What we discussed:

• How do parents navigate the breastfeeding versus formula decision when faced with unexpected challenges like tongue and lip ties?
• What strategies work (and don’t work) for dealing with picky eaters and food refusal?
• How do you balance nutrition ideals with the reality of kids who want nothing but chicken nuggets and mac and cheese?
• What’s the deal with school food allergies, and how have restrictions around peanut butter and other allergens changed the classroom dynamic?
• How do food struggles shift as kids become teenagers and gain more independence over their eating choices?

Additional topics:

• The comedy and reality of kids as “little food criminals” who share and trade despite strict school policies
• How grocery costs and privilege factor into conversations about “ideal” nutrition.

The TV show Matthew mentioned is called The Yard (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Yard_(2011_TV_series)) and is available on Amazon, but sadly now for a price. 

Questions We Explored

• How do you balance holiday excitement with preventing post-January 2nd crashes?
• When is the right time to stop lying about Santa, and how do kids handle the truth?
• Can Santa disappointment teach children important lessons about coping with unmet expectations?
• What's the strategy for managing presents across multiple holidays and generous relatives?
• How do New Year's traditions shift from young adult parties to family-centered celebrations?

Additional Topics

• The bookstore owner's fate: Working retail through the entire holiday season
• The great Elf debate: When one kid refuses to watch the family favorite
• Evolution of gift-giving: From big ticket items to experience-focused spending
• Hanukkah present strategies: Every night versus every other night
• The Top Chef New Year's competition and New Year's Day open house brunch tradition

In this episode, the trio swaps stories from the parenting travel trenches: Mandy's solo flight where her toddler baptized her in apple juice, Pete's infamous Baby Bjorn blowout that left his spouse covered in diarrhea for an entire red-eye, and the critical lesson both stories teach (pack. extra. clothes.). They also dig into the logistics that actually matter—Delta's sky bassinet service, the art of traveling light with maximum redundancy, and how to accept help from the secret community of parents who recognize that desperate look in your eyes.

The conversation shifts to daycare transitions and the bittersweet process of learning to let go—from the anxiety of those first phone buzzes to the unexpected heartbreak of receiving an adorable video and wishing you were cuddling instead of working. Mandy shares a cautionary tale about a babysitter who took her joking "no fun tonight" instruction completely literally, leaving her son unable to play Batman.

And in a hopeful coda, Pete offers a glimpse of the future: traveling with adult children is genuinely wonderful. They carry things. They pay for stuff. They're just... friends on a trip. Something to look forward to, parents—even if 14 years feels like a long wait.

KEY TOPICS

• Matthew's Italy trip triumph: baby Penn sleeps through international flights
• The sky bassinet: Delta's bulkhead bassinet service for infants
• Mandy's juice-soaked solo flight with toddler Casey
• Pete's legendary diaper blowout / Baby Bjorn disaster
• The golden rule: always pack extra clothes (Matthew packed three changes for 24 hours)
• Navigating travel logistics with strollers, wheelchairs, and baby gear
• The daycare transition: learning to trust and let go
• When babysitters take instructions too literally
• Traveling with only children: Mandy's solution of bringing Casey's best friend
• The promised land: traveling with adult children

What We Discussed

• Why does parenting frustration feel different from other kinds of stress in our lives?
• What's the difference between suppressing frustration and genuinely letting it go?
• How can we create space for our feelings without letting them control our reactions?
• When is frustration actually a signal that something needs to change versus just part of the deal?
• What practical tools help in the moment when you're about to lose it with your kid?
• How do we model healthy emotional processing for our children while still being human?
• Why does accepting that parenting will be frustrating sometimes actually make it easier?
• What role does self-compassion play when you inevitably handle a frustrating moment poorly?

Matthew, Mandy, and Pete explore the evolution of Halloween traditions, from the Wild West days of unsupervised neighborhood roaming to today's trunk-or-treats and group text coordination. The conversation shifts to homecoming culture, examining how high school social events have transformed and what pressure teens face around these milestone moments.

