Key takeaways:

• How Nick's parents — a bread man and a teacher from New York — gave him a clear blueprint for fatherhood
• Why moving back from Hong Kong with twin infants taught him the power of structure and discipline
• How radical transparency with employers creates space for the dad commitments that matter
• The "survive and advance" mindset that got him and his wife through the first year with twins
• Why intentional one-on-one time with each twin is one of the most underrated things twin parents can do
• What his son Max's act of compassion toward a crying classmate told him about the dad he's becoming
• How the PopAShot national championship became a lesson in resilience and creativity for his boys
• The oxygen mask principle — why taking care of yourself first is the most selfless thing a dad can do

If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com. Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/

00:00 Nick introduces himself as Max and Luca's dad
02:15 Why the podcast format resonated with Nick right away
05:00 Growing up one of six kids in an Irish Italian Catholic family
08:30 Mom's compassion and adventure, dad's discipline and relationships
12:00 Moving to Hong Kong with LinkedIn — six years abroad
14:30 Finding out they're having identical twin boys
17:00 Seeing parenting in his older siblings — adoption, cerebral palsy, presence
21:00 The kind of dad Nick declared he would be from the start
24:30 Never missing a single pregnancy appointment
27:00 Paternity leave — being there for Diana, not just the babies
29:30 Moving back to the US, joining WeWork, the wild ride begins
33:00 Transparency at work — "the best job I've ever had is being a dad"
36:30 Creating the conditions you want instead of accepting default ones
40:00 Co-parenting as a team — playing to each other's strengths
44:00 The first year with twins: structure, survival, and celebrate every win
49:30 Max helping a crying classmate — the proudest dad moment
53:00 Luca as the voice of reason in a heated disagreement
55:30 Advice for twin parents: intentional one-on-one time
58:30 PopAShot: from shy crybaby to national championship competitor
64:00 Two Guinness World Records — 232 consecutive shots, 103-foot shot
68:00 What the boys have learned watching Nick compete, fail, and try again
72:00 Final advice: put on your oxygen mask first

Key takeaways:

• Why "three under two" reshaped everything about their parenting
• Recognizing and interrupting generational patterns of yelling
• Equanimity: staying composed instead of reacting to chaos
• The honest debate over staying together for the kids
• How cooking became a way to connect with his daughters
• Why watching your child in pain is a dad's hardest moment
• Emotional intelligence as the real preparation for fatherhood

If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com. Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/

00:00 If you can't hear the kids
00:34 Meet my brother Evan Cooper
02:00 Three daughters, three under two
04:30 Liquid gold and dividing the nights
06:30 Man-to-man and the power play
08:00 The girl-dad learning curve
11:00 Doing the research, missing the rest
14:00 Generational anger and yelling
17:30 Equanimity and staying composed
20:30 The moment it broke my heart
23:00 Staying married or co-parenting
28:00 What the girls actually took from it
31:30 Cooking as a way to connect
34:00 Entrepreneurship and a different work life
36:00 The hardest part: watching them hurt
38:00 Advice for a brand-new dad

Andrew Adams didn't plan on becoming a parent. He didn't plan 12 years of opiate addiction, multiple overdoses, or a near-fatal car accident on a highway at 75 miles per hour. But today, Andrew is stepfather to three kids, engaged to the man he loves, and one of the most grounded human beings I've had the privilege of sitting across from.

Key Takeaways:

• Why the sudden loss of structure at age 11 became the catalyst for Andrew's years-long addiction spiral
• How a neurodivergent brain chasing relief through drugs becomes a 12-year trap.
• Why "neutrality" is not indifference and how it became Andrew's superpower as a stepdad
• The danger of entering parenthood to "fix" something in yourself and the resentment it breeds
• How eight-plus years of deep personal work across 12-step programs, yoga, and spiritual practice transformed Andrew into the partner and father figure he is today
• Why Andrew never tries to discipline Dylan's kids and what he does instead
• The two-lane framework Andrew uses with children (and coaching clients alike): vision or fear, pick a direction
• How to let your relationship with stepchildren build organically without pressure
• Why kids who feel like a burden are usually carrying energy their parents chose to put on them
• The single best piece of advice for anyone stepping into a stepparent role: take it slow, and let them come to you

This is a fatherhood podcast episode about what it actually takes to show for yourself first, and then for the family that finds its way to your door.

If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com. Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/

00:00 Andrew on knowing — or not — you want kids
01:28 Tony introduces Andrew's full story
02:37 Childhood, a pastor dad, and sudden freedom at 11
05:02 Why drugs worked: silencing a neurodivergent brain
06:02 The escalation to opiates and heroin
08:54 Twelve years on and off — what that loop looked like
11:34 The car accident that finally broke through
13:15 What it takes to get a real wake-up call
15:14 Eight years of rebuilding across every modality
17:10 Forging peace through lived experience
18:44 Peace is a choice — and a remembrance
20:36 Consciousness, ego, and leading with love
22:01 Meeting Dylan — and the three kids in the package
23:28 Why "neutral" scared Dylan at first
25:45 Loving people through what they believe is an obstacle
28:30 Entering stepparenting with no force, only presence
30:40 Two choices, always — how Andrew guides children
31:26 Getting to be the fun one (and what that's built on)
33:24 The cool uncle role: someone to talk to who isn't mom or dad
35:51 Kids add to a full life — they don't complete it
38:06 When parents hold a belief that kids are taking something from them
40:01 Advice for anyone stepping into stepparenting
42:12 Tony closes the conversation

I sat down with visual artist, author, and winemaker Jermaine Dante Burs for one of the most honest, raw, and redemptive conversations I've ever had on this fatherhood podcast. Jermaine grew up watching addiction ripple through three generations of his family. He became a young father at 23, all while fighting his own battle with alcoholism that eventually landed him on life support in the hospital. What followed is a story of extraordinary transformation.

Key Takeaways:

• Why the pressure of being a young father accelerated Jermaine's addiction and what finally broke the cycle
• How unlearning the inability to receive love was foundational to becoming a present father
• The power of coaching your kids' sports and the emotional rollercoaster of watching them choose their own path
• Breaking generational trauma: when addiction runs three generations deep, becoming sober is an act of fatherhood
• The moment Jermaine's father told him "I'll always be your dad" and why he now says the same thing to his own kids
• Why fathers teach their children most powerfully in the moments they aren't trying to teach anything at all
• How 14 years of sobriety unlocked Jermaine's career as a celebrated visual artist, a gift his kids now get to witness
• The courage it takes to apologize to your own children and what it teaches them about accountability
• Why society consistently undervalues fathers, and what dads can do about it
• What it means to be "the only man on the planet who wants you to do better than me"

This is a parenting podcast for the dad who's willing to do the work: on himself, for his family, and for the generations that come after.

