Not Your Mother's Goose

Secret Bonus Episode: Winnie-the-Pooh, Jack and Jill, The Farmer in the Dell

Topher Goggin — Sat, 12 Aug 2023 16:48:48 -0500

If you needs just one more dose of Not Your Mother's Goose, you're in luck. Back in 2021, we released a secret "bonus" episode for new subscribers to the "Goose Droppings" email list. Now it's going out to the world. Have some hunny with Winnie-the-Pooh, select a wife for the Farmer in the Dell, and fire up Rapunzel's Jukebox with original version of Andrew Mitchell's Rip Van Winkle tune, "Snooze."

The Price Is Right, Old King Cole, Three Blind Mice, and American Pie

Topher Goggin — Tue, 25 Apr 2023 05:00:00 -0500

Not Your Mother's Goose wraps up with a mammoth finale, featuring everything from The Price Is Right to Three Blind Mice, and our most ambitious Rapunzel's Jukebox song ever, American Pie. Don't miss your last chance to:

* Come on down with Bob Barker, as we take a snow day from school and watch The Price Is Right
* Clean up the leftover nursery rhymes, like Three Blind Mice and Old King Cole
* Head to the before-and-after movies to watch The Gingerbread Man-in-Black
* Check out the news, where Oscar the Grouch goes green and moves into a recycling bin
* Schedule a consult with Dr. Rick from Progressive, here to help fairy tale characters who are becoming their parents.

Plus, Andrew Mitchell has officially outdone himself on Rapunzel's Jukebox, back with full fairy tale version of American Pie that you can't miss.

Rapunzel's Jukebox - Behind the Music 3

Topher Goggin — Tue, 04 Apr 2023 05:00:00 -0500

Our next-to-last episode features the return of Andrew Mitchell, back to play all of our hilarious songs from the past years, plus a brand new Herman's Hermits parody, as "Something Good" turns into a Pinocchio tune - "Something Wood."

Songs:
- Hey Mary's Lamb (Carrie Anne by the Hollies)
- Walking to Grandma's (Walking in Memphis by Mark Cohn)
- Wonderland (Margaritaville by Jimmy Buffett)
- Gals in High Places (Friends in Low Places by Garth Brooks)
- Ichabod Crane (Sweet Baby James by James Taylor)
- Willy Wonka (Sugar, Sugar by The Archies)
- Tom Petty Medley (Tree Fallin', I Don't Know How It Feels, The Dating, Rowin' Down a Stream)
- Something Wood (Something Good by Herman's Hermits)

Scooby Doo, Tarzan, Mousetrap, and Rapunzel's Jukebox

Topher Goggin — Tue, 14 Mar 2023 05:00:00 -0500

We'll fire up the Mystery Machine with Scooby Doo and chase some ghosts (and/or cranky middle-aged guys in rubber masks), swing on some vines with Tarzan, and give a 2-star rating for hospitality to the folks from "She'll Be Comin' Around the Mountain." Plus we'll check the news, which is sponsored by the Big Bad Wolf's new meal kit service, Hello Flesh, and fire up a new Tom Petty Medley on Rapunzel's Jukebox.

Batman, Humpty Dumpty, "Woolbrite" and More

Topher Goggin — Tue, 21 Feb 2023 06:00:00 -0600

It's time to rid Gotham City of filth with Bruce Wayne, examine the curious songwriting choices of Rock-a-Bye Baby, and get your sheep white as snow with this week's sponsor, Woolbrite.

Plus:
- Try to help Humpty Dumpty by calling all the King's paramedics
- Examine the classroom game 7-Up to learn why I was so bad at it (Answer: I got CHEATED!!)
- In the news, Mario pays a record littering fine for dropping banana peels and other objects on highways
- In depth analysis of what kind of shoe that Old Woman was living in, including debating if hightops could as two stories

Popeye, Yogi Bear, Uno, and Final Dining Results!