Questions We Explored:

• How has Halloween changed from our childhoods to parenting in the present day?
• Are trunk-or-treats replacing traditional trick-or-treating, and what does that shift mean?
• When does protective parenting become overprotective hovering?
• How do we balance teaching stranger danger without creating unnecessary fear?
• What role should parents play in teen social events like homecoming?
• What happens when kids opt out of traditional milestone events altogether?

The discussion examines how Larry’s gambling addiction mirrors more familiar addiction narratives, why Frank’s silent recognition that “it’s never going to change” hits so hard, and how Jason Robards delivers a masterclass in understated acting. Mandy and Matthew also reflect on the film’s refusal to wrap everything up neatly, the fleeting nature of those perfect family moments, and what it means to accept that our children will blame us for things—sometimes legitimately, sometimes as a necessary step toward their own growth.

Questions We Discussed:

• How does Frank’s enabling relationship with Larry mirror the dynamics of families dealing with addiction?
• What does the quiet scene where Frank tells Cool “your father’s not coming back” reveal about accepting parental failure?
• Why does the film refuse to give us a neat resolution, and what does that say about real parenting?
• How does the “roller coaster” metaphor apply to both the euphoric ending and the inevitable downs to come?
• What did Frank actually mean when he told his sons to “make your mark,” and how did each son interpret it differently?
• How does early parenthood create the illusion of total control, and when does that illusion start to crack?

From the fantasy of parenting versus the reality of sleepless nights to the invisible mental load that often falls on mothers, this episode explores the emotional and practical challenges that accompany early parenthood. The hosts discuss how becoming parents changed their relationships with their partners, the struggle to maintain individual identity while caring for an infant, and why the phrase “sleep when the baby sleeps” feels impossible when your mind won’t stop racing.

Questions we explored:

• How does becoming a parent challenge your sense of identity and who you thought you were?
• What’s the difference between the fantasy of parenting and the reality of caring for a newborn?
• Why does the mental load of parenting often fall disproportionately on mothers, even in equitable partnerships?
• How can partners navigate different parenting styles and instincts in those early weeks?
• What does it mean to grieve the loss of your pre-parent self while also loving your new role?
• Why is “sleep when the baby sleeps” such frustrating advice for new parents?
• How do you maintain your relationship with your partner when you’re both exhausted and touched out?
• What support systems actually help new parents versus the advice that falls flat?

Questions We Discussed

• How do you balance your own family traditions with extended family expectations during the holidays?
• What happens when grandparents have different ideas about gifts and celebrations than you do?
• How can parents navigate religious holidays when family members have varying levels of observance or belief?
• Should you maintain childhood traditions that no longer align with your values or beliefs?
• What's the best approach to setting boundaries around holiday visits and activities?
• How do you handle the pressure to create "perfect" holiday experiences for your kids?
• When is it okay to skip certain holiday traditions or obligations entirely?
• How can you communicate your parenting choices to family without causing conflict?

Questions We Discussed

• How do we balance keeping kids safe while letting them take necessary risks? The hosts examine the tension between protection and independence, from playground injuries to teenage decision-making.
• What role does failure play in helping children develop resilience? Matthew, Mandy, and Pete discuss why allowing kids to experience disappointment and setbacks is essential for growth.
• How can parents support their children's autonomy without abandoning guidance? The conversation explores the difference between stepping back and checking out, emphasizing presence without control.
• When should parents intervene in their children's challenges versus letting them problem-solve independently? From friendship conflicts to academic struggles, the hosts share their approaches to knowing when to help.
• How do our own childhood experiences shape our parenting decisions about independence? Each host reflects on how their upbringing influences their comfort level with letting go.

