KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Explore the revelation of Jesus in Revelation 1, transcending the historical figure to understand who Jesus is today.
• Recognize the authority and sovereign power of Jesus over your life, the keys to freedom from sin and lasting sobriety.
• Gain insights into the transformative journey of the host, James Lent, and discover the five revelations that awakened a deeper connection with God.
• Understand the symbolic significance of Jesus' appearance in Revelation, from the white hair symbolizing purity to the blazing eyes representing all-seeing judgment.
• Reflect on the assurance that Jesus holds the keys to death and hell, unlocking a path to life and heaven for believers.

HIGHLIGHT QUOTES

• "Don't be afraid. I am the first and the last. I am the living one. I was dead and now look, I am alive forever, and I hold the keys to death and hell."
• "Through the power of the Holy Spirit, we experience His blessings when we choose to live out our relationship and service to Jesus Christ."
• "King of Kings and Lord of Lords is our God. He's 100 percent man and 100 percent God. This is who we serve with loyalty and allegiance."

Want to share feedback or need a prayer request? Please visit https://recoverylifestyle.com/contact to reach out!

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Understanding Motives: Highlighting the significance of checking motives behind every choice to discern their impact.
• Power of Scripture: Encouraging a deeper engagement with the Word to understand God's will and the state of one's heart.
• Denial of Self: Emphasizing the need to deny self-gratification and selfish pursuits in favor of following Christ.
• Revival and Awakening: Urging listeners to seek spiritual revival, aligning with God's will for a fulfilled life.
• Living a Life of Purpose: Embracing choices that honor Christ and contribute to personal growth and endurance.

HIGHLIGHT QUOTES

• "Every choice impacts life positively or negatively. No one can make choices for you."
• "The heart of man is deceitful above all things... none are truly good, we've all fallen short."
• "God wants to give us a new heart, full of love, joy, and self-control."
• "The culture preaches selfishness for happiness, but true fulfillment lies in friendship with God."
• "Denying self involves rejecting self-indulgence, selfish ambition, and seeking to please oneself at the expense of others."

Want to share feedback or need a prayer request? Please visit https://recoverylifestyle.com/contact to reach out!

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Finding Redemption Through Truth: Chris reveals his profound realization during a prayer walk, acknowledging his past and the pursuit of a career that led to a life far from God's plan.
• Confronting Rock Bottom: The pivotal moment when facing a lawsuit became the catalyst for Chris's awakening, leading to a floodgate of truth and transparency about his addictions, double life, and immense guilt.
• Unveiling a Vision: Son of a King represents Chris's redemption story, a deeply personal journey of transformation, faith, and the pursuit of purpose through filmmaking.
• Crowdfunding for a Purpose: Inviting listeners to participate in this project through crowdfunding, emphasizing the impact of collective support in reaching the hearts of a million fatherless men and boys.

HIGHLIGHT QUOTES

• "I was trying to siphon pleasure from a deep well of darkness."
• "I knew exactly how we were going to live this way. I had it all figured out."
• "The recovery lifestyle podcast is about how the Lord brought freedom from years of addiction."
• "We're not going back to those things. The deliverance from addictions is permanent."

Want to share feedback or need a prayer request? Please visit https://recoverylifestyle.com/contact to reach out!

The discussion touches on the significance of reintegration into one's daily life after such transformative experiences, the challenges encountered, the reality of spiritual warfare, and the impact of these lessons on personal growth. The hosts emphasize the need for men to confront their wounds, realize their role in the battle against the enemy, and seek true deliverance and healing through faith.

Throughout the conversation, they highlight the importance of facing personal wounds and exploring the powerful impact of the Holy Spirit in bringing about genuine healing. The episode provides a poignant exploration of finding strength, purpose, and identity in a world at war and seeks to encourage men on their journey toward spiritual growth, unveiling the transformative potential found in faith, self-discovery, and the pursuit of true masculinity.

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Uncovering the true essence of masculinity and the battle against Satan's attempts to emasculate men.
• Healing from wounds, addictions, and deep-seated agreements made with the enemy through the power of the Holy Spirit and confession.
• Understanding the misconceptions of a "good Christian man" and the call to be warriors for Christ in a spiritually besieged world.
• The tangible impact of spiritual warfare and the challenges of being misunderstood, envied, and facing jealousy in the journey back to reintegration.

HIGHLIGHT QUOTES

• "The root of my addictions was not the lack of a 12-step program to follow. The root was trying to make myself feel like I'm good enough, good enough for the Lord." - Chris Decker
• "Sobriety is not salvation. It's when we come into the power of the Holy Spirit by accepting Jesus as our Lord and Savior, laying down our lives for Him in surrender." - James Lent

Want to share feedback or need a prayer request? Please visit https://recoverylifestyle.com/contact to reach out!

