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ALASTAIR'S WEBSITE & BOOKS

• AlastairHumphreys.com
• Microadventures
• The Doorstep Mile

EPISODE TOPICS

• Adventurous decision making
• Ambition: nature or nurture?
• Feelings follow action
• Epic adventures vs microadventures
• What is a microadventure?
• 5-9 adventures
• Sparks of adventure
• The essential feature of adventure
• Adventure and values clarity
• The emotional benefits of adventure
• Incrementalism
• Joseph Campbell and true purpose of the hero’s journey
• Fatherhood and adventure
• Modeling adventure
• Localism
• Self-reinvention

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NickWignall.com →

📙 ANNE-LAURE'S BOOK + WEBSITE
Tiny Experiments →
NessLabs →

RESOURCES:

🔮 Values Discovery Tool Kit: https://nickwignall.com/values-discovery/

📣 Assertive Communication Cheat Sheet: https://nickwignall.com/assertive-communication-cheat-sheet/

💌 Nick's Newsletter: https://nickwignall.com/newsletter/

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NickWignall.com →

📙 RYAN'S BOOKS
Emotion Hacks →
How to Deal with Angry People →
Why We Get Mad →

In this episode, psychologist Nick Wignall and therapist Emma McAdam share 6 common but frequently ignored root causes of anxiety and how to work through them in your own life.

Get Nick's Free Assertive Communication Cheat Sheet: https://nickwignall.com/assertive-communication-cheat-sheet/

Join Nick's Free Newsletter: https://nickwignall.com/newsletter/ 

Show Notes:

• What is purpose exactly?
• How purpose is different than values
• Why forming is better than finding purpose
• Do you need a purpose?
• When finding your purpose is avoidance
• Ross's 3-part framework: Get, Protect, Reset
• Self-compassion

Learn more about Ryan and his work here:

• Ross White (Personal Website) →
• Your purpose isn’t something to find, it’s something you form (Article) →
• The Tree That Bends (Book) →

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NickWignall.com →

📙 RYAN'S BOOKS
How to Deal with Angry People →
Why We Get Mad →

EPISODE TOPICS

• The most important misconception about anger
• Why anger would be considered a positive, not negative, emotion
• Why venting is bad for you
• The relationship between chronic anger and chronic anxiety
• How to deal with underlying anger on a team
• The difference between anger and frustration
• Whether grumpiness is a form of anger
• Ryan's best advice for dealing with angry people
• Why diagraming your anger is helpful
• What part of psychology is most underrated by psychologists

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The Friendly Mind: https://www.thefriendlymind.com/newsletter/

📙 OLIVER'S BOOK
Meditations for Mortals: https://www.oliverburkeman.com

EPISODE TOPICS

• The Problem with Self-Improvement
• Function Follows Form
• What Is Imperfectionism?
• The Oliver Burkeman Thesis Statement
• Synthesizing the Achiever and the Enjoyer
• Oliver's 4-Hour Workday Experiment
• The Virtues of Deliberate Constraint
• The Psychology of Indecisiveness and Overwhelm
• Daily-ish as the Antidote to Perfectionism
• Scruffy Hospitality as the Antidote to Imposter Syndrome

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The Friendly Mind: https://www.thefriendlymind.com/

😇 NICK'S ANXIETY COURSE
Creating Calm: https://nickwignall.com/creating-calm

🫁 JONNY'S COURSE
Nervous System Mastery: https://www.nsmastery.com

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The Friendly Mind: https://www.thefriendlymind.com/newsletter-yt/

⚒️ LINKS & RESOURCES FROM THE EPISODE
→ Painfully Shy by Barbara and Gregory Markway https://www.amazon.com/Painfully-Shy-Overcome-Anxiety-Reclaim/dp/0312316232
→ The Assertiveness Workbook by Randy Paterson  https://www.amazon.com/Assertiveness-Workbook-Express-Yourself-Relationships/dp/1648480276/
→ Emma's Anxiety Course: https://courses.therapyinanutshell.com/anxietyskills
→ Nick's Anxiety Course: https://nickwignall.com/creating-calm/

Show Notes:

