The Turtle Club

S5Ep3 - Big Trouble In Little China (1986)

The Turtle Club — Wed, 01 Apr 2026 22:02:21 -0300

Our hosts Did not watch Bloodfist 3 due to a shift in the timeline thanks to the devious Lee Wormy Oswald. They instead discuss the 1986 John Carpenter masterpiece, Oscar snub Big Trouble in Little China. Anyone in the mood for 5 Guys? Anyone see that movie Heretic?

S5Ep2 - Tremors (1990)

The Turtle Club — Fri, 20 Mar 2026 21:06:37 -0300

Jeroid appears on "Today" with Bryant Gumbel, but must wear a silly shirt as the result of a misunderstanding with Kramoid's "low talker" girlfriend; Georgoid moves in with his parents.

S5Ep1 - Jurassic Park (1993)

The Turtle Club — Mon, 09 Mar 2026 17:51:11 -0300

With all that dead weight gone, our remaining hosts let loose on 1993s hit feature, Jurassic Park! They discuss the movie more than ever!

Email theturtleclub69@gmail.com for suggestions, questions and donations (please).

S4Ep24: 2025 Wrap-Up (Timeline mix-up)

The Turtle Club — Mon, 09 Mar 2026 17:49:14 -0300

Our hosts wrap up the final full year for the Turtle Club, we say goodbye to Migel and hello to our former president.

Stay tuned for extended seasons and email theturtleclub69@gmail.com for answers to all questions with any and all timelines.

S4Ep23 - Ernest Saves Christmas (1988)

The Turtle Club — Wed, 18 Feb 2026 22:12:23 -0400

Four friends discuss the final movie of 2025, they discuss Ernest in Martyrs, when The Simpsons go bad and the timeline gets fixed. Alan was not aware you could hear him eating chocolates so clearly.

S4ep22 - Rat Race (2001)

The Turtle Club — Sun, 08 Feb 2026 22:26:33 -0400

Mr. Bean falls asleep and no one enjoys it. Alan is the coolest.

Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com
Twitter @turtleclubpod

S4Ep21 - MouseHunt (1997)

The Turtle Club — Sun, 30 Nov 2025 17:23:21 -0400

Hunting mice with Nathan Lane. Also Alan is totally here bro we swear Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter @turtleclubpod

S4Ep20 - Funny Games (1997)

The Turtle Club — Sun, 30 Nov 2025 15:46:49 -0400

Austrian or American? YOU DECIDE. Migel won't give up his Migel eggs Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter @turtleclubpod

S4Ep19 - Martyrs (2008)

The Turtle Club — Sun, 16 Nov 2025 15:35:49 -0400

What has Alan been up to? I hope we find out soon! Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter @turtleclubpod

S4Ep18 - Battle Royale (2000)

The Turtle Club — Sun, 16 Nov 2025 13:57:23 -0400

Migel has very strong opinions on child murder. Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter @turtleclubpod

S4Ep17 - Pokémon the Movie 2000 (1999)

The Turtle Club — Tue, 28 Oct 2025 18:37:48 -0300

Migel likes an anime movie? What a twist! Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter @turtleclubpod

S4Ep16 - Dragon Ball Super: Broly (2018)

The Turtle Club — Sat, 25 Oct 2025 14:25:34 -0300

Migel is confronted by forces he cannot comprehend and chooses to react with anger instead of curiosity. Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter @turtleclubpod

S4Ep15 - The First Slam Dunk (2022)

The Turtle Club — Mon, 15 Sep 2025 22:09:06 -0300

Your hosts discuss SPORTS. Alan is still kidnapped too. Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod

S4Ep14 - Friday the 13th (2009)

The Turtle Club — Wed, 30 Jul 2025 20:42:42 -0300

Your hosts eat spicy wings while discussing the 2009 remake of Friday the 13th. Thank you to Melinda's Pepper Sauce challenge! Also Alan is still missing! Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod

S4Ep13 - DOA: Dead or Alive (2006)

The Turtle Club — Tue, 22 Jul 2025 20:32:49 -0300

Your hosts discuss the morality of having consensual relations with a clone of yourself Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod

S4Ep12 - Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994)

The Turtle Club — Wed, 09 Jul 2025 13:43:30 -0300

Elle picked another banger and Migel received some fan mail in the form of a friendly video. Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod

S4Ep11 - The Birdcage (1996)

The Turtle Club — Tue, 24 Jun 2025 19:39:47 -0300

One of the hosts has an announcement! Will it be Migel? Eli? Alan? Elle? Who know who it could be! Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod

S4Ep10 - The Legend of Boggy Creek (1972)