Topher Goggin — Tue, 31 Jan 2023 05:00:00 -0600

How much can we fit into one show? About this much:
* Set sail on the Spinach Seas with Popeye
* Do some work on the railroad with Dinah (and 'someone')
* Pick a loser with Eeny Meeny Miney Mo
* Dump a Wild Draw Four on that loser playing Uno
* In the News, Cinderella's Demolition Derby entry ends poorly when the event runs past midnight
* Get a drink from our latest sponsor, the new liquor store, "Hogsmeade Hooch"
* Rapunzel's Jukebox takes a swing at The Archies
* AND the results of the Tournament of Disney Dining!

The Cat in the Hat, Pinocchi-yoga, Dining Tournament, Rapunzel's Jukebox

Topher Goggin — Tue, 10 Jan 2023 05:00:00 -0600

The Tournament of Disney Dining has been whittled down to the last 8 restaurants - we'll recap the action so far and introduce you to the Plate 8. Also:
- See if we can get one of those Housekeeping Zambonis like the Cat in the Hat
- In the news, Ursula's selection as the keynote speaker for Career Day raises eyebrows
- We'll check out Rogue 101 Dalamatians in a new movie before-and-after
- Jump some candlesticks with Jack Be Nimble
- Andrew Mitchell is back, this time with a guitar instead of a kazoo, to sing a James Taylor parody on Rapunzel's Jukebox

The Grinch, Dance Crazes, and Disney Dining Tourney Kickoff

Topher Goggin — Tue, 20 Dec 2022 05:00:00 -0600

We're back with our final show of 2022, jam packed with all kinds of fun.
* We'll head to Whoville to check in on the Grinch
* In the news, Santa gets stuck in Mario's chimney after a poor decision to eat a mushroom
* Teach kids to say "You're Welcome" in all circumstances with the new Maui on Manners program
* Gastroenterology meets Bug Zappers in "There Was an Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly"
* We'll announce the field and kick off our Tournament of Disney Dining. Did you favorite restaurant make it in?

Super Mario Brothers, Encyclopedia Brown, Magic School Bus

Topher Goggin — Tue, 29 Nov 2022 05:00:00 -0600

It's time to save the Princess with Mario - well, it will be as soon as we take the cartridge out of the Nintendo, blow on it, and put it back in and try again. Go chase down Bowser, and follow it up with:
* A ride on the Magic School Bus
* An Encylopedia Brown Mystery
* In the news: The Tortoise announces his title defense against a sloth in the "Trudge Through the Sludge"
* Pride Rock has a hot new reality show to pick a king, it's goodbye Star Search, hello Scar Search
* Rapunzel's Jukebox tackles Garth Brooks with a live-version parody
* We'll announce the four #1 seeds in our upcoming Tournament of Disney Dining

More Sesame Street, Alice's Restaurant in Wonderland, iStone from Hansel

Topher Goggin — Tue, 08 Nov 2022 05:00:00 -0600

Not Your Mother's Goose returns to Sesame Street, as we find a random episode online and live tweet it (only to have it turn out to be the show with the big Snuffy reveal!) Also:
* Just in time for Thanksgiving, we'll visit Alice's Restaurant in Wonderland.
* In the news: We're off to see the Wizard, but slowly, due to construction on the Yellow Brick Road. Plus Rumpelstiltskin fills in with Penn and Teller.
* Sponsor: The iStone by Hansel - mobile technology to help avoid getting ditched in the woods by your parents.

Sesame Street, Home on the Range, and ... Tecmo Bowl (Why Not?)

Topher Goggin — Tue, 18 Oct 2022 05:00:00 -0500

From the Old West to the AFC West, this episode has a little of everything. Along the way we'll:
* Finish up our PBS afternoon with a visit to Sesame Street.
* Take "Songs Written By Otolaryngologists For 200, Ken" - checking out Home on the Range
* Block a field goal or two with Lawrence Taylor on Tecmo Bowl
* In the news, Disney can't figure why sales are struggling at the apple stand near the Snow White ride
* Just in time for Halloween, the Headless Horseman has opened one of those pop-up costume shops

