No Crying In Baseball

Loose and Crackly

NCiB — Tue, 12 May 2026 12:00:00 -0400

Tarik may have had loose bodies removed from his elbow but Patti’s pitching flock remains in shambles. Our boyfriends are getting beaned, sometimes by the aforementioned flock member. We don’t care for it, and yet what happened to warnings? Pottymouth catches us up on her overabundance of catchers. Shea has Dad Power. JJ hits an inside the park grand slam and laments the running. Patti relates. It turns out, at the one-quarter season mark, that we are terrible about predicting where teams will be in the standings but not so bad about identifying individual stand-out players. Pottymouth digs deeper around the self-deportation of Humberto Federico Cruz-Guajardo. Patti wants you to read this article in Andscape putting the importance of the new owners of the Padres into the context of who has power and what that means. We invite you into WPBL player Brittany Apgar's public conversation about DIY solutions to protecting the nub. And finally, we crosstrain with souvenir beverage delivery systems. Beer skates, anyone?

We say, “left hip inflammation screams ‘old guy’,” “a dunkel in the fridge,” and “it doesn’t seem like a cap someone who likes baseball would wear.” Fight the man, go see some live baseball, send your game balls to Meredith,, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Super Helpful for the Mental

NCiB — Tue, 05 May 2026 12:00:00 -0400

We have streaks, and streaks that have been struck, and hello new guy, and some monster home runs fueled by quesadillas. Patti preps you for collective bargaining which should start Any Day Now. And she wants you to do some homework by reading this piece in the Athletic if you want to get all caught up. Pottymouth gets all Alice in Wonderland with the Phils firing their manager and is Mattingly 110 yet? We cross train with national anthems and the NHL and a pretty meaningful O Canada moment. The Women’s Baseball World Cup qualifiers were great for Canada and not so much for Puerto Rico – next stop Rockford. Congrats to some DC Girls Baseball stars heading to the Maria Pepe series in Williamsport. Lastly, the Miami Grand Prix tells the Brooklyn Cyclones I see your hot dog jog and raise you caviar and gold flakes. Patti cheated on NCiB with another podcast. Check her out on the Daily Deuce. Video and everything.

We say, “He talks like Cody Bellinger looks,” “Let’s hope that all works out with the purple coat,” and, “more ridiculous hot dog news.” Fight the man, go see some live baseball, send your game balls to Meredith,, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Purge, Refill, Repeat

NCiB — Tue, 28 Apr 2026 12:00:00 -0400

Is it the rant on the Boston massacre or an overview of the Cyclones’ Weenie Weekend? Take your pick, we’ve got both. Buckle up, Pottymouth has takes. Adley is back and he brought his bat, James spoils a debut, and Ben MacDonald has a UFO moment. The Mexico Series brought a split for SD and ARI, and a big win for local kids with a huge free baseball clinic and Play Ball benefits. Patti highlights MLB’s surprisingly good sustainability work including team awards announced on Earth Day. We’re concerned about the health effects of consuming processed meat and running of laps yet we can’t look away. And NYY hit the slippery slope of first we can have facial hair so now we’re asking for navy blue.

We say, “New York does sh*t right – I can’t believe I said that out loud,” “butter delivery system,” and “the As don’t have a city to connect with.” Fight the man, go see some live baseball, send your game balls to Meredith,, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Pope-a-Palooza

NCiB — Tue, 21 Apr 2026 12:00:00 -0400

In which we consider the logistics of the CWS-branded pope hat giveaway. Are they inappropriate? Are they too tall to see over? What are the optics if pope hat-wearing fans brawl? Alas, it’s not for us to determine first hand, but we do get in an inadvertent “holy crap.” In the boyfriend report we find both bombs and f-bombs where Sal is concerned, We celebrate the turnaround of slow starts by Nick, Connor, and Josh. The former boyfriend word of the way is “Pokikémon.” You’re welcome. It’s a low bar when we celebrate flipping off fans over homophobic slurs but here we are. Alby takes it on the chin and still goes to work. We ponder the barrier- and record-breaking sale of the Padres and its implications for collective bargaining. We help you feel better about having done your taxes – at least you’re not filing 20 state returns and factoring in those 8 days you worked in Canada.

We say, “De-escalate and then you can have a block party,” “Exas-pergasted,” and “everything is coming up Pottymouth.” Fight the man, go see some live baseball, send your game balls to Meredith,, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Disco, but in a Good Way

NCiB — Tue, 14 Apr 2026 12:00:00 -0400

It's the episode you didn’t know you needed. Patti and the Pottymouth review all eight new City Connect uniforms at one time. A+ for Baltimore and San Diego, who are both two for two (if we round up). The Os design leans hard into what makes Camden Yards great and an understanding of the importance of neighborhood. The Pads celebrate their bi-national city by embracing multiple cultures as well as the history of the team and the city, and inviting you to do the same. Many of the new looks have their charms but we’re not sold – with the caveat that if we were *from* those places we might feel differently. Cincinnati went with the thought that folks might wear 1.0 and 2.0 in the same Christmas card photo so they should go together. Pottymouth points out that if they are going to call back to the vests, just give us the vests. The Atlanta blue is a terrific throwback but they lost us with honoring a cable station. Patti likes the MIL grill logo cap and Pottymouth likes the colors, but tell us the truth, is “Wisco” a thing? We are thumbs up on the Royals whether you call the colors bi-pride or fuschia, and the white and throwback R are working for us. We are mixed on the wavy crown. We like that PIT went pirate-y, but did they go Pittsburgh-y? TEX gets the fail by basically incorporating All Lives Matter into jersey form. We’re all the same!

In boyfriend news, the C’s are both raking and staying awake. Ronny walks it off, Drake is raking, and Cam gets called up to Patti’s team. Miggy Ro and the Lowes are playing through loss. Ichiro’s record and his bat were broken in the same week. The PWHL sells out another Garden, and Boston is embracing the Fleet in all the best ways.

We say, “Bring back the biceps,” “less catching of the aforementioned f&*ing ball,” and “I love sportsing.” Fight the man, go see some live baseball, send your game balls to Meredith,, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Maybelle Blair Brought Out the Sun

NCiB — Tue, 07 Apr 2026 12:00:00 -0400

Drake Baldwin got mentioned in the same sentence as Henry Aaron, and Pottymouth invited Justin Crawford’s mom for vegan cheesesteaks. Carter overslept, Matt got salty, and Chase got the singalong started. We didn’t call it Police Blotter, but Jo robbed three home runs in one game. There’s a Boston Archdiocese smackdown over corned beef and Fenway Franks, while in New York the PWHL is selling out the Garden. We check in on the ABS challenge system and look forward to next year’s Women’s Baseball World Cup. And we keep adding tabs to the Epic Road Trip Google Sheet.

We say, “We’re out of opening days,” “Obama’s basketball court,” and “It tastes as smokey as I sound.” Fight the man, go see some live baseball, send your game balls to Meredith,, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Bad at Math, Good at Superstition

NCiB — Tue, 31 Mar 2026 12:00:00 -0400

Join us as we try not to overreact to the small sample size that is Opening Weekend. The kids are definitely alright – rookie BFs Sal, Justin, Chase, and JJ are doing us proud. Dom hits a grand slam that hits especially hard, and Freddie hugs it out. The police blotter features LAD making a bad decision in fan relations, mom and dad making some allegedly bad decisions in money management, the CWS deciding not to consult with Frank, and the mayor of Cincinnati deciding to skip town on Opening Day and turn an overcrowding situation into ammunition. There are more Opening Days world-wide, and international baseball features some former bfs. The Fun Cup is back and we’re all for the Worms. We’re making plans for ballpark food for the epic road trip. Send us your recommendations!

We say, “We get you, Mom Wetherholt,” “Whatever you order, get two,” and “I like that you round up on Seder.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

A Labor of Love

NCiB — Tue, 24 Mar 2026 12:00:00 -0400

Welcome to the 10th season of No Crying in Baseball! We appreciate those of you who have been with us since the beginning, those we’ve collected along the way, and we welcome you who are just joining in. It’s also the week of our favorite national holiday, Opening Day. That means it is time for our terrible predictions. You will see no bias for or against any particular teams as we give you our best guesses as to pennants and the post season, as well as the major awards. The prediction we do almost always get right is our pick for teams that are fun to watch. Pottymouth picked the As for the AL as “young kids in Sacramento who DGAF” while Patti says the Royals for Team Italy plus Bobby. We agree on SD for the NL fun team for WBC joy plus the addition of Nick Castellanos, or as we say, the guy with two buttons undone but it feels like more. Pottymouth celebrates her successful, not at all terrible, prediction of Venezuela taking the WBC, and provides a wrap on the tournament. Patti preps you for the new MLB season with a taste of the new rules being tested in the minors this season, with a side of geometry. The league gets further into bed with sports gambling, this time with an added layer of Facist in Chief, Jr. The WPBL visits Fenway South, the WNBA’s new CBA provides a major salary correction, and you too can own some WBC history. This episode was powered by the Day After Chachos, where tastes are actually shots and cause bad math to happen. Order yours here.

We say, “I distracted you with facism again,” “This is actually a good pick based on research not just on Chachos,” and “It does just take a little while of having a rule to figure out the work-arounds.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Not Just the Espresso Boys

NCiB — Tue, 17 Mar 2026 12:00:00 -0400

We love the WBC so much and it’s not just for the espresso shot cellies or the hair that goes poof when a batting helmet comes off, but it could be. We are dismayed at the military overtones that Team USA embraces, and are pretty peeved about a specific Navy Seal brought in to the clubhouse to hype up the guys. On the other hand the young guys are fun to watch. We love the DR spirit – take a look at this Player’s Tribune piece by Tatis, Jr. After that Team Venezuela upset Patti is feeling good about that Wilyer Abreu pick. We are almost at Opening Day so we’ve got our fantasy starting lineups selected from weeks of boyfriend selections, plus our pitching flocks – BOS for Pottymouth and DET for Patti. Eugenio Suarez tells the Cincinnati Enquirer about some immigration realities and the Reds seem to be proactive in protecting their players. Anyone else? And there’s some World Cup cross training that raises more questions than it answers.

We say, “there’s fun before bedtime,” “I keep saying the word ‘scrappy’ in my head,” and “We will be the first to say I told you so and f*(# off.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

So Much Sportswatching

NCiB — Tue, 10 Mar 2026 12:00:00 -0400

The World Baseball Classic is testing the limits of our attention spans and our channel surfing. We are loving the father-son stories, the espresso shots, the real estate agents, the moms and high school kids, and all the Kims, and are wondering where the politics went. In our last boyfriend week, we bring you our picks for the Blue Jays and the Brewers. We found two more kids who wanted their dads to play for TOR, one wanting to stay and one picking them first among 30. For MIL, we look to a former Red Sox and a current Team Canada player. Our police blotter looks at how multiyear contracts may make PEDs worth the risk – is that what Jurickson Profar found? And we crosstrain with the Seattle Rugby Club as they join #rugbyforall to counter USA Rugby’s new transphobic policy.

We say “She’s gonna pick a bird,” “the clickah circuit,” and “suck it, Draftkings.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

A Little More Hubba Bubba

NCiB — Tue, 03 Mar 2026 12:00:00 -0500

It’s our second to last boyfriend week of the off-season so we’ve got some Yankees and some Phillies to talk about. For NYY, All signs pointed to Jorbeet in Orbeet for Pottymouth, and how could Patti resist a big man who can fly and cook? Pottymouth dives into a next gen situation for the Phils and Patti follows an unusual, if dope, path to the Show. Harrison Bader signs a food truck and Brooke lobbies for her dad’s spot on the Jays. We crosstrain with some college hoops players to the rescue and a super-iffy World Cup environment. There’s just no way to untangle the politics from the World Baseball Classic so we’re just putting it all out there. And Patti’s Olympic hockey rant almost gets derailed by the dropping of literal bombs, but not quite. Don’t forget to let us know if you want in on the fantasy league or want to meet us in Kansas City!

We say, “Who knew the rabbit hole was wide enough for the two of us,” “This is my third Venezuelan in a row,” and “4000% alcohol by volume.” “Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Hey New Guy, I don’t Even Know What Team You’re On

NCiB — Tue, 24 Feb 2026 12:00:00 -0500

That’s right, spring training games have started and we’re getting alerts about players we don’t know. First though, we’ve got a legit scandal crossed with police blotter and wrapped in labor. Pottymouth is already a man down with her ARI boyfriend heading over to B’more. New boyfriends this week are from SEA and LAD. For the Mariners, Pottymouth picks the army brat who is always prepared, and Patti goes for the Cleveland kid with a shared love of Kenny Lofton. We dug deep for Dodgers, with Pottymouth selecting sexy defense with uncanny timing, and Patti picking the oldest of three brothers from the city of brotherly love. We’re keeping an eye on the barnstorming rumors for the WPBL. We’d like MLB to consider some equity measures in their umpire promotion system, please. Teams are warming up for the WBC as long as they can jump through the travel hoops. And we wrap up with some giveaway swag you might want to get in line for. Finally, your hosts make good on donations to counter the bad behavior of players on teams that matter to us. Pottymouth donated to Sojourner House and Rosie’s Place for Aroldis Chapman Red Sox saves, and Patti donated to Baltimore Safe Haven in order to root for a US Gold Medal Women’s Hockey team with Britta Curl-Salemme on the roster. You are welcome to join us in these donations if you are so moved.

We say, “Forget Disneyworld, Drag Brunch is the happiest place on earth,” “It’s just too close to a severed finger,” and “C’mon, his name is Mayo, why is there not a condiment shirt?” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Six Degrees of Bad Bunny

NCiB — Tue, 17 Feb 2026 12:00:00 -0500

You can keep your Kevin Bacon, we are practically related to Bad Bunny. I mean, we stood next to Ronald Acuña Jr once and he was in the casita so here we are. Nick is off to unbutton his jersey in San Diego, where they also are not a beer league. Kiké continues his one year at a time pace with the LAD. Players have another winning season over owners in the “stupid” arbitration system. It’s a three hamate week (that’s a bone just west of Detroit). Pottymouth is very excited that we’ve reaced Boston week and introduces us to New Guy. Patti takes Mr. Pottymouth’s sloppy seconds. For the Cubs, Pottymouth picks the guy who hit his first home run to Anthony Rizzo in the bleachers, and Patti thinks why not a jaguar? It’s a wrap for winter ball and plans are already in play for next year. Police Blotter continues to just get worse, and Patti swears a lot but its okay because she’s just quoting other people about the salary cap. Patti owes $10 in US Women’s Hockey money to Baltimore Safe Haven so far, and you can too.

We say, “I feel like ‘scrappy’ comes up more if your glamour height is 5’9”,” “He had me at Pedroia,” and “I’m the only one who could see the lack of bulge.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

The Scorecard Said Rojo and I’m Looking at Verde

NCiB — Tue, 10 Feb 2026 12:00:00 -0500

It was a visually confusing finale for Serie del Caribe what with the Mexico on Mexico naming convention not matching the jersey situation. And then no jerseys to be had because, well, tariffs. In other major international tournament news, when it rains it tropical storms for Puerto Rico. Here’s looking at you, Javy, with hindsight as 20-20 vision. Check if your favorite players actually made it through the gauntlet to a WBC roster. Here at home we’re picking boyfriends from Cities where Patti has lived a significant number of years. Her hometown CLE team offers Pottymouth a Bad Bunny connection and Patti a wildcard upstart. Pottymouth finally found her way to player she has been considering for years, and Patti goes for Salvy’s shadow. We’re keeping score with arbitration and Skubal’s record setting win still only counts as one. So tired of talking about sports betting in the Police Blotter but here we are with Yasiel Puig and Emmanuel Clase. Again. Still. Hey think about meeting us at the Negro Leagues Baseball Museum on Saturday, August 22. We can catch a game, too!

We say, “Absolutely no one doesn’t love Salvy.” “Was it a Bad Bunny rabbit hole?” and “You said Book ‘em Danno and Danno booked ‘em.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Hi, Your Son is My Boyfriend

NCiB — Tue, 03 Feb 2026 12:00:00 -0500

This is not the first time we’ve selected baseball boyfriends because of their moms, but this may be the first time we’ve concocted a plan to bring them beer in person. This week we talk HOU and NYM. For the Astros, Pottymouth picks the mom in the stands reminding him to run and Patti chooses the mom in the clubhouse. For the Mets its Pottymouth goes for the mom who just wants both boys to have a great time and Patti the one who could watch her kid every single day playing ball. Two fatal shootings by Feds in Minnesota push the sports and business communities to take a stand at the organizational level, the NBPA adds their collective voice, and our patron saint provides context. Serie del Caribe is just getting started and we are on Yadi watch for the LVBP. We try to suss out the insurance rules keeping certain MLB players out of the World Baseball Classic. In a Police Blotter/cross training/cross over, Patti commits $10 per goal scored by Britta Curl-Salemme to Baltimore Safe Haven so that she can still cheer for US Women’s Olympic Hockey. Hilary and Laila deserve better than a transphobic teammate in this historic year. And we encourage the NHL to use some of its financial gains from the Heated Rivalry effect to make hockey a safer space for all.

We say, “I thought pitchforks in this town were only brandished at Council meetings,” “How big can Ozark be, really?” and “It is, in fact, color coded.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Quality, Post-Shoveling Resuscitation

NCiB — Tue, 27 Jan 2026 12:00:00 -0500

Patti and the Pottymouth warm up with some baseball talk and hot toddies after attempting to shovel the snowcrete encrusting our respective sidewalks. We profile players from Detroit and Cincinnati, stops on our still theoretical epic midwestern summer road trip. For Detroit, Pottymouth goes for bounce in the clubhouse and Patti leans into small town kid makes good. In Cincinnati, Pottymouth picks an energizer bunny/family man and Patti selects a utility player who grew up in Angels stadium. We appreciate PCA demonstrating excellent cross-training tendencies and celebrate José Ramírez locking in the Guardians for life. Winter ball demonstrates that more teams need dogs and Pottymouth loves to say “Anzoátegui.” And no episode can go by without a reference to a salary cap. Please help shovel out your neighbors and build some community in the process.

We say, “Tito tells me to do something, I’m there,” “the takeaway here is more teams need dogs,” and, “I did the bare minimum, including breaking my ergonomic snow shovel.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

A Healthy, Clean-Living, Mood Enhancer

NCiB — Tue, 20 Jan 2026 12:00:00 -0500

No, we don’t mean us, we mean the PWHL, where Patti crosstrained with their “Takeover Tour” and helped set an attendance record for US women’s hockey this weekend. Our bfs this week, from Kansas City and San Francisco, are all all young guys doing good in the world and on the field. Pottymouth picks a guy who finds a way to make lack of a second language work for him, and one leaning in to the goofy. Patti goes with a collegiate Ohtani and a lightning bolt. The hot stove claims some bats, adding fuel to the salary cap fire. An unsigned free agent gets suspended – but from what? Rosters for the World Baseball Classic gain some and lose some. Venezuela is really, really hosting an important tournament. Kansas City moves some outfield walls to be more average. And we learn about Tupac’s love of libraries. Or at least one in Baltimore. Philanthropies mentioned on today’s show include: Micah Pietila-Wiggs ”LLM” Foundation, Food4kids Florida, Bat Flips for Kids.

We say, “He tore a tendon in his right middle finger – for me that would be a major injury,” “Of course, Vegas was not a good place for Tupac,” and, "There's gonna be some color-coding and maybe some Google Sheets.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

I Literally Walked into What Would Become My Passion - Interview with Bob Kendrick

NCiB — Thu, 15 Jan 2026 12:00:00 -0500

Bob Kendrick, President of the National Negro Leagues Baseball Museum, joins us for a conversation ranging from touring his childhood hero, Henry Aaron, through the museum, to the incorporation of Negro League statistics into MLB stats, the rebirth of the Indianapolis Clowns, Toni Stone, the unexpected benevolence of a white, Canadian rocker, and the ambitious plan to triple the size of the museum to give Buck the house he deserves. Patti and Pottymouth are now planning an epic road trip and we bet you just might too. In the meantime, consider a contribution to Pitch for the Future, the capital campaign to build the new museum.

Bob says, “I grew up in the country, I don’t know if we had gravitas,” “Every time I was with Mr. Aaron I was reduced to that 12 year old kid,” and “You played it with high skill, you played it with passion, but you also played it with a little swag.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

We All Wanted to Be Henry Aaron

NCiB — Tue, 13 Jan 2026 12:00:00 -0500

We had the great honor of talking with Bob Kendrick, President of the National Negro Leagues Baseball Museum, which, in his words, “is one of the nation’s most preeminent social justice civil rights institutions – it’s just seen through the lens of baseball.” We share a few of Bob’s stories in this episode, and the full interview will be released as a bonus episode later this week. We’ve got boyfriends from TEX and ARI this week. For TEX, Pottymouth picks the only guy to play for both teams in one game while Patti completes a set of brothers. We battle for shortstop with ARI, with Pottymouth going sunshine and Patti leaning into the mom thing. We continue to keep an eye on MLB players in Venezuela, and we crosstrain with reality TV and fictional hockey, while women’s basketball crosstrains with women’s hockey.

We say, “Another retirement plan is coming to fruition,” “He can’t sing very well, but he tried,” and “Now that is a momma’s story right there.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

A Little Florida Confusing

NCiB — Tue, 06 Jan 2026 12:00:00 -0500

We did not plan to go all Florida in this episode but you can’t fight the rankings. For the Rays, Pottymouth picks Jonathan Aranda of the excellent qHAR and Kirk friendship, and Patti goes sexy defense and trustworthy babysitter Carson Williams. For MIA, Pottymouth selects Jakob Marsee and his good luck travelling pack, and Patti picks former Oriole Connor Norby, maybe just to tell a call up story. You knew it was coming, buckle up for the Venezuela rant. MLB had no plan and team statements are few and far between. Pottymouth has shared this googlesheet of Venezuelan players so you are able to track their statements as they happen. There’s not enough police blotter in the world to contain Lenny Dykstra. And we crosstrain with basketball, salsa, and Olympic hockey.

We say,”I did a deep dive, because, salsa lessons,” “does he not know how to spell OnlyFans?” and “how do you do that without stretching?” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Kinda Fun, Kinda Cute, or Cultural Appropriation?

NCiB — Wed, 31 Dec 2025 13:49:20 -0500

In which our boyfriend profiles reference the chicken dance, churning butter, ballers, and something nice to look at. Welcome to (not the Sacramento) Athletics and Cardinals week. The long strange trip of Anthony Rendon is finally over. He may have been why we changed the rules on forever boyfriends… the multi-talented Katia Reguero Lindor joins the Mamdani transition team and we are here for it. Is that why they are using Mets colors? We crosstrain with the ECHL’s brief but effective strike and share the ridiculously low expectations of minor league hockey. There's a series of series in the international baseball segment and we are no less confused. Happy New Year, friends!

We say, “Tragic in a disappointing sort of way,” “either I have another accident-prone guy or there’s hope,” and “maybe the answer is more colonization.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

A Sliding Scale of Villany

NCiB — Wed, 24 Dec 2025 14:07:23 -0500

The road trip season has pushed us back a day but here we are squeezing in a show between Chanukah and Christmas. Vocabulary lessons this week include Competitive Balance Tax, because the Luxury Tax isn’t just for Monopoly anymore, and Prospect Promotion Incentive (PPI). Just because it's the holidays it doesn’t mean you can slack on learning. Our boyfriends this week are from BAL, where Patti leans into the once and forever boyfriend and Pottymouth goes Westy, and the Hammers, where Pottymouth picks a player with a wacky Tennessee claim to fame and Patti goes right to ROY. The Police Blotter features the return of Wander Franco’s case to the courts, and the end of the Tyler Skagg’s courtroom drama. The International Baseball update includes almost baffling chaos around the Serie del Caribe and the Serie de las Americas but the takeaway is absolutely please stop blowing up Venezuelan boats. We’re both on yet more road trips and we wish you safe travels if you are too, and happy holidays if you celebrate. See you a day late again next week!

We say, “A glass half full of Santa’s Butt,” “There was some hockey, there was some smarts,” and “Donny was the youngest Osmond that had any juice.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

I Can Feel Everybody’s Dreams, Everybody’s Hopes

NCiB — Tue, 16 Dec 2025 12:00:00 -0500

Brittany Apgar, professional baseball player, newly drafted to the WPBL’s LA team, joins us to talk heroes and villains, origin stories, and finding your true self in the face of others telling you who you should be. Patti may have just found an LA baseball team to get behind. Another LA baseball team shows up in our boyfriend report The The Angels Angels, and the Pirates, get their turn in today’s show. For LAA, Pottymouth picks the guy with So Much Winter Ball, and Patti goes family trash talk. For PIT, we meet the Password and that nice local hockey player. Happy Chanukah! And may your house smell like oil for eight days. We mean that in the best latke way possible.

We say, “There was a little mezcal, a little bourbon,” “Yoga in the outfield with cows,” and “God I love the weird girls.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Wake up, Sit up, and Pay Attention

NCiB — Tue, 09 Dec 2025 12:00:00 -0500

On this week’s show we crosstrain with the NBA, the PWHL, the WNBA, and cats. We tell you exactly what you need to win for a share of the pre-arbitration bonus pool and Pottymouth makes a case for a similar pay equity system for public servants. As both of your hosts are public servants, we support this idea. We cannot share the top secret formula, however, because, well, top secret. Our boyfriends this week are from the Twins and the Nats. Pottymouth was swayed by love at first sight, and Patti took inspiration from last week’s interview guest, Clara Rice. We bring you one of the Rodrigi, a wrestler with a boxer walk-up, a young man giving back and “doing something cool,” and a playable character offered a full ride in 8th grade. WBC Rosters are out and its already stubhub time if you want to see any games in PR. Venezuela is still the host of the Serie del Caribe, but lets all keep an eye on current events. MLB workshops its economic priorities for the next CBA with the Fan Council, the MLBPA eboard is all pitchers and former Patti BFs, which sounds right, and Dave Roberts makes some poor language choices.

We say,”I’m more of the fricking type because I’m a lady,” “I went to a basketball game in the live,” and “Where is our Tortuga?” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Every Single Sport That Exists

NCiB — Tue, 02 Dec 2025 12:00:00 -0500

Clara Rice “technically” played eight sports in high school and “also baseball” outside of school so how could she not be part of the WPBL’s first draft class? She’s been crosstraining her whole life for this. Don’t worry though, she’s down to just two sports in her junior year of college, and “also baseball.” We hope you enjoy listening to our interview with Clara even half as much as we enjoyed talking with her. Just don’t try to pin her down on a hometown, there’s too many of them. It’s also the first of our new season of boyfriends. For CWS picks, Pottymouth goes for the infectious personality and Patti goes for the guy who takes mom to the hardware store. In COL, Pottymouth chooses a podcaster and Patti says yes to sexy defense. Some quick hits on winter ball: check out Saucegiving, and the LVBP HR derby.

We say, “I like that you check with me on a bible situation,” “It broke up the boy band,” and, “fishes, loaves, whatever, there were a lot of Tidings.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

What the Air Feels Like, What the Ground Feels Like

NCiB — Tue, 25 Nov 2025 12:00:00 -0500

It’s rare you can watch a dream come true in real time. We’ve been following Paloma Benach’s career as part of DC Girls Baseball, captaining her high school varsity team, and more along the way. And now we had the pleasure of speaking with her as a professional baseball player – making history in the inaugural draft of the Women’s Pro Baseball League. Give a listen as Paloma shares what it was like standing on the mound at Nat’s Park, what it took to get there, and what’s next. We also talk about some MLB and winter ball news, so there’s some clubhouse dogs, bat dogs, and wolves using tools, some hot stove vocabulary, yet more sports betting. Don’t worry, the Commissioner has that handled. But mainly, we’re all Paloma, all the time.

We say, “chicken and egging,” “Prioritize and itemize,” and “that’s why I haven’t had a heart attack yet today.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Kiké and Harry, Separated at Birth?

NCiB — Tue, 18 Nov 2025 12:00:00 -0500

And we thought they were only connected by wearing LAD caps. But no, Kiké Hernandez apologies to all of Puerto Rico from his hospital bed for having to miss the WBC due to shoulder surgery. Just last week his twin, Prince Harry, was apologizing to all of Canada. PCA and Corbs join Team USA and dear young Pete makes Mr. Judge feel his age. Welcome to little outlaw super athlete child, Josie James Swanson. Turns out our terrible predictions were only a little terrible – we aced Cy Young and the NL! The movement to keep LAD from visiting the White House gains traction, and the aerial tramway to the stadium loses some. The Trop is back and we want to know if the ceiling will still be “where the hell is the ball white.”

Baseball United is back, including Barry Larkin Field outside of Dubai, more home grown talent, and some questionable rule changes. The Police Blotter is all sports betting because it is really hitting a new level and we don’t miss the irony of the GMs meeting in a casino last week. Preliminary labor talks give Patti her second favorite quote of the week. We crosstrain with the fascist in chief’s visit to the Commanders vs Lions game last week and more happily with the PWHL’s Takeover Tour. Stay tuned – the WPBL’s draft is coming up!

We say, “You manifested the orangeness,” “That was putting the camel before the horse,” and, “You could have funded healthcare with that flyover.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Starts Nice, then Trash Talk

NCiB — Tue, 11 Nov 2025 12:00:00 -0500

Here we go into hot stove! And the one of us who is not a teacher by trade provides the vocabulary lesson. Stick with us and qualifying offers, arbitration, and super 2s will not confuse you. Congrats to Patti’s center fielders, PCA and Cedanne, for their Gold Glove wins, and to Pottymouth’s catcher Patrick Bailey for his. Pottymouth is accountable with her accounting – she came through with donations to excellent organizations doing good work to balance out guys who have done horrible things off the field helping her favorite team win on the field. Other good works in baseball? Dodgers fans supporting a Toronto children’s hospital, inspired by Toronto fans supporting a Seattle hospital. Maybe the LAD supporting the California Community Foundation’s LA Neighbors Fund? Maybe not? And the folks urging LAD to take an intentional walk right on past the White House instead of stopping by for a World Series visit. Sign their petition.

The police blotter is long, covering Clase and Ortiz’s gambling/fixing pitches indictments, Prince Harry’s completely unnecessary apology to Canada (no kings, anybody?), the Fascist-in-Chief’s pardoning of Daryl Strawberry for things he himself embraces so how can they be wrong, and Harper not actually sleeping with the fishes. Winter ball news includes Javy not only playing for LBPRC but also buying a AA semi-pro team, and the league rebranding in a way that makes Patti think she knows more Spanish than she actually does (El rebranding,” “La Pro”). And how about that Little Machete? More white guys got manager gigs, but one is on his way to being bilingual as Albernaz adds some Baltimore-ese to his native Mass. Your hosts urge you to take some hyper local action if you are comfortable – patronize your local immigrant-owned businesses, support your community foundation, write some postcards to policy makers.

We say, “perhaps the whole king thing is a bigger problem than the baseball cap,” “mafia-level juicy gossip,” and “I’m going to keep talking until you tell me to stop.” “Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

We Were All Bo Bichette

NCiB — Tue, 04 Nov 2025 12:00:00 -0500

We have many thoughts about the World Series including loving a Game Seven which had all the things except the result we wanted. Ernie Clement was the center of it all, Freddie couldn't stop with the walk offs, Yamamoto earned that MVP, we got a bench clearing kerfuffle, Will Smith took another big swing, and we had multiple chances to talk about just how much time Shohei should be taking. The TOR bullpen joined the LAD in showing support for Alex Vesia. Vladdy honored Captain Clutch, Marie Philip Poulin, but was unable to channel her magic. Congrats to Pookie for winning the Roberto Clemente award. ICE cooled off ticket sales and caused the plug to be pulled on the LIDOM showcase at Citifield, but the DR/PR all stars may still be on. The MLBPA flushed out a mole. And we give Max the last word on the season.

We say, “I’m doing numerology in my head,” “a tax on people who can’t do math,” and, “I’ll cheers with my Canadian little whiskey here.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Come at Them with the Fun Facts

NCiB — Tue, 28 Oct 2025 12:00:00 -0400

Your hosts are relieved there’s no sweep, but can we make it to a Game 7? Ernie Clement gives us the first episode of Home Town Love Comparison. TOR and Shohei have some we don’t need you no take backsies moments. Kiké has a record and Will comes out of his shell and goes right back in. George’s sister Lena keeps him in line while planning a post-WS wedding. We spend maybe too much time on tight pants but we have medical concerns. The Angels and Os pick new managers and we have opinions. The NBA betting scandals make both Rob and Tony toe some lines between concern, accountability, and income generation. The WPBL picks its first four cities, and MLB invites applications to National Girls and Women in Sports Day and also the Trailblazer series. Vladdy’s foundation and El Gente del Barrio collaborate on a derby fundraiser in Miami, Pottymouth has AI teach her about Copa América de Béisbol, and LIDOM is counting on the hurricane going the other way so games can begin soon. LVBP welcomes it first female umpire. We crosstrain with tariffs and the definition of hostile acts.

We say, “I’m going to tell you what he said and then I’m going to watch your face,” “Lower body leaves lots of room to contemplate,” and “You just compared AI to a house elf, favorably.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

8-6-2

NCiB — Tue, 21 Oct 2025 12:00:00 -0400

The postseason peaked early for Patti with this holy crap of an all-boyfriend double play. Other than that, and Jackson Chourio, NCiB is ticked about the LAD sweep, both because LAD and also because sweep. Maybe also because MLB will use this to push for a salary cap when collective bargaining begins. Is it fair that Shohei Ohtani is also Michael Jordan? We are not pleased that a Brewer’s fan provided a teaching moment in consequences for fans behaving badly. We fully endorse the “power of weird” in SEA fandom, from the $16 spell to rally shoes and cheetos and Logan Gilbert requesting Eugenio Suarez’s grand slam. Gold Glove nominees were announced and Pottymouth gets a double nominee while Patti has a deep outfield with sexy defense. We crosstrain with the NFL, and a little with the Police Blotter as the Fascist in Chief meddles in World Cup Soccer. What a relief that Winter Ball is here!

We say, ”Apples to kumquats,” Brighton is to Rochester as Olney is to Rockville,” and, “New England Gangsta.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Yelling for and Against Everybody

NCiB — Tue, 14 Oct 2025 12:00:00 -0400

Here we are in the week of maybe we want the Beer Cruise World Series (what else would you call a Brewers/Mariners match up?), but sure do like the idea of Canadians right now, and even though we like some guys a lot it's a no go for LAD in our hearts. 15 innings of ball and we spend our time on a fish race and Kerry Carpenter not cleaning up after himself. Okay, also Jorge Palanco and Leo Rivas. We’ve got small guys playing small ball and Toronto sports teams crosstraining among themselves. We don’t share Bad Bunny’s fandom but defend his right to sit out God Bless America because the only stretch song where standing is compulsory if able is Take Me Out. We don’t focus on Orion’s mistake as much as his accountability and the support of his team. And how ‘bout that Ernie Clement?

Pottymouth remembers Mike Greenwell including a story about a gator which we do not condone but understand its place in lore. The Rays are sold and the former owner shares the wealth. And MLB says Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion without saying Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion.

We say, “We are saving Humpy for the Moment,” “Is there a sad Pierogi?” and “We are allowed to say them because we are not funded by the Federal Government.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

We’re Very Appreciative of Canada

NCiB — Tue, 07 Oct 2025 12:00:00 -0400

Patti and Pottymouth have entered the “there’s always next year” phase of mourning Wildcard losses and have moved on to pondering such issues as “The Blue Jays wouldn’t have to visit the White House.” In our hearts we are simultaneously rooting for a SEA/MIL WS matchup and knocking on all the wood. In our “made it to postseason” boyfriend world we have elder statesmen counseling the kids, Ernie and Jackson lighting things up, and Ben Fricking Rice. In our Police Blotter: Fans Behaving Badly, we have BOS fans harassing Cam Schlittler’s family online, and the man LIVES in Boston. He seemed to channel his reaction constructively. Although ARAMARK delights PHI fans with its 9-9-9 box of moderation and thematic treats like Bader Tots, it’s really quite a corporate horror with its retaliation against unionized ballpark workers and its contract with approximately 100 detention centers. On a related note, LAD majority owner Mark Walter has profited handsomely from enormous private prison contracts with ICE as well as connections to technology tracking immigrants. We salute Seattle mayoral candidate Katie Wilson, who has a platform we can get behind even before she crosstrains with the Mariners in her campaign slogan, “The Big Dumper’s City Needs Public Bathrooms.” Pottymouth would very much like you to read Immigration Detention Inc., The Big Business of Locking Up Immigrants, Nancy Hiemstra & Diedre Conlon.

We say, “Sympathy wooze,” “porn management,” and “the burrito came in later.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

The Spray and the Foam and the Goggles and Whatnot

NCiB — Tue, 30 Sep 2025 12:00:00 -0400

It's the Phew Day between the last day of the regular season, and the first of the Wildcard round in which both Patti and Pottymouth are heavily invested. It was a record year for 30-30 seasons including PCA and six former NCiB boyfriends. Andy and Ernie help with the clinching, and Pottymouth gets all numerology-y with Jackson Chourio. Ceddanne clinched with a triple, and Guards play Guardball and clinch with a HBP. Brayan Rocchio reminds us that he’s a postseason darling with a walk off triple to cement the ALC. Pookie is learning some guitar in his downtime. Aaron is tall for a batting champ and Cal is awfully catcher-ish for a home run king. But which will be MVP? We have thoughts. Breaking T almost gets Pottymouth to buy a Kershaw shirt. But instead she waxes poetic over Paul Toboni and the horse he road in on. Congrats to Tito on bringing another team to the postseason. And what City wouldn’t want Seattle’s double booking problems. We missed the fiesta, but the Mariners found their man of the hour and celebrated his good guy-ness. Things got legitimately wild in the fantasy league but we crowned the second place winner(s). Please enjoy some Baseball Project and this terrific piece by Chelsea James. Buckle up and get your second screens ready so you can watch baseball at work. Here we go.

We say, “It’s a farming thing, and possibly a biblical thing,” “Classic, aromatic, and fluffy,” and “I’m just hitting stuff with sticks.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Cleveland Rocks

NCiB — Tue, 23 Sep 2025 12:00:00 -0400

As we edge closer to the postseason, Patti references a 1979 Ian Hunter classic while Pottymouth gets all literary while Waiting to Exhale. The lands of our respective births are giving us all the feels. Pottymouth promises to not mention the Red Sox at all so as not to flap any butterfly wings so you’ll only hear the team name five or six times. The Guards are on a tear, chasing an historic comeback while fielding a team of relative unknowns and Patti does love an underdog story. How about MLB not being wrong about increasing the number of wildcard teams keeps the season meaningful until the end?

Our boyfriends past and present are reaching milestones. Junior gets to 40, Giancarlo gets to 450, Jazz gets a 30-30, Jose can’t stop getting to 30-30, and Pete and Corbin are each one away. Cal knocks out a new record every week, and Juan gets a personal best. Yedlimar de Jesús becomes the first Puerto Rican woman to play D1 baseball. We crosstrain with the NCAA where we learn that top high school girls basketball players are flexing their values and turning their backs on scholarships or even applying to colleges in states that have removed or limited a woman’s right to choose. In international baseball news, Charros del Jalisco may not have prevailed but you can still get a Tequila hat. The US government has not yet approved Cuba’s attendance for the World Baseball Classic Pool A round in Puerto Rico, a berth they have earned. MLB may consider moving the whole round to an alternate country, so we of course suggest Cuba. And Adam Darowski found the missing 19 hits.

We say, “a lot of huzzah-ing,” “can of waxy worms,” and “shut up and dribble but in a good way.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

No Means No-No

NCiB — Tue, 16 Sep 2025 12:00:00 -0400

Interpret it as you like, either the unusual more than a year since the last major league no-hitter, or the disappointing and angry-making corporate culture associated with the Detroit Tigers. We kick off the police blotter by sharing the outcome of the Athletic’s investigation resulting in eight men, including six from Ilitch Sports and Entertainment, which operates the team, the former assistant manager, and a former player/current broadcaster for the team, of an appalling range of misconduct toward women staff. We move on to the behavior of the NYY in light of the killing of Charlie Kirk, someone completely unrelated to the Yankees organization, yet honored with a moment of silence – a gesture not extended to victims of school shootings or the killing of elected officials. It's a choice. In boyfriend news, Patrick Bailey has a grand slam walk off adding to Tanner Tightpant’s very bad week. Walker Buehler started off his PHI tenure with a win. Sal Frelick contributes to MIL being the first team to clinch, and Anthony RIzzo commits an error on the first play coming his way in retirement, but makes up for it in a round of beers for his fellow fans. We ponder the range of options of sea witches / mermaids / selkies / sirens available through Etsy vs Craig’s List but the witch that was booked set SEA on a winning streak. Met’s owner Stephen Cohen invests in the renovation of Beyer Stadium, home of the Rockford Peaches. Robinson Canó reaches 4000 professional hits, probably. And there is still hope for Tequila.

We say, “That’s the person who would wear a dickie,” “It’s more you than it is hair,” and “I’m missing 19 hits.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Not Quite Guadalajara

NCiB — Tue, 09 Sep 2025 12:00:00 -0400

Patti and Pottymouth will never forget “the screamable baseball game,” which you may know alternatively as the 30th anniversary of Cal Ripken, Jr. breaking Lou Gehrig’s record for consecutive games, Yamamoto’s nearly no-no, or the craziest comeback in the history of the Orioles. We celebrated the importance of showing up every day no matter the challenges. We celebrated a friend to labor, a dad who started the biggest day of his professional life by taking his daughter to her first day of school, and the ballplayer who understood that connecting with fans may be the most important part of the job. We also chanted “Eddie! Eddie!” with cans of Steady Eddie in our hands. We then watched Yoshinobou Yamamoto pitch the game of his life, and that legacy kid Jackson Holliday break it up with a big swing and a smile.

Other baseball things happened too – we ponder what life is like this week for the Phillies fan who berated another Phillies fan at loanDepot Park until he gave up the Harrison Bader home run ball he had retrieved and given to his birthday boy son. DBacks pitching comes back for Pottymouth but is it too little, too late? And the Butler did it. As we do like to lean into a theme, the Serie del Tequila played right into our shot glass clutching hands. Charros del Jalisco may find a home in our NCiB hearts as we learn that both tequila and mariachi come from Jalisco.

We say, “my boyfriend is not the perpetrator," “I was yelling, it’s not a symptom,” and “Ergo, Tequila.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

It Was Funnier on the Plane

NCiB — Tue, 02 Sep 2025 12:00:00 -0400

What happens in Vegas definitely gets shared on the pod. Pottymouth reports back on the “moving dirt around” stage of the new ballpark in Las Vegas and ponders the slot machine per capita question. Kyle is nipping at Cal’s heels – is there an actual home run race happening here at the stretch? We make a verbal Manny/Kiké/Manny sandwich. Josh Naylor keeps stealing bases with brains over speed. We are not impressed with Mark Teixeira’s run for congress. The flipped Little League bat brings in $10K at auction and it all goes to support the local league. Samuel Basallo answers the question about how many zeros it takes to be happy.

September is Suicide Prevention Month. We encourage you to support local organizations, and/or if you are able, contribute to this American Foundation for Suicide Prevention fundraiser led by a friend of the show.

We say, “I remember the distaste more than the facts,” “Maybelle Blair is life goals,” and “a lot of cred in the vibe.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

The Bold and The Bitterful

NCiB — Tue, 26 Aug 2025 12:00:00 -0400

Sure it’s the name of this episode’s beer of choice but it really does capture the moment. This week, from the nation’s occupied capitol, we bring you boyfriends getting out of slumps. Connor and Christian turn things around, PCA and Kyle remember the long ball. Zach is out for the season and we learn some new medical terms. Adley is out for at least a while and we learn some contract extension terms for Samuel Basallo and see a little smack down on extending other Os. We dig deep about NYY prospect Core Jackson and look for context around his quite horrible actions in college. Maybe more opportunities to teach about lessons of the past are better than fewer. We celebrate the Little League World Series and wish we all had the poise of Monica Arcuri. And we absolutely believe the Fascist in Chief when he assures us that the millions of people coming to the US for next year’s World Cup will have a “very easy time” getting in.

We say, “Mistaked? Mistaken? Mistooken?” “When you throw a squirrel into the game things get a little nutty,” and “I usually save those grains of salt for margarita rims.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Just Keep Your Swivel

NCiB — Tue, 19 Aug 2025 12:00:00 -0400

Pottymouth’s inner 12 year old may giggle at episode 420 but her grown up teacher self lays out MLB’s drug policy and how it’s changed over time and between leagues, from “smoke your way to the 40 man” to “don’t show up high.” Player’s weekend brought us foods on bats, some philanthropy, and nostalgia for the good old days of nicknames on jerseys. We both have fantasy team pitching woes, but there’s also Junior making a name among the 21 year olds, and Zach turning that triple play. Marco’s little league bat flip gets pinned and monetized. The first women’s professional baseball tryouts are happening in your nation’s capital this weekend. If you can navigate through all the unnecessary National Guard currently invading DC, please try to join Patti at Nats Park on Monday to watch the final games to determine who is eligible for the draft. And say what you will about the Phanatic, but he did give us the vodka solution for beating the heat.

We say, “Star Warsy-looking people,” “ICE is picking up people trying to make a living mowing lawns,” and “Buy a bottle of wine for your favorite teacher.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Gravity Always Wins

NCiB — Tue, 12 Aug 2025 12:00:00 -0400

We celebrate the “gravity” and the “magnitude” of the moment as Jen Pawol makes history as the first woman to umpire a regular season MLB game. We also put it into the disappointing context that not only is MLB 28 years behind the NBA, but, as Chelsea James notes, we almost had robo-umps before a woman had the gig. Our continuing excellent taste in baseball boyfriends is reinforced as the Heart and Hustle winners are announced, with an 80% NCiB BF showing. The PCA report turns into a vocabulary lesson with Outs Above Average and 5-Star catches. Shea turns batting lead-off into a show and we discover a Correa/Caratini/childhood link. The NYY Old-Timers are looking a little weekend-warrior-ish but we appreciate the effort. Our crosstraining/police blotter/rant is over the dangerous and demeaning throwing of sex toys onto the court at WNBA games. Pottymouth checks in with some old friends in the LMB. And please bookmark this link to the PWHL/Tim Horton Barbie because Patti needs one for Christmas and this fantastic little fundraiser is currently sold out.

We say “Hall-ish of Fame or Hall of Fame-ish?” “eye of the beardholder,” and “what’s weirder? Me saying dildo or me saying meme coin?” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Kids vs. Boo

NCiB — Tue, 05 Aug 2025 12:00:00 -0400

What a weekend for baseball. Patti witnesses small children in the stands absolutely take down a full grown booing adult for his poor sportsmanship, and then fireworks. Pottymouth gets a winning double header, dubious mascots, an imaginary friend, and then fireworks. Oh and also there was that trade deadline. The Os lose 100% of their Ramons and Cedrics, but their 21% of the Jacksons in the league turn a relay to throw out the runner at home. There’s a whole Taylor/Tyler trade and beer fridge situation, and some pitchers commute to their new team by walking from one bullpen to another. There was a Clemens on the mound, and a Kyle taking down Yankees with big swings.

Teams can’t decide if they are marketing to Women, Ladies, or Girls but we think they all mean the same group of people. CLE cleans out some pitcher cubbies while the league conducts another possible career-ending gambling investigation. We decide the return of the Presidential Fitness Test is firmly in Police Blotter category. We have takes, and flashbacks. Bryce, Max, and others question the commissioner’s squirrely end run around union leadership and aren’t afraid to call it out. It seems Cuban girls playing softball are not a security threat but clearly their adult supervision cannot be trusted. The WBC brings the return of Dusty Baker, and a surprisingly stacked coaching staff for Venezuela. Patti recommends The Last Manager, mostly. And oh, hey, one CAN find the results of the Baseball for All Nationals in one handy place!

We say, “His name is Mort and he is a casket,” “booing with his whole diaphragm,” and “extravaganza lollapalooza situations.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Horseplay

NCiB — Tue, 29 Jul 2025 12:00:00 -0400

In a surprising twist, this week’s police blotter is Little League-centric, from the policy to the personal. The entire Venezuelan Senior Little League team, made up of 13-16 year olds, was denied visas to participate in the Senior Little League World Series held in South Carolina this week. Yes, the United States broke the hearts of an entire team who not only proved themselves the best in Venezuela, then traveled to Bogotá in order to obtain visas, to then be told they are too much of a security threat to enter the US. And here at home, a player competing for the NJ Little League title was ejected from a game and then suspended for a bat flip. Which is not against the rules. “Horseplay” was added later to the “unsportsmanlike conduct” charge because even though it is in the eye of the beholder, horseplay appears in the safety rules.

In boyfriend news, Pottymouth’s catcher continues to be all Wong, even if her infielders are adorable (cue the drinking game). Cristopher Sanchez tosses a complete game to stay in Patti’s good graces. Cal menaces more records, and Cedric’s incredible game may be a swan song. Old guy Justin Turner jokes with old guy Rich Hill, while Tito and Kevin trade manager-level pranks. Nick Kurtz makes his young presence known, even if that triple is elusive. Women in Baseball Week is bracketed by the end of Baseball for All Nationals, and the lead up to the All-American Women's Baseball Classic.

We say, “Italian-sized pilsner – it’s shaped like a boot,” “That’s a little Amish joke,” and “I get to woo, you get to woo, we both get woo.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

That’s a Labor Thing, Man

NCiB — Tue, 22 Jul 2025 12:00:00 -0400

No kidding, the Swing Off as the ASG tiebreaker is in the collective bargaining agreement. CBAs also show up when we crosstrain with the WNBA – players are getting crap for backing off social justice activism in favor of “business.” And by business they mean negotiating their CBA. Here to tell you, fair pay is a social justice issue. We’ve got ASG takes – mic’d up players, unis, bling vs meaning in fashion coverage, and a crayon bat to make a statement. PCA started a new club, Kyle won’t back down, and Brayan came back up. Pottymouth mourns her Diamondbacks in the rough. Thank you, owners of the Guardians and the Commanders for your “no thank you” response to the fascist in chief’s directive to go back to their former, racist, team names. Travel bans and ICE activity cause the MLBPA to instruct international players to keep their immigration docs on them at all time, and have us revisiting FIFA logistics. Good luck to all the participants in the 10th Annual Baseball For All Nationals!

We say, “You educate so hard,” “Wrexham Massholes,” and “Guadalajara won’t do.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Strong Opinions and Very Loud Voices

NCiB — Tue, 15 Jul 2025 17:08:20 -0400

Again, we have publicly committed to predictions an hour before the (all NCiB Boyfriend) Home Run Derby begins, that you won’t hear until you already know who won. How’d we do? We also check in on our pre-season predictions on standings and individual awards and learn that while some are just as terrible as history has taught us to expect, we are surprisingly right on in some places. Those places are not the American League. We’ve got some pretty good running “for a catcher,” more benchmarks for PCA, Kyle treating OPACY like home, and some pretty irate Phillies. Congrats to Tito Francona for winning #2000! We wonder what’s in the HS drinking fountain water in Oklahoma that produced the #1 and #4 picks in this year’s draft. More commitments in the WBC, and some travel ban cross-training with FIFA.

We say, “It’s just not aerodynamic when your shirt is unbuttoned so far,” “His golf caddies have named him Pelé,” and “How do you solve a problem like Pottymouth?” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Always Within Yelling Distance of the Batter

NCiB — Tue, 08 Jul 2025 12:00:00 -0400

At this point we can’t tell the difference between crosstraining and the Police Blotter. We have travel bans, trans bans, international volleyball, collegiate swimming, and harmful decisions. We also have a WNBA player insulting Patti’s hometown, but Patti takes the high road and offers help with geography and, well, words. As we approach the All Star break we have Cal and Woody both doing Barry Bonds things. We’ve got Pete being veteran-level thoughtful and also playing impossible defense. Kody proves Pottymouth makes some good decisions, but she checks the math to be sure. The Nats fire their manager and their GM while your hosts are on the metro returning from Nats Park. No lie, that felt weird. The Dodgers are getting it from all sides Nezza points out some double standards re free speech at the stadium, and the team gets hit with a We Don’t Like You Promoting the Civil Rights of people who are not straight white males Complaint. It was actually listed as a “Civil Rights Complaint” but we feel they left out some important words. The Serie del Caribe lets the kids play, the WBC lets the boyfriends play, and the WPBL invites all the best women baseball players to DC next month to prove they can, and should, play.

We say, “I’m going younger and funner,” “Not quite at the singing level of beer consumption,” and “Giant colonization murder board.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Irresponsible is in the Eye of the Beholder

NCiB — Tue, 01 Jul 2025 12:00:00 -0400

Since last week we've been to Pride night, and Pottymouth has checked out the Smokies new ballpark, and crosstrained with Bananaball. Patti opted out on Bananaball because there are two kinds of people in the world. Although Cosmic Baseball could be a thing… The All Star Game is loaded with former boyfriends and just a few new ones, and the Derby could be all our guys. Congrats to Justin Verlander on what must be a very beautiful new baby, and thanks for the timing which let Brett Wisely back up to the bigs. More fans behaving badly, this time to Ketel Marte, and good work to the hometown fans for much-needed support. Police Blotter and more crosstraining as we report on horrible men in two sports. Franco gets away with abhorrent deeds and Tucker denies it all. More World Baseball Classic participants are announced and we are eyeing a trip to Puerto Rico. And thank you, Trea Turner, for not ticking off the baseball gods.

We say, “I went and did the Banana thing,” “A light beer but way more of it so the math should work,” and “Whiskey with the Canadians in the basement.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

When the Dugout’s Jumping

NCiB — Tue, 24 Jun 2025 12:00:00 -0400

When it is a thousand degrees outside, Elly gets sick on the field and then homers, and we just stay in the air conditioning and curse climate change. Geaux Tigers! Congrats to LSU on their College World Series win, fair and square, unlike the suspicious victory in the Jello Shot Challenge for charity (we’re looking at you, Paul and Livy). The Dodgers just have so much going on trying to overcome the bad press about staying mum as the city burns. They are donating a million dollars, but for what exactly? Did they prevent ICE from entering the ballpark grounds? Nezza disregards the directive and sings the anthem in Spanish. And still no other players speak out. Terry Francona continues to charm, and Harry Caray’s grandson reminds us to keep the L in “flag.” Manny inspires Andy to greatness and a new nickname. Woody keeps topping out at 451’ homers. Cal Raleigh is quietly shattering records. A horrific foul ball to the dugout incident brings a ballpark together, and we wish Hunter Bigge a full recovery. Please let it cool off before Pride Night in Baltimore.

We say, “When Big Papi calls, you answer,” “no projectiles, no fists,” and “when it's done with jello shots, is it really fraud?” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Cannons, Bowling Shirts, and a Gopher

NCiB — Tue, 17 Jun 2025 12:00:00 -0400

Feels like a Father’s Day episode what with weaponry gone awry, novelty shirts made from petroleum products, and Caddyshack references. PCA hits them high and low, and Woody hits them where they don’t usually go. Cutch passes Clemente, Manny sneaks up on 2000, and we’ve got more bfs on the IL than the bench. The Contreras brothers (Contrarians?) do something rare. Kiké speaks out even though the LAD do not, and we note how women’s leagues do not hesitate to take a stand. And we crosstrain by buying Immigrant City FC shirts. MLB players speak out about how sports betting has changed fan interactions for the worse. Those nice BOS newlyweds give the Pope a CWS cap and now you know what the regulation Pope headgear is called and why there’s a sunroof in the Popemobile.

We say, “levity instead of enlightenment, maybe both,” “scratch in inappropriate places,” and “It’s going to be a great time at the hotel bar.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

We're Gonna Talk Some Yelp Reviews

NCiB — Tue, 10 Jun 2025 12:00:00 -0400

Did you notice that as soon as your favorite team has a series in Tampa or Sacramento, there is a “news” story that sounds like Yelp reviews of the non-major-league facilities? It would have been a 10 if not for the batter's box. Swirling and unpredictable. You get it. Pottymouth swears Junior has a sixth tool but she never comes right out and says what it is. It might be a camp! Or bobbleheads! Her pitching flock has been reduced to Diamondbacks in the rough. Patti is amused that there are stories predicting that 24 year old Cedanne may one day be the next 23 year old Pete. And is Adley hitting better because of losing the toe tap or because Patti benched him for a game? We ponder the motivation of old guys grinding it out in the minors. The police blotter checks in on the ongoing Wander Franco trial, and the terrible defacing of the Robinson and Miñoso mural in Miami. Geaux Tigers! The takeaway from Nationals Night Out is that if you are going to pitch in heels, for god’s sake, PRACTICE in heels.

We say, “13 is a lot. 14 is more,” “J. Geils,” and, “It rains on what’s already wet.”: Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Guatemalan Moonshine

NCiB — Tue, 03 Jun 2025 12:00:00 -0400

This episode fueled by cuxa in tiny teacups – perhaps a result of taking a clown visiting from Guatemala to an Orioles game and gifting him a “Relish” t shirt, or just another Sunday. Junior sets a record for under-22s. Woody sets a record for no more than 22s, and PCA (at 23) just sets the pace. Kids today! Kody with a K finds a home with MIN, and we sort out all the Victors. Oneil hits them hard and far, and Freddy hits the life-changers. The police blotter is overflowing what with the wife of Luis Arraez engaging in questionable promotions in dangerous times, Wander promoting himself questionably, and Dodger Stadium dropping rocks on NYY fans. The road to the College World Series is underway and Pottymouth is already wearing the purple. Please watch the Seattle Mariners Pride video right now.

We say, “moments ago, plus soup,” “I made, perhaps, some poor decisions,” and, “put the Fun in Funderburk.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

McCullered

NCiB — Tue, 27 May 2025 12:00:00 -0400

In which we declare “McCullered” a verb and Patti references songs from both 1862 and 1985. The merry, merry month of May gives us records set by both Pete Crow-Armstrong and Jasson Dominguez. COL and Pottymouth welcome the return of Ezequiel Tovar, and there’s just so much Soto to discuss. Liam Hendriks says the kind of death threats experienced by Lance McCullers are horrifyingly common and absolutely fed by sports betting. Underage drinking is now a part of the incident resulting in serious injuries to a fan falling from the stands in PNC park. COL may have set a record for losses in 50 games and have a fan suing them for being bad, but at least their security staff is trying to keep opposing players out of the ballpark. Previously McCullered Tim McGraw is headlining the Speedway Classic featuring CIN vs ATL in August. We crosstrain with ice dancing and encourage you to read this piece about gender “complexities” in that sport. We may reference a little light, harmless voter fraud.

We say, “Punk bands aren’t afraid of anything,” “It’s like a homerun derby, but there’s a lot of defense,” and “We ain't gonna play Sun City.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Jhonny Pereda, The Czech Electrician, and Kody Clemens

NCiB — Tue, 20 May 2025 12:00:00 -0400

I’ll take unlikely pitchers to strike out Shohei Ohtani for 200 please. We let Sally Jenkins and Jake Mintz take the lead on the “permanent ends when you're dead” rant re Pete and the other formerly permanently ineligibles. Will Andy Pages be the player that gets Pottymouth to manage her fantasy team more closely? Maybe! Patti’s team is again short a 3rd baseman but the math is working out. PCA’s newest stats are rivaling those of the new Pope for Chicago-based excitement. We thought the BOS gag was going to be Who’s On First but it turned out to be who is in the outfield because the new City Connects are Fenway camo for the guys near the wall. Kudos to the second place finisher in a Maine high school track event for calling out Rep. Laurel Libby as a bully for “maligning” the trans-identified athlete who won the event. And we crosstrain with ornithology because even after Brandon Hyde got fired only one kind of oriole is fun to watch right now.

We say, “I wanna piggyback on the joy,” “who wouldn’t want to swing a rainbow banner?” and “I hate it when drag queens make me cry.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Dibs on the Pope

NCiB — Tue, 13 May 2025 12:00:00 -0400

Yup, an actual text sent by Patti to the Pottymouth because the new Pope is a legit sports fan. And oh how Chicago is enjoying that! We’ve got some nods to Mothers Day – badass Veronica Alvarez is gifted maternity baseball pants, Jace and Josh’s mom gets to wear a split jersey to watch them face off on a major league field, and Pottymouth gets a hat. That Patti gets to wear. Jasson Dominguez overtakes a record previously held by Joe DiMaggio. Jackson Merrill says “daddy ball” and something mysterious that we can only guess at, and Andy Pages takes the real job. Some Houston fans overstep into dangerous and hateful territory over Lance McCullers. PIT can’t catch a break anywhere, from fans, stadium staff, or managers. Rafael Devers is in need of some Crash Davis to get himself together. And Ayami Sato pitches for the Maple Leafs (the baseball ones, not the hockey ones). Pottymouth invites local friends of the show to Patti’s birthday party. It’s a two homonym day on the show, see if you can spot them both!

We say, “You’re not really wearing pants,” “Tennis and Wordle. One of these things is not a sport,” and, “All he had to learn was to *not* do something.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Ladies Auxiliary

NCiB — Tue, 06 May 2025 12:00:00 -0400

It’s the day Bradley met Adley, Pottymouth decides to reach out to Duran’s mom, we sort out the battery issues and we discuss the pros and cons of honoring Don Johnson via City Connect even though it’s working for Kyle. We report in on our terrific experience watching See Her, Be Her on the big screen and enjoying a star-studded panel discussing women playing baseball. We are amused that PCA trolled his dad about the Cubs as a child, and that Yadi and his brothers may be set to music – or at least film. Patti does enjoy a conversation about building code and yet another opportunity to tell listeners to stop leaning into the field of play. We’ve got some but not all Eagles in the White House and are surprised to learn that the Commissioner's business in the White House included a conversation about immigration policy. We also learn how to use “scheduling conflict” effectively. We crosstrain with aircraft and horseback. Please do something nice for the moms in your life.

We say, “everyone’s out of Jamesons,” "I wanted Journalism to win but Journalism has NOT been winning,” and “it was step one, not Step Done.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Whack-a-Mole

NCiB — Tue, 29 Apr 2025 12:00:00 -0400

*Not* a reference to Tommy Pham, but he does appear in Police Blotter for possibly a record-setting time. Our fantasy team infields continue to make news with Pottymouth contemplating Rice from Wong and Patti finally covering 3B. Christian Walker heats up, Eugenio Suarez makes some noise, Wyatt Langford is back with a bang, and Pete CA can’t stop taking it to the Dodgers. Again we make with the City Connect opinions including agreeing with Sweetart references and feeling groovy. We crosstrain with the first ever Final Four Inclusion Clinic and encourage you to give a listen to the Queer Women in Sports panel.

We say, “Jameson is on my team and I will celebrate appropriately,” “hand gesture below the waist,” and “Georgia O’Keefe Oyster Catcher thing.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

“Ruse” is Irrelevant, But, Okay

NCiB — Tue, 22 Apr 2025 12:00:00 -0400

Jackie Robinson Day came and went with Kareem calling out the President’s attack on DEI (although we don’t think it is a ruse for segregation, we think it *is* segregation), Mookie saying some hard truths about the LAD at the White House, and the commissioner saying some weak things and making questionable visits. Pottymouth got the Puk out of there and told us of fast boys, Patti’s flock is making with the Ks and she tells us how math works. Miranda has a bad day set to good tunes. Jazz stars in the police blotter (kids, put away the phones when you are supposed to put away the phones). Someone is crocheting for Crochet and weirdly it’s not Patti. MIN sponsors a Queer Women in Sports panel! PIT makes sure all those folks standing around for hours for a Skenes bobblehead go home happy, and the captain is the captain.

We say, “You wanted the Puk, yeah!! But you got the Puk, no!” “Church of Baseball,” and “Maybe this is a lesson that you should get a filter and save the environment.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

There Goes Our Federal Funding

NCIB — Tue, 15 Apr 2025 12:00:00 -0400

So many catchers in this snack size episode. We’ve got pinky injuries, rolled ankles, welcome back dingers with glasses, and only dingers against Toronto. The Orioles help build an outdoor classroom at Harlem Park Elementary with a donated playoff share, and players fill its library with their own favorite books. Pottymouth is well aware that she should roster her NYY bf but you can’t take the Boston out of the fantasy team manager. What happened to Mike Trout is NOT what happened to Mookie Betts, it’s not against the rules, but please stop doing it anyway. Duran is missing a huge opportunity to atone for past mistakes and change lives, but nope. Please read this piece by Kevin Blackstone in the Washington Post about the team of Jackie Robinson visiting the Trump White House. We would have just ranted, but he just lays it all out there, calm, cool, and cutting. Pottymouth walks us through all the connections between the tragic roof collapse of the Dominican nightclub and so many MLB players. Patti picks “person in front of whom all ideas for alternate team identities must be run before selection” as her next career. The River Cats/Gold Diggers really put her over. Puerto Rico looks like the only place we can stand to visit for WBC games – want to join us?

We say, “Rivaling this on the classy scale…” “Honorable mention to a non-croucher,” and “That’s so much more concise for all those words I just said…” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

We Could be Silver Shruggers

NCiB — Tue, 08 Apr 2025 12:00:00 -0400

The reason torpedo bats are a thing is because they are not called bowling pin bats. Patti catches you up on all things torpedo. It seems like all the cool kids are getting contact extensions and we float a few more contenders. Pottymouth wants to complete her Walker set and Patti just wants a complete infield. Profar is a deep disappointment, and Ian Happ is still making us coffee 1000 games later. It’s that episode where we make our terrible predictions but we can’t not. Once again one of your hosts goes with heart and the other one wants to not lose. The WooSox give us Women in Sports Day proving we should never need to hear “Ladies Night” at a ballpark again. Kelsie goes for another first, and you’ve got an Eastern Womens Baseball Conference reading assignment. Pottymouth models how to constructively deal when terrible humans end up on your favorite team. Also, sell your Tesla.

We say, “he kept losing his patron saint of travel,” “You tell me you don’t have any tattoos but I don’t believe you,” and, “Some of our best friends are Canadians with basements.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

While I’m on This Side of the Grass

NCiB — Tue, 01 Apr 2025 12:00:00 -0400

We made it to 400 episodes and celebrated in style. Kat D. Williams joined us to talk about her new book “All The Way: The Life of Baseball Trailblazer Maybelle Blair.” Kat is a terrific storyteller and took us along for the ride of childhood Maybelle demanding a girls’ team in elementary school, adult Blair playing professional baseball *and* softball, planning and executing the transporting (by ground) of a fighter jet through the streets of LA to the Air Force Base, escaping the raiding of a gay bar, inspiring legions of girls and women to play ball, and coming out publicly at age 95. We hope you enjoy listening to this conversation as much as we enjoyed participating in it. Maybelle Blair is life goals, and Kat left us inspired to build runways. Find All the Way at your independent book store or online at Bookshop.org. Find Kat Williams on instagram at @tellagirlshecan and keep up with all the great things happening at and with the International Women’s Baseball Center.