• How to think clearly about trauma and PTSD
• Common misconceptions about trauma
• The resilience paradox
• The problem with the PTSD diagnosis
• Trauma concept creep
• How to develop resilience (The flexibility sequence)
• The end of trauma?
• Lisa Feldman Barret
• Mechanisms underlying beneficial effects of exercise on mood and emotional health

Learn more about Dr. Bonanno and his work here:

• George Bonanno (Personal Website) →
• The End of Trauma (Book) →

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Show Notes

• The dark side of “coping” with difficult feelings
• No Hard Feelings: The Secret Power of Embracing Emotions at Work
• Jealousy vs envy
• Benign vs malicious envy
• The role of personal responsibility in mental health
• The Amazon Zen Booth
• How organizations can actually help foster well-being and resilience
• The relationships between burnout and self-awareness
• Why setting boundaries is so hard (and how to make it a little easier)
• Revenge bedtime procrastination
• Emotional opportunity cost
• Perfectionism and self-kindness
• Healthy striving vs perfectionism
• The benefits of playfulness

Learn more about Liz and her work here:

• Big Feelings: How to Be Okay When Things Are Not Okay (book)
• LizandMollie.com (website)

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Show Notes

• Psychological flexibility
• Psychological rigidity
• Social anxiety and panic attacks
• Where does self-judgment and negative self-talk come from?
• The psychological function of religion and wisdom traditions
• Emotional tolerance
• 3rd wave behavior therapy, process-based therapy, and the future of psychotherapy
• What to look for in a good therapist 
• 2nd wave humanistic therapy

Learn more about Steve and his work here:

• The Liberated Mind (Book)
• Steven C Hayes (website)

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Show Notes

• What makes a book useful?
• The Coaching Habit
• Being “doubly ambitious” 
• How to think about overwhelm: realistic, consistent, grace 
• Working in 6-week cycles
• Why Michael hates SMART goals
• Should we follow our passion? 
• Relaxing into commitment
• Prizes and punishments of maintaining the status quo
• The Call of the Wild (Gary Larson)
• The value of the humble pros and cons list

Learn more about Michael and his work here:

• How to Begin: Start Doing Something That Matters (Book)
• Michael's Website

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Show Notes

• The unique benefits of mobile technology for emotional health
• Making self-awareness social
• Making personal growth social
• Emotional granularity
• Emotional intelligence in organizations
• The future of technology for emotional health

Learn more about Kai and his work here:

• Ahead App
• Self-Awareness Test

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Show Notes

• How sleep changes in pregnancy and postpartum
• Sleep deprivation vs circadian disruptions
• Types of sleep disturbances that predict postpartum depression
• Tips for minimizing sleep issues as a new parent
• How much to nap as a new mom
• What old-school pediatricians get wrong about sleep with new babies
• Parasomnias in pregnancy and postpartum
• Exploding head syndrome
• Sleep paralysis
• Postpartum anxiety
• REM rebound and nightmares
• Intrusive thoughts
• Sleep apnea and sleep-disordered breathing
• Poor sleep and postpartum depression 

Learn more about Jade and her work here:

• Website: JadeWuPHD.com
• Twitter: @jadewuphd

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Show Notes

• Uncommon sleep myths and misconceptions
• My other chat about sleep myths with Dr. Daniel Erichsen
• Better Sleep with insomnia coach Martin Reed
• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for Insomnia (CBT-I)
• Conditioned arousal
• Bed time vs rise time
• How much deep sleep do you actually need?
• What causes nightmares?
• The behavioral model of nightmares and imagery rehearsal therapy 
• Parasomnias
• Sleep and social justice
• Intergenerational sleep trauma
• The problem with sleep hygiene
• Tired vs sleepy
• The message about sleep Jade wants carved on her gravestone

Learn more about Jade and her work here:

• Website: JadeWuPHD.com
• Twitter: @jadewuphd

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Show Notes

Here are some of the highlights from our conversation:

• Common misconceptions about kids and technology use
• Why screen time is a pointless metric
• What’s really behind increased rates of suicide and depression among kids?
• The mental health benefits of technology
• Root vs proximate cause of technology overuse
• Psychological nutrients
• Deci and Ryan’s self-determination theory
• The importance of free play
• The Gardener and the Carpenter by Alison Gropnik
• Variable reinforcement
• Play Anything by Ian Bogost
• Mindset by Carol Dweck
• Why consistent family meals are so important
• Implementation intentions and timeboxing