PBS Pledge Break: Mr. Rogers, Reading Rainbow, Square One, Carmen Sandiego

Topher Goggin — Tue, 27 Sep 2022 05:00:00 -0500

It's time to flip the channel to PBS (and travel back 30 years or so), as we re-live all your childhood favorites.
* Ride the trolley on Mr. Rogers Neighborhood
* Take Levar Burton's word for it on Reading Rainbow
* Join Mathnet to chase crooks with your abacus on Square One
* Chase more crooks (and hope you get the South America map) on Carmen Sandiego

Plus a regular dose of news, and sponsorship from your favorite coffin supply store, "Blood, Bath & Beyond"

Sidekicks Finale, Captain Kangaroo, Hush Little Baby

Topher Goggin — Tue, 06 Sep 2022 06:00:00 -0500

It's Genie vs. Olaf, as we crown a champ in the Tournament of Disney Sidekicks. Tune in to meet the winner, then stay to:
* Spend your morning with Captain Kangaroo, which seems to be what you'd get if you visited your grandpa (who happened be a circus ringmaster with some odd neighbors).
* Get some horrible parenting ideas from the writers of Hush, Little Baby
* Head to the theater to see our latest mashup, the Book of Dumboba Fett
* Check the news, including Mary Poppins and Aladdin collaborating on a flying carpet bag
* Drop a quarter in Rapunzel's Jukebox, home of an all-Wonderland version of Margaritaville.

Tournament of Sidekicks, Alvin and the Chipmunks, Twitter 2.0

Topher Goggin — Tue, 16 Aug 2022 05:00:00 -0500

The NYMG Tournament of Disney Sidekicks rolls on. We're reached the Overlooked 8, and have a full update, plus analysis from our typically clueless "expert" panel. Plus:
* Reaquaint yourself with Alvin and the Chipmunks, one high note at a time.
* News: Disney Hires Ghostbusters to Clean Up Haunted Mansion
* Head to the before-and-after(ish) movies with Wookiee of the Year
* Review Rumpelstiltskin's Twitter feed, with tweets from everyone from Tarzan to Bingo (...was his name-o)

Tournament of Sidekicks, The Flintstones, The Emperor's New Cars

Topher Goggin — Tue, 26 Jul 2022 05:00:00 -0500

The Tournnament of Disney Sidekicks gets underway with the announcement of the field. Plus:
* It's back to Bedrock with the Flintstones, including a reference to the Grand Poobah.
* In the news, Rip Van Winkle gets the nod as new host of the Late Late Show.
* The Emperor takes his clothing technology to the assembly line on the Emperor's New Cars (starring Clark Ramsey)
* Georgie Porgie gets another look, including some speculation about pudding and pie.
* Andrew Mitchell is back with one of his best vocal performances ever on Rapunzel's Jukebox, turning "Walking in Memphis" into " Walking to Grandma's" with Little Red Riding Hood.

Ads Bonanza II

Topher Goggin — Tue, 05 Jul 2022 05:00:00 -0500

It's every fake ad we've done (since the last time we did a show like this), complete with the background stories of how the ideas started and how they got recorded. Here are just a few of the favorites you can hear again for the first time:

· Bitecoin – the Big Bad Wolf’s Cryptocurrency

· Head and Shoulders Knees and Toes – Rapunzel’s Dandruff Shampoo that prevents flakes right down to your ankles

· H&R Croc – Captain Hook’s Tax Prep Folks

· Eeyore: The Musical – Including the showstopping hit, “I Think It’s a Bunion”

TaleSpin, Superman, and True Crime: Not Your Mother's Goons

Topher Goggin — Tue, 14 Jun 2022 05:00:00 -0500

Our three week series on the Disney Afternoon wraps up with TaleSpin - listen now and you won't have to start your homework until after dinner. PLUS:
- The debut of "Not Your Mother's Goons" - our new True Crime series - as we dive deep into the Gingerbread Man
- We check in on the other fairy tale characters named Mary, and Mary Mary Quite Contrary plugs her new lawn care business in an ad.
- In the news, the Great Pumpkin gets busted bulking up with PEDs, and the family of a concussed monkey sues Serta after a bed-jumping incident.

