This Isn’t Therapy

Digital Isolation & Main Character Energy

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 16 Apr 2026 05:58:22 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... its a fun flirty fab conversation about a lovely listener's experience with loneliness, despite having online friends and the impact of main character energy.

Asking for a Friend:
https://forms.gle/LofZNaNzGe22W7XG7

Sources:
Main Character Syndrome" is Making Gen-Z the Loneliest Generation by Coco Mocoe

Listen to This Isn’t Therapy:
Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://open.spotify.com/show/0gvAhpRsaI8lDip7B1Jpi9?si=HIWUpJYbRiuxpuMABa4I_A
⁠⁠Apple Podcasts: ⁠⁠⁠⁠ https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/this-isnt-therapy/id1528399646

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

The Business of Calm & How to Make a Major Life Decision

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 09 Apr 2026 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... its a fun flirty fab conversation about the (ironic) mental health struggles occurring at Calm and a reddit user's question about learning how to trust your gut.

Asking for a Friend:
https://forms.gle/LofZNaNzGe22W7XG7

Sources:
“Calm’s CEO on the mental health struggle at the top of big companies”

by Andrew Edgecliffe-Johnson

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

Hilary Duff & Sports Betting

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 02 Apr 2026 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... its a fun flirty fab conversation about sibling relationships, inspired by Hilary Duff's "We Don't Talk" (off her latest album), and the growing risk of sports betting.

Asking for a Friend:
https://forms.gle/LofZNaNzGe22W7XG7

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

Sexistential (Robyn) & Trad Wives

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 26 Mar 2026 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... its a fun flirty fab conversation about Robyn's latest album "Sexistential" (out now!) and the growing "soft-girl" & Trad Wife trend.

Asking for a Friend:
https://forms.gle/LofZNaNzGe22W7XG7

Articles:
The Falsehood of Soft Girls and Trad Wives, Time Magazine

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

Gift-Giving Pressure & Goodness Anxiety

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 19 Mar 2026 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... its a conversation about that feeling you get when you give and receive gifts and the pressure we put on ourselves to be a good person.

Asking for a Friend:
https://forms.gle/LofZNaNzGe22W7XG7

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

Oversharing Online + Gen Z Going Sober

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 12 Mar 2026 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it's the episode about all things Gen Z: from oversharing online to going sober and drinking less.

Asking for a Friend:
https://forms.gle/LofZNaNzGe22W7XG7

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

Irrational Anger + Productivity Guilt

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 05 Mar 2026 00:00:00 -0800

This Isn't Therapy... its an episode about anger in all its forms and the pressure we put on ourselves to be productive (sometimes to the point of guilt!)

Asking for a Friend:
https://forms.gle/LofZNaNzGe22W7XG7

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

Being High Maintenance & Being Low Maintenance

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 26 Feb 2026 00:00:00 -0800

This Isn't Therapy... it's a convo about the tricky and delicate balance between being high maintenance and being low maintenance.

Asking for a Friend:
https://forms.gle/LofZNaNzGe22W7XG7

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

Survivor & Hot Girl Walks

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 19 Feb 2026 00:00:00 -0800

This Isn't Therapy... it's the long-time-coming episode about the social ins-and-outs of Survivor and the TikTok trend "Hot Girl Walks."

Asking for a Friend:
https://forms.gle/LofZNaNzGe22W7XG7

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

The Chore of Self-Care & The Mindset Quiz

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 12 Feb 2026 00:00:00 -0800

This Isn’t Therapy… it’s an episode about how self-care is now being seen as equivalent to chores for certain groups of people. Next, Jake and Simon take the lovely listeners through The Mindset Quiz to help you reflect on your general mindset on certain topics; from love and belonging to managing change and control.

The Mindset Quiz

Asking for a Friend:
https://forms.gle/LofZNaNzGe22W7XG7

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

Finding Love & Sexy AI Companions

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 05 Feb 2026 10:09:33 -0800

This Isn't Therapy... it's the episode about finding love and the phenomenon of Sexy AI companions. In this episode, Jake and Simon tackle a question from a lovely listener and dive into the emerging world of AI-generated romantic relationships.

Asking for a Friend:
https://forms.gle/LofZNaNzGe22W7XG7

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

The Default Mode Network & Feeling “Muted”

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 29 Jan 2026 00:00:00 -0800

This Isn’t Therapy… it’s the episode about The Default Mode Network, responsible for helping us be bored, self reflect, and go into real rest. From there, Simon and Jake talk about what it might mean if you’re feeling muted emotions or blunted emotional reactions all too often.

Asking for a Friend:
https://forms.gle/LofZNaNzGe22W7XG7

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

Extinction of Experience & Friendship Breakups

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 22 Jan 2026 00:00:00 -0800

This Isn't Therapy... it's an episode about the extinction of essential human experiences and what to do when you and your friends are on shaky ground.

Asking for a Friend:
https://forms.gle/LofZNaNzGe22W7XG7

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

Decision Fatigue & Being Attracted To Your Therapist

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 15 Jan 2026 00:00:00 -0800

This Isn't Therapy... it's an episode about decision overwhelm and being attracted to your therapist.

Asking for a Friend:
https://forms.gle/LofZNaNzGe22W7XG7

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

The Drama Triangle & Bedrotting

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 08 Jan 2026 17:19:58 -0800

This Isn't Therapy... it's an episode about The Drama Triangle by Stephen Karpman and chronically online terminology, from brainrot to bedrot.

Asking for a Friend:
https://forms.gle/LofZNaNzGe22W7XG7

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

Setting Good Goals & Disaster Capitalism

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 01 Jan 2026 00:00:00 -0800

This Isn't Therapy... it's an episode about goal setting and the careless need to create carnage in the name of profit.

Asking for a Friend:
https://forms.gle/LofZNaNzGe22W7XG7

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

🦌🎁 Rizzdolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer 🎁🦌

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 25 Dec 2025 00:00:00 -0800

Tune in to the NOW HOLIDAY CLASSIC, Rizzdolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer and hang around for the past two years of holiday remixes: 'Twas The Night Before Therapy and How The Grinch Stole Therapy.

30-Day Digital Detox & The Roles of Social Change

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 18 Dec 2025 04:30:36 -0800

This Isn't Therapy... it's an essential guide for detoxing from our digital devices and a discussion about the roles of social change.

Asking for a Friend:
https://forms.gle/LofZNaNzGe22W7XG7

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

Wayward & "The Performative Male"

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 11 Dec 2025 00:00:00 -0800

This Isn't Therapy... it's a discussion about this Fall's most popular Netflix show, Wayward, and therapeutic treatment programs. Then we discuss the controversial identity of "the performative male" and what that means for modern masculinity.

Asking for a Friend:
https://forms.gle/LofZNaNzGe22W7XG7

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

Labubus & FOMO-JOMO

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 04 Dec 2025 00:00:00 -0800

This Isn't Therapy... it's a convo about fans and fandoms, trends and crazes, and the recent fanaticism about Labubus. Next up, we'll cover JOMO: The Joy of Missing Out and how that differs from FOMO: The Fear of Missing Out.

Asking for a Friend:
https://forms.gle/LofZNaNzGe22W7XG7

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

Touch Deprivation & Wicked: For Good

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 27 Nov 2025 00:00:00 -0800

This Isn't Therapy... it's a long-awaited discussion of Wicked: For Good! But first, we discuss the emerging phenomenon of touch deprivation and how skin hunger keeps us locked into cycles of disconnection.

Asking for a Friend:
https://forms.gle/LofZNaNzGe22W7XG7

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

K-Pop Demon Hunters & Mushroom Mommies

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 20 Nov 2025 00:00:00 -0800

We're back!! This Isn't Therapy...this is a fun, flirty, fab convo about K-Pop Demon Hunters and Mushroom Mommies. Both have more therapy themes than you think…

Asking for a Friend:
https://forms.gle/LofZNaNzGe22W7XG7

ENCORE: Giving feedback to your therapist

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 06 Nov 2025 00:00:00 -0800

This Isn't Therapy...this is an episode about some hard truths learned in therapy. Ever wonder how to give your therapist some feedback?! Or even how would my therapist react if I gave them some feedback?! Through a story posted by an anonymous reddit user, Jake and Simon examine a therapists' struggle after they received some challenging feedback from a client. Then, through some lovely listener submissions, we flip the script and explore some hard truths some folks have taken away from their therapists. Grab a bib coz baby this episode is juicy!!!!!

P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

ENCORE: The pursuit of endless bliss

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 30 Oct 2025 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it's an *encore* episode about the pursuit of endless bliss. Many people arrive to therapy with a "fantasy goal" thinking they want to be calm, happy, and relaxed all the time. Through two #lovelylistener stories, Jake and Simon talk about how to find a realistic sense of joy, happiness, purpose, and pleasure and what we can (or should) expect from life. This episode is for those wondering why the pursuit of endless bliss doesn’t produce the feelings (and lasting results) they promise.

Read more: The Pursuit of Endless Bliss by Jake Ernst.

Don't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

ENCORE: Is therapy harming kids?

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 23 Oct 2025 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy...this is an *encore* critical look at the argument that children need less therapy, not more, and how this "mental heath culture" is stripping parents of autonomy, ultimately causing more harm than good. In this episode, Jake and Simon dive into a review (written by Anna Nordberg for Slate) for a book by a right-leaning conspiracy theorist titled Bad Therapy. "In Bad Therapy, Shrier [the book's author] ladles heavy helpings of anecdote over some scientific research to argue that therapists, school counselors, and the language of therapy that has influenced parenting in the past decade or so are, in her view, harming kids." So, what really is harming the kids? Is it therapy or maybe, just maybe, it's something else...

Source: Who’s Making The Kids Cry by Anna Nordberg for Slate

P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

ENCORE: The pressure to be happy

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 16 Oct 2025 07:57:06 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it's the *encore* episode about the pressure to be happy. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about how to feel authentically happy when there's a lot of pressure to perform positivity or force happy feelings. Jake and Simon hear from two Lovely Listeners who wonder about the true meaning of happiness and how to spot the difference between authentic joy versus fake happiness. In a culture that might encourage us to "just think positive!" we're asking "...should we?"

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Validate us by...
Following us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Following us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcast
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

ENCORE: How social media is re-wiring our brain

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 09 Oct 2025 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it's the *encore* surprise solo session with Jake! In this episode, Jake shares two snippets from his weekly newsletter Just Trying To Help. Jake walks us through his theories for how social media is re-wiring our brains, reshaping our moods, and changing how we connect.

P.S. Happy Leap Year! Ribbit Ribbit!

Read the full articles here:

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Validate us by...
Following us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Following us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcast
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

ENCORE: Doom-slang is making us numb

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 02 Oct 2025 04:55:34 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it's an *encore* doomy episode about the ever-evolving landscape of doomslang. Doomslang, coined by author and linguist Amanda Montell, is a term used to describe dystopian jargon like “dumpster fire” and “doomscroll” and “bed rot”. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about how the constant conjuring of End Times is having surprising, unintended, and maybe even dangerous, consequences. From bed rot to brainrot, this episode sure packs a doomsday punch! Oh... and be sure to tune in this week for a very imporant Summertime announcement!

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Validate us by...
Following us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Following us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcast
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

ENCORE: We talk to an AI therapist!

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 25 Sep 2025 00:00:00 -0700

FROM THE VAULT: This Isn't Therapy... it's the *encore* episode about AI therapists and if they can ever replace the real thing. In this episode, Jake and Simon discuss a recent BBC article about why teens are seeking out AI therapist bots and what that means for the future of mental health. Conversational AI or, in other words, "chatbots with a personality" are gaining more attention and users are finding new therapy-ish use-cases on platforms like Character.ai and Replika. The pros, the cons, the risks, and the benefits. All that and more!

BBC Article discussed: Young people turning to AI therapist bots

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Validate us by...
Following us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Following us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcast
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

ENCORE: What to do when therapy isn't working

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Fri, 19 Sep 2025 09:07:29 -0700

This isn't therapy... and it's not working out, either! In this *encore* episode, Jake and Simon discuss what to do when therapy isn't working. Importantly, they talk about how to know if therapy is actually working and what to do when you feel like it's not. This episode is based on a Lovely Listener question: "If I cry in therapy, does that mean it's working?" Strap in!

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Validate us by...
Following us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Following us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcast
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

ENCORE: Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 28 Aug 2025 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it's the episode about the four F's: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. In this episode, Jake and Simon discuss the four threat responses and how to move through tough situations and face what's in front of us. This episode is for anyone who feels trapped by their reactions or is left feeling overwhelmed by stressful situations. These responses are what make us human; it is better to embrace them and face them rather than become ruled by them.

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi!
Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Follow us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcast
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

ENCORE: The two most essential skills for relationships

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 21 Aug 2025 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it's a long overdue convo about the two most essential skills in relationships. In this episode, Jake and Simon discuss a statistic about emotional availability: on average, we are only emotionally available for our partners about 9% of the time. With that in mind, they discuss how to get closer to the 9% using the two essential skills of attunement and repair. Throughout the episode, they discuss how to implement these skills through the development of micro-skills.