You can learn more about Nir and his work here:

• NirAndFar (Wesbite)
• Indistractable: How to Control Your attention and Choose Your Life (Book)

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Here are some of the highlights from our conversation:

• What is overthinking, exactly?
• Types of overthinking
• The 2 reasons why we overthink
• The difference between anxious and depressive overthinking
• Overthinking as a universal mechanism for emotional suffering
• Scheduled overthinking
• Metacognitive Therapy vs traditional Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
• Metacognitive Therapy vs Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
• The busy train station metaphor
• The windowpane experiment
• The problem with coping skills
• How will psychotherapy be different in 50 years?

You can learn more about Pia and her work here:

• Pia’s website
• Pia’s book: Live More Think Less: Overcoming Depression and Sadness with Metacognitive Therapy
• Pia’s article on overthinking in Psyche: How to Stop Overthinking

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Show Notes

Here are some of the highlights from our conversation:

• Unschooling
• The struggle to treat each child as they need
• How Rosie thinks about self-care
• Dealing with self-care guilt, especially as a mom
• Barriers to women and mom breaking into the world of IndieHacking
• How to encourage communities to be more vulnerable
• Surprising things Rosie as a creator struggles with
• Encouraging authenticity over cleverness on social media
• Rosie’s advice to follow visions and missions, not people

You can learn more about Rosie and her work here:

• Rosieland
• Rosie on Twitter

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Show Notes

Here are some of the highlights from our conversation:

• What does overwhelm actually look like for Jay?
• Hard works as a response to feeling overwhelmed
• Respect for deadlines as a core part of Jay’s identity
• Jay’s approach to “de-scoping” his schedule and task list to combat overwhelm
• Underestimating the maintenance cost of evergreen products
• The investment banker and the fisherman
• How does Jay think about work-life balance and what enough looks like?
• Why it’s so hard to say no and let go?
• Cultural pressure to keep doing more and never let go
• How Jay thinks about self-care and what it looks like when the “red light” is flashing.
• What it looks like to really show up emotionally for important people in his life.
• Has being a podcaster and community builder made Jay a better listener in his personal life?
• Jays biggest insecurity as a creator

You can learn more about Jay and his work here:

• JayClouse.com (website)
• Creative Elements (podcast)
• Podcast Like the Pros (course)
• Upside (podcast)

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• Time management for 4-year-olds
• The narrow vs broad meaning of time management
• The importance trap and the temptation to “clear the decks”
• Anti-skills, negative capability, and the superpower that is emotional tolerance
• The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking
• Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic
• The relationship between expectations and control
• David Kane’s Raptitude
• Weirdly modern conceptions of time
• Meditation teacher Joseph Goldstein
• Are all expectations unhealthy?
• Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
• The case for wasting time and atelic activities
• Oliver’s to-do list recommendations
• Cal Newport’s Deep Work
• James Hollis’ Finding Meaning in the Second Half of Life
• Susan Jeffers' Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway and Embracing Uncertainty
• What’s wrong with the self-help genre?
• The wounded healer
• Jesse Singal and cranky self-help
• David Brook’s The Second Mountain
• Marilynne Robinson
• “Will this choice enlarge me or diminish me?”
• Douglas Harding’s On Having No Head
• Seneca’s On the Shortness of Life
• Mary Oliver: “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”

Learn more about Oliver and his work here:

• Oliver’s book: Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals
• Oliver’s website and (excellent) weekly newsletter: OliverBurkeman.com

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Show Notes

• What is emotional processing?
• Why is emotional processing important?
• Wilderness therapy
• Why is it so hard to talk about our feelings?
• Primary vs secondary emotions
• Basic emotional processing skills
• Feeling emotions in our bodies
• Emotional check-ins
• Intellectualizing emotions
• Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
• The importance of willingness
• Big Magic and the Fear Monster by Liz Gilbert
• Values-based decision-making
• The meaning of emotions
• Emotional confusion

Learn more about Emma and her work here:

• Therapy in a Nutshell (YouTube)
• Website

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Show Notes

• What is personality, exactly?
• The Big 5 Theory of Personality 
• What makes a personality theory valid?
• How writing a book changed how Christian sees personality
• What are the mechanisms of significant personality shifts?
• Personality adaptability
• Neuroticism
• Are certain personality traits good or bad? Healthy or pathological?
• The most underrated principle for effective personality change
• Are we really the average of the five people we spend the most time around?
• The Michelangelo Effect
• Order effects in personality change: Inside out or outside in?

