We Think We Know

Abusive Relationship: Can You See It Coming? With Survivor & Advocate Sammie Jade

Yalin Buse — Tue, 20 Oct 2026 15:28:08 +1100

Do you think you’d notice if a partner was controlling you? Most of us do, and most of us are wrong. Sam explains how coercive control starts with attention that feels like love and slowly takes away your money, your friends, your family, and your freedom. She also explains why “just leave” is never that simple. Sam is a coercive control survivor, a mum, and one of Australia’s most prominent voices educating women about controlling relationships. After leaving, she gave evidence that helped send her ex-partner to prison, then turned her experience into a social media platform with millions of views. She now helps women recognise the warning signs, find the language for what they’re living through, and support the people they love.

In this episode, she explains:
* The Slow Squeeze: Coercive control is a pattern of small incidents that quietly strips away your autonomy until you’re managing someone else’s moods instead of living your own life.
* The Red Flags That Look Like Love: Constant texting, sudden jealousy, and deleting male friends “as a boundary” are easy to read as devotion in the first weeks.
* Why You Don’t See It: The boiling frog effect, isolation, gaslighting, minimising, self-blame and trauma bonding all work to keep victims from recognising what’s happening.
* The Money Trap: How economic abuse works in real life, from drained credit cards and locked accounts to being questioned over a coffee.
* Why Couples Counselling Can Backfire: What Sam learned about getting therapy, and why individual support matters before and after you leave.
* How to Really Help Someone: Why pressuring a friend to leave can push them further away, and what to do instead.

Follow Sammie:
Instagram: @sammieejade0
TikTok: @sammieejade0

00:00 Intro
01:02 Why Sam Became a Public Advocate
03:05 What Is Coercive Control?
05:43 How It Started: The Fairy Tale Beginning
07:01 The First Red Flags
08:56 How Entrapment Actually Happens
11:12 Did Anyone Around Her Notice?
13:14 When the Control Escalated
16:43 Isolation During Covid
19:32 Why Victims Don’t Recognise It
21:40 Trauma Bonding Explained
22:25 Why Couples Therapy Doesn’t Work
26:17 Economic Abuse
30:53 Control in the Bedroom
35:27 What Stress Does to Your Body
36:43 “Why Didn’t You Just Leave?”
40:12 The Day She Left
45:46 Stalking, AVOs & Fear of Release
48:31 Why She Went Public
51:16 Rebuilding Your Life
53:06 How to Help Someone You’re Worried About
54:43 “No Is a Complete Sentence”

If you or someone you know is affected by domestic or family violence in Australia, call 1800RESPECT on 1800 737 732.

Psychedelic Expert: How Psychedelics Can Rewire a Traumatised Brain

Yalin Buse — Thu, 01 Oct 2026 17:10:27 +1000

We were told psychedelics would fry your brain. Today, in clinical trials, they're being used to help people with depression, PTSD, and anxiety heal from what happened to them. DrEsme Dark is a clinical psychologist and somatic psychotherapist who spent a decade working with trauma survivors and refugees. She now guides people through psilocybin- and MDMA-assisted therapy in Australia, one of the leading countries in the field, and is involved in a first-of-its-kind trial using psilocybin for concussion.
She also hosts the podcast Beyond the Trip.

In this episode, she explains:

■ From Trauma Work to Psychedelics: How her work with trauma survivors led her to the research, and why the most surprising thing she has learned is that you never know where a person’s journey will go.

■ The Snow Globe Effect: How psychedelics change the way the brain communicates, why she compares the experience to shaking a snow globe, and how that can loosen the rigid thought patterns that keep people stuck.

■ MDMA Is Not a Classic Psychedelic: What makes it different, why it can help people work through trauma, and the surprising history of where it started.

■ What Therapy Actually Looks Like: The preparation sessions, what happens on dose day, and why the integration afterwards matters most. The medicine supports the therapy, not the other way around.

■ Is It Real? Why she says science and mystery both belong in this conversation, how traditional cultures have used these medicines for thousands of years, and why the feeling of an experience can matter even when the content isn’t literal.

■ Myth or True: A quick-fire round on addiction, brain damage, getting “stuck” on a trip, and whether you can reach a similar state without a drug.

This episode discusses trauma and mental health. It is educational and not medical advice. In Australia, psychedelic-assisted therapy is only available through authorised clinicians and approved trials.

01:15 Intro: From Trauma Work to Psychedelic Therapy
03:11 What Has the Brain Taught Her?
04:15 What Are Classic Psychedelics?
06:00 How Psychedelics Change the Brain
07:43 Rumination, Depression and the Snow Globe
09:09 The Window of Flexibility After a Session
10:37 MDMA: What Makes It Different
13:58 Who Is Psychedelic Therapy Used For?
15:14 Why Did Research Stop? The War on Drugs
18:36 Thousands of Years of Traditional Use
20:39 Spirituality, Science and Mystery
22:58 What Happens on Dose Day
25:15 Nerves, Safety and Difficult Experiences
26:05 Common Themes in Sessions
28:43 Ego Dissolution
30:38 Are the Visions Real?
33:26 End-of-Life Experiences
35:35 A Client Story: Healing Childhood Trauma
36:39 Why Self-Medicating Is Risky
42:04 Integration: What Happens After
43:11 Microdosing
44:56 Myth or True
45:42 Can You Reach These States Without a Drug?
51:26 Who Can Access Psychedelic Therapy?
52:36 The Myth She Wants to Kill

