Raising Men Transistor (https://transistor.fm) https://feeds.transistor.fm/raising-men Raising Men is a podcast about parenting, masculinity, and the lifelong journey of raising sons—and ourselves—to be men of courage, character, and purpose. Hosted by Shaun Dawson, each episode features real conversations with parents, leaders, and thinkers redefining what it means to raising men in today’s world. © 2026 Shaun Dawson 6813d020-2f31-5c20-8fdb-65b2e2ccafe7 no Trailer en Mon, 18 May 2026 06:00:57 -0700 Mon, 18 May 2026 06:01:50 -0700 https://raising.men/ https://img.transistorcdn.com/AA1qLtnGePiL5bPoKQQnsVNbu7zBfOtUeIYgu4z0jZU/rs:fill:0:0:1/w:1400/h:1400/q:60/mb:500000/aHR0cHM6Ly9pbWct/dXBsb2FkLXByb2R1/Y3Rpb24udHJhbnNp/c3Rvci5mbS9mZmQ1/ZGM3MjJkNTdmODY0/MjE0MmYyYWQzMDE0/ZDhiMi5wbmc.jpg Raising Men https://raising.men/ episodic Shaun Dawson Raising Men is a podcast about parenting, masculinity, and the lifelong journey of raising sons—and ourselves—to be men of courage, character, and purpose. Hosted by Shaun Dawson, each episode features real conversations with parents, leaders, and thinkers redefining what it means to raising men in today’s world. Raising Men is a podcast about parenting, masculinity, and the lifelong journey of raising sons—and ourselves—to be men of courage, character, and purpose. parenting, raising boys, fatherhood Shaun Dawson podcast@raising.men No No The Gap Between Ideal and Reality with Jordan Ritter Conn 37 37 The Gap Between Ideal and Reality with Jordan Ritter Conn full 18886eb1-def0-4062-a7f1-f7e9ba75e3cc https://share.transistor.fm/s/5a53c9b2 This episode of Raising Men features an intimate deep dive with Jordan Ritter Conn, a senior staff writer at The Ringer and author of the groundbreaking 2026 book, American Men. After spending five years embedded in the lives of four vastly different men, Jordan discusses the "missing roadmap" of modern masculinity and the internal struggle men face when they fail to meet inherited ideals.


1. Key Topics Covered

  • The "Masculinity Crisis" vs. The Reality Gap: Discussion on how men don’t necessarily lack a "roadmap," but rather struggle with the internal "gap" between the cultural ideal of a man and their actual lived experience.
  • The Provider/Protector Obsession: A look at the "Joseph" vignette—how a simple car engine rattle can spiral into a man’s feeling of total inadequacy as a protector. This aligns with data showing 86% of U.S. men believe being a "provider" is a defining trait of manhood.
  • The Myth of Male Emotional Silence: Jordan rejects the idea that men are unwilling or unable to talk about feelings; instead, he argues they lack "safe spaces" free from judgment or social repercussions.
  • The "Weight" of Raising Sons: Both Shawn and Jordan share the immediate "weight" felt at the birth of their sons—a unique responsibility to prepare them for a world where traditional rites of passage have vanished.
  • The Performance of Success: Exploring "Gideon," the star athlete and West Point graduate who felt like a "trophy," illustrating how even those who "typify the ideal" still face profound internal insecurities.


The difficulty arises when they're confronted with the ways that they don't feel like they're living up to the ideal that they're holding in their own heads.


We need to be given like kind of a permission structure for opening up because we do kind of inherit these messages that showing any kind of vulnerability... is showing weakness.


Ultimately I think what kind of defines our relationship to masculinity is how we kind of navigate that failure [to live up to the standard].


00:00 - Hidden Knowledge: Seeing Childhood Through Your Son
01:12 - Meet Jordan Ritter Conn: Author of "American Men" 
02:19 - Why Five Years? The Motivation Behind Immersive Journalism
05:54 - The Myth of Silence: Why Men Actually Crave Deep Connection
09:10 - Joseph’s Story: The Engine Rattle and the Protector Complex
14:12 - The Masculinity Gap: Navigating the Failure to Meet the Ideal
16:35 - The Weight of Fatherhood: Jordan’s Personal Shift
20:43 - The Missing Roadmap: Rebuilding Modern Rites of Passage
24:42 - Adolescent Power: The "Semi-Truck vs. Miata" Experience
30:49 - Legacy & Upbringing: How Fathers Shaped the Men’s Struggles
41:25 - The Radical Act of Being Known: Sharing the Stories Back
44:05 - The Final Principle: Empathy, Curiosity, and the Gift of Being Seen

Books, Tools, and Websites Mentioned

  • American Men: Stories of Modern Masculinity: Jordan Ritter Conn’s latest book (Hachette Book Group, 2026). https://jordanritterconn.com/
  • The Ringer: The sports and culture outlet where Jordan serves as a senior staff writer.

Connect with the Guest

]]> This episode of Raising Men features an intimate deep dive with Jordan Ritter Conn, a senior staff writer at The Ringer and author of the groundbreaking 2026 book, American Men. After spending five years embedded in the lives of four vastly different men, Jordan discusses the "missing roadmap" of modern masculinity and the internal struggle men face when they fail to meet inherited ideals.


1. Key Topics Covered

  • The "Masculinity Crisis" vs. The Reality Gap: Discussion on how men don’t necessarily lack a "roadmap," but rather struggle with the internal "gap" between the cultural ideal of a man and their actual lived experience.
  • The Provider/Protector Obsession: A look at the "Joseph" vignette—how a simple car engine rattle can spiral into a man’s feeling of total inadequacy as a protector. This aligns with data showing 86% of U.S. men believe being a "provider" is a defining trait of manhood.
  • The Myth of Male Emotional Silence: Jordan rejects the idea that men are unwilling or unable to talk about feelings; instead, he argues they lack "safe spaces" free from judgment or social repercussions.
  • The "Weight" of Raising Sons: Both Shawn and Jordan share the immediate "weight" felt at the birth of their sons—a unique responsibility to prepare them for a world where traditional rites of passage have vanished.
  • The Performance of Success: Exploring "Gideon," the star athlete and West Point graduate who felt like a "trophy," illustrating how even those who "typify the ideal" still face profound internal insecurities.


The difficulty arises when they're confronted with the ways that they don't feel like they're living up to the ideal that they're holding in their own heads.


We need to be given like kind of a permission structure for opening up because we do kind of inherit these messages that showing any kind of vulnerability... is showing weakness.


Ultimately I think what kind of defines our relationship to masculinity is how we kind of navigate that failure [to live up to the standard].


00:00 - Hidden Knowledge: Seeing Childhood Through Your Son
01:12 - Meet Jordan Ritter Conn: Author of "American Men" 
02:19 - Why Five Years? The Motivation Behind Immersive Journalism
05:54 - The Myth of Silence: Why Men Actually Crave Deep Connection
09:10 - Joseph’s Story: The Engine Rattle and the Protector Complex
14:12 - The Masculinity Gap: Navigating the Failure to Meet the Ideal
16:35 - The Weight of Fatherhood: Jordan’s Personal Shift
20:43 - The Missing Roadmap: Rebuilding Modern Rites of Passage
24:42 - Adolescent Power: The "Semi-Truck vs. Miata" Experience
30:49 - Legacy & Upbringing: How Fathers Shaped the Men’s Struggles
41:25 - The Radical Act of Being Known: Sharing the Stories Back
44:05 - The Final Principle: Empathy, Curiosity, and the Gift of Being Seen

Books, Tools, and Websites Mentioned

  • American Men: Stories of Modern Masculinity: Jordan Ritter Conn’s latest book (Hachette Book Group, 2026). https://jordanritterconn.com/
  • The Ringer: The sports and culture outlet where Jordan serves as a senior staff writer.

Connect with the Guest

]]> Mon, 18 May 2026 06:00:00 -0700 Shaun Dawson Shaun Dawson 2906 This episode of Raising Men features an intimate deep dive with Jordan Ritter Conn, a senior staff writer at The Ringer and author of the groundbreaking 2026 book, American Men. After spending five years embedded in the lives of four vastly different men, Jordan discusses the "missing roadmap" of modern masculinity and the internal struggle men face when they fail to meet inherited ideals.


1. Key Topics Covered

  • The "Masculinity Crisis" vs. The Reality Gap: Discussion on how men don’t necessarily lack a "roadmap," but rather struggle with the internal "gap" between the cultural ideal of a man and their actual lived experience.
  • The Provider/Protector Obsession: A look at the "Joseph" vignette—how a simple car engine rattle can spiral into a man’s feeling of total inadequacy as a protector. This aligns with data showing 86% of U.S. men believe being a "provider" is a defining trait of manhood.
  • The Myth of Male Emotional Silence: Jordan rejects the idea that men are unwilling or unable to talk about feelings; instead, he argues they lack "safe spaces" free from judgment or social repercussions.
  • The "Weight" of Raising Sons: Both Shawn and Jordan share the immediate "weight" felt at the birth of their sons—a unique responsibility to prepare them for a world where traditional rites of passage have vanished.
  • The Performance of Success: Exploring "Gideon," the star athlete and West Point graduate who felt like a "trophy," illustrating how even those who "typify the ideal" still face profound internal insecurities.


The difficulty arises when they're confronted with the ways that they don't feel like they're living up to the ideal that they're holding in their own heads.


We need to be given like kind of a permission structure for opening up because we do kind of inherit these messages that showing any kind of vulnerability... is showing weakness.


Ultimately I think what kind of defines our relationship to masculinity is how we kind of navigate that failure [to live up to the standard].


00:00 - Hidden Knowledge: Seeing Childhood Through Your Son
01:12 - Meet Jordan Ritter Conn: Author of "American Men" 
02:19 - Why Five Years? The Motivation Behind Immersive Journalism
05:54 - The Myth of Silence: Why Men Actually Crave Deep Connection
09:10 - Joseph’s Story: The Engine Rattle and the Protector Complex
14:12 - The Masculinity Gap: Navigating the Failure to Meet the Ideal
16:35 - The Weight of Fatherhood: Jordan’s Personal Shift
20:43 - The Missing Roadmap: Rebuilding Modern Rites of Passage
24:42 - Adolescent Power: The "Semi-Truck vs. Miata" Experience
30:49 - Legacy & Upbringing: How Fathers Shaped the Men’s Struggles
41:25 - The Radical Act of Being Known: Sharing the Stories Back
44:05 - The Final Principle: Empathy, Curiosity, and the Gift of Being Seen

Books, Tools, and Websites Mentioned

  • American Men: Stories of Modern Masculinity: Jordan Ritter Conn’s latest book (Hachette Book Group, 2026). https://jordanritterconn.com/
  • The Ringer: The sports and culture outlet where Jordan serves as a senior staff writer.

Connect with the Guest

]]> parenting, raising boys, fatherhood No Q&A: The Refining Fire of Fatherhood 36 36 Q&A: The Refining Fire of Fatherhood full 8732939b-cad8-4780-8474-fc5ba864d7ff https://share.transistor.fm/s/c38b9849 This episode dives into the "refining fire" of parenting, where Shaun Dawson explores the collective wisdom of past guests to answer two heavy-hitting listener questions about balancing strength with warmth and navigating the silent guilt of new fatherhood.

Questions:

  1. "I want my son to be resilient, but I don't want to be a 'cold' dad. How do I provide comfort without making him 'soft'?"
  2. "I’m a new dad and I’m struggling to feel that 'instant connection' everyone talks about. I feel guilty, like I'm failing already. Is something wrong with me?"

Key Topics Covered

  • The Myth of the Lone Wolf: Deconstructing the cultural idea that resilience requires being cold, silent, or unfeeling.
  • The Castle and Drawbridge Metaphor: Redefining a father's role as a "safe castle" where heart-level connection acts as the drawbridge, allowing sons to explore and return for restoration.
  • Conan Brain vs. Sherlock Brain: Navigating the struggle between the reactive, survival-based "Conan" brain and the observant, analytical "Sherlock" brain.
  • Paternal Bonding Timelines: Addressing the biological reality that for many men, the "oxytocin hit" of bonding often peaks later (3–6 months) than it does for mothers.
  • The "Redo" and Presence: Shifting focus from perfection to presence (the absence of distractions and performance) and using mistakes as opportunities for a "redo."

00:00 - Introduction: Raising Ourselves to Raise Our Sons
01:15 - The Refining Fire of Fatherhood
02:30 - Q&A: Balancing Strength and Warmth
03:45 - Breaking the Cycle of "Man Up" Culture
05:00 - The Castle and Drawbridge Metaphor
06:30 - Navigating the Nervous System: Conan vs. Sherlock
07:45 - Q&A: Addressing the Silent Guilt of New Dads
09:15 - The Reality of Paternal Bonding Timelines
10:30 - The Power of the "Redo" and True Presence
12:00 - Key Resources: Internal Weather Reports
13:30 - Episode Summary and Guest Credits
14:15 - Principle: Fatherhood is a Mirror

Featured Guests

]]> This episode dives into the "refining fire" of parenting, where Shaun Dawson explores the collective wisdom of past guests to answer two heavy-hitting listener questions about balancing strength with warmth and navigating the silent guilt of new fatherhood.

Questions:

  1. "I want my son to be resilient, but I don't want to be a 'cold' dad. How do I provide comfort without making him 'soft'?"
  2. "I’m a new dad and I’m struggling to feel that 'instant connection' everyone talks about. I feel guilty, like I'm failing already. Is something wrong with me?"

Key Topics Covered

  • The Myth of the Lone Wolf: Deconstructing the cultural idea that resilience requires being cold, silent, or unfeeling.
  • The Castle and Drawbridge Metaphor: Redefining a father's role as a "safe castle" where heart-level connection acts as the drawbridge, allowing sons to explore and return for restoration.
  • Conan Brain vs. Sherlock Brain: Navigating the struggle between the reactive, survival-based "Conan" brain and the observant, analytical "Sherlock" brain.
  • Paternal Bonding Timelines: Addressing the biological reality that for many men, the "oxytocin hit" of bonding often peaks later (3–6 months) than it does for mothers.
  • The "Redo" and Presence: Shifting focus from perfection to presence (the absence of distractions and performance) and using mistakes as opportunities for a "redo."

00:00 - Introduction: Raising Ourselves to Raise Our Sons
01:15 - The Refining Fire of Fatherhood
02:30 - Q&A: Balancing Strength and Warmth
03:45 - Breaking the Cycle of "Man Up" Culture
05:00 - The Castle and Drawbridge Metaphor
06:30 - Navigating the Nervous System: Conan vs. Sherlock
07:45 - Q&A: Addressing the Silent Guilt of New Dads
09:15 - The Reality of Paternal Bonding Timelines
10:30 - The Power of the "Redo" and True Presence
12:00 - Key Resources: Internal Weather Reports
13:30 - Episode Summary and Guest Credits
14:15 - Principle: Fatherhood is a Mirror

Featured Guests

]]> Thu, 14 May 2026 06:00:00 -0700 Shaun Dawson Shaun Dawson 869 This episode dives into the "refining fire" of parenting, where Shaun Dawson explores the collective wisdom of past guests to answer two heavy-hitting listener questions about balancing strength with warmth and navigating the silent guilt of new fatherhood.

Questions:

  1. "I want my son to be resilient, but I don't want to be a 'cold' dad. How do I provide comfort without making him 'soft'?"
  2. "I’m a new dad and I’m struggling to feel that 'instant connection' everyone talks about. I feel guilty, like I'm failing already. Is something wrong with me?"

Key Topics Covered

  • The Myth of the Lone Wolf: Deconstructing the cultural idea that resilience requires being cold, silent, or unfeeling.
  • The Castle and Drawbridge Metaphor: Redefining a father's role as a "safe castle" where heart-level connection acts as the drawbridge, allowing sons to explore and return for restoration.
  • Conan Brain vs. Sherlock Brain: Navigating the struggle between the reactive, survival-based "Conan" brain and the observant, analytical "Sherlock" brain.
  • Paternal Bonding Timelines: Addressing the biological reality that for many men, the "oxytocin hit" of bonding often peaks later (3–6 months) than it does for mothers.
  • The "Redo" and Presence: Shifting focus from perfection to presence (the absence of distractions and performance) and using mistakes as opportunities for a "redo."

00:00 - Introduction: Raising Ourselves to Raise Our Sons
01:15 - The Refining Fire of Fatherhood
02:30 - Q&A: Balancing Strength and Warmth
03:45 - Breaking the Cycle of "Man Up" Culture
05:00 - The Castle and Drawbridge Metaphor
06:30 - Navigating the Nervous System: Conan vs. Sherlock
07:45 - Q&A: Addressing the Silent Guilt of New Dads
09:15 - The Reality of Paternal Bonding Timelines
10:30 - The Power of the "Redo" and True Presence
12:00 - Key Resources: Internal Weather Reports
13:30 - Episode Summary and Guest Credits
14:15 - Principle: Fatherhood is a Mirror

Featured Guests

]]> parenting, raising boys, fatherhood No The Wild and Tender Work of Fatherhood with Dan Doty 35 35 The Wild and Tender Work of Fatherhood with Dan Doty full 936cb599-93e9-4b87-91d8-af0702a10c9d https://share.transistor.fm/s/47d9d748 In a culture that has "clear-cut" the traditional forests of masculinity, 40% of young men now report having no one to turn to for guidance. We are navigating a landscape where traditional rites of passage have vanished, leaving parents to choose between "toxic" archetypes or the empty alternative of no masculinity at all.

In this episode, Shaun sits down with Dan Doty, a pioneer in men’s development and leadership with over 20 years of experience in wilderness therapy and emotional intelligence. Dan breaks down why we are facing a crisis of "arrested development" in men and provides a practical roadmap for parents to cultivate "old growth" maturity in their sons—balancing fierce strength with radical heart.

Key Topics Covered

  • The Erosion of Rites of Passage: How the disappearance of the church, Scouts, and civic institutions has left a vacuum in the transition from boyhood to manhood.

  • The Function of Initiation: Defining initiation not as a "toughness test," but as a mechanism to give a boy his place within a value-aligned, intact community.

  • The "Old Growth" vs. "Clear-Cut" Man: A metaphor for modern masculinity—where we lack the deep-rooted, mature mentors (old growth) needed to provide shade and wisdom for the next generation.

  • Arrested Development: The reality that without intentional growth, many men remain emotionally and spiritually undeveloped well into adulthood.

  • The Integration of Masculinity: Moving beyond the "man box" to a model that balances traditional strength and wilderness skills with heart-based communication.

"Traditionally there's no such thing as an initiation without an intact community."


"We have a society that is fundamentally full of undeveloped and immature men, point-blank."


"I've been kicking the shit out of that [man] box for two decades... Let's make a bigger box because this one sucks."


00:00 - Introduction: Meet Dan Doty
02:46 - Dan’s Journey: From Wilderness Therapy to MeatEater
05:32 - Beyond the "Man Box": Creating a Bigger Definition of Masculinity
09:15 - Old Growth vs. Clear-Cut: The Metaphor for Modern Men
13:40 - The Disappearance of Traditional Rites of Passage
18:55 - What is Initiation? Community, Belonging, and Purpose
24:10 - Solving the Crisis of "Arrested Development"
28:45 - The Parent’s Dilemma: Balancing Strength and Softness
33:20 - Dan’s 6-Month Leadership & Facilitation Program
37:15 - Raising Strong Boys: Navigating Modern Cultural Challenges
41:30 - Digital Landscapes and the Search for Real Connection
44:50 - The Final Principle: Surrounding Your Sons with Mature Men


Books, Tools, and Websites Mentioned

  • Dan’s primary platform for leadership training and fatherhood coaching. https://www.dandoty.com/
  • Dan’s specialized work focusing on expecting fathers. https://www.fatherhoodready.com/
  • Raising Strong Boys: Dan’s online course designed for parents of sons.
  • Richard Reeves: Referenced for his research on the systemic challenges facing modern boys and men.


]]> In a culture that has "clear-cut" the traditional forests of masculinity, 40% of young men now report having no one to turn to for guidance. We are navigating a landscape where traditional rites of passage have vanished, leaving parents to choose between "toxic" archetypes or the empty alternative of no masculinity at all.

In this episode, Shaun sits down with Dan Doty, a pioneer in men’s development and leadership with over 20 years of experience in wilderness therapy and emotional intelligence. Dan breaks down why we are facing a crisis of "arrested development" in men and provides a practical roadmap for parents to cultivate "old growth" maturity in their sons—balancing fierce strength with radical heart.

Key Topics Covered

  • The Erosion of Rites of Passage: How the disappearance of the church, Scouts, and civic institutions has left a vacuum in the transition from boyhood to manhood.

  • The Function of Initiation: Defining initiation not as a "toughness test," but as a mechanism to give a boy his place within a value-aligned, intact community.

  • The "Old Growth" vs. "Clear-Cut" Man: A metaphor for modern masculinity—where we lack the deep-rooted, mature mentors (old growth) needed to provide shade and wisdom for the next generation.

  • Arrested Development: The reality that without intentional growth, many men remain emotionally and spiritually undeveloped well into adulthood.

  • The Integration of Masculinity: Moving beyond the "man box" to a model that balances traditional strength and wilderness skills with heart-based communication.

"Traditionally there's no such thing as an initiation without an intact community."


"We have a society that is fundamentally full of undeveloped and immature men, point-blank."


"I've been kicking the shit out of that [man] box for two decades... Let's make a bigger box because this one sucks."


00:00 - Introduction: Meet Dan Doty
02:46 - Dan’s Journey: From Wilderness Therapy to MeatEater
05:32 - Beyond the "Man Box": Creating a Bigger Definition of Masculinity
09:15 - Old Growth vs. Clear-Cut: The Metaphor for Modern Men
13:40 - The Disappearance of Traditional Rites of Passage
18:55 - What is Initiation? Community, Belonging, and Purpose
24:10 - Solving the Crisis of "Arrested Development"
28:45 - The Parent’s Dilemma: Balancing Strength and Softness
33:20 - Dan’s 6-Month Leadership & Facilitation Program
37:15 - Raising Strong Boys: Navigating Modern Cultural Challenges
41:30 - Digital Landscapes and the Search for Real Connection
44:50 - The Final Principle: Surrounding Your Sons with Mature Men


Books, Tools, and Websites Mentioned

  • Dan’s primary platform for leadership training and fatherhood coaching. https://www.dandoty.com/
  • Dan’s specialized work focusing on expecting fathers. https://www.fatherhoodready.com/
  • Raising Strong Boys: Dan’s online course designed for parents of sons.
  • Richard Reeves: Referenced for his research on the systemic challenges facing modern boys and men.


]]> Mon, 11 May 2026 06:00:00 -0700 Shaun Dawson Shaun Dawson 2259 In a culture that has "clear-cut" the traditional forests of masculinity, 40% of young men now report having no one to turn to for guidance. We are navigating a landscape where traditional rites of passage have vanished, leaving parents to choose between "toxic" archetypes or the empty alternative of no masculinity at all.

In this episode, Shaun sits down with Dan Doty, a pioneer in men’s development and leadership with over 20 years of experience in wilderness therapy and emotional intelligence. Dan breaks down why we are facing a crisis of "arrested development" in men and provides a practical roadmap for parents to cultivate "old growth" maturity in their sons—balancing fierce strength with radical heart.

Key Topics Covered

  • The Erosion of Rites of Passage: How the disappearance of the church, Scouts, and civic institutions has left a vacuum in the transition from boyhood to manhood.

  • The Function of Initiation: Defining initiation not as a "toughness test," but as a mechanism to give a boy his place within a value-aligned, intact community.

  • The "Old Growth" vs. "Clear-Cut" Man: A metaphor for modern masculinity—where we lack the deep-rooted, mature mentors (old growth) needed to provide shade and wisdom for the next generation.

  • Arrested Development: The reality that without intentional growth, many men remain emotionally and spiritually undeveloped well into adulthood.

  • The Integration of Masculinity: Moving beyond the "man box" to a model that balances traditional strength and wilderness skills with heart-based communication.

"Traditionally there's no such thing as an initiation without an intact community."


"We have a society that is fundamentally full of undeveloped and immature men, point-blank."


"I've been kicking the shit out of that [man] box for two decades... Let's make a bigger box because this one sucks."


00:00 - Introduction: Meet Dan Doty
02:46 - Dan’s Journey: From Wilderness Therapy to MeatEater
05:32 - Beyond the "Man Box": Creating a Bigger Definition of Masculinity
09:15 - Old Growth vs. Clear-Cut: The Metaphor for Modern Men
13:40 - The Disappearance of Traditional Rites of Passage
18:55 - What is Initiation? Community, Belonging, and Purpose
24:10 - Solving the Crisis of "Arrested Development"
28:45 - The Parent’s Dilemma: Balancing Strength and Softness
33:20 - Dan’s 6-Month Leadership & Facilitation Program
37:15 - Raising Strong Boys: Navigating Modern Cultural Challenges
41:30 - Digital Landscapes and the Search for Real Connection
44:50 - The Final Principle: Surrounding Your Sons with Mature Men


Books, Tools, and Websites Mentioned

  • Dan’s primary platform for leadership training and fatherhood coaching. https://www.dandoty.com/
  • Dan’s specialized work focusing on expecting fathers. https://www.fatherhoodready.com/
  • Raising Strong Boys: Dan’s online course designed for parents of sons.
  • Richard Reeves: Referenced for his research on the systemic challenges facing modern boys and men.


]]> parenting, raising boys, fatherhood No Q&A: Heart-Level Connection Strategies for Dads and Sons 34 34 Q&A: Heart-Level Connection Strategies for Dads and Sons full 393c8ab7-adf9-4aeb-a4c1-89aa04049d7a https://share.transistor.fm/s/34dd6e18 Key Topics Covered

  • Moving from inherited parenting patterns to helping sons build their own operating systems for life
  • Balancing reactive responses with logical and empathetic thinking through the Two-Brain Metaphor
  • Redefining masculine strength as a drawbridge of trust rather than a wall of armor
  • Understanding why boys adopt social masks and silent postures in public settings to feel safe
  • Prioritizing heart-level connection to open the "drawbridge" to a child’s inner world
  • Using the power of repair and "redos" to teach healthy ways to handle aggression and nervousness

Chapter Markers:

00:00 - Introduction: Our Sons are Becoming Us
01:04 - Q1: Is the "Suck It Up" Playbook Outdated?
02:45 - Updating Your Parenting Operating System
04:15 - Conan vs. Sherlock: The Two-Brain Metaphor
05:50 - Why Vulnerability is True Leadership
07:12 - Q2: Why My Son Becomes a "Silent Statue" in Public
08:40 - The Social Mask: Masculine Rituals of Safety
10:15 - Connection Before Correction: The Castle Metaphor
11:20 - Modeling Repair: The Power of the "Redo"
12:11 - Closing: The Power of Presence & Final Thoughts

Books, Tools, and Resources Mentioned

  • Equimundo: Source for the State of American Men 2025 report on provider roles and masculinity pressures.
  • The Fatherhood Project / Fatherhood.org: Statistics regarding the impact of father absence on youth development.
  • CDC/AECF Statistics: Data on adolescent depression, anxiety, and the "flourishing" indicators for boys.
  • Prison Policy Initiative: Data regarding disproportionate incarceration rates of boys in the juvenile justice system.
  • The Two-Brain Model: Understanding the "Conan the Barbarian" vs. "Sherlock Holmes" mental states.

References:

]]> Key Topics Covered

  • Moving from inherited parenting patterns to helping sons build their own operating systems for life
  • Balancing reactive responses with logical and empathetic thinking through the Two-Brain Metaphor
  • Redefining masculine strength as a drawbridge of trust rather than a wall of armor
  • Understanding why boys adopt social masks and silent postures in public settings to feel safe
  • Prioritizing heart-level connection to open the "drawbridge" to a child’s inner world
  • Using the power of repair and "redos" to teach healthy ways to handle aggression and nervousness

Chapter Markers:

00:00 - Introduction: Our Sons are Becoming Us
01:04 - Q1: Is the "Suck It Up" Playbook Outdated?
02:45 - Updating Your Parenting Operating System
04:15 - Conan vs. Sherlock: The Two-Brain Metaphor
05:50 - Why Vulnerability is True Leadership
07:12 - Q2: Why My Son Becomes a "Silent Statue" in Public
08:40 - The Social Mask: Masculine Rituals of Safety
10:15 - Connection Before Correction: The Castle Metaphor
11:20 - Modeling Repair: The Power of the "Redo"
12:11 - Closing: The Power of Presence & Final Thoughts

Books, Tools, and Resources Mentioned

  • Equimundo: Source for the State of American Men 2025 report on provider roles and masculinity pressures.
  • The Fatherhood Project / Fatherhood.org: Statistics regarding the impact of father absence on youth development.
  • CDC/AECF Statistics: Data on adolescent depression, anxiety, and the "flourishing" indicators for boys.
  • Prison Policy Initiative: Data regarding disproportionate incarceration rates of boys in the juvenile justice system.
  • The Two-Brain Model: Understanding the "Conan the Barbarian" vs. "Sherlock Holmes" mental states.

References:

]]> Thu, 07 May 2026 06:00:00 -0700 Shaun Dawson Shaun Dawson 728 Key Topics Covered

  • Moving from inherited parenting patterns to helping sons build their own operating systems for life
  • Balancing reactive responses with logical and empathetic thinking through the Two-Brain Metaphor
  • Redefining masculine strength as a drawbridge of trust rather than a wall of armor
  • Understanding why boys adopt social masks and silent postures in public settings to feel safe
  • Prioritizing heart-level connection to open the "drawbridge" to a child’s inner world
  • Using the power of repair and "redos" to teach healthy ways to handle aggression and nervousness

Chapter Markers:

00:00 - Introduction: Our Sons are Becoming Us
01:04 - Q1: Is the "Suck It Up" Playbook Outdated?
02:45 - Updating Your Parenting Operating System
04:15 - Conan vs. Sherlock: The Two-Brain Metaphor
05:50 - Why Vulnerability is True Leadership
07:12 - Q2: Why My Son Becomes a "Silent Statue" in Public
08:40 - The Social Mask: Masculine Rituals of Safety
10:15 - Connection Before Correction: The Castle Metaphor
11:20 - Modeling Repair: The Power of the "Redo"
12:11 - Closing: The Power of Presence & Final Thoughts

Books, Tools, and Resources Mentioned

  • Equimundo: Source for the State of American Men 2025 report on provider roles and masculinity pressures.
  • The Fatherhood Project / Fatherhood.org: Statistics regarding the impact of father absence on youth development.
  • CDC/AECF Statistics: Data on adolescent depression, anxiety, and the "flourishing" indicators for boys.
  • Prison Policy Initiative: Data regarding disproportionate incarceration rates of boys in the juvenile justice system.
  • The Two-Brain Model: Understanding the "Conan the Barbarian" vs. "Sherlock Holmes" mental states.

References:

]]> parenting, raising boys, fatherhood No How A Father's Self-Ownership Shapes A Son's Strength with Ralph Brewer 33 33 How A Father's Self-Ownership Shapes A Son's Strength with Ralph Brewer full 5b88951f-5df2-4595-8b36-5150b1cda829 https://share.transistor.fm/s/d930198d In this episode of Raising Men, Sean Dawson sits down with Ralph Brewer, founder of the Help for Men Brotherhood and creator of Dad Starting Over. Ralph shares his journey from divorce and single fatherhood to building a global community helping men navigate relationships, masculinity, fatherhood, and personal growth. The conversation explores the hidden struggles many men face—from sexless marriages and identity loss to the importance of brotherhood and taking ownership of one’s life. 

Key Takeaways

  1. Many men struggle silently with insecurity and anxious attachment in relationships, which can erode intimacy and self-respect.
  2. Confidence and emotional stability—not passivity or aggression—are the foundations of healthy attraction and strong relationships.
  3. Divorce, while painful, can sometimes create healthier co-parenting dynamics and stronger relationships with children.
  4. Men often lack strong support networks, making brotherhood and male community essential for mental and emotional health.
  5. Taking ownership of one’s life instead of blaming others is the first step toward rebuilding identity and purpose.

Top Quotes from Ralph Brewer

“Maintaining a healthy sexuality inside a long-term relationship is far more difficult than most people are ever told.”


“The more secure you become as a man, the more willing you are to leave behind relationships that are unhealthy for you.”


“It’s okay to ask for help. Every great man I’ve ever known built networks of other men who support and challenge him.”


Chapter Markers

00:00 — Putting the Kids First After Divorce

00:38 — Welcome to Raising Men

01:16 — The Quiet Crisis of Male Passivity

01:43 — Starting With the Man in the Mirror

01:43 — The Book That Started It All

02:08 — Life After a Nasty Divorce

02:31 — Why Writing About Sex Got Attention

03:10 — When One Topic Dominates Everything

03:39 — Why Sex Resonates So Deeply With Men

04:03 — The Myth That Marriage Is Effortless

04:49 — Why Dead Bedrooms Aren’t Talked About

05:00 — What Men Are Never Taught About Marriage

05:38 — The Feedback Loop Between Sex and Connection

06:05 — Data on Sex and Relationship Satisfaction

06:25 — What Actually Fixes a Dead Bedroom

06:36 — The Anxious Man Pattern

07:03 — Attachment Theory in Relationships

07:36 — Codependence and Over-Pleasing

07:54 — Why “Happy Wife, Happy Life” Fails

08:50 — The Real Killer of Long-Term Desire

09:16 — Confidence vs. Being a Jerk

09:48 — Neuroticism, Anxiety, and Attraction

10:22 — Building a Secure Male Identity

10:53 — Why Men Don’t Know Who They Are

11:27 — The Nice Guy vs. The Asshole Trap

11:32 — The Delicate Balance in Marriage

11:44 — Emotional Vomiting and Safety

12:29 — Where Anxious Attachment Comes From

13:10 — Repeating the Patterns We Grew Up With

13:39 — Therapy and Pattern Recognition

14:19 — When the Marriage Can’t Be Saved

14:55 — Becoming Secure May Cost Relationships

15:49 — Divorce as a Turning Point

16:14 — Why Divorce Isn’t Always Financial Ruin

16:50 — When Fatherhood Improves After Divorce

17:39 — Limited Time Creates Intentional Parenting

18:29 — Reframing Divorce as Co-Parenting

19:25 — When Co-Parenting Turns Hostile

20:15 — Why Boys Need Quality Men Around

20:56 — Toxic Relationships After Divorce

21:46 — Why Men Need Help Navigating Divorce

22:00 — The Gray Rock Strategy

22:54 — Emotional Detachment as Protection

23:19 — Knowing and Defending Your Rights

24:00 — Taking Ownership of Parenting Logistics

24:28 — Parental Alienation Explained

25:06 — Why Brotherhood Matters

25:58 — The Collapse of Male Institutions

27:00 — Men After Divorce and Isolation

28:08 — Why Men Don’t Build Support Systems

29:12 — Creating Brotherhood on Purpose

30:08 — Inside the Help for Men Brotherhood

31:57 — Why Dead Bedrooms Lead Men to Community

32:21 — Patterns Across Married and Divorced Men

33:12 — Why Community Improves Mental Health

34:03 — Success Without Brotherhood Still Fails

35:14 — A Friendship Wake-Up Call

36:08 — Vulnerability Is Hard for Men

36:43 — Why Men Need Safe Containers

37:26 — Ownership Over Victimhood

38:04 — Escaping the Victim Mentality

39:40 — Ultimate Responsibility as Masculinity

40:26 — Redefining Masculinity Today

41:33 — One Principle for Raising Boys

41:55 — It’s Okay to Ask for Help

42:49 — Asking for Help Is a Virtue


Books, Links, and References Mentioned

The Dead Bedroom Fix – Ralph Brewer  https://dadstartingover.com/dead-bedroom-fix/

Rebuild – Ralph Brewer https://dadstartingover.com/rebuild/
No More Mr. Nice Guy – Dr. Robert Glover  https://www.amazon.com/No-More-Mr-Nice-Guy/dp/0762415339

Help for Men Brotherhood https://helpformen.com

Dad Starting Over  https://dadstartingover.com


Framework Mentioned

The Secure Man Transformation

A progression Ralph describes in his work:

  1. Awareness – Recognize anxious attachment patterns and relationship dynamics.
  2. Identity Building – Define personal values, purpose, and boundaries.
  3. Security – Develop emotional stability and independence.
  4. Action – Make decisions aligned with self-respect and long-term well-being.
  5. Brotherhood – Surround yourself with other men who provide accountability and support.


]]> In this episode of Raising Men, Sean Dawson sits down with Ralph Brewer, founder of the Help for Men Brotherhood and creator of Dad Starting Over. Ralph shares his journey from divorce and single fatherhood to building a global community helping men navigate relationships, masculinity, fatherhood, and personal growth. The conversation explores the hidden struggles many men face—from sexless marriages and identity loss to the importance of brotherhood and taking ownership of one’s life. 

Key Takeaways

  1. Many men struggle silently with insecurity and anxious attachment in relationships, which can erode intimacy and self-respect.
  2. Confidence and emotional stability—not passivity or aggression—are the foundations of healthy attraction and strong relationships.
  3. Divorce, while painful, can sometimes create healthier co-parenting dynamics and stronger relationships with children.
  4. Men often lack strong support networks, making brotherhood and male community essential for mental and emotional health.
  5. Taking ownership of one’s life instead of blaming others is the first step toward rebuilding identity and purpose.

Top Quotes from Ralph Brewer

“Maintaining a healthy sexuality inside a long-term relationship is far more difficult than most people are ever told.”


“The more secure you become as a man, the more willing you are to leave behind relationships that are unhealthy for you.”


“It’s okay to ask for help. Every great man I’ve ever known built networks of other men who support and challenge him.”


Chapter Markers

00:00 — Putting the Kids First After Divorce

00:38 — Welcome to Raising Men

01:16 — The Quiet Crisis of Male Passivity

01:43 — Starting With the Man in the Mirror

01:43 — The Book That Started It All

02:08 — Life After a Nasty Divorce

02:31 — Why Writing About Sex Got Attention

03:10 — When One Topic Dominates Everything

03:39 — Why Sex Resonates So Deeply With Men

04:03 — The Myth That Marriage Is Effortless

04:49 — Why Dead Bedrooms Aren’t Talked About

05:00 — What Men Are Never Taught About Marriage

05:38 — The Feedback Loop Between Sex and Connection

06:05 — Data on Sex and Relationship Satisfaction

06:25 — What Actually Fixes a Dead Bedroom

06:36 — The Anxious Man Pattern

07:03 — Attachment Theory in Relationships

07:36 — Codependence and Over-Pleasing

07:54 — Why “Happy Wife, Happy Life” Fails

08:50 — The Real Killer of Long-Term Desire

09:16 — Confidence vs. Being a Jerk

09:48 — Neuroticism, Anxiety, and Attraction

10:22 — Building a Secure Male Identity

10:53 — Why Men Don’t Know Who They Are

11:27 — The Nice Guy vs. The Asshole Trap

11:32 — The Delicate Balance in Marriage

11:44 — Emotional Vomiting and Safety

12:29 — Where Anxious Attachment Comes From

13:10 — Repeating the Patterns We Grew Up With

13:39 — Therapy and Pattern Recognition

14:19 — When the Marriage Can’t Be Saved

14:55 — Becoming Secure May Cost Relationships

15:49 — Divorce as a Turning Point

16:14 — Why Divorce Isn’t Always Financial Ruin

16:50 — When Fatherhood Improves After Divorce

17:39 — Limited Time Creates Intentional Parenting

18:29 — Reframing Divorce as Co-Parenting

19:25 — When Co-Parenting Turns Hostile

20:15 — Why Boys Need Quality Men Around

20:56 — Toxic Relationships After Divorce

21:46 — Why Men Need Help Navigating Divorce

22:00 — The Gray Rock Strategy

22:54 — Emotional Detachment as Protection

23:19 — Knowing and Defending Your Rights

24:00 — Taking Ownership of Parenting Logistics

24:28 — Parental Alienation Explained

25:06 — Why Brotherhood Matters

25:58 — The Collapse of Male Institutions

27:00 — Men After Divorce and Isolation

28:08 — Why Men Don’t Build Support Systems

29:12 — Creating Brotherhood on Purpose

30:08 — Inside the Help for Men Brotherhood

31:57 — Why Dead Bedrooms Lead Men to Community

32:21 — Patterns Across Married and Divorced Men

33:12 — Why Community Improves Mental Health

34:03 — Success Without Brotherhood Still Fails

35:14 — A Friendship Wake-Up Call

36:08 — Vulnerability Is Hard for Men

36:43 — Why Men Need Safe Containers

37:26 — Ownership Over Victimhood

38:04 — Escaping the Victim Mentality

39:40 — Ultimate Responsibility as Masculinity

40:26 — Redefining Masculinity Today

41:33 — One Principle for Raising Boys

41:55 — It’s Okay to Ask for Help

42:49 — Asking for Help Is a Virtue


Books, Links, and References Mentioned

The Dead Bedroom Fix – Ralph Brewer  https://dadstartingover.com/dead-bedroom-fix/

Rebuild – Ralph Brewer https://dadstartingover.com/rebuild/
No More Mr. Nice Guy – Dr. Robert Glover  https://www.amazon.com/No-More-Mr-Nice-Guy/dp/0762415339

Help for Men Brotherhood https://helpformen.com

Dad Starting Over  https://dadstartingover.com


Framework Mentioned

The Secure Man Transformation

A progression Ralph describes in his work:

  1. Awareness – Recognize anxious attachment patterns and relationship dynamics.
  2. Identity Building – Define personal values, purpose, and boundaries.
  3. Security – Develop emotional stability and independence.
  4. Action – Make decisions aligned with self-respect and long-term well-being.
  5. Brotherhood – Surround yourself with other men who provide accountability and support.


]]> Mon, 04 May 2026 06:00:00 -0700 Shaun Dawson Shaun Dawson 2674 In this episode of Raising Men, Sean Dawson sits down with Ralph Brewer, founder of the Help for Men Brotherhood and creator of Dad Starting Over. Ralph shares his journey from divorce and single fatherhood to building a global community helping men navigate relationships, masculinity, fatherhood, and personal growth. The conversation explores the hidden struggles many men face—from sexless marriages and identity loss to the importance of brotherhood and taking ownership of one’s life. 

Key Takeaways

  1. Many men struggle silently with insecurity and anxious attachment in relationships, which can erode intimacy and self-respect.
  2. Confidence and emotional stability—not passivity or aggression—are the foundations of healthy attraction and strong relationships.
  3. Divorce, while painful, can sometimes create healthier co-parenting dynamics and stronger relationships with children.
  4. Men often lack strong support networks, making brotherhood and male community essential for mental and emotional health.
  5. Taking ownership of one’s life instead of blaming others is the first step toward rebuilding identity and purpose.

Top Quotes from Ralph Brewer

“Maintaining a healthy sexuality inside a long-term relationship is far more difficult than most people are ever told.”


“The more secure you become as a man, the more willing you are to leave behind relationships that are unhealthy for you.”


“It’s okay to ask for help. Every great man I’ve ever known built networks of other men who support and challenge him.”


Chapter Markers

00:00 — Putting the Kids First After Divorce

00:38 — Welcome to Raising Men

01:16 — The Quiet Crisis of Male Passivity

01:43 — Starting With the Man in the Mirror

01:43 — The Book That Started It All

02:08 — Life After a Nasty Divorce

02:31 — Why Writing About Sex Got Attention

03:10 — When One Topic Dominates Everything

03:39 — Why Sex Resonates So Deeply With Men

04:03 — The Myth That Marriage Is Effortless

04:49 — Why Dead Bedrooms Aren’t Talked About

05:00 — What Men Are Never Taught About Marriage

05:38 — The Feedback Loop Between Sex and Connection

06:05 — Data on Sex and Relationship Satisfaction

06:25 — What Actually Fixes a Dead Bedroom

06:36 — The Anxious Man Pattern

07:03 — Attachment Theory in Relationships

07:36 — Codependence and Over-Pleasing

07:54 — Why “Happy Wife, Happy Life” Fails

08:50 — The Real Killer of Long-Term Desire

09:16 — Confidence vs. Being a Jerk

09:48 — Neuroticism, Anxiety, and Attraction

10:22 — Building a Secure Male Identity

10:53 — Why Men Don’t Know Who They Are

11:27 — The Nice Guy vs. The Asshole Trap

11:32 — The Delicate Balance in Marriage

11:44 — Emotional Vomiting and Safety

12:29 — Where Anxious Attachment Comes From

13:10 — Repeating the Patterns We Grew Up With

13:39 — Therapy and Pattern Recognition

14:19 — When the Marriage Can’t Be Saved

14:55 — Becoming Secure May Cost Relationships

15:49 — Divorce as a Turning Point

16:14 — Why Divorce Isn’t Always Financial Ruin

16:50 — When Fatherhood Improves After Divorce

17:39 — Limited Time Creates Intentional Parenting

18:29 — Reframing Divorce as Co-Parenting

19:25 — When Co-Parenting Turns Hostile

20:15 — Why Boys Need Quality Men Around

20:56 — Toxic Relationships After Divorce

21:46 — Why Men Need Help Navigating Divorce

22:00 — The Gray Rock Strategy

22:54 — Emotional Detachment as Protection

23:19 — Knowing and Defending Your Rights

24:00 — Taking Ownership of Parenting Logistics

24:28 — Parental Alienation Explained

25:06 — Why Brotherhood Matters

25:58 — The Collapse of Male Institutions

27:00 — Men After Divorce and Isolation

28:08 — Why Men Don’t Build Support Systems

29:12 — Creating Brotherhood on Purpose

30:08 — Inside the Help for Men Brotherhood

31:57 — Why Dead Bedrooms Lead Men to Community

32:21 — Patterns Across Married and Divorced Men

33:12 — Why Community Improves Mental Health

34:03 — Success Without Brotherhood Still Fails

35:14 — A Friendship Wake-Up Call

36:08 — Vulnerability Is Hard for Men

36:43 — Why Men Need Safe Containers

37:26 — Ownership Over Victimhood

38:04 — Escaping the Victim Mentality

39:40 — Ultimate Responsibility as Masculinity

40:26 — Redefining Masculinity Today

41:33 — One Principle for Raising Boys

41:55 — It’s Okay to Ask for Help

42:49 — Asking for Help Is a Virtue


Books, Links, and References Mentioned

The Dead Bedroom Fix – Ralph Brewer  https://dadstartingover.com/dead-bedroom-fix/

Rebuild – Ralph Brewer https://dadstartingover.com/rebuild/
No More Mr. Nice Guy – Dr. Robert Glover  https://www.amazon.com/No-More-Mr-Nice-Guy/dp/0762415339

Help for Men Brotherhood https://helpformen.com

Dad Starting Over  https://dadstartingover.com


Framework Mentioned

The Secure Man Transformation

A progression Ralph describes in his work:

  1. Awareness – Recognize anxious attachment patterns and relationship dynamics.
  2. Identity Building – Define personal values, purpose, and boundaries.
  3. Security – Develop emotional stability and independence.
  4. Action – Make decisions aligned with self-respect and long-term well-being.
  5. Brotherhood – Surround yourself with other men who provide accountability and support.


]]> masculinity, fatherhood, relationships, brotherhood, personal responsibility No Q&A: The Inner Battle of Masculinity and Digital Parenting 32 32 Q&A: The Inner Battle of Masculinity and Digital Parenting full a18c2175-79bd-47c0-9096-65f0b0589390 https://share.transistor.fm/s/8466fec9 In this episode of Raising Men, Shaun Dawson explores the complex topics of masculinity, consent, and digital influence in parenting. He offers practical advice on teaching boys emotional sensitivity, consent through play, and building internal discipline to navigate social media algorithms.

Questions:

  1. "I’m terrified of my son being a 'predator' or 'toxic.' Should I be teaching him consent now, or wait until he’s older?"
  2. "He’s always on his phone. I feel like he’s living in an 'algorithmic miseducation.' How do I build an 'internal compliance department' in his head?"

Key Topics

  • Masculinity is not toxic but under construction
  • Teaching consent through play and wrestling
  • Building internal discipline to manage social media influence
  • The importance of modeling humility and self-regulation
  • Understanding the emotional sensitivity of boys


"Toxicity doesn't come from being a man. It comes from the rigidity of being a man who's not allowed to feel anything but anger." 


Books, Tools, & Resources Mentioned

  • The Fragile Male by Sebastian Kramer (published in the British Medical Journal).
  • Raising Good Humans by Hunter Clarke-Fields.
  • "Power Over vs. Power With" (Luke Entrip) and "Agreements vs. Rules" (Tom Hobson)

Episodes mentioned
https://raising.men/episodes/the-psychology-of-raising-emotionally-healthy-boys-with-dr-daniel-singley
https://raising.men/episodes/crossing-the-threshold-rites-of-passage-and-raising-good-men-with-luke-entrup
https://raising.men/episodes/what-boys-need-now-a-mindful-parenting-framework-with-hunter-clarke-fields
https://raising.men/episodes/navigating-the-strong-willed-path-to-manhood-with-kirk-martin

]]> In this episode of Raising Men, Shaun Dawson explores the complex topics of masculinity, consent, and digital influence in parenting. He offers practical advice on teaching boys emotional sensitivity, consent through play, and building internal discipline to navigate social media algorithms.

