Shelly knew trouble was brewing. Her dad was a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde alcoholic, and on this day he was preparing dinner and drinking Manhattans in his robe when he should have been getting ready for work. She ran interference when her mom came home from work earlier than expected, but that wasn't enough to save her life.

Shelly's dad was a lot of things. He was smart, successful, and charismatic, and she remembers times when he was a fun and loving dad. He was also an alcoholic, an abuser, and after this night, a murderer. He'd been threatening to kill the family and burn the house down since she was at least 6 years old, so when her neighbor picked her and her sister up from basketball practice and told them there'd been a fire, they both knew. 

Shelly spent the next two-and-a-half years living with a murderer. The initial autopsy said that her mother died of natural causes, but he was eventually arrested and she had to testify against him at trial. It was not ideal. After years of healing aided by therapy and her faith, Shelly wrote her memoir, Beautiful Ashes . 

More From Shelly

• Read Shelly's blog
• Follow on Facebook
• Listen to her other interviews

Mentioned in This Episode

• Popeyes spicy chicken sandwich
• Wendy's biscuits and gravy

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Creators & Guests

• Shelly Edwards Jorgensen - Guest

Michelle is a smart woman. That will become clear as you listen to the episode, but I need to say it because people with learning disabilities don't always get the benefit of the doubt. There were times when Michelle was told that she had a limited ceiling because she had dyscalculia, but all of those people were eventually proved wrong. Those people are what we sometimes call haters, and Michelle had no time for them.

Michelle's life wasn't always easy, but I don't think that's what this episode is about. She was a misfit who was bullied, she struggled at school, and she had the haters I mentioned earlier, but she also had adults who did the right things for her. She was able to get assessed for a learning disability early, and her parents who did everything they could to support her.   

More From Michelle

• Read Michelle's blog
• Follow Michelle on Facebook
• Check out the other Podcast appearances

Mentioned in This Episode

• The Taxpayers
• Scott's Dog Bologna
• Mortified podcast

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Creators & Guests

• Michelle Steiner - Guest

Paula's mother tried to kill her. She was only 3 months old the first time it happened, and five months old the second. It's taken her a lifetime to piece together and process what happened, and there are still friends, family, and acquaintances who don't believe her story.

It's not surprising that people don't want to believe her. Mothers hold a special place in society, and many want to believe that even the most flawed ones are well-intentioned. They're often given the benefit of the doubt, and abuse is overlooked until either charges are filed or the funeral is scheduled.

What makes Paula's story more complicated is that the only proof she has is her memory. It's hard to believe that anyone can remember anything from such a young age, but there is growing evidence that infants can remember traumatic events. Even if you're skeptical, I'd encourage you to reserve judgment and have a listen. There's still a story here about a woman who was raised by a toxic mother and has done a whole lot of work to heal. 

More From Paula

• Soft Skill Strategy Courses: softskillstrategycourses.com
• More on DISC and behavioral styles: smilessparksuccess.com
• Soft Skills Facebook group

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Creators & Guests

• Terrible Scott - Host
• Producer Dan - Host
• Paula Kramer - Guest

Dan and I first became acquainted with Amy in August 2023 when we interviewed her for our 17th episode, I Laid in Bed 23 Hours a Day for a Year. The episode was about the catastrophic injuries she experienced when she fell at home. Amy didn’t know it at the time, but she’d later learn she sheared her brainstem, and she lives with a broken neck to this day. 

Amy’s episode was one of the first that made me think Positively Terrible could be something special. She was a great guest with a powerful story, and I had no idea why she trusted us enough to share with us idiots.  She was one of the first guests we booked who wasn’t a friend, family, or a friend of a friend. I immediately knew she was a great guest, but I didn’t realize Amy would become a special friend of the Podcast. We’ve followed Amy as she's continued her journey, and we never go too long without hearing from her. 

Considering how much we appreciate Amy, we quickly agreed when she approached us to record an update. This one is a little lighter on the trauma aspect, though she does tell us about the fancy new plate in her neck. This one is more about a life achievement she wanted to share – she published a book! It's called Finding My Hero Within: A Journey from Incapacitation to Empowerment, and it's being released for the 10th anniversary of her accident.  

Creators & Guests

• Amy Thurman - Guest

Simon suffered from undiagnosed obsessive-compulsive disorder for 20 years before he learned what it was or that he had it. It started when he was eight and a schoolmate told him that he'd lose his voice forever if he went more than a minute without using it. It would have been a harmless 8-year-old kind of prank for most of us, but for Simon it triggered his first obsession and compulsion cycle. He started humming constantly to make sure he didn't lose his voice.

Simon was raised the way a lot of boys were in the 80s and 90s. He watched WCW (that's wrassling for those of you who don't know), was expected to be tough and strong, and knew it was an insult to be told he did something like a girl. He wasn't encouraged to discuss or seek help for his mental health, so he just sucked it up and did what men do - he suppressed his feelings with alcohol.

The OCD Simon has is the clinical sort. It's the type that is disruptive, if not disabling. The people who say they're OCD because they check the locks an extra time before going to bed are not OCD - they're just using lazy language. Simon's compulsions made his life more difficult and were something that required treatment. He got that treatment and is now using his experiences to help others. I've got so much more to say about this interview, but just play the damn episode. Simon tells the story so much better than I do...

More From Simon

• Get in touch with Simon
• Join the Mindful Men Facebook Community
• Follow on TikTok
• Listen to his podcast wherever you get podcasts (Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Youtube)

Mentioned in This Episode

• Free online ordination with Universal Life Church
• Fix a leaky P-trap
• Scott's dog Bologna
• World Championship Wrestling (WCW)

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Creators & Guests

• Terrible Scott - Host
• Producer Dan - Host
• Simon Rinne - Guest

Kelli’s childhood was filled with what she described as quiet trauma. She wasn’t abused, nor did she find herself on death’s door at any point, but her upbringing was less than ideal. When she was three her little brother was born with a chronic illness that he was not expected to survive. The good news is he’s in his 40s and has grown up to be a proper smart-ass, but the bad news is that her family’s priorities shifted with his arrival. They had to for his sake, but it was at the expense of her childhood. 