Rescue Rangers, The Three Stooges, "Hey, Mary's Lamb"

Topher Goggin — Tue, 24 May 2022 05:00:00 -0500

The Goose is Loose again, as we continue our trip through the Disney Afternoon with Chip and Dale's Rescue Rangers. Plus:
* In the news, Pac-Man: The Musical struggles, and Dr. Seuss sets a new email record after hiring Spam-I-Am.
* That dude in Daisy, Daisy/A Bicycle Built For Two serves up the worst marriage proposal ever.
* A new segment - Newtonian Fairy Tales
* If you need humor, but booger jokes are touch too sophisticated, our review of the Three Stooges will be right up your alley.
* Rapunzel's Jukebox tackles The Hollies, as "Hey, Carrie Anne" turns into "Hey, Mary's Lamb."

Duck Tales, Ali Baba and the 40 Thieves, Free Wee Willy

Topher Goggin — Tue, 03 May 2022 05:00:00 -0500

We're back with a good, old-fashioned "regular" episode.
* We'll kick off a review of the Disney Afternoon by diving into Scrooge's Money Bin on Duck Tales.
* Ali Baba slowly whittles down 40 thieves to 0 (bring a calculator)
* In the news: Area Man Done Row-Row-Rowing His Boat, Buys An Outboard
* Dr. Seuss moves to the world of financial literacy with the release of Fox In Stocks.
* We award our career achievement prize in athletics to Goofy

Rapunzel's Jukebox - Behind the Music Two (Part 2)

Topher Goggin — Tue, 12 Apr 2022 05:00:00 -0500

It's the second half of our Behind the Music special, with more from Andrew Mitchell. Andrew is back to tell the stories behind four more song parodies, plus deliver a brand new song snippet from Trisha Yearwood. PLUS a major announcement!

Songs:
* "Some Belles Do" ("Some Girls Do" by Sawyer Brown)
* "Red Riding Hood" ("Red Rubber Ball" by The Cyrkle)
* "Ran Away" ("Runaway" by Del Shannon)
* "Meat in the Middle" ("Meet in the Middle" by Diamond Rio)
* "She's in Love with the Boy - Frozen Edition" (Trisha Yearwood)

Rapunzel's Jukebox - Behind the Music Two (Part 1)

Topher Goggin — Tue, 05 Apr 2022 05:00:00 -0500

Resident singer/trombonist/kazooist Andrew Mitchell drops by for a two-part episode, looking at all our favorite parody songs from the past year, plus a brand new tune. Get the inside scoop about:

- Mary With The Little Lamb (I'm Henry VII, I Am)
- Runaround You (Runaround Sue)
- Pride Rock, Pride Rock (New York, New York)
- Dress Me, Drape Me (Bend Me, Shape Me)
- Bad Bad Captain Hook (Bad Bad Leroy Brown)
- Mother Goose (Penny Lane)
- NEW: Wake Up Sleeping Beauty (Wake Up Little Susie)

Gilligan's Island, The Hokey Pokey, Phantom Menace of the Opera

Topher Goggin — Tue, 15 Mar 2022 07:09:14 -0500

It's a true potpourri show, with a little of everything. Such as:
- Gilligan's Island
- The Hokey Pokey (including its, uh, interesting names in other countries)
- Everything you wanted to know about pie (ask LIttle Jack Horner)
- Broadway Before-and-After with Star Wars: The Phantom Menace of the Opera
- A Fairy Tale Typo worthy of an immature 8th grader
- Breaking News, including Old McDonald dominating FarmVille

Crime Fighters Bonanza - Inspector Gadget, TMNT, Dick Tracy

Topher Goggin — Tue, 22 Feb 2022 05:30:00 -0600

It's the NYMG Crime Fighting Special, complete with:
* Inspector Gadget (featuring a terrible Dr. Claw impression)
* Dick Tracy (Inspector Gadget's predecessor, with fashion by Big Bird)
* Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, including a debate about whether the original Donatello sculpted with bo staff
* News coverage, including Impossible Foods new plant-based Road Runner
* Rapunzel's Jukebox: Andrew Mitchell tackles a Diamond Rio hit to bring Little Tommy Tucker to the airwaves

Corduroy, Little Miss Mullet, Rapunzel's Jukebox, Disney Rides Champ,

Topher Goggin — Tue, 01 Feb 2022 04:00:00 -0600

We'll name the winner in the Tournament of Disney Rides presented by World of Walt, as either Rise of the Resistance or Haunted Mansion claim the crown. Then we'll remember the story of Corduroy, and write up our first Fairy Tale Typo, Little Miss Mullet.