We learn the answer to “What’s it like to have a beer with Maybelle.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Podcast? Combat.

NCiB — Tue, 25 Mar 2025 12:00:00 -0400

It’s the week of Hopening Day! Patti’s infield is a mess and Pottymouth is looking at the centerfield version of second base but nonetheless we have our fantasy team starting lineups ready. This week’s rant is geared at the scrubbing of history in the name of the wrong definition of DEI. And maybe it took messing with Jackie Robinson *and* The Golden Girls but people are paying attention. Except that MLB is also doing some scrubbing of their own. Pottymouth thinks Ron Washington would make a great high school principal and wants to give him a shoerack. We’ve got some fun cup, some new City Connects, and another how the heck did this get out of committee logo design. And an 11 year old gets a payday bigger than Paul SKenes.

We say, “I wouldn’t get the hat but I appreciate the nod to the farmers of Wisconsin, “Soft, squishy balls in Venezuela,” and “They’re making lemonade out of Georgia O’Keefe imagery.” ”Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Vitriol Hangover

NCiB — Tue, 18 Mar 2025 12:00:00 -0400

MLB is just printing money now, with deals for bad hats, alter-egos for minor league teams, and gold patches that will turn into collectibles and replica jerseys. We really do buy all the things. It’s time to pick our pitching squads (flocks?) and weirdly we leave LAD alone. Pottymouth finds her ideal law firm, and inner 12 year old, in ARI and Patti says PHI is the place to be. The Dodgers and Cubs visit Japan for exhibition games and the official start to the season, while the kids enjoy the Spring Breakout. Anyone want to buy the Rays? Because they are burning some bridges in Tampa. And Devers eats some humble pi.

We say, “Oh dear, Tampa? It’s usually Oh hell, Florida,” “Vento-mocha-cream-whatever the f*#k it is,” and, “We will get in a car and drive for Hooch Pooches.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Who Gave This Kid a Sharpie?

NCiB — Tue, 11 Mar 2025 12:00:00 -0400

Baseball boyfriends are by definition guys we like, but sometimes it takes a while to get to that part. Welcome to the show where we profile Yankees and Dodgers. LA brings us a defection story and a high profile international signing, and NY brings us a childhood Pesky pole situation and a putting one over on the parents with a dirty uniform. Spring training gives us Walkers and talkers, and Vegas tourism finds a way to put a city name on an As jersey. You too can own a baseball team, just ask Billie Joe Armstrong. WBC qualifiers wrap up with qHAR questions, and Chris Kluwe gets canned for dubious reasons. Read this about Rachel Balkovec.

We say, “If you throw rocks really, really far you could hit Boston,” “audacious little f&*ker,” and “You dropped a lot of pirate words talking about a 5-year old.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Christmas in March

NCiB — Tue, 04 Mar 2025 12:00:00 -0500

It’s always a holiday when we get to pick boyfriends. For CLE, Pottymouth has her first Noel and Patti picks a postseason star, then we find some Clemeni and some long game with the PHI. We throw some love to Jake Burger’s baby, and admire how Pottymouth sweeps an outfield. Cashman backpedals on Duck Dynasty and Manfred shares some lock out thoughts with a tinge of threat. The WBC qualifiers feature a pod favorite, Yu Chang, and we learn that Andre and Steffi made a baseball player! Patti crosstrains with romance novels and wants you to read The Prospects for some trans athlete affirmation and stunningly accurate baseball details. In related coping strategies, Pottymouth recommends Chatting Practice. And we both recommend the president shuts up and dribbles.

We say, “Sir, you have no jurisdiction here,” “I think he may be able to out-drink me,” and “So Kardashian-ish.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Hippies and Rabble-Rousers

NCiB — Tue, 25 Feb 2025 12:00:00 -0500

Thank you to brave governors and former NFL players for speaking truth to power. Spring Training is back and that means our guys are hitting bombs, speaking out of turn, gifting cars, and sneaking freshly baked bread into cubbies. We’ve got boyfriends on the Os and Pads including a once and forever, a guy that just wants to make us happy, and additions to our Jackson and Rosario collections. The NYY make some babysteps in allowing grown men to control their own bodies. The ABS Challenge System is live and well in Spring Training which means we know how tall you really are. World Baseball Classic qualifiers continue. And what’s a police blotter without some raw milk and embarrassing consequences?

We say, “It’s kind of a danger if you believe in science,” “long-haired dudes who have been good at baseball,” and “Holy f*ckn spitballs.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

O Canada

NCiB — Tue, 18 Feb 2025 12:00:00 -0500

We love a good anthem kerfuffle, especially when we get to cross-train with it. The big news is Bregs to Beantown and Pottymouth and her dad couldn’t be happier. The boys are back – from injuries and to Spring Training. We check in with Christian’s actual back, Freddie’s ankle, Shohei’s throwing arm, and Tito’s triggers. We’ve got new boyfriends with HOU and MIL, so you’ll hear about an addition to the Walker collection, Ohio and Mass boys, and a new forever boyfriend. Qualifiers start for the World Baseball Classic, and Pete’s got stars in his hair. And we try to work out what constitutes drinking for the cycle.

We say, “If we made them the 51st state we couldn’t have a ‘world’ series,” “An Ohio boy and a Massachusetts boy so they are just like us, except we are not boys,” and, “The chances of that are two in a Brazilian.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

We Swear It’s a Coincidence

NCiB — Tue, 11 Feb 2025 12:00:00 -0500

Yup, KC boyfriends get picked on Superbowl Sunday, but we throw in for the Eagles and back up our claim that they are a morally better team. This does not stop us from wanting to have a beer with a dad or Hunter Pence, Jr. Over at the NYM we pick a former LIDOM MVP and a little brother living up to the hype. The Serie was in fact in the Caribe, but it ain’t as Caribe as it used to be. The Police Blotter closes the book(ie) on Mizuhara and expresses some surprise at Pat Hoeberg’s questionable choices. MLB owners make the list with a couple of decisions about Johns. DC folks, make your plans for See Her, Be Her, in support of Little League International’s “Girls with Game” program, on May 3rd. And Pitchers and Catchers report! Please join us over on Patreon for our full rant about the EO and subsequent policy changes keeping transgendered girls and women out of sports. We are not impressed.

We say, “If only there were a way to fact check things before we say them out loud,” “Tommy Pham, Immaculate Grid Hero,” and, “everybody can shove their DEI excuses up their asses.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Arbitration is Not an Affectionate Process

NCiB — Tue, 04 Feb 2025 12:00:00 -0500

We’re in the middle of the arbitration window and of course we are keeping score. Find your way to honor Black History Month – maybe with a visit to the Negro Leagues Baseball Museum while the Royals are picking up the tab. Meet our boyfriends with the Tigers and the Hammers, including superheroes, little brothers, and donuts. Pottymouth rides the success of her Winter Ball teams and bf picks right on in to the Serie del Caribe. The Padres do not disappoint with the continuing soap opera, and we get a closer peek at the lucky 11 year old who drew the Paul Skenes debut patch card. Heart of gold and so very eleven.

We say, “bocce is my new coping mechanism,” “we haven’t had a Cuban defection story in a while,” and “That sounds like a lacrosse player.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

A Little Packet of Resist

NCiB — Tue, 28 Jan 2025 12:00:00 -0500

It was a helluva week. We do get to the baseball but we take a moment to remind you every day is a good day to join the resistance, and do what you can from where you are. Congrats to the new Hall of Fame class, but is Ichiro rewarding the wrong voter with a drink and a chat? Max and Christian provide an unforgettable afternoon for Little League families in fire-plagued Encino, and Jurickson, Anthony, and Charlie get new gigs. Meet our boyfriends on the Mariners and D’backs. Ippei Mizuhara’s crime gets even nuttier, and yet another young baseball fan turns a special baseball memento into a solid college fund. Winter ball winds up at the country level as we move into Caribbean Series mode. And there’s just a little crosstraining from the Ohio girl/hockey fan.

We say, “I’ve seen the Sound of Music, I know what fascism looks like,” “be a human billboard,” and, “A daily reminder that I have some power, and it's not just the power of cayenne.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Wining, DIning, Sushi-fying

NCiB — Tue, 21 Jan 2025 12:00:00 -0500

It’s how the Dodgers signed Sasaki -- well, that and acing their homework assignment. Patti invented a fennel-clementine-gin cocktail in the comfort of her own home, and Pottymouth enjoyed local brews in the great state of MA, and yet we still found the time to tell you stories of boyfriends on the Twins and the Cards. LA Strong continues to happen with wildfire relief actions at Dodger stadium, and the generous donations of Ohtani and others. Jake makes his new jersey number matter and Matt shows why should never challenge an elite athlete to, well, anything really. Pottymouth is killing it in Winter Ball with her picks going to the finals in both the Dominican and Venezuelan leagues. And RIP to Mr. Baseball.

We say, “we saw those tight pants in action,” “What’s an unshady way of saying in cahoots?” and, “He chugged with the style of someone on the video board at a hockey game.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Cross-training That Metaphor

NCiB — Tue, 14 Jan 2025 12:00:00 -0500

Justin, Freddie, and Chris are putting their money where their hearts are to support those fighting the LA wildfires, and those who have lost their homes. You can help too, through the LA Strong collaboration. We lay out all things arbitration deadline for you — who came out on top, and who has the biggest gap remaining. Boyfriends this week are from the Red Sox, where Pottymouth makes good on a promise, and the Cubs, where Patti gets to cross-train with hockey. Juan Soto comes to town to meet young Dominican fan Leonardo Santana, whose video of his living conditions, and his love for Soto, was amplified by Jompéame and became the focus for fundraising in cases of extreme poverty. The family of late Padres owner Peter Seidler looks at the O’s Angelo family and says hold my beer. MLB bans the NYY fans who interfered with Mookie during a World Series game from all things major league baseball, forever.

We say, “The Doogie Houser of baseball,” “Your offense is really talking like a pirate,” and, “buckle the f*&K up.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

A Gentleman and a Walker

NCiB — Tue, 07 Jan 2025 12:00:00 -0500

Not the opening line to a joke, but an intro to our Rays boyfriends. In addition to our TB infielders, we introduce you to our SF guys, where we find sexy defense and too many puns. The hot stove is pretty pitcher-centric with the Subject of our Sentence going to BAL for a year and the long term solution to ARI. Roki Sasaki is enjoying his film festival while evaluating offers from possibly 20 teams. LIDOM is full of winter ball star power and the Cardinales are rocking the LVBP. We cross train with the Presidential Medal of Freedom which brings us a billionaire baseball owner, an NBA legend, and the most decorated soccer player, in addition to our favorite chef and everyone’s favorite Science Guy. Thanks to our generous Patreon friends, we are able to make transcripts available. They are at the Patreon site, but available for free without membership fees (but we do appreciate your support!).

We say, “Stop with your math, I have things to say,” “I want to retroactively explain my oooo,” and, “I don’t think we can get 16 years of Gunnar Henderson for the Magna Carta.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. We now have episode transcripts available! They are available for free at our Patreon site. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Nothing Says the New Year Like Pineapple Rum

NCiB — Tue, 31 Dec 2024 12:00:00 -0500

Happy New Year, Friends! We’ve got Mookie going full Pottymouth, Carlos with extremely bad but a little funny real estate issues, and Shohei letting us cross train with Babe Didrikson. Our TEX boyfriends include a Duran upgrade and a small town boy making good, and CIN brings us a viking and an NBA smackdown. The umpires’ union says sure to the electronic strike zone, and Dave Kaval cuts and runs from the Athletics. Yadi is rocking that LIDOM manager gig, Rougie is player of the week, and there’s still time to book your travel for the Serie del Caribe.

We say LeBron James more than once, “I’m already on my second Ezequiel of the season,” and “bring your half-dog, half-human mythical mash-ups.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Sultry for Christmas

NCiB — Tue, 24 Dec 2024 12:00:00 -0500

Pottymouth and Patti (but not Patti’s voice), take you into a holiday week with boyfriends from Toronto and Pittsburgh. While Pottymouth finds those MA connections, Patti looks at the cooks. Cody Bellinger goes to the Yankees, just like dear old dad, but we are more interested in his girlfriend as a serial MVP dater. MLB releases their report on pitcher injuries – the bottom line is, fault is everywhere except at the pitch clock. There are no more Guarantees at the CWS ballpark, and the public funding for the Rays park keeps rolling.

We say, “You are very powerful but not THAT powerful,” He did not earn anybody a f’n taco,” and “ Yay! Pencil Bat!” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Bonus Episode: The Sports Appraiser

NCiB — Thu, 19 Dec 2024 12:00:00 -0500

On recent shows, Patti and the Pottymouth have talked about Ohtani's 50-50 Ball, Freddie's World Series Grand Slam Ball, and other meaningful baseballs. In this bonus Episode, from The Sports Appraiser Podcast, we bring you the experts to dig deeper: Michael Osacky is a USPAP Compliant sports appraiser and lead appraiser for PSA, which is the world’s largest third party grader of sports collectibles. The Sports Appraiser Podcast helps listeners become smarter about how to collect, value, and care for sports collectibles.

In this episode, Michael explores the history and current value of some of the most iconic home run balls, including those of Mark McGwire, Aaron Judge, Babe Ruth, Barry Bonds, and Hank Aaron. Discover the story behind Shohei Ohtani's home run ball that recently sold for $4.4 million. Learn about what influences the value of these collectibles and what the future might hold.

Please subscribe, follow, like, and leave a review. Email info@Baseballintheattic.com with any questions or comments or visit the website baseballintheattic.com.

Your friends at No Crying in Baseball will be back as usual next Tuesday!

It Could Be a Jillion

NCiB — Tue, 17 Dec 2024 12:00:00 -0500

A 26 year old is a forever Met and is $765 Million richer. A 10 year old is a forever Freddie fan and his parents can send him to college. CHI is making some moves with Kyle and Carson, and TOR is just getting started wth Andres. We introduce our guys from the no-City-designation Athletics and our Washington Nationals, including some goofy, some hot start, some local boy makes good, and some of the best kind of scandal. Winter ball brings us cherry blossom pink, home run derbies in paradise, and celebratory cartwheels. It’s not strictly legal but you too can own part of the Trop. And congrats to Tom Hamilton, and here’s hoping he’s “underway at the corner of Carnegie and Ontario!" for years to come.

We say, “We both had cocktails and it was not going to go anywhere useful,” “he did a lot of putting his mouth before where his money was for a while,” and “that is what always happened to me with that f’in curse jar.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

You Know What They Say About Florida Men

NCiB — Tue, 10 Dec 2024 12:00:00 -0500

Here’s to believing that Pottymouth’s picks for LAA and MIA are men from Florida and not Florida Man. Patti avoids the potential pitfall by concentrating on California instead and exploring the ongoing Taylor vs Tyler naming conventions. We are flabbergasted that Aroldis F’n Chapman can still get a job and this Maura McGurk piece explains it better than we can. We workshop some approaches for a confrontation between Pottymouth and AF’nC such as, “I’m a schoolteacher. How do you explain yourself to my students?” There’s a new MLBPA Executive Committee in place and it is just as pitcher-y and boyfriend-y as always. Plus bonus potential kerfuffle. Patti takes a moment to put public funding for Vegas and St. Pete ballparks into perspective. Japanese pitching legend Ayami Sato becomes the first woman to play baseball professionally in Canada. Our police blotter touches on the civil suit around Tyler Skagg’s death, Shohei’s baseball cards, and the ridiculous Golden At Bat rule that was just floated for the heck of it. Check out our bonus content on the Jonrón Derby over on Patreon.

We say, “Catholics know this word,” “It’s all a scene down in the basement,” and “You don’t want loose bodies.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

David Ortiz’ Black Friday Shopping

NCiB — Tue, 03 Dec 2024 17:46:31 -0500

Baseball teams fed a lot of people, Big Papi bought part of a ballclub, Brandon Crawford retired, LAD signed Blake Snell – how was your holiday weekend? We kick off the new year of baseball boyfriends with our picks for the CWS and COL. This week’s math lesson is how the playoff pool, this year a record-setting > $129 million, gets calculated and distributed to postseason teams. Rudy Guiliani tries to hang on to a handful of World Series rings, and Shohei Ohtani would like those baseball cards back, please. Kim Ng creates “MLB for Softball,” and we’ve got winter ball news from the Dominican Republic, Taiwan, Venezuela, and the, um, Canadian Intercounty Baseball League.

We say, “Rimbonbante,” “My little tongue twister of Venezuelan Ball,” and “What’s the consonant version of numerology?” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Everything is Up in the Air, Except the Roof

NCiB — Tue, 26 Nov 2024 12:00:00 -0500

Happy Thanksgiving week to all our friends – we are so thankful for you, and also that baseball thing. The big awards were announced and we’re surprised by our non-zero prediction success, happy about Stephen Vogt, and bitter about Chris Sale winning and Colton Cowser not. We brush up on hot stove vocab like “tender,” Rule 5, and qualifying offer. Kelsey stands in for Justine in Mexico and Alyssa goes to the Guards which may lead to Patti customizing a Nakken CIty Connect. In political news that we care to discuss, Sen Durbin introduces the Fair Ball Act in a strong pro-labor statement, and the Trop (and its replacement) is in a public-funding quagmire. We cross-train with Jaylen Brown, Bill Nye, Alex Ovechkin, and the Orlando Pride.

We say, “Never put your money where my mouth is,” I could hear the heavy Cy in your voice,” and “Is Rich HIll our new Bartolo Colon?” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Did you have Weapons Charge on your Bingo Card?

NCiB — Tue, 19 Nov 2024 12:00:00 -0500

Wander Franco just keeps trying new things and we’d like him to stop trying to collect the whole set. We try to block out the Juan Soto rumors because it is all a big tease because we’re pretty sure he’ll stay in NYC. The Trop is a wash for this season so the Rays will actually play in Tampa for the first time – thanks to the Yankee’s spring training facility and $15million. The Great Wall of Baltimore is on the move and Patti does not care for it. What’s the point of a neutral environment? Premier12 lets us watch some veterans and spot some up and comers while we bide our time for WBC qualifiers. Shohei’s 50th home run ball is a tourist attraction in Taipei, but who gets the record payout? And PIT throws down a heck of an offer for Paul Skene’s rookie debut patch card. Women baseball players, it’s time time to check in with the new league. Happy birthday, Mr. Pottymouth, our favorite tech support staffer.

We say, “ Here I benefitted from my indecision,,” “Beer is bipartisan,” and “I like having the thing that makes Aaron Judge come off as a baby.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Bluesky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Find Your Way to Cope

NCiB — Tue, 12 Nov 2024 12:00:00 -0500

We are taking a breath and figuring out how to start from where we are. We talk yet more nepo hires, remind you of what the heck a super 2 is, and cover the latest complication in how to just watch the home team play. The Roki Sasaki watch is the next big thing – we’ll help you with the international posting rules, the bonus pools, and why January 15th means big money. Rich Hill and a bunch more “remember some guys” guys have some fun in the Premier12, loanDepot park hosts another international baseball party that we can’t bring ourselves to attend, and Baseball United makes us say “I ain’t gonna play Sun City,” you know, as an example. The Girls Breakthrough Series gives us hope, and Maybell Blair.

We say, “Florida, at this point, is a political cesspool,” “Could be a money grab, could be growing the game,” and “Baseball makes so much more sense than war.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on BlueSky @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Holy Toledo, We’ve Got the WPBL!

NCiB — Tue, 05 Nov 2024 12:00:00 -0500

It’s really happening, the Women’s Professional Baseball League is underway, looking for owners, broadcast deals, and prepping to draft a year from now. Sure, that World Series thing also happened, with Freddie doing all the things, the kid getting the special thing, the Hall of Fame getting the rest of the things, and the LAD flying to the parade on the Patriots AirKraft. Award season begins with the Gold Glove, and Salvy winning the Roberto Clemente honor. The Giants make a nepo hire but maybe that’s okay? We highlight some free agents to watch, and tell you why winter ball just got even more fun. Pottymouth follows the Queerfancystats model of how to still root for your team with that guy on it, and details her donation formula for Boston Alliance of LGBTQ Youth. Happy Birthday, Pottymouth!

We say, “I like Cheese Whiz better,” “Gabriel Moreno remains a bridesmaid,” and “Put us in your earbuds and go stand in line.” Vote, fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Deep Fried and Dancing

NCiB — Tue, 29 Oct 2024 12:00:00 -0400

We say we don’t care but we talk ourselves into rooting for LAD because of sandwiches, some boyfriend math, and general disdain for the NYY. The dads check in – putting Freddie’s last few months in perspective, remembering childhood dreams, and dancing with the other dads. We lost Fernando Valenzuela last week and Pottymouth gives us some context, some history, and some appreciation. And not for nothing, brings up housing policy. The MLBPA Players Choice Awards foreshadow the big ones. We consider the interpreter version of the Mendoza Line and are still working out if it is the Roberts or the Lasorda line. So many familiar faces in winter ball – baseball does not stop when the Series is over! And the Rays evaluate new sites for opening day.

We say, ”I picked both Hernandi,” “I’d eat that sandwich,” and “I’m kind of off billionaires right now.” Make a plan to vote, fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Flyover State Mentality

NCiB — Tue, 22 Oct 2024 12:00:00 -0400

As it turns out, the LAD vs NYY World Series is not *everyone’s* dream match up. Patti and Pottymouth are baseball sad, but yet we persevere. Kyle Manzardo and Tommy Edman show up big, the Temptations show up for Francisco Lindor, Pottymouth wants more chances for Oswaldo Cabrera to show up, and Patti wishes Mark Vientos showed up last year. Pottymouth directs your attention to International baseball in Taiwan, Venezuela, Puerto Rico, and the Dominican Republic because 1) it’s fun, and 2) it’s not LAD vs NYY. And we return suspicious eyes to Baseball United again. Our police blotter looks at FanDuel making a deal for naming rights over the Bally Sports Network channels and MLB’s unclear intentions – do they not want sports gambling names on their “product” or are they just miffed they weren’t asked first? We are going to wallow, re-watch some classic Baltimore crime shows, maybe get some sleep, and probably end up watching the World Series anyway.

We say, “Stephen Vogt got his wisdom from a mentor, you got yours from Kenny Rogers,” You wouldn’t pull Grimace from the lineup if he were in it, would you?, and “I’m drinking beer and sitting in front of a microphone instead of doing the hard work.” Make a plan to vote, fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

I'm Not Leaving My Glove at Home

NCiB — Tue, 15 Oct 2024 12:00:00 -0400

Join us as we check back in with Shalvah Lazarus, the DC Girls Baseball player who we last spoke with 300 episodes ago. What are the paths, the decisions, faced by young women who want to keep playing the game they love as they approach heading to college? RIP to Luis Tiant – so much more than just the wildest wind up ever. We sum up our playoff hopes with Patti’s hometown team and those guys that went from hapless to miracle. Dave Roberts proves to be manipulative and a disappointment. The Monkeys and Lions face off again in the CPBL playoffs. And the roof blows off the Trop. Special thanks to Mr. Pottymouth for stepping in as assistant producer this week.

We say, “Dancing fish heads,” “fuzzy and tall” and “I feel bad about your feelings, not about my actions.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Midwestern Aggression

NCiB — Tue, 08 Oct 2024 12:00:00 -0400

We celebrate the last Jackson standing and lament that the good working people of the midwest cannot watch their teams play in the post season because they work for a living. Patti wants the LAD to be more NYY and get their fans in line. Kyle can’t stop breaking his own records and Bryson has a most excellent birthday even if the guys call him a cheap date. Pottymouth crosstrains with music and we are soto-shuffling and OMG remixing all over town. Buster and Tito get new gigs. Pete does not. What the actual hell with the dog whistle political ads during ballgames? And congrats to KarensKrew, winner of this year’s FBBL.

We say, “lose a Jackson, pick up a Grimace,””Pre Soto-shuffle was Manny being Manny,” and “I could dance it for you but that’s not going to work well on the podcast.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

A Little Bit of Fruity Tartness

NCiB — Tue, 01 Oct 2024 12:00:00 -0400

Oh friends, that’s it for the regular season! As we head into Wild(card) Week, Stone Garrett gets to have one great game, Elly messed with the early season math, and Phillies Daycare is immortalized on the wall of a bar. Nick goes all 162 on a dare, Kiké reminds Patti to get her eyes checked, and people are not showing their best selves over a historic home run ball. Tom Hanks and thousands of other As fans say goodbye to the Coliseum, many taking a piece with them. Some City Connects get retired, and so does Charlie Blackmon. Buckle up for the postseason! If the extra last-day is any indication, we’re in for a ride.

We say, “It is quite an acquired taste and I have not acquired it,” “That’s more impressive than Kiké’s butt,” and “When I decide I care about cricket you know for sure I’m going to ask her about that.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

East Bay for Life

NCiB — Tue, 24 Sep 2024 12:00:00 -0400

Elly breaks records, Bobby breaks records, and that Shohei guy says “hold my beer.” Jackson is not allowed to hold his beer until next year. We crosstrain with Caitlin Clark (and she cross-trains right back) and Green Day (Billy Joe uses his pottymouth powers for good). Teams are clinching their postseason berths and Patti reminds you why wildcard ranking matters. Pottymouth gets to welcome another Kyle into the fold and LaMonte has a homestand at an away series. Matt joins the dad strength club, while CJ gets sent down for too much time at a club. Barbara Gregorich is awarded 2024 Dorothy Seymour Mills Lifetime Achievement Award, and we learn the greatest acronym of all time.

We say, “I’m still gonna hope until there’s no hope,” “That’s hilarious and also insulting,” and, “I want you to do great but I want your team not to win.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Thumbs Up on Dinger

NCiB — Tue, 17 Sep 2024 12:00:00 -0400

Turns out, all the to-do about Kumar Rocker a few years back was worth the wait. Jackson Chourio gives us a 20-20-while-20 and Elly slams when we’re not watching. Non-zero chance of Shohei pitching in the off-season gets treated as a guarantee, while fans pay premiums for a chance to shag his HR #50. Evan Phillips gets a silver bobble and Yamamoto bring a silver lining. Justin Turner gets super powers from his child-decorated cleats in honor of Childhood Cancer Awareness. Youngster Davis hits his 100th and talks slumps, and old guy Matt gets extended with a Buster-like contract. California treats Baseball for All right, there are turf wars in Sacramento, and Christopher Morel takes a day off for his high school graduation. Pottymouth honors Hispanic Heritage Month with a profile of Luis Miguel Castro, first Latin American player in MLB. Patti cross trains with the Washington Spirit and has the sunburn to prove it.

We say, “It’s not that lawyers can’t surf, it’s that they choose not to,” “I love a train with my goth friends,” and, “We’re all doing math we didn’t think we could do in our heads.”Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

“There Are So Many Stories!” See Her, Be Her

NCiB — Tue, 10 Sep 2024 12:00:00 -0400

Patti and Pottymouth had the great joy of sitting down with Jean Fruth and Jeff Idelson, who are bringing their new film “See Her, Be Her,” to MLB Network between games two and three of this year’s World Series. “See Her, Be Her” profiles seven women baseball players in seven different parts of the world, and demonstrates the skill, perseverance, passion, and all-around badassery required to play the game they love. Jean and Jeff tell us about selecting the countries, the athletes, the stories to tell, and why film is the way to do it. We talk about “all these little channels of goodness happening” from Baseball for All to DC Girls Baseball, to Kelsie and Olivia, and being the first ones, to one day getting it all together to create a pipeline for girls and women to play at the highest levels. And how just maybe this film moves that process a little farther down the road. Follow up your listen with a visit to seeherbeher.com to watch the trailer and pre-order the companion book with Jean’s photos and essays by the players from the film and some others you may know. Follow Grassroots Baseball on X or Instagram to stay in the know.

We say, “How can you not be romantic about baseball…but in the worst way?” “Hey Carlton Fisk, it’s me, Pottymouth!” and “Act surprised, Bob, act surprised.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Slumping at Woo

NCiB — Tue, 03 Sep 2024 12:00:00 -0400

Three out of nine Jacksons again get a mention, one for breaking the scoreboard, one for a moment with dad, and one for walking it off. Rich re-takes the hill, the Brewers have a Brewer and this stuff writes itself. We’ve got both a good Zach and an “infuriatingly good” Zach. Joe makes a deal, Michael makes a catch, and Liam makes friends at AAA. Junior and Manny have a moment, Edwin and Alexis wish they didn’t. Come back next week for a special interview with the producers and director of the new documentary, See Her, Be Her.

We say “Everything is bigger at Camden Yards,” “balance my Kiké effervescence,” and “Yahtzee.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

A Mythical Moment

NCiB — Tue, 27 Aug 2024 12:00:00 -0400

While we were sleeping, the Babe’s Called-shot jersey sold for $24million. Scott Servais? Fired. Jason Heyward? “Fired.” Joey Votto? Retired. Elly is better when we are not watching him, and Bobby is just good all the time. Salvy hangs with the neighborhood kids, and Shohei is his own kind of magic. Danny is scheduled to catch his own at-bat while the women tell the tale. And along with Orioles owner David Rubenstein, we cross train with the National Book Festival.

We say, “I can say that because I was quoting a famous author,” Better than a capitalist *without* a heart of gold,” and “That’s not baseball but it’s also not school.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Road Trippin'

NCiB — Tue, 20 Aug 2024 12:00:00 -0400

In this snack size episode, Maisie, our WAZE voice, co-hosts as we record while driving home after Patti and Pottymouth’s excellent adventure. We were billing our Great American Ballpark visit as a showdown between favorite shortstops, but alas Elly didn’t get the memo, nor did he get on base. Bobby did show his MVP chops however. PNC Park continues to be a thing of beauty although not so much the Pirates. We enjoyed two former Nats center fielders (Taylor and Robles) facing off for PIT and SEA. We rooted for the home teams, chatted with the locals, sampled some local beers, and narrowly escaped rainouts. As you might expect, we talk through the Duran apology and aftermath and Pottymouth provides a possible way to redemption. How about those Jacksons?

We say, “Hi, State Trooper,” “I’m sad his F*ck ‘Em shirt is getting a lot of shit,” and “Police Reported Ahead.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

2 Out of 9 Jacksons

NCiB — Tue, 13 Aug 2024 12:00:00 -0400

Sure there may be nine current MLB players named Jackson but we are only talking about two of them. Chourio takes a Henry Aaron stat, and every day is a homer Holliday anymore. Larry and Gavin Sheets share an unfortunate record but at least they have each other. Logan O’Hoppe celebrates his dad’s remission and helps many others in the process. Jack Flaherty and his mom come full circle. Mallory Swanson provides a spectacular opportunity for cross training. MLB has found the only way to get your hosts to a NASCAR track. And you will be deeply missed, Billy Bean.

We say, “Itchy Umpiring,” “Baseball PTSD,” and “I watched the 100 yard dash in its entirety.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

That'll be Funky

NCiB — Tue, 06 Aug 2024 12:00:00 -0400

Surprising no one, we talk about the unique stats of Kiké! And Bobby! We can’t help the exclamation points. We attempt to track the movements of our guys to new teams, to new positions in the batting order, and to the OBGYN. Jackson is doing Manny things, and we’re all over those Heart and Hustle winners. Here’s hoping Danny Jansen gets to play for both sides in the same game. Thanks, MLB for shining a light on the Women’s World Cup. Our Police Blotter is for real this time, and we cross train with the presidential campaign.

We say, “You are there to be their mom,” “It says F asterisk C K ‘em,” and “yacht rock sounds better than fireworks.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

A Little Bit Tart

NCiB — Tue, 30 Jul 2024 12:00:00 -0400

This snack-size episode talks Olympics – baseball next time, baseball-adjacent for now. Salvy has Bobby Junior’s back, and really, everyone else’s too. Manny sure looks good getting his 1000th RBI in Camden Yards, but for the other guys. The Police Blotter provides a teaching moment about what game balls to throw back – not THAT one. Trades are coming at us fast and furious as we approach the deadline, and there’s excitement at the Women’s World Cup. Dylan and Joe give us a fun fact.

We say, “Because it’s frickin’ France,” “if all of the ducks go in their appropriate rows,” and “Elly De La Cruz level of showing off.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Drink a Beer and Eat a Hot Dog with Junior

NCiB — Tue, 23 Jul 2024 12:00:00 -0400

Welcome to Junior Pottymouth, sitting in for Patti who is hiding out in the mountains for a week. Junior’s bf Gunnar (you may have heard of him) and Cal Ripken Collegiate Baseball league legend Jordan Westberg combine for one of those stats you can’t believe people track. Pottymouth dazzles with Elly Math, and Bobby Witt just keeps hitting since the all star break. Cal Ripken Collegiate Baseball league legend James Outman is Back, Man. Pottymouth’s former bf Jarren Duran brings home the ASG MVP. Welcome back to pissy Joe Kelly from the 60 day.

Alec Burleson is now on Patti’s no-fly list due to Trump celly, and now many STL guys are suspect. Nick Castellanos list of home runs at auspicious times continues to grow. Listen for the list! Thom Brennaman may or may not have learned that slurs are bad, and maybe Moneyball doesn’t mean what you think it means. The Syracuse Mets La-Crosstrain with the Haudenosaunee Confederacy and show how meaningful a “theme” night can really be. Hey, why is the ASG going back to ATL? NOTHING HAS CHANGED since it was taken away. Watch the Women’s World Cup!

We say, ”So much cool math out there – I wish I knew how to do it,” “Is this hopeless? I’m never gonna be jacked,” and “Very Ripkenesque, shall we say?” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Lucky, or Sexy?

NCiB — Tue, 16 Jul 2024 23:48:35 -0400

Better late than never as we squeeze this episode in between the Derby and the ASG. Will, Andres, and Zach do Patti proud with defense that may be lucky but is definitely sexy. Jarren Duran has the f*ck ‘em shirt (and soon Pottymouth will too) but Vaughn has the f*ck ‘em attitude. Kiké is on the bump trash talking Kyle from Waltham, while Kevin and Whit are on the outs. Wander Franco solidifies his spot on the NCiB no-fly list and there’s no coming back. Do you want to own a baseball team? Keep your eye on the ball… er Ballers and it can happen. You’ll have to trust us on our Derby picks since we didn’t report out till after, but we keep each other honest.

We say, “A plague of escalators,” “I will cross everything that can be crossed, including that bridge,” and “That’s a lot of squat.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

You Can Keep Your Points, Man, I’m Right

NCiB — Tue, 09 Jul 2024 12:00:00 -0400

West Coast Correspondent Deborah brings her field report from an Oakland Ballers game where it’s always Grateful Dead night, and has Patti wishing for a guest announcing gig. Even in Pottymouth’s absence we check in on Jarren Duran and his f*ck em shirt, and Elly getting all team-matey. MJ Melendez gets the Dynasty Card of his dreams from local fans, Jack Suwinski helps PNC Park run out of home run fireworks. Everything is Just Fine on Deborah’s fantasy team because of Max Fried, a welcome ASG nod to Jesse Chavez, and a late ASG add of Heliot Ramos. Patti shares the joy of a last minute decision to catch James Woods’ debut with Pottymouth. He is Very Tall. We cross train by welcoming Jessica Campbell as the first woman to coach in the NHL, and checking in on multiple opportunities for Bay Area women’s soccer. Just in time for the Home Run Derby, we walk you through the new rules.

We say “Are you more of a Lisa Simpson or more of a Hermione,” “If you’re in your 20’s, there’s a good chance you’re a Spencer,” and “I did spend some taxpayer dollars explaining baseball.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Hold Your Guffaws, It Gets Worse

NCiB — Tue, 02 Jul 2024 12:00:00 -0400

We puzzle through giving benefit of the doubt, trusting one’s gut, and considering suspect timing, plus steaming nose emojis when evaluating the off the field actions of players. Jackson Chourio is hot and Pottymouth is here for it. OMG, José Iglesias! Patti’s new pitcher Gavin Stone nearly has a Maddux, We learn what auto body skills have to do with custom cleats – thanks to Bryson Stott. Our police blotter ensures that we will always be a little afraid of ballpark escalators, and amused by the sliding scale of sticky stuff. Things are hopping in the CPBL with the Lions winning the first half, Yu Chang with the other Guardians, and a potential international baseball partnership among leagues. We question the sponsorship partnership between the Lake County Captains and Roto Rooter resulting in thrones of a different kind behind the plate. And Ashton goes bananas.

We say “Maybe he should not have done the touching and just hit the home run,” “We’re wearing reading glasses – you can hear it in our voices,” and “I’m not paying to sit on a toilet, you can’t make me.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Oaky, With a Hint of Grimace

NCiB — Tue, 25 Jun 2024 12:00:00 -0400

Like a fine single malt scotch, this super-sized episode is packed with sophisticated flavors. We honor the passing of Willie Mays by sharing his legacy through words and not numbers. We look at the first steps that are the Rickwood Field game with the first all-Black umpire team, through the eyes of Masyn Winn, one of the few Black players on the game’s roster, and how far we have to go. In our boyfriend segment we note numerous names on the IL, gigantic hits, and a tiny, adorable (cheers!) first pitch. We may have kicked off our Dylan Crews Watch. Our Police Blotter features the first game won on a pitch clock violation walk off. And Pottymouth leads a deep dive into the cultural significance of Grimace.

We say, “Boom! F*&k! Boom! F*&k!,” “WebMD doesn’t have Craig Counsell saying ‘walk it off!’,” and “Willie Mays would have totally been a boyfriend.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Summer Pottymouth Mode

NCiB — Tue, 18 Jun 2024 12:00:00 -0400

Jonah and José spend Father’s Day weekend shoring up their Dad power. Masyn and Joey have us rethinking our ROY predictions. More of Patti’s pitchers hit the IL, and Pottymouth admits to over-gloating. That’s a real thing. Well-respected umpire Pat Hoberg is the first official to run afoul of MLB’s sports betting rules but he does not think that’s the case. On the happy betting side, Toronto’s 50/50 raffle is changing lives. The Cards crosstrain with the NBA, and Curt Miller, head coach of the Sparks, talks Pride Month visibility. If it’s Bull Durham: A New Musical, does that mean we missed the old musical?

We say, “Here I am on summer break talking about splitting infinitives,” “Less adorable, more adult beverage,” and “I have like 1,000 follow up questions and you haven’t even told me the story yet.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

That Spring and Boing and the Power

NCiB — Tue, 11 Jun 2024 12:00:00 -0400

Join us as we math it out, suss it out, and legitimately incorporate the phrase “Tequila Shots” into a sports discussion. Pottymouth’s roster has an abundance of Ellys and a teaching moment about catching home runs in a full beer. Her recent history is dotted with Dodgers Hernandi, one for heroics, one for the dangers of being mic’d up while at work. Patti’s team has a pitcher getting booed in Yankee Stadium for all the right reasons, and a late roster add coming through big. Bfs past and once and forever show up with the slams. We roll Mental Health Month on into June as MLB players speak out and support their own. In our Police Blotter, Tucupita Marcano gets Pete Rose-d, and Ty Cobb’s granddaughter gets booted for trying to bring reason to a private Facebook group. The Phils and Mets lean in hard to their London visit, and Pottymouth comes through big on her NBA crosstraining assignment. Kelsie does it again. Happy Pride, everyone!

We say, “known breaker of people,” “I have two thoughts and it will be amazing if I remember both of them,” and, “look at your local government helping people have a good time.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

The New MVP of Record

Voxtopica — Tue, 04 Jun 2024 12:00:00 -0400

Josh Gibson finally gets his due as greatest hitter of all time, now let’s name the award after him. Stats from the Negro Leagues are finally integrated into the MLB stats and we see how opportunity affects counting stats vs rate stats. Winn and Volpe snap some streaks and in one case we end up with a DiMaggio sandwich. We lose more bfs to the IL – Grissom is back out, Means and Wells are season-ending out. Patti is grateful Yoshinobu is holding his own and her closer is back. Joey Gallo is in line for dad power now that the secret is out. Although we cannot endorse flinging gloves into the stands, we do feel for Jorge Lopez. The NCAA baseball tournament is on, and we check in on our adopted D1 and DIII teams. We crosstrain with women’s hockey champions, and Celtics doing good work.

We say, “Quite the pucker there,” “It was condiment Friday. Put a cardigan over it and it’s dressy,” and “I can’t believe I couldn’t put 2 and 2 together and get 7.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Tip Your Servers

Voxtopica — Tue, 28 May 2024 12:00:00 -0400

We share important life lessons from the wide world of baseball, including, keep your popcorn close, watch the rebound, and tipping the bullpen cart driver is good karma. Patti risks killing streaks by bringing up CLE wins and Volpe hits. Former NCiB boyfriends give Pottymouth a chance to talk about her favorite play, stealing home. LaMonte Wade, Jr takes the upcoming Rickwood Field game honoring the Negro Leagues as a chance to talk representation right now. Are the Birmingham Southern Panthers the new America’s team? They will be competing in the College World Series representing a school that will no longer exist at that time. We cross-train with the Professional Women’s Hockey League, talk upgrades in Sacramento, and lament US WBC locations while low-key making travel plans.

We say, “Warmer cities are more problematic, generally,” “The first vegetarian you get, throw them my way, and “It’s a long, stupid story, so of course I’m going to go into it.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Illegal, Therefore Against the Law

NCiB — Tue, 21 May 2024 12:00:00 -0400

In which we pin down math around catching foul balls, our medical thoughts of pregnancy vs belly button rings (congrats to Cole Tucker and Vanessa Hudgens BTW), and our astute observation that betting with an illegal bookie is illegal whether it’s on baseball or not. It’s in the name. Elly continues to exceed expectations, Vaughn does not but maybe if he eats a sandwich things will kick in. Alan Rickman and Adley Rutchsman combine for Patti’s favorite homerun call. We learn that it doesn’t matter if it’s just rosin and sweat, it just can’t be on the glove. Sorry, Ronel. Jenny Cavnar and Julia Morales make broadcasting history. Valerie Perez goes full Bananaball. David Rubenstein sure looks like a man of the people and while that’s fun to watch we are holding out for definitive proof.

We say “you’ve just taken this the way of belly button rings,” It’s gotta stack up to Grease and Footloose,’ and “Shoulda just taken a plane to Vegas.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Very Fact-Adjacent

NCiB — Tue, 14 May 2024 12:00:00 -0400

Welcome to West Coast Corresponded Deborah, filling in for Patti who is off celebrating our intern’s graduation. Deborah’s bfs are making up for lack of bats with all the steals. Elly continues to climb the all time steal boards, and Zack Short becomes Zack Short Stay. Willson Contreras’ injury leads to some choices about how to avoid catcher interference dangers – robo umps? Catcher’s box? How ‘bout that other Contreras, leading the Brewers? Paul Skenes debuts to comparisons to Stras, including Cutch batting lead off for both. We have to talk about an interpreter but we’d rather tell animal stories. Stay tuned for snakes, weirdly fast turtles, and a chill pelican. Hey! Make your travel plans to see the Ballers! Deborah brings some Bay Area cross-training balance to the all Boston all the time situation.

We say, “general skullduggery,” “I’m glad these girls have something to scream for,” and “a butterfly flapped its wings in Argentina, y’know?” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Catastrophic Seam Failure

NCiB — Tue, 07 May 2024 12:00:00 -0400

It’s the Cinco de Mayo episode where the limes are organic and the salt is Kosher. Pottymouth’s Vaughn Grissom watch is rewarded, Luis lights it up, and Maysin makes her roster. For Patti, John Means business and Jack Suwinski can sure time a hit. Josés are in trouble and just when you think he can’t achieve any more firsts, Judge gets ejected. Did you see that Luis Arráez trade coming? We sure did not. The Police Blotter teaches us the difference between Community Labor and Community Service, and maybe the MLBPA should have enlisted the moms sooner to get the unis fixed. We share a minor league beer tip, and mull the potential consequences of sticking with a rally sausage. So much crosstraining for our Boston host.

We say, “It;s a hard tossup between Short and Booser,” “Sit on the Wee Green Monster, “ and ”There are two kinds of people in the world – the ones who want to know that the baseball players are going commando, and those who do not.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Defense is Sexy: The Cocktail

NCiB — Tue, 30 Apr 2024 12:00:00 -0400

As we lament the boyfriends we did not select for our fantasy teams, we observe Passover with mezcal. Should we have gone with Logan O’Hoppe and Joey Ortiz? Solid maybe. Mike Tauchman and the oppo Tauchos? Unrelated to the Mexico series tacos, of course. Patti’s guys Zach, Will, and Evan are crushing the multi-hit games, and Pottymouth favorite Elly is on track for a ridiculous number of stolen bases (Pottymouth’s math is SOLID.) LAD pitching is not just crazy good, it is death-defying. Josh Naylor gives us an “always gonna be a boyfriend” moment. Our Police Blotter features a few takes on the rules don’t apply to me viewpoint, as both the “victim” and the enforcer. Houston and Colorado take the Show on the road to Mexico City, and a taco tour ensues. We need a study done on dad strength vs. hamate surgery superpowers.

We say “I love me a good loophole,” “spanked with Mezcal,” and “a brief moment of shirtlessness.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Boosers, Closers, and the Yeet

NCiB — Tue, 23 Apr 2024 12:00:00 -0400

Kenley Jansen and Craig Kimbrel are climbing to the top of the all time saves list so the takeaway is don’t yeet the ball from the last out. Looking at you, Colton “more cowbell” Cowser. Andrew hits homer #300, Adley hits grand slam #1, and Josh hits his head. On purpose. Neto can’t get a day off, Oswaldo can but Pottymouth says please don’t – or maybe yes? Elly remains good at baseball, and Patrick is finally off the IL. Patti loves the collaborative “people’s celly” of the BAL hydration station – because there’s no “I” in Team. Pottymouth considers a Booser jersey, and a game day on a lazy river.

We say, “big-ass leg bone,” “that sounded a little dirty,” and “”Jinxarella.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

If We Took a Holliday

NCiB — Tue, 16 Apr 2024 12:00:00 -0400

Our first visit to OPACY this season was an anticipated debut, a miracle of (not)rain, and a much heralded yet underwhelming Jackson vs Jackson smackdown. And lots of attention to the number seven. Elly has us considering a road trip to CIN, and Vaughn makes us think Worcester is nice this time of year. Zach has six runs to his credit in only one game, but the wrong direction. Spencer is down for the count but now we know more about internal braces, so there’s that. Brianna Wakefield’s knuckleball is our favorite pitch of the week. Julio Urias is buried in misdemeanors of his own making, and Ohtani’s interpreter apparently used his powers for evil. Venezuela hosts their 14th annual Women’s Baseball Championship and prepares for Thunder Bay. And we’re off to cross train with hockey.

We say “Lions, just lions, all the time. Rawr,” “my betting consists of when a relative gives me a scratch off lottery ticket,” and “We’re gonna have an L of a good time.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Bullies, Bastards, and Boneheads

NCiB — Tue, 09 Apr 2024 12:00:00 -0400

We workshop the LMB acronym to account for the Mexican League signing players of questionable character. We aren’t just yanking Verdugo’s chain, we are teaching you valuable vocabulary in multiple languages. We review your four options when you catch a home run ball during a game, starting with It Belongs To You. A little over a week in and our guys with slow starts are getting the bats in gear. We’ve got home runs bouncing off gloves and walls, we’ve got new nicknames (Turn and Burn O’Hearn!), and platelet infusions. Elly impresses off the field too, conducting his first press conference all in English. Wish wish Stephen Strasburg well on his retirement and as Nats fans we thank him for his service. Pottymouth turns our attention to Baseball United, the Dubai-based program that is attracting lots of attention and dollars from former MLB greats, and now Ronald Acuña Jr as well. We remain suspicious. Shane and Spencer, just this Saturday, join the ranks of seriously injured pitchers and the MLBPA and MLB argue over the role of the pitch clock in all of this. Compton’s MLB Youth Academy hosts the BFA Women’s College Club Baseball Championships. Patti and Pottymouth got up early Saturday morning to make friends with Yankee fans for an important cause. We participated in a live stream marathon “Pinstripes for a Cause” to help raise money for the World Parkinson Coalition. If you want to see us on coffee instead of craft beer, we start at 1:30 into the stream. Please consider adding your donation and add “Pinstripes for a Cause” or No Crying in Baseball to the notes.

We say, “That’s a Darwin test,” “One set of biceps was more productive than the other,” and “Is he pulling one of your six chains?” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Spikes

NCiB — Tue, 02 Apr 2024 12:00:00 -0400

Welcome to Season 8 of No Crying in Baseball! Join us as we laugh, fight, make (probably) terrible predictions, and drink beer from the North (and the northeast). Pottymouth is team Jeff, and Patti is team Rhys and everything gets back to Dustin and Manny. We talk Opening Day – Did Patti write the talking points for the new Os ownership? She’s definitely shopping for a Maryland Tough Baltimore Strong tee shirt. Tyler is Pottymouth’s new best friend and she is feeling good about her Oswaldo and Chourio picks and already lamenting Royce. A’s fans did what A’s fans do best. We love that the TEX World Series rings have hidden leather from winning baseballs (and a map!) but are a little worried about the ring tops getting lost.

We say, “a maple leaf off the tree,” “do not travel after questionable oat milk,” and “you gave me the boring kerfuffle.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth

What Did Shohei Know and When Did He Know It?

NCiB — Tue, 26 Mar 2024 12:00:00 -0400

As we head to Opening Day, we bring you our fantasy lineups, walk you through the whole Ohtani kerfuffle, and Optimist Patti enjoys her new nickname. Blake Snell finds a team at last, while Francisco Lindor and Edwin Diaz make a video showing their love for Puerto Rico. Optimist Patti makes a pro/con list for Peter Angelos. There are no winners. Our Police Blotter, in addition to a primer on MLB gambling rules for players and staff, highlights TB’s (not Tampa Bay’s) alternate Spring Training, and either a “Breach of Etiquette” or “dick move,” you pick. Pottymouth considers fake phone numbers as a way to swing access to breakfast baseball, and Patti explains Prospect Promotion Incentive in order to will Jackson Holliday into an early debut. While the rest of the sportsworld obsesses over brackets, Pottymouth crosstrains with the NBA.

We say, “You anthropomorphized the jerseys,” “You get Short and Beer and I get Wisdom and Burger and its a party,” and “You just turned into a team owner at arbitration.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Fresh Like Milk, Aged Like Wine

NCiB — Tue, 19 Mar 2024 12:00:00 -0400

In a weakened moment of falling for Pottymouth logic, Patti agrees to a change in our fantasy team rules and we select pitchers from two teams instead of just one. Pottymouth shares her picks from the Mariners and Phillies, and Patti goes Dodgers/Orioles. We don’t think Josh Winckowski’s excuse will get you out of jury duty but it worked for him, sort of. What’s a “brace procedure” and why are we just hearing of this? The Rancho Cucamonga Quakes allow Pottymouth to teach us more Spanish vocabulary words. The Seoul Series brings us exhibition games, an early start to the regular season, cheerleaders, and an introduction to professional basketball player Mamiko Tanaka, who also happens to be married to that Shohei guy. We close with Nick Castellano’s milk or wine wisdom.

We say “I appreciate a fellow Pottymouth when I see one,” “We’re shooting for the wine but we’re drinking the Blarney Stoned,” and “recovery periods vary by owner.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Smooth as Mayo

NCiB — Tue, 12 Mar 2024 12:00:00 -0400

In our last week of profiling position players, or “Adley Day” in Patti’s world, we pick our guys from the Os and ATL. For BAL, Ryan O’Hearn gets the Pottymouth nod with an extra point for Bull Durham, while Patti sticks with her once and forever catcher. For The Hammers, Patti picks spring training standout Eli White and Pottymouth corrects a wrong while selecting Orlando Arcia. Joey finds a home at home, bad boy Josh retires, Mookie heads to short, and Lance gets tossed from the dang bullpen. Punishments come down for the LVBP brawl, women “pave the way” in Road to the Show, and the proposed Vegas ballpark distracts everyone from complaining about pants. Watch the kids play in Spring Breakout!

We say, “Distracted from pants by armadillos,” I hate it when things f*&k up my pickle,” and discuss condiments a surprising amount. Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

C-Words and Sand Worms

NCiB — Tue, 05 Mar 2024 12:00:00 -0500

Kiké and Tony Clark dance around the idea of collusion, and let Fanatics take the lead on talking about pants. Robinson Canó heads to Mexico, Matt heads back to the Bay, and Brandon does what needs to be done. For Tampa Bay, Pottymouth completes her Lowe brothers set and Patti remembers the fun of the WBC and picks Paredes. Over at the Dodgers, Pottymouth goes with the flow and selects James Outman, while Patti chooses Diego Cartaya and his bodybuilder mom. Crosstraining Congratulations to Caitlin Clark for setting an NCAA scoring record, and cheers to Shohei for that whole getting married thing.

We name check the Brady Bunch and the Simpsons, and say “stare at some butts to see if they are transparent,” “I needed to fall off that pedestal,” and “I like how you made numerology recreational-drug related.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Marty Barrett, Ted Williams, and John Updike

NCiB — Tue, 27 Feb 2024 12:00:00 -0500

Nothing like an Adley HR against BOS the first day of spring training to spike co-host conflict, er, cause us to demonstrate how one should behave in civil society. Patti’s vocabulary lesson is “pillow contract” in the context of Belli and Tim. Hosmer retires leaving behind a range of feels. Tim Mayza’s fantasy league punishment may send our FBBL all sorts of questionable ways. It’s always a challenge to pick HOU bfs, but Pottymouth finds much to praise about Jake Meyer’s off-season mental focus and Patti wants to have a beer with Grae Kessinger’s grandfather. For the Brewers, Pottymouth selects Jackson Chourio, who finds a way to set an example even at his young age. Patti picks recent O, now Brewer, Joey Ortiz, and lies with exact figures about following his minor league career. There is so much to say about pants, from fashion to labor, to modesty concerns. Patti gets to hold Marty Barrett’s bat, and Pottymouth gets to keep it. We end with an excerpt from John Updike's essay about Ted Williams’ last game. Join us over at Patreon for a tag-team reading of the whole, beautiful tribute.

We say “We are a coup-free fantasy league,” “pants is a labor issue,” and “So many letters at this time of beer.”

Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Frivolous February

NCiB — Tue, 20 Feb 2024 12:00:00 -0500

Spring training has begun, there are still key free agents out there, there’s some arbitration scorekeeping to do, and will it take all five years to get some women on the short list for the next commissioner of baseball? This week we talk boyfriends on the World Series champion Rangers – Jonah Heim for Pottymouth and Patti’s early claim on Evan Carter is confirmed. Over at the Phils, Pottymouth visits the Nick Castellanos school of buttons for her Johan Rojas selection, and Patti picks Bryson Stott and his mom. Huge news for women on and off the field as Jen Pawol umps in the Grapefruit League and Jenny Cavnar takes the primary play by play seat for the As. The mayor of Oakland plays hardball, and it turns out that record setting numbers of people will in fact pay to see talented women play hockey.

We say, “That sounds a little bit stalkerish,” “Whenever you get to play pinball and drink a local beer, it’s a good night,” and, “He unbuttoned his button and it never again rebuttoned.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Surprisingly Little NFL Crosstraining

NCiB — Tue, 13 Feb 2024 12:00:00 -0500

The Royals lock down Bobby Witt, Jr. for 11 years, and HOU says yes to Jose Altuve for another five. The arbitration scoreboard is currently tipped in the players’ direction at the halfway point, including a record-setting win for Vladdy. We wish Corey Kluber all the best in his retirement, Patti with much happier memories than those of Pottymouth. This week we look at Toronto, where Pottymouth selects Kevin Kiermaier with a really we haven’t picked him yet, and Patti highlights Davis Schnieder partly for getting to say “dirtbags” but mostly for the glove story. Happy birthday to ARI catcher and new Pottymouth pick Gabriel Moreno, and Patti’s aiming for the clouds outfielder, Alek Thomas. We discuss the comedy/tragedy possibilities with the new Netflix series following the Red Sox. Our police blotter features no work for Billy Eppler this year for playing fast and loose with the IL, and teachers keep on poking at the public funding for the A’s Vegas ballpark. Mayors of both Oakland and Las Vegas gang up on A’s ownership. The Serie de Caribe set more attendance records, featured a no-hitter, lots of pod favorites on the field and in the stands, and a championship to Venezuela.

We say “my flame has been extinguished,” my polar bear no longer has bloat,” and “taking lemons and making limoncello.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Good Morning, Baltimore

NCiB — Tue, 06 Feb 2024 12:00:00 -0500

Patti is practically giddy with new ownership and a new Ace for the Os. Our new guys for Seattle are actually the newest guys for Seattle, Jorge Polanco and Samad Taylor. For Miami, Pottymouth selects Vidal Bruján and Patti makes it two consecutive De La Cruz weeks with her pick of Bryan. We cross train hard with hockey, from our cask-beer fueled hockey shoot out, to Joey Votto menacing mascots, to hug cellies gone bad. Lots of our favorites are playing in the Serie del Caribe, hosted in Miami. You should watch!

We say “Worried about the hug fallout,” “Bus-lagged,” and “You are so good at talking the world into believing a cocktail is health food.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Are you a MAS*H watcher or a MASH doer?

NCiB — Tue, 30 Jan 2024 12:00:00 -0500

Not sure if it is our pride or our ages talking but we’ve reached the point where active players we’ve profiled on the show are now Hall of Famers. Congrats to Joe Mauer and Adrian Beltre, and also to Todd Helton even if he was before our (NCiB) time. The hot stove takes Philly favorite Rhys Hoskins to MIL, and brings Cookie Carrasco home to CLE. Joc Pederson tries out yet another NL West team, and the Nats bring Joey Gallo to a ballpark near us. Congrats on the retirement, Collin McHugh, and please spend some of it reactivating your podcast. We profile a couple of 2023 rookie sensations for the Twins, Royce Lewis and Edouard Julien. Over in Wrigley, Pottymouth selects Mike Tauchman and Patti picks Patrick Wisdom. Congrats to the LIDOM champion Tigres de Licey, and to the Ozzie Guillen-managed Tiburones for bringing both a brawl and a drought-breaking championship to the LVBP. We are angry and mournful at the theft of the Jackie Robinson statue from a Wichita park. We are ticked we were beaten to all the good “total eclipse” jokes as the Guardians ponder opening day in totality. Hey check out this super-fun Galentine’s event hosted by Babe’s Babes that we joined last week!

We say “My drum kit was a big squirrel,” “We picked licking his bat as a battle and that was so wrong,” and “There should be a Gallo blossom out there somewhere.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Grimace Adjacent

NCiB — Tue, 23 Jan 2024 12:00:00 -0500

Snow days are fun but they do not keep us from thinking about the boys of summer. It’s always tricky for us to pick our NYY bfs because of, well, general vitriol. But we persevere and end up disliking the team a little less. Pottymouth wants the team to give Oswaldo Cabrera a real shot, and Patti can’t help appreciating the deep fandom in Anthony Volpe’s family. For the Reds, Pottymouth goes for taller twin Elly de la Cruz, and Patti reads “DFA” and instead sees “Immaculate Grid” in Stuart Fairchild. Patron saint of the pod, Sean Doolittle, puts his big brain to work for the Nationals, and Dusty just can’t make retirement stick. The looking for a home As lead the Police Blotter with yet another complete dismissal of their fan base and find another team called the Bees to push around. The Cuban Professional Baseball Federation finds some exhibition games to play as politics bring an international tournament in Colombia to a stop, and winter ball heads to the finals. The Os open a state of the art academy in the Dominican Republic, calling it the most important accomplishment of the last several years. Hang on for the Hall of Fame reveal, and go, Ravens!

We say, “Pulaski cow,” “good news on the AC/DC front,” and, “Anybody who’s read Winne the Pooh knows you don’t f*&^ with the Bees.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Fly Like a Pigeon

NCiB — Tue, 16 Jan 2024 12:00:00 -0500

Supersized weekend, supersized episode! Who do we want to have a beer with this week? Pottymouth plays her once and forever card and hangs on to Vaughn Grissom, now that he’s with the Red Sox. Patti selects Harper superfan Masataka Yoshida and his little dog too. For the Padres, Pottymouth gets to say Anzoátegui in reference to José Azócar and Patti picks home run trick shot hitter Matthew Batten. It’s arbitration time so we talk deals and holdouts. How can Stroman be a Yankee? Teoscar’s LAD deal leads to a reuse, recycle, repurpose jersey discussion as well as pondering of Dodger money management. Again with the Wander and Julio mentions in the Police Blotter! Congrats to Luisa Gauci, new MIL hitting coach, and Rachel Balkovec, new farm director for MIA.

We say, “Blind faith is our friend,” “always hold on to a Diaz,” and, “I like that on the eve of the Iowa Caucus you’re worried about a weird President. Oh. PREC-I-DENT.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

A’s, B’s, and More AC/DC

NCiB — Tue, 09 Jan 2024 12:00:00 -0500

Character counts, making Bs more valued than As in Oakland. Elsewhere in the Police Blotter the Wander Franco story is growing into a flat out horror show. In a much happier place, we profile guys from the Tigers and Giants. For DET, Pottymouth selects Heart and Hustle nominee Matt Vielring and Patti goes for his almost twin Gold Glove finalist Zach McKinstry. For San Francisco, it’s the Grandson of the Wind Jung Hoo Lee for Pottymouth, and West Coast Correspondent favorite Late Night Lamonte Wade, Jr. for Patti. We wish Uncle Mike Brantley well on his future career as a little league coach, and ponder the next breaking starting pitcher story.

We say, “It’s a variable groove. I need a consistent groove, “I think God intended it was Haaahwich,” and “You bartended the heck out of that.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Rust Belt Boyfriend Week

NCiB — Tue, 02 Jan 2024 12:00:00 -0500

We kick off our own New Years Rockin’ Eve with boyfriends from the Guardians and Pirates. Pottymouth goes hopeful with CLE prospect Kyle Manzardo, and Patti selects Will Brennan, Tito’s pal from way back. For PIT, Liover Peguero plays right into Pottymouth’s English teacher heart while Patti looks to her roots with Jack Suwinski. The Red Sox bring on Giolito and trade away Sale and Pottymouth comes to terms with it all. Where’s Wander leads off the Police Blotter, followed by Fox being Fox with the wrong Frank Thomas, and Patti gets all Monopoly money with the Competitive Balance Tax. Winter Ball heads into finals and Pottymouth ponders turning her fantasy ball prowess into international travel. Happy New Year, friends!

We say “They’re all gonna learn AC/DC,” “He didn’t want his groove harshed,” and, “I would prefer watching Boston Sports to playing 80s Trivial Pursuit.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

LAD Out Yankeed the Yankees

NCiB — Tue, 26 Dec 2023 12:00:00 -0500

The Dodgers claim Yamamoto and Patti claims Dodgers pitching for FBBL, just that fast. Just when we thought Verdugo could not sink any lower, he goes after his former manager for holding him accountable for his actions, and forces us to agree, a little, with Papelbon. This week’s boyfriends represent LAA and NYM. Pottymouth selects LAA catcher Logan O’Hoppe, not just because it is fun to say his name, but it helps. Patti goes for SS Zach Neto, a little for the leg kick and a lot for his mom. Over at the Mets, it’s another Zack - this time “great teammate” Zack Short , while Patti chooses Brett Baty and his “big Texas Boy power.” The Cubs promote Megan Jones to VP of Baseball Strategy, their first woman VP in baseball ops. Wander Franco rakes in a bonus while under investigation, and the Rules committee, stacked with owners, pushes through some changes that no players voted for. It's a done deal, the Os stay at OPACY for another 30 years. Patti has a swaggy little Christmas while Pottymouth waves to Fenway and hangs with Dad.

We say “shipping Shohei and Santa,” “Circumventing circumvention, “ and “back to back Zach to Zack.’ Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Moms, Dads, and Oh Yeah the Ohtani Thing

NCiB — Tue, 19 Dec 2023 12:00:00 -0500

Ashley Kelly is the real hero of the Shohei Ohtani deal but we break it down anyway because it lets Patti do math and reference the Disney Prince, Betts, Freeman, and Yamamoto, but not the dog. Pottymouth leans into the CWS history with Cuban player and selects Oscar Colás Leon, while Patti picks brand new teammate and exceptional dad, veteran catcher Max Stassi. Our STL bfs include Pottymouth’s choice of Masyn Blaze Winn for all the mom reasons, and Patti goes for her second Nolan of the season, Nolan Gorman. Justine Siegal takes Baseball for All on the road, with tournaments in Costa Rica, Hawaii, and the Leighton Accardo Invitational with the Arizona Peaches. We encourage you to support her great work providing opportunities for girls to play baseball. Catch up on the LVBP Pepsi Jonrón Derby where you’ll see lots of familiar bats. Our Police Blotter visits the LA County DA’s office, and touches on the Tampa Bay Hostages. Congrats to the family of Larry Doby, as he receives the Congressional Gold Medal posthumously, on the occasion of his 100th birthday.

We say, “How many is hep?” “Insinuation is very close to implication,” and, “You’re really trying to make numerology happen.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Daddy Issues: So Many Juniors

NCiB — Tue, 12 Dec 2023 12:00:00 -0500

Just when you thought the Soto trade was going to be the news of the week, Ohtani signed with LAD, pushing contract numbers so far into Monopoly money they may never come back. The rest of the league was busy playing “where’s Evan,” bringing Fedde back from the KBO, and moving around more Nicks. In our second week of profiling boyfriends, we look at the Royals and our hometown Nationals. Pottymouth collects some Garcias, including softball teammate of Acuña, Jr., Maikel Garcia of KC, and a very specific Luis Garcia of WAS, both giving her the opportunity to reference her Jerry Garcia BOS jersey. Patti talks Juniors, starting with KC’s MJ Melendez, who’s record vs BOS allows her to ALSO reference Garcia night at Fenway, and Stone Garrett, proving the success of hard work with an assist from LinkedIn. The Winter Ball out of line behavior of Ronald Acuña, Sr. has us saying Daddy way too many times. The draft lottery gives CLE its first #1 pick ever, and are the Os really for sale?