I hope this doesn’t read as if Kelli came on to tell a sob story filled with resentment. She didn’t. The story she told was that of parents who were thrown a curveball, and they adjusted the best they could. 

The most impressive part of Kelli’s story is how much effort she has put into making her life what she wants it to be. She’s looked everywhere to fit in and find acceptance, and when one thing didn’t work, she moved on to the next until she found the right path. 

More From Kelli

• Schedule a call with the Secular Shepherdess
• Read her blog Notes Along the Way 

Mentioned in This Episode

• Chewy Grain Free Chicken Jerky for dogs (no they didn't pay us for this, but we'd be happy to take their money) 

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Wanna Tell a fucked up story or be the first to get a Decent Fucking Human Tattoo? Send us an email at podcast@positivelyterrible.com

Creators & Guests

• Kelli Murbach - Guest
• Terrible Scott - Host
• Producer Dan - Host

Katrina was a good girl as a teenager. She grew up in an alcoholic home and was forced to be the adult in the house after her father walked out on the family on the day after Christmas when she was a young teen. That might be when taking care of others became part of her identity. She managed to mostly stay out of trouble as a teen, but when she turned 21 and could legally consume alcohol, things changed. Her drinking became a problem, and she eventually had to confront the idea that she was an alcoholic. 

She first realized her drinking was a problem when she was 22. That’s when she had an accident while camping that resulted in a catastrophic injury for an acquaintance and a short-lived sobriety for her. Maybe sobriety is too strong a word - it was more like a hiatus of several months until she felt like she'd learned her lesson and could drink more responsibly. 

Spoiler alert - she couldn’t. She continued to abuse alcohol and showed a lot of the classic signs of alcoholism. There were times when she put people she cared about in dangerous situations. There were times when it caused problems in her relationships. There were times she would try to hide it. It was clear she had a problem, but she didn't take action until her Mother-in-Law insisted on taking her out for the best burger she never had. 

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More From Katrina

• Get a free guided meditation with Katrina
• Buy Katrina's book You Are the Magic
• Listen to the Just as We Are Podcast

Mentioned in this Episode

• When I Said Nobody Would Know, That Meant I Was Nobody
• Trash/mindless/fun/comfort TV
  • Supernatural
  • Jersey Shore
  • Big Bang Theory
  • Rock of Love
  • Love After Lockup - Dan's pick
  • Flavor of Love - Scott's pick
• Best gas station pizza: Casey's pizza

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Wanna Tell a fucked up story or be the first to get a Decent Fucking Human Tattoo? Send us an email at podcast@positivelyterrible.com

In 2022, Bill was diagnosed with throat cancer. He was a healthy, 70-something-year-old man who up until that point wouldn't even take an aspirin for a headache. He'd prioritized alternative medicine for over 40 years, so the diagnosis created tougher questions for him than it would for many. He wasn't the type to just say "Hey doc, what's the plan?" so he consulted with both his naturopath and physician before deciding what to do next. He opted to hit it hard and fast with chemo and radiation.   

It's hard to summarize what Bill's story is about - it's not the intense fuck cancer story you hear so often (although let me just say it - fuck cancer). It's not about a prolonged illness that almost beat him. Bill's battle was relatively short. He was in touch with his body, recognized a problem, sought treatment, and beat it. All of those are things we love to celebrate here, but I think this story is about Bill being humble enough to do what needed to be done, even going to the dark side of modern medicine, to save his own life.

What I love about this story - aside from Bill's delightful demeanor - is the idea of combining alternative and modern medicine. Alternative medicine sometimes gets a bad rap, and I'll admit that I'm guilty of questioning the efficacy at times. There are plenty of stories about people who lost battles with treatable diseases because they refused their doctor's recommendations. Bill even shared that he knew of two people who'd died of throat cancer after choosing not to pursue traditional treatments. What I had never considered before is how the two can work together.

More From Bill: 

• Become a Thriving After Cancer member
• Take the How to Be Bulletproof from Criticism course

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Her first husband had "all the red flags," but as she put it, she had to learn the hard way. It was when her second marriage ended that she realized a hard truth. She might have had two less-than-stellar husbands, but she was the one who went ahead and married them. She asked herself, "what the fuck is wrong with you that you keep choosing and marrying these toxic men?" It wasn't self-loathing as much as it was an aha moment, but she still felt broken. 

Here's where we backtrack a little. There was a pretty shitty step-dad during her teen years. I said her story is not about the step-dads, but when you're getting into your earliest relationships at a time when your mom is with a man who is emotionally abusing you, you're probably not learning the best lessons. 

Sometimes the not-so-fun lessons are the ones you learn the most from, and Melanie learned a lot from her failed relationships. She's now using those lessons to help others as a love and relationship expert at The Wild Heart Life.

More From Melanie:

• Submit an application for a 1:1 Mentorship
• Sign up for The Portal to Power Couple
• Follow on Facebook or Instagram

 
Please remember to rate, review, subscribe, share and all the other dumb shit creators are always telling you to do. I hate to ask, but it helps more than you know. 

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Creators & Guests

• Terrible Scott - Host
• Producer Dan - Host
• Melanie Verstraete - Guest

Tonje was on a business trip when she got “the call no mother wants to get.” It was her brother, and all he would say is that she had to come home. She hung up and called her husband, and he told her their 18-month old daughter had died unexpectedly overnight. 

She had to get home. She was in another part of the country, she was alone, and she had to get home. It was the only thing she could do, and it wasn’t as easy as just going home. She was hours away from the airport, and once there, she had to figure out how to get a flight. It was there when she was desperately trying to get home that she heard herself say “my daughter just died.” 