The Turtle Club — Wed, 04 Jun 2025 23:42:29 -0300

Dave successfully convinces Migel that Bigfoot is real. Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod

S4Ep9 - Big and Hairy (1998)

The Turtle Club — Sun, 25 May 2025 15:19:58 -0300

Your hosts watch bigfoot play basketball with an island boy. Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod

S4Ep8 - The Greasy Strangler (2016)

The Turtle Club — Sun, 04 May 2025 15:24:42 -0300

Let's get greasy! Hootie tootie disco cutie! Join Big Dave, Big Migel, Big Eli, and Big Alan in this sweaty discussion! Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod

S4Ep7 - Street Trash (1987)

The Turtle Club — Mon, 21 Apr 2025 19:51:08 -0300

Your hosts discuss obscure Italian horror films and avoid talking about the movie about melting homeless people. Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod

S4Ep6 - Slam Dunk Ernest (1995)

The Turtle Club — Wed, 02 Apr 2025 21:00:00 -0300

Your hosts discuss what Malcolm X would think of Slam Dunk Ernest (1995) Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod

S4Ep5 - American Pastoral (2016)

The Turtle Club — Sat, 22 Mar 2025 21:00:00 -0300

Your hosts discuss the worst movie they have had to watch for this podcast. Also Migel will NOT stop farting. Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod

S4Ep4 - The Kid Detective (2020)

The Turtle Club — Sat, 01 Mar 2025 20:00:00 -0400

Your hosts discuss The Kid Detective (2020). Many spoilers discussed throughout the entire episode. Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod

S4Ep3 - Mystery Team (2009)

The Turtle Club — Mon, 17 Feb 2025 20:00:00 -0400

Your hosts discuss Mystery Team (2009) and also being a stoner at a wrestling show Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod

S4Ep2 - The Wrestler (2008)

The Turtle Club — Sat, 25 Jan 2025 20:00:00 -0400

Your hosts discuss The Wrestler (2008) while Alan poops all over the place Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod Also if anyone wants to read Adam's long email, here's a google doc with all of it. I didn't read all of it so I hope it's not anything too negative https://docs.google.com/document/d/1HiWgEKdhiCFnX2iLUiEEo3rfvqXpOlFLQT8n574u8IE/edit?usp=sharing

S4Ep1 - Nacho Libre (2006)

The Turtle Club — Sat, 11 Jan 2025 20:00:00 -0400

With a new season comes a new format! How will it go? Idk I guess we'll have to see Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod

Season 3 Finale - Return of Alan

The Turtle Club — Fri, 03 Jan 2025 20:00:00 -0400

Alan is back and he has some explaining to do... Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod

Season 3 BONUS EPISODE - Eli Commentary

The Turtle Club — Wed, 25 Dec 2024 20:00:00 -0400

Eli has to watch the movie by himself and record commentary for it as a punishment Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod

S3Ep12 - Original Trio

The Turtle Club — Fri, 13 Dec 2024 20:00:00 -0400

We're back to the original three hosts. Will it stay this way??? Stick around and find out! Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod

S3Ep11 - Alan's Announcement

The Turtle Club — Sat, 23 Nov 2024 20:00:00 -0400

One of your hosts has an announcement. Sounds like it could be pretty serious. I would listen to this one if I were you. Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod

S3Ep10 - The Secret Ingredient is MAC

The Turtle Club — Tue, 22 Oct 2024 21:00:00 -0300

Your hosts discuss cooking and preparing alien meats. Also Michael is suddenly super likeable for some reason???? Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod

S3Ep9 - r/Atheism Takes Hold

The Turtle Club — Tue, 17 Sep 2024 22:32:41 -0300

The movie for next year? God's Not Dead? The Passion of the Christ? Idk probably some stupid BS. I guess we'll see Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod

S3Ep8 - The Passion of the T-Rex

The Turtle Club — Sat, 17 Aug 2024 20:49:56 -0300

Your hosts get distracted by Catholic guilt films. Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod

S3Ep7 - Muddy Butts and Pretty Poetry

The Turtle Club — Sat, 17 Aug 2024 13:42:34 -0300

Your hosts have a poetry contest and participate in Brat summer Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod

S3Ep6 - Uncomfortable Racism

The Turtle Club — Thu, 20 Jun 2024 20:03:32 -0300

Your hosts have received a weirdly racist email. Listen to them discuss! Email us (no more racism please): theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X: @turtleclubpod

S3Ep5 - Brent Spiner is Very Nice IRL

The Turtle Club — Mon, 20 May 2024 00:20:50 -0300

One of your hosts met Brent Spiner! And he was very nice! Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod

S3Ep4 - WrestleMania With a T-Rex

The Turtle Club — Thu, 11 Apr 2024 19:23:50 -0300

Your hosts are ready for TurtleMania, brothers! Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod

S3Ep3 Jimmy Carter VS Robot Squirrel

The Turtle Club — Sat, 23 Mar 2024 20:43:10 -0300

Okay but really think about it. Jimmy Carter has freaking NIGHT VISION! He would definitely win. Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod

S3Ep2 - You Bet Your Sweet Ass I Am!