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Step Two, the Transformation Journal, focuses on identifying and addressing anger and control issues.
• Anger often stems from an underlying fear of losing control.
• Control-related triggers can be as simple as traffic, but they have a significant impact on our emotional well-being.
• Negative internal dialogue and rehearsing conflicts in our minds only steal our joy and energy.
• Learning to live unoffendable can bring more joy and peace to our lives.

HIGHLIGHT QUOTES

• "Whenever expectations aren't met, the result is disappointment, frustration, and anger."
• "If I could live unoffendable, how much more joyful would life be?"
• "Set your mind on things above, not on earthly things." (Colossians 3:2)

Want to share feedback or need a prayer request? Please visit https://recoverylifestyle.com/contact to reach out!

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Embracing the grace of God and commitment to obedience are key to lasting recovery and transformation.
• The Word of God is the ultimate guide to understanding the Lord's standards and building a relationship with Him.
• Peace and freedom from addiction can be achieved through a strong connection with the divine and the power of the Holy Spirit.
• Addressing common addictions like pornography, alcohol, and drugs is crucial for personal growth and recovery.
• Seek the Lord with a pure heart, allowing Him to search your soul and guide you toward eternal life.

HIGHLIGHT QUOTES

• "The transformation journey I have been on has been one of coming to an understanding of the grace of God, a deeper experience with the faithfulness of Jesus Christ, character, discipline, and repentance in my heart and life."
• "The Lord did a marvelous work through Chuck Smith, and, uh, many of those pastors around the country sprang from the Calvary Chapel movement."
• "The rewards and benefits of knowing and understanding the Lord are freedom from addiction, confusion, emotional and mental distress, anxiety, and finding peace that goes beyond our ability to understand."
• "You are fully and completely undermining your potential for life if you're indulging in pornography, alcohol, or drugs."
• "I pray that you would invest time with the Lord and ask Him to search your heart and lead you towards the path that leads to eternal life."

Want to share feedback or need a prayer request? Please visit https://recoverylifestyle.com/contact to reach out!

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• The Recovery Lifestyle program focuses on a 16-week journey, beginning with confessing sins and addressing character defects.
• James emphasizes the role of a dysfunctional belief system in influencing behaviors and decisions.
• The transformation of one's belief system aligns with God's will and involves the Holy Spirit's guidance.
• James shares his personal journey from addiction to recovery and highlights the importance of making recovery lifestyle choices.
• Believers need to prepare for the Kingdom of Heaven by studying the Bible and allowing the Word of God to shape their lives.
• James discusses the concept of the rapture and the role of believers in the millennial reign of Christ.

HIGHLIGHT QUOTES

• "Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another that you may be healed for the fervent, effective prayer of a righteous man availeth much." - James 5:16
• "If we confess our sins, He, meaning God, is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." - 1 John 1:9
• "To be poor in spirit is to know and understand your need for God, that God wants to prepare you for your calling and your ministry and anoint you with the Holy Spirit."
• "You never do this on your own. You're gonna need the help. So Jesus says, I will not leave you alone as orphans, but I will send the counselor, and he will guide you into all truth."
• "Prepare yourself with prayer, study the Bible. The Bible says, study to show yourself approved unto God, a workman who need not be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth."
• "Blessed is the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." - From the Beatitudes

Want to share feedback or need a prayer request? Please visit https://recoverylifestyle.com/contact to reach out!

KEY TAKEAWAYS

• Recovery is a journey of transformation, where individuals can overcome addiction and embrace lasting sobriety through faith and personal growth.
• Dysfunctional belief systems often underlie addictive behaviors, and addressing these beliefs is a crucial step in the recovery process.
• The power of community and accountability in recovery cannot be underestimated, as sharing one's struggles and progress with others is a key element of healing.
• James highlights the importance of studying and understanding the Word of God as a means of personal growth and spiritual development.
• He reminds listeners that the time for recovery is now, and that embracing God's calling and anointing can lead to a purposeful and fulfilling life.

HIGHLIGHT QUOTES

• "To be poor in spirit is to know and understand your need for God, that God wants to prepare you for your calling in your ministry."
• "We don't have to do this with machoism. We don't have to do this with testosterone. We do what we do under the power of the Holy Spirit."
• "The recovery journey is about sweeping aside things that keep us from truly knowing and understanding God and discovering what real life in Christ is all about."