Plus:
* News: Flynn Rider Competes on American Gladiators, and Captain Nemo signs on for Rub-a-Dub-Dub, Three Men In a Sub
* Climb the clock with Hickory Dickory Dock (which apparently has a secret verse about a snake?)
* Andrew Mitchell is back on Rapunzel's Jukebox, singing our new version of Del Shannon's Runaway Little Miss Muffet and Georgie Porgie.

Old Mother Hubbard, Little Red Robin Hood, More Tournament of Rides

Topher Goggin — Tue, 11 Jan 2022 04:00:00 -0600

The Tournament of Disney Rides presented by World of Walt is down to its final two attractions, and we've got all the info. We'll hear from Herb Leibacher from World of Walt (recorded IN Epcot), break down the voting, and preview the finals between Rise of the Resistance and Haunted Mansion. Plus:
- Old Mother Hubbard
- Twinkle Twinkle Little Star meets Baa Baa Black Sheep meets the ABCs meets ... Mozart?
- Movie Before and After(ish): Little Red Robin Hood
- The New Sure-Win Forest Fairy Tale Sports Betting Site

More Tournament of Rides, Ratatouille, Frosty and Rudolph, and Rapunzel's Jukebox

Topher Goggin — Tue, 21 Dec 2021 05:00:00 -0600

Not Your Mother's Goose is back just in time for Christmas, with Frosty, Rudolph, and a massive update in the Tournament of Disney Rides. We've narrowed the field to the final 16 (VOTE NOW at notyourmothersgoose.com!), and we've got all the breakdowns and analysis your MagicBand can handle. Plus:
* In the news, Peloton Releases It's New In-House Flying Carpet, plus The Beast Is Named Grand Marshal of the Rose Parade (he can bring his own rose)
* We'll scamper around Paris with Remy from Ratatouille
* Andrew Mitchell is back on Rapunzel's Jukebox, as The Cyrkle's "Red Rubber Ball" turns into "Red Riding Hood"

Tournament of Rides, A Christmas Carol, Finding Captain Nemo

Topher Goggin — Tue, 30 Nov 2021 02:00:00 -0600

We introduce the 40-attraction field in our new Tournament of Disney Rides presented by World of Walt, and kick off voting in the Magic Kingdom Bracket. Plus:
* Just in time for the Holidays, we'll see how Scrooge McGoose is coping with his visit from Marley.
* In the news, Georgie Porgie guests on "Days of Our Lives," and Bugs Bunny launches his telemedicine service, "What's Up Doc?"
* Why hire Goldman Sachs when you can get investment help from the fairy tale experts, Gold-In-Sacks?
* We'll head to the theater for another movie before-and-after, "Finding Captain Nemo."

The Sorcerer's Apprentice, Home Alone, Cinderella's Autocorrect

Topher Goggin — Tue, 09 Nov 2021 06:00:00 -0600

We'll do a plumbing project with Mickey Mouse in the Sorcerer's Apprentice, update our homeowners insurance policy with Home Alone, and check the news, where Shere Khan has signed on with the Forest Service as the voice of new fire prevention campaign. We'll also check all of your best Fairy Tale Typos, from "Little Miss Mullet" to "Jack Splat" to "Snow White and the Seven Doors" (featuring Snow's marathon run on Let's Make a Deal). Finally, Andrew Mitchell is back to fire up Rapunzel's Jukebox, bringing us back to the 90's with a Sawyer Brown song revisited as "Some Belles Do."

The Oregon Trail, Little Miss Muffet, "Mulan Rouge!"