Questions asked in this episode (for reference):

How would you connect your past career to what you do now?
What’s the most surprising thing you’ve learned about the human brain?
What are the classic psychedelics?
How do they work on the brain, and why do they change our perception?
Is the default mode network what creates the sense of ego?
Is it overactive in depression?
Why is it possible to shake up our beliefs and thought patterns?
Is that critical period similar to the learning windows in childhood?
Can you explain MDMA?
What would therapy look like for someone with severe PTSD?
What are the other psychedelics typically used for, and who do you recommend them for?
Why has it taken science so long to come back to psychedelics?
Which cultures have used psychedelics, and what is the connection between consumption and spirituality?
What do you make of theories like the burning bush?
How does dose day work, and are people scared?
Could anxiety or a lack of safety lead to a bad experience?
What are the common themes people experience, and do you guide them?
Is ego dissolution a common theme?
Are the hallucinations real, and has this changed how you see reality?
What do people experience near the end of life?
Can you share an example of a client’s experience?
Can a lack of a therapist make things more confusing for people who self-medicate?
Do people ever resolve their problems in one session?
Does integration have to happen in the window afterwards?
What’s the value of microdosing?
Quick-fire: true or myth?
Who would you advise to try psychedelic therapy?
What’s one myth about psychedelics you’d like to kill once and for all?
How is the brain connected to the rest of the body?

This episode is for educational purposes only and isn't medical advice. If you're considering psychedelic-assisted therapy, speak to your GP.

The Dating Coach: You’re Probably Dating Wrong!

Yalin Buse — Fri, 18 Sep 2026 19:16:12 +1000

Dating doesn't have to be this hard; we've just been doing it wrong, and it's costing us years. How to stop being single, date successfully, and find the person who's actually right for you. We cover dating rules, red flags, confidence, ghosting, and what the apps are doing to us.

Sera Bozza went from architect to dating columnist to evidence-based dating coach, and has spent hundreds of hours sitting with men and women stuck in the same loops. We get into why ghosting hurts more than it used to, why men and women swipe in opposite ways, the profile mistake that attracts exactly the wrong person, and why "I'm just picky" is usually something else entirely.

Plus: her script for ending things without ghosting, the one word that makes people argue back, and why the dopamine you burn before a date decides how it goes.

Follow Sera: @serabozza

In this episode, she explains:

■ Why Dating Feels So Harsh Now: How having more platforms to follow someone across makes ghosting feel bigger, and why people treat matches differently from someone they’d meet in person.

■ Men, Women and the Apps: How the two sexes tend to use dating apps differently, why that creates a mismatch, and what each side gets wrong about the other.

■ Ballsy Like Bozza: Why confidence comes from getting “reps” in real life, her tips for approaching someone you like, and why the win is simply that you tried.

■ Better Profiles and Better Dates: Why a highlight reel of once-in-a-lifetime photos doesn’t help, why curiosity beats scripted questions, and why activity dates beat the interview-style drink.

■ Red Flags and Reality Checks: Her quick-fire verdicts, why picky “types” are often about avoidance, and how a kind, honest “no thanks” can turn a date into a friend.

■ Get Out of the Echo Chamber: Why she asks clients to reset their feeds and dopamine before a date, and why many people absorb dating horror stories that never happened to them.

00:00 Intro
01:36 From Architect to Dating Coach
02:30 Why Dating Changed
04:29 Why We Ghost Each Other
06:36 How Men and Women Use the Apps
09:10 What Men Come to Her For
12:18 Why Confidence Is About Reps
13:45 Approaching People in Real Life
15:42 Who’s More Likely? Game
17:12 Biggest Mistakes on Apps
18:23 How to Build a Better Profile
21:10 Is Dating Too Much Like an Interview?
23:29 Side-by-Side and Activity Dates
25:26 How Many People Should You Date at Once?
29:03 The Red Flags Women Ignore
30:08 Red Flag or Green Flag?
34:35 Why People Are So Picky
35:54 How Long to Wait After a Breakup
39:14 Chronic Daters and Dopamine
43:04 How to Say “Thanks, But No Thanks”
46:18 Is Dating Really Broken?
53:32 Setting Up Your Profile as a Goal-Setting Exercise
56:27 Manifesting and the “Shitty First Draft” After a Date
59:17 Fill in the Blank

Questions asked in this episode (for reference):

How did you end up as a dating coach?
What made you pick up a pen and write about dating?
Were the men you coached as frustrated as your girlfriends?
Why did ghosting and situationships take off, and what did we unlearn?
Do men and women approach dating differently?
Do women have higher expectations, and do men treat dates like interviews?
What do people come to you for, and what do women come for?
Why do people lack confidence approaching others, and what tip helps?
Who’s more likely to: catch feelings first, ghost after a great date, be picky, blame the apps?
What are the biggest mistakes people make on apps and in dating?
What’s the best first-date question?
Are we approaching dates wrong by treating them like interviews?
Are there dating rules we should follow, and how do you tell someone’s invested?
Should we limit how many people we see at once?
What’s the biggest red flag women ignore?
Red flag or green flag: slow replies, never organising dates, mentioning a therapist, “I feel like I’ve known you forever,” long-term single, several dates a week?
Why are people so specific about their type?
How long should we wait to date after a breakup?
Do some people date for the wrong reasons?
What do you mean by minimising dopamine before a date?
How do you politely say “thanks, but no thanks”?
Is dating “broken,” or is it an echo chamber?
What’s a social media dating myth you hate?
Do very independent people struggle to date?
What mantra helps you approach someone?
Fill in the blank: run if they..., wait how many dates, no second date if they..., why people stay single, most underrated green flag.