Learn more about Christian and his work here:

• PsychologyWriter.org.uk (Personal Website)
• Twitter
• Psyche Magazine

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Show Notes

Here are some of the highlights from our conversation:

• Martin’s own struggles with insomnia and how they led him to become an insomnia educator and coach
• Coaching vs therapy for insomnia and sleep issues
• The dangers of insomnia “communities”
• Similarities in what causes insomnia
• What makes a case of insomnia “extreme”?
• Sleep trauma
• The one thing Martin wishes people would do for better sleep health
• Misguided cultural messages around sleep
• The future of sleep health
• Something Martin’s changed his mind about recently about sleep and insomnia
• How Martin deals with occasional bouts of poor sleep

You can learn more about Martin and his work here:

• InsomniaCoach.com (Website)
• Martin on YouTube
• Martin on Twitter

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Show Notes

Here are some of the highlights from our conversation:

• Sensitive strivers
• The big 5 personality traits
• Dr. Elaine Aron and the highly sensitive person
• Is “fake it ‘till you make it” good advice?
• Imposter syndrome
  • How can parents help their kids avoid developing imposter syndrome?
  • How can you get better and genuinely accepting praise and compliments?
  • How do I know if imposter syndrome is something I can work through on my own or if it’s something I should get professional help for?
  • How does company culture influence imposter syndrome?
  • How can we build resilience against imposter syndrome?
• Is it a good idea to follow your intuition and your trust your gut?
• Is it better to focus on changing your beliefs or your actions?
• Should we simply accept negative thoughts and painful feelings or try to examine them?

You can learn more about Melody and her work here:

• MelodyWilding.com (website)
• Trust Yourself (book)

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Learn more about the Minds & Mics podcast here, including how to subscribe and get all my newest episodes as soon as they’re released.

Here are some of the highlights from our conversation:

• Jonathan Haidt and moral foundations theory
• Misleading statistics and external validity
• The problems with self-esteem and the self-esteem movement
• Self-efficacy vs Self-esteem
• Carol Dweck and growth mindset
• Effect size in research
• Martin Seligman Positive Psychology
• Preventative mental health
• Opportunity cost in mental health
• Structural factors impacting mental health
• Grit
• Comprehensive Soldier Fitness
• The replication crisis in psychology
• The file drawer effect
• Falsification
• 10% Happier by Dan Harris
• Positive Thinking for People Who had Positive Thinking by Oliver Burkeman

You can learn more about Jesse and his work here:

• The Quick Fix: Why Fad Psychology Can’t Cure Our Social Ills (Book)
• JesseSingal.substack.com (Newsletter)
• Blocked and Reported (Podcast)

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Show Notes

• The distinctiveness of podcast conversations
• Mission-driven vs exploration-driven conversations
• The 3 ways conversations get derailed
• The usefulness of constraints in conversation
• Adjusting the speed of conversations
• The benefits of rehearsing hard conversations
• Overcoming self-consciousness in conversation
• Wearing jeans in the White House
• Environmental design
• Behavioral experiments
• Active listening vs creative listening
• Illuminations
• Dealing with being triggered
• Self conversation

You can learn more about Fred and his book at his website: MakingConversation.com

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Show Notes

Here are some of the highlights from our conversation:

• Misconceptions about creativity
• The creative process
• Nature vs nurture in creativity
• Quality vs quantity in creativity
• How to get started being more creative?
• Creative blocks
• Fear of being judged
• Creativity and community
• Constructive vs destructive comparisons
• Why constraints are helpful for creativity
• Is quitting important for creativity?