Topher Goggin — Tue, 19 Oct 2021 00:01:00 -0500

Head to Matt's General Store, buy some supplies, and head out on the Oregon Trail. (Remember, don't ford the river just because the average depth is 3 feet.) In the news, Scrooge McDuck becomes the latest billionaire headed to space, and London Bridge collapsed on a troll when a jumbo billy goat crosses. Plus Little Miss Muffet, Tom Tom The Piper's Son, and the new crossover movie, "Mulan Rouge!"

Villains Champion, Tangled, NHL Comes to Arendelle

Topher Goggin — Tue, 28 Sep 2021 02:00:00 -0500

Get the full recap of the thrilling final round of the Tournament of Villains. Maleficent and Scar exchanged the lead 10 times and the final margin was just 6 votes (out of nearly 500). We'll also take a look at Tangled and This Little Piggy and have news coverage of the NHL's expansion to Arendelle and Rudolph's new compact fluorescent nose. The Big Bad Wolf has a new home improvement store named "Blowe's," and Andrew Mitchell is back with a new Rapunzel's Jukebox parody, reworking the citizens of Penny Lane into Mother Goose characters.

Tournament of Villains Finals, Dumbo, H&R Croc

Topher Goggin — Mon, 06 Sep 2021 19:01:08 -0500

The NYMG Tournament of Disney Villains has nearly crowned it's Baddest of All-Time, as we've reach our final two: Maleficent vs. Scar. It's bitter sorceress vs. fratricidal lion for all the marbles. Our expert panel will break it down, including analysis from our own "Sir Charles" (who may or may not be four years old). To vote in the finals, visit: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/villains-finals

Also on this episode:
* Take flight with Dumbo to learn about the placebo effect
* The Count takes over as host of American Top 40
* Iron Chef is back, including new Iron Chef Canned Goods, Chef Boyardee
* Movie Before and After: Batman and Robin Hood
* EVERYTHING you could possibly want to know about The Muffin Man (a fairly short segment)

Tournament of Villains Semis, Willy Wonka, "Bad Bad Captain Hook"

Topher Goggin — Tue, 17 Aug 2021 08:21:05 -0500

Full Episode Segment Summary:
- Intro
- Villains Voting Results and Announcement of Semis
- News (Including Curious George getting arrested for chasing weasels, and the Geico Gecko being hired to replace Gordon Gekko)
- Mr. Toad's Wild Ride (i.e. The Wind in the Willows)
- Villains Tournament, ahem, "Expert" Panel (including discussion of whether Gaston was hampered by too much fast twitch muscle)
- Rapunzel's Jukebox: "Bad Bad Captain Hook" by Andrew Mitchell

Tournament of Villains Round 2, Little Tommy Tucker, Sleeping Beauty and the Beast

Topher Goggin — Tue, 27 Jul 2021 14:00:00 -0500

The top seeds join the fray as our Tournament of Villains hits the Evil Eight. Then we'll check on Little Tommy Tucker's search for cutlery, mashup "Sleeping Beauty and the Beast" (including terrifying new villain "Malefiston of the Magic Biceps"), learn of David Copperfield's Made-for-TV escape from Rapunzel's Tower, and dial up and Emperor's New Clothes tune on Rapunzel's Jukebox.

Tournament of Villains, Peter and the Wolf, "Pride Rock, Pride Rock"

Topher Goggin — Tue, 06 Jul 2021 13:00:00 -0500

Tune in for the first round of our new Tournament of Villains, including tongue-in-cheek analysis from our "expert" panel, then cast your votes for the baddest of the bad. (The first round matchup of #3 seed Captain Hook vs. the Queen of Hearts looks like a barn burner.) We'll also take a look at Peter and the Wolf, learn about Gonzo's win on America's Got Talent, and rev up Rapunzel's Jukebox as Andrew Mitchell puts a Sinatra twist on "Pride Rock, Pride Rock."

Lady and the Tramp, Mary Had a Little Lamb, Fairy Tale eBay

Topher Goggin — Tue, 15 Jun 2021 13:00:00 -0500

We'll slurp up the spaghetti with Lady and the Tramp, investigate Mary Had a Little Lamb with Henry Ford (seriously), and search the eBaby listings where Donald Duck is selling a collection of pants (apparently unused). We'll also try another movie before-and-after with 'A Few Good Men in Tights,' and check in on Humpty Dumpty's new partnership with Aflac.