More From Tonje: 

• Download 7 Easy Steps To Supporting Loved Ones In Grief
• Book Tonje for a speaking engagement or podcast
• Take the Grief Untangled course

Mentioned in This Episode: 

• Casey’s General Store: The Pizza at This Midwestern Gas Station Chain Has a Cult Following
  
  

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Wanna Tell a fucked up story or be the first to get a Decent Fucking Human Tattoo? Send us an email at podcast@positivelyterrible.com
Creators & Guests

• Terrible Scott - Host
• Producer Dan - Host
• Tonje Wyn-Jones - Guest

You can probably tell by the title, but Lisa had a rough couple of years. Rough is probably selling it short – maybe I should call it a fucked-up couple of years. It started with the death of her niece, which while not ideal, was not entirely unexpected. She’d been in and out of the hospital for her entire life, and it wasn’t a given that she’d live into her thirties like she did. A week later, before she could really grieve her loss, she learned that her father had a cancerous brain tumor. He died 7 months later…then 14 months later her mom died…then 2 months after that her son-in-law died...and in between that 8 other people died. Like I said, it was a fucked-up couple of years. 

There were times during those two years when it wasn’t even about who to grieve, but what to grieve. Her dad gradually lost his physical abilities before he passed away. Her daughter’s life was no longer the same. She had thousands of losses during that time, not just the twelve people who passed. 

Lisa is a Decent Fucking Human, and Lisa is experienced in grief. You could probably guess what comes next. She's taken her expertise and used it to help others. She's now a life coach, inspirational speaker, podcaster, and author. You know what they say, when life gives you obscene amounts of death in a short period of time, make lemonade. I think that's how it goes...

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Book a consultation on her website and get her eBook How to Support a Loved One Who is Grieving by signing up for her emails.   

Listen to her podcast and other speaking engagements.

See everywhere else you can find her on her Linktree.

Mentioned in This Episode: 

• David Kessler: Your grief is the worst grief. 
• Aly Bird: Author of Grief Ally, and Decent Fucking Human

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Wanna Tell a fucked up story or be the first to get a Decent Fucking Human Tattoo? Send us an email at podcast@positivelyterrible.com

Creators & Guests

• Terrible Scott - Host
• Producer Dan - Host
• Lisa Marie - Guest

Relationships are complicated. Their move to St. Louis was rough for him and he began to struggle. It didn't work out there for a lot of reasons, and moving back across the state didn't immediately relieve their problems either. He was depressed and Julie was unemployed, and they were both waiting for life to work itself out for their marriage to get back on track. That's still not an excuse to do the things that shit-heads do. 

That never happened. One day Julie called her husband at work and confronted him about his suspected infidelity. He admitted to not only getting his girlfriend pregnant, but that's also the day she learned that this woman had already given birth to her husband's son. They kept it secret for a while because they needed to figure out what their next steps were, and finally decided to try to make it work. That's when they shared the news with her mother-in-law, and she was thrilled. Her husband, his girlfriend, their child, and grandma all had a nice little family without her, all while she thought they were still trying to make it work. 

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Book a free 15-minute chat with Julie here.  

Mentioned in this episode:
The Skee League - Adult skeeball league in Chicago
Necessarily Verbose - Scott's blog

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Creators & Guests

• Terrible Scott - Host
• Producer Dan - Host
• Julie Long - Guest

She says she wasn't always a Decent Fucking Human. She was wild and charismatic - two things that can get any kid in trouble. She was the kid who convinced her friends to run away in 4th grade when they got caught smoking. Their adventure was ended pretty quickly by a fence and a mother (not hers), but she found herself on her own at 14 when she could no longer handle the sexual abuse at home. 

That's the way Jackie tells her story. She sprinkles in humor before breaking your heart, and then she makes you laugh again. You're going to laugh a lot listening to this one.

I'm not going to take you through the twists and turns of Jackie's story because I can't even begin to do it justice - she's the charismatic one after all. There is one last thing I need to tell you though. On December 16, 2022, Jackie's oldest son was murdered by his ex. I can't let you press play without mentioning this. Keep it in mind when you hear the way she talks about her life and her sobriety today. This woman has been to hell and back, and then to hell again, and she still wakes up every day and chooses sobriety.
 
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Get your copy of Divine Love and read Jackie's chapter titled The Longest Uber Ride to learn about Jackie's experience in rehab and how her non-profit Transforming Tumbleweeds came into existence. 

https://www.facebook.com/transformingtumbleweeds

Creators & Guests

• Terrible Scott - Host
• Producer Dan - Host
• Jacqualine Suzanne - Guest

On April 20, 1999, two students walked into Columbine High School and changed this country forever. They murdered thirteen people - including 12 students and a teacher - and wounded twenty-one others. Ten of the victims who lost their lives were in the library. So was Heidi. 

Heidi was a sophomore with sophomore problems. She was going through a weird friend transition and liked to spend her lunch in the library. She had a great view of the mountains from the library and enjoyed the solitude. When she heard a commotion outside, she brushed it off. It was senior prank season, and during those days nobody expected a mass shooting at a school. Even after a teacher ran into the library yelling about a kid getting shot and telling everyone to get under a table, she still couldn’t comprehend what was happening.

From her vantage point, she could see the shooters enter the library. It was almost cinematic. It was dark and smokey, and she could see shells falling to the floor. She heard them talk about the bombs they were planning to detonate, and heard them telling everyone that they didn’t need to worry because they’d all be dead soon. Too many did die, but Heidi was not one of them. 

Heidi is an incredible woman, a survivor, and a Decent Fucking Human. Go ahead and give this one a listen.

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Creators & Guests

• Terrible Scott - Host
• Producer Dan - Host
• Heidi Johnson - Guest

Jorge’s career in Warehouse Logistics started when he was 19. He’d realized he either had to find a decent gig or else he’d need to find two less-than-decent ones, so he decided to apply where his cousin worked. Not only was it full-time, but it came with overtime. It was perfect for a hungry kid like Jorge, and he turned it into a career on his first try. It probably would have been his career right up until he decided he’d rather spend his days on the beach than at work, but a devastating back injury decided to show up and alter the rest of his life. 

He didn’t realize it was devastating. I’m not sure he’d even have characterized it as an actual injury at first. He filled out the report, went home, and figured he’d be sore for a few days. The next day it became apparent that something wasn’t right, so he called his mom and said “let’s go to the hospital.” It turned out he had 3 herniated discs, one in his lower back, one midway up, and one in his neck. 

Jorge spent the next 2.5 years heavily medicated and looking for options. He finally realized he wasn’t living anymore, only existing. He was depressed and at his very lowest, and he was having suicidal thoughts when he decided he needed to do something. Jorge took control of his life again and hasn't looked back. He's now a realtor, inventor (Batting Pro) an author, a speaker, and a Decent Fucking Human. He also has a free eBook you can download called Answer the Call. 