The Turtle Club — Sun, 11 Feb 2024 20:24:31 -0400

Tammy and the T-Rex (1994) continues to be interesting and unhinged. Your hosts are a tad bit split about it, but an exclusive club invite has them distracted. Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod

S3Ep1 - Tammy and the T-Rex (1994)

The Turtle Club — Wed, 10 Jan 2024 19:27:32 -0400

Your hosts have returned for another year of trash! And what's this? A fourth host? Welcoming Alan Richardson as a new permanent host! This year's movie is Tammy and the T-Rex (1994) Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod

Season 2 Finale - I'm Sorry Michael's Audio Sucks

The Turtle Club — Mon, 01 Jan 2024 21:36:45 -0400

Your hosts are officially done with Kangaroo Jack (2003). They recorded a really short finale this year. Michael's audio kinda sucks, but they're too lazy to re-record. Happy Arbor Day! Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod

S2Ep12 - Synchronized Italian Nodding

The Turtle Club — Sat, 02 Dec 2023 14:39:09 -0400

Your hosts are in better moods as they approach the end of their year of hell. Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod

S2Ep11 - A Depressing Roundtable

The Turtle Club — Tue, 14 Nov 2023 11:41:19 -0400

Your hosts had a guest cancel on them so they decide to have an open discussion about their feelings on the podcast as a whole. Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod

S2Ep10 - A Bag of Chili

The Turtle Club — Tue, 10 Oct 2023 12:39:07 -0300

Your hosts are over it. Kangaroo Jack (2003) has broken them to the point where they no longer care. Special guest Chris aka Tophertokes! Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod

S2Ep9 - Saw 11: Kangaroo Buzzsaw

The Turtle Club — Tue, 05 Sep 2023 22:29:10 -0300

Your hosts talk more about Saw than Kangaroo Jack (2003). Alan is back and Dave gets a passing grade. Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod

S2Ep8 - Sexual Awakenings During Kangaroo Jack (2003)

The Turtle Club — Wed, 09 Aug 2023 12:00:03 -0300

Your hosts are more miserable than they've ever been and it doesn't help that they've received a bizarre fan email. Special guest Khadjiah! Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter/X @turtleclubpod

S2Ep7 - Let's Get Political

The Turtle Club — Sat, 08 Jul 2023 18:32:35 -0300

Your hosts have decided to alienate their audience. Kangaroo Jack (2003) is turning their brains to mush. Special guest Liam Donafee aka Liamslunchbox Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter @turtleclubpod

S2Ep6 - Kangaroo Jack 2: Double Face Returns

The Turtle Club — Mon, 05 Jun 2023 17:33:04 -0300

Your hosts aren't struggling as much as previous months. This could be because they finally watched Kangaroo Jack 2 aka G'Day USA. Alan Richardson returns as well as his evil alter ego, the nefarious Double Face! Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter @turtleclubpod

S2Ep5 - Charlie and Louis: Boner Champs

The Turtle Club — Thu, 04 May 2023 19:00:51 -0300

Your hosts have become enamored by the sexual power dynamics displayed in Kangaroo Jack (2003). With returning guest, Jacob! aka The Master of The Master of Disguise (2002) Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter @turtleclubpod

S2Ep4 - Empathetic Sharting

The Turtle Club — Sun, 09 Apr 2023 16:25:41 -0300

The cold is starting to overtake your hosts. Will they fight back? Or will they succumb to the sweet release of death? Kangaroo Jack (2003) changes you. Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter @turtleclubpod

S2Ep3 - Double Face Rises

The Turtle Club — Sat, 04 Mar 2023 13:19:49 -0400

Alan Richardson returns to The Turtle Club along with his nefarious, evil doing cohort, Double Face! Also Kangaroo Jack (2003) is discussed. Email us! theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter @turtleclubpod

S2Ep2 - KangaTWO Jack

The Turtle Club — Sat, 04 Feb 2023 11:48:56 -0400

Your hosts are already losing enthusiasm. Kangaroo Jack (2003) might be their ultimate downfall if they allow themselves to succumb to it. One full month in and they have many regrets. Email theturtleclub69@gmail.com Twitter @turtleclubpod