We say “I shipped him with himself,” “It’s not a Flintstones reference,” and “Blame it on the cheesecake beer.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

An Abundance of Nicks

NCiB — Tue, 05 Dec 2023 12:00:00 -0500

Boyfriend season begins with Pottymouth checking in after an afternoon of visiting breweries in Tennessee (be warned). We lead off with Oakland and Colorado – Pottymouth choosing a pair of Diaz-es (what’s the plural of Diaz?), Jordan and Elias, and Patti selecting yet another Nick and also Nolan 2.0. Awards continue to trickle in, including a team philanthropic award to the Reds for an impressive, long term collaboration, Outstanding DH, and Relievers of the year. Oakland moves on from As to Bs, we cross train with Olympic Swimming and the police blotter, and ask for more context on the drug testing. Pottymouth digs deeper into Baseball United, and the drum that was the soundtrack to every baseball game Patti ever saw in Cleveland makes it to Cooperstown.

We say “Shotskis with Justin Turner”, “I bet it was a numerology thing,” and “I’m wearing my skeptical face.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Season of Giving, Spoils of War, You Decide

NCiB — Tue, 28 Nov 2023 12:00:00 -0500

This Thanksgiving weekend Patti and the Pottymouth cross-trained with hockey, Led Zeppelin, assembling IKEA furniture, beer farms, and unsuccessful mousing. MLB players, however, leaned into the giving with Andrew Vaughn working with Digs for DIgnity to assist a family emerging from homelessness, Hunter Greene outfitting hundreds of kids with brand new cleats, and Pablo López supporting pet rescue through pickleball. Playoff teams voted on how to divide their percentage of the postseason gate, sharing “life-changing money” with support staff who helped them get there. Hall of Fame balloting was announced and former NCiB boyfriends are starting to make the list. Winter ball in the DR is featuring familiar faces including Tatis, Jr., Ramirez, Profar, and Aquaman. Baseball United has kicked off in Dubai with appearances by Big Sexy, cricket players, Justine Siegal, and a 6-run HR. We don’t think “moneyball” means what you think it means. Pottymouth wants you to play LVBP fantasy with her. An NBA family reminds us that players are more than pawns in the game. Next week we kick off a new group of baseball boyfriends with the A’s and Rockies. Join our Patreon so you can watch us record “backstage!”

We say “cabana injuries,” “you would have known if there were cowbells,” and “we’re only drinking barrel-aged beverages today.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

So. Much. Unanimous.

NCiB — Tue, 21 Nov 2023 12:00:00 -0500

We couldn’t be more pleased with the unanimous votes for RoY and MVP. Not so thrilled with the owners voting unanimously to send Oakland’s team to Vegas. Props to Gunnar for his sexy defense and leading all rookies in HRs, and to Corbin for being the first Diamondback to win RoY, and the first ever to win with 25HRs and 50SBs. Shohei’s second MVP win was a surprise to no one and Miggy’s enthusiasm for Ronald’s title led us down a “we’re not sure he should say that in front of children” path. Still not sure, but we’re distracted by Acuña’s immediate and remarkable LVBP debut moments after the announcement. Dusty has us re-evaluating Ron’s past as he takes over the LAAs. New Mets manager Carlos Mendoza thanks his wife for sacrificing her career for his. There are more than 60 new free agents as of Friday’s non-tender deadline, and one new one this week as Yoshinobu Yamamoto season kicks off. Fisher may have gotten his As move past the owners, but still has to contend with Nevada’s teachers and Oakland’s mayor. MLB picks markets over justice as it hands the 2025 ASG back to ATL. No riding the coattails of the successful pitch clock – tinkering has already begun. The top 30 girls playing HS ball came together for the Breakthrough Series last weekend, and this week brings the 2nd All American Women's Baseball Classic. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!

We say “the level of dammit,” “one person’s manipulation is another person’ strategizing,” and answer the age-old question, “What do French people wear on their feet?” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Tommy John and Trombones

NCiB — Tue, 14 Nov 2023 12:00:00 -0500

It was a “pretty fun day” for Stephen Vogt, named manager for the Guards, less so for David Ross in the surprise loss of his CHI gig, and downright polarizing in regards to Craig Counsell’s historic contract prompting another manager to muse about unionization. The Gold Glove and Silver Slugger awards lead Mauricio Dubón for multiple Honduran firsts, Ha Seong Kim to a first for Asian-born MLB players, and a Pottymouth first as she finally remembered to vote for Platinum Glove. We ponder the steady increase in Tommy John surgeries (more diagnoses or more stress on arms?) and consider staying away from where GMs gather to avoid stomach bugs. Oakland’s mayor incorporates swag and economic greed in her appeal to owners to vote against an A’s move to Vegas. Nelson Cruz concludes his LIDOM farewell tour in time for Citifield to welcome Los Tigres del Licey and Las Águilas Cibaeñas for a three game series to packed houses. Rush’s Geddy Lee, with a surprising amount of baseball cred, prepares to auction 300 items from his stunning collection of baseball memorabilia. Please support USA Baseball’s Anna Kimbrel in her Baseball at Heart effort to fund more girls baseball clinics in Uganda.

We say, “more Rockers in baseball,” “multiple Funnars,” and “he chews too much tobacco to be my boyfriend.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Cooling our Heels and Firing up the Stove

NCiB — Tue, 07 Nov 2023 17:47:54 -0500

After supporting the local adult-beverage economy in honor of Pottymouth’s birthday, we give a little love to the World Series, including the parade with dogs, flying beer, mic drops, and possibly chaps, and move on to Hot Stove Season. Patti previews what to expect when – options accepted and declined, qualifying offers, trades, and full-on free agent negotiations. We ponder big moves like Joey’s lifetime with CIN coming to a close, and Nelson’s lifetime in the sport winding down. Mookie makes a questionable judgement call. MLB’s settlement with the Valley Cats and the Sea Unicorns ends another opportunity for the Supreme Court to re-examine baseball’s anti-trust exemption. Elly De La Cruz has a first pitch in LIDOM, Cesar Hernandez is lighting up LVBP, and the CPBL’s convoluted playoff system is in full swing. MLB Awards season has begun with the MLBPA Player’s Choice awards, honoring Ronald, Shohei, Corbin, and Gunnar, looking like a preview of upcoming MVP and ROY nods. Aaron Judge wins the Roberto Clemente Award this season for the work of his All Rise Foundation which is well-deserving of a look. Patt wants you to read Doris Kearns Goodwin’s “Wait Till Next Year.”

We say, “beer goggles for your ears,” “Corey Seager would make a great guard at Buckingham Palace, and “assless chaps on fire.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Pick Your Team, not your “Scabs”

NCiB — Tue, 31 Oct 2023 12:00:00 -0400

Still haven’t thrown in for a World Series team? We provide a helpful pro and con list featuring social justice fails, hockey, questionable music, and outstanding rookies. Merrill Kelly becomes an unlikely hero, Ketel Marte picks up where he left off in 2017, Tommy Pham keeps us scratching our heads, and the kids are making their marks. At Dusty’s request we say “see you later” instead of goodbye, and at Pottymouth’s recommendation (clearly), we say hello to Craig Breslow. Our resident international relations expert does a deep dive on UAE-based Baseball United – is it really growing the game in the Middle East/Indian Subcontinent, or is it a money grab funded by oil? And Patti learns the secret behind “Nick’s one button open feels like more.”

We say “Barbie,” “Miss America,” and “Ottoman Empire.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Israel, Venezuela, and Bad Geography

NCiB — Tue, 24 Oct 2023 12:00:00 -0400

Recording right after Games 5 in the LDS, one would think we would be all postseason all the time. You haven’t met Pottymouth. Prepare to be schooled on how being pro-Israel is not the same as standing up against anti-semitism, and we’re not sure all the baseball players in that video understand that. Also that our supporting the right of athletes to speak out on issues that matter to them in no way extends to our agreeing with them. We also dip back into how immigration policy is preventing families of Venezuelan baseball players from coming to the US to see them play. We come around to the “New England Parlor Game” of all the people declining interviews to head baseball ops for the Red Sox (Pottymouth plants a flag for Craig Breslow), and how Marlins ownership drove out Kim Ng, who was arguably the best thing to happen to that franchise in years. Why are baseball academies in the DR such targets for break-ins? And ah, yes, the postseason. Pottymouth was right about Kyle, Patti calls dibs on Alek while still throwing down for Nats North, and the Bryan Abreu kerfuffle gives is the bench clearing we didn’t know we needed. Patti wants to be the PitchCom librarian and is currently wondering where Austin Hedges’ “F*^& Yeah” track gets filed.

We say “We are not shut up and dribble people,” “Is it an isthmus?” and “I don’t speak Spanish but that sounds like National Chickens.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Airline Bottles on a Train

NCiB — Tue, 17 Oct 2023 12:00:00 -0400

Liam is our favorite Castellanos but Nick is a close second. Pottymouth is rightfully preening over her pre-season pick of Corbin Carroll. Patti calls early dibs on Evan Carter for next season. There was so much more going on in that 15 pitch at bat between Nathaniel Lowe and Dean Kremer than met the eye. Every single team in the final four has players we love to watch, so we dug deeper for our picks. Respect for Dusty aside, we are over Houston. The Rangers have an edge there if you can get past the whole Creed situation. We appreciate an underdog but ARI are scabs. We are pro-Phils for lead-off hitter Schwarber, Nats North, sneaky good hitting, and very specific heckling. And Liam. In the world outside the playoffs, the Giants interviewed Alyssa Nakken, the first woman to be an official candidate for an MLB manager position. Police blotter and international baseball collide, as Wander Franco may or may not play winter ball in the DR. Nelson Cruz has already committed to managing Team DR in the 2026 WBC so we are requesting leave now.

We say “There’s a Maryland state dinosaur?” “I met David Byrne in an elevator,” and “Peanuts are hard enough to get into a Japanese ballpark but we can get domestic abusers in there just fine.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

We Love Rock’n’Roll. Home field advantage? Notsomuch.

NCiB — Tue, 10 Oct 2023 17:02:41 -0400

One game into the Division Series, Patti and guest host Alexander Dacy remember some guys from the last time the Os and Rangers met in the playoffs, ponder if home field is really an advantage, and wonder if the expanded WC field is good for anyone but MLB’s bottom line. Jose Altuve sets a mark for first pitch homers in the first game of the postseason, as well as HR height differential between pitcher and batter. The Diamondbacks almost earn full team boyfriend status for the way they rallied around their GM as he cared for his wife living with a brain tumor, and then establishing a fund in her memory. Their status is immediately revoked when the team knowingly crossed picket lines for the second time in order to stay in an LA hotel where workers have been striking since July. Joan Jett, Billy Joel and Stevie Nicks, and Guns’n’Roses all have a postseason role to play, from anthems to traffic to just making some space. The Mets clean house – what is inappropriate use of the IL anyway? Lindsey Hill goes public after settling with Trevor Bauer. Alexander tells the tale of the here today gone next year Spire City Ghost Hounds and his tryout with the Atlantic League team. Congrats to Bo Knows Boyfriends, the winner of our very fun and somewhat ridiculous fantasy league. A big thank you to Alexander Dacy for sitting in for the traveling Pottymouth, who will be back for next week’s show.

We say, “Convenience team? That’s like a pity date.” If there were a way that both teams could lose this series, I’d take it.” and “You lie to your kid’s school – you do whatever you need to do to get to the damn playoff game.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Way More Fun Than You're Supposed To

NCiB — Tue, 03 Oct 2023 12:00:00 -0400

We hit the sweet spot between the end of the regular season and the kick off of the postseason. Corbin makes history, Adley sells some jerseys, Miggy Ro buys the kids Jordans, Myles steals all the bases, and Pottymouth considers extending Juan. Jazz, Josh, and Kim take the Marlins back to the postseason and Cal has things to say about why the Mariners are not there. We say heartfelt goodbyes to Tim Wakefield, and Mr. Oriole, Brooks Robinson. Farewells to Tito, near and dear to both of us, and to Miggy who has a great future ahead working with young players in the Tiger organization. The Giants call it done with Gabe, but we have no doubt he’ll get picked up quickly. Angel again demonstrates why the league needs better standards, or really any standards for umpire performance, but a kid gets a helmet. Turns out emotional support alligators are a real thing, but they still are not covered by ballpark policy in Philadelphia. It’s not too soon to prepare for Winter Ball, or to try to sell peanuts to Japanese ballparks. Congrats to the Orioles, cementing their OPACY home for another 30 years.

We say, “between the Queen of England and Ozzy Ozbourne,” “the preponderance of Rutschmans,’ and “weird animals you could hold.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

You're Stuck With Us

NCiB — Tue, 26 Sep 2023 12:00:00 -0400

It’s that part of the season where records are falling, injuries are career changing, and so many playoff berths are still in play. Corbin Carroll and Julio Rodriguez are knocking down milestones for the young folks, Freddie Freeman shows for the older crowd, and Ronald Acuña Jr. is in a category all his own. Joey Votto uses his French (or French accent? We don’t know!) for the Children’s Theater of Cincinnati. Mark Vientos is heating up for the Hapless Mets at the same time Tommy Pham slams the team for their work ethic. Non-lawyer Pottymouth provides an intro to Immigration Law 101 in the context of Brusdar Graterol’s mother finally able to travel from Venezuela to see her son pitch for the first time in seven years. Patron saint of the show, Sean Doolittle, announced his retirement and remains a role model for using his celebrity to support and give voice to marginalized and under-represented communities. The St. Pete Rays announced a not-quite-but-close agreement to stay in St. Pete, incorporating “intentional equity initiatives” including affordable housing, minority/women-owned business hiring commitments and a boatload of public funding. TIckets are on sale for Dominican baseball at Citifield in November and the Eurobaseball Championship is happening now in the Czech Republic.

We say “Day drinking has never occurred to us before,” “Dictatorship is not in a good way,” and “sometimes an immigration lawyer makes her dinner.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

You Don’t Get Capitalized Until Your First Hit

NCiB — Tue, 19 Sep 2023 12:00:00 -0400

While Patti spent the weekend in her happy place, it was locker clean-out day all over the league. The Rays have purged their clubhouse of all things Wander, and the Dodgers have literally painted Julio Urias right out of their history. Shohei cleaned out his own locker but may not be completely absent the rest of the season. Pottymouth checks in with some neglected boyfriend and finds that Thairo Estrada is having his second 20+ stolen base season and leads the Giants in steals, hits, and doubles. Miguel Rojas has found a dance partner in Kiké at the same time his bat is kicking back in. Patti’s former OAK bf Matt Olson just set the Hammers’ single season record for home runs and leads the league in RBI. Nicky Lopez, initially her KC bf, may have to reschedule his early November wedding now that he too is a Hammer and they hope to have other plans at that time of year. Oriole Park at Camden Yards was the place to be this past weekend with the Os/Rays showdown. Adam Jones retired as an Oriole before the Friday game (check out his kids’ qHAR!), where Heston Kjerstad hit a home run for his first major league hit. Queen songs were sung loudly at Saturday’s game where we were “having a good time” watching Grayson Rodriguez pitch 8 shut out innings, Gunnar shocking Disney Prince Tyler Glasnow, and Tristan Gray learning you don’t get capitalized at OPACY until your first hit.

Roberto Clemente Day was observed on Friday with a day of service for the Pirates, and presentations of each team’s nominee for the Clemente award. We crosstrain with the new Professional Women’s Hockey League who host their inaugural draft this week, with the backing of LAD minority owner Billie Jean King and LAD Chair Mark Walter. The Mets honored Maybelle Blair with their first Amazin’ Mets Foundation Legacy Award. Japan (undefeated since 2012) and Taiwan easily advanced through Group B of the Women’s Baseball World Cup.

We say “This game goes to 11,” “Complicated and mathy” and “Kabbalistic cosmic number play.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

"Sell" Shirts in Red

NCiB — Tue, 12 Sep 2023 12:00:00 -0400

This snack-sized episode brought to you by the return of COVID. Was the media just stirring the pot or was it poking the bear making up conflict between Chas and Dusty? We are grateful for the banana pudding tidbit outcome, however. Ha-Seong Kim stole five bases last week and may be the first Korean-born MLB player to win a Gold Glove. Check out this profile in The Athletic. Oswald Peraza teaches us some dance steps while toe tapping his way to better plate appearances. Kyle Schwarber, our favorite atypical lead-off hitter, is our only current boyfriend Roberto Clemente Award nominee, but the field is full of formers. Our Police Blotter ranges from “criminal” behavior by Nationals ownership to Criminal behavior by Julio Urías. The Nats cancel the leaked Strasburg retirement press conference while conducting behind the scenes shenanigans, while Urías does his best to become the first player to be suspended twice for domestic violence. Stealing bases is NOT a crime and the league is on pace for the second highest number of SBs since 1920, a full thousand more than last season. Rule changes are working as intended and it is so much fun to watch. Patti spins our pre-season predictions to make us sound SO much better than we look on paper. You too can, and should, be watching the Women’s Baseball World Cup Group B qualifying round. Please seek out “Lost Diamonds, A History of Gender Rebellion in American Baseball,” the comic book series by Ellen Lindner.

We say, “dealer’s choice bobbleheads,” “I’m more of the slow, ambulatory type,” and “I like people who are cute about Gunnar.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, get boosted, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Fast Guys Who Don't Quit

NCiB — Tue, 05 Sep 2023 12:00:00 -0400

Don’t you wish you had a week like Ronald Acuña Jr.? Most of it, anyway – probably not the part that requires the update of NCiB Stadium Rules.. Miggy passes more all-time milestones and Triston chips away at the Rookie marks. TJ Friedl has no walk-up song for a reason that makes us like him even more. New guys are coming up all over the place this time of year. BOS’s Wilyer Abreu debuts at Minute Maid, where he thought he’d be an Astro. NYY’s Jasson Dominguez debuts with a homer off of Verlander. Our Police Blotter update the Wander Franco debacle with girl #3. Patti explains last week’s waiver madness, LAA’s plan, and the failure thereof. Pottymouth looks at Spanish language broadcasting in MLB and wonder why WAS is not part of that. It’s Ladies Night if you want to get your nails done, but maybe not if you want to learn more about women in baseball. And hey, COVID’s back - four CIN pitchers are out.

We say “Like a guy-Cougar,” “We’re going to start colonizing things any time now,” and “We have no ‘ladies’ cred.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

I Could Be a Bro

Voxtopica — Tue, 29 Aug 2023 12:00:00 -0400

In our back to school episode, we distract Pottymouth from work stress with conversation about inclusive condiment races and Fenway/Dodgers East reunions. Mookie, Kiké, and the gang never disappoint. Cal Raleigh is quietly racking up records and personal bests. Trea proves the power of fan support. Luke can run fast if he has to but it's not his first choice. José Iglesias takes a reggaeton star turn. So much pitcher churn with Stras retiring, Shohei out with the arm but in with the bat, The Rock stepping in for The Mountain, and #1 draft pick Paul Skenes filling the stands in Altoona. The City of San Francisco shows how to celebrate and elevate girls baseball, and Stella Weaver sets records in the LLWS. Our Police Blotter covers mysterious gunshot wounds at the Chicago White Sox game, and an overwhelmingly concerning absence of consent rocking international women’s soccer.

We say “I’ve never been closer to Charlie Blackmon’s beard,” “It’s like asking how much it costs when you are at Tiffany’s,” and “tomorrow is negative Christmas.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Christopher, Spencer, Bobby, and Julio

NCiB — Tue, 22 Aug 2023 12:00:00 -0400

Christopher Morel, Spencer Torkelson, and Patti, are all too sexy for their shirts. Even if he doesn’t want them, Max keeps racking up the personal accomplishments. Kyle continues to own Nats Park, Bobby and Julio are two of a kind, Luis is all about the slam, and the 1983 WS MVP is all about Adley. Our Police Blotter is all Wander, who has been firmly placed on the NCiB’s no-fly list, while we wait for the various investigations to decide on the rest of his future. Gunnar got to choose between the cycle and his first four extra-base hit game, and he chose the team. Who then threw up their hands in disbelief that he ignored the cycle. The follow up on the cameraman Gunnar beaned hard with an errant throw is all good, even after he shared his prostate cancer diagnosis on top of the orbital bone fracture. Lessons to be learned on what’s important in life. We crosstrain with Women’s World Cup soccer and Pottymouth decides England’s keeper is a keeper.

We say, “We’re at that point in the season where we say ‘We’re at that point in the season,” “toe to row, hoe to row, row to hoe,” and “Why not use your Mets ticket to see Shohei Ohtani?” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Can Fenway be a Boyfriend?

NCiB — Tue, 15 Aug 2023 12:00:00 -0400

We were there to meet Luis Tiant *and* watch Kyle Isbel break the Green Monster, all while wearing Jerry Garcia jerseys. This is how we do baseball roadtrips. We missed Dominican night but it was a model for community outreach and service. Nicky Lopez rocks both the bat and the scoreless 9th now that he’s a Hammer. Miguel passes Tony, and Seiya teaches us that mental health days are an important tool. Phillies fans try something new by supporting a struggling player and it seems to work! Good things in the minor leagues as the ATL High-A affiliate drops the problematic name and asks for suggestions. Tell them your ideas (or tell them our idea and suggest the Hammers!). 19 year-old Jackson Holliday has his third five-hit game, and 21 year-old Dylan Crews wastes no time in going 4-5 including a grand slam. Suspensions and fines were awarded for the CLE/CWS Fight Night, including the longest suspension doled out by MLB (6 to TA), and a successful appeal reducing Jose’s from three to two games. Orioles ownership unites fans and baseball broadcasters nationwide against them as Angelos pulls star play by play guy Kevin Brown for completely factually describing the improvement of the team over past years. Makes no sense, yes? But Kevin Brown has been freed via chants, t shirts, and public humiliation of John Angelos. US Women’s Baseball is cruising through Group A play, living up to their RTEFW motto. Thunder Bay, baby.

We say “He jiggles when you knock him,” “Ta-killah,” “I could be Mr. Smiley.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Breaking the Rules of Fight Club

NCiB — Tue, 08 Aug 2023 12:00:00 -0400

How can we *not* talk about Fight Club when it features dueling BFs? Patti’s former CLE BF Jose Ramirez clocks Patti’s former CWS BF and Down Goes Anderson. Mayhem clears the way for unexpected debut circumstances and a wild time to hear the SpongeBob theme. Patti and Pottymouth’s excellent adventure takes us to Cooperstown where we spend a Sunday at the Church of Baseball. Loved the Hall of Fame, but surprising no one, we have notes. Luis Urias heads to the Red Sox, which seems like a good fit, freeing up #2 on the Brewers for Brice Turang who hits a 3 run homer his first game with the new number that honors his dad. The Heart and Hustle (NCiB Boyfriend Awards) nominees are announced, and include current picks Corbin Carroll and Ha Seuong Kim, and ironically, Jose Ramirez and Tim Anderson. Harrison Bader makes a guest appearance in our girls in baseball segment, congratulating Alexa Cardona on her velocity and accuracy beaning her County Executive on the back of the head during the 4th of July parade from 100 feet away. Curtis Mead became the 34th Australian to play in MLB when he was called up to the Rays on Friday. Domingo Germán leads our Police Blotter by going on the restricted list while he attends inpatient treatment for alcohol abuse after clubhouse belligerence. Thank you A’s fans for your 5th inning Sell the Team chant. The Women’s Baseball World Cup Group A games begin and you can stream them! We share ballpark rules that we never thought we’d have to talk about. Please remember that ballplayers are on the job when they are at the game, and don't owe you anything besides playing their best game.

We say “Our travel tips are totally worth the admission price to this podcast,” “ How many hahas do you need to finish your Brou?” and, “I would like a team nap room.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Middle Fingers and Father Time

NCiB — Tue, 01 Aug 2023 12:00:00 -0400

As the trade deadline crashes down, Pottymouth kries for Kiké returning to the LAD, and Patti plots to wrangle Max away from The Kids’ fantasy team now that he’s a Ranger. The Mets fire sale may help Mark VIentos get regular playing time. Juan’s injured middle finger keeps going up and down, just like Pottymouth’s. Ha Seong Kim has sneaky WAR. We strongly suggest a broadcast future for Joey Votto when he’s ready for a career change. International baseball is coming to us! In November, Citi Field will welcome LIDOM’s Aguilas Cibaeñas vs. Tigres de Licey for three games, and Miami will host the Serie del Caribe in February. Plenty of time to request leave. Rob Manfred is never leaving – teams voted to extend his contract as commissioner until 2029. Bad for As, good for killing the blackout. We are grateful for the lovely gifts sent to us by friends of the show, and those of you who donated to Proud to Be in Baseball in honor of our 300th episode. Congrats to Anna on your prize package!

We say, “I just want everyone to have a good hair day,” “So many people in tie dye,” and “My once and forever - for the time being.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

If We Took a Holliday

NCiB — Tue, 25 Jul 2023 12:00:00 -0400

We come away from a Bowie Baysox game with stars in our eyes for Jackson Holliday’s bat and water repellant gear in the form of giveaway Hawaiian shirts. Pottymouth catches us up with Nats BF CJ Abrams, and the surge of the other side of that trade, Juan Soto. Triston Casas homers twice off of Max and Cal Raleigh contributes to a SEA win rivaling the Taylor Swift concert across the street for excitement. Jarred kicks a water cooler and it ends exactly as badly as you’d think. We crosstrain with Messi’s debut and the departure of the Commander’s messy ownership, with beer. Those LSU boys continue to make draft history a week later. The ATL Hammers become the first publicly traded MLB franchise (does that open up an opportunity to influence a name change?), and we prep you for that other kind of trade as the deadline approaches next Tuesday. It’s Women in Baseball Week and we celebrate the Twins and Philly Girls Baseball participating in style as well as Stella Weaver, pitching in the Little League regionals. We’re already considering a return trip to Miami, for next February’s Serie del Caribe. Last chance to donate to Proud to Be in Baseball in honor of our 300th episode!

“I defended someone in a Jeter jersey at Fenway so I can handle anything,” “Off the roof and through the charts,” and “a cigar is gateway to two fingers of whiskey and wearing a suit.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

300, With Friends

NCiB — Tue, 18 Jul 2023 12:00:00 -0400

Patti and Pottymouth celebrate our 300th episode with a peanut gallery of friends of the pod. Manny celebrated the occasion with his 300th homer. And we hope you celebrate with a donation to Proud to Be in Baseball. Pottymouth has a whole old out, new in, new out, old in boyfriend situation with Oswald Peraza and Rodolfo Castro. Chas McCormick’s bat is ridiculously hot and his recent play in Seattle is ridiculously suspicious. Bobby Witt Jr and Drew Waters have magic in a blue bottle. Josh and Bo make some brotherly history. Pottymouth touts the appearance of vegan treats at ballparks and Patti tries to twist it into a whole air quote-y monopoly situation. We made some good calls about the Derby, where Adley made a switch-hitting splash as well as a red carpet splash with a daring suit and lovely mom and sister. 600 girls attend Baseball for All Nationals, and the US Women’s National team announces their roster and the schedule for qualifying rounds. LSU makes history in this year’s draft by sending the #1 pick to the Pirates and #2 to the Nationals. MLB expands its international tour for next season to include games in the DR, South Korea, Mexico CIty, and London.

We say, “We are a cheap date,” “Did you say a *risky* or a *whiskey* decision?” and “My favorite furniture and my favorite author are both Swedish.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Rued and Woo-ed at the All Star Break

NCiB — Tue, 11 Jul 2023 12:00:00 -0400

This snack-sized episode comes at your from the bar at an airport observation deck. We boldly make HR Derby predictions from our hearts and our heads, knowing full well you’ll know the results before you even hear the show. We share tales of our favorite rookie of the year picks, Corbin and Gunnnar, and are happy to see Alek Manoah back to the bigs. Is there anything EDLC can’t do? The Red Sox bring back some Pottymouth boyfriends, and Joey brings back his home run swing. We review our pre-season predictions here at the All Star Break and we are in better shape than one would think. David Bednar gifts Kershaw some local beer for the opportunity for his All Star moment, and we appreciate the move. The NYYs lose yet another pitcher to a suspension for violating the league’s domestic violence policy. The Baseball for All Nationals happen this week in Kentucky, bigger and better every time. Please help us recognize our upcoming 300th episode by donating to our friends at Proud to Be in Baseball and send us your donation receipt – you may win a prize!

We say “If they were dating it would be Vlad-ley,” “Rain o’clock,” and “ that’s exactly what I meant, without the vulgarity.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

We Rate Apologies, Not Women

Voxtopica — Tue, 04 Jul 2023 12:00:00 -0400

Pottymouth goes full teacher and provides an apology teaching moment with both the Brockton Rox and Alex Cora. Patti goes teacher wannabe trying to get Pottymouth to say “uniform” and not “outfit.” We review the ASG uniforms, selections, and how All Star rosters get there. There are a lot of brothers facing off in MLB, including some boyfriends and guest appearances by significant others and a cat. Spencer listens to Miggy but not Dad, and TEX does not listen to us regarding RP acquisitions. Please help Patti get a commemorative “I Drank From the World’s Largest Old Fashioned” glass from the Madison Mallards. Crosstraining this week is with the NHL as they and the NHLPA announce their Player Inclusion Commision. Help us celebrate our upcoming 300th episode by donating to Proud To Be In Baseball, and we may reward you with a prize.

We say “If you have a chance to feed baseball players, feed baseball players,” “a three-legged stool and everyone else sits on top,” and “we have a LOT of opinions per capita.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Geaux Tigers

NCiB — Tue, 27 Jun 2023 12:00:00 -0400

As June rolls to a close, Gabe Kapler surprises us in the best of ways, and the NHL provides a Police Blotter and Crosstraining in one convenient and disappointing package. All Star Voting is all about the boyfriends, rigged or not. Will Julio Rodriguez have that Hometown Harper Derby magic? The SELL shirt from the As reverse boycott scores a place in Cooperstown. We heartily endorse tourism by baseball players (we’re looking at you, Christopher Morel) as they enjoy London and plan for more overseas series. But seriously, how about those Reds? Patti gives Pottymouth dibs on Elly, but will likely regret it after seeing him play in person this week. BF Mickey Moniak goes 5-5 in the Angels rout of the Rockies, and LAA takes Mike Moustakas as their spoils of war. The College World Series showcases jello shots and racy dance moves and where has it been all our lives (we ask while wearing our LSU gear). Pottymouth provides excellent pro-tips for concert-going at ballparks and does not fall for Patti’s tricks to get her to say Citifield > Fenway, even with the Lindor family’s influence.

We say, “Your Venn Diagram is here,” “I made up for it with day drinking,” and a surprising amount about home births. Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Some of My Best Friends host Pride Nights

NCiB — Tue, 20 Jun 2023 12:00:00 -0400

Mark Canha walks right up to Pride, Kevin Gausman shows Anthony Bass how one embraces inclusion, and Chaim Bloom is as clear as LA Pride protesters. Patti notes that the Rangers, the only team not to host a Pride Night, IS hosting next year’s ASG in case anyone wanted to do anything with that information. MLB tries to figure out Juneteenth. Vinnie tears his labrum, Spencer breaks Joe Mauer, ish, and Miggy ties A-Rod. We have so many questions about Oswaldo Cabrera’s accessories. A’s fans stage a reverse boycott as a response to all the victim-blaming for the move of the team to Vegas, and Oakland’s mayor points out a double-standard. Patti and the Pottymouth consider playing fast and loose with the fantasy league. Our 300th episode is coming up, want to join us for a recording?

We say ”You guys are capitalists, you know how this works,” “Anzoátegui,” and, “F*&^ you if your personal views are discriminatory.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Just Flinch More

NCiB — Tue, 13 Jun 2023 12:00:00 -0400

Pottymouth gives the rundown on all the pitcher drama, from Alek Manoah getting sent so very far down, Anthony Bass burning his opportunity for redemption and getting both DFA’d and booed, and the questionable conversation around Matt Dermody. Patti reassures Pottymouth’s dad that Triston Casas will be just fine, and Michael Harris reassures Patti that he will be just fine. Brothers Ramon (Os) and Luis (Brewers) Urias faced off for the very first time. Our police blotter focuses on the pitch clock at the Bank, where 15 seconds seems to go way faster than at other ballparks. Patti points out that Justin Turner fouling a ball off the forehead of Yankees’ radio broadcaster John Sterling makes her regular flinching at inside pitches and fouls coming for the pressbox (behind netting, but still) completely reasonable so please stop teasing her. Leonel Messi comes to the MLS, which is solidly related to baseball because of the welcome from Marlins players, and the possible side hustle for Pottymouth who offers her services as a teacher of English.

We say “Are you saying Fenway is a scam?” “Tweet of Matt’s, it’s like Book of Mormon,” and “Dear Mr. Beckham, I’d like to help your newest acquisition.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

The Good, the Bigot, and the Object Lesson

NCiB — Tue, 06 Jun 2023 12:00:00 -0400

Happy Pride to all! Marcus Stroman sets the bar high, Mike Pence demands an apology for what he does not understand, and the Blue Jays teach us how a team can help its players be better people. Aquaman opts out, Chas and Nicky bounce back, and Joey adjusts his brain to a DH role. We discuss A-Rod’s gums, but not as much as he does. Patti tries to explain the business of cable-based regional sports networks, blackouts, and fair market value. We cross-train with the Celtics and commencement, and celebrate the all-female umpire crew working the Cuban National Series. Patti cheats on Pottymouth by dating another podcast – check her out on the Daily Deuce.

We say “Pretend you are the Dewey Decimal System and file it under Mythology,” “It’s something I used to eschew,” and “You said “eschew perfectly.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

You Can’t See What You’re Not Looking For

NCiB — Tue, 30 May 2023 12:00:00 -0400

Patti defends Baltimore’s City Connect choices – it’s high concept, people. We discuss booing by fans AND by moms (We don’t like it but it seems to work for Trea). Adley goofs off at the MLB flagship store. Luke Raley strikes out Vladdy, then gets lit up. Christopher Morel can’t stop raking. Craig Kimbrel reaches a milestone. In the Police Blotter, The Dodgers apologize to the Sisters, Glen Kuiper gets fired for his not-really-a-flub, and Aaron Boone keeps on getting tossed, this time for “expectorating.” Summer collegiate leagues are starting, and Broxton Rocks Marika Lyszczyk becomes the first woman in the Futures Collegiate Baseball League. Good luck to Venezuela’s Francys Sandoval, the only girl playing in the 12U Baseball World Cup.

We say “It’s a very light toddy,” “Take backsies and a spit take,” and “you can’t say holy shit to that.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Otherwise you are just yelling Sports!

NCiB — Tue, 23 May 2023 12:00:00 -0400

Join us for birthday cross training, swag fails, rule corollaries, and a guest appearance by West Coast Correspondent Deborah. Adolis > Aaron, Mark Vientos comes up and Yahoo won’t let Patti capitalize on that, Seiya is turning a corner, and Bryce Miller scores an emergency fantasy draft. Deborah and Jayson Stark do a deep dive into the state of the new rules, and if the A’s are bad, or Spider-bad. Liam Hendriks brings the love through food trucks. We take an upstream look at the Dodgers vs.The Sisters debacle. Zac Gallen channels Randy Johnson in the worst way, and we revisit Sticky vs. Tacky on the occasion of Domingo Germán’s suspension. Deborah is going to buy this shirt, you might want to, too. Congratulations, Pottymouth, Jr.

We say, “No scrum for swag rule,” “All those guys are 0 for Tuesday,” and “Mommy and Mommy are fighting again.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

MacGyver, Mickey, and Mothers Day

NCiB — Tue, 16 May 2023 12:00:00 -0400

Nothing better for these moms than talking baseball on Mothers Day, plus a detour to the farmers market for bread and booze, to NYC for a show, and a little sitcom talk. The entire AL East remains above .500 which makes us proud and pissed at the same time. Cedric Mullins hit for the cycle during Patti’s book club and Triston Casas “regrets” his 442’ homer. If Mickey Moniak’s season debut including a homer and 2 stolen bases on his 25th birthday had happened for the NYY instead of the LAA, Harrison Bader would have gifted him a very nice bottle of wine. Pottymouth checks in on not-in-her lineup boyfriends plus new to her lineup Christopher Morel. Kenley Jansen gets his 400th save but gets drawn offsides by Willson Contreras, more than once. Crosstraining and the Police Blotter are one and the same as college basketball and the NHL join MLB for slurs and insensitivity. Start prepping for next summer’s Women’s Baseball World Cup now – opening play-in rounds start next week.

We say, “If you can make the ice work, I can make the next drink work,” “We did not need to use duct tape or a paper clip at any point,” and “I’m going to explain logic.” Fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Synagogue of Baseball

Voxtopica — Tue, 09 May 2023 12:00:00 -0400

We agree with Fernando Tatis, Jr. when he says, “who doesn’t love Ha-Seong Kim?” Max Muncy flexes his dad power. Pottymouth’s weekly Kiké mention is really about the ceremonial first pitch of his model cousin Sofía Jirau. Last Friday’s Hammers vs Os game, with Max Fried vs. Dean Kremer, was the 5th time in MLB history with two Jewish starting pitchers. The High A Hillsboro Hops (with manager Ronnie Gajownik) vs. Vancouver Canadians (Ashley Stephenson position coach) series brought us women in uniform on both sides of the field. Our Police Blotter features a conversation of when is a flub really a flub as we discuss the suspension of Glen Kuiper, As broadcaster, for his on-air racial slur. We highlight the international asshattery of Trevor Bauer, and the multiple plunkings of Arozarena. Bryce Harper and Jose Altuve come back quickly, and Liam Hendriks shines in a rehab start. Justine Siegal piles on the impressive firsts by adding “first woman to coach in LMB.” Our pre-season predictions predictably stink.

We say, “It’s perfectly acceptable for Arozarena to do his pose at third WHEN HE HITS A TRIPLE,” “Dad to dad baton thing,” and “I bet *he* can rollerblade and not pull anything.” Get boosted, fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Every Time a Frog Chirps

NCiB — Tue, 02 May 2023 12:00:00 -0400

Crosstraining with Games 7 provides the opportunity to revisit both grammar and the “gear algorithm.” Vocabulary lessons include “hamate excision,” “batter’s eye,” and “cheezstayk” (which Patti objects to on many levels). Pottymouth’s trip to Philadelphia includes a great showing by Patti’s former bfs (Castellanos, Pache, and Marsh), an Aquaman sighting, and beer as souvenirs because it is always the right size. Yu Chang is about to obtain superpowers, Corbin Carroll has super speed, and LA has something super as there are a large number of Little Tiny Dodgers. Patti’s bfs Raleigh and Raley are not only alliterative, but also repetitive with the homers. Our Police Blotter includes suspicious edits, a pottymouth but not in a good way, and an opportunity to say “run it out.” Pottymouth is all about the Mexico series, especially swag bags, and the Padres and Giants spending time out in the community, but MLB expansion there is not likely.

We say “I wish there were more Pucker,” “zombie apocalypse,” and “he only wears his shirt unbuttoned one button but it feels like more.” Get boosted, fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Sliding Scale of Sticky

NCiB — Tue, 25 Apr 2023 12:00:00 -0400

The A’s buy land in Las Vegas so of course Patti and West Coast Correspondent Deborah talk anti-gentrification, environmental clean-up, affordable housing, and pitch a cross-training idea of an NHL expansion team at Howard Terminal. Max Scherzer takes over the Police Blotter with his ejection for hands “the stickiest it's been.” The case in point pigeon delay leads WCCD to express some compassion for umpires dealing with new rules with little guidance. Manny makes a kid’s day, Kiké expresses 100th homer joy in a fully Pottymouth way. Bryce is a medical miracle, Joey’s bat wakes up as soon as Patti benches him, Vladdy is no friend of the NYY, and Josh Harrison just keeps doing his job.

We say “Coffee is my beer,” “Inigo Montoya moment,” and “having dirt bike accidents and not telling the team before it was cool.” Get boosted, fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

We’ve got a Policy for That. Ish.

NCiB — Tue, 18 Apr 2023 12:00:00 -0400

Jackie Robinson Day always teaches us something new. The 2013 Red Sox commemorate the 10th anniversary of the Boston Marathon bombing, Pedro begins a mentoring program, and Pottymouth takes issue with the bleeping of David Ortiz. Yu Chang starts hitting, Jarred Kelenic hits it far, and Franchy is hitting big for the wrong team. Patti dives into the math around the uptick in stolen bases – will this year’s champ hit 60? 80? And Trea wants to make sure we’re stealing for the right reasons. Tatis finally gets a shot at AAA ball. We’re with Rocco in the Police Blotter where he takes issue with umpires allowing Doming Germán to remain in a game after not following the crew chief’s directive, and we’re baffled about the “umpire discretion/we’ve got a policy but no one followed it” pitch clock violation when all the Dodgers fans wanted to do was welcome Cody home. Yankees broadcasters need to understand that kids from Cleveland get to rock long hair, even when forced to wear a NYY uni. A handful of teams are extending alcohol sales past the 7th inning, given the increased speed of the game, begging the question of the goal of ending sales early – it used to be to prevent drunk driving – which seems to be a moving target. Don’t get us wrong, we’re all in for a second beer because we are either on the metro or with a designated driver, but the policy, dammit. Stay tuned for what happens next weekend when the Pottymouth’s ditch Patti for a baseball trip to see the Phils and the Iron Pigs/Woo Sox.

We say “way more wahoo than I’m comfortable with” “welcome back to three years ago”, and “he’s good to go until he gets on a bike.” Get boosted, fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

We All Need a Time-Out

NCiB — Tue, 11 Apr 2023 12:00:00 -0400

The governor of Maryland shows that he postgames like we pregame, so he is our people. Our Brewer’s boyfriends get our attention this week as Brice Turang grand slams for his first HR, and Garrett and Haley Cruse Mitchell have some social media fun. Patti’s CLE bf Myles Straw leads the league in stolen bases and gives Patti her only lead in fantasy baseball. In a BF plus one crosstraining note, we wish Mallory Swanson a speedy recovery. We note that Corbin Carroll does not dig himself out of the ”parents dropped me off for the first day of school” issue by saying that they just needed the car. The unforeseen consequence of the pitch clock appears to be the frequency in which players will now appear on the Police Blotter for reacting to not being granted their requested time out. Manny is the first, of course, to be tossed for arguing the issue, followed closely by Tim Anderson. Anthony Rendon continues his descent from his former once and forever bf status with his suspension for an altercation with a mouthy fan. Dartmouth says it’s climate change and Emory says watch us score all the runs. Thanks to Jeff Passan we have more of the story of how the minor league CBA came to be. The Copa de la Diversión is bigger this year so prepare to buy all the merch and get yourself to at least one of the 400 Fun Cup games this season.

We say “Bartles and Jaymes,” “keep that name in your rolodex,” and “anthropomorphizing alcohol. ”Get boosted, fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Baseball Country: Interview with Bryan Ruby

NCiB — Thu, 06 Apr 2023 12:00:00 -0400

Join Patti and Pottymouth for a conversation with Bryan Ruby, ballplayer, country music artist, and founder of Proud to Be in Baseball. Come for the important conversation about creating a safe space for LGBTQ+ baseball players, learn about the life of a journeyman baseball player, and share some country music dreams. Stay for the qHAR tips and the near miss of being named for Cal Ripken, Jr. Find Baseball Country, Left Field, and more of Bryan's music in "all the places," and look for him at a ballpark near you this summer.

Adleytude

NCiB — Tue, 04 Apr 2023 12:00:00 -0400

In which we make likely terrible predictions for the upcoming season, celebrate the new CBA for Minor League players, and share a teaser of our upcoming interview with ballplayer, country music artist, and founder of Proud to be in Baseball, Bryan Ruby. Adley Rutschman sets an enormous number of firsts on his first Opening Day. Pottymouth heads to Boston to reassure Dad about some particular Red Sox. We look at the effect of MLB’s new rules on game time, stolen bases, and beer sales based on one day of data. Minor Leaguers ratified their first ever CBA, more than doubling their salaries and improving their living conditions in one fell swoop. Patti and Pottymouth make their annual predictions on standings, championships, and individual awards, rooted deeply in research and not at all on small sample sizes and whims. Pottymouth wants you to Czech out more international baseball. Be sure to subscribe to the show so you don’t miss our full length interview with Bryan Ruby, dropping later this week!

We say “Raking on both sides of the situation,” “So Much Painful,” and “Bracket to win, bracket of your heart, and bracket just to mix things up.” Get boosted, fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Party Like It's 1968

NCiB — Tue, 28 Mar 2023 12:00:00 -0400

We kick off Season 7 (!) with a World Baseball Classic wrap-up, an Opening Day kick off, and an intro to our flocks of pitchers. The WBC left many happy results in its wake. Team Australia’s Mitch Neunborn was signed by the Phils, Nicaraguan closer Duque Hebbert signed on site by the Tigers, and Team Israel built new ballfields. There were so many more eyeballs on the games, fans in the seats, and merch in the shopping carts than ever before. Closing out our Fantasy Boyfriend Baseball League recruitment, Pottymouth claims the Blue Jays as her pitching flock, with a focus on Alek Manoah. Patti takes the newly shiny Rangers, which allows her to reference rodeos *twice.* And we had to make our tough calls to narrow down this year’s boyfriend group to fantasy team rosters. NCiB hero Kim Ng is appointed to the President’s Council on Sports, Fitness and Nutrition, and 13 women will take the field as uniformed coaches this season. MLB gets a sense of humor and uses noted rule-follower Tim Anderson and others to explain the rule changes for this season.

We say “I throw a nice party and I gotta big screen,” “bouncing Czechs,” and “Alek Manoah may have gone shopping but so did the Rangers.” Get boosted, fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

We Saw the Tide Turnered

NCiB — Tue, 21 Mar 2023 12:00:00 -0400

Do we sound sultry or gravelly after three straight days of cheering at World Baseball Classic games, the best baseball weekend of our lives? You make the call. We’ve got the details of what it felt like in the stands, where everyone hung on every pitch, made new best friends, and danced it off won or lost outside the ballpark. Because there is other baseball too, we’ve got our last weekend of baseball boyfriends. Our Astros guys were both drafted as seniors in rounds that no longer exist, David Hensley for Pottymouth and Chas McCormick for Patti. For the Dodgers, we have battling second basemen in Pottymouth’s Miguel Vargas and Patti’s Michael Busch. Darren buys Dusty a grand slam dinner, we watch the birth of a ritual, and we are officially back on misguided sticky stuff enforcement.

We say “the chaos and the roosters,” “Could have done without Reagan in front of me,” and “He broke Altuve.” Get boosted, fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Too Much Baseball?

NCiB — Tue, 14 Mar 2023 12:00:00 -0400

World Baseball Classic and Spring Training at the same time? It is an embarrassment of riches leading to overwhelming choices and lack of sleep. Pottymouth’s boyfriends this week are 22 year old shortstops that are a little mysterious, and Patti chooses center fielders playing for their home teams and we both have to get past childhood grudges to do so. For the Yankees, Pottymouth picks Oswald Peraza who we probably saw in Rochester and just missed in Pulaski. Patti picks new Yankee Harrison Bader, who manages to keep up qHAR even after the flow gets the NYY treatment. For Atlanta, Pottymouth selects funny man Vaughn Grissom, while Patti goes with Vaughn’s pal and 2022 Rookie of the Year Michael Harris II.

The WBC brought the chaos with a five way tie in Pool A, and our Team Italy bfs Nicky and Vinny are moving on. Yu Chang is the Pool’s MVP and yet his team finished last. An electrician struck out Ohtani, Team USA sports bacon on its jerseys, and the Marlins front office makes it really onerous to buy WBC tickets if you live out of town.

We say “Big ass wheels,” “I’m going to keep that grudge as a policy statement,” and “If you don’t know what Happy Days is, I can’t help you.” Get boosted, fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

You say Kiké I say Manny

NCiB — Tue, 07 Mar 2023 12:00:00 -0500

Pottymouth convinces Patti that Jason Momoa is thematic because Samoan and because Jorge Alfaro. We’ve got boyfriends on the Guardians and the Mets. Max messes with the pitch clock rules, the Red Sox mess with shift rules, and the Os and Pirates don’t need no stinkin’ badges.

Cleveland girl Patti is so happy to talk Guardian boyfriends, and of course she and Pottymouth pick gold glove outfield pals – Pottymouth with breakout star Steven Kwan, and Patti with literally jumping to Kwan’s defense Myles Straw. Over at the Mets, Pottymouth bets on the sexy defense of Luis Guillorme, and Patti selects Escobar protege Mark Vientos. Former bf Kiké shares a most embarrassing moment, and Jayme Hoskins brings the plus one to Patti’s former pick of Rhys. Ronnie Gajownik gets a bench coach shot at Dbacks spring training, and the Red Sox bring Taylor Jackson on as a single A on-field coach. Vladdy has to back out of the WBC, still leaving a loaded line up behind on the DR team. Duran and Verdugo present a country report on Mexico, and the X-Man has us on the hunt for honkballer swag. We crosstrain with the NHL, profiling some pride nights done right, from the solid C of the Ottawa Senators and their T shirt rainbow of an arena, to the A+ of the Anaheim Ducks, from the jersey design involvement of long-time in-house organist, Lindsay Imber, incorporating community organizations, fundraising, thematic giveaways, and visible involvement of team members.

We say “Is that why our beer is pink?” “I think it was better than the first one but I don't remember the first one,” and “You think the music is only in your head, but it's not.” Get boosted, fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

The Quirk That Works

NCiB — Tue, 28 Feb 2023 12:00:00 -0500

We profile boyfriends from Toronto and St. Louis, detail the shake up in the Os quality hair above replacement (qHAR), and share first day fun with the pitch clock. Alejandro “Captain” Kirk is still a Spring Training no-show for all the right reasons, and is Pottymouth’s TOR bf for this season. Patti selects TOR trilingual utility player Otto Lopez because baseball is the universal language. On the Cards side of things, Pottymouth picks Pujols mentee Juan Yepez while Patti chooses the fast-tracked big bat of Alec “Burly” Burleson. Patti tries to bring the calm regarding the new pitch clock rules – it’s day one, friends, take a breath! In labor news, Tony Clark draws a line in the sand over salary caps while San Diego and Pittsburgh show opposite ends of small-market spending. Manny gets his extension, Bobby sends a home run right to the gut, and we enjoy MLB’s school picture day.

We say “designated driver of the podcast,” “Usually i’m very pro-dark lord,” and “I ride Bus 4.” Get boosted, fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Que lo que

NCiB — Tue, 21 Feb 2023 12:00:00 -0500

Much ado about Manny Machado as he announces intent to opt out of his contract next year, has a cameo in Pottymouth’s bf conversation and a full on support role in Patti’s. Patti picked Ha-Seong Kim as her SD bf only partially to say nice things about Manny. Pottymouth goes all young, dynamic Dominican players this week by continuing with Juan Soto as her once and forever for SD, and selecting ROY Julio Rodriguez for SEA (which causes us to purchase tickets to a women’s soccer game because we cross-train). Patti seems to have a thing for switch-hitting catchers, evidenced by her selection of Cal Raleigh as her SEA bf. Most pitchers and catchers reported last week, with some notable exceptions, and arbitration concludes with teams winning over players 13-6. CWS minor leaguer Anderson Comas comes out via Instagram, in two languages. Mike Clevenger defends himself in Spring Training media interviews, to the extent he is allowed. Patti aces the pop quiz on WBC trivia, Waino and Yadi tease us with big competitive fun, and the Czech WBC team shows heart by sharing baseball skills with kids from local orphanages.

We say “They probably went to prom together,” “Can be sexy all over the place,” and “Too weak to lift the credit card.” Get boosted, fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Comeback Heroes, Ohio Boys, and The Big Game

NCiB — Tue, 14 Feb 2023 12:00:00 -0500

We recorded right before The Big Game, putting “Go, Eagles” on record. Purely coincidentally this is Phillies (and Rays) boyfriend week. For Tampa Bay, Pottymouth chooses winter ball favorite Christian Bethancourt and Patti goes for Charm City Villain Luke Raley. Finally, FINALLY, Pottymouth names Kyle from Waltham as her Phillies boyfriend, while Patti scoops up an entire family with her choice of Josh Harrison. Amanda Komekona is named as the first woman on-field coach for Guardians, which ESPN calls a trend and we call a move to equity. The Angelos family eliminates family legal drama as a distraction for Os fans, letting everyone focus on team sale rumors and regional sports network mayhem instead. The Tigres de Licey are the champions of the Serie del Caribe, giving the Dominican Republic its 22nd win. So many boyfriends NOT playing in the WBC after all, so we are focusing on merch. The Mets take out a local Superbowl ad, with an eye for knocking out the NYY for Global domination.

We say, “I can’t even bring a cheesesteak over,” “Don’t ban books,” and “I’ll look it up while you’re talking.” Get boosted, fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Love and Money

NCiB — Tue, 07 Feb 2023 12:00:00 -0500

Our Orioles boyfriends include Patti’s once and forever boyfriend and birthday boy Adley Rutschman, and Pottymouth’s selection of Ramon Urias, completing a boyfriend brother set. Pottymouth’s Brewers choice is a twofer as Garrett Mitchell is pretty great on his own but add in his wife Haley and he’s a sure thing. Patti goes for prospect Brice Turang and his large, remarkably athletic family. We celebrate Toronto pitcher José Berríos working to repair baseball parks in Puerto Rico through his foundation, along with Mets closer Edwin Diaz, and former boyfriends Francisco Lindor and Javier Baez. Discussion of Cole Tucker’s engagement to Vanessa Hudgens leads to online meditation and the absence of High School Musical in Pottymouth’s world. In our Business Beat, we talk advertising on jersey sleeves as well as new plans for redevelopment involving Orioles and Rays ballparks. Turns out Ronnie Gajownik checks off even more boxes in her role as manager of the High A Hillsboro Hops. The Serie del Caribe continues through this week – catch some games! Patti suggests that if you have time for one more podcast this week, you check out the interview with Grayson Rodriquez on the Baseball Bar-B-Cast.

We say “over-driven and under-beered,” “donut sliders,” and “she’s my spirit animal.” Get boosted, fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Emphatic Pointing and Exact Figures

NCiB — Tue, 31 Jan 2023 12:00:00 -0500

This week’s boyfriends represent the Chicago White Sox and the San Francisco Giants. Pottymouth focuses on Venezuelan players and Patti pays attention to CWS draft picks from 2017. Pottymouth selects White Sox 2B Lenyn Sosa, who also plays SS for the Leones de Caracas. Patti selects Jake Burger, not for the easy pun potential but because of his remarkable generosity in sharing his depression and anxiety experiences including strategies for managing them. For the Giants, Pottymouth goes with Thairo Estrada, a teaching moment about the importance of removing bullets from hips, and Patti picks outfielder Luis González, whose best stories are pitching-related. Mike Clevinger is the latest pitcher to be the subject of an investigation under MLB’s domestic abuse policy. New gigs for OAK’s Veronica Alvarez, PHI’s Sarah Edwards, and the Cardinal’s Christina Whitlock build momentum for women in baseball, but we really want to know why Bianca Smith and Katie Krall left BOS. We cross-train with the NHL where Pride nights keep going wrong around the edges in the name of “personal reasons.”

We say “It’s a blowtorch, what could go wrong?” “ Now there’s jazz hands,” and "Good to find a man with flexibility.” Get boosted, fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Women in High-A, So Much Red Sox, and Santa’s Butt

NCiB — Tue, 24 Jan 2023 12:00:00 -0500

In this super-sized episode fueled by leftover holiday novelty beer, Pottymouth can’t stop talking Red Sox. For BOS bfs, Pottymouth picks good guy Rob Refsnyder and then fixes Patti up with shirtless pregamer Tristan Casas. Pottymouth’s Diamondbacks bf this season is possible ROY Corbin Carroll, while Patti selects Jake McCarthy for his periodic Gunnar-level qHAR. In the Police Blotter, Orioles owner John Angelos overshadows the team’s generous donation to Baltimore’s CollegeBound by lashing out at journalists for asking reasonable team ownership-related questions. There’s great news for women in baseball this week, as the Blue Jays appoint Ashley Stephenson as a coach for their High-A level team, and the Diamondbacks appoint Ronnie Gajownik as the general manager of their High A Hillsboro Hops, making her the first female general manager at the High-A level. We catch you up on winter ball playoffs and World Baseball Classic team additions.

We say “Lack of draft beer could be considered a crime in many situations,” “frickin’ Santa’s Butt,” and “Kiké is my shiny thing.” Get boosted, fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Your Posse is Adorable

NCiB — Tue, 17 Jan 2023 12:00:00 -0500

We walk you through both International Signing Day and the deadline to push slips of paper with numbers on them across the table (also how arbitration works and who avoided it). The Carlos Correa crab game has come to a close and Patti is not even smug about being right. We share our boyfriend picks for both the Twins and the Cubs. Pottymouth chooses the happy energy of Jose Miranda while Patti goes all family ties with Nick Gordon on the Twins side. For the Cubs, Pottymouth leans into a theme with always-smiling Christopher Morel while Patti attempts to lock down right field with Seiya Suzuki.

Robinson Chirinos makes a splash in the Venezuelan league so Pottymouth wants him for the Red Sox, and the Dominican league finals are very full of boyfriends, qHAR, and pop culture references. Diamilette Quiles, the first woman to play in the Puerto Rican league, will become the first woman to coach, as she joins the staff of her former team Montañeses de Utuado. Congrats to friend of the pod and pride of DC Girls Baseball, Paloma Benach, as she makes Occidental College’s varsity squad as a freshman!

We say, “The school districts are WAY better there,” “Hamilton. Look it up.” and “The thorn in the Padres’ big rose.” Get boosted, fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

The Reclamation Tour

NCiB — Tue, 10 Jan 2023 12:00:00 -0500

We’ve got a supersized Police Blotter this week, what with the Dodgers doing the right thing at the very last minute. We ponder why it took so long to DFA Trevor Bauer, and what may happen if another MLB team has the poor judgment to pick him up, ranging from T shirt purges to vandalism. We explore the relationship of adult beverages to crime as 1) the man who whipped two cans of White Claw at Ted Cruz during the Astros parade gets a pass, and 2) the man charged with a September break-in of the Brewer’s clubhouse blames it on consuming 10 beers at the ballgame which clearly means he is independently wealthy and does not need to break in to anything. Pottymouth selects one of the newest Angels, Brandon Drury, as her boyfriend this year, and Patti goes for recent Philly Mickey Moniak because she is so fond of that crew. For the Marlins, Pottymouth selects “family over everything” Nick Fortes and Patti selects secret concert pianist and Van Halen fan JJ Bleday. Pottymouth’s dad is happy about Devers but really wants more arms. Look for this week’s winter ball report on Patreon.

We say, “Trevor Bauer is not ready for Oprah, “flammable Fenway,” and “I only have one more line and I know it.” Get boosted, fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Cuba, Complicity, and Christmas Beer on New Years

NCiB — Tue, 03 Jan 2023 12:00:00 -0500

We kick off the new year with Rockies and Rangers boyfriends. Patti is already considering Rangers pitching for our wacky fantasy league, but that’s separate from picking Josh Smith, because LSU and other compelling factors. Pottymouth selects Nathaniel Lowe because he’s a pottymouth, and other compelling reasons. For the Rockies, Patti and Dante Bichette both see the potential in Brendan Rodgers, and Pottymouth likes that Yonatan Daza is always dancing. A Dominican court convicted ten people on charges including criminal organization, use of illegal firearms, attempted murder, and complicity in the murder attempt of David Ortiz in 2019. Former Oriole Adam Jones helps Pottymouth’s dad feel better about the Red Sox. We reassure you that movement is happening, quietly and slowly, toward the minor league’s first collective bargaining agreement.

So much happening in international baseball including a preview of the Serie del Caribe, a heads up to start making plans for the 9th Women’s Baseball World Cup to be held in Thunder Bay, Ontario, and the news that diplomacy prevails and Cuban-born MLB players will be permitted to play for the Cuban team in the World Baseball Classic. On a happy pod note, Patti and the Pottymouth are officially going to Miami for two quarterfinal games and one semi-final game so get in touch if you’ll be there too! Patti wants you to read a fiction series about hockey because you’ll cry in a good way, and makes Pottymouth drink a Christmas beer, also in a good way.

We say, “that sounds like a Patrick Swayze movie,” “at some point that was not yet now,” and “this is what happens when I break my toe and I’m on vacation.” Get boosted, fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Merry Gin and Tonicka

NCiB — Tue, 27 Dec 2022 12:00:00 -0500

As you might expect, Patti and the Pottymouth spend Christmas night talking baseball, fact-checking “The Chanukah song,” and drinking gin and tonickas. We cannot avoid the Carlos Correa kerfuffle, but we off-set it with other players on the move and Aaron Judge’s Rolex. We introduce our Tigers and Reds boyfriends: Riley Greene and Spencer Torkelson, Tyler Stephenson and Jose Barrero. It’s Christmas so why the heck not bring up disappointing Trevor Bauer news? And we get to the AirBnB part of the “should we go see World Baseball Classic games in Miami?” conversation.

We say “If I’m gonna be injured, they are too,” “Vine lives with MySpace and the extra socks you lose in the dryer,” and “If you open the beer, I’ll stop talking.” Get boosted, fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Jane Austen / MLB Fan Fiction Crossover

NCiB — Tue, 20 Dec 2022 12:00:00 -0500

Are we Team Italy now? Our Royals picks point that way. Pottymouth orders the Italian Breakfast (and former flying monkey) Vinnie Pasquantino and Patti selects Nicky Lopez, who is boots on the ground with his community involvement. Our Pirates guys include a Cleveland favorite, Carlos Santana, and a rookie record-breaker in Oneil Cruz. Dansby Swanson to the Cubs is the last of the top tier shortstop free agents deals this go round, and it gives us a chance to talk about Mallory some more. Pottymouth is taking recent Red Sox decisions as a personal affront, and she may be right. In WBC news Team USA announces more arms, Team Italy announces NCiB boyfriends, and we still can’t get tickets for games in Miami. Bradford William Davis and friend of the pod Dr. Meredith Wills tell a tale of three baseballs which just gets curiouser and curiouser (if we may mix Alice and Goldilocks).

We say, “MC Hammer pants,” “Day 9, the Waning of the Waft,” and “if you were sliding into third base, your cellphone would probably fall out of your pocket too.” Get boosted, fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Laser Hops

NCiB — Tue, 13 Dec 2022 12:00:00 -0500

The first FA shortstop moves tick off two major metropolitan areas. Pottymouth mourns Boston’s loss of the XMan to Xan Diego, and Patti shares the DMV’s piled-on feeling of Trea to Phils – another former Nat back to a rival NL East team. Josh Bell to the Guards just puts another jersey on Patti’s Christmas list. We kick off our off-season boyfriend profile picks with the As and the Nats. Pottymouth stocks up on catchers early with Oakland’s Shea Langeliers, and brings along his star athlete sister as a bonus. Patti selects Seth Brown, the man with both Dad Power and a backup plan. We go all “hey new guy!” with the Nats as Pottymouth chooses rising star and bobblehead to be C.J. Abrams, and Patti declares it to be “Get it to Joey” time with Joey Meneses. The balls in the hopper set an anti-tanking precedent as the 2023 draft order is determined at the Winter Meetings. Is it weird that 13 of the 15 players taken in the Rule 5 draft are pitchers? Congrats to TJ House on his engagement! And we assign you homework: read about the Goldilocks balls for next week.

We say “Rusty Snails are an acquired taste,” “I don’t understand money,” and “we have laser hops happening.” Get boosted, fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Some of Our Best Friends are Old Guys

NCiB — Tue, 06 Dec 2022 12:00:00 -0500

In advance of the Winter Meetings, starting pitcher signings are the big news but NCiB boyfriends are also on the move, including a full boyfriend trade between the Brewers and Mariners. Miguel Cabrera announces his upcoming retirement, reminding us that in addition to spectacular batting stats, he’ll leave a legacy of giving back to his communities. The Winter Meetings bring us a new draft lottery, the Rule 5 Draft, and the Take the Field program focusing on women working in baseball. Ideally, they will also shake loose the Free Agent shortstop market and a home for Aaron Judge. The players’ union, the MLBPA, renewed Tony Clark’s contract through 2027 so that he will remain Executive Director through the next contract negotiations. Players voted in a new executive committee, heavy on the pitchers and Ian Happ. Ronald Acuña keeps the Hammers streak going by winning the LVPB home run derby and more familiar faces join the winter baseball scene in both Venezuela and the Dominican Republic. Baseball for All’s Justine Seigal returns to Mexico to lead clinics for girls and coach some winter ball. Also in the DR, Nelson Cruz and friends lead the annual “Batting Clean Up” beach clean up event. Team USA finally announces the rest of their WBC pitching squad. The Tampa Bay Rays toss their hat in the ring for a chance to develop a new ballpark along with residential, hotel, and commercial space.

We say “there aren’t enough fbombs in the world to get you to move to Florida,” “can’t we call them non-winners?” and “mystery soup.” Get boosted, fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Stupid Rules, but a Good Time

NCiB — Tue, 29 Nov 2022 12:00:00 -0500

The Thanksgiving weekend gives us the opportunity to highlight teams and players giving back, through hurricane relief, housing, and of course, providing meals to those in need. The Rule 5 Draft is fast approaching so we get you all caught up on what it means and why it is important. We belatedly congratulate Caroline O’Connor, new president of business operations for the Marlins, and we learn the new vocabulary term, “glass cliff.” At the college level, Olivia Pichardo of Brown just became the first woman to play baseball for a Division I team. Our international baseball news is centered on Venezuela where Yadi has been ejected 4 times, Asdrubel Cabrera apologizes quite a bit but possibly not to the focus of his ire, Eugenio Suarez and Gleybor Torres get permission to play for a short time, La Tortuga goes to Japan, and Pottymouth ranks #1406 in LVBP fantasy baseball. We learn that the maternal lines are clearly strong in qualifying players for WBC teams. Patti crosstrains with hockey and wants you all to go to a game, please. Boyfriends in two weeks! It comes to light that when Pottymouth drinks wine instead of beer she loses words in addition to numbers and needs to be reminded that ASL doesn’t translate well to podcasts. But she reads Forbes.