Want to share feedback or need a prayer request? Please visit https://recoverylifestyle.com/contact to reach out!

In the previous episode of The Recovery Lifestyle Podcast, John and James discuss the "Search me" prayer in Craig Groeschel’s Dangerous Prayers book referencing Psalm 139.

In today's episode, the duo will be diving deeper into the dangerous prayer, “Break me” and the break me story of the perfume from Mark chapter 14 on the day before the Passover. There are tons of great insights and inspiration so tune in to this episode of The Recovery Lifestyle.

RECOVERY MOMENTS

JOHN: RECOVERY ALWAYS STARTS FROM BEING BROKEN

“I was broken and then I found recovery, started in recovery, and then the whole process of recovery really led to so many blessings in my life. So I shouldn't be afraid of becoming broken because of all the fruit that winds up coming from it.”

JAMES: IT’S THE GOODNESS OF GOD THAT DRAWS US TO REPENTANCE

“When a child of God sins, which we will continue to do saved or unsaved, what happens is the grace, love, and mercy of God goes out from the throne and just expands around us and draws us away from the sin.”

Want to share feedback or need a prayer request? Please visit https://recoverylifestyle.com/contact to reach out!

In the previous episode of The Recovery Lifestyle Podcast, John introduced us to Craig Groschel’s book, Dangerous Prayers, where he broke down the 5 dangerous prayers, "Search Me," "Reveal My Fears," "Break Me," "Send Me," and "Disturb Me".

In this episode John, together with his new co-host, James Lent, will be diving deeper into the first dangerous prayer, “Search me”. The duo discuss this prayer in detail with reference to Psalm 139. Learn more by staying tuned to this latest episode of The Recovery Lifestyle.

RECOVERY MOMENTS

JOHN: GOD IS EVERYWHERE

“God is everywhere. God knows everything. And his love for us is unbounded.”

JAMES: IT’S WE WHO DON’T KNOW ABOUT OURSELVES

“When we ask God to search us, there isn't anything that he doesn't know about us. Yeah, but there's plenty that we don't know about ourselves.”

Want to share feedback or need a prayer request? Please visit https://recoverylifestyle.com/contact to reach out!

In this episode of The Recovery Lifestyle Podcast, John discusses the book "Dangerous Prayers" by Craig Groeschel. He explains the purpose of the book and its significance for those in recovery.

John discusses the five dangerous prayers mentioned in the book: "Search Me," "Reveal My Fears," "Break Me," "Send Me," and "Disturb Me" and provides a detailed explanation of each prayer and the related Bible verses and devotionals.

RECOVERY MOMENTS

JOHN: THE FIVE DANGEROUS PRAYERS

“Jesus didn't just challenge others to leave their own wills behind. He too lived the dangerous states. He touched lepers, showed grace to prostitutes, and stood bravely in the face of danger. Then He told us, we could do what He did, and more. So the dangerous prayers are search me, reveal my fears, break me, send me, and disturb me.”

JOHN: EARNESTLY PRAY FOR GOD TO USE YOU

“If you're feeling like your prayer life is stale, or if you hit a recovery plateau, then earnestly pray for God to use you, and He will.”

Want to share feedback or need a prayer request? Please visit https://recoverylifestyle.com/contact to reach out!

Can freedom be achieved by man alone? How does one know that he/she is free? This edition of The Recovery Lifestyle discusses the relationship between freedom and holiness. It explains that holiness means being set apart for God and that Jesus came to restore the breath of life lost in Genesis 3. It also highlights Jesus' mission statement and the progressive steps of spiritual awakening and recovery outlined in the Beatitudes.

RECOVERY MOMENTS

FREEDOM FROM THE STATE OF BEING DEAD

“Its freedom from the state of being dead, God releases us back into our natural original condition, that of being alive, like Adam was before Genesis three in him in Jesus.”

THE TWO KINGDOMS

“Every single one of you is a kingdom man. Make no mistake about it. Every one of you in every man, is a kingdom man, and every man belongs to one of two kingdoms. There's not more, there's only two. There's two kingdoms on earth, and every man belongs to one of the other, there's the Kingdom of Heaven and the kingdom of darkness. That's it. When Jesus said, repent, for the Kingdom of Heaven is at hand. He was pointing out now that he's bringing the Kingdom of Heaven down to the earth.”

Want to share feedback or need a prayer request? Please visit https://recoverylifestyle.com/contact to reach out!

Getting close to Season 3, John Rizzi opens the episode by talking about where they are now in planning what the season will look like. Then he proceeds to discuss Lesson 8 from Celebrate Recovery. 