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While it’s never appropriate to compare traumas, Harris might have set a Positively Terrible record for the number of different traumas they discussed with us. There were multiple instances of sexual trauma resulting in simple PTSD. There was complex PTSD from family trauma. There was that time they had cancer and that other time they had physical paralysis. They’re neurodivergent, which I’d argue results in trauma from trying to fit into a society that’s designed for neurotypical brains. They also experienced suicidal ideation and self-harm. I guess what I’m saying is to get your Mental Health & Trauma Bingo card ready because we’re talking about a little of everything in this one. 

The thing that impresses me about Harris is their willingness to ask for help. Harris sought out help at every turn, and at every turn, the adults in the room failed them. Now Harris is the adult in the room and gets to help others at her Centre for Childhood Trauma Healing. 

Episode Participants:

1. Harris Eddie Hill (they/them): Guest
2. Terrible Scott (he/him): Co-host.
3. Producer Dan (he/him): Co-host.

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Creators & Guests

• Terrible Scott - Host
• Producer Dan - Host
• Harris Eddie Hill - Guest

Carleigh looked like a normal kid on the outside. She might have been a tad hyper, but she did alright in school and didn't have any issues making friends. Those are the things you look for, right? Any outside observer would have thought she was a normal, middle-class kid living a normal, middle-class life. And for the most part, she probably was. Lots of kids mask their depression and anxiety from their parents, but Carleigh went so far as to plan to take her own life when she was 12. What she didn't know at the time was how rare it is for a child to reach the planning stage of suicide, and that she would later be diagnosed as having bipolar disorder. 

This episode isn't about a child who tried to take her life, though we talked about her plan more than anything else. She never got that far because she had a buddy who turned out to be a Decent Fucking Human. This friend showed concern for her well-being, and she realize that there were people who cared about her and her continued existence amongst the living. She never got that far because somebody fucking cared. Remember to check in on your friends, please. 

Carleigh's relationship with her dad was rocky, and that probably contributed to why nobody at home knew what was going on. He was a stubborn and angry man back then, and I can't imagine it was a safe place to share personal struggles and be vulnerable. She didn't say that, but I think that's just one of many reasons teenagers find themselves masking their depression at home. They want to appear normal, even though most don't feel like they are, and they don't want to upset/bother/disappoint their parents. It's easier to hide it. 

Carleigh's dad was eventually diagnosed with bipolar disorder. His mental health journey was moving full speed ahead, which was great, but she was terrified that she'd be diagnosed as well. A few years later she had her first (and only as of the time of recording) manic episode, and was self-aware enough to know what was going on and went to the hospital for help.

Carleigh has not had a repeat episode of mania, has a much better relationship with her father, and is managing her mental health without the use of pharmaceuticals. She helps others do the same as a Holistic Mental Wellness coach. Check out the free guide she's giving away over on her website, and maybe just give her a follow on the 'gram or whatever. 

Episode Participants

• Hosts: Producer Dan and Terrible Scott
• Guest: Carleigh (Mental Wellness Coach)

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Wanna Tell a fucked up story or be the first to get a Decent Fucking Human Tattoo? Send us an email at podcast@positivelyterrible.com

Creators & Guests

• Terrible Scott - Host
• Producer Dan - Host
• Carleigh - Guest

I'm having a hard time not naming this episode Uncle Satan, the Punk Rock Archaeologist. That feels a little too click-baity for me, even if those words contain no lies. We did interview an Uncle Satan, he is an archeologist who came up in the punk crowd, and he does suffer from anxiety. See? All true. But the real story here is the anxiety, with a little bit of teenage addiction sprinkled in.

The anxiety started early. Uncle Satan's parents divorced when he was young, and that fucked things up in the ways divorces sometimes do. First was the custody battle, and then his parents found new relationships. Those aren't situations that kids plan to find themselves in. Most don't have the coping skills to handle that without help. His preferred help was to start drinking and doing drugs. By the time he was told he was dropping out of high school (yes told), he was a daily drinker.  So now we're at Uncle Satan, the (Anxious/Alcohol-addicted) Punk Rock Archeologist/High School Dropout.

Guess what Uncle Satan did then? He got his shit together. He got sober and got a high school diploma, went to college, went to more college, and continued to do still more college. He's an archeologist now, doing all kinds of archaeologist things. We didn't get too deep into what being an archaeologist entails, but one can only assume it includes things like raiding lost arks and doing final crusades (before crusading some more a couple of decades later). It's basically all of the boring stuff archaeologists strive to leave behind when they finally land a sweet office job or something. It's not a bad gig though. 

That doesn't mean all was well. The anxiety he was treating with alcohol back in high school didn't magically disappear, and since he's a Decent Fucking Human - not a Perfect Fucking Human -  he fucked up. I'm not going to go into the details since he covers them in the episode, but I will point out that he's the one who used the word creep to describe how he acted toward a friend and colleague with whom he desired a romantic relationship. The consequences and shame got so bad that he contemplated taking his life over all of the fallout within his friend group. Instead of following through with his suicidal thoughts, he decided to learn and grow from his actions, and aimed to understand why he did the things he did. And that Terrible Listeners, is how he became the man known as Uncle Satan, the (Anxious/Alcohol-addicted)Punk Rock Archaeologist/High School Dropout/Decent Fucking Human. 

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Marie met her now ex at 24 and thought he was a “condescending asshole.” Naturally, that meant she should cast him as the lead in a production she was working on, fall in love, and move to Australia with him in short order. All of that sounds pretty cool and probably happened because she wasn’t in a great place in life. She’d recently been assaulted and was very vulnerable. When they moved to Australia, she didn’t have a job or support system, and didn’t even recognize that the relationship was becoming abusive. 

At first, the move was like a long vacation. She hiked a lot and tried to make the best of it, but it was extremely isolating. She couldn’t work because she didn’t have a work visa, and it was before the days of Zoom so it was harder to stay connected to friends and family back in the US. He didn’t necessarily invite Marie to move so she would be isolated from loved ones, but it worked out quite well for him.