We say “Clothesline Cabrera,” “Chutes and Ladders,” and, “The most important thing to make for Thanksgiving is a list.” Get boosted, fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

For Entertainment Purposes Only

NCiB — Tue, 22 Nov 2022 12:00:00 -0500

So many awards, so many failed predictions. Pottymouth’s pre-season ROY pick of Julio Rodriquez was the exception, reminding us all that our observations are for entertainment purposes only. Patti thinks Brandon Hyde was robbed, just a little, but otherwise we can’t really complain about the winners. We review the hot stove vocabulary word “non-tender” and things teams and players cannot say about contracts and perceived value of free agents per the CBA. We cross-train with the shame of World Cup Soccer. In international baseball we learn that Astrubal Cabrera does not enjoy a bat flip, and you are now able to hone your fantasy baseball skills with the LVPB. World Baseball Classic’s Team Japan may be a new favorite as they pick up Ohtani, Kwan, and Nootbaar. We say “doing collusion,” “that means you can’t be my boyfriend,” and “clutching Jack Daniels.”

Get boosted, fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Festive and Caramelized

NCiB — Tue, 15 Nov 2022 12:00:00 -0500

We catch you up on Platinum glove, Hank Aaron, and Player’s Choice awards, which is like watching the Golden Globes to prep for the Oscars. The GM meetings happened last week, weirdly during the “quiet period,” kicking off the official Hot Stove Season. We provide the annual qualifying offer vocabulary lesson, with offers tendered to 14 free agents. Scott Boras drives Pottymouth to defend high-end vegan restaurants and Patti to note that hamburger is in fact meat. We touch on how teams for sale and upcoming rule changes may affect the market.

Solomon Bates reminds us that we’ve never picked a Colombian team, and Venezuelan ball is looking more attractive all the time. Get your vacation requests in early for Baseball for All Nationals in July, with the location reveal coming soon, and a women’s professional baseball tournament in Sarasota in November. Please check the Babe Ruth glove in your attic, it may not be from a sporting goods store. We cross-train with the Boston Bruins where the players stand up against bullying in a very public way, and force the front office to make better choices. We say,”hot boyfriends on the stove,” “He lost me at hamburger,” “I like how you slide in and out of fictional baseball to actual baseball.”

Whatever, We Were Half Right

NCiB — Tue, 08 Nov 2022 12:00:00 -0500

We’re happy for Dusty, Pottymouth is happy for JV, Patti is resigned to scrappy not prevailing in the end. Birthday girl Pottymouth finds a way to make the World Series about the Red Sox and it just feels right. It also leads to more quality analysis of “combined no-hitter” vs. “no-hitter,” and big credit to the catcher, in this case Christian Vazquez. Jeremy Peña is the MVP and the “it” boy of the moment but we just need to note that NCiB claimed him first. No surprise that Patti names sexy defensive plays from Orioles Legend Trey Mancini and possible future BF Chas McCormick as Series turning points. And well that monster homer by BF Yordan Alvarez. The Phils had too much fun for this to be the end.

In non-series news, Gold Gloves were awarded last week, with a strong showing from NCiB’s boyfriends, past, present, and probably future. Ronald Acuña shows up in Venezuela and winter ball/WBC rumors kick in, and with Idelmaro Vargas playing for the Cardinales we consider just hoping both teams have fun rather than throwing loyalty at a team. The Hot Stove will fire up and we note that shortstop free agents will be the big news and we look to contract extensions for some of the kids. We say "drunk and appreciative," "I want to go to Aruba to think," and "fun is my second favorite f word."

Vote, get boosted, fight the man, send your game balls to Meredith, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Youthful Exuberance and School Nights

NCiB — Tue, 01 Nov 2022 12:00:00 -0400

We make our World Series calls official. Pottymouth asserts Astros in five, with all the feels for the old guys (Dusty and Justin), and the promise of the youngsters (Mauricio Dubón and Jeremy Peña). Patti leans into the joyful and the scrappy of what FoxSports calls the “Greatest College Baseball Team of All Time,” Phillies in 6. Fun fact about our skill in boyfriend selection, all runs in Game 1 were driven in by NCiB BFs. Hey, don't go looking for conspiracy theories regarding Martín Maldonado using illegal bats gifted by Albert Pujols. Safety is job one. Tony Clark, head of the player’s union, uses the moment to note this is the first World Series since 1950 without a single US-born Black player on either team. MLB youth programs to grow the game are encouraging, with 9 US-born Black players drafted in the first round, including 4 of first 5 draftees, most since 1992, but the lack of current players for kids to relate to make it an uphill battle. The dearth of Black managers and front office leadership is firmly under the control of MLB management where they can absolutely choose who to hire.

Boyfriends with bats are all over the Silver Slugger nominees, and the Fielding Bible “Defense is Sexy” Awards highlight future Guardian picks. Pottymouth gives you the heads up on World Baseball Classic tickets in Miami and in Florida. The Serie del Caribe schedule is out so clear some February time to watch the Winter Ball championship. We’ve got an allegiance swap in the LVBP, and not just so we can say Anzoátegui and Sugar Jesus. MLB cancels the Korea Series, driving the KBO to admit to being perplexed. And now we can’t stop saying “perplexed,” in addition to “vision of a glorious basement,” and “You O’d out loud!”

Blame it On The Rain

NCiB — Tue, 25 Oct 2022 12:00:00 -0400

One solid prediction made by your hosts? We picked the Phils and the Padres as “fun to watch” before the season started and the NLCS has proved us right. Our postseason BFs include qHar-adjacent Brandon Marsh, once and maybe forever BF Juan Soto, Kyle “King Tuck” Tucker, and Machete Maldonado. Patti’s former bfs on the Phillies are embracing the chaos. Pottymouth’s former HOU bf Jeremy Peña makes an impression with his bat and that whole mom thing we love. All you folks complaining that the new postseason format eliminated the teams with the best records? Win. The Games. That Matter. We like it scrappy. “Sparkles” McCullers joins the short list of players suffering ridiculous injuries with a champagne bottle incident. Our guys are all over the Gold Glove nominees, which doesn’t surprise us because defense is sexy. We circle back on the Guardians / Yankees series because even the force of Patti’s book club could not overcome the rain delay / conspiracy theories to knock out CLE.

We visit the corrections department to straighten out what teams will be playing where in the World Baseball Classic, and Pottymouth laments that Winter Ball is now a home for all the guys on the “never gonna be a boyfriend” list. We could not be prouder of DC Girls Baseball player and friend off the show Maggie Heaphy, for her invitation to the elite 4th Annual Girls Breakthrough Series and her leadership in starting The Leadoff Initiative. We say “That is why we drink. To support the local economy,” “I kinda want to crosstrain with Gritty,” and, “This is them booing against the Yankees, financially.”

Your Effin’ Guy Has Earned My Effin’ Admiration

NCiB — Tue, 18 Oct 2022 12:00:00 -0400

Junior Pottymouth and his hours-old Mariners cap sit in while Patti splits for the beach. Playoff ponderings include the rise of the underdogs, just how many non-baseball things you can do during an 18-inning game and still see most of it, and the lefty vegan pitching for the Hammers. Manny Machado not only being That Shirtless Guy but also learning phrases in Korean to encourage teammate Ha-seong Kim have almost won Pottymouth over. Wil Myers and his wife are already our people, buying celebratory shots in bars for fans all over town. Seattle, where a roof is a reasonable choice, chose to play with it open on Saturday, when Seattle’s air quality index was one of the worst in the world. On the other hand, Mariners provided a mirror to the statue of late play by play announcer Dave Niehaus so he could watch the playoff game happening behind his back.

Junior Pottymouth questions the MVP take that Aaron Judge was under more pressure than Ohtani this season so that should factor in to voting. Pottymouth thinks that is just fruit salad. The Police Blotter is slimier than usual with what we learn around the sentencing of Eric Kay in the death of Tyler Skaggs. Pottymouth wants to work in a moderately priced side trip to see the Arizona leg of the World Baseball Classic – at least those tickets are already on sale. Jazz will represent Great Britain, and Ken Griffey, Jr. is the hitting coach for Team USA. Winter Ball is getting started – find your streaming service! We say “Bernie Bro on the Big Stage,” “Oh God I agree with A-Rod,” and “That Jazz Pizazz.”

Feeding our AL East Revenge Needs

NCiB — Tue, 11 Oct 2022 12:00:00 -0400

Your BOS and BAL fan co-hosts relished the sweeps of AL East Wildcard teams, the crazy records for shortest game and longest scoreless game, SpongeBob walk-offs, shirtless cellies, multiple greatest comebacks of all time, shoes on heads, and Mets fans behaving predictably badly. Going forward to the next round we may see biblical plagues, all the Dusty, and none of the Chapman.

Batting titles go to Jeff McNeil and Luis Arráez as do gifts from their teammates. Adley grades teammates qHar, Curt has Dad Power, and both Pottymouth and all Phillies Fans find kinship with Brandon Marsh’s flippin’ family. Dennis Eckersley retires after 50 years in the game. Pottymouth claims a WBC team and all it took was Kiké joining Team Puerto Rico. Patti is intrigued by Team Israel but is still assuming the DR will be the one.

Congrats to Bo Knows Boyfriends for a convincing win in this year’s Fantasy Boyfriend Baseball League. We say “This is Cleveland, we drink there,” “every team has that shirtless guy,” and “of course it was a Birkenstock.”

Eye of the Beholder

NCiB — Tue, 04 Oct 2022 12:00:00 -0400

We start off the last week of the regular season by setting up Wildcard Weekend, and looking to next year with Ohtani’s record deal and yet another return of Miggy. There was so much news about hair that we created a whole segment – Gunnar Henderson is Minor League Player of the Year, Harold Ramirez’s blue hair for autism awareness may inspire more postseason blue for the Rays, and cross-training with hockey introduces us to Buoy the Sea Troll, the new mascot of the Seattle Kraken, who sports long blue hair as a “nod to hockey flow.”

The Cubs celebrate A League of Their Own in fine style, leading to a question about when is a baseball bat not a baseball bat – when it is a cane belonging to 95 year old Maybelle Blair and please let her take it on the plane. We love the weeks when Police Blotter can focus on multiple balks in one at bat. World Baseball Classic news focuses on Pakistan, Panama, and the seriously stirring and intimidating Haka done by the New Zealand team as a pregame ritual. Yadi will manage Puerto Rico, which involves more drama than one would guess, and the Puerto Rican women’s league is taking a hurricane break in the season but the players are rolling up sleeves to help with disaster relief. The Hammers visit the White House in a surprisingly politics-free event, for better or worse. We say “Scorpions in your head,” “I’m done with my consonants,” and “I’ll process everybody’s sins if you get them to me before Thursday.”

Breaking Records is Fun

Voxtopica — Tue, 27 Sep 2022 12:00:00 -0400

As the regular season winds down, milestones both personal and historic are in reach, and our baseball boyfriends are all over it. We ponder rooting for or against these achievements either as a spoiler or as a judge of moral character, player overreach trying to get there, and just how many catcher-brother pairs actually exist in professional baseball. Patti found a law enforcement career to get behind, and it is the MLB Authentication Program. Who knew it was all due to Tony Gwynn? And that you can authenticate anything you want?

Our Postseason Watch looks at the Guardians, the youngest team to ever make the playoffs and win their division. We highlight great baseball parents in podcasting and in team ownership. Pottymouth pencils in the specific days in March we need to be in Miami for the World Baseball Classic, and celebrates the Czech comeback and the rise and fall of the Spanish empire, and uses the opportunity to claim next year’s Red Sox boyfriend. We say “It makes me think of tea, but also gin,” “The cargo pants pockets of Mr. Pottymouth,” and “Teeny bit hoodwinked.” Also Patti refrains from making a single 700 Club joke. Also this story will make you cry in a good way.

Enforce it, But Wink

NCiB — Tue, 20 Sep 2022 12:00:00 -0400

The minor league union is official, the 21st Roberto Clemente Day is honored in style, and postseason prep has begun. We drink theme beer, learn all infields are not equal and get lost in Vinnie Pasquantino’s syllables. Bobby’s qHar gets some notice by people who are not us and Ke’Bryan learns about appropriate snack timing. Joey Meneses and his inside the park HR contribute to the return of Patti’s Happy Place. Adam Jones teaches us how to negotiate a contract (a plane ticket and beer!), as the WBC qualifiers are in full swing. A tip of the NCiB ballcap to the seven women playing college ball this year. We say “tiny little pocket constitutions, “take the mojo where you can get it,” and “we taught the Brits how to woo.”

Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Ban the Wave, Not the Shift

NCiB — Tue, 13 Sep 2022 12:00:00 -0400

New rules are coming and we’ve got the details and so many opinions. The new minor league union is coming, and we’ve got details and entirely predictable opinions. Pottymouth cheers on Edmundo Sosa’s turnaround, an historic battery, and as always, Kiké. Patti’s bf Lars Nootbaar makes the police blotter a happy place, and Adley continues to make baseball a happy place. It’s time to vote for your choice of our past baseball boyfriends for the Roberto Clemente award. Someone please send Pottymouth a Sababoy plushie. We say “five hole,” “the pepper grinder was unsanctioned,” and “yay, old guys!” And Terry Francona says “lift and separate.”

Even the Mascot has Game Face

NCiB — Tue, 06 Sep 2022 12:00:00 -0400

Your 100% unionized (most of the time) podcast team breaks down the process in motion to authorize the MLBPA to collectively bargain on behalf of minor league players. It’s happening. Gunnar Henderson takes over the league lead in Quality Hair Above Replacement. Pottymouth explores the alternate career choices of Rafael Devers and Kike Hernandez. Paul Goldschmidt, Spencer Strider, and Aaron Judge are on tears that did not appear in our truly abysmal pre-season predictions. If you are going to have sex at a ballpark, clearly Rogers Centre is your best choice. There will be MLB baseball in Mexico City, WBC rosters grow, and so does Puerto Rican women’s baseball. We crosstrain with the WNBA. We say, “follow us for cocktail recommendations but don’t go to Vegas with our predictions,” “We’re going to segue from THAT to unionizing the minors?,” and “I need a chopstick.”

The O's Bandwagon has Cocktails

NCiB — Tue, 30 Aug 2022 12:00:00 -0400

Even theme cocktails won’t get Pottymouth to commit to the Orioles bandwagon. Yet. We celebrate the streak of Adolis Garcia, the resurgence of TJ Friedl, and the homecoming of Gavin Sheets. We ask important questions like “Who DFA’s Jesus?” and “anyone know where to get a safe tattoo in the state of NY?” J-Rod is a Mariner for life, and Oneil Cruz is very strong and very tall. The new and balanced 2023 season schedule has the AL East breathing a sigh of relief. With the first day of school upon us, we find a way to use Rodolfo Castro as a cell phone teaching moment. We say, “Oh honey. Kike has always been hot,” and for the first time ever, “good job, Hammers fans.”

Maybe His Frontal Cortex will Grow

NCiB — Tue, 23 Aug 2022 12:00:00 -0400

After a get to know you tequila shot, Suzy of the new Bourbon & Baseball podcast, and our own fantasy league, joins Pottymouth for this week’s show while Patti lifts heavy things in Syracuse. Pottymouth braves Camden Yards without Patti because Kiké is back and there were bleacher seats to be had. Our pal Brett was DFA’d, making room for rising star Kyle Stowers. Suzy brings the Astros love and reassures us that all of our former BFs are being well taken care of by the Houston fan base. Pottymouth ponders the parenting style of Fernando’s mom and dad. Suzy fits right in with a Yankees Suck segment, and enjoys how opposing teams believe the ‘stros can hack pitchcom. In the Police Blotter, Ozuna gets hit with a DUI, Blake Snell gets hit by a DUI, and we wonder about a secret backstory to Hader’s move to the Padres. Pottymouth catches us up on qualifiers for the Women’s World Cup and possibly drops a hack to getting World Baseball Classic tickets. We say “blanket of orange,” and “His strength came in his facial hair.”

The Stars Were Bright, Fernando

NCiB — Tue, 16 Aug 2022 12:00:00 -0400

Tatis, Jr. has disappointed his teammates, his coaches, and perhaps most terrifying, Abba-singing moms. We discuss the suspension, maturity levels, and the need to make better choices. Skye Bolt needs to make better choices for breakfast, but “leaves it all on the field” for the As. Jeurys Familia leads us to discuss if players can earn their way off the never gonna be a boyfriend list. Solomon Bates comes out and gets an indy ball gig. Advocates for Minor Leaguers checks Manfred’s math and it does not turn out well for the Commissioner. Paul Goldschmidt, J.T. Realmuto and Bryce Harper join Team USA for the World Baseball Classic, and you can watch women’s world cup qualifiers right now. We say, “Don’t eat things that are suspect,” “Assistant Captain America,” and “Anzoategui,” again.

Channel Your Inner Ted Lasso

NCiB — Tue, 09 Aug 2022 12:00:00 -0400

The trade deadline gave us all the feels from “Baseball is Fun” to so much crying in baseball. We give you the rundown on how our favorite teams did and where our boyfriends ended up. Pottymouth laments Christian Vasquez and Patti is all in on Phillips 66. Our friends at Friars on the Farm are a great resource on the former San Diego prospects on the move. Women are playing baseball the world over and more teasers drop about the World Baseball Classic. We crosstrain with the Britney Griner prison sentence. Big Papi can do anything and is a master of timing. We say “Social Justice Josh Wash,” “So many neeners,” and “Cannabis” an unusual number of times.

We're Steeped in Something

NCiB — Tue, 02 Aug 2022 12:00:00 -0400

West Coast Correspondent Deborah joins Patti to talk Max, mud, and Manfred while Pottymouth is on the road. Another eat the rich rant emerges from Rob Manfred’s letter regarding the anti-trust exemption, which merely proves that the Commissioner is completely detached from the gig economy and a sense of right and wrong in addition to the math of a living wage. The expanded playoff plan seems to be working for your hosts as they are already quoting games behind in the Wildcard for teams that last year would be out of it. Austin Hays creates a scholarship and checks off a future boyfriend box. Max shows his old guy traits. Deborah gets a lead on the secret location of the mud. Is Walltimore catching on in the AL East? The Rogers Centre plans say maybe so! The International Draft proposal dies with a whimper. Why is there a trashcan of baseball pants on Patti’s deck?

We say “science-ify,” “The double-bird is not how I greet *my* friends, but okay,” and “I just turned into Norma Rae.”

Eat the Rich, Drink Tequila

NCiB — Tue, 26 Jul 2022 12:00:00 -0400

Women in Baseball Week and National Tequila Day coincide and it looks just like the NCiB Venn diagram. Pottymouth gives us the historical perspective of the record-setting game between the Blue Jays and that other team and manages to celebrate our boyfriend’s fine showing. Except for the one, which may get re-dumped. Soto Watch includes the Nats steep asking price, and air travel trash talk. We are seriously bad at pre-season predictions and prove it at this mid-season check-in. A tearful Pottymouth recounts the Hall of Fame induction of Big Papi, and those other honorees that don’t make her cry. Patti’s Eat the Rich rant exposes the crassness of Commissioner Rob Manfred “rejecting the premise” that minor league players do not earn a living wage. In a nutshell, Manfred earns the average AAA annual salary in approximately two hours.

Women in Baseball week is being celebrated in all the right ways. Baseball for All nationals hosted 450 girl ballplayers, support from major league teams, a new Shirley Burkovich Hustle Award, and a preview of the new League of Her Own series that Maybelle Blair says tells the real story. The Women’s National Open proceeded right into the national team tryouts and we have our fingers crossed for a local favorite.

We say “I’ve got Pottymouth and tequila so I’ll get through this,” “I’m just going to take one little sip of tequila here,” “I’ve only finished half, oh no, two-thirds, of my tequila.”

Safety is Job One

NCiB — Tue, 19 Jul 2022 12:00:00 -0400

Pottymouth survived both Red Sox at Yankee Stadium and the Dead at Citifield and tells us all about it. Game day descriptions include boyfriend highlights (fun to celebrate a Jeter homer at Yankee Stadium), and a little too much information theater. Matt Carpenter has found his swing, Whit Merrifield’s consecutive game streak ends in a wimper, and rookie Adley Rutschman’s pinch hit homer is the first since Trey. Will Soto make Pottymouth regret the City Connect jersey? Is $440million really not enough? We boldly predict Home Run Derby winners. So many draft-eligible players are children of professional ball players – nature or nurture?

Eve Rosenbaum joins the Os front office, and Nelson Cruz gets the nod to manage the Dominican Republic’s World Baseball Classic team. In the labor report, the threat of an All Star Game strike gets the parties back to the negotiating table in the fight for higher wages for Dodger Stadium concession workers. Thousands of minor leaguers will be due part of a $185million class action settlement because of minimum wage and overtime violations.

We say “Just a little seething,” “His forearms outrank your situational power,” and “I too have children.”

Walk-Off Bingo

NCiB — Tue, 12 Jul 2022 12:00:00 -0400

Patti and the Pottymouth record from neighborhood brewery 3Stars and wish them a fond farewell on their last day of operations. Pottymouth has been back to Fenway so she has a LOT to say, including reports of a hero named Jeter. Patti celebrates the return of Corey’s bat, the historic naming of Jazz to the All-Star roster, and the water wings of probable future BF J-Rod. There is pondering over the Os just being fun, or are they actually good. The UK hosts Derby X (is it “ex” or “ten? We don’t know!) which sounds exactly like something we would come up with over tasty beer at a local brewery.

Patti gives you the basics on how next week’s draft works, as well as an overview of the latest proposals for an international draft. Important events in girls baseball are happening from T-ball to elite levels. Advocates for Minor Leaguers toss around terms like “minor league conspiracy” and “illegal” in their response to the Senate request for information on MLB’s antitrust exemption. Pottymouth makes travel plans for the World Baseball Classic. We say “little umbrellas in our drinks,” “hard and bitter,” and “Chipotle or lobster?”

Apologies to the Women and Children

NCiB — Tue, 05 Jul 2022 12:00:00 -0400

The Angels-Mariners brawl turns out to be a treasure trove of boyfriend activity including suspensions, pizza deliveries, giant tips for drivers, and another Abigail Situation. We break down Freddie’s no good very bad week. Pottymouth un-dumps Jerran Duran and puts dibs on Jonathan Araúz as a possible future bp. We say farewell to Lo Cain, welcome our As bfs to the show, and appreciate Raimel Tapia’s dramatic qHar reveal. Kyle Tucker runs on PitchCom. Good humans this week include David Price, Joe Ross, and Liam Hendriks for speaking out on reproductive rights, and Max Scherzer treats the Rumble Ponies to a feast to remember during his re-hab stint. Note to Stras, you can do better than Chipotle.

The Senate Judiciary Committee reached out to Advocates for Minor Leaguers which signals movement on MLB’s antitrust exemption, the reason minor league players are allowed poor wages and conditions. A vote decided Oakland’s Howard Terminal is not a port after all, which means the As are not yet going to Vegas. The Padres released their City Connect unis this week and we are ready for the beach! We say “smells like wine, tastes like beer,” extreme Yankees exposure, and “temper the passion, protect the skull.”

Stop SAYING Things

NCiB — Tue, 28 Jun 2022 12:00:00 -0400

We learned that commenting on the pace of a game in progress is as bad as saying “no-hitter” in the midst of one, and get called “Karen” for noting that a combined no-no is different from a no-no. We launch into the SCOTUS rant that you knew was coming, but don’t worry, we deftly tie it to baseball and provide a checklist of specific actions including standing up AND sitting down, and being like Lauren. Pottymouth loses another boyfriend due to character flaws, we get a “Let’s Go, Jeter” chant at Fenway that we can get behind, and Patti remains stuck with Adley’s mustache because you don’t mess with a streak. Hell has frozen over as we agree with Buck over Dusty. Pottymouth proposes a qHar bracket.

We introduce you to Proud to be in Baseball, founded by Bryan Ruby, which supports LGBTQ+ ballplayers in high school, college, and beyond. Rainbows appear in LMB (the Mexican baseball league) and we learn non gendered vocabulary words in Spanish! The Venezuelan Women’s baseball semi-finals concluded this weekend, with Pottymouth noting 3 women umpires, and the ability to watch games on YouTube. Patti shares the joy of the pressbox during collegiate summer league games. We say “Super spreader bat mitzvah,” “Even the mustard is gay,” and by popular demand, “Anzoátegui.”

Moms agree, We are the Concussion Cure

NCiB — Tue, 21 Jun 2022 12:00:00 -0400

While Pottymouth takes in an As game with our west coast pals, Patti holds the fort with guest host, and avid softball fan, Avery. Avery recaps the glory that is the champion Oklahoma Sooners softball team, led by star coach Patty Glasso and reminds us of the joy of watching action-packed college softball. In boyfriend news we praise Adley’s bat but worry about his qHar, praise Mark Canha and Taijuan Walker for their support of Pride Night, and sneak in Junior Pottymouth’s praise for Manny Machado’s milestone while Pottymouth isn’t looking.

Maybelle Blair makes us happy, not so much the Brewers new City Connect unis. The Mets engage about minor league conditions, and the NYT comes down hard on The Athletic. We recap some off the joy that is summer collegiate baseball and WAIT! Pottymouth breaks in with a surprise interview with friend of the show Braden, and Braden’s mom (!) from the Oakland Coliseum.

We say “toot her own boyfriend horn,” “If you’re going to put in all that effort…make it cute,” and “the unifying emotion is mortification.”

I’ll get the Woo, You get the Hoo

NCiB — Tue, 14 Jun 2022 12:00:00 -0400

Patti is back from the plague, in time for the boyfriend home run barrage. Former bfs light up Gerrit Cole for home runs in the first three batters of a game. Three bfs currently on the Nationals homer back to back to back. Pottymouth wants bonus qHAR points for clutch pitching from Camilo Doval. Adley’s bat wakes up, Jake’s stays woke, and Jazz introduces the “I don’t care” tool to the collection. The Corrections department revisits the Rays and the Pride upheaval, and corrects Florida Governor DeSantis as everything he knows is wrong.

Will LaRussa firmly taking responsibility for his decisions prevent him from following in the footsteps of Joe Maddon and Joe Girardi? The Angels bring out the disco for Jared Walsh’s cycle, and we debate whether their City Connect unis are pretty good or just fine. We are horrified by the number of transphobic bills harming student athletes and encourage you to act locally. The Angelos family, owners of the Orioles, bring the drama. Sons of Hall of Famers and All Stars stack the Brockton Rox and remind us to remind you to find your nearest summer collegiate baseball league and take in some games.

We say “man bun,” “wealth of baseball-adjacent knowledge,” and “my dad looks nothing like Pedro Martinez.”

Pride and Prejudice

NCiB — Tue, 07 Jun 2022 12:00:00 -0400

We’ve got a position player pitching! Patti is out with the plague which counts as down by 6 runs, so West Coast Correspondent Deborah joins Pottymouth and her Jamesons-spiked coffee for this week’s show.

We give a rundown on notable Pride month actions including Tampa Bay using the Progress Pride symbol (which is inclusive of black and brown and trans people) but leaving it to an “individual decision by players” as to wearing it or not. The Dodgers celebrate their 9th Glenn Burke Day, wearing pride hats on the field for the first time. On June 11th, for Pride Day at Oracle Park, the Giants and Dodgers will be the first teams to jointly wear their progress pride hats on the field at same time. The Blue Jays get a nod for availability of gender-neutral bathrooms and donations to a local organization working with their staff on diversity and inclusion. Again the Yankees say “We don’t do any theme nights” and the Texas Rangers are silent.

Meanwhile, the Ohio’s GOP-led house snuck language mandating a verification process for “suspected” trans athletes into an unrelated bill. This subjects any school athlete suspected of being trans to an external and internal examination. This horrific proposal affects everyone and could happen anywhere. It's everyone's responsibility to fight it so vote accordingly. Let the kids play.

Patti’s Nats bf Lane Thomas has a 3 home run game, and former bf Willians Astudillo not only stole a base on May 28, but then pitched a scoreless inning vs the Giants. Former bf (and current West Coast Correspondent bf) Joc Pederson’s 3 home run game, was capped by a single leading to a walk-off win. What lead to his all time great hitting game? Joc says “Barry Bonds was at the park and I talked to him for an hour.” Tommy Pham calls Mike Trout the worst commissioner in fantasy sports, which proves that Patti is better than Mike Trout with the possible exception of hitting and fielding (although we don’t know that for sure). Xander Bogaerts broke the record for games played at short for Red Sox at 1094. Give the longest tenured player on the team the C!

Patreon supporter Bryan Jones uses his power for good to remind us all to watch the NCAA College Baseball Tournament. We share his LSU-centric thoughts including players to watch citing sexy defense and exceptional qHar, yet still manage to work in a go Terps! And a Buster Posey mention. Our fantasy league acted locally to punish Aaron Judge for denigrating OPACY. The Kids made their one and only trade ever to rid themselves of the perp, with the Leftovers promising to keep him on the bench.

We say “All purpose reactionary” “Tampa Bay is the least objectionable part of Florida,” and “Life changing pep talk without wearing pants.”

In our fantasy league, no one gets slapped

NCiB — Tue, 31 May 2022 12:00:00 -0400

After a field trip to see the Fredericksburg Nationals, Patti and the Pottymouth recorded this snack-sized, but jam-packed, episode over pizza and beer and perilously close to corn hole. The good news is we did NOT get kicked out of the ballpark (officially or recreationally) for sharing any of our opinions which appeared to differ greatly from the majority of the fans in the park, if t-shirt sentiments are to be believed, nor for the expressly stated “no profanity” rule. The other good news is Stephen Strasburg looked great in his re-hab assignment,we got to meet Patti’s adopted minor leaguer, the FredNats won, and we found Adventure Brewing and Rosie’s Pizza Truck.

This week was a tipping point in “sticking to sports” as calls for sensible gun laws permeated media interviews, video boards, and social media. Gabe Kapler takes a stand by not standing but making sure we know why, Natasha Cloud calls for backup and Sean Doolittle responds, and the Yankees and Rays social media teams jump into the fray.

Pottymouth witnessed Juan Soto’s 200th double and shared quality time with the Nat’s Woo Guy. In other boyfriend news, Ildemara Vargas goes to Rochester, Bobby Witt becomes a doubles machine, George Springer makes a difference, and this piece about Adley Rutschman is a must-read of the week. Gerardo Parra retires – but not completely. Pottymouth profiles Verónica Hernández, of the Modesto Nuts, the first Latina GM in an affiliated team, and holds her example out as a possible career path for Patti. In our Police Blotter, MLB calls out ballparks at all levels for not providing the required adequate facilities for women traveling with teams, and gives them a deadline to show how they will make it right. Josh Donaldson is suspended for calling Tim Anderson “Jackie,” and Tommy Pham is out for three games for slapping Joc Pederson over old fantasy league beef.

We say “They shuffle on the bottom,” “That’s my Woo situation,” and “Really good with pickles!”

Inside (the) Baseball

NCiB — Tue, 24 May 2022 12:00:00 -0400

Dr. Meredith Wills joins us to talk about what’s up with the dead/mushy/squishy baseball. We learn about her years as the “destroyer of baseballs” to look for changes in construction, materials, anything that makes the ball behave differently from year to year or even game to game. Consider the humidor! Our give the ball to a kid mantra evolves into a more complicated algorithm ending in “send the ball to Meredith.”

Patti’s birthday wish was granted and Adley Rutschman finally got his call up – hijinks ensue. We say "as a knitter," "frizzy hair solution," and "you can shuffle Juan."

Get boosted, fight the man, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

I Could Be Pitchcom

NCiB — Tue, 17 May 2022 12:00:00 -0400

During a *real* no-hitter, Patti’s former forever BF Anthony Rendon homers from the left off of the “American Ohtani” and her other former forever BF Christian Yelich hits for his 3rd cycle vs the Reds. Pottymouth’s forever BF Juan Soto walks into history books once again. Mauricio Dubón and his childhood dream go to the Astros, James McCann is about to gain superpowers, and Josh Naylor earns his celly. Will Patti get an Adley call-up for her birthday? Kyle Tucker puts in a good day’s work, and the Royals are full of wit/Witt/Whit. Kumar Rocker is the best thing to happen to the ValleyCats since the Mayors’ Race.

Cuba and Curaçao make Serie del Caribe 2023, Pottymouth's Happy Place, even better! We cross train with an update on Britney Griner’s continued detention in Russia – please make this a big deal. And it isn’t championship season SOMEWHERE without your hosts going off on Games Seven vs Game Sevens.

We say “pocket-sized alien,” “Mark Wahlberg and a beer,'' and “The woodsy i invented all by myself.”

Orange Makes it Brunch

NCiB — Tue, 10 May 2022 12:00:00 -0400

This episode, recorded on location in Rochester, NY on Mother’s Day morning, features spiked coffee and more than the usual number of people named Pottymouth. Our AAA Rochester Redwings outing was like a visit to boyfriends past, with a pitch clock. “Adley Watch” and “adorable fourth grader of the week” appear to be new regular segments – the latter with the takeaways that 1) vaccinations make adorable possible and 2) give the ball to a kid. We celebrate Miggy, Dusty, and Buster.

We share an interlude of fireside baseball stories from friends, family, and the aforementioned collection of Pottymouths. We could do a whole series on the star-studded Australian Women’s Baseball Showcase. The Police Blotter features an unexpected apology from an umpire, and we visit the basement of our fantasy league. We say, “Family baseball dynamics,” It’s early and coffee instead of later and beer,” and “The zombie verb you are looking for.”

Fight Me

NCiB — Tue, 03 May 2022 12:00:00 -0400

Patti is willing to die on the hill of a combined no-hitter not being a no-no. Pottymouth is deeply tired of discussing Trevor Bauer who is appealing his record-setting suspension but otherwise is not appealing in any way. The Contreras brothers and the “brothers” from the Bahamas (Jazz and Lucius) warm our hearts this week, as does too-soon BF Christian Pache. Carlos Rodón is a bright spot in Pottymouth’s otherwise IL-troubled boyfriend team, and we are officially on Adley Watch.

The Yankee Letter disappoints, and we may have taken the fun out of your holiday party. On one hand, Mexican baseball is big fun – see Junior Lake stealing all the bases at once, on the other, the LMB is the land of second chances for abusers. The new CPBL team brings the green! Over 1000 minor leaguers petition MLB for Spring Break paychecks, as a baby step to unionization. We continue to try not to judge City Connect uniforms, but ESPN has no such restrictions. And your hosts are super happy in the basement.

We say “Kiké pants,” “Going down rabbit holes with tequila,” and “It's a good thing that I’m well oiled for this one.”

The Wrong Kind of Beer Parade

NCiB — Tue, 26 Apr 2022 12:00:00 -0400

In this snack-sized episode, Patti and Pottymouth hit the road to see some High-A baseball and record on location at Wilmington Brew Works. Yankees fans pelt Guardians outfielders with debris and it may be our fault for not including “Just don’t throw shit on the field” in our ballpark rules. Myles Straw climbing the outfield wall to defend Steven Kwan inks him onto Patti’s BF list for next year, and former bf Josh Naylor explains how things should have gone in absolutely NCiB terms. Hey Miggy, you’re so fine! We can’t not salute historic hit #3000. Kelsie Whitmore of the Staten Island Ferry Hawks pinch runs her way into the history books.

In our Police Blotter, Tim Anderson flips off Cleveland fans and we explain the whole Yankee Letter situation. There’s energizer Panda Power in the LMB. We saw the pitch clock in action during a highly efficient game between the Wilmington Blue Rocks and the Hickory Crawdads, then backed up our anecdotal findings with actual data. During its first 132 games in use, the current pitch clock rules have knocked an average of 20 minutes off of game time.

We say “Mr. Celery,” “karma bit them in the butt,” and “Nakken rhymes with Kraken.”

Rum is the Death of Us

NCiB — Tue, 19 Apr 2022 12:00:00 -0400

Alyssa Nakken makes history again while just doing her job adjacent to an “unfortunate racist incident” as we remind you that there’s a reason unwritten rules aren’t written. Alec Bohm makes 1) Patti’s Phillies prediction come true early and 2) Pottymouth feel right at home. Ke’Bryan Hayes rakes in the beer money while Heliot Ramos settles for a cup of coffee. Joe Maddon sends Corey Seager on a surprising walk.

Patti takes Albert Pujols’ announcement of his decision to divorce his wife days after her brain tumor surgery very personally and Pottymouth sends his shirt to the thrift store in solidarity. MLB’s Trailblazer series in Vero, Florida hosts 11-13 year old girls from 25 states plus these places that are not states: Puerto Rico, Washington, DC, and Canada. Roki Sasaki has faced 52 batters without giving up a hit, leading us to ponder which is more important – the potential perfect game, or preserving the streak?

Mark “We’ll never sell the Nationals” Lerner announces that the ownership group is exploring selling the Nationals. Patti is concerned about agreeing with Buck Showalter. NCiB encourages you to Adopt a Minor Leaguer, since all the cool kids are doing it. We say “fragile masculinity issues,” “when does it stop being weird?” and “I vote for hoodwinking.”

Don’t Question the Voice in Your Head

NCiB — Tue, 12 Apr 2022 12:00:00 -0400

Opening weekend brought us PitchCom, a couple of bench-clearing conversations, and a labor rant about MLB mobile ordering not allowing us to tip our stadium workers. Seth Beer proves our bf designation absolutely on point, plus boyfriend heroics from Teoscar Hernandez, Bobby Witt, Jr., and Juan Soto. There’s former bf joy with Nelson Cruz (if you *have* to have a DH…) and picked too soon Joey Bart, plus dominos falling with Pedro Severino. Jazz and Rachel go full Pottymouth. Patti searches desperately for a rhyme with Buck to describe her feelings for the Bucks Showalter and Joe. We add Staten Island to our ballpark tour plans to see Kelsie Whitmore in action. 20 year old Rōki Sasaki’s perfect game leads our international baseball news. And because we can’t help it, we spend a lot of time on sock height, what “striking out the side” really means, and imposing our own rules for ballpark behavior.

We say “extra slippy,” “I can hook you up with that koozie,” and “our frickin’ Church of Baseball.”

Udders Up!

Voxtopica — Tue, 05 Apr 2022 12:00:00 -0400

Patti and the Pottymouth boldly predict the upcoming season’s award winners and champions. Our logic is as airtight as you would expect (Patti goes where the Matts go and Pottymouth follows her heart). The minor leagues are brazenly getting to second base more quickly, and taking all of our money with this year’s ¡Copa de Diversión! merch. We congratulate the Tigers for treating Tork right, the Cardinals for bringing back Tio Albert, and the O’s coming to an agreement with Trey Mancini. Our police blotter drags the litigation happy usual suspect as well as the universal DH. We’re watching for an expat Cuban team in the 2023 World Baseball Classic, and welcome the start of the season in the CPBL, KBO, and NBP. Heartfelt condolences to the family and friends of baseball icon Shirley Burkovich.

We say “the piña poof,” “Say Yes to the Beverages,” and “I have Monkees 45s.”

Vigilant and Unpredictable

NCiB — Tue, 29 Mar 2022 08:20:03 -0400

Patti and the Pottymouth reveal their Fantasy Boyfriend Baseball rosters for the new season, backing up their selections with references to Wardle vs Wordle strategies, adult beverages, philanthropy, children, and cars. So that tracks. Sticky stuff is back, bringing a new level of awkward to umpire duties. NYC caves to the sports lobby and rolls back a vaccine mandate, while Toronto fans tell unvaxxed players on US teams where to put their accusations of competitive imbalance. The Red Sox hold the line and Trevor Story makes a good choice. Pottymouth highlights women’s baseball in Pakistan, Malaysia, and Venezuela. UK Women go to France, and Australian women go to the finals. How about the view from this ballpark, setting the record for game played at highest elevation? Bernie Sanders wants to Save American Baseball from the whims of billionaire owners and we were with him even before he said “oligarch.” We say “hogwashy,” “if she says so, it IS so,” “back up articulation,” and refer to the Blue Jays as “that other bird.”

March is Mad and Rocking

Voxtopica — Tue, 22 Mar 2022 12:00:00 -0400

NCiB boyfriends of the past are making splashy news in trades and free agency. We dwell on Freddie and the Welcome Matts, Eugenio’s qHar, and Miami’s Soler power, among other big bats and homecomings. We profile our fantasy pitching squads – Pottymouth goes west coast with Giants pitching, and Patti is still grooving on Hammers pitching since the World Series. COVID protocols are back in conversation, along with juggling NYC vaccine mandates and Canada’s public health protections. How ‘bout those Red Sox getting stragglers vaxxed?

Our Police Blotter is on repeat with extensions of Trevor Bauer’s admin leave, but also drags Ohio Girl Patti’s Cleveland Browns down to the gutter. Also a crime? The spring training caps frying the scalps of the faint of hair. Big news in the world of Minor League Baseball as a federal judge rules that minor league players are full time employees, not seasonal, so minimum wage and other labor standards apply! Stay tuned! CA State Senator Josh Becker introduced the Minor League Player’s Bill of Rights. Things Are Happening. Spring Training Breakfast Baseball is back with the CPBL.

“We say “horrific piece of legislation,” “a lot of people spend a lot of time on those bridesmaids,” and “Benji but with schnauzer ears.”

Ideally, You Have an Adult Beverage in One Hand

Voxtopica — Tue, 15 Mar 2022 12:00:00 -0400

Cheers to the end of the lockout, the beginning of spring training, and finally an Opening Day countdown. Patti walks you through the new CBA agreement including the rule changes, the Police Blotter feels like old times, and Pottymouth suffers the first bitter breakup of the current boyfriend season. We celebrate Pottymouth’s restraint in having saved Wander Franco until this year as her Ray’s pick, while Patti chooses dancemaster Ji-man Choi. With the matchmaking skills of our West Coast Correspondent, Pottymouth is set up, maybe too soon, with Heliot Ramos of the Giants, and Patti looks forward to CupCheck and crosswords with Curt Casali. Hamate surgery rears its ugly head but could lead to superpowers for CPBL boyfriend Lin An-Ko.

We say “Ukraine strong,” “99 bottles of beer on the wall,” and “pour one out for the DH.”

Can We Also Ban Rob Manfred?

Voxtopica — Tue, 08 Mar 2022 12:00:00 -0500

There should be a new NCiB drinking game for the number of times we say “league-imposed lock-out” in this episode. This week’s CBA negotiation update requires Patti to add yet another layer of complication to Rule 5 Draft, talk about ghost wins (they are a thing!), note that the player’s union is taking steps to protect stadium workers but as yet the League is all talk, and remind dear listeners that spring training and the regular season could have started on time, while negotiations are in progress, except for the, say it with us, “league-imposed lock-out.”

Pottymouth chooses Martín “Machete” Maldonado, and Patti highlights Kyle “Maybe MVP” Tucker as Astros boyfriends. For the Dodgers, both of us lean into the good guy and excellent significant other aspect of boyfriend selection with Pottymouth going with Chris Taylor and Patti selecting Matt Beaty. Our women in baseball segment notes Baseball For All's upcoming 1st Women's College Club Baseball Championship tournament, Mexico’s moves to start a league, and the Mets hire of Elizabeth Benn to direct Major League Operations. We crosstrain with women’s soccer to say it’s about damn time equal pay happenns, and with women’s basketball to share our concern and support for Brittney Griner, currently detained in Russia.

We say “our pal Bernie Sanders” and “The owners should suck it the hell up and write big honking checks.”

We Digress or We Drink

Voxtopica — Tue, 01 Mar 2022 12:00:00 -0500

We get feisty over “hostile” CBA negotiations, and stand with “furious” players. We call Rob Manfred on his ridiculous assertion that there is a deadline that needs to be met or games get canceled. It’s YOUR lockout, MLB! Thank you Atlanta Hammers for being compelled to release your financials therefore providing actual data. And for you billionaire vs millionaire folks, please give Sara Sanchez’s Thousandaires piece a read. Pottymouth requests a vegetarian version of new CWS boyfriend Leury Garcia’s “Tres Golpes,” while Patti picks Gavin Sheets, only partially because she gets to name check Journey, Larry Sheets, and Cal Ripken. Pottymouth selects mindfully meditative Tyrone Taylor of the Brewers, and Patti selects Jace Peterson only partially because she gets to name check Mallory Pugh.

CPBL players and the league have their first CBA, and a sixth team on the way. We hope for a World Baseball Classic sometime soon and we root for a Baker/Tebow appearance on Team Philippines. We say “Sistine Chapel”, “Did a Google” and “Backseat Hairbrush.”

How Much Money Do You NEED?

Voxtopica — Tue, 22 Feb 2022 12:00:00 -0500

Forced to find the good in the Yankees, Pottymouth is clearly won over by new BF Estevan Florial. Patti gives the nod to impeccably groomed Giancarlo Stanton and his “fricking forearms.” For the Cardinals, Pottymouth flies like an eagle with Edmundo “Mundito” Sosa and Patti cheers Noots-not-boos for Lars Nootbaar. We note that it is the lockout, not CBA negotiations, forcing a delay in spring training games and we catch you up on the latest proposals. We ponder the sheer size of the deal Juan Soto turned down, and wish Mr. Walk-off well. In our Police Blotter, the testimony of Matt Harvey and other players blows open the story of widespread drug use in major league baseball, while Eric Kay is found guilty of supplying the pills resulting in the death of Tyler Skaggs. We share a fashion moment from the minors and take a stand for televising women’s sports. We say Haitian/Dominican political situation, trans flag, and deep down I'm Ironman.

Get the Puck Outta Here

Voxtopica — Tue, 15 Feb 2022 12:00:00 -0500

Superb Owl Sunday was the greatest cross training day of our lives. We discuss the problematic boys vs men conversation in Olympic hockey and then immediately reference baby goalies, and Patti gets uppity about her alma mater. This week brings the longest police blotter of all time, featuring domestic abuse, assault, a class action suit, and controlled substances. We are very quick to judge, but that’s the beauty of us.

Pottymouth has had her eye on new Red Sox boyfriend Jarren Duran all through winter ball, and possibly since the 80s. Patti dips into Red Sox prospects and finds Hudson Potts who comes with a hitting coach overtly recommending him as boyfriend material. Are we at the World Series Champion Hammers already? ATL catcher William Contreras, Willson’s little brother, catches Pottymouth’s eye, while Patti picks tenacious veteran Adam Duvall. The commissioner assures us the league is doing everything they can to “get a deal done for our fans” except, apparently, make sincere workable proposals that come anywhere near addressing what the players need. We say “Contrerii,” “Austin Adjacent,” and “Hungry Like the Wolf.”

Baseball Boyfriend Trifectas

Voxtopica — Tue, 08 Feb 2022 19:15:12 -0500

CBA negotiations heat up a notch as the League tries to bring in the Feds while the Players instead bring in the fans. Cowboy Joe hangs up his chest protector and yet still no women umpires in sight. Pottymouth adds a prize to her Hernandez collection, naming Teoscar as her Blue Jays boyfriend. Patti puts in a bid for beer with the Biggios with her pick of Cavan. For the Reds, Pottymouth Blind Sides us by selecting Kyle Farmer, and Patti is swayed by qHAR, Mookie, and a wacky career path to pick TJ Friedl. Colombia comes out of nowhere to take the Serie del Caribe and Pottymouth tells us what we missed. Cedric Mullins further cements his boyfriend cred by sharing his Crohn’s Disease story. The Dodgers sign two players from Uganda, so can a Disney movie be far behind? We say CTRL-F is my friend, thrusty swivel, and breakfast hockey.

Drugs are Different Than Rules

Voxtopica — Tue, 01 Feb 2022 12:00:00 -0500

Patti and the Pottymouth make plans to join Big Papi at Cooperstown for the impending zoo and a voting makeover. There is some movement on both sides of the CBA negotiations but the stated willingness on the part of the league to miss games is Very Disappointing. The Minors will start on time and eyes will be on the mandated housing for players and the newly un-mandated vaccine situation. Pottymouth makes a one of these things is not like the other game of her Mariners BF choice Kevin Padlo, while Patti picks Ty France, veteran of our local summer league. Nick “Jonas Brothers Flow” Maton gets the Pottymouth nod for the Phillies, and Patti completes the 2015 international signing BF set with Jhailyn Ortiz. We are in the thick of Serie del Caribe and Pottymouth catches you up on the highlights. The Guardians model drama-free ballpark longevity. We make science happen with a local IPA taste test (We are always Pro-Z but A is pretty darn good), and say “sportsy,’ “rubric,” and “Who Dey.”

21 Pun Salute

Voxtopica — Tue, 25 Jan 2022 12:00:00 -0500

Today’s episode features a surprising number of references to Roberto Clemente, awkward puns, and post-production inserts. Pottymouth goes full Criollos for this week’s boyfriend picks – Vimael Machín for Oakland and no-no catcher Victor Caratini for the Padres. Patti’s A’s guy is Skye Bolt for many reasons that are not his name, and exercises her once a year forever boyfriend option on Padre Jake Cronenworth. Pottymouth and Big Papi both give Boston writer Dan Shaughnessy crap for his HoF snub. The Police Blotter features Angel Hernandez and a Petco Park tragedy. Winter ball championships are winding up in time for the Serie del Caribe, starting January 28th. Tampreal was never going to happen. We say “omicrony,” “did you just squirt the cat?” and “I can’t believe I didn’t say Schwah-bah.”

Glass Ceilings and Outfield Walls

Voxtopica — Tue, 18 Jan 2022 12:00:00 -0500

We celebrate declaring boyfriends for the Guardians instead of “The Cleveland Team.” Pals Pottymouth and Patti choose pals Yu Chang and Bobby Bradley. For the Mets, Pottymouth looks to Yadi fan Tomás Nido, while Patti goes local with Adam Jones fan Khalil Lee. International Signing Day brings a phenomenon to the Nationals and “Little Altuve” to the Blue Jays. The League brought a disappointing economic proposal to the player’s union making it even less likely spring training will start on time. Adding to our list of what cannot happen during a lockout, we learn that if a player is pulled over for a DWI, the team can neither assist or discipline, yet. Players can announce retirements, however, so we wish Jon Lester well, offer thanks for the memories.

This is the week Rachel Balkovec became the first woman manager of a minor league team, Katie Krall’s hiring makes the Red Sox the first team with two women on the coaching staff, and the Blue Jays join the tiny groundswell, adding Jaimie Vieira as a minor league hitting coach. Winter Ball playoffs are winding up, and the independent Atlantic League ends their robo-ump and pitching mound experiments. Orioles Park moves the left field wall in an effort to lose the Coors Field East nickname. We say travesty, Wordle, and flask.

The Donut Hole of Limbo

Voxtopica — Tue, 11 Jan 2022 12:00:00 -0500

That’s where we find ourselves in lockout land. Coaches can get jobs (yay, Joey Cora!), but players can’t get jobs as coaches (Sorry, Adam Eaton!) There are rumors of new economic proposals but no one seems to be in a hurry to get this done. We learn that sleeping in your car at an intersection is not a crime.

Pottymouth selects Captain America-level nice guy David Fletcher as her Angels BF for this season. Patti gets a little weepy over Brandon Marsh’s family and is all-in on this center fielder. For the Rockies, Pottymouth shows up for Connor Kok-Wy Joe’s qHAR and stays for his strength of character. Patti wants to have a beer in the stands with Colton Welker’s mom, no matter which corner he plays. Genevieve Beacom’s scoreless inning for the Melbourne Aces is international news, and this is a pivotal week in winter ball playoffs. Learn the Spanish word for “hit by pitch.”

We say “spreadsheet envy, “the the angels angels,” and “Joey from Friends.”

Not A Drinking Game – But it Could Be

Voxtopica — Tue, 04 Jan 2022 12:00:00 -0500

Anzoátegui is the new “adorable.” Pottymouth’s favorite word to say not only comes up in our international baseball segment, but sneaks its way in to this week’s boyfriend picks for the Tigers and the Cubs! We begin and end with some winter heartwarmers of Minor League owners and hockey fans changing lives for the better, and we break those warm hearts a little in between.

The Iowa Cubs sold to Endeavor and then surprised all of their full-time staff with a share in the profits. Kyle Seager goes out on top, and Eddy Alvarez skates over to the Dodgers. Omar Vizquel misrepresents divorce as justice and his HoF votes continue to plummet. Pottymouth finds another mom to drink (and have a pretzel) with in her Tigers pick of Akil Baddoo. Patti goes ex-Red with Gold Glove good guy and hippo namesake Tucker Barnhart. “La Balita,” Rafael Ortega, takes Pottymouth’s Cubs spot while Patti gets to claim Nick Madrigal, who was almost last year’s White Sox pick.

Genevieve Beacom breaks an Australian baseball barrier as she signs on as a development player with the Melbourne Aces. It’s playoff time all over winter ball so Pottymouth helps you read the Spanish language scorecards. A Kraken fan saves the life of a Canucks coach with one observation, and both teams are now helping her with her med school dream. We say “wire fraud,” “Yabba Dab Baddoo,” and “hippo needed a date.”

Pottymouth: Origin Story

Voxtopica — Fri, 31 Dec 2021 12:00:00 -0500

It wasn’t a spider bite or gamma rays that gave Pottymouth her Red Sox fandom superpowers, it was her Dad. Hear Bob’s stories of Ted Williams, childhood trips to watch the home team from the bleachers, brushes with fame, and the nice Jewish boys playing for the church league. He confirms the till now urban legend of pulling young Pottymouth from the Fenway stands to protect her from the salty language, gives in to our awkward attempts to get him to say “Schwarber,” and becomes the only guest we’ve had to censor (for use of proper names, not outside words.) Happy New Year from NCiB!

Beer with Grammy Pat

Voxtopica — Tue, 28 Dec 2021 12:00:00 -0500

Upon further review, Adalberto Mondesi gets the Royals boyfriend nod from Pottymouth and Patti makes another early, bold choice for ROY with Bobby Witt, Jr. For the Marlins, Pottymouth hopes for A+ with Avisaíl Garcia, and your hosts want to have a beer with the maternal grandmother of Patti’s pick, Jazz Chisolm. As the lockout continues, there’s more time to explore the economics of it all, discuss the effect on injured players, and fill that last remaining manager gig with the A’s promotion of Mark Kotsay.

Who could predict that the Staten Island Yankees would provide the bridge between the welcome news of the Pirates hiring of development coach Caitlyn Callahan, and Police Blotter coverage of the antitrust lawsuit against MLB? International baseball brings us players giving back in LIDOM, LMP showing its range from “Mujeres en el Diamante” down to a wobbly umpire, and LPBRC bringing in some favorites, along with welcoming back fans. We tease our upcoming interview with none other than the NCiB legend that is Pottymouth’s dad. We say “outfit,” “King of Staten Island,” and “naked, horizontal agreement”

Smokey Things and Santa Hats

Voxtopica — Tue, 21 Dec 2021 12:00:00 -0500

NCiB is 100% Boosted! A photo of Pottymouth’s Twins BF pick, Mitch Garver, drinking a beer while wearing his baby in a sling, has us waxing nostalgic and digging for similar photos from our own collections, while Brent Rooker’s Twitter feed is like a visit to the pop culture aisle in Patti’s brain. Showing her excellent judgment, Pottymouth sticks with Juan Soto as her forever BF when we get to the Nationals, while Patti goes hard against type with end of season breakout star Lane Thomas, son of a professional drag racer.

Yasiel Puig and WFT owner Daniel Snyder lead us to cross-train with sexual abuse/harrassment cover-ups. The Mets hope that Buck Showalter, older than dirt in baseball years, will bring some stability. Congrats to some of our favorite women in baseball, Paloma Benach, named a captain of her high school baseball team, and Justine Segal, back to Mexico to coach in the LMP, and to run baseball clinics for girls. Hard to tell if Pottymouth is more excited about women’s baseball returning to Japan, former BF Ildelmaro Vargas breaking the LVBP record for hits in consecutive games by a Venezuelan and signing a minor league contract with the Cubs, or her Leones playoff chances in LIDOM. One final bit of cross training as we look at the impact of COVID on both the NHL and NFL.

We say drag queens, 420, “that hair stays in town,” and use “Max Scherzer” as a verb.

If you are traveling for the holidays, please be smart and safe and careful! Merry Christmas to those who celebrate. Get boosted, fight the man, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Vulgarity, Desperation, and Shots

Voxtopica — Tue, 14 Dec 2021 12:00:00 -0500

Fueled by local distilleries and breweries, Patti and the Pottymouth present their new boyfriend selections from the Rangers and the Pirates, with a bonus of Pottymouth sharing her research strategy tips (hint: it involves googling the word “scandal”). Please welcome Adolis Garcia (made us say “ARod”), Corey Seager (also made us say “ARod”), Ke’Bryan Hayes (we want to have a beer with his dad), and Roberto Pérez (we want to have a beer with his mom). We propose a science project involving the rate at which Clint Frazier’s hair grows. The Hall of Fame makes us happy with their new class from the “Early Baseball” and “Golden Days” Era, especially Minnie Miñoso.

The lockout means the only news is Minor League news - contracts for Dee Gordon-Strange and others, the minor league Rule 5 draft, and Endeavor buying up teams and forcing Patti to say the phrase “holding company” in a baseball podcast. The Fenway Sports Group joins us in crosstraining with hockey by putting in a bid to buy the Pittsburgh Penguins. Yasiel Puig signs to play in the Korean league. The LIDOM regular season winds up this week and gets us the bonus vocabulary phrase “fi fla.” Idelmaro Vargas is tearing it up in LVBP, which goes until 12/16.

We say aguardiente, professional bull riding, and fluffy haired folk.

Our Boyfriends are Back, and Locked Out

Voxtopica — Tue, 07 Dec 2021 12:00:00 -0500

Patti and the Pottymouth kick off a new round of baseball boyfriends with their picks for the Orioles and Diamondbacks. Pottymouth profiles comeback player of the year Trey Mancini, and homegrown utility player Josh Rojas. Patti finally celebrates Adley Rutschman Day and finds a way to tie it to labor negotiations. She also selects almost-Olympian Seth Beer, because we love our Beer here at NCiB.

Advocates for Minor Leaguers announces a steering committee to create a collective voice, and first order of business is support of MLBPA in the lockout. MLB scrubs players’ NIL from their site and does that ever prove a point on the player side. The lockout isn’t even the biggest scandal this week, as everyone’s favorite baseball astrophysicist Meredith Wills’ discovery that MLB secretly used two completely different baseballs this season finally breaks. Pottymouth’s CPBL Lions add insult to injury, Dominican players give back, and Lobas de Areciebo are crowned champs in Liga de Béisbol Femenino de Puerto Rico. We say “rankling”, “Dusty Baker lit it up”, and “I fact-checked my dad.”

No As*h&les at the Bar

Voxtopica — Tue, 30 Nov 2021 12:00:00 -0500

That’s how we define a successful boyfriend season -- some we picked too soon, some didn’t live up to the hype, some left town, many were all we hoped for and more, but nobody broke our hearts. We had a great time saying goodbye to our 2021 crew and making room for the new guys. Wander Franco makes a case for being a 2022 Rays boyfriend with his tremendous deal.

We teach vocabulary words in English and Spanish this week, setting you up for the deadline to tender contracts to players with six or fewer years of playing time (Super Two!), and for understanding the calls if you are watching winter ball instead of negotiations (carrera!). LIDOM provides cover for Yasiel Puig and Marcel Ozuna, and also gives Jose Siri and Mike Brosseau a place to shine. They honor “No Violence Against Women” Day by treating women to a day at the ballpark, and Big Papi will roll out Día de Leyendas to support his children’s fund on December 5. 12/5 is also the next double header in the Puerto Rican Women’s series, currently tied at one each. Pottymouth will need your support this week as her CPBL Lions are making her lose sleep. Lastly, we prepare you for a likely lock-out as the CBA needs to wrap up on December 1st and it is not looking good. We say froo-froo shit, hat trick, and double-fisting hard seltzers.

Get vaxxed, fight the man, and find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Undisclosed Sums of Money

Voxtopica — Tue, 23 Nov 2021 12:00:00 -0500

There are two Guardian teams in town, and no one is saying but one of them may be a fairly wealthy roller derby team. Yasiel Puig settled a civil suit to make sexual assault go away, dropped Rachel Luba, earned Defender of the Year in LMB, and wants back into MLB. We are thrilled that MLB teams will now provide housing for minor league players. Check that box and move on to fair pay. Clint Frazier is DFA’d which allows us to explain making room on the 40 man roster. The Mets gain a GM but lose an ace.

The annual Girls Breakthrough Series featured Bianca Smith, Veronica Alvarez, and maybe a path to college ball. Franmil Reyes won’t be playing with Pujols in LIDOM after all, but there’s still plenty of familiar faces. In the LVBP, recently DFA’d Willians Astudillo sucker-punches a pitcher, the Panda goes back to where it all began, and Ildemaro Vargas’ 4 RBI game lets Pottymouth teach us remolcadas as this week’s vocabulary word. (The other option is a little too racy for prom). The CPBL brings us Lion Elephant Battles. We say Political Opinions Above Replacement, tofurky, and Bob Dole.

Mischief Managed

Voxtopica — Tue, 16 Nov 2021 12:00:00 -0500

Vote on the pants and hair. That’s how Award Season: Boyfriend Edition might play out. Our guys did well across the Silver Sluggers and Gloves both Gold and Platinum (Patti 13, Pottymouth 11, if anyone is keeping score -- we certainly wouldn’t do that), but our pre-season predictions don’t hold up. You can still vote for your baseball bfs for the All-MLB team. It was “Business As Usual” at the annual GM meeting, at least according to every single GM quoted anywhere. We do appreciate a good set of talking points. Scott Boras made a predictable splash by speaking the truth about tanking and the need to incentivize all teams to win. Pottymouth sets up the entertainment to come with Big Papi and ARod facing off on the newly-released Hall of Fame ballot.

It’s Labor Day in November as Patti takes you through the economic issues on both the players’ union and the league sides in collective bargaining. MLB sees a defined pot of money and is just talking about different ways to slice it up, whereas the players don’t put an upper limit on their value -- especially the younger players. We have thoughts about the proposal tying pay to fWAR, getting to arbitration and FA sooner vs eliminating negotiations altogether and keeping players under team control for longer, and changes to the draft to address tanking on purpose. We hypothesize on what it means that a majority of the union’s player subcommittee are pitchers, Boras clients, and Patti’s bfs.

Pottymouth’s favorite CPBL team could pull off a trip to the league championship, and has to spend some time explaining to Patti how the playoff system is real. The Korean Series is underway. We celebrate that LMB loves Fernando Rodney like we do, naming him Reliever of the Year. Former Pottymouth BFs Franmil (en route) and Franchy add to the fun of watching LIDOM. Daddy Yankee, new co-owner of the LBPRC’s Cangrejeros de Santurce, encourages more celebrities to shine a light on the league. The Hammers’ William Contreras heads to Venezuela to join the Cardinales, in a league where managers are setting records for shortest careers. Your vocabulary word of the week is “jonrón.”

We say “shenanigans,” “Mountcastle was robbed,” and “eat the rich.”

We All Need a Buster Hug

Voxtopica — Tue, 09 Nov 2021 12:00:00 -0500

We cry a little into our brunch beer over Buster Posey’s retirement. Our World Series wrap up includes Pottymouth’s dream job, Joc’s Mardis Gras moment, Freddie, Eddie, and Jorge, and a better way to honor 44 than just playing with numbers. Collective bargaining takes center stage so we talk potential lock-out both practically and optically. It’s officially Hot Stove time so we lay out themes to watch this week including qualifying offers, opt ins, and opt outs,

Baseball is not over! Winter ball is in full swing and Pottymouth’s guide is a great place to start. MLB favorites are playing in LIDOM, which you can see on MLBTV, and LBPRC just struck a deal with FOX to make it easier for you to watch Puerto Rican baseball. All this and LVBP and CPBL too! Lastly we do some crosstraining with the NFL to drive home a point that even previously favored QBs can be wingnut anti-vaxxers. We say bobblehead color problem, shiny baseball jacket, and “idioma anglosajón”

Effectively Wild about Dusty

Voxtopica — Tue, 02 Nov 2021 12:00:00 -0400

Our Halloween episode has Patti briefly revisiting 1995, a very scary year, in which she first built her sportsgrudge against the Atlanta Team. But now she loves “those Hammers guys” including effectively wild Ian Anderson, the magical Eddie Rosario, and the only Austin left standing. Pottymouth reminds us of the treasure that is Dusty Baker, the first manager to take five teams to the postseason, and possibly the only to prune his family vineyards *and* live through the Monterey Pop Festival at age 18 (the family station wagon made it too). Altuve makes moves on postseason homerun records, but Manny being Manny seems safe for now. Get your taco on Thursday - Thanks, Ozzie.

Odd for us to give credit to Bob Nightengale but he earns it for not using Atlanta’s team name in his USA Today pieces. The Hammers miss an opportunity to truly honor Henry Aaron by not announcing a team name change during the ceremony. Fox makes no effort to Chop the Chop, featuring it in crowd shots. Smuck and Boltz never mention it, or the war chant, while openly discussing the cheating chants. Rob Manfred defends it based on local markets and perceived support by the *regional* Native American community -- for a National Pastime? There’s now footage of a certain former president joining in on the Chop, albeit badly, so that’s really all you need to know.

Please PETA, use your powers for good instead of distracting us with your push to rename the bullpen the “arm barn.” Although that did give us a gem of a tune from Grant Brisbee. We are looking forward to seeing how much the Cleveland Baseball Team will have to pay the local roller derby team for use of the name “Guardians.” It’s going to be fun to watch Bob Melvin manage the Padres, a team with money, and we’ve got our eye on Raquel Ferreira in the Mets GM conversation. The MLBPA’s Player’s Choice awards feature Ryan Mountcastle among other Patti BFs. The untimely passing of NESN broadcasting great, Jerry “Rem Dawg” Remy brings all the feels for Pottymouth, including some warm and hilarious memories.

Do you have the MLBTV postseason package? You could be watching Dominican winter ball! LIDOM features Tio Albert, Fernando Rodney, and Willi Castro this year -- no excuses. Pottymouth’s Cardenales de Lara are undefeated in the LVBP, and finals have started in the Puerto Rican women’s league. Pottymouth celebrates it all by teaching us baseball vocabulary in Spanish.

We say Halle Berry, Kiss the Sky, and vegan hot dogs.

Seize the Moment to Chop the Chop

Voxtopica — Tue, 26 Oct 2021 12:00:00 -0400

Patti and the Pottymouth break down the evils of the World Series teams and the pros come down to I love Dusty vs. I love those guys. Yup, Pottymouth is in for the Trashtros and Patti throws down for the Hammers. In our efforts to show one team’s terrible is not quite as bad as the other team’s terrible, Pottymouth points out the small number of cheaters still left on the Houston team, and Patti suggests a 437 point plan to eliminate The Chop, including crosstraining with FIFA.

