Unashamed Unafraid

EP 208: Healing The Inner Child with Drew Boa

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 14 Apr 2026 06:00:00 -0600

In this episode of Unashamed Unafraid, Sam and Mason welcome Drew Boa, author of Outgrow Porn and founder of Husband Material Ministries, who explains inner child work as understanding sexual temptation and intolerable emotional pain as implicit “body memory” rather than mature adult desire. Drew shares how recognizing his own sexual imprinting and connecting it to childhood trauma replaced self-hatred with self-compassion and inviting Jesus into wounded places. Using the cave rescue documentary as an analogy, he outlines a process of locating, loving, and leading multiple “inner boys,” emphasizing connection over control, co-regulation, curiosity-based questions, and identifying attachment needs beneath cravings, framing porn as a pacifier and a protest while encouraging courageous, hope-filled “redemptive risks.”

Connect with Drew Boa:
https://www.husbandmaterial.com/
https://www.drewboa.com/outgrow-porn

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Timestamps:

00:00 Recovery Check In
03:23 Meet Drew Boa
06:01 What Is the Inner Child
09:10 Drew Story And Imprinting
12:33 Rescue The Boy Within
17:20 When Pain Triggers Relapse
21:14 Befriending Questions
23:55 Porn As Pacifier and a Protest
28:25 Face, Feel and Co Regulate
32:49 Hope And Redemptive Risk
34:32 Where To Find Drew
36:37 Wrap Up And Subscribe

EP 207: Live Unashamed - The Power of Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 07 Apr 2026 06:00:00 -0600

In this Live Unashamed episode of Unashamed Unafraid, the hosts discuss the impact of sharing honest, raw stories in sexual addiction recovery and how storytelling combats the shame that fuels isolation and acting out. They explain that people connect through stories, and that naming taboo experiences with courage and vulnerability can break shame and bring healing.

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00:00 Why Story Matters

03:23 Writing Your Story

05:02 Sharing With Sponsor

06:53 Timeline And The Good

10:39 Josh On Sharing

15:28 Chris on Going Public

18:15 Hope And Next Steps

19:44 Send Us Your Story

EP 206: Surrender and Grief With Roxanna Johnson

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 31 Mar 2026 06:00:00 -0600

In this episode of Unashamed Unafraid, we return with Roxanna Johnson for a second recording as she explains how spouses are changed by the “dance” of addiction, why both partners have parallel recovery paths, and how hope can emerge over years of work. She teaches surrender as releasing control to God, addressing fear and hypervigilance, and emphasizes grieving, emotional regulation, movement with breath, journaling, and a step-by-step surrender practice, urging those struggling with addiction to “see” and validate their spouse’s pain while seeking the God who knows their name. Roxanna is the author of Forgotten in the Battle with Sexual Addiction, The Journey of a Spouse.

*Check out Roxy's book on Amazon
To connect with Roxy, send her an email: roxyj16@gmail.com or visit her Website, Facebook and Instagram

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00:00 Welcome and Check In
04:35 Spouses Need to Heal Too
08:07 The Recovery Dance
13:15 Surrendering Control
17:29 Fear and Trusting God
22:00 How to Support Your Wife
27:26 Grief and Healing
30:57 Six Steps to Surrender
38:14 God Knows Your Name
43:33 Closing and Resources

EP 205: Live Unashamed - Stop Explaining and Start Listening

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 24 Mar 2026 06:00:00 -0600

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EP 204: Nathan Maxwell's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 17 Mar 2026 06:00:00 -0600

Nathan Maxwell returns after a lost recording to share updated perspectives on recovery and marriage. He recounts early exposure to pornography in fourth grade, his parents’ divorce, his half-brother’s suicide, and how shame and suppressed grief fueled compulsive porn use and a growing need for validation from various sexual partners. Nathan describes how religious culture, lack of sex education, and scrupulosity shaped a belief that God hated him, contributing to misery and suicidal ideation. Recovery began when a church member introduced him to Unashamed, Unafraid, 12-step meetings, and boot camp. Nathan now lives with a changed view of God as a loving Father, and ongoing growth through setbacks and sobriety since November 2024.

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Timestamps:

00:00 Guidebook Update

01:32 Nathan Returns

03:24 Roots of Addiction

17:14 Bootcamp Breakthrough

19:01 Learning Gods Love

26:33 Golden Nuggets of Recovery

EP 203: Live Unashamed- Slowing Down the RPMs

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 10 Mar 2026 06:00:00 -0600

**Click here to buy tickets to the Utah Coalition Against Pornography Help, Hope, and Healing Conference on March 14th, 2026.
Make sure to use the code ucap2026 for $10 off your ticket!

In this episode of Live Unashamed, the hosts discuss the importance of slowing down in the journey of recovery from sexual addiction. They explore how rushing through recovery can lead to overwhelming feelings and failure, whereas taking time to pause, reflect, and integrate new practices can lead to more sustainable progress. The conversation covers practical strategies such as focusing on one or two recovery tools at a time, practicing mindfulness and stillness, and building self-awareness of emotional states. Tune in to learn how taking it slow can help you achieve lasting recovery.

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00:00 Introduction and Warm Welcome
01:35 Today's Topic: Slowing Down in Recovery
02:07 The Importance of Slowing Down
06:31 Practical Steps to Slow Down
07:42 Integrating New Learnings
12:52 The Power of Stillness and Meditation
20:40 Final Thoughts and Viewer Engagement

EP 202: Troy's Story & Conversations About Sobriety

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 03 Mar 2026 06:00:00 -0700

This episode dives deep into the raw truth that sobriety is vital, shame is a battle, and authentic recovery requires honesty and courage. Listen as Troy shares his powerful story, struggles, and how God's grace rewrites everything.

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Timestamps:

00:00 - Why sobriety must be at the heart of recovery

02:10 - The destructive power of pornography and shame’s role

03:21 - Personal admission: the struggle of honest recovery

05:19 - Sobriety vs. recovery: understanding the difference

07:58 - Troy’s childhood, exposure, and early struggles with addiction

10:45 - The cycle of addiction and the power of honesty

14:14 - Crowning moment: finally coming clean after years of hiding

16:58 - The courage it takes to attend your first recovery group

18:28 - Defining true sobriety: what it really means to be free

22:35 - The role of shame, pride, and accountability in lasting change

28:30 - How shame can be the enemy of long-term sobriety

33:11 - Different perspectives on God: from Santa to Loving Guide

40:44 - Practical steps: trying differently when stuck in recovery

42:51 - Embracing honesty: the key to living unashamed

EP 201: Live Unashamed- Turn the Light Up

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 24 Feb 2026 06:00:00 -0700

In this episode of Live Unashamed, we discuss a pivotal quote from The Stick of Joseph podcast about resisting temptation not by direct confrontation but by turning towards positive actions and thoughts. Our conversation covers the importance of connection with others, honesty, and creating a lifestyle centered around connection and healing. Listen as we share our experiences and practical advice on turning the light up in recovery.

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00:00 Introduction and Personal Reflections
01:52 The Power of Brotherhood in Recovery
02:43 Discussing a Thought-Provoking Quote
04:11 Applying the Quote to Recovery
05:08 Strategies for Managing Temptation
07:47 The Importance of Connection and Honesty
10:34 Building a Lifestyle of Recovery
20:09 Final Thoughts and Viewer Engagement

EP 200: Dr. Trish Leigh

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 17 Feb 2026 06:00:00 -0700

In this enlightening episode of Unashamed Unafraid, we delve into the challenging yet transformative journey of porn addiction recovery with Dr. Trish Leigh, a cognitive neuroscientist. Dr. Leigh shares her unique approach of using EEG technology to understand and regulate the brain's functioning, helping individuals overcome compulsive sexual behaviors. She discusses the impact of dopamine dependency and the importance of unwiring, rewiring, and hardwiring the brain for long-term recovery. This episode is packed with insights and practical strategies for anyone struggling with or supporting someone through porn addiction recovery.

To connect with Dr. Leigh:
WEBSITE AND YOUTUBE: https://drtrishleigh.com/ / https://www.youtube.com/@DrTrishLeigh

FOR BRAIN BASED CONDITIONS: https://www.youtube.com/@SupernormalbyDrTrishLeigh/videos

FOR PARTNERS: https://www.youtube.com/@sanityafterbetrayal / https://sanityafterbetrayal.com/

INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/drtrishleigh/

BOOK: https://drtrishleigh.com/book/

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00:00 Introduction to Unashamed Unafraid
01:16 Meet Dr. Trish Leigh: Cognitive Neuroscientist
02:16 Understanding Porn Addiction and Brain Function
03:09 The Recovery Process: Begin, Continue, and End
04:16 Using EEG Technology in Recovery
08:10 The Impact of Dopamine on Addiction
12:17 Unwiring and Rewiring the Brain
24:20 Strain Brain vs. Drain Brain
26:22 Building a Strong Relationship
26:49 The Impact of Porn on Brain Development
28:16 Understanding Feedback Loops
29:04 Implementing Brain Rewiring Strategies
31:16 The Role of Neuroplasticity
33:37 The Science Behind Brain Changes
35:17 The Importance of Dopamine Regulation
39:21 Using Technology for Brain Health
42:55 Final Thoughts and Resources

EP 199: Live Unashamed- Women in Recovery

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 10 Feb 2026 06:00:00 -0700

In this episode, we introduce Madi Davis, host of 'Sisters on the Front Lines', who brings a fresh perspective on women's struggles with pornography. Join hosts Sam, James, Chris, and Madi as they discuss the unique challenges women face, the impact of shame, and the importance of connection. Madi shares her personal journey and highlights valuable resources that support women in their recovery. This episode is a must for anyone looking to understand and support women dealing with pornography addiction.

Check out Madi's podcast & connect with her here: https://www.instagram.com/sistersonthefrontlines

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00:00 Introduction to Unashamed Unafraid
01:46 Meet Madi Davis: Host of Sisters on the Front Lines
02:45 The Unique Challenges Women Face with Pornography Addiction
04:33 Stories of Struggle and Shame
08:48 Finding Resources and Support
10:58 Messages of Hope and Recovery
18:37 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

EP 198: Un-Alone with Douglas & Madi

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 03 Feb 2026 06:00:00 -0700

In this special episode of Unashamed Unafraid, we welcome Madi and Douglas, who share their experiences with pornography addiction and recovery. They represent the Un-Alone Club at BYU, a student organization aimed at supporting individuals struggling with pornography and other related issues. Douglas discusses his personal journey with addiction recovery, including how he overcame shame and learned to communicate openly with his wife. Madi shares her efforts in starting a podcast focused on helping young women struggling with pornography. Together, they emphasize the importance of community and connection in overcoming addiction. Tune in to hear their inspiring stories and insights on living unashamed and unafraid.

Follow the Un-Alone Club on Instagram!

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00:00 Introduction to Unashamed Unafraid
01:27 Meet Madi and Douglas
01:47 The Un-Alone Club at BYU
02:38 Madi's Podcast Journey
06:41 Douglas' Personal Story
07:51 Douglas' Mission Experiences
08:35 Douglas' Recovery Journey
11:54 Douglas' Relationship and Marriage
17:07 The Un-Alone Club's Activities
21:00 Understanding Ego Dystonic and Pornography
21:27 Empowering vs. Disabling Labels
21:55 Guest Speakers and Diverse Perspectives
23:27 The Importance of Community
24:11 Pornography as a Symptom
24:55 Religious Perspectives on Pornography
29:20 The Power of Connection
29:57 Personal Stories and Experiences
35:45 Starting the Club and Its Impact
39:39 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

EP 197: Live Unashamed- How to Forgive Yourself

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 27 Jan 2026 06:00:00 -0700

Join the Unashamed Unafraid crew for a Live Unashamed episode where they openly discuss their experiences with sexual addiction, recovery, and the journey to self-forgiveness. Through heartfelt conversations, they explore the immense challenges of forgiving oneself despite being forgiven by others, the power of brotherhood and support, and how spirituality plays a crucial role in healing. Dive deep into personal stories, struggles, and moments of divine revelation that helped shape their paths to redemption. Whether you're in recovery or supporting someone who is, this episode is a powerful testament to the transformative power of grace and self-compassion.

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00:00 Introduction and Greetings
00:52 Discussing Self-Forgiveness
03:01 The Role of Brotherhood in Recovery
05:57 Personal Stories of Forgiveness
09:04 The Journey of Recovery
15:34 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

EP 196: Pxrn Coach with Austin Hamilton

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 20 Jan 2026 06:00:00 -0700

In this episode of Unashamed Unafraid, we delve deep into the journey of sexual addiction recovery with professional coach Austin Hamilton. Austin shares his personal story of overcoming pornography addiction and infidelity, emphasizing the importance of truth-telling and courage in the healing process. Highlighting how hidden struggles can impact relationships, Austin outlines his methods for guiding clients through recovery using story work, journaling, and compassionate self-reflection. Join us for an inspiring conversation on embracing vulnerability, understanding the roots of addiction, and fostering authentic connections. Don't miss valuable insights on how to live unashamed and unafraid.

To connect with Austin,
Website: pxrncoach.com

Email: hello@pxrncoach.com

Socials: @PxrnCoach on IG/TikTok/Facebook/YouTube

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00:00 Introduction and Podcast Anxiety
02:00 Introducing Austin Hamilton
02:47 Austin's Journey to Recovery
03:44 The Turning Point: D-Day
05:33 The Path to Healing and Courage
09:20 The Importance of Truth in Recovery
11:55 Navigating Post-Disclosure Challenges
13:54 The Role of Intimacy and Communication
21:27 Disclosure as a Lifestyle
23:59 Breaking a Promise on a Special Day
24:36 The Importance of Truth in Relationships
25:18 Diving into the Root of Issues
26:15 Understanding Childhood Influences
27:05 Healing Through Story Work
30:48 Behavior Modification and True Healing
41:26 The Power of Journaling
42:55 Creating a Safe Space for Sharing
45:33 The Role of Compassion in Recovery
48:06 Final Thoughts and Resources

EP 195: Live Unashamed- The Scariest Things About Being Unashamed

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 13 Jan 2026 06:00:00 -0700

In this episode of Live Unashamed, Sam, James, Joshua, and Chris discuss their daily struggles and steps taken to live unashamedly. From setting boundaries with close friends to grappling with honesty in social situations, the group shares their personal experiences. The conversation explores the hardest aspects of being open about addiction and recovery, the fear of judgment, and the importance of brotherhood. They also emphasize the significance of being transparent with loved ones and the ongoing journey of recovery. The episode ends with a call to action for listeners to share their own fears and experiences.

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00:00 Introduction and Roll Call
01:23 Living Unashamed: Personal Reflections
03:41 The Challenges of Honesty
09:22 Fear of Judgment and Recovery
11:26 Financial Transparency and Recovery
14:50 The Importance of Brotherhood
17:04 Listener Engagement and Conclusion

EP 194: Rick & Christine Dixon

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 06 Jan 2026 06:00:00 -0700

In this episode, we introduce Rick and Christine Dixon, owners of Renaissance Ranch, a mental health and substance addiction treatment center. The Dixons share their powerful story of overcoming addiction within their family, discussing their personal journeys, professional insights, and the critical role of family in the recovery process. They emphasize the importance of addressing shame, working the 12 steps, and fostering a supportive family environment. This episode offers hope, practical advice, and a testament to the miraculous transformations that can occur through recovery and faith.

To contact Christine, send her an email Cdixon@theeftclinic.com, Christine@renaissanceranch.com
Website: renaissanceranch.com

App with free classes and resources for individuals and families impacted by addiction: RR Family Program

Instagram and Facebook:

@renaissance_ranch (Men's Centers)

@renaissancerefuge (Women's Centers)

@renaissancefamilysupport (Family Program)

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00:00 Introduction to Unashamed Unafraid
01:57 Meet Rick and Christine Dixon
02:56 The Dixon Family's Journey Through Addiction
10:59 The Role of Shame in Addiction
13:41 The Importance of Family Recovery
17:54 Discovering the 12-Step Program
22:39 The Impact of Addiction on Family
22:52 The Journey to Recovery Begins
23:10 The Miracle of Change
25:44 Understanding Addiction as a Brain Disease
26:46 The Role of Family in Recovery
33:08 The Importance of Trust and Communication
36:11 Resources and Support for Families
44:32 The Power of Prayer and Hope
45:01 Conclusion and Call to Action

EP 193: Live Unashamed- How Can I Trust God?

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 30 Dec 2025 06:00:00 -0700

In this episode of 'Live Unashamed,' Sam introduces Mason, a close friend with a similar background, to discuss their shared experiences and the difficulties they've faced in connecting with a loving, non-transactional God. The conversation explores the challenge of reconciling a shame-based relationship with God, integrating genuine prayer, and finding peace in the midst of spiritual turmoil. Throughout the discussion, they emphasize the importance of understanding the true character of God and share personal experiences and strategies for deepening one's faith. The episode concludes with an invitation for listeners to contribute scriptures that reflect God's love and a special sermon by Graham Cook.

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00:00 Introduction and Welcome
01:28 Meet Mason: A Journey of Friendship and Similar Experiences
02:45 Struggles in Recovery and Faith
04:31 Deconstructing and Reconstructing Faith
05:58 Practical Steps to Reconnect with God
11:01 Overcoming the Try Harder Gospel
12:55 Connecting Through Scriptures
13:21 Rewiring Beliefs About God
14:20 Transformational Experiences
18:13 Rediscovering Prayer
20:22 Understanding God's True Character
25:07 Invitation to Share Scriptures
26:11 Final Thoughts and Community Engagement

EP 192: Anonymous Q&A

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 23 Dec 2025 06:00:00 -0700

In this engaging Q&A episode of Unashamed Unafraid, the hosts dive deep into various questions sent by listeners surrounding addiction, recovery, and spirituality. The discussion ranges from whether God withholds recovery to teach lessons, to healthy masturbation, and coping mechanisms. They also address difficult topics like coping with pornography addiction while having autism, and the realistic timelines for a successful recovery journey. Tune in for an insightful and honest conversation aimed at tackling tough questions and fostering deeper understanding.

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00:00 Introduction and Q&A Revival
01:57 Deep Dive: God's Role in Addiction Recovery
04:36 Exploring the Nature of God
07:38 Philosophical Reflections on Suffering and Faith
10:18 Next Question: Masturbation Discussion
10:53 Healthy Masturbation: Perspectives and Debates
15:38 Personal Experiences and Recovery Insights
22:09 Exploring Underlying Emotions and Sexual Shame
23:07 Healthy Masturbation: Individualized Perspectives
23:18 Listener Engagement and Questions
24:12 Navigating Sexuality and Church Teachings
30:16 Understanding Autism and Addiction
34:47 Balancing Relationships and Recovery
39:12 Realistic Timelines for Recovery
45:20 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

EP 191: Live Unashamed- My Worst Moments in Recovery

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 16 Dec 2025 06:00:00 -0700

In this deeply moving episode of Unashamed Unafraid, Chris and Sam discuss some of their worst moments in recovery, confronting actions driven by addiction and the deep shame associated with them. They share personal stories of betrayal, lying, and the immense pain caused to loved ones. Through these confessions, they aim to provide a voice of compassion, understanding, and hope for those struggling with addiction. Tune in to hear how they have worked through their darkest moments, made amends, and found grace and redemption on their journey to recovery.

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00:00 Welcome
00:36 Ashamed and Afraid
01:09 Worst Moments in Recovery
02:22 College Confession
06:28 Making Amends
07:12 Lies and Betrayal
09:32 Blaming Others
14:55 Compassion and Acceptance
18:14 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

EP 190: Kyle & Madison's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 09 Dec 2025 06:00:00 -0700

In this heartfelt episode of Unashamed Unafraid, join hosts as they sit down with Kyle and Madison, a couple who bravely share their journey through Kyle's pornography addiction and their path to recovery. From childhood struggles to marital challenges, Kyle and Madison discuss the impact of addiction, the importance of honesty, and the role of faith in their healing process. They candidly talk about the hurdles they've faced, the steps they've taken to rebuild trust, and how they found hope. Their story serves as a powerful testament to the power of vulnerability, resilience, and the commitment to walking the path of recovery together. Don't miss this inspiring conversation that sheds light on the realities of addiction and the possibilities for renewal.

*To connect with Kyle & Madison, visit their Instagram & TikTok

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00:00 Introduction
01:51 Early Childhood and Family Dynamics
05:33 First Encounters with Pornography
06:28 Struggles and Secrecy in Adolescence
08:18 Marriage and Escalation of Addiction
09:32 Discovery and Confrontation
10:20 Attempts at Recovery and Relapse
16:28 Creating a Safe Space for Honesty
19:23 Personal Experiences and Empathy
20:43 Steps Towards Healing and Faith
21:24 The Power of Honesty in Recovery
22:17 Struggles and Setbacks in the Journey
26:15 Sharing the Journey on Social Media
27:59 Viral Moments and Public Reactions
35:55 The Role of Faith in Recovery
38:27 Ongoing Recovery and Future Goals
41:10 Concluding Thoughts and Reflections

EP 189: Live Unashamed- Finding Your Own Recovery

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 02 Dec 2025 06:00:00 -0700

In this episode, hosts delve deep into the unique journeys of personal recovery. They discuss the diverse paths different individuals take towards recovery, emphasizing that what works for one person may not necessarily work for another. They explore different camps such as trauma, therapy, church, and the 12 Steps program, and stress the importance of finding a personal approach to recovery. With heartfelt conversations and personal anecdotes, this episode encourages viewers to identify what truly works for them and persist through the challenging recovery process. Don't miss this inspiring and honest discussion on forging your own path to recovery.

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00:00 Welcome to Live Unashamed
00:37 Introducing the Topic: Finding Your Own Recovery
01:08 Different Paths to Recovery
03:03 The Importance of Personalizing Recovery
04:15 Finding the Right Therapist
08:13 Making Hard Choices in Recovery
11:51 Implementing Effective Systems
12:54 Involving God in Recovery
16:13 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

EP 188: Duncan & Gina's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 25 Nov 2025 06:00:00 -0700

In this episode, hosts Chris and Sam welcome Duncan and Gina, authors of the book 'Lower the Bar.' They share their personal journey through Duncan's struggle with pornography addiction, Gina's involvement in his recovery, and how they co-authored their book. They discuss the importance of openness and transparency in their relationship, the evolution of Duncan's addiction, and the steps they took towards healing. Highlights include Duncan's battle with addiction, the turning points in their journey, emotional challenges, and how they ultimately found strength in each other. Gina emphasizes the significance of messy conversations and mutual support in overcoming obstacles. The episode concludes with a special song, Duncan's original piano composition 'Creation,' which symbolizes their story of resilience and rebirth.

To connect with Duncan email: LowerTheBarBook@gmail.com, visit his website: https://lowerthebarbook.com/, buy his book on Amazon: https://amzn.to/4nizAaB

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00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction
00:53 Writing 'Lower the Bar'
02:39 Duncan's Early Life and First Encounter with Pornography
05:14 The Formation of Addiction
11:47 Gina's Background and Relationship with God
16:19 Dating, Marriage, and Disclosure
20:48 Struggles and Confessions
21:35 Marriage Challenges and Infidelity
23:03 Addiction and Recovery Journey
27:16 Emotional Affairs and Business Struggles
35:16 Counseling and Healing
44:06 Final Reflections and Original Song

EP 187: Live Unashamed- Do the Work

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 18 Nov 2025 06:00:00 -0700

In this episode of Live Unashamed, Sam shares his personal struggles with the fear of 'doing the work,' fueled by shame and external pressures to perform. The conversation explores the importance of creating safety, setting personal goals, and building effective systems to maintain sobriety. Chris underscores the significance of consistency and the power of support networks in the journey toward recovery. Whether you're battling addiction or looking for motivation to make positive changes in your life, this episode offers invaluable insights and practical advice.

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00:00 Introduction
00:56 The Struggle with Shame and Recovery
02:08 Personal Experiences and Insights
06:51 The Importance of Doing the Work
09:40 Creating Safety and Support Systems
13:43 Conclusion

EP 186: Trauma Sensitive Recovery with Jeni Brockbank

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 11 Nov 2025 06:00:00 -0700

In this episode of Unashamed Unafraid, we are joined by Jeni Brockbank, Executive Director of H.E.R. Wings Unfold, founder of T.S. 12 Anon and the lead host of Relational Trauma SOS. Jeni shares her journey through relational trauma and recovery, providing insights into the importance of addressing deeper issues such as trauma and abandonment in addiction recovery. Jeni discusses her innovative trauma-sensitive 12-step program designed to meet people where they are in their recovery journey. She emphasizes the necessity of creating safety and stabilization, processing grief and mourning, and integrating and growing from these experiences. Jeni also talks about the unique aspects of her program, the importance of community support, and her personal experiences that led her to this work. This episode offers valuable perspectives for those struggling with addiction, betrayal trauma, or supporting loved ones through recovery.