The Crime Expert: How To Spot A Killer With Gary Jubelin

Yalin Buse — Thu, 03 Sep 2026 15:36:45 +1000

You'd know a dangerous person if you met one. Wouldn't you? Gary Jubelin spent over 20 years as a homicide detective. He's interviewed murderers and men he calls pure evil. What he learned is uncomfortable: the difference between the people who kill and the rest of us is smaller and more circumstantial than we like to think. In this episode: the red flags that come before violence and why police dismissed them for years. The two tells that give away a liar and why prison makes most people worse.

In this episode, he explains:

■ The Gut Feeling Trap: A detective’s “instinct” is really years of accumulated experience. It can point you in a direction, but you can’t create the facts to suit it.

■ Prison Without the Monsters: Why a maximum-security prison built on respect, education and a no-violence rule changed his mind about rehabilitation. He also explains why he believes most prisoners can be steered away from reoffending, and a minority never should be released.

■ How People Fall Into Crime: From gang glamour to the search for brotherhood, he explains why role models, boundaries and a sense of belonging can decide which path a young person takes.

■ The Red Flags Before a Murder: Why stalking, breached restraining orders and prior strangulation worry him most, and why he thinks tracking devices could save lives.

■ How to Spot a Liar: Selective memory loss, too much detail, and the power of sitting in silence during an interview.

00:00 Intro
01:48 Life of a Homicide Detective
04:46 Why Are We So Fascinated By True Crime?
07:30 Too Passionate? The Cost of Homicide Work
10:13 Is the Detective’s Gut Feeling Real?
12:41 Can You Sense Evil in a Person?
15:20 Do Prisons Rehabilitate or Create Monsters?
20:26 Nature vs Nurture: What Makes a Violent Offender?
24:15 How Role Models and Gangs Lead People Into Crime
28:23 Substance Abuse and Crime
30:26 Psychopathy, Prison and the Cost of Locking People Up
34:17 The Four Motives Behind Murder
36:40 Why Are Most Offenders Men?
38:34 The Warning Signs: Stalking and Strangulation
42:06 Should Offenders Wear Tracking Devices?
44:03 How Can People Protect Themselves?
46:18 How to Spot Predators Around Children
51:41 What To Do If You Feel You’re Being Followed
54:03 When Detectives Feel Fear
55:57 The Cases That Never Leave Him
59:12 The William Tyrrell Case
01:03:01 How Seeing Evil Changes You
01:05:14 How To Spot a Liar
01:08:06 Why Every Case Needs Humanity

Questions asked in this episode (for reference):

Could you tell us a little about your career and what got you here?
Do people love true crime to learn how to protect themselves, to watch from a safe distance, or for entertainment?
Were there cases where you were scared after hours, or too emotionally invested?
What’s one thing about being a homicide detective that would surprise people?
Is there such a thing as a detective’s gut feeling?
Can you feel if someone has evil inside them?
Do prisons help people, or make them into monsters?
Is it more nurture than nature (e.g. the “warrior gene”)?
Beyond that, what other factors increase the likelihood of violent crime?
Does substance abuse raise the chance of violence?
Wouldn’t offenders with mental health issues be better helped by psychologists?
Can you link the reason for a crime to how rehabilitable someone is?
Why are most murder offenders men?
Are there red flags in behaviour before someone commits murder?
How do you make a stalking victim feel safe, and how do people protect themselves now?
Is there a tip that people tend to get wrong when they feel in danger?
Was there ever a moment in your career when you were really scared?
Is there a case that still weighs on you?
Have you ever looked at someone and sensed they were “off”?
What’s one thing we can look for when someone is lying?

Work Expert: Don't Waste 90,000 Hours In A Job You Don't Like

Yalin Buse — Mon, 24 Aug 2026 15:38:36 +1000

You'll spend around 90,000 hours of your life working, so why do four in five people say they don't actually like their jobs? Checked out, numb, or quietly done. This episode is about finding real meaning in your work before your life in the wrong job! Hans Rosinek is a work researcher and bestselling author. He's spent years untangling what actually makes work feel worth it and right for you!

In this episode, he explains:

■ The Meaning Pressure: Work has become “the last religion,” and expecting it to deliver your deepest purpose makes you easier to manipulate and harder to leave. Why a side project can make you more resilient.

■ The Four Kinds of Work: Paid work, care work, self work and political work all matter, and why only valuing wage labour ends up undermining wage labour itself.

■ The Laptop Worker Problem: Why people who never see the results of their work feel alienated, why they take up pottery on weekends, and how constant interruptions fragment our focus.

■ The Negotiation Trick: A simple reframe that turns your opponent’s reflexive “no” into your “yes” in salary talks, plus what to ask in interviews and how to spot red flags like “we’re a family.”