Both LCS MVPs are NCiB boyfriends! Yordan Alvarez, who personally out-hit the entire Red Sox team for a few games, is Patti’s Houston BF this year, and the Hammers’ (and former Guardian) Eddie Rosario, with two 4-4 games, is Pottymouth’s former Twins BF. We have some fun with Kyle from Waltham, Jose Siri’s dance moves, and more details than you knew you needed on Joc’s pearls. We provide a more accurate replacement for the phrase “legal troubles.”

We grade team participation in Spirit Day, to take a stand against bullying of LGBTQ+ youth, on a scale of Rangers to Cardinals. Patti goes Hammers in seven, Pottymouth calls Hammers in six. We say appropriately tipsy, Texas Gay Rodeo Association, and “you’re dead to me.”

Your Cat Fur Won’t Help You Now

Voxtopica — Tue, 19 Oct 2021 12:00:00 -0400

NCiB’s West Coast Correspondent and ace fantasy boyfriend baseball league manager Deborah guest hosts with Pottymouth while Patti hits the beach. She brings the boyfriend cred with a blast from Phillies past with a nod to Mike Schmidt and Greg Luzinski. There’s so much happening in Kiké Korner, from toppling postseason batting records left and right, to a Bold and Beautiful star turn. Current BFs in the postseason feature sexy defense and bats to the rescue from Late Night LaMonte and Chris Taylor, Deborah’s Giants and Dodgers BFs. Bonus vocabulary lesson: splash hit. Pottymouth’s former Angels BF Jose Iglesias now drives the home run laundry cart in the RS dugout and generally brings the joy.

We close the book on the Dodgers/Giants series with a full-season lens, not just that amazing Game 5: The check swing giveth and the check swing taketh away. There’s qHAR love and a bright future for Camilo Doval, Pitching goes all timey-wimey in the Hammers/Dodgers series, and Chris Sale is terrifying in a Strasburg’s evil twin kind of way. Austin Riley is clearly the star of the post-season Austins. We revisit Moral Alignment debates with countering the “no prick” Giants clubhouse with highs and lows in manager Gabe Kapler’s past, and that fuckin’ chop vs the evil empire of the west.

The Police Blotter identifies former Twin’s pitcher Sam Dyson as the latest suspended MLB player to sign with another league -- in this case the LMPRC. Check out Pottymouth’s Winter Baseball picks and Words Above Replacement’s streaming guide for how to watch international ball. We say competitive ping pong, Honkball, cat fur, and United Wiffle Ball National Championship Tournament

Deborah’s shirt was designed for the Oakland A’s by local artist Jesse Hernandez @Urbanaztec. It was a promotion for their Native American Heritage Night in 2018 but you can still buy it here:Oakland Athletics x Native American Heritage night T- Shirt It features the A’s logo built from iconography drawn from tribes all over California.

Pearls are Always Appropriate

Voxtopica — Tue, 12 Oct 2021 12:00:00 -0400

We’ve got Postseason Boyfriends, current and former, and Postseason Grooming featuring Joctober pearls and pitcher qHAR. There’s a conversation about Postseason Moral Alignment -- who do you root for when you know too much? We praise Kiké’s bat and Logan’s arm and a double play for the ages. The Hank Aaron Award finalists are 93% NCiB Boyfriends. The Police Blotter updates the activities of usual suspects.

NCiB is thrilled for the selection of Paloma Benach of DC Girls Baseball to the USWNT Development Program. Learn more about #GirlsCamp21 and listen to this interview with Veronica Alvarez. You haven’t missed the Women’s All-Star game in Puerto Rico because it’s been moved to the October 17th rain date, on Facebook LIve! And we check in on postseason Austins.

Baseball, Blink, and Butterbeans: Riley Adams Talks with NCiB

Voxtopica — Tue, 05 Oct 2021 12:00:00 -0400

We can't think of a better way to transition to the postseason than with a reminder of what we love most about baseball -- the players. Washington Nationals catcher Riley Adams joins us to share his stories from getting his first glove to getting his call up. We talk about what makes a great walk-up song (Riley's use of Blink-182's "All the Small Things" made him an instant favorite with Nats fans). Riley encourages kids to keep sports fun by playing a lot of them, and gets serious about minor league pay. His MLB page still doesn't show his nickname, but we now know what it is.

How 'bout those Mompa Geese?

Voxtopica — Tue, 28 Sep 2021 12:00:00 -0400

Patti and the Pottymouth propose a migratory bird name to replace the “Rays” if they move forward on the sister city plan, splitting time between Tampreal and Mompa. We throw in for Pottymouth’s forever BF Juan Soto’s MVP bid. Her former forever BF Mookie Betts does right by Reds rookie TJ Friedl, a young player with qHAR potential. Meaningful gifts abound, as Patti’s forever BF Christian Yelich presents a pair of custom sneakers to Bob “Air” Uecker to celebrate 50 years announcing the Brewers, and Jon Lester bestows Rolexes on his two former catchers, David Ross and Willson Contreras, on his possibly last visit to Wrigley as a player. How did we miss Jose Siri’s call up after nine years in the minors? Because he’s with the Astros -- but what a debut!

It’s definitely the Police Blotter when a manager and pitcher receive suspensions for throwing at a player, but did the player do wrong? We look at Kevin Kiermaier, a dropped data card, sending a batboy to do a man’s job, and getting beaned in the back by Ryan Borucki. Can’t everyone follow the lead of Jazz Chisolm and Josh Rogers and dance it out?

Veronica Alvarez coaches against Rachel Folden in the “instructs,” the roster for this week’s Congressional Baseball game includes several women, and we can’t wait for the ESPN upgrade of Jess Mendoza and Melanie Newman calling Wednesday’s game. The US Women’s National Team shapes future players at a girls clinic. Plan your January visit to Sarasota for the All American Women’s Baseball Classic. The IWBC is a step closer to building their museum. Six Cubans have defected so far during the WBSC’s 23U tournament in Mexico. The minor league’s crown their champs and the Triple A Final Stretch makes make-up games matter.

We say “zoning board,” “bicep boys,” and Marjorie Taylor Greene.

#Fairball and Boyfriend Cred

Voxtopica — Tue, 21 Sep 2021 12:00:00 -0400

The NCiB Boyfriends are finishing strong in the record books, with Ryan passing Cal, BobbyD passing Ted,, and Salvy passing Johnny. Eric Hosmer is the answer to both of the Max Scherzer trivia questions from this week, Franmil hits #30 by request, and Christian Yelich fills the stands. Our BFs dominate the Roberto Clemente award nominations. Tony LaRussa makes a triumphant return to the police blotter but is quickly overshadowed by KBO pitcher Mike Montgomery’s suspension for throwing a rosin bag at an umpire.

Advocates for Minor Leaguers make their point about poverty wages for players with their excellent #Fairball campaign, with support from High A players from Mets and Phillies, and fan actions around the country. Show your support by wearing a #Fairball wristband, yours for a donation to the organization. Baseball for All is involved in two upcoming regional girls baseball tournaments, the Leighton Accardo Series in Arizona, and our hometown DMV Series. Our COVID report has postseason mandates, legal challenges, and a what the actual hell.

We say kerfuffle, reading glasses, and Guatemala.

Drink Whiskey and Watch Juan Soto

Voxtopica — Tue, 14 Sep 2021 12:00:00 -0400

Continental treasure Joey Votto, Yu Darvish, and Melanie Newman show us how to grow the game by focusing on the kids. It’s good to be a 10 year old baseball fan right now. Patti gifts Pottymouth a link to supercuts of the Soto Shuffle, because it goes well with whiskey and she deserves it. Ryan Mountcastle, Marcus Semien, and Wander Franco chase some history. Hunter Renfroe’s sexy defense gets overshadowed by his assertions that MLB told the Red Sox to stop COVID testing, which the league denies, redundantly, and the team does not, particularly. MLB lags behind other professional sports leagues in vaccination rates, surprising really no one.

Our police blotter has a lot of Ozuna and just a little Bauer. Oracle Park workers are signing up for picket duty in case conditions don’t improve at this Giants home stand. MLB’s Grit program is seeking out the best girl baseball players for participation in elite trainings and tournaments at the same time SABR’s Women in Baseball Conference is awarding the annual “Dorothy” to acclaimed sports journalist Claire Smith, the first woman MLB beat writer. We crosstrain with the sport formerly known as women’s hockey, now the Premier Hockey Federation -- no labels, no limits.

We say “Old and in the gutter,” “maple bar with bacon,” “ratio of happy to shitty,” and “Happy Birthday” to Pottymouth’s dad.

Mullets, Chipotle, Thumbs, and Junk

Voxtopica — Tue, 07 Sep 2021 12:00:00 -0400

We give Javy and Francisco thumbs up for their right to not like being booed, and reiterate our official stance that although fans have the right to boo, it is really bad form and should be avoided except in a few very specific instances. In our boyfriend report, Andrew Stevenson’s mullet gets some press and ups his qHAR, Yoshi Tsutsugo finds comfort in Chipotles, and Iglesias is released to make room for Junk. Four teams and the League itself institute COVID vaccination requirements for non-player employees, and some long term staff would rather leave than get the shot. Recent outbreaks beg the question is a player’s “personal choice” to not be vaccinated harmful to their team’s chance in the playoffs? Oracle Park food concession workers vote to strike over lack of COVID protections, among other issues.

In the Police Blotter, we are angrier and more deeply disappointed all the time at Jonah Keri, who just pled guilty to more than a dozen domestic assault charges. The Nats model good behavior by releasing Starlin Castro at the end of his suspension, and taking responsibility for bringing him on in the first place. The Mets acting GM, who replaced the GM they fired for sending inappropriate communications to female journalists, was just arrested for DUI. Pitcher Josiah Gray gives back by donating autographed cleats for a fundraising auction at Adopt a Minor League Player. That same organization is raising funds for Somerset Patriots players, the Yankees AA affiliate, who lost cars and equipment and other belongings when Ida caused extreme flooding at their ballpark last week. Still waiting for the Yankees to pony up.

This weekend saw Baseball for All’s annual Maria Pepe series, hosted by NY Girls Baseball, and groundbreaker Maria was there, seeing the change she brought to the sport. Bryan Ruby, of the Salem-Keizer Volcanoes, comes out as the one and only openly gay man in professional baseball. It’s 2021, people.

Jose Ramirez’s necklace, though.

Not Afraid To Fail

Voxtopica — Tue, 31 Aug 2021 20:18:50 -0400

In NCiB Boyfriend news, Salvador Perez is having a career year, Franmil Reyes proves his boyfriend cred, and Ian Happ flashes some potential. Veteran Gregory Polanco is released by the Pirates to make room for Pottymouth’s bf Cole Tucker, and Will Smith credits his batting tear on no fear of failing. We take “not afraid to fail” to heart and present an edit-free episode.

The COVID report is back with a vengeance. A positive test for Zach Eflin distracts the Phillies from his knee trouble, and takes out two more vaxxed teammates leading to Bryce Harper offering to serve as emergency back-up catcher. Kiké Hernadez and Christian Arroyo are out for the Red Sox, joined by a flock of Cardinals, and a boatload of Rangers including several starting pitchers. The Nationals and Astros announce vaccine requirements for all non-player staff -- player vaccination requirements are subject to collective bargaining.

The investigation into Angel’s pitcher Tyler Scaggs’ death is alluding to a larger drug ring within the team, including former communications staffer Eric Kay using an app to arrange for delivery of opiates to the ballpark, in return for game tickets and in once case a Mike Trout autographed ball. The Pasadena police have turned over the results of the Trevor Bauer investigation to the Los Angeles District Attorney’s office so that the DA can determine if charges will be filed.

Alcides Escobar builds a boyfriend case by bringing his son’s little league team to a Nats game in Miami. NCiB patron saint Sean Doolittle heads to the wrong Washington. Chris Sale throws an immaculate inning and changes his shirt. The Atlantic League lab rats have some sore lats and not much difference in batting stats three weeks into the experiment of moving the pitching mound back a foot. Congrats to Diamilette Quiles, the first woman in beísbol femenino de PR to reach 100 hits. We say colonies, condom clown, and first day of school.

Hey Miggy!

Voxtopica — Tue, 24 Aug 2021 12:00:00 -0400

Hey Miggy! Miguel Cabrera is the 28th MLB player and first Venezuelan to reach 500 home runs. Patti’s pitcher pick Triston McKenzie is on a tear, plus extra credit for attention to qHar. Boyfriend highlights include Votto’s Abigal Effect, the return of Christian Yelich’s bat, Mountcastle’s streak, Cronenworth’s heroics, and an apology to Jo Adell. It’s Chipotle for everybody thanks to the work of Adopt a Minor Leaguer, the generosity of players Gabe Klobosits and Michael Wacha, and fans everywhere.

In the Police Blotter, we walk you through Sheryl Ring’s excellent explanation of the Trevor Bauer restraining order decision and what it means going forward, and explain The Baseball Rule (remember netting?). The Little League World Series is back with exactly one girl player (Yay, Ella Bruning), and pretty cool unis for the Classic game. Joe Ryan of Olympic qHar fame gets his first AAA start, the KBO’s Choi Jeong sets a dubious world record, and the Brothers win the first half of the CPBL season.

We say boy bands, repechage, and assumption of risk.

¡No Se Llora en el Béisbol! Una Entrevista con Francela Verdura

Voxtopica — Fri, 20 Aug 2021 12:00:00 -0400

(Note to our regular listeners - this special interview with the fabulous 14-year-old Costa Rican baseball / baseball player Francela Verdura is in Spanish. If you understand Spanish - enjoy! If you don't, we recommend giving it a listen to see what you can grasp. Francela came to the US and played in the Baseball for All tournament while developing her English skills, so dear listeners, you now have the opportunity to develop your Spanish skills through listening to a “charla” about baseball.)

¡Bienvenidos a nuestro primer episodio de No Crying in Baseball completamente en español! Pottymouth tuvo la fortuna de entrevistar a Francela Verdura, una pelotera jóven de Costa Rica quien vino recientemente al torneo de Baseball for All (Béisbol para todos) en Maryland. Francela nos cuenta su experiencia con el béisbol en Costa Rica y cómo se involucró en un deporte, que no es tan conocido allá. Ella es una beisbolera con mucho talento y se esfuerza constantemente en cada entrenamiento para mejorar. Nos habla también de la diferencia entre el béisbol y el softball, su experiencia con los dos, y el panorama de las chicas costarricenses que quieren jugar a la pelota. Además, nos explica su rutina, describe los equipos con los que ha jugado y cómo vino a Estados Unidos para jugar en un torneo de mujeres jóvenes. Al fin, hablamos de sus metas y sus planes del futuro, tanto en el béisbol como en la vida.

¡Muchísimas gracias a Francela, a su familia, a la familia Cherry en Washington DC por habernosla presentado, y lo más importante, a Baseball for All por todo lo que hacen para promover el béisbol femenino!

Nos puedes encontrar en Twitter @ncibpodcast,, en Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball y en el internet a nocryinginbball.com. Por favor, déjanos una evaluación en Apple Podcasts o donde quiera que nos escuchas. Se nos puede apoyar en Patreon para ayudarnos a continuar lo que estamos haciendo.

It’s Not Even Kevin Costner’s Best Baseball Movie

Voxtopica — Tue, 17 Aug 2021 12:00:00 -0400

Surprising no one, Patti and the Pottymouth celebrate their 200th episode with a rant. Turns out we have some opinions and suggestions regarding the Field of Dreams game: How to actually include Iowans in baseball, better uses for all that cash, meaningful alternative sites (including supporting the proposed International Women’s Baseball Center Museum and Activity Center at the home of the Rockford Peaches), and a nod to FiveThirtyEights’ take on a modern FoD lineup.

We celebrate Tyler Gilbert’s first-start no-no, the triumphant return of Chris Sale and his weird shirt, and Joey Votto Still Banging. The Police Blotter finds minor leagues playing in air unhealthy to breathe, MLB considering deals with Barstool Sports despite their documented misogyny and racism, and a WashPost report that again begs the question, what did the Dodgers know before signing Trevor Bauer?

Pottymouth introduces you to Francela Verdura, a 14 year old girl from Costa Rica who played in the recent Baseball for All Nationals. Watch for their full interview, in Spanish, later this week. Last weekend’s Women’s College Invitational was a step to developing women’s club baseball on the way to making women’s baseball an NCAA sanctioned sport.

We say Pete Rose (more than once!), climate change, and the Czech Republic.

Got Our Ducks in a Row

Voxtopica — Tue, 10 Aug 2021 12:00:00 -0400

The Heart and Hustle Awards were announced last week and our boyfriends past and present were a lock Our Olympic Baseball rundown covers qHAR, the bullpen cart, the emotional Eddie Alvarez story, and Scott Kazmir and Nick Allen, two guys at opposite ends of their career getting a bump from the spotlight. Hooray for that, plus Brock Holt’s eephus, the Scherzer’s philanthropy, Adley Rutschman in general, the CPBL, and Christian Yelich’s acoustic guitar, because then things go south.

In Police Blotter, Omar Vizquel’s story gets significantly worse, the lead-up to Trevor Bauer’s restraining order hearing continues to spiral, and Ramon Laureano is player #5 to earn a PED suspension this year. MLB has given up on encouraging players to vaccinate and now may have to put back some loosened protocols -- mask mandates already in place in Spring Training facilities used for the minors. None of the remaining seven teams has met the 85% vax threshold since June.

Write your congressperson to support the Minor League Baseball Relief Act to carve out emergency relief for ballpark staff wages and stadium expenses due to no season last year and reduced ticket sales this year. This is similar to other Federal relief earmarked for suffering business, small and large, but focusing on keeping these specific community treasures afloat until they regain their footing. There is no Federal help on the way for the woes suffered by minor league players due to MLB not ponying up housing and food for their staff but instead creating unnecessary financial stress and damaging player health. Thank you Adopt a Minor Leaguer and More Than Baseball for your work here.

We say Wood Ducks, Rubber Ducks, fight club, Hammers, and Guardians.

Let's Go, New Guy!

Voxtopica — Tue, 03 Aug 2021 12:00:00 -0400

The trade deadline gutted the Cubs and Nationals, sent hometown heroes across the country to make immediate impacts, and gave us the “Let’s Go, New Guy!” chant. Not to mention the upheaval in qHAR (quality Hair Above Replacement) with Joey Gallo to the Yankees and Freddy Galvis to the Phillies. Patti and the Pottymouth give you the rundown on the most nerve-wracking and frenetic trade season we can remember. Please keep Daniel Brito, infielder for the Lehigh Valley IronPigs (Phils AAA) in your thoughts after his on-field collapse and subsequent surgeries over the weekend in Rochester. The Health Watch includes Fernando Tatis Jr.’s shoulder, the Disney Prince’s likely Tommy John, and CLE manager Terry Francona out for the season with a long list of maladies.

In dinger land, Joey Votto makes the old guys proud with his seven consecutive games with homers, while new guy Rodolfo Castro makes history notching homers for every one of his first five major league hits and new guy Seby Zavala’s first three hits, all homers, happened in the same game.

Mets owner Stephen Cohen leads off the Police Blotter with his bragging about paying newly-drafted players way below their worth. Will Kumar Rocker get the last laugh under the new NIL rules or is his bright future in jeopardy because the Mets backed away from their first round draft pick? Although Marcel Ozuna’s charges have been reduced from a felony to misdemeanor assault, MLB continues to investigate under the league’s domestic abuse policy. That same policy resulted in a 30 game suspension for Starlin Castro although details have not been made public.

The COVID report brings us the happy story of the Toronto Blue Jays finally returning home to the Rogers Centre, and the crap news of Trea Turner, Christian Yelich, Don Mattingly, and a host of others with positive COVID tests. In Olympic baseball coverage, Pottymouth brings us the vocabulary word “repechage” which has a very flowery and kind definition but Patti just thinks means “loser’s bracket.” We also say the words “hobbit,” “bar mitzvah,” and “bacon.”

Pickled Biscuits, No Rocks

Voxtopica — Tue, 27 Jul 2021 12:00:00 -0400

The Cleveland Baseball Team officially becomes the Guardians, which requires footnotes (but we’ve got’em). It’s always Women in Baseball Week for NCiB, but this week it is official for the rest of the world. We re-cap the wildly successful Baseball for All Nationals and preview some steps to making college baseball more possible for women. We rant a little about the criticisms of the groundbreaking all-woman broadcast team that called an Os/Rays game last week, and give Patti’s former BF Anthony Santander some props for knowing what’s up. Pottymouth presents the obligatory Kiké Hernandez Appreciation Segment, and Jon Lester’s 2 run homer gives us an opportunity to name check Big Sexy.

We give explaining the Oakland A’s current status re the Port and the Strip our best shot. Our proposed scenario is drop an expansion team into Vegas because how cool would that be, and figure out how to keep the A’s where they belong. Montgomery, AL pickles their AA Biscuits to become Montgomery Kimchee for a day, to honor Korean culture. The CPBL is back, but Mitch Lively and the All Star Game are not, so our excitement is tempered. Olympic Baseball is about to start, but the Hobbit House may cramp Pottymouth’s ability to watch. But she’ll be in a frickin’ HOBBIT HOUSE.

In our Police Blotter, CLE reliever Nick Wittgren, his wife, and children are all targets of online death threats because of a “bad day at work” and this needs to stop. Starlin Castro’s administrative leave and domestic abuse investigation continue on, and the hearing over Trevor Bauer’s restraining order gets kicked down the road. Did we need to know the color of his suit or that the Dodgers’ may enjoy some salary relief if he is suspended? Not so much. We do want to know what women were consulted as part of his vetting process. Hey, the NFL is going to fine unvaccinated players almost $15K if they violate COVID protocol. Now we’re talking.

We Are Family

Voxtopica — Tue, 20 Jul 2021 12:00:00 -0400

In this Davey Martinez appreciation episode, Patti and special guest co-host Junior Pottymouth catch you up on the aftermath of the shooting outside Nats Park. Manny Machado, Fernando Tatis, Jr., and other Padres were heroic in their assistance getting fans to safety, while in the home clubhouse Nats manager Martinez assured security guards that the fans taking shelter belonged there because “our fans are our family.” The incident highlighted the glaring gap in ballpark security -- there’s an evacuation plan, but no lockdown/shelter in place plan. Meanwhile, three men were charged with Federal firearms crimes stemming from the discovery by housekeeping staff of a cache of weapons in a hotel close to Coors Field.

Junior Pottymouth took on the role of Youth Correspondent to identify who the heck those kids were in the ASG celebrity softball game (has TikTok ever been brought up on the show before?), not to mention explaining NFTs to Patti who still doesn’t believe they are a real thing even though Trey Mancini used them as a fundraiser for his foundation around his Home Run Derby appearance. Shohei Ohtani is a friend to labor as he donated his Derby winnings to Angels staffers. Matt Olson used Twitter to find the Derby fan who took a tumble trying to catch one of his homers and rewarded his effort with a bat and ball. The big donation announced during All Star Week was MLB pledging up to $150million to the Player’s Alliance over ten years. Immediately post ASG, Patti’s BF Jake Cronenworth hits for the cycle, and former BF Joc Pederson heads to Atlanta.

In other police blotter news, Nats infielder Starlin Castro is put on administrative leave while under investigation for domestic abuse, about which Davey Martinez said, in no uncertain terms, will NOT be tolerated. Contrast this with Dave Roberts’ weak response to the Bauer investigation. In our COVID report, we cross-train with the Olympics, where athletes have tested positive in the Village as well as among the South African soccer contingent. Closer to home, six Yankees, including Aaron Judge who gallantly escorted Billye Aaron to the field during the ceremony honoring her late husband Hank, tested positive for COVID-19. Mrs. Aaron, thankfully, appears COVID-free. Four Rockies also went on the COVID IL post ASG. Good news for the Blue Jays -- Canada welcomes them back to the Rogers Centre at the end of the month, under strict protocols. Good luck to the 500 girls competing this week in the Baseball For All National Tournament, including our friends at DC Girls Baseball, and the 11 year old at the Thunderbolts game.

Wash your hands, wear your masks, watch your distance, get your vaccine as soon as you can, and fight the man. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Junior Pottymouth.

Pitching Problems? Get Naked.

Voxtopica — Tue, 13 Jul 2021 12:00:00 -0400

NCIB officially endorses Sonny Gray’s solution to a rough pitching outing. Take a moment to get naked. If only that worked for all the pitchers from our Padres and Cleveland flocks currently on the IL and messing with our fantasy teams. Actually the solution to everything is ¡Más Kiké! Or vaccines. Getting vaxxed would have solved a lot of issues for the Phillies -- Patti is not happy with current Phils bf Alec Bohm. We make our Home Run Derby picks knowing full well all our listeners already know the outcome, but we had a good time doing it. Our bfs are all over the ASG, on the reserves and sub lists in addition to the starters announced last week, but our hearts go out to Ronald Acuña Jr.

Rachel Balkovec and her shrugging off of the Kelenic foul ball leads our Futures Game takeaways. In our Police Blotter headline, The housekeeper at the Denver hotel who discovered the enormous weapons stash should be throwing out the first pitch for sure. Bauer remains on administrative leave, but the union would have to approve any additional extension. But bobbleheads and merch are OUT.

CPBL is starting back up, the KBO is cancelling games due to COVID, and we may just have declared for Team Mexico in the Olympics. Maybe. Really though we just want to say Es pi NO sa a million times. Willie Ross, the Doctor Dad of Nats pitcher Joe Ross, saves a Giants fan from choking at Oracle Park. (insert Nats choking joke here). When you take away language and nudity from your R Rated night at the Lake Elsinore Storm game, you’re left with only violence. Be careful out there. Hey! Celebrate Women in Baseball Week by submitting a video to the International Women’s Baseball Center. We’ll be watching for it.

All-stars and A**holes with Plake and the Pottymouth

Voxtopica — Tue, 06 Jul 2021 12:00:00 -0400

Patti is off on vacation, so guest host extraordinaire Blake Kraus fills in and takes on the role of the rant for the team. There’s plenty to rant about in the Police Blotter segment with (CW/TW) Trevor Bauer, plus an update on dick-pic sender Jared Porter. On a positive note, Blake gets to humble-brag for Patti as she rakes in the Baseball Boyfriend starting All-Star picks. More fun stuff includes the two Jewish hosts getting the chance to kvel about Jews in baseball with team Israel in the Olympics. The The Angels Angels might not be flying high, but we shout out a big hey-yo to Sho-yay Ohtani and all of his wonder.

A few promised links from the show include Kiké’s fabulous catch, the Athletic article on Trevor Bauer’s sexual assault allegations, information about Bauer’s agent situation, and if you really want to see them, the graphic texts that Rachel Luba retweeted. Major content/trigger warning for any links associated with Bauer.

In the Name of Civil Disobedience, Drop Your Pants

Voxtopica — Tue, 29 Jun 2021 12:00:00 -0400

The first week of enforcement of the sticky stuff rule resulted in dropping of pants and threats to do so, the ejection of Joe Girardi for calling out Max Scherzer after demanding a substance check mid-inning, and Hector Santiago winning the dubious honor of first pitcher suspended under the new world order. Pottymouth is still grooving on her visit to Fenway. It’s a toss-up if the best part was the salute to Dustin Pedroia or the Red Sox sweeping the Yankees (again). Patti notes that qHAR (quality Hair Above Replacement) directly factors into how excited we are about multi home run games. Witness the well-deserved media-frenzy regarding Fernando Tatis, Jr., and the barely a peep about Schwarber, Winker, and Mountcastle doing the exact same thing. Gotta be the hair. In other qHAR notes, we approve of Jazz Chisolm going purple, and wonder who will move into the rankings now that Freddy Galvis is regrettably out for a month or more.

Although the All Star caps meet with NCiB approval, we join the almost unanimous panning of Nike’s in-game jersey design. Yogi Berra gets a Forever stamp, the DR qualifies for the Olympics, and NC State loses their shot at the College World Series because of COVID.

Sticky Business

Voxtopica — Tue, 22 Jun 2021 12:00:00 -0400

Patti and Pottymouth poke holes in the sticky substance mid-season zero tolerance enforcement plan, Seriously, we have a million better approaches to solving this problem. The Disney Prince is already hurt, umpires are in a stop and frisk situation, and the Astros have still never been punished for actual cheating. Joey Votto is Abigail’s hero, and ours too. The Os vs Blue Jays series gives us hot boyfriends hitting bombs and a bench-clearing brawl with exceedingly high qHAR (quality hair above replacement) thanks to Vladdy and Freddy Galvis. Their Saturday game was a derby itself, with Patti’s Os bf and pick for ROY Ryan Mountcastle making a bid with a 3 homer performance, previous bf Cedric Mullins with two, and current TOR bf Marcus Semien with two. Did we mention Baby Shark is back?

AA Bowie BaySox players come close to sleeping in their cars because of unnecessarily excessive housing costs vs tiny, tiny paychecks. Thank you More than Baseball for providing housing grants to minor league players and generous fans offering to host players or raise money to pay their housing costs, but maybe, just maybe, billionaire owners should do the right thing. Pains us to say this but the Astros are a good model here housing players in team-owned apartment houses near all their affiliate parks. MLB eliminates a whole slew of COVID protocols for fully-vaxxed players and staff, and just about all ballparks go to 100% capacity. What could possibly go wrong? Pottymouth laments the Dbacks’ losing streak and the subsequent lack of dancing.

Pride Month: Because of Being Kissing

Voxtopica — Tue, 15 Jun 2021 12:00:00 -0400

It’s Pride month so we give you the rundown on MLB events including a first on the field, swag (rainbow jerseys with your pick of pronouns), atonement, and atonement still due. Anyone know if the Padres “spinny thing” has a name? It stars in our fashion segment about team-specific MVP accessories, which could be improved by adding dancing. Our police blotter update on the dismissal of the demand to move the All Star Game back to Atlanta gives us our new favorite judge. Sorry, Aaron, but she rocks. Liam Hendriks and Davey Martinez weigh in on the need for an MLB-approved “universal substance” that pitchers can use to maintain grip on the baseball, for the safety of the batters. In our COVID update, non-vaxxer Anthony Rizzo gives us a WTF moment and Carson Kelly brings us back to the before times.

Pottymouth checks in on the old guys, and Isiah Kiner-Falefa earns some love. Patti reviews the young guys as Daz Cameron hits his first major league homer, Jo Adell knocks on the door, and Jarred gets a time-out. Quarantine rules wreck some Olympic dreams. Get your proposals in for the 3rd Annual Women in Baseball Conference, sponsored by IWBC and SABR. This year’s theme is “Breaking Barriers: Women in Baseball Around the World”

See us work “air fried kale” and “being kissing” into a conversation about baseball.

A House Divided

Voxtopica — Tue, 08 Jun 2021 12:00:00 -0400

Pottymouth’s Red Sox household welcomes a Yankees fan interloper, and Patti faces the I’m from Cleveland but named the kid for Camden Yards dilemma for the weekend series. Classic boyfriends do us proud, with Kiké’s bat coming alive, Albert Pujols climbing up the all time lists, Christian Yelich proving blonde bats have more fun, and Cedric Mullins going 5-5. Patti’s current Os BF, Ryan Mountcastle, earns AL player of the week, and she serves as back-up mom at Bobby “The Assassin” Bradley’s second “debut.” Pottymouth’s outfield takes a hit with both Trent Grisham and Kyle Lewis on the IL. Way too many players are getting hit in the face by baseballs -- this time two pitchers, Tyler Zombro and Ryan Braiser -- end up in the hospital.

Don’t worry, the Cleveland team has narrowed down its options for new names to 1200. We’re getting there! MLB will likely release their plan for enforcement of the “no foreign substances” rule shortly, which may include multiple checks on pitchers in a single start, and suspensions for those caught in the act. Also in the Police Blotter, Bob Brenly says the right things in his apology for his durag remark about Marcus Stroman, but his track record of blowing dog whistles undermines our confidence. Marcelle Ozuna is out on bail and the Atlanta team may be stuck paying his contract no matter what the domestic abuse investigations show.

Team USA qualifies for the Olympics with a stellar performance by Todd Frazier and players drawn from MLB prospects and old-timers. Cuba fails to qualify for the first time ever. Taiwan withdraws from contention. The remaining spots go to Israel, South Korea, Mexico, host country Japan, and the winner of the final qualifier later this month in Mexico. Vote your All-Star ballot, give all your money to DC Girls Baseball, and send hopes and prayers for Patti’s failing fantasy team.

Naked Guy Appreciation

Voxtopica — Tue, 01 Jun 2021 12:00:00 -0400

The Nats Park streaker, bringing joy to millions, deserves a Skittles endorsement, but is banned from ballparks for life, while Mickey Calloway is out a year and a half for sexually harassing at least five women. Guess where we come down on this? Marcell Ozuna goes from former NCiB boyfriend to the “Never gonna be a boyfriend” list quickly and definitively. We’d like Loretta’s Lounge back, please (you can help!), but we’re happy to see the New Era local clip-art caps go. That’s not what food looks like.

Pottymouth is in a boyfriend bind (Oh, Franchy) and proposes an interesting rule bend to get out of it. Patti shares a Tommy Edman appreciation moment. In classic boyfriend news, Kiké likes to bang, Votto gets in the booth, Pujols ties the Babe, and Patti wants Josh Bell back, bad. And really, Zack Plesac breaks a thumb “aggressively ripping off a shirt” ?

COVID forces Taiwan to forfeit their Olympic dreams. The eleven team women’s league starts in Puerto Rico on August 9. And we slip in one more go, Bobcats!

We Want to Retire Like CC Sabathia

Voxtopica — Tue, 25 May 2021 12:00:00 -0400

You know it’s serious when Tony La Russa and his unwritten rules aren’t the worst thing in our Police Blotter. Hello, Felipe Vazquez. The Willy Adames trade sends Pottymouth’s boyfriend roster into disarray. Jesse “Da Wink” Winker hears MVP chants. Chad Pinder and Ian Happ are new men after their IL stints. Jake Cronenworth hits an inside-the-park home run for Patti’s birthday, and Mountcastle slams from her bench. A go-ahead slam for Miggy gets him closer to the 500 mark, and Nando gets to 50 homers. The COVID IL for the Mariners is an object lesson in how a personal choice not to vaccinate affects the entire team.

Can we retire like CC Sabathia? A podcast where he can go off full Pottymouth about unwritten rules, a Negro Leagues clothing line, and a rec softball team where he gets to hit. Our grooming segment features umpire footwear (It’s good!), and the Marlins’ Sugar Kings unis. Women’s baseball in the UK has begun and the Bristol Bobcats have our full support. The old guys are shining in the LMB (Big Sexy for the opening night win! Adrian Gonzalez with the first run for the Mariachis de Guadalajara!). So many Andersons.

"You meet a girl who plays baseball, and you're meeting a bada*s"

Voxtopica — Fri, 21 May 2021 12:00:00 -0400

Ava Benach, through DC Girls Baseball, is building a community of leaders and teaching life skills while giving girls who want to play baseball every opportunity to do so. Through Ava, we meet four tenacious, focused, fearless young ballplayers who change the world every day by playing on their high school teams despite being told they should be playing softball instead, working twice as hard to play a game they love, and traveling hundreds of miles if that’s what it takes to find their team. Hear from Piper "Life is way too short to not play baseball when you want to" Cherry, Maggie “Baseball is what I do” Heaphy, Tess “Don't listen to other people saying not to” Usher, and Rebekah "I saved up all my rebellion and used it to play baseball" Camp. They will inspire you to donate to DCGB to help remove financial barriers for girls who want to play baseball, or find a girls’ team near you and show them your support. Then put on your DCGB gear and come on out to Baseball for All Nationals in Aberdeen, MD July 18-22 to watch history happen.

Feudalism and Bad Faith

Voxtopica — Tue, 18 May 2021 12:00:00 -0400

The Astros bring us “feudalism” as our vocabulary lesson, the LPBRC looks the other way with Roberto Alomar, and both the player’s union and officials from the City of Oakland call the commissioner’s office on operating in bad faith. And still our biggest rant involves cross-training with high school softball in North Carolina and, yes, questionable rules about hair. Albert Pujols finds a home with the Dodgers, Jarred Kelenic gets a curtain call, and Jose Abreu and Hunter Dozier collide.

Our COVID report tries to explain the breakthrough cases among vaccinated Yankees, and what’s up with the Padres. In Taiwan, a disturbing upswing in infections cause the league to suspend CPBL games, at least temporarily. Women’s baseball kicks off this week in the UK. All this and Diamondback dances, Duck Dynasty, and liberal use of words like “honkin’” and “frickin.” Watch for our special episode with DC Girls Baseball to drop later this week.

Baseball Moms, Albert Pujols, and a Ratcoon

Voxtopica — Tue, 11 May 2021 12:00:00 -0400

We moms who love baseball celebrate Mothers’ Day with actual Baseball Moms, Stephanie and Diana, of the Moms and Baseball podcast. We bond over words to live by, good snacks, the Akron Rubber Ducks, and Tim’s mom. Separately, we give the mom seal of approval to Erica Scherzer for remarkable planning, Dusty’s mom for Spanish language and cooking lessons, Beth Mowins’ mom for telling her of COURSE she can grow up to do play by play for the Cubs, and Josh Bell’s mom for instilling in him a deep sense of social justice.

We are not alone in thinking Albert Pujols and his arms deserve better. Congrats to Miggy for passing Babe Ruth on the hit list. Our former boyfriends Francisco Lindor and Jeff McNeil circle the clubhouse wagons with the Ratcoon story. Our police blotter features the mysterious case of the disappearing broadcaster. The follow up on last week’s British Baseball Federation debacle is swift and strong. Apologies for misnaming the Birds with Balls podcast, wish we could blame it on translation. Some baseball teams will reward you with tickets to games if you get vaccinated at the ballpark. And vaccine-only sections are a thing now.

It's Sports Bras or Nothing

Voxtopica — Tue, 04 May 2021 12:00:00 -0400

The British Baseball Federation demonstrates exactly why women should be involved in every level of the development of a women’s baseball league. And causes us to state for the record that we will not work topless. We celebrate David Peralta, Eduardo Escobar, Anthony Rizzo and Freddie Freeman for bringing the fun. Joey Votto, Shane Bieber, and Vladdy (and his Daddy) reach some “Bench”marks. Roberto Alomar is banned from baseball and Patti’s heart just can’t take any more. Pottymouth wants the Twitter trolls to back off from Jess McCann. Pitchers getting personal with their K celebrations cause benches to clear in the Reds/Cubs series as well as the Mets/Phillies where Dominic Smith calls out Jose Alvarado and we agree with Joe Girardi more than once, stunning us both. The Disney Prince is a pottymouth and his mom does NOT approve.

On one hand, Atlanta’s Truist Park is going to 100% capacity, on the other, Fenway is hosting high school graduations, many parks are hosting university commencements, and Progressive Field has a prom. Get your #HoltOffCancer shirt, if you can get past the cowboy hat. The independent Pioneer League eliminates extra innings with hockey-style shoot-outs. We want Australia to get it together with women’s baseball, but acknowledge that at least they are trying. Honkbal. And Patti says Glen when she means Bryan.

Arugula, Coffee, and Righteous Indignation

Voxtopica — Tue, 27 Apr 2021 12:00:00 -0400

Join us as we celebrate AS*HAT Day, discuss the food choices of ballplayers, and try to make “crepuscular” a baseball word. The Baltimore Orioles are an impressive public health model as they strive for 100% vaccination organization-wide, offer free COVID-19 testing at home games, and put their “take one for the team” vaccination PSA program into heavy rotation. Not to mention stopping the red-hot As winning streak at 13.

Our boyfriend highlights are super-Padres heavy with Fernando Tatis Jr.’s bat against Cy Young winners, Jake Cronenworth’s sexy defense, and the pitching, um, “flock.” Mookie Betts goes vegan and Jesus Aguilar dumps arugula for arepas. We revisit Nick “It sucks” Castellanos, and offer the possibility of chest hair above replacement. Patti’s despair over Ian Happ’s slump leads to Pottymouth’s story of her car being hit by a deer. Yes.

The CPBL brings back Megabee, and as predicted, Yasiel Puig ends up in Mexico with Patti’s first car. Josh Bell starts a book club and ups the boyfriend cred even more.

Hair Above Replacement

Voxtopica — Tue, 20 Apr 2021 12:00:00 -0400

Your vaccinated co-hosts record in the same room for the first time in over a year! Thank you, science. COVID outbreaks hit the Twins and maybe the Astros, and we can’t help but feel a little told-you-so about Andrelton Simmons. Jake Cronenworth, David Price, and Joe Musgrove are all in the same sentence but not how you’d expect. Joey Votto executes a triple play but we think he could have done better. Andrés Giménez scores 4 runs, 5 hits, and one fight with Adam Eaton who is no longer on Patti’s list of favorite Adams. Willians Astudillo and Shane Bieber get equal time for pitching achievement. Jay Bruce retires after 14 years and deserves a better end.

Will Yasiel Puig end up in Mexico like Patti’s first car? Pottymouth lays out the case for trusting women in this instance of he said/she said. Yankees fans make the police blotter, as does Joe West -- but he’s the winner in this story. Tim Locastro is caught stealing for the first time in his career. We have tales of babies named for superstars (instead of equipment companies), and daddy’s best pitch.

Our grooming segment reviews the Boston Strong Red Sox uniforms, and suggests that Carlos Rodon’s unbuttoned jersey may have contributed to his no-no. Pottymouth proposes “Hair Above Replacement” as a new NCiB stat that needs to be quantified. Extra points for Jazz Chisolm color? Jonathan India’s flow? Great hair in combination with going 4-4 in a game, ala Freddy Galvis? Does philanthropy give the Disney Prince an edge? Pottymouth glows over her CPBL faves, Teddy, Tim, and Brock. Eric Thames explains NPB in a way that makes perfect sense, yet no sense at all.

Please read Britni de la Cretaz’s SI article on non-binary athletes.

Shake it, Kiké

Voxtopica — Tue, 13 Apr 2021 12:00:00 -0400

Your over-stimmed hosts have been to a ballpark and you can hear it in our scratchy voices. Charlie Blackmon helps us explain why Coors Field is a pretty good choice for the All Star Game. Joe Musgrove finally earns the Padres their first no-hitter, and we learn he, like us, enjoys a nice IPA but also a disturbing amount of chewing gum. Victor Caratini gets some well-deserved love too. The Cleveland pitchers are hot right now too, and Patti gives little brother Logan Allen a promotion to top bf on the squad. Pottymouth appreciates Kiké’s hip swivel, or is it a wiggle? Patti cheers Ian Happ’s blackout rant. It turns out some of our boyfriends are criminals, but not in a bad way. In Dodger news, Will Smith is no longer the Fresh Prince, the World Series rings came with tiny movies, and David Price donates his ring to the Player’s Alliance. Conversations around COVID vaccines expose a whole new group of wingnuts in the baseball community, and we learn fun facts about the COVID IL.

Our Police Blotter features the Mets walk-off that shouldn’t have been, Grizzly taco tragedy, Bauer’s balls, and Domingo Germán. Justine Siegal gets colleges to commit to women playing baseball, the UniLions bring up a hot prospect, and baseball starts soon in Spain. Hotmess Baseball Mom leads the Fantasy Boyfriend Baseball League this week. We try to rationalize Denizen’s Georgia Avenue Sour and margaritas counting as fruits, and say neener-neener a surprising amount.

That All Star Game Thing was Us, Right?

Voxtopica — Tue, 06 Apr 2021 12:00:00 -0400

Opening weekend was full of heartbreak and highlights we didn’t see coming. Approving of a decision by Rob Manfred has us reeling, so we take you through the decision-making, and the aftermath, of yanking the All Star Game from Atlanta. Turns out it wasn’t just our rant, and there are also grammatical issues. Miggy’s homer in the snow, and outstanding pitching brought the fun, as did stellar boyfriend performances by Jose Abreu and Michael A. Taylor. BTW, Eloy Jimenez is NOT dead, please stop scaring us. The COVID outbreak in the Nationals organization was a gut punch. It’s still 2020, people.

Pottymouth’s discussion of the dropping of “felony marijuana charges” against Luis Campusano leads to a PSA about probable cause (we aren’t lawyers but one of us may or may not teach HS government), complicated math about what quantity of drugs equals 79 “games”, and a general afterschool special about pot. Also in the police blotter, we continue to dislike Carlos Correa (don’t mess with Chappy), and express general approval of all things Nick Castellanos, including baring his neck to Yadi the Alpha Wolf.

Our grooming segment awards best opening day hair kudos, and some general appreciation of “fit” pitchers. My. Cleveland babysteps to a less racist place, and features a pinch-drummer for Opening Day. We celebrate Tim Melville (and his mom) and his CPBL no-hitter! We welcome new teams to the Fantasy Boyfriend Baseball League (Glen, Bryan, Diane, Karen, and Marla) and promptly lose to them.

HOPEning Day!

Voxtopica — Tue, 30 Mar 2021 12:00:00 -0400

We always look forward to Opening Day, but it just feels different this time. We are moving in the right direction -- it’s HOPEning Day. But don’t worry, we also have rants. And mezcal.

Patti and the Pottymouth channel patron saint Sean Doolittle -- sports are the reward for a functioning society. If a couple of old white guys in Georgia can take voter suppression to new heights, MLB can damn well yank this July’s All Star Game out of Atlanta, FIFA can pull them from World Cup host contention, and the NCAA can kick upcoming Final Fours way the hell down the road. No thank you, Georgia. You don’t deserve sports. There’s precedent for this, ask your North Carolina and Arizona friends.

We poke some fun at, and holes in, the League’s new Hall Monitor system for cracking down on pitchers’ use of foreign substances to increase control and spin rate. And we do love to say “tainted balls.” Pottymouth worries about Eduardo Rodriguez’s “dead arm” which pulled him back off the Red Sox opening day start. Eloy Jimenez’ awful ruptured pectoral tendon may be an opportunity for Andrew Vaugh. Likewise Luke Voit’s surgery gives Jay Bruce a roster spot.

Patti and the Pottymouth introduce their Fantasy Boyfriend Baseball League starting lineups, and make bold predictions about awards, pennants, and the World Series that you are welcome to throw back in their faces in October. We cross-train with the NWHL -- congrats Boston Pride! And there’s a new Monkey in town, so international ball is not only about hot rookies this week.

Don’t Hit Your Brother: It’s Pitcher Day

Voxtopica — Tue, 23 Mar 2021 12:00:00 -0400

We are those people that believe that Jesus Camargo-Corrales wouldn’t have more than 21 pounds methamphetamine and 1.2 pounds of oxycodone in his Cubs duffel bag if minor league players a living wage. Also helpful hints from Pottymouth about consent to search. An appellate court rules the MLB’s small print is way too small to matter.

Patti clearly cannot pronounce Red Sox Cornah, but Pottymouth sure can so we have a Franchy Cordero boyfriend ruling from the Commish, root for opening day pitcher E-Rod, and get to talk about LeBron James (new part owner!). We stress the Madness in March Madness as we cross-train over the disparities in facilities, meals, swag, even COVID testing, between men’s and women’s tourneys.

It’s pitcher week at NCiB, when we select our squads from which our fantasy team pitchers will be drawn. Pottymouth embraces the newly pumped-up Padres. Welcome Yu Darvish, Blake Snell, and Joe Musgrove, joining Dinelson Lamet and Chris Paddack. Patti mashes up pitchers with the grooming segment by focusing on the ridiculously good looking (oh yeah, and talented) young Cleveland squad including Cal Quantrill, Aaron Civale, and Triston MacKenzie, plus that Cy Young guy Bieber.

Alexia Jorge, the youngest player on ‘19 US WNT, commits to play baseball for Saint Elizabeth University. Veteran broadcaster Beth Mowins is the first woman to call play-by-play for the Cubs. Justine Siegal helps the British Baseball Federation kick off a women’s league. In this week’s plug to get you to watch breakfast baseball, Pottymouth highlights @olisamir ‘s game alerts, a hot rookie, and an electric bike. No excuses for missing CPBL. The KBO institutes pace of play rules with financial consequences. Also, we say scrunchie way too much, Pottymouth gets a tiny bit vulgar, and Patti sings Soft Cell.

At Least There’s No Tailgating

Voxtopica — Tue, 16 Mar 2021 12:00:00 -0400

The Rangers think a superspreader event is a great way to welcome Opening Day, while the rest of the ballparks plan to welcome a small number of fans back to the stands. The Commissioner uses the minors as his own private laboratory to try out a huge number of new rules in advance of CBA negotiations.

Shortstop, conqueror of the Durham Bull, and Pookie’s pal Willy Adames is Pottymouth’s Rays boyfriend for this season. Gavin Lux, the Dodger’s 2B with the heart in the shape of a baseball fills out her middle infield. Third baseman, conqueror of Aroldis Frickin’ Chapman, and non-draftee Mike Brosseau is Patti’s guy on the Rays. Catcher Will Smith, the Fresh Prince of LAD, caps off her boyfriend picks for the season.

Opening Day festivities in the CPBL included six mascots, from rainbows to the scales of justice to one who is just, um, pink. Here’s how to watch the games. Please take a spin through the best of MLB’s school picture day. Steak comes up more than you’d think.

Bat Flips, Puns, and Gerrymandering

Voxtopica — Tue, 09 Mar 2021 12:00:00 -0500

Pottymouth narrows the field to white guy bat flippers for her boyfriends this week. For the As, she picks big league foodie Mark Cahna, and for the Padres, the man on the wrong end of our favorite play ever witnessed in person, Trent Grisham. Patti goes for utility and puns with her picks. Chad Pinder wins her over for the As with his work with special needs kids, and “that Cronenworth guy”, Jake Cronenworth for the Padres.

COVID numbers look good around the league, some ballparks are planning on fans in the stands, and some former boyfriends make bad decisions. Eduardo Rodriguez, and his recovering heart, makes his first post-COVID start. MLB designates June 2 as Lou Gehrig Day. Sam Dyson’s season-long suspension headlines our police blotter this week, but Mickey Calloway is now a regular there.

The University of Rochester welcomes catcher Beth Greenwood as the second woman to play NCAA Division 3 baseball. Puerto Rico’s womens baseball league doubles in size -- follow Edwin Hernández to keep tabs on that. Opening Day approaches for our favorite breakfast baseball, the CPBL. Maybe Daniel Kim can help us watch KBO games this year. Patti works “gerrymandering” into the conversation.

Like Chess, but for Sports

Voxtopica — Tue, 02 Mar 2021 12:00:00 -0500

The return of spring training means the return of our grooming segment, featuring Francisco Lindor, as well as all the feels, thanks to Trey Mancini. And great confusion as to the rules. Jose Abreu provides a handy bridge between the COVID update and the Police Blotter, via Albert Pujols and Tony LaRussa. Kevin Mather says some things out loud that he probably shouldn’t have, regarding manipulating Jarred Kelenic’s service time, “overpaid” players, and impatience with English as a second language. He is no longer with the Mariners but the words are out there now.

Pottymouth salutes our German listeners with her pick of Max Kepler as her Twins boyfriend, allowing Patti to lie with exact figures about pronouncing Polish last names. Patti goes with underdog Ryan Jeffers, and not just because of the labradoodle named for Yogi Berra. For the Atlanta Baseball Team, Pottymouth selects Serie del Caribe hero from the Aguilas Cibaeñas, Johan Comargo. Patti takes tattoo-laden Cristian Pache, maybe a year too early.

We salute Alli Schroder, the first woman to play baseball for the Canadian College Baseball Conference. We institute the international version of the Police Blotter (thanks, LMB), and start paying attention to Czechoslovakian baseball.

Patti Gets an Omar Vizquel Do-Over

Voxtopica — Tue, 23 Feb 2021 12:00:00 -0500

Pitchers and catchers reported last week so that means we’re back with the COVID numbers, the Blue Jays staying south of their border, and baby steps to fans in the stands. NCiB poster boy Fernando Tatis, Jr. is a Padre for life, and forces us to do complicated math. Pottymouth generously tries to cut Brett Gardner some slack, but Patti will have none of it. Thanks to Johnny Damon and Ryan Ellis, we’ve instituted a Police Blotter segment. Zach Britton stands up for women, and sees no reason to cut domestic abuser Domingo German any slack.

Venezuela provides our Cleveland boyfriend picks, with Pottymouth claiming veteran Cesar Hernandez and Patti hoping for an Omar Vizquel do-over with Andres Gimenez. Infield Fly Girl coaches us into our Cubs picks. Pottymouth selects back-up catcher Miguel Amaya, leading us to muse that we, like Amaya, would totally follow Willson Contreras around. Patti cries into her coffee over Ian Happ and a kind gesture by the Cubs.

Goofy But Never Abrasive

Voxtopica — Tue, 16 Feb 2021 12:00:00 -0500

The League updates harassment and discrimination policies, expanding mandatory training beyond players to include staff and front office executives. A new anonymous hotline for reporting violations has been established, and although we are in favor of these baby steps, Pottymouth proposes going full public school and mandating reporting for anyone who hears of violations. Giant steps backwards in fan engagement, however, as MLB cleans house of social media coordinators. The League and the Player’s Association agreed on health and safety protocols for the coming season, learning from last year. Expected behavior is spelled out very clearly, as are consequences, and the wearing of not-quite-ankle bracelets.

Pottymouth introduces you to some relative unknowns in our boyfriend segment, Jose Abreu for the White Sox and Nolan Arenado for the Cardinals. Keep an eye out for these players with Cuban connections, they may make names for themselves one day. Patti’s CWS pick of prospect Andrew “Please give me Ricky Wild Thing Vaughn’s number” Vaughn offers a chance for a romantic Valentine’s Day serenade from your hosts. For the Cardinals, Patti swaps in “family dinner” for the “have a beer” requirement and chooses brainy infielder Tommy Edman.

It’s always a good day when we can talk about Big Sexy. All this plus helpful vaccine hints, animal documentaries, and international baseball.

Finding Jesus in Miami

Voxtopica — Tue, 09 Feb 2021 12:00:00 -0500

We talk way more Jesus than usual, as we select both veteran (“We Believe in Jesus”) Jesús Aguilar and batting left because of David Ortiz prospect Jesús Sánchez as our Marlin’s boyfriends. Kim Ng was a contender for Marlins boyfriend but we have stupid rules. Over at the Yankees, both Pottymouth and Patti go for guys that are quietly generous in their birthplaces and save the noise for the field. Pottymouth profiles Colombian Gio Urshela, and Patti tells you of mask-wearing redhead Clint Frazier.

Women sports journalists speak out about abusive treatment by Mickey Calloway, spanning three teams and at least five years. The Angels fired him and investigations are underway. Did the Jared Porter issue open the floodgates? Are women feeling safer about going public? Stay tuned. Trevor Bauer gets the record-setting deal of his dreams, and we consider the possibility of paintball to the nuts. We wish our patron saint, Sean Doolittle, well as he is off to work his magic in Cincinnati. The Dominican Republic’s Águilas Cibaeñas win the Serie del Caribe, and the NWHL folds its season due to COVID, ripping away our chance to see women’s hockey on national TV, and allowing us to talk shady science because we’ve been drinking.

We Need a Snow Day

Voxtopica — Tue, 02 Feb 2021 12:00:00 -0500

Remember in the before times when we had the joy of snow days? Anti-vaxxers delay vaccinations at Dodger Stadium, which we firmly believe disrupts both the possibility of fans in stands and the opportunity for snow days. Women continue to rock baseball, as Sarah Goodrum becomes the first woman to serve as a minor league hitting coordinator. For the fourth time in 50 years, the Hall of Fame voters elected 0 new members -- this time it seems character counts. We ponder inconsistency over time, possible changes moving forward, and compare ARod to cilantro.

Our Blue Jays boyfriends may be duking it out at 2B, with Pottymouth picking Santiago Espinal, and Patti claiming Marcus Semien, who she had planned on choosing later as an A. It’s Sho time in the Cincinnati Reds outfield where Pottymouth takes veteran Shogo Akyama and Patti really, really wants to have a beer with Jesse Winker. Fire up ESPN Deportes and watch the Caribbean Series -- Pottymouth profiles the teams so you can pick your favorite. We don’t bother with a spring training countdown because we still don’t believe it is happening on time.

Make Atlanta Hammers Happen

Voxtopica — Tue, 26 Jan 2021 12:00:00 -0500

Now is the time, Atlanta. Honor Hank Aaron and eliminate your problematic baseball team name in one fell swoop. Hammerin’ Hank deserves it. Kiké Hernandez and George Springer highlight the hot stove this week. The Mets fire Jared Porter for his abusive treatment of a female sports journalist (dick pics and out of control unsolicited texting). Good on ya, Steve Cohen, but next time include some women in your vetting and you can avoid the bad hire to begin with. Jessica Mendoza gives excellent context. We crosstrain with professional hockey in which the women act to end racism and the men just can’t follow health protocols.

We tiptoe back to the Astros in our boyfriend segment where Pottymouth selects Winter Ball favorite Jose Siri and Patti hopes for a comeback for 2019 Rookie of the Year Yordan Alvarez. Over in Milwaukee (dammit, Packers) Pottymouth chooses Luis Urías as her Brewers boyfriend, watching for the moment when his hamate-surgery induced superpowers kick in. Patti hopes for a comeback for 2018 MVP and her current once and forever boyfriend, Christian Yelich. There’s a boyfriend-laden Venezuelan home run derby and so much more in Winter Baseball. Also, there is delicious Silver Branch beer in a variety of Wicked Weed barware.

Never Fear, the Bunker has Sports

Voxtopica — Tue, 19 Jan 2021 12:00:00 -0500

Never fear, dear listeners, our bunker is six miles from the military lockdown in place to protect a peaceful transfer of power, and we have sports. And beer. MLB’s PAC is suspending and reviewing its political contribution policy in light of the insurrection. Owners and players remain free to donate money wherever they like, but you don’t have to condone it. Citifield joins Petco Park, Dodger Stadium, and Minute Maid Park as a vaccine distribution location, with more ballparks likely to come.The Tri-City ValleyCats sue MLB and the Astros for $15million for being tossed out of the minors after 18 years as a short-season affiliate.

Pottymouth goes straight to the top for her Mariners boyfriend pick of #1 Kyle Lewis, reigning rookie of the year, and another shining example of the young players showing up and giving back. Patti picks exceedingly motivated next big thing Jarred Kelenick, top Mariners prospect and likely left fielder. Honduran national hero Mauricio Dubón is Pottymouth’s Giants BF for the coming season, while Patti goes for former Met’s fan favorite Wilmer Flores. These two players give us the new vocabulary words “catracho” and “catire.”

Winter ball brings us a Game 7, baby, in LIDOM, a COVID reprieve, Yadi, and a good story about Roberto Alomar in LBPRC, and a lot of familiar names plus too many people in the stands in Venezuela. Women’s hockey starts 1/23 in Lake Placid and on Twitch TV.

“At Least They Have the Browns”

Voxtopica — Tue, 12 Jan 2021 12:00:00 -0500

Cleveland fans mourn the loss of Francisco Lindor and Cookie Carrasco, as the Mets made the hottest of hot stove moves last week. The Nationals, and Patti, come to terms with Kyle Schwarber, the target of one of Patti’s most vehement sports grudges. RIP Tommy Lasorda, he of the long and colorful Dodger history and the despicable denying of his son’s life and death. Mookie Betts and Brianna Hammonds finally make it official after 15 years and one child.

Our boyfriend segment brings random themes of injuries, dreadlocks, bobbleheads, and grand slams. Pottymouth, in her best “if Pepé Le Pew were from Boston” voice, names Franchy Cordero her Royals BF, he of the adorable hair and flashes of brilliance. Patti finally gets to claim outfielder Michael A. Taylor, now that he is no longer a Nat. A little weird to name a BF who is getting married in a few days, but it’s not like that. How did NCiB never name Phillies’ Andrew McCutcheon a boyfriend until now? He’s perfect for us and now Pottymouth’s got him. Patti has had her eye on Alec Bohm, the second coming of Jayson Werth, since August.

In winter baseball, will the Puerto Rican league get going again? LIDOM is full of playoff excitement and MLB players to watch, and Pottymouth is so through with the Sydney Blue Sox. Need to feel great? National treasure Maybelle Blair is turning 94, and asks you to donate to the International Women’s Baseball Center.

Until next time, stay the hell inside (we clearly aren’t kidding about bunkers), wear your mask, watch your distance, and fight The Man. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Damn, Bianca

Voxtopica — Tue, 05 Jan 2021 12:00:00 -0500

The Red Sox hire Bianca Smith, the first Black woman coach in the MLB, who could not be more impressive. We may have to come up with a new boyfriend category. Smith played college softball, club baseball, and has degrees in sports law and sports management, preparing for when she’ll be a GM. Crosstraining with women’s hockey, the way we do, not only will the NWHL season be officiated by an all-female crew, the season will be played at Lake Placid’s historic Herb Brooks Arena and NBCSN will broadcast the February playoffs -- the first time the games will be carried nationally.

San Diego is throwing down with the Dodgers for sure -- signing Blake Snell and Yu Darvish in quick succession. Anticipate arm wrestling between your hosts for who gets the Padres pitching squad for the season. MLB promises not to jump the line for COVID vaccines, bringing up parallels to the testing questions from last season.

Pottymouth leans toward the 30 year-old dads for her boyfriend picks, while Patti atones for last week by going all in for young players giving back in big ways. For the Mets, Pottymouth chooses newly signed Heart-and-hustle-y catcher James McCann, and Patti picks Dominic Smith, part of the Mets embarrassment of riches at first base. Angels SS, and former Cuban National team player, Jose Iglesias, newly acquired from the Os, finally catches Pottymouth’s attention. Young and motivated Angels outfielder Jo Adell, with a disappointing 2020 season and an amazing gift for community-building, is Patti’s pick. Please visit Baseball Generations, Smith’s LA-based organization, and the Jo Adell Foundation, to learn more about bringing baseball opportunities to underserved communities.

It’s playoff time in winter ball. Throw some money to Cespedes Family BBQ and they’ll tell you everything you need to know about LIDOM and then pass that cash right along to the Nelson Cruz’ Boomstick Foundation and The Paloma Project. That’s way more useful than spending money on Australian Baseball, where the Blue Sox aren’t even playing due to COVID, but Manny and Rachel continue to have a good time.

Your hosts will be hiding in the bunker this week as the wingnuts come to your Nation’s Capital. Wash your hands, wear your masks, watch your distance, and fight the man. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

In Which Patti Breaks a Boyfriend Rule

Voxtopica — Tue, 29 Dec 2020 12:00:00 -0500

In a purely mercenary move, Patti declares that Ryan Mountcastle will be AL Rookie of the year this season so claims him for her Orioles boyfriend, even though she finds him Mike Troutish. Pottymouth is more true to form with her second hair-based boyfriend selection of the season, the Os Rio Ruiz. She exercises her keeper option for the season and extends the boyfriend tenure of National’s star Juan Soto. Patti happily selects Andrew “CW” Stevenson for reasons beyond, but not excluding, hair.

We wish Howie Kendrick well in his retirement. We shake our heads at Tony LaRussa’s misdemeanor plea for his second DUI. Somebody owes Pottymouth $10 worth of Manny Ramirez and they better pay up. The Boys have arrived at LIDOM. Get your Vladdy and Tatis Jr fixes in while you can, if Robinson Cano leaves any balls in the ballpark. Please go read the Washington Post article which interviews DC Girls Baseball players about the Kim Ng hiring.

Putting together this show each week got us through 2020. Thanks for hanging in there with us. Happy New Year!

Wash your hands, wear your masks, watch your distance, and fight the man. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Games Seven, Attorneys General, and Hunters Renfroe/w?

Voxtopica — Tue, 22 Dec 2020 12:00:00 -0500

This past week Major League Baseball acknowledged the Negro Leagues with the unfortunate word choice “elevate.” Timing and vocabulary, and a history of discrimination aside, voices we trust see this as righting a wrong and therefore ultimately good. Let the fun of combining stats and declaring some new record-holders begin! The Cleveland Baseball Team announced it will have a new team nickname in place for 2022 even though Patti is sure they’ve already got it selected and the logo designed and it should be The Rocks but it is probably the Spiders.

Pottymouth’s Red Sox boyfriend is adorable and hard-working Jeter Downs -- guess who he wants to emulate in all the right ways? Patti goes for brand new Red Sox Hunter Renfroe, fresh off his World Series appearance with the Rays, not Las Vegas Raiders Hunter Renfrow. And not because he once caught a possum with his bare hands. For the Rockies, Pottymouth chooses Raimel Tapia, he of the great hair and greater generosity, while Patti picks Sam “Charlie Blackmon 2.0” Hilliard and his family’s dedication to raising funds for ALS through their #TeamHilliard actions.

Stop what you are doing and give all your money to Reinas Baseball to support 20 year old Latinx founder Gabby Veléz bring baseball to girls in New York City. More good in the world, this time from Ian Desmond, who is starting to roll out his Newtown Connection project to enhance and connect the work of existing community organizations.

Godammit Omar. Hey, Manny? Pottymouth paid $10 to watch you play baseball down under, not get lost with Rachel Balkovic. What’s really going on here?

The State of the Minors: It’s Just a Flesh Wound

Voxtopica — Tue, 15 Dec 2020 12:00:00 -0500

Pottymouth is looking for a good lawyer willing to defend the Minors from the MLB power grab. Owners of the 120 teams “invited” to remain or become affiliated with an MLB team are ticked about the process, the timing, and the sketchy details of what will be a ten-year contract. The teams that were cut are ticked about being jettisoned, and by learning the news via social media. It’s bad all around.

Patti goes for a good parenting and big-name trade theme for this week’s baseball boyfriend, Daz Cameron of the Tigers and Carson Kelly of the Diamondbacks. Pottymouth focuses on players doing good in the world, selecting Jeimer Candelario as her Tiger BF and Eduardo Escobar for the Dbacks.

MLB continues its “Take the Field” program at this year’s virtual Winter Meetings to promote education and networking for women interested in careers in coaching, scouting, and player development. Vladdy arrives on the LIDOM scene, Roberto Alomar’s plan for a rookie’s only team is working as well as you might have expected, and how early would you get up to watch Manny Ramirez play Australian baseball?

Pottymouth Has Never Seen High School Musical

Voxtopica — Tue, 08 Dec 2020 12:00:00 -0500

The return of our baseball boyfriend segment leads to the discovery of an unfortunate vacuum in Pottymouth’s pop culture experience. She’s never seen High School Musical, and it shows. “Hair guy” Cole Tucker, her choice for Pirates BF, is also Vanessa Hudgens choice for BF, and we are all in this together. Patti goes for Anthony Alford based heavily on his work with the Player’s Alliance and other social justice issues. Isiah Kiner-Falefa and Leody Taveras are our Ranger pics for the coming year.