Additional Topics

• The "invisible string" concept: staying connected while allowing distance
• Age-appropriate independence and how expectations shift from toddlerhood through adolescence
• Managing parental anxiety when children take risks
• The difference between natural consequences and punitive consequences
• Building trust as the foundation for letting go

In this episode, we discuss:

• What happens when every piece of fabric becomes an emergency burping cloth?
• How do you know when your baby is actually hungry versus just comforted by feeding?
• Why does teaching a teenager to drive feel like an emotional milestone for parents?
• Can you really mess up your baby in the first few weeks, or is anxiety your brain's default setting?
• What credit can parents take when their adult children do extraordinary things?
• When will teenagers naturally start keeping their rooms clean, and why?

In this episode, Matthew shares their unfiltered birth story: the telltale signs Mary initially dismissed, the frantic drive across town, and their first days as a brand-new parent navigating meconium diapers and jaundice.

In this episode, we discuss:

• How do you know when labor is actually starting vs. false alarms?
• What happens when the hospital you planned for is full and you get diverted?
• Why did we choose to find out the baby's sex beforehand?
• What's it really like doing your first diaper changes on a newborn?
• How do you handle the unexpected physical realities of newborn care (meconium, jaundice, temperature regulation)?
• What does it feel like to transition from "future parent" to "current parent"?

Questions we discussed:

• When should you start intentionally watching shows and movies with your children?
• How do streaming services change parenting by eliminating commercial messaging?
• Watching problematic favorites (like John Hughes movies) 
• Why do kids reject movies their parents love, and how should you handle it?
• How does context and first-viewing experience shape our relationship with movies?

Bonus PSA: No popcorn for kids under five—it's a choking hazard.

Matthew, Mandy, and Pete tackle the complexities of modern childbirth: How do you balance trusting medical professionals while still advocating for your preferences? What's it really like compared to what we see in movies? And how do you manage family support that becomes more overwhelming than helpful?

In This Episode:

Matthew reflects on the performative pressure to be the "perfect supportive partner" and introduces the "circles of care" model—where support flows inward while emotional processing happens with people further from the center. Pete shares how his performance anxiety vanished the moment actual labor began.

The conversation also covers the medicalization of childbirth and political pressures around birth choices, post-birth food cravings you dream about for months, coordination tools like MealTrain for postpartum support, traveling with babies while managing family expectations, and the realities of C-sections versus natural birth.

Plus, the hosts address a listener question about managing an 18-year-old camp counselor's inappropriate texts to a 14-year-old camper.

Whether you're weeks away from delivery or years from considering kids, this episode captures the beautiful chaos of preparing for parenthood. Sometimes the best-laid birth plans are just the starting point for the real adventure.

Topics Covered

• When should parents start worrying about their own screen habits around babies and toddlers?
• What's the difference between "good" and "bad" screen time? We examine the spectrum from educational content like Wild Kratts to algorithm-driven platforms like TikTok.
• How do you handle screen time in a community where every family has different rules? The conversation revealed the judgment and awkwardness that comes with navigating other parents' choices – from kids watching violent movies at age 4 to families who use screens as 24/7 babysitters. Finding your own boundaries while respecting community relationships requires constant negotiation.

Ready to dive deeper into parenting challenges? Subscribe to The Once & Future Parent for more honest conversations about raising kids in the modern world.

Topics Covered

• Is baby clothing just an expensive marketing trap? Matthew discovers the harsh reality of baby clothing sizes and seasonal mismatches, while Mandy delivers hard truths about those adorable (but useless) baby sneakers that become mere projectiles for developing motor skills.
• How do you actually choose a name that will last a lifetime?
• Should you tell people your baby name choices before the birth?
• How do cultural and religious traditions influence naming decisions? Matthew shares how his Jewish and Southern family backgrounds created different expectations for honoring relatives, while the group discusses the power dynamics and confidence that come with certain names.
• Can you really predict which names will become popular? Pete explains how their choice of "Sophia" seemed unique until it became one of the most popular names of the 2000s, proving that predicting naming trends is nearly impossible.