Questions:

  1. "I’m terrified of my son being a 'predator' or 'toxic.' Should I be teaching him consent now, or wait until he’s older?"
  2. "He’s always on his phone. I feel like he’s living in an 'algorithmic miseducation.' How do I build an 'internal compliance department' in his head?"

Key Topics

  • Masculinity is not toxic but under construction
  • Teaching consent through play and wrestling
  • Building internal discipline to manage social media influence
  • The importance of modeling humility and self-regulation
  • Understanding the emotional sensitivity of boys


"Toxicity doesn't come from being a man. It comes from the rigidity of being a man who's not allowed to feel anything but anger." 


Books, Tools, & Resources Mentioned

  • The Fragile Male by Sebastian Kramer (published in the British Medical Journal).
  • Raising Good Humans by Hunter Clarke-Fields.
  • "Power Over vs. Power With" (Luke Entrip) and "Agreements vs. Rules" (Tom Hobson)

Episodes mentioned
https://raising.men/episodes/the-psychology-of-raising-emotionally-healthy-boys-with-dr-daniel-singley
https://raising.men/episodes/crossing-the-threshold-rites-of-passage-and-raising-good-men-with-luke-entrup
https://raising.men/episodes/what-boys-need-now-a-mindful-parenting-framework-with-hunter-clarke-fields
https://raising.men/episodes/navigating-the-strong-willed-path-to-manhood-with-kirk-martin

]]> Thu, 30 Apr 2026 03:35:33 -0700 Shaun Dawson Shaun Dawson 1040 In this episode of Raising Men, Shaun Dawson explores the complex topics of masculinity, consent, and digital influence in parenting. He offers practical advice on teaching boys emotional sensitivity, consent through play, and building internal discipline to navigate social media algorithms.

Questions:

  1. "I’m terrified of my son being a 'predator' or 'toxic.' Should I be teaching him consent now, or wait until he’s older?"
  2. "He’s always on his phone. I feel like he’s living in an 'algorithmic miseducation.' How do I build an 'internal compliance department' in his head?"

Key Topics

  • Masculinity is not toxic but under construction
  • Teaching consent through play and wrestling
  • Building internal discipline to manage social media influence
  • The importance of modeling humility and self-regulation
  • Understanding the emotional sensitivity of boys


"Toxicity doesn't come from being a man. It comes from the rigidity of being a man who's not allowed to feel anything but anger." 


Books, Tools, & Resources Mentioned

  • The Fragile Male by Sebastian Kramer (published in the British Medical Journal).
  • Raising Good Humans by Hunter Clarke-Fields.
  • "Power Over vs. Power With" (Luke Entrip) and "Agreements vs. Rules" (Tom Hobson)

Episodes mentioned
https://raising.men/episodes/the-psychology-of-raising-emotionally-healthy-boys-with-dr-daniel-singley
https://raising.men/episodes/crossing-the-threshold-rites-of-passage-and-raising-good-men-with-luke-entrup
https://raising.men/episodes/what-boys-need-now-a-mindful-parenting-framework-with-hunter-clarke-fields
https://raising.men/episodes/navigating-the-strong-willed-path-to-manhood-with-kirk-martin

]]> masculinity, consent, parenting, emotional intelligence, social media, self-regulation, boys development, digital literacy No Mindful Masculinity for Modern Dads with Todd Adams 31 31 Mindful Masculinity for Modern Dads with Todd Adams full 5a77f0d9-f70a-4418-b029-c5825ffd6c51 https://share.transistor.fm/s/fcc062e0 In this conversation, Todd Adams — Executive Director of Men Living and co-host of Zen Parenting Radio — unpacks what “conscious masculinity” truly means when you’re raising boys today. From the man box, to modeling emotional literacy, to partnership dynamics, to navigating conflict and consent, Todd brings grounded, practical wisdom for parents who want to raise strong, emotionally capable young men. This episode is about presence, modeling, and doing your own work — because our sons learn far more from who we are than what we say.

Key Takeaways

1. The Man Box & Conscious Masculinity

Todd explains the framework of the “man box” — narrow cultural expectations that boys absorb — and why conscious masculinity expands beyond toughness into nurturing, emotional presence, and integrity. 

2. The 60–30–10 Model of Parenting

Todd breaks down his parenting philosophy:

  • 60% modeling
  • 30% how you show up
  • 10% the actual words

This becomes the foundation of how boys learn behavior, responsibility, and emotional regulation.

3. Emotional Literacy, Empathy & Letting Boys Feel

Todd highlights how boys are naturally emotional — even more expressive than girls early on — until society trains it out of them. He talks about naming feelings, body awareness, and letting boys feel deeply instead of distracting or shutting them down. 

4. Partnership, Emotional Labor & Conflict Styles

Todd discusses how marriage dynamics shape a boy’s understanding of masculinity, equality, and emotional safety — including emotional labor, conflict styles (fight, freeze, flee, fawn), consent, and role modeling in the home. 

5. Men Living, Connection & Why Fathers Must Do Inner Work

Todd shares why men lose deep friendships, how he built Men Living, and why dads must take responsibility for their personal growth — instead of passing unresolved baggage down to their sons.

If you want your son to be kind, be kind. If you want your son to read books, read books. Modeling is 60% of parenting.


Our kids are here to teach us. We’re not just here to teach them.


Most men only allow themselves to feel anger. But boys come into this world deeply emotional — we just shut it down too early.


Timestamps / Chapter Markers

00:00 — What We Can Control as Fathers

00:33 — Welcome & Meet Todd Adams

01:05 — What Is Conscious Masculinity?

02:01 — Boys Are Born Emotionally Expressive

03:23 — The “Man Box” and Its Limits

04:29 — The Four Male Archetypes

05:45 — Why the Lover Archetype Matters

06:25 — Parenting Is More About Being Than Saying

07:10 — The 60–30–10 Parenting Model

08:45 — Be the Man You Want Your Son to Become

09:45 — Are We Sure We Turned Out “Fine”?

10:38 — Raising Kids in a Radically Different World

11:55 — Screens, Addiction, and Honest Modeling

13:34 — Why Kids See Everything

14:03 — When Men Lack Emotional Role Models

14:55 — The Golf Weekend Wake-Up Call

16:28 — Men Already Know How to Feel

17:15 — Naming Feelings and Listening to the Body

18:08 — When a Child Feels Everything

18:37 — Humor as Emotional Avoidance

20:17 — Why Men Need Intentional Community

22:21 — Creating Male Spaces on Purpose

24:19 — Adapting Masculinity to a Changing World

25:50 — Modeling Equality at Home

27:05 — Emotional Labor and Invisible Work

29:16 — Total Ownership in Partnership

30:52 — Making the Invisible Visible

32:30 — Recognition and Unequal Praise

33:40 — Healthy Partnership as a Teaching Tool

34:14 — The Real Secret to a Strong Marriage

35:07 — Understanding Conflict Styles

36:44 — Excellence, Joy, and Struggle

39:05 — Why Avoidance Costs More Long-Term

40:44 — Where Fathers Get Stuck

41:10 — The Five Principles of Men Living

42:30 — Protecting Boys’ Emotional Openness

43:02 — “Let Me Feel What I Feel”

44:30 — Rethinking Affection and Masculinity

45:40 — Consent Starts Early

47:17 — One Operating Principle for Raising Boys

48:20 — Let Your Kids Teach You

49:09 — Closing Reflections

Supporting Content

1. King, Warrior, Magician, Lover — by Robert Moore & Douglas Gillette

Todd uses this to explain the four male archetypes and why boys need the “lover” archetype encouraged, not erased.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0062506064


2. Tony Porter’s “A Call to Men” & The Man Box Framework

Referenced via Tony Porter’s TED Talk about the “man box” and cultural conditioning around masculinity.

https://www.ted.com/talks/tony_porter_a_call_to_men


3. Fair Play System (Eve Rodsky)

Referenced during discussion of emotional labor, ownership, and division of hidden household responsibilities.

https://www.fairplaylife.com


4. Men Living (Todd’s organization)

Frameworks mentioned: Men Living Consciously, Curiously, Emotionally, Candidly, Intentionally.

https://menliving.org


5. Zen Parenting Radio (Todd & Cathy’s podcast)

Referenced throughout the conversation. https://zenparentingradio.com

]]> In this conversation, Todd Adams — Executive Director of Men Living and co-host of Zen Parenting Radio — unpacks what “conscious masculinity” truly means when you’re raising boys today. From the man box, to modeling emotional literacy, to partnership dynamics, to navigating conflict and consent, Todd brings grounded, practical wisdom for parents who want to raise strong, emotionally capable young men. This episode is about presence, modeling, and doing your own work — because our sons learn far more from who we are than what we say.

Key Takeaways

1. The Man Box & Conscious Masculinity

Todd explains the framework of the “man box” — narrow cultural expectations that boys absorb — and why conscious masculinity expands beyond toughness into nurturing, emotional presence, and integrity. 

2. The 60–30–10 Model of Parenting

Todd breaks down his parenting philosophy:

  • 60% modeling
  • 30% how you show up
  • 10% the actual words

This becomes the foundation of how boys learn behavior, responsibility, and emotional regulation.

3. Emotional Literacy, Empathy & Letting Boys Feel

Todd highlights how boys are naturally emotional — even more expressive than girls early on — until society trains it out of them. He talks about naming feelings, body awareness, and letting boys feel deeply instead of distracting or shutting them down. 

4. Partnership, Emotional Labor & Conflict Styles

Todd discusses how marriage dynamics shape a boy’s understanding of masculinity, equality, and emotional safety — including emotional labor, conflict styles (fight, freeze, flee, fawn), consent, and role modeling in the home. 

5. Men Living, Connection & Why Fathers Must Do Inner Work

Todd shares why men lose deep friendships, how he built Men Living, and why dads must take responsibility for their personal growth — instead of passing unresolved baggage down to their sons.

If you want your son to be kind, be kind. If you want your son to read books, read books. Modeling is 60% of parenting.


Our kids are here to teach us. We’re not just here to teach them.


Most men only allow themselves to feel anger. But boys come into this world deeply emotional — we just shut it down too early.


Timestamps / Chapter Markers

00:00 — What We Can Control as Fathers

00:33 — Welcome & Meet Todd Adams

01:05 — What Is Conscious Masculinity?

02:01 — Boys Are Born Emotionally Expressive

03:23 — The “Man Box” and Its Limits

04:29 — The Four Male Archetypes

05:45 — Why the Lover Archetype Matters

06:25 — Parenting Is More About Being Than Saying

07:10 — The 60–30–10 Parenting Model

08:45 — Be the Man You Want Your Son to Become

09:45 — Are We Sure We Turned Out “Fine”?

10:38 — Raising Kids in a Radically Different World

11:55 — Screens, Addiction, and Honest Modeling

13:34 — Why Kids See Everything

14:03 — When Men Lack Emotional Role Models

14:55 — The Golf Weekend Wake-Up Call

16:28 — Men Already Know How to Feel

17:15 — Naming Feelings and Listening to the Body

18:08 — When a Child Feels Everything

18:37 — Humor as Emotional Avoidance

20:17 — Why Men Need Intentional Community

22:21 — Creating Male Spaces on Purpose

24:19 — Adapting Masculinity to a Changing World

25:50 — Modeling Equality at Home

27:05 — Emotional Labor and Invisible Work

29:16 — Total Ownership in Partnership

30:52 — Making the Invisible Visible

32:30 — Recognition and Unequal Praise

33:40 — Healthy Partnership as a Teaching Tool

34:14 — The Real Secret to a Strong Marriage

35:07 — Understanding Conflict Styles

36:44 — Excellence, Joy, and Struggle

39:05 — Why Avoidance Costs More Long-Term

40:44 — Where Fathers Get Stuck

41:10 — The Five Principles of Men Living

42:30 — Protecting Boys’ Emotional Openness

43:02 — “Let Me Feel What I Feel”

44:30 — Rethinking Affection and Masculinity

45:40 — Consent Starts Early

47:17 — One Operating Principle for Raising Boys

48:20 — Let Your Kids Teach You

49:09 — Closing Reflections

Supporting Content

1. King, Warrior, Magician, Lover — by Robert Moore & Douglas Gillette

Todd uses this to explain the four male archetypes and why boys need the “lover” archetype encouraged, not erased.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0062506064


2. Tony Porter’s “A Call to Men” & The Man Box Framework

Referenced via Tony Porter’s TED Talk about the “man box” and cultural conditioning around masculinity.

https://www.ted.com/talks/tony_porter_a_call_to_men


3. Fair Play System (Eve Rodsky)

Referenced during discussion of emotional labor, ownership, and division of hidden household responsibilities.

https://www.fairplaylife.com


4. Men Living (Todd’s organization)

Frameworks mentioned: Men Living Consciously, Curiously, Emotionally, Candidly, Intentionally.

https://menliving.org


5. Zen Parenting Radio (Todd & Cathy’s podcast)

Referenced throughout the conversation. https://zenparentingradio.com

]]> Mon, 27 Apr 2026 06:00:00 -0700 Shaun Dawson Shaun Dawson 2961 In this conversation, Todd Adams — Executive Director of Men Living and co-host of Zen Parenting Radio — unpacks what “conscious masculinity” truly means when you’re raising boys today. From the man box, to modeling emotional literacy, to partnership dynamics, to navigating conflict and consent, Todd brings grounded, practical wisdom for parents who want to raise strong, emotionally capable young men. This episode is about presence, modeling, and doing your own work — because our sons learn far more from who we are than what we say.

Key Takeaways

1. The Man Box & Conscious Masculinity

Todd explains the framework of the “man box” — narrow cultural expectations that boys absorb — and why conscious masculinity expands beyond toughness into nurturing, emotional presence, and integrity. 

2. The 60–30–10 Model of Parenting

Todd breaks down his parenting philosophy:

  • 60% modeling
  • 30% how you show up
  • 10% the actual words

This becomes the foundation of how boys learn behavior, responsibility, and emotional regulation.

3. Emotional Literacy, Empathy & Letting Boys Feel

Todd highlights how boys are naturally emotional — even more expressive than girls early on — until society trains it out of them. He talks about naming feelings, body awareness, and letting boys feel deeply instead of distracting or shutting them down. 

4. Partnership, Emotional Labor & Conflict Styles

Todd discusses how marriage dynamics shape a boy’s understanding of masculinity, equality, and emotional safety — including emotional labor, conflict styles (fight, freeze, flee, fawn), consent, and role modeling in the home. 

5. Men Living, Connection & Why Fathers Must Do Inner Work

Todd shares why men lose deep friendships, how he built Men Living, and why dads must take responsibility for their personal growth — instead of passing unresolved baggage down to their sons.

If you want your son to be kind, be kind. If you want your son to read books, read books. Modeling is 60% of parenting.


Our kids are here to teach us. We’re not just here to teach them.


Most men only allow themselves to feel anger. But boys come into this world deeply emotional — we just shut it down too early.


Timestamps / Chapter Markers

00:00 — What We Can Control as Fathers

00:33 — Welcome & Meet Todd Adams

01:05 — What Is Conscious Masculinity?

02:01 — Boys Are Born Emotionally Expressive

03:23 — The “Man Box” and Its Limits

04:29 — The Four Male Archetypes

05:45 — Why the Lover Archetype Matters

06:25 — Parenting Is More About Being Than Saying

07:10 — The 60–30–10 Parenting Model

08:45 — Be the Man You Want Your Son to Become

09:45 — Are We Sure We Turned Out “Fine”?

10:38 — Raising Kids in a Radically Different World

11:55 — Screens, Addiction, and Honest Modeling

13:34 — Why Kids See Everything

14:03 — When Men Lack Emotional Role Models

14:55 — The Golf Weekend Wake-Up Call

16:28 — Men Already Know How to Feel

17:15 — Naming Feelings and Listening to the Body

18:08 — When a Child Feels Everything

18:37 — Humor as Emotional Avoidance

20:17 — Why Men Need Intentional Community

22:21 — Creating Male Spaces on Purpose

24:19 — Adapting Masculinity to a Changing World

25:50 — Modeling Equality at Home

27:05 — Emotional Labor and Invisible Work

29:16 — Total Ownership in Partnership

30:52 — Making the Invisible Visible

32:30 — Recognition and Unequal Praise

33:40 — Healthy Partnership as a Teaching Tool

34:14 — The Real Secret to a Strong Marriage

35:07 — Understanding Conflict Styles

36:44 — Excellence, Joy, and Struggle

39:05 — Why Avoidance Costs More Long-Term

40:44 — Where Fathers Get Stuck

41:10 — The Five Principles of Men Living

42:30 — Protecting Boys’ Emotional Openness

43:02 — “Let Me Feel What I Feel”

44:30 — Rethinking Affection and Masculinity

45:40 — Consent Starts Early

47:17 — One Operating Principle for Raising Boys

48:20 — Let Your Kids Teach You

49:09 — Closing Reflections

Supporting Content

1. King, Warrior, Magician, Lover — by Robert Moore & Douglas Gillette

Todd uses this to explain the four male archetypes and why boys need the “lover” archetype encouraged, not erased.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/0062506064


2. Tony Porter’s “A Call to Men” & The Man Box Framework

Referenced via Tony Porter’s TED Talk about the “man box” and cultural conditioning around masculinity.

https://www.ted.com/talks/tony_porter_a_call_to_men


3. Fair Play System (Eve Rodsky)

Referenced during discussion of emotional labor, ownership, and division of hidden household responsibilities.

https://www.fairplaylife.com


4. Men Living (Todd’s organization)

Frameworks mentioned: Men Living Consciously, Curiously, Emotionally, Candidly, Intentionally.

https://menliving.org


5. Zen Parenting Radio (Todd & Cathy’s podcast)

Referenced throughout the conversation. https://zenparentingradio.com

]]> parenting, raising boys, fatherhood No The Superpower of Starting from Zero 30 30 The Superpower of Starting from Zero full 586bf550-dbf0-4b9b-a8d3-a86a7062bad4 https://share.transistor.fm/s/219a14d8 In this episode of Raising Men, host Shaun Dawson reflects on a powerful conversation with Deland McCullough. Shaun shares a poignant story about a young entrepreneur in Chicago who built a thriving barbershop but nearly lost everything because he lacked a permit—and, more importantly, because his "default mindset" told him the world was designed to take his success away. This narrative serves as a backdrop to explore the resilient spirit of Deland who faced NFL-ending injuries only to rebuild his life as a coach. Shaun discusses the critical role parents play in teaching their sons two vital lessons: that they are worthy of the fruits of their success and that they must not fear starting from scratch. It is a deep dive into how we can instill the "superpower" of resilience in the next generation.

Key Takeaways

  • Mindset Dictates Success: A "default mindset" of defeatism can cause individuals to give up on their goals when faced with obstacles they don't understand.
  • The Power of Rebuilding: True resilience is the ability to start from zero and reach "unimaginable heights" regardless of previous setbacks.
  • Worthiness of Success: Parents must ensure their children feel worthy of life’s challenges and the rewards that come from surmounting them.
  • The Risk of Starting Over: Success requires a willingness to risk what one currently has to achieve something greater, including the courage to ask for raises or start businesses.
  • Fighting for What is Yours: Children should be taught to "fight tooth and nail" for their success rather than accepting an unfair world as an excuse for failure
"The way of the world is you go and you create a business and you start creating value and you get to reap the financial rewards of that." 


Chapter Markers

00:00 – Introduction to Deland McCullough and the Power of Authenticity
01:00 – The Story of the Chicago Barbershop
02:24 – When the City Inspector Shuts You Down
03:57 – The Landlord’s Lesson: Navigating Permits and Rules
05:00 – Understanding the "Default Mindset"
06:12 – Deland McCullough's NFL Journey and Rebuilding
08:34 – Instilling Self-Worth and Resilience in Our Sons
10:15 – Taking Risks and the Courage to Rebuild

Books, Links and Frameworks Mentioned

]]> In this episode of Raising Men, host Shaun Dawson reflects on a powerful conversation with Deland McCullough. Shaun shares a poignant story about a young entrepreneur in Chicago who built a thriving barbershop but nearly lost everything because he lacked a permit—and, more importantly, because his "default mindset" told him the world was designed to take his success away. This narrative serves as a backdrop to explore the resilient spirit of Deland who faced NFL-ending injuries only to rebuild his life as a coach. Shaun discusses the critical role parents play in teaching their sons two vital lessons: that they are worthy of the fruits of their success and that they must not fear starting from scratch. It is a deep dive into how we can instill the "superpower" of resilience in the next generation.

Key Takeaways

  • Mindset Dictates Success: A "default mindset" of defeatism can cause individuals to give up on their goals when faced with obstacles they don't understand.
  • The Power of Rebuilding: True resilience is the ability to start from zero and reach "unimaginable heights" regardless of previous setbacks.
  • Worthiness of Success: Parents must ensure their children feel worthy of life’s challenges and the rewards that come from surmounting them.
  • The Risk of Starting Over: Success requires a willingness to risk what one currently has to achieve something greater, including the courage to ask for raises or start businesses.
  • Fighting for What is Yours: Children should be taught to "fight tooth and nail" for their success rather than accepting an unfair world as an excuse for failure
"The way of the world is you go and you create a business and you start creating value and you get to reap the financial rewards of that." 


Chapter Markers

00:00 – Introduction to Deland McCullough and the Power of Authenticity
01:00 – The Story of the Chicago Barbershop
02:24 – When the City Inspector Shuts You Down
03:57 – The Landlord’s Lesson: Navigating Permits and Rules
05:00 – Understanding the "Default Mindset"
06:12 – Deland McCullough's NFL Journey and Rebuilding
08:34 – Instilling Self-Worth and Resilience in Our Sons
10:15 – Taking Risks and the Courage to Rebuild

Books, Links and Frameworks Mentioned

]]> Thu, 23 Apr 2026 06:00:00 -0700 Shaun Dawson Shaun Dawson 539 In this episode of Raising Men, host Shaun Dawson reflects on a powerful conversation with Deland McCullough. Shaun shares a poignant story about a young entrepreneur in Chicago who built a thriving barbershop but nearly lost everything because he lacked a permit—and, more importantly, because his "default mindset" told him the world was designed to take his success away. This narrative serves as a backdrop to explore the resilient spirit of Deland who faced NFL-ending injuries only to rebuild his life as a coach. Shaun discusses the critical role parents play in teaching their sons two vital lessons: that they are worthy of the fruits of their success and that they must not fear starting from scratch. It is a deep dive into how we can instill the "superpower" of resilience in the next generation.

Key Takeaways

  • Mindset Dictates Success: A "default mindset" of defeatism can cause individuals to give up on their goals when faced with obstacles they don't understand.
  • The Power of Rebuilding: True resilience is the ability to start from zero and reach "unimaginable heights" regardless of previous setbacks.
  • Worthiness of Success: Parents must ensure their children feel worthy of life’s challenges and the rewards that come from surmounting them.
  • The Risk of Starting Over: Success requires a willingness to risk what one currently has to achieve something greater, including the courage to ask for raises or start businesses.
  • Fighting for What is Yours: Children should be taught to "fight tooth and nail" for their success rather than accepting an unfair world as an excuse for failure
"The way of the world is you go and you create a business and you start creating value and you get to reap the financial rewards of that." 


Chapter Markers

00:00 – Introduction to Deland McCullough and the Power of Authenticity
01:00 – The Story of the Chicago Barbershop
02:24 – When the City Inspector Shuts You Down
03:57 – The Landlord’s Lesson: Navigating Permits and Rules
05:00 – Understanding the "Default Mindset"
06:12 – Deland McCullough's NFL Journey and Rebuilding
08:34 – Instilling Self-Worth and Resilience in Our Sons
10:15 – Taking Risks and the Courage to Rebuild

Books, Links and Frameworks Mentioned

]]> parenting, raising boys, fatherhood No Navigating The Strong-Willed Path to Manhood with Kirk Martin 29 29 Navigating The Strong-Willed Path to Manhood with Kirk Martin full 7c1b42b3-6d12-4cc7-87c7-2fba3473470a https://share.transistor.fm/s/574ee9a4 In today’s episode of the Raising Men podcast, we sit down with Kirk Martin, founder of Celebrate Calm and host of the Calm Parenting Podcast. For more than two decades, Kirk has helped over a million parents stop the power struggles and build stronger relationships with their children. In this conversation, we explore how traits that make boys “difficult” today—arguing, stubbornness, intensity—can become the very strengths that lead to leadership, creativity, and resilience in adulthood. Kirk shares practical scripts, powerful reframes, and a refreshing perspective on parenting strong-willed kids. 

Key Takeaways

  1. The traits that frustrate parents today like stubbornness and arguing are often the same traits that create strong leaders later in life.
  2. Parents should stop trying to control their children and instead focus on controlling their own reactions.
  3. Strong-willed and neurodivergent kids often possess powerful skills like pattern recognition, creativity, and entrepreneurial thinking.
  4. The quickest way to calm a child is not through punishment but through connection, movement, and giving them a sense of control.
  5. Modeling humility and emotional regulation teaches boys more about masculinity than any lecture ever could.


Quotes from Kirk Martin

“Stop taking things personally. You're a grown man. Why are you reacting to a four-year-old like it's a personal attack?”


“The quickest way to change your child’s behavior is to first control your own.” "


Humility is leadership. It’s listening, problem solving, and being gracious with people.” 


Chapter Markers

00:00 — Stop Taking Kids’ Behavior Personally

01:37 — Difficult Traits Create Strong Leaders

02:29 — Reframing Stubbornness as a Strength

03:23 — Skills Hidden Inside Arguing

04:54 — Questioning Authority Is a Life Skill

06:01 — School Rewards the Wrong Skills

08:09 — When Boys Are Treated as a Threat

10:00 — Conan Brain vs Sherlock Brain

11:34 — Change Your Behavior First

13:09 — Parent Like a Leader, Not a Boss

14:12 — Curiosity Calms Conflict

15:50 — Discipline Through Direction, Not Punishment

16:24 — Channel Intensity Into Purpose

18:20 — Neurodivergence as a Superpower

20:05 — Decision-Making Beats Obedience

21:02 — Confidence Is Easily Crushed

22:48 — Compliance Doesn’t Equal Success

24:49 — Visionary Kids vs Rule Followers

26:56 — Your Biggest Problem Is Your Opportunity

29:03 — This Isn’t About Your Authority

30:52 — Staying Calm Changes Everything

32:57 — How to Actually Calm a Kid Down

35:34 — Matching Emotional Intensity

38:02 — Connection vs Independence

41:41 — Authority Doesn’t Need Proof

44:30 — Modeling Humility as Masculinity

46:36 — Final Takeaways for Parents


Books, Links, and References Mentioned

Celebrate Calm https://celebratecalm.com

Calm Parenting Podcast  https://celebratecalm.com/podcast

Teton National Park  https://www.nps.gov/grte/index.htm


Framework Mentioned

The Calm Parenting Script Framework

1. Control yourself first - The parent regulates their own posture, tone, and reaction.

2. Give the child control -  Offer a task or choice they can own.

3. Introduce movement -  Physical activity helps regulate emotions.

4. Offer connection through invitation -  “Come join me when you're ready.”

5. Validate intensity without excusing behavior -  Example: “If I were you, I’d be frustrated too.”


]]> In today’s episode of the Raising Men podcast, we sit down with Kirk Martin, founder of Celebrate Calm and host of the Calm Parenting Podcast. For more than two decades, Kirk has helped over a million parents stop the power struggles and build stronger relationships with their children. In this conversation, we explore how traits that make boys “difficult” today—arguing, stubbornness, intensity—can become the very strengths that lead to leadership, creativity, and resilience in adulthood. Kirk shares practical scripts, powerful reframes, and a refreshing perspective on parenting strong-willed kids. 

Key Takeaways

  1. The traits that frustrate parents today like stubbornness and arguing are often the same traits that create strong leaders later in life.
  2. Parents should stop trying to control their children and instead focus on controlling their own reactions.
  3. Strong-willed and neurodivergent kids often possess powerful skills like pattern recognition, creativity, and entrepreneurial thinking.
  4. The quickest way to calm a child is not through punishment but through connection, movement, and giving them a sense of control.
  5. Modeling humility and emotional regulation teaches boys more about masculinity than any lecture ever could.


Quotes from Kirk Martin

“Stop taking things personally. You're a grown man. Why are you reacting to a four-year-old like it's a personal attack?”


“The quickest way to change your child’s behavior is to first control your own.” "


Humility is leadership. It’s listening, problem solving, and being gracious with people.” 


Chapter Markers

00:00 — Stop Taking Kids’ Behavior Personally

01:37 — Difficult Traits Create Strong Leaders

02:29 — Reframing Stubbornness as a Strength

03:23 — Skills Hidden Inside Arguing

04:54 — Questioning Authority Is a Life Skill

06:01 — School Rewards the Wrong Skills

08:09 — When Boys Are Treated as a Threat

10:00 — Conan Brain vs Sherlock Brain

11:34 — Change Your Behavior First

13:09 — Parent Like a Leader, Not a Boss

14:12 — Curiosity Calms Conflict

15:50 — Discipline Through Direction, Not Punishment

16:24 — Channel Intensity Into Purpose

18:20 — Neurodivergence as a Superpower

20:05 — Decision-Making Beats Obedience

21:02 — Confidence Is Easily Crushed

22:48 — Compliance Doesn’t Equal Success

24:49 — Visionary Kids vs Rule Followers

26:56 — Your Biggest Problem Is Your Opportunity

29:03 — This Isn’t About Your Authority

30:52 — Staying Calm Changes Everything

32:57 — How to Actually Calm a Kid Down

35:34 — Matching Emotional Intensity

38:02 — Connection vs Independence

41:41 — Authority Doesn’t Need Proof

44:30 — Modeling Humility as Masculinity

46:36 — Final Takeaways for Parents


Books, Links, and References Mentioned

Celebrate Calm https://celebratecalm.com

Calm Parenting Podcast  https://celebratecalm.com/podcast

Teton National Park  https://www.nps.gov/grte/index.htm


Framework Mentioned

The Calm Parenting Script Framework

1. Control yourself first - The parent regulates their own posture, tone, and reaction.

2. Give the child control -  Offer a task or choice they can own.

3. Introduce movement -  Physical activity helps regulate emotions.

4. Offer connection through invitation -  “Come join me when you're ready.”

5. Validate intensity without excusing behavior -  Example: “If I were you, I’d be frustrated too.”


]]> Mon, 20 Apr 2026 06:15:00 -0700 Shaun Dawson Shaun Dawson 2839 In today’s episode of the Raising Men podcast, we sit down with Kirk Martin, founder of Celebrate Calm and host of the Calm Parenting Podcast. For more than two decades, Kirk has helped over a million parents stop the power struggles and build stronger relationships with their children. In this conversation, we explore how traits that make boys “difficult” today—arguing, stubbornness, intensity—can become the very strengths that lead to leadership, creativity, and resilience in adulthood. Kirk shares practical scripts, powerful reframes, and a refreshing perspective on parenting strong-willed kids. 

Key Takeaways

  1. The traits that frustrate parents today like stubbornness and arguing are often the same traits that create strong leaders later in life.
  2. Parents should stop trying to control their children and instead focus on controlling their own reactions.
  3. Strong-willed and neurodivergent kids often possess powerful skills like pattern recognition, creativity, and entrepreneurial thinking.
  4. The quickest way to calm a child is not through punishment but through connection, movement, and giving them a sense of control.
  5. Modeling humility and emotional regulation teaches boys more about masculinity than any lecture ever could.


Quotes from Kirk Martin

“Stop taking things personally. You're a grown man. Why are you reacting to a four-year-old like it's a personal attack?”


“The quickest way to change your child’s behavior is to first control your own.” "


Humility is leadership. It’s listening, problem solving, and being gracious with people.” 


Chapter Markers

00:00 — Stop Taking Kids’ Behavior Personally

01:37 — Difficult Traits Create Strong Leaders

02:29 — Reframing Stubbornness as a Strength

03:23 — Skills Hidden Inside Arguing

04:54 — Questioning Authority Is a Life Skill

06:01 — School Rewards the Wrong Skills

08:09 — When Boys Are Treated as a Threat

10:00 — Conan Brain vs Sherlock Brain

11:34 — Change Your Behavior First

13:09 — Parent Like a Leader, Not a Boss

14:12 — Curiosity Calms Conflict

15:50 — Discipline Through Direction, Not Punishment

16:24 — Channel Intensity Into Purpose

18:20 — Neurodivergence as a Superpower

20:05 — Decision-Making Beats Obedience

21:02 — Confidence Is Easily Crushed

22:48 — Compliance Doesn’t Equal Success

24:49 — Visionary Kids vs Rule Followers

26:56 — Your Biggest Problem Is Your Opportunity

29:03 — This Isn’t About Your Authority

30:52 — Staying Calm Changes Everything

32:57 — How to Actually Calm a Kid Down

35:34 — Matching Emotional Intensity

38:02 — Connection vs Independence

41:41 — Authority Doesn’t Need Proof

44:30 — Modeling Humility as Masculinity

46:36 — Final Takeaways for Parents


Books, Links, and References Mentioned

Celebrate Calm https://celebratecalm.com

Calm Parenting Podcast  https://celebratecalm.com/podcast

Teton National Park  https://www.nps.gov/grte/index.htm


Framework Mentioned

The Calm Parenting Script Framework

1. Control yourself first - The parent regulates their own posture, tone, and reaction.

2. Give the child control -  Offer a task or choice they can own.

3. Introduce movement -  Physical activity helps regulate emotions.

4. Offer connection through invitation -  “Come join me when you're ready.”

5. Validate intensity without excusing behavior -  Example: “If I were you, I’d be frustrated too.”


]]> strong-willed kids, parenting No Helping Boys Express Feelings Without Defaulting to Anger 28 28 Helping Boys Express Feelings Without Defaulting to Anger full 9601252a-c225-4d4d-8cc6-2c03b4ff2d02 https://share.transistor.fm/s/ce2793f5 In this Q&A episode of Raising Men, host Shaun Dawson dives into some of the most pressing parenting challenges shared by listeners. Drawing on insights from past guests like Steve Biddulph, Eric Davis, Ryan Walton, and Devin Kuntzmann, Shaun unpacks why boys often express emotions through anger, how parents fall into reactive patterns when exhausted, and what it really takes to raise resilient, emotionally strong young men.

Key takeaways

  • Boys' nervous systems react more intensely to stress from infancy.
  • Anger in boys often masks vulnerability and fear.
  • Suppressing emotions can hinder a boy's purpose and passions.
  • Parents should model healthy emotional expression and leadership.
  • Taking breaks and declaring fatigue can prevent reactive anger.


"Yelling damages long-term connection."


"Pull over when your engine overheats."


"Reprogram your childhood programming."


Chapters

00:00 Forging Men: The Blueprint for Parenting
01:24 Understanding Anger: Boys and Emotional Expression
08:12 Breaking the Cycle: Managing Parental Anger
16:27 Tactical Wisdom: Learning from Past Mistakes

Steve Biddulph  https://raising.men/episodes/why-boys-are-falling-behind-and-what-we-can-do-about-it-with-steve-biddulph/transcript
Eric Davis - https://raising.men/episodes/beyond-the-battlefield-a-navy-seal-s-guide-to-raising-good-men-with-eric-davis
Ryan Walton - https://raising.men/episodes/raising-brave-boys-in-a-fearful-world-with-ryan-walton/transcript
Devon Kuntzmann - https://raising.men/episodes/from-chaos-to-calm-devon-kuntzman-on-thriving-through-toddlerhood

]]> In this Q&A episode of Raising Men, host Shaun Dawson dives into some of the most pressing parenting challenges shared by listeners. Drawing on insights from past guests like Steve Biddulph, Eric Davis, Ryan Walton, and Devin Kuntzmann, Shaun unpacks why boys often express emotions through anger, how parents fall into reactive patterns when exhausted, and what it really takes to raise resilient, emotionally strong young men.

Key takeaways

  • Boys' nervous systems react more intensely to stress from infancy.
  • Anger in boys often masks vulnerability and fear.
  • Suppressing emotions can hinder a boy's purpose and passions.
  • Parents should model healthy emotional expression and leadership.
  • Taking breaks and declaring fatigue can prevent reactive anger.


"Yelling damages long-term connection."


"Pull over when your engine overheats."


"Reprogram your childhood programming."


Chapters

00:00 Forging Men: The Blueprint for Parenting
01:24 Understanding Anger: Boys and Emotional Expression
08:12 Breaking the Cycle: Managing Parental Anger
16:27 Tactical Wisdom: Learning from Past Mistakes

Steve Biddulph  https://raising.men/episodes/why-boys-are-falling-behind-and-what-we-can-do-about-it-with-steve-biddulph/transcript
Eric Davis - https://raising.men/episodes/beyond-the-battlefield-a-navy-seal-s-guide-to-raising-good-men-with-eric-davis
Ryan Walton - https://raising.men/episodes/raising-brave-boys-in-a-fearful-world-with-ryan-walton/transcript
Devon Kuntzmann - https://raising.men/episodes/from-chaos-to-calm-devon-kuntzman-on-thriving-through-toddlerhood

]]> Thu, 16 Apr 2026 03:00:00 -0700 Shaun Dawson Shaun Dawson 964 In this Q&A episode of Raising Men, host Shaun Dawson dives into some of the most pressing parenting challenges shared by listeners. Drawing on insights from past guests like Steve Biddulph, Eric Davis, Ryan Walton, and Devin Kuntzmann, Shaun unpacks why boys often express emotions through anger, how parents fall into reactive patterns when exhausted, and what it really takes to raise resilient, emotionally strong young men.

Key takeaways

  • Boys' nervous systems react more intensely to stress from infancy.
  • Anger in boys often masks vulnerability and fear.
  • Suppressing emotions can hinder a boy's purpose and passions.
  • Parents should model healthy emotional expression and leadership.
  • Taking breaks and declaring fatigue can prevent reactive anger.


"Yelling damages long-term connection."


"Pull over when your engine overheats."


"Reprogram your childhood programming."


Chapters

00:00 Forging Men: The Blueprint for Parenting
01:24 Understanding Anger: Boys and Emotional Expression
08:12 Breaking the Cycle: Managing Parental Anger
16:27 Tactical Wisdom: Learning from Past Mistakes

Steve Biddulph  https://raising.men/episodes/why-boys-are-falling-behind-and-what-we-can-do-about-it-with-steve-biddulph/transcript
Eric Davis - https://raising.men/episodes/beyond-the-battlefield-a-navy-seal-s-guide-to-raising-good-men-with-eric-davis
Ryan Walton - https://raising.men/episodes/raising-brave-boys-in-a-fearful-world-with-ryan-walton/transcript
Devon Kuntzmann - https://raising.men/episodes/from-chaos-to-calm-devon-kuntzman-on-thriving-through-toddlerhood

]]> parenting, boys' emotions, anger management, emotional resilience, parenting tips, leadership, emotional intelligence, child development No What Boys Need Now: A Mindful Parenting Framework with Hunter Clarke-Fields 27 27 What Boys Need Now: A Mindful Parenting Framework with Hunter Clarke-Fields full 6a917f7e-0df4-4096-aa83-0107fbb584d6 https://share.transistor.fm/s/75461157 In this episode of Raising Men, Shaun sits down with mindfulness teacher, author, and parenting expert Hunter Clarke-Fields, bestselling author of Raising Good Humans and host of the Mindful Mama Podcast. Together they explore what it really means to raise a “good human,” why parents’ emotional regulation matters more than perfect parenting, and how mindfulness can transform the parent–child relationship. Hunter shares honest stories from her own parenting journey—including struggles with anger, learning to regulate herself, and repairing relationships with her kids—while offering practical tools parents can apply immediately. 

Key Takeaways

  1. The most powerful parenting tool is modeling emotional regulation rather than telling kids how to behave.
  2. Children absorb the emotional climate of the household, so parents’ nervous systems directly influence their kids.
  3. Yelling is usually an unconscious stress response, not a conscious parenting choice, and can be retrained over time.
  4. Repair after conflict—apologizing and reconnecting—can heal relationships even years later.
  5. Parenting works best when we balance guidance and influence rather than relying heavily on power, punishment, or rewards. 

Top Quotes from Hunter Clarke-Fields

“The best parenting we’re ever doing is in modeling. We can’t just tell our kids how to be—we have to live what we want them to learn.”


“No parent wakes up and decides they’re going to yell at their child today—it’s an unconscious stress response.”


“Our kids don’t need perfect parents. They need parents who mess up, repair, and show them how humans recover.” 

Chapter Markers

00:00 — Compassion for Parents Comes First

00:36 — Meet Hunter Clark-Fields

01:07 — What Is a “Good Human”?

01:47 — Comfort in Your Own Skin

02:32 — Parents Shape the Emotional Weather

03:48 — Kids Learn Regulation by Watching Us

05:10 — When a Parent’s Anxiety Derails a Child

06:01 — Why Slowing Down Saves Time

07:32 — Imperfect Parents Are Enough

08:27 — Why Yelling Shuts Down Learning

09:40 — Yelling Is a Nervous System Reaction

10:22 — Training the Nervous System Over Time

11:37 — Conan the Barbarian vs. Sherlock Holmes Brain

12:44 — Why Raising Good Humans Resonated

13:38 — Skill Breaks Down When We’re Activated

15:28 — Mindfulness as a Parenting Foundation

16:40 — Parenting Without Enough Support

17:14 — Why Humans Were Never Meant to Parent Alone

18:33 — Practice Changes the Brain

19:35 — A Skillful Way to Express Anger

20:29 — Anger Isn’t the Problem, Damage Is

21:20 — You Can Always Begin Again

22:11 — “I Didn’t Ruin My Child”

23:53 — Repair Matters More Than Perfection

25:54 — The Power of Apologizing to Kids

27:31 — Two Kids, Two Parenting Eras

28:22 — A More Relaxed Parent Changes Outcomes

30:43 — A Father’s Escalator Dilemma

34:05 — When Fear Gets Worse Instead of Better

35:20 — Why Rewards and Bribes Backfire

37:15 — Intrinsic Motivation Builds Character

37:48 — Carrying Your Own Baggage as a Parent

39:45 — Power vs. Influence in Parenting

41:12 — The Messy Middle of Gentle Parenting

42:28 — There Is No One-Size-Fits-All Approach

43:50 — One Principle: Slow Down and Protect Childhood

45:38 — Closing Credits

Books

Podcast

Social Media:
https://www.instagram.com/mindfulmamamentor/
https://www.facebook.com/135776546585922/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/mindfulmama


Training / Programs

  • Mindful Parenting Training — Hunter Clarke-Fields

Framework Mentioned

The Regulation → Response Parenting Framework

Hunter’s approach centers on a simple but powerful sequence:

  1. Regulate yourself first – calm the nervous system before reacting
  2. Pause before responding – create space between trigger and reaction
  3. Respond skillfully – choose communication that teaches rather than shames
  4. Repair when needed – reconnect and apologize after mistakes



]]> In this episode of Raising Men, Shaun sits down with mindfulness teacher, author, and parenting expert Hunter Clarke-Fields, bestselling author of Raising Good Humans and host of the Mindful Mama Podcast. Together they explore what it really means to raise a “good human,” why parents’ emotional regulation matters more than perfect parenting, and how mindfulness can transform the parent–child relationship. Hunter shares honest stories from her own parenting journey—including struggles with anger, learning to regulate herself, and repairing relationships with her kids—while offering practical tools parents can apply immediately. 

Key Takeaways

  1. The most powerful parenting tool is modeling emotional regulation rather than telling kids how to behave.
  2. Children absorb the emotional climate of the household, so parents’ nervous systems directly influence their kids.
  3. Yelling is usually an unconscious stress response, not a conscious parenting choice, and can be retrained over time.
  4. Repair after conflict—apologizing and reconnecting—can heal relationships even years later.
  5. Parenting works best when we balance guidance and influence rather than relying heavily on power, punishment, or rewards. 

Top Quotes from Hunter Clarke-Fields

“The best parenting we’re ever doing is in modeling. We can’t just tell our kids how to be—we have to live what we want them to learn.”


“No parent wakes up and decides they’re going to yell at their child today—it’s an unconscious stress response.”


“Our kids don’t need perfect parents. They need parents who mess up, repair, and show them how humans recover.” 

Chapter Markers

00:00 — Compassion for Parents Comes First

00:36 — Meet Hunter Clark-Fields

01:07 — What Is a “Good Human”?

01:47 — Comfort in Your Own Skin

02:32 — Parents Shape the Emotional Weather

03:48 — Kids Learn Regulation by Watching Us

05:10 — When a Parent’s Anxiety Derails a Child

06:01 — Why Slowing Down Saves Time

07:32 — Imperfect Parents Are Enough

08:27 — Why Yelling Shuts Down Learning

09:40 — Yelling Is a Nervous System Reaction

10:22 — Training the Nervous System Over Time

11:37 — Conan the Barbarian vs. Sherlock Holmes Brain

12:44 — Why Raising Good Humans Resonated

13:38 — Skill Breaks Down When We’re Activated

15:28 — Mindfulness as a Parenting Foundation

16:40 — Parenting Without Enough Support

17:14 — Why Humans Were Never Meant to Parent Alone

18:33 — Practice Changes the Brain

19:35 — A Skillful Way to Express Anger

20:29 — Anger Isn’t the Problem, Damage Is

21:20 — You Can Always Begin Again

22:11 — “I Didn’t Ruin My Child”

23:53 — Repair Matters More Than Perfection

25:54 — The Power of Apologizing to Kids

27:31 — Two Kids, Two Parenting Eras

28:22 — A More Relaxed Parent Changes Outcomes

30:43 — A Father’s Escalator Dilemma

34:05 — When Fear Gets Worse Instead of Better

35:20 — Why Rewards and Bribes Backfire

37:15 — Intrinsic Motivation Builds Character

37:48 — Carrying Your Own Baggage as a Parent

39:45 — Power vs. Influence in Parenting

41:12 — The Messy Middle of Gentle Parenting

42:28 — There Is No One-Size-Fits-All Approach

43:50 — One Principle: Slow Down and Protect Childhood

45:38 — Closing Credits

Books

Podcast

Social Media:
https://www.instagram.com/mindfulmamamentor/
https://www.facebook.com/135776546585922/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/mindfulmama


Training / Programs

  • Mindful Parenting Training — Hunter Clarke-Fields

Framework Mentioned

The Regulation → Response Parenting Framework

Hunter’s approach centers on a simple but powerful sequence:

  1. Regulate yourself first – calm the nervous system before reacting
  2. Pause before responding – create space between trigger and reaction
  3. Respond skillfully – choose communication that teaches rather than shames
  4. Repair when needed – reconnect and apologize after mistakes



]]> Mon, 13 Apr 2026 03:00:00 -0700 Shaun Dawson Shaun Dawson 2752 In this episode of Raising Men, Shaun sits down with mindfulness teacher, author, and parenting expert Hunter Clarke-Fields, bestselling author of Raising Good Humans and host of the Mindful Mama Podcast. Together they explore what it really means to raise a “good human,” why parents’ emotional regulation matters more than perfect parenting, and how mindfulness can transform the parent–child relationship. Hunter shares honest stories from her own parenting journey—including struggles with anger, learning to regulate herself, and repairing relationships with her kids—while offering practical tools parents can apply immediately. 

Key Takeaways

  1. The most powerful parenting tool is modeling emotional regulation rather than telling kids how to behave.
  2. Children absorb the emotional climate of the household, so parents’ nervous systems directly influence their kids.
  3. Yelling is usually an unconscious stress response, not a conscious parenting choice, and can be retrained over time.
  4. Repair after conflict—apologizing and reconnecting—can heal relationships even years later.
  5. Parenting works best when we balance guidance and influence rather than relying heavily on power, punishment, or rewards. 

Top Quotes from Hunter Clarke-Fields

“The best parenting we’re ever doing is in modeling. We can’t just tell our kids how to be—we have to live what we want them to learn.”


“No parent wakes up and decides they’re going to yell at their child today—it’s an unconscious stress response.”


“Our kids don’t need perfect parents. They need parents who mess up, repair, and show them how humans recover.” 

Chapter Markers

00:00 — Compassion for Parents Comes First

00:36 — Meet Hunter Clark-Fields

01:07 — What Is a “Good Human”?