■ Gen Z and AI: Why the “lazy Gen Z” story is mostly a myth, why AI used only for speed leads to an efficiency trap and “workslop,” and why mediocrity has less and less room.

00:00 Intro
00:57 From Radio Presenter to Work Researcher
04:33 Can You Really “Do What You Love”?
06:03 The Dignity of “Dirty Jobs”
07:49 Which Jobs Are the Happiest?
10:58 Why Happiness Is the Wrong Goal
12:10 Laptop Workers and the Risk of Alienation
15:16 Why So Many People Are Disengaged
17:29 Home Office and the Junior Talent Pipeline
23:12 What Is “Meaning Pressure”?
26:02 The Four Kinds of Work
35:18 What Actually Motivates People?
38:18 Why Quiet Quitting Happens
42:19 What Makes a Good (and Bad) Manager?
49:19 Interview Red Flags for Young Workers
52:00 The Salary Negotiation Trick
57:55 Advice for Your First Years of Work
01:02:13 The Surfing Analogy for Your Career
01:05:12 Is Gen Z Really Lazy?
01:14:52 Are Entry-Level Jobs Disappearing?
01:17:42 If AI Is the Answer, What Is the Question?
01:21:56 Should We Have a Four-Day Week?
01:22:45 What To Do If You’re Lost at 20-Something
01:24:52 The Biggest Lies About Work

Questions asked in this episode (for reference):

Can you tell us a bit about yourself and how you got here?
Is “do what you love” smart advice, or a privileged way of thinking?
Have you found a job that is consistently happy?
What happens psychologically to people who never see the output of their work?
Is that why so many people are disengaged at work?
Is home office good or bad for productivity?
Does working from home put entry-level workers behind?
What do you mean by “meaning pressure”?
Isn’t a side hustle a privileged way of thinking?
Should we all have a bit of each type of work?
Are there factors that predict satisfaction and meaning at work?
Why do more people engage in quiet quitting?
What makes a manager good?
What are three quick bad traits of a manager?
If a company says “we’re a family,” should alarm bells go off?
What other red flags should young workers look for?
Is there any other tip for people just starting out?
Is it true that Gen Z is lazy?
Are entry-level jobs suffering the most right now?
What do you mean by “if AI is the answer, what is the question?”
Is a four-day work week a good thing? (yes or no)
What tip would you give a 20-something who’s completely lost?
What’s the biggest lie told to people about work?

Female vs Male Brain: Whats the real difference ? With Neuroscientist Dr Sarah McKay

Yalin Buse — Mon, 10 Aug 2026 15:12:07 +1000

What really shapes the brain biology: trauma, hormones, and the world you grow up in? Oxford-trained neuroscientist Dr Sarah McKay unpacks how the brain works and changes across a lifetime, with a focus on women's brain health. We cover the 80% overlap between male and female brains, how gender equality reshapes the brain, why your phone quietly drains your memory, the teenage brain and risk-taking, hormonal sensitivity, sleep, loneliness, and what actually protects your brain for the long run.

In this episode, she explains:

■ Cognitive Load: Why a brain that feels overwhelmed isn’t broken. She uses the example of driving a car to show how constant background demands, including the news cycle, add to the load.

■ Do Male and Female Brains Differ? Why she says that looking at a single scan, you couldn’t tell, why group averages overlap far more than they differ, and why life experience and opportunity shape the brain alongside biology.

■ Teenage Brains, Risk and Belonging: Why adolescence is a sensitive period for social experience, why she calls the “frontal lobes aren’t developed until 25” idea a myth, and why teens weigh social exclusion as a real risk.

■ Hormonal Sensitivity and Early Life: Why some people are more sensitive to hormonal shifts, how early adversity can shape development, and why population patterns don’t predict any one person’s future.

■ Sleep, Loneliness and Brain Health: Why she calls sleep the foundation of brain health, why regular timing may matter as much as the hours, and why being alone and feeling lonely are different things.

■ Fire Round: Brain training apps, reversing the effects of a tough childhood, whether falling in love is a chemical addiction, and the one thing she wishes science could answer.

Questions asked in this episode (for reference):

If I gave you a brain scan of a woman and a man, is there a difference?
Where would the small differences lie?
Can you tell us about the study comparing brains in countries with different levels of gender equality?
Is that learned behaviour, and does it mean my brain develops less if I don’t practise certain skills?
How would you describe how the brain develops in the early years and through puberty?
Is that why teenagers take more risks?
Why do depression rates rise for girls in adolescence?
Why are some people more hormonally sensitive, and what are the trigger factors?
What happens in the brain when a young child experiences trauma?
Nature or nurture?
Why is sleep so important?
Is there a link between sleep and Alzheimer’s?
What factors help or harm brain health, at different ages?
Is there less brain activity when doom scrolling than when asleep?
Fire round: Are brain training apps effective or a waste of time?
Can you reverse the effects of a difficult childhood on the brain?
Is falling in love a chemical addiction?
Do people chase excitement outside long-term relationships?
If there’s one thing in science you wish you had the answer to, what would it be?

Dream Job Influencer: The Reality Inside the $36 Billion Industry

Yalin Buse — Tue, 28 Jul 2026 15:33:59 +1000

You think being an influencer is free clothes and easy money. It's a $36 billion industry — and almost nobody understands how it actually works.