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi!
Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Follow us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcast
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

ENCORE: The invisible toll of parentification

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 14 Aug 2025 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it's the episode about one of the things that robs kids of a care-free childhood: being parentified. When kids are forced to grow up too soon and become adults in childhood, kids can take on adult-like responsibilities and burdens. In this episode, we talk about the difference between healthy responsibility for kids and parentification and talk about the impact of having childhood stolen from us and being burdened before we're developmentally ready.

Article: Were you a ‘parentified child’? What happens when children have to behave like adults By Nivida Chandra

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

ENCORE: Parasocial Relationships

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 07 Aug 2025 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it's the episode about parasocial relationships; the one-sided emotional connections we have with casual acquaintances, people we "know" online, characters we watch in television and movies, and people we admire from afar. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about some examples from pop culture, such as Chappell Roan's desire to set boundaries as a celebrity and Sabrina Carpenter's previous relationship. In addition, they pull examples from two articles to answer one curious question: Have we reached Peak Parasocial?

Article 1: In a Celebrity-Obsessed World, Have We Reached Peak Parasocial? By Anna Cafolla

Article 2: What are parasocial relationships doing to our brains? By Allegra Rosenberg

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi!
Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Follow us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcast
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

ENCORE: The Empathy Wars

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 31 Jul 2025 00:00:00 -0700

This isn’t therapy… it’s part three in our series about the war on human connection. In this episode, we talk about how overwhelming people with tragic and distressing information about the world leads to a decline in empathy. Jake and Simon discuss how a decline in rates of empathy affect our ability to practice perspective taking and experience empathic concern.

Article: Empathy Is Dying And So Are We by Rita Jabbour

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi!
Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Follow us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcast
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

ENCORE: The Opinion Wars

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 24 Jul 2025 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it's a follow up to last week's episode about the attention wars. In this episode, we explore the concept of "agree to disagree" and how there seems to be a war of opinions playing out in our culture. Is it really possible to find common ground when opinions clash? We discuss strategies for navigating disagreements and the key differences between opinion-based and values-based conflicts. Can we respectfully acknowledge opposing views, or does disagreement signal a deeper divide?

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi!
Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Follow us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcast
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

ENCORE: The Attention Wars

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 17 Jul 2025 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it's a frank discussion about the "attention economy"—where companies compete to capture our focus to sell us products. We break down the difference between attention, focus, and concentration, and examine how the constant battle for our attention impacts our mental health, productivity, and relationships. We discuss the hidden costs of a world where attention is monetized, and how we can reclaim control in this distraction-driven landscape.

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi!
Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Follow us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcast
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

ENCORE: Feeling Hopeless

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 03 Jul 2025 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it's our *encore* eppy from our first episode BACKKKK (from last year!!) This week, we're talking about why finding hope can often feel so hopeless in hopeless in times. We peel back the curtain on an article from The New Yorker called "Do you have hope?" which looks at the ways hope can live alongside despair, pain, and grief. We discuss what hope is, how hope can be active or passive, and how to use active forms of hope as a way of coping with challenging times and taking effective action on your goals.

Article: Do you have hope? By Joshua Rothman

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

ENCORE: Can AI replace human relationships?

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 26 Jun 2025 05:21:42 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it's a thought-provoking *encore* episode about the growing influence of artificial intelligence in our personal lives. We ask the big question: Can AI truly replace human relationships? From AI companions and virtual therapists to chatbots that promise emotional support, technology is reshaping the way we connect. But what happens when machines become more accessible, predictable, and even more “reliable” than people?Are we building a world where technology enhances relationships—or one where it erodes the need for them altogether?

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

ENCORE: Learning to be alone

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 19 Jun 2025 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy...this is a flirty fab *encore* conversation about loneliness versus being alone. Through two #lovelylistener stories, Jake and Simon explore feelings around how we can feel lonely even though we're surrounded by people we love. Also, how being alone does not always mean you are lonely.

P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question to Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

ENCORE: Is it possible to be "too emotional"?

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 12 Jun 2025 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy...it’s the ENCORE to our episode about emotions and emotionality. Am I overacting? Under-reacting? In this conversation, Jake and Simon chat about the normal, human, everyday emotions that show up in our lives. How do we know if our reactions are within a healthy range? They use the Window of Tolerance model to discuss big and small emotions, how to widen our windows, and what to do when emotions don’t seem to match the situation in front of us.

Don't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us:: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

The Mind-Body Connection

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 05 Jun 2025 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it's a discussion about the mind-body connection~ wooOOoO!! Nah, in all seriousness, Jake and Simon unpack some interesting data about the gut and how it's being considered a second brain for its ability to drive instinct, help us refocus, and hone in on what really matters. In this episode, we discuss through some final lovely listener submissions and hear what y'all are thinking about as it pertains to this important, and often overlooked, piece of the mental health puzzle!

P.S. This is our final episode of the season. Stay tuned for epic encore replays all summer long and keep your eyes peeled for an announcement about our next season in Fall 2025!

Got an episode idea? Or maybe even a quandary, query, or question? Submit your thoughts (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

So what are emotions, anyway?

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 29 May 2025 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it's the episode about emotions! In this episode, Jake and Simon respond to a listener question... so what are emotions, anyway? They break down the core emotions and how to distinguish emotions from feelings, thoughts, and moods. This episode is def for you if you've ever wondered how to control your emotions (or can you?) and what to do when the social emotions like guilt, shame, jealousy, pride, and indignation come into the mix. Come on in... emotions don't have to be scary! ;)

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

How to become your true self

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Fri, 23 May 2025 03:45:23 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it's a juicy convo about what it takes to become self-led. In this episode, we talk about self-leadership and how to build a sturdy and reliable self-esteem that doesn't dissolve under the sometimes-crushing weight of criticism, negative feedback, shame and self-doubt. This is an active episode so grab your pens and notebooks. Jake walks the lovely listeners through a four-part journalling exercise, rooted in four reflective questions, to help you create authentic self-leadership.

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

Validate me, please!

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 15 May 2025 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it's an episode about seeking validation (online). Are we becoming obsessed with our quest for constant reassurance, approval, and external validation? In this episode, Jake and Simon explore the sugar high that comes with too much external affirmation and how this weird, wacky, online world is eroding our sense of self. But is it vain to want a compliment? How can I become a more secure and confident person? Is it bad to want to look to others for approval? Or is that... survival? All this and more on this week's juicy, juicy episode!

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

VOX Article: Validate Me, Please! by Allie Volpe

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Validate us by...
Following us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Following us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcast
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

The problem with positivity: Unpacking the pressure to be happy

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 08 May 2025 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it's the episode about the pressure to be happy. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about how to feel authentically happy when there's a lot of pressure to perform positivity or force happy feelings. Jake and Simon hear from two Lovely Listeners who wonder about the true meaning of happiness and how to spot the difference between authentic joy versus fake happiness. In a culture that might encourage us to "just think positive!" we're asking "...should we?"

Peak Parasocial: The social relationships that aren't

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 01 May 2025 00:00:00 -0700

Article 2: What are parasocial relationships doing to our brains? By Allegra Rosenberg

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi!
Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Follow us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcast
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 24 Apr 2025 00:00:00 -0700

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi!
Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Follow us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcast
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

The two most essential skills for relationships

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 17 Apr 2025 00:00:00 -0700

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi!
Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Follow us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcast
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

Have we lost the plot in our attempts to de-stigmatize mental health?

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 10 Apr 2025 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it's a conversation about mental health stigma and how we may have lost the plot in our attempts to de-stigmatize mental health. In this episode, we unpack RaQuel Hopkins' viral videos about mental health language, turning mental health labels into identities, and expanding our resilience and personal capacity to tolerate difficult life circumstances. Jake and Simon discuss her idea that the over-reliance on mental health tools may be making us "weaker" and how to build a real, stronger capacity to handle what comes our way versus just managing mental health symptoms.

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi!
Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Follow us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcast
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

The Empathy Wars: Declining connection in a divided world

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 03 Apr 2025 00:00:00 -0700

Article: Empathy Is Dying And So Are We by Rita Jabbour

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi!
Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Follow us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcast
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

The Opinion Wars: Can we really "agree to disagree"?

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 27 Mar 2025 00:00:00 -0700

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi!
Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Follow us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcast
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

The Attention Wars: How the attention economy is reshaping the world… and us

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Wed, 19 Mar 2025 21:02:15 -0700

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi!
Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Follow us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcast
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

How to be alone without feeling lonely

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 13 Mar 2025 00:00:00 -0700

This isn't therapy... it's a deeper dive into the topic of loneliness. Through stories submitted by the Loveliest Listeners, Jake and Simon discuss the crisis of loneliness and how to differentiate between feelings of loneliness and being alone. They also talk about the number one protective factor to combat loneliness and share their own reflections about how modern lifestyles shape our experiences of aloneness and loneliness.

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Validate us by...
Following us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Following us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcast
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

What to do when therapy isn't working

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 06 Mar 2025 00:00:00 -0800

This isn't therapy... and it's not working out, either! In this episode, Jake and Simon discuss what to do when therapy isn't working. Importantly, they talk about how to know if therapy is actually working and what to do when you feel like it's not. This episode is based on a Lovely Listener question: "If I cry in therapy, does that mean it's working?" Strap in!

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Validate us by...
Following us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Following us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcast
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

External validation and the quest for self-worth

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 27 Feb 2025 00:00:00 -0800

This Isn't Therapy... it's an episode about seeking validation (online). Are we becoming obsessed with our quest for constant reassurance, approval, and external validation? Piggy backing off last week's episode on narcism, Jake and Simon explore the sugar high that comes with too much external affirmation and how this weird, wacky, online world is eroding our sense of self. But is it vain to want a compliment? How can I become a more secure and confident person? Is it bad to want to look to others for approval? Or is that...survival? All this and more on this week's juicy, juicy episode!

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

VOX Article: Validate Me, Please! by Allie Volpe

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Validate us by...
Following us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Following us on TikTok: @notatherapypodcast
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

Where did all these narcissists come from?

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 20 Feb 2025 00:00:00 -0800

This Isn't Therapy... it's the long-overdue episode about narcissism. In this episode, we break down what narcissism really is, how it differs from strong self-esteem and healthy narcissism, and why the term is being overused in today’s culture. While true narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a serious condition, many of us display narcissistic traits from time to time—so where do we draw the line? We also explore the consequences of labeling people as narcissists too quickly, how this impacts relationships, and what we might actually be struggling with when we feel hurt by someone’s behaviour.

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

Inside the mind of a Chameleon Kid

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 13 Feb 2025 00:00:00 -0800

This Isn't Therapy... it's a deep dive into the world of “chameleon kids” — children who adapt their personalities, emotions, and behaviours to fit their surroundings and meet the unspoken needs of others. These kids are often labeled as “the good child,” “the helper,” or “the rule-follower,” but beneath the surface lies a complex mix of empathy, self-monitoring, and an innate drive to keep the peace. We’ll explore why chameleon kids shape-shift to gain approval, maintain harmony, and avoid adding stress to their families. We’ll also uncover how these early habits often carry into adulthood, leading to challenges with boundaries, self-expression, and people-pleasing.

Article: Pay Attention To The Chameleon Kids by Jake Ernst

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

Nanoships, microconnections, and bite-sized bonds

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 06 Feb 2025 00:00:00 -0800

This Isn't Therapy... it's a frank convo about the ever-changing language we use to describe our relationships. From loud looking to kiss-mets, the way we're seeking and obtaining connections continues to change alongside changes in technology and culture. This week, we discuss how nanoships, or in other words bite-sized relational moments, may be impacting our ability to connect with each other more deeply. We look to a report from Tinder (lol) to dissect how companies incentivize the use of their dating apps, potentially keeping us locked in cycles of social and emotional disconnection. Some are calling it microconnection and we have some thoughts about that.

Article 1: Is Microconnecting The Next Big Dating Trend? By Dr. Bruce Lee
Article 2: Tinder's Year In Swipe 2024

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

Regret It or Forget It: When to regret and when to release

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 30 Jan 2025 00:00:00 -0800

This Isn't Therapy... it’s a juicy convo about the power of regret. In a culture that would prefer us to "get over it" and "forget it" altogether, we unpack the ways that regret and remorse play out across the lifespan. Through listener story submissions, we discuss when it’s best to regret and when it's better to release. This conversation is for those who play the "Coulda, Shoulda, Woulda" game and hang on to prior mistakes, previous wrongdoings, or hold on to the life they could have had if things played out differently.

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

Can AI replace real relationships?

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 23 Jan 2025 00:00:00 -0800

This Isn't Therapy... it's a thought-provoking episode about the growing influence of artificial intelligence in our personal lives. We ask the big question: Can AI truly replace human relationships? From AI companions and virtual therapists to chatbots that promise emotional support, technology is reshaping the way we connect. But what happens when machines become more accessible, predictable, and even more “reliable” than people?Are we building a world where technology enhances relationships—or one where it erodes the need for them altogether?