*You can connect with Jeni & her resources here:

herwingsunfold.org

ts12anon.org

Insta: https://www.instagram.com/herwingsunfold?igsh=MWhnd2xuMjIycHhjeQ%3D%3D&utm_source=qr

FB: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61578036710116

Relational Trauma SOS Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/21XenP3oY0bvBGayYaOzcx?si=7bdf5991912c44a3

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00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction
00:55 Personal Reflections on Addiction and Recovery
02:23 Discussion on Relational Trauma and Broader Audience
05:24 Jeni's Background and Journey
07:22 Challenges and Insights in Traditional Recovery Programs
09:54 Developing a Trauma-Sensitive 12-Step Program
18:56 Incorporating Prayer and Silence in Meetings
21:21 Adapting Spiritual Language for Inclusivity
22:43 Balancing Feedback and Original Intent
23:19 The Importance of Safe Spaces in Recovery
27:20 Trauma-Informed Language in Recovery Programs
29:46 Stages of Trauma Recovery
36:02 The Rest Process: An Alternative to Surrender
38:18 Personal Reflections and Program Impact
39:33 Conclusion and Call to Action

EP 185: Live Unashamed- Finding a Relationship with God Through Recovery

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 04 Nov 2025 06:00:00 -0700

In this episode of Live Unashamed, Sam and James delve into personal battles with shame, insecurities, and addiction. Sam shares his journey of overcoming his fears of inadequacy to take over the podcast, while he discusses his struggles with pornography addiction and how his relationship with God has played a crucial role in his healing process. They emphasize the importance of viewing God as a relational being rather than a transactional one, and explore how faith, reliance on God, and embracing discomfort can lead to personal growth and recovery. Join them in this candid and inspiring conversation and learn how to live unashamed.

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00:00 Introduction and Greetings
00:43 Overcoming Insecurities and Fears
02:10 The Power of Prayer and Relationship with God
02:24 Struggles with Addiction and Recovery
04:34 Understanding God's Role in Our Lives
05:41 The Concept of Relying on God
07:19 Transactional vs. Relational View of God
13:59 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

EP 184: Unhooked with Jeremy Lipkowitz

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 28 Oct 2025 06:00:00 -0600

In this episode of Unashamed Unafraid, join us as we delve into the journey of Jeremy Lipkowitz, an ICF certified coach and meditation teacher, who shares his personal battle with porn addiction. Jeremy explores the root causes of addiction, the impact it had on his life, and how mindfulness and meditation played a vital role in his recovery. Through his story, learn about the power of awareness, the importance of self-compassion, and the concept of equanimity. Whether you are struggling with addiction or simply seeking a more fulfilling life, Jeremy’s insights offer valuable guidance. Tune in to discover how breaking free from addiction is about leading a life of integrity, peace, and gratitude.

*Connect with Jeremy here:
Website: https://www.jeremylipkowitz.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jeremylipkowitz/

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@JeremyLipkowitz

Podcast: https://open.spotify.com/show/7rdPRXvg3tY93PVE7tleSA?si=1b4bf713145d48f7

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00:00 Introduction to Unashamed Unafraid Podcast
01:06 Jeremy Lipkowitz's Personal Journey with Porn Addiction
03:05 Understanding the Roots of Addiction
05:04 The Subtle Harms of Pornography
08:00 A Secular Approach to Recovery
10:06 Mindfulness and Meditation in Recovery
18:51 The Practice of Equanimity
20:27 Challenges and Rewards of Mindfulness
22:40 Understanding Momentum and Mindfulness
25:03 The Realm of the Hungry Ghosts
27:25 Mindfulness Training and Practices
31:57 The Power of Self-Compassion
37:04 Professional Journey and Resources
40:26 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

EP 183: Live Unashamed- When Support Becomes Codependent

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 21 Oct 2025 06:00:00 -0600

In this episode of Live Unashamed, the hosts dive deep into the complexities of codependency and support in relationships. Josh shares his personal journey of recovery and the challenges he faced in understanding the balance between supporting his wife and being codependent. The conversation shifts to the guests discussing their own experiences and strategies for maintaining honesty and connection while avoiding the pitfalls of self-abandonment and manipulation. Key insights include the importance of self-awareness, honest communication, and understanding one's motivations in acts of support. The episode concludes with a call to viewers to share their thoughts and experiences on the subject.

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00:00 Introduction to Unashamed Live
01:00 Discussing Codependency in Relationships
02:49 Navigating Support and Codependence
06:43 Personal Stories and Reflections
08:33 Understanding Self-Abandonment
16:01 Final Thoughts and Takeaways
16:39 Closing Remarks and Contact Information

EP 182: Forgotten in the Battle with Roxanna Johnson

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 14 Oct 2025 06:00:00 -0600

Join us in this powerful episode of Unashamed Unafraid where we talk with Roxanna Johnson, the author of 'Forgotten in the Battle with Sexual Addiction: The Journey of a Spouse.' Roxy opens up about her personal experiences with her late husband's sexual addiction and the profound impact it had on her life. She shares insights from her book, explaining how she navigated betrayal trauma, found healing, and learned to set boundaries. Roxy also discusses the importance of finding oneself, understanding the influence of trauma, and the pivotal role of community and therapy in recovery. Whether you're a spouse dealing with addiction in your family or someone supporting a loved one, Roxy's story is filled with valuable lessons and hope. Don't miss this heartfelt and inspiring episode.

*Check out Roxy's book on Amazon
To connect with Roxy, send her an email: roxyj16@gmail.com or visit her Website, Facebook and Instagram

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00:00 Introduction
01:27 Meet Roxy
01:53 Roxy's Journey: From Loss to Writing
04:59 The Bombshell: Discovering the Truth
09:02 The Path to Recovery: Challenges and Triumphs
10:43 Spirituality and Healing
15:08 Addressing Misconceptions and Finding Support
19:27 Forgiveness and Moving Forward
21:57 Jack's Struggle with Addiction
24:04 Rediscovering Myself Through Recovery
25:03 Finding Joy and Hobbies
27:00 Learning to Surrender
28:14 Supporting a Spouse in Addiction
30:38 Understanding Betrayal Trauma
33:14 Healing and Human Connection
39:27 The Role of Agency in Marriage
43:56 Final Thoughts and Contact Information

EP 181: Live Unashamed- What I'm Most Proud of in Recovery

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 07 Oct 2025 06:00:00 -0600

Join us for another Live Unashamed episode, as we talk about the importance of self-compassion and taking pride in your recovery journey. James shares his experience about being unashamed of his story and how self-compassion has played a pivotal role in his recovery. The team also discusses key moments from their own journeys, including revelations about emotional transparency, honesty, and the significance of changing one's identity as a part of recovery. Dive into this heartfelt conversation that underscores the power of vulnerability and self-acceptance in overcoming addiction.

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00:00 Introduction
00:59 Recovery Journey
01:34 Anchor Points in Recovery
02:46 Proud Moments in Recovery
05:07 Identity Change and Recovery
08:42 Emotional Vulnerability and Warrior Heart Bootcamp
13:02 Honesty and Transparency in Relationships
14:51 Conclusion and Encouragement

EP 180: Unashamed Guidebook

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 30 Sep 2025 06:00:00 -0600

In this episode of Unashamed Unafraid, Sam, James, Steve and Ian discuss the imminent release of the new Unashamed Guidebook, a comprehensive recovery tool that integrates principles from therapy, church support, and peer-facilitated groups. They share personal anecdotes and insights into recovery, highlighting the importance of safety, community, and individualized approaches to healing. The episode emphasizes the guidebook's collaborative creation, featuring contributions from various recovery experts and emphasizes its unique, self-guided process. Listeners are invited to pilot the guidebook and share their experiences to enhance its effectiveness.

*If you want to pilot test the guidebook, send an email to Steven@unashamedunafraid.com and/or James@unashamedunafraid.com

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00:00 Introduction
01:01 Shoe Story and Hacks
02:24 Returning to the Podcast
03:18 Marriage and Personal Updates
03:51 The Unashamed Guidebook
05:09 Therapy and Recovery Insights
07:11 Guidebook Development and Collaboration
16:08 Experiences and Personal Growth
22:54 Learning from Josh: Transformative Experiences
23:52 The Importance of Safety in Recovery
24:51 Personalizing the Recovery Journey
27:27 Challenges and Criticisms in Recovery Approaches
30:21 The Role of Community and Shared Stories
33:55 Unifying Different Recovery Camps
37:36 Invitation to Pilot the Guidebook
43:06 Closing Remarks and Call to Action

EP 179: Live Unashamed- Navigating Family Dysfunction

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 23 Sep 2025 06:00:00 -0600

In this episode of Live Unashamed, the hosts discuss personal experiences and strategies for navigating family dysfunction and setting healthy boundaries. They explore the challenges of breaking away from codependency, making requests for change, and the critical difference between a request and a boundary. Through heartfelt anecdotes and candid conversations, they offer insights into maintaining self-respect and fostering healthier relationships without cutting off family ties entirely. The episode emphasizes the importance of teaching others how to treat you and the empowerment that comes from having hard conversations within familial dynamics.

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00:00 Welcome to Unashamed Unafraid
01:12 Navigating Family Dysfunction
03:41 Setting Boundaries vs. Making Requests
06:03 Balancing Relationships and Boundaries
12:54 Grieving and Creating Healthy Relationships
20:38 Final Thoughts and Listener Engagement

EP 178: Bryce's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 16 Sep 2025 06:00:00 -0600

In this powerful episode of Unashamed Unafraid, Bryce shares his heart-wrenching yet hopeful story of battling addiction and his journey toward recovery. Bryce discusses the early signs of his addiction, the discomfort and shame that accompanied it, and how it escalated during his adulthood. After facing legal consequences and deep personal relationships struggles, Bryce experienced a profound awakening that sparked significant changes in his life. From adopting a committed daily routine to finding solace in honesty and community, Bryce's journey underscores the importance of persistence, spirituality, and support in the path to recovery. Join us for an inspiring discussion on overcoming shame, embracing vulnerability, and the commitment to lifelong recovery.

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00:00 Introduction and Welcome
01:11 Early Life and Onset of Addiction
02:13 Struggles with Lust and Secrecy
03:06 Marriage and Escalation of Addiction
07:26 Arrests and Consequences
11:38 Attempts at Recovery and Relapse
17:54 Rebuilding Relationships and Moving Forward
21:21 A Story of Recovery and Repair
22:37 Personal Transformation and Self-Acceptance
24:15 Making Amends and Building Community
27:41 Daily Practices for Sustained Recovery
31:25 The Role of Honesty and Trust in Recovery
33:42 Spiritual Growth and Divine Assistance
38:18 Final Reflections and Encouragement

EP 177: Live Unashamed- Why Sobriety Is More Than Avoiding Porn

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 09 Sep 2025 06:00:00 -0600

In this episode of 'Unashamed Unafraid,' join hosts Chris, Jason, and Sam as they discuss the challenges and triumphs of sobriety and recovery. Sam shares his personal struggles and breakthroughs in dealing with pain and addiction, while Chris and Jason offer valuable insights on emotional awareness and meeting unmet needs. This intimate and powerful conversation is a must-watch for anyone seeking healing and a deeper connection with themselves and God.

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00:00 Welcome and Introductions
00:53 Late Night Recording Vibes
01:19 YouTube and Social Media Engagement
03:04 Struggles with Sobriety
04:42 Dealing with Pain and Emotions
07:24 Meeting Emotional Needs
16:40 Focusing on Connection and Recovery
19:47 Closing Thoughts and Call to Action

EP 176: Shirley's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 02 Sep 2025 06:00:00 -0600

In this powerful episode of Unashamed Unafraid, hosts Sam and Chris sit down with Shirley and Mike to explore Shirley's journey through a difficult childhood, marked by addiction and dysfunction. Shirley shares her raw and emotional story of growing up in a challenging family environment, her battles with sexual addiction, and the transformative power of faith in her life. Supported by her husband Mike, Shirley reveals the steps she took to find healing and a renewed relationship with God. This episode touches on themes of resilience, recovery, and the importance of community support. Tune in to hear how Shirley navigated her path from chaos to clarity, offering hope and inspiration to others who might be facing similar struggles.

*To connect with Shirley, email her at: reachout4wellness@outlook.com

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00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction
01:03 Shirley's Early Life and Family Background
03:03 Struggles with Religion and Family Dynamics
06:35 Early Signs of Addiction and Self-Esteem Issues
11:15 Marriage, Infidelity, and Realization of Addiction
15:32 Seeking Help and Spiritual Experiences
22:15 Reflecting on Personal Struggles
22:29 Overcoming Masturbation Addiction
23:46 Support from a Loving Husband
25:19 Healing Through Nature and Adventures
26:39 Spiritual Growth and Church Involvement
27:47 Breast Cancer as a Turning Point
29:18 The Power of Poetry in Recovery
37:09 Advice for Those Struggling with Addiction
39:51 A Song That Represents Recovery
41:11 Closing Remarks and Encouragement

EP 175: Live Unashamed- Things I Wish I Knew About Sex

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 26 Aug 2025 06:00:00 -0600

In this episode, Sam is joined by Chris and Jason to discuss a crucial and often uncomfortable topic: sex education and the impact of childhood experiences on our adult lives. The hosts open up about their personal journeys and how parental approaches shaped their understanding of sex. They emphasize the importance of ongoing, shame-free conversations with children about sex, sexuality, and related topics like pornography and masturbation. Join the conversation and discover how to create a healthier, shame-free environment for discussing sexuality.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome
00:53 Childhood Experiences and Sex Education
03:48 Parenting Approaches to Sex Education
05:31 Personal Stories and Reflections
13:15 Therapeutic Insights and Healing
19:59 Final Thoughts and Community Engagement

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EP 174: Josh & Kaleigh's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 19 Aug 2025 06:00:00 -0600

In this heartfelt episode of Unashamed Unafraid, meet Josh and Kaleigh as they share their powerful journey through addiction, healing, and recovery. Listen to their inspiring stories of battling pornography addiction, contending with shame, and rediscovering hope through faith and community. This episode delves into their initial meeting, struggling with secrets, and ultimately finding a path to recovery and a stronger relationship with God and each other. Join us for an inspiring conversation filled with authenticity, vulnerability, and hope.

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00:00 Introduction and Special Guests
01:00 Meeting Josh and Kaleigh
03:29 Kaleigh's Childhood and Relationship with God
05:32 Josh's Struggles with Pornography
14:56 Dating and Marriage Challenges
20:32 Facing the Truth: The Struggle with Honesty
23:03 The Weight of Responsibility: Misguided Advice
25:17 Hitting Rock Bottom: A Night of Desperation
31:03 The Turning Point: Finding Hope in Recovery
34:54 Rebuilding Together: The Journey of Healing
37:54 Embracing Faith: A New Path Forward
44:26 Final Reflections: Messages of Hope

EP 173: Live Unashamed- Connection & Accountability

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 12 Aug 2025 06:00:00 -0600

Join us in this episode of Live Unashamed as we have an in-depth conversation on accountability and connection. Hosts Sam, Chris and Josh, dive into the importance of being accountable, recognizing triggers, and the balance between shame and pride. They discuss the essential elements of accountability—authenticity, action, and amends. Tune in to learn how vulnerability and proactive reporting can transform the recovery journey. Don't miss their personal commitment to connect with others during his negotiation moments and discover powerful ways to escape shame.

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00:00 Welcome and Introductions
01:37 Discussing Accountability in Recovery
05:07 The Role of Vulnerability
05:45 Authenticity, Action, and Amends
08:33 Personal Experiences and Insights
16:09 Commitments and Closing Remarks

EP 172: Jon's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 05 Aug 2025 06:00:00 -0600

In this episode of the Unashamed Unafraid podcast, hosts engage in a heartfelt conversation with Jon, a brave guest who candidly shares his battle with addiction, the impact on his family, and his journey towards recovery. Jon details how his struggle with pornography and sex addiction began in his youth, how it escalated over time, and the toll it took on his self-worth and relationships. Through his story, he emphasizes the transformative power of connection with God and others, and the importance of shared experiences in finding hope. With raw honesty, Jon recounts his setbacks, the moments of grace from his family, and the vital support he found through various recovery programs. This episode is a powerful testament to the possibility of redemption and the enduring hope that comes from faith and community.

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00:00 Introduction
01:54 Jon's Journey Begins
02:31 Struggles with Addiction
03:23 Seeking Help and Support
08:57 Mission and Marriage
11:56 Relapse and Consequences
14:32 Facing the Truth
19:40 A Night of Revelation
20:15 Seeking Help and Support
21:01 Struggles and Relapses
22:09 A Glimmer of Hope
23:46 Falling Back Again
26:17 The Breaking Point
31:49 Finding True Recovery
35:56 Rebuilding and Moving Forward
37:19 Final Thoughts and Reflections

EP 171: Live Unashamed- Shame Adventures

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 29 Jul 2025 06:00:00 -0600

Join us as we discuss the concept of 'Shame Adventures' and how to combat shame during recovery. In this episode, we share hilarious and heartfelt stories, including childhood pranks and the journey to develop 'shame resilience.' Our conversation explores how to turn the difficult process of dealing with shame into a thrilling adventure, inspired by Indiana Jones, and how this mindset shift can lead to personal freedom and growth. Learn practical steps to identify and challenge shame, embrace vulnerability, and enhance your journey toward recovery. Tune in for insights, personal stories, and an invitation to embark on your own 'Shame Adventure.'

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00:00 Introduction and Childhood Story
01:52 Introducing the Concept of Shame Adventures
02:43 Personal Experiences with Shame Adventures
04:17 Insights and Lessons Learned
14:09 Practical Steps to Combat Shame
19:27 Encouragement and Conclusion

EP 170: Living Proof with Danny Deaton

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 22 Jul 2025 06:00:00 -0600

In this episode of Unashamed Unafraid, hosts Sam and James welcome Danny Deaton, the owner of 'Your Living Proof'. Danny shares his powerful story of addiction, recovery, and divine intervention. From battling pornography and substance abuse to experiencing a transformative moment of family support, Danny's journey emphasizes the critical role of community and family in overcoming addiction. He discusses the progressive nature of addictions, the stigma surrounding them, and the importance of having a robust support system. Danny also talks about the comprehensive family-focused recovery program he developed, 'Your Living Proof,' which empowers families to effectively intervene and support their loved ones through recovery. Tune in to hear Danny's inspiring journey and his mission to help others find their path to healing.

*To connect with Danny, visit His website, Program for Families, Free Masterclass, Social Media, Podcast on Youtube, Podcast on Apple

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00:00 Introduction
01:08 Danny Deaton's Journey to Recovery
04:13 The Impact of Addiction on Life and Relationships
10:37 The Role of Family and Community in Recovery
16:36 Overcoming Stigma and Sharing Stories
23:43 Creating 'Your Living Proof' and Helping Families
28:11 Rising Voyeurism Charges and Family Impact
28:21 Support Groups for Families of Addicts
28:52 Understanding the Emotional Toll on Families
30:03 The Importance of Intervention and Boundaries
33:33 Reclaiming Agency Through Surrender
36:09 The Role of Community in Recovery
44:23 Challenges Families Face in Seeking Help
49:14 Resources and Support for Families
54:11 Final Thoughts and Encouragement

EP 169: Live Unashamed- The Hardest Part of Recovery

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 15 Jul 2025 06:00:00 -0600

In this heartfelt episode, Sam, James, and Chris discuss the challenges of navigating the internet, dealing with clickbait, and the difficulties they face in their recovery journey. They dive deep into the struggles of being honest with themselves and others, sharing personal stories and the impact of honesty on their relationships. They also touch on feelings of imposter syndrome and the pressure to appear perfect while battling addiction. Join the conversation as they encourage authenticity and share the importance of being human in recovery.

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00:00 Introduction and Clickbait Frustrations
02:03 The Struggle with Honesty in Recovery
04:00 Daily Check-ins and the Challenge of Transparency
06:54 Imposter Syndrome and Emotional Vulnerability
13:05 The Importance of Self-Love and Acceptance
16:20 Encouragement and Call to Action

EP 168: Jason's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 08 Jul 2025 06:00:00 -0600

In this episode of Unashamed Unafraid, Jason shares his incredible journey from addiction to recovery. Host Sam and co-host Chris delve into Jason's struggles with sexual and substance addictions, his turning point when he discovered he would become a father, and the profound spiritual and emotional transformations that followed. Jason also discusses founding Brick House Recovery and writing his bestselling book 'Unhooked: How to Help an Addicted Loved One Recover.' This powerful episode is filled with raw honesty, inspiring insights, and a message of hope for anyone facing similar battles.

*To connect with Jason, visit his website and check out his book on Amazon!

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00:00 Introduction
01:10 Meet Jason
02:18 Jason's Background and Struggles
05:32 The Turning Point
14:07 The Path to Recovery
35:44 Life After Addiction
41:52 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

EP 167: Live Unashamed- Finding Purpose in Addiction & Recovery

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 01 Jul 2025 06:00:00 -0600

In this episode, Chris, James, and Sam discuss their personal journeys in finding purpose and overcoming addiction. They dive into deeper conversations about sobriety, battling addiction, and the significance of having a purpose in life. Chris shares his transformative experience and how finding purpose through his faith and recovery community helped him stay sober. Sam reflects on his struggle with finding joy and purpose in his work and life. The episode emphasizes the importance of giving back, connecting with others, and finding meaningful pursuits to live a fulfilling and healthy life.

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00:00 Introduction
02:54 Purpose in Addiction and Recovery
06:10 Finding Joy and Purpose in Life
08:57 Brotherhood and Recovery
12:24 Sharing Stories and Providing Hope
15:40 Conclusion and Call to Action

EP 166: Roland's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 24 Jun 2025 06:00:00 -0600

In this episode of Unashamed Unafraid, hosts Chris and Sam sit down with Roland as he shares his poignant journey of living a double life, challenging his faith, and struggling with process addiction. Roland talks about growing up in a strict religious environment, questioning beliefs at a young age, and the impact of living a double life. He dives into how his need for validation and admiration led to compulsive behaviors that eventually resulted in a traumatic arrest at 14. Roland unpacks the concept of process addiction, explaining the necessity of addressing the underlying desire for validation rather than treating it as a typical addiction. He also discusses his path to recovery and the creation of his treatment program for high-achieving men, 'Successful Addict.' Roland emphasizes the importance of legacy, spirituality, and redefining what true admiration and respect mean in overcoming addiction. This episode provides deep insights into the challenges of process addiction and offers hope and practical advice for those struggling with similar issues.

*To connect with Roland, visit his website, check out his book on Amazon, and listen to his podcast!

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00:00 Introduction
00:51 Roland's Early Life and Faith Struggles
01:54 Living a Double Life
02:19 Questioning Religious Beliefs
05:08 Impact of Faith on Addiction
06:40 Understanding Compulsive Behaviors
08:04 Arrest and Its Aftermath
10:16 Hiding the Secret and Seeking Validation
14:06 Process Addictions and Seeking Attention
16:49 Path to Recovery and Redefining Admiration
20:40 The Shift from Addiction to Sobriety
21:23 Normalization and Society's Influence
23:55 The Role of Legacy in Sobriety
25:08 Spirituality and Recovery
28:30 Understanding Process Addiction
32:44 The Successful Addict Program
35:33 Final Thoughts and Resources
39:32 A Song of Hope and Connection

EP 165: Live Unashamed- Trauma in Addiction Recovery

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 17 Jun 2025 06:00:00 -0600

Join us as we dive deep into the intricate connections between trauma and addiction. In this episode, James, Sam, and Chris discuss their personal experiences with trauma work, its impact on recovery, and how identifying and addressing underlying trauma can help in overcoming compulsive behaviors. This insightful conversation sheds light on the importance of understanding emotional needs, the process of healing, and the journey to living a more balanced and fulfilling life. Don't miss out on these powerful stories and the valuable lessons learned along the way.