Randy Arozarena is arrested for and subsequently released after allegedly trying to remove his daughter from her mother’s home, and assaulting his ex-father-in-law in the process. This leads to a what do we do with the T shirt conversation that we have way too often when players we absolutely fall in love with are accused of abuse but never investigated to a conclusion. For now, the Randy shirt is hanging with the Omar shirt in the bottom drawer until further notice. On a related note, LIDOM is conveniently concentrating such players all on one team, the Toros del Este, for your convenience.

The Player’s Alliance takes their work to the streets, partnering with Pull Up Neighbor to bring baseball equipment, fresh produce and shelf-stable food, and PPE to underserved neighborhoods across the country.

MLB continues to muck up the minor leagues by turning the NY-Penn league into a “Draft League” to showcase players who can afford to play for free, and converting the Pioneer League into an independent “Partner League” with a promise of some pathway to the majors, and maybe some start up money. Meanwhile, the Charlotte Knights continue to innovate to create some income, converting their suites into office space overlooking the field, for WFH people to rent by day or week to become Work From Homeplate people. Look elsewhere for your baseball -- the LBPRC is kicking off this week with four teams, including Roberto Alomar’s RA12 which has some unusual ideas.

The Incredible Women of the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League

Voxtopica — Tue, 01 Dec 2020 12:00:00 -0500

Patti and the Pottymouth welcome back illustrator, designer, writer, and baseball fan Anika Orrock, to talk about her book, “The Incredible Women of the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League.” Anika shares stories of conversations with these Incredible Women, and fitting together her illustrations, comic strips, narrative, and players’ quotes into a cohesive whole, à la Criminal Minds. We dig a little deeper into stories that were new to us such as this was a well-paying job that helped players support their families and go on to college, and that the AAGPBL started out as a softball league, changing a little every season until it was full-on baseball. Stories about recruitment and training in Cuba lead us to exploring the League’s complicated relationship with race. NCiB suggests you consider The Incredible Women of the All-American Girls Professional Baseball League as the perfect gift for the baseball lovers, the artists, and the historians in your life. Limited personalized, autographed copies are available through Anika’s website, and she recommends purchasing through any of these Black-owned independent bookstores. Learn more about Anika’s artwork in Episode 155, where she talks about her participation in the NLBMArt fundraiser. There’s also a little cross-training with College Football -- congrats Sarah Fuller!

Viva la Revolución

Voxtopica — Tue, 24 Nov 2020 12:00:00 -0500

Theo Epstein departs the Cubs, leading to lots of speculation about his next steps. Team ownership? The Commissioner's office? Shake things up? Or focus on his Foundation to be Named Later and the Player’s Alliance? NCiB votes for revolution. Also in CubsWorld, Wrigley Field is designated a National Historical Landmark, which seems overdue as well as a windfall in tax credits.

The Washington Nationals find a new Triple A home with the Rochester Red Wings, which Patti and the Pottymouth endorse 100%. Nothing personal, Fresno. More feel good news --the Nats partner with a local restaurant group to offer a turkey fry in the outfield, raising needed funds for the local “Fill the Fridge” initiative. The Dodgers host a drive-through holiday festival to celebrate the season and their World Series win, and to benefit their team charities. Brian Cashman, GM of the Yankees, camps out in Yankee Stadium to raise awareness of teen homelessness. Will 2021 be the year we finally get a new women’s baseball league? Sue Parsons Zipay, of that “old” women’s baseball league, the AAGBL, is trying to make that happen.

The “small asshole detour” from happy talk takes us to Robinson Cano busted a second time for PEDs and missing the entire 2021 season, Aroldis Frickin’ Chapman's suspension for throwing 101 mph at Mike Brosseau’s head reduced two 2 games, and Cody Bellinger's shoulder surgery to repair damage from his homerun celebration.

Pottymouth’s CPBL BF Lin An-Ko wins Rookie of the Year. There’s drama in the finals of the KBO. And even with familiar faces on every team, a COVID outbreak makes the Dominican League a lot less fun. Domestic abusers Odubel Herrera and Domingo Germán may be working stints there as a redemption tour.

Put Your Shoes On, There’s Glass Everywhere

Voxtopica — Tue, 17 Nov 2020 12:00:00 -0500

Kim Ng, the new GM of the Miami Marlins, has blazed a trail of firsts in her 30-year career in baseball: youngest person and first woman to win an arbitration case, youngest assistant GM, first Asian-American GM, and more. Her overqualification for the job is par for the course of women working in sports, as Pottymouth says, backwards and in heels. Ng, along with the first woman play by play announcer and a burst of new women coaches, gave us a welcome bright spot in an otherwise crappy 2020. Patti wonders if she may be a Marlin’s fan now. In contrast, the White Sox continue to stand by their questionable hire of Tony LaRussa with full knowledge of his second DUI (insert rant here). There is much eye-rolling at Jeff Luhnow’s suit against the Astros, even though his accusations of Manfred and Crane cutting a deal are completely believable.

It is award season and we couldn’t be happier about MVPs Jose Abreu and Freddie Freeman. Don Mattingly and Kevin Cash take home Manager of the Year awards, providing a non-zero number of good things coming from Florida. We use the Rookie of the Year award to Kyle Lewis and Devin Williams as an opportunity for previewing future boyfriends. Ohio girl Patti couldn’t be more thrilled with the Shane Beiber / Trevor Bauer Ohio sweep of the Cy Young. Pottymouth feels a little meh about Bauer and like all of us, wishes Beiber’s dominance hadn’t given out against the Yankees in the playoffs. Patti’s Reds BF Eugenio Suarez is honored in Venezuela, and we sure wish our stupid boyfriend rules didn’t rule out pitchers because Doo and Cole Tucker won us over with the simple use of pronouns.

It’s opening day for Dominican Baseball, and the Cespedes Family BBQ has it all spelled out in a guide that you can buy for a $5 donation to support youth sports and women’s shelters in the DR. They did the work so we can gloss over the details and just tell you who we like (pssst… it’s the Liones). See Pottymouth’s guide to winter baseball.

Somebody Hire Danny Shih Right Now

Voxtopica — Fri, 13 Nov 2020 12:00:00 -0500

Danny Shih spent months building community with English-speaking fans of the CPBL, running the league’s Twitter feed, creating hype videos and excellent game wraps. He joins Patti and the Pottymouth to relive the excitement of the Taiwan Series, and highlight what makes this league so special.

Danny rightly notes that Taiwan was the only place on Earth with sold-out ballparks for a championship, which made the Series a statement and a symbol in this time of COVID-19: This can be cured. This can be done. He equated the vibe in the stadiums as four hours of the intensity of World Series Baby Shark in Nats Park. The Lions and the Brothers had their own levels of intensity which Pottymouth and Danny referred to as the “Flappy Flappy” and the “Shoot the Bird Down.” MLB could take a page from the CPBL with the teams dancing for their fans as a thank you for support. We get deep in the weeds for some game highlights and second-guessing of managerial decisions, because that’s what fans do. There’s a little cross-training with college football, including a tiny tiny rant about Notre Dame fans storming the field because what the hell.

If his excellent work this season is any indication, Danny Shih has a bright future. Somebody hire him right now. He’ll settle for an internship.

I’ll Take Lions for 1000, Alex

Voxtopica — Tue, 10 Nov 2020 12:00:00 -0500

What a week! A couple of important wins, including NCiB going 2-0 in bets on the UniLions in the Taiwan Series. Pottymouth gives our pal, CPBL Social Media Guy Daniel Shih, dating advice and recaps the championship series. That other important win gives Patti a chance to steal a joke deftly combining the Electoral College and baseball.

No fewer than 39 professional sports venues became polling places this year to provide safe places for large numbers of people to vote. President-Elect Biden is invited to throw out the first pitch for the Nats, although what Opening Day looks like is an open question. Pottymouth processes her feelings about Alex Cora going back to the Red Sox. Tim Anderson won’t go changin’ to try to please LaRussa. The Mets clean house. Big Sexy Bartolo Colon still wants to play baseball which is one more reason you should watch the Dominican League.

Hey, guess what? The Dodgers organization reports 5 or 9 post-World Series celebration positive COVID-19 test results, depending on who you ask. And MLB lets Justin Turner off the hook because how can we expect a grown man not to cave to peer pressure. (yeah, there’s a rant.) The Gold Glove and Silver Slugger award winners are NCiB boyfriend heavy, the way it should be. Also, CPBL pitcher Tim Melville’s mom thinks we are sassy and zany.

VOTE, and also, Why do the White Sox Hate Fun?

Voxtopica — Tue, 03 Nov 2020 12:00:00 -0500

They must, right? Or else why would a team full of talented, enthusiastic, exciting, and outspoken players hire Tony “unwritten rules” LaRussa? The 76 year old white guy called out Tatis Jrs’ grand slam, allowed that protests against racial injustice are okay as long as they are “sincere,” and claims not to have a racist bone in his body. Yeah, we rant again. And really, are there only three candidates qualified in the whole world of baseball for the three open managerial positions? Way to grow the game, MLB. We have some words for the Tigers hiring of A.J. Hinch, and some Alex Cora musings.

We throw some belated appreciation Corey Seager’s way, and give Jon Lester the NCiB seal of approval for buying the first beer for each fan at a whole slew of Chicago bars if they say to put it on Jon’s tab. It has to be Miller Lite though so we are not all in on this. Yasiel Puig, man. Just about when you win us over, an assault allegation comes to light, dating back to Dodger days. The Mets have a new owner with a big fat wallet, and we like how he’s spending it on staff and small businesses. Let’s see what happens with free agents.

Now that MLB’s season is over, they’ve washed their hands of any COVID testing and follow up responsibility so we may never know the result of Justing Turner’s mask-free World Series on-field celebration. There are a wide range of predictions on what the official consequences will be -- the collateral damage is a lot of disappointment from long-time fans. In other COVID news, the powers that be are looking to next season and perhaps staggering the minor-league training and season schedule to accommodate distancing and safety protocols. Which minor leaguers will have no say in because they DON’T HAVE A UNION. The hot stove is upon us so we catch you up on contract options, non-tendering of players, and what to watch for in free agency offers.

Our good friend, Clive Hsu, English-language CPBL commentator for Eleven Sports, joins us to talk about the Taiwan Series. Two games into the best of seven championship, Pottymouth’s Lions and Clive’s pick, the Brothers, are tied at one game each. There’s some thoughtful analysis, some predictions, and some wagering (Pottymouth offers to sing, Clive and Patti want her to get a tattoo). Don’t forget to check Pottymouth’s guide to Winter Baseball once the CPBL wraps up.

Wash your hands, wear your masks, and vote like your life depends on it. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Wash your hands, wear your masks, and stay away from Justin Turner: A Rant

Voxtopica — Thu, 29 Oct 2020 12:00:00 -0400

It’s the day after the end of the 2020 World Series and Patti and the Pottymouth are super tired, a little hungover, and very stressed. It’s a good time for a rant. Pottymouth is beside herself with Kevin Cash’s decision to pull Blake Snell while he was still dealing. Patti tries to play devil’s advocate but can’t even convince herself. There’s a failed attempt at both Bonnie Tyler and Kim Carnes songs. The rant really gets rolling over Justin Turner’s behavior after learning he tested positive for the coronavirus. We SAID it wasn’t a bubble. We SAID COVID would end the season. We hate being right. MLB is investigating Turner’s behavior as he ignored MLB security and went back out to celebrate with his teammates and their families, eventually maskless. Celebration or superspreader? On top of all of that, Patti missed free taco day, brought to you by two-time taco guy Pookie Betts. Hurry on over to the More than Baseball auction to bid on game worn cleats to support minor league ballplayers, since MLB doesn’t.

Wash your hands, wear your masks, and stay away from Justin Turner. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

“Man, Baseball is FUN”

Voxtopica — Tue, 27 Oct 2020 12:00:00 -0400

Brett Phillips of dance off, mom jokes, clipboard, and oh yeah, a walk off hit in World Series Game 4 fame, is the hero we need right now. Randy Arozarena broke multiple post-season records this week, but the thing we will remember is the grin on his face while slapping home plate after the tuck and roll. Austin Barnes’ crazy stat of a homerun and safety squeeze on one WS game encourages Patti to talk bunt and define safety vs suicide squeezes. Kershaw’s stellar performance in G5 will be most memorable for catching Margot trying to steal home -- encouraging Patti to define balk, and explain just how much went into that play.

If you squint, the entire Dodgers squad is made up of Pottymouth boyfriends past and present. Kiké, Pookie, Justin and Max are all making their mark. Joctober is picking up a little momentum so Patti’s BF is checking in as well. Patti’s Rays BF Brandon Lowe drops an f-bomb, attracting attention from Pottymouth, and gets his mojo back. Julio Urias is never going to be a boyfriend. Pete Seat received an excused absence from the Commissioner for breaking his World Series attendance streak, and then got to go to his 15th in a row anyway.

Pottymouth’s CPBL team, the UniLions, made the Taiwan Series, scoring us each autographed MonkeyBalls from our pal Clive Hsu and a team dance for all their fans. Those games start as soon as the World Series ends, with the KBO hot on their heels. Be sure to check out Pottymouth’s Google Doc with the regularly updated guidance on how to watch Winter Ball in Latin America.

Wash your hands, wear your masks, and stay safe. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Nothing Better Than Games Seven

Voxtopica — Tue, 20 Oct 2020 12:00:00 -0400

Friend of the show, Holly Simonette, is the only human we know personally who has attended an MLB game in person this season. She joins us to tell us about her (death-defying) visit to Globe Life Field, including confrontations with both that f’n chop, and possibly rattlesnake-based concessions.

Pottymouth uses her teacher’s voice in our annual vocabulary lesson about “Games Seven,” which we enjoy saying and really enjoy watching. The Rays are suddenly America’s Team and getting framed as Good triumphing over Evil. Patti’s BF Brandon Lowe may finally be getting out of his post season slump (now would be great). Pottymouth celebrates ALCS MVP Randy Arozarena. The NLCS game 7 was the battle of the Pottymouth bfs, and provided one more opportunity to pick on amazing athlete Cody Bellinger. And then we make predictions, which are weirdly identical.

The CPBL and KBO are winding up and hijinks ensue, begging the question "funny? or dick move?" and Winter Leagues are just getting started. The posting period -- the time when Korean teams are able to make their players available to MLB teams -- has been postponed due to the pandemic. The soon-to-be announced Player’s Choice award winners are loaded with NCiB boyfriends, surprising no one.

Poetic Justice and Venezuelan Heartbreak

Voxtopica — Tue, 13 Oct 2020 12:00:00 -0400

It turns out that strong and steady won out over magic and momentum in the Division Series. We are grateful to Mike Brosseau for a moment of poetic justice as he hit the series winning homer off of Aroldis Chapman. We will miss the joy that the Padres bandwagon brought to us and yet we hopped on the Rays train pretty fast after the dance off. Patti learns how to pronounce Arozarena, because Pottymouth already called dibs on next year’s boyfriend so we’ll be saying it a lot. We examine our biases around Manny Machado and Cody Bellinger.

We applaud the Supreme Court decision to let the minor league case proceed as a class action suit for minimum wage for players. There are rants around the Appalachian League now being a collegiate wooden bat play-for-free league, and a why the heck are fans going to be in the stands for the NLCS and WS rant. We like the Dodgers Drive in much better. And then there is heartbreak. The soon-to-be-ex-wife of Patti’s very first baseball boyfriend, Omar Vizquel, has publicly accused him of abuse. The red wine and talk therapy are helping, and we believe women, so we have to work through the pain. We are dealing with A Lot Of Stuff.

We can always count on International Baseball. Turns out the CPBL is not as over as we thought.

Cinderella, Magic, and Momentum

Voxtopica — Tue, 06 Oct 2020 12:00:00 -0400

Patti and the Pottymouth welcome artist, writer, and baseball fan Anika Orrock to tell us about her vintage style baseball illustrations, and the Negro Leagues Baseball Museum art show and benefit. Through October 10th, a percentage of your purchase from any of 100 artists helps raise funds for this important museum.

In that crazy week of Wildcard games, what the hell happened to Bieber? What happened to the runner on second? How about that Bauer gem that was still a 1 run loss in 13 innings? The Padres 9 pitcher bullpen game shut out of the Cards sending them to their first playoffs since 1998? How about Bottom Feeders as best nickname? This week’s division series games feature a contentious As vs Asterisks, in Dodger Stadium no less, the Rays “We don’t like them” vs. the Yankees “It’s mutual”, sharing the same hotel, the magical Padres vs the solid as a rock Dodgers, and Atlanta vs the momentum-fueled Marlins.

In cross-training COVID-19 news, Cam Newton AND fake Cam Newton both test positive, and at least 24 college football games are postponed. Patti suggests that the BWA calls the MVP award the “Washington Football Team” until they can formally rename it after Frank Robinson.

In the world of playoff-bound boyfriends past and present, Tatis Jr. gives an epic bat flip and shares history with Eric Hosmer. Pottymouth continues to warm up to Sabathia, as he wins the battle of the CCs by smacking down Carlos Correa’s trash talk. Patti’s Padres bf Josh Naylor scores 5 hits in his first 5 playoff plate appearances, only he plays for Cleveland now. Miguel Rojas is the one shining star left on her boyfriend roster. And Pottymouth’s CPBL bf Lin An-Ko is the youngest player to 30 HRs, and on his way to break the league record.

How was Hunter Pence never an NCiB Boyfriend?

Voxtopica — Tue, 29 Sep 2020 12:00:00 -0400

Hard to believe, but we got through the whole dang season. Patti and the Pottymouth give you their good, bad, and ugly of how it went, should it have gone? And what about all those new rules? It felt like a lot more guys were injured, but also a lot more got their call ups. Hunter Pence retires and we wish him well. This crazy Wildcard Week is just beginning so we try to lay it all out for you. We even make a few predictions with absolutely no conviction whatsoever.

MLB gives staff election day off in hopes they will volunteer to work the polls. Fenway, Nats Park, Camden Yards, Comerica, and Dodger Stadium will all be early voting sites. But you have to live in the city to go there, you can’t just go to Fenway to vote if you, hypothetically, live outside of DC, Pottymouth.

For those downplaying the lasting effects of COVID, Eduardo Rodriquez was just cleared to start walking. Walking. Yoan Moncada hit his first homer in a month and says his energy is just starting to feel normal again post COVID-19. Bradford William Davis investigated that promise made by MLB to offer testing to front line workers in MLB cities as part of its protocols and plans. The results are not good.

Did you have “power outage” on your list of reasons to delay a ballgame in 2020? Did you have Andrew Stevenson hitting two homers off of Jacob DeGrom? Do you believe that Thom Brennaman has made “Heartfelt efforts at reconciliation with LGBTQ community” ? Boyfriends Bobby Dalbec, Juan Soto, Freddie Freeman, Jose Ramirez, and DJ LeMahieu are finishing the season strong, and may we please have Statcast on the Willson Contreras batflip?

Does Ian Anderson pitch standing on one leg?

Voxtopica — Tue, 22 Sep 2020 12:00:00 -0400

Patti and the Pottymouth welcome Marla from the Mansplain Baseball Elsewhere podcast to talk Atlanta baseball. We share some Freddie love, talk changing problematic team names, and feel tremendously old as our Jethro Tull jokes fall flat.

Playoffs are a week away so we get you prepped with the layout of the rounds, seeding, and quarantine rules. They aren’t bubbles, they are neutral sites with protocols. Will there be fans in the stands for the World Series? It’s Texas, so who knows? What are the pros and cons of the expanded playoffs? Big Papi gives a personal COVID-19 PSA, and now even dangerous air quality from wildfires is creating public health havoc for baseball. We balance the disappointing Verlander Tommy John news with the happy of Rippkin Penn Holt joining the Brockstar family. It’s the last week of the regular season, can we please let Brock Holt catch?

Pottymouth’s former bad boy BF Josh Donaldson is ejected after hitting a tater, because kicking dirt on home plate is the only way umpires suffer consequences for bad calls. Patti tries not to take it personally that a slew of former boyfriends, who slumped during their relationship, are having banner seasons now, like Jose Ramirez and the string of multihomer games. The CPBL standings are still too close to call, but the important thing is Pottymouth is rocking a new Lions jersey.

Dangerous Pants

Voxtopica — Tue, 15 Sep 2020 12:00:00 -0400

Zack Wheeler proves what we’ve been saying all along. Pants are dangerous. Not as dangerous as ticking off Dodger fans, who trolled the visiting Asterisks by land, air, and art. The legendary Vin Scully is auctioning off his extensive collection of memorabilia in order to make a meaningful charitable donation, and leave the kids and grandkids a little something. This year’s Roberto Clemente Day saw Puerto Rican players, and the whole Pirates team, wearing number 21, and a call for that number to be retired league-wide.

There was a blip in the consecutive days since a player tested positive for COVID-19 run, causing two Giants-Padres games to be postponed, but now the Giants say maybe a false positive? The Playoff Bubble locations have been decided, San Diego -- Los Angeles for the American League and Houson -- Arlington for the National League. Globe Life Field wins the World Series because it is shiny, new, and centrally located for maximum TV ratings. Some details around the edges regarding inclusion of family members are still subject to MLBPA approval.

Pottymouth’s Red Soxs boyfriend Bobby “Bomb” Dalbec can’t stop hitting homers. Patti’s Twins BF Willians Astudillo is finally back from the COVID IL and then the alternate site and hit his first. Trea Turner’s mom is our new mom boyfriend (can we have those?) with fact-checking Twitter regarding Trea’s accomplishments, being the one person Trea thinks actually cares if he wins the batting title, and for using “chocolate brownies” as a code word. Isan Diaz opts back in with the Marlins. Luis Arráez, Matt Chapman, patron saint Sean Doolittle, and maybe JT Realmuto are all out with injuries, some of which are season-ending since we’ve only got two more weeks. Francisco Lindor was fined for smiling at Sergio Romo, who was suspended and fined for not liking it.

In the CPBL, it is still too close to call in the standings, and possibly a dead-heat in the mascot game as well. Dimple Cannon Jr. is as cute as can be in his MVP dance with his dad. Cuban baseball begins under the watchful eye of the Public Health Ministry, with careful protocols, no fans in the stands, and a YouTube channel. Roberto Alomar’s RA12 joins Puerto Rico’s Roberto Clemente League, and immediately becomes Patti’s team to pit against Pottymouth’s Gigantes de Carolina. Manny Ramirez joins the Sydney Blue Sox and we need the shirt.

Waino and Yadi are the most pure thing in baseball

Voxtopica — Fri, 11 Sep 2020 12:00:00 -0400

Patti and the Pottymouth talk all things Cardinals with guest Tara Wellman, co-host of the Chirps and Gateway to Baseball Heaven podcasts. Tara takes us through the aftermath of the COVID-19 shutdown, the responsibility of national media to get the facts straight, baseball towns, and “The Cardinal Way.”

We look at the lightning rod that is Yadier Molina, and the resurgence of Cy Young-ish Adam Wainwright. Tara is happily on the I told you so end of knowing great things would come from Kolten Wong. Tara walks Pottymouth through the pitching squad past and present.

Tara leads us on a deep dive into MLB’s power play to take control of the Minors in which both player development and fan development will take a serious hit. Fewer teams lead to the loss of access points for communities, and the loss of the Albert Pujols of the future.

An excerpt of this interview appeared in NCiB’s episode 151, Cal, Cards, and Comebacks.

Cal, Cardinals, and Comebacks

Voxtopica — Tue, 08 Sep 2020 12:00:00 -0400

We celebrate the 25th anniversary of Ironman Cal Ripken Jr.’s historic 2131st game and share some tidbits you maybe didn’t get the first time around. Slam Diego won the trade deadline with Mike Clevenger and a slew of other critical additions, and we share those transactions most notable to us, and to our baseball boyfriends, including Jonathan Villar, Josh Naylor, and the separating of the Martes. The death knell of the Minor Leagues tolled last week as MLB moved the power-grab rumor into an actual proposal that will gut communities across the country.

Patti’s boyfriends are back (yes, there is singing), from being sent down to the alternate training sites, and they returned with a bang. Carter Kieboom claimed his spot as the Nats go-to 3B, Oscar Mercado hit off of untouchable Josh Hader, and Miguel Andujar drove in a game winner. Poster boyfriend Fernando Tatis Jr. brought home NL player of the month for August and Pottymouth hopes his first time is special. Nominees for the Roberto Clemente Award were announced and it is a laundry list of NCiB boyfriends past and present. Pete Alonso hits his first walk-off HR and feels Tom Seaver smiling down on the Mets.

There’s mayhem in the CPBL with a virtual dead heat in the standings and bench clearing conversations on the field. The Monkeys have beaned the Lions so often there’s a spreadsheet.

Jason Heyward is The Baseball Boyfriend, and more Cubs talk

Voxtopica — Fri, 04 Sep 2020 12:00:00 -0400

What can two die-hard Cubs fans, a third generation Red Sox fan, and a Cleveland girl agree on? Jason Heyward. In our full conversation with Cuppa Cubbie Blue co-hosts Andi Cruz Vanecek and Sara Sanchez, we all stand with J-Hey, even when his team let him, and us, down. Sara and Andi walk us through what the Cub’s bad decision-making in the face of an historic moment for racial justice in professional sports looked and felt like close up. And share their strategies for handling baseball heartbreak. On to happier topics, we talk growing up baseball, baseball boyfriends, including Heyward, Javy Baez, Willson Contreras, and why we should be paying attention to Ian Happ. Patti gets approval for this year’s pick, Nico Hoerner. Pottymouth plunges the dagger straight into Patti’s heart and asks Sara and Andi to tell their 2016 World Series Stories. But it was worth it. An excerpt from this conversation appeared in NCiB’s episode #150 “This is Bigger Than Baseball.”

This is Bigger Than Baseball

Voxtopica — Tue, 01 Sep 2020 12:00:00 -0400

Cuppa Cubbie Blue co-hosts Sara Sanchez and Andi Cruz Vanacek join Patti and the Pottymouth to talk all things Cubs, with a focus on this week’s racial justice actions and inactions, and strategies for moving forward when the team you love the most disappoints you in non-baseball ways. In unity with those protesting the police shooting of Jacob Blake, Dominic Smith and Jack Flaherty make emotional calls to action, the Dodgers stand with Mookie Betts, and Jason Heyward and Dexter Fowler sit alone. The Player’s Alliance donates salaries to honor Jackie Robinson Day, and the Mets add a hot mic misfire into what should have been a player-led action. Cleveland professional sports teams unite, and the WNBA and NBA show us how it's done.

Every team played on Saturday for the first time in forever, but by Sunday a member of the Oakland Athletics tested positive for coronavirus, cancelling their final game with the Astros and keeping them in isolation in Houston awaiting further testing and contact tracing. No players tested positive the previous week of monitoring testing. Playoffs may happen in bubbles, a Brockstar comes to the Nationals, Pottymouth’s Red Sox BF gets the call, and Flo and the Charmin bear catch some homerun balls.

Hips Don’t Lie: Slam Diego’s Dugout Dancers, Unwritten Rules, and Manscaping, with Hell’s Belles

Voxtopica — Thu, 27 Aug 2020 12:00:00 -0400

In this complete and (mostly) uncut conversation, Patti and the Pottymouth hang with their San Diego sisters, Angela and Liddy of the Hell’s Belles podcast, and agree that your first time should be special, whether it’s your first grand slam or your first World Series. Pour yourself a Crown and Coke and settle in for #TeamTatis’ take on unwritten rules, replacements for Rob Manfred, the economics of cardboard cutouts, and the curse of dubious ballpark advertising. The dancing is implied. An excerpt of this happy hour was included in No Crying in Baseball’s Episode #149, Welcome to Slam Diego.

Welcome to Slam Diego

Voxtopica — Tue, 25 Aug 2020 12:00:00 -0400

Our pals, Angela and Liddy, better known as “Hell's Belles,” join us to celebrate the joy that is the San Diego Padres -- grand slam records, Air Tatis, dugout dancers and more, a conversation quite possibly fueled by adult beverages. But not before we show some love to Patti’s Giant’s BF Joey Bart, who at last got the call up, and almost completed a Rookie Cycle in his first game (h/t to friend of the show Deborah). We’ve got a little Yaz, a little Evan, and a pasta party with Tim Anderson. There may be a small rant about a homophobe with a useless apology.

Our COVID-19 updates cover the Reds, the Mets, the Astros alternate training site, and what the heck Nick Markakis? Pottymouth kicks off the Ohio pitcher check in with her love hate for Trevor Bauer and whatever that thing is that he has for Joe Kelly. Patti checks in on the state of the Cleveland Baseball team without their banished starters and the news is good (welcome, rookie Triston Mackenzie and your 10Ks!). Pottymouth says a nice thing about an Oriole! It may be Rio Ruiz’s fabulous flow, but we’ll take it.

It turns out NCiB is very big in Taiwan. So are the UniLions, holding down first place in the CPBL. Fans are out in Korea, as the virus numbers start to creep back up in that country. Former bf Daniel Palka is out of quarantine and ready to play.

Can I talk about some more jerks?

Voxtopica — Tue, 18 Aug 2020 12:00:00 -0400

Plesac, Clevenger, Cintrón, we’ve got ‘em all going on. Turns out breaking your team’s code of conduct, disparaging someone’s mother, defending said mother, and pouting all have consequences. The Cardinals are back after 19 days off, just in time for the Reds to have an active player test positive putting a few games on ice. We will enjoy any opportunity to set Trevor Bauer off on a righteous rant, however.

Oh, hey, the Orioles are still above .500 and Austin Hays hit the league’s very first two-run lead-off homer. Let those words sink in and hurray for starting a runner on second. So far two Nationals pitchers have been ejected from games that they were watching from the stands. The White Sox commentators have Broadway game.

We got some boyfriends on the IL, including Jeff McNeil with a scary wall collision, 5-5 Bo Bichette with a knee sprain, and our old friend the hamate rearing its ugly hook but likely giving Tommy Pham superpowers in about a month. Pottymouth is sad for Jose Altuve, and regrets not choosing Jonathan Arauz as her Red Sox boyfriend, but at least she’s got Juan Soto. Patti goes all in on Oakland A’s bandwagon-ing as Matty Moustache can only hit homers (until he hit three singles instead).

Korea shuts down fans in the stands to curb a coronavirus outbreak that the US wouldn’t even blink at. Pottymouth and NCiB best friend Clive Hsu get all Vegas on the second half of the CPBL season, and for this episode’s dose of adorable, here’s the Taiwan Bomber’s tiny son throwing out a first pitch to celebrate his dad’s 1000th hit.

Doolittle is our Patron Saint, Tatis, Jr. is our Poster Boy

Voxtopica — Tue, 11 Aug 2020 12:00:00 -0400

Patti and the Pottymouth have a new best friend in Clive Hsu, English language broadcaster for the CPBL. We talk with Clive about how a high school guidance counselor gets the baseball gig, the importance of singing at the stretch, Pottymouth’s Lion’s BF, the Baltimore Orioles, and why everyone should be watching the CPBL. Did we mention the Os are at .500 and have a better record than the Red Sox and the Nationals?

The Oakland A’s show us their good (9 straight wins and excellent Matts), their bad (bench clearing brawl), and their ugly (Nazi salute by bench coach?). Still waiting on the consequences of that fight -- never insult someone’s mother, BTW -- and how those will match up with the whole Joe Kelly situation. We don’t deserve Sean Doolittle and we’re mighty ticked at the bad humans who drove him off of Twitter.

In pandemic news, can the Cardinals come back from their outbreak? How are we still playing this season? Marcus Stroman becomes our surprise opt-out of the week. The Cleveland players assure the world they will handle Zach Plesac breaking protocols “in-house,” while the team models appropriate response by dropping him in a car, keeping him away from the team, and starting quarantine. What’s up with the river water at both ends of Ohio? The Reds and Cleveland pitchers are killing it with Bauer, Bieber, Gray, and Plesac all over the leader boards.

Fernando Tatis, Jr. has become our poster boy for the ideal baseball boyfriend. At only 21 freaking years old, his numbers put him in contention for MVP, his pure joy in playing the game makes the world a better place, and he’s pretty good on the public health front. And good hair, too. In other boyfriend news, Joey Gallo is ripping it up, which we attribute to the superpower bestowed by hamate surgery. Pirates BF Gregory Polanco collides with teammate Phil Evans, resulting in season-ending injuries for Evans. Nick Solak homers off of Jo Adell’s glove, then the scoring changes to four-base error. But it lets us bring up Jose Canseco. Other notable NIcks, Castellanos and Markakis, are having a great time at the plate in addition to contributing to the 70s disco vibe of the unbuttoned jersey. In boyfriend-on-boyfriend mayhem, Christian Yelich scores an inside the park HR while Eloy Jimenez attempts to untangle himself from safety netting. Tim Locastro is fast and Joey Votto is salty and that’s how we like it.

Never Apologize for the Pottymouth

Voxtopica — Tue, 04 Aug 2020 12:00:00 -0400

The return of the Joe Kelly Fight Club puts Pottymouth in the excellent company of Dusty Baker. Dave Roberts thinks we’ve got that whole Astros cheating thing out of our system now so Alex Bregman’s head should be safe from here on out. Patti believes Joe laid the groundwork for his defense with his video of a wild pitch breaking a window in his home.

There’s actual good news to report this week with BabyTrout and a swath of young baseball boyfriends making their presence known. Luis Robert and Eloy Jiminez are lighting up the White Sox. Evan White makes a defensive difference immediately on the Mariners, Carter Kieboom is named player of the game last week, and Os BFs Santander and Severino hit back to back homers. Please call up Joey Bart.

The league still hasn’t shut down despite COVID-19 outbreaks on both the Marlins and the Cardinals, and 18 postponed games so far. Patti tries to make “Capital Jays” stick. LoCain and Isan Díaz opt out and Nick Markakis opts back in. WTF? And Cespedes may or may not have opted out just by skipping town. Rob Manfred announces he is not a quitter, which should make us all feel better continuing the season, but all teams aren’t as responsible as the Cubs seem to be.

The start of hockey and basketball gives us plenty of opportunity to see both symbols and protests, and some poking of holes. Yes, you can kneel in skates on the ice. That’s not a thing. Pottymouth recommends some crosstraining with the WNBA with an article by Sue Bird and Nneka Ogwumike, and also a closer examination of MLB’s attempts at unity by Bradford William Davis. On a lighter crosstraining note, TJ Oshie, the Washington Capital loved by all moms everywhere, interacts with invisible fans to not mess with a ritual.As always, international baseball. Get up and watch.

There is still time to enter to win an Unforgettaball! Send an email to info@unforgettaballs.com putting No Crying in Baseball in the subject line. If you also add “heard it on the show” in the body of the message, you’ll get a second entry. Once 50 entries are received, one will be randomly selected to win the baseball of their choice from Unforgettaballs.com

2.7 is the New 1

Voxtopica — Tue, 28 Jul 2020 12:00:00 -0400

We snuck in the baseball math right up top -- 60 games shortened season x 2.7 = 162 game regular season. But with the Marlins COVID-19 outbreak, will we get past the first week?

MLB’s health protocols start to fall apart as active players, initially Juan Soto of the Nationals and Matt Davidson of the Reds, and now a huge swath of the Miami Marlins, test positive smack in the middle of playing games against other teams, on the road and at home. And still the games continue. This, after a second week of very low numbers of positive tests. Makes you rethink that bubble, doesn’t it?

Opening weekend is full of Black Lives Matter and “unity” symbols and ceremonies, many Player Alliance and individual player-led, but what matters is what comes next. Let’s not get stuck in the keeping score stage, of who is wearing the shirts and who is kneeling and who is not. Patti is the first to drop an f-bomb because her nemesis Kyle Schwarber chose to wear a Chicago Police Department cap with his BLM shirt and boy does she feel vindicated for years of holding a Joe Buck-fueled grudge. Patti and the Pottymouth engage in a civil disagreement over MLB’s statement that supporting human rights is not political. The Blue Jays Anthony Alford speaks meaningfully from his place of “uniform” privilege.

We spend a moment on opening weekend game-related highlights and weirdlights including Adam DuVall homering off of Jeff McNeil’s dog (cutout), Daniel Bard’s first MLB win after 2,646 days, ESPN making Patti dislike Buck and Smoltz less, runner on 2B rule, and what number is Eovaldi, anyway? There are baby steps in the world of racist team names. The Grooming segment is back. We bring you facial hair situations with Kimbrell and Kiké, flow with Gingergard Dustin May, and shoe game with Michael Lorenzen.

Holy Cow! Women in Baseball Week Interview with Kat Williams

Voxtopica — Wed, 22 Jul 2020 12:00:00 -0400

We celebrate the 4th annual Women in Baseball Week by talking to Dr. Kat Williams about her new book, Isabel “Lefty” Alvarez: The Improbable Life of a Cuban-American Baseball Star. Kat is a professor of American history at Marshall University, board president of the International Women’s Baseball Center, and author of The All-American Girls after the AAGPBL: How Playing Pro Ball Shaped Their Lives.

We examine what it means to view a life through the lens of sports identity. Through Kat’s telling of Lefty’s story, we learn the importance of baseball to Cuban history, and to a young girl growing up in the revolution. We travel with Lefty, barely a teenager at the time, as she plays ball with other women and girls across Latin America. We discuss the importance of having that one place where you feel safe and strong and everything is okay, and knowing that if everything is okay there, maybe it can be okay in other places too.

Kat tells us of the founding of the International Women’s Baseball Center over pizza and beer, and her dreams of young girls visiting the Center and understanding that they are ballplayers in a long, rich history of women ballplayers. She encourages us, one and all, to become part of that community too. Patti and the Pottymouth can’t wait until travel is again encouraged, so pizza and beer can be had with Kat and others from the IWBC, punctuated with an occasional “Holy f%*ng Cow!

Kat Williams can be found on Twitter at @tellagirlshecan and @drk1943, and on Facebook at tellagirlshecan.org. Learn more about the International Women’s Baseball Center http://www.internationalwomensbaseballcenter.org/ Get your copy of Isabel “Lefty” Alvarez: The Improbable Life of a Cuban-American Baseball Star!

A Place that Was Safe, Where I Knew I Was Strong: Women in Baseball Week, with Kat Williams

Voxtopica — Tue, 21 Jul 2020 12:00:00 -0400

We celebrate the 4th annual Women in Baseball Week by talking to Dr. Kat Williams about her new book, Isabel “Lefty” Alvarez: The Improbable Life of a Cuban-American Baseball Star. We examine what it means to view a life through the lens of sports identity, and celebrate the work of the International Women’s Baseball Center, where Kat is Board president. (The full interview with Kat will be released as a separate episode)

MLB’s testing results are markedly better this week, both in number and in process. Several players are finally getting cleared to train, just days before Opening Day. Among them, asymptomatic DJ LeMahieu with his rollercoaster of a testing experience, Victor Robles after the doomed plane from the DR, Anthony Santander recovering from mild symptoms, and Freddie Freeman coming all the way back from what he thought was near-death. Yasiel Puig is a responsible adult, and we hold out hope that he could still be an Oriole. And Pottymouth points out that if Didi Gregorious can hit a three-run homer off of Max Scherzer while wearing a mask, you can damn well put on one to go grocery shopping.

Can Dansby Swanson and Mallory Pugh both be our baseball boyfriend? Their Dansby vs. Mal Sweepstakes to benefit Good Sports, Inc. is straight-up adorable. Umpires are our Opt-out of the week. Patti may or may not be singing about Canada turning down the Blue Jays request to play home games at Rogers Centre. Are they Buffalo-bound? The Nationals compromise with the District to bring their health protocols in agreement and cementing Nats Park as home field. Dodger Stadium may be a question with a coronavirus spike in southern California. How ‘bout that Joey Bart kid?

Pottymouth demystifies CPBL playoffs, with the help of friend of the show Daniel Shih, and tries to hook us on Korean Baseball … movies?

Save the Spit for the Test

Voxtopica — Tue, 14 Jul 2020 12:00:00 -0400

The only spitting currently allowed in the MLB is into vials for mandatory testing. Pottymouth’s musings about the total volume of saliva this collects on a daily basis aside, the testing protocols are failing in a number of ways. Intake testing wasn’t actually completed until a week after the league announced the results, and an additional 17 positive tests came from the first round of monitor tests *after* players and staff completed intake and were approved to enter training facilities.

MLB chartered planes to bring Dominican players back to the US, without testing them first, and sent those players off to their teams in 30 cities. The Cardinals and Cubs delayed additional practices because test results were not delivered on time. The Astros cancelled practice and closed their park for cleaning when a staff member reported contact with someone who tested positive outside the team. Cam Gallagher, catcher for the Royals, tested positive after catching an intersquad game -- the third Royal catcher to go on the IL. The Utah testing facility is catching a lot of heat for delays and the type of test in use, leading to an additional lab, this one at Rutgers, to address the quantity issue. Joey Gallo saw his two positive saliva tests and raised them two negative nasal swab tests from a private lab.

Canada approved the plan for the Rogers Centre bubble for the Blue Jays, to live in the adjoining Marriott and not enter the outside world except to travel to games in the US. Travis Shaw is among the players that just don’t see how this is possible. Franmil Reyes posted publicly about attending a July 4th party, maskless, and has to sit out until a negative test comes back, and apologized in all the right ways. Fernando Tatis, Jr. is a mask ambassador. Mike Trout, another mask hero, models boyfriend traits turning a family tragedy into suicide awareness. Joining the heroes is opt-out of the week, Buster Posey, who is now the proud father of adopted twin girls, born prematurely and still in the NICU. Decidedly not a hero, and surprising no one, umpire Joe West turned down MLB’s offer to pay him to sit out the season as he is seen as high risk at 67. Cowboy Joe is closing in on the record for regular season games called, and thinks the pandemic is not all that, so will be looming over the heads of catchers everywhere when the season starts. The umpires union separated itself from his remarks swiftly and decisively.

The paramedic on duty who was seriously injured when hit by a Brantley foul ball in the Astros dugout last October is suing the team, saying that lack of netting over that part of the dugout was to help the team steal signs. Can the Astros please just give him a great big check because it is the right thing to do, and spare the grasping at straws that is this shaky lawsuit? The plan for piped-in crowd noise gives former BF for life Anthony Rendon the opportunity to say “...smelling a pizza but...looking at a hamburger.” Patti and the Pottymouth would please like the Os to sign Yasiel Puig and the Nats to take back Brian Dozier. Thank you.

Over in the CPBL, the Monkeys are trying to climb back against the Brothers to win the first half of the season. The KBO saw its first tie game, where the game is called at the end of 12 tied innings. Pottymouth gets Patti a present to support the Women’s National Baseball teams “I’ve Got Your Back” fundraiser for seriously injured veteran player Shelby Estocado. You should buy a pig jersey from the Pulaski Yankees.

Win an Unforgettaball! Send an email to info@unforgettaballs.com putting No Crying in Baseball in the subject line. If you also add “heard it on the show” in the body of the message, you’ll get a second entry. Once 50 entries are received, one will be randomly selected to win the baseball of their choice from Unforgettaballs.com

“Sports Are the Reward of a Functioning Society”

Voxtopica — Tue, 07 Jul 2020 12:00:00 -0400

Instead, we have the sh*#show that is an MLB testing protocol that could not factor in the 4th of July holiday. The As, Cards, Nats, and others cancelled workouts because test results had not arrived. In the case of the As, the tests themselves were still sitting at the outgoing airport. Angels and Yankees players had to administer their own swab tests as the testing staff were no-shows. Sean Doolittle, patron saint of the show, provides the quote of the season as well as the news that PPE promised to teams has not arrived, at least in the case of the Nationals. Patti recommends the Jayson Stark piece in The Athletic (behind paywall) that asks the right questions about how and when teams and the season get shut down.

MLB promises to keep the names of players testing positive confidential, unless the players give permission, but as soon as a name is added to the IL without a reason disclosed, assumptions are made and discussed. Freddie Freeman’s wife performed a public service by sharing the seriousness of his condition as someone with the disease (who tested negative only days before). This led to teammate Nick Markakis joining other high-profile players already choosing to opt out of the season. Nick, David Price, and others who are not high-risk but choose to opt out are losing salary and service time for the year. Pottymouth points out that focusing instead on the $5.7million that Price sitting out saves the Red Sox is just a bad take and there’s no place for that.

The Minor League Baseball season was cancelled, leaving hundreds of young players high and dry. Betsy Haugh, GM of the Pulaski Yankees, returns to the show to talk about what that means for local communities that depend on their MiLB teams for summer entertainment and also employment. Her elevator speech on the importance of these teams should be the closing argument in any discussion about contraction. There is also a brief discussion of pig jerseys, which Patti and the Pottymouth absolutely require.

The Cleveland Baseball Team announces it is considering a name change, and Terry Francona demonstrates how to respectfully and publicly admit that a long-held opinion has changed with the times and more information. Patti respectfully and publicly reiterates her vote for “Cleveland Rocks” but admits the “Spiders” allows for great mascot possibilities. The Atlanta Baseball Team does worse than remaining silent, but actually states it is not considering a name change at this time.

The CPBL salutes America on July 4th, but leaves the exchange student mascot out of the Mascot Race. Jose Quintana sliced a nerve in his thumb while washing dishes and can be identified as such on the IL. Normalcy! The As may be the coolest team in baseball right now as they allow fans to pay for cardboard cutouts of themselves to be in the fan-free Coliseum, proceeds to charity, and also consider drive-in movie style baseball in their parking lot.

What Do We Do With the COVIDiots?

Voxtopica — Tue, 30 Jun 2020 12:00:00 -0400

Here comes MLB, unless it doesn’t. We catch you up on what the shortened season schedule may look like, how the rosters will work (until they don’t), the new game rules, and the protocols that work until players leave the facility and are left to their own best judgements. Or in the case of Texas, the shaky judgement of the Rangers front office and the Governor.

Pottymouth gets international attention for baseball boyfriends during breakfast baseball with the CPBL. The Lions score 21 runs for our pal Daniel Shih’s 21st birthday. Intrigue and disruption in the ranks plague the Guardians. The KBO is set to welcome fans back into the ballpark, but won’t allow cheering. Lots of old MLB friends, including Baby Shark, are making their mark in Japan.

This week in crosstraining, the Scrap Yard Dogs professional softball team walks out after their general manager misrepresented them to the President, no less, with references to “respecting the flag” and “all lives matter” under the team banner. The entire team walked out and formed their own team, This Is Us, with awareness, empowerment, and unity as their purpose. Women’s professional soccer becomes the first US professional league to return to action. The players wore Black Lives Matter shirts and armbands, many knelt for the anthem, all of which got press coverage, but/and who won the games? No one is covering the sports part of women’s sports.

Ding dong the witch is dead. The University of Cincinnati’s board of directors voted unanimously to remove Marge Schott’s name from its ballpark and library. And Ohio girl Patti couldn’t be prouder.

Back Around to March, Pirate Booty, Heroes, and Addison Frickin’ Russell

Voxtopica — Tue, 23 Jun 2020 12:00:00 -0400

After all that back and forth, looks like the MLB plan agreed upon in March is moving forward. The MLBPA held their ground, and now it’s a matter of health protocols. The COVID-19 outbreak affecting at least 40 players and staff has shut down facilities in Arizona and Florida, and raised many more questions. Some independent leagues plan to start up with much less fuss, so you may get some local baseball after all.

Addison Frickin’ Russell gets picked up by the KBO Heroes and we are given another opportunity to point out the problems with press coverage of domestic abusers. We learned that the Heroes are not so Heroic themselves, so that landing spot maybe isn’t such a surprise.

MLB players and executives continue to step up to integrate the lessons of Black Lives Matter into daily life and not just a moment.

The CPBL standings tighten up some more, and Pottymouth’s KBO team, the Dinos, gets some love from 538.

Patti’s former BF Nelson Cruz wins the Muhammed Ali Sports Humanitarian ESPY award and shows the world what a good man looks like. Pottymouth’s former Angel BF Albert Pujols steps up to cover salaries for furloughed players and staff in the Dominican Republic for five months. We aren’t sure what’s up with Big Papi. And A-Rod and J-Lo bring on a Vitamin Water, Horseman, Pirate Booty billionaire to their Mets bid.

100% of Not Enough

Voxtopica — Tue, 16 Jun 2020 12:00:00 -0400

The sh*t hits the fan as MLBPA calls MLB’s “we are 100% going to have a season this year” bluff and says they are ready to play just tell us where and when. The League instead counters with a requirement that players waive their rights to legal claims against them. With all the instances of bad faith on the part of the owners, the remaining question is will Rob Manfred resign or be asked to leave? Meanwhile, Florida is bursting with sports bubbles, hosting the NBA, the MLS, and the WNBA as they start seasons later this summer. The WNBA players, as an example of how professional sports might work in a pandemic, are receiving their full salaries while playing a shortened season. So noted that they already aren’t being paid what they are worth, but the point is there.

Meanwhile, players, team executives, the League, and associated businesses take steps both big and small to address systemic racism in MLB and in their own lives. The Red Sox acknowledge racist incidents at games, call out the fans responsible, and vow to do better. Directors of Baseball Operations for all 30 teams seize the attention of the draft to express a message of “Black Lives Matter. United for Change.” The words are backed up by $1 million in donations to organizations working to end racial injustice, and by commitments to address recruiting and hiring practices. Even those teams like Cleveland with “complicated” histories with race. We muse that perhaps Atlanta fans might lose upper body strength with this extra time off, rendering that f*%king chop impossible. More players examine their own lives and publicly move to make change, like Collin McHugh looking at who has been on his podcast and more importantly, who has not. Louisville Slugger “recognizes the symbolism of nightsticks” and ends production of commemorative versions for the Louisville Metro Police Foundation. A coalition of 1,400 current and retired athletes, coaches, general managers, staff members of NFL, NBA, MLB sign on to a letter to Congress supporting the Amash-Pressley bill to end qualified immunity, which makes it difficult to sue police officers for brutality. Many of our boyfriends, including some cross-training BFs (Hi, Baker!), are included.

Alex Cora speaks up at long last and accepts his responsibility for the Astros cheating scandal, but makes it clear they were all responsible. Everyone in the organization during that time period. In related scandal news, we all look to the shiny thing that is a letter from Rob Manfred to the Yankees from the 2017 investigation into their sign-stealing. At the time, they were fined, but the details were kept under wraps. Now a judge says this letter must be made public and the team is pushing back hard. Bring on the popcorn.

In the CPBL, the standings tighten and the stands fill to 50% capacity with a system for contact tracing in place. Professional baseball will start soon in both Japan and Australia. One day we will be able to have nice things again too.

The Cat Has Meaning

Voxtopica — Tue, 09 Jun 2020 12:00:00 -0400

The world is still on fire and we acknowledge that by discussing how the world of sports is responding. Joey Votto shares a journey, Drew Brees gets a very public education and stands by it, Roger Goodell says some of the right things, albeit a few years too late, and there’s a campaign to remove Marge Schott’s name from the facilities at the University of Cincinnati. Adam Jones demonstrates in Japan. Lorenzo Cain, Josh Bell, and others talk police accountability with the president of the Negro Leagues Museum. Charlotte Knights AAA and the Carolina Panthers, among others, cut ties to their security company over racist remarks.

The MLB Draft begins on Wednesday and we ponder what happens to prospects in a year with no minor league ball. The As and the Nationals respond to public embarrassment with the As now continuing to pay their minor league players and the Nats reversing course on a pay cut for them after the players publicly promise to make up the difference themselves. MLB submits a new proposal for a shortened baseball season, countering the union’s 114 game proposal with a 76 game plan, and salary math gets way too hard. Good thing Scott Boras has his own economist.

Women’s World Cup Baseball is on the schedule for November in Tijuana. Anyone taking bets on if it will happen? KBO player of the month Koo Chang-mo of Pottymouth’s Dinos has an ERA of 0.54. The CPBL marches on with fans in the stands and Patti’s BF Dimple Cannon hitting the league’s 10,000th HR. UniLions fish head mascot Sababoy celebrates his birthday on the 13th with milkfish popsicles for everyone. Why is there a cat on the wrapper? In a moment of bravado, Patti agrees to try one, “on the air.” Pottymouth is currently calling every Asian market in the greater DC area. Stay tuned.

Everything is a Sh**show Right Now

Voxtopica — Wed, 03 Jun 2020 12:00:00 -0400

The world is burning and we intend to “stick to sports” the way we always do, in the context of social justice. Andrew McCutcheon (“I don’t want pity. I want justice.”), Dexter Fowler, Marcus Stroman, Lucas Giolito, NCiB Patron Saint Sean Doolittle and other players make their voices heard. We talk with Bobby Coon of the “Pulling Tarp” podcast about the present and the future of the Minor Leagues: players being cut loose, players being paid or not depending on the team and access to David Price, contraction, and a better way to run the whole thing if Bobby were in charge. MLB’s plan to drive a wedge between highly paid players and league-minimum guys in the latest let’s put on a season plan backfires, as players stand united and say, “show us the books.” While the CPBL looks to open up their ballparks at 100%, the Korean Baseball Organization has to slow down its plan to bring fans in at 30% capacity as South Korea’s coronavirus case numbers are back on the rise.

Brian Dozier is Why We Can’t Have Nice Things

Voxtopica — Tue, 26 May 2020 12:00:00 -0400

Don’t get us wrong, we here at NCiB love us some Brian Dozier, and the community building he is doing in his neighborhood would be drink-worthy adorable if it wasn’t in the middle of a frickin’ pandemic. But it is, and it’s a great example of why a shortened MLB season outside of a BioBubble is way too risky. Plans are moving forward, with the players’ union responding to the health and safety protocol proposal, Governors weighing in on letting baseball happen under strict guidelines (and sneaking in a dig at the DH), and MLB scheduled to present their plan for the season to the union imminently. Right, and Homeland Security is allowing foreign athletes back into the US because “Americans need their sports.”

Almost a week of breakfast baseball rainouts in Taiwan made us a little grumpy, but hey did you hear that the CPBL tested their baseballs MID-SEASON, and is correcting for the juiciness? Our cross-training segment gets Pottymouth from Little League to sex dolls in about ten words. Turns out some of those mannequins in the fan-free stands at Korean soccer matches are actually sex dolls advertising an adult toy manufacturer. In Nicaragua, the tragic I Told You So.

The Angels are devils when it comes to paying non-player staff. The owner is worth more than $3 Billion, but they are implementing the most aggressive furloughs in the league, gutting their scouting department. Most teams have found middle ground with some pay cuts or minor furloughs, but the Blue Jays take the crown. With the help of emergency funding from the Canadian government, they are guaranteeing salaries for 500 staff until October. In the minor leagues, some teams are offering concession stand dinner pick-up in order to keep staff on payroll.

Patti asks to claim Les “The Beer Guy” Flake from her hometown of Cleveland as her concessions boyfriend, after learning about his partnership with “Cold Beer Here,” delivering craft beer to fans homes with the proceeds going to the Cleveland Food Bank. Her regulation boyfriend Nelson Cruz was nominated for the Muhammed Ali Sports Humanitarian Award, for his more traditional philanthropy.

Lastly, we have a lovely conversation with Emily Wolfson. Emily is an architect, artist, and founder of Unforgettaballs, “painted baseballs with meaning and style.” Emily’s work celebrates the essence of historic ballparks, players, events, and even baseball movies. You can find Unforgettaballs at https://unforgettaballs.com/ and listen to the show for a coupon code to save 10%.

Jose Canseco is our Muse

Voxtopica — Tue, 19 May 2020 12:00:00 -0400

You should watch the finals of the First Annual Bump Bailey Wax Pack Hero Tournament of Awesome. No reason, other than Patti, Pottymouth, Jose Canseco, and a Golden Pickle.

67 pages of MLB’s proposed health protocols later, we are sure that spitting and showers are discouraged, but still don’t know what will happen if multiple players test positive for COVID-19. We think it is good news that the testing plan is designed to result in a surplus of tests to be provided to health care workers in MLB cities, and processed for free. We appreciate the consistency of owners trying to spin players into bad guys, and A-Rod remaining an asshole. This may be the part of the discussion where we determined Pottymouth’s facemask should ideally contain a vulgarity filter.

Over in the KBO, Pottymouth’s favorite Dinos rock a commanding first place record, and a mascot named Swole Daddy. Patti’s Monkeys lead the CPBL, where games are played in front of 2000 fans. We learned that the CPBL sets aside a week for make up games, which sounded like a great idea until we realized rain-outs would get made up during the monsoon season break. Sadly, the World Baseball Classic has been cancelled, because the qualifying rounds won’t be played in time.

Eloy Jimenez shows some love for a tiny bridal shop in the Little Village neighborhood of Chicago, where instead of prom finery, staff have sewn and donated 17,000 masks. Meanwhile, Brandon Nimmo and David Wright hope to inspire one million New Yorkers to each donate $10 to support that city’s poorest residents. Patrick Corbin and Matt Barnes are turning Call of Duty into a fundraiser where bidders hope to earn their way onto teams with the likes of Juan Soto and Pete Alonzo.

For those missing fake baseball, MLB’s Dream Bracket 2.0 starts this week. Patti and the Pottymouth were interviewed for the Baseball is my Muse blog, which is a fun read.

Mother’s Day, Mimosas, and Monsoons

Voxtopica — Tue, 12 May 2020 12:00:00 -0400

Patti and the Pottymouth get a little weepy over Mother’s Day. Pottymouth over the CPBL mascot-themed card drawn by her artist daughter, and Patti for clean gutters, many mimosas, and Adley Rutschman.

We start with laying out the rumored plan for bringing back MLB, and poke it full of holes like a biobubble over a spring training facility. We wave some flags about the presumed demise of the minor leagues, and go just the way you would think about owners wanting to cut player salaries even more.

Moving on the our current love, the CPBL, we discuss how Taiwan has earned getting baseball back, and as of this week, players in the stands (under very strict guidelines). Monkeys continue to rule, but the Lions remain within reach. The mascots continue to show us their dance moves and their public health messages, and from commentators we’ve learned about the monsoon season break, nicknames like Dimple Cannon and Hollywood, and the fact that demands followup -- cheerleaders can be traded.

The KBO hasn’t grabbed us yet, and that sits squarely on the shoulders of ESPN. We prefer our commentators in the park and of the community, thank you very much. But ESPN did give us the gift of Eric Thames during the Opening Day rain delay, and the Trevor Bauer phone number debacle which @BauerOutage played perfectly. Pottymouth’s Dinos look great, Patti’s Wyverns can see them from a distance.

For the second and final rant of the episode, we review the probable repercussions of reducing the MLB draft from 40 to only 5 rounds. We told you. We warned you, Don’t look so shocked. It’s not a good time to be a young ballplayer, especially without independent means. The Turn a Pair podcast did excellent work showing what players we would have missed had there only been five rounds in their draft years

Boyfriends continue to do boyfriend things, donating money, food, equipment, and getting their pro athlete friends to do the same.

KBO and IPAs

Voxtopica — Tue, 05 May 2020 12:00:00 -0400

Fueled by Isolation Pale Ale brewed by Mr. Pottymouth, your hosts learn about Korean baseball from Jeeho Yoo, KBO reporter for Yonhap News Agency in Seoul. Jeeho shares his take on the culture of baseball in South Korea, the plan for keeping players, media, and staff safe and healthy, and just a few digs on the Orioles. Much as we like the sound of watching KBO, we are not giving up our new dedication to #breakfastbaseball with the CPBL. It turns out Patti and the Pottymouth are good at this Dream Bracket thing, accurately predicting that the Reds and Yankees would make the finals. Blake Snell is the champion of Fake Baseball, and Patti still doesn’t care. The umpires union negotiates pay in this uncertain season, and a voice in planning MLB’s return. And we spend a hot minute on some of the options being offered as ways we may see major league ball this summer. We add our best wishes to those of Governor Larry Hogan of Maryland, and Trey Mancini’s teammates from the Orioles, as he recovers from cancer treatment.

A Suitcase Full of Monkey Swag

Voxtopica — Tue, 28 Apr 2020 12:00:00 -0400

Or Lion swag, if you’re Pottymouth. NCiB talks Taiwanese baseball with Daniel Shih, sports director at @tstvsports and host of “Rants With Danny Shih.” The CPBL is the only live baseball happening worldwide, and as such is simultaneously playing to empty ballparks and thousands of international Twitter followers. We talk teams (Patti and Danny back the Rakuten Monkeys, and Pottymouth is a Uni Lion for Life), the culture and history of baseball in Taiwan, and how to get Monkey and Lion merch to NCiB hosts. You can reach Danny on twitter @daniel_shih88

The Commissioner’s report on the sign-stealing investigation of the Boston Red Sox is released to a great deal of suspicion. How is the front office off the hook? Did Manfred read his own report? Even Pottymouth, third generation Red Sox fan, thinks something is fishy here.

Pottymouth reports back on the standings in the various fake baseball tournaments, after bravely trying to watch a Dream Bracket simulation. We’ll stick to 7am CPBL games, thank you very much. Over in actual postponed baseball land, the Cape Cod League already called its summer season, and the Cal Ripken League postponed to at least July, with a final decision coming in June. The pandemic is causing such an economic hit to the minors that MiLB is no longer contesting the contraction of the league and is working with MLB to design a 120 team full-season program.

In this week’s cross-training segment, the NBA plans to open its team training facilities in those states with little regard for public health, starting May 1. Because that keeps the players safer than getting on planes to work out in public gyms in Georgia.

Stay home, wash your hands, wear your masks, and stay safe. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Monkeys and Wyverns and Dinos. Oh, My.

Voxtopica — Tue, 21 Apr 2020 12:00:00 -0400

10,000 employees of Major League Baseball, from players and front office staff to ushers and your friends that sell you your ballpark beer, have volunteered to participate in a Coronavirus Antibodies study that may help shape public policy. The study is not designed to bring baseball back any faster, but it will paint a picture of the spread of the virus across locations, economic status, race, and medical histories. Anthony Fauci, America’s favorite doctor, came out as pro-BioBubble in an interview last week. But it was on SnapChat so we’re not sure we believe it. The truncated MLB draft, and the shortened (or nonexistent) season, has a ripple effect on opportunities for college players and young prospects. It’s a mess.

Bartolo Colon had an anniversary, and we’ll take any opportunity to talk about Big Sexy. Pete Alonso made an appearance in a Jericho, NY HS geometry class (Zoom, of course), and we’ll take every opportunity to talk about him too.

There are two kinds of baseball fans in the world. The kind that love everything about watching MLB players compete against each other in MLB The Show, and Patti. More fake baseball starts this week as The Draft Kings and Out of the Park Sports Simulations stages a “what if” tournament pitting the greatest players of all time against each other in a “Dream Bracket.”

Actual real baseball played by humans in fan-free ballparks is happening in Taiwan, and if you like baseball with your morning coffee you can watch the four team CPBL tournament via Twitter. The Rakuten Monkeys have an English language feed so have quickly become a US favorite, allowing thousands of new fans to wonder why some people in the ballpark wear masks and use elbow bumps, other go mask-free and high-five, and no one hesitated to get into the scrum during a bench-clearing kerfuffle. More options available soon, as Korean baseball starts this week, also without fans in seats. Your hosts are hoping for a Wyvern vs. Dino smackdown.

Scorekeeping with Blake: The Reckoning

Voxtopica — Tue, 14 Apr 2020 12:00:00 -0400

In the final installment of our score keeping trilogy, Blake grades Patti and Pottymouth’s homework (totally on a curve), and answers the hard questions -- many of which could be solved by larger squares in which to note plays. If you haven’t done your homework yet, get your scorecard and score the September 3, 2019 Nats vs Mets game. See if you have the same questions!

In the post-apocalyptic world, baseball is played in an Arizona-based BioBubble, and basketball in Vegas. What could possibly go wrong? Many, many things. Ask the Nippon Professional Baseball League. Surprising no one, even in this fantasy world, the Minor Leagues still get the shaft. The President met with commissioners of 13 professional sports leagues and associations (dare you to name them all), and painted a rosy picture of sports getting back to normal, which few believe. Safe versions of baseball are happening on Twitch, where actual MLB players are facing off on MLB The Show. The Chinese Professional Baseball League is playing now, in empty stadiums. Based on careful analysis of their team animal names, Pottymouth is throwing in behind the Lions and Patti says, sure, I’ll root for the Monkeys.

The pandemic baseball bright spot is NCiB’s favorite chef, Jose Andres, whose World Central Kitchen has partnered with Nationals Philanthropies to use the vast kitchens at Nats Park to produce thousands of meals for the needy, every day.

Do your homework, wash your hands, wear your masks, and stay safe. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

That Juan Soto Run-down, Though

Voxtopica — Tue, 07 Apr 2020 12:00:00 -0400

Pencils and scorecards are ready for Part 2 of “Scorekeeping with Blake.” Our brave teacher leads us through basic scoring notations and setting up our scorecards, and suddenly we are re-living the Nats/Brewers Wildcard game. It takes so much longer to score that Juan Soto run-down in the 8th than it does to watch it happen. Blake assigns us homework of scoring the September 3rd Nats vs. Mets game, to be graded on the next episode.

After a brief Sports Movie Review conversation in which Pottymouth name-checks Psycho, and Patti defends quiz shows as a sport, we go back to actual baseball. The Harpers, the Murphys, the Upton-Verlanders, and Steven Matz are all using their paychecks for good in the community in these tough times, and Shin-soo Choo is personally augmenting the MLB allowance of the minor leaguers in the Rangers system. AJ Hinch and Jeff Luhnow may finish their suspensions with not a single game being played in the interim, or they may be suspended to infinity, depending on how you define “end of the 2020 World Series.”

There’s Beer and People are Nice

Voxtopica — Tue, 31 Mar 2020 12:00:00 -0400

Patti and the Pottymouth are excited to start a new segment today: Scorekeeping with Blake. Dedicated scorekeeper Blake has been with us in Section 408 of Nats Park for two years, alerting us to immaculate innings, impending no-nos, and catching us up on what we missed on that last beer run. In this episode, Blake gives us some history on the art of keeping book, some context for why fans do it, and why the official scorekeeper wields a lot of power. Next week we will have a lesson on the mechanics of scorekeeping, but in spite of Patt’s assertions that mechanical pencils are therefore the right way to go, apparently one can get by with just a pen. Before next week’s show, pull out that old scorebook or grab this vertical scorecard.

MLB and the player’s union came to an agreement on salaries, service time, the draft, and how a shortened season may look this year. We break it down for you and play out potential repercussions for high school and college players, through the minors.