Francesca Hung: content creator and former Miss Universe Australia pulls back the curtain: how influencers really get paid, why she said no to brand money most people never would, how the algorithm keeps every creator guessing, and the impossible call every parent online eventually faces.

Follow Francesca:
Instagram: Francesca.hung
TikTok: Francescahung

In this episode, she explains:

■ How Influencing Crept Up On Her: Why she never thought of early Instagram as “content creation,” and how posting for fun turned into a serious industry.

■ Protecting Your Brand: How she works with her agent, why they decline more than they accept (“you’re defined by what you decline”), and why she only promotes products she genuinely uses.

■ The Authenticity Paradox: Why audiences crave “real” content, why behind-the-scenes posts are still curated, and where she draws the line on what she shares of her family and private life.

■ Feeding the Beast: The pressure to post constantly, how the algorithm has shifted from Reels to carousels, and what she learned when she stepped back.

■ The Hidden Workload: Why one brief means producer, stylist, hair and makeup, videographer and editor, all before the agency and tax take their cut.

■ Stigma and the Future: How she handles the negative image of influencing, why she’d ask her own daughter “what do you want to make content about?”, and the quick-fire round on money, stability and going full time.

Questions asked in this episode (for reference):

When did you realise you had started a content creation career?
How much of your work does your agent handle before you create anything?
What was the conversation like when you decided how to handle becoming a mum online?
Is there any part of your life where you say “this is as far as I’ll share”?
Would you rather show more authenticity and have more success, or keep things the way they are?
Do you follow creators who only post fashion without showing their whole lives?
How do you navigate the products you really use versus the ones you have to show?
Do you have the luxury of saying no because you’re at this point in your career?
Do you feel you have to post constantly?
Has the algorithm changed how you post on Instagram versus TikTok?
Do brands see all your stats, and are prices based on a formula or negotiated?
Do you get anxiety about how a post will perform?
Have you worked with a brand where you thought “what was this?”
Does the pressure of always being “on” lead to burnout?
If your daughter wanted to become a content creator, would you say yes or no?
How do you deal with the stigma of the job?
What misconceptions do people have about your job that you wish they didn’t?
What tip would you give young people getting into content creation?
Quick fire: Is influencing financially rewarding? Financially stable? Is there a follower number you need to go full time?
Was there a surreal moment in your career?

9 Years Inside Afghanistan: The War Photographer Who Stayed

Yalin Buse — Thu, 16 Jul 2026 16:18:38 +1000

Why don't war photos shock us anymore? Andrew Quilty spent 9 years as a photojournalist in Afghanistan: photographing the Taliban, the war, and the day Kabul fell and he has an answer. In this episode, we get into how the images on your feed shape what you believe about war, why you feel less every time you scroll, and what nine years behind the camera taught him about what a single photo can and can't do.

Andrew is the first photographer ever to win the Gold Walkley for his image inside the US-bombed MSF hospital in Kunduz. He's the author of August in Kabul and is currently a witness in a war crimes trial.

In this episode, he explains:

■ The Checklist in Your Head: Why he arrived in Afghanistan with a superficial list of images (burqas, poverty, violence), how it changed as he came to understand the place, and why he chose not to push to photograph women in private homes.

■ The Camera as a Shield: Why he calls his camera a shield from fear and trauma, why it never made him feel safe from harm, and how walking towards danger feels from the inside.

■ Can One Photo Change the World? Why we remember only a handful of images, why people read photographs through their own worldview, and why context matters.

■ Who Shapes the Story: How the editors and institutions behind publications influence what we see, what independent media gains and loses without guardrails, and what social media does to our appetite for the dramatic.

■ The Kunduz Hospital: How he got into the city, what he found, and why tracking down the man’s family gave an anonymous image a human story.

■ Kabul Falls: What the final days looked like from inside the city, what he feared and didn’t, and why he says “it’s complicated” is the one thing to hold in mind whenever you see a war image online.

This episode discusses war, violence and death.

00:19 What Do Photojournalists Want From a Photo?
02:32 The Checklist: What He Expected to Photograph
05:15 How Afghans and the Taliban Treated Him
09:56 When the Camera Puts You in Danger
13:20 Walking Towards a Blast
17:15 Trauma, Choice and Coming Home to Sydney
20:39 Is the Camera a Shield or a Weapon?
25:25 Can a Single Photograph Change Anything?
30:50 Editors, Bias and the Machine of Media
34:44 Citizen Journalism and Legacy Media
38:06 Desensitisation and Algorithm Bubbles
42:14 The Kunduz Hospital and the Gold Walkley Photo
01:00:18 The Fall of Kabul
01:08:40 Getting Out
01:10:35 Images as Weapons
01:14:20 What To Remember When You See a War Photo

Questions asked in this episode (for reference):

What’s the goal most photojournalists operate under when they go out to get photos?
What checklist was running in your head when you started?
How were you treated by locals because you were a journalist?
Did you ever have to navigate the fear of the Taliban?
Did the camera ever put you in danger?
Did you ever feel targeted as a journalist?
What goes through your head walking towards a bomb blast?
How do you go home at the end of the day without being harmed, and how do you digest what you’ve seen?
Now you’re back in Sydney, do moments transport you back to Afghanistan?
Is the camera a shield, a weapon, or something else?
Does the camera shield you from people who want to cause you harm?
Can a single photograph change that much, or is that a stretch?
Was there a discrepancy between what you submitted and what your employers chose?
Does citizen journalism contribute positively to how wars are documented?
Are we becoming desensitised by the pace of the news cycle?
Can you tell the story of the Kunduz hospital photograph?
Is finding the man’s family what made the photograph so special?
How did Kabul change when it fell, and were you ever scared?
Were you ever scared you wouldn’t get out?
What’s your opinion on images in conflict being used as a weapon?
If people could hold one thing in mind when they see a war image, what should it be?
How would you describe the way war is portrayed in the media in one word?