01:47 — Comfort in Your Own Skin

02:32 — Parents Shape the Emotional Weather

03:48 — Kids Learn Regulation by Watching Us

05:10 — When a Parent’s Anxiety Derails a Child

06:01 — Why Slowing Down Saves Time

07:32 — Imperfect Parents Are Enough

08:27 — Why Yelling Shuts Down Learning

09:40 — Yelling Is a Nervous System Reaction

10:22 — Training the Nervous System Over Time

11:37 — Conan the Barbarian vs. Sherlock Holmes Brain

12:44 — Why Raising Good Humans Resonated

13:38 — Skill Breaks Down When We’re Activated

15:28 — Mindfulness as a Parenting Foundation

16:40 — Parenting Without Enough Support

17:14 — Why Humans Were Never Meant to Parent Alone

18:33 — Practice Changes the Brain

19:35 — A Skillful Way to Express Anger

20:29 — Anger Isn’t the Problem, Damage Is

21:20 — You Can Always Begin Again

22:11 — “I Didn’t Ruin My Child”

23:53 — Repair Matters More Than Perfection

25:54 — The Power of Apologizing to Kids

27:31 — Two Kids, Two Parenting Eras

28:22 — A More Relaxed Parent Changes Outcomes

30:43 — A Father’s Escalator Dilemma

34:05 — When Fear Gets Worse Instead of Better

35:20 — Why Rewards and Bribes Backfire

37:15 — Intrinsic Motivation Builds Character

37:48 — Carrying Your Own Baggage as a Parent

39:45 — Power vs. Influence in Parenting

41:12 — The Messy Middle of Gentle Parenting

42:28 — There Is No One-Size-Fits-All Approach

43:50 — One Principle: Slow Down and Protect Childhood

45:38 — Closing Credits

Books

Podcast

Social Media:
https://www.instagram.com/mindfulmamamentor/
https://www.facebook.com/135776546585922/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/mindfulmama


Training / Programs

  • Mindful Parenting Training — Hunter Clarke-Fields

Framework Mentioned

The Regulation → Response Parenting Framework

Hunter’s approach centers on a simple but powerful sequence:

  1. Regulate yourself first – calm the nervous system before reacting
  2. Pause before responding – create space between trigger and reaction
  3. Respond skillfully – choose communication that teaches rather than shames
  4. Repair when needed – reconnect and apologize after mistakes



]]> Mindful Parenting, emotional Regulation, Raising Good Humans, Parent-Child Relationships, Intrinsic Motivation No Q&A for Parents Raising Boys: Sensitivity, Defiance, and the Father Figure Gap 26 26 Q&A for Parents Raising Boys: Sensitivity, Defiance, and the Father Figure Gap full 0c0935c8-43b5-4090-9020-da77c3b776c2 https://share.transistor.fm/s/733e1b5c In this solo Q&A episode, Shaun Dawson answers some of the most common and emotionally charged parenting questions from the Raising Men community. Drawing on insights from past guests including child development experts, military leaders, and veteran fathers, Shaun unpacks how to raise boys with both strength and emotional health. This episode covers how to respond to a sensitive son, how to handle defiance without crushing a child’s spirit, and whether a surrogate male mentor can help fill the gap when a father is absent. 

Key Takeaways

  1.  Toughness is not built through emotional coldness but through secure attachment, challenge, and recovery. 
  2.  A sensitive boy is not weak — he may simply need guidance learning how to regulate and direct strong emotions. 
  3.  Defiance in young boys is often a test of agency, and leadership works better than coercion. 
  4.  Parents should aim to build a disciplined will in their sons rather than break their spirit. 
  5.  When a biological father is absent, intentional male mentors can still play a powerful role in shaping a boy’s path to manhood.
“Strength is built through recovery, not through struggle.” 


“You do not want a son with a broken will. You want a son with a disciplined will.” 


“You’re not just raising a kid. You are forging a man.”


00:00 Welcome to Raising Men
00:35 Question 1 — Should I toughen up my sensitive son?
01:05 Stoicism vs emotional shutdown
02:00 Why boys may be more emotionally fragile early on
03:00 Masculinity, purpose, and emotional strength
04:10 Why numbing emotions creates passive men
04:50 Intentional discomfort vs emotional abandonment
05:35 Question 2 — My 4-year-old is defiant. What do I do?
06:05 Why defiance is often a test of agency
06:45 Play, connection, and boundaries
07:15 Respect, leadership, and family drills
08:20 Don’t break his will — discipline it
09:05 Question 3 — Can a mentor replace a father?
09:40 Why male role models matter
10:20 The “general manager” role in parenting
11:10 What to look for in a surrogate father figure
12:15 Why boys need mentors before adolescence
13:00 Final encouragement for parents
14:00 Closing thoughts and call to action

People / Guests Mentioned

  • Steve Biddulph
    Referenced for his work on boys’ emotional development and the mentor phase in adolescence. 
  • Eric Davis
    Referenced for ideas around modern masculinity, intentional discomfort, earned respect, and dad-shaped leadership gaps. 
  • Ryan Walton
    Referenced for emotional avoidance, discipline, and framing struggle as a gift. 
  • Devin Kuntzman
    Referenced for the idea that play and connection outperform coercion in parenting. 
  • Lt. Gen. Mark Hertling
    Referenced for the “general manager” model of fatherhood and leadership from a distance. 
  • Emily Houston
    Referenced for the importance of finding male mentors who navigate the modern world with integrity. 

Book Mentioned

  • Raising Men by Eric Davis
    Mentioned as a book written to address the “dad-shaped hole” many boys experience growing up. 


]]> In this solo Q&A episode, Shaun Dawson answers some of the most common and emotionally charged parenting questions from the Raising Men community. Drawing on insights from past guests including child development experts, military leaders, and veteran fathers, Shaun unpacks how to raise boys with both strength and emotional health. This episode covers how to respond to a sensitive son, how to handle defiance without crushing a child’s spirit, and whether a surrogate male mentor can help fill the gap when a father is absent. 

Key Takeaways

  1.  Toughness is not built through emotional coldness but through secure attachment, challenge, and recovery. 
  2.  A sensitive boy is not weak — he may simply need guidance learning how to regulate and direct strong emotions. 
  3.  Defiance in young boys is often a test of agency, and leadership works better than coercion. 
  4.  Parents should aim to build a disciplined will in their sons rather than break their spirit. 
  5.  When a biological father is absent, intentional male mentors can still play a powerful role in shaping a boy’s path to manhood.
“Strength is built through recovery, not through struggle.” 


“You do not want a son with a broken will. You want a son with a disciplined will.” 


“You’re not just raising a kid. You are forging a man.”


00:00 Welcome to Raising Men
00:35 Question 1 — Should I toughen up my sensitive son?
01:05 Stoicism vs emotional shutdown
02:00 Why boys may be more emotionally fragile early on
03:00 Masculinity, purpose, and emotional strength
04:10 Why numbing emotions creates passive men
04:50 Intentional discomfort vs emotional abandonment
05:35 Question 2 — My 4-year-old is defiant. What do I do?
06:05 Why defiance is often a test of agency
06:45 Play, connection, and boundaries
07:15 Respect, leadership, and family drills
08:20 Don’t break his will — discipline it
09:05 Question 3 — Can a mentor replace a father?
09:40 Why male role models matter
10:20 The “general manager” role in parenting
11:10 What to look for in a surrogate father figure
12:15 Why boys need mentors before adolescence
13:00 Final encouragement for parents
14:00 Closing thoughts and call to action

People / Guests Mentioned

  • Steve Biddulph
    Referenced for his work on boys’ emotional development and the mentor phase in adolescence. 
  • Eric Davis
    Referenced for ideas around modern masculinity, intentional discomfort, earned respect, and dad-shaped leadership gaps. 
  • Ryan Walton
    Referenced for emotional avoidance, discipline, and framing struggle as a gift. 
  • Devin Kuntzman
    Referenced for the idea that play and connection outperform coercion in parenting. 
  • Lt. Gen. Mark Hertling
    Referenced for the “general manager” model of fatherhood and leadership from a distance. 
  • Emily Houston
    Referenced for the importance of finding male mentors who navigate the modern world with integrity. 

Book Mentioned

  • Raising Men by Eric Davis
    Mentioned as a book written to address the “dad-shaped hole” many boys experience growing up. 


]]> Thu, 09 Apr 2026 03:00:00 -0700 Shaun Dawson Shaun Dawson 865 In this solo Q&A episode, Shaun Dawson answers some of the most common and emotionally charged parenting questions from the Raising Men community. Drawing on insights from past guests including child development experts, military leaders, and veteran fathers, Shaun unpacks how to raise boys with both strength and emotional health. This episode covers how to respond to a sensitive son, how to handle defiance without crushing a child’s spirit, and whether a surrogate male mentor can help fill the gap when a father is absent. 

Key Takeaways

  1.  Toughness is not built through emotional coldness but through secure attachment, challenge, and recovery. 
  2.  A sensitive boy is not weak — he may simply need guidance learning how to regulate and direct strong emotions. 
  3.  Defiance in young boys is often a test of agency, and leadership works better than coercion. 
  4.  Parents should aim to build a disciplined will in their sons rather than break their spirit. 
  5.  When a biological father is absent, intentional male mentors can still play a powerful role in shaping a boy’s path to manhood.
“Strength is built through recovery, not through struggle.” 


“You do not want a son with a broken will. You want a son with a disciplined will.” 


“You’re not just raising a kid. You are forging a man.”


00:00 Welcome to Raising Men
00:35 Question 1 — Should I toughen up my sensitive son?
01:05 Stoicism vs emotional shutdown
02:00 Why boys may be more emotionally fragile early on
03:00 Masculinity, purpose, and emotional strength
04:10 Why numbing emotions creates passive men
04:50 Intentional discomfort vs emotional abandonment
05:35 Question 2 — My 4-year-old is defiant. What do I do?
06:05 Why defiance is often a test of agency
06:45 Play, connection, and boundaries
07:15 Respect, leadership, and family drills
08:20 Don’t break his will — discipline it
09:05 Question 3 — Can a mentor replace a father?
09:40 Why male role models matter
10:20 The “general manager” role in parenting
11:10 What to look for in a surrogate father figure
12:15 Why boys need mentors before adolescence
13:00 Final encouragement for parents
14:00 Closing thoughts and call to action

People / Guests Mentioned

  • Steve Biddulph
    Referenced for his work on boys’ emotional development and the mentor phase in adolescence. 
  • Eric Davis
    Referenced for ideas around modern masculinity, intentional discomfort, earned respect, and dad-shaped leadership gaps. 
  • Ryan Walton
    Referenced for emotional avoidance, discipline, and framing struggle as a gift. 
  • Devin Kuntzman
    Referenced for the idea that play and connection outperform coercion in parenting. 
  • Lt. Gen. Mark Hertling
    Referenced for the “general manager” model of fatherhood and leadership from a distance. 
  • Emily Houston
    Referenced for the importance of finding male mentors who navigate the modern world with integrity. 

Book Mentioned

  • Raising Men by Eric Davis
    Mentioned as a book written to address the “dad-shaped hole” many boys experience growing up. 


]]> parenting, raising boys, fatherhood No Navigating the Masculinity Crisis with Deland McCullough 25 25 Navigating the Masculinity Crisis with Deland McCullough full 8b19a857-6630-472c-bd0c-32b5936321c6 https://share.transistor.fm/s/320a8777 In this episode of Raising Men, Shaun sits down with former NFL player and current Las Vegas Raiders running backs coach Deland McCullough. Deland shares a powerful journey that began with adoption, fatherlessness, and adversity in Youngstown, Ohio. Through football, mentorship, relentless work ethic, and a deep commitment to helping young men reach their potential, Deland built a remarkable career as a player, educator, and coach. His story explores masculinity, emotional development, mentorship, and the generational impact men can have when they choose to lead with purpose. 

Key Takeaways

  1. Masculinity is not about suppressing emotion but about learning how to express feelings in healthy ways.
  2. The environment you grow up in may shape you, but it does not have to determine your destiny.
  3. Hard work often unlocks talent that people don’t initially see in themselves.
  4. Mentors and role models can completely change the trajectory of a young man’s life.
  5. The most meaningful success comes from helping others realize their potential.

3. Top Quotes from Deland

 “Football wasn’t just a sport for me. It was a structure. It was an outlet.”


 “You may not be looking for a father, but I’m going to treat you like you’re my son.”


 “Hard work unlocked the talent.”

Chapter Markers

00:00 — The Poster on the Wall That Set the Vision

01:05 — Believing Bigger Before It Was Possible

02:12 — Early Coaching Dreams at Miami

03:18 — Letting Life Unfold Without a Master Plan

04:25 — Parallel Paths Without Knowing It

05:38 — Both Starting in High School Coaching

06:45 — First College Job at the Same Program

07:58 — Moving Through the Big Ten Separately

09:10 — Reaching the NFL on Different Roads

10:28 — Both Making It to the Super Bowl

11:35 — Losing to Tom Brady

12:30 — When Your Nemesis Becomes Your Boss

13:32 — Realizing the Pattern Was Too Similar

14:45 — Deciding to Search for His Biological Family

16:02 — Adoption Records Finally Opening

17:25 — Discovering His Mother’s Identity

18:40 — Learning His Father Was Right There All Along

20:05 — The Weight of Telling the Truth

21:24 — Calling the Man He’d Known as Coach

22:48 — “Your Biological Father Is You”

24:12 — Processing the Shock on Both Sides

25:58 — Agreeing to a DNA Test

27:05 — Waiting for Confirmation

28:22 — The Test Comes Back 99.9%

29:30 — Talking Every Day After the Results

30:52 — Seeing Himself in Old Photos

32:10 — Meeting His Biological Mother

34:05 — Recognizing Yourself in the Mirror

36:00 — Ten Minutes Was All It Took

37:48 — Driving to Meet His Father as a Son

39:10 — “My Son” at the Door

40:42 — A Moment That Changed Everything

42:05 — The Pain His Father Had to Carry

43:50 — Turning Pain Into Purpose

45:24 — Becoming the Father He Never Had

47:10 — Four Sons as the Ultimate Blessing

49:02 — Refusing to Repeat the Past

50:40 — Fatherhood as the Crown Jewel

52:31 — Raising Grounded Men With Privilege

54:18 — Intention Over Perfection

56:02 — Building a Mental Library of Counterexamples

58:10 — Teaching Boys Through Presence

01:00:21 — One Principle for Raising Excellent Men

01:02:32 — Detailed, Dependable, Disciplined

01:05:10 — Discipline Matters Most Under Pressure

01:07:30 — Excellence Is Failing Less Over Time

01:10:05 — Knowing the Standard Before You Measure

01:12:18 — Being a Blessing or a Lesson

01:14:38 — Treating Players Like Sons

01:17:05 — Extending Fatherhood Beyond Family

01:19:30 — Final Reflections on Raising Men

01:39:03 — Closing Credits

Books, Links, and References Mentioned

Runs in the Family:  Co-authored by Deland McCullough and Sarah Spain
https://www.harpercollins.com/products/runs-in-the-family-deland-mccullough-sarah-spain

Why Gender Matters by Leonard Sax
https://www.leonardsax.com/why-gender-matters/

Framework Mentioned

Deland describes the idea of emotional DNA as the patterns we inherit from how we were raised. These patterns influence how men handle emotions, masculinity, relationships, and fatherhood. Recognizing these inherited behaviors allows men to break negative cycles and intentionally raise the next generation differently.


]]> In this episode of Raising Men, Shaun sits down with former NFL player and current Las Vegas Raiders running backs coach Deland McCullough. Deland shares a powerful journey that began with adoption, fatherlessness, and adversity in Youngstown, Ohio. Through football, mentorship, relentless work ethic, and a deep commitment to helping young men reach their potential, Deland built a remarkable career as a player, educator, and coach. His story explores masculinity, emotional development, mentorship, and the generational impact men can have when they choose to lead with purpose. 

Key Takeaways

  1. Masculinity is not about suppressing emotion but about learning how to express feelings in healthy ways.
  2. The environment you grow up in may shape you, but it does not have to determine your destiny.
  3. Hard work often unlocks talent that people don’t initially see in themselves.
  4. Mentors and role models can completely change the trajectory of a young man’s life.
  5. The most meaningful success comes from helping others realize their potential.

3. Top Quotes from Deland

 “Football wasn’t just a sport for me. It was a structure. It was an outlet.”


 “You may not be looking for a father, but I’m going to treat you like you’re my son.”


 “Hard work unlocked the talent.”

Chapter Markers

00:00 — The Poster on the Wall That Set the Vision

01:05 — Believing Bigger Before It Was Possible

02:12 — Early Coaching Dreams at Miami

03:18 — Letting Life Unfold Without a Master Plan

04:25 — Parallel Paths Without Knowing It

05:38 — Both Starting in High School Coaching

06:45 — First College Job at the Same Program

07:58 — Moving Through the Big Ten Separately

09:10 — Reaching the NFL on Different Roads

10:28 — Both Making It to the Super Bowl

11:35 — Losing to Tom Brady

12:30 — When Your Nemesis Becomes Your Boss

13:32 — Realizing the Pattern Was Too Similar

14:45 — Deciding to Search for His Biological Family

16:02 — Adoption Records Finally Opening

17:25 — Discovering His Mother’s Identity

18:40 — Learning His Father Was Right There All Along

20:05 — The Weight of Telling the Truth

21:24 — Calling the Man He’d Known as Coach

22:48 — “Your Biological Father Is You”

24:12 — Processing the Shock on Both Sides

25:58 — Agreeing to a DNA Test

27:05 — Waiting for Confirmation

28:22 — The Test Comes Back 99.9%

29:30 — Talking Every Day After the Results

30:52 — Seeing Himself in Old Photos

32:10 — Meeting His Biological Mother

34:05 — Recognizing Yourself in the Mirror

36:00 — Ten Minutes Was All It Took

37:48 — Driving to Meet His Father as a Son

39:10 — “My Son” at the Door

40:42 — A Moment That Changed Everything

42:05 — The Pain His Father Had to Carry

43:50 — Turning Pain Into Purpose

45:24 — Becoming the Father He Never Had

47:10 — Four Sons as the Ultimate Blessing

49:02 — Refusing to Repeat the Past

50:40 — Fatherhood as the Crown Jewel

52:31 — Raising Grounded Men With Privilege

54:18 — Intention Over Perfection

56:02 — Building a Mental Library of Counterexamples

58:10 — Teaching Boys Through Presence

01:00:21 — One Principle for Raising Excellent Men

01:02:32 — Detailed, Dependable, Disciplined

01:05:10 — Discipline Matters Most Under Pressure

01:07:30 — Excellence Is Failing Less Over Time

01:10:05 — Knowing the Standard Before You Measure

01:12:18 — Being a Blessing or a Lesson

01:14:38 — Treating Players Like Sons

01:17:05 — Extending Fatherhood Beyond Family

01:19:30 — Final Reflections on Raising Men

01:39:03 — Closing Credits

Books, Links, and References Mentioned

Runs in the Family:  Co-authored by Deland McCullough and Sarah Spain
https://www.harpercollins.com/products/runs-in-the-family-deland-mccullough-sarah-spain

Why Gender Matters by Leonard Sax
https://www.leonardsax.com/why-gender-matters/

Framework Mentioned

Deland describes the idea of emotional DNA as the patterns we inherit from how we were raised. These patterns influence how men handle emotions, masculinity, relationships, and fatherhood. Recognizing these inherited behaviors allows men to break negative cycles and intentionally raise the next generation differently.


]]> Mon, 06 Apr 2026 03:00:00 -0700 Shaun Dawson Shaun Dawson 5957 In this episode of Raising Men, Shaun sits down with former NFL player and current Las Vegas Raiders running backs coach Deland McCullough. Deland shares a powerful journey that began with adoption, fatherlessness, and adversity in Youngstown, Ohio. Through football, mentorship, relentless work ethic, and a deep commitment to helping young men reach their potential, Deland built a remarkable career as a player, educator, and coach. His story explores masculinity, emotional development, mentorship, and the generational impact men can have when they choose to lead with purpose. 

Key Takeaways

  1. Masculinity is not about suppressing emotion but about learning how to express feelings in healthy ways.
  2. The environment you grow up in may shape you, but it does not have to determine your destiny.
  3. Hard work often unlocks talent that people don’t initially see in themselves.
  4. Mentors and role models can completely change the trajectory of a young man’s life.
  5. The most meaningful success comes from helping others realize their potential.

3. Top Quotes from Deland

 “Football wasn’t just a sport for me. It was a structure. It was an outlet.”


 “You may not be looking for a father, but I’m going to treat you like you’re my son.”


 “Hard work unlocked the talent.”

Chapter Markers

00:00 — The Poster on the Wall That Set the Vision

01:05 — Believing Bigger Before It Was Possible

02:12 — Early Coaching Dreams at Miami

03:18 — Letting Life Unfold Without a Master Plan

04:25 — Parallel Paths Without Knowing It

05:38 — Both Starting in High School Coaching

06:45 — First College Job at the Same Program

07:58 — Moving Through the Big Ten Separately

09:10 — Reaching the NFL on Different Roads

10:28 — Both Making It to the Super Bowl

11:35 — Losing to Tom Brady

12:30 — When Your Nemesis Becomes Your Boss

13:32 — Realizing the Pattern Was Too Similar

14:45 — Deciding to Search for His Biological Family

16:02 — Adoption Records Finally Opening

17:25 — Discovering His Mother’s Identity

18:40 — Learning His Father Was Right There All Along

20:05 — The Weight of Telling the Truth

21:24 — Calling the Man He’d Known as Coach

22:48 — “Your Biological Father Is You”

24:12 — Processing the Shock on Both Sides

25:58 — Agreeing to a DNA Test

27:05 — Waiting for Confirmation

28:22 — The Test Comes Back 99.9%

29:30 — Talking Every Day After the Results

30:52 — Seeing Himself in Old Photos

32:10 — Meeting His Biological Mother

34:05 — Recognizing Yourself in the Mirror

36:00 — Ten Minutes Was All It Took

37:48 — Driving to Meet His Father as a Son

39:10 — “My Son” at the Door

40:42 — A Moment That Changed Everything

42:05 — The Pain His Father Had to Carry

43:50 — Turning Pain Into Purpose

45:24 — Becoming the Father He Never Had

47:10 — Four Sons as the Ultimate Blessing

49:02 — Refusing to Repeat the Past

50:40 — Fatherhood as the Crown Jewel

52:31 — Raising Grounded Men With Privilege

54:18 — Intention Over Perfection

56:02 — Building a Mental Library of Counterexamples

58:10 — Teaching Boys Through Presence

01:00:21 — One Principle for Raising Excellent Men

01:02:32 — Detailed, Dependable, Disciplined

01:05:10 — Discipline Matters Most Under Pressure

01:07:30 — Excellence Is Failing Less Over Time

01:10:05 — Knowing the Standard Before You Measure

01:12:18 — Being a Blessing or a Lesson

01:14:38 — Treating Players Like Sons

01:17:05 — Extending Fatherhood Beyond Family

01:19:30 — Final Reflections on Raising Men

01:39:03 — Closing Credits

Books, Links, and References Mentioned

Runs in the Family:  Co-authored by Deland McCullough and Sarah Spain
https://www.harpercollins.com/products/runs-in-the-family-deland-mccullough-sarah-spain

Why Gender Matters by Leonard Sax
https://www.leonardsax.com/why-gender-matters/

Framework Mentioned

Deland describes the idea of emotional DNA as the patterns we inherit from how we were raised. These patterns influence how men handle emotions, masculinity, relationships, and fatherhood. Recognizing these inherited behaviors allows men to break negative cycles and intentionally raise the next generation differently.


]]> masculinity, mentorship, fatherhood, resilience, purpose No Beyond the Battlefield: A Navy SEAL’s Guide to Raising Good Men with Eric Davis 24 24 Beyond the Battlefield: A Navy SEAL’s Guide to Raising Good Men with Eric Davis full 00b8ec5c-d0f5-4268-ab85-4eb948d842ec https://share.transistor.fm/s/240febf4 In this episode of the Raising Men podcast, Shaun sits down with former Navy SEAL, master sniper instructor, and author Eric Davis, whose book Raising Men helped inspire the very foundation of this show. Eric shares the deeply personal story that drove him to explore masculinity, fatherhood, and the role men play in shaping the next generation.

The conversation explores the modern masculinity crisis, why traditional models of manhood are failing many young men, and how fathers can intentionally raise resilient, purpose-driven sons. Drawing on his experiences in SEAL training, entrepreneurship, and parenting, Eric introduces his framework for modern masculinity and explains how fathers can lead their families with clarity, purpose, and example.

Key Takeaways

  1. Traditional masculinity is failing not because it was wrong but because the modern world has changed and requires new strengths.
  2. A man’s role is to use his passions to harmoniously fulfill and care for his personal, financial, and professional purposes.
  3. Resilience is not a personality trait but a skill that can be trained by maintaining and restoring the ability to act.
  4. Fathers must lead from the front by living the life they hope their children will one day emulate.
  5. Intentional parenting requires clarity of language, purpose, and example rather than vague ideas about what manhood should be.

Quotes from Eric Davis

“Traditional masculinity didn’t fail because it was broken — it failed because the environment changed.”


“The role of a father is to use his passions to harmoniously fulfill and care for his personal, financial, and professional purposes.”


 “If you’re living a good intentional life, your children will eventually follow it.” 


Chapter Markers

00:00 — Why Strong Families Make a Strong Country

00:46 — Introducing Eric Davis and the Philosophy of Raising Men

01:37 — The Masculinity Crisis and Why This Podcast Exists

02:09 — Losing His Father at 16 and Searching for Male Guidance

04:06 — Is There Really a Masculinity Crisis?

05:00 — The Problem With “Traditional” Masculinity Online

07:49 — Defining Modern Masculinity

08:33 — Using Passion to Fulfil Life’s Purposes

11:01 — Why Purpose Helps Young Men Avoid Distraction

12:00 — Lessons From SEAL Training for Raising Sons

13:03 — Discipline, Consequences, and Teaching Responsibility

14:00 — Adventure and Outdoor Challenges as Parenting Tools

15:00 — Why Resilience Is Central to SEAL Training

15:33 — The Difference Between Perseverance and Resilience

16:16 — How SEAL Training Builds Resilience

18:00 — Why Some Candidates Secretly Quit

19:03 — The Mental Game of Enduring Hardship

21:27 — Don’t Borrow Suffering From the Future

22:05 — Turning Outdoor Experiences Into Life Lessons

23:05 — Parenting With Intention and Clear Outcomes

24:10 — Teaching Kids Identity Through Shared Experiences

26:41 — Why Boys Need Modern Rites of Passage

28:13 — The Importance of Serious Responsibility in Manhood

29:12 — Why Clear Language and Definitions Matter

30:00 — How Families Create a Strong Nation

31:10 — Why Old Work Models Are Failing Modern Fathers

32:00 — Defining Purpose in Life

34:16 — Why Personal Life Often Gets Sacrificed for Work

35:00 — Aligning Your Life Around Your True Purposes

36:13 — Purpose Already Exists—You Just Need Awareness

37:16 — Designing Life Around What Actually Matters

39:05 — The One Principle Every Parent Should Follow

40:03 — Lead From the Front as a Father

41:06 — Final Thoughts on Raising Sons

41:55 — Podcast Outro


Books, Links, and References

Raising Men: Lessons Navy SEALs Learned From Their Training and Taught to Their Sons – Eric Davis

Eric Davis Official Website https://ericdavis215.com

https://instagram.com/eric_davis215


Eric Davis’s Modern Masculinity Framework

A father’s role is to: Use his passions to harmoniously fulfill and care for his personal, financial, and professional purposes.


Key Components

  1. Passion
     Living authentically and using personal strengths and interests.
  2. Purpose
     Understanding and caring for the key domains of life.
  3. Harmony
     Balancing life domains so no major area breaks down.
  4. Leadership by Example
     Fathers must model the life they want their children to build.
  5. Resilience Development
     Building the capacity to maintain and restore the ability to act under stress.


]]> In this episode of the Raising Men podcast, Shaun sits down with former Navy SEAL, master sniper instructor, and author Eric Davis, whose book Raising Men helped inspire the very foundation of this show. Eric shares the deeply personal story that drove him to explore masculinity, fatherhood, and the role men play in shaping the next generation.

The conversation explores the modern masculinity crisis, why traditional models of manhood are failing many young men, and how fathers can intentionally raise resilient, purpose-driven sons. Drawing on his experiences in SEAL training, entrepreneurship, and parenting, Eric introduces his framework for modern masculinity and explains how fathers can lead their families with clarity, purpose, and example.

Key Takeaways

  1. Traditional masculinity is failing not because it was wrong but because the modern world has changed and requires new strengths.
  2. A man’s role is to use his passions to harmoniously fulfill and care for his personal, financial, and professional purposes.
  3. Resilience is not a personality trait but a skill that can be trained by maintaining and restoring the ability to act.
  4. Fathers must lead from the front by living the life they hope their children will one day emulate.
  5. Intentional parenting requires clarity of language, purpose, and example rather than vague ideas about what manhood should be.

Quotes from Eric Davis

“Traditional masculinity didn’t fail because it was broken — it failed because the environment changed.”


“The role of a father is to use his passions to harmoniously fulfill and care for his personal, financial, and professional purposes.”


 “If you’re living a good intentional life, your children will eventually follow it.” 


Chapter Markers

00:00 — Why Strong Families Make a Strong Country

00:46 — Introducing Eric Davis and the Philosophy of Raising Men

01:37 — The Masculinity Crisis and Why This Podcast Exists

02:09 — Losing His Father at 16 and Searching for Male Guidance

04:06 — Is There Really a Masculinity Crisis?

05:00 — The Problem With “Traditional” Masculinity Online

07:49 — Defining Modern Masculinity

08:33 — Using Passion to Fulfil Life’s Purposes

11:01 — Why Purpose Helps Young Men Avoid Distraction

12:00 — Lessons From SEAL Training for Raising Sons

13:03 — Discipline, Consequences, and Teaching Responsibility

14:00 — Adventure and Outdoor Challenges as Parenting Tools

15:00 — Why Resilience Is Central to SEAL Training

15:33 — The Difference Between Perseverance and Resilience

16:16 — How SEAL Training Builds Resilience

18:00 — Why Some Candidates Secretly Quit

19:03 — The Mental Game of Enduring Hardship

21:27 — Don’t Borrow Suffering From the Future

22:05 — Turning Outdoor Experiences Into Life Lessons

23:05 — Parenting With Intention and Clear Outcomes

24:10 — Teaching Kids Identity Through Shared Experiences

26:41 — Why Boys Need Modern Rites of Passage

28:13 — The Importance of Serious Responsibility in Manhood

29:12 — Why Clear Language and Definitions Matter

30:00 — How Families Create a Strong Nation

31:10 — Why Old Work Models Are Failing Modern Fathers

32:00 — Defining Purpose in Life

34:16 — Why Personal Life Often Gets Sacrificed for Work

35:00 — Aligning Your Life Around Your True Purposes

36:13 — Purpose Already Exists—You Just Need Awareness

37:16 — Designing Life Around What Actually Matters

39:05 — The One Principle Every Parent Should Follow

40:03 — Lead From the Front as a Father

41:06 — Final Thoughts on Raising Sons

41:55 — Podcast Outro


Books, Links, and References

Raising Men: Lessons Navy SEALs Learned From Their Training and Taught to Their Sons – Eric Davis

Eric Davis Official Website https://ericdavis215.com

https://instagram.com/eric_davis215


Eric Davis’s Modern Masculinity Framework

A father’s role is to: Use his passions to harmoniously fulfill and care for his personal, financial, and professional purposes.


Key Components

  1. Passion
     Living authentically and using personal strengths and interests.
  2. Purpose
     Understanding and caring for the key domains of life.
  3. Harmony
     Balancing life domains so no major area breaks down.
  4. Leadership by Example
     Fathers must model the life they want their children to build.
  5. Resilience Development
     Building the capacity to maintain and restore the ability to act under stress.


]]> Wed, 01 Apr 2026 03:00:00 -0700 Shaun Dawson Shaun Dawson 2529 In this episode of the Raising Men podcast, Shaun sits down with former Navy SEAL, master sniper instructor, and author Eric Davis, whose book Raising Men helped inspire the very foundation of this show. Eric shares the deeply personal story that drove him to explore masculinity, fatherhood, and the role men play in shaping the next generation.

The conversation explores the modern masculinity crisis, why traditional models of manhood are failing many young men, and how fathers can intentionally raise resilient, purpose-driven sons. Drawing on his experiences in SEAL training, entrepreneurship, and parenting, Eric introduces his framework for modern masculinity and explains how fathers can lead their families with clarity, purpose, and example.

Key Takeaways

  1. Traditional masculinity is failing not because it was wrong but because the modern world has changed and requires new strengths.
  2. A man’s role is to use his passions to harmoniously fulfill and care for his personal, financial, and professional purposes.
  3. Resilience is not a personality trait but a skill that can be trained by maintaining and restoring the ability to act.
  4. Fathers must lead from the front by living the life they hope their children will one day emulate.
  5. Intentional parenting requires clarity of language, purpose, and example rather than vague ideas about what manhood should be.

Quotes from Eric Davis

“Traditional masculinity didn’t fail because it was broken — it failed because the environment changed.”


“The role of a father is to use his passions to harmoniously fulfill and care for his personal, financial, and professional purposes.”


 “If you’re living a good intentional life, your children will eventually follow it.” 


Chapter Markers

00:00 — Why Strong Families Make a Strong Country

00:46 — Introducing Eric Davis and the Philosophy of Raising Men

01:37 — The Masculinity Crisis and Why This Podcast Exists

02:09 — Losing His Father at 16 and Searching for Male Guidance

04:06 — Is There Really a Masculinity Crisis?

05:00 — The Problem With “Traditional” Masculinity Online

07:49 — Defining Modern Masculinity

08:33 — Using Passion to Fulfil Life’s Purposes

11:01 — Why Purpose Helps Young Men Avoid Distraction

12:00 — Lessons From SEAL Training for Raising Sons

13:03 — Discipline, Consequences, and Teaching Responsibility

14:00 — Adventure and Outdoor Challenges as Parenting Tools

15:00 — Why Resilience Is Central to SEAL Training

15:33 — The Difference Between Perseverance and Resilience

16:16 — How SEAL Training Builds Resilience

18:00 — Why Some Candidates Secretly Quit

19:03 — The Mental Game of Enduring Hardship

21:27 — Don’t Borrow Suffering From the Future

22:05 — Turning Outdoor Experiences Into Life Lessons

23:05 — Parenting With Intention and Clear Outcomes

24:10 — Teaching Kids Identity Through Shared Experiences

26:41 — Why Boys Need Modern Rites of Passage

28:13 — The Importance of Serious Responsibility in Manhood

29:12 — Why Clear Language and Definitions Matter

30:00 — How Families Create a Strong Nation

31:10 — Why Old Work Models Are Failing Modern Fathers

32:00 — Defining Purpose in Life

34:16 — Why Personal Life Often Gets Sacrificed for Work

35:00 — Aligning Your Life Around Your True Purposes

36:13 — Purpose Already Exists—You Just Need Awareness

37:16 — Designing Life Around What Actually Matters

39:05 — The One Principle Every Parent Should Follow

40:03 — Lead From the Front as a Father

41:06 — Final Thoughts on Raising Sons

41:55 — Podcast Outro


Books, Links, and References

Raising Men: Lessons Navy SEALs Learned From Their Training and Taught to Their Sons – Eric Davis

Eric Davis Official Website https://ericdavis215.com

https://instagram.com/eric_davis215


Eric Davis’s Modern Masculinity Framework

A father’s role is to: Use his passions to harmoniously fulfill and care for his personal, financial, and professional purposes.


Key Components

  1. Passion
     Living authentically and using personal strengths and interests.
  2. Purpose
     Understanding and caring for the key domains of life.
  3. Harmony
     Balancing life domains so no major area breaks down.
  4. Leadership by Example
     Fathers must model the life they want their children to build.
  5. Resilience Development
     Building the capacity to maintain and restore the ability to act under stress.


]]> modern masculinity, fatherhood, leadership, raising resilient sons, purpose driven living, SEAL mindset No Feminism, Men, and the Future of Raising Strong Boys with Emily Huston 23 23 Feminism, Men, and the Future of Raising Strong Boys with Emily Huston full 81f97605-491f-4c3f-95c5-26595bed9f95 https://share.transistor.fm/s/ca0c18c1 In this deep dive, Shaun sits down with lifelong friend and former professional athlete Emily Huston to discuss the silent crisis of identity and mental health facing boys and men today. From the high-pressure world of elite sports to the "cliff effect" of retirement, Emily shares her journey through depression and professional burnout to build Home Team—a marketplace and community designed to bridge the systemic gaps in athlete care.

Key Topics Covered

  • The Masculinity Crisis & The Zero-Sum Game: Why empowering women and girls doesn’t have to come at the expense of boys and men, and how "us vs. them" mentalities prevent true progress.
  • The "Cliff Effect" in Sports: How the sudden loss of structure, community, and purpose at retirement leads to a profound identity crisis for athletes as young as 22.
  • The Impact of NIL and Social Media: The modern pressures on young athletes to be "influencers," which forces them to be "always on" and fuels toxic comparisons and performance anxiety.
  • Training vs. Exercising: The psychological hurdle athletes face when transitioning from a militaristic "no pain, no gain" environment to learning how to move their bodies for health and joy.
  • Preventable Tragedies: A discussion on the rising suicide rates among NCAA athletes and the critical need for better information transfer between institutions (e.g., the case of Marshawn Neeland).
Retirement for an athlete isn't stepping down—it often feels like falling off a cliff.


Just because you’re struggling does not mean that you’re weak... but when you’re performing, you can't be weak. It’s difficult to unmask.


I have been a fierce advocate for women and girls... but if we women aren’t helping [men], it just continues to get worse. We truly need each other.


Resources & Links Mentioned

  • Home Team: Emily’s platform centralizing athlete-centered care, community, and vetted mental health providers. https://hometeamgo.com/
  • Always an Athlete by Hilary Knight (or similar teammate): The book that illustrated the "mountain" of an athletic career and the "cliff" of retirement.
  • NIL (Name, Image, and Likeness): The NCAA policy change allowing college athletes to earn compensation, discussed here regarding its impact on mental health.

Connect with Emily Huston

]]> In this deep dive, Shaun sits down with lifelong friend and former professional athlete Emily Huston to discuss the silent crisis of identity and mental health facing boys and men today. From the high-pressure world of elite sports to the "cliff effect" of retirement, Emily shares her journey through depression and professional burnout to build Home Team—a marketplace and community designed to bridge the systemic gaps in athlete care.

Key Topics Covered

  • The Masculinity Crisis & The Zero-Sum Game: Why empowering women and girls doesn’t have to come at the expense of boys and men, and how "us vs. them" mentalities prevent true progress.
  • The "Cliff Effect" in Sports: How the sudden loss of structure, community, and purpose at retirement leads to a profound identity crisis for athletes as young as 22.
  • The Impact of NIL and Social Media: The modern pressures on young athletes to be "influencers," which forces them to be "always on" and fuels toxic comparisons and performance anxiety.
  • Training vs. Exercising: The psychological hurdle athletes face when transitioning from a militaristic "no pain, no gain" environment to learning how to move their bodies for health and joy.
  • Preventable Tragedies: A discussion on the rising suicide rates among NCAA athletes and the critical need for better information transfer between institutions (e.g., the case of Marshawn Neeland).
Retirement for an athlete isn't stepping down—it often feels like falling off a cliff.


Just because you’re struggling does not mean that you’re weak... but when you’re performing, you can't be weak. It’s difficult to unmask.


I have been a fierce advocate for women and girls... but if we women aren’t helping [men], it just continues to get worse. We truly need each other.


Resources & Links Mentioned

  • Home Team: Emily’s platform centralizing athlete-centered care, community, and vetted mental health providers. https://hometeamgo.com/
  • Always an Athlete by Hilary Knight (or similar teammate): The book that illustrated the "mountain" of an athletic career and the "cliff" of retirement.
  • NIL (Name, Image, and Likeness): The NCAA policy change allowing college athletes to earn compensation, discussed here regarding its impact on mental health.

Connect with Emily Huston

]]> Wed, 25 Mar 2026 03:00:00 -0700 Shaun Dawson Shaun Dawson 3818 In this deep dive, Shaun sits down with lifelong friend and former professional athlete Emily Huston to discuss the silent crisis of identity and mental health facing boys and men today. From the high-pressure world of elite sports to the "cliff effect" of retirement, Emily shares her journey through depression and professional burnout to build Home Team—a marketplace and community designed to bridge the systemic gaps in athlete care.

Key Topics Covered

  • The Masculinity Crisis & The Zero-Sum Game: Why empowering women and girls doesn’t have to come at the expense of boys and men, and how "us vs. them" mentalities prevent true progress.
  • The "Cliff Effect" in Sports: How the sudden loss of structure, community, and purpose at retirement leads to a profound identity crisis for athletes as young as 22.
  • The Impact of NIL and Social Media: The modern pressures on young athletes to be "influencers," which forces them to be "always on" and fuels toxic comparisons and performance anxiety.
  • Training vs. Exercising: The psychological hurdle athletes face when transitioning from a militaristic "no pain, no gain" environment to learning how to move their bodies for health and joy.
  • Preventable Tragedies: A discussion on the rising suicide rates among NCAA athletes and the critical need for better information transfer between institutions (e.g., the case of Marshawn Neeland).
Retirement for an athlete isn't stepping down—it often feels like falling off a cliff.


Just because you’re struggling does not mean that you’re weak... but when you’re performing, you can't be weak. It’s difficult to unmask.


I have been a fierce advocate for women and girls... but if we women aren’t helping [men], it just continues to get worse. We truly need each other.


Resources & Links Mentioned

  • Home Team: Emily’s platform centralizing athlete-centered care, community, and vetted mental health providers. https://hometeamgo.com/
  • Always an Athlete by Hilary Knight (or similar teammate): The book that illustrated the "mountain" of an athletic career and the "cliff" of retirement.
  • NIL (Name, Image, and Likeness): The NCAA policy change allowing college athletes to earn compensation, discussed here regarding its impact on mental health.

Connect with Emily Huston

]]> parenting, raising boys, fatherhood No Raising Brave Boys in a Fearful World with Ryan Walton 22 22 Raising Brave Boys in a Fearful World with Ryan Walton full 74d5658f-bf8d-464e-8b4c-0e92572a44b5 https://share.transistor.fm/s/2751795b In this honest and wide-ranging conversation, Ryan Walton of Daring to Dad joins Shaun to unpack why so many men find themselves coasting through life — and what it really takes to show up with courage, presence, and emotional integrity for our children. Drawing from fatherhood, personal failures, and deep inner work, Ryan challenges modern dads to confront the parts of themselves they often avoid, cultivate resilience in their sons, and reclaim joy as a masculine virtue. This episode invites every father to stop drifting and start daring — in small daily decisions and in the deepest parts of their lives.

Key Takeaways / Topics Covered

1. Why Men Coast — And How to Recognize It

  • Avoidance, addiction, distraction, and numbness as modern forms of “coasting.”
  • How culture profits from keeping men disconnected and passive

2. The Power of Awareness & Intentionality

  • How “the deep knowing” inside you reveals when you’re living beneath your potential.
  • The Conan-the-Barbarian brain vs. the Sherlock Holmes brain

3. What It Really Means to DARE as a Father

  • Facing yourself instead of fixing your kids.
  • Stepping into presence, responsibility, and honest self-examination.
  • The cultural shift: modern fatherhood expectations vs. past generations. raising-men-podcast-recording-w…

4. Joy, Vulnerability, and Masculine Emotion

  • Why joy feels “uncool” to grown men — and why reclaiming it matters.
  • How our kids coach us emotionally, often in the moments we least expect.
  • Allowing boys to feel their full spectrum of emotion

5. Practical Tools for Cultivating Courage & Action

  • Community over isolation: why men need other men.
  • Daily reflection questions that build resilience.
  • The power of accountability, feedback, and honest self-inventory.
“Face the parts of yourself you’d rather avoid. What we hide in the basement finds its way out — and the bravest work a man can do is confront his own shadow.


Isolation is the man-killer. Being with other men who want your success — that’s where real change happens.


The struggle is a gift. Don’t steal it from your kids. Let them wrestle, fail, and rise.

Timestamps / Chapter Markers

00:00 — Why Emotional Control Is a Masculine Strength

00:32 — Meet Ryan Walton

01:56 — Why Men Coast

03:43 — The Difference Between Rest and Avoidance

05:44 — How Numbing Becomes the Default

07:26 — Technology Profits From Men Being Numb

09:03 — Isolation as the Silent Killer

11:04 — Systems Matter, Responsibility Still Counts

12:25 — What Daring Looks Like in Fatherhood

13:12 — Becoming the Man Your Kids Need

15:17 — Training a Bias Toward Action

16:45 — Anxiety Shrinks With Action

18:48 — Why Breaking Things Down Works

20:16 — A Driving Range Lesson in Joy

21:58 — The Vulnerability of Joy

23:50 — Reclaiming Childlike Wonder

25:48 — Why Men Hide Their Excitement

28:02 — When We Steal Joy From Ourselves

29:02 — Daring Means Feeling Everything

31:16 — Accountability Changes Everything

32:42 — Three Questions to Break Coasting

33:47 — Where Are You Not Telling the Truth

34:59 — The Power of Receiving Feedback

37:35 — A Moment That Changed Everything

39:49 — Why Repair Matters More Than Perfection

42:36 — Asking Kids for Feedback

44:55 — Teaching Resilience Without Stealing the Struggle

47:36 — Modeling Recovery After Failure

48:41 — Letting Kids Feel Their Feelings

50:45 — Why Men Learned to Shut Emotions Down

52:19 — Emotional Flexibility as Strength

53:32 — One Principle: Face What You’re Avoiding

55:12 — Closing Reflections

Supporting Content

Ryan Walton — Daring to Dad https://www.daringtodad.com/


Carl Jung’s Shadow & Inner Work

Mental Health as Mental Flexibility
Ryan reframed “mental health” as mental stamina, resilience, and flexibility — a framing more intuitive for many men. 


Daily Self-Reflection Questions (from Ryan)

  1. What am I avoiding?
  2. What am I pretending isn’t heavy, but really is?
  3. What one thing can I do today to move the needle?
  4. Where am I not telling the truth — to others or myself?

Concepts Discussed

  • Accountability groups / Men’s circles
  • Doomscrolling & the “numbing economy”
  • The Conan-the-Barbarian brain vs. Sherlock Holmes brain (an analogy Shaun shared)
]]> In this honest and wide-ranging conversation, Ryan Walton of Daring to Dad joins Shaun to unpack why so many men find themselves coasting through life — and what it really takes to show up with courage, presence, and emotional integrity for our children. Drawing from fatherhood, personal failures, and deep inner work, Ryan challenges modern dads to confront the parts of themselves they often avoid, cultivate resilience in their sons, and reclaim joy as a masculine virtue. This episode invites every father to stop drifting and start daring — in small daily decisions and in the deepest parts of their lives.

Key Takeaways / Topics Covered

1. Why Men Coast — And How to Recognize It

  • Avoidance, addiction, distraction, and numbness as modern forms of “coasting.”
  • How culture profits from keeping men disconnected and passive

2. The Power of Awareness & Intentionality

  • How “the deep knowing” inside you reveals when you’re living beneath your potential.
  • The Conan-the-Barbarian brain vs. the Sherlock Holmes brain

3. What It Really Means to DARE as a Father

  • Facing yourself instead of fixing your kids.
  • Stepping into presence, responsibility, and honest self-examination.
  • The cultural shift: modern fatherhood expectations vs. past generations. raising-men-podcast-recording-w…

4. Joy, Vulnerability, and Masculine Emotion

  • Why joy feels “uncool” to grown men — and why reclaiming it matters.
  • How our kids coach us emotionally, often in the moments we least expect.
  • Allowing boys to feel their full spectrum of emotion

5. Practical Tools for Cultivating Courage & Action

  • Community over isolation: why men need other men.
  • Daily reflection questions that build resilience.
  • The power of accountability, feedback, and honest self-inventory.
“Face the parts of yourself you’d rather avoid. What we hide in the basement finds its way out — and the bravest work a man can do is confront his own shadow.


Isolation is the man-killer. Being with other men who want your success — that’s where real change happens.


The struggle is a gift. Don’t steal it from your kids. Let them wrestle, fail, and rise.

Timestamps / Chapter Markers

00:00 — Why Emotional Control Is a Masculine Strength

00:32 — Meet Ryan Walton

01:56 — Why Men Coast

03:43 — The Difference Between Rest and Avoidance

05:44 — How Numbing Becomes the Default

07:26 — Technology Profits From Men Being Numb

09:03 — Isolation as the Silent Killer

11:04 — Systems Matter, Responsibility Still Counts

12:25 — What Daring Looks Like in Fatherhood

13:12 — Becoming the Man Your Kids Need

15:17 — Training a Bias Toward Action

16:45 — Anxiety Shrinks With Action

18:48 — Why Breaking Things Down Works

20:16 — A Driving Range Lesson in Joy

21:58 — The Vulnerability of Joy

23:50 — Reclaiming Childlike Wonder

25:48 — Why Men Hide Their Excitement

28:02 — When We Steal Joy From Ourselves

29:02 — Daring Means Feeling Everything

31:16 — Accountability Changes Everything

32:42 — Three Questions to Break Coasting

33:47 — Where Are You Not Telling the Truth

34:59 — The Power of Receiving Feedback

37:35 — A Moment That Changed Everything

39:49 — Why Repair Matters More Than Perfection

42:36 — Asking Kids for Feedback

44:55 — Teaching Resilience Without Stealing the Struggle

47:36 — Modeling Recovery After Failure

48:41 — Letting Kids Feel Their Feelings

50:45 — Why Men Learned to Shut Emotions Down

52:19 — Emotional Flexibility as Strength

53:32 — One Principle: Face What You’re Avoiding

55:12 — Closing Reflections

Supporting Content

Ryan Walton — Daring to Dad https://www.daringtodad.com/


Carl Jung’s Shadow & Inner Work

Mental Health as Mental Flexibility
Ryan reframed “mental health” as mental stamina, resilience, and flexibility — a framing more intuitive for many men. 