The Commish reports on the Fantasy Baseball Boyfriend League, and how the color commentary on draft rosters (and beer) keeps her going while trying to enforce the Boyfriend Rules from Hell. Pottymouth already had to call in Stephen Matz as a substitute for Thor. Hard to believe she could find the time what with all the sportsing with frisbees and push-ups

After you get your scorecard and mechanical pencil, or lesser writing implement, find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Interview with Jeremy Wolf, CEO, More Than Baseball

Voxtopica — Thu, 26 Mar 2020 14:00:00 -0400

On the day the Save America’s Pastime Act passed, allowing teams to pay minor league players below minimum wage, More Than Baseball was born. Former players Jeremy Wolf and Slade Heathcott, along with current player Simon Rosenblum-Larson, created an organization to make sure minor leaguers have what they need to succeed.

At the meta level, their job is to make people love baseball by helping communities see the value the players on their minor league team bring to them. At a basic level, More Than Baseball wants to ensure players have adequate food and housing, so they can play at the best of their ability right now, plus higher education opportunities and financial and career counseling for life after baseball. Right now, with paychecks on hold because of the season delay, More Than Baseball is reimbursing $75 worth of groceries to players sending them photos of receipts. They have helped international players afford cabs home from the airport. This is the dire state of Minor League pay.

Please enjoy Pottymouth’s conversation with Jeremy Wolf, who can be reached on Twitter or Instagram @mtb_org, by email at jeremy@morethanbaseball.org. Help them help baseball, if you can.

The One Where Patti #stayedthef*ckhome

Voxtopica — Tue, 24 Mar 2020 12:00:00 -0400

Even a Beermobile delivery is not enough to make up for Patti and Pottymouth not being in the same room, but nevertheless, we persisted. We celebrated the new addition to the Pottymouth family, Eris Israel Filpo. Through Adopt a Minor Leaguer, the Pottymouths have pledged to help out Eris, a player in the Rangers organization, currently at home in the Dominican Republic. Did you hear that there is baseball medical news that is not pandemic related? Chris Sale to have Tommy John surgery and Aaron Judge just now told us about that pesky collapsed lung.

COVID-19 is spreading through professional sports, but so far its baseball reach is limited to the Yankees minor league system, keeping 150 players quarantined together. MLB has promised to pay minor leaguers their spring training allowances, but has not yet indicated what will happen to their wages for the delayed season. Each team has ponied up $1million to care for its stadium workers.

Marcus Stroman has an NCiB Boyfriend-filled recruitment plan for the World Baseball Classic.

We announce our starting lineups for our Fantasy Boyfriend Baseball League, drawn from the guys we have profiled over the past several months, and invite you to join us. Clearly there is plenty of time to draft your team before the season begins. Contact us via social media if you want to play rotisserie fantasy ball, following our boyfriend rules for players. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

An Abundance of Caution

Voxtopica — Tue, 17 Mar 2020 12:00:00 -0400

Patti and the Pottymouth and their socially-distanced Smart Baseball Brains bring you the baseball state of the pandemic. The eight week delay, minimum, to the start of the season has clear implications for fans, but what does it mean for paychecks for major and minor league players, umpires, and hourly facilities workers? How does it affect service time and dates for incentives and bonuses? The NBA and NHL are modelling good league-level behavior and it is time for Baseball to step up too. Players are picking up some slack, with Redemption Tour Astros donating money and food kits, Trevor Bauer staging a Sandlot wiffle ball game to bring attention to a Go Fund Me for stadium workers, and Pete Alonso putting things in perspective. Keep your baseball muscles loose by watching baseball movies and historic games. That’s how we’re doing it.

Even though the season delay pushes back our Fantasy League, we forge ahead and choose our pitching squads. Marcus “Height Doesn’t Measure Heart” Stroman puts Pottymouth over the hump to selecting the Mets, and shirtless Thor and Quarterican Seth Lugo warrant a mention. By some crazy twist of rules, Patti gets to keep the Nationals pitchers, so spends a moment on Daniel Hudson and his unbelievable 2019 reversal of fortune from being cut by the Angels in Spring Training to closing Game 7 of the World Series. Joe Ross is competing to be the fifth starter, building on his surprise Game 5 WS momentum. Will Harris gets the nod, even after pitching on the 2017 Astros, because Sean Doolittle says he’s okay with it.

NCiB sends its heartfelt wishes for a full recovery to Baltimore’s Trey Mancini, who in the midst of all of this upheaval had surgery for a tumor on his colon.

It’s time for NCiB’s Fantasy Boyfriend Baseball League! Contact us via social media if you want to play rotisserie fantasy ball, following our boyfriend rules for players. The draft begins immediately after Patti and the Pottymouth release their starting lineups on the March 21st episode. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Where the F*ck is Toro?

Voxtopica — Tue, 10 Mar 2020 12:00:00 -0400

Stop touching your face. It would be irresponsible not to discuss the intersection of the coronavirus and baseball, so we do. Games have not yet been affected, but some teams are requiring players at Spring Training to pre-sign baseballs and cards under controlled conditions in the clubhouse, to be distributed to fans, rather than sharing pens and passing objects back and forth. Clean club houses and chartered planes will protect young, healthy players, but good luck finding 6’ of space between fans on Opening Day. As a public service we share CDC information about how facial hair affects one’s ability to safely wear a respirator. Hint: The Yankees, like cockroaches, will live on, while Dallas Keuchel and Justin Turner will have to adapt to survive.

Patti may already be down one starting-lineup boyfriend as Oscar Mercado is day-to-day. But forever boyfriend Christian Yelich is now a Brewer for Life, still an excellent chugger of beer, and needs to work on his free throws. Pottymouth ex Yoan Moncada extends with the White Sox, and NCiB favorite Collin McHugh goes to the Red Sox and lets loose with the remorse. Any day where we can talk Big Sexy Bartolo Colon is a good day.

After some soul-searching, Patti and the Pottymouth go ahead with Houston Asterisk boyfriends, but limit themselves to guys who did not play on the 2017 team. Patti selects Abraham Toro, he of the three languages and hero of the Verlander no-no. Pottymouth introduces Jeremy Joan Peña, who is so distanced from he scandal he may not even get to the show this year. The Angels loss is Patti’s gain as Joc Pederson stays a Dodger and makes Patti’s list. Pottymouth doth protest too much with her Max Muncy pick, but she can go get that out of the ocean.

It’s time for NCiB’s Fantasy Boyfriend Baseball League! Contact us via social media if you want to play rotisserie fantasy ball, following our boyfriend rules for players. The draft begins immediately after Patti and the Pottymouth release their starting lineups on the March 17th episode. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Minor League Matchmaking, Now With Bonus Chihuahuas

Voxtopica — Tue, 03 Mar 2020 12:00:00 -0500

In one month, Michael Rivers matched up dozens of financially-struggling minor league ballplayers with individuals willing and able to commit to a seasons’ worth of care packages and gift cards, and he’s still going strong. In this episode, we talk with Michael about how “Adopt a MiLB Player” began and how fans of the game can help out until MLB fixes its labor policies. Our boyfriends this week include a couple of Baby Bombers, Gleybor Torres and Miguel Andújar of the Yankees. After a you-knew-it-was-coming Tomahawk Chop rant, Pottymouth tells you about Atlanta SS Dansby Swanson, why it is perfectly acceptable to choose a Baseball BF based on his girlfriend, and we learn an important lesson about Jane Austen vs. frozen dinners. Patti tells the origin story of BF Adeiny Hechavarria, and connects the dots between this week’s picks. The wagging finger of Joe Torre is not all that effective at policy enforcement. MLB makes some long-awaited diversity news in the upper ranks of umpires. Baseball Prospectus uses their powers for good.

It’s time for NCiB’s Fantasy Boyfriend Baseball League! Contact us via social media if you want to play rotisserie fantasy ball, following our boyfriend rules for players. The draft begins immediately after Patti and the Pottymouth release their starting lineups on the March 17th episode. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Eric Thames Arms

Voxtopica — Tue, 25 Feb 2020 12:00:00 -0500

Tangents this week include Eric Thames’ arms, O. Henry, and Ironman’s math skills, which it turns out are better than Patti’s. Spring Training games have started yet there is still Astros scandal detritus to clean up, so much so that Rob Manfred doesn’t have time to tell Atlanta, “Stop using the Tomahawk Chop.” Twins boyfriends include Cheech and Chong cosplayers/contact hitters Luis Arraez and Willians “La Tortuga” Astudillo. Closer to home, Pottymouth hangs on to future MVP Juan Soto as her carryover boyfriend from last season. Although distracted by Eric Thames’ arms, Patti pins her Nats boyfriend hopes on Carter Kieboom. We do a quick MLB photo day review, including Eric Thames arms, and explain the new season’s rule changes which you can see in Spring Training games happening NOW.

Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

BONUS: Coach Whitey

Voxtopica — Thu, 20 Feb 2020 12:00:00 -0500

Andrew Whitener is the head strength and conditioning coach at DC Dynasty, and owner of District Performance. Coach Whitey talks with Patti and the Pottymouth about the best hour of his week, the time spent training a group of players from DC Girls Baseball. He works with the girls on specific baseball conditioning and gives them the tools for lifelong health and fitness. The girls give him a different perspective on what it means to be a baseball player.

The conversation touches on the importance of good coaching, inclusivity, access, and an environment that encourages love of baseball, all things at which DCGB excels. There is a brief tangent about getting married during the NLCS, and a walk down memory lane for some Cleveland baseball fans. Listen for the moment Patti catches her breath when Coach Whitey says the words “Kenny Lofton.”

Premeditated Retaliation

Voxtopica — Tue, 18 Feb 2020 12:00:00 -0500

Sorry not sorry = words of House MLB, followed by “Let’s just move on.” Did the Red Sox really do their due diligence around Alex Verdugo? Police reports indicate otherwise. But he just wants to move on. Astros owner Jim Crane apologized by stating he shouldn’t be held accountable. Just wants to move on. Former Astros apologize much better than current Astros, who can’t seem to stop talking, but just want to move on. Dusty Baker makes “premeditated retaliation” a thing.

Thank the baseball gods for boyfriends to cheer us out of our funk. Pottymouth feels the love for Oakland outfielder Stephen Piscotty, whose story shows baseball at its best. Patti finds her starting 3B in Matt Chapman, he of the sexy defense and bromance with Khris Davis. Both our NL boyfriends are the Cardinal Way, all the way. Pottymouth catches the Aloha spirit with 2B Kolten Wong, and Patti goes with another 3B Matt, with Matt “It’s Gotta Be the Salsa” Carpenter. And another t shirt goes on the wish list. Also thank you baseball gods for shirtless Mets.

Minor leaguers get a tiny pay raise, the post-season may get super-sized, and girls showcase their skills at MLB Grit.

Defense Against the Dark Arts

Voxtopica — Tue, 11 Feb 2020 12:00:00 -0500

New information on the Astros cheating scandal implicates interns, Excel, and Harry Potter. Were the right people punished? Still not over, friends, still not over.

At the time of recording, the Mookie Betts trade remained up in the air, leading us to agree with Justin Turner that journalists shoving decorum to the side to get a scoop can make a real mess of things. Speaking of messes, the Player’s Union and Joc Pederson got the shaft from MLB and the Arbitration Panel, who forced Pederson to negotiate salary with the Dodgers even when he was an active trade chip with the Angels.

Boyfriends this week begin in Tampa Bay, or in Pottymouth’s case, Japan. Yoshitomo “Yoshi” Tsutsugo joins the Rays this year after 10 years with the Yokahama Baystars, and a stint in the Dominican League, learning to “play with heart.” Patti chose Brandon “Bamm Bamm” Lowe, but all signs point to Brandon’s wife Madison as Patti’s real choice for Rays BF. Pottymouth brings us a new Omar to love, this time catcher Omar Navaráez, whose goal is to bring baseball to Ecuador, eventually. Patti can’t quit Christian Yelich, and declares him her keeper BF for this season. Maybe it’s the Body Issue, maybe it’s the philanthropy, maybe it’s the numbers he will bring the fantasy team. Congrats to the champions of this year’s Caribbean Series, Toros del Este. Finally, please join with 100+ mayors around the country to share your stories of why minor league ball is a vital part of your community.

A Squirrel, a Polar Bear, the Beast and Superman walk into a bar...

Voxtopica — Tue, 04 Feb 2020 12:00:00 -0500

We get way into the weeds around the Astros cheating scandal and cite a few studies trying to get at what players were doing what and when and can we ever know. Dusty Baker riding into town to clean up the Clubhouse Culture gives us hope. Pottymouth channels her inner Whitney to introduce her new Cleveland boyfriend, that “big happy chunk of ball destruction” Franmil Reyes. Patti starts her Oscar Mercado profile with a Christmas morning in Cartagena story, and ends it with a Superman catch. There’s talk of knobless bats, too many gloves, and excellent use of protective netting around Pottymouth’s new Mets boyfriend, Jeff “Flying Squirrel” McNeil. Patti struggles to find things to say about Pete Alonzo that she hasn’t said before, so settles on “Wade Boggs.” Robinson Canó and some of NCiB’s other favorite guys lead a march in the Dominican Republic to end violence against women. Kris Bryant loses his service time grievance, a bad sign for up-and-coming minor leaguers and the future of fair labor practices in baseball. Stop complaining about no baseball, and watch the Caribbean Series, happening this week.

Just Wait ‘Til Next Year, Omar

Voxtopica — Tue, 28 Jan 2020 12:00:00 -0500

Pottymouth does math (!) to show how NCiB once and forever baseball boyfriend Omar Vizquel will get voted into the Hall of Fame *next* year. Maybe. New Mets manager Luis Rojas has an excellent pedigree and a deep history with the team. Patti and the Pottymouth pull out their Mom cred to jump on Scott Boras’ assertions that the Astros players don’t need to apologize, and Justin Turner wonders why Dallas Keuchel, who didn’t even hit, was the one who did. Rep. Bobby Rush says Congress as an “ethical and moral” imperative to investigate the cheating scandal, because they don’t have enough to do. We stay clear of ongoing investigations and select new kids, Bobby Dalbec and Marcus Wilson, as our Red Sox boyfriends. Pottymouth chooses utility player Idelmaro Vargas and Patti picks speedster and human target Tim Locastro as their Diamondbacks boyfriends. Winter baseball is winding up, but there are still some national championships to watch. Patti and the Pottymouth report back from their happy hour with the adults behind DC Girls Baseball and are here to tell you what you can do to support girls playing baseball where you live.

A Little Bit Happy, A Little Bit WTF

Voxtopica — Tue, 21 Jan 2020 12:00:00 -0500

Patti and the Pottymouth perform a public service by saving their Astros Cheating Scandal rant until the end of the show, so they can set you up with the happy first.

Boyfriends this week come from the Rangers and the Cubs. Pottymouth leads the Texas talk with Joey “Pico de” Gallo, an actual joey, and some puppies, and Patti counters with Nick “Hockey kid” Solak, an enthusiastic mom, and a holiday proposal. Over at Wrigley, Pottymouth finds her catcher in bat-dropping Wilson Contreras, and Patti looks to brainy Nico Hoerner to start this year. We are overjoyed to cheer on Alyssa Nakken, the first female full time coach in the majors, and give Gabe Kapler grudging credit for a good hire.

And then we rant. Patti catches you up on scandal to date, and Pottymouth is stuck with an “In Cora We Trust” T shirt. We look at things from the pitcher’s perspective, from the words of Mike Clevinger and Eirann Dolan. We toss around our need for guilty players to own up and take responsibility and the legal and personal reasons that they don’t. And the unchecked anger swirling around in the baseball world. Patti considers breaking up with her once and forever broadcasting BF Jessica Mendoza who really let her down this week with her opinion on Mike Fiers, after such a high from becoming a Baseball For All board member. And there is still Winter Baseball, which so far has not broken our hearts.

Patti Breaks up with Anthony Rendon

Voxtopica — Tue, 14 Jan 2020 12:00:00 -0500

Baseball players once again step up for disaster relief, this time for earthquakes in Puerto Rico, where ballparks are serving as shelters. Our favorite World Series first pitch, Chef Jose Andres, is feeding thousands through his World Central Kitchen, a good destination for your relief dollars or volunteer time, if you are so inclined.

Patti explains Arbitration, and runs through NCIB boyfriends past and present heading down the file and trial road. Mookie and Cody set records for deals.

Pottymouth chooses Albert Pujols as her Angels boyfriend because of the shirt on her back and the shirt off of his. Patti makes the painful decision to cut loose once and forever boyfriend Anthony Rendon (while wearing his shirt on her back) for non-baseball reasons, which frees her up to select Shohei Ohtani in his DH role, which is not a real thing. From the Phillies, Pottymouth calls on Scott Kingery, he of the inside-the-park home runs and puppapalooza. Patti picks the best catcher in the league, JT Realmuto, who shares quite the All-Star game routine with his wife.

We run down the latest news in electronic sign stealing, 12 hours before all the Astros news breaks, and review the state of Winter Baseball. We cross-train with the Olympics, where athletes will be banned from political and religious demonstrations on the field, the podium, and the Village.

Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCIB. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Wild Boars, WAR, and A*&hole of the Year Award

Voxtopica — Tue, 07 Jan 2020 12:00:00 -0500

In the first episode of the new year, we bestow our very first A*&hole of the year award to Domingo Germán, who earned the league’s longest suspension for violation of the domestic abuse policy for a player not formally charged. The Yankees clean house in training and conditioning and make us wonder just how good the 103 game-winning team will be without a record number of player injuries. On a related note, wild boars have joined suitcases and drones on the list of causes of preventable player injuries. Our White Sox boyfriends include this year’s Eloy Jimenez, Luis Robert, as well as last year’s Eloy Jimenez, Eloy Jimenez. For the Giants, Pottymouth could not choose anyone other than Mike Yaztrzemski, and Patti predictably selects the next Buster Posey, Joey Bart. Pottymouth introduces us to Jazzmine Rivera, the first Hispanic woman to play collegiate baseball. Patti explains WAR, and what it is good for (absolutely something). There’s still time to catch Winter ball. All this, and Patti tries to roll a few Rs, and Pottymouth goads her into swearing.

Growing Into His Man Muscles

Voxtopica — Tue, 31 Dec 2019 12:00:00 -0500

This week’s baseball boyfriends represent the Seattle Mariners and Colorado Rockies and include an actual smackdown. Pottymouth’s BF Austin Nola will be competing with Patti’s BF, Evan “Beautiful Freak” White, for the Mariner’s starting 1B. Representing the Rockies, Pottymouth selects commercial star and self-proclaimed Momma’s Boy, Ryan McMahon, while Patti goes for former National and longtime good human Ian Desmond.

Moving forward from the tragedy that was the death of Tyler Skaggs, MLB and MLBPA amend the Joint Drug Agreement to focus less on discipline and more on prevention and treatment.

Pottymouth’s winter baseball predictions are holding up pretty well, except that we left out all of Colombia. And there was a bench-clearing brawl!

Our New Year’s gift to you is the feminist history behind “Take Me Out to the Ballgame.” Our resolution? To learn the verses about Katie Casey and her love of the game and teach it to fans everywhere. Change the face of the 7th inning stretch!

Remember to give the gift of No Crying in Baseball, and enjoy this holiday season. Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to NCiB. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Boba Fett, Baseball Boyfrend

Voxtopica — Tue, 24 Dec 2019 12:00:00 -0500

Patti marks the release of the latest Star Wars movie by spoiler-free naming Boba Fett, er, Bo Bichette, her Blue Jays boyfriend for 2020. Pottymouth is happy to find that even though we never stopped talking about Vladimir Guerrero, Jr. last season, he wasn’t an official boyfriend, until now. Over in San Diego, Pottymouth lays claim to Eric “Red Hot Chili Peppers” Hosmer, while Patti chooses Josh “Born with Skates on” Naylor. Let. The. Kids. Play.

We realize we might actually like Gerrit Cole, since that whole World Series situation is firmly behind us. How can you not believe in childhood dreams coming true, and “f*n book reports?”

Some of MLB’s record profits are going to programs designed to reach out to under-represented populations, and we’re here for that, but Pottymouth has some ideas for the rest of that excess cash.

Patti puts the plus in OPS+ and explains “Ballpark Factors.” Stats? Math? Vocabulary? We’ve got it all going on.

Did you know that the MLB is not allowed to play in Stupidface? Pottymouth explains it all in her current events/politics/winter baseball round up,.

Pottymouth and The Punisher

Voxtopica — Tue, 17 Dec 2019 12:00:00 -0500

Pottymouth is all in for Aristides “The Punisher” Aquino as her new Reds boyfriend, so much so that her Dominican Winter League fandom is now divided. Patti also looks to the outfield and selects Nick Senzell, who had her at The Green Monster “makes you feel so tiny.” Over in Kansas City, Cuban-born Jorge Soler and his personal emoji capture Pottymouth’s attention, while Hunter Dozier and his backyard batting cage are Patti’s pick.

Anthony Rendon is leaving is for the Angels where he can hide behind Mike Trout and his exclamation points, and we have feelings. Surprising feelings. Patti does not care for the number of times Pottymouth says “Trump” in this context, but still wants Angels gear.

Major League Baseball is threatening to take its ball and go home, leaving Minor League Baseball swinging in the wind, and Bernie Sanders and Trevor Bauer are not having it.

And Yadier Molina managed to have his celebrity softball game and home run derby even without us.

Pierogis vs. Presidents

Voxtopica — Tue, 10 Dec 2019 12:00:00 -0500

In which we get the episode number right but say Padres when we mean Pirates and George when we mean Gregory. Welcome to the off-season.

Patti provides helpful career advice to Pottymouth by comparing job postings for favorite mascots.

We profile our new Orioles boyfriends, Pedro Severino and Anthony Santander, who we hear is very big in the UK. Just to stir things up, Pottymouth gives up her volatile Pirates boyfriends of the past to select Bryan Reynolds, complete with a fishing with Dad story, while Patti takes a page from her book and chooses injury-laden, but so close to great Gregory “El Coffee” Polanco, but continually calls him “george” for no apparent reason. New Pirates manager, Derek Shelton, has arrived with universal approval and high hopes.

Pottymouth notes that our former boyfriends Tommy Pham and Jurickson Profar are headed to San Diego, which may give us a new team to love. And yet we tarnish it with outside words. The way we do.

Not that we’re keeping score, but Patti wins another point. This one for a boyfriend winning an award she didn’t know existed for a position she doesn’t believe in. Nelson Cruz is the 2019 winner of the Edgar Martinez Outstanding DH award.

Addison Frickin’ Russell has been non-tendered. The People do not want him, we’ll see if front offices agree.

A Bi-partisan congressional task force to “Save Minor League Baseball” formed to warn the MLB that they are watching the negotiations with MiLB and are ready to smack them down with legislative “solutions” if the plan to gut the Minors proceeds. Bernie Sanders tries to sell Rob Manfred on his plan for universal baseball. Sort of.

Pottymouth is dismayed by the inappropriate and puzzling uses of “Woo” and Mr. Happy in the Red Sox farm system. But not so much that she can’t provide you with the following guide to watching Winter Baseball, including her picks for each league’s winning team:

Australian Baseball League (ABL) https://theabl.com.au/schedule

7 teams, Regular season: 11/20-1/25

LIDOM (Dominican Republic) (Liga Intervernal Domnicana) http://www.lidom.com

Regular season: 10/12-12/17

Pottymouth’s Pick: Leones del Escogido (Tigers BF WIlli Castro)

Liga de Beisbol Profesional Roberto Clemente https://www.ligapr.com/

Regular season:11/15-12/29, Playoffs 1/3 -1/22

Pottymouth’s Pick: Gigantes de Carolina (Marlins BF Isan Diaz)

Liga Mexicana del Pacifico https://www.lmp.mx/

Regular season: 10/11-12/30

Pottymouth’s Pick: Naranjeros De Hermosillo (host to Justine Siegal’s clinics)

Liga Venezuela Beisbol Profesional https://www.lvbp.com/

Regular season: 11/4-12/29

Pottymouth’s Pick: Cardinales De Lara (lost chance at hosting Serie del Caribe last year)

Beísbol Cubano http://www.beisbolcubano.cu

Second Phase: 10/27 - 12/24, Championship: Jan 6-8

Pottymouth’s Pick: Cienfuegos (elephant mascot)

LBPN - Nicaragua https://lbpn.com.ni/

Regular Season: 11/25-12/21

Pottymouth’s Pick: Tigres de Chinandega (Ace - Atahualpa Severino)

Probeis (Panama) https://www.tvmax-9.com/probeis/

Regular Season: 11/28 - 12/27?

Pottymouth’s Pick: Astronautas de Chiriquí (great name)

Serie del Caribe

Feb 1-8, Puerto Rico

Manos de Seda

Voxtopica — Tue, 03 Dec 2019 12:00:00 -0500

Before we kick off the Boyfriends of 2020, we dabble in boyfriends of long ago and just yesterday. Patti’s original baseball boyfriend, Omar “Manos de Seda” (hands of silk!) Vizquel, landed a new gig managing Mexico’s Toros de Tijuana, and our HOF campaign progresses in earnest. Pottymouth’s 2019 Orioles BF Jonathan Villar is waived outright by the Os, and instead of emotional support, she gets a vocabulary lesson on the non-tender deadline. Some friend.

We cheat off the smart kids, er, receive suggestions from experts, on the first batch of baseball boyfriends for 2020. Pottymouth finds a cosmic connection with Tigers shortstop Willi Castro, while Patti talks tattoos, stitches, and Rule 5 in claiming left fielder Victor Reyes. In Marlin’s world, Pottymouth selects Isan Diaz, 2nd baseman, who homered off both Jacob DeGrom and Noah Syndergaard in his rookie season and caused his dad to become an Internet sensation. Meanwhile, Patti agrees to a blind date with shortstop Miguel Rojas, who had her at “Omar” and kept her with singing mom stories.

Listen for the moment our hearts break and our souls are crushed as we share the news of sportswriter Jonah Keri going from “one of us” to “one of them.”

Patti sneaks in a second vocabulary lesson, “Player Development Contract” or “PDC” as we continue our discussion of the plan to gut the minor leagues. And then dangles the idea of a road trip to check out as many of the 42 teams on the chopping block as possible.

Major Rant About the Minor Leagues

Voxtopica — Tue, 26 Nov 2019 12:00:00 -0500

Patti and the Pottymouth go off on MLB’s plan to gut the minor leagues, saying things like “Capitalism,” “Sanders,” “Schumer,” and “veiled threats.” Sports isn’t just sports. It is economics, labor, community, family, and politics too.

On a lighter note, we bestow the title of Honorary Boyfriend on Gerardo Parra, as he departs to play in Japan.

Patti reminds us what this whole “Rule 5 Draft” is about and why you’ve been hearing about which prospects teams have been protecting by placing them on the 40 man roster. This leads to a discussion of veterans let go to make room, including the curious case of Jacoby Ellsbury, Pottymouth’s once and never again Red Sox BF.

We celebrate a lot of happenings regarding women and girls in baseball, including the prominent hires of Rachel Balkovec to the Yankees, Rachel Folden to the Cubs, and Eve Rosenbaum to the Orioles. Baseball for All ran girls clinics in Mexico, which may or may not have led to a spontaneous singing of the Love Boat theme by your hosts. And finally, the Women’s World Cup 2020 location has been announced: Monterrey, Mexico. It sounds like a lovely November destination. Again with the shameless begging, and much impressive rolling of Rs.

This week’s stats lesson covers OBP and OPS, what they really tell us, and why there is bad math involved. The bonus stat of “isolated power” sent your hosts upstairs to create an adult beverage deserving of that name.

Your homework, should you accept it, is to read the two articles running numbers to determine if the Astros sign-stealing actually worked for them, and draw your own conclusions. 538 and The Ringer came up with different answers based on the same data.

Be Better Than This

Voxtopica — Tue, 19 Nov 2019 12:00:00 -0500

We can’t avoid the Astros’ sign-stealing scandal, so we lean right in. Patti and the Pottymouth choose opposite sides of the Darvish/Yelich twitter feud, as well as just how deep Alex Cora and Carlos Beltran are enmeshed in the kerfuffle.

How could the Giants think bringing on Gabe Kapler was a good idea? Was it his less than stellar record with the Phillies? Or his inappropriate attempts at covering up an assault scandal while with the Dodgers? Buster Posey knows what’s what.

Pottymouth catches us up on the Premier 12, and how the only Americans going to the Olympics for baseball so far are the ones who play for Mexico. Still a chance. Still a chance. She also pitches how great we’d be at the Puerto Rican charity softball tournament, if only we could find a sponsor…

Meanwhile, closer to home, the Fredericksburg Nationals, or the Class A “FredNats” unveil a secondary logo of Mary Washington as a left-handed pitcher, and make history.

Patti teaches a little vocabulary, with “qualifying offer” and uses it in a sentence or two to explain why Jake Odorizzi and Jose Abreu would take them. The economics continue when the major league players get a raise that is about equal to what minor leaguers make in a year unless they play for the Blue Jays organization.

The Washington Capitals take a page from MLB and have players choose “goal songs.” The results are as uneven as walk-up songs in 2019, but we’re here for the cross-training.

That’s Junior Pottymouth to You

Voxtopica — Tue, 12 Nov 2019 12:00:00 -0500

Silver Sluggers are announced and NCiB Boyfriends Ozzie Albies, Ronald Acuna, Jr., and DJ LeMahieu collect their first awards, while Anthony Rendon takes home #2, and Mookie “Pookie” Betts, Christian Yelich, and Nelson Cruz are three-time winners. Once again we miss our chance to vote for the Platinum Glove winners, and once again Nolan Arenado and Matt Chapman are the winners. There must be something in the water, or the infield grass, at El Toro High School in Lake Forest, CA. Which is not the same as the Rancho Carne Toros. Not the same at all.

Patti begins to baby step through baseball stats -- are the ones we talk about most the ones that really tell us what we want to know about a player or team? Are batting averages and RBI numbers the way to compare players for awards and compute their Free Agency worth?

Pottymouth wants you to stay up late and get up early to catch the WBSC Premier 12 Tournament in Japan, and the Women’s Baseball Asian Cup in China. Also, NCiB’s favorite Dominican team fires Fernando Tatis, Sr, and fans and players go apeshit. Don’t mess with the dynasty.

We cross-train with Women’s Soccer, where there is a movement toward gender pay equity. Tiny movement, but in the right direction.

The San Diego Padres bring balance back to the baseball universe, by listening to their fan base and bringing back the brown and gold uniforms. In a daring move, the Pad’s road grays are in fact, “sand.”

Junior Pottymouth joins us to tell tales of maintaining (and building) fandom from a school far from one’s home team, WS parade road trips, and a visit to Cooperstown.

So Much Crying in Baseball

Voxtopica — Tue, 05 Nov 2019 12:00:00 -0500

We note once or twice that the Washington Nationals won the World Series. The end of the postseason signals the start of the hot stove season so Patti offers a vocabulary lesson in exercising options. Pottymouth posits that Never Gonna be a Boyfriend Aroldis Chapman did not opt-out of his Yankees contract because there are no other places for abusive relievers.

Scott Boras manages all of the top three Free Agents and has Ideas about shortening the season that sound downright reasonable.

Defense is sexy and our boyfriends are all over the Gold Glove awards. We contrast good guy, man of the people, new Mets manager Carlos Beltrán, with sometimes scorned, top-down, old school not in a good way, new Royals manager Mike Matheny.

World Champion Washington Nationals celebrate all over town, including cross-training with the Capitals. Along the way to shirtless Zamboni riding, there was some 51st state advocacy, some baby sharking, and more adventures with the Beer Guy. All was well until the White House visit when unless they can prove they were still drunk or playing a long game prank, Kurt Suzuki and Ryan Zimmerman flirt with the Never Gonna Be A Boyfriend list.

We throw some shade and some math at post-season umpiring, show solidarity with Deadspin, and try to make the Slip and Slide guy a poster boy for white male privilege.

A Capella Means No Shirt, Right?

Voxtopica — Tue, 29 Oct 2019 12:00:00 -0400

The “Calma” in the Nationals clubhouse is so much more delightful than the toxic culture over at the Astros. And that’s not just two Nats fans talking, The Assistant GM of the Astros has been fired, and MLB is investigating belligerence, inappropriate behavior, and outright lies perpetrated by the Astros organization. Never should have brought that Osuna guy on to begin with. And don’t try to fake the news in a room full of journalists. We rant.

Jose Andres, chef, humanitarian, and immigrant, throws out a World Series first pitch and unites the crowd.

Awards are given to the league’s best relievers, homophobe Josh Hader and domestic abuser Aroldis Chapman. Patti stress-crochets, and we rant.

MLB investigates umpire Rob Drake’s threatening tweets. We rant.

We assured you there would be no news about managers until after the World Series. Except for David Ross, Jayce Tingler, and Joe Girardi. But that’s it. Just those guys. And some front-office stuff over at the Pirates and Red Sox. Nothing to see here.

All this, plus conspiracy theories, Bud Light for Life if you can block a WS home run with your chest, and full frontal flashing. Not ours.

Dead Balls, Baby Sharks, and the Elusive Shotski

Voxtopica — Tue, 22 Oct 2019 12:00:00 -0400

In an unexpected role reversal, Pottymouth steers us away from shotskis and towards responsible behavior and making amends. Patti, meanwhile, says “balls” too much, and narrowly avoids a shotski situation at a college hockey game.

Our postseason boyfriends past and present play some sexy defense (Michael Brantley), and hit some key homeruns (DJ LeMahieu and Jose Altuve). Brantley also hits a scary foul into the dugout, sending a paramedic to the hospital, because dugouts do not, and never will, have protective netting. Always and forever boyfriend Anthony Rendon, and maybe one day future BF Alex Bregman, set up a WS 3rd base match-up for the ages. Gerardo Parra makes a play for a future boyfriend designation by delivering plush baby sharks to pediatric cancer patients at DC’s Children’s Hospital. We provide helpful guidance on the predicament of who to root for when both closers (Chapman and Osuna) are abusers. The hitters. Root for the hitters.

Pottymouth’s heart grows three sizes today as she apologizes for the final time to CC Sabathia and celebrates his contributions to the sport -- and shows that she means her new outlook when she slams very specific Yankees fans for very specific egregious behavior, instead of making generalizations.

Patti takes a look at the juiced ball regular season and the dead ball postseason and wonders if we just ran out of juiced balls? And considers how it bodes well for her favorite style of play, small ball. We also review the MLB proposal to gut the Minor League program for all the right stated reasons but yikes, This is big.

And we mention several hundred times that HOLY SHIT THE NATIONALS ARE IN THE WORLD SERIES.

Transcript Here

We’re Gonna Need a Bigger Bandwagon

Voxtopica — Tue, 15 Oct 2019 12:00:00 -0400

Part-way through the AL and NL championship rounds, we welcome bandwagon fans. Come on board, we’ll make room for everyone and don’t let anyone tell you you don’t belong. It’s our job to try to keep you, not disregard you for not being born into a baseball-loving family. Besides, bandwagon fans are the most fun to explain superstitions and rituals to. Same seats! No he CANNOT shave that terrible beard. Yes, I wore that shirt last time too.

We thank Dodgers’s fans for their disregard of our warnings about the Wave, as that lead to back to back homers by our Nats BFs Rendon and Soto. Anibal Sanchez and Max Scherzer reprise their feat of 2013, the last time two pitchers took no hitters past the 5th inning in back to back post-season games. Daniel Hudson is a dad first, then a relief pitcher, so go back to scaring kids off your lawn, old mean guys.

The only distraction from the developing Sanchez no-no in Game 1 was the crotch grabbing of Juan Soto and Card’s starting pitcher Mike Mikolas. Their own. Not each other’s. Also distracting but in a good way, Marcell Ozuna’s neon yellow sleeve -- I mean, we like it, but why is that allowed and Contreras’ Venezuelan flag sleeve not? Can you say Nike? Astros players can’t stop calling DJ LeMahieu incredible. So he was.

Padres pitcher Jacob Nix gets tazed and then arrested for entering his house through the doggie door. Because it wasn’t his house. And he doesn’t own a dog.

The Tyler Skaggs story continues as we learn that Eric Kay, the Director of Communications for the Angels had been supplying the pitcher with Oxy for years. Kay’s family insists they alerted the Angels organization multiple times that Skaggs was using, to no avail. This is only going to get uglier.

Both the Astros and Yankees have closers on the NCiB Never Gonna Be a Boyfriend list (Roberto Osuna and Aroldis Chapman have both been suspended in the past for domestic abuse) so neither team gets an official show endorsement. Instead, and surprising no one, we are all Nats, All the Time from here on out. Look for us in the nosebleeds.

Transcript Here

That F*%#ing Chop

Voxtopica — Tue, 08 Oct 2019 12:00:00 -0400

Haven’t had a rant like this for a while. Pottymouth goes off on that fucking Tomahawk Chop, which got personal for Cardinal’s pitcher Ryan Helsey, but if that is what it took for you to see the problem, what the heck is wrong with you? You cannot simultaneously give your fans foam tomahawks and say you are taking steps to eliminate the chop. Side note, Patti swears for real.

Everybody was mad at Ronald Acuna Jr. for not one but two instances of admiring a home run and what turned out not to be a home run. Seriously, everybody, both teams. He then modeled appropriate apologetic behavior -- make amends to those you wronged, promise to do better, and then do better.

Patti’s BFs Yandy Diaz and DJ LeMahieu do boyfriend things for teams she does not want to see win, followed by an immediate discussion of “Verlandered” and “Cole-d” as verbs of doom.

Pottymouth’s former Astros boyfriend Jose Altuve just keeps homering in the first game of every postseason. Raise your hand if you understand the Weeble reference.

In a vocabulary lesson, Patti explains “The Cardinal Way” and hopes it still matters by the time the episode drops.

Mickey Calloway is out and all of a sudden former managers who it seemed had other things to do with their time are showing up as possible new Mets managers. Dusty? Buck? Joe?

Patti went to the first-ever DMV Girls Baseball Tournament and watched friend of the show Shalvah rip one to left and pitch her heart out. Justine Siegal is right, you just need to see it in person.

Transcript Here

We Say “Groin” Way Too Much

Voxtopica — Tue, 01 Oct 2019 12:00:00 -0400

In the calm between the regular season and the start of the postseason, we review, regroup, revile, and rejoice. Yadier Molina gives us the last bench-clearing conversation of the season. Our baseball boyfriends past and present clean up with the batting titles. Tim Anderson, Anthony Rendon, Mookie “Pookie” Betts, and future BF Pete Alonzo do us proud. Patti reveals that catcher Tony Wolters has been her secret Rockies BF since July, and played an end of season spoiler. Pottymouth’s Rangers BF Ronald Guzman was bullied into a ridiculous dropped foul to fuel Mike Minor’s wish for a personal milestone. We do not approve. Groin injuries keep Ronald Acuna Jr and Nick Castellanos from reaching their own landmark numbers. We keep tabs on the most never going to be a BF of all, Felipe Vazquez, because this story cannot be dropped. Six managers so far are moving on, and Bochy and Maddon have a little fun on their way out. In cross-training, Pottymouth urges DMV locals to support this weekend’s girls baseball tournament, and Patti suggests the WNBA finals for everyone else. Congrats to “the Leftovers,” winner of NCiB’s Fantasy Baseball Boyfriend League.

Transcript Here

Chasing History with Pete, Ronald, and Nick

Voxtopica — Tue, 24 Sep 2019 12:00:00 -0400

With one week left in the season, is there enough time for Pete Alonso to break the record for home runs by a rookie? Can Ronald Acuña, Jr. steal those last three bases to join the coveted 40-40 club? Will Nick Castellanos hit those last two doubles for a season high of 60, not seen since 1936? Add that to the two Central division champions and all the wildcards to be decided and it’s a heck of a week for baseball fans.

Eugenio Suarez breaks the record for homeruns by a Venezuelan player in the majors, and his Reds teammates attempt the Venezuelan national anthem in celebration. Suarez is chasing Alonso for the league lead in homers.

The hamate gods giveth and they taketh away. Cleveland’s Jose Ramirez is due back this week after hamate surgery, at the same time CLE second baseman Jason Kipnis goes out for the rest of the season with the same injury.

Mike Yastrzemski homers in his Fenway debut, as a member of the visiting Giants, and grandfather Carl throws him a ceremonial first pitch. Boston fans love (almost) every minute of it. Pottymouth is desperately looking for where she hid Mike’s autograph.

Assholes, administrative leave, and questions abound this week as two more guys made the NCiB never gonna be a boyfriend list. Domingo Germán allegedly hit his girlfriend, or is she his wife, in public in front of witnesses, or was it home with no one else there? The Yankees ace is on administrative leave while the league sorts this out. Meanwhile, Felipe Vasquez has us reconsidering our no-punching stance. Last week we defended the Pirates’ closer on the receiving end of a punch thrown over clubhouse music choices. This week he was charged with statutory assault, child pornography, and a list of other disturbing crimes involving a 15-year-old girl with whom he has been in contact since she was 13 years old. The league’s administrative leave is redundant here as he has been denied bail.

Patti introduces Jamie Gillan, the Cleveland Browns rookie punter, in a cross-training/grooming mashup. The Scottish Hammer rocks serious flow and sometimes a kilt. Scenes of his life-changing events include an HBCU, Facebook, and multiple drinking establishments. If he played baseball, your hosts might be fighting over boyfriend rights.

Transcript Here

Holy Crap, it’s the 100th Episode!

Voxtopica — Tue, 17 Sep 2019 12:00:00 -0400

So many guys are out for the rest of the season. Some from random and heartbreaking injury, and some from preventable mayhem. We mourn the loss of Christian Yelich and ponder the opportunity that Shohei Ohtani’s knee surgery provides to improve his command of Spanish language cursing. We give a hearty WTaF to Kyle Crick’s “I punched my own teammate over music choices” injury and Michael Pineda’s “over-the-counter weight loss pills seemed like a good idea at the time” suspension. The grooming segment is back, celebrating Bo Bichette’s flow, noting Pete Alonso’s mustache, a bad idea coming AND going, and hoping Mike Fiers has learned his lesson screwing with a winning streak via facial hair. We provide a BF scouting report on Eloy Jimenez, and throw our considerable NCiB weight behind Raquel Ferreira for the top job at the Red Sox.

Transcript Here

Wilson Ramos stole that base fair and square.

Voxtopica — Tue, 10 Sep 2019 12:00:00 -0400

After 3364 plate appearances, Wilson Ramos finally stole a base. Ronald Acuña Jr. stole the very same base to join the 30-30 club. Who gets the base? It’s a boyfriend smackdown.

Ketel Marte's slams earns player of the week and proves Pottymouth right. Matt Olson earns some boyfriend love from Patti, even though she’d prefer his Oakland team would please lose just enough for Cleveland to cement that wildcard spot.

Aaron Barrett reminds us that it’s hard not to be romantic about baseball. His triumphant return to the majors after horrible injury and years of rehab moved the universe of baseball to tears of joy, relief, and gratitude.

Reds pitcher Michael Lorenzen gives us his best Babe Ruth and causes Pottymouth to reluctantly make Patti’s anti-DH argument for her. This time.

Big brother Brian Moran debuts with the Marlins after 10 years in the minors. With their parents in the stands, Brian strikes out little brother and Pirates 3rd baseman Colin Moran. And gets the win. How can you not be romantic about baseball?

Dave Dombrowski gets the boot from the Red Sox, opening the door to management by committee and maybe, just maybe, a female GM?

Minor league baseball, including Blue Jays prospect Chavez Young, and local junior baseball leagues mobilize disaster relief for the post-Dorian Bahamas. Because “If you come in my life in baseball then you’re in my life.”

Please take a moment to subscribe to the show, and leave us a review on Apple Podcasts. Find us on Twitter @ncibpodcast, on Facebook @nocryinginbball, Instagram @nocryinginbball and on the Interweb at nocryinginbball.com. Become a supporter at Patreon to help us keep doing what we do. Say goodnight, Pottymouth.

Transcript Here

Christian Yelich Shows Us a Little Something Extra

Voxtopica — Tue, 03 Sep 2019 12:00:00 -0400

Christian Yelich just keeps racking up the points as Patti’s Brewer’s boyfriend. Not one bit of this week’s discussion touches on his baseball prowess. There’s plenty of other characteristics on which to focus, many of which are on display in the ESPN Body Issue. He also ups the humor game with his walk-up song salute to a twitter critic, and we are here for it. We cross-train a little with the Body Issue, focusing on paralympic athlete Scout Bassett, and why these photos of athlete’s bodies are more than just pretty to look at.

Not to get lost in the Yelich glow, boyfriend for life Anthony Rendon makes history with Pottymouth’s National’s BFJuan Soto, hitting historic back to back homers. Jonathan Villar continues to shine on an otherwise fading Orioles team.

The Pulaski Yankees, the only Yankees team Patti and the Pottymouth will ever love, are in the playoffs. We are happy to have been (a super tiny) part of their record-setting attendance this year.

September call-ups are starting with the 40 man roster expansion. Patti and the Pottymouth catch you up on what that means and why it happens, just in time for the rules to change for next year.

BF Ronald Guzmán got the call-up and is back on the Rangers. Cookie Carrasco returned to the Cleveland team after his diagnosis and treatment for leukemia, and Tampa Bay welcomed his relief debut with a standing ovation.

Continuing the momentous day for Major League pitchers, Astro Justin Verlander threw his second no-no in the Blue Jays home park, and Patrick Corbin rung up his 200th strikeout, making the Nationals the first team since the 1969 Astros to have three starters hit that mark in the same season (Strasburg and Scherzer complete the set).

We continue to prove we are terrible at playoff and award predictions, as we perform our final monthly check-in of the regular season.

The toxicology report is out on Tyler Skaggs’ untimely death and it is ugly and deeply sad.

LG Electronics models how to sponsor an international women’s baseball tournament, playing host to the LG Cup in South Korea. The US sent its “US Elite” team, comprised of players from all over the country, and finished second to Japan. The COPABE tournament, the World Cup qualifier held in Mexico last week, is still getting good coverage in the Latin American press. Here? Almost not at all, despite the gold medal.

Transcript Here

Dammit Hamate

Voxtopica — Tue, 27 Aug 2019 12:00:00 -0400

Patti, Pottymouth, and Big Papi all took kids to college last week, and everyone lived through it.

Players Weekend gave us some fashion statements we loved, and some we really didn’t appreciate. Mookie Betts honoring Big Papi with his cleat design, and Aaron Judge having all 200+ Little League World Series players sign his cleats? Definitely in the plus column. Tributes to Tyler Skaggs? We’re here for it. But those monochrome, unreadable unis that made some players look like umpires and others like Spaceballs and inspired Hunter Pence to perform as a mime… wait, we’ll keep that last one.

Hamate bone issues keep taking out our baseball boyfriends. This week, the appendix of the hand may end Jose Ramirez’s season, and the four-week recovery mark isn’t doing it for Joey Gallo. Pottymouth still says hamate surgery gives players superpowers in the long run, a la Giancarlo Stanton, but Patti wants those J-Ram fantasy points now, thank you very much, and her Cleveland team can’t afford to lose him on the brink of playoffs either.

Pottymouth loses a boyfriend as Cervelli goes to Atlanta for a song. Cody Bellinger loses his pants as he tries to take one base too many (but the Dodger Blue shorts really do pop against the Player’s weekend uniforms). Busch Stadium loses its “M” as Paul DeJong hits a movie-worthy homer and takes out some lights.

Yasiel Puig spends a day off visiting kids with cancer and blood diseases at their sleepaway camp. Dance parties, Where’s Waldo, and new respect from Patti and the Pottymouth ensue.

Justin Verlander and the Astros make some questionable, possibly agreement-breaking, moves against the Detroit Free Press and it ain’t over. These were actually written rules so they can’t be punished by a fastball behind the back.

FIrst round draft pick Adley Rutschman continues to move up through the minors at a heckuva pace, earning boyfriend-in-training points along the way. Being nice to kids is kind of a sure thing.

We learn more about Kelly Dine, the second woman ever to umpire at home plate for the Little League World Series championship game, and happily, so does the rest of the LLWS-watching world. Congrats to Louisiana for your stellar shut-out win, and also to Curacao for your skill, your sense of fun, and your sportsmanship (you were really our favorite).

A whole bunch of women played baseball in a World Cup qualifying international tournament, and almost nobody paid attention. The US women went undefeated and brought home the gold medal. A no-hitter was pitched, a cycle was hit. The US, Canada, Mexico, and Venezuela qualified for world cup play. But the field wasn’t covered in the rain, the schedule was a moving target, and the only coverage was Spanish language You Tube. Kudos to our own Pottymouth for helping to translate some of the commentary into English in the You Tube comment stream. If only there were some TV stations dedicated to sports programming so that wider broadcasts could be made available. Oh, wait.

Padres Jumbotron Rick-Rolled the visiting Red Sox fans and Patti can’t stop watching it. Pottymouth, however, appears to be over it.

Transcript Here

Put Us in, Paige, we’re Ready to Play

Voxtopica — Tue, 20 Aug 2019 12:00:00 -0400

Patti and the Pottymouth may be updating resumes after our conversation with Paige Hegedus, Manager, Special Events and Affiliate Programming for Minor League Baseball. Paige oversees the official employment service of Minor League Baseball, which organizes job fairs and networking opportunities at baseball’s Winter Meetings, conducts recruitment events on college campuses, and develops outreach and ongoing support systems for women and other underrepresented populations. Considering a career in baseball? After talking with Paige, we sure are.

The Little League World Series is happening this week, in Williamsport, PA. We introduce you to Maddy Freking, the 19th girl to play in the LLWS and the first since Mo’ne Davis back in 2014.

Pottymouth finds a reason to talk Curaçao, as Jurdrick Profar, the little brother of her A’s boyfriend Jurickson Profar, plays on Curaçao’s LLWS team.

Kelly Elliot Dine is the first woman umpire to work the LLWS since 2013.

And it’s not the Black Sox, but it’s a scandal nonetheless -- the New Hampshire championship team has accused the Rhode Island champions of stealing signs, which is frowned upon in most leagues but is expressly forbidden in Little League. The Rhode Island Barrington team went on to win the regional championship and is currently competing in the LLWS.

The International Women’s Baseball Tournament, a World Cup qualifier event, is happening right now in Aguas Calientes, Mexico, and the US Women are ranked fourth, and the top four teams qualify. Rally caps, people.

In boyfriend news, Fernando Tatis, Jr. stresses his back and our Pottymouth. Is he really out for the season? Christian Yelich is the first to a 40-20 season this year, and we saw it happen. In a boyfriend vs. boyfriend smackdown, Matt Olsen and Michael Brantley each hit two home runs when the As and Astros met last week. We’re on 37 straight days where at least one player in the MLB has had a multi-homer game. Seems like a lot.

Pete Buttigieg plants a flag next to Patti’s in the anti-designated hitter camp, which Patti is quick to point out that although it is a plus, that’s not an issue on which to cast your vote for president. But now she wants all the candidates to answer that question.

All that, plus the kids leave for college and Patti has to drive through the Little League World Series to get her kid to school.

Transcript here.

“When Guys Shirts Come Off…”

Voxtopica — Tue, 13 Aug 2019 12:00:00 -0400

All the young dudes, okay, many young dudes, get some attention from Patti and the Pottymouth this week. Our Atlanta Boyfriends, Ronald Acuna Jr. and Ozzie Albies, are tearing it up. Bo Bichette (not Boba Fett), of the Blue Jays, is so shiny we aren’t even talking about Vlad Jr. Patti takes a field trip to the Single A Ironbirds to scout first-round draft pick Adley Rutschman and is not disappointed. Pottymouth’s Nationals BF, Juan Soto, can’t stop hitting them out of the park.

These young men all followed different paths to a career in professional baseball -- drafted out of high school, out of college, out of the Academy in the Dominican Republic. Where’s the path for girls and women? That’s the problem our special guest, Justine Siegal, founder of Baseball for All, is trying to solve. Justine wants every 8-year-old girl who wants to play baseball, to play baseball. Baseball for All’s 5th annual national tournament hosted 350 girls last week, pointing to a change in the right direction. Hear the stories, and how you can help build opportunities for girls and women playing baseball.

Met’s Manager Mickey Calloway says, “When guys shirts come off, it’s probably a pretty good day.” He’s talking about Michael Conforto and walk off hits, but he could just be talking the No Crying in Baseball party line. Pottymouth’s O’s boyfriend Jonathan Villar hits for the cycle and doesn’t even know it -- is that a rule like not mentioning a no-hitter while it is play? And on the flip side, he helps inspire the Chris Davis/Brandon Hyde dust up that should just not have been caught on camera.

Pottymouth cross-trains with Candian Tuxedo-wearing rugby fans, who along with Brett Gardner, experience premature ejections.

Transcript here.

Copa de la Diversión: The Hot Fun Cup

Voxtopica — Tue, 06 Aug 2019 12:00:00 -0400

Patti and the Pottymouth finally attend a Copa de la Diversión game with the Cangrejos Fantasmas. Once more, in English: we went to a Bowie Baysox game on a “Fun Cup” day, celebrating Hispanic culture, where the Baysox played as their alter-ego, the Ghost Crabs of the Chesapeake. And was Patti ever surprised to find that one of the Ghost Crabs was her Orioles boyfriend, Cedric Mullins, who was bumped down to AA to “get his Mojo working.”

In other Boyfriend news, old guy makes history. 39 year-old Nelson Cruz of the Twins hit three home runs in a game for the second time in 10 days. He’s the oldest player to do that in a single season.

Now that we are down with the Twins, where did the Cardinals come from? We fess up to that omission as part of our monthly predictions check-in. How did the trades at the deadline affect our outlook? Yasiel Puig and Franmil Reyes make Cleveland better, so we are hopeful for success in the AL Central. Greinke makes the Astros untouchable, but we had them picked anyway. Patti briefly turns pottymouth to share her feelings about the Nationals picking up Hunter Strickland, even though the bullpen needs all the help it can get. Pottymouth laments the Chris Sale implosion when we talk Cy Young.

When is a trade deadline not really a trade deadline? Patti explains the Minor League, DFA/Waiver/Free Agency, Independent and International League loopholes. So. Many. Loopholes.

The Angels DFA’d collision victim Jonathan LuCroy, for an Astro, no less. Newly retired pitcher Danny Farquhar finds a new career as a pitching coach, with Omar!

Phillie’s starter Vince Velasquez plays spectacular left field, proving that pitchers are athletes. Nationals’ new relief pitcher Roenis Elias begs to differ, as he breaks a bat and pulls a hamstring during an at-bat where he was told not to swing. In two languages.

The Red/Pirates brawl results in 6 players and two managers suspended, with some wacky rationalization. If we didn’t “protect our guy” the pitcher wouldn’t have been suspended?

What exactly is the problem with Cub’s reliever Brandon Kintzler’s glove? The Ump says it is the wrong color. Fashion faux-pas? Uniform rule? Nobody knows, but 47 games played with it and NOW it is GloveGate.

350 girls played in Baseball For All’s national tournament in Rockford, IL this weekend. Pottymouth has the report-out.

Patti cites some alliterative Cross-training in Cleveland with Baker, Beer, and Baseball. Browns QB Baker Mayfield shotguns a beer on Jumbotron while wearing a Lindor jersey, and the Cleveland Baseball Team scores five runs that inning. Coincidence? He used his teeth, people.

It’s always Shark Week with Gerardo Parra

Voxtopica — Tue, 30 Jul 2019 12:00:00 -0400

Much to Pottymouth’s delight, Patti finally embraces “Baby Shark.” Not as a song, of course, but as a builder of fan unity. This leads to a whole slew of rules, suggestions, and musings about fan participation (the Stretch is compulsory, but leave your Chop at home).

Patti’s Cleveland BF Jose Ramirez is on a tear, making that early-season pick of league MVP not so ridiculous. Pottymouth’s Os BF Jonathan Villar is knocking it out of the park, showing off sexy defense, stealing bases and contributing to a historic (in a good way) week for the Orioles. Steve Wilkerson recorded the first save ever by a position player and won Patti a pizza. Mookie/Pookie Betts is showing his boyfriend cred on and off the field.

Meet the Atlantic League, home of robot umps, stealing first base, and the consistent grip baseball.

Pottymouth encourages support of DC Girls Baseball, or the team nearest you, as girls across the country head to Rockford, IL for the Baseball For All National Tournament. 8-year-old Ashlynn Therien will be there.

We show some love for community baseball as Kelli Jenkins becomes the first female to play in the Cal Ripken Collegiate Baseball League, for the Bethesda Big Train, currently battling your NCIB Hosts home team, the SS - Takoma Thunderbolts, for the championship. Go to a local game, and maybe win a pizza.

Gaylord Perry’s Moonshot

Voxtopica — Tue, 23 Jul 2019 12:00:00 -0400

Patti and the Pottymouth celebrate the 50th anniversary of the Moon landing by sharing the story of Hall of Fame pitcher Gaylord Perry and one of the greatest coincidences in baseball history. You just can’t make this stuff up. Patti tries to add the story to her collection of anti-DH evidence, but timing is on Pottymouth’s side as the 2019 Hall of Fame induction ceremony, which happened moments before recording, included Edgar Martinez. So there.

The announcement of the Heart and Hustle Awards, which your hosts like to call the “Boyfriend Awards” highlight our discerning taste. It’s just that some hosts are more discerning than others.

We answer our first mailbag questions, this one about Christian Yelich and launch angle. Patti somehow makes it about Venn diagrams.

Pottymouth gleefully quotes Aaron “Frickin’” Boone (not his real name) in all of his colorful “Bronx Savages” glory, and we spend a few minutes wondering if a new slur has been added to MLB team names, and where was the umpire’s union outraged tweet this time?

The Angels’ Noe Ramirez throws at Jake Marisnik’s head, but he can’t reach him up there on the high road. Ramirez is suspended for three games, AJ Hinch’s beef is “They need to hit guys the right way,” and Manny Machado gets partial credit for calling it like he sees it.

The Grooming Segment is back as we congratulate Blue Jays rookie catcher Danny Jensen for going 2-2 with the mustache shave.

It’s always Women in Baseball week here at No Crying in Baseball, but this time the calendar agrees. The Association of Professional Ball Players of America welcomed all women from the AAGPBL into its membership. The Oakland A’s showcased Baseball for All and introduced local middle-school girls to women baseball execs and Pottymouth challenges other MLB teams to step up in supporting girls.

There’s a disturbance in the Fantasy Boyfriend Baseball League. Patti has taken over the #3 spot. Huh.

We Actually Rooted for the Yankees

Voxtopica — Tue, 16 Jul 2019 12:00:00 -0400

The Pulaski Yankees, that is. Patti and the Pottymouth road-tripped again, this time to Pulaski, VA (as Patti says, go to Roanoke and then keep going). After her interview in Episode 77, “Puig Fuels the Fracas,” GM Betsy Haugh invited your hosts to enjoy Ag Night at Calfee Field. She promised cows, and cows there were. Betsy was gracious enough to chat with us again after our day at the Best Rookie-level Ballpark in the country to check in on her first year as GM, almost halfway through the season.

The Angels worked magic in honor of their late teammate Tyler Skaggs, throwing a combined no-no their first game back after the break. The moment that will be remembered though, is the tribute paid by his teammates, laying their jerseys (all bearing Skaggs’ number 45) on the pitcher’s mound after their victory.

We got through an entire segment on injuries to catchers without invoking the Buster Posey Rule, until will did. The horrifying Jonathan Lucroy/Jake Marisnick collision resulted in a broken nose, a serious concussion, a two game suspension, and a boyfriend on boyfriend smackdown between Pottymouth’s ex, Yadier Molina, and her current Astros BF, Carlos Correa. Separately, catcher BF Francisco Cervelli, recovering from concussion #6, gets into it with a journalist over his future.

Only one trade deadline this year, and Patti explains it all while happily scratching the words “non-waiver deadline” off of the vocabulary list.

Oh, and we drop names like Joan Jett, Christian Yelich, and Ronald Acuna, Jr. when we wrap up our All-Star Weekend adventure. But that buffet was Not For Us.

Party at Napoli’s

Voxtopica — Tue, 09 Jul 2019 12:00:00 -0400

Patti and the Pottymouth fangirled in Cleveland over the All-Star Break. Patti cried meeting Omar Vizquel (“I love Omar”) and Pottymouth stammered during the No Crying in Baseball / Mike Napoli sandwich photo. Mike “Human Rain Delay” Hargrove demonstrated his moves. Your hosts danced at a Killers’ show and provided structural support to their fan base. Evidence of this and more on all of our social media sites.

We tried to pull silver linings out of a lot of terrible situations this week. Angels pitcher Tyler Skaggs died unexpectedly, and best friend Patrick Corbin pitched the game of his life while wearing his friend’s jersey number. Cookie Carrasco announced his leukemia diagnosis, and the Cleveland team rallies, and rallies around him. Rob Manfred’s office suspends Odubel Herrera for the rest of the season in its second most severe penalty for violation of the leagues’ Domestic Abuse policy, showing they are at last getting tough.

Finally, we conduct our monthly check-in on our season predictions and plan a field trip to see the Pulaski Yankees.

Don’t Pull a Puig in London

Voxtopica — Tue, 02 Jul 2019 12:00:00 -0400

Patti and The Pottymouth are packing their bags for All-Star Weekend in Cleveland, the land of Patti’s birth. There’s a happy dance for Anthony Rendon finally making the team and a check-in on who we are looking forward to seeing in the Big Game. The Cleveland Team and MLB are investing long-term in the community — it pays to host the All-Star Game. But before we leave, there’s a grooming segment. Fernando Tatis, Jr. is coming along nicely, thank you very much.

Russell Martin is the second best pitcher on Patti’s team, only he’s a catcher.

The London Series just left Pottymouth with questions and sadness — Why did Gio Urshela pull a Puig? ARod without Big Papi just ain’t right. And why didn’t her hometown of Boston come through for her? Speaking of Yasiel Puig, your hosts give Pedro Strop a harsh talking to about his inappropriate in seven ways NSFW characterization.

Patti’s head explodes when the Orioles, her “other” AL team, create MLB history by shutting out Cleveland, her primary AL team, in emphatic fashion. Twice.

There’s a support group for people seriously injured by foul balls, and if the Dodgers don’t quit talking and start doing, it’s only going to get bigger.

We celebrate girls in baseball with the Maria Pepe Series, cross-train with Women’s World Cup Soccer, mention Curaçao, and reference green adult beverages more than once, because that’s how we roll.

The White Sox and The Nationals are in First Place

Voxtopica — Tue, 25 Jun 2019 12:00:00 -0400

Breaking up is hard to do. Cleveland broke up with Leonys Martin, and so must Pottymouth. Patti and the Nationals say goodbye to Trevor Rosenthal, he of the formerly infinite ERA.

The Chicago White Sox and the Washington Nationals are the first to take the next step in extending protective netting. In the same week that another fan seated just beyond the dugout netting in Dodger Stadium was hit in the head by a foul ball, this one off the bat of the hottest hitter in the league, Cody Bellinger, teams are finally moving to improve fan safety. The White Sox were first to announce foul pole to foul pole netting, to be installed later this summer. The Nats plan to install new high-tech mesh during the All-Star Break reaching well into the outfield.

Manny Machado drops f-bombs and flings his bat, the Umpire’s union plays fast and loose with loaded hashtags and legal terms, and Joe Torre cries foul.

Tampa Bay Rays were given permission by the League to explore splitting time with Montreal. Never gonna happen for so many reasons, but points for thinking outside the box, and making “Tampontreal Ex-Rays” a thing people say out loud.

We did Just Fine with our primary all-star picks.

So much better than Just Fine is the wise and wonderful Perry Barber: umpire, role-model, advocate for girls and women participating in baseball in any and all capacities. Perry took time off during her cross-country drive between the Girls Breakthrough Series in Florida, and the SABR conference in San Diego, to report out from the Breakthrough Series and share some life lessons.

Pottymouth Votes for Mike Trout. Because of Weather.

Voxtopica — Tue, 18 Jun 2019 12:00:00 -0400

When did stealing home get to be a thing? Current boyfriend Leonys Martin just did it, and so did former boyfriend Elvis Andrus, and even never-gonna-be-a-boyfriend Rougned Odor. We can’t get enough of that.

Patti can totally get enough of home runs, however. The pace is scary, and too much of a good thing is boring. The ball is juiced and she can prove it with just one statistic. Baseball science. Er, math.

Pottymouth’s David Ortiz update includes mystery and intrigue, a surprisingly affordable hit, a great deal of relief, and apparently no HIPAA regulations in the Dominican Republic.

Continuing the tradition of rock-solid logic in All-Star picks, Pottymouth selects Mike Trout specifically so he can explain why it rained when it wasn’t supposed to at the Nats game last Thursday. She picks Tommy Pham for his pottymouth (whereas Patti picks him for the much classier slamming of Tampa Bay fans), and actually selects a Baltimore Oriole, Trey Mancini, for his hype video. Hell did freeze over just then. Patti adds Michael Brantley, and also last year’s Twins BF Byron Buxton because this year he is actually awesome.

Over in the NL, Patti and Pottymouth agree on Christian Yelich and Cody Bellinger, while Pottymouth adds hometown BF Juan Soto and Patti roots for most-improved Scott Kingery.

Pottymouth goes with JD Martinez in the “DH” category, which Patti firmly believes is not a real thing. When pressed to pick someone anyway, she goes with Hunter Pence, mainly because he hit a ridiculous inside the park homer at Fenway.

The Girls Baseball Breakthrough Series happened this weekend. This may be the pipeline we’ve been looking for.

And Obi-Sean Kenobi is the best bobblehead in the galaxy.

Keuchel and Kimbrel Keep Their Beards

Voxtopica — Tue, 11 Jun 2019 12:00:00 -0400

The Nationals do Pride right, but Patti may still write a letter about rainbow jerseys. Big Papi, David Ortiz, heads to Boston for medical care after the shooting in Santa Domingo. Elvis Andrus gets in one more head rub, and a bathrobe, as the Rangers retire Adrian Beltre’s number.

The long strange trip of this year’s Free Agency season has finally come to an end. It only took until the Draft. Craig Kimbrel signs with the Cubs thanks to the thriftiness of having Zobrist on the restricted list (vocabulary alert!). Dallas Keuchel is off to the Braves to keep him away from the rest of the NL East. And everyone keeps their beards!

Patti and the Pottymouth give their All-Star Infield picks, leaning heavily on Boyfriends past and present but not completely. Hello Carlos Santana, Rafael Devers, Matt Chapman, Jorge Polanco (we still see you, Twins), and Josh Bell.