If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com.

Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/

00:00 Cold open: 14 years sober, no looking back
01:10 Tony introduces Jermaine Dante Burs
03:27 Jermaine's kids: Natalia (22) and Jordan (17)
05:04 Why receiving love was so hard to learn
08:14 Addiction forms quietly — a compounding interest
10:14 Becoming a young dad and altering reality
12:19 Showing up: assistant coach for Jordan's varsity team
14:34 The emotional rollercoaster of coaching your own son
17:17 Using his father's parenting as a mirror
18:12 What it was like growing up with a father who was both
20:33 "I'll always be your dad" — the lesson that landed twice
23:11 Ask first: do you want to listen, or do you want advice?
25:32 Teaching your son to sit in discomfort
27:06 Why Jermaine apologizes to his kids — often
30:04 Generational addiction: grandfather, father, Jermaine
32:53 Watching his father relapse after 13 years of sobriety
35:13 Living a double life while Natalia visited
37:14 What alcoholism actually does to your body
40:26 Highly functional — and still a father — through addiction
41:00 The pros and cons list of who he wanted to be as a dad
43:08 Rock bottom: life support and the audit that followed
45:58 Art is rediscovered after leaving the hospital
48:19 15 years away from the paintbrush — then sobriety changed it
50:28 Sugar Ray Leonard and Anthony Anderson — moments made possible by sobriety
52:22 "I'm the only man on the planet who wants you to do better than me"
55:42 Watching Jordan win the league championship — and leaking
57:42 Dad won't always be here: lessons in supply and demand
58:21 Mother's Day vs. Father's Day: the hospitality truth
1:01:07 Fathers play a massive role — and deserve to be praised
1:03:11 Tony closes: gratitude, love, and until next time

Vascular surgeon and expectant father Lucas Ferrer joins Tony Cooper for a candid conversation about what life looks like at 25 weeks pregnant. Lucas opens up about the in-between feeling of impending fatherhood — the moments of disconnection at work and the gut-punch of feeling Santiago kick for the first time. Together, Tony and Lucas explore generational patterns, the fear culture Lucas grew up with in Puerto Rico, and the powerful model his grandfather set. This is a rare, honest look inside the heart and mind of a man preparing to become a dad.

Key Takeaways:

• The emotional reality of expectant fatherhood often oscillates between disconnection and profound shock
• Becoming a parent heightens awareness of unconscious patterns and generational trauma
• Growing up around self-aware role models can shape a man's approach to fatherhood long before he becomes a father
• Fear of risk is a learned behavior — and it can be unlearned
• Being present as a father starts as an intention you set before the baby arrives
• A man's relationship with support and community matters as much as his individual inner work
• Finding a men's group or support network can be transformational, especially in the transition to fatherhood
• Shifting priorities away from career and toward family requires intentional planning, not just good intentions
• Speaking to your child before birth — in Lucas's case, in Spanish — is a simple, powerful act of early connection
• Fatherhood, at its core, is a call to become the best version of yourself

If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com.

Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/

00:00 Intro & cold open
01:00 Meet Lucas Ferrer, expectant father at 25 weeks
02:10 A vascular surgeon's approach to pregnancy
03:03 Why "What to Expect" can do more harm than good
04:05 Presence and disconnection during the work day
05:12 Fatherhood as a call to your best self
06:01 Breaking unconscious patterns before the baby arrives
07:32 Growing up in Puerto Rico: family, memory, and roots
09:21 Fear culture and tall poppy syndrome
10:44 Gabor Maté: big T and little T trauma
11:19 Lucas's grandfather: a model of grounded masculinity
13:25 The qualities Lucas wants to carry into fatherhood
15:07 Unlearning fear and choosing adventure
17:01 Allowing failure as a father and mentor
18:48 How the pregnancy happened: intentional and unplanned
20:56 Biology, purpose, and something bigger at play
23:46 Witnessing Courtney's transformation
25:06 Being the rock: emotional steadiness under pressure
26:47 Inner work and patterns Lucas is actively breaking
28:40 Men's groups, community, and being supportable
33:05 Due date, wedding week, and planning for presence
36:56 Final words: fully present is the North Star

Tony sits down with Jay Bourgana — entrepreneur, turnaround consultant, and founder of the Raising Lions community — to explore a radically intentional approach to fatherhood. Jay shares how daily two-hour morning conversations with his 10 and 12-year-old children have become the engine behind one of the most active and engaged communities in the parenting podcast space. From lemonade stands to product-market fit, from ikigai to the theory of constraints, Jay packages adult-level wisdom into real, actionable experiences for kids — and for the dads raising them.

Key Takeaways:

• Why getting involved from day one of fatherhood is non-negotiable — and why you can't re-engage later if you disengage early
• How to teach children the three non-negotiables: health, wealth, and relationships — and why "wealth" isn't about money, it's about freedom
• The three types of capital every dad can transfer to his kids: financial, intellectual, and relational — and why relational capital matters most
• Why autonomy, mastery, and purpose (Daniel Pink's Drive) are the real motivators for children — and how to use them
• How to identify every child's natural "superpower" and channel it toward entrepreneurship and value creation
• Why small business ventures teach responsibility better than almost anything else — and how to sequence those lessons as kids grow
• The four business profiles kids fall into (leader, salesperson, product manager, systems manager) — and how knowing them builds teamwork and self-awareness
• How to build a kids' business school from scratch: goal-setting, conversion rates, product-market fit — explained to a 10-year-old
• Why dads must step into leadership the moment their child is born — not wait until the kid can "talk"
• The concept of raising value creators, not consumers — and why that distinction changes everything about how kids show up in the world

If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com.

Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/

00:00 Intro & Jay's opening lesson
01:37 About Jay's kids & Raising Lions
03:53 Morning rituals: 7–9am with the kids
06:11 Entrepreneurship: nature vs. nurture
08:51 Lemonade stands & creating incentives
10:33 Health, wealth & relationships framework
12:41 Packaging adult concepts for kids
14:49 Autonomy, mastery & purpose (Daniel Pink)
17:30 Responsibility earns freedom
19:58 Visualizing responsibility for kids
21:35 How quickly kids connect to purpose
23:20 Teaching cost of goods & unit economics
25:19 Product-market fit as a kids' lesson
27:15 From gross margin to capacity planning
30:00 Jay's background: Morocco to Morocco to M&A
35:03 The entrepreneur's real freedom
36:00 Three types of capital to pass down
38:18 Pour into kids early: beat the clock
40:41 Raising givers, not takers
42:01 Rethinking education post-Covid
44:00 Ikigai & finding a child's superpower
46:00 The four business profiles in kids
47:56 The kids' business school explained
51:00 Setting goals, conversion rates & action
54:53 What 30 years of entrepreneurship taught
56:11 Purpose as protection from trauma
58:18 Paper bills, grocery runs & real money
1:01:03 Advice for brand new dads
1:05:25 Wrap-up & how to find Jay

Tony sits down with Steven Fielding — father of two teenage sons, men's work facilitator, and someone who has done the deep interior work to understand how his past shaped his parenting. Steven opens up about growing up with an absent father, being sent to boarding school at 10, navigating divorce while keeping his boys at the center, and why intentional fatherhood starts long before your first child arrives.