Dating Apps: Are They Keeping Us Single?

Yalin Buse — Fri, 03 Jul 2026 15:59:28 +1000

Maple founder Connor reveals how dating app algorithms secretly rank and league your profile, why Hinge, Tinder, and Bumble are built on the same psychology as slot machines, and why the system is structurally designed to keep you swiping instead of getting you matched quietly keeping millions of people single. Connor is the founder of Maple, a dating and social platform, and has spent years researching and building inside the dating app industry.

In this episode, he explains:

■ Why Apps Reward Activity, Not Relationships: Dating apps make money from the interactions on the platform, not from successful matches. He explains how that incentive shapes the products and why the people most capable of finding a partner tend to leave first.

■ The Slot Machine Effect: How variable rewards keep us swiping, why unpredictable results are more addictive than consistently good ones, and why he sees these products as validation apps as much as dating apps.

■ Too Much Choice: Why endless options make it harder to commit, why profiles feel like products, and how limited information means everyone ends up chasing the same people.

■ The Rise of Offline Connection: Why people are returning to in-person events after COVID, how a social club works as a “fourth space,” and the simple ripple effect that gets a room of strangers talking.

■ AI and the Future of Dating: Whether AI should write your messages or coach you to show up in real life, and the one myth about dating apps he’d like to kill for good.

03:19 Intro: Is Online Dating Broken?
04:47 How Dating Has Changed Over the Years
06:00 Are Dating Apps a Crutch?
09:02 What Dating Is Like in 2026
10:01 Why a Few Profiles Get All the Attention
12:19 How Hinge Ranks Profiles
14:33 What Do Dating Apps Actually Want?
18:20 Standouts, Roses and Thousands of Unanswered Likes
22:20 Choice Overload: The More You See, the Less You Match
27:06 Ghosting and How Apps Change Our Behaviour
30:00 Are Dating Apps Slot Machines?
35:06 Validation Apps: Why “Someone Liked You” Works
37:35 The Biggest Mistakes People Make on Apps
42:15 Why Gen Z Is Going Offline
44:57 Inside Maple Social Club
50:08 How Do You Tell People How You Met?
52:48 Are Dating Apps Safe?
54:06 Why Dating Apps Get Worse Over Time
01:01:47 AI and the Future of Dating
01:08:43 The Biggest Myth About Dating Apps
01:09:55 Fire Round

Questions asked in this episode (for reference):

Over the years you’ve built Maple, what has changed in your opinion of online dating?
If someone woke up from a coma after ten years, how would you describe dating in 2026 in two sentences?
Is it true that a small share of men get most of the attention on apps?
Do people now see profiles as products to swipe yes or no on?
How does Hinge rank profiles from a technological standpoint?
Is it true you can’t swipe yes on everyone or no on everyone?
What is the goal of dating apps if succeeding means losing users?
Which apps does Match Group own?
Do the “good” profiles actually match your type, or everyone’s type?
Is choice overload real, and does seeing more mean swiping less?
Has the way we act on dating apps changed our in-person behaviour?
Why are apps like Tinder compared to slot machines?
Do we get the high from finding someone attractive or from being swiped on?
What are the biggest mistakes people make on dating apps?
Why are people engaging more with offline dating?
What has hosting these huge events taught you about dating?
Do people prefer to say they met at an event rather than on an app?
Can dating apps be dangerous?
Do you think most future relationships will be mediated through AI?
Is access really the issue, or is it more about social skills?
What is one myth about dating apps you could kill once and for all?
Fire round: one word for Bumble, Raya, Hinge and Maple.

Model Reveals: The Reality Inside The Modeling World

Yalin Buse — Tue, 23 Jun 2026 16:36:09 +1000

In this episode, I sit down with the lovely Kenz Lawren, model and creator with over 1.5 million TikTok followers, to uncover the reality of the modelling industry and what it's really like to work as a model. We discuss the reality of Fashion Week, how much models actually get paid, agency life, the pressure to stay skinny, eating disorders, sexual harassment in the industry, rejection, and how social media has changed the modeling world forever. Whether you're an aspiring model or simply curious about what happens behind the scenes, this is an honest look at the challenges, opportunities, and truths of the fashion industry.

*Small correction: In the episode, I say that Kenz was one of the faces of Dior Beauty, which was my mistake. She was actually one of the beauty brand faces of Anastasia Beverly Hills.

In this episode, she explains:

■ The Lifestyle Commitment: Why modelling is not a clock-in, clock-out job, and how the cost of looking the part can mean choosing between groceries and getting your nails done.

■ Where the Money Goes: The difference between commercial and fashion models, how agency cuts work, why editorials often pay nothing, and why she says pay has fallen since the 90s.