John focuses the episode today on MORAL. What does it really mean? In the book, MORAL is an acronym for Make Time, Open, Rely, Analyze, and List. Stay tuned to learn these in detail in the latest episode of The Recovery Lifestyle podcast.

RECOVERY MOMENTS

JOHN: MAKE TIME TO LISTEN

“M is MAKE TIME. I think that the book suggests setting aside a day or a weekend, to listen to yourself and to God, and I think that we need to be really prayerful about this.”

JOHN: OPEN YOURSELF TO THE TRUTH

“O is OPEN. So this is where the fearlessness comes in, ask God to reveal things. So we have to ask him to be truthful. But it's there's no problem asking him to be gentle to and he will be. Sometimes it might not feel that way, so we're talking about waking up our feelings”

JOHN: RELY ON JESUS

“R is RELY. This is relying on Jesus, for strength, for guidance, for wisdom, for insight, at this point, I should have completed step three and turned my will over to the care and control of Jesus.”

JOHN: ANALYZE BY JOURNALING

“A is ANALYZE, I think I've talked about one of my goals for 2023 is being better at journaling, being better at reflection, and setting these specific goals of having consistency in daily, weekly, monthly, and quarterly annual reflection.”

JOHN: LIST YOUR EXPERIENCE

“L is LIST. So this is where we're getting the good, the bad, and the ugly out on paper, and there's something really powerful about seeing it on the page, or the screen. One of the questions in this lesson is ‘why is it important to do a written inventory?’ And in my share, I said writing it down makes it real. There's power in seeing on paper, the patterns, the enormity, the realness. It's a bit like a confession.”

Want to share feedback or need a prayer request? Please visit https://recoverylifestyle.com/contact to reach out!

In this episode, John and Chris will be talking about the new 12-step program where certain methods are changed and outside topics are being utilized to make the program more accessible and flexible for its participants. John breaks down the steps and the logic behind them and invites everyone to join. Find out more about these changes in this latest episode of The Recovery Lifestyle.

RECOVERY MOMENTS

JOHN: MAKING IT ACCESSIBLE

"The whole premise is we want to make recovery a bit more accessible without it losing any of its power.”

JOHN: OUTSIDE TOPICS FOR MORE FLEXIBILITY

"We've brought in the topics outside of just pure Celebrate Recovery material because we want to have that flexibility.”

Want to share feedback or need a prayer request? Please visit https://recoverylifestyle.com/contact to reach out!

Chris quotes a chairman from Chick-Fil-A about asking God’s blessing for your business as fair game and he, with John, talked about how it applies to being a person in service. As we receive blessings fro God, it becomes an enabler for us to grow our service in a bigger way. Let’s dive deeper into this amazing talk in this latest episode of The Recovery Lifestyle.

RECOVERY MOMENTS

JOHN: IT’S JUST FAIR GAME

"This is a quote from Jesus, I came so that you would have life and have it abundantly. And that doesn't necessarily mean he wants to give us a bunch of money and stuff. But he wants to give us this really rich life that includes relationships with others with him. And with serving, right, Jesus is all about serving. And if I'm successful financially, I'm going to be able to serve in a bigger and bigger way. So I think that that's, that's totally fair game.”

CHRIS: WE ARE DIFFERENT, BUT WIRED TOGETHER

"I have a choice with every action I take is a vote for me I have control over the things that I do. I can choose to take the next right step. I can choose to pray about a situation. I can seek the wisdom of God who promises to give it to us.”

Want to share feedback or need a prayer request? Please visit https://recoverylifestyle.com/contact to reach out!

The two discuss that setting goals is a spiritual responsibility. They also talk about how goals are statements of faith and how the bigger the goal, the more faith is stretched. Learn more about how goals can be fundamental to your work in this latest episode of The Recovery Lifestyle.

RECOVERY MOMENTS

JOHN: WE NEED GOALS TO TRULY RECOVER

"I think it's important, you know, where we're living the recovery lifestyle, and I think it's important for us to have recovery goals if we're going to continue to grow and evolve in our recovery.”

CHRIS: WE ARE DIFFERENT, BUT WIRED TOGETHER

"I've come to understand that everybody does things differently, and that is because we are all made that way, and we are made to work together. We're just we're wired that way spiritually and physically to work together.”

Want to share feedback or need a prayer request? Please visit https://recoverylifestyle.com/contact to reach out!

RECOVERY MOMENTS

CHRIS: GOD LIFTED ME OUT OF DEPRESSION

"It helped turn a corner and adjust this series of events watching how God is working, lifting me out of this depression very slowly right now. But I'm noticing just the intentionality. He's like wanting me to see certain things and to experience certain things and learn some serious lessons right now.”