The Wizard of Oz, Green Eggs and Ham, Sheriffs, and Runaround You

Topher Goggin — Tue, 25 May 2021 13:00:00 -0500

We'll fight off the summer construction on the Yellow Brick Road to go see the Wizard, check out the world of fairy tale Sheriffs, and check the latest "news" including Dumbo signing to fly in circles at Busch Gardens as a free agent. Andrew Mitchell is back with another Rapunzel's Jukebox song, as Dion meet the Tortoise and the Hare in "Runaround You."

Special Episode! Sponsor Smorgasbord

Topher Goggin — Tue, 04 May 2021 13:00:00 -0500

We're back with another special edition, and it's all commercials! But don't worry, these are the good kind of commercials — all of the commercials we've done for our made-up fairy tale sponsors, plus the stories behind them. They're all here, from the Harry Potty series of toilet training books to your chance to get matched with Wee Willie Winkie on the "Heaps of Frogs" fairy tale dating site, and from the personal injury lawyer to the fairy tale stars (he got Humpty Dumpty $500K) to Stone Cold Snow White's appearance at Wrestlemania.

Mary Poppins, The Mr. Men, Frere Jacques Wins Gold In Competitive Sleeping

Topher Goggin — Tue, 13 Apr 2021 13:00:00 -0500

Load up your umbrellas and fly off to England, as we check out Mr. Banks' online review of Mary Poppins' nannying skills (spoiler: he's not impressed). We'll meet everyone from Mr. Noisy to Little Miss Happy, find out about Sheriff Woody's tough re-election campaign against Barney Fife, and see if we can make "I'm Henry the Eighth, I Am" even sillier with a new parody song on Rapunzel's Jukebox.

Special Episode! Rapunzel's Jukebox

Topher Goggin — Tue, 23 Mar 2021 13:00:00 -0500

It's a special edition of Not Your Mother's Goose, highlighting all the hilarious parody songs from the show, plus an interview with show singer Andrew Mitchell (where we learn that he is actually the son of "King Kazoo"). We've also got a brand new song to complete our Beach Boys tandem, as we've turned Little Deuce Coupe into a tune about Little Bo Peep and her fellow fairy tale shepherds.

101 Dalmatians, Old McDonald, Tom Thumb and Thumbelina

Topher Goggin — Tue, 09 Mar 2021 13:00:00 -0600

We'll answer all your questions about 101 Dalmatians, including whether Cruella's clueless henchmen might have been related to the Wet Bandits from Home Alone. Then we'll try to figure out whether it's Old McDonald or Old MacDonald, take a closer look at Tom Thumb and Thumbelina, and head to Wrestlemania where Stone Cold Snow White drops the Candy Apple Catnap on Ronda Rowsey and The Rock battles Gaston. Plus Rapunzel's Jukebox tackles the Beach Boys, as Cinderella has Fun Fun Fun 'til its midnight and it all goes away.

Cinderella, Goldilocks and the Three Bears, The Little Red Hen

Topher Goggin — Tue, 02 Feb 2021 13:00:00 -0600

We start with the granddaddy of all fairy tales, as we load up the pumpkin for a carriage ride with Cinderella. Then we'll bust into the bears house with Goldilocks, bake with the Little Red Hen, and listen a group of "real" people frantically try to tell Jack and the Beanstalk with no time to think through how the story goes. We'll also meet the world's premiere fairy tale personal injury lawyer (he got Humpty Dumpty $500k), and fire up Rapunzel's Jukebox for a Rick Roll.

Episode 10: Alice in Wonderland, Rip Van Winkle, and Disney Parks "News"

Topher Goggin — Tue, 22 Dec 2020 13:00:00 -0600

We'll get the ins and outs of Alice and Wonderland by checking out Alice's, uh, "Wikipedia" page, learn that the Bremen Town Musicians were actually and animal-based Neighborhood Watch that didn't make it to Bremen (who knew?), and snooze with Rip Van Winkle. Real Disney blogger Herb from "World of Walt" makes a guest appearance with some definitely not real Disney news, and NBC reboots The Golden Girls in the world of fairy tales.