You can learn more about Herbert and his work here:

• HerbertLui.net

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Show Notes

Here are some of the highlights from our conversation:

• How Caitlin went from tenured professor to life coach
• Objections to life coaching:
  1. Life coaching isn’t legit…
  2. If you think you need a life coach, what you really need is a therapist
  3. There’s nothing you can get from a life coach that you can’t get from a good friend
  4. Life coaches are just snake-oil salesman out to make a quick buck off of vulnerable people
  5. Life coaching is too “woo-woo” or new-agey
• How to find a life coach who’s a good fit for you
• How to know if you need a life coach or a therapist
• The dangers of using family and friends as your emotional support person
• Can you do coaching and therapy at the same time?
• How much does life coaching cost?
• How often will I meet with a life coach?
• What does a life coaching session look like?
• Where to find a life coach?
• Is there specific credentialing I should look for with a life coach?

You can learn more about Caitlin and her work here:

• DrCaitlinFaas.com

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Show Notes

Here are some of the highlights from our conversation:

• Focusing on stories vs anxiety itself
• The parable of the second arrow
• Anxiety vs worry vs stress
• The Three Vajras: Body, Speech, and Mind
• Is the popularity of mindfulness a good thing?
• Should we try to get rid of negative thinking?
• Expressing anxiety vs complaining about it
• How to handle other people’s anxiety well
• Gentle inquisitiveness
• “You are not your anxiety”

You can learn more about Lodro and his work here:

• LodroRinzler.com
• Take Back Your Mind: Buddhist Advice for Anxious Times (Book)

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Show Notes
Here are some of the highlights from our conversation:

• The adaptive unconscious
• Defense mechanisms
• Self-sabotage
• Improving self-awareness
• Developing an observing ego
• Attachment patterns
• Compensation and replication of attachment dynamics
• Emotional masking
• Using emotional pain as motivation
• Is it the crime or the cover-up?
• Psychological flexibility
• Therapy vs coaching
• Flow Research Collective

You can learn more about Sarah and her work at her website: DrSarahSarkis.com

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Here are some of the highlights from the conversations:

• Constructive vs destructive perfectionism
• Appetitive vs aversive motivation
• Trauma, childhood strategies, and the origins of perfectionism
• "Smiling depression"
• Emotional vulnerability
  • Brene Brown — The Gifts of Imperfection
  • Terrence Real — I Don’t Want to Talk About It
• Perfectly hidden depression
• Rigid positivity
• Classic depression vs perfectly hidden depression
• Insight vs action
• How not help someone else who struggles with perfectly hidden depression
• Should more therapists be bloggers and podcasters?

You can learn more about Margaret and her work here:

• DrMargaretRutherford.com (Website)
• Perfectly Hidden Depression: How to Break Free from the Perfectionism That Masks Your Depression (Book)

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Learn more about the Minds & Mics podcast here, including how to subscribe and get all my newest episodes as soon as they’re released.

Here are some of the highlights from the conversations:

• The Farsi concept of Taroff
• The psychology behind conflict avoidance
• The 3 main outcomes of difficult conversations: 1) Solution, 2) Plan, 3) Understanding
• Achieving deep understanding in conversations
• The elements of effective listening
• Open-ended questions vs. litigious questions
• The importance of uncovering “gem statements"
• How to prepare in advance for difficult conversations
• How to handle defensiveness in difficult conversations
• The importance of silence in difficult conversations
• How to be a good mediator for other people

You can learn more about Adar and his work here:

• AdarCohen.com (Website)
• Adar on Twitter
• 3 Ways to lead tough, unavoidable conversations (TED Talk Video)
• How to have Difficult Conversations (Article)

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You can learn more about Uddipana and her work on her personal website.

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You can learn more about Tim and his work on his personal site TimStodz.com

Links and items of note from this episode:

• Seth Godin
• Sober Nation
• Copyblogger
• Stodzy Internet Marketing

Learn more about the Minds & Mics podcast here, including how to subscribe and get all my newest episodes as soon as they’re released.