Daily Self-Reflection Questions (from Ryan)

  1. What am I avoiding?
  2. What am I pretending isn’t heavy, but really is?
  3. What one thing can I do today to move the needle?
  4. Where am I not telling the truth — to others or myself?

Concepts Discussed

  • Accountability groups / Men’s circles
  • Doomscrolling & the “numbing economy”
  • The Conan-the-Barbarian brain vs. Sherlock Holmes brain (an analogy Shaun shared)
]]> Wed, 18 Mar 2026 03:00:00 -0700 Shaun Dawson Shaun Dawson 3360 In this honest and wide-ranging conversation, Ryan Walton of Daring to Dad joins Shaun to unpack why so many men find themselves coasting through life — and what it really takes to show up with courage, presence, and emotional integrity for our children. Drawing from fatherhood, personal failures, and deep inner work, Ryan challenges modern dads to confront the parts of themselves they often avoid, cultivate resilience in their sons, and reclaim joy as a masculine virtue. This episode invites every father to stop drifting and start daring — in small daily decisions and in the deepest parts of their lives.

Key Takeaways / Topics Covered

1. Why Men Coast — And How to Recognize It

  • Avoidance, addiction, distraction, and numbness as modern forms of “coasting.”
  • How culture profits from keeping men disconnected and passive

2. The Power of Awareness & Intentionality

  • How “the deep knowing” inside you reveals when you’re living beneath your potential.
  • The Conan-the-Barbarian brain vs. the Sherlock Holmes brain

3. What It Really Means to DARE as a Father

  • Facing yourself instead of fixing your kids.
  • Stepping into presence, responsibility, and honest self-examination.
  • The cultural shift: modern fatherhood expectations vs. past generations. raising-men-podcast-recording-w…

4. Joy, Vulnerability, and Masculine Emotion

  • Why joy feels “uncool” to grown men — and why reclaiming it matters.
  • How our kids coach us emotionally, often in the moments we least expect.
  • Allowing boys to feel their full spectrum of emotion

5. Practical Tools for Cultivating Courage & Action

  • Community over isolation: why men need other men.
  • Daily reflection questions that build resilience.
  • The power of accountability, feedback, and honest self-inventory.
“Face the parts of yourself you’d rather avoid. What we hide in the basement finds its way out — and the bravest work a man can do is confront his own shadow.


Isolation is the man-killer. Being with other men who want your success — that’s where real change happens.


The struggle is a gift. Don’t steal it from your kids. Let them wrestle, fail, and rise.

Timestamps / Chapter Markers

00:00 — Why Emotional Control Is a Masculine Strength

00:32 — Meet Ryan Walton

01:56 — Why Men Coast

03:43 — The Difference Between Rest and Avoidance

05:44 — How Numbing Becomes the Default

07:26 — Technology Profits From Men Being Numb

09:03 — Isolation as the Silent Killer

11:04 — Systems Matter, Responsibility Still Counts

12:25 — What Daring Looks Like in Fatherhood

13:12 — Becoming the Man Your Kids Need

15:17 — Training a Bias Toward Action

16:45 — Anxiety Shrinks With Action

18:48 — Why Breaking Things Down Works

20:16 — A Driving Range Lesson in Joy

21:58 — The Vulnerability of Joy

23:50 — Reclaiming Childlike Wonder

25:48 — Why Men Hide Their Excitement

28:02 — When We Steal Joy From Ourselves

29:02 — Daring Means Feeling Everything

31:16 — Accountability Changes Everything

32:42 — Three Questions to Break Coasting

33:47 — Where Are You Not Telling the Truth

34:59 — The Power of Receiving Feedback

37:35 — A Moment That Changed Everything

39:49 — Why Repair Matters More Than Perfection

42:36 — Asking Kids for Feedback

44:55 — Teaching Resilience Without Stealing the Struggle

47:36 — Modeling Recovery After Failure

48:41 — Letting Kids Feel Their Feelings

50:45 — Why Men Learned to Shut Emotions Down

52:19 — Emotional Flexibility as Strength

53:32 — One Principle: Face What You’re Avoiding

55:12 — Closing Reflections

Supporting Content

Ryan Walton — Daring to Dad https://www.daringtodad.com/


Carl Jung’s Shadow & Inner Work

Mental Health as Mental Flexibility
Ryan reframed “mental health” as mental stamina, resilience, and flexibility — a framing more intuitive for many men. 


Daily Self-Reflection Questions (from Ryan)

  1. What am I avoiding?
  2. What am I pretending isn’t heavy, but really is?
  3. What one thing can I do today to move the needle?
  4. Where am I not telling the truth — to others or myself?

Concepts Discussed

  • Accountability groups / Men’s circles
  • Doomscrolling & the “numbing economy”
  • The Conan-the-Barbarian brain vs. Sherlock Holmes brain (an analogy Shaun shared)
]]> parenting, raising boys, fatherhood No Letters From War: What One Father Wanted His Sons to Know About Courage with Lt. Gen. Mark Hertling 21 21 Letters From War: What One Father Wanted His Sons to Know About Courage with Lt. Gen. Mark Hertling full 3a08f452-ec29-42f9-85dc-ad80a1a64a67 https://share.transistor.fm/s/9fcc49e5 In this episode of Raising Men, host Shaun sits down with retired U.S. Army Lieutenant General Mark Hertling, a leader who spent nearly four decades commanding soldiers in some of the most challenging environments imaginable. But beyond the battlefield, Mark is also a father who once wrote a series of journal entries to his young sons while preparing for war during the first Gulf War—letters he hoped would guide them if he didn’t make it home.

Years later, those handwritten reflections became the foundation for his book If I Don’t Return: A Father’s Wartime Journal. In this conversation, Mark shares the story behind the journal, the lessons he hoped to pass on to his sons, and what military leadership can teach fathers about character, courage, humility, and raising boys to become thoughtful, resilient men. 

Key Takeaways

  1. True masculinity begins with character, self-awareness, and respect for others rather than biology or bravado. 
  2. Leadership and parenting both require helping others discover and polish the “diamond” within themselves. 
  3. Words and intentions mean little without consistent action and discipline behind them. 
  4. Facing fear honestly and accepting both victory and defeat with humility builds lasting character. 
  5. Fathers shape their children most powerfully through the example they live rather than the advice they give. 

Quotes from Mark Hertling

“Masculinity is based on your character and how you influence others—not on biology.” 


“Within each one of us is a diamond that has to be polished.” 


“You don’t have to be loud to be a great leader.” 


Chapter Markers


00:00:00 The journal of a young father heading to war
00:03:03 Character as the foundation of leadership
00:06:06 Quiet leadership vs bravado
00:09:09 Why General Hertling decided to write the book
00:12:10 Lessons from the Iraqi Army and early military experiences
00:15:13 Rediscovering the wartime journal years later
00:18:13 Teaching resilience and responsibility to children
00:21:14 Historical lessons from World War I and II
00:24:15 Learning to admit mistakes as a leader
00:27:17 Striving for excellence and elite standards
00:30:18 Leadership lessons from elite athletes
00:33:19 Developing young leaders in the military
00:36:20 The importance of physical fitness in leadership
00:39:22 Building discipline and standards in teams
00:42:24 What fathers can learn from military leadership
00:45:26 The role of adversity in shaping men
00:48:27 Mentorship and modeling character
00:51:29 Leadership under pressure and uncertainty
00:54:30 Teaching courage and accountability
00:57:32 Preparing the next generation of leaders
01:00:34 Advice to fathers raising boys today
01:03:36 Final reflections on service, leadership, and family

Books, Links, and References Mentioned

Frameworks Mentioned

The “Polish the Diamond” Leadership Concept

Mark uses the metaphor of a diamond to describe personal and leadership development:

  1. Every person contains a “diamond” of potential.
  2. Growth requires intentional effort and discipline.
  3. Leaders and parents help others refine their strengths.
  4. Self-reflection and feedback are the tools used to polish that diamond.

This framework ties together Mark’s approach to both leadership and fatherhood.

]]> In this episode of Raising Men, host Shaun sits down with retired U.S. Army Lieutenant General Mark Hertling, a leader who spent nearly four decades commanding soldiers in some of the most challenging environments imaginable. But beyond the battlefield, Mark is also a father who once wrote a series of journal entries to his young sons while preparing for war during the first Gulf War—letters he hoped would guide them if he didn’t make it home.

Years later, those handwritten reflections became the foundation for his book If I Don’t Return: A Father’s Wartime Journal. In this conversation, Mark shares the story behind the journal, the lessons he hoped to pass on to his sons, and what military leadership can teach fathers about character, courage, humility, and raising boys to become thoughtful, resilient men. 

Key Takeaways

  1. True masculinity begins with character, self-awareness, and respect for others rather than biology or bravado. 
  2. Leadership and parenting both require helping others discover and polish the “diamond” within themselves. 
  3. Words and intentions mean little without consistent action and discipline behind them. 
  4. Facing fear honestly and accepting both victory and defeat with humility builds lasting character. 
  5. Fathers shape their children most powerfully through the example they live rather than the advice they give. 

Quotes from Mark Hertling

“Masculinity is based on your character and how you influence others—not on biology.” 


“Within each one of us is a diamond that has to be polished.” 


“You don’t have to be loud to be a great leader.” 


Chapter Markers


00:00:00 The journal of a young father heading to war
00:03:03 Character as the foundation of leadership
00:06:06 Quiet leadership vs bravado
00:09:09 Why General Hertling decided to write the book
00:12:10 Lessons from the Iraqi Army and early military experiences
00:15:13 Rediscovering the wartime journal years later
00:18:13 Teaching resilience and responsibility to children
00:21:14 Historical lessons from World War I and II
00:24:15 Learning to admit mistakes as a leader
00:27:17 Striving for excellence and elite standards
00:30:18 Leadership lessons from elite athletes
00:33:19 Developing young leaders in the military
00:36:20 The importance of physical fitness in leadership
00:39:22 Building discipline and standards in teams
00:42:24 What fathers can learn from military leadership
00:45:26 The role of adversity in shaping men
00:48:27 Mentorship and modeling character
00:51:29 Leadership under pressure and uncertainty
00:54:30 Teaching courage and accountability
00:57:32 Preparing the next generation of leaders
01:00:34 Advice to fathers raising boys today
01:03:36 Final reflections on service, leadership, and family

Books, Links, and References Mentioned

Frameworks Mentioned

The “Polish the Diamond” Leadership Concept

Mark uses the metaphor of a diamond to describe personal and leadership development:

  1. Every person contains a “diamond” of potential.
  2. Growth requires intentional effort and discipline.
  3. Leaders and parents help others refine their strengths.
  4. Self-reflection and feedback are the tools used to polish that diamond.

This framework ties together Mark’s approach to both leadership and fatherhood.

]]> Wed, 11 Mar 2026 03:00:00 -0700 Shaun Dawson Shaun Dawson 4134 In this episode of Raising Men, host Shaun sits down with retired U.S. Army Lieutenant General Mark Hertling, a leader who spent nearly four decades commanding soldiers in some of the most challenging environments imaginable. But beyond the battlefield, Mark is also a father who once wrote a series of journal entries to his young sons while preparing for war during the first Gulf War—letters he hoped would guide them if he didn’t make it home.

Years later, those handwritten reflections became the foundation for his book If I Don’t Return: A Father’s Wartime Journal. In this conversation, Mark shares the story behind the journal, the lessons he hoped to pass on to his sons, and what military leadership can teach fathers about character, courage, humility, and raising boys to become thoughtful, resilient men. 

Key Takeaways

  1. True masculinity begins with character, self-awareness, and respect for others rather than biology or bravado. 
  2. Leadership and parenting both require helping others discover and polish the “diamond” within themselves. 
  3. Words and intentions mean little without consistent action and discipline behind them. 
  4. Facing fear honestly and accepting both victory and defeat with humility builds lasting character. 
  5. Fathers shape their children most powerfully through the example they live rather than the advice they give. 

Quotes from Mark Hertling

“Masculinity is based on your character and how you influence others—not on biology.” 


“Within each one of us is a diamond that has to be polished.” 


“You don’t have to be loud to be a great leader.” 


Chapter Markers


00:00:00 The journal of a young father heading to war
00:03:03 Character as the foundation of leadership
00:06:06 Quiet leadership vs bravado
00:09:09 Why General Hertling decided to write the book
00:12:10 Lessons from the Iraqi Army and early military experiences
00:15:13 Rediscovering the wartime journal years later
00:18:13 Teaching resilience and responsibility to children
00:21:14 Historical lessons from World War I and II
00:24:15 Learning to admit mistakes as a leader
00:27:17 Striving for excellence and elite standards
00:30:18 Leadership lessons from elite athletes
00:33:19 Developing young leaders in the military
00:36:20 The importance of physical fitness in leadership
00:39:22 Building discipline and standards in teams
00:42:24 What fathers can learn from military leadership
00:45:26 The role of adversity in shaping men
00:48:27 Mentorship and modeling character
00:51:29 Leadership under pressure and uncertainty
00:54:30 Teaching courage and accountability
00:57:32 Preparing the next generation of leaders
01:00:34 Advice to fathers raising boys today
01:03:36 Final reflections on service, leadership, and family

Books, Links, and References Mentioned

Frameworks Mentioned

The “Polish the Diamond” Leadership Concept

Mark uses the metaphor of a diamond to describe personal and leadership development:

  1. Every person contains a “diamond” of potential.
  2. Growth requires intentional effort and discipline.
  3. Leaders and parents help others refine their strengths.
  4. Self-reflection and feedback are the tools used to polish that diamond.

This framework ties together Mark’s approach to both leadership and fatherhood.

]]> parenting, raising boys, fatherhood No From Chaos to Calm: Devon Kuntzman on Thriving Through Toddlerhood 20 20 From Chaos to Calm: Devon Kuntzman on Thriving Through Toddlerhood full 957e0ae2-1b43-41d9-b930-b7d0688a7a53 https://share.transistor.fm/s/c64b90a2  If you’ve ever had a toddler throw themselves on the floor because you cut their toast the wrong way, you know how intense those early years can be. But what if toddlerhood isn’t something to survive? What if it’s one of the richest seasons for growth—both for our kids and for us? Today on Raising Men, Shaun sits down with Devon Kuntzman, parenting coach, author of Transforming Toddlerhood, and the leading voice helping parents move from chaos to connection. Devon brings practical tools, mindset reframes, and compassionate strategies that help parents decode behavior, regulate themselves, and raise confident, emotionally healthy kids.

Key Takeaways

1. Reframing the “Terrible Twos”: Why culture primes us to expect chaos, and how fear shapes our experience of toddlerhood. 

2. Behavior as Communication:  Toddlers aren’t being “bad”—they’re expressing needs, emotions, and limitations in brain development. 

3. Emotional Regulation for Parents:  How to avoid jumping on your child’s “emotional roller coaster.” 

4. Healthy, Developmentally Smart Discipline:  Limits + connection + teaching skills = effective discipline. 

5. Collaboration, Not Control:  Using collaborative problem-solving with older toddlers (3–4+) to create buy-in and reduce conflict. 


All behavior is communication. Toddlers aren’t being bad—they’re having a hard time.


Control is an illusion. Parenting through fear creates compliance, not skills.


Practice makes progress. Every moment is another chance to try again.


Timestamps / Chapter Markers

00:00 — Observe and Describe, Not Catastrophise

00:30 — Welcome & Meet Devin Kuntzman

01:05 — Rethinking the “Terrible Twos”

02:04 — When We Look for Problems, We Find Them

03:10 — Problems as Opportunities for Growth

03:38 — Toddlerhood as a Critical Developmental Window

04:35 — Younger vs. Older Toddlers

05:31 — Behaviour Is Communication

06:20 — Lower Brain vs. Upper Brain

07:04 — Why Toddlers Aren’t Manipulating You

08:10 — Staying Out of the Emotional Roller Coaster

08:56 — Establish Safety First

09:40 — The Fear Loop Parents Fall Into

10:40 — Ego, Judgment, and Parenting Stress

11:25 — Observe and Describe in Action

12:47 — Teaching Skills Instead of Punishing Behaviour

13:35 — Responding Differently Based on Intensity

14:22 — Emotional Skills Are Still Skills

15:20 — Tantrums and Loss of Control

16:34 — Less Is More During Meltdowns

17:40 — Moving Forward After Setting a Limit

18:31 — Logical vs. Arbitrary Consequences

20:31 — Waiting Until the Brain Comes Back Online

22:30 — Fear-Based Compliance vs. Skill Building

24:02 — Regulating Yourself First

25:10 — Practical Grounding Techniques for Parents

26:15 — Repairing After You Lose It

28:02 — The Four-Step Repair Process

30:13 — “Wind the Clock”

31:32 — Disrupting the Stress Cycle

32:40 — Giving Yourself Grace as a Parent

33:51 — Windshield vs. Rearview Mirror Parenting

35:00 — Control vs. Connection

35:43 — When Control Becomes an Illusion

37:58 — Compliance, Fear, and Hiding Behaviour

39:20 — What Positive Discipline Really Means

39:54 — Meeting Needs Within Limits

41:36 — Collaborative Problem Solving

43:40 — Coaching Instead of Refereeing

45:45 — Why Feeling Seen Changes Everything

46:45 — One Operating Principle: Everyone Is Doing Their Best

47:29 — Closing Reflections


Supporting Content

Frameworks Mentioned

  • Observe & Describe — Nonjudgmental narration to interrupt assumptions. 
  • Recipe for Healthy, Effective Discipline:
    • Connection
    • Limit
    • Follow-through
    • Teaching skills 
  • Four-Step Repair Process (from Devon’s book, pg. ~49): 
    1. Take ownership
    2. Check in on impact
    3. Apologize
    4. Redo (state what you’ll do next time)


Concepts Referenced

  • Younger vs. Older Toddlers (ages 1–2 vs. 3–4, differences in language + brain maturity)
  • Collaborative Problem Solving — Inviting toddlers to generate solutions. 
  • Emotional Contagion — Why parent regulation is the first step in child regulation. 
  • Logical vs. Arbitrary Consequences — And why toddlers don’t connect punishment with behavior. 
  • Grounding Strategies for Parents — Breathing, sensory check-ins, movement or stillness based on temperament. 


]]>  If you’ve ever had a toddler throw themselves on the floor because you cut their toast the wrong way, you know how intense those early years can be. But what if toddlerhood isn’t something to survive? What if it’s one of the richest seasons for growth—both for our kids and for us? Today on Raising Men, Shaun sits down with Devon Kuntzman, parenting coach, author of Transforming Toddlerhood, and the leading voice helping parents move from chaos to connection. Devon brings practical tools, mindset reframes, and compassionate strategies that help parents decode behavior, regulate themselves, and raise confident, emotionally healthy kids.

Key Takeaways

1. Reframing the “Terrible Twos”: Why culture primes us to expect chaos, and how fear shapes our experience of toddlerhood. 

2. Behavior as Communication:  Toddlers aren’t being “bad”—they’re expressing needs, emotions, and limitations in brain development. 

3. Emotional Regulation for Parents:  How to avoid jumping on your child’s “emotional roller coaster.” 

4. Healthy, Developmentally Smart Discipline:  Limits + connection + teaching skills = effective discipline. 

5. Collaboration, Not Control:  Using collaborative problem-solving with older toddlers (3–4+) to create buy-in and reduce conflict. 


All behavior is communication. Toddlers aren’t being bad—they’re having a hard time.


Control is an illusion. Parenting through fear creates compliance, not skills.


Practice makes progress. Every moment is another chance to try again.


Timestamps / Chapter Markers

00:00 — Observe and Describe, Not Catastrophise

00:30 — Welcome & Meet Devin Kuntzman

01:05 — Rethinking the “Terrible Twos”

02:04 — When We Look for Problems, We Find Them

03:10 — Problems as Opportunities for Growth

03:38 — Toddlerhood as a Critical Developmental Window

04:35 — Younger vs. Older Toddlers

05:31 — Behaviour Is Communication

06:20 — Lower Brain vs. Upper Brain

07:04 — Why Toddlers Aren’t Manipulating You

08:10 — Staying Out of the Emotional Roller Coaster

08:56 — Establish Safety First

09:40 — The Fear Loop Parents Fall Into

10:40 — Ego, Judgment, and Parenting Stress

11:25 — Observe and Describe in Action

12:47 — Teaching Skills Instead of Punishing Behaviour

13:35 — Responding Differently Based on Intensity

14:22 — Emotional Skills Are Still Skills

15:20 — Tantrums and Loss of Control

16:34 — Less Is More During Meltdowns

17:40 — Moving Forward After Setting a Limit

18:31 — Logical vs. Arbitrary Consequences

20:31 — Waiting Until the Brain Comes Back Online

22:30 — Fear-Based Compliance vs. Skill Building

24:02 — Regulating Yourself First

25:10 — Practical Grounding Techniques for Parents

26:15 — Repairing After You Lose It

28:02 — The Four-Step Repair Process

30:13 — “Wind the Clock”

31:32 — Disrupting the Stress Cycle

32:40 — Giving Yourself Grace as a Parent

33:51 — Windshield vs. Rearview Mirror Parenting

35:00 — Control vs. Connection

35:43 — When Control Becomes an Illusion

37:58 — Compliance, Fear, and Hiding Behaviour

39:20 — What Positive Discipline Really Means

39:54 — Meeting Needs Within Limits

41:36 — Collaborative Problem Solving

43:40 — Coaching Instead of Refereeing

45:45 — Why Feeling Seen Changes Everything

46:45 — One Operating Principle: Everyone Is Doing Their Best

47:29 — Closing Reflections


Supporting Content

Frameworks Mentioned

  • Observe & Describe — Nonjudgmental narration to interrupt assumptions. 
  • Recipe for Healthy, Effective Discipline:
    • Connection
    • Limit
    • Follow-through
    • Teaching skills 
  • Four-Step Repair Process (from Devon’s book, pg. ~49): 
    1. Take ownership
    2. Check in on impact
    3. Apologize
    4. Redo (state what you’ll do next time)


Concepts Referenced

  • Younger vs. Older Toddlers (ages 1–2 vs. 3–4, differences in language + brain maturity)
  • Collaborative Problem Solving — Inviting toddlers to generate solutions. 
  • Emotional Contagion — Why parent regulation is the first step in child regulation. 
  • Logical vs. Arbitrary Consequences — And why toddlers don’t connect punishment with behavior. 
  • Grounding Strategies for Parents — Breathing, sensory check-ins, movement or stillness based on temperament. 


]]> Wed, 04 Mar 2026 03:00:00 -0800 Shaun Dawson Shaun Dawson 2888  If you’ve ever had a toddler throw themselves on the floor because you cut their toast the wrong way, you know how intense those early years can be. But what if toddlerhood isn’t something to survive? What if it’s one of the richest seasons for growth—both for our kids and for us? Today on Raising Men, Shaun sits down with Devon Kuntzman, parenting coach, author of Transforming Toddlerhood, and the leading voice helping parents move from chaos to connection. Devon brings practical tools, mindset reframes, and compassionate strategies that help parents decode behavior, regulate themselves, and raise confident, emotionally healthy kids.

Key Takeaways

1. Reframing the “Terrible Twos”: Why culture primes us to expect chaos, and how fear shapes our experience of toddlerhood. 

2. Behavior as Communication:  Toddlers aren’t being “bad”—they’re expressing needs, emotions, and limitations in brain development. 

3. Emotional Regulation for Parents:  How to avoid jumping on your child’s “emotional roller coaster.” 

4. Healthy, Developmentally Smart Discipline:  Limits + connection + teaching skills = effective discipline. 

5. Collaboration, Not Control:  Using collaborative problem-solving with older toddlers (3–4+) to create buy-in and reduce conflict. 


All behavior is communication. Toddlers aren’t being bad—they’re having a hard time.


Control is an illusion. Parenting through fear creates compliance, not skills.


Practice makes progress. Every moment is another chance to try again.


Timestamps / Chapter Markers

00:00 — Observe and Describe, Not Catastrophise

00:30 — Welcome & Meet Devin Kuntzman

01:05 — Rethinking the “Terrible Twos”

02:04 — When We Look for Problems, We Find Them

03:10 — Problems as Opportunities for Growth

03:38 — Toddlerhood as a Critical Developmental Window

04:35 — Younger vs. Older Toddlers

05:31 — Behaviour Is Communication

06:20 — Lower Brain vs. Upper Brain

07:04 — Why Toddlers Aren’t Manipulating You

08:10 — Staying Out of the Emotional Roller Coaster

08:56 — Establish Safety First

09:40 — The Fear Loop Parents Fall Into

10:40 — Ego, Judgment, and Parenting Stress

11:25 — Observe and Describe in Action

12:47 — Teaching Skills Instead of Punishing Behaviour

13:35 — Responding Differently Based on Intensity

14:22 — Emotional Skills Are Still Skills

15:20 — Tantrums and Loss of Control

16:34 — Less Is More During Meltdowns

17:40 — Moving Forward After Setting a Limit

18:31 — Logical vs. Arbitrary Consequences

20:31 — Waiting Until the Brain Comes Back Online

22:30 — Fear-Based Compliance vs. Skill Building

24:02 — Regulating Yourself First

25:10 — Practical Grounding Techniques for Parents

26:15 — Repairing After You Lose It

28:02 — The Four-Step Repair Process

30:13 — “Wind the Clock”

31:32 — Disrupting the Stress Cycle

32:40 — Giving Yourself Grace as a Parent

33:51 — Windshield vs. Rearview Mirror Parenting

35:00 — Control vs. Connection

35:43 — When Control Becomes an Illusion

37:58 — Compliance, Fear, and Hiding Behaviour

39:20 — What Positive Discipline Really Means

39:54 — Meeting Needs Within Limits

41:36 — Collaborative Problem Solving

43:40 — Coaching Instead of Refereeing

45:45 — Why Feeling Seen Changes Everything

46:45 — One Operating Principle: Everyone Is Doing Their Best

47:29 — Closing Reflections


Supporting Content

Frameworks Mentioned

  • Observe & Describe — Nonjudgmental narration to interrupt assumptions. 
  • Recipe for Healthy, Effective Discipline:
    • Connection
    • Limit
    • Follow-through
    • Teaching skills 
  • Four-Step Repair Process (from Devon’s book, pg. ~49): 
    1. Take ownership
    2. Check in on impact
    3. Apologize
    4. Redo (state what you’ll do next time)


Concepts Referenced

  • Younger vs. Older Toddlers (ages 1–2 vs. 3–4, differences in language + brain maturity)
  • Collaborative Problem Solving — Inviting toddlers to generate solutions. 
  • Emotional Contagion — Why parent regulation is the first step in child regulation. 
  • Logical vs. Arbitrary Consequences — And why toddlers don’t connect punishment with behavior. 
  • Grounding Strategies for Parents — Breathing, sensory check-ins, movement or stillness based on temperament. 


]]> parenting, raising boys, fatherhood No What Trauma-Informed Parenting Looks Like at Home with Ryan North 19 19 What Trauma-Informed Parenting Looks Like at Home with Ryan North full 403d2725-d179-40ac-9aa8-0630309b8cb5 https://share.transistor.fm/s/1ca2d21f Ryan North, co-founder of One Big Happy Home, shares his journey raising six children—four of whom were adopted from the child welfare system—and how those experiences shaped his trauma-informed approach to parenting. This episode explores the "connection-first" methodology, the essential balance between nurture and structure, and the vital distinction between raising "nice" boys and "good" men.

1. Why Trauma-Informed Parenting Matters for Every Dad

Ryan explains why trauma-informed principles apply far beyond adoption and foster care — because every child faces adversity, stress, and emotional wounds in today’s world. 

2. Connection vs. Control

Ryan breaks down why traditional discipline focuses on control, but healing and strong fatherhood come from prioritizing connection — without sliding into permissiveness. 

3. The Power of “Yes When We Can, No When We Must”

He shares the philosophy that shaped his home: saying yes when it builds relationship, and saying no only when it’s truly in the child’s long-term best interest. 

4. Raising Boys in a Digital, Post-Pandemic, AI-Distracted World

From screen addiction to AI “companions,” Ryan reveals why today is the hardest era in 100+ years to be a child — and how dads can anchor their sons in stability, presence, and emotional safety. r

5. What It Means to Raise Good Men (Not Just “Nice” Ones)

Ryan draws a powerful distinction between “nice” men and “good” men — and how fathers can raise sons who protect, provide, and lead with courage and compassion.

Quotes by Ryan North

“Authority isn’t about control — it’s about trust.”


“The point of parenting is not to make my life easy — the point of parenting is to develop another person.”


“We’re not trying to raise nice men. We’re trying to raise good men — the kind who run into the burning building, not film it for likes.”


Timestamps 

00:00 — Holding Kids to Adult Standards

00:30 — Welcome & Meet Ryan North

01:10 — What Drew Ryan Into Trauma-Informed Care

02:10 — Parenting Adopted and Biological Children the Same Way

03:20 — Connection vs. Compliance

04:17 — Why This Isn’t Permissive Parenting

05:10 — Parenting Isn’t Meant to Be Convenient

06:06 — Saying Yes When You Can, No When You Must

07:24 — The Swaddling Metaphor

08:20 — Secure Attachment Creates Confident Exploration

10:04 — Proof of Concept: Parenting Over Time

12:19 — Challenging Limiting Labels

12:46 — Small Traumas Still Matter

13:30 — Harmful Parenting Beliefs We Inherit

14:42 — Children Are Fragile and Capable of Resilience

15:55 — Parenting in a Digital, AI-Driven World

17:51 — Trauma vs. Adversity

18:45 — You’re the Parent, Not Their Friend

19:09 — Authority Without Fear or Control

20:15 — Screen Boundaries Explained, Not Enforced

21:30 — Calm Presence in Conflict

23:13 — Saying Yes to Needs, Not Wants

25:15 — Withholding Connection Is Not Discipline

27:12 — Defiance vs. Addiction

29:09 — Behaviour Is Communication

30:41 — Why “Crying It Out” Causes Harm

32:40 — How Behaviour Becomes a Strategy

35:29 — Teaching Independence Through Dependence

37:15 — The Danger of Raising “Nice” Men

39:01 — Raising Men Who Protect and Lead

41:02 — Protection, Provision, and Presence

42:53 — Male Mental Health and Suicide

44:45 — Choosing the Right Partner Matters

47:09 — Parenting as a Partnership

48:35 — The “Pineapple” Exit Strategy

50:00 — Planning Outside the Moment

53:12 — Kids Learn What We Model

55:10 — Teaching the Art of Repair

57:33 — Repairing Relationships After Rupture

01:01:48 — What a “Happy Home” Really Means

01:02:48 — Operating Principle: Curiosity Over Judgment

01:03:17 — Final Reflections

01:05:07 — Closing Credits

Supporting Content

  • Secure Base / Attachment Research – foundational attachment science discussed when exploring dependence → independence.
  • Nurture + Structure = Felt Safety – illustrated through the “baby swaddle” metaphor.
  • “Yes When We Can, No When We Must” Parenting Framework — Ryan’s family rule.
  • “Pineapple Strategy” – A pre-agreed cue between Ryan and his wife to step out of heated moments with dignity.
  • Apology Framework (Own it → Say sorry → Ask forgiveness → Commit to do better) — modeled to his children and now mirrored back by them.
  • The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/730610/the-anxious-generation-by-jonathan-haidt/
  • One Big Happy Home Website https://www.onebighappyhome.com/
  • One Big Happy Home Podcast https://www.onebighappyhome.com/podcast/


]]> Ryan North, co-founder of One Big Happy Home, shares his journey raising six children—four of whom were adopted from the child welfare system—and how those experiences shaped his trauma-informed approach to parenting. This episode explores the "connection-first" methodology, the essential balance between nurture and structure, and the vital distinction between raising "nice" boys and "good" men.

1. Why Trauma-Informed Parenting Matters for Every Dad

Ryan explains why trauma-informed principles apply far beyond adoption and foster care — because every child faces adversity, stress, and emotional wounds in today’s world. 

2. Connection vs. Control

Ryan breaks down why traditional discipline focuses on control, but healing and strong fatherhood come from prioritizing connection — without sliding into permissiveness. 

3. The Power of “Yes When We Can, No When We Must”

He shares the philosophy that shaped his home: saying yes when it builds relationship, and saying no only when it’s truly in the child’s long-term best interest. 

4. Raising Boys in a Digital, Post-Pandemic, AI-Distracted World

From screen addiction to AI “companions,” Ryan reveals why today is the hardest era in 100+ years to be a child — and how dads can anchor their sons in stability, presence, and emotional safety. r

5. What It Means to Raise Good Men (Not Just “Nice” Ones)

Ryan draws a powerful distinction between “nice” men and “good” men — and how fathers can raise sons who protect, provide, and lead with courage and compassion.

Quotes by Ryan North

“Authority isn’t about control — it’s about trust.”


“The point of parenting is not to make my life easy — the point of parenting is to develop another person.”


“We’re not trying to raise nice men. We’re trying to raise good men — the kind who run into the burning building, not film it for likes.”


Timestamps 

00:00 — Holding Kids to Adult Standards

00:30 — Welcome & Meet Ryan North

01:10 — What Drew Ryan Into Trauma-Informed Care

02:10 — Parenting Adopted and Biological Children the Same Way

03:20 — Connection vs. Compliance

04:17 — Why This Isn’t Permissive Parenting

05:10 — Parenting Isn’t Meant to Be Convenient

06:06 — Saying Yes When You Can, No When You Must

07:24 — The Swaddling Metaphor

08:20 — Secure Attachment Creates Confident Exploration

10:04 — Proof of Concept: Parenting Over Time

12:19 — Challenging Limiting Labels

12:46 — Small Traumas Still Matter

13:30 — Harmful Parenting Beliefs We Inherit

14:42 — Children Are Fragile and Capable of Resilience

15:55 — Parenting in a Digital, AI-Driven World

17:51 — Trauma vs. Adversity

18:45 — You’re the Parent, Not Their Friend

19:09 — Authority Without Fear or Control

20:15 — Screen Boundaries Explained, Not Enforced

21:30 — Calm Presence in Conflict

23:13 — Saying Yes to Needs, Not Wants

25:15 — Withholding Connection Is Not Discipline

27:12 — Defiance vs. Addiction

29:09 — Behaviour Is Communication

30:41 — Why “Crying It Out” Causes Harm

32:40 — How Behaviour Becomes a Strategy

35:29 — Teaching Independence Through Dependence

37:15 — The Danger of Raising “Nice” Men

39:01 — Raising Men Who Protect and Lead

41:02 — Protection, Provision, and Presence

42:53 — Male Mental Health and Suicide

44:45 — Choosing the Right Partner Matters

47:09 — Parenting as a Partnership

48:35 — The “Pineapple” Exit Strategy

50:00 — Planning Outside the Moment

53:12 — Kids Learn What We Model

55:10 — Teaching the Art of Repair

57:33 — Repairing Relationships After Rupture

01:01:48 — What a “Happy Home” Really Means

01:02:48 — Operating Principle: Curiosity Over Judgment

01:03:17 — Final Reflections

01:05:07 — Closing Credits

Supporting Content

  • Secure Base / Attachment Research – foundational attachment science discussed when exploring dependence → independence.
  • Nurture + Structure = Felt Safety – illustrated through the “baby swaddle” metaphor.
  • “Yes When We Can, No When We Must” Parenting Framework — Ryan’s family rule.
  • “Pineapple Strategy” – A pre-agreed cue between Ryan and his wife to step out of heated moments with dignity.
  • Apology Framework (Own it → Say sorry → Ask forgiveness → Commit to do better) — modeled to his children and now mirrored back by them.
  • The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/730610/the-anxious-generation-by-jonathan-haidt/
  • One Big Happy Home Website https://www.onebighappyhome.com/
  • One Big Happy Home Podcast https://www.onebighappyhome.com/podcast/


]]> Wed, 25 Feb 2026 03:00:00 -0800 Shaun Dawson Shaun Dawson 3919 Ryan North, co-founder of One Big Happy Home, shares his journey raising six children—four of whom were adopted from the child welfare system—and how those experiences shaped his trauma-informed approach to parenting. This episode explores the "connection-first" methodology, the essential balance between nurture and structure, and the vital distinction between raising "nice" boys and "good" men.

1. Why Trauma-Informed Parenting Matters for Every Dad

Ryan explains why trauma-informed principles apply far beyond adoption and foster care — because every child faces adversity, stress, and emotional wounds in today’s world. 

2. Connection vs. Control

Ryan breaks down why traditional discipline focuses on control, but healing and strong fatherhood come from prioritizing connection — without sliding into permissiveness. 

3. The Power of “Yes When We Can, No When We Must”

He shares the philosophy that shaped his home: saying yes when it builds relationship, and saying no only when it’s truly in the child’s long-term best interest. 

4. Raising Boys in a Digital, Post-Pandemic, AI-Distracted World

From screen addiction to AI “companions,” Ryan reveals why today is the hardest era in 100+ years to be a child — and how dads can anchor their sons in stability, presence, and emotional safety. r

5. What It Means to Raise Good Men (Not Just “Nice” Ones)

Ryan draws a powerful distinction between “nice” men and “good” men — and how fathers can raise sons who protect, provide, and lead with courage and compassion.

Quotes by Ryan North

“Authority isn’t about control — it’s about trust.”


“The point of parenting is not to make my life easy — the point of parenting is to develop another person.”


“We’re not trying to raise nice men. We’re trying to raise good men — the kind who run into the burning building, not film it for likes.”


Timestamps 

00:00 — Holding Kids to Adult Standards

00:30 — Welcome & Meet Ryan North

01:10 — What Drew Ryan Into Trauma-Informed Care

02:10 — Parenting Adopted and Biological Children the Same Way

03:20 — Connection vs. Compliance

04:17 — Why This Isn’t Permissive Parenting

05:10 — Parenting Isn’t Meant to Be Convenient

06:06 — Saying Yes When You Can, No When You Must

07:24 — The Swaddling Metaphor

08:20 — Secure Attachment Creates Confident Exploration

10:04 — Proof of Concept: Parenting Over Time

12:19 — Challenging Limiting Labels

12:46 — Small Traumas Still Matter

13:30 — Harmful Parenting Beliefs We Inherit

14:42 — Children Are Fragile and Capable of Resilience

15:55 — Parenting in a Digital, AI-Driven World

17:51 — Trauma vs. Adversity

18:45 — You’re the Parent, Not Their Friend

19:09 — Authority Without Fear or Control

20:15 — Screen Boundaries Explained, Not Enforced

21:30 — Calm Presence in Conflict

23:13 — Saying Yes to Needs, Not Wants

25:15 — Withholding Connection Is Not Discipline

27:12 — Defiance vs. Addiction

29:09 — Behaviour Is Communication

30:41 — Why “Crying It Out” Causes Harm

32:40 — How Behaviour Becomes a Strategy

35:29 — Teaching Independence Through Dependence

37:15 — The Danger of Raising “Nice” Men

39:01 — Raising Men Who Protect and Lead

41:02 — Protection, Provision, and Presence

42:53 — Male Mental Health and Suicide

44:45 — Choosing the Right Partner Matters

47:09 — Parenting as a Partnership

48:35 — The “Pineapple” Exit Strategy

50:00 — Planning Outside the Moment

53:12 — Kids Learn What We Model

55:10 — Teaching the Art of Repair

57:33 — Repairing Relationships After Rupture

01:01:48 — What a “Happy Home” Really Means

01:02:48 — Operating Principle: Curiosity Over Judgment

01:03:17 — Final Reflections

01:05:07 — Closing Credits

Supporting Content

  • Secure Base / Attachment Research – foundational attachment science discussed when exploring dependence → independence.
  • Nurture + Structure = Felt Safety – illustrated through the “baby swaddle” metaphor.
  • “Yes When We Can, No When We Must” Parenting Framework — Ryan’s family rule.
  • “Pineapple Strategy” – A pre-agreed cue between Ryan and his wife to step out of heated moments with dignity.
  • Apology Framework (Own it → Say sorry → Ask forgiveness → Commit to do better) — modeled to his children and now mirrored back by them.
  • The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/730610/the-anxious-generation-by-jonathan-haidt/
  • One Big Happy Home Website https://www.onebighappyhome.com/
  • One Big Happy Home Podcast https://www.onebighappyhome.com/podcast/


]]> parenting, raising boys, fatherhood No Fathers, Sons, and the Lost Language of Emotion with Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst 18 18 Fathers, Sons, and the Lost Language of Emotion with Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst full 7edcf717-b018-430c-9dce-ed2968101896 https://share.transistor.fm/s/1cbbf839 In this episode, Shaun sits down with Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, a psychologist with decades of experience working with preschool boys often mislabeled as "problematic". They explore the "emotional desert" many boys are forced into by a culture that unintentionally shames their natural sensitivity. Dr. Vanderhorst explains how parents can move beyond surface-level behavior to address the root emotional needs of their sons, ultimately helping them grow into men of both strength and tenderness.

Key Takeaways

  • The Myth of the Stoic Infant: Contrary to popular belief, boys are born with a broader range of emotional expression than girls. However, because mothers and nannies often have a narrower emotional range, they may unintentionally discourage a boy's intense reactions, leading the infant to "narrow the room" and limit his own expressions for safety.
  • Comfort vs. Brittleness: Shaming a boy for crying (e.g., telling a three-year-old to "stop being a baby") does not make him strong; it makes him "brittle". Providing comfort and strategies for handling injury or loss builds genuine resilience, allowing him to experience emotion without being overwhelmed by it.
  • The "Conan" Brain vs. The Modern World: Society often trains boys to remain in a "Conan the Barbarian" state—aggressive, brave, and cut off from fear. While this was once adaptive for survival, it is maladaptive in modern life, making intimate emotional relationships nearly impossible for men who can only access irritation or anger.
  • The Masculine Ritual of Safety: Unlike women, who often dive directly into emotional sharing, men typically require a "ritual" of posturing before feeling safe. They often need to establish their status or success in the room before they feel comfortable enough to bring their sorrows or worries into the light.
  • Decoding the "Root Cause": Behavioral outbursts are often signals of underlying needs. For example, a child obsessing over a cell phone or a specific shirt may actually be expressing a powerful need to "belong" or feel included with their peers. Addressing the root cause can "flip the switch" and resolve the behavioral conflict immediately.

Pull Quotes

"Infants are emotionally brilliant—it's their only survival mechanism. So they read the room perfectly."


"The culture that we live in tells us that boys are to narrow their emotional expression... We rob them of that capability, and we do it intentionally."


"If you don't do it on purpose [reflection], it'll happen accidentally in ways that are usually bad."


Timestamps / Chapter Markers

00:00 — Therapy Is More Accessible Than You Think

00:40 — Meet Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst

01:20 — The Emotional Desert Boys Grow Up In

02:02 — Boys Are Born With a Broader Emotional Spectrum

03:15 — How Caregiving Shapes Emotional Expression

04:17 — A Classroom Example: Male vs. Female Emotional Response

05:46 — Emotional Correction Starts in Infancy

07:40 — Playground Parenting Reveals the Pattern

08:18 — Emotional Sensitivity Is a Male Strength

09:25 — When Culture Mislabels Emotion as a Problem

11:05 — The Caveman Model of Masculinity

11:48 — Conan the Barbarian vs. Sherlock Holmes

13:44 — The Cost of Losing Tenderness

14:12 — Anger as a Secondary Emotion

15:36 — Why Anger Doesn’t Solve Modern Problems

16:20 — The Core Emotional Wound in Men

17:01 — Divorce, Prison, and Emotional Silence

18:03 — Why Men Don’t Disclose to Other Men

18:15 — Masculinity, Power, and the Fear of Softness

19:37 — You Don’t Lose Strength—You Add to It

20:45 — Introducing the Book: Read, Reflect, Respond

21:39 — Why Words Aren’t Enough for Healing

22:37 — Scribbling, Drawing, and Emotional Truth

23:14 — “Are You Your Own Con Artist?”

24:33 — When Unprocessed History Hijacks the Present

25:51 — The Danger of Justifying Pain Instead of Healing It

27:23 — Therapy Beyond the Couch

29:06 — Men, Therapy, and Community

29:58 — Posturing Before Vulnerability

31:45 — Rituals of Emotional Safety for Men

32:52 — Emotional Safety vs. Physical Safety

33:34 — First Steps for Raising Emotionally Healthy Boys

35:20 — A Story of Shame at the Playground

36:05 — Why Suppressing Emotion Creates Fragility

36:45 — Suicide and Emotional Suppression

37:57 — Is Emotional Progress Happening?

38:44 — The Hidden Cost of Screens

39:45 — The Uncontrolled Experiment on Children

41:03 — Limits Aren’t Enough—Engagement Matters

42:34 — Creativity as Emotional Nutrition

44:24 — Addressing the Root Need: Belonging

45:07 — Meeting Needs Without Giving the Device

46:00 — A Shirt, a Buffet, and Emotional Insight

47:23 — Belonging as a Core Emotional Theme

48:31 — Helping Kids Reframe Differences as Strengths

49:41 — One Operating Principle: Expand Feeling Vocabulary

50:51 — Emotions as a Learnable Language

51:48 — Building Emotional Rituals at Home

52:50 — Closing Reflections

Resources, Links, and Concepts Mentioned

Social Media & Connections

]]> In this episode, Shaun sits down with Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, a psychologist with decades of experience working with preschool boys often mislabeled as "problematic". They explore the "emotional desert" many boys are forced into by a culture that unintentionally shames their natural sensitivity. Dr. Vanderhorst explains how parents can move beyond surface-level behavior to address the root emotional needs of their sons, ultimately helping them grow into men of both strength and tenderness.

Key Takeaways

  • The Myth of the Stoic Infant: Contrary to popular belief, boys are born with a broader range of emotional expression than girls. However, because mothers and nannies often have a narrower emotional range, they may unintentionally discourage a boy's intense reactions, leading the infant to "narrow the room" and limit his own expressions for safety.
  • Comfort vs. Brittleness: Shaming a boy for crying (e.g., telling a three-year-old to "stop being a baby") does not make him strong; it makes him "brittle". Providing comfort and strategies for handling injury or loss builds genuine resilience, allowing him to experience emotion without being overwhelmed by it.
  • The "Conan" Brain vs. The Modern World: Society often trains boys to remain in a "Conan the Barbarian" state—aggressive, brave, and cut off from fear. While this was once adaptive for survival, it is maladaptive in modern life, making intimate emotional relationships nearly impossible for men who can only access irritation or anger.
  • The Masculine Ritual of Safety: Unlike women, who often dive directly into emotional sharing, men typically require a "ritual" of posturing before feeling safe. They often need to establish their status or success in the room before they feel comfortable enough to bring their sorrows or worries into the light.
  • Decoding the "Root Cause": Behavioral outbursts are often signals of underlying needs. For example, a child obsessing over a cell phone or a specific shirt may actually be expressing a powerful need to "belong" or feel included with their peers. Addressing the root cause can "flip the switch" and resolve the behavioral conflict immediately.

Pull Quotes

"Infants are emotionally brilliant—it's their only survival mechanism. So they read the room perfectly."


"The culture that we live in tells us that boys are to narrow their emotional expression... We rob them of that capability, and we do it intentionally."


"If you don't do it on purpose [reflection], it'll happen accidentally in ways that are usually bad."


Timestamps / Chapter Markers

00:00 — Therapy Is More Accessible Than You Think

00:40 — Meet Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst

01:20 — The Emotional Desert Boys Grow Up In

02:02 — Boys Are Born With a Broader Emotional Spectrum

03:15 — How Caregiving Shapes Emotional Expression

04:17 — A Classroom Example: Male vs. Female Emotional Response

05:46 — Emotional Correction Starts in Infancy

07:40 — Playground Parenting Reveals the Pattern

08:18 — Emotional Sensitivity Is a Male Strength

09:25 — When Culture Mislabels Emotion as a Problem

11:05 — The Caveman Model of Masculinity

11:48 — Conan the Barbarian vs. Sherlock Holmes

13:44 — The Cost of Losing Tenderness

14:12 — Anger as a Secondary Emotion

15:36 — Why Anger Doesn’t Solve Modern Problems

16:20 — The Core Emotional Wound in Men

17:01 — Divorce, Prison, and Emotional Silence

18:03 — Why Men Don’t Disclose to Other Men

18:15 — Masculinity, Power, and the Fear of Softness

19:37 — You Don’t Lose Strength—You Add to It

20:45 — Introducing the Book: Read, Reflect, Respond

21:39 — Why Words Aren’t Enough for Healing

22:37 — Scribbling, Drawing, and Emotional Truth

23:14 — “Are You Your Own Con Artist?”