It was in Australia when the emotional abuse began. He’d spend hours belittling her and breaking he down. It was terrible. When they moved back to the States, the non-consensual kink began. He’d do anything he could to make her cry, and when she did, that’s when he’d initiate sex. 

There’s a whole lot more here, but my favorite part is when we get to the positive. Marie got out. She started dating, she started working on herself, and she started healing. Today she’s a Theta healing practitioner and owner of House of Kellen. Give her a follow on her socials (@houseofkellen) and reach out to Marie if you’re interested in learning more about Theta healing.

Topics Discussed:

• Marie's experiences with non-consensual kinks and emotional abuse.
• Her journey in the theater and circus communities.
• The dynamics of abusive relationships and the impact on self-perception.
• Moving to Australia and the challenges faced there.
• Marie's involvement in kink communities and its relation to her personal experiences.
• Healing and recovery through Theta Healing and community support

Episode Participants:

• Terrible Scott (Host)
• Producer Dan (Host)
• Marie Miller (Guest)

Follow our socials:

Instagram: @positivelyterrible
Facebook: @positivelyterrible

Wanna Tell a fucked up story or be the first to get a Decent Fucking Human Tattoo? Send us an email at podcast@positivelyterrible.com

Creators & Guests

• Marie Miller - Guest
• Terrible Scott - Host
• Producer Dan - Host

• Notable Quotes:
  • Christine Errico: "I always felt broken... I just wanted to not get bullied... to be myself."
  • Terrible Scott: "I would tell [12-year-old Christine] that we just talked on video over audio... for her to realize just how far that you've come."

Episode Participants:

• Christine Errico (Guest)
• Terrible Scott (Host)
• Producer Dan (Producer)

Mentioned Resources:

• Smile Train: A global organization mentioned by Christine Errico for supporting those with cleft lips and palates.
• Christine Errico's TED Talk: Discussed during the podcast as part of her advocacy and awareness-raising efforts.

He pieced together that the prior night was an orchestrated goodbye. She clearly wanted to make it memorable for him.  They had a playful evening and she made him his favorite meal. There was no obvious indication that it would be anything but another fun night with her husband. It was the last night they ever shared together, but it was also the last normal night his family would have for years. He'd lost his partner, his children lost their mother, everyone was grieving...and then the boyfriends started coming out of the woodwork.

Andy never saw it coming. He thought he had a perfect marriage, but these men insisted she was in love with them, and they believed they were going to have a future with her. Andy said an officer on the scene thought it was a clear suicide, but the men insisted she wouldn't have done it. Even so, Andy has been unable to put the accusations to rest. 

Andy came to the conclusion that the only way to fight back is with his voice. The harassment has not stopped, but Who Turned Up the Silence is Andy's attempt to be heard. 

Follow our socials:
Instagram: @positivelyterrible
Facebook: @positivelyterrible

Wanna Tell a fucked up story? Or wanna be the first to get a Decent Fucking Human Tattoo? Send us an email at podcast@positivelyterrible.com

Creators & Guests

• Terrible Scott - Host
• Producer Dan - Host
• Andy Turner - Guest

Sean Young is a combat veteran, has enough ex-wives that I lost count during the episode, sports a beard that's longer than Dan and Scott's combined, and hosts two podcasts (Recover Out Loud and Beyond the Veil). If you noticed this episode is longer than recent releases, go back and read that sentence again. Do you think we could cover that in 55 minutes? And do you think we wanted to? I only ended it because Producer Dan was one question away from asking Sean if he could leave to be Sean's co-host.

Sean was inspired to join the Army because of 9/11. He admitted to that kind of sheepishly, but it was true. He was only in 7th grade in 2001 and was naive like any kid of that age. By the time he actually had to make a choice, he'd decided his true calling was to be a pastor. He told Dad about that plan and it was a no-go. They had a falling out and Sean enlisted that day. 

The Army was great for Sean - for a minute. He got to leave his small town, he thrived in Basic Training, and he even got to jump out of airplanes. He was (and is) afraid of heights, but fuck it. Why the hell wouldn't he jump out of a perfectly good plane? It was a hell of a rush. 

Sean's first deployment sent him to Italy. He was eighteen years old, on his own for the first time, and was able to legally drink. That is where this story starts to take a turn. From there he drinks and drinks some more, marries and marries some more, and in between he fought against the Taliban. He didn't come out unscathed.

Sean is finally in a good spot in life and is out there helping others in his Recover Out Loud podcast. Settle in Terrible Listeners, today's episode is going to be Positively Terrible.

FROM THIS EPISODE
Films about Sean's Afghanistan Deployment
Restrepo
Korengal

Creators & Guests

• Terrible Scott - Host
• Producer Dan - Host
• Sean Young - Guest

Angilie’s career began as a scrub tech, which means she was part of the surgical team at a hospital. It was a little chilly working in the Operating Room, so she eventually ventured over to an entry level position on the administrative side. It’s probably no surprise that she climbed the ladder into management, considering healthcare was in her blood. Things were great until she was called into a meeting and was blind-sided. 

She’d worked there for years, and all it took was 5 minutes to be laid off. She went in, was given a pink slip and a couple boxes, and it was over. It was a different kind of cold than the operating room, but the best word to describe it was cold. It’s always that way. 

Things were tough – she lost touch with coworkers, lost her confidence, and fell into a depression. Her identity was wrapped up in her career, and took some time before she started to look for work again. It didn't go well, but you'll have to listen to hear about that.

Angilie is now a career coach for people going into management. Looking back she can see it was a blessing. It was a little blip that allowed her to take some time to decide what she wanted to do. She's now got her own business and is out there helping others and being a Decent Human Being. 

Creators & Guests

• Terrible Scott - Host
• Producer Dan - Host
• Angilie Kapoor - Guest

Things were going well for Libby in junior high. She was on cheer and in dance, she was smart, and she was popular. That’s about the best most tweens and teens can hope for. All was swell in Libby’s life, but then her parents had to up and move to another community, and Libby had to start over at a new school. It didn’t go so well. She went from popular to unknown, from being the best or near best at everything to being smart and talented, but not the smartest or most talented.