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EP 164: Matthew & Joanna's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 10 Jun 2025 06:00:00 -0600

Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith are clinicians, speakers, and authors of the book Building True Intimacy: Creating a Connection that Stands the Test of Time. They have over 20 years of combined experience in counseling, coaching, and guiding couples toward healing and transformation. Their mission is to help couples navigate the complexities of relational challenges, particularly in the aftermath of sexual addiction and betrayal trauma, fostering deep restoration and growth.
Sam and Chris interview Matthew and Joanna about their 12-year journey from personal crisis to professional careers helping couples recover from addiction and betrayal. The couple recounts their early struggles, how addiction and infidelity impacted their marriage, and the pivotal moments that set them on a path to recovery. They discuss the development of their intimacy framework, 'The Intimacy Pyramid,' which guides couples from honesty to a deeply connected relationship. The dialogue underscores the role of faith, the importance of mutual honesty and trust, and the hard work necessary for relational healing.

*To connect with Matthew & Joanna, visit raabsmithteam.com

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00:00 Introduction and Welcome
01:03 Meet Matthew and Joanna
01:20 The Journey of Recovery
02:14 Early Marriage Struggles
04:28 The Turning Point
06:12 Confession and Recovery
07:25 Faith and Ministry Challenges
16:04 Building Honesty and Safety
21:59 Building Trust in Relationships
22:47 The Role of Vulnerability
25:00 Achieving Intimacy
26:31 The Journey of Healing
29:20 Steps to Rebuild Trust
37:48 The Importance of Self-Regulation
39:57 Resources and Support for Couples

EP 163: Live Unashamed- Hitting Rock Bottom

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 03 Jun 2025 06:00:00 -0600

In this episode, James, Chris and Sam discuss the transformative power of hope in overcoming addiction. They share personal stories of hitting rock bottom due to pornography addiction and codependent relationships, and how these low points led to pivotal changes in their journey to recovery. Emphasis is placed on the importance of finding a hopeful vision for a better life, engaging in genuine self-reflection, and relying on supportive resources and faith. The episode encourages listeners to see their potential for change and recovery, emphasizing that transformative identity shifts are key to overcoming addiction and finding true healing.

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EP 162: Ryan & Kelce's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 27 May 2025 06:00:00 -0600

In this heartfelt episode of 'Unashamed Unafraid,' hosts Sam and James sit down with Ryan and Kelce to discuss their deeply personal journey through pornography addiction and the trials it brought into their marriage. Ryan recounts his early exposure to pornography, the secrecy around his addiction, and the turning point that led to his decision to seek recovery. Kelce shares her initial shock, her decision to stay, and their joint path toward healing. Together, they highlight the key tools and support systems, including church programs and therapy, that have helped them rebuild trust and create deeper intimacy. Their story is a testament to the power of vulnerability, communication, and the unyielding support they found in each other and their faith. Join us for a powerful conversation about overcoming addiction and fostering genuine connections.

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00:00 Introduction and Welcome
00:57 Meet Ryan and Kelce
01:28 Ryan's Early Exposure to Pornography
02:04 Kelce's Perspective and Early Marriage
02:34 Communication Challenges in Marriage
04:13 Ryan's Struggle with Addiction
13:41 The Turning Point: D-Day
17:46 The Unexpected Bombshell
18:22 Kelce's Emotional Response
20:22 Finding Support and Guidance
21:45 The Role of Addiction Recovery Programs
24:27 Navigating Recovery Together
29:17 Tools and Skills for Managing Emotions
33:22 Final Reflections and Hope

EP 161: Live Unashamed- Negotiating with my Addiction

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 20 May 2025 06:00:00 -0600

Join Sam, Chris, and James as they candidly discuss the concept of 'negotiating with your addiction.' They dive into personal stories and practical strategies for maintaining strict boundaries to foster long-term recovery. Topics include recognizing subtle forms of addiction, setting and respecting personal boundaries, and the significance of building a track record of sobriety. Learn the secret to overcoming compulsive behaviors and play it through to manage addiction effectively.

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EP 160: Healing from Betrayal with Dr. Heidi Hastings

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 13 May 2025 06:00:00 -0600

In this episode of Unashamed Unafraid, Dr. Heidi Hastings, a marriage and sex researcher with a PhD, discusses her research focused on religious women and the impact of their husband's pornography use on their sexuality and spirituality. Through her studies, which include Christian, Jewish, and Muslim women, Dr. Hastings identifies five stages of betrayal trauma: innocence, crisis, aftermath, healing, and transformation. She explains how these stages align with identity development theories and shares key insights on how betrayed women navigate these stages, the importance of female support, and how individuals can heal and transform through understanding and redefining their identity. The episode also touches on how religious leaders can better support betrayed women and provides advice for parents on empowering their daughters. Dr. Hastings emphasizes the eventual deepening of trust and relationship with Jesus Christ as a pivotal element in the healing journey.

*To connect with Heidi visit, drheidihastings.com, follow her on Social Media @Marriage.IQ.

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EP 159: Live Unashamed- Dating Unashamed

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 06 May 2025 06:00:00 -0600

In this episode of 'Live Unashamed,' hosts Chris, Sam, and Liam dive into the complexities of dating while struggling with addiction, especially pornography. They share personal anecdotes and strategies on when and how to disclose these struggles to potential partners. The conversation touches on why it's important to be transparent before exclusive dating, the complications of living a double life, and the necessity of seeking validation from God rather than a partner. The hosts emphasize the significance of honesty, recovery, and personal worth in navigating relationships.

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EP 158: Johnny & Emily's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 29 Apr 2025 06:00:00 -0600

Join us in this powerful episode where Johnny and Emily candidly share their journey through the devastating impacts of porn addiction on their marriage. From Johnny's early struggles with pornography to the heart-wrenching moments of disclosure, and finally to their inspiring recovery, they discuss how faith, honesty, and community support brought them closer to each other and to God. Tune in for an emotional and raw conversation filled with valuable insights and hope for anyone battling similar struggles.
Johnny and Emily have been married since 1987 and have 3 adult children and 5 grandchildren. After the first 31 years, Johnny’s infidelity fueled by pornography came to light and their marriage was shattered into dust. With God’s help, they both decided to stay married, and embarked on a journey of healing and restoration.

*Ways to connect with Johnny & Emily:
Podcast Beyond Broken Vows Podcast

Website beyondbrokenvows.com

Email support@beyondbrokenvows.com

Newsletter sign up - insider.beyondbrokenvows.com

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EP 157: Live Unashamed- Avoiding Abusive Self Talk

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 22 Apr 2025 06:00:00 -0600

In this episode, Chris and Sam engage in a deep conversation about overcoming abusive self-talk and shame. They share personal experiences and strategies to combat feelings of inadequacy and low self-worth, emphasizing the importance of changing one's identity and finding validation through a relationship with God. They discuss the impact of shame messages from childhood and how true behavior change stems from identity change. The episode also highlights how important it is to let go of negative self-perceptions and embrace the love and support offered by God and loved ones.

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EP 156: Matt & Tracy's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 15 Apr 2025 06:00:00 -0600

In this heartfelt episode, Matt and Tracy share their deeply personal journey of battling and overcoming pornography addiction. From early encounters with pornography and the challenges of maintaining secrecy, Matt opens up about his struggles and the impact on his faith and marriage. Tracy provides insight into her emotional turmoil and the steps she took towards her own healing. Together, they discuss the turning points in their healing process, the role of faith, and the tools that helped them rebuild their relationship and lives. Their story is a testament to the power of love, faith, and the courage to seek help.

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EP 155: Introducing Sam

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 08 Apr 2025 06:00:00 -0600

In this special episode of 'Unashamed Unafraid,' James and Steve introduce Sam as the new official host, marking a significant transition for the podcast. They discuss the reasons behind this change, dispel myths about their recovery journeys, and reflect on their experiences with the show. Sam shares his thoughts on authenticity, his personal recovery journey, and the future direction of 'Unashamed Unafraid.'

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EP 154: Liam's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 01 Apr 2025 06:00:00 -0600

Join us as Liam shares his powerful journey from battling addiction to finding faith and redemption. In this heartfelt episode, Liam opens up about his early struggles with drugs, alcohol, and pornography, and how he found solace and recovery through his church. Liam discusses the pivotal moments that led him to reconnect with God, the importance of community and connection in overcoming addiction, and the invaluable guidance he received from a mentor in the recovery program. Through tears, humility, and unwavering faith, Liam's story is a testament to the power of connection, self-awareness, and spiritual growth. Don’t miss his inspiring story and learn how you, too, can find the strength to overcome life's toughest challenges.

*To connect with Liam, send him an email Liamesm94@gmail.com

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EP 153: Live Unashamed- Recovery Dailies

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 25 Mar 2025 06:00:00 -0600

Chris and Sam discuss the importance of daily habits, or 'dailies,' in maintaining a grounded relationship with God and supporting recovery. Both emphasize how consistent habits like daily affirmations, prayer, and meditation can lower stress and help process emotions. They discuss the challenges and benefits of making time for these daily practices, tools like a daily affirmation book, and the importance of choosing habits that one enjoys rather than dreads. Both also share personal anecdotes and strategies they employ, encouraging listeners to find what works for them and to give themselves grace when they fall short.

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EP 152: Steven's Story Update

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 18 Mar 2025 06:00:00 -0600

In this episode of Unashamed Unafraid, James and Chris sit down with Steve, the founder of the podcast, to discuss a deeply personal update in his life: his divorce from his wife, Kayla. Steve opens up about the emotional and spiritual journey that led to their separation, emphasizing the importance of honesty, accountability, and real recovery. He shares how this life change has impacted his sobriety and mental health, and how both he and Kayla are navigating co-parenting and their new lives apart. This candid conversation sheds light on the complexities of relationships, addiction recovery, and the role of faith in overcoming life's challenges. Join us for an eye-opening episode that underscores the importance of staying true to oneself and seeking genuine happiness.

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00:00 Introduction
01:08 Steve's Personal Story and Divorce Announcement
02:26 Reflections on Sobriety and Recovery
05:38 Codependency and Personal Growth
15:53 In-House Separation and Boundary Issues
22:21 Spiritual Experiences and Realizations
28:13 Reflecting on Past Behaviors
29:07 Spiritual Awakening and Healing
30:18 Understanding and Compassion
33:14 The Apple and Orange Metaphor
34:57 Courage and Honesty in Marriage
38:49 Peaceful Divorce and Co-Parenting
43:47 Hope for the Future
48:42 Final Thoughts and Reflections

EP 151: Live Unashamed- The Void Left by Addiction

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 11 Mar 2025 06:00:00 -0600

In this episode, hosts Chris, Sam, James, and guest Josh, delve into their personal journeys of overcoming pornography addiction. They emphasize the importance of identifying underlying emotional issues and finding healthier coping mechanisms. The discussion highlights how addiction often masks deeper emotional needs, such as connection and intimacy. They each share their strategies for filling the void left by addiction through meaningful relationships, spiritual growth, and community support. The conversation focuses on the role of accountability, vulnerability, and trusting in God to facilitate lasting recovery.

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EP 150: Hunter & Sarah's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 04 Mar 2025 06:00:00 -0700

In this episode, hosts engage with Hunter and Sarah who share their journey of overcoming pornography addiction. Hunter describes getting hooked on pornography at a young age, his struggles throughout his mission, and how his addiction persisted into his marriage. The couple details the challenges they faced and the turning point when Hunter began to open up about his addiction, leading to significant relief and progress. Hunter discusses the importance of removing shame, healing past traumas, and viewing pornography neutrally to aid recovery. Sarah shares her feelings of inadequacy and how she learned to detach from Hunter's addiction, emphasizing self-love and acceptance.

*You can connect with Hunter and Sarah here: instagram.com/_hunter.clark

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EP 149: Live Unashamed- How to Find the Right Therapist

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 25 Feb 2025 06:00:00 -0700

James, Sam, Ella, and Chris discuss their experiences and challenges with finding effective therapy, particularly in relation to overcoming pornography addiction and shame. They emphasize the importance of finding a therapist who resonates with the client, addresses issues of shame, and creates a clear plan for healing. The conversation touches on personal anecdotes, the importance of moving beyond long-term, ineffective therapy, and explores different therapeutic modalities.

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EP 148: Matt & Katie's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 18 Feb 2025 06:00:00 -0700

This episode features Katie and Matt and the challenges they have faced due to Matt's struggle with pornography addiction. Katie describes her role in the recovery process, initially trying to control Matt's recovery before realizing she needed to focus on her own healing. Matt shares how he overcame his addiction by taking personal responsibility and how both of them involved God in their healing journey. The episode highlights honesty, vulnerability, and the importance of individual recovery within a marriage, while also discussing their efforts to help others through similar struggles.

*You can connect with Matt and Katie here: instagram.com/thechristianbetrayalcoach, Website: thechristianbetrayalcoach.com,

Email: katie@thechristianbetrayalcoach.com

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EP 147: Live Unashamed- DIY Recovery

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 11 Feb 2025 06:00:00 -0700

In this discussion, Chris, James, Sam, and Ella gather to talk about the reality of DIY recovery. Ella's experiences as a woman struggling with sexual addiction are highlighted, prompting an exploration into whether it is possible to recover from addiction without community support. The consensus among the participants is that achieving true recovery independently is extremely challenging, if not impossible. They all share personal anecdotes emphasizing the importance of community, therapy, and support systems in their recovery journeys.

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EP 146: Nick & Anja's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 04 Feb 2025 06:00:00 -0700

In this episode, Sam and James engage in a heartfelt discussion with Nick and Anja about their life stories, meeting each other, and the struggles they faced, including addiction, mental health, and personal trauma. They share insights on their relationship dynamics, particularly focusing on honesty, vulnerability, and coping mechanisms. They detail Nick's journey through addiction, feelings of unworthiness, and moments of suicidal ideation, while Anja discusses her own struggles with multiple sclerosis and feelings of being unlovable. Despite their challenges, they highlight the importance of mutual support, understanding God's unconditional love, and continuous efforts toward healing. The episode also touches on the role of the podcast and community support in aiding their recovery.

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EP 145: Live Unashamed- Finding Humor in Recovery

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 28 Jan 2025 06:00:00 -0700

Join James, Sam, Ella, and Chris as they explore how to find humor in the recovery process. From hilarious anecdotes and personal stories to reflections on the nature of recovery, this episode emphasizes the importance of laughter and joy even amidst serious challenges. Hear funny experiences, the value of not taking oneself too seriously, and the role humor plays in healing and overcoming addiction. Also, learn why it's essential to laugh at our mistakes and view recovery with a lighter heart. Tune in to discover why sometimes, laughter truly is the best medicine.

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EP 144: Ever Accountable with Tyler Patterson

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 21 Jan 2025 06:00:00 -0700

In this episode, hosts Sam and Steve, engage in an insightful conversation with Tyler, the founder of Ever Accountable, an app designed to help individuals overcome porn addiction through accountability. Tyler shares his personal journey of creating the app, which monitors and reports browsing activities to chosen accountability partners, helping users stay accountable. They discuss the effectiveness of accountability versus traditional internet filters, the challenges of developing such technology, and the importance of community and support in recovery. Tyler also addresses common questions about using the app, including its compatibility with different platforms and considerations for choosing accountability partners.

Connect with Tyler and the Ever Accountable team here:
Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@everaccountable
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ever_accountable/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/EverAccountable

X: https://x.com/everaccountable

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/company/ever-accountable/
Reddit: https://www.reddit.com/user/everAccountable_/
Linktree: https://linktr.ee/everaccountable

To sign up for a 14 day free trial visit: everaccountable.com

Email support@everaccountable.com for questions

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EP 143: Live Unashamed- Navigating "The Talk" with Friends

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 14 Jan 2025 06:00:00 -0700

In this episode, Chris, Steve and Sam delve into the complexities of discussing pornography and sexual addiction among friends. They explore the shame and fear associated with sharing one's story, the impact of cultural stigma, and the intimate connection between sexuality and identity. The conversation includes practical advice on discerning who to share with and how to approach these sensitive topics, emphasizing the importance of compassion, understanding, and safe spaces. The hosts also highlight their own experiences and the positive outcomes of being open about their struggles, encouraging listeners to take steps towards open dialogue and recovery.

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EP 142: Betrayal Trauma with Beckie Hennessy

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 07 Jan 2025 06:00:00 -0700

In this powerful episode, Steven and James are joined by Beckie Hennessy, a seasoned therapist with nearly two decades of experience, to delve deep into the intricacies of betrayal trauma. They discuss Beckie's personal journey through betrayal, her professional insights, and the challenging process of recovery and healing. From defining betrayal trauma to addressing the role of accountability and the impact of personal growth on relationships, this episode offers invaluable advice for anyone struggling to navigate the aftermath of betrayal. Tune in for a heartfelt discussion, practical insights, and the promise of unimaginable hope and healing.

*To connect with Beckie, visit AcceptedLife.com

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EP 141: Live Unashamed- The Struggle and Importance of Reaching Out

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 31 Dec 2024 06:00:00 -0700

In this episode, Steve, Sam, James and Ella discuss the challenges and necessity of reaching out for support. They explore personal experiences and societal messages that discourage people from seeking help, such as beliefs that reaching out is a sign of weakness. They also touch on the roles children often take in families and how these roles affect their willingness to seek assistance. The episode concludes with a call to action for listeners to challenge their barriers and reach out when they need help, reinforcing the message that everyone deserves support.

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EP 140: Sam's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 24 Dec 2024 06:00:00 -0700

The episode is a conversation among Sam, Steve, and Chris about Sam's personal journey through addiction, recovery, and healing. Sam shares his story of growing up in a seemingly picture perfect Christian family, facing emotional challenges, and struggling with addiction from a young age. He discusses key moments of realization, the effects of trauma, pivotal experiences in therapy, and the impact of finding hope and authenticity. The discussion also explores the dangers of the "try harder" mindset and touches on the importance of honesty, community support, and spiritual connection in the path to recovery. Sam emphasizes the shift from trying to achieve sobriety alone to embracing God's unconditional love and support in his ongoing journey.

To connect with Sam, send him an email at sam@unashamedunafraid.com

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EP 139: The GLORY Retreat

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 17 Dec 2024 06:00:00 -0700

Join us in this special episode as we dive into the details of The GLORY Retreat [God's Love Opens the Real You], an interfaith Christian retreat designed exclusively for women. With guests Jayne, Beckie, and Tricia, we explore the retreat's mission to guide you in experiencing the real you, the real God and your real story. Set at the beautiful Lost Canyon Camp in Williams, Arizona, the retreat promises a blend of worship, adventure, and experiential activities, catering to women from all walks of life. The discussion highlights the importance of taking time for oneself amidst life's challenges and the potential for personal growth through real, immersive experiences. Listeners are provided with logistical details, including costs, accommodations, and registration information, encouraging them to join this unique event to foster genuine faith and community.

Visit TheGloryRetreat.com to sign up now and use code "GLORY95" to save $95! (code is valid through Jan 31st, 2025)

Have questions? Send an email to TheGloryRetreat@gmail.com

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EP 138: Live Unashamed- Mindfulness and Meditation

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 10 Dec 2024 06:00:00 -0700

Join James, Ella, Steve, and Sam as they explore the challenges and benefits of mindfulness practices and how they can aid in emotional healing. They discuss the misconceptions around meditation, often misunderstood as a quick path to calm, and instead highlight its true purpose: being fully present with emotions—whether joyful, angry, or sad. Along the way, they share personal experiences with meditation, talk about the role of focus, and address common pitfalls, like using it to avoid emotions rather than face them.

This episode ends with a challenge to practice your own meditation and mindfulness. Give yourself 10 minutes to breathe, ground and be present in your emotions.

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EP 137: Legos, Shame and Recovery with Cameron Staley

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 03 Dec 2024 06:00:00 -0700

In this episode of Unashamed Unafraid, Steve is joined by Cameron Staley, a researcher, therapist, and author with deep expertise in the intersection of sexuality and spirituality. Cameron opens up about his journey from academia to clinical practice, revealing how his work on problematic pornography viewing and compulsive behaviors is rooted in a desire to help people reconcile these issues with their values.
It’s a thoughtful discussion on how to shift from shame-based perspectives to a healthier, more accepting relationship with one’s emotions and desires. Whether you’re in recovery, supporting a partner, or seeking to understand the role of shame in your life, this episode offers deep insights and relatable wisdom on the path to healing.

You can connect with Cameron here:
Website: cameronstaley.com

Instagram: instagram.com/thelifeafterseries

Facebook: facebook.com/Dr.CameronStaley

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EP 136: Live Unashamed-Spirituality in Addiction Recovery

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 26 Nov 2024 06:00:00 -0700

In today’s episode, Steve, Sam, and James are joined by Ella as they take a deep dive into the role of spirituality in recovery. They discuss the balance between spirituality and religion, exploring what it means to seek a connection with something beyond oneself without necessarily aligning with organized religion. Each guest shares their unique struggles and perspectives, from dealing with judgment and perfectionism to the courage required to open up to others. They consider how shame and perfectionism show up in both religious settings and recovery groups, affecting the journey to self-acceptance. This episode ends with an invitation to reflect on the barriers we face in connecting with others and with a higher power.

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EP 135: Kaleb's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 19 Nov 2024 06:00:00 -0700

In this episode, Kaleb joins Steve and James for a raw, courageous discussion about his journey through addiction, shame, and recovery after a series of legal consequences and time in jail. Kaleb opens up about facing the labels of "addict" and "sex offender" and the impact they had on his self-image and spiritual life. They emphasizes the importance of maintaining perspective, the power of forgiveness, and the impact of having a positive, future-oriented mindset. This episode provides a heartfelt look at the road from rock-bottom experiences to healing and growth, offering listeners insight into how one man has found purpose and peace amidst profound struggle.

You can connect with Kaleb on instagram @kalebmbarclay and @findingfreedom.pod

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EP 134: Live Unashamed- Grace and its Place With Addiction Recovery

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 12 Nov 2024 06:00:00 -0700

This episode dives deep into the role of grace in addiction recovery. Sam joins hosts Steve and James in a candid conversation about how grace not only fosters personal healing but also helps bridge the gaps in relationships harmed by addiction. The episode unpacks the depth of grace, its transformative power, and its ability to inspire positive change. They emphasize that grace is not a "hall pass" to excuse harmful behaviors but a force that leads to true reconciliation. The discussion also touches on the misconception of using grace to justify actions, the importance of reconciling relationships with God, and the personal journey each individual takes in recovery.

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EP 133: The Lisa Show pt. 2

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 05 Nov 2024 06:00:00 -0700

Steve and Lisa dive into exactly how to respond to compulsive sexual behavior in your home, especially as a parent. There are now more resources than ever to help families have healthy conversations that appropriately frame sexuality without shame. Steve offers specific language for loved ones starting the conversation with their significant other or child, as well as strategies to protect emotional and physical safety in the meantime. Whether the conversation is with a spouse or a child, it's possible to dispel adrenaline and shame ahead of time, so that family dialogues about sexual boundaries foster trust and healing.

*This is a reposted episode from The Lisa Show Podcast* byuradio.org/the-lisa-show

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EP 132: The Lisa Show pt. 1

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 29 Oct 2024 06:00:00 -0600

*This is a reposted episode from The Lisa Show Podcast* byuradio.org/the-lisa-show

In this special episode, Steven joins Lisa for a conversation about recovery, outlining seven critical aspects of the healing process. They discuss the the most common pitfalls that keep people from healing and recovering, including the "try harder" fallacy, and outdated labels and language. Whether the issue at hand is pornography use, affairs and infidelity, or betrayal trauma, anyone can heal. Steven and Lisa discuss strategies for forming safe communities that foster honesty and recovery, especially in church environments.

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EP 131: Live Unashamed- Recognizing Shame

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 22 Oct 2024 06:00:00 -0600

In this episode, Steve, James and Sam take a new approach discussing the topic of shame. They explore how shame thrives in secrecy and judgment, acting as a tool of negative forces to undermine self-worth. Through personal experiences, they reveal how recognizing and addressing shame—through therapy, spiritual retreats, and open communication—can heal and strengthen personal relationships, especially in marriage. The conversation underscores the necessity of discussing shame openly to identify its sources and mitigate its impacts.

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EP 130: Recovery Resources & Masculinity with The Therapy Brothers

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 15 Oct 2024 06:00:00 -0600

In this episode, Steve and James are joined by the Therapy Brothers, Tyler and Brannon, who are both experienced therapists specializing in marriage, family therapy, and recovery from shame and trauma. They discuss their podcast 'Therapy Brothers' and the retreats they host aimed at helping men and women reclaim their identity and heal emotionally. The conversation explores topics such as healthy masculinity, the importance of experiential therapy, and tips for finding effective recovery resources. The Therapy Brothers emphasize the need for authenticity, courage, and community in the recovery process and share insight into how partners can support each other through trauma and healing journeys.