CHRIS: FEAR IS NOT OF GOD, HAVE NONE OF IT

"Fear is not of God. It's not, it's not, And the more time I spend in negative thoughts, not holding them captive, like the Bible tells me to, the more I allow these things to perpetuate, the more you know, the enemy wins.”

Want to share feedback or need a prayer request? Please visit https://recoverylifestyle.com/contact to reach out!

Chris Decker and John Rizzi discuss recent events in John's life, including a severe bike crash that resulted in multiple injuries. As John reflects that this may have been a spiritual attack because of his recent recovery work, he also shares that this could be a way of teaching him to learn how to slow down and to always trust that God will heal him completely. Be inspired by John’s story in this latest episode of The Recovery Lifestyle.

RECOVERY MOMENTS

JOHN: IT’S AN EVERYDAY BATTLE, AND GOD IS YOUR TRUSTY ALLY

"As I've lived through recovery and into the recovery lifestyle, I realized this is a daily battle for me, where I'm saying that I trust God, even telling him that I trust Him.”

JOHN: ACCEPT WHERE YOU ARE AND TRUST GOD TO HEAL YOU

"People are looking at me going what's wrong with that guy? And say it. I don't care. This is where I am right now, and I'm just accepting it and leaning into it and trusting God to heal me completely.”

Want to share feedback or need a prayer request? Please visit https://recoverylifestyle.com/contact to reach out!

RECOVERY MOMENTS

JOHN: Adopting servant-based leadership in the secular world

"This concept of the secular world, adopting servant-based leadership and having these characteristics of valuing people, being humble, being a good listener, instilling trust, caring about the people who work who was leading. I mean, I look at those traits, and I think, who does that sound like? It sounds like Christ to me.”

JOHN: The struggle of being a Christian in a leadership role in a secular job

"I struggle with the whole concept of being a Christian in a leadership role in a secular job. I struggle with the part about, is this really even God's purpose for me, because it's so not Christian. and how I can bring my faith to work without forcing it on others, especially being in a leadership role. So it's really hard and where I try to land on it is just being authentic, being approachable. Being someone who cares about others, and who tries to love at work, and I know that's not a term that we often use at work.”

Want to share feedback or need a prayer request? Please visit https://recoverylifestyle.com/contact to reach out!

RECOVERY MOMENTS

JOHN: Pray with and for your wife

"The number one thing is praying within for my wife, this is something that's easy to do. It doesn't cost me anything but a couple of minutes, and it should just be effortless.”

JOHN: The best gift you can ever give to your kids

"Think about like, what kind of gift you could give your kids if you guys were to, over their upbringing, indoctrinate them into the habit of Sabbath to where they're because you know, one of the things that God wants us to do, and I think we've talked about this before is work from a place of rest.”

Want to share feedback or need a prayer request? Please visit https://recoverylifestyle.com/contact to reach out!

RECOVERY MOMENTS

CHRIS: Developing an affair out of spiritual moments

"I had an emotional affair with my wife with a woman that I shared spiritual moments with, and from those spiritual moments, being willing to open up to another woman about God and spirituality. That led to an emotional bond and an attraction that in my mind was sexual. It never got acted out, and thankfully, I realized what I was doing and I broke it off.”

JOHN: What “dying for our wives” really means

"Jesus is saying, he's not telling us to literally die for our wives. I mean, if it came to that, yeah, we should, everybody should be willing to take a bullet for their wife. But really, he's talking about dying to our selfishness, dying to our need to be right, dying to our need to always have our way, dying to our need to be in control all the time, these are the things that Jesus is dying and is telling us to die to. And I'll tell you what, mentally, that's probably harder.”

Want to share feedback or need a prayer request? Please visit https://recoverylifestyle.com/contact to reach out!

#recoverylifestyle, #recovery, #intimacyanorexia, #withholdingspirituality, #spirituality, #affair, #spiritualmoments

HIGHLIGHTS

• Taking over a ministry and completing a 'business divorce' 
• Continuing recovery amidst personal and professional challenges 
• Advice for people experiencing near-burnout levels of stress and overwhelm
• The rhythm of creation, rest, and work 
• Our culture celebrates over-work, but we don't have to 
• Consistency always trumps intensity 

QUOTES

Chris describes his recent struggle with balancing work, self, and family: "I'd given my partner a lot of paternity leave when he had his daughter earlier this year, and I thought that it was gonna be a no-brainer that I would get to take several weeks to rest and be with my family. And I got like, 10 minutes and went straight back to work." 