Remember the lesson she learned earlier – gaining weight equals bad and losing weight equals good? Well that lesson was about to come in handy. She’d lost some control in her life, so she could regain it by losing weight. She couldn't do better than straight A's, but she could always lose another pound by restricting her diet in unhealthy ways.

Libby struggled with disordered eating for many years, but she’s doing great today. She’s a therapist, a certified intuitive eating coach, and a Decent Fucking Human. 

Creators & Guests

• Terrible Scott - Host
• Producer Dan - Host
• Libby Supan - Guest

It was a lot for his little brain, but if you're hoping it gets better from there, you'll have to wait a little longer. His reaction was to be an asshole. He was angry, and he was strong - it was a bad combination. When he finally realized the damage he was doing, he turned to drugs. A better way to medicate than beating people up if you ask me, but still probably not the best way to cope.

Dana did eventually get his shit together. His parents got him into therapy before it was cool, and then he started to realize that being a therapist is pretty cool too. Now he's a clinical psychologist in Santa Barbara, CA, and hosts a podcast called Fear Me Out so he can reach those not able to work with in person. 

I'll be honest - Dana's methods will require you to keep an open mind. That's not an insult to Dana - at one point he even said "how could you not be skeptical?" His stories are ones of hypnosis and recovered memories - including in utero - and he admitted that he had not believed in some of his experiences before he experienced them. Life experiences are pretty convincing, and I'm sure as hell not going to argue with the results. I'm happy Dana found the treatment led him to the life of a Decent Fucking Human. 

Creators & Guests

• Terrible Scott - Host
• Producer Dan - Host
• Dr. Dana Saperstein, PhD. - Guest

Desi's dad died when she was 21. That's not part of her "decade of doom"as she called it, but still an important part of her story. It's a trauma for another day though. The problems she was here to talk about started with her marriage. She lost her job. Her Father-in-Law was sick. She started to notice that her husband was drinking a lot. The drinking was clearly a problem, but she might not have been as quick to recognize it as she'd have liked. She was eventually referred to Al-Anon. The first time she wasn't ready the first time, but she eventually had some luck with it when she was ready.

She finally realized she had to leave. The first time it was a false start - she went back. Eventually she finally left for good, but not before he'd gotten a job at her workplace. I hate to say that parts of it are even close to comical, but parts of it are even close to comical - at least they do when they're not happening to you. From there things started to get...worse. Her mom was diagnosed with ALS (Lou Gerhig's Disease). Then her cat died. Then her mom passed as well. She called it a decade of doom, but I'll call it a decade of shit. She

It's not all bad though - Desi does what Decent Fucking Humans do. She got a dog and she began to advocate for herself. Then the pandemic hit...then she lost her job...but even this wasn't all bad. She took time for herself and to heal. Now she realizes that she has choices. She's now chosen to take her talents to the world of coaching. Check out her website if you're interested.

Creators & Guests

• Terrible Scott - Host
• Producer Dan - Host
• Desiree Doucet - Guest

So why am I calling her lucky? Well, it’s because these women were in her life in the first place. The first best friend she ever had was her grandmother. Patrice was her shadow from the time she was four. She spent all her time with her grandmother and was lucky to see first-hand how she built a community and took care of those around her. I wish she was still around so I could sit down with a cup of (spiked) hot chocolate and listen. 

Her grandmother was in her 80s when she passed and had already lived a purposeful life. It hurt, but maybe it was easier to bounce back from because nobody could suggest she didn’t live an incredible life. Seven years later she lost her next best friend — her mom. If that wasn’t bad enough, her stepfather had his leg amputated around this time so she was stretched to her limit. She fell into a deep depression after her mom’s passing, and it took years for her to recover. 

So all of that sucks, right? Sure, I’ll give you that. That’s not the only perspective though. Patrice said the two most important people in her life were her mom and grandmother, and not everyone gets that. I’m sure many of our Terrible Listeners don’t have that. She’s incredibly lucky to come from a Decent Fucking Family if you ask me. You don’t have to ask me though — you can always press play and decide for yourself.

Creators & Guests

• Terrible Scott - Host
• Producer Dan - Host
• Patrice - Guest

Eileen decided it was time to start drinking when she convinced herself that others got to fuck up and blame the booze, and she thought she should get that too. The good news was that she was half right about that. The bad news is that she was only half right about that. She fucked up plenty, but wasn’t able to just blame the booze. She hurt people, made bad decisions, blacked out a whole lot, and then one night found herself being dragged into her room by her mom after a drunken night out in Cincinatti. That’s when she decided to make sobriety cool again. 

I have to talk a bit about how lucky Dan and I are to get to talk to Decent Fucking Humans every week. We’re grateful to be trusted with such delicate stories, but it sometimes gets lost that so many of our guests are such Talented Fucking Humans. Eileen is one of them. Theater (and addiction) are in her blood. Her great grandfather was a broadway actor. She’s distantly related to Maud Adams, famous for her portrayal of Peter Pan. She’s now carrying on the family legacy as director of Household Spirits, a play opening next week at Theater Witt in Chicago. If you’re a smarter human than me, you’ll immediately recognize that it might just be an appropriate tale for the Halloween season. Get yourself a ticket. 

Creators & Guests

• Terrible Scott - Host
• Producer Dan - Host
• Eileen Tull - Guest

Mike grew up in Texas. There are many great people and places in Texas, but Mike also grew up Black and Queer in Texas. You’ve probably heard the same rumors I have that Texas isn't the easiest place to grow up Black or Queer, let alone Black and Queer. That’s okay though, because Mike turns mountains into molehills. He puts all his energies into his passions and eventually succeeds. He’s also humble though, so he’s probably going to hate me fawning all over him (sorry Mike). 

The thing that struck me the most about our conversation was the way he talked about his parents. If you are a parent and want to know how to raise a Decent Fucking Human, listen to this episode. Mike’s Mom and Dad showed up to the table. They made sure he was respected and treated fairly. They were there for him. There may have been an adjustment period after Mike came out, but he gave them the space to work that out. He even said he couldn’t judge them because for a long time he didn’t even accept himself. Spoiler alert — it all worked out fine with Mike and his family, and for that reason, I am going to welcome them into the Decent Fucking Family as well. Mike, please bestow the honor upon them and report back on their reaction. Everyone else, please press play. 