S2Ep1 - The First Hop

The Turtle Club — Thu, 19 Jan 2023 16:36:40 -0400

Your hosts have returned for another ride! And this time they're heading to the outback with Kangaroo Jack (2003)! Can they do another year of this? We shall see! theturtleclub69@gmail.com @turtleclubpod

Season 1 Finale - Master of Goodbyes

The Turtle Club — Fri, 30 Dec 2022 11:11:45 -0400

They did it! Your hosts approach the end of a long year feeling grateful to be done with 2022, and dreading the upcoming 2023. Get hyped for season 2! Follow The Turtle Club @turtleclubpod on Twitter! Email them @theturtleclub69@gmail.com

Episode 12 - The Sun is Setting

The Turtle Club — Fri, 02 Dec 2022 11:46:18 -0400

Your hosts are so close to the end they can almost taste it. One more month of this and they can be done with The Master of Disguise (2002) forever. Returning guest Jacob aka The Master of The Master of Disguise!

Episode 11 - Final Stretch

The Turtle Club — Fri, 04 Nov 2022 16:02:20 -0300

Your hosts are almost done! Will they be grateful to be done with The Master of Disguise (2002)? Or will they miss it? Featuring guest Jimmy aka Through & Through

Movie Commentary and Spicy Wings Challenge

The Turtle Club — Fri, 21 Oct 2022 10:33:55 -0300

Your hosts watch The Master of Disguise (2002) and eat spicy wings. Their suffering is your amusement.

Episode 10 - Into the Sandlerverse

The Turtle Club — Tue, 11 Oct 2022 12:28:10 -0300

Your hosts are back! With the end in sight, they do their best to end in a sprint instead of a crawl. With special guest @sandlerverse!

Episode 9 - Bottom of the Barrel

The Turtle Club — Thu, 08 Sep 2022 15:10:20 -0300

Your hosts have lost their renewed excitement from last month. Can special guest Chris aka BigAmish69 save them? Or are they too far gone?

Episode 8 - A Taste of Intellect

The Turtle Club — Sun, 07 Aug 2022 10:57:58 -0300

Special guest Sydney brings a taste of intellectualism to the discussion while your hosts continue with their normal stupid depravity

Episode 7 - Halfway There

The Turtle Club — Fri, 01 Jul 2022 21:28:48 -0300

Halfway done and there's no going back. Special guest Alan Richardson

Episode 6 - At Least We Have Each Other

The Turtle Club — Tue, 07 Jun 2022 19:58:15 -0300

For some, things are looking up. For others, it's worse than ever. Almost halfway there! Special guest Christian Cordes!

Episode 5 - The Talk of Shame

The Turtle Club — Sun, 08 May 2022 20:31:26 -0300

Your hosts are TIRED. With special guest Flobo Boyce! @floboboyce Email us at theturtleclub69@gmail.com @TurtleClubPod on Twitter

Episode 4 - Where Do We Go From Here?

The Turtle Club — Thu, 07 Apr 2022 17:14:06 -0300

Our hosts are a quarter of the way through the year and they are NOT doing well. Did you know that the American Civil War was fought between a secret tribe of Cherry Pie Men and a sect of Masters of Disguise? Neither did they going into this episode!

Episode 3.5 - Interview with The Master of The Master of Disguise

The Turtle Club — Mon, 21 Mar 2022 21:08:38 -0300

Our hosts are here with their first bonus episode! It's an interview with Jacob aka The Master of The Master of Disguise (2022) https://themasterofthemasterofdisguise.tumblr.com/

Episode 3 - Madness Sets In

The Turtle Club — Thu, 03 Mar 2022 00:37:33 -0400

In episode 3, our hosts prove that there is no limit to what this movie can provide. Listen as the madness begins to creep into their minds. How much further can they go? With special guest Jacob! Aka THE Master of The Master of Disguise (2002) https://themasterofthemasterofdisguise.tumblr.com/

Episode 2 - Marching Forward (With Special Guest Liam's Lunchbox)

The Turtle Club — Thu, 03 Feb 2022 01:23:04 -0400

With episode 2 our hosts start to dig deeper. Are they already scraping the bottom? Or have they only just begun? With special guest Liam Donafee from Liam's Lunchbox!

Episode 1 - It Begins

The Turtle Club — Wed, 05 Jan 2022 23:15:15 -0400

The year has officially begun and the fellas already have some regrets. One viewing down, 51 to go! Stay tuned for next month's episode!

Episode 0 - Calm Before the Storm

The Turtle Club — Thu, 16 Dec 2021 16:32:04 -0400

A short episode explaining who we are, what we're doing, and why we're doing it. Get hype.