Show Notes:

• How Lisa became a career transition expert
• What leads to career dissatisfaction?
• The four pillars of career fulfillment
• Testing career hypotheses
• Executing on a new career strategy
• Courage vs confidence

You can learn more about Lisa and her work here:

• Lisa Lewis (Website)
• Career Clarity (Book)

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Show Notes

• How he writes so damn much (1:00) 
• Tea and Cake with Demons (1:50)
• Lodro’s favorite ways that meditation has changed him (3:30) 
• Conscious vs Unconscious intention (6:40)
• What is meditation, exactly? (9:30)
• Meditation and judgmentalness (14:15)
• Mindfulness vs awareness (20:00)
• Meditation and managing emotions well (22:30) 
• Meditation, anxiety, and the second arrow (27:20) 
• How to stay consistent with your meditation practice (34:30)

You can learn more about Lodro and his work here:

• Website
• Sit Like a Buddha: A Pocket Guide to Meditation (Book)
• Twitter

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Show Notes

• The MIT Challenge
• The Year without English (6:00)
• The 30-Day Portrait Drawing Challenge (11:00)
• What is ultralearning? (18:00)
• Ultralearning and deep satisfaction (21:00)
• Ultralearning and the expansion of personal possibility (27:00)
• Ultralearning and curiosity (37:00)
• Ultralearning and self-confidence (40:00)
• The relationship between ultralearning and Deep Work (47:00)
• Scott’s advice on a first ultralearning project (50:30)

You can learn more about Scott and his work here:

• ScottHYoung.com (Website)
• Ultralearning (Book)

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Show Notes

• How Kristen became interested in psychology (1:24)
• Talk Therapy vs Play Therapy for kids (12:58)
• Common misconceptions about childhood anxiety (19:10)
• Normal childhood anxiety vs clinically significant anxiety (22:30)
• Common types of childhood anxiety (28:14)
• To what extent are parents involved in their child’s therapy (30:15)
• What to look for in a good child therapist (33:48)
• Embarrassing Blunders & Tricks of the Trade
  • Kristen’s 1st Embarrassing Parenting Blunder (40:05)
  • Nick’s 1st Embarrassing Parenting Blunder (43:28)
  • Kristen’s 1st Tricks of the Trade (46:50)
  • Nick’s 1st Tricks of the Trade (50:10)
  • Kristen’s 2nd Embarrassing Parenting Blunder (54:00)
  • Nick’s 2nd Embarrassing Parenting Blunder (57:48)
  • Kristen’s 2nd Tricks of the Trade (60:45)
  • Nick’s 2nd Tricks of the Trade (64:30)
• Kristen and Nick’s picks for historical figures from psychology they would least and most like to have dinner with (68:30)
• Kristen’s 2 parenting book recommendations (71:35)
• Kristen’s book Moose the Worry Mutt (73:45)

You can learn more about Kristen and her work here:

• Therapy Dallas (Website)

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Show Notes

• Mental health in ancient Chinese philosophy
• Eastern vs Western approaches to philosophy
• Alexus’s Essay in Aeon (12:00)
• Communal approaches to personhood (13:00)
• Character and community (19:30)
• Stoicism and Buddhism (23:20)
• Can society cause mental illness? (25:00)
• Harmony and mental health (39:50)
• Individuality, alienation, and mental health (44:00)
• Questioning cultural assumptions productively (49:40)
• Community innovation and mental health (55:00)

You can learn more about Alexus and his work here:

• Website

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Show Notes

• Psychiatrists vs psychologists
• The most important factor when choosing a psychiatrist (17:00)
• What is psychiatric medication, exactly? (18:52)
• The most common psychiatric medications (20:00)
• Selective Serotonin Reuptake Inhibitors (26:00) 
• Benzodiazepines (29:00) 
• Getting prescribed psychiatric medication by non-psychiatrists (32:00)
• Children and psychiatric medication (35:00)
• Working with a psychiatrist vs a psychologist (38:00)
• How to know if your medication is working? (39:50)
• Getting off psychiatric medications (43:00)
• Can we really trust psychiatric medications? (48:20)

You can learn more about Brian and his work here:

• Website

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Show Notes

• Meta-analysis
• David Hume, An Inquiry Concerning Human Understanding
• The four factors in procrastination:
  1. Values
  2. Self-confidence
  3. Impulsiveness
  4. Reward delay
• Task aversiveness
• Subjective Expected Utility Theory
• The Procrastination Equation
• The Marshmallow Test
• Steven Covey
• Aldus Huxely, Brave New World Revisited
• Roy Baumeister and willpower research
• Presatiation
• Drive Theory
• Learned Helplessness
• SMART Goals
• The Attention Economy
• Procrastination vs Laziness
• How to help kids with procrastination