■ Fashion Week Reality: Who pays for flights and housing, how models can end up in debt to their agencies, and why the glamour hides a high-pressure, party-heavy culture.

■ Power and Boundaries: Why models have no union, no HR and little legal protection, and the story of the day she walked off a test shoot at 18. Her advice: you don’t owe anyone an explanation, just get out.

■ Bodies and Beauty Standards: Whether the industry’s push for diversity was ever genuine, and why she believes your health should never come second to a job.

■ AI and the Future: Why she thinks AI models will be the “fast fashion” of the industry, and why authenticity will win in the end.

Questions asked in this episode (for reference):

Why do you think so many people are craving the content you put out there?
How long have you been in the industry?
What should the 18-year-old you have known before getting in?
What does the industry demand from models that we have no idea about?
What’s the difference between a fashion model and a commercial model?
On a $10,000 job, who takes a cut between the model and the job?
Why are models paid so much less than they used to be?
Rough estimates: what does a Fashion Week show, a Zara e-com shoot, a full Zara campaign and a Vogue editorial actually pay?
Does having a big social following make you more valuable as a model?
Who pays for flights, hotels and expenses at Fashion Week?
What dynamic does it create when models start out in debt to their agency?
Are model apartments as crowded and expensive as they sound?
Is it true that drugs are normalised at Fashion Week?
What does years of rejection at castings do to someone?
Do people treat you differently when you say you’re a model?
Has the industry really shifted towards inclusivity and diversity?
Where’s the line between maintaining weight for the job and an eating disorder?
Have you ever had an agent say something to you about your body?
Does the industry have a problem with sexual harassment, and when does it stop being a scandal and start being a business model?
Have you ever had to draw your limits as a model?
Did the fear of being blacklisted play on your mind?
What did you do to get out of that situation?
What does being an independent contractor mean for your rights?
Why has it taken so long for models to get legal protection?
Was there a moment that made you think you had to start talking about this?
Are models scared to be open because it could cost them bookings?
Do you worry you’re helping young women into an industry you’re so critical of?
Has modelling made you more confident?
Will the modelling industry suffer from AI?
If you could kill one myth about models once and for all, what would it be?

Is ChatGPT Making Us Dumber? Neuroscientist On How AI Changes Our Brains

Yalin Buse — Thu, 11 Jun 2026 11:25:39 +1000

Neuroscientist and neuro-futurologist Professor Joel Pearson reveals what AI is really doing to our brains, our relationships, and our grip on reality — from cognitive atrophy and the loneliness trap to the rise of AI companions and what he calls the uncertainty pandemic.

Professor Joel Pearson is a neuroscientist and neuro-futurologist based at UNSW, where he leads the Future Minds Lab.

He explains:

How AI use is quietly reshaping our cognitive abilities
Why we're falling into a loneliness trap despite constant connection
What AI companions are doing to our capacity for real relationships
Why he calls this moment the uncertainty pandemic
What we can actually do to protect our minds in the AI era

Topics:

■ Intelligence, Not Technology: Why calling AI a “technology revolution” is a category mistake, like thinking electricity was just a better candle, and why that mislabelling leads us to underestimate what’s coming.

■ The Uncertainty Pandemic: The brain treats not knowing the future like a threat, and exponential change makes the future close to impossible to predict. He explains why this is driving stress and anxiety, and why it’s not a personal failing.

■ Cognitive Upsizing: If you outsource your thinking to AI, the effort of thinking hard gets harder over time. His fix is to use AI to stay competitive, then keep wrestling with bigger, juicier problems yourself.

■ AI Companions and Reality: What happens to relationships, emotional intelligence and our sense of what’s real when AI is endlessly agreeable, and why “seeing is no longer believing.”

■ A National Plan for Change: Why we need change management for a whole society, and his advice for individuals: practise exposing yourself to small doses of uncertainty and reframing them as opportunity.

01:32 Intro: What Is a Neurofuturist?
04:28 Why AI Is Intelligence, Not a Technology
07:13 What Uncertainty Does to the Brain
10:28 Why We Can’t Grasp Exponential Change
13:11 The Future of Work: Entrepreneurs, UBI and Purpose
18:59 Who Gets Access to the Best AI Tools?
21:44 Does Outsourcing to AI Shrink Your Brain?
24:23 Cognitive Upsizing: How to Stay Sharp
29:52 Kids, AI Companions and Emotional Intelligence
33:33 How We Treat AI and How We Treat People
37:10 AI as a Therapist: The Risks of Flattery
40:30 Do AI Companions Fix Loneliness?
43:46 Deepfakes and the End of “Seeing Is Believing”
49:59 Misinformation vs. the Speed of Change
51:01 Why We Need a National Framework for Change
54:19 Can Governments Keep Up?
57:37 The Warning Signs To Watch For
01:02:00 “Gyms for the Mind”
01:03:10 Superintelligence and Where Humans Fit
01:05:34 Can AI Be Conscious?
01:10:58 Why AI Experts Aren’t the Only Voices We Need
01:12:06 His One Tip for Handling Change

Questions asked in this episode (for reference):