Connect with the Therapy Brothers here.

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EP 129: Live Unashamed- Sobriety vs. Recovery

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 08 Oct 2024 06:00:00 -0600

In this episode of Live Unashamed, hosts bring on their friend, Sam, to discuss the differences between sobriety and recovery. They explore the challenges and misconceptions surrounding these concepts, emphasizing that sobriety is about abstaining from undesirable behaviors, while recovery involves deeper healing. Personal stories highlight struggles with perfectionism, codependency, and self-sabotage. The conversation probes the reasons behind continued relapses despite significant recovery progress. The discussion aims to encourage listeners to reflect on their own journey and engage with the community for further support.

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EP 128: Keeping it Real with Rhoda

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 01 Oct 2024 08:00:00 -0600

In this episode we invite Rhoda, a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) and seasoned podcaster to discuss critical aspects of couples therapy and relationships. Rhoda shares her extensive experience in the mental health field, emphasizing the importance of hard conversations, self-honesty, and long-term thinking for relationship recovery—especially in the context of addiction. She provides actionable advice for both partners struggling with difficult subjects like relapse disclosure and managing criticism. Rhoda also highlights the role of mutual empowerment and authentic communication in rebuilding trust and fostering a more substantial connection. Essential tips for recognizing and changing negative narratives in relationships are discussed, making this episode a valuable resource for couples navigating complex emotional landscapes.

Listen to Rhoda's podcast: https://www.therapyideas.net/podcast/
Visit her website for over 450 pages of free information: https://www.therapyideas.net
For more info on relationships: https://www.therapyideas.net/relationships/

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EP 127: The Therapy Brothers

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 17 Sep 2024 08:00:00 -0600

*This is a reposted episode from The Therapy Brothers Podcast* therapybros.com

In this special episode, Steve is interviewed by Tyler and Brannon Patrick, hosts of the Therapy Brothers Podcast. Steve shares his powerful and raw personal journey of addiction, recovery, and the reclamation of his own heart. He opens up about his struggles with addiction while in prominent church roles and the pivotal moments of grace that guided him towards healing. Steve emphasizes the importance of vulnerability, acceptance, and the support of a masculine brotherhood in overcoming personal demons and living a life aligned with one's true values. The discussion dives deep into the concept of 'godly masculinity' and how men can harness their inherent strengths in a positive and purposeful way.
Stay tuned for an upcoming episode where we dive deep and interview the Therapy Brothers!

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EP 126: Q&A with Josh

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 10 Sep 2024 08:00:00 -0600

In this episode hosts Steven and James are joined by their friend Josh. They answer questions sent in by Josh and in doing so, they dive into a personal and candid discussion about recovery, touching on themes such as discipleship, shame, and the concept of being 'broken.' The conversation includes a deep dive into what it means to be 'recovered' versus 'in recovery,' the significance of self-care in a spiritual context, and the powerful idea that brokenness can lead to greater strength and beauty through divine grace.

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EP 125: Gavin's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 03 Sep 2024 08:00:00 -0600

In this episode, Steve and Chris embrace the power of vulnerability as they introduce Gavin, a guest who courageously shares his journey through addiction, shame, and recovery. The candid conversation goes into the deeper, poignant narrative of Gavin's experiences from teenage struggles with pornography and masturbation, through tumultuous high school years, and eventually, unexpected betrayal within his marriage. Through honest dialogue and unwavering support from the Unashamed & Unafraid community, Gavin discusses the trials of religious repentance processes, the emotional toll of addiction, and the crucial turning points leading to his ongoing recovery. This raw and inspiring episode underscores the significance of sharing one's story without stigma, connecting deeply with others, and finding hope in the most unexpected places.

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EP 124: The Heart of a Woman Retreat

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 27 Aug 2024 08:00:00 -0600

In this episode of Unashamed and Afraid, Steve welcomes Melanie, Michelle, and Sally to discuss their experiences with Heart of a Woman, a transformative Christian retreat designed to help women reconnect with God and themselves. Melanie shares the origins of Heart of a Woman, revealing how a call to create a dedicated retreat for women led to a decade-long journey of spiritual growth and female fellowship. Michelle and Sally, past attendees of the retreat, recount their varied experiences, emphasizing how the retreat provides a unique space for women to unplug from their daily lives, heal from trauma, and deepen their relationships with God through presentations, solo reflection time, and adventurous activities. Overall, Heart of a Woman aims to offer women a safe, supportive environment where they can explore their faith, build lasting connections, and return home with a renewed sense of spiritual and personal clarity.

*Go to TheHeartofaWoman.net and use code UNASHAMED24 to save $50 when you sign up! (Valid until September 10, 2024)

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EP 123: Ian and Niccole's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 20 Aug 2024 08:00:00 -0600

In this heartfelt episode, join hosts James and Steven as they welcome Ian and Niccole to the studio to share their profound journey of overcoming addiction and codependency through faith and mutual support. From their first meeting in college to their struggles with addiction and codependency, the couple provides an authentic narrative of their battles and breakthroughs. Key highlights include their initial honesty with each other about their respective struggles, the transformational moment when Niccole set healthy boundaries, and Ian's growing self-acceptance and self-love bolstered by his renewed faith. The episode emphasizes the importance of community, accountability, and a non-judgmental approach—focused on finding God's love and self-worth beyond destructive behaviors. Tune in for an inspiring discussion on overcoming shame, embracing vulnerability, and reclaiming hope.

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EP 122: Jennifer's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 13 Aug 2024 08:00:00 -0600

Jennifer suffered every type of abuse as a child. She was assaulted by her father, then by all the men that her mother brought home over the years. She came to feel that she was worthless, only there to make other people happy, and was filled with guilt. Years later, a therapist recommended she go get a massage to learn that not all touch was sexual. That backfired tremendously when her masseuse ended up raping her.

Jennifer was in a dark place, and as she watched her mother succumb to alzheimer's she was afflicted with suicidal thoughts. She finally asked God to give her a reason to live in any way that He could. The next morning, a sunrise miracle caused a deep and fundamental shift within her. That, combined with the reframing that she gained from an experiential, ultimately healed her soul and put her on the road to recovery. Jennifer’s story is a message of hope both to addicts and victims of abuse everywhere.

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EP 121: Live Unashamed- Living with a Codependent (pt. 3)

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 06 Aug 2024 08:00:00 -0600

In the final episode of 'Codependency', the hosts discuss the intricacies of codependent relationships. The episode delves into the definition of codependency, its symptoms, and the difficulty individuals face in maintaining self-esteem, setting boundaries, and experiencing healthy intimacy. Through personal anecdotes and discussions, the team explores how codependency manifests and the challenges of overcoming it. They emphasize the importance of self-worth and boundaries in moving past codependent behaviors and introduce the concept that living in a codependent relationship is ultimately a choice. The conversation touches on various personal experiences and provides insights into the journey of recovery and transformation.

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EP 120: Live Unashamed- How to Break My Codependency (pt. 2)

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 30 Jul 2024 08:00:00 -0600

Having already defined codependency, the team now addresses how to break out of its cycle. The first step is to recognize what our codependent behaviors even are. We cannot choose a different path if we don’t see the choices that are there. Furthermore, if we want to stop manipulating others into meeting our needs, we have to make peace with the fact that we really do have needs and that it is acceptable for us to own and address them. If we aren’t willing to give a full and honest voice to those needs, we are much more likely to get them met in covert, manipulative ways.

Another key takeaway is that we have to be willing to be honest, with no regard for the outcome. If we are not comfortable with sharing the truth that might make the other person mad at us and walk away from us, then we cannot live truthfully with that person. We have to be willing to suffer disconnection and be alone. We have to be willing to do the pain. “Enjoy that pain, there is beauty on the other side.”

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EP 119: Live Unashamed- Am I Codependent? (pt. 1)

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 23 Jul 2024 08:00:00 -0600

The concept of codependency can be difficult to grasp and identifying it within ourselves or our relationships can prove challenging. In this episode, we break down the definition, assess its relevance, and offer strategies for recognizing and addressing it.

If you’ve grappled with resentment in a relationship or felt compelled to manage someone else’s emotions or beliefs, this discussion may provide hope, guidance, and even relief.

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EP 118: Making Repair with Marc Pimsler

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 16 Jul 2024 08:00:00 -0600

We’re thrilled to welcome Marc Pimsler back for another episode! Marc, a lover of God, is a therapist, seeker, and a teacher with the heart of a student. He's in long-term recovery and he's here to talk about making repair.

Whether we refer to it as making repair, making amends, setting things right, or repairing relationships, there are ineffective or even harmful ways to approach it. Marc shows up with authenticity and passion to advocate for an effective approach. He begins by defining Addiction, Responsibility, and Accountability in a way that brings clarity to the discussion. We explore the reasons behind making repair, the work that must be done first, how to recognize unhealthy expectations, and strategies for navigating the process.

You can reach Marc via email at mvp@mvp-consulting.net or find him on Instagram @mpimsler and Facebook.

If this episode resonates with you, or if you know someone who needs a reminder of God’s open arms, please share the link to this episode with them. At Unashamed Unafraid, we are here to spread the words of hope and healing through Jesus Christ.

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EP 117: Live Unashamed- Reaching Out, What Does it Mean?

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 09 Jul 2024 08:00:00 -0600

Alcoholics Anonymous' Dr. Bob's response to Bill Wilson after he complained that no one showed up for a meeting he spent the day organizing— "But you didn't drink today" — speaks volumes. In this episode, Steve, James, and Chris recognize the challenges of forming real connections and a supportive community while providing uplifting advice.

Tune in for insightful truths like these: Everyone fears rejection, and introverts face extra hurdles, but there are ways to overcome them. Each connection made is a victory against isolation, and reaching out pulls us out of our negotiations with our addiction.

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EP 116: Christian and Kelle's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 02 Jul 2024 08:00:00 -0600

Christian was born the middle of eight children and felt that he had to act out to get noticed. In his early adolescence he experimented with opiates, alcohol, a cigarette, and sex.

Kelle met Christian during their senior year of High School, the two started dating, and were quickly married after he returned home from his LDS mission. A few years and a motorcycle accident later, Christian went through a steady progression of painkillers, alcohol, gambling, and adultery. He became unable to hold down a job and disappeared for long stretches of time, Kelle and their four children unsure of when or if he would show up next.

Christian and Kelle’s story is a testament to the fact that there is always a way back, that no soul is over and done, at least not so long as we are willing to open ourselves even a little to the light that is cracking its way into our hearts.

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EP 115: Live Unashamed- Navigating the Influence of Digital Media

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 25 Jun 2024 08:00:00 -0600

Just as we establish clear boundaries in our relationships with other people, we must also set boundaries in our relationship with digital media, especially when we consider that media use is the "most undiagnosed addiction behavior by a mile." It consumes massive chunks of our time on its own, and can lure the recovering porn addict back into full-blown relapse.

Hear the Unashamed Unafraid team speak to all of these points, as well as how parents play a crucial role in modeling healthy media habits for their children, how women especially are hurt by social media's brutal comparison game, and how being constantly plugged in blocks us from "finding God in silence."

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EP 114: Equine Therapy with Julie Forbes

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 18 Jun 2024 08:00:00 -0600

Julie Forbes is a healer of souls. In this episode, we discuss her practice of helping people heal through spiritual connection with and in the presence of horses - Equine Assisted Learning. She has worked professionally in this field for over a decade in the St. George, Utah area.

Julie shares the success she has witnessed in her work with troubled teens and addicts, asserting that no matter what we believe about ourselves, we can find a way to face our 'Soul Hurt,' release our false beliefs, and emerge renewed and healed.

Join us as Julie describes how she became involved with Equine Assisted Learning, what the experience entails, and how God manifests through it. We believe you'll find her unique perspective on healing, the definition of addiction, and the promise of lasting recovery refreshing.

You can contact Julie by email, julie@julieforbes.net, her website Dragonfly Soul, Facebook, and Instagram.

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EP 113: Live Unashamed- Recovering vs. Recovered

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 11 Jun 2024 08:00:00 -0600

"I absolutely know with every fiber of my being that [God] loves me for who I am."

Recovery is not a one-size-fits-all process. Each person may define their recovery journey in terms of what resonates with them personally. Recovery is as much about self-awareness and growth as it is about overcoming addiction and the journey from “recovering” to “recovered” lies in our faith in God and His Son Jesus Christ that healing is not only possible for others, but we each too are worthy to receive it and can start living a fulfilling life unburdened by addiction.

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EP 112: Empathy with David Thompson

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 04 Jun 2024 08:00:00 -0600

David Thompson is a marriage and family therapist, a certified sex addiction therapist, and half of the Two Therapists Talking podcast. In today’s episode he is invited to share whatever message “lights him up,” and he chooses to speak on the tremendous power of empathy. He even states that “empathy is the key that unlocks every door.”

Of particular usefulness is David’s step-by-step guide for how to listen to a loved one with complete empathy. Empathy is impossible while still in shame, and he speaks to the need of separating who we are from what we have done. He shares the process by which he proves to each of his clients their inherent worth, allowing them to finally live unashamed.

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EP 111: Live Unashamed- Strategies for Breaking Addictive Patterns

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 28 May 2024 08:00:00 -0600

If porn is a paycheck and I’m getting $200 a week and you tell me to just stop - the math doesn’t add up because I’m broke.

You have to give them hope - “what if I give you $500 a week in recovery.” And that $500 is hope. This episode uncovers the understanding of unconditional love from God in talking with others and seeking God. Brother and Sisterhood, good 12 Step programs, bootcamps, etc. is what provides the larger payoff of a life in peace from the insanity cycle of acting out.

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EP 110: Matt and Natalie's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 21 May 2024 08:00:00 -0600

Matt and Natalie were high school sweethearts, but unknown by her, Matt had been struggling with pornography since he was a boy. His struggles continued through high school and a church mission, and into their marriage, but he had never shared any of this with his parents, church leaders, or with Natalie.

After their first year of marriage, she opened up to him about a childhood of sexual abuse, and Matt began a very slow process of disclosure to her… a process that lasted the next twelve years.

He lived with intense feelings of shame and felt as though he was “nothing.” After thirteen difficult years of marriage, and some months of separation, Matt was given the choice of divorce or in-house treatment at Desert Solace, in St. George, Utah. He chose Desert Solace. Those ninety days changed his relationship with himself, with God, and with his wife. He brought a new energy to their marriage as they began a journey of real and lasting recovery.

Matt and Natalie’s story is a reminder of the possibility of transformation, real change, and renewed connection possible in recovery. We are reminded that there are no accidents, and everything in their journey has brought them to where they are now: coaches working with others who are facing the same struggles as they did. You can find them at truthrisingcoaching.com.

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EP 109: Live Unashamed- Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, nature beats addiction

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 14 May 2024 08:00:00 -0600

Changing our state is a good practice when dealing with life’s stressful events – but getting outside and connecting to nature resets our minds. Chris, Steve, and James share what works best for them from hiking, sitting by a fire, or getting on a boat to help reset their state of mind.

The episode ends with a challenge to get outdoors and dive into nature. When you are done, go back to your car and get your phone and email a picture to chris@unashamedunafraid.com.

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Do you have a story you are willing to share? Email our Podcast Executive Director, Jeremy, at jeremy@unashamedunafraid.com

EP 108: Jacob and Trichelle's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 07 May 2024 08:00:00 -0600

Jacob and Trichelle, married for 32 years, both serve on the staff of Desert Solace, a pornography and sexual addiction treatment facility in St. George, Utah. In this episode, they recount their transformative journey from what they once described as 'soul sucking' to something they now see as 'beautiful'.

Jacob's addiction overshadowed the first 26 years of their marriage but was difficult to identify as it oscillated between sex and workaholism. Their marriage teetered on the edge. Feeling unredeemable, both, at different points, reached their ultimate breaking points. In time, they both emerged from the darkness and today, help others through similar struggles.

This episode delves into the couples’ heart-wrenching but ultimately redemptive story. Discover how they achieved what seemed impossible and continue to persevere today. Hear why they call God their best friend. Learn about Desert Solace and the impactful work Jacob and Trichelle now do there. Gain access to tools, resources, inspiration, and possibly a reframing of your own journey.

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Do you have a story you are willing to share? Email our Podcast Executive Director, Jeremy, at jeremy@unashamedunafraid.com

EP 107: Live Unashamed- Higher Power

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 30 Apr 2024 09:00:00 -0600

In this episode, Steve, James, and guest Kurt Francom explore the role of a higher power in addiction recovery. Recognizing the diversity of perspectives surrounding this topic, the trio transcends conventional definitions, offering insights grounded in their collective experience. The conversation touches on crucial themes, including wounds, surrender, identity, healing, and happiness. If you've ever pondered the complexities of this subject, you'll enjoy this thought-provoking and spirited discussion.

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Do you have a story you are willing to share? Email our Podcast Executive Director, Jeremy, at jeremy@unashamedunafraid.com

EP 106: Live Unashamed- Is Long Term Sobriety Possible?

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 23 Apr 2024 09:00:00 -0600

Chris discusses his 15 years of sobriety and how it is defined with the group. Rather than a focus on abstinence from lust and acting out, recovery is a new way of life we walk with Christ. They also discuss the analogy of a marathon runner who trips up on mile 24 and how he doesn’t have to restart the race, he gets up and keeps on running.

What is your story in recovery? How have you defined reality and, more importantly, how do you define living a life with Christ in true hope and recovery? Share with Chris@unashamedunafraid.com, James@unashamedunafraid.com, and Steven@unashamedunafraid.com.

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Do you have a story you are willing to share? Email our Podcast Executive Director, Jeremy, at jeremy@unashamedunafraid.com

EP 105: Brian and Alicia's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 16 Apr 2024 09:00:00 -0600

“When you are at rock bottom, you are super hard on yourself and you are just going to keep going further down - but when you finally have hope - you see the light and desire to keep going.”

Brian and Alicia met in middle school, served missions for their church and got married. On returning home from South Africa, Brian got a smartphone and quickly found out how slippery a slope pornography is. He used it to medicate the negative emotions in life and got to the point where he couldn’t ground out as “normal” during the day without pornography.

Upon disclosure, Alicia began a journey of getting to know who God is. Together they began attending a couples recovery meeting and repairing their relationship. As they reached out to each other and to others, they saw there is hope in recovery and that recovery is possible.

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Do you have a story you are willing to share? Email our Podcast Executive Director, Jeremy, at jeremy@unashamedunafraid.com

EP 104: Live Unashamed- Addiction vs. Behavior

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 09 Apr 2024 09:00:00 -0600

Recognizing that we have behaviors that are detrimental to both ourselves and others brings up some important questions. We wonder whether these actions classify as addictions, transient behaviors, or merely bad habits. More questions come up when we find that we can't easily stop the behavior.

In this episode, we explore the reasons we even ask the questions. We contemplate the significance of the societal labels associated with such behaviors, the underlying factors contributing to our actions, and whether seeking help is necessary.

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Do you have a story you are willing to share? Email our Podcast Executive Director, Jeremy, at jeremy@unashamedunafraid.com

EP 103: Bryce's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 02 Apr 2024 09:00:00 -0600

Today, Bryce is known among his friends as genuinely happy, and capable of putting an entire room at ease upon entering it. But it was only a few years ago that he reached out for help from the edge of despair. He had hit rock bottom in a lifestyle of porn and sex that was wreaking havoc in his life. Breaking free from shame and his destructive habits proved to be a challenging journey, but supportive individuals entered his life and guided him into therapy and helped him develop a community of friends with whom he could share his challenges.

In this episode, find out how Bryce's mother came to his rescue, the role God played in his recovery and how his newfound support network helped him navigate difficult changes, including the termination of a tumultuous romantic relationship. The episode ends with a compelling segment titled 'Advice from Bryce' and a surprise phone call.

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Do you have a story you are willing to share? Email our Podcast Executive Director, Jeremy, at jeremy@unashamedunafraid.com

EP 102: Live Unashamed- Music in Recovery

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 26 Mar 2024 09:00:00 -0600

“Music can give me empathy like nobody around me can.”

Join us in a shorter 20-minute episode as Steven, James, and Chris share how music has helped them see God differently. Not just Christian music, but anything that uplifts, inspires, takes you to a sad place, or otherwise moves you into a place of reflection and learning.

Music is an amplifier of emotion which provides clarity and the opportunity to evaluate where we are in a moment of time - or to take us back to a moment of time. Often music can also be a way to numb out, get angry, and act out. Join us in the journey of exploring how music plays a part (or maybe doesn’t play a part) in your life.

Steven ends with an invitation - pick music that makes you really uncomfortable because it pricks a particular emotion and read the lyrics, sing it out loud, and see what happens. Leave a comment below with your experience or email Steven, James, or Chris directly.

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Do you have a story you are willing to share? Email our Podcast Executive Director, Jeremy, at jeremy@unashamedunafraid.com

EP 101: Kaylawnni's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 19 Mar 2024 09:00:00 -0600

At the age of 9, Kaylawnni began a challenging journey with sexual compulsion. Her struggle is marked by confusion and damaged self-confidence. A lyric from her favorite song boldly highlights the cause, "The devil lies, and twists the truth." She always assumed she'd take her secrets to the grave, but then, a close friend bravely disclosed his own battles, inspiring her to start her path to recovery.

In this bold and unashamed episode, Kaylawnni shares her insights and advice, highlighting the availability of help. Today, with God playing a significant role in her life, Kaylawnni reflects on her past with kindness and offers encouragement to those facing similar struggles.

Do you have a story you are willing to share? Email our Podcast Executive Director Jeremy at jeremy@unashamedunafraid.com.

EP 100: Live Unashamed- What Resources Have Worked Best for You in Recovery?

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 12 Mar 2024 09:00:00 -0600

"That was a moment for me that changed the trajectory of my life, my recovery; changed the connection with my wife, changed how I saw my kids; changed so much of me and who I was…" -Chris

In this short ‘Live Unashamed’ episode, Steve, James and Chris discuss resources that make a difference and how to find them. Good resources can initiate breakthroughs and sustain recovery, but they must have qualities that work for you like giving hope, helping with emotions and encouraging accountability and connection with others and with God. Steve encourages us to apply the “Fail Cheap and Fail Fast” principle to our search for resources and ends with an invitation to leave a comment about resources that have worked for you.

Do you have a story you are willing to share? Email our Podcast Executive Director Jeremy at jeremy@unashamedunafraid.com.

EP 99: Is God Disappointed in Me? ft. Kurt Francom

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 05 Mar 2024 08:00:00 -0700

Kurt Francom, the Executive Director and Host of 'Leading Saints', returns to discuss the concepts behind his recently released book, "Is God Disappointed in me? Removing Shame from the Gospel of Grace." This episode explores the inspiration behind the book, drawing on Francom's experiences within the Unashamed Unafraid and Warrior Heart Boot Camp communities.

The book's title resonates with those of us navigating journeys marked by brokenness. Satan whispers that God is ashamed and that He surely can't love us. These lies are exposed through reflection on the nature of God and His commandments. We ask whether God's love and patience flow through adjustable faucets contingent on our performance, or as constant, raging waterfalls. In tackling these and other questions, this episode contributes valuable insights to the process of recovery.

Do you have a story you are willing to share? Email our Podcast Executive Director Jeremy at jeremy@unashamedunafraid.com.

EP 98: Live Unashamed- No Secrets: Why We Choose to Tell Our Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 27 Feb 2024 08:00:00 -0700

“I know where shame lives - and that’s in isolation.”

Breaking anonymity shares how God has changed us and the desire to help one person to change their life is real when we come alive in Christ’s healing. It is reaching out with the most important messages in a shame-filled world - “you are not alone, and you are worth everything.”

It is easy for us to compare our suffering against others. To think our story is too small compared to others. Regardless of “little t traumas'' or “BIG T TRAUMAS” - we all have our pain. Our ways of dealing with that pain, and the shame and loneliness of trying to do it alone and getting those stories out in the open is how we share the message that “God loves you no matter what, because He loved me no matter what, and there is Hope and Healing through Christ.”

“It isn’t just my story changing people’s lives - it is the story of God changing people’s lives.”

Do you have a story you are willing to share? Email our Podcast Executive Director Jeremy at jeremy@unashamedunafraid.com.