24:33 — When Unprocessed History Hijacks the Present

25:51 — The Danger of Justifying Pain Instead of Healing It

27:23 — Therapy Beyond the Couch

29:06 — Men, Therapy, and Community

29:58 — Posturing Before Vulnerability

31:45 — Rituals of Emotional Safety for Men

32:52 — Emotional Safety vs. Physical Safety

33:34 — First Steps for Raising Emotionally Healthy Boys

35:20 — A Story of Shame at the Playground

36:05 — Why Suppressing Emotion Creates Fragility

36:45 — Suicide and Emotional Suppression

37:57 — Is Emotional Progress Happening?

38:44 — The Hidden Cost of Screens

39:45 — The Uncontrolled Experiment on Children

41:03 — Limits Aren’t Enough—Engagement Matters

42:34 — Creativity as Emotional Nutrition

44:24 — Addressing the Root Need: Belonging

45:07 — Meeting Needs Without Giving the Device

46:00 — A Shirt, a Buffet, and Emotional Insight

47:23 — Belonging as a Core Emotional Theme

48:31 — Helping Kids Reframe Differences as Strengths

49:41 — One Operating Principle: Expand Feeling Vocabulary

50:51 — Emotions as a Learnable Language

51:48 — Building Emotional Rituals at Home

52:50 — Closing Reflections

Resources, Links, and Concepts Mentioned

Social Media & Connections

]]> Wed, 18 Feb 2026 03:00:00 -0800 Shaun Dawson Shaun Dawson 3181 In this episode, Shaun sits down with Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst, a psychologist with decades of experience working with preschool boys often mislabeled as "problematic". They explore the "emotional desert" many boys are forced into by a culture that unintentionally shames their natural sensitivity. Dr. Vanderhorst explains how parents can move beyond surface-level behavior to address the root emotional needs of their sons, ultimately helping them grow into men of both strength and tenderness.

Key Takeaways

  • The Myth of the Stoic Infant: Contrary to popular belief, boys are born with a broader range of emotional expression than girls. However, because mothers and nannies often have a narrower emotional range, they may unintentionally discourage a boy's intense reactions, leading the infant to "narrow the room" and limit his own expressions for safety.
  • Comfort vs. Brittleness: Shaming a boy for crying (e.g., telling a three-year-old to "stop being a baby") does not make him strong; it makes him "brittle". Providing comfort and strategies for handling injury or loss builds genuine resilience, allowing him to experience emotion without being overwhelmed by it.
  • The "Conan" Brain vs. The Modern World: Society often trains boys to remain in a "Conan the Barbarian" state—aggressive, brave, and cut off from fear. While this was once adaptive for survival, it is maladaptive in modern life, making intimate emotional relationships nearly impossible for men who can only access irritation or anger.
  • The Masculine Ritual of Safety: Unlike women, who often dive directly into emotional sharing, men typically require a "ritual" of posturing before feeling safe. They often need to establish their status or success in the room before they feel comfortable enough to bring their sorrows or worries into the light.
  • Decoding the "Root Cause": Behavioral outbursts are often signals of underlying needs. For example, a child obsessing over a cell phone or a specific shirt may actually be expressing a powerful need to "belong" or feel included with their peers. Addressing the root cause can "flip the switch" and resolve the behavioral conflict immediately.

Pull Quotes

"Infants are emotionally brilliant—it's their only survival mechanism. So they read the room perfectly."


"The culture that we live in tells us that boys are to narrow their emotional expression... We rob them of that capability, and we do it intentionally."


"If you don't do it on purpose [reflection], it'll happen accidentally in ways that are usually bad."


Timestamps / Chapter Markers

00:00 — Therapy Is More Accessible Than You Think

00:40 — Meet Dr. Gloria Vanderhorst

01:20 — The Emotional Desert Boys Grow Up In

02:02 — Boys Are Born With a Broader Emotional Spectrum

03:15 — How Caregiving Shapes Emotional Expression

04:17 — A Classroom Example: Male vs. Female Emotional Response

05:46 — Emotional Correction Starts in Infancy

07:40 — Playground Parenting Reveals the Pattern

08:18 — Emotional Sensitivity Is a Male Strength

09:25 — When Culture Mislabels Emotion as a Problem

11:05 — The Caveman Model of Masculinity

11:48 — Conan the Barbarian vs. Sherlock Holmes

13:44 — The Cost of Losing Tenderness

14:12 — Anger as a Secondary Emotion

15:36 — Why Anger Doesn’t Solve Modern Problems

16:20 — The Core Emotional Wound in Men

17:01 — Divorce, Prison, and Emotional Silence

18:03 — Why Men Don’t Disclose to Other Men

18:15 — Masculinity, Power, and the Fear of Softness

19:37 — You Don’t Lose Strength—You Add to It

20:45 — Introducing the Book: Read, Reflect, Respond

21:39 — Why Words Aren’t Enough for Healing

22:37 — Scribbling, Drawing, and Emotional Truth

23:14 — “Are You Your Own Con Artist?”

24:33 — When Unprocessed History Hijacks the Present

25:51 — The Danger of Justifying Pain Instead of Healing It

27:23 — Therapy Beyond the Couch

29:06 — Men, Therapy, and Community

29:58 — Posturing Before Vulnerability

31:45 — Rituals of Emotional Safety for Men

32:52 — Emotional Safety vs. Physical Safety

33:34 — First Steps for Raising Emotionally Healthy Boys

35:20 — A Story of Shame at the Playground

36:05 — Why Suppressing Emotion Creates Fragility

36:45 — Suicide and Emotional Suppression

37:57 — Is Emotional Progress Happening?

38:44 — The Hidden Cost of Screens

39:45 — The Uncontrolled Experiment on Children

41:03 — Limits Aren’t Enough—Engagement Matters

42:34 — Creativity as Emotional Nutrition

44:24 — Addressing the Root Need: Belonging

45:07 — Meeting Needs Without Giving the Device

46:00 — A Shirt, a Buffet, and Emotional Insight

47:23 — Belonging as a Core Emotional Theme

48:31 — Helping Kids Reframe Differences as Strengths

49:41 — One Operating Principle: Expand Feeling Vocabulary

50:51 — Emotions as a Learnable Language

51:48 — Building Emotional Rituals at Home

52:50 — Closing Reflections

Resources, Links, and Concepts Mentioned

Social Media & Connections

]]> parenting, raising boys, fatherhood No Regulate Before You Relate: The Inner Work of Raising Men with Jonny Miller 17 17 Regulate Before You Relate: The Inner Work of Raising Men with Jonny Miller full 3beb8afa-306f-4e83-ab72-1022c7fc30fd https://share.transistor.fm/s/0c0a704e In this episode, Shaun sits down with Jonny Miller, the founder of Nervous System Mastery and host of The Inner Frontier Podcast. As a tech leader and father of two, Shaun explores the messy reality of staying regulated when kids push every "magic button" we have. Jonny reframes the nervous system not as something to be "beaten into submission," but as the primary lens through which we experience our relationships, our creativity, and our capacity to lead our families.

Key Takeaways

  • The Nervous System is the "Upstream" Lens: Your nervous system dictates the quality of your attention, relationships, and creativity. Rather than a victim-to-villain dynamic where you must "grind" through stress, mastery is about befriending the system and understanding that your kids' nervous systems are often a direct reflection of your own.
  • Interoception is the Lead Domino: Most men are "numb from the neck down," missing the internal data (heat in the chest, sweating palms) that signals rising anger. By noticing these sensations when they are a "2 or 3 out of 10" rather than an "11 out of 10" rage blackout, you gain the agency to intervene before reacting.
  • Reducing the "Half-Life" of Reactivity: The goal is not to never be triggered, but to reduce how long you stay in a hijacked state. Instead of carrying unprocessed grief or anger for days or weeks, nervous system skills allow you to move back into your "window of tolerance" in minutes.
  • Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Regulation: While we often try to "think" our way out of stress (top-down), there are four times more neurons going from the body to the brain than vice-versa. Leveraging "bottom-up" tools like breathwork, humming, or cold exposure is a high-leverage way to signal safety to the brain when the mind is racing.
  • Paying Off "Emotional Debt": Repressing emotions to "get the job done" (the Clint Eastwood model) builds a debt that eventually leads to burnout or health crises. Shifting from "grinding" to "courageous curiosity" allows men to metabolize this debt and reclaim a sense of aliveness and joy.

Quotes from Jonny Miller

"The nervous system is quite literally the lens through which we experience life."


"Joy is the matriarch of a family of emotions, and she won't come into a house where her children aren't welcome."


"All leadership is ultimately self-leadership."


Timestamps / Chapter Markers

00:00 — Kids and Emotional Fluidity

00:27 — What Is Nervous System Mastery?

01:53 — Grit, Hustle, and the Problem With Suppression

03:59 — Reducing the Half-Life of Reactivity

05:51 — Leadership Starts With Self-Regulation

07:09 — When Kids Trigger What We Can’t Control

09:09 — Why We Try to Fix Other People’s Emotions

10:57 — Interoception: Awareness of the Inner World

12:48 — Interoception vs. Introspection

13:30 — The Daily “Internal Weather Report”

15:48 — Parenting in the Weeds

17:40 — Curiosity Without Judgment

19:06 — Emotional Fluidity vs. Emotional Manipulation

20:44 — Kids Learn What We Model, Not What We Say

21:30 — Teaching Children to Trust Their Inner Signals

22:48 — Practicing Awareness Throughout the Day

24:45 — NSDR (Non-Sleep Deep Rest)

26:07 — Where to Learn NSDR

28:03 — Top-Down vs. Bottom-Up Regulation

29:36 — Why Body-Based Practices Work Better

30:46 — Outside-In Regulation: Designing Your Environment

32:18 — Co-Regulation: Why Connection Heals

34:16 — Anxiety as Constriction

36:13 — Emotional Debt and Burnout

37:37 — What Changes for High-Achieving Men

39:34 — Deep Somatic Work and Emotional Excavation

41:18 — Making Time Creates More Time

41:33 — One Practice for Immediate Regulation

43:34 — Boundaries, Calendars, and Spaciousness

45:08 — Presence as a Competitive Advantage

47:06 — Distraction, Rage Bait, and Emotional Hooking

49:21 — Interoception as an Antidote to Screens

51:36 — The Opportunity Hidden in Modern Overstimulation

53:13 — One Operating Principle: Embrace Emotional Intensity

54:23 — Regulating Kids by Regulating Ourselves

55:14 — Making Space for Anger

56:33 — Screaming Together: A Story of Co-Regulation

57:25 — Closing Reflections

Resources, Tools, & Concepts Mentioned

  • NSDR (Non-Sleep Deep Rest): A guided body scan popularized by Andrew Huberman that provides the recovery equivalent of two hours of sleep in just 30 minutes.
  • State Shifts: An app featuring recordings for nervous system regulation.
  • Physiological Sigh: A breathing protocol used to rapidly down-regulate the system.
  • Orienting Practice: A quick grounding tool: name three things you see, two you hear, and one you feel.
  • Yoga Nidra: A restorative practice for cultivating high-definition internal awareness.
  • People to Follow: 
    • Andrew Huberman: For the science of NSDR and the physiological sigh.
    • Ally Boothroyd: Recommended for her Yoga Nidra recordings on YouTube.
    • Joe Hudson: Creator of the "Joy as the Matriarch" metaphor.

Where to find Jonny: 

]]> In this episode, Shaun sits down with Jonny Miller, the founder of Nervous System Mastery and host of The Inner Frontier Podcast. As a tech leader and father of two, Shaun explores the messy reality of staying regulated when kids push every "magic button" we have. Jonny reframes the nervous system not as something to be "beaten into submission," but as the primary lens through which we experience our relationships, our creativity, and our capacity to lead our families.

Key Takeaways

  • The Nervous System is the "Upstream" Lens: Your nervous system dictates the quality of your attention, relationships, and creativity. Rather than a victim-to-villain dynamic where you must "grind" through stress, mastery is about befriending the system and understanding that your kids' nervous systems are often a direct reflection of your own.
  • Interoception is the Lead Domino: Most men are "numb from the neck down," missing the internal data (heat in the chest, sweating palms) that signals rising anger. By noticing these sensations when they are a "2 or 3 out of 10" rather than an "11 out of 10" rage blackout, you gain the agency to intervene before reacting.
  • Reducing the "Half-Life" of Reactivity: The goal is not to never be triggered, but to reduce how long you stay in a hijacked state. Instead of carrying unprocessed grief or anger for days or weeks, nervous system skills allow you to move back into your "window of tolerance" in minutes.
  • Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Regulation: While we often try to "think" our way out of stress (top-down), there are four times more neurons going from the body to the brain than vice-versa. Leveraging "bottom-up" tools like breathwork, humming, or cold exposure is a high-leverage way to signal safety to the brain when the mind is racing.
  • Paying Off "Emotional Debt": Repressing emotions to "get the job done" (the Clint Eastwood model) builds a debt that eventually leads to burnout or health crises. Shifting from "grinding" to "courageous curiosity" allows men to metabolize this debt and reclaim a sense of aliveness and joy.

Quotes from Jonny Miller

"The nervous system is quite literally the lens through which we experience life."


"Joy is the matriarch of a family of emotions, and she won't come into a house where her children aren't welcome."


"All leadership is ultimately self-leadership."


Timestamps / Chapter Markers

00:00 — Kids and Emotional Fluidity

00:27 — What Is Nervous System Mastery?

01:53 — Grit, Hustle, and the Problem With Suppression

03:59 — Reducing the Half-Life of Reactivity

05:51 — Leadership Starts With Self-Regulation

07:09 — When Kids Trigger What We Can’t Control

09:09 — Why We Try to Fix Other People’s Emotions

10:57 — Interoception: Awareness of the Inner World

12:48 — Interoception vs. Introspection

13:30 — The Daily “Internal Weather Report”

15:48 — Parenting in the Weeds

17:40 — Curiosity Without Judgment

19:06 — Emotional Fluidity vs. Emotional Manipulation

20:44 — Kids Learn What We Model, Not What We Say

21:30 — Teaching Children to Trust Their Inner Signals

22:48 — Practicing Awareness Throughout the Day

24:45 — NSDR (Non-Sleep Deep Rest)

26:07 — Where to Learn NSDR

28:03 — Top-Down vs. Bottom-Up Regulation

29:36 — Why Body-Based Practices Work Better

30:46 — Outside-In Regulation: Designing Your Environment

32:18 — Co-Regulation: Why Connection Heals

34:16 — Anxiety as Constriction

36:13 — Emotional Debt and Burnout

37:37 — What Changes for High-Achieving Men

39:34 — Deep Somatic Work and Emotional Excavation

41:18 — Making Time Creates More Time

41:33 — One Practice for Immediate Regulation

43:34 — Boundaries, Calendars, and Spaciousness

45:08 — Presence as a Competitive Advantage

47:06 — Distraction, Rage Bait, and Emotional Hooking

49:21 — Interoception as an Antidote to Screens

51:36 — The Opportunity Hidden in Modern Overstimulation

53:13 — One Operating Principle: Embrace Emotional Intensity

54:23 — Regulating Kids by Regulating Ourselves

55:14 — Making Space for Anger

56:33 — Screaming Together: A Story of Co-Regulation

57:25 — Closing Reflections

Resources, Tools, & Concepts Mentioned

  • NSDR (Non-Sleep Deep Rest): A guided body scan popularized by Andrew Huberman that provides the recovery equivalent of two hours of sleep in just 30 minutes.
  • State Shifts: An app featuring recordings for nervous system regulation.
  • Physiological Sigh: A breathing protocol used to rapidly down-regulate the system.
  • Orienting Practice: A quick grounding tool: name three things you see, two you hear, and one you feel.
  • Yoga Nidra: A restorative practice for cultivating high-definition internal awareness.
  • People to Follow: 
    • Andrew Huberman: For the science of NSDR and the physiological sigh.
    • Ally Boothroyd: Recommended for her Yoga Nidra recordings on YouTube.
    • Joe Hudson: Creator of the "Joy as the Matriarch" metaphor.

Where to find Jonny: 

]]> Wed, 11 Feb 2026 03:00:00 -0800 Shaun Dawson Shaun Dawson 3454 In this episode, Shaun sits down with Jonny Miller, the founder of Nervous System Mastery and host of The Inner Frontier Podcast. As a tech leader and father of two, Shaun explores the messy reality of staying regulated when kids push every "magic button" we have. Jonny reframes the nervous system not as something to be "beaten into submission," but as the primary lens through which we experience our relationships, our creativity, and our capacity to lead our families.

Key Takeaways

  • The Nervous System is the "Upstream" Lens: Your nervous system dictates the quality of your attention, relationships, and creativity. Rather than a victim-to-villain dynamic where you must "grind" through stress, mastery is about befriending the system and understanding that your kids' nervous systems are often a direct reflection of your own.
  • Interoception is the Lead Domino: Most men are "numb from the neck down," missing the internal data (heat in the chest, sweating palms) that signals rising anger. By noticing these sensations when they are a "2 or 3 out of 10" rather than an "11 out of 10" rage blackout, you gain the agency to intervene before reacting.
  • Reducing the "Half-Life" of Reactivity: The goal is not to never be triggered, but to reduce how long you stay in a hijacked state. Instead of carrying unprocessed grief or anger for days or weeks, nervous system skills allow you to move back into your "window of tolerance" in minutes.
  • Bottom-Up vs. Top-Down Regulation: While we often try to "think" our way out of stress (top-down), there are four times more neurons going from the body to the brain than vice-versa. Leveraging "bottom-up" tools like breathwork, humming, or cold exposure is a high-leverage way to signal safety to the brain when the mind is racing.
  • Paying Off "Emotional Debt": Repressing emotions to "get the job done" (the Clint Eastwood model) builds a debt that eventually leads to burnout or health crises. Shifting from "grinding" to "courageous curiosity" allows men to metabolize this debt and reclaim a sense of aliveness and joy.

Quotes from Jonny Miller

"The nervous system is quite literally the lens through which we experience life."


"Joy is the matriarch of a family of emotions, and she won't come into a house where her children aren't welcome."


"All leadership is ultimately self-leadership."


Timestamps / Chapter Markers

00:00 — Kids and Emotional Fluidity

00:27 — What Is Nervous System Mastery?

01:53 — Grit, Hustle, and the Problem With Suppression

03:59 — Reducing the Half-Life of Reactivity

05:51 — Leadership Starts With Self-Regulation

07:09 — When Kids Trigger What We Can’t Control

09:09 — Why We Try to Fix Other People’s Emotions

10:57 — Interoception: Awareness of the Inner World

12:48 — Interoception vs. Introspection

13:30 — The Daily “Internal Weather Report”

15:48 — Parenting in the Weeds

17:40 — Curiosity Without Judgment

19:06 — Emotional Fluidity vs. Emotional Manipulation

20:44 — Kids Learn What We Model, Not What We Say

21:30 — Teaching Children to Trust Their Inner Signals

22:48 — Practicing Awareness Throughout the Day

24:45 — NSDR (Non-Sleep Deep Rest)

26:07 — Where to Learn NSDR

28:03 — Top-Down vs. Bottom-Up Regulation

29:36 — Why Body-Based Practices Work Better

30:46 — Outside-In Regulation: Designing Your Environment

32:18 — Co-Regulation: Why Connection Heals

34:16 — Anxiety as Constriction

36:13 — Emotional Debt and Burnout

37:37 — What Changes for High-Achieving Men

39:34 — Deep Somatic Work and Emotional Excavation

41:18 — Making Time Creates More Time

41:33 — One Practice for Immediate Regulation

43:34 — Boundaries, Calendars, and Spaciousness

45:08 — Presence as a Competitive Advantage

47:06 — Distraction, Rage Bait, and Emotional Hooking

49:21 — Interoception as an Antidote to Screens

51:36 — The Opportunity Hidden in Modern Overstimulation

53:13 — One Operating Principle: Embrace Emotional Intensity

54:23 — Regulating Kids by Regulating Ourselves

55:14 — Making Space for Anger

56:33 — Screaming Together: A Story of Co-Regulation

57:25 — Closing Reflections

Resources, Tools, & Concepts Mentioned

  • NSDR (Non-Sleep Deep Rest): A guided body scan popularized by Andrew Huberman that provides the recovery equivalent of two hours of sleep in just 30 minutes.
  • State Shifts: An app featuring recordings for nervous system regulation.
  • Physiological Sigh: A breathing protocol used to rapidly down-regulate the system.
  • Orienting Practice: A quick grounding tool: name three things you see, two you hear, and one you feel.
  • Yoga Nidra: A restorative practice for cultivating high-definition internal awareness.
  • People to Follow: 
    • Andrew Huberman: For the science of NSDR and the physiological sigh.
    • Ally Boothroyd: Recommended for her Yoga Nidra recordings on YouTube.
    • Joe Hudson: Creator of the "Joy as the Matriarch" metaphor.

Where to find Jonny: 

]]> Keywords nervous system, reactivity, emotional mastery, intentionality, agency No Why Boys Are Falling Behind (and What We Can Do About It) with Steve Biddulph 16 16 Why Boys Are Falling Behind (and What We Can Do About It) with Steve Biddulph full a8a69408-494f-4df3-87e4-99eb0e282190 https://share.transistor.fm/s/3a8fa251 In this episode, Shaun Dawson sits down with Steve Biddulph, a world-renowned psychologist, educator, and author of the global bestsellers Raising Boys and The New Manhood. With over three decades of experience, Steve explores the "quiet crisis" facing boys today—from school environments that disadvantage their slower biological development to a digital landscape that is rewriting the rules of adolescence. This conversation is a roadmap for parents who want to raise emotionally healthy sons of character, courage, and conviction.

Key Takeaways

  1. The Biological Development Gap: Testosterone in the womb slows male development; by the time boys reach school age, they are often 6 to 12 months behind girls in speech and fine motor skills.
  2. The Case for "Holding Back": Many boys benefit significantly from starting school one year later, allowing them to match the maturity of their female peers and avoid a lifelong trajectory of restlessness and academic discouragement.Mirror Learning & Masculine Virtues: Qualities like patience and kindness are "caught, not taught." Boys need thousands of hours of male company to absorb these complex, nonverbal skills through their nervous systems.
  3. Combating Digital Miseducation: Parents must actively counter the harmful "algorithmic" effects of social media and the "miseducation" of pornography by setting firm boundaries—such as no devices in bedrooms and supporting under-16 social media bans.
  4. The Father as a Safety Anchor: A father’s most important role is to be a "safety go-to guy". True strength lies in a father’s ability to manage his own strong feelings so his son never feels the need to protect himself from his own father.

Quotes 

"You give a man the right help, he will turn around."


"I made sure he knew what a good man looked like because you can't turn into one if you've never seen one." (Quoting a single mother’s wisdom on role models)


"A good kid is a still kid... but his body's screaming." (On the physical difficulty boys face sitting at desks in traditional classrooms)


Timestamps / Chapter Markers

00:00 — “That Book Saved My Life”

00:34 — The Quiet Crisis Facing Boys

01:12 — Meet Steve Biddulph

01:56 — The Family Therapy Breakthrough

03:59 — Fathers Who Loved but Couldn’t Connect

4:47 — Personal Grief and the Awakening

06:11 — When Men Don’t Know How to Support Each Other

07:28 — Why Boys Start School at a Disadvantage

08:26 — Testosterone Slows Male Development

09:45 — Boys Are Born Vulnerable

10:38 — A One-Year Developmental Gap

11:55 — Language, Fine Motor Skills, and Shame

12:28 — “Just Hold Him Back a Year”

13:33 — Sean’s Story: Skipped Grades and Silent Anxiety

15:30 — The Power of Repeating a Year

16:23 — When Big Bodies Create Unrealistic Expectations

17:44 — How Boys’ Bodies Develop

18:28 — “Move Me”

19:29 — What Boy-Friendly Schools Do Differently

20:58 — Father Absence and Modern Reality

21:26 — Single Mothers Have Always Raised Good Men

23:05 — “He Needs to See What a Good Man Looks Like”

25:09 — Recruiting Male Role Models

27:04 — Men Will Say Yes When Asked

28:10 — What Makes a “Good Man”?

29:18 — Patience Is a Physical Skill

30:50 — Mirror Learning and Role Modelling

31:46 — The Digital Wild West

33:22 — Australia’s Under-16 Social Media Ban

35:06 — Parenting Against the Herd

36:55 — Talking to Kids About Pornography

38:23 — Devices Out of Bedrooms

39:40 — One Operating Principle for Raising Men

40:23 — Hurt Creates Hurt

41:00 — Be Your Child’s Safe Place

41:51 — Final Reflections

42:39 — Closing Credits

Resources, Concepts, and Books Mentioned


Connect with Steve Biddulph

]]> In this episode, Shaun Dawson sits down with Steve Biddulph, a world-renowned psychologist, educator, and author of the global bestsellers Raising Boys and The New Manhood. With over three decades of experience, Steve explores the "quiet crisis" facing boys today—from school environments that disadvantage their slower biological development to a digital landscape that is rewriting the rules of adolescence. This conversation is a roadmap for parents who want to raise emotionally healthy sons of character, courage, and conviction.

Key Takeaways

  1. The Biological Development Gap: Testosterone in the womb slows male development; by the time boys reach school age, they are often 6 to 12 months behind girls in speech and fine motor skills.
  2. The Case for "Holding Back": Many boys benefit significantly from starting school one year later, allowing them to match the maturity of their female peers and avoid a lifelong trajectory of restlessness and academic discouragement.Mirror Learning & Masculine Virtues: Qualities like patience and kindness are "caught, not taught." Boys need thousands of hours of male company to absorb these complex, nonverbal skills through their nervous systems.
  3. Combating Digital Miseducation: Parents must actively counter the harmful "algorithmic" effects of social media and the "miseducation" of pornography by setting firm boundaries—such as no devices in bedrooms and supporting under-16 social media bans.
  4. The Father as a Safety Anchor: A father’s most important role is to be a "safety go-to guy". True strength lies in a father’s ability to manage his own strong feelings so his son never feels the need to protect himself from his own father.

Quotes 

"You give a man the right help, he will turn around."


"I made sure he knew what a good man looked like because you can't turn into one if you've never seen one." (Quoting a single mother’s wisdom on role models)


"A good kid is a still kid... but his body's screaming." (On the physical difficulty boys face sitting at desks in traditional classrooms)


Timestamps / Chapter Markers

00:00 — “That Book Saved My Life”

00:34 — The Quiet Crisis Facing Boys

01:12 — Meet Steve Biddulph

01:56 — The Family Therapy Breakthrough

03:59 — Fathers Who Loved but Couldn’t Connect

4:47 — Personal Grief and the Awakening

06:11 — When Men Don’t Know How to Support Each Other

07:28 — Why Boys Start School at a Disadvantage

08:26 — Testosterone Slows Male Development

09:45 — Boys Are Born Vulnerable

10:38 — A One-Year Developmental Gap

11:55 — Language, Fine Motor Skills, and Shame

12:28 — “Just Hold Him Back a Year”

13:33 — Sean’s Story: Skipped Grades and Silent Anxiety

15:30 — The Power of Repeating a Year

16:23 — When Big Bodies Create Unrealistic Expectations

17:44 — How Boys’ Bodies Develop

18:28 — “Move Me”

19:29 — What Boy-Friendly Schools Do Differently

20:58 — Father Absence and Modern Reality

21:26 — Single Mothers Have Always Raised Good Men

23:05 — “He Needs to See What a Good Man Looks Like”

25:09 — Recruiting Male Role Models

27:04 — Men Will Say Yes When Asked

28:10 — What Makes a “Good Man”?

29:18 — Patience Is a Physical Skill

30:50 — Mirror Learning and Role Modelling

31:46 — The Digital Wild West

33:22 — Australia’s Under-16 Social Media Ban

35:06 — Parenting Against the Herd

36:55 — Talking to Kids About Pornography

38:23 — Devices Out of Bedrooms

39:40 — One Operating Principle for Raising Men

40:23 — Hurt Creates Hurt

41:00 — Be Your Child’s Safe Place

41:51 — Final Reflections

42:39 — Closing Credits

Resources, Concepts, and Books Mentioned


Connect with Steve Biddulph

]]> Wed, 04 Feb 2026 03:00:00 -0800 Shaun Dawson Shaun Dawson 2568 In this episode, Shaun Dawson sits down with Steve Biddulph, a world-renowned psychologist, educator, and author of the global bestsellers Raising Boys and The New Manhood. With over three decades of experience, Steve explores the "quiet crisis" facing boys today—from school environments that disadvantage their slower biological development to a digital landscape that is rewriting the rules of adolescence. This conversation is a roadmap for parents who want to raise emotionally healthy sons of character, courage, and conviction.

Key Takeaways

  1. The Biological Development Gap: Testosterone in the womb slows male development; by the time boys reach school age, they are often 6 to 12 months behind girls in speech and fine motor skills.
  2. The Case for "Holding Back": Many boys benefit significantly from starting school one year later, allowing them to match the maturity of their female peers and avoid a lifelong trajectory of restlessness and academic discouragement.Mirror Learning & Masculine Virtues: Qualities like patience and kindness are "caught, not taught." Boys need thousands of hours of male company to absorb these complex, nonverbal skills through their nervous systems.
  3. Combating Digital Miseducation: Parents must actively counter the harmful "algorithmic" effects of social media and the "miseducation" of pornography by setting firm boundaries—such as no devices in bedrooms and supporting under-16 social media bans.
  4. The Father as a Safety Anchor: A father’s most important role is to be a "safety go-to guy". True strength lies in a father’s ability to manage his own strong feelings so his son never feels the need to protect himself from his own father.

Quotes 

"You give a man the right help, he will turn around."


"I made sure he knew what a good man looked like because you can't turn into one if you've never seen one." (Quoting a single mother’s wisdom on role models)


"A good kid is a still kid... but his body's screaming." (On the physical difficulty boys face sitting at desks in traditional classrooms)


Timestamps / Chapter Markers

00:00 — “That Book Saved My Life”

00:34 — The Quiet Crisis Facing Boys

01:12 — Meet Steve Biddulph

01:56 — The Family Therapy Breakthrough

03:59 — Fathers Who Loved but Couldn’t Connect

4:47 — Personal Grief and the Awakening

06:11 — When Men Don’t Know How to Support Each Other

07:28 — Why Boys Start School at a Disadvantage

08:26 — Testosterone Slows Male Development

09:45 — Boys Are Born Vulnerable

10:38 — A One-Year Developmental Gap

11:55 — Language, Fine Motor Skills, and Shame

12:28 — “Just Hold Him Back a Year”

13:33 — Sean’s Story: Skipped Grades and Silent Anxiety

15:30 — The Power of Repeating a Year

16:23 — When Big Bodies Create Unrealistic Expectations

17:44 — How Boys’ Bodies Develop

18:28 — “Move Me”

19:29 — What Boy-Friendly Schools Do Differently

20:58 — Father Absence and Modern Reality

21:26 — Single Mothers Have Always Raised Good Men

23:05 — “He Needs to See What a Good Man Looks Like”

25:09 — Recruiting Male Role Models

27:04 — Men Will Say Yes When Asked

28:10 — What Makes a “Good Man”?

29:18 — Patience Is a Physical Skill

30:50 — Mirror Learning and Role Modelling

31:46 — The Digital Wild West

33:22 — Australia’s Under-16 Social Media Ban

35:06 — Parenting Against the Herd

36:55 — Talking to Kids About Pornography

38:23 — Devices Out of Bedrooms

39:40 — One Operating Principle for Raising Men

40:23 — Hurt Creates Hurt

41:00 — Be Your Child’s Safe Place

41:51 — Final Reflections

42:39 — Closing Credits

Resources, Concepts, and Books Mentioned


Connect with Steve Biddulph

]]> raising boys, steve biddulph No Battles Before the Battlefield: Aaron Blaine on Becoming the Father He Never Had 15 15 Battles Before the Battlefield: Aaron Blaine on Becoming the Father He Never Had full 16a60c04-d369-479d-a639-1e50e4dde7ad https://share.transistor.fm/s/39a225da Retired Green Beret and Wild Ops Box founder Aaron Blaine joins Raising Men to talk about the battles he faced long before combat — growing up fatherless, angry, and adrift — and how pain, discipline, and purpose forged him into the man and father he is today. In this conversation, Aaron and Shaun unpack lessons from military life, the transition back home, and the inner healing that led to his mission of helping fathers and sons reconnect through Wild Ops Box. From men’s circles and emotional breakthroughs to teaching his kids the power of boundaries, Aaron shows that leadership at home begins with self-awareness and service

Key Takeaways

  • Pain can be a catalyst for growth — our response determines whether it breaks us or builds us.
  • Kids mirror our emotions — a calm home starts with calm parents.
  • Boundaries are love — saying no teaches children self-respect and limits.
  • Connection needs structure — rituals, shared experiences, and written family values keep a home aligned.
  • Service above self — true masculinity means protecting, guiding, and serving before leading.


Pull Quotes

“You get to choose what it does to you. You get to choose how you react — that’s an active choice that can propel you forward.”


“We make vows to our wives, but maybe we should make vows to our kids — that’s the most permanent relationship we’ll ever have.”


“Discipline without direction is just control — but discipline with purpose changes lives.


“Kids don’t care what we say; it’s what they see and feel us do that really matters.”


Timestamps / Chapter Markers

00:00 — Leading From the Front at Home

Why allowing kids to shape the vision of the household builds accountability and leadership.

00:31 — From Fatherless to Green Beret

Aaron Blaine’s early life, losing his father, and the path that shaped his resilience.

02:03 — Trauma as a Catalyst for Growth

How pain, loss, and chaos became fuel instead of a life sentence.

05:57 — Choosing Growth Over Destruction

Why adversity can either break you—or make you great.

07:18 — Legacy Lives Beyond Presence

How parents continue shaping us long after they’re gone.

09:16 — Birth, Death, and the Urgency of Time

A powerful reflection on life’s brevity and what truly matters.

11:11 — Service Above Self

Why volunteering, slowing down, and gratitude change everything.

13:00 — Redefining Wellness: Body, Mind, and Spirit

Why true health goes far beyond fitness.

14:22 — What Becoming a Green Beret Teaches About Discipline

Autonomy, self-mastery, and learning to embrace discomfort.

18:52 — Anger, Fatherhood, and Emotional Regulation

How Aaron learned to manage anger while raising young children.

20:54 — The Men’s Group That Changed Everything

Vulnerability, emotional awareness, and breaking lifelong patterns.

23:32 — Kids Mirror Our Energy

Why parents must regulate themselves before correcting behavior.

25:12 — Guilt, Overcompensating, and Boundaries

Why saying “no” is part of being a good father.

26:52 — Teaching Boundaries Is Teaching Respect

How limits help children navigate the real world.

28:44 — Learning to Love the Ketchup

Choosing meaning over irritation in everyday parenting moments.

30:39 — Discomfort as a Superpower

Why learning to embrace discomfort creates growth and resilience.

33:13 — The Birth of Wild Ops Box

How lost institutions inspired a modern solution for fathers and kids.

35:18 — Leaving the Army and Losing Identity

The hidden struggle many veterans face after service.

37:43 — Survival Skills as a Path to Connection

Why outdoor education builds confidence and family bonds.

40:04 — Betting on Purpose, Not Ego

Building something meaningful without burning everything down.

43:32 — A Father’s Proud Moment

When Aaron’s son confidently joined an interview—and what it represented.

45:19 — Becoming a Girl Dad

How having a daughter softened and strengthened him at the same time.

49:33 — Raising Boys vs. Raising Girls

Masculinity, protection, and emotional presence.

52:51 — Vows to Your Children

Why fathers should commit publicly to their kids, not just spouses.

55:46 — Wild Ops Box as a Ritual, Not a Product

Using skill-building to create meaningful family conversations.

57:42 — Letting Kids Define Family Values

Why ownership creates accountability.

58:49 — Connection vs. Independence

Helping kids balance closeness with autonomy.

01:01:59 — Modeling Matters More Than Teaching

Why kids follow what we do—not what we say.

01:04:33 — A Message to Disconnected Fathers

Start with intention, presence, and small daily actions.

01:06:45 — The Critical Window: Ages 7–14

Why these years shape who children become.

01:08:56 — When Kids Handle Conflict

Why parents sometimes need to step back.

01:12:30 — Guidance Without Shame

How to correct behavior without damaging trust.

01:16:07 — “Eat Last” as a Life Principle

Service, discipline, and modeling leadership at home.

01:19:24 — Community, Responsibility, and Legacy

Why men must guide not just their families—but their communities.

01:20:05 — Closing Reflections

Turning pain into purpose and raising men who lead with strength.


Supporting Content

]]> Retired Green Beret and Wild Ops Box founder Aaron Blaine joins Raising Men to talk about the battles he faced long before combat — growing up fatherless, angry, and adrift — and how pain, discipline, and purpose forged him into the man and father he is today. In this conversation, Aaron and Shaun unpack lessons from military life, the transition back home, and the inner healing that led to his mission of helping fathers and sons reconnect through Wild Ops Box. From men’s circles and emotional breakthroughs to teaching his kids the power of boundaries, Aaron shows that leadership at home begins with self-awareness and service

Key Takeaways

  • Pain can be a catalyst for growth — our response determines whether it breaks us or builds us.
  • Kids mirror our emotions — a calm home starts with calm parents.
  • Boundaries are love — saying no teaches children self-respect and limits.
  • Connection needs structure — rituals, shared experiences, and written family values keep a home aligned.
  • Service above self — true masculinity means protecting, guiding, and serving before leading.


Pull Quotes

“You get to choose what it does to you. You get to choose how you react — that’s an active choice that can propel you forward.”


“We make vows to our wives, but maybe we should make vows to our kids — that’s the most permanent relationship we’ll ever have.”


“Discipline without direction is just control — but discipline with purpose changes lives.


“Kids don’t care what we say; it’s what they see and feel us do that really matters.”


Timestamps / Chapter Markers

00:00 — Leading From the Front at Home

Why allowing kids to shape the vision of the household builds accountability and leadership.

00:31 — From Fatherless to Green Beret

Aaron Blaine’s early life, losing his father, and the path that shaped his resilience.

02:03 — Trauma as a Catalyst for Growth

How pain, loss, and chaos became fuel instead of a life sentence.

05:57 — Choosing Growth Over Destruction

Why adversity can either break you—or make you great.

07:18 — Legacy Lives Beyond Presence

How parents continue shaping us long after they’re gone.

09:16 — Birth, Death, and the Urgency of Time

A powerful reflection on life’s brevity and what truly matters.

11:11 — Service Above Self

Why volunteering, slowing down, and gratitude change everything.

13:00 — Redefining Wellness: Body, Mind, and Spirit

Why true health goes far beyond fitness.

14:22 — What Becoming a Green Beret Teaches About Discipline

Autonomy, self-mastery, and learning to embrace discomfort.

18:52 — Anger, Fatherhood, and Emotional Regulation

How Aaron learned to manage anger while raising young children.

20:54 — The Men’s Group That Changed Everything

Vulnerability, emotional awareness, and breaking lifelong patterns.

23:32 — Kids Mirror Our Energy

Why parents must regulate themselves before correcting behavior.

25:12 — Guilt, Overcompensating, and Boundaries

Why saying “no” is part of being a good father.

26:52 — Teaching Boundaries Is Teaching Respect

How limits help children navigate the real world.

28:44 — Learning to Love the Ketchup

Choosing meaning over irritation in everyday parenting moments.

30:39 — Discomfort as a Superpower

Why learning to embrace discomfort creates growth and resilience.

33:13 — The Birth of Wild Ops Box

How lost institutions inspired a modern solution for fathers and kids.

35:18 — Leaving the Army and Losing Identity

The hidden struggle many veterans face after service.

37:43 — Survival Skills as a Path to Connection

Why outdoor education builds confidence and family bonds.

40:04 — Betting on Purpose, Not Ego

Building something meaningful without burning everything down.

43:32 — A Father’s Proud Moment

When Aaron’s son confidently joined an interview—and what it represented.

45:19 — Becoming a Girl Dad

How having a daughter softened and strengthened him at the same time.

49:33 — Raising Boys vs. Raising Girls

Masculinity, protection, and emotional presence.

52:51 — Vows to Your Children

Why fathers should commit publicly to their kids, not just spouses.

55:46 — Wild Ops Box as a Ritual, Not a Product

Using skill-building to create meaningful family conversations.

57:42 — Letting Kids Define Family Values

Why ownership creates accountability.

58:49 — Connection vs. Independence

Helping kids balance closeness with autonomy.

01:01:59 — Modeling Matters More Than Teaching

Why kids follow what we do—not what we say.

01:04:33 — A Message to Disconnected Fathers

Start with intention, presence, and small daily actions.

01:06:45 — The Critical Window: Ages 7–14

Why these years shape who children become.

01:08:56 — When Kids Handle Conflict

Why parents sometimes need to step back.

01:12:30 — Guidance Without Shame

How to correct behavior without damaging trust.

01:16:07 — “Eat Last” as a Life Principle

Service, discipline, and modeling leadership at home.

01:19:24 — Community, Responsibility, and Legacy

Why men must guide not just their families—but their communities.

01:20:05 — Closing Reflections

Turning pain into purpose and raising men who lead with strength.


Supporting Content

]]> Wed, 28 Jan 2026 03:00:00 -0800 Shaun Dawson Shaun Dawson 4818 Retired Green Beret and Wild Ops Box founder Aaron Blaine joins Raising Men to talk about the battles he faced long before combat — growing up fatherless, angry, and adrift — and how pain, discipline, and purpose forged him into the man and father he is today. In this conversation, Aaron and Shaun unpack lessons from military life, the transition back home, and the inner healing that led to his mission of helping fathers and sons reconnect through Wild Ops Box. From men’s circles and emotional breakthroughs to teaching his kids the power of boundaries, Aaron shows that leadership at home begins with self-awareness and service

Key Takeaways

  • Pain can be a catalyst for growth — our response determines whether it breaks us or builds us.
  • Kids mirror our emotions — a calm home starts with calm parents.
  • Boundaries are love — saying no teaches children self-respect and limits.
  • Connection needs structure — rituals, shared experiences, and written family values keep a home aligned.
  • Service above self — true masculinity means protecting, guiding, and serving before leading.


Pull Quotes

“You get to choose what it does to you. You get to choose how you react — that’s an active choice that can propel you forward.”


“We make vows to our wives, but maybe we should make vows to our kids — that’s the most permanent relationship we’ll ever have.”


“Discipline without direction is just control — but discipline with purpose changes lives.


“Kids don’t care what we say; it’s what they see and feel us do that really matters.”


Timestamps / Chapter Markers

00:00 — Leading From the Front at Home

Why allowing kids to shape the vision of the household builds accountability and leadership.

00:31 — From Fatherless to Green Beret

Aaron Blaine’s early life, losing his father, and the path that shaped his resilience.

02:03 — Trauma as a Catalyst for Growth

How pain, loss, and chaos became fuel instead of a life sentence.

05:57 — Choosing Growth Over Destruction

Why adversity can either break you—or make you great.

07:18 — Legacy Lives Beyond Presence

How parents continue shaping us long after they’re gone.

09:16 — Birth, Death, and the Urgency of Time

A powerful reflection on life’s brevity and what truly matters.

11:11 — Service Above Self

Why volunteering, slowing down, and gratitude change everything.

13:00 — Redefining Wellness: Body, Mind, and Spirit

Why true health goes far beyond fitness.

14:22 — What Becoming a Green Beret Teaches About Discipline

Autonomy, self-mastery, and learning to embrace discomfort.

18:52 — Anger, Fatherhood, and Emotional Regulation

How Aaron learned to manage anger while raising young children.

20:54 — The Men’s Group That Changed Everything

Vulnerability, emotional awareness, and breaking lifelong patterns.

23:32 — Kids Mirror Our Energy

Why parents must regulate themselves before correcting behavior.

25:12 — Guilt, Overcompensating, and Boundaries

Why saying “no” is part of being a good father.

26:52 — Teaching Boundaries Is Teaching Respect

How limits help children navigate the real world.

28:44 — Learning to Love the Ketchup

Choosing meaning over irritation in everyday parenting moments.

30:39 — Discomfort as a Superpower

Why learning to embrace discomfort creates growth and resilience.

33:13 — The Birth of Wild Ops Box

How lost institutions inspired a modern solution for fathers and kids.

35:18 — Leaving the Army and Losing Identity

The hidden struggle many veterans face after service.

37:43 — Survival Skills as a Path to Connection

Why outdoor education builds confidence and family bonds.

40:04 — Betting on Purpose, Not Ego

Building something meaningful without burning everything down.

43:32 — A Father’s Proud Moment

When Aaron’s son confidently joined an interview—and what it represented.

45:19 — Becoming a Girl Dad

How having a daughter softened and strengthened him at the same time.

49:33 — Raising Boys vs. Raising Girls

Masculinity, protection, and emotional presence.

52:51 — Vows to Your Children

Why fathers should commit publicly to their kids, not just spouses.

55:46 — Wild Ops Box as a Ritual, Not a Product

Using skill-building to create meaningful family conversations.

57:42 — Letting Kids Define Family Values

Why ownership creates accountability.

58:49 — Connection vs. Independence

Helping kids balance closeness with autonomy.

01:01:59 — Modeling Matters More Than Teaching

Why kids follow what we do—not what we say.

01:04:33 — A Message to Disconnected Fathers

Start with intention, presence, and small daily actions.

01:06:45 — The Critical Window: Ages 7–14

Why these years shape who children become.

01:08:56 — When Kids Handle Conflict

Why parents sometimes need to step back.

01:12:30 — Guidance Without Shame

How to correct behavior without damaging trust.

01:16:07 — “Eat Last” as a Life Principle

Service, discipline, and modeling leadership at home.

01:19:24 — Community, Responsibility, and Legacy

Why men must guide not just their families—but their communities.

01:20:05 — Closing Reflections

Turning pain into purpose and raising men who lead with strength.


Supporting Content

]]> Keywords parenting, mindset, personal growth, relationships, decision making, emotional intelligence, mentorship, perspective shift, family dynamics, self-awareness No Raising Great Guys in a World That Misunderstands Males with Jennifer L.W. Fink 14 14 Raising Great Guys in a World That Misunderstands Males with Jennifer L.W. Fink full 3d353373-68c1-4fa8-b187-69e0158b58b2 https://share.transistor.fm/s/244be1f8 In this episode, Shaun sits down with Jennifer L.W. Fink—writer, nurse, mother of four boys, and author of Building Boys. Jennifer brings decades of lived experience and research to help us understand what boys really need: space, presence, and parents who see them as they truly are. Together, they explore why boys are often misunderstood, how parents can respond with calm instead of fear, and what it means to raise great guys in a world full of mixed messages.

Topics Covered

  1. Developmental differences between boys and girls – Why boys aren’t behind or broken; they simply develop on a different timeline. 
  2. Why boys are often misunderstood – From poop drawings to impulse-control moments, adults misinterpret normal development as misbehavior. 
  3. Parenting through fear – How cultural narratives (MeToo era) cause parents to overreact to boy behavior. 
  4. How to respond with connection – Curiosity over punishment; presence over panic.
  5. Healthy masculinity – Risk-taking, independence, protectiveness, physical play.
  6. Letting boys lead – Facilitating interests instead of rejecting them (e.g., Minecraft, gaming, tinkering). raising-men-podcast-recording-w…
  7. How parents can model calm leadership – High standards + connection = growth.
  8. Why boys disconnect – When they are shamed for their instincts, they stop trying.


Pull Quotes 

“Look at the boy in front of you. Not the boy you fear he might become — the boy who’s here right now.”


“Boys aren’t broken. They’re developing on a different timeline, and when we don’t understand that, they start believing they’re the problem.”


“When boys feel like who they are is wrong, they check out. When they feel seen, they thrive.”


Books, Ideas & Content Mentioned


]]> In this episode, Shaun sits down with Jennifer L.W. Fink—writer, nurse, mother of four boys, and author of Building Boys. Jennifer brings decades of lived experience and research to help us understand what boys really need: space, presence, and parents who see them as they truly are. Together, they explore why boys are often misunderstood, how parents can respond with calm instead of fear, and what it means to raise great guys in a world full of mixed messages.

Topics Covered

  1. Developmental differences between boys and girls – Why boys aren’t behind or broken; they simply develop on a different timeline. 
  2. Why boys are often misunderstood – From poop drawings to impulse-control moments, adults misinterpret normal development as misbehavior. 
  3. Parenting through fear – How cultural narratives (MeToo era) cause parents to overreact to boy behavior. 
  4. How to respond with connection – Curiosity over punishment; presence over panic.
  5. Healthy masculinity – Risk-taking, independence, protectiveness, physical play.
  6. Letting boys lead – Facilitating interests instead of rejecting them (e.g., Minecraft, gaming, tinkering). raising-men-podcast-recording-w…
  7. How parents can model calm leadership – High standards + connection = growth.
  8. Why boys disconnect – When they are shamed for their instincts, they stop trying.


Pull Quotes 

“Look at the boy in front of you. Not the boy you fear he might become — the boy who’s here right now.”


“Boys aren’t broken. They’re developing on a different timeline, and when we don’t understand that, they start believing they’re the problem.”