Creators & Guests

• Terrible Scott - Host
• Producer Dan - Host
• Mike Brown - Guest

Aly and her husband were a power couple. Maybe not with the fame of Taylor Swift and whoever that football player guy is, but they felt like they could do anything together. The evidence backed it up too, at least until she received a phone call telling her that he'd had an accident and died. 

Aly knows people are well-intentioned, but one person just can't eat that much. A meal is cool, but when there's food going bad in the fridge because you rarely allow yourself second lunch, and you're trying to grieve and do the million other things you have to do after an unexpected death, another meatloaf might not be the best option. 

So what do you do? Well you listen to this episode and maybe buy Aly's book. It's better to have it before you need it than, than to need it and not have it. Ya dig?

Creators & Guests

• Terrible Scott - Host
• Producer Dan - Host
• Aly Bird - Guest

I should have known. Josh explained that he learned of us from fan favorite Scooter, star of Episode 8: Scooter and the Ghost of Drinking Future. Decent Fucking Humans tend to find each other don’t they? If only there was a way we could mark ourselves to make it easier to find each other — maybe some sort of Decent Fucking Human tattoo or something. Sorry…I’ve gotten off track. All I’m trying to say is, when someone is good with any one of our Positively Terrible alums, they’re good with me. And Josh is definitely good with me.

Okay, so Josh’s story — I’ll let him tell most of it, but it started with his times as a Youth Pastor. Things went relatively well, but then he decided to uproot his life and take a position with a church in Florida. It was the next step of his career and he would no longer have to raise funds to cover his pay like he had to in his old position — sounds great, right? If it was, he wouldn’t have a fucked-up experience to talk to us about. His church was toxic. He took a huge risk for his career, and within months it was starting to crumble. His church leaders were not exactly Christ-like, but they were more than happy to use the name of Jesus to abuse and manipulate employees, as well as their congregation. It’s all pretty disgusting.

Josh decided to leave that church and move back home, and is now pursuing his faith on his own terms on his (Re)thinking Faith Podcast. Please go check it out.

Creators & Guests

• Terrible Scott - Host
• Producer Dan - Host
• Josh - Guest

Katy was raised for a time on a commune disguised as a cult. She spent her time in the woods instead of school, and had a mother who had a suspected personality disorder. She literally hoped to be put in a group home, rather than continuing to live with her mother.

The rest of her story is fascinating. She hitch hiked, rode the rails, got a lot of help from strangers, and got at least one very interesting tattoo. I can't even do this episode justice, so just press play. 

Creators & Guests

• Terrible Scott - Host
• Producer Dan - Host
• Katy - Guest

What happened? Amy fell - or maybe it's better characterized as fainted - while at home and wound up with a sheared brainstem and broken neck. There's more though, and I'm not talking about the part where we skip to the happy ending. No, things got worse before they got better. Doctors did not diagnose Amy with these injuries immediately, so it was 6 months before they even discovered her neck had been broken. There's more too, but she explains it better than I do in the episode.

Amy spent 23 hours a day in bed because of her injuries for about a year, and had started planning to take her life when she decided to do what Decent Fucking Humans so often do - survive, thrive, and tell her story and help others tell theirs.

Creators & Guests

• Terrible Scott - Host
• Producer Dan - Host
• Amy Thurman - Guest

Comprehensive directories of therapists with detailed profiles, specialties, and contact information:
Psychology Today (www.psychologytoday.com)
Therapy Den (www.therapyden.com)
Inclusive Therapist (www.inclusivetherapist.com)

National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) (www.nami.org): Provides information, support, and resources for individuals and families affected by mental illness.  They have information on different types of mental health crisis services. 

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255 (TALK); en Español: 1-888-628-9454; for the deaf and hard of hearing: Dial 711, then 1-800-273-8255.

Text HOME to 741-741 to be connected with a trained crisis counselor and receive free support via text message from the Crisis Text Line.

A list of additional resources can be found at SpeakingofSuicide.com/resources.

Creators & Guests

• Terrible Scott - Host
• Producer Dan - Host
• Rose Metivier - Guest

Music Therapy Wiki
Music Therapy Videos:

Gait training 

Autism 

Dementia 

Loren’s Practice

American Music Therapy Association

Illinois Music Therapy Association

All the dumb stuff we talk about in this epsode:

The Skee League 

Pho No.1 Vietnamese Cuisine

Pho 888

Crisp

Devon Ave

Ghareeb Nawaz Restaurant

Gallows Bound - Black Widow Woman 7:18

A pretty damn good playlist

Jordan Joyes tattoo artist

Costco Good Vibes Shirt

Defector Quit Your Job Shirt

Be Kind Hooded Sweatshirt

Matt Maeson Hallucinogenics

Matt Maeson Cringe

Matt Maeson Put It on Me

therealicp on Instagram

Welcome Table - Dan Zanes

Dan and Claudia Zanes

Creators & Guests

• Terrible Scott - Host
• Producer Dan - Host
• Loren - Guest

She eventually found her passion though, and through that, a direction. She went to University. She got a degree in something meaningful to her. She was - and is - a success, as well as a Decent Fucking Human. Her fucked up story starts after getting into a Master's program she'd wanted to attend for years, and ends with her filing a human rights complaint against a professor who held a lot of power of her future. 

Creators & Guests

• Terrible Scott - Host
• Producer Dan - Host
• Darlene Meissner - Guest

She didn't always tell her fucked up story. When she first tried to tell her friend group, one of them told her she was wrong. It was two years before she was willing to talk about it again. Now Zaira hosts her own Podcast where she gives people the opportunity tell their own stories. Go like and follow her everywhere. 

Complex Like Wine
Instagram
Creators & Guests

• Terrible Scott - Host
• Producer Dan - Host
• Zaira Armendariz - Guest

That's what happened though. The cool thing is that his friend saved his life. The not-so-cool part of it was pretty much everything else, including the Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). 