Key Takeaways:

• Early hands-on involvement — diapering, feeding, swaddling — pays real dividends in your relationship with your kids years later
• The psychological imprint of childhood separation, including "boarding school syndrome," can follow men well into adulthood
• Teenage boys need a father who is stepping back strategically, not battling them — your job shifts from protecting to supporting
• It's never too late to take responsibility and apologize to your kids for moments you could have handled better
• Co-regulation and nervous system awareness are practical parenting tools, not just therapy concepts
• Men's work and brotherhood aren't just personal development — they make you a better father
• Devices and screen time are a real challenge; the answer isn't panic, it's redirecting focus to what you can control in your own household
• Separation and divorce don't end your job as an intentional father — how you show up after matters just as much
• Communicating your needs without neediness is a skill — and one worth developing before you're in crisis
• Start the interior work early. Create a list of intentions before you become a dad. Lead.

If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com.

Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/

• (00:00) - – Cold open: Boarding school
• (00:20) - – Tony introduces Stephen Fielding
• (01:22) - – Steven's two sons: Nick (18) and Max (16)
• (02:48) - – Fathering teenagers: patience and letting go
• (04:39) - – The men you want them to become
• (05:56) - – Being hands-on from day one
• (07:36) - – Growing up: absent father, affectionate mother
• (09:02) - – Sent to boarding school at age 10
• (11:07) - – The headmaster: most influential male figure
• (12:22) - – The lasting echo of homesickness
• (13:03) - – Bullying, standing up, and the lesson it taught
• (14:27) - – Boarding school syndrome
• (16:05) - – Men's work and the capacity for brotherhood
• (19:09) - – Leadership, giving what you want to receive
• (19:54) - – Did he always know he wanted to be a dad?
• (21:29) - – Nick's birth: capturing the first breath
• (23:57) - – The moment responsibility lands
• (25:08) - – Happiest Baby on the Block & swaddling
• (27:50) - – What shifted in his marriage after kids
• (29:44) - – No More Mr. Nice Guy and owning your patterns
• (31:29) - – Communicating needs without neediness
• (33:00) - – The Middle Passage and rediscovering your partner
• (34:30) - – The talcum powder story
• (36:47) - – The 30 minutes it took to settle Nick down
• (37:52) - – Breath work, nervous system, and co-regulation
• (38:45) - – Going back to apologize: it's never too late
• (39:49) - – His father's advice: always keep the family together
• (40:53) - – Advice to first-time dads
• (43:26) - – Start the interior work early. Be intentional.
• (44:16) - – Tony closes out with Steven

Daniel Ramsey is a husband, father of three, high school wrestling coach, and serial entrepreneur who has spent nearly two decades building an intentional family life from the ground up. Growing up with an absent, unintentional father, Daniel made a conscious choice to become something different — and the results speak for themselves. This is a raw, honest, and deeply practical conversation about what it really takes to show up for your kids.

Key Takeaways:

1. Time is an expression of love — your presence is the most meaningful gift you can give your children.
2. Your kids reveal your best and worst qualities; embrace what they mirror back at you.
3. Breaking generational cycles starts with recognizing the patterns you inherited from your own parents.
4. Love is a verb — it requires active, ongoing effort, not just feeling.
5. Annual one-on-one trips with each child create deep, lasting connection.
6. The family dinner ritual (High, Low, Buffalo) creates a protected space for daily connection.
7. Becoming a father exposes your selfishness — and that's the first step toward growth.
8. Choosing to do things for your family that don't serve your personal goals is where real growth lives.
9. Modeling vulnerability and learning in front of your kids builds trust and teaches resilience.
10. Unconditional love becomes real the moment you become a parent — and it changes everything.

If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com.

Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/

• (00:00) - Welcome to the Dad Manual Podcast
• (01:20) - Meet Daniel's Three Girls
• (03:35) - Qualities Kids Mirror Back at You
• (05:48) - Growing Up in Redding, California
• (08:44) - Childhood Instability & Its Impact
• (09:41) - Modeling Fatherhood After His Wrestling Coach
• (10:32) - Love Is a Verb — The Lesson That Changed Everything
• (12:04) - A Raw Moment: Learning Relationships Aren't Black and White
• (13:51) - Hot Tub Conversations with His Oldest
• (15:05) - Knowing When to Ask for Help
• (16:51) - The High, Low, Buffalo Dinner Ritual
• (19:00) - Annual One-on-One Trips with Each Daughter
• (25:00) - Advice for New Dads: You Are Selfish
• (30:00) - Unconditional Love — Before and After Kids
• (35:00) - The Family Ski Trip: Eight Years in the Making
• (40:00) - Choosing Jiu-Jitsu as a Family
• (44:00) - Failing in Front of Your Kids
• (47:16) - Outro

Tony sits down with Jason Wright — podcast host, girl dad, and self-described "nutty dad" — for a conversation about breaking generational cycles, building family traditions, and loving with reckless abandonment. Jason grew up in a home where love was conditional and performance-driven, yet made a conscious choice to parent completely differently. He shares the real and the raw: the stress he wore too tight, the heartbreaks he couldn't fix, and the nighttime rituals that shaped his daughters into the remarkable women they are today. This is a fatherhood podcast conversation that'll have you calling your kids the second it's over.

Key Takeaways:

• Speak to your children above their age level — treat them as capable and they'll rise to it
• Breaking generational cycles takes awareness and active, daily effort — awareness alone isn't enough
• Conditional love quietly programs children to believe they're not enough
• Family rituals and traditions create a "stickiness" that holds a family together through hard seasons
• Being a girl dad means modeling what a healthy relationship looks like — long before they date anyone
• Love your future son-in-law intentionally; pouring into him protects your daughter
• Wear your stress carefully — letting it steal your joy is one of the hardest fatherhood failures to recognize
• You can't take your kids' pain away, but you can be honest with them and stay present through it
• Never withhold love, even for a moment — especially when they feel least lovable
• The goal of raising kids is to wind up with incredible adults you want to spend time with

This is one for every dad who wants to show up better — today, tomorrow, and for generations to come.