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

Too much, too young: The toll of parentification

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 16 Jan 2025 00:00:00 -0800

Article: Were you a ‘parentified child’? What happens when children have to behave like adults By Nivida Chandra

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

Four questions to help you become self-led

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 09 Jan 2025 00:00:00 -0800

Got a quandary, query, or question? Submit your Q (anonymously) to Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

Why does finding hope feel so hopeless?

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Wed, 01 Jan 2025 20:15:10 -0800

This Isn't Therapy... it's our first episode BACKKKK! This week, we're talking about why finding hope can often feel so hopeless in hopeless in times. We peel back the curtain on an article from The New Yorker called "Do you have hope?" which looks at the ways hope can live alongside despair, pain, and grief. We discuss what hope is, how hope can be active or passive, and how to use active forms of hope as a way of coping with challenging times and taking effective action on your goals.

Article: Do you have hope? By Joshua Rothman

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Original music composed by Kat Burns and performed by KASHKA.

ENCORE: How the Grinch Stole Therapy

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Tue, 24 Dec 2024 00:00:00 -0800

This Isn't Therapy...this is an *encore* performance of our original spin on the famed holiday classic!! This Isn't Therapy presents: How the Grinch Stole Therapy. Every Who down in Whoville liked wellness a lot...but the Grinch, who lived just north of Whoville, did NOT. The Grinch hated wellness! The whole "therapy speak." Now, please don't ask why, the reason is bleak...

Enjoy this fun, flirty, fabulous episode narrated (and written AND performed) by Jake Ernst and Simon Paluck. To all our lovely listeners, thank you for joining us this year. We wish you all a restful holiday season, and we look forward to bringing you more silly seriousness in the new year!

xox

Don't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

ENCORE: ✨'Twas the Night Before Therapy ✨

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 19 Dec 2024 00:00:00 -0800

This Isn't Therapy...but this is an *encore* performance of our original spin on the famed holiday classic!! This Isn't Therapy presents: 'Twas the Night Before Therapy. On the eve of her first therapy session, Molly is grappling with all her worries and woes when suddenly she's visited by two magical guests from her ~favourite~ podcast. Enjoy this fun, flirty, fabulous BONUS episode narrated (& performed) by Jake and Simon. To all our lovely listeners, thank you for being here, we wish you a restful holidays, and cheers to all the adventures to come!! xox

Join us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

ENCORE: Being chronically online

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 12 Dec 2024 04:36:26 -0800

This Isn't Therapy... it’s an *encore* conversation about being chronically online. In segment one, Jake and Simon talk about Brené Brown’s recent splash back into social media (welcome back BB!) and read an excerpt from her tear-jerking blog post where she talks about taking time away from the internet. In segment two, Jake and Simon chat about the pros and cons of being constantly online and what Jake is #noticing in the therapy room.

Articles:

Don't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

ENCORE: Transference and Countertransference

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 05 Dec 2024 04:52:00 -0800

This isn’t therapy… it’s an *encore* conversation about when the past is present in the therapy room. In this episode, Jake and Simon explore two therapy terms, transference and countertransference, to open up a conversation about what happens when clients own history is transferred onto a therapist and what happens when a therapist’s own history is transferred onto a client. It’s a conversation you don’t want to miss!

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

ENCORE: Learning to adapt

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 28 Nov 2024 13:50:32 -0800

This Isn't Therapy...this is an *encore* fun, flirty convo about adapting to scenarios while keeping your values in check (*DING*). On this episode of the pod, Jake and Simon discuss two lovely listener stories, safe spaces, the embarrassing Ontario Catholic school board's decision to ~not~ fly a pride flag, and our new queer icon, Tina the Troll. Also, stay tuned to the end of the ep because we may or may not have a favour to ask! HAPPY PRIDE!!! <3333

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

ENCORE: "Thinking isn't doing"

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 21 Nov 2024 00:00:00 -0800

This Isn't Therapy... it’s an *encore* episode about thinking, over-thinking, and sorting through seas of misinformation online. In segment one, Jake and Simon discuss findings from a small study by PlushCare which looked at videos on TikTok and misleading mental health information. In segment two, they discuss how collecting and consuming mental health information online isn’t the same as applying it. Jake also shares an actionable script to help the Lovely Listeners find action when stuck in cycles of overthinking. CHUNK IT AND DO IT!!!

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

ENCORE: People Pleasing

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 14 Nov 2024 08:06:02 -0800

This Isn't Therapy...this is an *encore* conversation about people pleasing. Through two #lovelylistener stories, Jake and Simon explore the root of people pleasing - where the behaviour stems from and how it comes to be. How do I stop people pleasing??? Get ready to laugh/cry/uncover the phenomenon known as the chameleon child. "Trying to make life fair for people around you doesn’t make up for the unfairness of your childhood." Woof.

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

ENCORE: What are my needs? (Part 2)

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 07 Nov 2024 00:00:00 -0800

This Isn't Therapy...this is a (part 2) fun, flirty, fabulous convo about our needs! If you haven't listened to part one yet, what are you doing?! Go listen and then come back, Wendy!! In this episode, Jake and Simon expand on our types of needs and introduce us to our core relational needs of safety, belonging and mattering (the tandem needs!) and then discuss the difference between Mimetic Desire and Mimetic Rivalries. How do we know if our needs are being met? This is a must-listen episode!

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

ENCORE: What are my needs? (Part 1)

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 31 Oct 2024 04:46:19 -0700

This Isn't Therapy...this is a (part 1) conversation about our needs - what are they? Why is everyone talking about them? And how do you know if your needs are being met? What follows is a funny and fabulous convo about Primal, Survival, and Growth needs (oh my!) This episode is essential for anyone out there wondering: what are my needs?!

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

ENCORE: Lying to your therapist

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 24 Oct 2024 13:49:34 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it's the pinocchio-inspired epi about lying to your therapist. In this episode, Jake and Simon use a case scenario as a study about lies, fibs, and fairytales in the therapy room. They talk about what may lie beneath our lies (hehe) and can what happen when a therapist may suspect a lie is being told.

P.S. The notes we were singing are Bb and A! ;)

Don't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

ENCORE: Adulting is hard

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 17 Oct 2024 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it's an *encore* conversation about becoming an emotional adult. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about the mirage of adulthood and the search for the "real adults". They dive into an article by Kathryn Jezer-Morton for The Cut called Does anyone feel like an actual adult?This one's for all the adults who feel like they’re wearing a grown up costume or cosplaying as an adult.

Don't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

ENCORE: Emotional Immaturity

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 10 Oct 2024 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it's an *encore* episode about dealing with emotionally immature people. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about spotting the signs of an emotionally immature adult and how emotional immaturity in parents can impact the children they're raising. We're returning to a beloved format in this epi-- lovely listener submissions + expert-level quotes = one juicy convo! ‎💋‎💋

Article: Emotionally Immature ParentsBy Psych Central

Don't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

ENCORE: Is doomslang making us all numb?

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 03 Oct 2024 00:00:00 -0700

P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question for our end segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

ENCORE: The eerie hype of self-improvement influencers

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 26 Sep 2024 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy...this is an *encore* deep dive into self-improvement influencers and the impact they're having on men: "how to be more alpha by yelling at the ocean!! How to get a six pack by eating a pound of raw liver a day!! Why being sad is a state of mind so go chew on a football!!!! Oh no!! Don't fret though, Simon and Jake keep it flirty and fun as they discuss the online obsession with fitness, mindset, and self-optimization. Are we undoing the progress we’ve made to reduce mental health stigma?!

Sources:
- Beware Lifestyle Fascismby Maya Vinokour
-Why the politics of young men and women are drifting further and further apartby Nimo Omer for The Guardian

P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

ENCORE: Making New Friends

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 19 Sep 2024 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it's an *encore* convo about makin' new friends, Mary! In this week's episode, Jake and Simon talk about our social health and what's getting in the way of making new friends and forging new social connections. They also discuss if it's good or bad to connect with people really fast and tackle a listener question about building a new circle of friends.

*NEW* Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

ENCORE: Help! My therapist broke up with me...

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 12 Sep 2024 04:41:01 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it’s an *encore* episode about being broken up with by a therapist. In this episode, Jake and Simon read two stories, one submitted to the Reddit r/AskATherapist community and one submitted by a Lovely Listener! Jake and Simon break down some of the reasons why therapists may also break up with a client. It's a juicy one!

P.S. The debate about hand washing has been settled! Go check out our Instagram for the results.

P.S.S. Send us your episode idea: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

ENCORE: Dating apps, hook up culture, and situationships

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 05 Sep 2024 00:00:00 -0700

This isn't therapy, baby, it's a conversation about dating and modern relationship expectations. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about hook up culture and the current dating landscape for singles, one where dating apps (and one company in particular!) set the tone for our future with one another. They talk about "situationships" and how to spot the characteristics of a situationship-- a casual, undefined, commitment-free relationship.

Article referenced: What is a situationship? By Sanjana Gupta

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

ENCORE: Hot takes and the pressure to be an expert

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Wed, 28 Aug 2024 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it’s a conversation about problem spotting, hot take culture, the loss of expertise, and the pressure to have an opinion about everything. Get ready for some hot takes about hot takes! In this episode, Jake and Simon unpack an article written by Jake called You Don’t Have To Be The Fixer. Let's get into it, Mary!

A quote from the article: “You do not need to fix every problem you notice. You do not need to sign up for more problems to solve. Sometimes it is better to let problems be problems rather than answer our urge to solve them.”

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

ENCORE: Is it my personality or my mental health?

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Wed, 21 Aug 2024 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it's the long-time-coming conversation about personality differences and mental health! In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about The Big Five personality types - Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism (recently re-termed Emotional Stability). They talk about the difference between personality traits and a mental health issue (they oftne get confused!!) through the unpacking of two well-known personality typologies: Introverts and Extroverts. Hold on to your hat, Wendy, because we're setting sail on a magical journey into personality! Is shyness a personality trait or a mental health problem? Tune in to find out! :o

Book discussed: "Quiet" by Susan Cain

P.S - Got an idea for an episode? A story to submit? Reach out: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

ENCORE: Best Friends Forever? It's a myth.

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 15 Aug 2024 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy...this is a conversation about the best friends forever myth. There is so much pressure to find your other half, your #squad, someone to share that BFF bracelet with. But what happens when you don't have a BFF? Do "best friends" even exist? On this episode of the pod, Jake and Simon chat through an article in the Standard (source below) and discuss what happens when you get hung up on the perfect all-in-one friend. Then, in our newest/shiniest/sexiest final segment, Asking For a Friend, a #lovelylistener queries about irrational fears.

Article: Best Friends Forever? It's a Myth by Claire Cohen.

NEW* Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

ENCORE: When therapy sessions become devastating TV

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Fri, 09 Aug 2024 07:11:31 -0700

This isn't therapy... it's some straight up real talk about depictions of therapy in popular media. Simon and Jake talk about the emerging media genre of fly-on-the-wall therapy. From explosive couples’ dramas on TV to podcasts with recorded therapy sessions, fly-on-the-wall therapy is pulling in huge audiences. But is it ethical? Is it exploitation? Is it just unhealthy voyeurism? In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about what happens when therapy sessions become public and streamed to the masses.

Article: ‘It was actually beautiful’: the wild rise in people turning their therapy sessions into devastating TV by Eleanor Morgan

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

ENCORE: Is therapy harming kids?

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 01 Aug 2024 00:00:00 -0700

Source: Who’s Making The Kids Cry by Anna Nordberg for Slate

P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

ENCORE: Phubbing 🤳✋

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 25 Jul 2024 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn’t Therapy… it’s an *encore* discussion about “phubbing”— the act of snubbing someone with your phone. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about phone use and how it impacts our relationships with friends, family members, and partners. They also talk about a recent study, which found that higher phone use was associated with more relationship problems, and an article by a therapist, called “As A Therapist, I Know What’s Breaking Couples Up.” Hint hint, it’s allegedly the smartphone. 📲🤳🏼👀

Article discussed: As A Therapist, I Know What’s Breaking Couples Up by Andrew Sofin

Link to the study: More Scrolling, More Marital Problems conducted by Wendy Wang and Michael Toscano of the Institute for Family Studies (IFS)

Don't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

ENCORE: The pursuit of endless bliss ✨👀

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 18 Jul 2024 00:00:00 -0700

Read more: The Pursuit of Endless Bliss by Jake Ernst.

Don't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

ENCORE: Parenting your partner

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 11 Jul 2024 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... this is an *encore* conversation about becoming the stand-in parent for the people around you. Are you the one always making the plans? Do find yourself saying "don't forget to..." a lot? When did you sign up to coach the people around you into "becoming the better version of themselves"? Oh, mama. Let's talk. Take out your finest quill and parchment because we're chatting through mother hen syndrome and how being the thinking brain/emotional caretaker for others leads to relationship burnout. We'll also talk about the origins of these caring behaviours and discuss the difference between genuine caring and chronic caretaking. Also, we meet Gary and Bella -- did Gary ever find his sunnies?