Oh, the other cool part is that this accident gave him direction. He saw how much Decent Fucking Humans can help other Decent Fucking Humans, and decided that was for him. He went into social work and therapy, and now he's the founder of Revitalize Mental Health. He continues to prove he's a Decent Fucking Human.

https://www.revitalizementalhealth.com/

Creators & Guests

• Terrible Scott - Host
• Producer Dan - Host
• Daniel Gospodarek - Guest

This was Terrible Rita's traumatic experience. She was a teenager who'd befriend a woman ten years her elder - one who had already a child and divorced her abusive husband. Both were already well versed in survival when  their paths crossed, and they developed a brief, but meaningful, friendship. 

Bernadette's short life came to an end in 1974, but Terrible Rita has kept her memory alive since. Today's fucked up story is about domestic violence and murder, but most of all, it's about friendship. 

Creators & Guests

• Terrible Scott - Host
• Producer Dan - Host
• Terrible Rita - Guest

When I started my mental health journey, I never could have imagined where it would lead. I told my therapist I wanted to do public speaking and mental health advocacy, and look at me now. I'm doing both through the magic of the internet. I wouldn't recommend the shit I went through to get here, but I wouldn't trade any part of my life if it meant I wasn't here talking to you Terrible Listeners every week.

We've had incredible guests come on and talk about addiction, relationships, stalking, more addiction, cancer, coming out, more cancer, racism, and more relationships. We've seen just how good life can be on the other side. We've talked to a bunch of Decent Fucking Humans, and have a bunch more fucked up stories lined up. I understand what Bill meant in Episode 3 when he said he's living a life he never could have imagined. So am I. I feel whole. Thank you for listening.

Suicide and Crises Lifeline
call or text 988 

We’ve all had bad years, right? One year you get divorced, another your dad is diagnosed with cancer, and in another shitty year you’re fighting addiction. It sucks, but it’s life. You process it, and with a little luck and a lot of work, you move on. But what would you do if all three happened at once?

Luckily Elizabeth is alive, has a fucking therapist and did a lot of work. Settle in Terrible Listeners, because she’s here to tell her story about sobriety, divorce, and grief. 

Terrible Listeners: 
Send a picture raising a beer for Gus for our Instagram page. 

If you’d like to appear on the Podcast to share your fucked up story, please email us at podcast@positivelyterrible.com.  

Facebook 

Instagram

Creators & Guests

• Terrible Scott - Host
• Producer Dan - Host
• Scooter - Guest

Neil Young - My My Hey Hey

“It’s better to burn out, than fade away”

Join the Bone Marrow Transplant Registry

Take the first step to being someone’s cure by joining the blood stem cell registry today.

Imerman Angels

Your One-on-One Cancer Support Community

Leukemia Research Foundation

The Leukemia Research Foundation's mission is to cure leukemia by funding innovative research, and to support patients and families.

Totally Unrelated to Mike, but incredibly informative information for our terrible listeners:
Adventures of a Master Burrito Ambassador

Creators & Guests

• Terrible Scott - Host
• Producer Dan - Host
• Mike - Guest

The Word “Cisgender” Has Scientific Roots 

Creators & Guests

• Terrible Scott - Host
• Producer Dan - Host
• Gracen - Guest

Creators & Guests

• Producer Dan - Host
• Naseem - Guest

Brace for uncensored tales as Bill exposes how addiction shattered his family, relationships, and career. On a lighter note, he shares his favorite Insane Clown Posse track, "Please Don’t Hate Me," and thoughts on the Vice Documentary "Gathering of the Juggalos."

Bill's sobriety journey is a haphazard, bumpy ride, but he's clean today, spinning his chaotic tales to aid others. Dive in for a no-holds-barred chat about smashing toxic masculinity and prioritizing mental health, one fucked-up story at a time.

Creators & Guests

• Bill Brasky - Guest
• Terrible Scott - Host
• Producer Dan - Host

Despite his terminal cancer diagnosis, Francis refuses to let life's challenges get him down. He shares his unique perspective on the world, urging us all to take the time to appreciate the people and experiences that make life worth living. Scott also reflects on the power of connection, sharing how he's been able to support his cousin and others through difficult times

Together, we explore the beauty of casual conversations and connections, finding joy and positivity in even the toughest of circumstances. So sit back, pour yourself a stiff drink, and join us for a conversation that will leave you feeling uplifted and inspired. After all, as Neighbor Francis reminds us, life is too short to waste on negativity.

Creators & Guests

• Terrible Scott - Host
• Neighbor Francis - Guest
• Producer Dan - Host

Hello Terrible Listener, and welcome to the first episode of Positively Terrible. This story is the one where Scott (that's me), his wife's fiance, and her boyfriend, all walk into a bar. It's the story about how after that night I had to come to terms with being an abused husband, which was a thought that had never crossed my mind. I also had to choose between shame and sharing my story, so naturally, I decided to make a damn podcast. This episode is dedicated to the memory of the marriage of Scott and Redacted.

In January 2021, I was isolated. We were heading into pandemic season two, I was working from home, and my wife was never there because of "work." If that wasn't enough, one of my cats decided to succumb to kidney disease just a few weeks after being diagnosed. Weeks into 2021 it was not shaping up to be my year, and February and March were even worse. My wife had what I characterized at the time as a "mental breakdown" and wouldn't seek help for it, so I decided that I'd start therapy and find out how to best support her.

Starting therapy was pretty fucking rad. The first month I talked about her and wanted to know how I could support her, but after that I decided that I had to control the things I could control - and what I could control was me. That decision changed my life.

When my wife got into a suspicious car accident in July - suspicious because the details didn't make sense and the insurance claim didn't match the details she gave me - I was able to follow the leads. I'd had suspicions for a long time, but I always stopped one question short. I didn't want to know the truth. This time I followed the leads and ended up in a bar with her fiance and her boyfriend.

Episode Participants:

• Terrible Scott (Host)
• Producer Dan (Host)

Follow our socials:

Instagram: @positivelyterrible
Facebook: @positivelyterrible

Wanna Tell a fucked up story or get a Decent Fucking Human Tattoo? Send us an email at podcast@positivelyterrible.com

Creators & Guests

• Terrible Scott - Host
• Producer Dan - Host