EP 96: Live Unashamed- Stereotypes about Sexual Addiction

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 13 Feb 2024 08:00:00 -0700

Join us as we dive into stereotypes about addiction that are regularly aired in the shame game of trying to run and hide and act out in secret.

A few mentioned early in this episode:

Everybody who is an addict is non-functional - cannot hold down a job or a family.
Don’t let ANYBODY know because it is the worst thing you can be doing - my kids can’t play with other people’s kids anymore.
Once an addict, always an addict …
The husband is a villain, the wife is a victim.

Listen to this episode and leave us comments on what kept (or currently keeps) you in isolation and the cycle of confession and compulsion.

When Christ healed the leper, he was no longer a leper. When he healed the blind, the blind could see. What’s keeping you from putting down the shackles of addiction and stepping into a new life of recovery?

Do you have a story you are willing to share? Email our Podcast Executive Director Jeremy at jeremy@unashamedunafraid.com.

EP 95: Hunter's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 06 Feb 2024 08:00:00 -0700

My name is Hunter and this is my story. From the outside, my life seemed to be on a perfect track for success and happiness. I grew up with two parents in a loving and loyal family. I was a talented young man who especially did well in school. All of the adults around me felt that I had a bright future ahead of me in basically any career that I could want. My peers all saw me as simply another kid who was goofy and got good grades. But on the inside, I had a pain that I couldn't even fully admit to myself.

Eventually I could no longer avoid the pain, and I found myself in the world of addiction recovery. After years of brutal self-honesty and therapy, I discovered that my relationship with my father largely shaped my view of myself. I had learned to push myself to become better using shame and unreasonable expectations: the way that my father had done with me. This shame-rooted relationship with my father then formed a lens that caused me to see God as a God of expectation. A God I couldn’t approach without feeling shame.

Listen to my story to hear how I began to shed this lens and also see myself in a light of grace and self-worth.

Do you have a story you are willing to share? Email our Podcast Executive Director Jeremy at jeremy@unashamedunafraid.com.

EP 94: Amanda's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 16 Jan 2024 08:00:00 -0700

“When I watched porn again or relapsed, I felt God was done with me now … but Jesus fully sees me and fully knows my whole story, and still loves me. That is so powerful.”

Amanda stumbled on pornography at an early age. Thinking she was alone in her addiction she finally decided to share it with a friend - willing to accept rejection - only to discover that her friend Katie struggles too. Along their journey they found other women similarly struggling and so they decided to start an Instagram ministry. They were surprised how viral their posts went and now have a sisterhood of survivors fighting to overcome the addictive behaviors needed to be heard and accepted, letting go of shame.

Amanda can be contacted through Instagram @the_victory_collective and www.TheVictoryCollective.net/contact.

Do you have a story you are willing to share? Email our Podcast Executive Director Jeremy at jeremy@unashamedunafraid.com.

EP 93: Mathew and Brooklyn’s Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 02 Jan 2024 08:00:00 -0700

Matthew and Brooklyn brought both honesty and baggage into their relationship. Brooklyn’s achievement-based upbringing coupled with past mistakes left her wrestling with her sense of self-worth. Matthew's addiction to pornography led to a struggle with comparisons that cast a shadow of pain and darkness over the early years of their marriage.

Despite it all, their story is a heartwarming journey from light to darkness and on to redemption and deepening love. It’s full of God, good advice and good news.

Do you have a story you are willing to share? Email our Podcast Executive Director Jeremy at jeremy@unashamedunafraid.com.

EP 92: 2023 Year in Review with the UU Crew

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 19 Dec 2023 08:00:00 -0700

The UU crew get together to wrap up the year and answer the following questions:

What has been your favorite episode this past year and why?
What has been an area of growth for you this past year ?
If people can pray for you what do you need most?
What has been a meaningful worship song for you this past year?

As our gift to you, here is the song list from the UU team of their top 2023 “go to” tune:

Hurt People Hurt People – Tim McGraw

Holy Spirit, Come – Patrick Maybury

Rattle – Elevation Worship

He Is With You – Adam Agee

Hold Me Together – Jervis Campbell

Your Way – KB

Yet – Ashley Hess & Maverick City Music

Remind Me Who I Am – Jason Grey

Specific – Krista Wells

I Am They – Scars

Hope – NF

Eagle – Elevation Worship

Pacific – Christa Wells

Do you have a story you are willing to share? Email our Podcast Executive Director Jeremy at jeremy@unashamedunafraid.com.

Ep 91: With Kurt Francom

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 05 Dec 2023 08:00:00 -0700

“A relationship with a healer cannot exist without a wound to heal. Telling Jesus to go and heal another because ‘I’m good’ doesn’t allow Christ room to heal your heart and deepen a relationship with Him.”

Kurt shares his story of struggling in constantly seeking validation. He got an early massive dose of feeling good enough when he was called to be a bishop/pastor in church in his twenties and then continued to ascend up in leadership responsibilities. For him, his “lightbulb moment came with the realization that while he did not struggle with an addiction to drugs or lust, he was high on validation and used it as a numbing agent that separated him from Christ and other men.

Uniquely, this episode ends with a Bootcamp style prayer asking God or heal our need for validation. To fill the hole in our hearts we’ve tried to fill with things that are not God.

You can contact Kurt through his Leading Saints podcast and website.

Do you have a story you are willing to share? Email our Podcast Executive Director Jeremy at jeremy@unashamedunafraid.com.

Ep 90: Pete's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 21 Nov 2023 09:30:00 -0700

Physically, emotionally, and sexually abused as a child, Pete tried to navigate through shame, anger, and confusion alone while self-medicating with many things, but especially with an addiction to lust. Constant cycles of confession and relapse didn’t help, but getting a deeper relationship with Jesus Christ and multiple bands of brothers have helped him find the path to hope and healing. Through reaching up and reaching out, Pete’s story magnifies God’s glory.

Do you have a story you are willing to share? Email our Podcast Executive Director Jeremy at jeremy@unashamedunafraid.com.

EP 89: Anita's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 07 Nov 2023 10:56:25 -0700

Anita

Anita used to avoid looking at herself in the mirror to hide from deep feelings of shame and brokenness. Life started out rough for her and led to years of drug and sex addiction, abortion and an affair. Today though, she looks in the mirror and feels joy and is cherished by God. In this episode, she shares the story of her transformation: a journey from being broken, to being healed through Jesus and into a life of joyful service to other broken women. Steve sums up the episode with the word “Holy”. Cassy says it’s perspective-changing.

You can contact Anita via email at anita@jasminegrace.org or on the website www.jasminegrace.org.

Do you have a story you are willing to share? Email our Podcast Executive Director Jeremy at jeremy@unashamedunafraid.com.

EP 88: Kylie and Chris' Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 17 Oct 2023 09:00:00 -0600

“We are only standing where we are because of Jesus.” - Kylie

Wife of a pastor and worship leader, Kylie felt alone in her sex addiction which began in her late teens around the same time of her parent’s divorce. Her husband Chris had his own struggles with substance abuse and other addictions. Together they struggled to juggle an exterior life of ministering while internally battling their secret lives. Now unashamed and unafraid they are working on their recovery and sharing their story to help others identify with Jesus to find hope and healing.

You can contact Kylie (and Chris) by googling @kyliechrismond for her Instagram and Facebook pages.

Do you have a story you are willing to share? Email our Podcast Executive Director Jeremy at jeremy@unashamedunafraid.com.

EP 87: with Tony Overbay

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 03 Oct 2023 09:00:00 -0600

Family and personal therapist Tony Overbay dives in deep with James and Steve on many topics and shared this quote: “The strongest force in the human personality is to act in alignment with how you see yourself” which lead to a discussion of how identifying ourselves primarily as addicts is very limiting and can become a self-fulfilling prophecy which limits our ability to become “recover-e-d” as Steve puts it. Tony talks about the importance of understanding our human condition with iterative growth and pushing aside shame to instead focus on what we are doing right and how to do more of that.

To learn more about Tony and to connect with him, visit https://www.tonyoverbay.com/.

Do you have a story you are willing to share? Email our Podcast Executive Director Jeremy at jeremy@unashamedunafraid.com.

EP 86: with Marni Bown

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 26 Sep 2023 09:00:00 -0600

Marni opens her heart to share a painful marriage, turning her first husband over to Christ, managing through betrayal trauma, prayerful divorce, and how to move forward when her happily ever after was shattered. Moving out of her marriage was painful, but she kept her focus on her kids and deepened her relationship with God and began to find peace and eventually got remarried and has become a life coach to help others through their hope and healing.

Do you have a story you are willing to share? Email our Podcast Executive Director Jeremy at jeremy@unashamedunafraid.com.

EP 85: Tamara's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 05 Sep 2023 09:00:00 -0600

In this episode, Tamara joins Steve and Cassy to share her inspiring story of recovering from an addiction to pornography. Tamara’s struggle with addiction inspired her to learn more about God and as a result she developed a more meaningful connection with him. She no longer views Him as a “genie” but rather her friend who she loves dearly.

If you would like to connect with Tamara you can visit her website at www.Tamara-Kelly.com.

Do you have a story you are willing to share? Email our Podcast Executive Director Jeremy at jeremy@unashamedunafraid.com.

EP 84: John's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 01 Aug 2023 14:40:38 -0600

The authority you'll sense in John comes not from a best-selling book or successful podcast, but from a deep inner strength born of hard-fought victory over adversity. His journey began with a difficult childhood, where abuse and the loss of his father weighed heavily. As life unfolded, John fought battles with addiction, trauma and devastating losses, reaching a crushing low point that threatened to take everything. But a story of hope and resilience emerges as his recovery survives even the tragic death of a deeply-loved son. His secret sauce? A powerful alliance: fighting alongside God, his loyal wife, and a powerful brotherhood. This episode will leave you in awe of the human spirit and the triumph of faith.

Do you have a story you are willing to share? Email our Podcast Executive Director Jeremy at jeremy@unashamedunafraid.com.

EP 83: Evan and Missy's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Thu, 13 Jul 2023 09:30:00 -0600

In this episode, Evan and Missy share their inspiring story of how they found redemption and healing through Evan’s struggle with multiple addictions. Through Evan’s struggle with addiction, and the work he and Missy have done to recover, they were able to develop personal relationships with Jesus Christ, and their relationship has been able to heal.

Do you have a story you are willing to share? Email our Podcast Executive Director Jeremy at jeremy@unashamedunafraid.com.

Ep 82: Eric's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 20 Jun 2023 08:00:00 -0600

Eric speaks straight from the heart as he shares his journey of overcoming abuse, steep shame, lack of motivation, and low self-esteem to find recovery. This was not a short journey. Eric was first introduced to several recovery resources many years ago and he was even encouraged by his parents and girlfriend but nothing stuck until he found his own motivation. As a newlywed, Eric has been open with his wife about his struggles and has found his favorite recovery resources. Enjoy listening as he candidly shares.

If Eric’s story resonates with you, or if you know someone who needs a reminder of God’s open arms, please share the link to this episode with them. At Unashamed Unafraid, we are here to spread the words of hope and healing through Jesus Christ. Subscribe and follow us on Facebook and Instagram @UnashamedUnafraid.

Do you have a story you are willing to share? Email our Podcast Executive Producer Jeremy at jeremy@unashamedunafraid.com.

Ep 81: Madi's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 09 May 2023 08:00:00 -0600

Madi was 13 when she first encountered pornography. As a young Christian woman, she struggled to find resources online to help young women overcome addiction as most resources were for women who discovered their husband’s addiction and for men struggling with addiction. Feeling isolated and alone living a dual life, she finally got up the nerve to disclose what was going on to her father and local church leader. Madi reminds us that we are seen. That God loves us. That the battle is real, and we are enough when we are connected to God and others.

Click here for the text from Madi's dad: There is Only War

Do you have a story you are willing to share? Email our Podcast Executive Director Jeremy at jeremy@unashamedunafraid.com.

Madi’s Podcast

Google: Sisters On The Front Lines Podcast (google.com)

Apple: Sisters On The Front Lines Podcast on Apple Podcasts

Ep 80: Brady and Aubrey's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Mon, 17 Apr 2023 08:00:00 -0600

Brady and Aubrey share their story of redemption and healing from Brady’s struggle with pornography addiction. For years Brady felt he had to “out work” his addiction. Once Brady realized that God loved him individually, his recovery began. Brady and Aubrey share how his struggle with pornography addiction helped them both develop personal relationships with Jesus Christ, which has healed their relationship.

Do you have a story you are willing to share? Email our Podcast Executive Director Jeremy at jeremy@unashamedunafraid.com.

Ep 79: Devin and Joslyn's story

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 04 Apr 2023 08:35:00 -0600

Devin and Joslyn radiate with a powerful light, but their journey has been a challenge. Prior to their marriage, Devin opened up to Joslyn about his struggles with pornography. Joslyn worked for an addiction recovery program and knew the potential risks but saw Devin 'on his recovery game'. They married and things went well - for a while. Join us as we witness the transformative power of God in their lives.

Ep 78: Chandler and Jade

Unashamed Unafraid — Sun, 19 Mar 2023 16:36:11 -0600

Another great episode with a couple in recovery. When Chandler and Jade met each other, Chandler walked Jade through his journey of how he has struggled and what he is doing to overcome addiction. Jade spent time writing and working with God and chose to join Chandler in their combined path to continue to get to know God and let Him shape her perspective. To reach out and help others, Chandler created the Relay app at Jade’s urging to create a recovery community. Join us to hear the rest of their story.

Ep 77: Sathiya Sam

Unashamed Unafraid — Sun, 05 Mar 2023 17:50:00 -0700

Sathiya Sam is an author, and recovery coach and pastor for recovery. Sathiya is very passionate about this because he struggled with getting free from addiction and was frustrated by the lack of resources available for those who struggle with addiction and want to get out. Have a listen to his story and a taste of his book.

Ep. 76 Brotherhood

Unashamed Unafraid — Thu, 23 Feb 2023 17:42:12 -0700

Oftentimes men feel the need to fight their battles alone out of fear of appearing weak and incapable. A brotherhood can remind them that they’re not alone. In a brotherhood men truly care for each other and within the brotherhood there is safety to talk about any aspect of your life.

CT, Doug, and Seth join Steve and Jason to discuss what their brotherhood means to them and how it was formed through vulnerability with each other. They talk openly about how they’ve battled for each other’s hearts. This episode illustrates that you don’t need to live within a certain proximity of others to form a brotherhood of your own.

If this episode resonates with you, or you know someone who might benefit from it, please feel free to share the link to the episode with them. At Unashamed Unafraid, we are here to spread the words of hope and healing through Jesus Christ. Subscribe and follow us on Facebook and Instagram @UnashamedUnafraid.

Ep. 75 Devin and Tanna's story

Unashamed Unafraid — Sun, 12 Feb 2023 17:52:50 -0700

After Devin and Tanna agreed to tell their story on Unashamed Unafraid, they faced unexpectedly difficult obstacles and even thought about turning the car around on their way to the recording. We're very glad they fought through so we could share this beautiful episode that shines a light of hope on the sometimes very messy and confusing processes of recovery and healing.

Devin and Tanna share helpful insights through their story. Tanna talks about discovering the reality of pornography and later shares a personal story of childhood rejection and confirms that it matters. They share about their marriage today and Devin describes discovering that he's not alone in his addiction. You may just shed a tear when right there in the recording room, God confirms that he loves him deeply.

Ep 74: Josh and Heather's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Sun, 15 Jan 2023 15:10:52 -0700

Unashamed and unafraid, Josh boldly shares his story of a poser life by day and a life of acting out with multiple partners while trying to keep it a secret from his first wife by night. But now Josh is willing to give up everything to God to make things right and get back into good standing with his church, his family, and start new with his second wife Heather and her kids.

Heather’s story is one of struggling with her first husband who was also an addict. Thinking “never again” she was surprised to feel at peace when Josh revealed his struggles with his addiction and she found that the secrecy of her first husband hurt worse than the acting out. Within a week of her divorce being finalized, she said yes to Josh’s proposal two years ago despite him confessing to her when he’d been having a hard day and relapsed.

Josh’s story is one of redemption from living in his car to living his best life with Heather. Thinking he’d have to spend as many years in recovery as he’d spent in addiction, Josh has found Christ’s healing powers are not confined to the constraints of a calendar or stopwatch.

Heather’s story is one of continual work on their marriage and Heather has loved seeing how open Josh is to sharing his story to help others come out of shame and fear to embrace recovery and strengthen their relationship with Christ. Now their teenage boys are counting down the days until they are old enough to go to a warrior bootcamp weekend and are actively seeking out peers who are struggling.

Ep 73: Unashamed in 2023

Unashamed Unafraid — Sun, 01 Jan 2023 13:00:00 -0700

We at Unashamed Unafraid are just like you. Over the past year, we've struggled and experienced failures and successes as God has tried us, changed us and loved us. In this episode, we invite you to get to know us better as we share our favorite episodes and worship songs of 2022 and speak to our own personal struggles and growth. In addition, we celebrate what 2022 has meant to the podcast. Learn how donations have been used, about our new volunteer team members and about our vision for the future.

Most importantly, we follow our hearts to bring you hope and God's love in your own personal journeys to become unashamed of sexual addiction recovery and unafraid of coming unto Christ for healing. God's hope is 100 percent real. We're evidence of it.

"Music used with permission by: Hotham - Paradise Hope, Serge Quadrado - Sunrise Piano and Faith and Hope"

Ep 72: Smith's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Sun, 04 Dec 2022 16:26:10 -0700

“Criticism isn’t something to avoid. It is something you should expect when you are making it big.”

Sometimes our experiences can bring us more insight than years of study and practice. In this episode Smith Alley at age 18 shares perspectives and insights that rival therapists.

Smith had a “normal” life growing up. He had a mom and a dad who showed him love and he thought he was going to conquer the world. However, at age 6 his confidence came crashing down on him. You see, he had a stutter that when he was nervous would derail the train from his head to his mouth.

After he stumbled through introducing himself to his first grade class, he sat down, and immediately, he felt his identity attacked when a girl innocently asked, “Why don’t you talk right?” The adversary coaxed Smith into latching onto that identity and wearing it around his neck.

This made Smith feel like a fraud so he isolated himself but on the outside always grinning and bearing the sadness. At age 9 Smith innocently stumbled onto pornography. He did not think much of it until almost 10 months later. He was feeling so sad that his mind went back to when he saw his first pornographic image. So he consumed more and more.

Five years later, at the peak of his addiction, Smith describes himself as not feeling anything. He wasn’t sad, he wasn’t happy, he was just numb. He really liked this girl and she liked him. They both were consuming porn and decided to try some of the things they had seen. After the first encounter, Smith finally started to feel something. He remembers walking away from that experience and crying. He felt something! He decided that he wanted to get his life back and broke things off with this girl.

She was hurt and decided to lie and told her parents that Smith had forced her to have sex with him. That is when the facade came crashing down and his parents knew the truth.

The best thing that could have ever happened was his mom coming to him and saying, “Smith, I am going to fight for you but you must fight for yourself too!” Smith said he was willing to and attended the appointment she had scheduled with his church leader to talk to him about his addiction and the charges against him. Smith was extremely afraid of his church leader, however, his fears were calmed by a hug and the comfort he felt from Jesus Christ.

Since this experience, Smith has organized a non-profit organization which fights against pornography. He is a big advocate of not holding kids back. At 18 years old, he is making a difference in the world, living his best life. The song he shares at the end of this episode speaks to how emotionally connected he is to His Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.

If you want to be able to think differently about generation Z, you need to listen to this episode. Smith Alley shares so many great inspirational ideas and thoughts that it will change your perspective about Generation Z! If you think someone can benefit from this episode, we suggest you share it with them. We here, like Smith Alley are unashamed about our struggles with addiction, and unafraid of the healing power of Jesus Christ. If you want to know more you can find us on social media, Facebook and Instagram @UnashamedUnafraid.

Ep 71: Expectations and Expectancy with Marc Pimlser

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 25 Oct 2022 23:06:49 -0600

Choosing to Live in Expectancy

Join us as Steve and James sit down with Magic Marc once again, to explore the topics of living with expectations versus living in expectancy.

Marc explains that living with expectations means we have a tight attachment to end results. Those expectations are actually just premeditated resentments.

Often we place the highest expectations on ourselves. This can cause us to feel shame when we aren’t able to meet those expectations.

So, when you are trying to avoid carrying around unresolved resentments, how do you live without expectations? Marc’s solution is to live in expectancy.

What does living in expectancy mean? Living in expectancy helps us to have a looser grip on life. It allows room for God, creativity, and breathing. Expectancy allows the space and grace for imperfections and curiosity. It also allows for the spontaneity of the moment to arise.

Steve, Kayla, and James share their personal experiences of where they have set expectations. Marc helps them explore what living in expectancy can mean for them and as you listen you are invited to find where you can live in expectancy too.

To learn more about Marc Pimbsler visit his website at https://marcpimsler.com or tune into his podcast The Magic Well.

If this episode resonates with you, or if you know someone who might benefit from it, please share the link to this episode with them. At Unashamed Unafraid, we are here to spread the words of hope and healing through Jesus Christ. Subscribe and follow us on Facebook and Instagram @UnashamedUnafraid.

Ep 70: Humility and Confidence with D.J. Bishop

Unashamed Unafraid — Thu, 01 Sep 2022 16:48:42 -0600

D.J. Bishop is a client centered, experiential therapist, dedicated to helping people transform their life stories. His work focuses on supporting his clients in identifying and challenging harmful narratives and cultivating more connected relationships with themselves, their loved ones, and the world around them. D.J. is a unique therapist in that he “walks the walk.” Everything he asks his clients to do he’s done for himself in his own personal therapy work which gives D.J. a unique perspective.

In this episode, James, Steve, and D.J. discuss humility, confidence, and self care. D.J. explains how the function of humility changes for a person as they work through a 12 step recovery program. Step one requires humility for a person to admit they need help. By the time they arrive at step seven, humility is now the way this person maintains serenity. Humility is also a vehicle for connection. It helps us acknowledge that we don't know everything or have all the answers and there’s something to gain through connecting with another person, a higher power, or the earth.

D.J. describes confidence as being built upon self-worth which is derived from our level of self-care. The more we take time for self-care the more self-worth we will have, which in turn helps us feel more comfortable in our own skin. D.J. shares that in the same way addiction is a maladaptive form of self-care, recovery gives us an opportunity to reclaim our self-care for mind, body, and spirit.

If you’re interested in working with D.J. you may contact him at the following:

Richard “D.J.” Bishop LPC, LAC

https://www.djbtherapy.com/

(850) 572-3178

dj@djbtherapy.com

If this episode resonates with you, or you know someone who might benefit from it, please feel free to share the link to the episode with them. At Unashamed Unafraid, we are here to spread the words of hope and healing through Jesus Christ. Please subscribe and follow us on Facebook and Instagram @UnashamedUnafraid

Ep 69 with Sami Bingham

Unashamed Unafraid — Fri, 29 Jul 2022 16:26:16 -0600

The Sami Bingham Story

When I was eighteen years old. I did not have anything figured out. I knew that I had to go on a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints; then go to school and get married. But what did I want to do? I had no clue what I wanted to do. That is not the case for Sami Bingham. She is a financial coach for her company Financial Business Solutions.She is a certified coach of Dave Ramsey Financial Solutions.

Sami grew up in an artistic household. Her dad was an actor, director, producer and English major. Her mother was a dancer. So, naturally, she wanted to be on Broadway. She studied at Salt Lake School of performing arts. She also received a scholarship to the University of Utah to study musical theater.

So, why is Sami’s name not on the big lights on Broadway right now? It is because she realized the environment within the performing arts was not a very secure and stable one. The culture can be very cutthroat and discouraging. That is when she went to her parents and told them she wanted to work individually with people and help them with their finances. So, naturally, performing arts goes hand in hand with accounting right? Sami found a lot of happiness in helping those people who could not see for themselves what money was doing to them and their relationships. She has some personal experience with this from her first marriage.

There were times in her first marriage when she did not know where the money was coming from to pay bills. Her ex-husband would sell off personal items to pawn shops to cover bills. Her ex sold off a very expensive guitar to a pawn shop. Sami felt betrayed about this because she had given that guitar to him on their first anniversary.

Sami realized that something had to change. She realized that she needed to change her view and behavior with money. She realized this type of behavior is also found in pretty much every addictive behavior. She was not proud of the life she was living. She felt unworthy of Christ’s love and therefore did not go to church or have much of a relationship with Him before she married her first husband.