The hosts explore the tension between honoring family traditions and creating new approaches that reflect modern understanding of gender, identity, and family dynamics. Matthew shares their decision to reveal biological sex after the baby shower to avoid gendered gifts, and a statement they posted on Facebook about it  (see below), while Pete and Mandy reflect on how they handled similar decisions with their own children.

Topics Covered:

• Navigating cultural differences between families during pregnancy celebrations
• The evolution of gender reveal parties and their social implications
• How language around biological sex and gender identity affects parenting choices
• Dealing with well-meaning family members who may not share your values
• Setting boundaries around gendered gifts and expectations
• How swearing and "adult" language fits into family life
• Choosing what your child will call you as a non-binary parent
• Grandparent naming traditions and family negotiations
• Media representations of first-time parent expectations vs. reality

Hosted by Matthew Fox (Ethical Panda Podcasts), Pete Wright (TrueStory.fm), and Mandy Kaplan (Make Me a Nerd)

Here is the post Matthew put up that they discussed this week.

Ever since Mary Fox McCreary and I let the world know we were expecting we've gotten the same question every about to be parent gets - boy or girl?  Mary and I have known for a while but have declined to answer.  Now that we've had our baby shower (and huge, huge, thanks to everyone who participated, especially the wonderful people who made it happen) we figure it's a good time to answer that question, as well as talk about why we waited till now.

(Note- we know that everyone who asked the question did so out of love and curiosity and we have no judgement whatsoever for that, nor for anyone who does decide to share that information about their pregnancy at any point they choose to. This is just what felt best for us.)

One thing Mary and I have been aware of since we began is that we have no idea what gender our child will be, and we won't until they figure it out for themselves and tell us. Pre-natal testing has told us some of their sex characteristics, and while those have a high correlation to gender, all reputable scientific and medical knowledge tells us that correlation is by no means guaranteed.  And while those initial sex characteristics will influence things like what pronouns we use for our child, we think they are a pretty small part of who our child is going to be, and we don't want to start them off in one box or another. At the baby shower they got dinosaurs and dolls, pink outfits and blue, and we couldn't have been happier. We can't wait to love and raise our child into who they turn out to be, and recognize how little we know about that to begin with. 

So, as for the grand reveal- our child will start its life as a boy, and we will them whatever they turn out to be. We are so touched by all the outpourings of love and support and excitement we've gotten from family and partners and friends, and are excited to share this news with you all.

When does parental influence actually end, and how much control do we really have? The hosts grapple with the tension between accepting limited control and continuing to guide their children through example.

What happens when reality doesn't match the parenting playbook from movies and TV? From purple newborns to the myth of water breaking as labor's dramatic beginning, the hosts discover that media representations of parenting often miss the mark.

Topics Covered

• Late-in-life parenting and aging as a new parent
• The nuclear family model vs. village-style child-rearing
• How childhood trauma and family patterns influence parenting choices
• Postpartum depression and mental health support systems
• The role of media in shaping parenting expectations
• Gender identity and inclusive language in parenting discussions
• Building community and support networks for new parents
• The difference between parenting influence at different child development stages

Hosted by Matthew Fox (Superhero Ethics), Mandy Kaplan (Make Me a Nerd), and Pete Wright from TruStory FM.

Three different parenting stages. Three wildly different perspectives. One shared sense of existential confusion about how any of us are supposed to do this.

Sure, we'll talk about screen time and sleep schedules—but we're really here for the questions nobody prepares you for: How do you help your kid make friends when you don't even know how adults are supposed to make friends? What happens when you realize your kid just outgrew your best parenting trick and you don't have a backup? And how do we avoid repeating the mistakes our parents made? (At least, not all of them. That would be absurd.)

It's thoughtful, emotional, and funny—the stuff we all wish we talked about more often. Because here's the thing: parenting doesn't stop. It just changes costumes.

Subscribe now wherever you get your podcasts, or visit https://trustory.fm/once-and-future-parent.