You can learn more about Piers and his work here:

• Procrastinus (Website)
• The Procrastination Equation (Book)

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Show Notes

• Why communication is never really the problem 
• Why commitment is no guarantee of happiness
• The myth of hard work in marriage
• Why compatibility is the secret to a happy marriage
• The 3 dimensions of compatibility 
  • Practical Dimension 
    • Gender roles
    • Money and finances
    • Maintenance
    • Leisure time
    • Family boundaries and privacy
  • Wavelength Dimension 
    • Shared values
    • Spiritual orientation
    • Sense of justice
    • Shared primary concern (kids, careers, hobbies)
  •  Sexual Dimension 
    • Sexual preoccupation
    • Comfort with sexuality
    • Sexual style
• Thinking systematically about marriage
• The romantic phase of love
• The mechanics of a happy marriage 
  • Don’t leave your sex life to chance
  • Maintain your wall of privacy
  • Childproof your sexual relationship (and the rest of your relationship) 
  • Have rachmones with your spouse

You can learn more about Sam and his work here:

• Website
• Will Our Love Last (Book)
• The Newlyweds Book

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Show Notes

• The power of language for mental health and suffering
• Thought-Identity Fusion
• Learning histories and narrative habits
• Reading and social perspective-taking
• The Cat in the Hat
• False belief
• Does reading novels lead to psychological flexibility?
• Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
• Meta-Cognitive Therapy (MCT)
• Relational Frame Theory (RFT)
• Functional Analysis
• Behaviorism
• Cognitive Revolution
• B.F. Skinner
• Iatrogenics

  You can learn more about Yvonne and her work here:

• Website

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Show Notes

• The Life Coach School
• “Overeating” vs “weight loss”
• Eating as a way to push down difficult feelings
• How long do emotions really last?
• Patterns of emotional eating
• Managing urges
• Intentional vs automatic thoughts
• Curiosity and “I wonder…” statements
• Indulgent feelings
• System 1 and System 2 thinking
• Why relying on willpower usually backfires
• Shaping desire
• Real joy vs false pleasures
• Is “Listen to your body” really good advice?
• Relationship between stress and weight loss
• Relationship between food and mood
• Body positivity

You can learn more about Caitlin and her work here:

• Website
• Twitter

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Show Notes

• The relationship between feeling and action
• Morita therapy
• Feeling-centered vs purpose-centered lifestyle
• Coexisting with unpleasant feelings without acting on them 
• Cultural difference in our understanding of emotions
• Acceptance of emotions
• Content of emotions vs your relationship with your emotions 
• Zen meditation and the nature of emotions
• Working on feelings vs accepting them
• Acceptance, attachment, and suffering
• Non-resistance
• Self-focused attention
• Iatrogenics in psychotherapy
• Performance anxiety
• The Inner Game of Tennis by W. Timothy Gallwey
• Soren Kierkegaard
• Anxiety and intelligence
• Procrastination
• Michael Singer and The Untethered Soul

You can learn more about Gregg and his work here:

• Thirty Thousand Days (website)
• The To-Do Institute (website)
• The Art of Taking Action (book)

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Show Notes

• Anxiety and addiction
• "The opposite of addiction is connection." Johann Hari
• Awareness is the opposite of addiction
• Awareness by Anthony DeMelo
• Storytelling and “the grand self-deception”
• The relationship between self-awareness, self-belief, and self-deception
• Where does self-belief come from?
• The importance of friendship and vulnerability
• Surrender and peace of mind
• Relational Frame Theory and the connection between language and emotion
• The relationship between addiction and values (or the lack of values)
• Curiosity as the key to recovery and thriving
• Positive addictions
• Transforming desire
• Surviving vs thriving
• Brian’s Dr. Dolittle Story
• The importance of playfulness and humor

You can learn more about Brian and his work here:

• Website
• Bonus Time (Book)
• Social Media: Twitter | LinkedIn | Medium

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Show Notes

• What is assertiveness?
• Common misconceptions about assertiveness
• The 4 styles of communication
• The benefits of becoming more assertive
• The barriers to being assertive: the stress barrier; the social barrier; the belief barrier
• Why it’s so hard to ask for what you really want
• Demanding what we want vs informing people of what we want
• DESO scripts
• Why it’s hard to say no to what you don’t want
• How to handle confrontation well
• Strategies for constructive confrontation, especially how to find common ground
• Are we responsible for other people’s feelings?
• Beyond assertive communication: taking responsibility for your own life