After she was married, she realized she needed Jesus Christ in her life. Through the dark days of her marriage she knew she could only rely on Christ. She also has come clean about some struggles with porn addictions and has been sober since she started listening to the podcast. She wants those who are going through similar struggles with finances, betrayal or addictive behaviors to know they are stronger than they think they are. There is always a way out.

We are all stronger for getting to know Sami. She is an amazing person that has lived through both sides of addiction. She has felt betrayal, and been the one struggling with addiction. If you would like to know more about Sami Bingham you can visit her website, https://ramseycoach.com/financial-behavior-solutions You can also find her on Instagram and Facebook @financialbehaviorsolutions.

We here at UnashamedUnafraid are also giving away two scholarships to Sami’s coaching classes. Please go to www.unashamedunafraid.com/scholarships for more information. If this episode resonates with you, or if you know someone who might benefit from it, please share the link to this episode with them. At Unashamed Unafraid, we are here to spread the words of hope and healing through Jesus Christ. Subscribe and follow us on Facebook and Instagram @UnashamedUnafraid.

Ep 68: Troy's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Wed, 08 Jun 2022 06:00:00 -0600

The only relationship you need in order to find recovery is with God. In this episode, Jason jumps to the other side of the mic with Steve to talk to Troy about his journey through his addiction and subsequent divorce.

Growing up Troy held on to two beliefs. The first, that he could never tell anyone about his addiction and second, that he would never be worthy. He grew up feeling that he was his father’s least favorite son and translated some of that belief to his perception of how God saw him; feeling that he always had to prove he was worth something. After serving a mission Troy quickly got married and he describes those early years of marriage as being very miserable because he felt unsafe to let his wife see any of his weaknesses. Troy checked out of his marriage and fell hard back into his struggle with addiction which soon escalated. He felt caught in the exhausting circle of trying to hide his addictive actions and still continue to seek addiction.

Even with a second chance in his marriage, when he witnessed amazing changes in his wife, he struggled to overcome the shame of his previous actions and thought he didn’t deserve to be happy. Troy shares how wonderful and supportive his wife was through his struggle. He admits he was white knuckling and while being stationed overseas he soon dove back into his addiction. His wife’s discovery brought an end to their marriage.

Troy tenderly shares the pain of his shame, and how encompassing it became. His divorce brought on depression and suicidal thoughts. Hope wasn’t immediate, but a sliver of hope came from hearing Chris and Autumn's story. Troy learned that God speaks to him through stories and he shares some of those stories with Steve and Jason.

Through enduring the loss of his marriage he realized he needed to fight for his needs and for his relationship with his kids. Troy found that in letting go of his need to validate his worthiness from others, his relationship with God deepened. He now knows that God sees him as beloved, is crazy about him and about each one of us.

If this episode resonates with you, or you know someone who might benefit from it, please feel free to share the link to the episode with them. At Unashamed Unafraid, we are here to spread the words of hope and healing through Jesus Christ. Please subscribe and follow us on Facebook and Instagram @UnashamedUnafraid

Ep 67: Codependency with "Magic" Marc Pimsler

Unashamed Unafraid — Fri, 20 May 2022 08:07:29 -0600

Codependency: Don’t Worry About Me.

I often ask myself if I am okay. Most of the time I don’t wait for the answer because this world is so crazy busy that I don’t take time to stop and listen to my body, mind, or soul. If you’re like me, this episode is a great episode to stop, drop, and scroll. Stop what you are doing, drop into a chair, and scroll into the app of your choice that you use to listen to Unashamed Unafraid. You’re not going to want to miss this one. James and Steven sit down and talk with “Magic” Marc.

Marc Pimsler, is a man who’s been gifted with a big heart and does a lot with his gift. He’s willing and able to sit in a room with you and mourn with you, laugh with you, cry with you, and help you through the issues in your life. After all, we all have a ton of issues to work out. Sometimes, our issues need a good therapist like Marc. This is why we call him Magic Marc. In this episode, Marc dives into the term, codependency. What does it mean? Why do we talk about it? And how do we know we have it?

Codependency has been a word that has “plagued” the psychology world for some time. They first started talking about it in terms of co-addict. When that term seemed too harsh they came up with codependent. This means that you are making yourself (emotions, needs, wants, etc) small in order to allow someone you care about to get their needs, wants, and desires met. Magic Marc states, “Being codependent is for me to regulate my needs in order to take care of you.”

So, what does this even mean? If you’re a connected person who allows your emotions to exist and tries to understand them, then you’re not experiencing codependency. He calls being codependent as having the “duck effect.” You appear to be calm, connected, rooted, etc, while under the surface you’re dysregulated, disconnected, and discombobulated.

Some of the physical signs of being disconnected include hypertension, lymes disease, autoimmune disorders, etc. Marc says, “Most physical symptomatology has its root in the emotional space.” This is an incredible realization for me. There is so much information in this episode that I am going to have to listen to this several times.

If this episode resonates with you, or if you know someone who might benefit from it, please share the link to this episode with them. At Unashamed Unafraid, we are here to spread the words of hope and healing through Jesus Christ. Subscribe and follow us on Facebook and Instagram @UnashamedUnafraid.

Ep 66: Mike & Tami's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Sun, 24 Apr 2022 15:06:08 -0600

Mike and Tami

Do you ever feel like your marriage is a business partnership? This is how Mike and Tami describe their marriage for many years, just business. Tami was focused on being a mom. She was content in the role of motherhood which was all she ever wanted. Mike was struggling with shame in his addiction. They were running the family business but not truly connecting with each other.

This story is very special to co-host James as Mike is James' childhood friend. James has been along Mike’s side through his whole journey. There were times they were just hanging out as bros, both quietly struggling. Later they opened up about their struggles and have supported each other.

Mike spent many years struggling with the cycle of trying to stop his pornography addiction. He describes seeking validation from Tami sexually. He held onto a lot of bitterness and felt justified in his addiction.

For Mike, stepping away from the shame of his addiction helped him find sobriety. This however, did not fix the disconnection in his marriage. Mike and Tami share the difficult moments in their marriage when they question if they loved each other and if their marriage would really make it.

Now they are continually learning to connect and find true emotional intimacy in their relationship. Mike learned that God never turned his back on him. He is waiting for all of us with open arms.

If this episode resonates with you, or if you know someone who needs a reminder of God’s open arms, please share the link to this episode with them. At Unashamed Unafraid, we are here to spread the words of hope and healing through Jesus Christ. Subscribe and follow us on Facebook and Instagram @UnashamedUnafraid

Ep 64: Rod's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Mon, 14 Mar 2022 10:02:00 -0600

At a young age Rod realized he loved looking at girls. His fascination started at his grandparent’s home with a swimsuit edition of a certain magazine. Like many who struggle, he kept his addiction quiet thinking it would go away with marriage. After he had been married for a few years, and realizing his struggle was ongoing, Rod had a desire to be honest with his wife.

His path through disclosure and opening up to his children is not one he would recommend. Rod faced severe distrust in his marriage and initially struggled to find true recovery despite efforts to confess to his bishop and work through therapy and life coaching with his wife.

Rod opens up with Chris and James about his rock bottom moment of knowing his marriage was over and the decision to change for himself and not anyone else. He shares how he was guided to the warrior heart boot camp, his recovery group and his morning revival. Rod demonstrates recovery is possible after a failed marriage.

His girlfriend, Heather shares how she overcame one of her list of absolutes, that she would never date anyone who was an addict. In getting to know Rod, she changed her perspective and more importantly shares how his recovery has impacted her own relationship with Jesus Christ.

Here are some clips Rod shares that are part of his morning revival.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Jqp2cPlK8oI

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=XBbV0jn_Cxo

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=nZvf_-331t0

Ep 63: Jim and Leisha's Story- Healing is Real

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 22 Feb 2022 08:36:23 -0700

Not all addicts begin their struggles in their childhood or youth. Jim’s addiction struggle started a little later in life. Married with a young family, his life began to change as he descended into addiction.

Honesty is very difficult for addicts yet so crucial to the healing process. For Jim, being fully honest with himself and with those affected by his addiction came in waves. This struggle to be fully honest negatively affected his wife’s trust and intensified her betrayal trauma. Coming to terms and expelling the secrets was a process for Jim over a period of time.

Jim speaks of the release and relief of no longer keeping secrets. Honesty truly starts the path to healing. Though sometimes a slow process, healing is real and attainable. Joy, peace, and release from pain can be found.

Jim and Leisha share with the Unashamed Unafraid team a very personal journey of his struggle with addiction. They each give their perspective of how addiction affected their perception and personal relationship with God. They speak of hope, and healing. All are worthy of this beautiful gift.

Ep 61: Unashamed for the New Year 2022

Unashamed Unafraid — Wed, 05 Jan 2022 19:10:05 -0700

The entire U/U Crew meet to talk about 2021. What was everyone’s song of healing for the year? How many outsiders are there and just how is that non-profit doing? They each share their hearts and get vulnerable and real. No surprises there.
The crew reveals their plans for 2022 as a group and individually.
Thank you for everything you all do and for listening to this podcast. Happy New Year from the U/U Crew. We love you!
- Steven, James, Chris, CT, Jason, Sway, Rachel, Cory and Cassy

Ep 60: Relationships: Communication, Conflict, and Connection with Daniel Burgess

Unashamed Unafraid — Fri, 17 Dec 2021 20:00:00 -0700

Relationships: Communication, Conflict, and Connection

Daniel is welcomed back to Unashamed Unafraid for a deep dive with Steve and Chris into something every relationship can improve on, communication.

Many of us have never had great examples of what healthy communication within relationships looks like. In this episode, therapist Daniel Burgess shares his four do’s and don’ts for healthy communication in our relationships.

Daniel gained his unique perspective while working with contentious relationships in divorce court and developed the process he shares, which includes:

1. Start by assuming the best from your partner.

2. Incorporate the four Do’s and Don’ts

Don’t - Prove, defend, convince, or retaliate
Do Be: Clear, concise, confident, and caring

3. Avoid the divorce equation, for example “if you loved me…”

Daniel shares his personal experience of applying these tools in his own life and explains how they worked for him. He discusses his perspective about the importance of having difficult conversations in front of our kids so they can see how it is possible to navigate through the messy.

He suggests that difficult conversations should be scheduled for a specific time, and duration. And also stresses that these tools shouldn’t be used as an excuse for bad behavior nor to be used against the other person.

Learning how to communicate is a process over time and involves perspective. We are all craving empathetic connection. This episode will help you in your relationships to better know your limits and learn to communicate difficult things in a loving way.

You can find Daniel through his website at www.danielaburgess.com or by listening to his podcast ”Improving Intimacy.”

If this episode resonates with you, or you know someone who might benefit from it, please share the link to the episode with them. At Unashamed Unafraid, we are here to spread the words of hope and healing through Jesus Christ. Please subscribe and follow us on Facebook and Instagram @UnashamedUnafraid.

Ep 59: How to Make Repair with Daniel Burgess

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 14 Dec 2021 08:23:27 -0700

In our world today there is a lot of violence: physically, emotionally, and spiritually. You see it almost everywhere. Too often our first reaction to harm or hurt is to put our dukes up and punch back or go running the other direction, fight or flight. Although both are generally good options for survival they aren’t always the best for recovery. One thing that many of us struggle with in recovery is being accountable and making repair. Saying a sincere “I’m sorry” is an important step. Beyond that is repair. This is where I make right the wrong, also known as step 9 if you’re working the 12 Steps.

Turns out, I am still actively working recovery and still struggle with many of the things we talk about here at Unashamed Unafraid. This episode is about repair that I needed to make with my now friend, Daniel Burgess. I made assumptions about Daniel and chose to take his episode down. His first response in an e-mail to me, not great. So Dukes up? Or should I ignore him and write him off as crazy or a jerk? Instead something amazing happened, repair. We both got curious and opened our hearts and here is what happened. I hope this episode inspires you to get curious where you may have been judgmental and make repair where needed because it was a beautiful experience for me and my new friend Daniel.

Steve
Rapper Host

Ep 58: Derek's Story: Climbing Out From Multiple Addictions

Unashamed Unafraid — Mon, 25 Oct 2021 13:41:38 -0600

“Where the hell are you, God?”

This is a common question for those in pain and in the depths of struggle and darkness. Finding rock bottom can be a rough journey downward. The positive is that from rock bottom, one can only climb upward. The climb can be very difficult alone and is always easier with help from others.

The reason addictions develop is because people are trying to cope with painful wounds - wounds of neglect, wounds of betrayal, wounds of isolation. What starts out as innocently dabbling for relief can quickly spiral out of control and leave one saying “How did I get to this point in my life?”

Our turning point is often a powerful, humbling, and vulnerable experience with God, who is there with open arms ready to help. Sometimes, it may take years to reach this turning point. It is only with His help that we can rise above, find sobriety, and become a renewed and different person being able to break the chains of the past.

Derek sits down with the Unashamed Unafraid team to share his very personal journey with addictions. He shares insight about his childhood, his early youth, and how certain experiences helped him initially brush the outskirts of addiction before more fully diving in. He speaks of his struggles with various addictions, and how he battled to find sobriety and recovery from each one. This listen is a very authentic and honest review of his life, his experiences, and how he found hope, and a relationship with God that has allowed for a brighter path in his life.

Ep 57: Life Beyond Recovery with Doug Nielsen

Unashamed Unafraid — Wed, 13 Oct 2021 22:49:23 -0600

Have you ever heard the phrase once an addict, always an addict? I’ve certainly heard it during my lifetime. It is a creative bumper sticker to describe who you are—but is that truly who you are as a person? Chris, James, and Steve go on a journey with Doug Nielsen to find out what to do when you are wanting to take that next step, the step beyond recovery.

I know some of us who are struggling (or have struggled) with an addiction are thinking, “I can’t even fathom what life looks like without addiction.” Well, what we need is a new identity after recovery. When we are recovered, we need to know who we are. Doug says,

“It is impossible, over time, to behave differently than the way you see yourself. That is the governor of my behavior.”

A lot of people who are struggling with addiction trade their true identities for the fake one that only focuses on the addiction. This is the way the enemy of our hearts works. The adversary wants to stifle our purpose in this life. He will attack the person who Heavenly Father sees in us.

In fact, Doug talks about a client who said that he did not know who he was. Doug told him that the man he saw in the 15 minutes they had been together was a man, who is loved, who is courageous, and who fights for the underdog. The words that describe a person are the reason for their existence, their purpose, and the larger story.

The most important phrase that Christ said was “I am…” He described himself in powerful ways. So, how can we find out who we are? We must take a risk. Life is full of risks. We believe things through fear or faith. They both have the same definition. We believe in something that cannot be seen but will ultimately happen.

We must take life by the helm. This so happens to be the title of Doug’s book. Doug believes there are three things that we can do to jumpstart our progress into being recovered.

We must slow down. We can do the 4-4-8 breathing exercise. It only takes a few seconds and will help us calm down.
We need to listen. When we listen after we have slowed down, God will speak to us. He has a lot he wants to tell us. We have just taken that away from him by living a life at 64,000 RPMs. Our brains and bodies were not meant to live life that fast.
We must act on it. The third one is the hardest to do, we often find ourselves falling back into the same routines because they are comfortable.

There are great ways for us to listen. We must ask our friends, family, and Heavenly Father what three words describe us; our true selves. Then we take those three words and read them in the morning, throughout the day, and during the end of day evaluation. We think about those words constantly. We ask ourselves, “What examples of these words have I done today?” We will connect ourselves to these three words. If we take a 90 day challenge and apply these three words in our lives, we will become the three words.

Bottom line, we must know our purpose. Doug ends by saying that we actually choose our purpose instead of discovering it. If this episode resonates with you, or you know someone who might benefit from it, please feel free to share the link to the episode with them. At Unashamed Unafraid, we are here to spread the words of hope and healing through Jesus Christ. Please subscribe and follow us on Facebook and Instagram @UnashamedUnafraid.

Ep 56: Rob's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Wed, 25 Aug 2021 08:43:46 -0600

“Ultimate Poser”: That’s how Rob describes himself when he was at the height of his sexual addiction. Take a listen as Steve and James start not at the beginning, but at the bottom of Rob’s story as he shares how working through fears and loss. Rob describes how ultimately his path led to him to discovering, not the guy not on either side of his poser life, but the third guy who God wanted him to be.

Rob was married with three children, working as an employee of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. He felt he had a testimony of the gospel and thought he was connecting with his wife yet at the same time continued to act out in his sexual addiction. He and his wife had begun the road to recovery but Rob was not changing. The moment he was caught by the police when soliciting a prostitute brought him to his therapist’s door in the middle of one of his sessions. After waiting hours to talk to his therapist, Rob was told in his therapy session, “you can either change your life or you will end it, it’s your choice.”

Rob chose change. Deciding to be honest brought the realization of all of his fears. In the aftermath, while sitting in his parents basement, he recognized he was still alive despite all of his pain. He somehow found the strength to ask, “What do I really believe in?”, “Who do I think I am?”, “What does God think of me?” and began to search for the answers.

Rob shares a tender experience how he witnessed the pain his choices and actions had inflicted on his wife. Rob has found sobriety. Yet his story shows us life in recovery is not black and white. Healing brought divorce, then dating, and ultimately a beautiful second marriage.

On the other side of Rob’s poser life he speaks truth. With years of sobriety he has found a new purpose working as a therapist for Lifestar. Rob feels God has given him the gift to speak to the hearts of men about love and being worthy of God’s love.

Does Rob’s story of his former poser life resonate with you? If you or someone you know is struggling with a sex addiction, Unashamed Unafraid is the podcast and website for you! Please visit our website at unashamedunafraid.com or look us up on social media @UnashamedUnafraid

Ep 55: Changing Our Default: Sam Teilemans

Unashamed Unafraid — Fri, 06 Aug 2021 22:25:43 -0600

You may have heard the saying, “Once an addict always an addict.” But is it true? In the opinion of the UU crew, this statement is incongruent with Christ’s healing atonement. We believe that Christ can change people forever. Sometimes that change comes with the assistance of professional therapists and others, but ultimate healing is the work of Jesus Christ.

Sam Teilemans believes that the language we use is powerful. For example, he says that it may be more helpful to say, “I struggle with addiction or addictive behavior” rather than identify as an addict. Steve and Chris sit down with Sam Teilemans to discuss the power of language as well as how a person who is struggling with addictive cycles can be free of unwanted behaviors.

Sam’s therapeutic strategy involves working to remove shame from a person’s actions by asking questions about how they may have been feeling or “triggered” in a certain situation. This allows them to explore what lies beneath certain behaviors and possibly tap into subconscious emotions or thoughts.

Sam explains the importance of tapping into the subconscious because he believes, “The conscious mind is the goal-setter, and the subconscious mind is the goal-getter.” He believes that when we consciously focus on a goal, the subconscious mind can get on board with that and will help us achieve what we desire. But when we decide to stop focusing on the goal our subconscious mind goes back to the way things were before.

Since the subconscious mind drifts to what is natural, Sam works with his clients to figure out what their triggers are. Then he works to break default natural tendencies and reframe them so the subconscious has a new way of reacting toward what you are doing or experiencing. In this way, the subconscious carries out the goal of the conscious mind rather than working against it. This may be a new and different avenue of therapy for people to try who have struggled with addictive behaviors.

The subconscious work that Sam does with his clients also involves trusting in Jesus Christ. Trusting that Christ is there to save, not condemn, those in this struggle. Science and the mind whether it is conscious or subconscious can only get you so far. Christ can truly free us from the shame and the guilt that happens after we have fed the addiction beast. Please have a listen to this amazing episode.

Ep 54: Ashlee's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Fri, 09 Jul 2021 09:58:51 -0600

At Unashamed Unafraid we share real stories with you that prove sexual addiction has no bounds of age, background, or gender, and that recovery is possible for anyone. Yes, women struggle too and here is more proof as Ashlee, our 2nd female to share on the podcast, opens up about her struggle with sexual addiction. We invite you to listen as Steve and Chris challenge Ashlee to abandon her notes and go off-script, sharing her story Unashamed-style, from the heart.

Ashlee discusses how her addiction to pornography began after her parents gave her a smart phone when she was 12. She describes the shame she felt as she struggled to live up to the “perfect child” image her parents had of her as she was growing up.

In the middle of her teen years her family moved from their farm and homeschool lifestyle to a neighborhood where Ashlee found herself adjusting to a traditional high school. As she sought for ways to numb out she plunged deeper in her addiction to pornography and masturbation. She kept this a secret from everyone until one day her cousin opened up about a struggle she was having and this opened the door for Ashlee to finally share about her addiction. She talked with her bishop and began making lifestyle changes that helped her stop viewing pornography.

However, about 6 months later, a surgery brought on new challenges for Ashlee in which she developed an eating disorder. Her desire to numb from her eating addiction drove her back to her pornography addiction.

Overwhelmed and feeling alone Ashlee searched for anyone she could relate to but couldn’t find any women who were open about having similar struggles. In her search she found Collin Kartchner’s podcast where Ashlee first shared her story publicly. From there she was able to share her story through multiple venues but she felt like a hypocrite as she still secretly struggled with masturbation.

As Ashlee has come to understand God’s love for her, and as she has found other women who share similar struggles, she has started to find healing.

Ashlee invites you to reach out to her through direct message on Instagram @ashleeayre.

Resources: Daughters of Light, https://lifechangingservices.online/daughtersoflight

Has Ashlee’s story hit home for you? If you or someone you know is struggling with a sex addiction, Unashamed Unafraid is the podcast and website for you! Please visit our website at unashamedunafraid.com or look us up on social media @UnashamedUnafraid.

Ep 53: Honesty in Relationships with Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 08 Jun 2021 19:32:13 -0600

Honesty in Relationships with Jennifer Finlayson-Fife

Steve and James sit down with Jennifer Finlayson-Fife JFF and talk about what it means to be truly human; fully alive. Where does it all start? That dreaded word Honesty. Honesty is the foundation of being fully human and truly alive.

But why do we shy away from being fully human if that is what all of us want? Don’t we want to be seen for who we are? Do we want to be a part of the larger story? Do we want to become the person that is perfect?

Being perfect is not being human. JFF said, “I don’t blame us for wanting a world free of suffering. The path is not perfectionism. This will stunt our ability to become ‘Fully Human’. This (perfectionism) is in complete opposition to the definition of being human.”

Being human hurts. We see that from the example of the most human person ever to live, Jesus Christ. He was honest about everything in his life and yet people hated him for that. This is why most people decide to live in their own smaller story instead of God’s larger story. They don’t really want to be seen because it hurts too much. JFF says otherwise:

“There is nothing that makes a spouse safer than honesty. They may not trust you. But, the moment that you come clean and are completely honest, it is the most safe place in your marriage.”

When we let go of who we want people to think we are…perfect, we let go of the counterfeit self. We let go of the shame and guilt of not being able to live up to our (and other’s) expectations. We become fully human; seen, heard and loved. So, back to the question of should you be here? Does your life make a difference? Do you want to be fully seen and heard? The answer is a resounding

YES

JFF talks about so much more in this episode with Steve and James. You’ll love this episode. If you want more from JFF, please visit [Finlayson-Fife.com]. There are lots of resources for men and women. It is a self-paced course. She also has office hours and Facebook pages. This is a place with great support to other men and women as well. We also have scholarships for JFF’s courses:

The Art of Desire https://www.finlayson-fife.com/courses/course/the-art-of-desire and

The Art of Loving https://www.finlayson-fife.com/courses/course/the-art-of-loving

Go to unashamedunafraid.com/scholarships and apply for your scholarship TODAY!

If this episode resonates with you or you know someone who might benefit from it, please share the link to the episode with them. At Unashamed Unafraid, we are here to spread the words of hope and healing through Jesus Christ. Please subscribe and follow us on Facebook and Instagram @UnashamedUnafraid.

We are also a non-profit 501(c)(3) organization and have scholarships for those who can’t otherwise afford therapy, group therapy, A Warrior Heart Boot Camp, or the Heart of a Woman retreat. Please go to the website unashamedunafraid.com for more information on these scholarships and many other resources.

Ep 52: Cassy's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Fri, 30 Apr 2021 08:03:00 -0600

Is pornography addiction a man’s problem? Religious groups place emphasis and belief on this. In a sense, there is some truth with this mindset. Porn media starting in the 50’s was primarily developed for men. The ensuing decades followed suit, developing for, and catering to men. Pornography became part of the man’s world.

