Minutes to Midlife

Why Men Overthink (And How to Stop) with Jett Stone, PhD

Johnny Pilkey — Wed, 18 Feb 2026 06:00:00 -0500

You buy the running shoes, you map out the perfect plan, and then... you freeze. Or maybe you finally get a weekend off to "relax," only to find your brain screaming louder than ever.

In this episode, Psychologist Jett Stone explains why we’re biologically wired to overthink, and why trying to "relax" often backfires.

ABOUT OUR GUEST:

Jett Stone is a Psychologist and the author of Quiet Your Mind: A Men's Guide. He specializes in helping men navigate anxiety, rumination, and the pressure to perform, offering practical tools to stop "time traveling" and get back to the present.

WHAT WE COVER:

The "Failure to Launch": Why we quit our goals by February.

The "Unstructured Time" Paradox: Why relaxing on the couch makes the noise louder.

Threat vs. Challenge: How elite athletes flip the switch on pressure.

TIMESTAMPS:

(00:34) Intro: Why We Freeze (The "Gym" Scenario)
(04:19) "Mental Time Travel" Explained
(07:19) The Intelligence Trap: Do Smart People Worry More?
(08:20) The Biological Tax of Overthinking
(10:34) Why "Relaxing" Makes Anxiety Worse (Unstructured Time)
(12:01) How Men Mask Overthinking
(14:00) The First Step: Physical vs. Mental
(15:33) Threat Mode vs. Challenge Mode
(18:51) What Tom Brady Knows About Anxiety
(20:53) The "Non-Dominant Hand" Exercise (Rewiring the Brain)
(22:29) The ROI of a Quiet Mind
(23:51) Rapid Fire: This or That (Hockey & Pizza)

MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:

Jett’s Book: Quiet Your Mind: A Men's Guide: https://a.co/d/0dVdSL3a

Jett’s Website: https://www.jettstonephd.com/

Jett’s Podcast: No Man’s An Island – https://pod.link/1849171262

Jett’s Blog (Psychology Today): https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-souls-men

Men’s Therapy Hub: https://menstherapyhub.co.uk/

Ethan Kross’s Book: Chatter: The Voice in Our Head: https://a.co/d/05P5bGPb

JOIN OUR COMMUNITY:

Website - https://minutestomidlife.com/
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/johnnypilkey/
Support the Show - https://ko-fi.com/minutestomidlife

MEDICAL DISCLAIMER:

Just a quick heads-up: What we discuss on this podcast is for general information only and is not medical advice. For any health-related questions, please consult your doctor.

Why You Self-Sabotage New Year's Resolutions (The Science)

Johnny Pilkey — Fri, 02 Jan 2026 05:00:00 -0500

Every year, we set goals to get fit, save money, or change our lives. And every year, by February, most of us have quit. Why?

In this episode, Psychotherapist Sarah Drew explains the hidden psychological mechanisms that stop us from leveling up.

WHAT WE COVER:

Why we are "allergic" to feeling too good and self-sabotage our own joy.
Why we cling to "safety” rather than risking growth.
Practical steps to steady your thermostat and hold onto your progress.

(00:00) Intro: Why We Self-Sabotage

(02:17) The "Thermostat Effect" Explained

(03:51) Is Your Reptilian Brain the Enemy?

(05:43) Imposter Syndrome & The Upper Limit

(06:53) Negativity Bias: Velcro vs. Teflon

(11:42) When Friends & Family Sabotage You

(17:47) Why Midlife Makes Us Play it Safe

(19:18) Practical Tools to Steady Your Thermostat

(22:55) Visual Cues & Phone Hacks

(25:39) "Brain Dump" vs. Journaling

(26:47) Recovering from Failure (Self-Compassion)

(28:39) The Power of Small Steps

(29:18) Rapid Fire: Get to Know Sarah

ABOUT OUR GUEST:

Sarah Drew is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor (LMHC) who helps individuals navigate the complexities of anxiety, life transitions, and self-worth. She currently practices at McNulty Counseling in Florida and specializes in Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT).