“When boys feel like who they are is wrong, they check out. When they feel seen, they thrive.”


Books, Ideas & Content Mentioned


]]> Wed, 21 Jan 2026 03:00:00 -0800 Shaun Dawson Shaun Dawson 3480 In this episode, Shaun sits down with Jennifer L.W. Fink—writer, nurse, mother of four boys, and author of Building Boys. Jennifer brings decades of lived experience and research to help us understand what boys really need: space, presence, and parents who see them as they truly are. Together, they explore why boys are often misunderstood, how parents can respond with calm instead of fear, and what it means to raise great guys in a world full of mixed messages.

Topics Covered

  1. Developmental differences between boys and girls – Why boys aren’t behind or broken; they simply develop on a different timeline. 
  2. Why boys are often misunderstood – From poop drawings to impulse-control moments, adults misinterpret normal development as misbehavior. 
  3. Parenting through fear – How cultural narratives (MeToo era) cause parents to overreact to boy behavior. 
  4. How to respond with connection – Curiosity over punishment; presence over panic.
  5. Healthy masculinity – Risk-taking, independence, protectiveness, physical play.
  6. Letting boys lead – Facilitating interests instead of rejecting them (e.g., Minecraft, gaming, tinkering). raising-men-podcast-recording-w…
  7. How parents can model calm leadership – High standards + connection = growth.
  8. Why boys disconnect – When they are shamed for their instincts, they stop trying.


Pull Quotes 

“Look at the boy in front of you. Not the boy you fear he might become — the boy who’s here right now.”


“Boys aren’t broken. They’re developing on a different timeline, and when we don’t understand that, they start believing they’re the problem.”


“When boys feel like who they are is wrong, they check out. When they feel seen, they thrive.”


Books, Ideas & Content Mentioned


]]> parenting, raising boys, fatherhood No How Storytelling Helps Us Raise Men with Paul Kix 13 13 How Storytelling Helps Us Raise Men with Paul Kix full 002e5cc2-860d-4ead-9231-68115a938a5c https://share.transistor.fm/s/989304c6 Paul Kix built a career telling powerful human stories—from ESPN to bestselling books. But becoming a father pushed him to rewrite the narrative of masculinity itself. In this conversation, Paul shares what he’s learned about raising boys to be strong and gentle, confident and vulnerable. We go deep on identity, authenticity, inner courage, and why sometimes the bravest thing a dad can do is admit he doesn’t have all the answers.

Key Takeaways / Topics Covered

  • Masculinity must include kindness, empathy, and emotional presence, not just strength.
  • Modeling repair, not perfection — kids learn by watching how we handle mistakes.
  • Vulnerability is true tensile strength — like bridges built to flex without breaking.
  • Therapy, reflection, and emotional self-awareness are part of modern fatherhood.
  • Raising biracial sons means helping them define identity from the inside out, not from labels society imposes.
  • Saying no to broken systems (raffles, rewards, status pressure) teaches kids integrity and independence.
  • Authentic storytelling builds connection — peers relate more to flaws than achievements.
  • Reinvention is possible — pivot your skillset instead of clinging to dying industries.
  • Courage = pushing past fear while staying grounded through reflection and spiritual guidance.

Pull Quotes

“If all you do is project strength, you become brittle. Vulnerability is what keeps you from breaking.”


“We connect more to each other’s flaws than to each other’s victories.”


“Remember that the kingdom of God is within you — live out the purpose planted inside.”


Timestamps / Chapter Markers

  • 00:22 Official Introduction (Introducing Paul Kix, journalist and author)
  • 00:54 Storytelling and the Narrative of Fatherhood (Holistic masculinity, kindness, and modeling repair)
  • 02:44 Pivoting to Partner: A Wife's Need
  • 04:20 From Farmer to Modern Man (Embracing therapy and vulnerability)
  • 07:51 The Tensile Strength of Bridges (Flexibility vs. brittle tension)
  • 11:21 Performative vs. Quiet Confidence (The ultimate flex: Barry Sanders)
  • 14:55 Reinventing Career After Corporate Media (Starting the newsletter/digital course)
  • 20:29 Staring Down Fear and Catastrophizing (The path to true self)
  • 24:05 The Power of Authenticity and Chronicling Flaws (Finding "the gripe")
  • 28:34 Raising Biracial Sons (Identity, the "one-drop rule," and the shift in discourse)
  • 35:36 The School Fundraiser Dilemma (Principled stand vs. bullying)
  • 38:57 Similar Stand in Little League (Questioning the raffle)
  • 44:36 The Decision: Legoland and Life Lessons (Minimizing hardship)
  • 46:58 Kids Absorb What You Do (Henson quote)
  • 47:51 One Principle for Raising Men (The Kingdom of God is within you)
  • 52:43 Closing Remarks

Supporting Content

Paul’s Storytelling Newsletter (highly praised in the episode!) https://paulkix.substack.com/

Storytelling Course: Storytelling You https://www.paul-kix.com/storytelling-you

https://www.storytellingyoukickstarter.com/


Other references

  • Brooklyn Bridge tensile strength metaphor (via therapist)
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson on purpose & self-trust
  • Luke 17: “The kingdom of God is within you”
]]> Paul Kix built a career telling powerful human stories—from ESPN to bestselling books. But becoming a father pushed him to rewrite the narrative of masculinity itself. In this conversation, Paul shares what he’s learned about raising boys to be strong and gentle, confident and vulnerable. We go deep on identity, authenticity, inner courage, and why sometimes the bravest thing a dad can do is admit he doesn’t have all the answers.

Key Takeaways / Topics Covered

  • Masculinity must include kindness, empathy, and emotional presence, not just strength.
  • Modeling repair, not perfection — kids learn by watching how we handle mistakes.
  • Vulnerability is true tensile strength — like bridges built to flex without breaking.
  • Therapy, reflection, and emotional self-awareness are part of modern fatherhood.
  • Raising biracial sons means helping them define identity from the inside out, not from labels society imposes.
  • Saying no to broken systems (raffles, rewards, status pressure) teaches kids integrity and independence.
  • Authentic storytelling builds connection — peers relate more to flaws than achievements.
  • Reinvention is possible — pivot your skillset instead of clinging to dying industries.
  • Courage = pushing past fear while staying grounded through reflection and spiritual guidance.

Pull Quotes

“If all you do is project strength, you become brittle. Vulnerability is what keeps you from breaking.”


“We connect more to each other’s flaws than to each other’s victories.”


“Remember that the kingdom of God is within you — live out the purpose planted inside.”


Timestamps / Chapter Markers

  • 00:22 Official Introduction (Introducing Paul Kix, journalist and author)
  • 00:54 Storytelling and the Narrative of Fatherhood (Holistic masculinity, kindness, and modeling repair)
  • 02:44 Pivoting to Partner: A Wife's Need
  • 04:20 From Farmer to Modern Man (Embracing therapy and vulnerability)
  • 07:51 The Tensile Strength of Bridges (Flexibility vs. brittle tension)
  • 11:21 Performative vs. Quiet Confidence (The ultimate flex: Barry Sanders)
  • 14:55 Reinventing Career After Corporate Media (Starting the newsletter/digital course)
  • 20:29 Staring Down Fear and Catastrophizing (The path to true self)
  • 24:05 The Power of Authenticity and Chronicling Flaws (Finding "the gripe")
  • 28:34 Raising Biracial Sons (Identity, the "one-drop rule," and the shift in discourse)
  • 35:36 The School Fundraiser Dilemma (Principled stand vs. bullying)
  • 38:57 Similar Stand in Little League (Questioning the raffle)
  • 44:36 The Decision: Legoland and Life Lessons (Minimizing hardship)
  • 46:58 Kids Absorb What You Do (Henson quote)
  • 47:51 One Principle for Raising Men (The Kingdom of God is within you)
  • 52:43 Closing Remarks

Supporting Content

Paul’s Storytelling Newsletter (highly praised in the episode!) https://paulkix.substack.com/

Storytelling Course: Storytelling You https://www.paul-kix.com/storytelling-you

https://www.storytellingyoukickstarter.com/


Other references

  • Brooklyn Bridge tensile strength metaphor (via therapist)
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson on purpose & self-trust
  • Luke 17: “The kingdom of God is within you”
]]> Wed, 14 Jan 2026 03:00:00 -0800 Shaun Dawson Shaun Dawson 3231 Paul Kix built a career telling powerful human stories—from ESPN to bestselling books. But becoming a father pushed him to rewrite the narrative of masculinity itself. In this conversation, Paul shares what he’s learned about raising boys to be strong and gentle, confident and vulnerable. We go deep on identity, authenticity, inner courage, and why sometimes the bravest thing a dad can do is admit he doesn’t have all the answers.

Key Takeaways / Topics Covered

  • Masculinity must include kindness, empathy, and emotional presence, not just strength.
  • Modeling repair, not perfection — kids learn by watching how we handle mistakes.
  • Vulnerability is true tensile strength — like bridges built to flex without breaking.
  • Therapy, reflection, and emotional self-awareness are part of modern fatherhood.
  • Raising biracial sons means helping them define identity from the inside out, not from labels society imposes.
  • Saying no to broken systems (raffles, rewards, status pressure) teaches kids integrity and independence.
  • Authentic storytelling builds connection — peers relate more to flaws than achievements.
  • Reinvention is possible — pivot your skillset instead of clinging to dying industries.
  • Courage = pushing past fear while staying grounded through reflection and spiritual guidance.

Pull Quotes

“If all you do is project strength, you become brittle. Vulnerability is what keeps you from breaking.”


“We connect more to each other’s flaws than to each other’s victories.”


“Remember that the kingdom of God is within you — live out the purpose planted inside.”


Timestamps / Chapter Markers

  • 00:22 Official Introduction (Introducing Paul Kix, journalist and author)
  • 00:54 Storytelling and the Narrative of Fatherhood (Holistic masculinity, kindness, and modeling repair)
  • 02:44 Pivoting to Partner: A Wife's Need
  • 04:20 From Farmer to Modern Man (Embracing therapy and vulnerability)
  • 07:51 The Tensile Strength of Bridges (Flexibility vs. brittle tension)
  • 11:21 Performative vs. Quiet Confidence (The ultimate flex: Barry Sanders)
  • 14:55 Reinventing Career After Corporate Media (Starting the newsletter/digital course)
  • 20:29 Staring Down Fear and Catastrophizing (The path to true self)
  • 24:05 The Power of Authenticity and Chronicling Flaws (Finding "the gripe")
  • 28:34 Raising Biracial Sons (Identity, the "one-drop rule," and the shift in discourse)
  • 35:36 The School Fundraiser Dilemma (Principled stand vs. bullying)
  • 38:57 Similar Stand in Little League (Questioning the raffle)
  • 44:36 The Decision: Legoland and Life Lessons (Minimizing hardship)
  • 46:58 Kids Absorb What You Do (Henson quote)
  • 47:51 One Principle for Raising Men (The Kingdom of God is within you)
  • 52:43 Closing Remarks

Supporting Content

Paul’s Storytelling Newsletter (highly praised in the episode!) https://paulkix.substack.com/

Storytelling Course: Storytelling You https://www.paul-kix.com/storytelling-you

https://www.storytellingyoukickstarter.com/


Other references

  • Brooklyn Bridge tensile strength metaphor (via therapist)
  • Ralph Waldo Emerson on purpose & self-trust
  • Luke 17: “The kingdom of God is within you”
]]> masculinity, vulnerability, strength, identity, emotional health No The Imperative Habit of Raising Conscious Young Men with Dave Rossi 12 12 The Imperative Habit of Raising Conscious Young Men with Dave Rossi full 62df6696-3671-4fd5-8cad-e832725c830b https://share.transistor.fm/s/342e22e9  A deep dive into how Dave Rossi — entrepreneur turned mindfulness teacher and author of The Imperative Habit — reframes success, presence, and internal awareness for parents raising boys today. This episode explores how achievement culture shapes a boy’s identity, why inner peace matters more than winning, and how small daily rituals can help boys grow into grounded, self-aware young men. Dave brings practical habits, consciousness principles, and real-life insights that help families shift from performance to presence.

Key Takeaways / Topics Covered

  • Spiritual vs. Animal Self – We all have two modes: survival-driven instincts (fear, jealousy, scarcity) vs. conscious choice anchored in logic and values. Growth is choosing the latter.
  • Competition Should Elevate Everyone – When competition becomes about defeating others, it becomes poison — true winning is improving yourself.
  • Model Courage, Not Control – Kids internalize what they see far more than what they are told. Demonstrate discipline, resilience, and presence. 
  • Treat Kids as Equals – Respect their autonomy; give information and let them choose, even when that means allowing struggle. 
  • Praise Courage Over Achievement – Strength is facing internal resistance — physical or emotional. That’s what creates self-mastery.
  • Avoid Shame as a Motivator – Shame never produces growth. Pausing to reflect before reacting is a spiritual act.
  • Suffering Has a Purpose – Often pain is the catalyst for transformation and discovering one’s true path. raising-men-podcast-recording-w…


Timestamps / Chapter Markers

00:44 (Introducing Dave Rossi, entrepreneur and author)

01:14 The Fixed Pie vs. Variable Pie Mentality

(Competition and abundance)

03:09 The Squirrel Nut Theory

(Hoarding vs. Spiritual Power)

05:31 Redefining Winning

(Improving from the experience vs. prevailing)

06:40 The Paradox of Animal vs. Spirit

(Cognition over instinct)

07:53 Spiritual Self-Mastery

(Mind over body signals)

10:48 The Running Challenge

(Cultivating mental override in a 6-year-old)

12:42 The Spiritual Principle of Equality

(Treating your son like a client/boss)

14:26 Empowerment and the 40% Capacity Rule

(Letting him choose the push)

17:30 The Dangers of Parental Attachment and Shame

(The need for his choice)

19:52 Modeled Behavior as the Most Powerful Influence

20:25 The Reflex to Shame and the Spiritual Act of Withdrawal

23:14 The Two Brains: Conan vs. Sherlock Holmes

24:26 Emotional Biometrics and the Sabre-Toothed Tiger

26:30 Overcoming Programmed Fear

(The bridge jumping example)

28:55 Unconventional Parenting: Letting a Teenager Choose Risk

31:22 Accountability and Acceptance of Consequences

(The ADD example)

33:45 Coping with Extreme Behavior

(Addiction, empathy vs. compassion)

37:04 The Lesson of Suffering

(Letting a child hit rock bottom)

41:19 The New Book on Healthy Masculinity

(Shedding archetypes and masking)

44:11 The Strength of Vulnerability

(The boxer analogy)

47:20 Building Muscle Memory

(Behaving the way you want to be)

48:01 Nietzsche and the Ubermensch

(The tightrope walk to self-mastery)

50:35 Cultivating Courage and Awareness

(Praising courage over achievement)

52:41 One Principle: Treat Your Children Like Equals

54:19 Closing Remarks

Supporting Content

  • Books by Dave Rossi:
  • The Imperative Habit: 7 Non-Spiritual Practices Towards Spiritual Behavior
  • Alphas Die Early (upcoming/new release mentioned in the podcast)
  • Website: DaveRossiGlobal.com
  • Related books mentioned in the episode: 
    • Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
    • Journey of Souls by Michael Newton

Book

Key Ideas from the Book (w/ Sources)

Examples include:

]]>  A deep dive into how Dave Rossi — entrepreneur turned mindfulness teacher and author of The Imperative Habit — reframes success, presence, and internal awareness for parents raising boys today. This episode explores how achievement culture shapes a boy’s identity, why inner peace matters more than winning, and how small daily rituals can help boys grow into grounded, self-aware young men. Dave brings practical habits, consciousness principles, and real-life insights that help families shift from performance to presence.

Key Takeaways / Topics Covered

  • Spiritual vs. Animal Self – We all have two modes: survival-driven instincts (fear, jealousy, scarcity) vs. conscious choice anchored in logic and values. Growth is choosing the latter.
  • Competition Should Elevate Everyone – When competition becomes about defeating others, it becomes poison — true winning is improving yourself.
  • Model Courage, Not Control – Kids internalize what they see far more than what they are told. Demonstrate discipline, resilience, and presence. 
  • Treat Kids as Equals – Respect their autonomy; give information and let them choose, even when that means allowing struggle. 
  • Praise Courage Over Achievement – Strength is facing internal resistance — physical or emotional. That’s what creates self-mastery.
  • Avoid Shame as a Motivator – Shame never produces growth. Pausing to reflect before reacting is a spiritual act.
  • Suffering Has a Purpose – Often pain is the catalyst for transformation and discovering one’s true path. raising-men-podcast-recording-w…


Timestamps / Chapter Markers

00:44 (Introducing Dave Rossi, entrepreneur and author)

01:14 The Fixed Pie vs. Variable Pie Mentality

(Competition and abundance)

03:09 The Squirrel Nut Theory

(Hoarding vs. Spiritual Power)

05:31 Redefining Winning

(Improving from the experience vs. prevailing)

06:40 The Paradox of Animal vs. Spirit

(Cognition over instinct)

07:53 Spiritual Self-Mastery

(Mind over body signals)

10:48 The Running Challenge

(Cultivating mental override in a 6-year-old)

12:42 The Spiritual Principle of Equality

(Treating your son like a client/boss)

14:26 Empowerment and the 40% Capacity Rule

(Letting him choose the push)

17:30 The Dangers of Parental Attachment and Shame

(The need for his choice)

19:52 Modeled Behavior as the Most Powerful Influence

20:25 The Reflex to Shame and the Spiritual Act of Withdrawal

23:14 The Two Brains: Conan vs. Sherlock Holmes

24:26 Emotional Biometrics and the Sabre-Toothed Tiger

26:30 Overcoming Programmed Fear

(The bridge jumping example)

28:55 Unconventional Parenting: Letting a Teenager Choose Risk

31:22 Accountability and Acceptance of Consequences

(The ADD example)

33:45 Coping with Extreme Behavior

(Addiction, empathy vs. compassion)

37:04 The Lesson of Suffering

(Letting a child hit rock bottom)

41:19 The New Book on Healthy Masculinity

(Shedding archetypes and masking)

44:11 The Strength of Vulnerability

(The boxer analogy)

47:20 Building Muscle Memory

(Behaving the way you want to be)

48:01 Nietzsche and the Ubermensch

(The tightrope walk to self-mastery)

50:35 Cultivating Courage and Awareness

(Praising courage over achievement)

52:41 One Principle: Treat Your Children Like Equals

54:19 Closing Remarks

Supporting Content

  • Books by Dave Rossi:
  • The Imperative Habit: 7 Non-Spiritual Practices Towards Spiritual Behavior
  • Alphas Die Early (upcoming/new release mentioned in the podcast)
  • Website: DaveRossiGlobal.com
  • Related books mentioned in the episode: 
    • Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
    • Journey of Souls by Michael Newton

Book

Key Ideas from the Book (w/ Sources)

Examples include:

]]> Wed, 07 Jan 2026 03:00:00 -0800 Shaun Dawson Shaun Dawson 3287  A deep dive into how Dave Rossi — entrepreneur turned mindfulness teacher and author of The Imperative Habit — reframes success, presence, and internal awareness for parents raising boys today. This episode explores how achievement culture shapes a boy’s identity, why inner peace matters more than winning, and how small daily rituals can help boys grow into grounded, self-aware young men. Dave brings practical habits, consciousness principles, and real-life insights that help families shift from performance to presence.

Key Takeaways / Topics Covered

  • Spiritual vs. Animal Self – We all have two modes: survival-driven instincts (fear, jealousy, scarcity) vs. conscious choice anchored in logic and values. Growth is choosing the latter.
  • Competition Should Elevate Everyone – When competition becomes about defeating others, it becomes poison — true winning is improving yourself.
  • Model Courage, Not Control – Kids internalize what they see far more than what they are told. Demonstrate discipline, resilience, and presence. 
  • Treat Kids as Equals – Respect their autonomy; give information and let them choose, even when that means allowing struggle. 
  • Praise Courage Over Achievement – Strength is facing internal resistance — physical or emotional. That’s what creates self-mastery.
  • Avoid Shame as a Motivator – Shame never produces growth. Pausing to reflect before reacting is a spiritual act.
  • Suffering Has a Purpose – Often pain is the catalyst for transformation and discovering one’s true path. raising-men-podcast-recording-w…


Timestamps / Chapter Markers

00:44 (Introducing Dave Rossi, entrepreneur and author)

01:14 The Fixed Pie vs. Variable Pie Mentality

(Competition and abundance)

03:09 The Squirrel Nut Theory

(Hoarding vs. Spiritual Power)

05:31 Redefining Winning

(Improving from the experience vs. prevailing)

06:40 The Paradox of Animal vs. Spirit

(Cognition over instinct)

07:53 Spiritual Self-Mastery

(Mind over body signals)

10:48 The Running Challenge

(Cultivating mental override in a 6-year-old)

12:42 The Spiritual Principle of Equality

(Treating your son like a client/boss)

14:26 Empowerment and the 40% Capacity Rule

(Letting him choose the push)

17:30 The Dangers of Parental Attachment and Shame

(The need for his choice)

19:52 Modeled Behavior as the Most Powerful Influence

20:25 The Reflex to Shame and the Spiritual Act of Withdrawal

23:14 The Two Brains: Conan vs. Sherlock Holmes

24:26 Emotional Biometrics and the Sabre-Toothed Tiger

26:30 Overcoming Programmed Fear

(The bridge jumping example)

28:55 Unconventional Parenting: Letting a Teenager Choose Risk

31:22 Accountability and Acceptance of Consequences

(The ADD example)

33:45 Coping with Extreme Behavior

(Addiction, empathy vs. compassion)

37:04 The Lesson of Suffering

(Letting a child hit rock bottom)

41:19 The New Book on Healthy Masculinity

(Shedding archetypes and masking)

44:11 The Strength of Vulnerability

(The boxer analogy)

47:20 Building Muscle Memory

(Behaving the way you want to be)

48:01 Nietzsche and the Ubermensch

(The tightrope walk to self-mastery)

50:35 Cultivating Courage and Awareness

(Praising courage over achievement)

52:41 One Principle: Treat Your Children Like Equals

54:19 Closing Remarks

Supporting Content

  • Books by Dave Rossi:
  • The Imperative Habit: 7 Non-Spiritual Practices Towards Spiritual Behavior
  • Alphas Die Early (upcoming/new release mentioned in the podcast)
  • Website: DaveRossiGlobal.com
  • Related books mentioned in the episode: 
    • Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
    • Journey of Souls by Michael Newton

Book

Key Ideas from the Book (w/ Sources)

Examples include:

]]> parenting, raising boys, fatherhood No Lessons in Leadership, Tech, and Letting Go with Damian Gomes 11 11 Lessons in Leadership, Tech, and Letting Go with Damian Gomes full 8d0c004f-1111-4a65-b126-5988203dd66a https://share.transistor.fm/s/f993e9f5 In this conversation, Shaun sits down with Damian Gomes — a father, technologist, and long-time Scout leader — to explore what it means to raise two sons who couldn’t be more different. From leading Boy Scouts and teaching leadership through failure to navigating remote schooling during the pandemic, Damian shares the lessons, struggles, and surprising gifts of modern fatherhood. One son thrived in self-paced learning and now builds AI systems with his dad; the other is still discovering his path through art and curiosity. Together, they reflect on letting kids fail safely, adapting parenting styles, and staying conscious and present even when patience runs thin.

Key Takeaways / Topics Covered

  1. Leadership Is Learned Through Chaos: Scouting teaches “storming, norming, performing” — a real-world model for how boys (and adults) learn to lead, adapt, and collaborate through trial and error.
  2. Independence Requires Letting Go: Damian’s older son thrived once school became self-paced. The hardest part was letting him fail, fall behind, and figure it out without rescuing him too early.
  3. Parent Each Child Differently: What worked for one son — freedom and code — failed for the other. Fatherhood isn’t a formula; it’s an evolving experiment in empathy and adaptation.
  4. Redefining Education and Failure: Damian learned that the goal of learning isn’t perfection but persistence. Retaking a failed quiz became a metaphor for life — you haven’t failed until you stop trying.
  5. Conscious Fatherhood Is a Daily Practice: His guiding principle: staying self-aware enough to choose a new reaction rather than repeating old patterns. That pause — between emotion and response — is where growth happens.

Pull Quotes

“You’re not just building automation systems — you’re helping two young men find their own operating systems for life.” — Shaun Dawson


“If you give them the plan, what are they learning? Let them carry on tradition by word of mouth — that’s where the leadership happens.” — Damian Gomes


“I’d rather my sons fail at home, with us around to help them, than discover they don’t have the skills later when it really matters.” — Damian Gomes


00:35 Official Introduction

01:41 Involvement and Value in Boy Scouts

03:51 Cubmaster to Scout Leader: The Transition

05:37 "Storming, Norming, and Performing" in Leadership

09:52 Scouting's Offer to Modern Boys

14:44 Contrived Structure for Organic Skills

16:52 The Value of Inventing the Solution

17:47 Doubling Down on Scouting During Challenges

21:39 The Pandemic's Impact on Family Dynamics

24:33 The Shift to Self-Paced Virtual Learning

27:40 Rethinking Failure and Retaking Tests

30:13 Homeschooling vs. Virtual School Decisions

32:38 The Older Son's Success Story

37:03 The Hardest Part: Allowing for Failure

38:55 The Younger Son's Struggle for Structure

42:26 The Future of Learning

43:08 Hopes for Sons' Memories

45:08 One Principle for Raising Men

47:35 Closing Remarks

Supporting Content

Organizations & Concepts

  • Boy Scouts of America – emphasizing youth leadership and structured independence.
  • YPT (Youth Protection Training) – mandatory training for all Scout leaders.
  • EDGE Method – Explain, Demonstrate, Guide, Enable — a Scouting framework for mentorship and teaching.

Education & Tech

  • Florida Virtual School – one of the first large-scale online K–12 programs mentioned in the episode.
  • Duval Virtual Instruction Academy – Damian’s local district’s virtual learning platform.
  • Automation Watchdog – Damian and his son’s company, building systems that verify automation and AI performance.
  • Mark Rober’s YouTube Channel – inspiration for Damian’s younger son’s curiosity in science and engineering.
  • Open Source Software Movement – central to his son’s learning and development path.

Books & Ideas

  • “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success” by Carol S. Dweck – on learning through growth and persistence.
  • “The Conscious Parent” by Dr. Shefali Tsabary – echoes Damian’s principle of awareness and conscious parenting.
  • “The Scoutmaster’s Other Handbook” by Mark A. Ray – practical modern guide to leadership and youth development through Scouting.
]]> In this conversation, Shaun sits down with Damian Gomes — a father, technologist, and long-time Scout leader — to explore what it means to raise two sons who couldn’t be more different. From leading Boy Scouts and teaching leadership through failure to navigating remote schooling during the pandemic, Damian shares the lessons, struggles, and surprising gifts of modern fatherhood. One son thrived in self-paced learning and now builds AI systems with his dad; the other is still discovering his path through art and curiosity. Together, they reflect on letting kids fail safely, adapting parenting styles, and staying conscious and present even when patience runs thin.

Key Takeaways / Topics Covered

  1. Leadership Is Learned Through Chaos: Scouting teaches “storming, norming, performing” — a real-world model for how boys (and adults) learn to lead, adapt, and collaborate through trial and error.
  2. Independence Requires Letting Go: Damian’s older son thrived once school became self-paced. The hardest part was letting him fail, fall behind, and figure it out without rescuing him too early.
  3. Parent Each Child Differently: What worked for one son — freedom and code — failed for the other. Fatherhood isn’t a formula; it’s an evolving experiment in empathy and adaptation.
  4. Redefining Education and Failure: Damian learned that the goal of learning isn’t perfection but persistence. Retaking a failed quiz became a metaphor for life — you haven’t failed until you stop trying.
  5. Conscious Fatherhood Is a Daily Practice: His guiding principle: staying self-aware enough to choose a new reaction rather than repeating old patterns. That pause — between emotion and response — is where growth happens.

Pull Quotes

“You’re not just building automation systems — you’re helping two young men find their own operating systems for life.” — Shaun Dawson


“If you give them the plan, what are they learning? Let them carry on tradition by word of mouth — that’s where the leadership happens.” — Damian Gomes


“I’d rather my sons fail at home, with us around to help them, than discover they don’t have the skills later when it really matters.” — Damian Gomes


00:35 Official Introduction

01:41 Involvement and Value in Boy Scouts

03:51 Cubmaster to Scout Leader: The Transition

05:37 "Storming, Norming, and Performing" in Leadership

09:52 Scouting's Offer to Modern Boys

14:44 Contrived Structure for Organic Skills

16:52 The Value of Inventing the Solution

17:47 Doubling Down on Scouting During Challenges

21:39 The Pandemic's Impact on Family Dynamics

24:33 The Shift to Self-Paced Virtual Learning

27:40 Rethinking Failure and Retaking Tests

30:13 Homeschooling vs. Virtual School Decisions

32:38 The Older Son's Success Story

37:03 The Hardest Part: Allowing for Failure

38:55 The Younger Son's Struggle for Structure

42:26 The Future of Learning

43:08 Hopes for Sons' Memories

45:08 One Principle for Raising Men

47:35 Closing Remarks

Supporting Content

Organizations & Concepts

  • Boy Scouts of America – emphasizing youth leadership and structured independence.
  • YPT (Youth Protection Training) – mandatory training for all Scout leaders.
  • EDGE Method – Explain, Demonstrate, Guide, Enable — a Scouting framework for mentorship and teaching.

Education & Tech

  • Florida Virtual School – one of the first large-scale online K–12 programs mentioned in the episode.
  • Duval Virtual Instruction Academy – Damian’s local district’s virtual learning platform.
  • Automation Watchdog – Damian and his son’s company, building systems that verify automation and AI performance.
  • Mark Rober’s YouTube Channel – inspiration for Damian’s younger son’s curiosity in science and engineering.
  • Open Source Software Movement – central to his son’s learning and development path.

Books & Ideas

  • “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success” by Carol S. Dweck – on learning through growth and persistence.
  • “The Conscious Parent” by Dr. Shefali Tsabary – echoes Damian’s principle of awareness and conscious parenting.
  • “The Scoutmaster’s Other Handbook” by Mark A. Ray – practical modern guide to leadership and youth development through Scouting.
]]> Wed, 31 Dec 2025 03:00:00 -0800 Shaun Dawson Shaun Dawson 2893 In this conversation, Shaun sits down with Damian Gomes — a father, technologist, and long-time Scout leader — to explore what it means to raise two sons who couldn’t be more different. From leading Boy Scouts and teaching leadership through failure to navigating remote schooling during the pandemic, Damian shares the lessons, struggles, and surprising gifts of modern fatherhood. One son thrived in self-paced learning and now builds AI systems with his dad; the other is still discovering his path through art and curiosity. Together, they reflect on letting kids fail safely, adapting parenting styles, and staying conscious and present even when patience runs thin.

Key Takeaways / Topics Covered

  1. Leadership Is Learned Through Chaos: Scouting teaches “storming, norming, performing” — a real-world model for how boys (and adults) learn to lead, adapt, and collaborate through trial and error.
  2. Independence Requires Letting Go: Damian’s older son thrived once school became self-paced. The hardest part was letting him fail, fall behind, and figure it out without rescuing him too early.
  3. Parent Each Child Differently: What worked for one son — freedom and code — failed for the other. Fatherhood isn’t a formula; it’s an evolving experiment in empathy and adaptation.
  4. Redefining Education and Failure: Damian learned that the goal of learning isn’t perfection but persistence. Retaking a failed quiz became a metaphor for life — you haven’t failed until you stop trying.
  5. Conscious Fatherhood Is a Daily Practice: His guiding principle: staying self-aware enough to choose a new reaction rather than repeating old patterns. That pause — between emotion and response — is where growth happens.

Pull Quotes

“You’re not just building automation systems — you’re helping two young men find their own operating systems for life.” — Shaun Dawson


“If you give them the plan, what are they learning? Let them carry on tradition by word of mouth — that’s where the leadership happens.” — Damian Gomes


“I’d rather my sons fail at home, with us around to help them, than discover they don’t have the skills later when it really matters.” — Damian Gomes


00:35 Official Introduction

01:41 Involvement and Value in Boy Scouts

03:51 Cubmaster to Scout Leader: The Transition

05:37 "Storming, Norming, and Performing" in Leadership

09:52 Scouting's Offer to Modern Boys

14:44 Contrived Structure for Organic Skills

16:52 The Value of Inventing the Solution

17:47 Doubling Down on Scouting During Challenges

21:39 The Pandemic's Impact on Family Dynamics

24:33 The Shift to Self-Paced Virtual Learning

27:40 Rethinking Failure and Retaking Tests

30:13 Homeschooling vs. Virtual School Decisions

32:38 The Older Son's Success Story

37:03 The Hardest Part: Allowing for Failure

38:55 The Younger Son's Struggle for Structure

42:26 The Future of Learning

43:08 Hopes for Sons' Memories

45:08 One Principle for Raising Men

47:35 Closing Remarks

Supporting Content

Organizations & Concepts

  • Boy Scouts of America – emphasizing youth leadership and structured independence.
  • YPT (Youth Protection Training) – mandatory training for all Scout leaders.
  • EDGE Method – Explain, Demonstrate, Guide, Enable — a Scouting framework for mentorship and teaching.

Education & Tech

  • Florida Virtual School – one of the first large-scale online K–12 programs mentioned in the episode.
  • Duval Virtual Instruction Academy – Damian’s local district’s virtual learning platform.
  • Automation Watchdog – Damian and his son’s company, building systems that verify automation and AI performance.
  • Mark Rober’s YouTube Channel – inspiration for Damian’s younger son’s curiosity in science and engineering.
  • Open Source Software Movement – central to his son’s learning and development path.

Books & Ideas

  • “Mindset: The New Psychology of Success” by Carol S. Dweck – on learning through growth and persistence.
  • “The Conscious Parent” by Dr. Shefali Tsabary – echoes Damian’s principle of awareness and conscious parenting.
  • “The Scoutmaster’s Other Handbook” by Mark A. Ray – practical modern guide to leadership and youth development through Scouting.
]]> parenting, raising boys, fatherhood No The Psychology of Raising Emotionally Healthy Boys with Dr. Daniel Singley 10 10 The Psychology of Raising Emotionally Healthy Boys with Dr. Daniel Singley full 82eae62e-c98e-4388-a3f0-a97895fd69a5 https://share.transistor.fm/s/f891594e In this thoughtful and often funny conversation, Dr. Daniel Singley—founder of The Center for Men’s Excellence and creator of MenExcel—joins Shaun to unpack what it really means to raise emotionally healthy boys in a rapidly changing world. Together, they explore how traditional models of masculinity can evolve without abandoning strength, why fatherhood is the “tip of the spear” for redefining what it means to be a man, and how dads can model emotional resilience and connection in everyday life.

Dr. Singley shares evidence-based insights on the transition from “dude to dad,” the power of emotional flexibility, and the importance of community for fathers. This episode is a practical and deeply human look at how we can raise sons—and become men—of both heart and strength.

Key Takeaways / Topics Covered

1. Masculinity isn’t under attack—it’s under construction. Healthy masculinity requires flexibility, not rigidity; the ability to be strong in some contexts and empathetic in others.
2. Fatherhood is the frontline of modern manhood. Early involvement during pregnancy and infancy predicts stronger emotional connection, better outcomes for children, and greater well-being for fathers.
3. Emotional literacy is courage, not weakness. When fathers model emotional awareness—naming their feelings, owning their mistakes—they teach their sons that vulnerability is strength.
4. Community is critical for men’s mental health. Isolation is as damaging as smoking a pack a day; fathers need intentional friendships and spaces to be honest with other dads.
5. Kindness is strength. Dr. Singley’s parting message: “Have the strength to be kind”—because cruelty often stems from fear, and choosing compassion is an act of real courage.

Timestamps / Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction: Cultivating Strength and Sensitivity in Raising Boys

01:18 Dr. Singley's Journey: Why Study the Psychology of Men and Fatherhood?

03:08 The Consequence of Ignoring Cisgender Masculinity in Academia

05:33 The Rising Tide: Empowering Men and Boys Doesn't Harm Other Genders

06:55 Is Masculinity a Problem? Under Attack or Under Construction?

07:54 The Core Issue: Rigidity in Traditional Masculine Roles

09:11 The Benefits of Flexibility: Longevity, Relationships, and Mental Health

10:45 Addressing the Pushback: The "Pussification" of the American Male

13:43 Finding a Balanced Vision: Serving Yourself vs. Holding Yourself Back

16:39 Workplace Benefits of Balanced Masculinity (Strengths with Heart)

18:22 The "Fair Play" Card Exercise and Its Role in Domestic Roles

20:21 Early Fatherhood: Why It's the "Tip of the Spear" for Contemporary Masculinity

23:46 Fatherhood as an Opportunity to Cultivate Caregiving Muscles

25:40 Key Predictors for Father Involvement: Pregnancy and Co-Parent Support

27:48 The Vicious/Virtuous Cycle of Co-Parenting Support

29:04 Shaun's Story: The "No Divorce for a Year" Deal

31:17 Shaun's Story: Catching Inflexibility in Action (Kissing His Son)

32:22 Equating Physicality with Sexuality (and Its Impact on Parenting)

34:10 Parenting with Intention: Be Thoughtful, Not on Autopilot

36:24 Practical Tools: The 10-Year Vision and Modeling Behavior

38:20 The Greatest Gift: Owning Mistakes and Naming Underlying Emotions

41:30 Upgrading Your OS: Why Flexibility is Essential for Modern Men

42:59 Navigating the Extremes: The Paradox of Ideological Purity

47:10 Reflections on Fatherhood: What Dr. Singley Did Right

49:27 The One Step: Overcoming Isolation and Building Community

51:13 The Hidden Danger: Loneliness and the Anxiety of "Bro-Dating"

54:41 Closing Principle: Have the Strength to Be Kind

56:16 Outro and Conclusion

Supporting Content & References

Center for Men’s Excellence – Dr. Singley’s organization focused on men’s mental health and father-inclusive psychology  https://www.menexcel.com
American Psychological Association, Division 51: Society for the Psychological Study of Men and Masculinity https://www.apa.org/about/division/div51
Fair Play by Eve Rodsky – referenced for practical tools in balancing domestic roles https://www.fairplaylife.com
Strengths with Heart by Tom Rath (referenced in discussion on leadership and empathy) https://www.strengthswithheart.com

US Surgeon General’s Report on Loneliness and Social Isolation (2023) – cited in Dr. Singley’s point about community and health  https://www.hhs.gov/surgeongeneral/priorities/loneliness/index.html

]]> In this thoughtful and often funny conversation, Dr. Daniel Singley—founder of The Center for Men’s Excellence and creator of MenExcel—joins Shaun to unpack what it really means to raise emotionally healthy boys in a rapidly changing world. Together, they explore how traditional models of masculinity can evolve without abandoning strength, why fatherhood is the “tip of the spear” for redefining what it means to be a man, and how dads can model emotional resilience and connection in everyday life.

Dr. Singley shares evidence-based insights on the transition from “dude to dad,” the power of emotional flexibility, and the importance of community for fathers. This episode is a practical and deeply human look at how we can raise sons—and become men—of both heart and strength.

Key Takeaways / Topics Covered

1. Masculinity isn’t under attack—it’s under construction. Healthy masculinity requires flexibility, not rigidity; the ability to be strong in some contexts and empathetic in others.
2. Fatherhood is the frontline of modern manhood. Early involvement during pregnancy and infancy predicts stronger emotional connection, better outcomes for children, and greater well-being for fathers.
3. Emotional literacy is courage, not weakness. When fathers model emotional awareness—naming their feelings, owning their mistakes—they teach their sons that vulnerability is strength.
4. Community is critical for men’s mental health. Isolation is as damaging as smoking a pack a day; fathers need intentional friendships and spaces to be honest with other dads.
5. Kindness is strength. Dr. Singley’s parting message: “Have the strength to be kind”—because cruelty often stems from fear, and choosing compassion is an act of real courage.

Timestamps / Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction: Cultivating Strength and Sensitivity in Raising Boys

01:18 Dr. Singley's Journey: Why Study the Psychology of Men and Fatherhood?

03:08 The Consequence of Ignoring Cisgender Masculinity in Academia

05:33 The Rising Tide: Empowering Men and Boys Doesn't Harm Other Genders

06:55 Is Masculinity a Problem? Under Attack or Under Construction?

07:54 The Core Issue: Rigidity in Traditional Masculine Roles

09:11 The Benefits of Flexibility: Longevity, Relationships, and Mental Health

10:45 Addressing the Pushback: The "Pussification" of the American Male

13:43 Finding a Balanced Vision: Serving Yourself vs. Holding Yourself Back

16:39 Workplace Benefits of Balanced Masculinity (Strengths with Heart)

18:22 The "Fair Play" Card Exercise and Its Role in Domestic Roles

20:21 Early Fatherhood: Why It's the "Tip of the Spear" for Contemporary Masculinity

23:46 Fatherhood as an Opportunity to Cultivate Caregiving Muscles

25:40 Key Predictors for Father Involvement: Pregnancy and Co-Parent Support

27:48 The Vicious/Virtuous Cycle of Co-Parenting Support

29:04 Shaun's Story: The "No Divorce for a Year" Deal

31:17 Shaun's Story: Catching Inflexibility in Action (Kissing His Son)

32:22 Equating Physicality with Sexuality (and Its Impact on Parenting)

34:10 Parenting with Intention: Be Thoughtful, Not on Autopilot

36:24 Practical Tools: The 10-Year Vision and Modeling Behavior

38:20 The Greatest Gift: Owning Mistakes and Naming Underlying Emotions

41:30 Upgrading Your OS: Why Flexibility is Essential for Modern Men

42:59 Navigating the Extremes: The Paradox of Ideological Purity

47:10 Reflections on Fatherhood: What Dr. Singley Did Right

49:27 The One Step: Overcoming Isolation and Building Community

51:13 The Hidden Danger: Loneliness and the Anxiety of "Bro-Dating"

54:41 Closing Principle: Have the Strength to Be Kind

56:16 Outro and Conclusion

Supporting Content & References

Center for Men’s Excellence – Dr. Singley’s organization focused on men’s mental health and father-inclusive psychology  https://www.menexcel.com
American Psychological Association, Division 51: Society for the Psychological Study of Men and Masculinity https://www.apa.org/about/division/div51
Fair Play by Eve Rodsky – referenced for practical tools in balancing domestic roles https://www.fairplaylife.com
Strengths with Heart by Tom Rath (referenced in discussion on leadership and empathy) https://www.strengthswithheart.com

US Surgeon General’s Report on Loneliness and Social Isolation (2023) – cited in Dr. Singley’s point about community and health  https://www.hhs.gov/surgeongeneral/priorities/loneliness/index.html

]]> Wed, 24 Dec 2025 03:00:00 -0800 Shaun Dawson Shaun Dawson 3402 In this thoughtful and often funny conversation, Dr. Daniel Singley—founder of The Center for Men’s Excellence and creator of MenExcel—joins Shaun to unpack what it really means to raise emotionally healthy boys in a rapidly changing world. Together, they explore how traditional models of masculinity can evolve without abandoning strength, why fatherhood is the “tip of the spear” for redefining what it means to be a man, and how dads can model emotional resilience and connection in everyday life.

Dr. Singley shares evidence-based insights on the transition from “dude to dad,” the power of emotional flexibility, and the importance of community for fathers. This episode is a practical and deeply human look at how we can raise sons—and become men—of both heart and strength.

Key Takeaways / Topics Covered

1. Masculinity isn’t under attack—it’s under construction. Healthy masculinity requires flexibility, not rigidity; the ability to be strong in some contexts and empathetic in others.
2. Fatherhood is the frontline of modern manhood. Early involvement during pregnancy and infancy predicts stronger emotional connection, better outcomes for children, and greater well-being for fathers.
3. Emotional literacy is courage, not weakness. When fathers model emotional awareness—naming their feelings, owning their mistakes—they teach their sons that vulnerability is strength.
4. Community is critical for men’s mental health. Isolation is as damaging as smoking a pack a day; fathers need intentional friendships and spaces to be honest with other dads.
5. Kindness is strength. Dr. Singley’s parting message: “Have the strength to be kind”—because cruelty often stems from fear, and choosing compassion is an act of real courage.

Timestamps / Chapter Markers

00:00 Introduction: Cultivating Strength and Sensitivity in Raising Boys

01:18 Dr. Singley's Journey: Why Study the Psychology of Men and Fatherhood?

03:08 The Consequence of Ignoring Cisgender Masculinity in Academia

05:33 The Rising Tide: Empowering Men and Boys Doesn't Harm Other Genders

06:55 Is Masculinity a Problem? Under Attack or Under Construction?

07:54 The Core Issue: Rigidity in Traditional Masculine Roles

09:11 The Benefits of Flexibility: Longevity, Relationships, and Mental Health

10:45 Addressing the Pushback: The "Pussification" of the American Male

13:43 Finding a Balanced Vision: Serving Yourself vs. Holding Yourself Back

16:39 Workplace Benefits of Balanced Masculinity (Strengths with Heart)

18:22 The "Fair Play" Card Exercise and Its Role in Domestic Roles

20:21 Early Fatherhood: Why It's the "Tip of the Spear" for Contemporary Masculinity

23:46 Fatherhood as an Opportunity to Cultivate Caregiving Muscles

25:40 Key Predictors for Father Involvement: Pregnancy and Co-Parent Support

27:48 The Vicious/Virtuous Cycle of Co-Parenting Support

29:04 Shaun's Story: The "No Divorce for a Year" Deal

31:17 Shaun's Story: Catching Inflexibility in Action (Kissing His Son)

32:22 Equating Physicality with Sexuality (and Its Impact on Parenting)

34:10 Parenting with Intention: Be Thoughtful, Not on Autopilot

36:24 Practical Tools: The 10-Year Vision and Modeling Behavior

38:20 The Greatest Gift: Owning Mistakes and Naming Underlying Emotions

41:30 Upgrading Your OS: Why Flexibility is Essential for Modern Men

42:59 Navigating the Extremes: The Paradox of Ideological Purity

47:10 Reflections on Fatherhood: What Dr. Singley Did Right

49:27 The One Step: Overcoming Isolation and Building Community

51:13 The Hidden Danger: Loneliness and the Anxiety of "Bro-Dating"

54:41 Closing Principle: Have the Strength to Be Kind

56:16 Outro and Conclusion

Supporting Content & References

Center for Men’s Excellence – Dr. Singley’s organization focused on men’s mental health and father-inclusive psychology  https://www.menexcel.com
American Psychological Association, Division 51: Society for the Psychological Study of Men and Masculinity https://www.apa.org/about/division/div51
Fair Play by Eve Rodsky – referenced for practical tools in balancing domestic roles https://www.fairplaylife.com
Strengths with Heart by Tom Rath (referenced in discussion on leadership and empathy) https://www.strengthswithheart.com

US Surgeon General’s Report on Loneliness and Social Isolation (2023) – cited in Dr. Singley’s point about community and health  https://www.hhs.gov/surgeongeneral/priorities/loneliness/index.html

]]> parenting, raising boys, fatherhood No Real Talk on Fatherhood, Marriage, and Mayhem with Sean Harvey 9 9 Real Talk on Fatherhood, Marriage, and Mayhem with Sean Harvey full db10a35c-8cdc-4042-b65e-fd5fa49b20ef https://share.transistor.fm/s/cbf75583 In Part Two, Sean reflects on losing his stepfather and guiding his sons through grief, legacy, and growth. He shares stories of finding laughter in pain, of writing a eulogy that helped him truly understand the man who raised him, and of passing those lessons forward. Together, Shaun and Sean unpack how fathers can model empathy, resilience, and strength through vulnerability—and why raising sons of character starts with being honest about our own humanity.