Article: Why 'Raising' Your Partner Leads to Relationship Burnout. by Yvonne Castañeda

P.S. Send us your episode idea: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

ENCORE: Giving Feedback To Your Therapist

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 04 Jul 2024 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy...this is an *encore* episode about some hard truths learned in therapy. Ever wonder how to give your therapist some feedback?! Or even how would my therapist react if I gave them some feedback?! Through a story posted by an anonymous reddit user, Jake and Simon examine a therapists' struggle after they received some challenging feedback from a client. Then, through some lovely listener submissions, we flip the script and explore some hard truths some folks have taken away from their therapists. Grab a bib coz baby this episode is juicy!!!!!

P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

ENCORE: Mattering

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 27 Jun 2024 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it’s an *encore* discussion about the importance of mattering. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about mattering, a feeling of meaningful significance to others, and what that looks like, sounds like, and feels like in relationships. Jake walks us through the questions he asks his clients when they report that, or he gets the sense that, they feel like they don't matter to those who matter to them. Yeehaw! Mattering matters!

Bonus: This episode was featured on CBC's Podcast Playlist!! That's right, our This Isn't Therapy hit the national broadcast airwaves, baby, and landed a spot on CBC's Best Indie Podcasts list! ✨💖

>> CBC's Podcast Playlist: Full episode (or wherever you play your podcasts!)

>> *NEW* Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

ENCORE: AI Therapist vs. Human Therapist

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 20 Jun 2024 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it's the *encore* episode about AI therapists and if they can ever replace the real thing. In this episode, Jake and Simon discuss a recent BBC article about why teens are seeking out AI therapist bots and what that means for the future of mental health. Conversational AI or, in other words, "chatbots with a personality" are gaining more attention and users are finding new therapy-ish use-cases on platforms like Character.ai and Replika. The pros, the cons, the risks, and the benefits. All that and more!

BBC Article discussed: Young people turning to AI therapist bots

Don't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

ENCORE: Loneliness vs. Being Alone

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 13 Jun 2024 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy...this is a fun, flirty, fab, encore conversation about loneliness versus being alone. Through two #lovelylistener stories, Jake and Simon explore feelings around how we can feel lonely even though we're surrounded by people we love. Also, how being alone does not always mean you are lonely.

P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

ENCORE: The Rise In Therapy Language

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 06 Jun 2024 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it's the encore episode about the overuse of therapy language and the impact its having on our relationships. Gaslighting? Triggered? Trauma-bonding? What do these words actually mean!? And are we using them correctly? Listen to find out. Also, Jake and Simon welcome special guests: Dr. Miriam-Webster, Tammy Toxic, and Gary Gaslight. This is an episode you absolutely don't want to miss, mmmmmkay?

Articles:

TIME: Gaslighting, Narcissist, and More Psychology Terms You're Misusing by Angela Haupt
The New York Times: How the Language of Therapy Took Over Dating by Dani Blum

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Bonjourrrr, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

Navigating Change

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 30 May 2024 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy...this is our *final* episode until the summer break!! On this weeks eppy, Jake and Simon asked "how do you navigate change?" Through two #lovelylisteners stories, they explore the honest struggle that comes with sudden change and how defaulting to "old habits" isn't necessarily a bad thing. Juicy! Sidebar: if you're a first time caller or a long time listener, thank you for being here! See you in the fall xo

P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question for our end segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Is doomslang making us all numb?

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 23 May 2024 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it's a doomy episode about the ever-evolving landscape of doomslang. Doomslang, coined by author and linguist Amanda Montell, is a term used to describe dystopian jargon like “dumpster fire” and “doomscroll” and “bed rot”. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about how the constant conjuring of End Times is having surprising, unintended, and maybe even dangerous, consequences. From bed rot to brainrot, this episode sure packs a doomsday punch! Oh... and be sure to tune in this week for a very imporant Summertime announcement!

P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question for our end segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

The Control Paradox

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 16 May 2024 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy...this is a fun, flirty, fab conversation about the control paradox! Arg! How do I get more control? Why must I try to fix everything?! Through two #lovelylistener stories, Simon and Jake explore the paradox of managing our fear of not having control by trying to get more of it. Also, what happens when we try to rush to resolve everything, all the time? AKA being a fix it, Ralph!! Listen to find out.

P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Exploring our inner world

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 09 May 2024 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it's a long-overdue convo about inner worlds and inner children! What is an inner child? Does everyone have one? How do I know if I have one? In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about how to reconnect with our inner kids and how to know whether or not our inner child needs healing, attention, connection, or care. What follows is a discussion about inner worlds and why or why we shouldn't explore, or escape into, our inner landscape.

Quote from the episode: "Being left alone with our stressful emotions in childhood creates a wounded inner child in need of healing."

P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

The eerie hype of self-improvement influencers

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 02 May 2024 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy...this is an (accidental) deep dive into self-improvement influencers and the impact they're having on men: "how to be more alpha by yelling at the ocean!! How to get a six pack by eating a pound of raw liver a day!! Why being sad is a state of mind so go chew on a football!!!! Oh no!! Don't fret though, Simon and Jake keep it flirty and fun as they discuss the online obsession with fitness, mindset, and self-optimization. Are we undoing the progress we’ve made to reduce mental health stigma?!

Sources:
- Beware Lifestyle Fascismby Maya Vinokour
-Why the politics of young men and women are drifting further and further apartby Nimo Omer for The Guardian

P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

6 Types of Play Everyone Needs

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 25 Apr 2024 00:00:00 -0700

This isn't therapy... it's an episode about the six types of play everyone needs. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about the growing rates of play deprivation and how we've become starved of this essential ingredient for wellbeing. They cover the three types of play we need in infancy and childhood and discuss the three types of play we need in adolescence and adulthood. Let the true meaning behind "fun, flirty, and fabulous" commence!

P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Does anyone feel like an actual adult?

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 18 Apr 2024 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it's a conversation about becoming a confident, capable, and emotionally mature adult. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about the mirage of adulthood and the search for the "real adults". If you're feeling the pressure to perform a certain brand of adulthood, you don't want to miss this one. Jake and Simon dive into an article by Kathryn Jezer-Morton for The Cut called Does anyone feel like an actual adult?and tackle the myth of the ~fully realized~ adult. This one's for anyone who feels like they’re cosplaying as an adult or simply wearing a grown up costume.

Don't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Loneliness vs Being Alone

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 11 Apr 2024 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy...this is a flirty fab conversation about loneliness versus being alone. Through two #lovelylistener stories, Jake and Simon explore feelings around how we can feel lonely even though we're surrounded by people we love. Also, how being alone does not always mean you are lonely.

P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Mimetic Rivalries

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 04 Apr 2024 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy...this is the second-half of a convo about needs (we love a Part 2!!) In this episode, Jake and Simon are piggy backing off last week's episode about uncovering our needs and are now exploring what happens when our needs lead to comparison or conflict. You know her, you love her, she's a little messy: please welcome to the stage....✨Mimetic Rivalries✨!! DC vs Marvel, Apple vs Google, Simon vs Jake 🥵 - when we become too similar, rivalry occurs....is this a bad thing?!

P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Vocalizing your needs

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 28 Mar 2024 04:13:57 -0700

This Isn't Therapy...this is a two-part conversation about meeting your needs. What are my needs? What are your needs? How do we meet each others needs?! Oh boy!! In this fun, flirty, fab *throwback* episode, Jake and Simon chat through Primal, Survival, and Growth needs: their evolutionary purpose, self-care, and the difficulty of figuring out what we needs are, in the first place...

P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Is therapy harming kids?

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 21 Mar 2024 05:22:44 -0700

This Isn't Therapy...this is a critical look at the argument that children need less therapy, not more, and how this "mental heath culture" is stripping parents of autonomy, ultimately causing more harm than good. In this episode, Jake and Simon dive into a review (written by Anna Nordberg for Slate) for a book by a right-leaning conspiracy theorist titled Bad Therapy. "In Bad Therapy, Shrier [the book's author] ladles heavy helpings of anecdote over some scientific research to argue that therapists, school counselors, and the language of therapy that has influenced parenting in the past decade or so are, in her view, harming kids." So, what really is harming the kids? Is it therapy or maybe, just maybe, it's something else...

Source: Who’s Making The Kids Cry by Anna Nordberg for Slate

P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Why we want what other people want

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 14 Mar 2024 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it's the episode about mimetic desire: why we want what other people want. Human beings learn everything, including our desires, from imitation. In this episode, Jake and Simon go deep and peek behind the comparison curtain to reveal the reasons why we come to want what other people have. If you've ever thought "Ooh, I want that!" or "I should follow that trend..." or "I want more of that lifestyle." then this episode is for you.

P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Giving feedback to your therapist 👀

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Wed, 13 Mar 2024 16:41:37 -0700

P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

How social media re-wired us all

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 29 Feb 2024 00:00:00 -0800

This Isn't Therapy... it's the surprise solo session with Jake! In this episode, Jake shares two snippets from his weekly newsletter Just Trying To Help. Jake walks us through his theories for how social media is re-wiring our brains, reshaping our moods, and changing how we connect.

P.S. Happy Leap Year! Ribbit Ribbit!

Read the full articles here:

Oh! And don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Stop Opening Up About Your Mental Health Online

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 22 Feb 2024 00:00:00 -0800

This Isn't Therapy... it’s a very frank conversation about oversharing and opening up about your mental health online. In this day and age, we've normalized sharing everything online, but is it really helpful? That's the question being asked by Freya India in her recent article "Stop Opening Up About Your Mental Health Online." In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about the cultural pressure to participate in digital vulnerability and whether or not that's productive or helpful in the long run. Tune in for a nuanced convo about our digital footprints, constant documentation, online boundaries, and how algorithms create pressure to to be, look, think, and feel a certain way.

Oh! And don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Scrutiny, shame, and Taylor Swift criticism

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 15 Feb 2024 00:00:00 -0800

This Isn't Therapy... it’s a bold, beautiful, and brave conversation about ~scrutiny~. Lol no really, it's an important convo about how criticism, judgment, shame, and scrutiny have their way in the public and personal discourse. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about the pros and cons of critical observation and how our judgments help us navigate complex social environments. Oh, and hello, hi to the Swifties and non-Swifties! There's a nugget in this episode for all of you too. 😘 🏈 And stay tuned for a new Asking For A Friend, where Jake and Simon talk about if all emotional reactions are really that deep!

P.S. Don't forget: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Brené Brown answers Jake's question

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Tue, 13 Feb 2024 00:00:00 -0800

This isn't therapy... it's the episode where Brené Brown answers a question from Jake about emotions: "I was thinking about the phrase Mixed Feelings and how feeling more than one feeling at a time can make it hard to label feelings accurately. How do we label emotions precisely when we are feeling a mix of feelings and experiencing separate layers of emotion?"

This is a clip from Brené Brown's episode on her podcast Unlocking Us: Audience Q&A.

Being chronically online

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 08 Feb 2024 00:00:00 -0800

This Isn't Therapy... it’s a timely conversation about being chronically online. In segment one, Jake and Simon talk about Brené Brown’s recent splash back into social media (welcome back BB!) and read an excerpt from her tear-jerking blog post where she talks about taking time away from the internet. In segment two, Jake and Simon chat about the pros and cons of being constantly online and what Jake is #noticing in the therapy room.

Articles:

Don't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Can we really fake it ‘til we make it?

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 01 Feb 2024 00:00:00 -0800

This Isn't Therapy... it's an episode about the age-old adage "fake it 'til you make it!" In this week's episode, Jake and Simon talk about whether or not it's really possible to fake it or pretend our way into a new reality. Through two Lovely Listener stories, they chat through the pros and cons of keeping our cool and trying to be more confident than we actually are. If you're looking to build self-trust, restore lost confidence, or stop yourself from playing the pretend-game, this one's for you!

Don't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

The pursuit of endless bliss 🙃✌️

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 25 Jan 2024 00:00:00 -0800

This Isn't Therapy... it's an episode about the pursuit of endless bliss. Many people arrive to therapy with a "fantasy goal" thinking they want to be calm, happy, and relaxed all the time. Through two #lovelylistener stories, Jake and Simon talk about how to find a realistic sense of joy, happiness, purpose, and pleasure and what we can (or should) expect from life. This episode is for those wondering why the pursuit of endless bliss doesn’t produce the feelings (and lasting results) they promise.

Read more: The Pursuit of Endless Bliss by Jake Ernst.

Don't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

We talk to an AI therapist

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 18 Jan 2024 00:00:00 -0800

This Isn't Therapy... it's the episode about AI therapists and if they can ever replace the real thing. In this episode, Jake and Simon discuss a recent BBC article about why teens are seeking out AI therapist bots and what that means for the future of mental health. Conversational AI or, in other words, "chatbots with a personality" are gaining more attention and users are finding new therapy-ish use-cases on platforms like Character.ai and Replika. The pros, the cons, the risks, and the benefits. All that and more!