Chris on saying no more often: "As someone who struggles with co-dependency, in order to make space, I'm going to have to disappoint somebody by saying I need to take a break right now. I'm sorry, I cannot do this. Here are the other things that I need to do. As a co-dependent, saying no is very difficult for me."

John on listening to God's will about work and rest: "We get to this place where we care so much about what other people think that we're starting to discount what God thinks and what He really wants us to do. We know unequivocally that He wants us to work from a place of rest. He built it into the rhythm of creation for us to work six days and take a day of rest."

Want to share feedback or need a prayer request? Please visit https://recoverylifestyle.com/contact to reach out!

HIGHLIGHTS

• How resentment is holding back your recovery
• Having difficult conversations is part of a healthy marriage 
• Learn how to separate the problem from the symptom
• What would be a better question to ask?
• Marriage cannot be a transactional thing

QUOTES

John on the importance of having difficult conversations: "Just having the courage to have this conversation and talk about some of the areas where [we're missing each other], it gave me a little bit of a sense of peace. And to get it out there helped motivate me to do more on my part."

Chris on misidentifying the symptom as the problem: "I do this all the time. I'll just complain about something that I don't have, and then describe that as being the problem and then try to do anything to solve that. But I'm not really solving the underlying intimacy anorexia thing that's happening that cause me not to be able to have this kind of sex that I want."

Want to share feedback or need a prayer request? Please visit https://recoverylifestyle.com/contact to reach out!

Being intentional about boundaries and the correct way of dealing with sexual dynamics in both your personal and professional life are crucial concepts to learn for every faithful man. At the end of the day, God can use any negative thing that the enemy has set for you and turn it into a tool for recovery, if you are open enough to let Him do His work on you. 

HIGHLIGHTS

• Leaders that can't be questioned end up doing questionable things 
• Leaders need to be intentional in placing boundaries in the workplace 
• Your kids are gonna learn about sex; it might as well come from you 
• It's been increasingly difficult but still possible to stay sexually pure 
• It's not easy to commit yourself to recovery; but do it anyway
• Accountability can be freeing 
• If you're gonna hang out in the barbershop, you're gonna get your hair cut 

QUOTES

John on why he continues to undergo recovery: "We all have damage, we all have hurt, we all have brokenness and we all have things that we can do better. For me that's been the most beneficial thing about recovery is  continuing to find these things and continuing to be aware of these things and continuing to try and work on them."

John's on setting boundaries in the workplace: "There're real people who are attractive, that I want to get to know, that I want to talk to and I need to have boundaries like, I'm not going to lunch with a woman. Or to coffee with a woman. Or having a woman in my office with the door closed. Those are things that I need to be really careful about."

Chris on God's power to change your life, if you let Him: "God can use every situation in your life and turn it for good. Everything that the enemy  meant for evil he can turn it for good."

Want to share feedback or need a prayer request? Please visit https://recoverylifestyle.com/contact to reach out!

HIGHLIGHTS

• What sobriety from sexual addiction means 
• You have to confide in somebody and get help 
• Keep pursuing your wife and meet her needs 
• Be more assertive and intentional with your actions 

QUOTES

Chris on why you need to avoid all inappropriate content: "Even the smallest seed can get into your brain and derail you. You need to stop all of it."

John's tips for meeting your wife's emotional needs: "Know your wife's love languages. Speak to her in her love languages. Serve her. Compliment her. Talk to her. Ask open-ended questions. Actually listen. Give good feedback. None of this stuff comes naturally to most of us. So that means we have to have intentionality."

Chris on why we need to be more communicative about expectations: "There's these covert contracts that we're creating with people in our life and we're disappointed when they don't do that thing. This is lunacy. It is necessary to be clear with communication. Actually setting boundaries creates more freedom."

Want to share feedback or need a prayer request? Please visit https://recoverylifestyle.com/contact to reach out!

HIGHLIGHTS

• Sex, as described in the Bible 
• A life of sin leads to spiritual death 
• Sex is a divine act that must be treated with reverence 
• Lust is equal to adultery
• Achieving sexual discipline will take a lifetime of practice

QUOTES

John on the need for man and wife to engage on sexual relations: "Paul is telling us at the end of these verses, you might want to take a break from sexual relations as long as you agree and it's really intended to be a spiritual thing, kind of like a fast. But then he says, ‘You’ve got to come back together or Satan will be able to tempt you because of your lack of self control, your lack of self discipline.’" 

Chris on the need to develop a sexual discipline: "A part of being a Christian man is developing discipline in these areas with the power of the Holy Spirit. And sex is something that requires developing habits and discipline or else, it will run rampant and control your life."