Over the past few decades, the man’s world mindset has been slowly eroding. With this erosion, the porn industry has realized an untapped market share - women. Women are being pressured to view, escape into, and find comfort and self confidence with sexual content. The carefully crafted message is getting women hooked.

Is pornography addiction still then solely a man’s problem? Absolutely not. Women are becoming addicted and having the same if not more difficult struggles with pornography addiction.

The expectation that this addiction is a man’s problem, or something that a future husband might struggle with, sets an unspoken expectation that women don’t and shouldn’t struggle with sexual addiction. This can be quite shaming to a woman who silently and painfully struggles.

Cassy sits down with the Unashamed Unafraid team to share the story of her addiction struggle and gives incredible insight from a different perspective. Her journey out of isolation has been transforming and she has come to truly find and connect with God.

Ep 51: Anonymous Q and A with Miss Courtney

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 20 Apr 2021 22:08:08 -0600

Q&A with Courtney Leak, LCSW

James and Steve sit down with therapist Courtney Leak to dive into questions submitted by our listeners. As always, the questions are real, raw, and unashamed about sexual addiction, as are the answers discussed by Courtney, Steve, and James. Courtney pulls from over ten years of experience in helping people. Not only is she an experienced therapist, she co-hosts the mental health and wellness podcast “The Magic Well.” Courtney’s purpose and approach is fueled by her core belief that “Everyone is naturally equipped with what they need to find and meet their purpose.” She believes it is often hidden under fear, hurt, and negative views of themselves. “However, if people are willing to own their story, minus the fear and shame, they can embrace their true selves. They will live abundantly in their purpose.” Courtney uses this approach to lead a deep discussion about varying questions regarding many addiction-related topics. As always, these questions have come from listeners of Unashamed Unafraid.

Do pornography use and anger have any connection?

They absolutely have a connection. Anger going unaddressed can lead to rage. This is unhealthy anger and should be talked about and worked through. Oftentimes, there will need to be a therapist involved in this.

How can I support (in a healthy way) a potential spouse or partner if they begin to open up about their sexual addiction in the dating phase of our relationship? What pitfalls can I avoid there?

This is a great question. It is not anyone but the addict’s job to help them find recovery. You can support him/her, but can’t control him/her. Courtney calls the two approaches Intimate and Parentified relationships. Be careful of falling in love with potential. People don’t owe us a version of them that we want them to be. We are not guaranteed to grow and expand in the same direction.

Is it okay for me to be happy with progress even if I am still not 100% sober? Should I expect my spouse to recognize that progress?

Obviously, we all want to be on our “A” game all the time. However, we are human. We need to avoid abusing each other and work on ourselves. We also need to practice extending grace to ourselves and others. This is necessary to do the hard work to heal the wound. The addict needs to give their spouse space for their anger and pain.

I’m afraid of sharing about my relapses with the people closest to me. I’m afraid of what they will think. Will they treat me differently? How can I best handle accountability? How can I cope with the fear of abandonment?

We all need to be vulnerable with those closest to us. How we do that is by getting clear about the facts. If things are still difficult to disclose with your loved ones/religious community, find a group of others who you can share with openly without fear and shame.

Who is safe to share personal trials and struggles with? How do I know who to open up to about the most intimate things about us, and how can I do so in a way that is helpful and avoids damaging them or me?

One of the best ways that Courtney has found to deal with this is to speak from our scars, not our wounds. Maybe there is something holding us back that we need to look at and listen to. We need to go to our Father in Heaven and ask Him who is safe to share our innermost thoughts and feelings. We need to be okay with those answers we receive from Him. Don’t mix up the proximity or relationship with a person’s capacity.

If my spouse is refusing to be open with me and step into recovery, but I still want to stay married, what do I do?

If he doesn’t want to recover, he won’t. Do your own work and decide what you want to do. Figure out why this is such an issue for you and why his decisions are wrecking your life. Take care of yourself because you can’t control him. Ask yourself this question, “What is your boundary based on the other person’s truth?”

We hope you enjoyed this podcast. These are all real questions that most of us have struggled with. Courtney’s loving, yet completely straightforward, no-nonsense approach cuts straight to the heart of each of these questions. Her answers definitely help us dive deep into finding our answers. This podcast isn’t just about the answers, it is about how they are discussed. Courtney sets a strong example that we can all follow. She shows us how to talk about things that may be difficult or shameful for us. She steps into it willingly, embraces the hard, and leads us forward into vulnerability and healing.

If you or someone you know is struggling with a sex addiction, Unashamed Unafraid is the podcast and website for you. Please visit our website at unashamedunafraid.com or look us up on social media @UnashamedUnafraid.

Resources:

Podcast:
- The Magic Well - Apple Podcasts https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-magic-well/id1530276246

Ep 50: Fatherlessness with Rob Chidester

Unashamed Unafraid — Fri, 19 Mar 2021 10:44:25 -0600

Fake it ‘til you make it. This is a common phrase many of us cling to when we are unsure of what we are doing. Be it a new job, being newly married, or trying to fix something, there is the hope that if we seem to know what we are doing, eventually we really will know what we are doing.

Steve, Chris and James sit down with Rob Chidester and talk about Fatherlessness. All of us are Fatherless in many ways as we come from imperfect earthly fathers who cannot father us all the ways we need to be fathered all the time. Rob is a therapist, but we know him from A Warrior Heart Boot Camp. Rob is one of the founders of Warrior Heart and started the Boot Camp in 2009.

We have a need to be mentored, guided or ‘fathered’ as we develop in our masculinity. Having help and guidance from someone who has walked the walk, is invaluable.

A young man entering into manhood needs fathering. The phrase “It takes a village” is quite applicable in that masculine bestowal can come from one’s father, an uncle, a grandfather, or other men who can help guide, lend wisdom and experience as part of the initiation and transition into manhood.

Without this guidance from fellow men, there is a tendency to become insecure in one’s masculinity, and the struggle of faking it until making it will ensue. Quite often, fatherlessness can trickle over into the realms of addiction. The subconscious need to fill the void or ease the pain becomes priority often leading to years of turmoil, struggle, and heartache.

Is all lost? No.

There is hope. Our Father, God, can and will heal our masculine hearts. He will provide fathering so desperately needed. This is a process, but ultimately worth the journey. In this episode, Rob Chidester gives an in-depth plunge into Fatherlessness, and how to allow God’s help to heal.

Ep 49: Max’s Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Thu, 25 Feb 2021 07:32:19 -0700

If you or someone you know is a single twenty-something, who is battling a sexual addiction, Max’s story will hit home. His journey begins as a young boy when his childhood is cut short by the dissolution of his family and the ensuing aftermath. The wounds of his childhood are cut deeper by the loss of an intimate relationship and he plummets into a dark depression, with addiction as his only parachute. Eventually, he turns and faces the God that he has fled for so long and healing begins.

Max’s addiction began as a curiosity at ten years old after being exposed to pornography by his brother and cousin at a sleepover. Curiosity would quickly evolve into addiction as he suffered through trauma after trauma that would rob him of his childhood. In sixth grade, his parents separated. In seventh, his mother attempted suicide. In eighth, his parents divorced.

After enduring these painful experiences, Max set out to be the perfect child in an effort to prevent adding trouble to an already troubled family. Even in all of this, Max was baptized and confirmed in the Catholic church. Yet felt that God was distant. His father had taught him that he had to earn everything in life, so why wouldn’t he have to earn God’s love?

Max saw a glimmer of hope while dating his girlfriend from high school into college - he opened up to her and started addressing the wounds of loss and betrayal from his childhood. While the relationship offered a safe space, it became very codependent. Max was thrown into a downward spiral when the relationship ended and entered what would be the height of his addiction. He fell into a deep depression to the point of suicidal thinking and acted out multiple times a day to numb the pain.

Healing began in the form of talks with his mother. Who guided him out of the dark place where she had once been. He began attending the Catholic church where he felt loved and accepted unconditionally. His vulnerability and courage led him to a few other men in his congregation who were seeking sobriety. Ultimately, Max courageously formed his own band of brothers who are fighting for recovery together.

Max now sees God as a “passionate lover”, to use the words of John Eldredge. He finds himself praying constantly and invites God into every moment. He sees now that whenever he was surfing the internet for porn, he was really “surfing for God”, and that God was searching for him all along. For those single 18-22 year-olds doubting if they can follow Max’s path, he says “God will reward you for your courage. Find your own band of brothers and start recovery together.”

Resources:

Books
- Wild at Heart by John Elderidge (ever heard of it?)
- Surfing for God: Discovering the Divine Desire Beneath Sexual Struggle by John M. Cusick
Groups: make your own “Band of Brothers!”
Song: “Love Broke Thru” - Toby Mac

Ep 48: With the Dating Divas

Unashamed Unafraid — Fri, 12 Feb 2021 21:47:28 -0700

To romance or to ROMANCE - Questions For The Dating Divas

Have you ever wondered how to romance and date your wife? Have you forgotten how? We all know the joke, “What is the thing that makes a woman’s libido disappear?” Wedding Cake. Insert Laugh here. But romance also goes out the window when a man gets married too. Most guys struggle with romancing their wives. Well, you are in luck! Unashamed Unafraid interviewed two of the women, Heather (Site Director) and Becca (Vice President) from The Dating Divas.

Heather and Becca help run the website www.thedatingdivas.com. This is a perfect website for all couples. It helps you figure out how to get creative and romantic with your dates. Guys, have you forgotten that we need to continue dating our wives after we get married? So many of us have forgotten how to date. We just think a dinner and a movie is good enough, if we even get that far. No shame if you are in that same boat. The Dating Divas have a way for there to be fun and excitement in your relationships again.

Heather and Becca express the need for connection. Most women (not all) connect when a husband thinks about them. Heather and Becca suggest doing simple things at first to gain that connection with her. Some examples are texting your wife just saying you are thinking about her. Heather suggested buying her a single rose 12 days in a row instead of a bouquet of flowers. Simple, but can definitely mean a lot to them.

I have pulled out the old romance swagger a time or two during my marriage; however, definitely not enough. I have written notes on post-its and stuck them all over the house for my wife to find. The Dating Divas talk about many of their ideas too. Doing these small gestures of thoughtfulness, leads to a stronger connection with your spouse.

It tells your wife that you are in it for more than just sex. You are in it to make her happy and you are fighting for her heart. Plus, it is a lot of fun to see her reaction. The Dating Divas aren't just about romantic ways to surprise your wife, it is about fun and different date ideas. I for one have a hard time coming up with something other than dinner and a movie.

When we as addicts are in our addiction, we cannot feel, let alone hope to be able to connect with our spouses. This is one way that may be able to help pull ourselves out of the addiction cycle. This will help us stop thinking about ourselves and make “real” connections with real people who love us.

Heather and Becca give a lot of great ideas of how to be creative. The products and services they have on their website are not very expensive at all and they have a TON of Freebies. Plus, they are giving our listeners and Outsiders an opportunity for some free items. You just have to listen to the entire podcast for details.

We hope you enjoyed this podcast. This was a different way of looking at ways to attack the addiction through real connection and selfless acts of service. If you or someone you know is struggling with a sex addiction, Unashamed Unafraid is the podcast and website for you. Please visit our website at unashamedunafraid.com or look us up on social media @UnashamedUnafraid.
Also, you will receive a 5 dollar gift card - From The Dating Divas HERE: https://www.thedatingdivas.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/08/7-Days-of-Love-Free-Program-PLUS-Coupon.pdf

Resources:

Website:
- www.thedatingdivas.com
- www.unashamedunafraid.com

Ep 47: Polygraphs with Jared Rockwood

Unashamed Unafraid — Thu, 28 Jan 2021 20:57:22 -0700

Liar, Liar pants on fire! Do you remember saying that as kids to each other? Well, Jared Rockwood sure does because he is a professional polygraph tester. You may also ask, “Why are you having a polygraph tester on this podcast?” Have you ever wondered how it works? Are movies correct? Jared talks about how it works, what it is supposed to accomplish, what questions should be asked and more. Relax, he is not going to do a polygraph on air and with any audience members. What will he do? Find out what it is really like to be polygraphed.

Sway and Rachel have been going to Jared Rockwood from Intermountain Polygraph for almost three years now. They are both very in favor of this.

Why did they start going to Jared?

Rachel actually wanted to see if it was safe for their kids for Sway to be alone with them. She specifically wanted to know if he was viewing child porn or had done anything like that in his addiction. Rachel was considering divorce and wanted to make sure that Sway was safe. Which is why Rachel was the one who came up with questions to ask Sway.

At an appointment, Jared sits down with the one being polygraphed and talks to him/her about the questions that will be asked. He spends a total of two to three hours with the interviewee. During the interview, Jared asks all the questions several times, in different ways. “Repetition gives statistical power” Rockwood commented.

When he is finished asking questions, he then collects all of the data and sends his interpretation of the data to the therapist. The therapist works through the data with Sway and Rachel. This is meant to happen. It can be very dangerous and reckless, for the therapist just to hand over the data to the couple and let them work through it.

So, how accurate is the polygraph versus therapists?

Jared mentioned that polygraphs done correctly are 93 percent accurate with a 15 percent error rate - or false positive. Therapists on average are 54 percent accurate. Which one will you believe? Jared, Sway and Rachel all believe that when a polygraph test is done correctly for the right intent, it is a way for everyone to win. For more information about Jared and Intermountain Polygraph, please go to intermountainpolygraph.com or call (801) 960-6480.

We at Unashamed Unafraid are so thankful for people like Jared. He truly is a warrior striving to build up those around him and bring them into the light through his services. If this episode resonates with you, or you know someone who might benefit from it, please feel free to share the link to the episode with them. At Unashamed Unafraid, we are here to spread the words of hope and healing through Jesus Christ. Please subscribe and follow us on Facebook and Instagram @UnashamedUnafraid.

Ep 46: Unashamed for the New Year 2021

Unashamed Unafraid — Wed, 20 Jan 2021 21:29:23 -0700

Unashamed Unafraid

The New Year 2021 Edition

Unashamed Unafraid has taken on a few new faces this year. The newcomers are Sway and Rachel, and AZ Cory. We were able to continue to spread this message of hope, love, healing, and faith in Christ, even with COVID. We became a non-profit organization to be able to help people fight through healing from sex addiction.

We were able to give out a lot of money last year to help those with the donations from the UU Outsiders. Thank you so very much! Once COVID restrictions are lifted, we will be able to help even more people because of the generous donations. Our listeners’ lives are not the only lives that are affected.

We also went through a lot of changes personally this year. So, we asked ourselves several questions about this year:

What type of animal would you describe this year as?

What was your favorite episode?

Also, will we be doing more events like the live zoom Q&A?

We will actually be doing more of them. We just have not figured out how many yet. We will also be introducing new bonus content. We will be reviewing four books this year and talking about them in our bonus content. We have not chosen the books yet, so stay tuned.

How do I become an Outsider you ask? Subscribe to our podcast and go to https://unashamedunafraid.com/donate. This is how you can get even more great content this year. We really appreciate all our listeners, outsiders and free subscribers.

This podcast is truly more for us than it is for our listeners. Yet, our listeners seem to like what they are hearing. We know that it gives a lot of us who are struggling with addiction or even betrayal trauma some perspective on sexual addiction and how to find healing and strength through Jesus Christ. We look forward to another adventurous year. Thanks for listening and donating.

Ep 45: Chris and Sarah Ashworth

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 15 Dec 2020 08:49:22 -0700

Are you religious but struggle to find God? Or, do you wonder if God is even there? Do you or does someone you love manage to gain stints of sobriety, but without true healing?

If you relate to any of these questions, Chris and Sarah Ashworth’s story is just the one you need to hear. In this episode, Chris takes us on his journey from agnosticism to building a deep connection with God, and Sarah recounts her experiences of her own personal healing.

Chris grew up in what he says was a “happy home”, as a devoted member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. While family life was good, he fought a silent internal battle with pornography and masturbation from age 12 to 26.

Sarah describes her childhood home a bit differently: one where both parents worked long hours, where divorce and abuse inflicted deep emotional wounds, and where family members mostly avoided one another. Regardless of this stark contrast in upbringing, Chris and Sarah would discover later on that they both had wounds that needed healing.

Sarah, who was also raised a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, always followed the rules but felt that God was very distant. She projected her relationship with her father on God - seeing Him as an aloof being to be feared. Chris didn’t think so much about God as much as he did “church” and “worthiness”, and was numb and distracted by addiction.

By age 36, Chris had managed to gain meaningful sobriety, but was still in search of true healing. He had lived as an agnostic for years, so he had a decision to make as his son’s baptism day approached. Sarah urged Chris to find God, but he refused to do so. The day before the baptism, Chris decided that he would baptize his son, regardless of where his heart was at. Sarah refused and expressed what he already knew in his heart: he had “procrastinated the day of [his] repentance.”

Chris had arrived at spiritual “rock bottom”. He began writing prayers to a God he still questioned, sometimes even expressing anger and bitterness, until one day He answered. Shortly after, God came for Chris’s heart at a “Wild at Heart” retreat, where he claims he went from agnostic to Christian over a weekend.

As Sarah watched God heal her husband’s heart, she felt hers being healed as well. She learned to have more humility with God. She started seeking Him out for validation and learned to trust that He’d take care of Chris.

Chris went from being completely indifferent to the idea of a god to seeing God as his partner, friend, and father. He deliberately wakes up early to spend an hour or two with God every morning. His message to addicts is to find God as he did, by separating Him from church and religion, then to follow Him. Find more at https://www.aliveinchrist.me

https://www.aliveinchrist.me/p/addiction-recovery_12.html -> check out the Spouse Recovery document where God outlined to Sarah the principles she used to get through Chris’ recovery.

Ep 44: Keepin’ It Rhyll… SAL Style

Unashamed Unafraid — Wed, 25 Nov 2020 11:35:52 -0700

Steve and Rhyll Croshaw have an amazing story. Rhyll was going to school and was taking a marriage and family class, and for one of her assignments, she needed to set up a community program. After that class, Steve and Rhyll started to think about how to help people the same way they had been helped through their recovery from addiction and trauma.

Heavenly Father also needed them to set this up. He knew that there were several men and women who needed this style of Sexaholics Anonymous. He put an attorney in their pathway, and it just so happened that he specialized in setting up non-profit businesses. Right then and there Rhyll and Steve knew that SAL needed to happen.

Steve and Rhyll put in the work and made SAL (SA Lifeline) a reality. They are truly grateful for the opportunity to be a part of something bigger than themselves. Rhyll talks about how SAL changed their lives. What they did not see as an unintended consequence was they have helped prevent their own grandchildren from going down this path. Rhyll talks about how her grandson said, “Grandpa, whenever I’m tempted, I’ll remember you.” Rhyll, then explained that she is so thankful that she married a valiant spirit.

Steve talks about how people need to choose to open up, to have a willing heart, and to work together with Heavenly Father and others who may be able to help them. This is where the SAL program can come into play. SAL is completely anonymous. What is SAL?

SAL is somewhere between the LDS 12-step program (ARP or Addiction Recovery Program) and SA (Sexaholics Anonymous). SA is extremely raw and they expect you to get a sponsor right away. There are a lot of raw stories that are told both from men and women. ARP is focused on Christ and they separate the men and women. A person can walk into an ARP meeting and leave without talking to a single person. SAL is between these two programs. SAL, expects you to have a sponsor and work the steps. Someone is there to help you through the steps. SAL requires more accountability than ARP and a lot less raw than SA. Some people say it is a perfect balance between the two.

Because Steve and Rhyll were able to find the peace and healing that comes through recovery, they chose to share their story and successes with others. They listened to the promptings of a loving Heavenly Father and are doing great and extraordinary things. Through their struggles and recovery from sexual addiction, they have seen the beauty and love of Christ and Heavenly Father.

We at Unashamed Unafraid are so thankful that people are admitting they need these resources. If this episode resonates with you, or you know someone who might benefit from it, please feel free to share the link to the episode with them. At Unashamed Unafraid, we are here to spread the words of hope and healing through Jesus Christ. Please subscribe and follow us on Facebook and Instagram @UnashamedUnafraid.

Ep 43: Christian and Karen's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 10 Nov 2020 22:57:00 -0700

In their book “Love and War” John and Stasi Eldredge say, “For it is also in the heart of a man and a woman to share some sort of quest, to fight some great battle together.” This is the compelling story of Christian and Karens’ battle.

Christian was first exposed to pornography in the form of magazines laying around the houses of his childhood friends. At first, it seemed innocent, even normal. Fast forward a few years into Christian and Karen’s marriage - Christian’s life is “hell”. He’s indulging in his addiction every day: viewing pornography, frequenting chat rooms, and indulging in extramarital affairs. Meanwhile, Karen instinctively feels that things are off but is completely unprepared for the bomb that’s about to drop.

The more Christian indulged in his addiction, the more he pushed God aside. Leading up to the height of his addiction, he had served a mission in Guatemala and prayed occasionally but ultimately felt that it was hard to find God. He would feel close to God at times but would eventually revert back to needing a fix. Karen had always had faith in God, but felt that the deep connection with Him was lacking.

Eventually, the crushing weight of guilt became unbearable and Christian began to confess his past mistakes to Karen. At first, he spotlighted only one of his affairs, but as he turned his heart to God he found the courage to make a full disclosure. At his rock bottom, Christian felt so much pain that he wondered whether or not life was worth living. This discovery absolutely destroyed Karen. In her darkest moments, she experienced anger, bitterness, loneliness, and betrayal.

As Christian attended recovery meetings and worked the twelve steps, hope began to grow in his heart. Where he once would’ve described his relationship with God as “casual”, he now says that “God is everything”. He knows that God loves him in spite of his past mistakes. Where Karen once blamed herself and felt it was her responsibility to “fix” Christian, she now feels God’s hand sustaining them both in the recovery process.

Christian and Karen continue to fight this battle together and have been changed for the better in the process. Their story is a testament that no one is ever too far gone and that God is always there supporting us whether or not we can feel it.

Ep 42: You Can't Talk About That Sherie

Unashamed Unafraid — Thu, 15 Oct 2020 21:37:27 -0600

You Can’t Talk About That Sherry

The UU Crew receives a ton of questions about how to talk about the dreadful and often shameful word sex with our kids. Well, the age old rule, at least when we were kids, was you can never talk about it. It was a terrible topic for us to talk to our parents about. The conversation was extremely awkward, shameful, or both. I know I regretted asking my parents to talk to them about sex. This is where Sherie Christiansen is a godsend.

Sherie works at Addo Recovery and Lakewood Family Therapy and has a website at www.sherieachristiansen.com. She also has a book called, “My Body is a Gift from God” and provides online courses for betrayal trauma and healthy boundaries. Bottomline, Sherie is amazing when it comes to discussing the topic of sex with your kids.

Sherie dives into how to have the conversations with them at age appropriate levels. You as parents will know when it is the right time to talk to your kids about it. However, Sherie said, “Your kids are hearing about sex every day, so you might as well talk to them about it just as much.” There are several questions that the UU Crew asks Sherie.

How much of the “secrets of sex” can we tell them?
How do we take the shame out of the topic of sex?
How do we talk to them about this at an appropriate level?
How do we talk to our kids about our stories?
What are ways to get our kids comfortable with talking to us about sex?
Is it appropriate to continue to talk to our kids about sex when they are adults and married?
Is it okay for our kids to talk about sex and what we tell them to their friends?

The list goes on and on. Sherie unpacks all of those questions and more in this episode. Please have a listen. There will likely be future episodes that go deeper into some of the questions and information that is brought up by the group. Sherie is an amazing resource and we appreciate that she would take time to talk with us and our listeners who are Unashamed and Unafraid.

We at Unashamed Unafraid are so thankful that people are admitting they need these resources. If this episode resonates with you, or you know someone who might benefit from them, please feel free to share the link to the episode with them. At Unashamed Unafraid we are here to spread the words of hope and healing through Jesus Christ. Please subscribe and follow us on Facebook and Instagram @UnashamedUnafraid.

Ep 41: Chris and Marilyn's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Mon, 05 Oct 2020 16:40:01 -0600

Steve and James sit down with Chris and Marilyn. Chris and Marilyn grew up together in Santa Monica, California as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. As they phrase it, they were both “box checkers” - they went to church, served a mission, got married in the temple, had kids, and served in church callings. At age eleven Chris experienced two things that would dramatically change the trajectory of their lives for the next fifty years: He was sexually abused by his assistant scoutmaster and was introduced to pornography.

Announcement: Scholarships Are Open!