BBC Article discussed: Young people turning to AI therapist bots

Don't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Failed Expectations

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 11 Jan 2024 00:00:00 -0800

This Isn't Therapy...this is a conversation about failed expectations. Through two lovely listeners story submissions (and an article, see below), Jake and Simon explore the impact of not meeting the expectations others put on us, as well as the expectations we put on ourselves. Woof! Big stuff - especially around this "new year, new me" time of year. How do we navigate impossible expectations? Or unrealistic standards? And how can we maintain progress in our goals once the initial excitement fades away? Tune into to find out, Mary!!

Don't forget! Send us your quandary, query, or question to Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Sources:

New Year’s Resolution Statistics (2023 Updated)

"9-12% of people keep and stick to their resolutions. Stats report a statistically high rate of failure every year. And still, people are making goals and resolutions that don’t come to fruition."

This Isn't Therapy: Do Resolutions Work?

Asking For A Friend

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 04 Jan 2024 00:00:00 -0800

This isn't therapy, Mary... it's a celebration of our newest segment! This is the first-ever Asking For A Friend roundup! In the past few weeks, we've received soooo many good questions that we just couldn't leave them all in 2023. We wanted to ring in the New Year by answering your frequently asked questions. In this episode, Jake and Simon answer questions about mom advice, how to make big decisions, social media predictions, first time therapy fears, their own morning routines, and how to build the perfect podcast partnership!

We hope you all had a fun, flirty, and fabulous holiday season! Kiss kiss!!!
Next week, we're back to our regularly scheduled programming!

Don't forget! You can submit too! Send us your quandary, query, or question to Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Emotional immaturity 🥺

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Wed, 27 Dec 2023 21:45:11 -0800

This Isn't Therapy... it's the episode about dealing with emotionally immature people. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about spotting the signs of an emotionally immature adult and how emotional immaturity in parents can impact the children they're raising. We're returning to a beloved format in this epi-- lovely listener submissions + expert-level quotes = one juicy convo! ‎💋‎💋

Article: Emotionally Immature Parents By Psych Central

Don't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

How The Grinch Stole Therapy

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 21 Dec 2023 00:00:00 -0800

This Isn't Therapy...this is our original spin on the famed holiday classic!! This Isn't Therapy presents: How the Grinch Stole Therapy. Every Who down in Whoville liked wellness a lot...but the Grinch, who lived just north of Whoville, did NOT. The Grinch hated wellness! The whole "therapy speak." Now, please don't ask why, the reason is bleak...

xox

Don't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Adulting is hard

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 14 Dec 2023 00:00:00 -0800

This Isn't Therapy... it's a conversation about becoming an emotional adult. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about the mirage of adulthood and the search for the "real adults". They dive into an article by Kathryn Jezer-Morton for The Cut called Does anyone feel like an actual adult?This one's for all the adults who feel like they’re wearing a grown up costume or cosplaying as an adult.

Don't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Bonus: We made a Best Indie Podcast list!!

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Tue, 12 Dec 2023 00:00:00 -0800

This Isn't Therapy...this is a BONUS snippet from our feature on CBC's Podcast Playlist!! That's right, our lil pod hit the national broadcast airwaves, baby! On this bonus ep of the pod, you'll hear Podcast Playlist host Leah-Simone Bowen highlight six of the Best Indie Podcasts - spoiler alert: we made the list!! Thank you to CBC and the Podcast Playlist team for including us <3

CBC's Podcast Playlist: Full episode (or wherever you play your podcasts!)
This Isn't Therapy: Listen to the full episode of "Mattering" featured in the episode (or wherever you play your podcasts!)

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

This Isn't Therapy:
Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Don't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Am I too emotional?

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 07 Dec 2023 00:00:00 -0800

This Isn't Therapy...it’s the long-overdue episode about emotions and emotionality. Am I overacting? Under-reacting? In this conversation, Jake and Simon chat about the normal, human, everyday emotions that show up in our lives. How do we know if our reactions are within a healthy range? They use the Window of Tolerance model to discuss big and small emotions, how to widen our windows, and what to do when emotions don’t seem to match the situation in front of us.

Don't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Lying to your therapist

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 30 Nov 2023 00:00:00 -0800

P.S. The notes we were singing are Bb and A! ;)

Don't forget, Mary: Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Can therapy fix everything?

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 23 Nov 2023 00:00:00 -0800

This Isn't Therapy... it's a meta convo about these very important questions: Can therapy fix everything? Why has therapy become the solution for everything? What types of problems can therapy realistically solve? In addition, Jake and Simon talk about why our mental health is getting worse if more and more people are going to therapy. They also talk about the purposes and promises of therapy through a model for assessing what is in our control and not in our control. Lots to discuss!

Article: America Has Reached Peak Therapy. Why Is Our Mental Health Getting Worse? by Jamie Ducharme.

NEW* Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Surprise Solo Sesh with Simon 🥵

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 16 Nov 2023 00:00:00 -0800

This Isn't Therapy...this is Simon's first surprise solo session (HOT🥵!!) Our dear gal pal Jake has fallen ill (sad 😢 )so on this week's episode, Simon takes the reigns and guides the #lovelylisteners through a fun, flirty, fab review of some of his fav TIT moments. Where did Brandon the Therapy Frog come from? Who is Tina the Troll? Does he have a favourite episode?! All that in more! Plus, Simon hints at some new exciting things to come in the This Isn't Therapy universe. Next week the girlies will be reunited...and we'll be BACK to our regular hot steamy scheduled program. In the meantime, anyone know how we can get Brené Brown to notice us?!

NEW* Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Wanna listen to the full episodes referenced in today's chat? You can!
- Ep 11: Overthinking
- Ep 12: Imposter Syndrome
- Ep 81: How To Be Yourself
- Ep 27: Four Warning Signs in a Relationship
- Ep 33: Intergenerational Trauma (ft. Encanto)
- 'Twas the Night Before Therapy

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Debunking the BFF Myth

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 09 Nov 2023 00:00:00 -0800

Article: Best Friends Forever? It's a Myth by Claire Cohen.

NEW* Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Mattering

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 02 Nov 2023 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it’s a discussion about the importance of mattering. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about mattering, a feeling of meaningful significance to others, and what that looks like, sounds like, and feels like in relationships. Jake walks us through the questions he asks his clients when they report that, or he gets the sense that, they feel like they don't matter to those who matter to them. Yeehaw! Mattering matters!

*NEW* Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Making new friends

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 26 Oct 2023 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it's a convo about makin' new friends, Mary! In this week's episode, Jake and Simon talk about our social health and what's getting in the way of making new friends and forging new social connections. They also discuss if it's good or bad to connect with people really fast and tackle a listener question about building a new circle of friends.

*NEW* Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

EPISODE 100 🌟😭

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 19 Oct 2023 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy...this is EPISODE ONE FOOOKEN HUNDRED, BABY!!! ✨ On this centennial episode of the pod, Jake and Simon take a look back at the very first episode of the pod and work through allllllll the cringe. What follows is a fun, flirty, fab chat about vulnerability, growth, and new eras (sry swifties!! These two girlies are ready to take over the world!!) Special thanks to our #lovelylisteners for supporting laughing, listening, and joining us each week. You truly are the best <3

*NEW* Submit a quandary, query, or question with our newest segment Asking For A Friend...

Contact: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Toxic achievement culture

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 12 Oct 2023 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it's an epi about toxic achievement culture (what!!?!?!)... In this episode, Jake and Simon discuss an emerging therapy therapy theme about the ways that achievement can be toxic, unhealthy, and unproductive. They dive deep into an article about achievement, feeling enough, and "mattering." They talk about the importance of having social proof in order to feel like we matter and what we can do to reclaim a sense of true community and interdependence. Also, make sure to listen all the way through -- Jake and Simon get vulnerable.

Article: Grim expectations: An expert explains how toxic achievement took over American childhood by Mary Elizabeth Williams
Book referenced: Never Enough by Jennifer Breheny Wallace

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Is it my personality or is it mental health?

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 05 Oct 2023 00:00:00 -0700

Book discussed: "Quiet" by Susan Cain

P.S - Got an idea for an episode? A story to submit? Reach out: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Leaving your comfort zone

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 28 Sep 2023 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy...this is a fun, flirty, fab convo about how being comfortable will not make you happy 🤯. In this episode, Jake and Simon chat through two #lovelylistener story submissions - one features a tale about moving on from a beloved job and the other explores the fear of leaving the comfort zone. They discuss how the (necessary) feelings of discomfort lead to personal growth and introduce (please welcome to the stage) the growing edge - no, Wendy, that's not in reference to you growing a fierce bang.

P.S - Got an idea for an episode? A story to submit? Reach out: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Taking social risks

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 21 Sep 2023 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it’s the episode about taking social risks! This week, Jake and Simon talk about how to put yourself out there and embrace the improv side of life. Jumping off from last week’s conversation about play, they discuss another #LovelyListener submission about trusting people’s true intentions and dissect a quote about improvised gatherings. Bring your umbrellas! Because this week, we’re improv-ing up a storm!

Article: What Adults Forget About Friendship by Rhaina Cohen

P.S. Send us your episode idea: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you :)

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Have we lost our sense of play?

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 14 Sep 2023 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... but we are tackling life's important questions: have we lost our sense of play? In this episode, Jake and Simon dig deep into a #LovelyListener submission and article (Remix!! Twist!!) about adult play, which suggests that playing and wasting time together like kids do are how we can become happier and healthier adults. Also - shout out to Disney World (sponsor us!)

Article: What Adults Forget About Friendship by Rhaina Cohen

P.S. Send us your episode idea: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com. We'd love to hear from you :)

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Bullying with boundaries

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 31 Aug 2023 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... this is the long-awaited follow-up to our episodes about boundaries. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about being a boundary bully and using “boundaries” to control other people. They talk about an advice column question submitted to The Atlantic about family boundaries and and discuss relationship boundaries via ~the Jonah Hill situation~!

Article: Dear Therapist: My Daughter’s Boundaries Are Preventing Us From Having a Relationship by Lori Gottlieb

P.S. Send us your episode idea: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Parenting your partner

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 24 Aug 2023 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... this is a conversation about becoming the stand-in parent for the people around you. Are you the one always making the plans? Do find yourself saying "don't forget to..." a lot? When did you sign up to coach the people around you into "becoming the better version of themselves"? Oh, mama. Let's talk. Take out your finest quill and parchment because we're chatting through mother hen syndrome and how being the thinking brain/emotional caretaker for others leads to relationship burnout. We'll also talk about the origins of these caring behaviours and discuss the difference between genuine caring and chronic caretaking. Also, we meet Gary and Bella -- did Gary ever find his sunnies?

Article: Why 'Raising' Your Partner Leads to Relationship Burnout. by Yvonne Castañeda

P.S. Send us your episode idea: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Phubbing 🤳🏼

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 17 Aug 2023 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn’t Therapy… it’s a discussion about “phubbing”— the act of snubbing someone with your phone. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about phone use and how it impacts our relationships with friends, family members, and partners. They also talk about a recent study, which found that higher phone use was associated with more relationship problems, and an article by a therapist, called “As A Therapist, I Know What’s Breaking Couples Up.” Hint hint, it’s allegedly the smartphone. 📲🤳🏼👀

Article discussed: As A Therapist, I Know What’s Breaking Couples Up by Andrew Sofin

Link to the study: More Scrolling, More Marital Problems conducted by Wendy Wang and Michael Toscano of the Institute for Family Studies (IFS)

P.S. Send us your episode idea: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

FOMO

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 10 Aug 2023 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it’s the episode about the common fear of missing out, otherwise known as FOMO. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about FOMO through the lens of the group chat: Getting kicked out of them, being left out of the formation of a new one, or not being invited into them at all. They talk about how a certain app popular with teens is making this issue even more complicated and discuss the dangers of needing to be constantly online, tapped in, and worried about missing something. Plus, stay tuned to the end of the episode to find out who spills the coffee all over the couch. 🥴

Article discussed: Navigating childhood friendship in a digital world by Cheryl Murfin

Further reading: Why Teens Say Location Sharing is the Greatest And The Worst by Julie Jargon

P.S. Send us your episode idea: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Help! My therapist broke up with me...

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 03 Aug 2023 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it’s the episode about being broken up with by a therapist. In this episode, Jake and Simon read two stories, one submitted to the Reddit r/AskATherapist community and one submitted by a Lovely Listener! Jake and Simon break down some of the reasons why therapists may also break up with a client. It's a juicy one!

P.S. The debate about hand washing has been settled! Go check out our Instagram for the results.

P.S.S. Send us your episode idea: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

A couple living in denial

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 27 Jul 2023 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it’s the episode about being in denial. I’m not in denial, you are! In this episode, Jake and Simon unpack this common psychological defence mechanism - why someone might be in denial, where it might stem from, and how this shows up in couples. They also dip their toe in the waters of couple therapy and provide some insight into how couples therapy works by following up with Casey and Sarah (our resident case study couple!), who are going through a rough patch in their relationship.