Episode 9: The Three Little Pigs, The Jungle Book, The Sword in the Stone

Topher Goggin — Tue, 15 Dec 2020 13:00:00 -0600

The Big Bad Wolf returns to wreak havoc on the Three Little Pigs, Mowgli tours the animal kingdom in the Jungle Book, and we'll find England a new king via the Sword in the Stone. We'll also have some stone soup, check out Paul Bunyan's new Big and Tall Shop, and get the Little Red Hen some "Help" with Andrew Mitchell on Rapunzel's Jukebox.

Episode 8 - Rapunzel, Rumpelstiltskin, The Princess and the Pea

Topher Goggin — Tue, 08 Dec 2020 13:00:00 -0600

It's tower time - we'll climb the stairs with Rapunzel and try to spin up some gold with the miller's daughter in Rumpelstiltskin. Try to get a good snooze with the Princess and the Pea, but if you can't sleep, you'll be able to fire up your phone and scroll through Humpty Dumpty's Facebook News Feed.

Episode 7: Snow White, Sleeping Beauty, Little Red Riding Hood

Topher Goggin — Tue, 17 Nov 2020 09:20:50 -0600

It's a nap-friendly episode, with both Snow White and Sleeping Beauty snoozing along. Then we'll learn about John Henry, walk to grandma's with Little Red Riding Hood, and take a crash course in how to give-a-dog-a-bone with a Masterclass in Knick Knack. Finally, Andrew Mitchell returns on Rapunzel's Jukebox, with a folksy ode to the bad guys called 'Will Villains Ever Win?"

Episode 6: Little Mermaid, Fox & the Hound, Aladdin

Topher Goggin — Tue, 17 Nov 2020 09:18:30 -0600

Join us under the sea to hear the real story about the Little Mermaid, or above ground to revisit the Fox the Hound, or in the sky to connect with the true Aladdin. Plus, hear about Little Red Riding Hood's new movie deal and other news you can't use.

Episode 5: Beauty & the Beast, a Moon Jumping Cow, Georgie Porgie, Hansel & Gretel

Topher Goggin — Tue, 17 Nov 2020 09:12:23 -0600

Connect with the couch potato physique of Beast (as in Beauty & the Beast), follow the Hansel and Gretel breadcrumb trail, hear an update on Georgie Porgie's season of the Bachelor, and revisit the seemingly impossible feat of the cow jumping over the moon.

Episode 4: Elsa & Anna, the Ant & the Grasshopper, Billy Goats, and an Emperor with no Clothes.

Topher Goggin — Tue, 17 Nov 2020 06:14:09 -0600

Where else can you check in with Elsa & Anna, the Ant and the Grasshopper, three Billy Goats (and a Troll), and an emperor with no pants? Nowhere other than Topher Goggin's fourth episode of Not Your Mother's Goose.

Episode 3: Peter, Gingerbread and Sleepy Hollow

Topher Goggin — Tue, 17 Nov 2020 06:04:02 -0600

Take a ride with the Headless Horseman in Sleepy Hollow, whiff the dust in Neverland with Peter Pan, and pay a visit to the Gingerbread Man. Plus, you don't want to miss the news about Elsa's ebay listings.

Episode 2: Pinocchio, Bambi & the Pied Piper

Topher Goggin — Tue, 17 Nov 2020 05:55:11 -0600

Parents everywhere can feel good about their parenting skills when they hear the real story of Pinocchio. Plus, we'll visit Bambi in the woods and catch up with the Pied Piper.

Episode 1: Jack, Robin, Tortoise (and Hare)

Topher Goggin — Tue, 17 Nov 2020 05:48:10 -0600

This inaugural episode, brought to you by the new Harry Potty potty training guide, includes retold fairy tale classics Robin Hood, The Tortoise and the Hare, Jack & the Beanstalk, plus news you can't use.