If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com.

Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/

• (00:00) - Introduction & cold open
• (01:22) - What kind of dad is Jason Wright?
• (02:24) - Raising kids to become adults you love
• (03:05) - Life with adult daughters
• (04:55) - Introducing kids to music early
• (07:12) - Gen Z and the loss of cultural breadth
• (09:31) - Healing trauma instead of passing it on
• (10:17) - Jason's childhood: broken home, conditional love
• (13:55) - How generational patterns repeat
• (15:03) - The role of faith and Mrs. Wright
• (17:32) - Raising daughters who feel safe and worthy
• (19:55) - The wedding song — "Two Steps Behind"
• (20:45) - Rylan's upcoming wedding
• (22:00) - Loving your son-in-law intentionally
• (25:24) - The responsibility of being a girl dad
• (27:42) - The unexpected hard parts of fatherhood
• (29:28) - Handling a daughter's first heartbreak
• (31:37) - The unconditional love you didn't know you had
• (31:46) - Sharing a birthday with your daughter
• (33:14) - Family rituals and traditions that create culture
• (36:22) - Watching Father of the Bride every Father's Day
• (38:20) - Advice for brand-new dads
• (42:07) - Love them in the places they feel unlovable

Kevin Button is a father of three spanning 21 years in age, and one of Tony Cooper's closest friends in fatherhood. In this conversation, Kevin gets brutally honest about who he was as a young father — ego-driven, reactive, and repeating patterns he never consciously chose — and how a quiet moment with his 3-year-old son completely broke him open.

Kevin and Tony dig into the long game of raising kids: what changes between your first and third child, why the ego is the enemy of good fathering, and how becoming the dad you want to be is a daily, conscious act. They also talk about the rare gift of a trusted fatherhood community, the role of sports in building character, and why presence is the single greatest thing you can give a child.

This is the kind of real, unfiltered fatherhood podcast conversation that sticks with you — whether you're 10 minutes into the dad journey or 20 years deep.

Key Takeaways:

1. Your first child takes the brunt of who you were before you did the work — and that's a call to action, not a reason for guilt.
2. Emotion is a compass. When something doesn't feel right in how you're parenting, that discomfort is pointing you somewhere important.
3. The ego is one of the biggest obstacles to becoming a great father. Learning to put it down is a skill.
4. Children love unconditionally — and watching that play out in real time can be the most powerful catalyst for change.
5. Presence isn't passive. It's a disciplined, conscious effort — and it's worth more than any material thing you can give a child.
6. Parenting evolves across your kids. Who you were raising your first child is rarely who you are by the third.
7. Your kids are watching everything: how you carry yourself in public, how you treat your wife, how you handle conflict.
8. A community of aligned fathers is a rare and powerful thing. Other dads can become genuine co-parents when the values match.
9. Sports can build character or crush it — knowing when to protect your child from an environment that's gone wrong is just as important as pushing them toward competition.
10. The moment your adult child acknowledges you as a father is one of the most meaningful experiences of the journey — and it makes the hard years worth it.

If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com.

Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/

• (00:00) - Intro: Parenting requires constant shifting
• (01:32) - Meet Kevin Button & family overview
• (03:14) - Parenting across 21 years: the exhaustion and the joy
• (05:31) - Generational patterns & what gets passed down
• (06:36) - Kevin's childhood: divorce, stepfathers, and structure
• (08:17) - Growing up without a strong father figure
• (10:08) - What dads model in the small moments
• (12:26) - Trevor takes the brunt of young-dad mistakes
• (13:55) - The ego and the damage it does
• (15:36) - Neural pathways and reverting to what you know
• (17:04) - The garage meditation moment that changed everything
• (18:36) - A 3-year-old's "I love you" that broke Kevin open
• (20:35) - Kids love unconditionally — adults have to learn it
• (22:58) - Building a fatherhood village with the Coopers
• (24:01) - What aligned fatherhood friendships look like
• (27:00) - Other men as fatherhood influences
• (28:54) - Leo moves to North Carolina during COVID
• (31:21) - What it means to trust another dad with your son
• (32:47) - Sports philosophy: Trevor, basketball, and Waldorf
• (36:23) - Ryland's AAU journey and knowing when to walk away
• (40:34) - Shifting your approach between children
• (41:51) - Boys protecting their mother — and growing up
• (43:36) - The moment Trevor acknowledged Kevin as a father
• (44:52) - Advice for new dads: presence above all else
• (46:27) - Put the phone down. Slow time down.
• (47:09) - Wrapping up: Eckhart Tolle and the Power of Now

Dustin Shephard — mortgage professional, girl dad, and North Shore of Oahu native — joins Tony Cooper for a raw conversation about becoming a father young, raising three daughters across two very different seasons of life, and what it really means to evolve as a dad. Dustin shares how a difficult childhood became the fuel that drove him to be better, why surrounding yourself with the right people changes everything, and the honest mistakes he made pushing too hard — and what he learned from them.

Key Takeaways:

• There's no playbook for fatherhood — every dad is figuring it out as they go
• The anger or "chip on your shoulder" that drives you early on eventually needs to evolve into something healthier
• Your kids are always watching how you model work ethic, resilience, and getting back up
• Being a girl dad requires learning how to motivate differently than you might motivate yourself
• Community and tribe matter — the concept of ohana isn't just Hawaiian culture, it's a blueprint for fatherhood
• Full custody is a gift and a responsibility — Dustin's story of dropping everything to get Grace is a defining moment
• Each child gives you a new opportunity to grow — Dustin's approach to his youngest looks nothing like his approach to his eldest
• Social media consumption vs. creation is a conversation every parent needs to have with their kids
• Writing down your goals as a father — not just physical or financial goals — is a practice that changes your intentionality
• Vulnerability with your adult children isn't weakness; it's the bridge to a new kind of relationship

This is a fatherhood podcast for dads who want to do more than just get through the day — and Dustin delivers the kind of grounded, hard-won wisdom you'll actually want to write down.

If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com.

Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/

• (00:00) - – Intro: surround yourself with the right people
• (00:30) - – Tony introduces Dustin Shephard
• (01:45) - – Meet Dustin's three daughters
• (03:09) - – Finding out he was going to be a dad in Alaska
• (04:36) - – "Success is the only option" — the mindset shift
• (05:04) - – A different childhood: parents splitting, moving out at 15
• (06:30) - – The chip on the shoulder and where it came from
• (07:40) - – Abandonment, letting go, and understanding his parents
• (08:49) - – What he admired in his parents and what he chose to change
• (09:48) - – Dad's Vietnam service, trauma, and eventual transformation
• (10:06) - – A 78-year-old dad getting a second go — and thriving
• (11:43) - – Ohana: what Hawaii taught him about tribe and family
• (13:27) - – Bringing the ohana spirit into his kids' upbringing
• (14:40) - – Getting full custody of Grace — and not waiting
• (15:41) - – Extreme Ownership and pushing too hard in parenting
• (17:11) - – Learning to read the room: balancing guidance and freedom
• (17:36) - – Morning routines, modeling resilience, sharing highs and lows
• (20:06) - – Transitioning from parent to peer with adult kids
• (22:45) - – Letting your adult child tell you what they need
• (29:48) - – Social media: consumption vs. creation with your kids
• (33:49) - – Instilling values as the lens through which kids see the world
• (38:56) - – Advice for brand new dads: tribe, intentionality, writing it down
• (40:15) - – Tony closes out Round One with Dustin

Henry Poole — creative entrepreneur, father of two grown sons, and one of the most thoughtful men Tony Cooper knows — sits down for a deep, honest conversation about what it really means to parent with intention. From discovering the emotion of anger in his 40s to forgiving his father in a therapist's office before his first son was even born, Henry's path to conscious fatherhood is unlike anything you've heard before.

Key Takeaways:

• Kids learn from behavior, not words — if you tell them not to hit while hitting them, you've already lost the lesson
• Anger isn't a broken emotion — it's lightning, natural and necessary, and learning to express it honestly changed Henry's entire family dynamic
• Forgiving your own father before you become a father may be the single most powerful thing you can do
• Overcorrecting away from your parents' style can create its own set of problems — resilience requires some rough edges
• Coming from two very different cultural and religious backgrounds creates both conflict and extraordinary perspective
• The "strict father / nurturing mother" archetypes are deeper than we think — and when one partner shifts, the other often follows
• Seeing your child as frozen in a negative state of being actually generates that state — the way you see your child shapes who they become
• Unconditional love isn't just a feeling, it's a way of seeing — and it may be the most important gift a parent can give
• Being openly a work in progress in front of your kids gives them permission to be one too
• The goal isn't to raise perfect kids — it's to model the kind of growth they'll carry for the rest of their live

If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com.

Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/

• (00:00) - – Opening: parents are always growing
• (00:30) - – Tony introduces Henry Poole
• (00:56) - – Meet Henry's sons: Aiden and Oliver
• (01:34) - – World travel with an infant — and the "Ambassador"
• (03:43) - – How Henry stays present: mind over matter on a plane
• (05:15) - – Bicultural parents: Austrian mom, Oklahoman dad
• (05:44) - – A preacher's son who became an atheist
• (06:25) - – The challenge of different emotional cultures in one household
• (07:39) - – Is parenting disagreement a problem or a gift?
• (08:58) - – Learning about himself: NLP therapy and the anger discovery
• (10:33) - – Was anger missing from his house, or just hidden?
• (12:31) - – Anger coming out sideways — and how it showed up for the family
• (13:04) - – When Henry got angry, Maria stopped being angry
• (14:47) - – How Aiden experienced his dad's emotional shift
• (15:35) - – The mangled tree on 4th Street Berkeley
• (16:31) - – Both archetypes — strict and nurturing — need to be present
• (17:45) - – What Henry would do differently — and why it still worked out
• (18:29) - – Unconditional love and seeing your child as whole
• (21:27) - – Henry talked to Aiden about it in real time
• (22:28) - – Letting kids see you as a work in progress
• (23:29) - – Henry's father: strict, reserved, and deeply loving
• (26:47) - – Overcorrecting toward nurturing — and what it cost
• (27:07) - – Behaving like his father the moment Aiden was born
• (27:54) - – Generational trauma: the programming passes on until you break it
• (29:29) - – Forgiving his father in therapy — the single most impactful act
• (32:02) - – How fathers used to express love through toughening kids up
• (33:52) - – Closing advice: model behavior, not words
• (34:40) - – Tony closes out with Henry

Tony sits down with Mike Mendelson — a former high school teacher, devoted co-parent, and self-described "great dad" — for a wide-ranging conversation about raising capable, independent kids. Mike shares how teaching shaped his parenting philosophy, why the word "yet" is a game-changer, and what it really looks like to co-parent with purpose. From a near-miss mountain adventure to gut-punch moments with his son, Mike opens up about the wins, the mistakes, and the mindset shifts that have made him a better father.

Key Takeaways:

• The "growth mindset" (Carol Dweck's work) is one of the most powerful frameworks a dad can bring home from the classroom
• The word "yet" reframes limitation as a temporary state — and it changes everything for kids
• Co-parenting well requires treating the other parent as a business partner with a shared mission: the kids' wellbeing
• Having solo parenting time creates a kind of focused "full-on dad mode" that's hard to replicate otherwise
• A less risk-tolerant partner provides real safety value — autonomy in parenting has a trade-off
• "Parenting for independence" — modeled by Mike's own father — is about asking "how will you do this when I'm not here?"
• Wait time is a tactical, teachable skill: ask a question, be silent, and let the kid find the answer
• Breaking generational patterns starts with noticing the unconscious ones — like pushing a child past what's age-appropriate
• Confidence in your own way of dadding matters — no one else dads exactly like you

If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com.

Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/

• (00:00) - – Intro & cold open
• (01:08) - – Mike introduces himself as a dad and teacher
• (03:06) - – The word "can't" is banned — why mindset starts at home
• (05:15) - – Mike's family: co-parenting, cadence, and consistency
• (07:17) - – Co-parenting as a business partnership
• (08:13) - – The upside of solo parenting time — full focus, full autonomy
• (11:51) - – The risk trade-off: when no co-pilot is a double-edged sword
• (12:00) - – The mountain story: a near-miss and the lessons it left
• (15:01) - – Mistakes that change you as a parent
• (17:08) - – Mike's childhood: parents, New York roots, and a dad who built the internet
• (20:02) - – "Parenting for independence" — hands behind the back, figure it out
• (22:04) - – Helping vs. unlocking: how to give the smallest hint that opens the door
• (23:48) - – The always-on world and why presence is harder now than ever
• (25:10) - – Breaking generational patterns: catching yourself pushing too hard
• (29:31) - – Bringing play into fathering — kids learn through play
• (29:46) - – Gut-punch moment: "I didn't have as big a brain then, Dad"
• (31:00) - – The three cycles of childhood and what each phase needs from dad
• (35:38) - – Holding a stance as a dad without being locked in
• (36:06) - – Closing advice: wait time, trust your instincts, you've got this

Jeff Speer has been Tony's friend for 15 years, and this episode is one of the most honest, candid conversations The Dad Manual has had yet. Jeff opens up about becoming a father to twins right out of college during a recession, navigating the friction of two people with different upbringings raising kids together, and what it actually takes to build trust with your children over a lifetime. This is a fatherhood podcast conversation for any dad who's ever had to apologize and mean it.