P.S. Jake and Simon start a delicious debate about hand washing. Get in touch via socials and let us know whose side you’re on! (Simon is in maje denial on this one!…)

P.S.S. Send us your episode idea: thisisnttherapypodcast@gmail.com

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Hot takes, problem spotting, and faking expertise

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 20 Jul 2023 00:00:00 -0700

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

People Pleasing

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 13 Jul 2023 03:08:09 -0700

This Isn't Therapy...this is a conversation about people pleasing. Through two #lovelylistener stories, Jake and Simon explore the root of people pleasing - where the behaviour stems from and how it comes to be. How do I stop people pleasing??? Get ready to laugh/cry/uncover the phenomenon known as the chameleon child. "Trying to make life fair for people around you doesn’t make up for the unfairness of your childhood." Woof.

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon
Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Worrying about the future

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 06 Jul 2023 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy...this is a casual Kelly conversation about the future and ALL our collective worries. Climate change? Finances? Relationships? Oh boy. So much to hold! So much to worry about! In this episode of the pod, Jake and Simon explore the role "worrying" has in our lives through two fantastical case studies (featuring TIT celebs Tina the Troll and Grant the Gnome).

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Finding hope in hopeless times

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 29 Jun 2023 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it's the episode about finding hope in hopeless times. Forest fires, anti-LGBTQ bills, collective pain, and existential dread. In this episode, Jake dives deep into the purpose of therapists in hopeless times -- as the "bringers of hope". Jake and Simon talk through some stories submitted by the Lovely Listeners about how they keep hope alive and find the inner strength to keep going when things feel hopeless, meaningless, and purposeless. Whew... this one's a tear jerker!

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Building community

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 22 Jun 2023 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it's the episode about finding your people, finding your place, and building community. In this episode, Jake and Simon read two submissions by the Lovely Listeners about the features of their ideal community. What follows is a discussion about building community, figuring out who should be there, and what features matter most. Let's get ta buildin'!

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

🎶 I’m coming out! 🎶

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 15 Jun 2023 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it’s the episode about coming out! In this episode, Jake and Simon come clean about coming out as they chat about some scenes and quotations from an article about the coming out experience. We are pulling back the colourful rainbow pride curtain for an essential discussion about coming out— what it’s like, why we may or may not do it, and how you can support someone who has done or is doing it! 🏳️‍🌈

Article: Mixed Feelings: I Recently Came Out, But I Still Feel Like I’m Hiding by Elly Belle.

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Adapting to difference

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 08 Jun 2023 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy...this is a fun, flirty convo about adapting to scenarios while keeping your values in check (*DING*). On this episode of the pod, Jake and Simon discuss two lovely listener stories, safe spaces, the embarrassing Ontario Catholic school board's decision to ~not~ fly a pride flag, and our new queer icon, Tina the Troll. Also, stay tuned to the end of the ep because we may or may not have a favour to ask! HAPPY PRIDE!!! <3333

Creators & Guests

Simon Paluck - Host
Jake Ernst - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

How to be yourself

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 01 Jun 2023 00:00:00 -0700

This isn't therapy... it's an episode about authenticity, being yourself, and knowing who you are. In this episode, Jake guides Simon through an ~authenticity exercise~! OoOoooO! They discuss whether or not authenticity should be everyone's goal and how the path to becoming yourself looks different for everyone (and how to find your own way!)... CAUTION: THIS EPISODE IS EXTREMELY FUNNY AND AUTHENTIC.

Creators & Guests

Jake Ernst - Host
Simon Paluck - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Is the fly-on-the-wall therapy genre unhealthy voyeurism?

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 25 May 2023 00:00:00 -0700

This isn't therapy... it's some straight up real talk about depictions of therapy in popular media. Simon, a filmmaker, and Jake, a therapist, talk about the emerging media genre of fly-on-the-wall therapy. From explosive couples’ dramas on TV to podcasts with recorded therapy sessions, fly-on-the-wall therapy is pulling in huge audiences. But is it ethical? Is it exploitation? Is it just unhealthy voyeurism?

Article: ‘It was actually beautiful’: the wild rise in people turning their therapy sessions into devastating TV by Eleanor Morgan

Creators & Guests

Jake Ernst - Host
Simon Paluck - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

The Matrix of Grief

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 18 May 2023 00:00:00 -0700

This isn't therapy... it's an episode about complex experience of grief and loss. Jake and Simon read two stories from the Lovely Listener. They add some nuance to the stages of grief model (DABDA!) and chat through different metaphors for grief - boulders, balls, and jars, oh my! Also, grab your spelunking gear because we're going down that rabbit hole: what evolutionary function does grief serve? Get ready for one silly and serious episode.

Creators & Guests

Jake Ernst - Host
Simon Paluck - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Coping with humor 🤡

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 11 May 2023 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it's the grand opening of the Ha-Ha Chuckle Hut! Just kidding. It's the conversation about deflecting and coping with humor. In this week's episode, Jake and Simon talk about the ups and downs of using humor to cope with the things we don't want to feel.

Creators & Guests

Jake Ernst - Host
Simon Paluck - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon

Feeling content with life

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 04 May 2023 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy...this is a conversation about slowing down, baby. How do you know when things are good? How do you embrace feeling content with where you're at? Remember hobbies? What are those!?! TELL US!! In this episode of the pod, Jake and Simon chit chat through two lovely listener stories about finding stillness. What happens when things are...fine and there's no fixing, meddling, or deeper work to do?

PS- send us fan art okay thank u 😘

Creators & Guests

Jake Ernst - Host
Simon Paluck - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣

"Doing isn't being."

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 27 Apr 2023 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it's the follow-up to last week's convo about thinking vs. doing. This week, we're talking about doing vs. being-- another paradox we are made to sit with as humans who feel things. In this episode, Jake and SImon unpack submissions from the lovely listeners about how to know when things are good and content. They share three stories from y'all about how to embrace feeling content with where we're at and how to tell when there's no fixing, meddling, or deeper work to do.

Creators & Guests

Jake Ernst - Host
Simon Paluck - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣

“Thinking isn’t doing.”

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 20 Apr 2023 03:45:27 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it’s an episode about thinking, over-thinking, and sorting through seas of misinformation online. In segment one, Jake and Simon discuss findings from a small study by PlushCare which looked at videos on TikTok and misleading mental health information. In segment two, they discuss how collecting and consuming mental health information online isn’t the same as applying it. Jake also shares an actionable script to help the Lovely Listeners find action when stuck in cycles of overthinking. CHUNK IT AND DO IT!!!

Creators & Guests

Jake Ernst - Host
Simon Paluck - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

Taking The Mental Health of Boys Seriously

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 13 Apr 2023 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy...this is a conversation about the mental health of boys. Declining graduation rates, decreasing sperm counts and testosterone levels, and fewer close friendships. Yikes! In this episode of the pod, we're chatting through the irrefutable evidence that men and boys are struggling in unprecedented ways.

Sources:
"Taking the mental health of boys seriously" by Jake Ernst (...I don't know her...?)

Creators & Guests

Jake Ernst - Host
Simon Paluck - Host

Bonjourrrr, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

Therapy taught me...

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 06 Apr 2023 00:00:00 -0700

This isn't therapy... it's the episode about therapy breakthroughs. The therapeutic "aha!" is known to many as the nugget of therapy gold that taught us something new, changed our perspective on something, or unlocked a new layer of growth. In this episode, Jake and Simon share therapy breakthroughs from the Lovely Listeners. Tune in for a discussion about the things therapy taught us (or technically-- you)!

Creators & Guests

Jake Ernst - Host
Simon Paluck - Host

Bonjourrrr, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

The rise in therapy language

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 30 Mar 2023 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy...but this is an episode about the overuse of therapy language and the impact its having on our relationships. Gaslighting? Triggered? Trauma-bonding? What do these words actually mean!? And are we using them correctly? Listen to find out. Also, Jake and Simon welcome special guests: Dr. Miriam-Webster, Tammy Toxic, and Gary Gaslight. This is an episode you absolutely don't want to miss, mmmmmkay?

Articles:

TIME: Gaslighting, Narcissist, and More Psychology Terms You're Misusing by Angela Haupt
The New York Times: How the Language of Therapy Took Over Dating by Dani Blum

Creators & Guests

Jake Ernst - Host
Simon Paluck - Host

Bonjourrrr, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

Self-Diagnosis: Is it valid?

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 23 Mar 2023 00:00:00 -0700

This isn't therapy... it's the episode about self-diagnosis. In this episode, Jake and Simon pull back the curtain on diagnosis and ask if we can truly give ourselves a mental health diagnosis. Jake and Simon read two very different perspectives, submitted by two licensed therapists, and discuss the pros and cons of self-diagnosis. In the final segment, Jake shares how he approaches self-diagnosis in his work as a therapist.

Creators & Guests

Jake Ernst - Host
Simon Paluck - Host

Bonjourrrr, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

How loneliness reshapes the brain

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 16 Mar 2023 00:00:00 -0700

This Isn't Therapy... it's the long-overdue conversation about the crisis of connection and loneliness. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about a recent study which captured the changes in the brain due to isolation and loneliness. They also discuss the finding that exposure to social experiences alone do not resolve the crisis of connection -- that is, exposing lonely individuals to more social relationships is not the way forward. They also talk about another funny finding about flamingos and how they choose their friendships and partners.

Article referenced:
1. How Loneliness Reshapes The Brain
2. Flamingos form friendship based on their personality

Creators & Guests

Jake Ernst - Host
Simon Paluck - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

The Future of Therapy (AI, VR, & Web 3.0)

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 09 Mar 2023 00:00:00 -0800

This Isn't Therapy...this is a prediction episode about the future of therapy. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about how Artificial Intelligence (AI), Virtual Reality (VR), and Web 3.0 (what!?!) and how they may (or may already be!) impacting therapy for therapists and clients alike. Jake and Simon also discuss what Americans are saying about the use of AI chatbots in therapy and react to a recent comment from the Talkspace CEO that AI can improve therapist performance and boost quality of care.

Articles referenced:
1. 60% of Americans Would Be Uncomfortable With Provider Relying on AI in Their Own Health Care
2. Talkspace CEO: AI Can Improve Therapist Performance, Boost Quality

Creators & Guests

Jake Ernst - Host
Simon Paluck - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

What are my needs? (Part 2)

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 02 Mar 2023 00:00:00 -0800

Creators & Guests

Jake Ernst - Host
Simon Paluck - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

What are my needs? (Part 1)

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 23 Feb 2023 00:00:00 -0800

Creators & Guests

Jake Ernst - Host
Simon Paluck - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

Dating apps, hook up culture and situationships

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 16 Feb 2023 00:00:00 -0800

Article referenced: What is a situationship? By Sanjana Gupta

Creators & Guests

Jake Ernst - Host
Simon Paluck - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

Am I falling behind?

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 09 Feb 2023 00:00:00 -0800

This Isn't Therapy... it’s a delicious conversation about healthy ways of measuring progress in life. Jake and Simon chat about the common fear of falling behind in life and hear from two lovely listeners about their experiences with comparing, despairing, awfulizing, and catastrophizing. They also talk about how it relates to hustle culture and sets the conditions for self-diagnosis. There is lots to discuss with this ✨therapy theme✨!

Creators & Guests

Jake Ernst - Host
Simon Paluck - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

Rugged Individualism (via Shrek)

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 02 Feb 2023 00:00:00 -0800

This Isn't Therapy... it’s the long-awaited episode about r̶u̶g̶g̶e̶d̶-i̶n̶d̶i̶v̶i̶d̶u̶a̶l̶i̶s̶m̶ SHREK. Okay, okay, okay, we admit, this is just an excuse to talk about the seminal film, and character of the same name, SHREK. Yes, Shrek. The rugged individualist of our time. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about the concept of rugged individualism, the myth and unhelpful belief that we should be able to do it all on our own. We’re digging deep and peeling back the many layers of this onion! Join us. :-)

Creators & Guests

Jake Ernst - Host
Simon Paluck - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

Pity, pity, pity

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 26 Jan 2023 00:30:00 -0800

This Isn't Therapy...but this is a fun, flirty, and fab conversation about pity (and her twin sister grandiosity).Through two lovely listener stories, Jake and Simon explore the very human behaviour of downward comparison ("I feel sorry for you" vs. "I'm sooOOoo glad I'm not you"). Ever compare yourself to someone's vacation pics and think "I would NEVER do that" ? Or run into an old friend you lost touch with and leave that interaction glad that "you didn't turn out like them?" It's okay! We won't judge! We all do it! Let's talk about it :)

Creators & Guests

Jake Ernst - Host
Simon Paluck - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

Perfectionism vs. Healthy Striving

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 19 Jan 2023 00:00:00 -0800

This isn't therapy... it's a fun, flirty, fab conversation about our friend perfectionism. In this episode, Jake and Simon read two submissions from the lovely listeners about comparison and needing things to be perfect. Jake shares three essential ingredients for healthy striving, the ultimate antidote to comparing from a place of perfectionism. Let's dive in. :-)

Creators & Guests

Jake Ernst - Host
Simon Paluck - Host

Hello, hi! Follow us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

Picking Your “Word of the Year”

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Wed, 11 Jan 2023 23:59:00 -0800

Happy New Year, lovelies! This isn’t therapy… it’s the first episode of 2023! Grab your pens and pencils because in this episode, Jake and Simon are helping you put in the work. Through an important conversation about values, Jake and Simon talk about how to take effective action in your life by picking a Word of the Year.