Unashamed Unafraid — Tue, 22 Sep 2020 10:08:16 -0600

Our scholarship page is up and active. We have multiple scholarships available for those who need help getting therapy or getting to a retreat. To apply or to donate, visit https://unashamedunafraid.com/scholarships

Ep 40: Beckie Hennessy On Betrayal Trauma

Unashamed Unafraid — Sun, 13 Sep 2020 21:57:16 -0600

Beckie Hennessy is a licensed clinical mental health counsellor. She began her career specializing in child trauma. She then branched out into trauma in general and now specializes in relational trauma, also known as betrayal trauma. In this episode, Beckie explains how betrayal trauma affects the brain and confirms that it is actual trauma. She also delves into attachment and its relationship to trauma.

Beckie did her studies with the “Trauma Guru” Barbara Stephens. She says that trauma is when a person does not know how to process an event because it is too much to handle. When someone has trauma, they have three options at their disposal. They will either fight, run away or freeze. These are the only ways that a person can respond to traumatic situations.

Beckie elaborates on this and discusses that the brain gets hijacked because of the event. The event is too overwhelming because it completely shatters the reality of the person experiencing the traumatic event. Beckie gives an example of having emergency services rush past your vehicle as you are driving home only to discover that it is because your house is on fire.

But how does porn use and lying about it, equate to watching your house burn down? Beckie explains that it is about attachments and how people have their “person”.

“When you pick your person and have sex with that person. When you pick your person and they hold your hair back while you’re puking your guts out because you are pregnant. And you find out that they are lying, for years, it is like your house is burning down inside you. You don’t know how to handle the situation.”

The reason for the trauma is because a person attaches themselves to another person and there is a life that is created and shared between them. When that life turns out to be a lie, it disrupts every part of the betrayed person’s life. This is called relational trauma. A lot of people associate relational trauma with codependency; and there is another term called pro-dependency.

Codependency is a very controversial topic because it says that you are pathologically flawed to the point that you will always choose the same type of person because you need them to be in your life. Pro-dependency is not a new concept but it is gaining popularity. Pro-dependency says that it is a learned behavior and not a permanent fixture. Becky assists people in understanding why they continually make the same choices and then helps them learn new habits. The way she does that is bringing us back to our foundation.

God should be our foundation. Is it just that easy? Yes! However, it is easier said than done. We have to choose to get our validation through Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ instead of other flawed people, including ourselves. Lacrae says, “You live by their acceptance and die by their rejection.” This is so true. And the truth is Dad will never reject you and me. That gives us all the chance to be unashamed and unafraid of what the world thinks.

This has been an amazing opportunity for us and hopefully you. We want to thank Beckie in helping us understand what Betrayal (Relational) Trauma is. She can be heard on the podcast. “The path of Imperfection” and on instagram @beckie.hennessy.lcsw or beckiehennessy.com.

If this episode resonates with you, or you know someone who might benefit from them, please feel free to share the link to the episode with them. At Unashamed Unafraid we are here to spread the words of hope and healing through Jesus Christ. Please subscribe and follow us on Facebook and Instagram @UnashamedUnafraid.

Ep 39: Thomas 2.0

Unashamed Unafraid — Thu, 20 Aug 2020 20:00:00 -0600

Thomas’s story is a miraculous journey from egotistical denial, to desperate despair, and finally, to healthy healing. It is for the man that has been hiding for most of his life and for the woman who senses that addiction has robbed her of her husband’s love. It’s a story of how one couple went from total disconnection to daily emotional, spiritual, intellectual, and physical connection. It’s the story of “Dark to Light: My Recovery from Pornography and Lust” (for his full story, check out his book on Amazon), and the story of how “Thomas 2.0” came to be.

Ep 38: Disclosure: Do's and Dont's with Geoff Steurer

Unashamed Unafraid — Thu, 06 Aug 2020 20:00:00 -0600

Geoff Steurer is a professional therapist from Lifestar Group in St. George, Utah. He co-wrote the book, “Love You, Hate the Porn.” He also has a podcast called Illuminate. He is an expert on disclosure. He walks through - with Chris and Steve - the right and wrong way to disclose the lies that addicts keep from their loved ones. So jump into the deep end of disclosure.

Ep 37: Anonymous Q and A with Kristy

Unashamed Unafraid — Thu, 23 Jul 2020 20:00:00 -0600

Chris, James and Steve sit down with Kristy (James’ Beautiful Bride) and discuss anonymous questions submitted by our listeners. The episode talks about two people’s questions. The first is a deep one that asks about wanting to change but not knowing how. The second has several sub-questions from a supporter’s viewpoint. These are two very brave people who are asking questions that all addicts and supporters have asked. Sit back and buckle up. This episode is epic!

Ep 36: Seth and Nicole's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Thu, 09 Jul 2020 18:00:00 -0600

Steve and James sit down with Seth and Nicole as they share their story. This is a story of true redemption, and not just for Seth. Seth and Nicole talk about their stories individually and how they met. They then talk about how they both found redemption through the atonement and grace of Jesus Christ. Please have a listen and if this story touches your life or you know it will touch someone else's, please consider sharing this with them.

Ep 35: Attachment with Troy Love

Unashamed Unafraid — Thu, 25 Jun 2020 20:00:00 -0600

Chris and Steve sit down with author and therapist Troy Love. Troy lives in Yuma Arizona. He is a licensed clinical social worker. Troy has written three books that have been on the Amazon best seller’s list. He is extremely passionate about assisting people with attachment wounds. He loves to help them find healing, joy, peace and love. Troy has a firm belief that attachment wounds shape a person’s reality (which most of the time is wrong) about the world and those around them.

Ep 34: Tim and Callie's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Thu, 11 Jun 2020 20:00:00 -0600

Steve and Jason sit down with Tim and Callie as they share their story. This is a story of true redemption, and not just for Tim. Tim and Callie talk about their stories individually and how they met. They then talk about how they both found redemption through the atonement and grace of Jesus Christ. Please have a listen and if this story touches your life or you know it will touch someone's, please consider sharing this with them.

Ep 33: Chris and Autumn's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Sat, 30 May 2020 20:00:00 -0600

Steven and James sit down with our co-host and “Hulk of Hope” Chris and his wife Autumn Bennett. Chris talks about how he went from having multiple affairs to now over twelve years of sobriety. Autumn shares how she went from trying to take her life to trusting Chris again. They also talk about how they fight for each others’ hearts. If these stories resonate with you, or you know someone who might benefit from them, please feel free to share the link to the episode with them.

Bonus: LIVE Q and A with Chris, Autumn, Sway and Rachel

Unashamed Unafraid — Fri, 15 May 2020 20:00:00 -0600

This is a Bonus Episode for all of our listeners. Chris, Autumn, Sway and Rachel sat down on a live Zoom call and answered questions about safety, boundaries, recovery for addicts with only a few months of sobriety at a time, and many more. The panel answered about five times as many questions as usual in a normal Q&A episode. So there's a ton of great information here. They got real and honest about their own experiences and it was incredible hearing the spouse's perspective with the answers.
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Remember to submit your anonymous questions online at UnashamedUnafraid.com so that others can find answers as well.

If these stories resonate with you, or you know someone who might benefit from them, please feel free to share the link to the episode with them. At Unashamed Unafraid we are here to spread the words of hope and healing through Jesus Christ. Please subscribe and follow us on Facebook and Instagram @UnashamedUnafraid.

Ep 32: Anonymous Q and A with Debbie Reid

Unashamed Unafraid — Thu, 14 May 2020 20:00:00 -0600

Steve and James sit down with Debbie Reid from LifeStar Salt Lake. She is trained in trauma in somatic experiencing and psychodrama therapy and runs LifeStar intensives in Salt Lake City and trauma groups in Tennessee. They answer five questions submitted by our listeners.

If these stories resonate with you, or you know someone who might benefit from them, please feel free to share the link to the episode with them. Please subscribe and follow us on Facebook and Instagram.

Ep 31: Joe and Amy's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Thu, 30 Apr 2020 20:00:00 -0600

Joe and Amy Pierson are amazing people. Chris and Steve had the privilege to talk with them about their story. They also talk very candidly about what it took to help them through Joe’s addiction. Joe talks about his experience of surrendering to Heavenly Father. Amy talks about her experience of surrendering her trauma and Joe to Him as well. Sit back and enjoy this amazing adventure of war and redemption. If this story resonates with you please feel free to share it with those who you think could benefit from it.

Ep 30: Jason's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Thu, 23 Apr 2020 20:00:00 -0600

Our own Darth Vader of audio, Jason, sits down with Steve and James to talk about his pornography addiction and how he found recovery through honesty and vulnerability. Recognizing that he couldn’t win this fight on his own, Jason learned to truly surrender. His relationship with God has been deepened and strengthened. He now is filled with peace, love, and joy. If this story touches your life or you know it will touch someone's life, please consider sharing this with them.

Ep 29: Q and A with Autumn

Unashamed Unafraid — Fri, 17 Apr 2020 11:44:00 -0600

The UU Crew sits down with Autumn (Chris’ wife) and answers three questions from anonymous sources. The first question is extremely difficult to get through, so be careful if listening around impressionable little minds. It is a very difficult question. The others are not as heavy

EP 27: Steve's Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Fri, 20 Mar 2020 12:00:00 -0600

In this heartfelt episode of Unashamed Unafraid, Steve and James dive deep into Steve personal journey through sexual addiction, recovery, and his unwavering faith in Christ for healing. Hear raw and real stories about his past struggles, the impact of sexual abuse, battles with porn and prostitution, and his path towards recovery. Understand how he has navigated through immense challenges in his marriage, leaned on the divine for guidance, and found a renewed sense of hope and love. This emotionally gripping conversation also includes insights from experts, resources that work, and the importance of community and support in the recovery process.

Ep 26: Hope And Healing Support with Michelle

Unashamed Unafraid — Thu, 27 Feb 2020 16:31:00 -0700

Steve and James sit down with the owner/administrator of the website hopeandhealingsupport.com. While running a website to bring people to Christ, she found that her website was being inundated with questions about addiction and recovery for the betrayed. So she started the website hopeandhealinglds.com. Her website has information for women affected by the sexual addiction of a loved one. We greatly appreciate Michelle sharing her heart with us.

Ep 25: Anonymous Questions Answered with Dr. Skinner

Unashamed Unafraid — Thu, 20 Feb 2020 18:00:00 -0700

Jason and Steve sit down and talk with Dr. Skinner about anonymous questions that UnashamedUnafraid (UU) have received. He talks to them about how there is recovery, and a saving grace through recovery, from any type of addiction. The addict must give up something to get their life back. It also involves true connection to others. At UU, we believe an addict can only do it through our Savior Jesus Christ and his infinite Atonement.

Ep 24: John and Amy Harrison

Unashamed Unafraid — Fri, 07 Feb 2020 12:00:00 -0700

John and Amy sit down with Steve and CT to talk about their personal stories. They share how they met, how they have worked through recovery, and how Christ has used their struggles to bring them closer together. They are an amazing couple. We at Unashamed appreciate John and Amy for allowing us to share their story. If this affects you and you know others who might be struggling, please consider sharing this with them. We are here, Unashamed and Unafraid to share stories about addiction recovery, and redemption through Jesus Christ.

Ep 23: Moore on Shame with Dr Adam Moore

Unashamed Unafraid — Fri, 24 Jan 2020 07:09:00 -0700

Dr. Moore started his practice in marriage and family therapy in St. George, Utah. He quickly realized there was a problem in families with sexual addiction and betrayal trauma. Dr. Moore decided to specialize in assisting families in these types of issues. He now has several practices throughout Utah and Nevada. He also has a two year waiting list, so he is obviously very good at what he does.

Besides talking about how successful Dr. Moore is, Steve and Jason sit down to talk to him about shame. Dr. Moore talks about shame prone families. He also talks about shame and denial work together. Dr. Moore then dives into the roadblocks that we have for true recovery, and this is only during the first twenty minutes. So pull up a chair and listen to this episode.

We here at Unashamed Unafraid are so thankful for professionals like Dr. Moore who is willing to speak about these topics with us and our listeners. We hope that you will share this episode with those you love. Everyone will benefit from this episode. Please share it on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter. If you haven’t subscribed yet, please subscribe and tell your friends.

Ep 22: Unashamed for the New Year

Unashamed Unafraid — Thu, 09 Jan 2020 10:19:00 -0700

What a year! 2019 saw a lot of changes for UnashamedUnafraid. The UnashamedUnafraid (UU) Crew is so excited for 2020. This episode is a special tribute to the hard work and dedication of the UU Crew. For more information on the crew, please visit the Our Team page at UnashamedUnafraid.com. So what is going to be discussed in this special episode?

The UU Crew sit down and talk about the podcast becoming what it is today. They discuss how it all started and how everyone came to be a part of the Crew. In early 2019, Chris “The Hulk of Hope” and Steve “Rapper Host” made it a goal to record and publish 10 men’s stories. The Crew also talks about which episode was their favorite and what to expect for the blog and podcast in 2020. Please read the blog post or listen in on the podcast platform of your choice and review us on iTunes.

From the Crew at UnashamedUnafraid, we wish you a very Happy New Year. May this year be the year for you to become and remain Unashamed and Unafraid through the hope and healing of Christ Jesus. If you have been blessed by this message and want to inspire others, please share this message on social media, subscribe to our podcast, and review us on iTunes. UnashamedUnafraid can be heard on any major podcast station. Thank you for your participation this year and for years to come.

God Bless You,

UU Crew

Ep 21: Q & A Answers: Boundaries with Addicts and is God Part of Recovery?

Unashamed Unafraid — Thu, 26 Dec 2019 19:20:00 -0700

Merry Christmas! Here is a special episode where all of the players in Unashamed Unafraid (UU) come together and answer listeners’ anonymous questions. We really appreciate all of the people who have tuned in this year. We have something special coming in the year to come but this won’t be discussed in this episode. What will be discussed in this episode is the questions from anonymous listeners like you.

Ep 20: Matt’s Story - By Surrendering He Received Redemption

Unashamed Unafraid — Sat, 14 Dec 2019 09:05:00 -0700

Steve and Jason sit down with an amazing man named Matt. Matt was on EP 18: Intro to 12 Step & ARP Meetings and explained a little bit of his story with the group. This time, he gets to talk all about his story. He opens up about his rocky childhood due to misguided views on what real connection should be. He also talks about how his parents were not safe. He talks about his relationships now and what has changed. He finishes by talking about what recovery means to him and his family.

Ep 19: Heart of A Woman Retreat: Personal Experiences

Unashamed Unafraid — Wed, 27 Nov 2019 23:12:00 -0700

Kristi, Mindy, and Keshia sit down with James and Steve and talk about the Heart of a Woman Retreat. They discuss what their lives are like right now, what their apprehensions were before going to the retreat, talk about what they learned there, what they would tell someone about the retreat, and who might be on the fence about going. The women are extremely open and vulnerable about their experiences and is an episode that will make you laugh and cry in the same breath. If this affects you and you know others who might be struggling, please consider sharing this with them because we are here Unashamed and Unafraid to share stories about addiction, recovery, and redemption through Jesus Christ.

EP 18: Intro to 12 Step & ARP Meetings

Unashamed Unafraid — Thu, 07 Nov 2019 16:27:00 -0700

Jason, Matt, Randy, and Steve sit down and talk about the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints’ (LDS) ARP. This is a version of the AA 12 step program created by Bill W. The difference between the two versions is that the LDS Church focuses on the relationship that a person has with Jesus Christ. This episode focuses on what ARP is, what it is not, and how it can help the addict. ARP is a great start on the road to recovery. Listen in to learn about the healing and help Jason and Matt have received through the ARP program and how Randy talks about having the ability to choose the road to recovery. If this affects you and you know others who might be struggling, please consider sharing this with them because we are here unashamed and unafraid to share stories about addiction, recovery, and redemption through Jesus Christ.

Ep 17: Theron Recovery Story - A Story of Healing and Redemption

Unashamed Unafraid — Fri, 25 Oct 2019 10:25:00 -0600

Theron’s story is one of deep tragedy and amazing healing. Despite all he experienced, he has gained an intimate relationship with God. Although Theron is still working on this recovery, the way he talks about his marriage and his new relationship with God is truly inspiring. Sharing stories that are unashamed and unafraid is our mission. However, this means they are usually raw, real and authentic. DISCLAIMER: Theron’s story has some traumatic experiences he faced in his childhood, so be forewarned.

Ep 16: Anonymous Questions Answered: Bipolar, Dailies, & Shame

Unashamed Unafraid — Thu, 10 Oct 2019 19:39:00 -0600

For our 7th Anonymous Questions episode, we brought back a favorite guest Todd Olson, LCSW. Todd is one of the founders of LifeSTAR and practices here in Utah. He will address three questions we received. The first one is about dealing with sexual addiction while having bipolar disorder. The second one is about dailies and what they are. The third one is about shame. Shame is such a big topic that we will be covering that in a future podcast. As always we commend the courage of our anonymous question-askers for being willing to reach out and be vulnerable.

Ep 15: Our Best Recovery Resource: The Warrior Heart Retreat

Unashamed Unafraid — Thu, 26 Sep 2019 16:36:00 -0600

We have been extremely excited about promoting A Warrior Heart Retreat. What is it? You will have to listen to understand what it is and what it is not. If you want to know more about the accommodations and other questions you might have, please listen to this episode (click here) we did before. But before they get into the podcast, they have announced that an anonymous donor has donated a full free scholarship to the retreat (that’s $445)! To enter the giveaway you must: 1- Follow us on FaceBook and Instagram (@unashamedunafraid) 2-Tag 5 friends on the episode post 3- e-mail James@unashamedunafraid.com a brief e-mail about why you want to be considered. The podcast has four guests who share their experience at the retreat Aaron, Mike “Blake”, Mike, and Sway.

Ep 14: The Story of Us: Richard & Becky's Recovery Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Thu, 12 Sep 2019 17:06:00 -0600

Richard and Becky's story is an amazing story of honesty, creating boundaries, finding God, and ultimately the path of healing and hope. Richard does a great job of talking about how he has found acceptance with God even though he’s not perfect. Becky shares how she has been able to support Richard while creating boundaries and safety for her own healing.

Ep 13: Sway and Rachel’s Recovery Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Thu, 22 Aug 2019 20:14:00 -0600

In this episode, we had the privilege of interviewing Sway & Rachel. We discuss how his addiction started, how it eventually spiraled out of control and how it impacted their lives. God brought redemption into their lives through getting caught, an amazing therapist, and their children. Rachel explains how solid boundaries brought safety for her and their marriage. They give us the straight talk on how difficult the path of recovery can be but how it truly is worth it. We know you can find hope in their story of courage, grit, and redemption.

We also announce the winner of the Heart of a Woman retreat giveaway!

Ep 12: Heal Betrayal Trauma: The Heart of a Woman Retreat

Unashamed Unafraid — Fri, 09 Aug 2019 15:29:00 -0600

At Unashamed Unafraid we know the women go through a lot. The Heart of a Woman Retreat can be a powerful tool to help women heal. This year we decided to give back in our small way by sponsoring one woman to go on the retreat this year. Find out how below! Heart of a Woman is a retreat produced by women for women. It is a three-day event starting on a Thursday and ending on a Saturday. It is held in Wanship, Utah (near Park City, Utah). The retreat is unlike anything you have ever experienced.t is the women’s version of the Warrior Heart Retreat for men.

Ep 11: Anonymous Questions Answered: Resentment

Unashamed Unafraid — Thu, 25 Jul 2019 07:17:00 -0600

How much courage does it take to send us an open question like this? I want to commend our anonymous question submitter for such great courage! Your question is likely a question many have. We hope this helps and we want you to know that you are also helping others by submitting your question.

In this episode, we address a question which is centered around resentment. Resentment is a stumbling block in recovery we all have to face. But it isn’t insurmountable. It can be overcome. Steve, James and his wife Kristy talk about their personal experiences with and opinions about resentment, forgiveness, self-compassion, validation, and more. If you have an anonymous question, please submit it to us at chris@unashamedunafraid.com.

Ep 10: Paul's Recovery Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Thu, 11 Jul 2019 17:21:00 -0600

At UnashamedUnafraid we know this is a very sensitive and tough situation to be talking about. You may have a very visceral reaction to listening to this podcast. We hope you walk away considering just how far-reaching Christ’s atonement really is and know that no matter who you are or what you’ve done there is always hope for redemption. Paul's story of addiction includes becoming a registered offender but is an amazing story of the redemption we all are looking for.

Ep 9: Anonymous Questions Answered No. 5

Unashamed Unafraid — Fri, 03 May 2019 11:27:00 -0600

We have had some great questions submitted. I again want to commend those who had the courage to reach out and be vulnerable. Truly a great example of being Unashamed and Unafraid! We had a great group to answer these questions. I was joined by Sherie Christensen, MFT along with James and Kristy who shared their recovery story with us last year. Questions in this episode deal with how to do disclosure, support a struggling spouse, and how to get long distance resources.

Ep 8: Dave's Recovery Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Wed, 06 Mar 2019 10:20:00 -0700

I first heard Dave’s story in 2014 and it was amazing. I apologize that this episode is so long, but his story is amazing. I just couldn’t edit anything out. I hope you take the chance to listen to his whole story—there is so much open and wisdom to gain from Dave’s journey through drug and sexual addiction and his awesome recovery.

Ep 7: Our Invitation to Be Unashamed & Unafraid

Unashamed Unafraid — Fri, 22 Feb 2019 09:34:00 -0700

It has been 3 years since I first launched UnashamedUnafraid and it has been amazing. We have shared a lot of insights, stories, and hope and have had so much shared back with us. It is amazing how God finds us in the most dark and hopeless moments. Starting our fourth year Chris and I would like again invite any men struggling with sexual addiction to be unashamed and unafraid.

Ep 6: Anonymous Questions Answered No. 4

Unashamed Unafraid — Thu, 27 Dec 2018 14:05:00 -0700

In this episode we have only one question, but it’s a good one and one that I can very much relate to. The question in this episode focuses on serving in church leadership while struggling ,and how to get help. My guest for this post is Josh Whitney, a pastor at the Rock Church in Draper, Utah. He has found his way through those struggles and has some great perspective for those who walk this line of personal struggle and leadership.

Ep 5: Betrayal Trauma Resource: The Heart of a Woman Retreat

Unashamed Unafraid — Fri, 10 Aug 2018 10:12:00 -0600

Last year I posted about my top-secret recovery resource: The Wild at Heart Retreat. This retreat is a game changer! I hope that you have taken the chance to listen to my post with Dorothy Maryon, CMHC about Betrayal Trauma and understanding our wife’s experience. Our wives get put through the ringer with our addiction and recovery and it’s not their fault. If only there was a top secret resource for their healing too…turns out there is!

For this podcast I sat down with the founder and two members of the prayer team for the Heart of a Woman Retreat, the sister retreat to Wild at Heart for men. Here they describe the retreat. I strongly encourage you to listen to this one and feel the spirit of the experience this retreat can be for the women in our lives. To the women: you deserve this. To the men: show this to your woman and let her know you’re sorry for hurting her, you support her finding healing and recovery, and you are more than happy to take the kids for a weekend. Battle for her heart men! Here is a way you can!

Ep 4: James and Kristy's Recovery Story

Unashamed Unafraid — Wed, 18 Jul 2018 10:00:00 -0600

It’s time for another couple’s journey through all the difficulty that addiction is and finding hope and healing. James and Kristy took 14 years to finally start their real journey with God, but it was worth it. As you read and listen I hope that there are parts of their story that resonate and that you can relate to. Their story is a great example of becoming unashamed about who they are and the mistakes they’ve made and unafraid of really connecting with God and seeing the life He has for them.

Ep 3: Anonymous Questions Answered No. 3

Unashamed Unafraid — Thu, 10 May 2018 10:00:00 -0600

We are back with our third edition of answering anonymous questions. I want to give large props to those who submit these questions. Also, so sorry it took us so long to get this one out! I hope our answers are helpful. To answer this episodes question I was able to catch up with Brian Murdock, LCMHC of Brian Murdock Counseling. Brian has been in the mental health field since 1992. In private practice, he currently works with sexual addiction and traumas connected to those addictions.

Ep 2: Anonymous Questions Answered No. 2

Unashamed Unafraid — Thu, 15 Mar 2018 10:00:00 -0600

We are back with our second edition of answering anonymous questions. I want to give large props to those who submitted these questions. I hope our answers are helpful. This Episode I sat down with both Chris and Todd Olson, LCSW, one of the Co-Founders of LifeSTAR, to help answer these questions.