Key Takeaways:

• Every kid is different — even identical twins need to be parented as individuals
• Leaning on your partner's strengths isn't weakness; it's smart parenting
• Being emotionally transparent with your kids models accountability
• The goal is to raise kids who act for themselves, not for your approval
• Conflict with your kids often reveals more about you than it does about them
• "Effective communicator" and "good talker" are not the same thing
• Letting go of control is a skill that takes years to develop
• Apologizing to your kids — and meaning it — matters more than pretending you're perfect
• Working hard and staying content are not opposites; Jeff's early years are proof
• Your relationship with your partner is the foundation everything else is built on

If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com.

Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/

Evan Miller is a husband, father of two, and someone who's learned the hard way that showing up isn't enough — you have to actually be there. In this conversation, Tony and Evan explore the difference between attendance and presence, navigating stepfatherhood, raising kids who can handle real conversations, and how sobriety transformed Evan's relationship with his family. Evan also unpacks a jaw-dropping family origin story involving a 23andMe test, a baseball player, and a secret that stayed buried for four decades.

Key Takeaways:

1. Presence and attendance are two completely different things — and your kids know the difference.
2. Stepparenting adds layers of complexity that two-parent households don't face — respect that reality.
3. Nature plays a massive role in who your children become, regardless of your parenting environment.
4. Unwavering love and support doesn't mean accepting bad behavior — it means the two are never confused.
5. Treating your kids like capable human beings, not fragile children, builds confident, articulate adults.
6. Alcohol and other disconnectors rob you of time you can't get back — even when you're in the room.
7. Patience isn't a natural gift — it's a skill you develop, and physical exercise helps more than you think.
8. Letting kids experience failure, discomfort, and hard conversations is part of the job.
9. Your kids don't need to be shielded from the world — they need to be prepared for it.
10. The way you model ambition, activity, and a full life is one of the most powerful parenting tools you have.

If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com.

Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/

Mike Knittel has lived through addiction, CPS intervention, family breakdown, and a long road to sobriety — and he's come out the other side as a father his kids actually call when they need help. In this raw and honest conversation, Mike shares the moments that broke him, the choices that rebuilt him, and the lessons every dad can take away regardless of where they are in their journey.

Key Takeaways:

• Sobriety fundamentally changed Mike's ability to be present — and presence matters more than perfection
• Kids are far more resilient than we give them credit for, but genuine apologies require open hands, not closed fists
• Self-forgiveness is the hardest work of all — and the most necessary
• Your kids don't need a perfect father. They need a real one
• Modelling vulnerability teaches your children it's safe to be vulnerable too
• Nature vs. nurture: Mike lands firmly on the side of nurture — how you show up matters
• The four pillars that supported Mike's recovery: community, faith, books, and radical honesty
• Parenting from anger never works — learning to step away is a skill worth developing
• The goal isn't just that your kids survive your parenting — it's that they choose to call you when they're hurting
• Sit on the floor. Play make-believe. Never underestimate imagination and Nerf guns.

This is one of those conversations that will stick with you — whether you're a new dad podcast listener discovering this show for the first time or a veteran father still doing the inner work.

If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com.

Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/

• (00:00) - Introduction & episode preview
• (00:37) - Meet Mike Knittel
• (00:49) - Mike's blended family & grandkids
• (01:46) - Nature vs. nurture — where Mike stands
• (03:15) - Sobriety and its impact on fatherhood
• (05:30) - Victimhood, resentment & forgiving his parents
• (07:09) - What life looked like before sobriety
• (08:57) - CPS, heroin, and hitting rock bottom
• (11:25) - How Mike began repairing with his kids
• (13:30) - The open-hand apology with his daughter Madison
• (16:13) - Control, anger, and character defects in parenting
• (18:49) - Self-forgiveness: the hardest and most necessary work
• (23:14) - The books that changed his perspective
• (25:55) - Reconnecting to the inner child through grandkids
• (26:24) - What shaped Mike's ideas about fatherhood growing up
• (28:16) - The birth of his firstborn, Gabe
• (32:07) - Raising his boys as a single dad with his brother
• (34:46) - The parenting moment that changed everything with his son
• (38:26) - Cassie's influence and open communication as a skill
• (41:20) - Memorable screw-ups and what he learned
• (43:51) - Parenting from anger — and learning not to
• (47:14) - What kids absorb when you're not trying to teach them
• (49:19) - Hopes for his adult children
• (51:27) - What Mike wants his kids to remember
• (52:13) - Advice for new dads: sit on the floor, bring the Nerf guns
• (54:36) - Final words and wrap-up

Shane Metcalf is a father who made a decision most dads never do: to do the deep inner work before the hard moments arrived. His daughter Ava is almost six, and Shane hasn't yelled at her once. Not because she's an easy kid — she's strong-willed, irrational, and negotiates like a seasoned attorney — but because Shane made an internal decision rooted in years of personal growth, therapy, and a clear-eyed look at the cycles he wanted to break.

In this conversation with host Tony Cooper, Shane opens up about growing up in a household full of verbal anger, what it took to consciously choose a different path, and how co-parenting after divorce can actually become one of the most powerful gifts you give your child. He shares the thought experiments he uses when frustration peaks, the philosophy behind gentle-but-boundaried parenting, and why roughhousing with your daughter matters just as much as with your son.

This is an honest, raw, and deeply practical conversation for any dad serious about showing up differently.

Key Takeaways:

1. The relationship you build with your child now — at 5 or 6 — directly shapes the trust they'll have in you at 16 and 36.
2. Your child's triggers are a mirror for your own unhealed wounds. That's the gift, not the inconvenience.
3. Yelling doesn't work. The Inuit understood it — when you raise your voice, kids stop listening and stop trusting.
4. Breaking generational cycles is one of the greatest things a father can do. Shane's dad broke physical abuse. Shane broke verbal anger.
5. Co-parenting done right — with shared values and mutual respect — can be one of the most functional family structures available.
6. Use the "last day" thought experiment: imagine this is your final day with your child, and watch how fast the frustration dissolves.
7. The "love bank" concept applies to your relationship with your partner just as much as with your kids — make more deposits than withdrawals.
8. Seven-year cycles shape child development. The next phase (7–14) is emotional — prepare for it intentionally.
9. Nature matters, but nurture is where you have power: attachment, physical play, repair, and actually listening to big feelings.
10. Roughhouse with your kids — boys and girls. Physical play is foundational for embodiment and connection.

If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com.

Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/

• (00:00) - Shane's opening moment of fatherhood
• (01:19) - Crushing it as a dad — Shane's honest take
• (03:06) - Building a lifelong friendship with your kid
• (04:36) - Parenting reveals your shadows
• (07:37) - Healthy masculinity vs. force and anger
• (08:53) - Revisiting childhood through your child
• (10:22) - Breaking the cycle: dental care and swimming
• (11:36) - Growing up with verbal abuse
• (12:31) - The internal decision to never yell
• (14:19) - Learning from the Inuit approach
• (16:26) - The relationship breakdown and co-parenting
• (18:22) - Rebuilding love and trust after divorce
• (20:17) - Intentional separation — a different approach
• (22:15) - The nesting model and the 2-2-5-5 schedule
• (25:19) - Relationship as a cauldron of transformation
• (28:34) - One-on-one time: co-parenting's hidden gift
• (30:14) - Loving a child into existence
• (32:18) - The "last day" thought experiment
• (35:57) - The next seven-year cycle: adding boundaries
• (39:11) - Nature vs. nurture and your child's true self
• (41:30) - Holding space while pushing comfort zones
• (43:14) - Roughhousing with girls — why it matters
• (45:35) - Kids are here to raise us
• (45:59) - Advice for new dads: worship the ground she walks on
• (47:22) - Don't let the marriage slip into sexlessness
• (48:17) - Trust the process, enjoy the ride

Tony Cooper sits down with Brad Barnes, a transformational trainer and dad-to-be at 12 weeks, for a conversation unlike any other on this fatherhood podcast. Brad shares the raw, unfiltered experience of stepping into fatherhood for the second time — carrying the grief of a pregnancy loss, the wisdom of a decade of personal growth, and a fierce commitment to showing up differently. This is fatherhood in real time, not in hindsight.

Key Takeaways:

• Choosing your partner is also choosing to become a dad — and that decision carries enormous weight
• Grief from pregnancy loss doesn't fully "heal," but it can become a source of meaning and forward motion
• The gap between who you are today and who you need to be as a father is something you can close — intentionally
• At 24, Brad exploded his life overnight when he found out he was going to be a dad. At 33, nothing needed to change. That's what a decade of inner work looks like.
• Generational patterns can't all be interrupted consciously — but the tools you carry into parenthood matter more than perfection
• The ego gets tested like nowhere else in fatherhood. Brad is already feeling it during his wife's pregnancy.
• "Better than my dad" is a ceiling, not a destination. Real growth means crafting the father you are meant to be.
• Vulnerability with your partner — especially about your fears around fatherhood — can open unexpected doors
• Giving yourself permission to fall, ask for support, and be a mess is not weakness. It's the foundation of conscious parenting.
• Fatherhood is the number one course on the planet. There's no way to do it right — and no way to not fail. That's the gift.

If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com.

Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/

• (00:00) - Brad's story begins
• (02:31) - Finding out they're expecting
• (04:23) - The first fear: grief from pregnancy loss
• (07:34) - The "angel baby" concept and healing
• (10:35) - Tony's own angel baby story
• (13:18) - What no one tells you about pregnancy loss
• (15:35) - The night they conceived — a vulnerable conversation
• (19:34) - Through the windshield, not the rearview mirror
• (20:23) - At 24 vs. 33: exploding your life or staying the course
• (24:51) - Financial fears and the gap from zero to two kids
• (27:05) - Brad's upbringing and relationship with his dad
• (33:29) - "Better than my dad" is a ceiling, not a destination
• (37:22) - Why interrupting every pattern is impossible — and that's OK
• (40:51) - Fatherhood is the number one course on the planet
• (44:02) - Staying present during the pregnancy
• (45:07) - Advice to himself: permission to fall
• (46:33) - The time capsule gift of documenting this journey

Key Takeaways:

1. Growing up with two extreme parenting models — one overly strict, one completely hands-off — can leave you without a template for the middle way.
2. Being a girl dad carries a specific responsibility: modeling what integrity and uprightness look like for young women navigating the world.
3. Anger in parenting often has deep roots — knowing where it comes from is the first step toward managing it.
4. Men's groups that do real, honest, challenging work are one of the most powerful tools available to fathers seeking to grow.
5. The family dinner table, when it's consistent, becomes one of the most underrated rituals in a child's sense of security.
6. Kids don't always need your attention on them — watching parents work together toward something meaningful is its own powerful form of modeling.
7. Regret can be reframed: time spent building something alongside your children, even when the focus isn't on them, has lasting value.
8. Direct, vulnerable conversations with your kids about how your behavior affects them are rare and important — and often overdue.
9. Personal growth work — workshops, transformational courses, self-reflection — compounds directly into better parenting over time.
10. The patterns we inherit aren't destiny. Awareness, community, and consistent small rituals are how we write new ones.

If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com.

Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/

Paul Crawford raised four children across two marriages and now brings grandfather wisdom to modern parenting challenges. From becoming a father at 29 while in grad school to navigating divorce, strained relationships, and ultimately reconnecting with his adult children, Paul shares raw insights about intergenerational trauma and conscious healing. This parenting podcast explores attachment theory, the critical importance of unconditional love, and how sometimes the best thing you can do for your kids is work on your relationship with your partner. Whether you're a new dad or navigating complex family dynamics, Paul's journey offers perspective on breaking bad patterns and passing on the good.

Key Takeaways:

• Intergenerational trauma works itself out through you as a parent
• The first two years establish whether children trust their caregivers
• Working on your partnership is one of the best things you can do for your kids
• Grandparenting offers a second chance to apply hard-won wisdom
• Breaking cycles requires awareness of both good and bad impulses
• Allowing kids to fail teaches resilience and problem-solving
• Reconnection with estranged children is possible through patience
• Managing emotions during conflict creates better outcomes than winning arguments
• The biological bond with grandchildren is powerful and immediate
• New fathers should embrace good impulses while staying aware of inherited trauma

If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com

Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/

• (00:00) - Introduction and Paul's background
• (02:07) - Becoming a dad at 29
• (03:38) - Divorce and co-parenting challenges
• (06:12) - When his son moved back in
• (12:38) - Getting remarried and blending families
• (18:25) - Tension between old and new families
• (22:14) - Letting kids fail builds resilience
• (28:42) - Managing conflict without winning
• (34:16) - Working on your partnership first
• (38:50) - Why the first two years matter
• (42:20) - Becoming a grandfather to twins
• (46:53) - Attachment theory and unconditional love
• (52:08) - Advice for brand new fathers
• (57:01) - Breaking cycles and passing on wisdom

Danny Cooper shares his raw, honest journey of raising his child Sari while navigating his wife Emily's decade-long battle with breast cancer that began when Sari was just three months old. From aggressive chemotherapy and stem cell transplants to ultimately losing Emily when Sari was 10, Danny had to step into both parental roles while dealing with his own grief. Years later, Sari came out as transgender, transitioning from female to male at age 26. Danny opens up about the emotional complexity of celebrating his child's happiness while grieving the daughter he thought he had, and what it means to reprogram yourself as a father when your child's identity shifts. This conversation explores resilience, unconditional love, and showing up for your kids no matter what life brings.