James Clear’s “Core Values List”
Brene Brown’s “List of Values”

Hello, hi! Join us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

The 2022 Roundup (Part 2)

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Wed, 28 Dec 2022 21:24:36 -0800

This isn’t therapy… it’s our last episode of 2022— about 2022! Jake and Simon round off the year with a fun and flirty Q&A using The Book of Questions by Gregory Stock. Join us for our last laughs and giggles of the year. Be sure to go back and listen to Part 1 if you haven’t yet! 🥂

P.S. Thanks for being here this year. We appreciate you SO MUCH!

Join us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

✨'Twas the Night Before Therapy ✨

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Fri, 23 Dec 2022 06:02:43 -0800

This Isn't Therapy...but this is an original spin on the famed holiday classic!! This Isn't Therapy presents: 'Twas the Night Before Therapy. On the eve of her first therapy session, Molly is grappling with all her worries and woes when suddenly she's visited by two magical guests from her ~favourite~ podcast. Enjoy this fun, flirty, fabulous BONUS episode narrated (& performed) by Jake and Simon. To all our lovely listeners, thank you for being here, we wish you a restful holidays, and cheers to all the adventures to come in 2023!! xox

Join us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

The 2022 Roundup (Part 1)

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 22 Dec 2022 00:00:00 -0800

This isn’t therapy… it’s a conversation about 2022! In this episode, Jake and Simon bounce The Book of Questions by Gregory Stock back and forth. We are rounding up and rounding out the year with a casual and fun two-part Q&A. Get ready to giggle.

Join us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

Transference vs. Countertransference

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 15 Dec 2022 03:46:47 -0800

This isn’t therapy… it’s a conversation about when the past is present in the therapy room. In this episode, Jake and Simon explore two therapy terms, transference and countertransference, to open up a conversation about what happens when clients own history is transferred onto a therapist and what happens when a therapist’s own history is transferred onto a client. It’s a conversation you don’t want to miss!

Join us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣

Thanks for the gift, Rebecca!
Follow Rebecca @arcs.solutions
Check out her shop here!

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

Meeting the Moment

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 08 Dec 2022 03:48:23 -0800

This Isn't Therapy...but this is a throwback to a past episode about mindfulness - or what Jake calls "meeting the moment." Through the stories of two lovely listeners, Jake and Simon talk about how to make the most of every moment AND pitch a new chocolatey venture to therapy icon Brené Brown (notice us!!!)

Bonjour, Hi! Join us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

Popularity (via Mean Girls) 💋

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 01 Dec 2022 03:00:00 -0800

This Isn't Therapy...it's a conversation about WHY YOU'RE SO OBSESSED WITH ME. In episode 57 of the pod, Jake and Simon discuss popularity via the seminal film and cinematic masterpiece Mean Girls. What follows is a fetch conversation about status popularity vs. likability and the impact of horizontal/vertical relationships. How much do you love it? The limit does not exist!

Bonjour, Hi! Join us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

Am I addicted to social media?

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 24 Nov 2022 03:11:17 -0800

This isn't therapy... it’s the episode about social media, dopamine, and the pleasure/pain balance. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about the principles of social media addiction and how the devices and apps we love keep us trapped in cycles of overuse. They also discuss the power of dopamine and why you need to know about this important neurotransmitter! Dopamine detox, anyone?

Book referenced: “Dopamine Nation” by Dr. Anna Lembke.

Hello, hi! Join us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

Therapy 🚩 Red Flags 🚩

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 17 Nov 2022 00:00:00 -0800

This isn't therapy...it’s a conversation about spotting red flags in therapy. In today's world, there has been increased attention put on the potential warning signs, or red flags, in our lives and relationships. Since the therapy room often reflects the norms of a culture, it is no surprise that therapy and therapists are also getting the red flag treatment. On one hand, this can be empowering for clients to own their experience and recognize how red flags show up in the therapeutic space. On the other hand, it can also result in miscommunication of a therapist's intentions or a misidentification of a client's needs. Through the first hand accounts of two lovely listeners, Jake and Simon unpack the nuance of using the red flag system!

Hello, hi! Join us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

Anger

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 10 Nov 2022 00:00:00 -0800

This isn't therapy... it’s the long-overdue episode about anger. Jake and Simon talk about the one quality of anger that makes it so strongly felt and unpack four major types of anger— long anger, short anger, hot anger, and cold anger!

Hello, hi! Join us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

Does going to therapy make you a good person?

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 03 Nov 2022 03:00:00 -0700

This isn't therapy...it’s the episode about the morality of therapy-seeking. Recently some therapists have noticed that clients are showing up to therapy without a problem to solve or a goal to work on. They are showing up because “that’s what good people do.” Does going to therapy make you a “good” person? Let’s get into it.

Hello, hi! Join us on Instagram: @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

Article discussed: “Why do people think going to therapy makes you a good person?“ by Mychal Denzel Smith.

Deflecting with humor 😜

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 27 Oct 2022 04:25:33 -0700

This isn't therapy... it's the grand opening of the Ha-Ha Chuckle Hut! Just kidding. It's the conversation about deflecting with humor. In this week's episode, Jake and Simon talk about the ups and downs of using humor to deflect from the things we don't want to feel.

Hi friend! Join us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

Getting to know our "parts"

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 20 Oct 2022 05:12:59 -0700

This isn't therapy... it's the episode about Internal Family Systems Therapy! Dr. Richard Schwartz developed IFS in response to clients' descriptions of various parts within themselves. In this episode, Jake and Simon unpack the parts that make up our internal family and give you a taster for what IFS therapy is all about. Grab a notebook and a pen to unlock your best Self!

Check us out on Instagram @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

How to build better boundaries

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Wed, 12 Oct 2022 22:40:49 -0700

This isn't therapy-- it's your how-to guide to building better boundaries. In this episode, Jake and Simon dissect the art of boundary building. Using a fictional client named Kevin, they dive deep into what keeps us stuck in patterns of boundary-less behaviour. This episode is for you if you know what you need to say but you're just having trouble saying it.

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

Masculinity via the movie Bros

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 06 Oct 2022 00:00:00 -0700

This isn't therapy, bro! It's an episode about the gnarly new film "Bros". In this episode, two bros Jake and Simon bro out to a discussion about the role of (hyper)masculinity in queer culture. For those who are unfamiliar, Bros is the first gay rom-com from a major film studio. The movie takes everything you love about Bridesmaids and Mean Girls and, with whip-smart comedy, shows us the power of queer representation on and off screen. The movie features the first all-LGBTQ+ cast and tackles some very important ~therapy themes~!

Want to see for yourself? Click here to watch the trailer for Bros.

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

Being sexy online

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 29 Sep 2022 00:00:00 -0700

This isn't therapy... it's an episode about being sexy online. In this day and age, some people are leading hypersexual double lives on the internet which is causing an array of mental health symptoms to crop up. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about social media pressure, hyperreality and hypersexuality, the pressures one might feel to engage in these behaviours, and why this might be occurring. Sex sells-- even on the internet-- and we're here to unpack it!

Article: Why Some Queer Men Lead Hypersexual Double Lives Online

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

Learning from mistakes

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 22 Sep 2022 03:30:00 -0700

This isn't therapy...but this is an episode about learning from our mistakes. Jake and Simon reach into two #lovelylistener stories with their grubby little paws to discuss what it means to regret our mistakes vs. to not have any regrets at all (YOLO). What's the greatest mistake you ever made and why does it linger over us like a lil gassy cloud? Also, this episode may or may not feature a special guest from down under.

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

Regrets

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 15 Sep 2022 09:49:11 -0700

This Isn't Therapy but this is an episode about processing regrets and meeting our shadow parts! Ooooo, spooky! What are the feelings behind regrets? Why do they feel so bad? What are shadow parts?! What follows is a casual kelly convo between Jake and Simon as they dive into two #lovelylistener stories - one about cheating and one about not spending enough time with a loved one before they passed away.

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

Quiet quitting

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Wed, 07 Sep 2022 21:03:41 -0700

This isn't Therapy-- it's an episode about the not/new trend of "Quiet Quitting." In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about the pros and cons of quitting quietly. They also talk about "quiet firing", Gen-Z and the effect of social media on work culture, and the passive aggressive nature of non-communication. Tune in to find out if quiet quitting is for you!

Article: Quiet quitting, firing, even dumping: Americans are falling in love with passive-aggression, and it’s hurting our careers, relationships, and mental health.

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

SQUAWK & TALK: 2nd anni episode + an announcement!

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 01 Sep 2022 04:54:44 -0700

This isn't therapy, baby, it's the two year celebration episode. In this episode, Jake and Simon answer listener questions and ask questions of each other. They talk about family grief, use of social media, what they hate about queer culture, and a very exciting announcement!

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

Working through grief

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Fri, 19 Aug 2022 05:20:13 -0700

This isn't Therapy but this is a conversation about working through grief and loss. Jake and Simon read two stories from our #lovelylisteners. The first, explores letting go of a partner and the other, about the recent loss of a loved one. What follows is a convo about the stages of grief (DABDA!) and so many metaphors - boulders, balls, and jars, oh my! Also, grab your spelunking gear because we're going down that rabbit hole: what function does loss and grief serve?! Okay, Wendy?!

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

How to navigate change

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Fri, 05 Aug 2022 05:08:27 -0700

Hello, hi! This isn't therapy, it's a chitchat about how to navigate periods of change and growth. You know what they say: Change is inevitable and the only constant in life is change. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about how to stay the course when change is too destabilizing. They also talk about the four most effective ways of working through the big feelings that accompany change.

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

Busting even more therapy myths

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 21 Jul 2022 00:00:00 -0700

Thissssss isn't therapy, y'all, it's the sequel to the episode about therapy myths. In this episode, Jake and Simon discuss more of the myths about therapy by answering the questions submitted by the lovely listeners. They tackle questions such as: What happens if you run into a client in public? Are you intentional about what you wear and how you design the therapy room? How do you keep stories straight? And do you ever not know what to say as a therapist?

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

"Forced Fun"

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 07 Jul 2022 00:00:00 -0700

This isn't therapy... it's an episode about the end of "Forced Fun" in the workplace. Jake and Simon discuss a BBC article that discusses how "the pandemic put an end to required birthday cupcakes, team happy hours, and 'forced fun’ activities." Jake and Simon chat about whether forcing fun is good or bad for our cultures at work and what we can do to solve the problem of forced fun.

Article: The death of 'mandatory fun' in the office by Kate Morgan

Episode Mixed by Jordan Paluck

Difference of opinions

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 23 Jun 2022 00:00:00 -0700

This isn't therapy... it's a conversation about navigating a difference of opinions. In this episode, Jake and Simon ask the lovely listeners to submit a story about a time they had a difference of opinion with someone and it didn't ruin the relationship. They discuss how they approach having disagreements without throwing others in the garbage for thinking or feeling differently.

Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣
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Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Friendship breakups

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 09 Jun 2022 05:06:26 -0700

This isn't therapy... it's a conversation about breaking up with a friend. In this episode, Jake and Simon share two stories from the lovely listeners about how they know it's time to say goodbye to a friend and how they know when a friendship has run its course.

Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣
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Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Feeling good isn't permanent

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Wed, 25 May 2022 23:00:00 -0700

This isn't therapy... it's part two of our conversation about Foreboding Joy. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about how the act of foreboding joy protects us from shame and judgment and serves as a reminder that feeling good isn't permanent.

Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣
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Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Foreboding Joy

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 12 May 2022 00:01:00 -0700

This isn't therapy -- it's a discussion about foreboding joy. Coined by Dr. Brene Brown, foreboding joy is described as that moment when joy is interrupted by thoughts of “but what if something bad happens.” In this two-part episode, Jake and Simon discuss the ways we avoid feeling extremely happy to avoid feeling extremely disappointed.

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Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣
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Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Big Box Therapy™

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 28 Apr 2022 09:00:00 -0700

This isn't therapy, but it's a long-awaited conversation about Big Box Therapy™ companies. Jake and Simon dive deep into the world of digitizing mental healthcare - they talk data privacy, accessibility, and the blurred lines that exist as both a tech company and a healthcare provider. Be sure to read the article linked below for background info about this important discussion.

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Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣
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Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

"Why therapists are sounding the alarm on big box therapy companies" by Jacalyn Wetzel.