This week’s cross-training includes a Pride parade, Stanley Cup champion goalie Braden Holtby, the NBA, a Game Seven, and our new best friend Gerardo Parra.

Thoughts, Prayers, and Protective Netting

Voxtopica — Tue, 04 Jun 2019 12:00:00 -0400

Is it drafty in here? Pottymouth 1) overviews the MLB draft process in which >1200 high school and college boys get a shot at their dreams, 2) plays the tiny violins for the Orioles yet again, and 3) explains why this is the week Dallas Keuchel and Craig Kimbrel will finally get signed.

Patti goes on a rant just this side of PG-13 about protective netting. Yet another child was sent to the hospital after being struck by a 90 mph line drive foul ball. Tragic, and easily preventable. Stop blaming victims and call your team, and the league, and demand foul pole to foul pole netting.

Odubel Herrera joins the Never Gonna Be a Boyfriend list with last week’s arrest for assault. MLB is investigating, fans are weighing in, and the Phillies will need to decide whether or not to eat the $24 million dollars remaining on his contract. Hello, Jay Bruce.

Patti apologizes to the Minnesota Twins early and often as she and the Pottymouth check in on their pre-season predictions. The long game is paying off with their division picks, but individual awards are, um, not in the ballpark. And the Twins are everywhere. We see you now, and are deeply sorry for not paying attention sooner.

Also: Vote 5x a day in the All Star Primary, and don’t miss the one day Starter Election. RIP Bill Buckner. Please stop beaning Tim Anderson.

It’s Pride Month. Go to a Night Out game. We are.

Barack Obama is the Best Baseball Boyfriend

Voxtopica — Tue, 28 May 2019 12:00:00 -0400

Former President Barack Obama hits a first-pitch double, completes a touchdown pass, buys organic produce and recognizes greatness in the children attending after-school programs at the Nationals Baseball Academy. Damn, he sets the Baseball Boyfriend bar high.

Christian Yelich cross-trains hard, attending a Milwaukee Bucks game with some Green Bay Packers and chugging arena beer like a native son. Josh Bell is hitting homers hard and often. Patti’s Phillies BF Jean Segura went 16 games into a hit streak. She does like them reliable. David “baby” Dahl of the Rockies is Pottymouth’s only boyfriend to crack the top 20 for batting average, which may explain her current fantasy league standings.

Mike Yaztremski and Cavan Biggio both debuted this week, continuing family legacies and making some Hall of Famers proud.

The Baltimore Orioles are part of home run history three different ways this week. None of them good. See Gleyber Torres, Nolan Arenado, and the 2000 Kansas City Royals.

Pottymouth leads the Baseball Math segment (you read that right) by proposing we rename the 10 and 60 day ILs into Short Term and Long Term injury lists. Why? Because the numbers don’t mean what you think they mean.

Lastly, Patti checks in on progress with the Shred Hate anti-bullying program co-sponsored by MLB, XGames, and ESPN. There seems to be a glaring lack of curriculum around the bullying of LGBTQ kids, and the guys that are leading by example may be worth re-examining.

Please visit Patreon to become an NCIB Sponsor and gain access to full interviews and bonus content. Remember to subscribe to the show through your favorite podcast app so you never miss an episode. Rate, review, tell your friends, and see you next week!

Ian Kinsler Out-Pottymouths the Pottymouth

Voxtopica — Tue, 21 May 2019 12:00:00 -0400

Today’s baseball math includes Victor Robles + Matt Grace = Patti, and Patti + Matt Grace = Gerardo Parra. Yes, it is a birthday / no GoT spoilers show. Matt Olson proves the hamate is the appendix of the hand. Leonys Martin says thank you and Ian Kinsler says F-you, much to Pottymouth’s delight. SI typecasts Patti, with Jason Heyward on her fantasy team. Your hosts propose expanding “hit for the cycle” to include mathematical and wildcard cycles. We celebrate Diamilette Quiles as she breaks the glass diamond (still working on the metaphor) to play on the highest level men’s team in Puerto Rico. We close with highlights from the Q&A following Cami Kidder’s premiere showing of Throw Like A Girl.

Gerardo Parra is Our New Best Friend

Voxtopica — Tue, 14 May 2019 12:00:00 -0400

Where was Michael Brantley when Patti had a flat tire? Turns out he was rescuing other strangers in distress closer to Minute Maid Park, as boyfriends do. Pottymouth’s old Dodger BF Kiké Hernandez works some magic for her new BF Justin Turner. Addison Frickin’ Russell is back. The Panda = Mudcat+Bees. Albert Pujols historic RBI mark set off a new set of NCIB Rules, this time on catching baseballs in the stands. Gerardo Parra announces his arrival with the Nats with sexy defense and a slam. In part 2 of our interview with Jenn Rubenstein of Queer Fancy Stats, we discuss LGBTQ Nights Out at Ballparks, why they are important, and who does them right.

Getting Fancy with the Stats

Voxtopica — Tue, 07 May 2019 12:00:00 -0400

Patti and the Pottymouth welcome Jenn Rubenstein of @QueerFancyStats to talk using gmLI, wOBA, and spreadsheets in the service of good. Through Jenn, the mad baseball skills of MLB homophobes generate donations to local LGBTQ organizations, as do successes of exemplary community leaders like National’s closer Sean Doolittle. This week’s cross-training segment looks at gender, and gender equity, from court decisions about Olympian Caster Semenya’s testosterone level to the #forthegame movement in women’s professional hockey. Pottymouth takes a Cinco de Mayo visit to the Angels/Astros Mexico Series, C.C. Sabathia channels his inner (and outer) Yoda, and El Wombo should expect a call from the Commish.

Carter Kieboom and Vlad, Jr.: The Kids Get to Play!

Voxtopica — Tue, 30 Apr 2019 12:00:00 -0400

Two #1 prospects got the call this past weekend and Vladimir Guerrero, Jr. and Carter Kieboom did NOT disappoint. The Youthquake hit Nats Park as Juan Soto and Victor Robles joined Kieboom in homering in the same game, making history. Patti and the Pottymouth check in on their predictions a month in, and learn they are Not Good At This and perhaps should have thought about Cody Bellinger some more. In the occasional NCiB rules segment, we offer helpful hints on dressing for ballgames, home and away, compulsory rally caps, and some “because we care” mom tips. Our newest best friend, Kristen Atwell, GM of the Greeneville Reds, impresses us so much that the DC-Tennessee commute suddenly seems reasonable. For those keeping score, we’ve moved on from cattle to cats.

All Flip, No Drill: Standing with Tim Anderson

Voxtopica — Tue, 23 Apr 2019 12:00:00 -0400

Patti and The Pottymouth set up the context around the Tim Anderson fracas/ruckus/bruhaha. Can’t ignore that he’s the only African-American player on the White Sox. Shockingly, we come out on the side of Kids Today, and agreeing with Trevor Bauer. We welcome very special guest Emily Jaenson, General Manager of the Reno Aces, who tells us what it takes to run a Triple A affiliate. By the end of the show, our to-do list includes shopping for “Los Corazones de Reno” swag, calling Southwest Airlines, contacting MLB with a demand to see the spreadsheet listing perceived infractions and their consequences, and writing Yahoo!Sports to ask why they are still using “DL.”

“If Trevor Rosenthal Pitches to Chris Davis” is So Last Week

Voxtopica — Tue, 16 Apr 2019 12:00:00 -0400

Trevor Rosenthal records three outs and Chris Davis has a three hit game, and all the best memes are over. It turns out that Ozzie Albies’ team-friendly extension is not just about his choices, but the ripple effect changes how other players are valued. Patti and Pottymouth have a friendly homerun smackdown over their picks for National League RoY, Pete Alonzo and Fernado Tatis, Jr, respectively. Pottymouth provides a rundown on the Trailblazer Series, where MLB is actively encouraging girls to play baseball. Patti follows up last week’s Booing Rules with a helpful Catcall Corollary. And it is up to you to guess which host assigned cross-training homework and which one said “shotski.” Tough one.

Puig Fuels the Fracas

Voxtopica — Tue, 09 Apr 2019 12:00:00 -0400

Patti comes This Close to swearing like a sailor when Trump calls off MLB’s agreement with Cuba. Boyfriend Ronald Acuña, Jr. signs a deal for life-changing money, Christian Yelich becomes a spokesmodel for good in the world, and David Price wants to see Mookie Betts’ face everywhere. This week’s baseball math takes us to infinity and beyond with Trevor Rosenthal’s impossible ERA. Yasiel Puig clears the benches, fuels the fracas, and re-ups the ruckus. Not sure when it is permissible to boo? We’ve got you covered. Betsy Haugh, General Manager of the Pulaski Yankees, tells us of her path to leadership in MiLB, the importance of women mentoring other women in front office gigs, and the advanced rookie league promotion not to be missed. Hint: it involves Pets or Meat, and a field trip. Pottymouth has a backyard and Patti has a freezer.

Pottymouth Keeps it PG-13

Voxtopica — Tue, 02 Apr 2019 12:00:00 -0400

Pottymouth has the power to break up no-hitters while eating pizza, but Patti can’t get out of walk-up music hell. Christian Yelich just keeps hitting home runs, Yandy Diaz doesn’t need no stinkin’ launch angle, and catcher Russell Martin pitches a 1-2-3 inning for the Dodgers. Did Patti put him in the wrong category in the Fantasy Boyfriend League? Your hosts offer their playoff and award predictions. Surprising no one, Pottymouth says “Red Sox” a lot, but not as much as Patti says “math” and “science.” Finally, we meet almost-12 yr old Shalvah Lazarus, from DC Girls Baseball. If her pitching and skills at first base come anywhere near her passion and poise as an ambassador for the game, opposing teams should fear DC Force.

How many Margaritas can I get for this Chihuahua?

Voxtopica — Tue, 26 Mar 2019 12:00:00 -0400

Patti cross-trains for Opening Day by rocking her March Madness bracket. Pottymouth warms up with early morning baseball in Japan (thanks for everything, Ichiro). Fernando Tatis Jr is Johnny Hustle, but he doesn’t make the Opening Day roster. Matt Olsen was set to be Patti’s starting 1B, until he had hamate surgery. Yes, that’s a real thing. We’re all about fun facts and contract extensions this week, for superstar Mike Trout, for on-the-verge-of greatness Alex Bregman, and for Eloy “hasn’t even had a cup of coffee yet” Jimenez. Verlander and Sale also extend their stays, because what if they are Keuchel and not Corbin? Pottymouth gives a Spanish lesson around La Copa de Diversión, the “Fun Cup.” Also a thing.

MLB Makes Teams Hock Up Their Loogies

Voxtopica — Tue, 19 Mar 2019 12:00:00 -0400

Pottymouth is in Ted Williams heaven and Patti wallows at the top of the Misery Index as we kick off the St. Patti’s Day show. The Blue Jays make some excellent promises around minor league pay. Astros manager AJ Hinch wins the dubious honor of the first premature ejection of the (pre)season, Bryce Harper makes news by falling down and getting back up, and both Adam Jones and Carlos Gonzalez land safe and sound. We share our starting lineups for our Fantasy Boyfriend Baseball League and invite you to play along. We break down the new rule changes, from the big deals to the barely shrug-worthy. Season 3 of No Crying in Baseball starts with a LOOGY and a Zoom-Zoom.

We Say “A-Rod” and “Mets” Way Too Many Times

Voxtopica — Tue, 12 Mar 2019 12:00:00 -0400

Daylight Savings Time and breakfast beer render us incapable of avoiding Alex Rodriquez’s engagement to Jennifer Lopez. We send our best to Tom Seaver of the Miracle Mets. Omnivore Patti explains to vegetarian Pottymouth why it is totally reasonable for Joe Kelly to suffer back problems after staffing a five-hour crawfish boil. We raise our breakfast beer to our girl, Jessica Mendoza, on her new gig with the Mets. Pottymouth claims the Cardinals pitching squad for her Fantasy team, with specific nods to Carlos “Tsunami” Martinez and Mike Mikolas. Patti keeps the Nationals and welcomes Patrick Corbin, Anibal Sanchez, and Trevor Rosenthal to the family. MLB Grit showcases the best of female high school baseball players. And vocabulary lessons are back with “service time.” You’ll need it when discussing the Jrs, Vlad, and Tatis.

Patti Wears her Bryce Harper Shirt for the Last Time

Voxtopica — Tue, 05 Mar 2019 12:00:00 -0500

We get past the feels to discuss the bigger picture of Bryce Harper’s record-setting agreement with the Phillies. Nolan Arenado also breaks contract records this week with his 8-year extension with the Rockies. What do these deals mean for other superstars? Ronald Guzman adopts a condor and starts a trend. Pottymouth uses her “keep one boyfriend” card on Mookie “Pookie” Betts, and Patti owes her a Jackie Wilson tutorial after selecting Jackie Bradley Jr. for her Red Sox boyfriend. There was no doubt that Pottymouth would pick Lorenzo Cain, and Patti would claim Christian Yelich as Brewer’s boyfriends. You’ve met us, right? Patti says “Magnum, P.I.” Our special guest is “El Profe” Adrian Burgos from La Vida Baseball, who has our dream job. Mostly.

#71 - Spring Training for the Pitch Clock Guy

Voxtopica — Tue, 26 Feb 2019 12:00:00 -0500

Patti and the Pottymouth bask in the glow of watching our boys in the first spring training games. The dying embers of the hot stove bring us a Machado Free Agency object lesson, and a soft landing for Mike Moustakas. Predictably, Patti chooses Dr. Smooth, Michael Brantley, as her Astros boyfriend, while Pottymouth goes for young superstar Carlos Correa, of the World Series marriage proposal. Pottymouth makes Patti’s head spin by how fast she changes sides on the “stupid loser” twitterspat once she picks Kris Bryant as her Cubs guy. Patti can’t resist Cubs outfielder Jason Heyward, of the greatest rain delay weight room speech of all time, even though it broke her heart. Spring training is not long enough to get the damn pitch clock rules right. And it is time to join our Fantasy Boyfriend Baseball League! Who’s in?

#70 - Pottymouth Just Keeps Apologizing

Voxtopica — Tue, 19 Feb 2019 12:00:00 -0500

In just one episode, Pottymouth apologizes to Carlos Asuaje, C.C. Sabathia, and Francisco Cervelli, and says “interpretive dance” and “papiamentu” while Patti condones inspirational quotes and uses “Cutie Pie” in a sports context. Hell has indeed frozen over. Max Scherzer, Jake Arietta, and Christian Yelich call foul on the free agency season. Yankee Boyfriends are not an easy sell to NCiB, so Pottymouth selected a Curaçaoan with a kickass mom, Didi Gregorious, and Patti chose barely even a Yankee yet DJ LaMahieu. Over in Pittsburgh, Cervelli feels sexy and Erik Gonzalez’s passion is on fire so how could they not be our boyfriends? Our Belizean Baseball pals are back to talk coconut rum and baseball without borders.

#69 - Patti Wants to Pick a Fight

Voxtopica — Tue, 12 Feb 2019 12:00:00 -0500

Frank Robinson was a hero to your NCiB hosts, for Cleveland, for Baltimore, for Washington, and for Puerto Rico. RIP, Frank. MLB makes an excellent wording change. Pottymouth won’t let Patti pick a DH fight, yet. Maybe next week. Pottymouth continues building a Curaçaoan-heavy boyfriend team with her pick of A’s shortstop Jurickson Profar. Patti counters with Oakland’s breakout home run king Matt Olsen. Farther South in Dodgerland, Pottymouth shows generous Ginger Beard Justin Turner some love, and Patti takes advantage of the Blue Jays trade to select veteran catcher Russell Martin. Just before signing off to catch the Caribbean Series championship game, we make friends with Tony Smith and Coach Drew Tramel of the Belize Visionary Foundation of Baseball. They’ve got real passion for bringing baseball back to Belize, for kids and adults alike, and your hosts are working out how to make a site visit happen.

#68 - You Had Me at Baby Dahl

Voxtopica — Tue, 05 Feb 2019 12:00:00 -0500

Patti and the Pottymouth enjoy a civilized baseball conversation just hours before the football screaming begins.
Nolan Arenado’s one year deal at the arbitration deadline sets a new record, and talks of a contract extension may save him from free agency drama.
Our hometown Nationals get props for stellar execution of the offseason, no matter what Harper decides, while many teams just don’t seem to care. Pottymouth puts the Red Sox on notice that even diehard fans like her have their limits -- wtf are they doing signing a player who was banned “for life?”
Jose Bautista’s home run ball from the most famous bat flip in history nets a fortune at auction.
Cleveland BFs include “most improved” Leonys Martin and Jose Ramirez of the small stature and big bat. Pottymouth chooses David “Baby” Dahl of the Rockies and Patti cheats a little and goes with Mark “not Matt” Reynolds, the human highlight reel from her favorite Nats game of last season. No really, he’s back with Colorado now. Are you watching the Caribbean Series yet?

#67 - Butts and Biceps

Voxtopica — Tue, 29 Jan 2019 12:00:00 -0500

A.J. Pollock signs before those other guys. The Tampa Bay Rays tell their shrinking fan base that their cash is not welcome at Tropicana Field. The Red Sox kick their White House visit further down the road. “Utility player” doesn’t mean what it used to mean, in the new world order of the shift, no ground balls, and a big fat bullpen. In a surprising turn of events, Pottymouth picks a nice guy, Daniel Robertson, and Patti goes for Cuban defector and “most jacked player in baseball” Yandy Diaz, as their Rays BFs. Your hosts almost flipped a coin to determine who picks Ozzie Albies (Pottymouth → Curaçao and Brazilian jumpsuits were the determining factor), and who names 2018 Rookie of the Year Ronald Acuña Jr. (Patti → Let the Kids Play!) her Braves BF. They are practically brothers so double dating is not out of the question. NCiB is killing it with the Winter League picks, but will Venezuelan political upheaval cancel the Caribbean Series?

#66 - Babe Ruth, Deion Sanders, Thor and Loki

Voxtopica — Tue, 22 Jan 2019 12:00:00 -0500

In her continuing quest to encourage the watching of winter baseball, Pottymouth teaches Patti Spanish baseball words. Adam Ottavino throws shade at Babe Ruth. Will Kyler Murray listen to Deion Sanders? The hot stove has cooled so much we pay attention to a “stupid loser” spat. We forget one or two of the five tools, but Pottymouth’s Mariner’s boyfriend, Mitch Haniger, has six. Patti did not pick J.P. Crawford just because he named his dogs after Marvel superheroes, but she could have. Pottymouth selects “Big Bear” Marcell Ozuna and Patti goes with supernerd Paul DeJong as Cardinals boyfriends. Pottymouth presents her case for which teams NCIB should back in the Winter League finals, and Patti buys her impeccable logic. What could possibly go wrong?

#65 - Pottymouth finds a Dream Job

Voxtopica — Tue, 15 Jan 2019 12:00:00 -0500

Pottymouth’s Twittertale finally makes Patti stop defending Trevor Bauer. Yasmani Grandal puts a spark to the hot stove, and Kyler Murray brings back memories of Bo Jackson and Dieon Sanders. We both abandon our initial inclination to bend the rules for Shohei Ohtani and instead select Andrelton Simmons and Justin Upton as Angels boyfriends. Pottymouth gets to flaunt her Curaçao chops and Patti gets to say “I love Omar” and “hockey” in the same segment. Pottymouth’s pick of Juan Soto for her National’s BF is the gateway to applying for a job with the Nats as an ESOL teacher. Patti uses her “keep one boyfriend” card to double down on Nats third basemen Anthony Rendon. Without mentioning his killer smile or very strong wrists.

#64 - Redemption

Voxtopica — Tue, 08 Jan 2019 12:00:00 -0500

Today’s vocabulary word is “cazatalentos” as MLB scouts visit the Cuba finals for the first time. Nearly 200 free agents are waiting for Harper and Machado to get on with it already so they can have a turn. Both our Twins boyfriends have been suspended for drug use, PED or otherwise. Kinda Pottymouth’s wheelhouse, but Patti? Come, on! Eddie Rosario wins Pottymouth over with hurricane relief and visiting his teachers in Puerto Rico. Nelson Cruz hits the Patti trifecta with Boomsticks, firetrucks, and voter registration. Diamondback BFs have blingy, swingy pasts but have got their games in gear. Ketel Marte sends baseball equipment to the Dominican Republic. Steven Souza, Jr. never has to do anything again after saving that Jordan Zimmerman no-hitter.

#63 - We Warned You, Sabathia

Voxtopica — Tue, 01 Jan 2019 12:00:00 -0500

CC Sabathia gets that unearned bonus and almost has a heart attack. We were THIS CLOSE in our predictions. We can’t completely shake our Dominican infielder boyfriend rut, but we add the Dad factor. For the Rangers, Pottymouth selects Yankee-killer Ronald Guzman, and Patti goes with super nice dude Scott Heineman. Closer to home, Pottymouth gets Phillies catcher Jorge Alfaro for real this time, and Patti takes newly-acquired All-Star Jean Segura, forcing her to say nice things about Robinson Cano. MLB and the Cuban Baseball Federation come to an agreement cutting out the smugglers and the peril and the defections to allow Cubans to play in the US, and players already here to go home again. Pottymouth then wanders off to watch winter baseball and Patti crosstrains with professional football. Go, Browns.

#62 - You Throw Like a Girl

Voxtopica — Tue, 18 Dec 2018 12:00:00 -0500

Patti and Pottymouth find a soulmate in Cami Kidder, director and producer of the upcoming documentary, “Throw Like a Girl.” Any story that starts in Red Sox fantasy camp and moves on to 11-year-old girls taking on the baseball patriarchy is okay by us. Before the interview, Patti defends Wyoming, for the first time ever, and later fesses up that Wyoming native Brandon Nimmo, that Smile Guy, is her Mets boyfriend. Luke Maile replaces Benny as her BF from the Greater Cincinnati area that plays for Not-Reds. Pottymouth formally claims Baby Piña, Lourdes Gurriel, Jr. as her Blue Jays boyfriend, in a tale that includes the 1992 Olympics, human smuggling, and great hair. She restores balance to the world with Michael “Scooter” Conforto of the Mets, by way of synchronized swimming.

#61 - Pottymouth is a Red Sox Magnet

Junto Media — Tue, 11 Dec 2018 12:00:00 -0500

Are the Diamondbacks and Mariners already tanking on purpose? Why else would Paul Goldschmidt get shipped off to St. Louis? The Nationals say thanks for Patrick Corbin, BTW. Jean Segura’s trip to the Phillies nails the Seattle coffin shut. It’s too early for this nonsense. The word of the day is “waivers.” Pottymouth turns down Brandon Dixon for the second straight week, picking Christin Gaylin Harris Stewart as her Tigers BF. She then replaces Brandon Crawford with Brandon Belt on her Giants dance card. Are you seeing this? Patti’s new Tiger’s pick, Niko Goodrum, hits the BF trifecta, and Alen Hanson is her fast and lucky Giants guy. MLB may be walking the walk of improving opportunities for women. And Cubs manager Joe Maddon says some of the right things about Addison Russell and teams taking blame and responsibility as well as credit for the actions of their players. We reflect on the tragic loss of Luis Valbuena & Jose Castillo.

#60 - Love Me (non) Tender

Junto Media — Tue, 04 Dec 2018 12:00:00 -0500

Patti and the Pottymouth acknowledge the passing of former Yale Baseball Captain George Herbert Walker Bush, who earns major cred for keeping his college glove oiled and ready in a desk drawer in the Oval Office. The Mets make a monster trade for Robinson Cano, leading us to wonder about Brodie Van Wagenen’s reach. Jonathan Schoop, Billy Hamilton, and others get “non-tendered” which is one weird verb. Pottymouth activates “text-a-friend” to identify White Sox boyfriend and nonstop noise machine Yolmer Sanchez. Patti finds herself set up on a blind date with lying-with-exact-figures/power hitter Daniel Palka. Our Venezuelan infielder rut provides Reds BFs Jose Peraza and “Good Guy” Eugenio Suarez. Lastly, we cheer on Steph Curry for using his power for the good of girls and then wish we were surprised by the tone-deaf ugly of the Washington Football Team.

#59 - Fly Like An Eagle

Junto Media — Tue, 27 Nov 2018 12:00:00 -0500

Big Sexy Bartolo Colon is pitching with the Eagles, which sounds like a metaphor but really we’re just waiting for him to come back from the Dominican League. Adrian Beltre achieves Boyfriend Emeritus status and we still aren’t allowed to touch his head. Jose Bautista’s bat flip inspires an entomologist and today’s baseball science segment. Big Maple James Paxton is pitching with the eagles, which sounds like a metaphor but really it’s about the Yankees and wildlife. Pottymouth introduces Alex Gordon and Fernando Tatis, Jr., and Patti presents Brian Goodwin and Jose Pirela as their Royals and Padres boyfriends.

#58 - Our Baseball Boyfriends Are Back

Junto Media — Tue, 20 Nov 2018 12:00:00 -0500

Pottymouth’s wrap-up of the MLB All-Stars series gives her the last opportunity of 2018 to say Zoom Zoom AND Ginger Beard in the same segment (you have to see John Brebbia’s face to believe it). Patti works Red Sox and Women’s Hockey into the same sentence as Sox VP Raquel Ferreira drops the ceremonial first puck at a Boston Pride game. Recently fired Seattle Mariners exec Lorena Martin and the team are in an epic She Said/They Said over Martin’s accusations of racist and sexist actions by Mariner’s top brass. Condoleeza Rice is the subject of the best debunked Women in Professional Sports Rumor ever. It’s new boyfriend time! Pottymouth finds the O’s Jonathan Villar through both the high road (his mom!) and the low road (butt tag!). Patti arrives at Cedric Mullins through her admiration of Adam Jones and her nostalgic lead-off hitter crush on Kenny Lofton. The Marlins will be in new uniforms and new hashtags this year #ourcolores. Pottymouth phones a friend to select Miami’s Victor Victor Mesa, and Patti tentatively claims Austin Dean, as the answer to the trivia question, “Who fell victim to Max Scherzer’s 300th strikeout in 2018”

#57 - Fire up the Hot Stove

Junto Media — Tue, 13 Nov 2018 12:00:00 -0500

Patti and the Pottymouth give the rundown on how their boyfriends ranked in Gold Gloves, Silver Slugger (JD Martinez wins two! In one year! Stupid DH…), Wilson Defensive Player, Golden Globes, Oscars, Peoples Choice… Mookie Betts wins everything he can win. Freddy Freeman has a good showing too.

Patti sets up your themes to watch for this Hot Stove season: Qualifying offers (Mike Moustakas was teachable moment), Old Guy Free Agents, Pitching strategy. Pottymouth gets to say “Zoom Zoom” as the MLB All Stars take on the Samurai Japan and Jaun Soto can’t stop hitting the roof of the dome. Can we please have umpire cam? Female staff at MLB headquarters host women undergrads from NYU, but still no women GMs.

#56 - Big Papi and The Pottymouth Call the World Series

Junto Media — Tue, 30 Oct 2018 12:00:00 -0400

Pottymouth cries actual tears of joy and admiration for her Red Sox and their rookie manager, Alex Cora. Patti curls up under the stress blanket. It’s the great baseball detox of 2018. Buehler. There’s a World Series Boyfriend recap, where we admit Mookie Betts, Andrew Benintendi, Kiké Hernandez, and Matt Kemp were not the heroes, but they still did us proud. And are still a little adorable (cheers!). Everyone from the President to the LA fans throw shade at Dave Roberts, but Patti explains how it is all a big misunderstanding. Pottymouth is having none of it. Buehler. Mr. Pottymouth offers a formula for when it is safe to go to sleep when extra innings just keep coming. Patti insists on vocabulary lessons, even in the post-series glow, so there’s Runner’s Lane Interference and Hit and Run. Buehler. And F*ck Machado is the new Jeter Hate.

#55 - 2018 World Series Update v.1

Junto Media — Fri, 26 Oct 2018 09:25:55 -0400

Patti and the Pottymouth check in with a bonus show on the first World Series travel day. The Boston Ballet rates Andrew Benintendi’s Game 2 grand jeté a 9 out of 10, while Mookie Betts gives new meaning to Taco Tuesday. Patti’s Dodger BF Matt Kemp hits his team’s only WS home run so far, and Pottymouth really almost wants to see Kike Hernandez do well. Ish. The Red Sox are killing it with two strikes, and also with two outs. Dave Roberts is taking heat for not starting his lefty bats, but the Dodger problems are so much bigger. It’s not just the rainbows over Fenway that make Outsports call this the gayest World Series ever. And f*ck Machado.

#54 - Manny Machado will Never Be Our Boyfriend

Junto Media — Tue, 23 Oct 2018 12:00:00 -0400

Patti and the Pottymouth play the mom card over Jose Altuve’s “bravery” in playing while seriously hurt, falling for Chris Sale’s belly button ring diagnosis, and wanting to keep that nice Cody Bellinger away from bad influences disguised as the cool kids in the Dodger dugout. Fingers crossed that our Dodger boyfriends Matt Kemp and Kiké Hernandez get some playing time in the Series. We are all in for Craig Counsell and Christian Yelich throwing shade at Manny Machado who will NEVER be our boyfriend. Alex Cora is all in for Craig Kimbrel despite the heart attacks. We talk fan interference and That Call, plus the history of cheating in baseball from telescopes to electric shocks, mascots, and cellphones. And just in time for Game 1, our World Series Predictions. No really, who thinks Pottymouth picks the Red Sox?

#53 - Postseason Strategery

Junto Media — Tue, 16 Oct 2018 12:00:00 -0400

Patti and the Pottymouth bring the strategery this week. Patti explains how lefty/righty matchups and situational pitching are key to the Brewers strategy against the Dodgers. Pottymouth explains Chris Sale’s no-sleeve strategy and how that may play out in the Red Sox/Astros series.

We catch you up on our postseason boyfriends including the movement to Let Kiké Hernandez Catch, and how Mike Moustakas is Mr. Reliable and George Springer is the new Mr. October. Astros reliever Ryan Pressley makes the Dickhead list by swearing at a Cleveland fan heckling Roberto Osuna over his domestic abuse charges.

Pottymouth offers some alternatives to watching the MLB postseason games like the Arizona Fall League and Mexico’s Winter League. And Patti hates the reason she gets to talk about hockey this week.

#52 - Pot is Legal and We Like Purple

Junto Media — Tue, 09 Oct 2018 12:00:00 -0400

Patti and the Pottymouth run the remaining postseason contenders through the boyfriend filter, judging the pros and cons of each team, the quality of their postseason motto, and wagers of note, to help you decide who to root for if you don’t have a dog in the fight. Pottymouth takes a look at some player demographics (100% of Arubans in major league baseball are in the playoffs). Patti addresses Addison Frickin’ Russell’s token suspension and the baby steps commentators are making to note the status of domestic abuse investigations when discussing involved players during a game. And we lament the lack of barware remaining on the wedding registry of Team Canada captain Gillian Apps and Team USA captain Meghan Duggan, because we are all in for stories of happy sports relationships, and we are willing to go to women’s hockey to find them.

#51 - Joe DiMaggio was Damn Good Looking

Junto Media — Tue, 02 Oct 2018 12:00:00 -0400

El Jefe ditches Patti and Pottymouth on his birthday but somehow they manage to press the right buttons. Jay Sharman of La Vida Baseball stops by for a chat. We send our best wishes to Met’s captain David Wright, and identify his daughter Olivia Shea as a future all-star. Pottymouth’s BF Miguel Andújar ties that dreamy DiMaggio for most doubles by a Yankees rookie. Patti runs down the contenders for AL MVP, Mookie Betts vs. Mike Trout, J.D. Martinez, Jose Ramirez, and Alex Bregman. There is nothing heroic about C.C. Sabathia drilling batters, despite what a boatload of male sportswriters think. Addison Frickin’ Russell’s ex-wife Melisa steps up. Roberto Osuna is off the hook for domestic battery and the Astros are now dead to Patti and Pottymouth after the response by GM Jeff Luhnow. Welcome, October baseball.

#50 - All the Best Seats Ever

Junto Media — Tue, 25 Sep 2018 12:00:00 -0400

Patti and the Pottymouth sit in the greatest ballpark seats of their lives and see the historic (Max Scherzer breaking his all-time season strikeout record) and the hilarious (Baltimore’s DJ Stewart scoring a run off his first major league hit, which was a single). Pottymouth’s Piña BFs Yuli and Lourdes Gurriel have a smackdown of sorts. Patti thanks Christian Yelich for allowing her to legitimately bring up the Cleveland Browns in an NL MVP rundown, which also includes her BFs Javier Baez and Trevor Story. In the week of #whyididntreport, we bring you Addison frickin' Russell. Baseball For All’s regional tourney tells us the story of Maria Pepe, the first girl to play Little League. Baseball math and 538 show how loveable basement-dwellers Royals and Os would fare in AAA. And St. Michael looks a lot like Wonder Woman on Bartolo Colon’s forearm.

#49 - Zoom Zoom Asuaje

Junto Media — Tue, 18 Sep 2018 12:00:00 -0400

Patti can’t stop saying “clinch,” and Pottymouth can’t stop saying “Red Sox.” Mookie Betts, Jose Ramirez, and Francisco Lindor all make history with their bats and their speed. Carlos Asuaje and Wil Myers get twitchy. Patti has one nice thing to say about the Braves, and Alex Cora has fewer nice things to say about President Trump. Innings pitched may be the key to the AL Cy Young Award. Pottymouth puts Zoom Zoom Stadium on her wish list. And possible dead heats in the NL Central and West races bring game theory into playoff tie-breakers.

#48 - Stupid, Stupid Rain

Junto Media — Tue, 11 Sep 2018 12:00:00 -0400

Pottymouth proposes a school district-like snow day contingency plan for MLB rainouts. She nominates Yadier Molina, and Patti picks Cookie Carrasco, as their Roberto Clemente Award favorites. Patti’s shortstop boyfriends Francisco Lindor and Trevor Story are making history. Pottymouth questions MLB policy that allows Roberto Osuna, but not Robinson Cano, to play in the postseason. Jacob DeGrom, Max Scherzer, and Aaron Nola are in a dead heat for the NL Cy Young, possibles for the NL MVP, and yet none may make the playoffs. Can filmmaker and winery owner Francis Ford Coppola make women in baseball really happen? Patti relates some teaching moments from Section 408, and she and Pottymouth promise NO INFIGHTING a la Mariners and Tigers broadcasters.

#47 - Sometimes a Raccoon Is Just a Raccoon

Junto Media — Tue, 04 Sep 2018 12:00:00 -0400

There is great rejoicing when Pottymouth utters the magic words, “Ohtani Watch.” Less so when she calls Patti out for telling everyone not to panic about trades last week. Andrew McCutchen shaved and became a Yankee! Josh Donaldson is a Fightin’ Francona! Gio Gonzalez is a Brewer. Sigh. This week’s vocabulary words, “expanded roster,” lead to a strategy discussion about interchangeable player positions in the land of fewer balls in play. Does Team USA’s failure to medal in the Women’s Baseball World Cup count if nobody saw it happen? Let’s email MLB and find out. Daniel Murphy gets trolled by the Brave’s ballpark organist, and the Orioles are either cursed or blessed by the raccoon. Depending.

#46 - Moose on Moose Violence

Junto Media — Tue, 28 Aug 2018 12:00:00 -0400

Patti and the Pottymouth share the joy of Player’s Weekend, from Mike “Moose” Moustakas homering off of Joe “Moose” Musgrove, to the ultra style-y cleats of Adam Jones, CC Sabathia, and Francisco Lindor. Ronald Acuna, Jr. takes a chunk out of Marlin’s park, and a suitcase takes a whack at Aaron Sanchez’s dignity. It’s not Moneyball this time around, but the Oakland A’s are on a tear. Today’s vocabulary lesson is on revocable waivers and free agency, with the bonus tip of Don’t Panic. There’s so much great baseball to watch in the Women’s World Cup, and almost nowhere to watch it. But you can’t change a channel without coming across the Little League World Series.

#45 - Just Beer Enough

Junto Media — Tue, 21 Aug 2018 12:00:00 -0400

While Regulation Pottymouth is away, Other Pottymouth pinch hits with tales of the Nationals new bullpen cart, which they don’t deserve, a little love for Derek Jeter’s Marlins requiring Spanish lessons for the English speakers on the team, and the joy of SS Scott Kingery pitching so slowly the velocity doesn’t even register. Patti rants about Jose Urena’s fastball assault of Ronald Acuna and baseball’s ridiculous unwritten rules. And Eric Hosmer homering off a beer provides a teaching moment about fan interference.

We also have a special interview with Jon Leonoudakis, executive producer of "The Sweet Spot" series on Amazon Prime, who talks about Season 3: “Shutout! The Battle American Women Wage to Play Baseball”. See the trailer here: http://bit.ly/2zisxKi

#44 - Dance Cam Edition

Junto Media — Tue, 14 Aug 2018 12:00:00 -0400

Patti and the Pottymouth review the good, the bad, and the ugly of Player’s Weekend nickname choices. Extra credit to Pat Venditte, Paul Fry, and Joey Gallo for puns and playfulness. The Reds are troubling, however, as Scooter Gennett doesn’t choose “Scooter” and Joey Votto goes all Canadian war poetry on us. Juan Soto suffers premature ejection. Baseball math provides grandpas everywhere with cheat sheets on when it is safe to leave the game early and beat the traffic. And grandchildren everywhere have a new reason to hate math. Opportunities begin to appear for women baseball executives and women players. Finally.

#43 - Double Header Hangover

Junto Media — Tue, 07 Aug 2018 12:00:00 -0400

Patti & the Pottymouth are forced to follow their own stupid fantasy boyfriend baseball league rules and bid farewell to Rhys Hoskins, Jonathan Schoop, and Ian Kinsler due to the Trade Deadline Boyfriend Shuffle. Pottymouth cheers on the Mamie “Peanut” Johnson Little League team as they move on to the regional championships with support from BF Adam Jones. Patti watches the “brawl that wasn’t” unfold, re-fold, and result in the beaning of national treasure Joey Votto. Rants abound as we ask "WTF the Astros are doing with Roberto Osuna?" And we find a glimmer of hope with Trea Turner’s baby steps on the path to redemption.

#42 - Stupid High School Boys

Junto Media — Tue, 31 Jul 2018 12:00:00 -0400

Former MLB players vote for boyfriends on all 30 teams. They call them Heart and Hustle Awards, but they totally use NCIB’s BF criteria. We make a good showing with Pookie, Goldy, Salvy, Scooter, Spanky, and Alfalfa all making the cut. That’s Mookie Betts, Paul Goldschmidt, Salvador Perez and Scooter Gennett, for the uninitiated. Kiké Hernandez checks pitching off the bucket list, stands on the said bucket, and teases the Braves announcers for getting their MLB panties in a bunch. We have no choice but to discuss the twitter feeds of stupid high school boys, (Josh Hader, Sean Newcomb, and our formerly beloved Trea Turner) their apologies, and their possible paths to redemption. And love is in the air at Fanfest, and at the Hall of Fame induction in Cooperstown.

#41- All-Star Wrap-up and Women In Baseball Week

Junto Media — Tue, 24 Jul 2018 12:00:00 -0400

With Patti on the road, Pottymouth brings in some special guests to help out. Ecuadoran journalist Santiago Estrella talks about growing up playing baseball in New York City and being a huge Yankees fan before moving back to Ecuador — a country that has no baseball — at the age of ten. His newspaper allowed him to come back to the States to cover All-Star Week and he shares his stories of interviewing some of the top players.

Pottymouth also speaks with dynamic umpire Perry Barber about Women In Baseball Week, a project of the International Women's Baseball Center.

Become a supporter of No Crying In Baseball and get access to special episodes, blog posts, and more! http://patreon.com/nocryinginbball

#40 - All-Star Week is Hotter Than Hell

Junto Media — Tue, 17 Jul 2018 12:00:00 -0400

It’s All-Star Week and Patti and the Pottymouth have made new friends all over town – in the Metro, in bars, at the ballpark, during volunteer gigs, plus that guy walking down the street carrying a base from the Futures game. We got outside at Play Ball Park, where we made sure little girls and grown women took their turns at bat and in the pitching cages and didn’t hang back behind the boys and menfolk.

At Fanfest, Pottymouth met a childhood hero and Patti flew. We couldn’t help ourselves at the Futures Game and came away with new boyfriends. Future boyfriends. Can every week be All-Star Week?

Become a supporter of No Crying In Baseball and get access to special episodes, blog posts, and more! http://patreon.com/nocryinginbball

#39 - Jumbotron Edition

Junto Media — Tue, 10 Jul 2018 12:00:00 -0400

Pottymouth decamps to NYC (WTF?) yet Patti manages to have her Greatest. Baseball. Weekend. Ever. There were dingers and anthems and jumbotron appearances galore. Pottymouth makes an All-Star case for Yadier Molina, who now even Torey Lovullo agrees is NOT a mofo.

Mark Reynolds and Juan Soto are not the heroes the Nationals had in mind, but they are the heroes they needed. Patti has a brush with glory as the Women’s Baseball World Cup trophy and two members of Team USA visit Nats Park. And there is a Fantasy Boyfriend Baseball League shake-up. Finally.

Become a supporter of No Crying In Baseball and get access to special episodes, blog posts, and more! http://patreon.com/nocryinginbball

#38 - Naked Players and Shirts On Fire

Junto Media — Tue, 03 Jul 2018 12:00:00 -0400

Patti and the Pottymouth welcome special guest Alfredo Alvarez, of Con Las Bases Llenas, for a Red Sox / Yankees Series smackdown, er, discussion. Alfredo’s story of becoming a Yankees fan as a child in Cuba almost convinces Patti to join the Evil Empire, but her aggressively ugly Orioles shirt (and her aggressively Red Soxy Pottymouth) keep her grounded.

We celebrate Joey Votto’s strike zone in honor of Canada Day, and revisit crime and punishment in the MLB in the form of Luke Heimlich and Chris Bosio. Patti just wants to talk about Frank Zappa mustaches, but grooming goes to another level when Pottymouth insists on admiring the shiny, shiny muscles of naked ballplayers in the ESPN Body Issue.

Learn more about Con Las Bases Llenas at Conlasbasesllenas.com @ConLasBasesFull

Become a supporter of No Crying In Baseball and get access to special episodes, blog posts, and more! http://patreon.com/nocryinginbball

#37 - Beware Mascots Wielding Wieners

Junto Media — Tue, 26 Jun 2018 12:00:00 -0400

Yadier Molina has legs, but does he have knees? The wiener report includes Hunter Strickland, the Phillie Phanatic and that guy on the Metro with the Machado jersey. The non-waiver trade deadline may cost Patti some boyfriends, but she makes sure you know what it means. Pottymouth has choice words about Roberto Osuna. All this plus participation medals, fake moustaches and a pitcher named Disco.

Become a supporter of No Crying In Baseball and get access to special episodes, blog posts, and more! http://patreon.com/nocryinginbball

#36 - Childish Bambino is SO Our Guy

Junto Media — Tue, 19 Jun 2018 12:00:00 -0400

Pottymouth laments the glory that is her Mariners (formerly Rays) boyfriend, Denard Span because his best work is against her Red Sox. What’s a girl to do? We jump on the Mariners bandwagon that suddenly looks playoff-bound. Tip of the cap to Trea Turner for his 100th stolen base and Patti tells a back with a bang from the DL story, about Rhys Hoskins of the Phillies. Someone, please get Pottymouth a Yuli Gurriel gnome with troll hair.

NoCryingInBBall.com

Twitter: @NCIBPodcast

Facebook & Instagram: NoCryingInBBall

#35 - Im-Max-ulate Innings

Junto Media — Tue, 12 Jun 2018 12:03:27 -0400

The race is on for the first player to a 20-20 season. Will it be Mike Trout? Mookie Betts? Tim Anderson? Andrew Benintendi?

Patti welcomes Jays BF Aledmys Diaz back from the DL, and DBacks BF Paul Goldschmidt back from his slump. Pottymouth brings the adorable with little brothers of Alex Bregman and Carlos Correa drafted by the StrosBros.

Surprisingly, the best play uniting Baseball and Beer this week is NOT the woman chugging her beer full of foul ball. But it could be.

NoCryingInBBall.com

Twitter: @NCIBPodcast

Facebook & Instagram: NoCryingInBBall

#34 - Biting At The Chompers

Junto Media — Tue, 05 Jun 2018 12:00:00 -0400

Mookie Betts is back on the DL but never fear, Andrew Benintendi is here! The Detroit Tigers’ season, however, may depend on fowl balls as they pin their hopes on a Rally Goose.

This week’s boyfriend updates include Francisco Lindor, Scooter Gennett, and Max Scherzer, but finding replacement boyfriends is really, really hard. We have a little early Father's’ Day celebration for Dereck Rodriguez (son of Pudge), Kody Clemens (son of Roger), Vladimir Guerrero, Jr. (son of Vlad, Sr.), and Luke Farrell (son of John). It makes us feel so, so old.

More celebrating: It’s Pride month! Lots of LGBT Pride events throughout MLB, and Billy Bean and Daniel Murphy demonstrate that conversation and common ground can change minds.

Finally, this weekend’s Breakthrough Series shows MLB’s commitment to women in baseball is for real.

All that and Patti & Pottymouth volunteering for the All-Star Game, this week in No Crying In Baseball!

NCIB is all over the internets! Connect with us!

NoCryingInBBall.com

Twitter: @NCIBPodcast

Facebook & Instagram: NoCryingInBBall

#33 – Scooter, Scooter, Everywhere

Junto Media — Tue, 29 May 2018 12:00:00 -0400

Patti and the Pottymouth discuss the healing powers of pee and successfully predict the epic-ness of the Trevor Bauer / Gerrit Cole duel. Ohtani, Trout, yada yada but have you seen this guy Scooter Gennett? Rookies hit it out of so many parks in debuts this week (Is it too early to order our Soto jerseys?)

There’s some talk therapy to help Pottymouth through her extreme boyfriend flux (Oh, Hanley.). Those crazy Rays may be on to something with their closers as “openers.” Patti gets to say, “Juiced balls,” “Cowboy Joe West,” and work multiple hockey references into the conversation.

All this plus women’s baseball, international softball, and the Shred Hate Initiative.

NCIB is all over the internets! Connect with us!

NoCryingInBBall.com

Twitter: @NCIBPodcast

Facebook & Instagram: NoCryingInBBall

#32 - Yankee Love and Jeter Hate

Junto Media — Tue, 22 May 2018 13:00:00 -0400

We were touched to see the compassionate reactions from local sports teams after the tragic shooting at Sante Fe High in Texas. Sports help us come together as a community and heal.

Robinson Cano gets an 80-game suspension for use of a PED masking agent. He says it was accidental but was it, really?

Astros pitching tops the charts for ERAs but Cory Kluber and Max Scherzer have much to celebrate, too.

Finally, Pottymouth talks nice about the Yankees (to everyone's amazement) but Patti brings her back to herself with some hate for Derek "no press is good press" Jeter.

NCIB is all over the internets! Connect with us!

NoCryingInBBall.com

Twitter: @NCIBPodcast

Facebook & Instagram: NoCryingInBBall

#31 - Pumped-up Pitchers and Pretty Pretty Shoes

Junto Media — Tue, 15 May 2018 12:17:35 -0400

Special Mother's Day shout-out to all the baseball and softball mothers out there! Thanks for all you do!

This week, updates on Trevor Bauer, Wilson Ramos, Francisco Lindor, Sean Rodriguez, and Scooter Gennett. The Mets make a little league error and the humidor at Chase Field dampens even the Diamondback's Paul Goldschmidt.

Did you know that April is the first month in MLB history to record More strikeouts than hits? Patti tells us all about it and Pottymouth has a thing or two to say.

All that and pretty shoes, too!

NCIB is all over the internets! Connect with us!

NoCryingInBBall.com

Twitter: @NCIBPodcast

Facebook & Instagram: NoCryingInBBall

#30 - Bryce Harper Has Been Freed!

Junto Media — Tue, 08 May 2018 12:00:00 -0400

MLB outlaws the use of "any foreign substance" by pitchers but Patti reports on Trevor Bauer's call to allow pine tar and other substances. Listen to find out why!

The Seattle Mariners leave Patti & Pottymouth scratching their heads over their announcement that Ichiro Suzuki is not retiring, but won't be playing. Could it all be part of a long-term plan?

NCIB is all over the internets! Connect with us!

NoCryingInBBall.com

Twitter: @NCIBPodcast

Facebook & Instagram: NoCryingInBBall

#29 – Blame It On The Porn Bots

Junto Media — Tue, 01 May 2018 11:39:16 -0400

What happens when Pottymouth's father learns she curses for the very first time? Disappointment and confusion, perhaps, but maybe moms can curse vicariously.

Player highlights: Wilson Ramos homers again, Tommy Pham hits himself in the head with a bat and a "contraption", and Bryce Harper can't get a pitch.

All that and questions about a shorter MLB season in this week's episode!

Get details about everything in this week's show and our Baseball Boyfriend Fantasy League at Facebook.com/NoCryingInBBall

#28 - We Like Fast Boyfriends

Junto Media — Tue, 24 Apr 2018 13:00:00 -0400

This week we review the Twins-Indians series in Puerto Rico, where hometown stars José Berríos, Francisco Lindor, and Eddie Rosario all shone on the island still recovering from Hurricane Maria, along with a power outage that nearly shut down the series.

Patti introduces a new stat! SPRINT SPEED. You'll have to listen to find out what that means and who has more boyfriends in the top ten.

Bryan Price is out at the Reds. Could John Farrell step in? What about Dusty Baker?

All that and a Minor League shout-out in this week's episode!

Get details about everything in this week's show and our Baseball Boyfriend Fantasy League at Facebook.com/NoCryingInBBall

#27 – Don't Call My Boyfriend A Mofo. Twice.

Junto Media — Tue, 17 Apr 2018 11:22:53 -0400

Jackie Robinson Day celebration! Wait, is that...Wahoo? With the #42? Seriously, wft?

Pottymouth has a word or two for Torey Lovullo after he said some unkind things about her Cardinals boyfriend Yadier Molina. Not okay, Torey!

MLB at the UFC! Play-by-play for the Rockies-Padres and Red Sox-Yankees brawls and the "three stages of the brawl".

Big shout out to MLB for their Trailblazer Series, bringing 100 baseball-playing girls ages 11 to 13 to California for the MLB Youth Academy!

Patti takes the lead in the Boyfriend Fantasy League as Pottymouth moves into second place and Patti's second string moves into third. There's a long way to go yet, so keep listening.

Get details about everything in this week's show and our Baseball Boyfriend Fantasy League at Facebook.com/NoCryingInBBall

Red Sox / Yankees fight

Joe Mauer

Best brawl photos

538 World Cup Quiz

Unintended Consequences of rule changes

Trailblazer series

Indians/Twins in Puerto Rico

Austin Hedges DP

Moustakis homer in the snow

#26 – Premature Ejection

Junto Media — Mon, 09 Apr 2018 14:29:06 -0400

Chuck Nazty signs for 6 more years at $108-$116 million (the oldest player to get over $100 mil at 32). Could it be the Altuve effect? And what are the implications for possibly next year’s free agents like Machado and Harper, both 25?

Turns out the Buster Posey rule against blocking home plate only applies to catchers. Who knew? Maybe Mychal Givens, and all Didi Gregorius got was an out and a bloody mouth.

Pottymouth keeps her lead in the Boyfriend Fantasy League as Patti moves into second place. There's a long way to go yet, so keep listening.

Get details about everything in this week's show and our Baseball Boyfriend Fantasy League at Facebook.com/NoCryingInBBall

Charlie Blackmon

https://www.mlb.com/news/rockies-sign-charlie-blackmon-to-6-year-deal/c-270803254

https://www.mlb.com/news/will-charlie-blackmons-extension-be-a-trend/c-271131594

Bald eagle lands

https://www.mlb.com/cut4/a-bald-eagle-landed-on-james-paxton-before-the-game/c-270959234

Gabe Kapler

https://deadspin.com/six-games-in-everyone-already-hates-gabe-kapler-1825042530

Lester bounce pass

https://deadspin.com/jon-lesters-weird-one-hop-pickoff-move-succeeds-1825033085

NIcholas Castellanos/hard hit rate

https://www.clickondetroit.com/sports/heres-why-nicholas-castellanos-is-off-to-scorching-hot-start-for-detroit-tigers#/questions

Pham walk up song

http://www.stltoday.com/sports/columns/ben-frederickson/mozeliak-not-sweating-pham-s-comments/article_f43cbd5d-edd9-5f2f-b6c8-db7000d1a838.html

MLB’s 2nd annual girls baseball tournament

https://www.mlb.com/news/trailblazer-series-for-girls-back-for-2nd-year/c-27047809

C-Flap

http://www.espn.com/mlb/story/_/id/23026863/the-mlb-c-flap-helmet-saving-faces-all-star

Ohtani’s homer against Kluber, Japanese call

https://www.mlb.com/video/ohtanis-homer-in-japanese/c-1906981083?tid=26271672

Rendon/Martinez ejection

http://www.espn.com/video/clip?id=23065626

Dusty Baker

https://www.washingtonpost.com/sports/nationals/dusty-baker-made-his-own-sort-of-peace-with-nationals-firing-and-still-doesnt-care-what-you-think/2018/04/02/8a2067b8-3683-11e8-8fd2-49fe3c675a89_story.html?utm_term=.b7225041f0f2

Snow games

https://www.mlb.com/cut4/twins-and-pirates-played-in-the-snow/c-270857268

https://www.seattletimes.com/sports/mariners/the-boys-of-winter-baseball-has-opened-to-frigid-temperatures-and-snow/

#25 - Home Runs and Grand Slams and Steals, Oh My!

Junto Media — Mon, 02 Apr 2018 10:33:56 -0400

The Season has begun and we are so freakin' excited! Pottymouth takes an early lead in the Boyfriend Fantasy League but there's a long way to go yet, so stay tuned.

Opening Day highlights include great performances by Denard Span, Anthony Rizzo, Justin Verlander, Yadi Molina, Scooter Gennett, Max Scherzer, and George Springer.

Get details about everything in this week's show and our Baseball Boyfriend Fantasy League at Facebook.com/NoCryingInBBall

Pillar: https://www.mlb.com/news/blue-jays-kevin-pillar-steals-home/c-270305058

Salvy speaks: http://www.sportingnews.com/mlb/news/salvador-perez-injury-update-royals-catcher-out-4-6-weeks-with-mcl-tear/1mmxs316ujbaj1pw7gio6q1e6m

https://deadspin.com/tigers-win-on-walkoff-then-return-to-field-after-bulls-1824220697

https://deadspin.com/the-most-fun-thing-about-every-baseball-team-this-year-1824175462

https://projects.fivethirtyeight.com/2018-mlb-predictions/ updated after every GAME

#24 - Special Guest: Mako Oliveras

Junto Media — Tue, 27 Mar 2018 10:40:04 -0400

In our last episode before the season, Patti and Pottymouth spend some time with Max “Mako” Oliveras.

Oliveras has a 50-year history in baseball as a player, coach, and manager. He has worked with teams in Puerto Rico, Mexico, and MLB. He shares stories of the early days of Alex Cora, Dave Martinez, and Daniel Murphy.

Also this week: Patti & Pottymouth name their 1st String Boyfriend League players.

Get details about everything in this week's show and our Baseball Boyfriend Fantasy League at Facebook.com/NoCryingInBBall

#22 - Battle of the Cy Youngs

Junto Media — Mon, 12 Mar 2018 13:02:47 -0400

Youth and age in Major League Baseball: 24-yr-old Paul DeJong gets a record deal with the St. Louis Cardinals, but 29-yr-old Mike Moustakas heads back to the Royals for less than half the qualifying offer he turned down last November. Why can't players 30 and over get multi-year deals?

Could there be a feud brewing in Los Angeles? Seems the Dodgers are a little bitter over Ohtani's decision to join the Angels.

Also this week: Patti & Pottymouth pick their Boyfriend League pitchers. Patti takes the Nationals and the Indians, while Pottymouth locks in the Dodgers and the Astros.

Get details about everything in this week's show and our upcoming Baseball Boyfriend Fantasy League at Facebook.com/NoCryingInBBall

#21 – Juiced Balls Flying!

Junto Media — Mon, 05 Mar 2018 13:59:12 -0500

Shohei Ohtani warms up with the Angels but the Dodgers get the hot tub flu, all in this week's episode!

Patti brings more science to the field in her ongoing study of everything that makes baseballs fly and learns that last year's balls were, indeed, different. Could that explain the record number of home runs? Listen to find out!

Boyfriends this week (the last week of boyfriends!) are Yonder Alonso and Francisco Lindor of the Cleveland Lindors, er, Indians, and Kiké Hernandez and Logan Forsythe of the Los Angeles Dodgers.

Get details about everything in this week's show and our upcoming Baseball Boyfriend Fantasy League at Facebook.com/NoCryingInBBall

#20 – Watchin' The Crotch Cam

Junto Media — Tue, 27 Feb 2018 10:10:30 -0500

We're watching baseball again! Yay for Spring Training! Patti & Pottymouth get a little teary-eyed talking about MLB teams' reactions to the horror at Stoneman Douglas High School but bounce back to wonder what's to become of Jake Arrieta, how humidors could change home runs, and the new pace-of-play rules.

Boyfriends this week are adorable Jose Altuve and Sir George Chelston Springer III of the Houston Astros, and base thief Trea Turner and under-the-radar Anthony Rendon of the Washington Nationals.

Get details about everything in this week's show and our upcoming Baseball Boyfriend Fantasy League at Facebook.com/NoCryingInBBall

#19 – An Adorable Season Two Opener!

Junto Media — Mon, 19 Feb 2018 19:08:55 -0500

Spring Training for the 2018 Major League Baseball Season has begun, and so has Season 2 of No Crying In Baseball!

This week: The Chicago Cubs are singing "I got Yu babe" after signing pitcher Yu Darvish and the San Diego Padres pick up first baseman Eric Hosmer.

No time for anything else because Patti & Pottymouth are too busy talking about their Boston Red Sox and Arizona Diamondbacks boyfriends. Pottymouth is giddy as a schoolgirl about Mookie Betts and has nothing but respect for David "freight train" Peralta. Patti's hoping Ohio native Andrew Benintendi can get her into his uncle's Garage Mahal and she finally succumbs to Paul Goldschmidt's charms.

Get details about everything in this week's show and our upcoming Baseball Boyfriend Fantasy League at Facebook.com/NoCryingInBBall

#18 – Season 1 Finale

Junto Media — Sat, 10 Feb 2018 11:41:39 -0500

It's the end of the first season of No Crying In Baseball! With so many players are still sitting on the hot stove, will the Major League Baseball Players Association plan to open a free agent training camp help get these guys signed? Also, what's going on with Bartolo Colon and Todd Frazier, and what is pro football great Russell Wilson going to do for the Yankees? All that and boyfriends! This week: Ronald Torreyes and Aaron Judge of the New York Yankees; Anthony Rizzo and Javier Baez of the Chicago Cubs.

We'll be back next week with the first episode of season two, kicking off the MLB 2018 season! Remember, find us on Facebook: @NoCryingInBBall

#17 - Big Papi Needs a Job!

Junto Media — Sun, 04 Feb 2018 12:16:41 -0500

As the Hot Stove draws to a close, Pottymouth has a favorite new TV show and Patti has thoughts on the Cleveland Indians decision to (semi-) retire their racist logo, "Chief Wahoo". The Milwaukee Brewers are looking even stronger after picking up Lorenzo Cain, Christian Yelich, and Matt Albers, while Mookie Betts wins in arbitration with the Red Sox and Major League Baseball tries a little positive reinforcement to shorten game times. All that and Boyfriends from the Minnesota Twins and the Colorado Rockies.

#16 - 2018 Hall of Fame Boyfriends!

Junto Media — Mon, 29 Jan 2018 11:23:11 -0500

In this special episode, Patti & Pottymouth talk about their 2018 Baseball Hall of Fame inductee boyfriends: Vlad Guerrero, Chipper Jones, Trevor Hoffman, and Jim Thome. They also dig into the apparent steroid-use blacklist for the Hall of Fame and the impact of new statistics on veteran players.

#15 – Crying in Football and Soccer

Junto Media — Sat, 27 Jan 2018 09:58:49 -0500

As the Hot Stove simmers on Patti and the Pottymouth trade talk about Austin Jackson, Yu Darvish, and Christian Yelich, with a little Nate Silver on the side.This week's boyfriends courtesy of the Milwaukee Brewers and the Kansas City Royals, and Pottymouth tells us where all the winter baseball can be found.

Be sure to follow us on Facebook for more on this week's episode!

#14 – Catchers, Collusion, and Countdowns

Junto Media — Sat, 20 Jan 2018 16:52:18 -0500

Are we there yet? With just 25 days until Spring Training, Patti exposes possible MLB owner collusion and Pottymouth frets over the future of Mookie Betts in wild world of arbitration. Also, there's no clock on this game! But there might soon be...as Rob Manfred schedules a meeting with players to discuss the pace of play and new rules for the pitch clock and conferences on the mound. This week's boyfriends are brought to you by the St. Louis Cardinals and the Tampa Bay Rays.

Be sure to follow us on Facebook for more on this week's episode!

#13 - An Oogie Episode

Junto Media — Sun, 14 Jan 2018 12:00:00 -0500

Thirteen episodes into the MLB hot stove and there's no reason to be bored - not when big shot sports agent Jason Wood gets busted for having a hidden camera in his shower and Patti and the Pottymouth rob the cradle to find Miami Marlins boyfriends! Plus, Pottymouth gets tribal for her LA Angels boyfriend and Patti keeps following Zack Cozart and the never-ending saga of Donald the Donkey.

All that, ginger beards, and the Women’s Baseball World Cup, too!

#12 – Second Place In Testicular Torsion

Junto Media — Sat, 06 Jan 2018 18:36:04 -0500

A lukewarm week for the Hot Stove tries to get Patti down, so the Pottymouth picks a fight with Rougned Odor, and El Jefe leaves the room when he hears Adrian Beltre doesn't wear a cup (Owwwwww!). Boyfriends of the week from the Texas Rangers and the Pittsburgh Pirates.

BONUS: Women of Baseball featuring Haley Alvarez, Amanda Hopkins, and Linda Alverado!

#11 - Sorry Not Sorry New Year

Junto Media — Mon, 01 Jan 2018 15:49:54 -0500

It's the last day of 2017 with Patti and the Pottymouth, who offer their comprehensive expertise to Derek Jeter, explore the invention of the high five, and send a little Star Wars love to Sean Doolittle. Also, Seattle Mariners and Atlanta Braves boyfriends!

BONUS: Did Pottymouth really apologize to Derek Jeeter?

Info on the Robinson Cano charity

#10 - Sayin' Azzz-Waaa-Hey!

Junto Media — Sat, 23 Dec 2017 12:28:46 -0500

Patti and the Pottymouth hate on Derek Jeter, ponder another mega-trade including Adrian Gonzalez, find solace in holiday romance when they learn that Orel Hershiser officiated Justin Turner’s wedding, and get serious about diversity in Major League Baseball. BONUS: Meet Mamie “Peanut” Johnson, female pitcher for the Negro League's Indianapolis Clowns, who passed away this week at the age of 82.

And of course, this week's boyfriends — Blue Jays and Padres!

The Vlad Jr. hip swivel.

#9 - Schoop-Schoop-ee-doop

Junto Media — Sat, 16 Dec 2017 13:37:08 -0500

Patti and the Pottymouth send love notes to Shohei Ohtani, redeem Pottymouth's Hall Of Fame error, and pick their Orioles and Mets boyfriends.

BONUS: Is Derek Jeter the Donald Trump of Major League Baseball?

This episode sponsored by the podcast Dame It All To Hell, available on Apple Podcasts, Stitcher, Spotify, and Google Play Music.

#8 – A Donkey Named Donald

Junto Media — Sat, 09 Dec 2017 12:48:20 -0500

Patti and the Pottymouth laugh about new Yankees' skipper Aaron Boone and his experience-by-osmosis, the newest Angel Shohei Ohtani, the future of Manny Machado, and favorite first pitches.

BONUS: Why did Joey Votto buy Zach Cozart a donkey?

LINKS:

Khris Davis' The Creature

First pitch to the groin

#7 – Spicy!

Junto Media — Sat, 02 Dec 2017 12:50:38 -0500

Patti and the Pottymouth go Ohtani courtin', pick their White Sox and Phillies boyfriends, and ask tough questions about sexual harassment in baseball in this week's episode. Plus, a shout out to Venezuela and El Jefe says "War Damn Eagle!" Also, LINKS!!

http://m.mlb.com/cutfour/2017/09/04/252359066/the-phillies-nick-williams-pulled-off-a-mind-blowing-slide-for-first-career-steal

https://www.si.com/tech-media/2017/11/26/female-sports-reporters-sexual-harassment-media-circus

#6 – Crime & Punishment

Junto Media — Sat, 25 Nov 2017 12:46:28 -0500

Patti and the Pottymouth discuss Hall of Fame favorites, a 20-second pitch clock, and international cash transfers in the latest episode of No Crying in Baseball. And, of course, bottom-of-the-barrel boyfriends. BONUS FEATURE: Drinking games!

#5 – HOT HOT HOT

Junto Media — Fri, 17 Nov 2017 11:52:52 -0500

Patti and the Pottymouth hunker down for the Hot Stove and talk about Gold Gloves, MVPs, and the long cold wait for Spring Training.

#4 – Crystal Mojo

Junto Media — Sat, 04 Nov 2017 12:29:37 -0400

Patti and the Pottymouth nurse their baseball season hangovers with Springer, Altuve, and Mr. Morton, as they give their final thoughts on the 2017 World Series and look forward to next season.

Schoolhouse Rock: Mr. Morton

#3 – I Like to Dodge

Junto Media — Tue, 31 Oct 2017 20:07:44 -0400

Bat-licking and literal love consumePatti and the Pottymouth as they review Games 4 and 5 and get ready for 6 and 7 of the 2017 World Series. Oh, and boyfriends: Jose Altuve is Everywhere!

#2 – Ginger Beard and Blue Hair

Junto Media — Sun, 29 Oct 2017 21:39:40 -0400

Two games into the 2017 World Series, Patti and the Pottymouth gripe about manager musical chairs, cheer their WS boyfriends, and express their deep disapproval of celebratory humpage.

#1 – BBBFFs!

Junto Media Partners — Thu, 26 Oct 2017 16:39:50 -0400

Baseball boyfriends, beards, and the attention of Puerto Ricans are all covered in this pre 2017 World Series inaugural edition of No Crying in Baseball!