Key Takeaways:

• How to be present for your child during a partner's terminal illness
• Balancing work demands with being there for critical family moments
• Teaching kids self-reliance while providing unwavering support
• Processing grief as a parent while keeping your child stable
• Supporting a child through gender transition as an adult
• The psychological process of accepting your child's new identity
• Creating safety and unconditional love in single parenting
• Instilling values like empathy, work ethic, and kindness through adversity
• Why being hands-on from birth matters for long-term connection
• Choosing your child over work when it truly matters

If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com.

Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/

• (00:00) - - Introduction
• (01:35) - - Meeting Sari and early parenthood
• (03:45) - - Emily's breast cancer diagnosis
• (07:20) - - Aggressive treatments and survival
• (11:45) - - Being a dad during medical crisis
• (15:30) - - Emily's passing when Sari was 10
• (19:15) - - Single fatherhood and stepping up
• (23:40) - - Sari's gender transition at 26
• (27:50) - - Grieving the daughter you thought you had
• (32:10) - - Becoming a boy dad unexpectedly
• (36:25) - - Values and principles for raising kids
• (40:15) - - Hopes and dreams for Sari's future
• (43:50) - - Advice for brand new fathers

Michael Guidotti shares his journey raising 13-year-old Donovan, a remarkable young man who chooses family time over friends and stands firm when his character gets attacked. From sports bonding and travel adventures to navigating split households and teenage development, Michael reveals how authentic parenting means paving your own path while staying open to feedback. This fatherhood podcast explores the beautiful complexity of watching your child develop their identity while seeing yourself reflected in their choices.

Key Takeaways: 

• Start becoming a parent before the baby arrives
• Kids mirror our behaviors more than we realize
• Character matters more than popularity to some teens
• Family-oriented values can emerge naturally in children
• Teenage identity development requires support, not control
• Sports create powerful bonding opportunities between fathers and sons
• Split households can still raise well-adjusted, family-focused kids
• Confidence in your parenting path is essential
• Mistakes are inevitable and valuable in the parenting journey
• Character attacks hurt deeply when integrity matters to your child

If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com.

Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/

Diego Kuri's life shifted the moment he discovered he was becoming a father. From addressing his relationship with alcohol to breaking cycles of rage and anxiety, Diego shares how fatherhood pushed him toward becoming his best self. Now co-parenting two strong-willed boys in Miami, he's navigating the balance between nature and nurture, breaking generational patterns, and creating a legacy of presence and unconditional love. This conversation explores the inner work required to show up authentically for your children.

Key Takeaways:

• Discovering fatherhood can trigger immediate personal transformation
• Leading by example is the most powerful parenting tool
• Breaking generational trauma is the greatest legacy we can leave
• Co-parenting requires flexibility, communication, and shared values
• Strong personalities in children reflect opportunities for self-awareness
• Inner work before crisis prevents future disconnection with kids
• Nature shapes who children are, but values guide how they navigate life
• Presence and unconditional love matter more than perfection
• Small moments of joy often become the most treasured memories
• Starting therapy or self-work early creates healthier parent-child relationships

If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com.

Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/

Guy Sengstock, co-founder of Circling and dialogical practices expert, joins me to explore the implicit nature of fatherhood. With a 22-year-old son and a 4-year-old, Guy shares raw insights on the wonder of witnessing consciousness emerge, the profound regret of signing away proximity to his eldest, and why aggression needs socialization, not suppression. We discuss how fathers teach most powerfully when they're not trying, the cosmological significance of rough-and-tumble play, and what it means to midwife young beings into self-awareness.

Key Takeaways:

• Why parenting happens most powerfully in implicit, unplanned moments
• The respect and otherness experienced during childbirth
• How physical play socializes healthy masculine aggression
• The deep regret of allowing distance from your child
• What it means to be present with wonder as a father
• How perspective becomes a father's greatest gift
• Why ending generational trauma matters more than legacy
• The importance of being fully present at birth and beyond

If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com.

Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/

Key Takeaways:

• How Love & Logic consequences with empathy shaped parenting decisions
• Understanding your child's biological game style reduces conflict
• Girl dads experience unexpected fulfillment in father-daughter relationships
• Supporting the mother is the primary job for new fathers
• You don't need all the answers right now—solve one problem at a time
• Being present at every event matters more than you realize
• Different game styles require different parenting approaches
• Sleep deprivation is the first problem to solve together
• Your job transitions from provider to supporter as kids grow
• The joy in their accomplishments surpasses any personal achievement

If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com.

Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/

Key Takeaways:

• Create a parenting vision statement with your partner before your child arrives
• Model the ability to apologize when your attempts at humor or discipline don't land well
• Ask yourself "What would I have wanted at this age?" to guide your parenting decisions
• Focus on 1,000 short conversations rather than a few long, heavy talks
• Heal your own childhood wounds before trying to instill values you don't embody yourself
• Use playful teasing strategically to build resilience and humor in your children
• Practice listening more than talking and asking open-ended questions
• Allow children to express emotions without needing to categorize or justify them
• Take care of yourself first so you can better care for your family
• Remember that parenting is learn-as-you-go; you don't need all the answers upfront

If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, leave us a rating on your podcast app! If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to thedadmanual@gmail.com.

Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/

Rodrigo Lagos shares his transformation into a sports dad and how driving his 16-year-old daughter Willow to volleyball created unexpected moments of connection. He discusses navigating the teenage years with authenticity, supporting his son Drake's passion for archery and robotics, and why vulnerability strengthens father-child relationships. This parenting podcast explores the power of family rituals, from their annual Lago Summer Kickoff Event to holiday cooking traditions, and offers wisdom on building resilience through consistent care.

Key Takeaways:

• Sports involvement creates natural conversation opportunities with teenagers
• Kids are more resilient than we think when we show up for them
• Family rituals evolve as children grow and contribute their own ideas
• Vulnerability and apologizing to your kids builds deeper trust
• Opening up to your children happens earlier than most fathers expect
• Screen-free time in the car offers valuable connection windows
• Physical exhaustion after sports helps kids be more present
• Letting kids participate fully in family life teaches ownership

If you enjoyed The Dad Manual, please like and subscribe. If you loved it, share this episode with a Dad! Send your questions to dadmanualpodcast@gmail.com.

Connect with Tony Cooper: https://www.linkedin.com/in/thetonycooper/