You can learn more about Randy and his work here:

• Personal Website 
• YouTube Channel
• The Assertiveness Workbook (book)
• How to Be Miserable (book)
• How to Be Miserable in Your 20s (book)

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Show Notes:

• Does everyone need 8 hours of sleep per night?
• Should I go to bed at the same time every night?
• The crucial difference between feeling tired and feeling sleepy
• If I’m not getting 8 hours of sleep, am I at risk for major health issues?
• Do I need to avoid blue light before bed?
• Do things cause insomnia or beliefs about things? See also: Nick's Complete Guide to Insomnia
• The problem with sleep hygiene
• Sleep is more about what you don’t do than what you do.
• Sleep effort and the perfect metaphor for insomnia
• Is it important to get an even number of sleep cycles?
• Beware the Sleep Hygiene Industrial Complex
• If I have a big day coming up, should I get into bed early?
• Can I pay off my long-term sleep debt?
• How important is it to understand what caused my insomnia?
• Triggering factors vs maintaining factors in insomnia
• Insomnia and threat-monitoring
• Is insomnia even a sleep disorder?
• Does sleep quality deteriorate with age?
• Should I avoid exercise in the evenings?
• Intention is everything when it comes to sleep.

You can follow Daniel Erichsen online in the following places:

• Podcast
• YouTube
• Twitter

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Show Notes:

• Common misconceptions about hypnosis
• What is hypnosis, exactly?
• Hypnosis vs Positive Visualization, Flow, and Mindfulness
• What does hypnosis actually feel like?
• What is a hypnotic trance? 
• Everyday trances
• For Love of the Game
• Suggestibility
• Hypnosis and healthy behavior change
• What is hypnosis especially useful for?
• Hypnosis for smoking cessation
• Nick’s unconscious self-hypnotic inductions
• Hypnobirthing
• Self-hypnosis
• Holly Forester-Miller — Surgery video (a bit graphic!)
• Self-hypnosis for confidence and public speaking
• American Society of Clinical Hypnosis
• Traci Stein’s self-hypnosis audio programs

You can follow Traci online here:

• Website
• Twitter
• Facebook
• Instagram
• Insight Timer App

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Show Notes:

• Common misconceptions about addiction
• The 3 fundamental addictive behaviors
• Are addicts fundamentally different than non-addicts?
• Is addiction a habit?
• Addiction, loss of control, and the gun-to-the-head test
• How important is self-control and willpower in overcoming addiction?
• Cravings, Urge Surfing (Alan Marlatt), and Confidence
• Transforming desire
• Addiction as a relationship, not a thing (Stanton Peele, Love and Addiction)
• Should we legalize and/or decriminalize recreational drugs?
• The world’s first self-help books (Nichomachean Ethics)
• Association for Behavioral and Cognitive Therapies professionally vetted self-help books
• Addictive personalities
• Positive addictions
• Slips vs relapses and why the distinction matters
• The opposite of addiction is connection (John Hari)
• St. John’s College 
• How to help someone who’s struggling with addiction
• Smart Recovery
• Beyond Addiction
• Practical Recovery

You can follow Tom and learn more about his work here:

• Website
• Book: Sex, Drugs, Gambling, and Chocolate: A Workbook for Overcoming Addictions

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Show Notes:

• What is mindfulness?
• The trappings of mindfulness
• Mindfulness as exercise for your attention
• Mindfulness vs mindfulness meditation
• Formal vs ordinary mindfulness
• Mindfulness as attention management
• Giuseppe's Italian restaurant Columbus Ohio
• Are mindfulness apps overrated?
• Daron’s personal mindfulness practice
• Shinzen Young
• Daron's approach to attentional cross-training
• Obstacles to starting a mindfulness practice
• The two muscles of mindfulness
• “Mindfulness is a no-lose game that feels like a no-win game.”
• The spiritual aspects of mindfulness

You can follow Daron Larson here:

• Website
• Twitter

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