Key Takeaways / Topics Covered

  1. Grief is a teacher — How fathers can lead their families through loss with honesty and calm strength.
  2. Model before you teach — Kids copy what they see; your actions are the real lesson.
  3. Empathy is legacy — Raising sons who choose kindness and courage in a noisy world.
  4. Humor heals — Laughter and humility are part of resilience.
  5. Love is conditional in effort, not worth — Sean reminds that love is deep, but accountability still matters.
“You just have to try—that’s fatherhood. Trying, failing, and trying again.” —
Sean Harvey


“Whatever they see you do—that’s who they’ll become.” —
Shaun Dawson


“Life’s too short to ruin someone else’s day. It feels better to make it better.” —
Sean Harvey


“I don’t do unconditional love in behavior. You’ve still got to do right by people.” —
Sean Harvey


Supporting Content

Timestamps / Chapter Markers

00:00 Cultivating Understanding: Communicating Why We Push Our Kids (The Right-Hand Layup)
03:22 The Challenge of Independence: Figuring Out the "Redo" for the Second Child
05:46 The Genetics and The Goals: Tall Parents, Athletic Potential, and Non-Athletic Kids
09:22The Asset vs. Liability: Getting Young Girls into Sports
11:24 The Specialization Trap: Dealing with Pressure from Club Sports
14:34 Courage in Vulnerability: What Motivates Sharing the "Messy Life" of Parenting
17:07 The Identity Shift: From Political Satire/Rapper to Public Fatherhood
21:28 The Strength of Vulnerability: The Castle Metaphor and Letting People In
23:31 The True Measure of Success: How Well Kids Do Once They Leave
24:20 Values to Instill: Hard Work, Compassion, and Conditional Love
26:49 Managing the Tension: Unconditional Love vs. Raising Independent Adults
28:22 The "College Hair" Conversation: Comforting Kids vs. Facing Reality
30:10 Advice for Failing Dads: Keep Trying, Keep Failing (The Road to Excellence)
31:54 The Difficult Talk: Using Chess to Broach Uncomfortable Topics with His Son
34:00 The Most Important Example: Showing Sons How to Love and Respect Their Mother
35:51 Excellence is Failure: Why You Must Embrace Continuous Failure in Fatherhood
37:42 The Core Principle: How to Raise Powerful, Compassionate Men – "Don't Be a Dick"
40:03 The Power of Childhood Humiliation: A Puddle of Pee and the Iconoclastic Path
43:10 The Ripple Effect: Why Good Deeds and Positivity are the True Source of Empowerment
45:20 Breaking the Cycle: Not Raising Kids Who "Were Raised by a Dick"
47:35 The Small Act of Kindness: The Calculus of Holding a Door
49:26 Conclusion: The Value of a Mother's Love and Early Loss

]]> In Part Two, Sean reflects on losing his stepfather and guiding his sons through grief, legacy, and growth. He shares stories of finding laughter in pain, of writing a eulogy that helped him truly understand the man who raised him, and of passing those lessons forward. Together, Shaun and Sean unpack how fathers can model empathy, resilience, and strength through vulnerability—and why raising sons of character starts with being honest about our own humanity.

Key Takeaways / Topics Covered

  1. Grief is a teacher — How fathers can lead their families through loss with honesty and calm strength.
  2. Model before you teach — Kids copy what they see; your actions are the real lesson.
  3. Empathy is legacy — Raising sons who choose kindness and courage in a noisy world.
  4. Humor heals — Laughter and humility are part of resilience.
  5. Love is conditional in effort, not worth — Sean reminds that love is deep, but accountability still matters.
“You just have to try—that’s fatherhood. Trying, failing, and trying again.” —
Sean Harvey


“Whatever they see you do—that’s who they’ll become.” —
Shaun Dawson


“Life’s too short to ruin someone else’s day. It feels better to make it better.” —
Sean Harvey


“I don’t do unconditional love in behavior. You’ve still got to do right by people.” —
Sean Harvey


Supporting Content

Timestamps / Chapter Markers

00:00 Cultivating Understanding: Communicating Why We Push Our Kids (The Right-Hand Layup)
03:22 The Challenge of Independence: Figuring Out the "Redo" for the Second Child
05:46 The Genetics and The Goals: Tall Parents, Athletic Potential, and Non-Athletic Kids
09:22The Asset vs. Liability: Getting Young Girls into Sports
11:24 The Specialization Trap: Dealing with Pressure from Club Sports
14:34 Courage in Vulnerability: What Motivates Sharing the "Messy Life" of Parenting
17:07 The Identity Shift: From Political Satire/Rapper to Public Fatherhood
21:28 The Strength of Vulnerability: The Castle Metaphor and Letting People In
23:31 The True Measure of Success: How Well Kids Do Once They Leave
24:20 Values to Instill: Hard Work, Compassion, and Conditional Love
26:49 Managing the Tension: Unconditional Love vs. Raising Independent Adults
28:22 The "College Hair" Conversation: Comforting Kids vs. Facing Reality
30:10 Advice for Failing Dads: Keep Trying, Keep Failing (The Road to Excellence)
31:54 The Difficult Talk: Using Chess to Broach Uncomfortable Topics with His Son
34:00 The Most Important Example: Showing Sons How to Love and Respect Their Mother
35:51 Excellence is Failure: Why You Must Embrace Continuous Failure in Fatherhood
37:42 The Core Principle: How to Raise Powerful, Compassionate Men – "Don't Be a Dick"
40:03 The Power of Childhood Humiliation: A Puddle of Pee and the Iconoclastic Path
43:10 The Ripple Effect: Why Good Deeds and Positivity are the True Source of Empowerment
45:20 Breaking the Cycle: Not Raising Kids Who "Were Raised by a Dick"
47:35 The Small Act of Kindness: The Calculus of Holding a Door
49:26 Conclusion: The Value of a Mother's Love and Early Loss

]]> Wed, 17 Dec 2025 03:00:00 -0800 Shaun Dawson Shaun Dawson 3197 In Part Two, Sean reflects on losing his stepfather and guiding his sons through grief, legacy, and growth. He shares stories of finding laughter in pain, of writing a eulogy that helped him truly understand the man who raised him, and of passing those lessons forward. Together, Shaun and Sean unpack how fathers can model empathy, resilience, and strength through vulnerability—and why raising sons of character starts with being honest about our own humanity.

Key Takeaways / Topics Covered

  1. Grief is a teacher — How fathers can lead their families through loss with honesty and calm strength.
  2. Model before you teach — Kids copy what they see; your actions are the real lesson.
  3. Empathy is legacy — Raising sons who choose kindness and courage in a noisy world.
  4. Humor heals — Laughter and humility are part of resilience.
  5. Love is conditional in effort, not worth — Sean reminds that love is deep, but accountability still matters.
“You just have to try—that’s fatherhood. Trying, failing, and trying again.” —
Sean Harvey


“Whatever they see you do—that’s who they’ll become.” —
Shaun Dawson


“Life’s too short to ruin someone else’s day. It feels better to make it better.” —
Sean Harvey


“I don’t do unconditional love in behavior. You’ve still got to do right by people.” —
Sean Harvey


Supporting Content

Timestamps / Chapter Markers

00:00 Cultivating Understanding: Communicating Why We Push Our Kids (The Right-Hand Layup)
03:22 The Challenge of Independence: Figuring Out the "Redo" for the Second Child
05:46 The Genetics and The Goals: Tall Parents, Athletic Potential, and Non-Athletic Kids
09:22The Asset vs. Liability: Getting Young Girls into Sports
11:24 The Specialization Trap: Dealing with Pressure from Club Sports
14:34 Courage in Vulnerability: What Motivates Sharing the "Messy Life" of Parenting
17:07 The Identity Shift: From Political Satire/Rapper to Public Fatherhood
21:28 The Strength of Vulnerability: The Castle Metaphor and Letting People In
23:31 The True Measure of Success: How Well Kids Do Once They Leave
24:20 Values to Instill: Hard Work, Compassion, and Conditional Love
26:49 Managing the Tension: Unconditional Love vs. Raising Independent Adults
28:22 The "College Hair" Conversation: Comforting Kids vs. Facing Reality
30:10 Advice for Failing Dads: Keep Trying, Keep Failing (The Road to Excellence)
31:54 The Difficult Talk: Using Chess to Broach Uncomfortable Topics with His Son
34:00 The Most Important Example: Showing Sons How to Love and Respect Their Mother
35:51 Excellence is Failure: Why You Must Embrace Continuous Failure in Fatherhood
37:42 The Core Principle: How to Raise Powerful, Compassionate Men – "Don't Be a Dick"
40:03 The Power of Childhood Humiliation: A Puddle of Pee and the Iconoclastic Path
43:10 The Ripple Effect: Why Good Deeds and Positivity are the True Source of Empowerment
45:20 Breaking the Cycle: Not Raising Kids Who "Were Raised by a Dick"
47:35 The Small Act of Kindness: The Calculus of Holding a Door
49:26 Conclusion: The Value of a Mother's Love and Early Loss

]]> parenting, raising boys, fatherhood No No Perfect Dads Allowed: The Truth About Love and Showing Up with Sean Harvey 8 8 No Perfect Dads Allowed: The Truth About Love and Showing Up with Sean Harvey full e13d20d4-a832-40c0-8e47-bc8ed6ebab36 https://share.transistor.fm/s/9f5f71cd In this first half of our conversation, The Kids Are Sleep co-host Sean Harvey joins Shaun to talk about the messy, meaningful side of marriage and modern fatherhood. From late-night talks with his wife Shannon to the daily rhythm of keeping love alive while raising two boys, Sean opens up about what real connection looks like when life gets chaotic. They explore how humor, honesty, and presence keep a family grounded—and how redefining masculinity starts at home.

Key Takeaways / Topics Covered

  1. Connection is daily work — Sean and Shannon intentionally sit down together every night to talk and decompress.
  2. Presence over perfection — Fatherhood is about showing up, not having it figured out.
  3. Evolving masculinity — Redefining strength through gentleness, humor, and communication.
  4. Raising sons means modeling love — Kids learn how to love and respect by what they witness between their parents.
  5. Balance is the new success — True fatherhood integrates ambition, love, and emotional awareness.
“If you don’t sit down together every day, you risk losing your connection—and that’s when things start to drift.” — Sean Harvey


“You can’t quit being a dad. So if you can’t stop, you just keep trying.” — Shaun Dawson


“Our kids learn how to love by watching how we love their mother.” — Sean Harvey


“Once I realized there weren’t many masculine, public fathers, I knew there was value in showing that side of myself.” — Sean Harvey


Timelines

00:00 Introduction: Sean Harvey and The Kids Are Sleep Podcast

01:02 Inspiration: The Show Was Born from Post-COVID Couple Laughter

02:57 Marriage Dynamics: Having Each Other's Backs vs. Ribbing Each Other

04:22Marriage Seasons: Friendship vs. Transactional Partnership (Especially with Kids)

05:00 Parenting Strategy: Why You Can't Undermine Your Partner

06:08 The Kids are Ingenious: How Children Exploit Cracks in the Routine

07:05 Discussing the Joy and Planning of Children (Gender Preferences)

08:55 The Terror of a Teenage Girl vs. Early Troubles with Boys

10:13 Balancing Kids, Marriage, and Self: The Need for Late-Night Space

12:25 Risking It All: Why Constant Daily Connection is Crucial for Marriage

13:08 The WFH Dynamic: Learning How to Share Space and Not Kill Each Other

14:36 The Beard Principle: Optimizing for What Your Partner Wants

16:23 The Unorthodox Childhood: How a Dream-Chasing Father Shaped Sean

18:56 The Sacrifice of Excellence: Choosing Family Over Journeyman Fame

19:26 Parallel Story: A World-Class Sportscaster Father and the Cost of Excellence

23:04 The Moment of Realization: Seeing His Dad Through New Eyes in Portland

27:14 The Generational Divide: Confronting Fatherhood in the Modern Era

28:42 Finding Balance: The Next Generation of Parenting

29:38 New Threats: Why Fathers Must Be More Present Than Ever

30:51 Tech Gap: Kids' Savvy vs. The "Turn It Off and On Again" Rule

32:00 Dealing with Loss: Announcing a Close Family Death to Children

34:56 The Grieving Process: Observing Kids Looking for Emotional Cues

35:58 Coping with Loss: The Life Lesson of Normalcy After Death

37:42 A Story of Empathy and Normalcy: Going to Work After Losing a Parent

40:00 Coping Mechanisms: The Power of Humor and Levity in Trauma

41:05 The Tension: Joking About Seriousness to Retain Poignancy

42:17 The Final Interaction: A New Coming-of-Age Threshold

44:08 The Pressure Motivator: Writing the Eulogy the Day Before

46:15 Intergenerational Realization: The "Asshole" Dad Who Asked Too Many Questions

47:19 The Final Challenge: How to Cultivate Understanding in Our Kids Now

Supporting Content

]]> In this first half of our conversation, The Kids Are Sleep co-host Sean Harvey joins Shaun to talk about the messy, meaningful side of marriage and modern fatherhood. From late-night talks with his wife Shannon to the daily rhythm of keeping love alive while raising two boys, Sean opens up about what real connection looks like when life gets chaotic. They explore how humor, honesty, and presence keep a family grounded—and how redefining masculinity starts at home.

Key Takeaways / Topics Covered

  1. Connection is daily work — Sean and Shannon intentionally sit down together every night to talk and decompress.
  2. Presence over perfection — Fatherhood is about showing up, not having it figured out.
  3. Evolving masculinity — Redefining strength through gentleness, humor, and communication.
  4. Raising sons means modeling love — Kids learn how to love and respect by what they witness between their parents.
  5. Balance is the new success — True fatherhood integrates ambition, love, and emotional awareness.
“If you don’t sit down together every day, you risk losing your connection—and that’s when things start to drift.” — Sean Harvey


“You can’t quit being a dad. So if you can’t stop, you just keep trying.” — Shaun Dawson


“Our kids learn how to love by watching how we love their mother.” — Sean Harvey


“Once I realized there weren’t many masculine, public fathers, I knew there was value in showing that side of myself.” — Sean Harvey


Timelines

00:00 Introduction: Sean Harvey and The Kids Are Sleep Podcast

01:02 Inspiration: The Show Was Born from Post-COVID Couple Laughter

02:57 Marriage Dynamics: Having Each Other's Backs vs. Ribbing Each Other

04:22Marriage Seasons: Friendship vs. Transactional Partnership (Especially with Kids)

05:00 Parenting Strategy: Why You Can't Undermine Your Partner

06:08 The Kids are Ingenious: How Children Exploit Cracks in the Routine

07:05 Discussing the Joy and Planning of Children (Gender Preferences)

08:55 The Terror of a Teenage Girl vs. Early Troubles with Boys

10:13 Balancing Kids, Marriage, and Self: The Need for Late-Night Space

12:25 Risking It All: Why Constant Daily Connection is Crucial for Marriage

13:08 The WFH Dynamic: Learning How to Share Space and Not Kill Each Other

14:36 The Beard Principle: Optimizing for What Your Partner Wants

16:23 The Unorthodox Childhood: How a Dream-Chasing Father Shaped Sean

18:56 The Sacrifice of Excellence: Choosing Family Over Journeyman Fame

19:26 Parallel Story: A World-Class Sportscaster Father and the Cost of Excellence

23:04 The Moment of Realization: Seeing His Dad Through New Eyes in Portland

27:14 The Generational Divide: Confronting Fatherhood in the Modern Era

28:42 Finding Balance: The Next Generation of Parenting

29:38 New Threats: Why Fathers Must Be More Present Than Ever

30:51 Tech Gap: Kids' Savvy vs. The "Turn It Off and On Again" Rule

32:00 Dealing with Loss: Announcing a Close Family Death to Children

34:56 The Grieving Process: Observing Kids Looking for Emotional Cues

35:58 Coping with Loss: The Life Lesson of Normalcy After Death

37:42 A Story of Empathy and Normalcy: Going to Work After Losing a Parent

40:00 Coping Mechanisms: The Power of Humor and Levity in Trauma

41:05 The Tension: Joking About Seriousness to Retain Poignancy

42:17 The Final Interaction: A New Coming-of-Age Threshold

44:08 The Pressure Motivator: Writing the Eulogy the Day Before

46:15 Intergenerational Realization: The "Asshole" Dad Who Asked Too Many Questions

47:19 The Final Challenge: How to Cultivate Understanding in Our Kids Now

Supporting Content

]]> Wed, 10 Dec 2025 03:00:00 -0800 Shaun Dawson Shaun Dawson 2876 In this first half of our conversation, The Kids Are Sleep co-host Sean Harvey joins Shaun to talk about the messy, meaningful side of marriage and modern fatherhood. From late-night talks with his wife Shannon to the daily rhythm of keeping love alive while raising two boys, Sean opens up about what real connection looks like when life gets chaotic. They explore how humor, honesty, and presence keep a family grounded—and how redefining masculinity starts at home.

Key Takeaways / Topics Covered

  1. Connection is daily work — Sean and Shannon intentionally sit down together every night to talk and decompress.
  2. Presence over perfection — Fatherhood is about showing up, not having it figured out.
  3. Evolving masculinity — Redefining strength through gentleness, humor, and communication.
  4. Raising sons means modeling love — Kids learn how to love and respect by what they witness between their parents.
  5. Balance is the new success — True fatherhood integrates ambition, love, and emotional awareness.
“If you don’t sit down together every day, you risk losing your connection—and that’s when things start to drift.” — Sean Harvey


“You can’t quit being a dad. So if you can’t stop, you just keep trying.” — Shaun Dawson


“Our kids learn how to love by watching how we love their mother.” — Sean Harvey


“Once I realized there weren’t many masculine, public fathers, I knew there was value in showing that side of myself.” — Sean Harvey


Timelines

00:00 Introduction: Sean Harvey and The Kids Are Sleep Podcast

01:02 Inspiration: The Show Was Born from Post-COVID Couple Laughter

02:57 Marriage Dynamics: Having Each Other's Backs vs. Ribbing Each Other

04:22Marriage Seasons: Friendship vs. Transactional Partnership (Especially with Kids)

05:00 Parenting Strategy: Why You Can't Undermine Your Partner

06:08 The Kids are Ingenious: How Children Exploit Cracks in the Routine

07:05 Discussing the Joy and Planning of Children (Gender Preferences)

08:55 The Terror of a Teenage Girl vs. Early Troubles with Boys

10:13 Balancing Kids, Marriage, and Self: The Need for Late-Night Space

12:25 Risking It All: Why Constant Daily Connection is Crucial for Marriage

13:08 The WFH Dynamic: Learning How to Share Space and Not Kill Each Other

14:36 The Beard Principle: Optimizing for What Your Partner Wants

16:23 The Unorthodox Childhood: How a Dream-Chasing Father Shaped Sean

18:56 The Sacrifice of Excellence: Choosing Family Over Journeyman Fame

19:26 Parallel Story: A World-Class Sportscaster Father and the Cost of Excellence

23:04 The Moment of Realization: Seeing His Dad Through New Eyes in Portland

27:14 The Generational Divide: Confronting Fatherhood in the Modern Era

28:42 Finding Balance: The Next Generation of Parenting

29:38 New Threats: Why Fathers Must Be More Present Than Ever

30:51 Tech Gap: Kids' Savvy vs. The "Turn It Off and On Again" Rule

32:00 Dealing with Loss: Announcing a Close Family Death to Children

34:56 The Grieving Process: Observing Kids Looking for Emotional Cues

35:58 Coping with Loss: The Life Lesson of Normalcy After Death

37:42 A Story of Empathy and Normalcy: Going to Work After Losing a Parent

40:00 Coping Mechanisms: The Power of Humor and Levity in Trauma

41:05 The Tension: Joking About Seriousness to Retain Poignancy

42:17 The Final Interaction: A New Coming-of-Age Threshold

44:08 The Pressure Motivator: Writing the Eulogy the Day Before

46:15 Intergenerational Realization: The "Asshole" Dad Who Asked Too Many Questions

47:19 The Final Challenge: How to Cultivate Understanding in Our Kids Now

Supporting Content

]]> parenting, raising boys, fatherhood No From Dudes to Dads: Redefining Modern Fatherhood with Eli Weinstein 7 7 From Dudes to Dads: Redefining Modern Fatherhood with Eli Weinstein full 02f706a7-c85a-446c-9eb1-e074b73b1c76 https://share.transistor.fm/s/0b923dff In this conversation, Eli Weinstein unpacks the emotional journey men go through as they shift from “just a guy” to a present, grounded, emotionally intelligent dad. Drawing from his work as a therapist, author, and host of The Dude Therapist, Eli breaks down the fears, expectations, and heart-level responsibilities that come with modern fatherhood — and how men can rise to them with honesty, humility, and strength. His new book, Dudes to Dads, gives fathers a roadmap to show up with clarity and connection in the moments that matter most.

Topics Covered

  1. The emotional transition from “dude” to fully engaged father — what men often struggle with but rarely say out loud.
  2. Modern masculinity and mental health — unlearning the silence of past generations and building new patterns of emotional strength.
  3. Key insights from Dudes to Dads — identity shifts, communication, and redefining what support looks like.
  4. The role of fathers in raising emotionally grounded sons — modeling vulnerability, presence, and healthy expression.
  5. Practical, everyday habits for better connection — tools men can start using today to strengthen their relationships and parenting.
"Fatherhood isn’t about having the answers — it’s about being willing to show up while you find them.


“We have to stop treating emotions like the enemy. They’re the roadmap to deeper connection.


“Your kids don’t need a perfect dad; they need a present one.”


Timestamps

00:00 - Introduction: Ellie Weinstein & the Book

04:41 - Why the Book Was Written

07:45 - Relationship Strain After Kids

11:41 - Paternal Postpartum Anxiety

13:05 - Male Vulnerability & Societal Pressure

15:01 - Masculinity and True Strength

21:20 - Raising Sons with Emotional Honesty

27:19 - The Import/Export Home Culture Tool

33:52 - The Dude-to-Dad Transition

37:43 - Interdependence vs. Losing Self

41:33 - Sharing Hobbies with Kids

43:47 - How to Connect with Eli

44:54 - One Final Principle

47:10 - Closing Thoughts


Topics, Books & Ideas Linked


Dudes to Dads (Book): https://www.elivation.org/dudes-to-dads
The Dude Therapist Podcast: https://www.elivation.org/the-dude-therapist-podcast
Apple Podcast Link: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-dude-therapist/id1523217780
Spotify Podcast Link: https://open.spotify.com/show/0lQzVztPzPN8ZOcN0X2w1S
ELIvation Website: https://www.elivation.org
Emotional Fitness Concepts (Blog & Resources): https://www.elivation.org/blog
General Resources Page: https://www.elivation.org/resources

]]> In this conversation, Eli Weinstein unpacks the emotional journey men go through as they shift from “just a guy” to a present, grounded, emotionally intelligent dad. Drawing from his work as a therapist, author, and host of The Dude Therapist, Eli breaks down the fears, expectations, and heart-level responsibilities that come with modern fatherhood — and how men can rise to them with honesty, humility, and strength. His new book, Dudes to Dads, gives fathers a roadmap to show up with clarity and connection in the moments that matter most.

Topics Covered

  1. The emotional transition from “dude” to fully engaged father — what men often struggle with but rarely say out loud.
  2. Modern masculinity and mental health — unlearning the silence of past generations and building new patterns of emotional strength.
  3. Key insights from Dudes to Dads — identity shifts, communication, and redefining what support looks like.
  4. The role of fathers in raising emotionally grounded sons — modeling vulnerability, presence, and healthy expression.
  5. Practical, everyday habits for better connection — tools men can start using today to strengthen their relationships and parenting.
"Fatherhood isn’t about having the answers — it’s about being willing to show up while you find them.


“We have to stop treating emotions like the enemy. They’re the roadmap to deeper connection.


“Your kids don’t need a perfect dad; they need a present one.”


Timestamps

00:00 - Introduction: Ellie Weinstein & the Book

04:41 - Why the Book Was Written

07:45 - Relationship Strain After Kids

11:41 - Paternal Postpartum Anxiety

13:05 - Male Vulnerability & Societal Pressure

15:01 - Masculinity and True Strength

21:20 - Raising Sons with Emotional Honesty

27:19 - The Import/Export Home Culture Tool

33:52 - The Dude-to-Dad Transition

37:43 - Interdependence vs. Losing Self

41:33 - Sharing Hobbies with Kids

43:47 - How to Connect with Eli

44:54 - One Final Principle

47:10 - Closing Thoughts


Topics, Books & Ideas Linked


Dudes to Dads (Book): https://www.elivation.org/dudes-to-dads
The Dude Therapist Podcast: https://www.elivation.org/the-dude-therapist-podcast
Apple Podcast Link: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-dude-therapist/id1523217780
Spotify Podcast Link: https://open.spotify.com/show/0lQzVztPzPN8ZOcN0X2w1S
ELIvation Website: https://www.elivation.org
Emotional Fitness Concepts (Blog & Resources): https://www.elivation.org/blog
General Resources Page: https://www.elivation.org/resources

]]> Wed, 03 Dec 2025 03:00:00 -0800 Shaun Dawson Shaun Dawson 2656 In this conversation, Eli Weinstein unpacks the emotional journey men go through as they shift from “just a guy” to a present, grounded, emotionally intelligent dad. Drawing from his work as a therapist, author, and host of The Dude Therapist, Eli breaks down the fears, expectations, and heart-level responsibilities that come with modern fatherhood — and how men can rise to them with honesty, humility, and strength. His new book, Dudes to Dads, gives fathers a roadmap to show up with clarity and connection in the moments that matter most.

Topics Covered

  1. The emotional transition from “dude” to fully engaged father — what men often struggle with but rarely say out loud.
  2. Modern masculinity and mental health — unlearning the silence of past generations and building new patterns of emotional strength.
  3. Key insights from Dudes to Dads — identity shifts, communication, and redefining what support looks like.
  4. The role of fathers in raising emotionally grounded sons — modeling vulnerability, presence, and healthy expression.
  5. Practical, everyday habits for better connection — tools men can start using today to strengthen their relationships and parenting.
"Fatherhood isn’t about having the answers — it’s about being willing to show up while you find them.


“We have to stop treating emotions like the enemy. They’re the roadmap to deeper connection.


“Your kids don’t need a perfect dad; they need a present one.”


Timestamps

00:00 - Introduction: Ellie Weinstein & the Book

04:41 - Why the Book Was Written

07:45 - Relationship Strain After Kids

11:41 - Paternal Postpartum Anxiety

13:05 - Male Vulnerability & Societal Pressure

15:01 - Masculinity and True Strength

21:20 - Raising Sons with Emotional Honesty

27:19 - The Import/Export Home Culture Tool

33:52 - The Dude-to-Dad Transition

37:43 - Interdependence vs. Losing Self

41:33 - Sharing Hobbies with Kids

43:47 - How to Connect with Eli

44:54 - One Final Principle

47:10 - Closing Thoughts


Topics, Books & Ideas Linked


Dudes to Dads (Book): https://www.elivation.org/dudes-to-dads
The Dude Therapist Podcast: https://www.elivation.org/the-dude-therapist-podcast
Apple Podcast Link: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-dude-therapist/id1523217780
Spotify Podcast Link: https://open.spotify.com/show/0lQzVztPzPN8ZOcN0X2w1S
ELIvation Website: https://www.elivation.org
Emotional Fitness Concepts (Blog & Resources): https://www.elivation.org/blog
General Resources Page: https://www.elivation.org/resources

]]> atherhood, relationships, emotional connection, parenting, vulnerability, mental health, men's issues, parenting advice, family dynamics, personal growth No Fathers Who Heal Lead Better: Dr. Michelle Watson on Raising Connected Dads 6 6 Fathers Who Heal Lead Better: Dr. Michelle Watson on Raising Connected Dads full fae5deda-d808-4112-bba4-6e2f4f00dcd4 https://share.transistor.fm/s/fe7380dc In this conversation, Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield shares her insights on the unique dynamics between fathers and daughters, emphasizing the importance of emotional connection and communication. She discusses practical tools for fathers to improve their relationships with their children, particularly daughters, and highlights the significant influence fathers have on their children's emotional health. The conversation also touches on the challenges fathers face in understanding and responding to their children's emotional needs, and the necessity of self-regulation in parenting.

Key Takeaways / Topics Covered

  1. Never underestimate the power of your presence. Every area of a child’s life improves when they feel connected to their father. Presence — not perfection — is what transforms kids.
  2. Connection > Correction. Heart-level connection opens the drawbridge. Correction without connection triggers defensiveness and shutdown. 
  3. Regulate yourself first. If you’re at an 8, 9, or 10 internally, that’s your old story firing — not your child’s fault. Calm your nervous system before responding.
  4. Ask questions that open the heart, not interrogate it. Use “I’m wondering…” + who/what/when/where/how + key/last-word questions to help kids talk and feel understood. 
  5. Drop your anger. Dr. Michelle said dads must “drop anger” — not just control it — because anger closes the drawbridge and disconnects kids.

Principle #1:

“Never underestimate the power of your presence as a father.” Connection is what changes everything — not getting it perfect. 

Principle #2:

“Drop your anger.” Not just manage it — drop it. When anger leads, connection dies.


Practical tips

1. Use bilateral stimulation to calm down. Tap your legs left–right (“going on a bear hunt”) or go for a walk to get out of fight/flight/freeze. 

2. Use “I’m wondering…” to soften tough conversations. Example: “I’m wondering what was going on for you today?” This instantly opens your child's heart rather than triggering defensiveness. 

3. Use who/what/when/where/how (avoid “why”) Pair it with the key word or last word your child said to keep conversations flowing.

4. Write sticky notes or mirror notes. A simple “Have a great day” from dad becomes a lifelong identity seed. Women especially internalize written encouragement. 

5. If estranged: start a dated “time capsule journal”. Write entries to your child so they can one day see you never stopped showing up emotionally. 

6. Expand your “window of tolerance”. Especially for daughters who talk more — slow down, listen more, and tolerate messiness. 


Pull Quotes

1. “Never underestimate the power of your presence as a father.” 


2. “Men would rather do nothing than do it wrong… but doing nothing is doing it wrong.”



Timestamps / Chapter Markers

00:07 Intro & Meeting Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield
01:46 The Unique Dynamic of Dads and Daughters
03:00 Turning the Hearts of Fathers to Their Daughters
05:20 Similarities and Differences in Raising Sons vs. Daughters
06:20 How Daughter Relationships Benefit All Your Relationships
07:49 The Castle Metaphor: Strength vs. Enclosure
09:59 Why Men Freeze: Doing Nothing vs. Doing it Wrong
12:15 Action Figures: The Need for Dads to Take Action
13:00 Understanding the Freeze Response (Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn)
14:38 Calming Techniques: Getting Out of the Activated Nervous System
16:53 Conan the Barbarian Brain vs. Sherlock Holmes Brain
18:54 Identifying Your "Old Stuff" (Triggers)
23:45 Genetics and Gender: Why Daughters Need More Listening
25:36 Venusian Communication: Figuring Things Out by Talking
26:58 Example: Co-Regulating a Child's Meltdown
32:27 The Intentionality Trap: Why We Think Kids are Lying
35:20 Practical Tool: Using Who, What, When, Where, How
40:41 Practical Tool: The Power of "I'm Wondering..."
43:32 Practical Tool: Writing Notes on Mirrors
46:58 The Love Bank: 5 Deposits to 1 Withdrawal
48:42 The Guiding Principle for Fathers
49:20 Never Underestimate the Power of Your Presence
51:47 Don't Respond in Anger: Drop Your Anger
53:38 Closing & Where to Find Dr. Michelle

Supporting Content

  1. Let’s Talk: Conversation Starters for Dads and Daughters https://www.bethanyhouse.com/9780764235689/lets-talk/
  2. Dad, Here’s What I Really Need From You https://drmichellewatson.com/books/
  3. The Dad Whisperer Podcast https://drmichellewatson.com/podcast/
  4. The Abba Project https://drmichellewatson.com/the-abba-project/
  5. Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield – Website https://drmichellewatson.com/
  6. The Female Brain — Louann Brizendine https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/19178/the-female-brain-by-louann-brizendine-md/

Connect with Dr. Michelle Watson-Canfield

  1. Website: drmichellewatson.com
  2. Facebook: facebook.com/drmichellewatson
  3. Instagram: @michellejwatson + @thedadwhispererpodcast
  4. X: @mwatsonphd
  5. LinkedIn: Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield
  6. YouTube: @thedadwhisperer
]]> In this conversation, Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield shares her insights on the unique dynamics between fathers and daughters, emphasizing the importance of emotional connection and communication. She discusses practical tools for fathers to improve their relationships with their children, particularly daughters, and highlights the significant influence fathers have on their children's emotional health. The conversation also touches on the challenges fathers face in understanding and responding to their children's emotional needs, and the necessity of self-regulation in parenting.

Key Takeaways / Topics Covered

  1. Never underestimate the power of your presence. Every area of a child’s life improves when they feel connected to their father. Presence — not perfection — is what transforms kids.
  2. Connection > Correction. Heart-level connection opens the drawbridge. Correction without connection triggers defensiveness and shutdown. 
  3. Regulate yourself first. If you’re at an 8, 9, or 10 internally, that’s your old story firing — not your child’s fault. Calm your nervous system before responding.
  4. Ask questions that open the heart, not interrogate it. Use “I’m wondering…” + who/what/when/where/how + key/last-word questions to help kids talk and feel understood. 
  5. Drop your anger. Dr. Michelle said dads must “drop anger” — not just control it — because anger closes the drawbridge and disconnects kids.

Principle #1:

“Never underestimate the power of your presence as a father.” Connection is what changes everything — not getting it perfect. 

Principle #2:

“Drop your anger.” Not just manage it — drop it. When anger leads, connection dies.


Practical tips

1. Use bilateral stimulation to calm down. Tap your legs left–right (“going on a bear hunt”) or go for a walk to get out of fight/flight/freeze. 

2. Use “I’m wondering…” to soften tough conversations. Example: “I’m wondering what was going on for you today?” This instantly opens your child's heart rather than triggering defensiveness. 

3. Use who/what/when/where/how (avoid “why”) Pair it with the key word or last word your child said to keep conversations flowing.

4. Write sticky notes or mirror notes. A simple “Have a great day” from dad becomes a lifelong identity seed. Women especially internalize written encouragement. 

5. If estranged: start a dated “time capsule journal”. Write entries to your child so they can one day see you never stopped showing up emotionally. 

6. Expand your “window of tolerance”. Especially for daughters who talk more — slow down, listen more, and tolerate messiness. 


Pull Quotes

1. “Never underestimate the power of your presence as a father.” 


2. “Men would rather do nothing than do it wrong… but doing nothing is doing it wrong.”



Timestamps / Chapter Markers

00:07 Intro & Meeting Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield
01:46 The Unique Dynamic of Dads and Daughters
03:00 Turning the Hearts of Fathers to Their Daughters
05:20 Similarities and Differences in Raising Sons vs. Daughters
06:20 How Daughter Relationships Benefit All Your Relationships
07:49 The Castle Metaphor: Strength vs. Enclosure
09:59 Why Men Freeze: Doing Nothing vs. Doing it Wrong
12:15 Action Figures: The Need for Dads to Take Action
13:00 Understanding the Freeze Response (Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn)
14:38 Calming Techniques: Getting Out of the Activated Nervous System
16:53 Conan the Barbarian Brain vs. Sherlock Holmes Brain
18:54 Identifying Your "Old Stuff" (Triggers)
23:45 Genetics and Gender: Why Daughters Need More Listening
25:36 Venusian Communication: Figuring Things Out by Talking
26:58 Example: Co-Regulating a Child's Meltdown
32:27 The Intentionality Trap: Why We Think Kids are Lying
35:20 Practical Tool: Using Who, What, When, Where, How
40:41 Practical Tool: The Power of "I'm Wondering..."
43:32 Practical Tool: Writing Notes on Mirrors
46:58 The Love Bank: 5 Deposits to 1 Withdrawal
48:42 The Guiding Principle for Fathers
49:20 Never Underestimate the Power of Your Presence
51:47 Don't Respond in Anger: Drop Your Anger
53:38 Closing & Where to Find Dr. Michelle

Supporting Content

  1. Let’s Talk: Conversation Starters for Dads and Daughters https://www.bethanyhouse.com/9780764235689/lets-talk/
  2. Dad, Here’s What I Really Need From You https://drmichellewatson.com/books/
  3. The Dad Whisperer Podcast https://drmichellewatson.com/podcast/
  4. The Abba Project https://drmichellewatson.com/the-abba-project/
  5. Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield – Website https://drmichellewatson.com/
  6. The Female Brain — Louann Brizendine https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/19178/the-female-brain-by-louann-brizendine-md/

Connect with Dr. Michelle Watson-Canfield

  1. Website: drmichellewatson.com
  2. Facebook: facebook.com/drmichellewatson
  3. Instagram: @michellejwatson + @thedadwhispererpodcast
  4. X: @mwatsonphd
  5. LinkedIn: Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield
  6. YouTube: @thedadwhisperer
]]> Wed, 26 Nov 2025 03:00:00 -0800 Shaun Dawson Shaun Dawson 3246 In this conversation, Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield shares her insights on the unique dynamics between fathers and daughters, emphasizing the importance of emotional connection and communication. She discusses practical tools for fathers to improve their relationships with their children, particularly daughters, and highlights the significant influence fathers have on their children's emotional health. The conversation also touches on the challenges fathers face in understanding and responding to their children's emotional needs, and the necessity of self-regulation in parenting.

Key Takeaways / Topics Covered

  1. Never underestimate the power of your presence. Every area of a child’s life improves when they feel connected to their father. Presence — not perfection — is what transforms kids.
  2. Connection > Correction. Heart-level connection opens the drawbridge. Correction without connection triggers defensiveness and shutdown. 
  3. Regulate yourself first. If you’re at an 8, 9, or 10 internally, that’s your old story firing — not your child’s fault. Calm your nervous system before responding.
  4. Ask questions that open the heart, not interrogate it. Use “I’m wondering…” + who/what/when/where/how + key/last-word questions to help kids talk and feel understood. 
  5. Drop your anger. Dr. Michelle said dads must “drop anger” — not just control it — because anger closes the drawbridge and disconnects kids.

Principle #1:

“Never underestimate the power of your presence as a father.” Connection is what changes everything — not getting it perfect. 

Principle #2:

“Drop your anger.” Not just manage it — drop it. When anger leads, connection dies.


Practical tips

1. Use bilateral stimulation to calm down. Tap your legs left–right (“going on a bear hunt”) or go for a walk to get out of fight/flight/freeze. 

2. Use “I’m wondering…” to soften tough conversations. Example: “I’m wondering what was going on for you today?” This instantly opens your child's heart rather than triggering defensiveness. 

3. Use who/what/when/where/how (avoid “why”) Pair it with the key word or last word your child said to keep conversations flowing.

4. Write sticky notes or mirror notes. A simple “Have a great day” from dad becomes a lifelong identity seed. Women especially internalize written encouragement. 

5. If estranged: start a dated “time capsule journal”. Write entries to your child so they can one day see you never stopped showing up emotionally. 

6. Expand your “window of tolerance”. Especially for daughters who talk more — slow down, listen more, and tolerate messiness. 


Pull Quotes

1. “Never underestimate the power of your presence as a father.” 


2. “Men would rather do nothing than do it wrong… but doing nothing is doing it wrong.”



Timestamps / Chapter Markers

00:07 Intro & Meeting Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield
01:46 The Unique Dynamic of Dads and Daughters
03:00 Turning the Hearts of Fathers to Their Daughters
05:20 Similarities and Differences in Raising Sons vs. Daughters
06:20 How Daughter Relationships Benefit All Your Relationships
07:49 The Castle Metaphor: Strength vs. Enclosure
09:59 Why Men Freeze: Doing Nothing vs. Doing it Wrong
12:15 Action Figures: The Need for Dads to Take Action
13:00 Understanding the Freeze Response (Fight, Flight, Freeze, Fawn)
14:38 Calming Techniques: Getting Out of the Activated Nervous System
16:53 Conan the Barbarian Brain vs. Sherlock Holmes Brain
18:54 Identifying Your "Old Stuff" (Triggers)
23:45 Genetics and Gender: Why Daughters Need More Listening
25:36 Venusian Communication: Figuring Things Out by Talking
26:58 Example: Co-Regulating a Child's Meltdown
32:27 The Intentionality Trap: Why We Think Kids are Lying
35:20 Practical Tool: Using Who, What, When, Where, How
40:41 Practical Tool: The Power of "I'm Wondering..."
43:32 Practical Tool: Writing Notes on Mirrors
46:58 The Love Bank: 5 Deposits to 1 Withdrawal
48:42 The Guiding Principle for Fathers
49:20 Never Underestimate the Power of Your Presence
51:47 Don't Respond in Anger: Drop Your Anger
53:38 Closing & Where to Find Dr. Michelle

Supporting Content

  1. Let’s Talk: Conversation Starters for Dads and Daughters https://www.bethanyhouse.com/9780764235689/lets-talk/
  2. Dad, Here’s What I Really Need From You https://drmichellewatson.com/books/
  3. The Dad Whisperer Podcast https://drmichellewatson.com/podcast/
  4. The Abba Project https://drmichellewatson.com/the-abba-project/
  5. Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield – Website https://drmichellewatson.com/
  6. The Female Brain — Louann Brizendine https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/19178/the-female-brain-by-louann-brizendine-md/

Connect with Dr. Michelle Watson-Canfield

  1. Website: drmichellewatson.com
  2. Facebook: facebook.com/drmichellewatson
  3. Instagram: @michellejwatson + @thedadwhispererpodcast
  4. X: @mwatsonphd
  5. LinkedIn: Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield
  6. YouTube: @thedadwhisperer
]]> fatherhood, parenting, dads and daughters, emotional connection, communication skills, Dr. Michelle Watson Canfield, parenting tips, emotional intelligence, father-daughter relationship, raising boys and girls No What It Really Means to Be a Whole Man with Christopher Veal 5 5 What It Really Means to Be a Whole Man with Christopher Veal full ccaf8768-c39b-4bae-9165-f64e3ca5e9b5 https://share.transistor.fm/s/55ac63d2 In this episode of Raising Men, host Shaun Dawson sits down with Christopher Veal — author of The Whole Man: Evolving Masculinity, Marine veteran, and host of The Vulnerable Man Podcast — to explore what it really means to be a “whole man.” Together, they unpack the myths of masculine strength, the courage behind vulnerability, and how fathers can model emotional integrity for their kids.


Key Takeaways

  1. True strength isn’t in the walls we build.  Masculinity isn’t about armor or control — it’s about creating space where life and connection can thrive.
  2. Healthy masculinity lives in the ‘both/and.’  Real manhood blends courage and compassion. It’s not dominance or softness — it’s the balance of both.
  3. Vulnerability is leadership.  Showing emotion or admitting mistakes doesn’t weaken fathers — it builds trust and emotional safety for sons.
  4. Fathers shape emotional literacy. Boys learn more from what we model than what we say. Our responses to fear, love, and failure teach manhood.
  5. Legacy is wholeness, not perfection. The “whole man” integrates every side of himself — strong yet open, firm yet kind. That’s what our sons remember.

Pull Quotes

“We’ve built castles so strong no one can break in — but nothing can grow inside either.” — Shaun Dawson


“Vulnerability isn’t weakness. It’s the courage to be seen, especially by the ones who look up to us.” — Christopher Veal


“Our sons don’t need one version of masculinity — they need the full spectrum of what being human looks like.” — Shaun Dawson



Timestamps / Chapter Markers
00:00 – 02:45 – Intro: male vulnerability & authentic friendships
02:45 – 05:30 – Masculinity & societal pressures
05:30 – 08:10 – Vulnerability and strength in high-pressure environments
08:10 – 11:05 – Fatherhood: teaching through action
11:05 – 14:00 – Self-awareness, ego, and confidence vs. arrogance
14:00 – 17:20 – Excellence vs. perfection
17:20 – 20:05 – Learning from failure & embracing mistakes
20:05 – 22:50 – Connecting emotionally with other men
22:50 – 25:00 – Going second: showing openness to build trust
25:01 – 28:15 – Father figures & cross-cultural influences
28:16 – 31:45 – Grace in parenting & male friendships
31:46 – 34:30 – Confronting flaws & modeling honesty
34:31 – 37:50 – Navigating polarized cultural narratives
37:51 – 41:00 – Fostering meaningful male connections
41:01 – 44:15 – Practical advice: self-awareness & intentionality
44:16 – 47:30 – Key takeaways & lessons learned
47:31 – End – Closing remarks & final encouragement


🔗 Supporting Content & Resources

Book: The Whole Man: Evolving Masculinity by Christopher Veal Explores how men can integrate vulnerability and emotional intelligence into leadership and fatherhood.
Podcast: The Vulnerable Man Podcast Christopher’s ongoing conversations with men about courage, leadership, and emotional truth.

Further Reading Mentioned:

  • Daring Greatly by Brené Brown — Understanding vulnerability as the birthplace of courage and connection.
  • The Mask of Masculinity by Lewis Howes — On breaking emotional armor and redefining male strength.
  • The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida — Classic work on balancing masculine energy with openness.

]]> In this episode of Raising Men, host Shaun Dawson sits down with Christopher Veal — author of The Whole Man: Evolving Masculinity, Marine veteran, and host of The Vulnerable Man Podcast — to explore what it really means to be a “whole man.” Together, they unpack the myths of masculine strength, the courage behind vulnerability, and how fathers can model emotional integrity for their kids.


Key Takeaways

  1. True strength isn’t in the walls we build.  Masculinity isn’t about armor or control — it’s about creating space where life and connection can thrive.
  2. Healthy masculinity lives in the ‘both/and.’  Real manhood blends courage and compassion. It’s not dominance or softness — it’s the balance of both.
  3. Vulnerability is leadership.  Showing emotion or admitting mistakes doesn’t weaken fathers — it builds trust and emotional safety for sons.
  4. Fathers shape emotional literacy. Boys learn more from what we model than what we say. Our responses to fear, love, and failure teach manhood.
  5. Legacy is wholeness, not perfection. The “whole man” integrates every side of himself — strong yet open, firm yet kind. That’s what our sons remember.

Pull Quotes

“We’ve built castles so strong no one can break in — but nothing can grow inside either.” — Shaun Dawson


“Vulnerability isn’t weakness. It’s the courage to be seen, especially by the ones who look up to us.” — Christopher Veal


“Our sons don’t need one version of masculinity — they need the full spectrum of what being human looks like.” — Shaun Dawson



Timestamps / Chapter Markers
00:00 – 02:45 – Intro: male vulnerability & authentic friendships
02:45 – 05:30 – Masculinity & societal pressures
05:30 – 08:10 – Vulnerability and strength in high-pressure environments
08:10 – 11:05 – Fatherhood: teaching through action
11:05 – 14:00 – Self-awareness, ego, and confidence vs. arrogance
14:00 – 17:20 – Excellence vs. perfection
17:20 – 20:05 – Learning from failure & embracing mistakes
20:05 – 22:50 – Connecting emotionally with other men
22:50 – 25:00 – Going second: showing openness to build trust
25:01 – 28:15 – Father figures & cross-cultural influences
28:16 – 31:45 – Grace in parenting & male friendships
31:46 – 34:30 – Confronting flaws & modeling honesty
34:31 – 37:50 – Navigating polarized cultural narratives
37:51 – 41:00 – Fostering meaningful male connections
41:01 – 44:15 – Practical advice: self-awareness & intentionality
44:16 – 47:30 – Key takeaways & lessons learned
47:31 – End – Closing remarks & final encouragement


🔗 Supporting Content & Resources

Book: The Whole Man: Evolving Masculinity by Christopher Veal Explores how men can integrate vulnerability and emotional intelligence into leadership and fatherhood.
Podcast: The Vulnerable Man Podcast Christopher’s ongoing conversations with men about courage, leadership, and emotional truth.

Further Reading Mentioned:

  • Daring Greatly by Brené Brown — Understanding vulnerability as the birthplace of courage and connection.
  • The Mask of Masculinity by Lewis Howes — On breaking emotional armor and redefining male strength.
  • The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida — Classic work on balancing masculine energy with openness.

]]> Wed, 12 Nov 2025 07:00:00 -0800 Shaun Dawson Shaun Dawson 3196 In this episode of Raising Men, host Shaun Dawson sits down with Christopher Veal — author of The Whole Man: Evolving Masculinity, Marine veteran, and host of The Vulnerable Man Podcast — to explore what it really means to be a “whole man.” Together, they unpack the myths of masculine strength, the courage behind vulnerability, and how fathers can model emotional integrity for their kids.


Key Takeaways

  1. True strength isn’t in the walls we build.  Masculinity isn’t about armor or control — it’s about creating space where life and connection can thrive.
  2. Healthy masculinity lives in the ‘both/and.’  Real manhood blends courage and compassion. It’s not dominance or softness — it’s the balance of both.
  3. Vulnerability is leadership.  Showing emotion or admitting mistakes doesn’t weaken fathers — it builds trust and emotional safety for sons.
  4. Fathers shape emotional literacy. Boys learn more from what we model than what we say. Our responses to fear, love, and failure teach manhood.
  5. Legacy is wholeness, not perfection. The “whole man” integrates every side of himself — strong yet open, firm yet kind. That’s what our sons remember.

Pull Quotes

“We’ve built castles so strong no one can break in — but nothing can grow inside either.” — Shaun Dawson


“Vulnerability isn’t weakness. It’s the courage to be seen, especially by the ones who look up to us.” — Christopher Veal


“Our sons don’t need one version of masculinity — they need the full spectrum of what being human looks like.” — Shaun Dawson



Timestamps / Chapter Markers
00:00 – 02:45 – Intro: male vulnerability & authentic friendships
02:45 – 05:30 – Masculinity & societal pressures
05:30 – 08:10 – Vulnerability and strength in high-pressure environments
08:10 – 11:05 – Fatherhood: teaching through action
11:05 – 14:00 – Self-awareness, ego, and confidence vs. arrogance
14:00 – 17:20 – Excellence vs. perfection
17:20 – 20:05 – Learning from failure & embracing mistakes
20:05 – 22:50 – Connecting emotionally with other men
22:50 – 25:00 – Going second: showing openness to build trust
25:01 – 28:15 – Father figures & cross-cultural influences
28:16 – 31:45 – Grace in parenting & male friendships
31:46 – 34:30 – Confronting flaws & modeling honesty
34:31 – 37:50 – Navigating polarized cultural narratives
37:51 – 41:00 – Fostering meaningful male connections
41:01 – 44:15 – Practical advice: self-awareness & intentionality
44:16 – 47:30 – Key takeaways & lessons learned
47:31 – End – Closing remarks & final encouragement


🔗 Supporting Content & Resources

Book: The Whole Man: Evolving Masculinity by Christopher Veal Explores how men can integrate vulnerability and emotional intelligence into leadership and fatherhood.
Podcast: The Vulnerable Man Podcast Christopher’s ongoing conversations with men about courage, leadership, and emotional truth.