Chris on the apostle Paul's warnings about sexual sin: "The Bible is clear. It's okay to engage fully and enjoy this thing with your spouse. The warning lights here that Paul is talking about, are if you don't engage together, as a man, your eyes will wander and that's where sin starts to get a foothold."

Want to share feedback or need a prayer request? Please visit https://recoverylifestyle.com/contact to reach out!

HIGHLIGHTS

• It's not a victimless crime: everything wrong about pornography
• Pornography is ruining your marriage and life, in general 
• How pornography is affecting your brain and relationships 
• Tell-tale signs that your sex life is missing a real connection
• God created sex to be beautiful and nurturing, let's keep it that way

QUOTES

Everything wrong about pornography, says John: "I heard it described as the most potent bioweapon ever unleased on mankind. And I think that's true because there are so much wrong with porn. It's incredibly addictive, it increases risky sexual behavior, it desensitizes sexual violence, it can lead to impotence. I know for me, it increases objectification to the point where I look at every woman as an object because I've been so desensitized to those sexual images." 

Chris' experience with pornography and its devastating effects: "What porn taught me is that I'm not worth anything unless I'm in the sexual act. It taught me that it needs to be frequent and it gave me unrealistic expectations of what a man is and it destroyed my ability to have deeper relationships."

John on the emotional aspect of sex: "Sex is supposed to be an emotional connection. Most women want the emotional connection before sex, guys use the sex to boost the emotional connection, feel more emotionally connected after having sex."

Want to share feedback or need a prayer request? Please visit https://recoverylifestyle.com/contact to reach out!

HIGHLIGHTS

• Choose to be authentic instead of giving out a lame excuse
• Take a few minutes to carve out some reflection time 
• Stop trying to change your spouse or blame yourself 
• The truth about intimacy anorexia
• Let your spouse know that you appreciate them more 

QUOTES

John's thoughts on assigning blame and trying to change his wife: "I can't change her. When am I ever going to learn that? I've been married almost 26 years and I still haven't learned that I can't change my wife. I can only change myself and pray for her. And that's what I need to do more consistently."

Chris on the main reason of his being intimacy anorexic: "I think of intimacy anorexia as like, if I love my wife and I'm the opposite of intimacy anorexic, what am I afraid is gonna happen? I'm afraid actually of exposure to true love. I'm afraid of truly baring my soul and trusting and loving for fear of getting hurt."

Want to share feedback or need a prayer request? Please visit https://recoverylifestyle.com/contact to reach out!

HIGHLIGHTS

• The Power of Words: choose to praise freely
• We find whatever we are looking for
• Tell your wife why you love her  
• Your subordinates need affirmation too
• Leadership is about empowerment 
• Don't overdo your praise either 
• Try to make incremental progress

QUOTES

John on the power of words: "Our words have so much power. What you say can preserve life or destroy it. So you must accept the consequences of your words. That's in Proverbs 18:21."

Chris on the power of simple affirmation: "Whether it's business or ministry, seeing people where they are and appreciating any amount of progress that they're making helps propel them forward."

Want to share feedback or need a prayer request? Please visit https://recoverylifestyle.com/contact to reach out!

HIGHLIGHTS

• What does 'Withholding Praise' look like?
• Words of affirmation should not be used for manipulation 
• The power of words, according to the Bible 
• Withholding Praise can come from a place of false humility
• Lift people up instead of tearing them down 

QUOTES

John on the difference between words of affirmation and manipulation: "I think we need to keep in mind that this is not a tool for manipulation. I think that as addicts, we can use a lot of good things manipulatively because we're selfish and we want to get what we want, we often will tell people what we think what they want to hear in order to get what we want from them."

John on intentionally focusing on positive things: "We're fond of pointing out that we typically find what we're looking for. And when we're looking for the negative, we find it. So we need to be more intentional about looking for the praiseworthy things that our wives do and then pointing them out."

Chris on having difficulty receiving praise leading to withholding praise: "There's been times when my wife is giving me genuine, observational compliments about my character or something about me, and I won't receive it. And I think that's the same intimacy anorexia as withholding saying something nice to her too. It's rooted in the same thing."

Want to share feedback or need a prayer request? Please visit https://recoverylifestyle.com/contact to reach out!

HIGHLIGHTS

• We are all leaders in our own right
• Love in the context of work and career
• To love is to give people constructive feedback
• You need to earn the privilege of leading people
• You need to love people, especially those who are hard to love

QUOTES

What loving your job really means, according to John: "True love, the kind of love that we're supposed to be showing as Christ's followers, and the kind of love that Paul describes in 1 Corinthians 13. I think that those love characteristics apply to leadership and no matter what we're leading, whether it's work, school, or at home."