Busting therapy myths

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Fri, 15 Apr 2022 09:00:00 -0700

This isn't therapy, but it *is* a conversation about common myths about therapy. Jake and Simon asked their lovely listeners to submit their need-to-know questions about therapy without holding back. Jake and Simon answer questions such as: Do therapists have favourite clients? Do therapists have therapists? What happens if a therapist is sexually attracted to a client? You didn't hold back, so neither did they!

Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣
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Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Intergenerational Trauma ft. Encanto

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 31 Mar 2022 09:00:00 -0700

This isn't therapy... and we don't talk about Bruno (no, no, no, no). In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about intergenerational trauma through the lens of the hit Disney movie Encanto. They talk about how trauma patterns are passed down through families from generation to generation and dissect the themes that show up in the movie and in real life.

Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣
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Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Loneliness

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 10 Mar 2022 09:00:00 -0800

This isn't therapy, but this is an episode about loneliness. Jake and Simon chat about the ways that loneliness shows up in our lives and talk about the crisis of connection we all seem to be experiencing to some degree. They unpack what makes us feel lonely and how to increase meaningful connections in our lives. ⁣

Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣
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Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

The five types of boundaries

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Fri, 25 Feb 2022 02:00:00 -0800

This isn't therapy, but this is an episode about boundaries. The pandemic has caused a noticeable shift in the way we interact and spend time with others. Jake and Simon talk about what boundaries are and how to know if you need them or not. They go through the five different types of boundaries and walk us through how to set better boundaries in order to get what you need in life.

Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣
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Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Building better habits

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 03 Feb 2022 09:00:00 -0800

Forming new habits that last is hard to do. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about why that is and how to build habits that stick. They talk about the science of forming a new habit and discuss how habits, both good and bad, affect our mental health.

Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣
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Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Do resolutions work?

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 20 Jan 2022 09:00:00 -0800

Cue the "New Year, New Me" resolution machine. This isn't therapy but in this episode, we check in on how your resolutions are going. Do New Year's resolutions actually work? What percentage of resolutions are successful? Jake and Simon unpack the barriers that get in our way of following through on our goals and resolutions.

Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣
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Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Hearing hard feedback

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Wed, 29 Dec 2021 06:56:34 -0800

This isn't therapy but it is an episode about receiving feedback that might be hard to hear. Jake and Simon read submissions from the lovely listeners and share their own stories about how they receive tough feedback. Let's get into it!

Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣
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Episode mixed by #1 bossbabe Jordan Paluck

The four warning signs in a relationship

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 18 Nov 2021 12:04:32 -0800

This isn't therapy but it is an episode about relationships and the four signs that might signal the end of one. In this episode, Jake and Simon discuss Dr. John & Julie Gottman's concept of The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. These relationship researchers have identified the four traits and their associated behaviours that could lead to relational collapse. Check out the article below for more information!

Article: The Four Horsemen and Their Meanings

Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣
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Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

An urgent pandemic check-in

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 04 Nov 2021 12:15:48 -0700

Hello, season two! This isn't therapy but it *is* our grand re-entrance into our regularly scheduled programming. In this episode, Jake and Simon have a check-in chat about where we're at and how we're feeling in this stage of the pandemic. They also imagine what our post-pandemic future will look like and what we can do right now to manage fear and uncertainty.

Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣
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Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Breaking up with your therapist

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Fri, 10 Sep 2021 10:11:23 -0700

This isn't therapy but this is a conversation about breaking up with your therapist. Join Simon and Jake as they talk about how to know it's time to find a better fit.

Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣
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Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Routes of Safety

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 12 Aug 2021 09:00:00 -0700

This isn't therapy but this is a conversation about psychological and emotional safety (what!?!) and the pathways we travel to feel safe again. This week, we discuss the Routes of Safety model - a therapeutic tool that helps us achieve a felt sense of safety. ⁣Let's dive in.

Content note: Discussion of self-harm (27:48-31:44)
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Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣
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Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Nature vs. Nurture via Disney's Cruella

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 22 Jul 2021 09:00:00 -0700

This isn't therapy but this is a conversation about Nature vs. Nurture and the role each of them plays in shaping who we are. This week, we discuss themes from the hit Disney+ movie Cruella to guide our discussion about trauma, relationships, childhood experiences, epigenetics, and more. We also talk about Internal Family Systems, a therapy modality developed by Dr. Richard Schwartz, to discuss the role our 'parts' play in making us who we are.

Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣
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Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

"If it's not perfect, I'm not starting."

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Fri, 09 Jul 2021 09:00:00 -0700

This isn't therapy but this is part two of our conversation about perfectionism. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about the type of perfectionism that keeps us from getting started. Have you ever put something off for fear that it won't be perfect? Have you ever felt so frozen and immobilized by the task ahead of you? Have you ever kept quiet because you won't say ~the perfect thing~? We dig into these questions and more in this week's episode.

Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣
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Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

21 Questions - Part 2

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 24 Jun 2021 09:00:00 -0700

This isn't therapy but this is Part 2 of the episode where we answer your questions! In this episode, Jake and Simon finish their game of 21 questions by asking each other deep questions about life, mental health, and relationships. Tune in to find out which one of them cries first. :')

Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣
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Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

21 Questions - Part 1

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 17 Jun 2021 13:56:36 -0700

This isn't therapy but this is the episode where we answer your questions! In this episode, Jake and Simon play 21 questions with a list of questions submitted by our lovely listeners. Tune in to hear them answer your questions about life, mental health, vulnerability in friendship, and more. Be sure to check out the next episode, Part 2, where they ask each other their own set of questions! ;-)⁣

Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣
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Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Perfectionism

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 03 Jun 2021 07:04:33 -0700

This isn't therapy but this is a conversation about perfectionism. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about how perfectionism can fuel our desire to grind, hustle, and achieve more. They also discuss how perfectionism can foster a culture of competition and how we can stop it from dominating our thoughts, feelings, and behaviour. *chefs kiss*

Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣
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Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

The "New" Normal

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 20 May 2021 09:00:00 -0700

This isn't therapy but this is the final episode in our four-part pandemic series. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about The Big Return and what life could look like beyond face masks and pandemic restrictions. They also discuss how our cultures might shift and how we can adjust to The "New" Normal. P.S. Like, comment, subscribe, give us a rate! We will love you forever for doing so.

Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣
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Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Pandemic burnout

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 13 May 2021 09:00:00 -0700

This isn't therapy but this is a *timely* episode about pandemic burnout. In part three of this pandemic series, Jake and Simon talk about how burnout keeps us locked into patterns of stress. They also discuss how burnout results in that "blah" feeling and how it impacts something known as our "surge capacity". P.S. Tune in to the end of the episode for a fun ~contest~ where you can win a ~fabulous prize~!

Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣
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Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Struggling to socialize

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 06 May 2021 09:00:00 -0700

This isn't therapy but this is an episode about the social struggles we anticipate beyond pandemic times. In part two of this pandemic series, Jake and Simon talk about how pandemic social anxiety might manifest and how we can work through it. They discuss Jake's recent appearance on the CBC podcast Sickboy and make a big mess in the final segment (sorry, Jean-Luc Picard!).

Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣
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Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Masking for a friend

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 29 Apr 2021 09:00:00 -0700

This isn't therapy but this is an episode about pandemic anxiety & masking up for the greater good. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about pandemic rules and share their thoughts & feelings about anti-vaccination and anti-mask rhetoric. In one of the stories, a listener asks what they can do when friends and family members exhibit unacceptable pandemic behaviour.

Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣
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Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Best friends forever?

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Fri, 26 Mar 2021 09:00:00 -0700

This isn't therapy but this is an episode about adult friendships. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about deep & meaningful BFF-style friendships while braiding each other’s hair. They talk about how to make friends as an adult, what makes friends want to stick around, and all the boys they wish would just notice them! You know what they say: There are big ships and tall ships but the best ships are friendships.

Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣
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Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

The one about childhood friendships

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Fri, 12 Mar 2021 09:05:43 -0800

This isn't therapy but this is an episode about our friendships in childhood. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about the stories they heard about early friendships. What makes a quality childhood friendship? What happens when we drift in and out of these friendships? What are the qualities that make a friendship long and worthwhile? All of these and more -- tonight at 6pm!

Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣
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Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Can I be friends with my therapist?

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 25 Feb 2021 09:00:00 -0800

This isn't therapy but this is an episode about the difference between social relationships and therapeutic relationships. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about an article by Megan Wildhood who suggests that "the professionalization of mental health services is ruining friendships," (2021). They talk about the history of the helping profession and interrogate the claim that therapy is ruining friendships. P.S. Jake and Simon are joined by special guest Brandon the Therapy Frog!

Article: "The professionalization of mental health services is ruining friendships," by Megan Wildhood (2021).

Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣
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Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Impostor Syndrome

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Fri, 05 Feb 2021 09:00:00 -0800

This isn't therapy but this is an episode about impostor syndrome. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about the common experience of not feeling good enough, smart enough, and not measuring up. They talk about the mechanics of impostor syndrome and how it can cause us to feel out of place and disconnected from others. We also find out the name of ~the frog~ from our last episode!

Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣
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Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Overthinking

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 21 Jan 2021 09:00:00 -0800

This isn't therapy but this is an episode about anxiety and overthinking. In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about our most highly requested topic to date - anxiety - and discuss what it might look like and feel like. They talk about the ways overthinking can keep us trapped in thought spirals and share a story about "Das Anxiety Balloon" - what!?

Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣
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Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

The 2020 Roundup

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 31 Dec 2020 06:00:00 -0800

This isn't therapy but this is an episode about 2020. In this episode, Jake and Simon re-visit the concept of Big Talk and ask each other deep questions about their experiences from this year. They talk about pandemic productivity and some of the big feelings they felt this year.

Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣
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Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Mindfulness

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 24 Dec 2020 09:00:00 -0800

This isn't therapy but this is an episode about mindfulness -- or what Jake calls "meeting the moment". In this episode, Jake and Simon pitch a new chocolatey venture to therapy icon Brene Brown and talk about how to make the most of every moment.

Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣
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Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Toxic positivity, baby

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 03 Dec 2020 09:00:00 -0800

This isn't therapy but it is an episode about Toxic Positivity!!!! In this episode, Jake and Simon talk about how being overly positive may not be as helpful as one might think. Disclaimer: This episode has no relations to the hit single "Toxic" by Britney Spears.

Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣
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Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

"Instagram Therapy"

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 19 Nov 2020 09:00:00 -0800

This isn't therapy but it is an episode about ~Instagram Therapy~ and the "wellness industrial complex" (WHAT?!). In this episode, Jake talks about his experience as a therapist who uses social media to showcase his work and Simon wants you to DM to collab! Sigh... the "instagram therapy" of it all!

Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣
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Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

The First Session

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 05 Nov 2020 12:00:00 -0800

This isn't therapy but it is an episode about the first session in therapy. Jake and Simon talk about contacting a therapist for the first time and finding your therapeutic match. Tune in to hear about Simon's first impressions of the first session!

Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣
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Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Connection

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Fri, 09 Oct 2020 09:16:44 -0700

This isn't therapy but it is a conversation about connection and connecting to ourselves. Jake and Simon talk about our eight (yes, eight!) senses and how that changes our ability to connect with and fully experience the world.

Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣
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Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Rupture & Repair

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Fri, 09 Oct 2020 09:16:35 -0700

This isn't therapy but it is a conversation about the concepts of rupture and repair in relationships. Jake and Simon talk about what rupture can look like and why an intentional practice of repair is a fundamental process for overcoming disconnection in relationships.

Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣
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Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Finding a therapist

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 27 Aug 2020 16:00:00 -0700

This isn’t therapy but it’s a conversation starter about finding a therapist. In this episode, Simon reveals a personal secret about his own therapy journey, which leads to an exploratory conversion about the experiences of finding a therapist in the private mental health sector. P.S. We will continue to revisit this topic! This episode is not meant to be a complete or full representation about the process of finding a therapist. ⁣
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Resources discussed: Psychology Today⁣

⁣Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣
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Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Closed Captioning Available: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3Xouv3oW-k

Avoiding big feelings

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Thu, 27 Aug 2020 16:00:00 -0700

This isn’t therapy but this is a conversation about avoiding feelings. In this episode, Jake and Simon discuss the second set of stories submitted via the previous prompt about vulnerability. Jake and Simon dive deep into a story about being the “strong partner” in a relationship and another about learning to cry.⁣

Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣
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Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Closed Captioning Available: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EChNkNeWEIQ&t=4s

Vulnerability city

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Wed, 26 Aug 2020 13:00:10 -0700

This isn’t therapy but this is a discussion about vulnerability. In this episode, Jake and Simon discuss a prompt that asked listeners to name a time they were vulnerable and were ultimately glad they were. What follows is a conversation inspired by two stories - one about coming out as an atheist (as a precursor to coming out as gay) and another about a listener who doesn’t know what vulnerability looks or feels like.

Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣
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Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck

Closed Captioning Available: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91p9MbPKX_A

This Isn't Therapy: Trailer

Jake Ernst & Simon Paluck — Wed, 26 Aug 2020 12:53:02 -0700

Follow us on Instagram @notatherapypodcast⁣
Jake Ernst: @mswjake
Simon Paluck: @directedbysimon ⁣⁣
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Episode mixed by Jordan Paluck