Further Reading Mentioned:

  • Daring Greatly by Brené Brown — Understanding vulnerability as the birthplace of courage and connection.
  • The Mask of Masculinity by Lewis Howes — On breaking emotional armor and redefining male strength.
  • The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida — Classic work on balancing masculine energy with openness.

]]> vulnerability, fatherhood, parenting boys, raising men, emotional intelligence, men’s mental health, authentic masculinity, personal growth, father-son relationship, emotional expression, conscious parenting, life lessons, self-awareness, mental health advocacy, courage No Healing the Modern Man: Lessons from Mindful Men with Simon Rinne 4 4 Healing the Modern Man: Lessons from Mindful Men with Simon Rinne full 2c96d5fc-b3db-47e2-ae47-dc52b2c7ac7b https://share.transistor.fm/s/16374613 Simon shares how mindfulness transformed his life after years of mental-health struggle and burnout — helping him become a more present father, husband, and therapist. Together, Shaun and Simon explore how mindfulness, emotional awareness, and healthy masculinity shape the next generation of men.

Key Takeaways

  1. Mindfulness begins with awareness. Bringing the subconscious to the conscious allows fathers to be truly present with their children.
  2. Healing starts with connection. Therapy, lived-experience storytelling, and vulnerability create powerful pathways for men to recover and grow.
  3. Redefining masculinity is generational work. By modeling emotional awareness and imperfection, fathers teach sons that strength and softness can coexist.

Pull Quotes 

“Mindfulness means conscious awareness — bringing the subconscious to the conscious and being present.” — Simon Rinn


“To regain control, we often have to let go of control.” — Simon Rinne


“Identify your core values and live by them every day. That’s how we become better fathers and partners.” — Simon Rinne


“Providing money isn’t the only thing you’re supposed to be providing — you’re supposed to provide safety, comfort, and connection.” — Shaun Dawson


"It’s not the same old playbook anymore; our sons will need different skills to thrive in the world they’re growing up in.” — Shaun Dawson


Timestamps / Chapter Markers

  • 00:00 — Welcome back + who is Simon Rinne
  • 00:36 — Mindfulness defined: “conscious awareness” for parents
  • 01:15 — Simon’s backstory: OCD at 8, anxiety, depression
  • 02:21 — Coping with alcohol and delaying help
  • 03:14 — 2020 burnout: work, study, two kids, lockdown
  • 03:43 — Discovering mindfulness and “lived-experience” therapy
  • 04:39 — Feeling seen and heard for the first time
  • 05:12 — Why men delay getting help
  • 06:04 — Growing up in Adelaide; 80s/90s “suck it up” culture
  • 07:26 — Bottling emotions, anger as the only “allowed” feeling
  • 08:26 — Parents split at 13; “man of the house” pressure
  • 09:18 — Alcohol at 15; clinic calls for positive male role models
  • 10:15 — Social constructions of masculinity across eras
  • 11:37 — Reframing masculinity: healthy vs “toxic” labels
  • 12:50 — Past, present, future reflection for dads and sons
  • 14:30 — Biggest misconception: “men can’t seek help”
  • 15:26 — Lived experience builds trust; team problem-solving
  • 16:39 — Finding the right “fit” in therapy, like fitness modalities
  • 17:50 — Beyond therapy: sleep, food, movement, addictions
  • 18:36 — Dopamine loops and sustainable change
  • 19:44 — Mindful parenting: patience, presence, emotions
  • 21:08 — The playbook is changing; imperfect parenting and repair
  • 23:24 — Modeling apologies and rebuilding bridges
  • 24:49 — Negative vs virtuous feedback loops
  • 26:15 — “Always working” anxiety and learning to unplug
  • 27:22 — Provider tension in a 24/7 world
  • 29:00 — Connection is what kids want most
  • 30:23 — Regaining control by letting go of control
  • 31:17 — Live by values; kids learn from what we model
  • 32:50 — Start mindfulness “day one” by modeling, not lectures
  • 34:01 — Nature slows time; fewer screens, more real life
  • 35:23 — Tactical first step: “tune-up” your mind like a car
  • 36:53 — Pitfalls: old pain surfaces; that is part of healing
  • 38:09 — Wabi-sabi: the beauty of imperfection
  • 38:46 — How to engage with Mindful Men: podcast, therapy, group
  • 40:36 — One principle: identify 5–6 core values and live them
  • 41:53 — Close

Supporting Content & Mentions

]]> Simon shares how mindfulness transformed his life after years of mental-health struggle and burnout — helping him become a more present father, husband, and therapist. Together, Shaun and Simon explore how mindfulness, emotional awareness, and healthy masculinity shape the next generation of men.

Key Takeaways

  1. Mindfulness begins with awareness. Bringing the subconscious to the conscious allows fathers to be truly present with their children.
  2. Healing starts with connection. Therapy, lived-experience storytelling, and vulnerability create powerful pathways for men to recover and grow.
  3. Redefining masculinity is generational work. By modeling emotional awareness and imperfection, fathers teach sons that strength and softness can coexist.

Pull Quotes 

“Mindfulness means conscious awareness — bringing the subconscious to the conscious and being present.” — Simon Rinn


“To regain control, we often have to let go of control.” — Simon Rinne


“Identify your core values and live by them every day. That’s how we become better fathers and partners.” — Simon Rinne


“Providing money isn’t the only thing you’re supposed to be providing — you’re supposed to provide safety, comfort, and connection.” — Shaun Dawson


"It’s not the same old playbook anymore; our sons will need different skills to thrive in the world they’re growing up in.” — Shaun Dawson


Timestamps / Chapter Markers

  • 00:00 — Welcome back + who is Simon Rinne
  • 00:36 — Mindfulness defined: “conscious awareness” for parents
  • 01:15 — Simon’s backstory: OCD at 8, anxiety, depression
  • 02:21 — Coping with alcohol and delaying help
  • 03:14 — 2020 burnout: work, study, two kids, lockdown
  • 03:43 — Discovering mindfulness and “lived-experience” therapy
  • 04:39 — Feeling seen and heard for the first time
  • 05:12 — Why men delay getting help
  • 06:04 — Growing up in Adelaide; 80s/90s “suck it up” culture
  • 07:26 — Bottling emotions, anger as the only “allowed” feeling
  • 08:26 — Parents split at 13; “man of the house” pressure
  • 09:18 — Alcohol at 15; clinic calls for positive male role models
  • 10:15 — Social constructions of masculinity across eras
  • 11:37 — Reframing masculinity: healthy vs “toxic” labels
  • 12:50 — Past, present, future reflection for dads and sons
  • 14:30 — Biggest misconception: “men can’t seek help”
  • 15:26 — Lived experience builds trust; team problem-solving
  • 16:39 — Finding the right “fit” in therapy, like fitness modalities
  • 17:50 — Beyond therapy: sleep, food, movement, addictions
  • 18:36 — Dopamine loops and sustainable change
  • 19:44 — Mindful parenting: patience, presence, emotions
  • 21:08 — The playbook is changing; imperfect parenting and repair
  • 23:24 — Modeling apologies and rebuilding bridges
  • 24:49 — Negative vs virtuous feedback loops
  • 26:15 — “Always working” anxiety and learning to unplug
  • 27:22 — Provider tension in a 24/7 world
  • 29:00 — Connection is what kids want most
  • 30:23 — Regaining control by letting go of control
  • 31:17 — Live by values; kids learn from what we model
  • 32:50 — Start mindfulness “day one” by modeling, not lectures
  • 34:01 — Nature slows time; fewer screens, more real life
  • 35:23 — Tactical first step: “tune-up” your mind like a car
  • 36:53 — Pitfalls: old pain surfaces; that is part of healing
  • 38:09 — Wabi-sabi: the beauty of imperfection
  • 38:46 — How to engage with Mindful Men: podcast, therapy, group
  • 40:36 — One principle: identify 5–6 core values and live them
  • 41:53 — Close

Supporting Content & Mentions

]]> Wed, 12 Nov 2025 06:00:00 -0800 Shaun Dawson Shaun Dawson 2475 Simon shares how mindfulness transformed his life after years of mental-health struggle and burnout — helping him become a more present father, husband, and therapist. Together, Shaun and Simon explore how mindfulness, emotional awareness, and healthy masculinity shape the next generation of men.

Key Takeaways

  1. Mindfulness begins with awareness. Bringing the subconscious to the conscious allows fathers to be truly present with their children.
  2. Healing starts with connection. Therapy, lived-experience storytelling, and vulnerability create powerful pathways for men to recover and grow.
  3. Redefining masculinity is generational work. By modeling emotional awareness and imperfection, fathers teach sons that strength and softness can coexist.

Pull Quotes 

“Mindfulness means conscious awareness — bringing the subconscious to the conscious and being present.” — Simon Rinn


“To regain control, we often have to let go of control.” — Simon Rinne


“Identify your core values and live by them every day. That’s how we become better fathers and partners.” — Simon Rinne


“Providing money isn’t the only thing you’re supposed to be providing — you’re supposed to provide safety, comfort, and connection.” — Shaun Dawson


"It’s not the same old playbook anymore; our sons will need different skills to thrive in the world they’re growing up in.” — Shaun Dawson


Timestamps / Chapter Markers

  • 00:00 — Welcome back + who is Simon Rinne
  • 00:36 — Mindfulness defined: “conscious awareness” for parents
  • 01:15 — Simon’s backstory: OCD at 8, anxiety, depression
  • 02:21 — Coping with alcohol and delaying help
  • 03:14 — 2020 burnout: work, study, two kids, lockdown
  • 03:43 — Discovering mindfulness and “lived-experience” therapy
  • 04:39 — Feeling seen and heard for the first time
  • 05:12 — Why men delay getting help
  • 06:04 — Growing up in Adelaide; 80s/90s “suck it up” culture
  • 07:26 — Bottling emotions, anger as the only “allowed” feeling
  • 08:26 — Parents split at 13; “man of the house” pressure
  • 09:18 — Alcohol at 15; clinic calls for positive male role models
  • 10:15 — Social constructions of masculinity across eras
  • 11:37 — Reframing masculinity: healthy vs “toxic” labels
  • 12:50 — Past, present, future reflection for dads and sons
  • 14:30 — Biggest misconception: “men can’t seek help”
  • 15:26 — Lived experience builds trust; team problem-solving
  • 16:39 — Finding the right “fit” in therapy, like fitness modalities
  • 17:50 — Beyond therapy: sleep, food, movement, addictions
  • 18:36 — Dopamine loops and sustainable change
  • 19:44 — Mindful parenting: patience, presence, emotions
  • 21:08 — The playbook is changing; imperfect parenting and repair
  • 23:24 — Modeling apologies and rebuilding bridges
  • 24:49 — Negative vs virtuous feedback loops
  • 26:15 — “Always working” anxiety and learning to unplug
  • 27:22 — Provider tension in a 24/7 world
  • 29:00 — Connection is what kids want most
  • 30:23 — Regaining control by letting go of control
  • 31:17 — Live by values; kids learn from what we model
  • 32:50 — Start mindfulness “day one” by modeling, not lectures
  • 34:01 — Nature slows time; fewer screens, more real life
  • 35:23 — Tactical first step: “tune-up” your mind like a car
  • 36:53 — Pitfalls: old pain surfaces; that is part of healing
  • 38:09 — Wabi-sabi: the beauty of imperfection
  • 38:46 — How to engage with Mindful Men: podcast, therapy, group
  • 40:36 — One principle: identify 5–6 core values and live them
  • 41:53 — Close

Supporting Content & Mentions

]]> mindfulness, therapy, healthy masculinity, burnout recovery, lived-experience therapy, mindfulness, fatherhood, parenting boys, raising men, emotional intelligence, self-awareness, men’s mental health, personal growth, mindfulness practice, conscious parenting, father-son bond, stress management, life balance, meditation for men, intentional living No Crossing the Threshold: Rites of Passage and Raising Good Men with Luke Entrup 3 3 Crossing the Threshold: Rites of Passage and Raising Good Men with Luke Entrup full 8fcd5979-8db6-4844-bbce-0cb86f95c947 https://share.transistor.fm/s/0d2f259c In this conversation, Shaun Dawson and Luke Entrup explore what it really means to guide boys into manhood in a culture that has lost its rites of passage. Luke shares how fathers can reclaim the ancient practice of initiation to raise sons of character, courage, and conviction. Together, they discuss how emotional intelligence, mentorship, and time in nature can help boys develop “heart-connected power” — strength balanced with compassion.

Key Takeaways

  1. Rites of passage matter. When boys lack meaningful thresholds into adulthood, they seek belonging in unhealthy or toxic ways.
  2. Healthy masculinity is heart-connected power. Strength and sensitivity can coexist; empowerment means “power with,” not “power over.”
  3. Mentorship is missing. Fathers and communities must step up to guide boys intentionally into manhood.
  4. Growth requires discomfort. Modern initiations should challenge boys safely but meaningfully.
  5. Connection before correction. Daily “special time” strengthens the bond that supports discipline and trust.
  6. Digital disconnection. Real growth happens offline — in nature, in silence, and through shared experiences.


“If we don’t provide a healthy framework for initiation, a toxic one will take its place.” - Luke Entrup


“Power over is an expression of weakness; empowerment is an expression of strength.” - Luke Entrup


“Silence is noble — it helps me listen better, parent better, and see more clearly what needs to happen next.” - Luke Entrup


“Recognizing where we’ve fallen short as fathers isn’t failure — it’s the only way we grow.” - Shaun Dawson


Timestamps / Chapter Markers

  • 00:00 — Welcome + who is Luke Entrup
  • 02:14 — What a rite of passage actually is
  • 03:48 — Why thresholds matter (and what we lost)
  • 05:41 — Two key transitions: childhood→adolescence, adolescence→manhood
  • 08:56 — Belonging first, then independence
  • 10:59 — Emotional intelligence as real power
  • 13:56 — Adapting ancient rites for modern life
  • 15:29 — Discomfort over danger: designing challenge well
  • 16:29 — When boys miss initiation (mentorship gap)
  • 18:39 — Screens hijack belonging
  • 20:22 — Two ails: phone culture + loss of free-range mobility
  • 22:02 — What healthy masculinity looks like
  • 25:52 — Reframing “toxic” vs healthy masculinity
  • 27:01 — How to build thresholds at home
  • 27:43 — Father-Son Connection Experience (Luke’s program)
  • 28:59 — Annual “hard thing together” in nature
  • 31:17 — Daily “special time” (15-minute ritual)
  • 32:43 — Closing the gap between the parent you are and hoped to be
  • 34:50 — The power of repair: “I’m sorry”
  • 37:13 — What Luke thinks he’s done well (awe + the natural world)
  • 39:15 — What he’d change (rigidity → flexibility)
  • 41:07 — Anti-fragility over brittleness
  • 42:08 — One principle: “Silence is noble”
  • 45:58 — The 3-step challenge for parents
  • 47:20 — The 4th step: “What do you need from me this year?”
  • 49:38 — Closing + credits

Supporting Content

  • The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt – on technology’s impact on youth.
  • Bill Plotkin – Nature and the Human Soul – developmental stages and human initiation.
  • Father–Son Connection Experience – Luke Entrup’s program for fathers and sons.
  • Hand in Hand Parenting – source of the “special time” practice.
  • Buddhist concept: “One eye in, one eye out” — awareness of both inner and outer landscapes.

The Father’s Challenge by Luke Entrup

Simple but powerful four-step challenge for fathers:

  1. Daily Special Time – 15 minutes of uninterrupted, child-led play.
  2. Join a Community – find or create a group of fathers committed to rites of passage.
  3. An Annual Adventure – one outdoor challenge shared with your son each year.
  4. Ask the Question – “What’s one thing you need from me this year to feel connected to me?”
]]> In this conversation, Shaun Dawson and Luke Entrup explore what it really means to guide boys into manhood in a culture that has lost its rites of passage. Luke shares how fathers can reclaim the ancient practice of initiation to raise sons of character, courage, and conviction. Together, they discuss how emotional intelligence, mentorship, and time in nature can help boys develop “heart-connected power” — strength balanced with compassion.

Key Takeaways

  1. Rites of passage matter. When boys lack meaningful thresholds into adulthood, they seek belonging in unhealthy or toxic ways.
  2. Healthy masculinity is heart-connected power. Strength and sensitivity can coexist; empowerment means “power with,” not “power over.”
  3. Mentorship is missing. Fathers and communities must step up to guide boys intentionally into manhood.
  4. Growth requires discomfort. Modern initiations should challenge boys safely but meaningfully.
  5. Connection before correction. Daily “special time” strengthens the bond that supports discipline and trust.
  6. Digital disconnection. Real growth happens offline — in nature, in silence, and through shared experiences.


“If we don’t provide a healthy framework for initiation, a toxic one will take its place.” - Luke Entrup


“Power over is an expression of weakness; empowerment is an expression of strength.” - Luke Entrup


“Silence is noble — it helps me listen better, parent better, and see more clearly what needs to happen next.” - Luke Entrup


“Recognizing where we’ve fallen short as fathers isn’t failure — it’s the only way we grow.” - Shaun Dawson


Timestamps / Chapter Markers

  • 00:00 — Welcome + who is Luke Entrup
  • 02:14 — What a rite of passage actually is
  • 03:48 — Why thresholds matter (and what we lost)
  • 05:41 — Two key transitions: childhood→adolescence, adolescence→manhood
  • 08:56 — Belonging first, then independence
  • 10:59 — Emotional intelligence as real power
  • 13:56 — Adapting ancient rites for modern life
  • 15:29 — Discomfort over danger: designing challenge well
  • 16:29 — When boys miss initiation (mentorship gap)
  • 18:39 — Screens hijack belonging
  • 20:22 — Two ails: phone culture + loss of free-range mobility
  • 22:02 — What healthy masculinity looks like
  • 25:52 — Reframing “toxic” vs healthy masculinity
  • 27:01 — How to build thresholds at home
  • 27:43 — Father-Son Connection Experience (Luke’s program)
  • 28:59 — Annual “hard thing together” in nature
  • 31:17 — Daily “special time” (15-minute ritual)
  • 32:43 — Closing the gap between the parent you are and hoped to be
  • 34:50 — The power of repair: “I’m sorry”
  • 37:13 — What Luke thinks he’s done well (awe + the natural world)
  • 39:15 — What he’d change (rigidity → flexibility)
  • 41:07 — Anti-fragility over brittleness
  • 42:08 — One principle: “Silence is noble”
  • 45:58 — The 3-step challenge for parents
  • 47:20 — The 4th step: “What do you need from me this year?”
  • 49:38 — Closing + credits

Supporting Content

  • The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt – on technology’s impact on youth.
  • Bill Plotkin – Nature and the Human Soul – developmental stages and human initiation.
  • Father–Son Connection Experience – Luke Entrup’s program for fathers and sons.
  • Hand in Hand Parenting – source of the “special time” practice.
  • Buddhist concept: “One eye in, one eye out” — awareness of both inner and outer landscapes.

The Father’s Challenge by Luke Entrup

Simple but powerful four-step challenge for fathers:

  1. Daily Special Time – 15 minutes of uninterrupted, child-led play.
  2. Join a Community – find or create a group of fathers committed to rites of passage.
  3. An Annual Adventure – one outdoor challenge shared with your son each year.
  4. Ask the Question – “What’s one thing you need from me this year to feel connected to me?”
]]> Wed, 12 Nov 2025 05:00:00 -0800 Shaun Dawson Shaun Dawson 2959 In this conversation, Shaun Dawson and Luke Entrup explore what it really means to guide boys into manhood in a culture that has lost its rites of passage. Luke shares how fathers can reclaim the ancient practice of initiation to raise sons of character, courage, and conviction. Together, they discuss how emotional intelligence, mentorship, and time in nature can help boys develop “heart-connected power” — strength balanced with compassion.

Key Takeaways

  1. Rites of passage matter. When boys lack meaningful thresholds into adulthood, they seek belonging in unhealthy or toxic ways.
  2. Healthy masculinity is heart-connected power. Strength and sensitivity can coexist; empowerment means “power with,” not “power over.”
  3. Mentorship is missing. Fathers and communities must step up to guide boys intentionally into manhood.
  4. Growth requires discomfort. Modern initiations should challenge boys safely but meaningfully.
  5. Connection before correction. Daily “special time” strengthens the bond that supports discipline and trust.
  6. Digital disconnection. Real growth happens offline — in nature, in silence, and through shared experiences.


“If we don’t provide a healthy framework for initiation, a toxic one will take its place.” - Luke Entrup


“Power over is an expression of weakness; empowerment is an expression of strength.” - Luke Entrup


“Silence is noble — it helps me listen better, parent better, and see more clearly what needs to happen next.” - Luke Entrup


“Recognizing where we’ve fallen short as fathers isn’t failure — it’s the only way we grow.” - Shaun Dawson


Timestamps / Chapter Markers

  • 00:00 — Welcome + who is Luke Entrup
  • 02:14 — What a rite of passage actually is
  • 03:48 — Why thresholds matter (and what we lost)
  • 05:41 — Two key transitions: childhood→adolescence, adolescence→manhood
  • 08:56 — Belonging first, then independence
  • 10:59 — Emotional intelligence as real power
  • 13:56 — Adapting ancient rites for modern life
  • 15:29 — Discomfort over danger: designing challenge well
  • 16:29 — When boys miss initiation (mentorship gap)
  • 18:39 — Screens hijack belonging
  • 20:22 — Two ails: phone culture + loss of free-range mobility
  • 22:02 — What healthy masculinity looks like
  • 25:52 — Reframing “toxic” vs healthy masculinity
  • 27:01 — How to build thresholds at home
  • 27:43 — Father-Son Connection Experience (Luke’s program)
  • 28:59 — Annual “hard thing together” in nature
  • 31:17 — Daily “special time” (15-minute ritual)
  • 32:43 — Closing the gap between the parent you are and hoped to be
  • 34:50 — The power of repair: “I’m sorry”
  • 37:13 — What Luke thinks he’s done well (awe + the natural world)
  • 39:15 — What he’d change (rigidity → flexibility)
  • 41:07 — Anti-fragility over brittleness
  • 42:08 — One principle: “Silence is noble”
  • 45:58 — The 3-step challenge for parents
  • 47:20 — The 4th step: “What do you need from me this year?”
  • 49:38 — Closing + credits

Supporting Content

  • The Anxious Generation by Jonathan Haidt – on technology’s impact on youth.
  • Bill Plotkin – Nature and the Human Soul – developmental stages and human initiation.
  • Father–Son Connection Experience – Luke Entrup’s program for fathers and sons.
  • Hand in Hand Parenting – source of the “special time” practice.
  • Buddhist concept: “One eye in, one eye out” — awareness of both inner and outer landscapes.

The Father’s Challenge by Luke Entrup

Simple but powerful four-step challenge for fathers:

  1. Daily Special Time – 15 minutes of uninterrupted, child-led play.
  2. Join a Community – find or create a group of fathers committed to rites of passage.
  3. An Annual Adventure – one outdoor challenge shared with your son each year.
  4. Ask the Question – “What’s one thing you need from me this year to feel connected to me?”
]]> parenting, raising boys, rites of passage, fatherhood, parenting boys, raising men, masculinity, emotional intelligence, father-son relationship, personal growth, men’s mental health, family dynamics, leadership, life lessons, parenting advice, communication skills, mentorship, confidence building No The End of the Lone Cowboy: Redefining Strength for the Next Generation with Ken Mossman 2 2 The End of the Lone Cowboy: Redefining Strength for the Next Generation with Ken Mossman full 6baf5cec-96e6-4d1a-b05b-a435e3bdf354 https://share.transistor.fm/s/c846a8b5 In this conversation, Shaun sits down with Ken Mossman, leadership coach and host of Mojo for the Modern Man, to dismantle one of the most enduring myths in manhood — the “lone wolf” and “self-made man.” Together, they explore what it truly means for men to live with courage, connection, and curiosity in an age of isolation.


Key Takeaways / Topics Covered

  1. The Lone Wolf is a Lie - Both Ken and Shaun dismantle the myth of the “self-made man” and the “lone cowboy.”
  2. Connection Requires Courage - Men often equate vulnerability with weakness, but the real courage is in showing the cards.
  3. Modeling Connection for Sons - Fathers teach by example. When they hide struggle, children inherit shame and perfectionism. When they model honesty, curiosity, and openness, they teach resilience and belonging.
  4. Loneliness vs. Junk Connection - Social media feels like community but isn’t. Shaun calls it “junk connection — like potato chips: fine in small doses, but if that’s all you eat, you starve.” Real nourishment comes from face-to-face relationships and shared vulnerability.
  5. Practical Starting Points
    1. Reach out to a friend you haven’t talked to in a while.
    2. Ask (and answer) “How are you really?”
    3. Join or start a men’s group — church-based, local, or Mankind Project-style.
    4. Give and receive help with grace; both are acts of generosity.
 “Have the discipline to move through the world with wild curiosity.” - Ken Mossman


“Social media isn’t connection. It’s junk connection — and if that’s your only source of nourishment, you’re starving.” - Ken Mossman


“We’ve been told that strength means doing it all alone — but real strength looks more like being part of a pack, not pretending to be a lone wolf.” - Shaun Dawson


Timestamps / Chapter Markers

  • 00:02 – Welcome and guest intro
  • 00:40 – Where Ken is joining from
  • 00:51 – The “lone wolf” myth
  • 01:12 – Why fierce independence persists
  • 02:37 – The not-so “self-made” man
  • 03:56 – We stand on shoulders of giants
  • 04:29 – Dreams still need a team
  • 04:45 – Humility and asking for help
  • 05:14 – Burnout from doing everything
  • 05:24 – Shaun’s early fatherhood disconnect
  • 07:41 – Naming shame without drowning in it
  • 08:09 – What made Shaun open up
  • 08:19 – A friend’s hidden decade of struggle
  • 10:39 – Authority vs curiosity in men
  • 12:12 – Why men avoid “I don’t know”
  • 14:08 – Loneliness stats and concern
  • 14:30 – Few close friends for many men
  • 16:08 – Let others help you
  • 17:08 – The give and receive “math”
  • 18:12 – Generosity in receiving well
  • 19:46 – Candle and campfire metaphor
  • 20:23 – Info overload vs isolation
  • 21:03 – Social media is not connection
  • 21:53 – Performative feeds and algorithms
  • 24:58 – Admitting “I am lonely”
  • 25:42 – Belonging in echo chambers
  • 26:10 – Modeling for our kids
  • 27:26 – What example are we setting
  • 29:48 – “You’re acting like a four-year-old”
  • 31:00 – Meeting kids at their level
  • 32:27 – Catching your own anger spiral
  • 35:02 – Perfectionism shows up early
  • 37:02 – Checklists beat memory
  • 39:29 – Schooling, grades, and identity
  • 41:30 – Authority with fallibility
  • 43:02 – Permission to fail with grace
  • 45:02 – When kids do not mirror you
  • 46:33 – Tactical steps to reconnect
  • 47:15 – Reach out first
  • 48:20 – “How are you” vs “How are you really”
  • 51:35 – Do the handshake then go deep
  • 53:31 – Find a men’s group
  • 55:29 – Rebuilding lost institutions
  • 55:57 – Online groups need curation
  • 56:24 – Nothing beats face to face
  • 57:44 – One principle request
  • 58:32 – “Wild curiosity” as a discipline
  • 58:41 – Thanks and wrap-up
  • 59:05 – Off-mic close

Supporting Content

]]> In this conversation, Shaun sits down with Ken Mossman, leadership coach and host of Mojo for the Modern Man, to dismantle one of the most enduring myths in manhood — the “lone wolf” and “self-made man.” Together, they explore what it truly means for men to live with courage, connection, and curiosity in an age of isolation.


Key Takeaways / Topics Covered

  1. The Lone Wolf is a Lie - Both Ken and Shaun dismantle the myth of the “self-made man” and the “lone cowboy.”
  2. Connection Requires Courage - Men often equate vulnerability with weakness, but the real courage is in showing the cards.
  3. Modeling Connection for Sons - Fathers teach by example. When they hide struggle, children inherit shame and perfectionism. When they model honesty, curiosity, and openness, they teach resilience and belonging.
  4. Loneliness vs. Junk Connection - Social media feels like community but isn’t. Shaun calls it “junk connection — like potato chips: fine in small doses, but if that’s all you eat, you starve.” Real nourishment comes from face-to-face relationships and shared vulnerability.
  5. Practical Starting Points
    1. Reach out to a friend you haven’t talked to in a while.
    2. Ask (and answer) “How are you really?”
    3. Join or start a men’s group — church-based, local, or Mankind Project-style.
    4. Give and receive help with grace; both are acts of generosity.
 “Have the discipline to move through the world with wild curiosity.” - Ken Mossman


“Social media isn’t connection. It’s junk connection — and if that’s your only source of nourishment, you’re starving.” - Ken Mossman


“We’ve been told that strength means doing it all alone — but real strength looks more like being part of a pack, not pretending to be a lone wolf.” - Shaun Dawson


Timestamps / Chapter Markers

  • 00:02 – Welcome and guest intro
  • 00:40 – Where Ken is joining from
  • 00:51 – The “lone wolf” myth
  • 01:12 – Why fierce independence persists
  • 02:37 – The not-so “self-made” man
  • 03:56 – We stand on shoulders of giants
  • 04:29 – Dreams still need a team
  • 04:45 – Humility and asking for help
  • 05:14 – Burnout from doing everything
  • 05:24 – Shaun’s early fatherhood disconnect
  • 07:41 – Naming shame without drowning in it
  • 08:09 – What made Shaun open up
  • 08:19 – A friend’s hidden decade of struggle
  • 10:39 – Authority vs curiosity in men
  • 12:12 – Why men avoid “I don’t know”
  • 14:08 – Loneliness stats and concern
  • 14:30 – Few close friends for many men
  • 16:08 – Let others help you
  • 17:08 – The give and receive “math”
  • 18:12 – Generosity in receiving well
  • 19:46 – Candle and campfire metaphor
  • 20:23 – Info overload vs isolation
  • 21:03 – Social media is not connection
  • 21:53 – Performative feeds and algorithms
  • 24:58 – Admitting “I am lonely”
  • 25:42 – Belonging in echo chambers
  • 26:10 – Modeling for our kids
  • 27:26 – What example are we setting
  • 29:48 – “You’re acting like a four-year-old”
  • 31:00 – Meeting kids at their level
  • 32:27 – Catching your own anger spiral
  • 35:02 – Perfectionism shows up early
  • 37:02 – Checklists beat memory
  • 39:29 – Schooling, grades, and identity
  • 41:30 – Authority with fallibility
  • 43:02 – Permission to fail with grace
  • 45:02 – When kids do not mirror you
  • 46:33 – Tactical steps to reconnect
  • 47:15 – Reach out first
  • 48:20 – “How are you” vs “How are you really”
  • 51:35 – Do the handshake then go deep
  • 53:31 – Find a men’s group
  • 55:29 – Rebuilding lost institutions
  • 55:57 – Online groups need curation
  • 56:24 – Nothing beats face to face
  • 57:44 – One principle request
  • 58:32 – “Wild curiosity” as a discipline
  • 58:41 – Thanks and wrap-up
  • 59:05 – Off-mic close

Supporting Content

]]> Wed, 12 Nov 2025 04:00:00 -0800 Shaun Dawson Shaun Dawson 3445 In this conversation, Shaun sits down with Ken Mossman, leadership coach and host of Mojo for the Modern Man, to dismantle one of the most enduring myths in manhood — the “lone wolf” and “self-made man.” Together, they explore what it truly means for men to live with courage, connection, and curiosity in an age of isolation.


Key Takeaways / Topics Covered

  1. The Lone Wolf is a Lie - Both Ken and Shaun dismantle the myth of the “self-made man” and the “lone cowboy.”
  2. Connection Requires Courage - Men often equate vulnerability with weakness, but the real courage is in showing the cards.
  3. Modeling Connection for Sons - Fathers teach by example. When they hide struggle, children inherit shame and perfectionism. When they model honesty, curiosity, and openness, they teach resilience and belonging.
  4. Loneliness vs. Junk Connection - Social media feels like community but isn’t. Shaun calls it “junk connection — like potato chips: fine in small doses, but if that’s all you eat, you starve.” Real nourishment comes from face-to-face relationships and shared vulnerability.
  5. Practical Starting Points
    1. Reach out to a friend you haven’t talked to in a while.
    2. Ask (and answer) “How are you really?”
    3. Join or start a men’s group — church-based, local, or Mankind Project-style.
    4. Give and receive help with grace; both are acts of generosity.
 “Have the discipline to move through the world with wild curiosity.” - Ken Mossman


“Social media isn’t connection. It’s junk connection — and if that’s your only source of nourishment, you’re starving.” - Ken Mossman


“We’ve been told that strength means doing it all alone — but real strength looks more like being part of a pack, not pretending to be a lone wolf.” - Shaun Dawson


Timestamps / Chapter Markers

  • 00:02 – Welcome and guest intro
  • 00:40 – Where Ken is joining from
  • 00:51 – The “lone wolf” myth
  • 01:12 – Why fierce independence persists
  • 02:37 – The not-so “self-made” man
  • 03:56 – We stand on shoulders of giants
  • 04:29 – Dreams still need a team
  • 04:45 – Humility and asking for help
  • 05:14 – Burnout from doing everything
  • 05:24 – Shaun’s early fatherhood disconnect
  • 07:41 – Naming shame without drowning in it
  • 08:09 – What made Shaun open up
  • 08:19 – A friend’s hidden decade of struggle
  • 10:39 – Authority vs curiosity in men
  • 12:12 – Why men avoid “I don’t know”
  • 14:08 – Loneliness stats and concern
  • 14:30 – Few close friends for many men
  • 16:08 – Let others help you
  • 17:08 – The give and receive “math”
  • 18:12 – Generosity in receiving well
  • 19:46 – Candle and campfire metaphor
  • 20:23 – Info overload vs isolation
  • 21:03 – Social media is not connection
  • 21:53 – Performative feeds and algorithms
  • 24:58 – Admitting “I am lonely”
  • 25:42 – Belonging in echo chambers
  • 26:10 – Modeling for our kids
  • 27:26 – What example are we setting
  • 29:48 – “You’re acting like a four-year-old”
  • 31:00 – Meeting kids at their level
  • 32:27 – Catching your own anger spiral
  • 35:02 – Perfectionism shows up early
  • 37:02 – Checklists beat memory
  • 39:29 – Schooling, grades, and identity
  • 41:30 – Authority with fallibility
  • 43:02 – Permission to fail with grace
  • 45:02 – When kids do not mirror you
  • 46:33 – Tactical steps to reconnect
  • 47:15 – Reach out first
  • 48:20 – “How are you” vs “How are you really”
  • 51:35 – Do the handshake then go deep
  • 53:31 – Find a men’s group
  • 55:29 – Rebuilding lost institutions
  • 55:57 – Online groups need curation
  • 56:24 – Nothing beats face to face
  • 57:44 – One principle request
  • 58:32 – “Wild curiosity” as a discipline
  • 58:41 – Thanks and wrap-up
  • 59:05 – Off-mic close

Supporting Content

]]> fatherhood, parenting boys, men’s mental health, emotional intelligence, raising men, masculinity, leadership, personal growth, family relationships, father-son bond, mentorship, life lessons, communication skills, parenting advice, self-development No Raising Men Starts with Raising Ourselves with Caleb Scott 1 1 Raising Men Starts with Raising Ourselves with Caleb Scott full cdc7edfd-cf51-416c-b65d-213079aa2907 https://share.transistor.fm/s/127f3f15 In this conversation, Caleb Scott shares his journey into fatherhood, discussing the unexpected challenges and emotional experiences that come with becoming a dad. He emphasizes the importance of community support, grace, and accountability in parenting. The discussion also touches on conflict management, resilience in children, and the significance of being present in their lives. Caleb reflects on the balance needed in parenting, learning from mistakes, and the invaluable gift of time spent with children. Ultimately, the conversation highlights the complexities of fatherhood and the growth that comes from navigating its challenges together.

Key Takeaways / Topics Covered

  1. Navigating challenges in parenting requires support and community.
  2. Grace is essential for parents and children alike.
  3. Conflict management is crucial for emotional intelligence in parenting.
  4. Accountability is a form of love in relationships.
  5. Children learn resilience through their parents' actions.
  6. Presence and attention are vital in a child's development.
  7. Finding balance in parenting is key to success.
  8. Mistakes in parenting can lead to growth and learning.
  9. Time spent with children is the greatest gift a parent can give.

Pull Quotes

“You are not built for fatherhood, but you are refined through it.”“It takes a village — not to raise your child, but to support you while you do it.”


Timestamps / Chapter Markers

  • 00:00 – Introduction
  • 02:05 – Navigating Parenthood During a Pandemic
  • 04:27 – Overcoming Overwhelm and Embracing Change
  • 07:26 – The Importance of Community and Support
  • 09:37 – Grace: A Key to Successful Parenting
  • 12:38 – Understanding Emotions and Reactions
  • 15:22 – The Role of Preparation in Fatherhood
  • 17:49 – Conflict Management and Accountability in Parenting
  • 29:40 – Navigating Parental Tensions
  • 35:06 – The Balance of Accountability and Love
  • 43:26 – Vulnerability vs. Resilience in Parenting
  • 49:01 – The Resilience of Children and Parental Responsibility
  • 50:28 – Learning from Mistakes: The Power of Apology
  • 53:41 – Navigating Co-Parenting and Identity as a Father
  • 55:58 – The Importance of Presence in Parenting
  • 58:27 – Building Community Among Fathers
  • 01:00:44 – The Journey of Fatherhood: Connection and Growth
  • 01:02:55 – Normalizing the Struggles of Fatherhood
  • 01:04:11 – Principles of Influence: Leading by Example

Supporting Content:

  1. Two-Brain Theory (Conan the Barbarian vs. Sherlock Holmes Brain) — a metaphor discussed by Shaun for emotional regulation, based on neuroscience concepts around the amygdala and prefrontal cortex.
    • Daniel Kahneman – “Thinking, Fast and Slow” (System 1 and System 2 parallels)
    • Daniel Goleman – “Emotional Intelligence”
    • Robert Sapolsky – “Behave”

2. Parenting & Emotional Regulation: Discussion around emotional control and grace aligns with research in developmental psychology. 

  • John Gottman – “Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child
  • Harvard Center on the Developing Child – Studies on father involvement

3. The Better Dad Podcast
4. Caleb Scott on Linkedin
5. Caleb Scott on Facebook
6. Soapbox Studios

]]> In this conversation, Caleb Scott shares his journey into fatherhood, discussing the unexpected challenges and emotional experiences that come with becoming a dad. He emphasizes the importance of community support, grace, and accountability in parenting. The discussion also touches on conflict management, resilience in children, and the significance of being present in their lives. Caleb reflects on the balance needed in parenting, learning from mistakes, and the invaluable gift of time spent with children. Ultimately, the conversation highlights the complexities of fatherhood and the growth that comes from navigating its challenges together.

Key Takeaways / Topics Covered

  1. Navigating challenges in parenting requires support and community.
  2. Grace is essential for parents and children alike.
  3. Conflict management is crucial for emotional intelligence in parenting.
  4. Accountability is a form of love in relationships.
  5. Children learn resilience through their parents' actions.
  6. Presence and attention are vital in a child's development.
  7. Finding balance in parenting is key to success.
  8. Mistakes in parenting can lead to growth and learning.
  9. Time spent with children is the greatest gift a parent can give.

Pull Quotes

“You are not built for fatherhood, but you are refined through it.”“It takes a village — not to raise your child, but to support you while you do it.”


Timestamps / Chapter Markers

  • 00:00 – Introduction
  • 02:05 – Navigating Parenthood During a Pandemic
  • 04:27 – Overcoming Overwhelm and Embracing Change
  • 07:26 – The Importance of Community and Support
  • 09:37 – Grace: A Key to Successful Parenting
  • 12:38 – Understanding Emotions and Reactions
  • 15:22 – The Role of Preparation in Fatherhood
  • 17:49 – Conflict Management and Accountability in Parenting
  • 29:40 – Navigating Parental Tensions
  • 35:06 – The Balance of Accountability and Love
  • 43:26 – Vulnerability vs. Resilience in Parenting
  • 49:01 – The Resilience of Children and Parental Responsibility
  • 50:28 – Learning from Mistakes: The Power of Apology
  • 53:41 – Navigating Co-Parenting and Identity as a Father
  • 55:58 – The Importance of Presence in Parenting
  • 58:27 – Building Community Among Fathers
  • 01:00:44 – The Journey of Fatherhood: Connection and Growth
  • 01:02:55 – Normalizing the Struggles of Fatherhood
  • 01:04:11 – Principles of Influence: Leading by Example

Supporting Content:

  1. Two-Brain Theory (Conan the Barbarian vs. Sherlock Holmes Brain) — a metaphor discussed by Shaun for emotional regulation, based on neuroscience concepts around the amygdala and prefrontal cortex.
    • Daniel Kahneman – “Thinking, Fast and Slow” (System 1 and System 2 parallels)
    • Daniel Goleman – “Emotional Intelligence”
    • Robert Sapolsky – “Behave”

2. Parenting & Emotional Regulation: Discussion around emotional control and grace aligns with research in developmental psychology. 

  • John Gottman – “Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child
  • Harvard Center on the Developing Child – Studies on father involvement

3. The Better Dad Podcast
4. Caleb Scott on Linkedin
5. Caleb Scott on Facebook
6. Soapbox Studios

]]> Wed, 12 Nov 2025 03:00:00 -0800 Shaun Dawson Shaun Dawson 4139 In this conversation, Caleb Scott shares his journey into fatherhood, discussing the unexpected challenges and emotional experiences that come with becoming a dad. He emphasizes the importance of community support, grace, and accountability in parenting. The discussion also touches on conflict management, resilience in children, and the significance of being present in their lives. Caleb reflects on the balance needed in parenting, learning from mistakes, and the invaluable gift of time spent with children. Ultimately, the conversation highlights the complexities of fatherhood and the growth that comes from navigating its challenges together.

Key Takeaways / Topics Covered

  1. Navigating challenges in parenting requires support and community.
  2. Grace is essential for parents and children alike.
  3. Conflict management is crucial for emotional intelligence in parenting.
  4. Accountability is a form of love in relationships.
  5. Children learn resilience through their parents' actions.
  6. Presence and attention are vital in a child's development.
  7. Finding balance in parenting is key to success.
  8. Mistakes in parenting can lead to growth and learning.
  9. Time spent with children is the greatest gift a parent can give.

Pull Quotes

“You are not built for fatherhood, but you are refined through it.”“It takes a village — not to raise your child, but to support you while you do it.”


Timestamps / Chapter Markers

  • 00:00 – Introduction
  • 02:05 – Navigating Parenthood During a Pandemic
  • 04:27 – Overcoming Overwhelm and Embracing Change
  • 07:26 – The Importance of Community and Support
  • 09:37 – Grace: A Key to Successful Parenting
  • 12:38 – Understanding Emotions and Reactions
  • 15:22 – The Role of Preparation in Fatherhood
  • 17:49 – Conflict Management and Accountability in Parenting
  • 29:40 – Navigating Parental Tensions
  • 35:06 – The Balance of Accountability and Love
  • 43:26 – Vulnerability vs. Resilience in Parenting
  • 49:01 – The Resilience of Children and Parental Responsibility
  • 50:28 – Learning from Mistakes: The Power of Apology
  • 53:41 – Navigating Co-Parenting and Identity as a Father
  • 55:58 – The Importance of Presence in Parenting
  • 58:27 – Building Community Among Fathers
  • 01:00:44 – The Journey of Fatherhood: Connection and Growth
  • 01:02:55 – Normalizing the Struggles of Fatherhood
  • 01:04:11 – Principles of Influence: Leading by Example

Supporting Content:

  1. Two-Brain Theory (Conan the Barbarian vs. Sherlock Holmes Brain) — a metaphor discussed by Shaun for emotional regulation, based on neuroscience concepts around the amygdala and prefrontal cortex.
    • Daniel Kahneman – “Thinking, Fast and Slow” (System 1 and System 2 parallels)
    • Daniel Goleman – “Emotional Intelligence”
    • Robert Sapolsky – “Behave”

2. Parenting & Emotional Regulation: Discussion around emotional control and grace aligns with research in developmental psychology. 

  • John Gottman – “Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child
  • Harvard Center on the Developing Child – Studies on father involvement

3. The Better Dad Podcast
4. Caleb Scott on Linkedin
5. Caleb Scott on Facebook
6. Soapbox Studios

]]> fatherhood, parenting, community, support, grace, conflict management, accountability, resilience, presence, balance, growth, time, Better Dad Co, Raising Men podcast, Caleb Scott interview, Fatherhood journey, How to be a better dad, Modern masculinity, Raising boys into men, Intentional fatherhood, Strong fathers movement, Parenting advice for dads No Episode 0: Why Raising Men Matters Episode 0: Why Raising Men Matters bonus f8e2363a-7ce3-4286-a95c-a48c566205cf https://share.transistor.fm/s/7fa32a74 Shaun Dawson opens Raising Men with a simple truth: our sons aren’t just watching us—they’re becoming us. This is where the journey begins to raise men of purpose, strength, and heart.

Follow the Raising Men Podcast
Youtube https://www.youtube.com/@RaisingMen_Podcast
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/raisingmen_podcast/
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/raisingmen/
Linkedin https://www.linkedin.com/company/raising-men/
Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@raisingmenpodcast
X https://x.com/raisingmen_pod
Bluesky https://bsky.app/profile/raisingmenpodcast.bsky.social

]]> Shaun Dawson opens Raising Men with a simple truth: our sons aren’t just watching us—they’re becoming us. This is where the journey begins to raise men of purpose, strength, and heart.

Follow the Raising Men Podcast
Youtube https://www.youtube.com/@RaisingMen_Podcast
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/raisingmen_podcast/
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/raisingmen/
Linkedin https://www.linkedin.com/company/raising-men/
Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@raisingmenpodcast
X https://x.com/raisingmen_pod
Bluesky https://bsky.app/profile/raisingmenpodcast.bsky.social

]]> Wed, 05 Nov 2025 06:00:00 -0800 Shaun Dawson Shaun Dawson 826 Shaun Dawson opens Raising Men with a simple truth: our sons aren’t just watching us—they’re becoming us. This is where the journey begins to raise men of purpose, strength, and heart.

Follow the Raising Men Podcast
Youtube https://www.youtube.com/@RaisingMen_Podcast
Instagram https://www.instagram.com/raisingmen_podcast/
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/raisingmen/
Linkedin https://www.linkedin.com/company/raising-men/
Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@raisingmenpodcast
X https://x.com/raisingmen_pod
Bluesky https://bsky.app/profile/raisingmenpodcast.bsky.social

]]> parenting, raising boys, fatherhood No Trailer Trailer trailer 8a912f88-69f7-4056-8b3b-10b877ff161b https://share.transistor.fm/s/8cfc2688 Join Shaun Dawson in the important conversations shaping the next generation of men. Raising Men is a space for parents, mentors, and leaders committed to building character, courage, and conviction in today’s boys. Each episode dives deep into real stories and practical wisdom from thinkers, leaders, and fellow parents — all sharing tools for becoming more intentional guides in a world that often confuses masculinity with noise. Because raising men isn’t just about them — it’s about who we’re becoming, too.

🎧 Subscribe and follow the Raising Men Podcast and join the community of intentional parents and mentors.

]]> Join Shaun Dawson in the important conversations shaping the next generation of men. Raising Men is a space for parents, mentors, and leaders committed to building character, courage, and conviction in today’s boys. Each episode dives deep into real stories and practical wisdom from thinkers, leaders, and fellow parents — all sharing tools for becoming more intentional guides in a world that often confuses masculinity with noise. Because raising men isn’t just about them — it’s about who we’re becoming, too.

🎧 Subscribe and follow the Raising Men Podcast and join the community of intentional parents and mentors.

]]> Fri, 17 Oct 2025 05:35:30 -0700 Shaun Dawson Shaun Dawson 50 Join Shaun Dawson in the important conversations shaping the next generation of men. Raising Men is a space for parents, mentors, and leaders committed to building character, courage, and conviction in today’s boys. Each episode dives deep into real stories and practical wisdom from thinkers, leaders, and fellow parents — all sharing tools for becoming more intentional guides in a world that often confuses masculinity with noise. Because raising men isn’t just about them — it’s about who we’re becoming, too.

🎧 Subscribe and follow the Raising Men Podcast and join the community of intentional parents and mentors.

]]> parenting, raising boys, fatherhood No