Chris's advice for young leaders: "As a leader, you actually have to earn that position with the people that you work with. They don't work for you. You work with them. It's a partnership. You have to earn that position everyday, with them."

Want to share feedback or need a prayer request? Please visit https://recoverylifestyle.com/contact to reach out!

HIGHLIGHTS

• Pray with and for your wife 
• Love is a choice; choose to love everyday 
• Don't stop dating each other after marriage 
• Go to church every Sunday no matter what 
• Get into a couple small group 
• Know your wife's love languages 
• Schedule your lovemaking 
• Set personal boundaries 

QUOTES

Chris on avoiding less than ideal situations: "If you hang out in a barbershop for long enough, you're going to get a haircut. Don't go there if you don't want a haircut. Really simple principle."

John on knowing your wife: "It's a lifelong process, getting to know someone as intimately as we should know our wives. And so, ask your wife questions. And you know what, remember stuff that she tells you. Remember stuff that she likes."

Want to share feedback or need a prayer request? Please visit https://recoverylifestyle.com/contact to reach out!

HIGHLIGHTS

• What is Withholding Love?
• 'Love' is an overused word in English
• God's love is unconditional 
• God's new commandment in John 13: 34-35

QUOTES

John defines Withholding Love: "We're supposed to love unconditionally but that's hard for us to do and we put conditions on our love. ‘I'll love you back if you love me first. I'll love you if you give me sex. I'll love you if you meet my expectations.’"

Chris on the incompatibility of withholding love and following Jesus: "The indicator of someone who is a disciple is that we show love. So if I'm withholding love, not only am I holding that back from my wife, I'm not being a disciple." 

Want to share feedback or need a prayer request? Please visit https://recoverylifestyle.com/contact to reach out!

On this episode of The Recovery Lifestyle podcast, John and Chris talk about why we assign blame, and why we should be using accountability instead.

HIGHLIGHTS

• Blaming others for our shortcomings goes way back to Genesis
• The value of leaning into our flaws and being vulnerable
• How we can start practicing accountability

QUOTES

John on why we heap the blame on others: "Blaming is a way that we discharge anger. And the discomfort is, 'I screwed up and I don't want to own it.’ There's discomfort because I'm losing control. So if I blame, I can make it feel like I'm in control."

John on the difference between blame and accountability: "Blame and accountability, they're not the same. Blame is assigning fault, and accountability is owning and looking for a solution. Accountability requires vulnerability and that helps me improve my empathy."

Want to share feedback or need a prayer request? Please visit https://recoverylifestyle.com/contact to reach out!

want to share feedback or need a prayer request? Visit https://recoverylifestyle.com/contact to reach out!

Have questions, a prayer request, or feedback? please visit https://recoverylifestyle.com/contact

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Please visit https://recoverylifestyle.com to leave us a prayer request, send us a message or suggest a future episode topic! 

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Have questions or want to submit a prayer request? Head over to recoverylifestyle.com

From the Hills Church website:

1X1X1=1

There’s a simple way of doing life that produces the wholeness. Its how faith becomes integrated in our lives

and how our lives are connected to each other. At Hills Church we use this simple equation to describe how we

heal, change, and grow.

Gathering

We believe that one weekly gathering with the Body of Christ and the family he’s placed you in is one of the keys to a healthy life. We’re better together.

Group

One group of people that you “do life” with; people who encourage you, challenge you,

know you and still love you;

a safe circle of relationships.

Appointment

A once daily meeting with Jesus in prayer and His word in which our personal relationship with Him is cultivated.

To learn more about Pastor Jeff and Hills Church please visit: https://hillschurchoc.com/

Follow Caleb:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/caleba/

https://www.instagram.com/spiritfarm/

If anything resonated with you in today's episode please let us know in a review on Apple or visit: https://119nine.org

Out of the Darkness (The Book) is an introduction to understanding intimacy, emotional and sexual anorexia. It was written for men and women who are married to an anorexic or are anorexic themselves as well as clinicians to better assist their clientele. The book will help you better understand the anorexic cycle, how it works, anorexic thinking, as well as how to intervene and to stop this cycle.

Take this free self-assessment: https://www.transformedhearts.com/free-self-assessments/intimacy-anorexia-test/

Want to get daily Bible updates? Text "Devotional" to 949.516.7747

Toward the end of the episode, we model an open share and invite you to share your experience as well. 

Learn the Habits, Mindsets and Tools you need to find God, stay sober and give back.