Could you tell us about yourself and what a neurofuturist is?
You’ve said this is the largest psychology experiment ever run and none of us signed up for it. What do you mean?
Is that because we only see AI as a tool that gives us answers?
On a basic human level, what is this uncertainty doing to us right now?
Why can’t humans see exponential change?
Once AI can self-improve, is that where intelligence becomes exponential?
Why do you expect more people to become entrepreneurs?
Will there be enough work for everyone, and isn’t access to these tools a privilege?
What does outsourcing our thinking to AI do to us as individuals?
Is that a net positive or net negative for society?
Can you give an example of cognitive upsizing?
Do we also lose our ability to be critical of the output?
Are there specific brain areas affected by outsourcing?
What is the danger for children’s developing brains?
Could treating AI companions badly change how we treat people?
Do AI companions actually help with loneliness?
Where do the problems start when our sense of reality fades?
Is misinformation really one of the biggest global threats?
How will the chaos you describe play out?
How can governments keep up with exponential change?
You call yourself a tech optimist. What could a good outcome look like?
What would be your “canary in the coal mine” for AI’s effect on humans?
What would worry you most from a pure brain perspective?
Where do humans fit if AI becomes far more intelligent than us?
Is there a line where AI becomes sentient?
How do you react when AI pioneers warn of extinction risk?
If listeners could take away one thing, what would it be?

K-beauty: Why We've Been Getting Skincare Wrong

Yalin Buse — Tue, 26 May 2026 17:22:13 +1000

Korean skincare has reshaped global beauty culture but most people still don't understand why it works. In this episode, we sit down with Dr. Sean, a K-Beauty expert and educator, to explore the real philosophy behind Korean skincare: the cultural mindset, the ingredients that actually deliver results, the routines worth following, the products worth knowing, and the myths the beauty industry has let run for far too long. Calm, curious, and genuinely illuminating, this one will change how you think about your skin.

Follow Dr. Sean on Instagram @dr.skinsource and TikTok @drsean.skin

In this episode, he explains:

■ The Expectations Problem: Why “glass skin” can’t be achieved in one session, and why the biggest myth is that K-beauty is a one-time fix.

■ Yebang, the Prevention Mindset: Why Koreans often start treatments like Botox in their 20s, how that differs from the Western “fix it later” approach, and why he compares it to brushing your teeth before you get cavities.

■ The Skin Barrier: Why he describes it as the cement between your skin’s bricks, and the three ingredients he thinks are the most underrated for protecting it.

■ The Ingredient Report Card: His honest ratings of retinol, niacinamide, vitamin C, acids, cica, peptides and snail mucin, and why he rates PDRN (the “salmon DNA” ingredient) so low in creams.

■ K-Beauty Myths and Pressure: Why “all natural” is mostly marketing, why almost nobody does the full 10-step routine, and how a culture of commenting on looks creates insecurity and trends like shoulder fillers.

■ His Routine and One Takeaway: What he actually puts on his face, the most common mistake people make (overusing strong products too fast), and the one thing he wants everyone to remember.

Questions asked in this episode (for reference):

Can you tell us about yourself and where your career started?
If you could kill one myth once and for all, which would it be?
Why do Western and Korean beauty philosophies (Yebang) differ so much?
Is the skin of Korean women in their 50s down to genetics, skincare or clinics?
What drives the speed of innovation in Korean beauty?
Is going to the clinic something people do casually here, given the prices?
At what age do children in Korea become aware of skincare, and is starting early beneficial?
What is the skin barrier?
Is the criticism of Western skincare fair or too harsh?
What is the relationship Koreans have with their skin and appearance?
Can you rate these ingredients from 1 to 10: retinol, niacinamide, vitamin C, AHAs, snail mucin, centella, peptides, PDRN?
What is the worst ingredient people are using, and what is the most underrated?
What does each of these ingredients actually do?
Do PDRN products really work?
Do you agree sunscreen is essential, and are Korean sunscreens better?
Is it good that K-beauty has exploded online, or does it create new problems?
What’s the worst thing you’ve seen someone do in the name of a trend?
What’s a skincare myth you’ve seen online?
How would you rate Botox and Pico lasers?
What three things should someone in their 20s focus on, and what changes in their 30s?
Is K-beauty really all natural?
Is the 10-step routine nonsense?
Is makeup on men culturally accepted, and what’s the male-to-female ratio at your clinic?
What treatment is most requested, and do international clients know what they want?
Have you ever refused a treatment?
What do people get wrong about the day-to-day at a clinic?
What does your own skincare routine look like?
What are the most common questions you get on social media?
Which three products would you grab in 20 minutes at Olive Young?
Can you rate my current routine?
How can listeners work out what suits them, and what is the most common mistake?

Introducing Your New Favorite Podcast

Yalin Buse — Wed, 20 May 2026 17:51:02 +1000

Most of us walk around with opinions we've never really tested. We think we know how the world works until someone who really knows tells us otherwise.

This is We Think We Know, a podcast where I sit down with leading experts to challenge the assumptions we've never thought to question. Every episode, one conversation, one idea turned upside down.

In this intro, I talk about who I am, why I started the show, and what you can expect from every episode.

Subscribe if you're the kind of person who'd rather be proven wrong than stay comfortable.
FOLLOW
Instagram: @wethink.weknow

#podcast #assumptions #criticalthinking #learnomething #podcastintro #interviews #experts #mindset #curiosity #weThinkWeKnow