JOIN OUR COMMUNITY:

Website - https://minutestomidlife.com/
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/johnnypilkey/
Support the Show - https://ko-fi.com/minutestomidlife

MEDICAL DISCLAIMER Just a quick heads-up: What we discuss on this podcast is for general information only and is not medical advice. For any health-related questions, please consult your doctor.

YOUR Warning: Why Money Won't Save Your Retirement (ft. Aaron Kirsch & Dr. Laura Zettel-Watson)

Johnny Pilkey — Thu, 11 Dec 2025 10:35:51 -0500

Most men spend more time planning a two-week vacation than they do planning the 20 years they will live in retirement. If you’re only thinking about your money, you might be heading for a crash.

In this episode of Minutes to Midlife, I sit down with AARON KIRSCH, CFP and DR. LAURA ZETTEL-WATSON, PHD, CPG, authors of The Rewarding Retirement Workbook, to discuss the "Check Engine Light" of midlife. We dive deep into why high-achievers often end up unhappy despite financial success, and the key essentials you need to build a life of meaning—not just wealth.

What We Cover:

Why the "Midlife Crisis" is actually a golden opportunity.

The difference between Hedonic (Pleasure) and Eudaemonic (Meaning) happiness.

How to "Train for your 70s" starting today.

The 3 Health Pillars you are probably neglecting.

(00:00) Intro: Why Money Isn't Enough
(00:36) The Problem with "One Size Fits All" Retirement
(01:32) The "Unhappy Millionaire" Trap
(03:19) The Midlife "Check Engine Light"
(07:06) Why Men Fail to Invest in Themselves
(07:56) Eudaemonic vs. Hedonic Goals (The Real Secret)
(09:17) The Big Three: Sleep, Nutrition, Exercise
(12:01) The "Train for your 70s" Mindset
(12:42) One Small Habit to Change Your Life Today
(16:10) Go-Go, Slow-Go, and No-Go Years
(17:50) Final Wisdom: Practice Grace
(20:22) Rapid Fire: "This or That" Game
(21:14) How to Find Aaron & Laura

Mentioned in this Episode:

📄 Free Health Worksheet Download: https://bit.ly/44nAPyr
📘 The Rewarding Retirement Workbook: https://a.co/d/idEWmfQ
🌐 Aaron & Laura's Website: https://www.rewardingretirementworkbook.com/

Join Our Community:

Website - https://minutestomidlife.com/
Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/johnnypilkey/
Support the Show - https://ko-fi.com/minutestomidlife

MEDICAL DISCLAIMER Just a quick heads-up: What we discuss on this podcast is for general information only and is not medical advice. For any health-related questions, please consult with your doctor.

Dr. Ali: The Midlife Crisis Is A LIE! The "Dreaming Error" & The "Stop Signal" You Must Obey

Johnny Pilkey — Fri, 28 Nov 2025 05:00:00 -0500

Clinical Psychologist DR. ALI MATTU reveals why the "midlife crisis" is a myth, how to recognize your biological "stop signal," why lone wolves perish, and the truth about the "Dreaming Error."

Dr. Ali Mattu is a clinical psychologist and content creator who has helped millions of people understand the psychology behind their daily struggles. He served as an Assistant Professor at Columbia University and specializes in anxiety and cognitive behavioral therapy.

He explains:

Why you feel lost (The "Dreaming Error" explained)

Why depression may be a biological "Stop Signal"

How to discern what life is asking of you right now

(00:00) Intro: The "Dreaming Error"

(02:18) Why Midlife Crisis is a Myth

(05:45) The Biological Reality (Hormones & Aging)

(06:53) The "Bridge Generation" Stress

(07:58) Why Life Feels Harder Than Our Parents'

(12:04) Shame & The Social Media Trap

(14:23) The Loss of "Monoculture"

(16:03) Why Men Need Shoulder-to-Shoulder Connection

(19:56) You Are Not A Lone Wolf