Growing up, Ryan was always a talented athlete, but he knew something was missing. As he shared last night at Versus, the void of Jesus led to a lot of brokeness. Ryan put his life and worth in his identity as a hockey player, and at times forgot his identity in Christ. This episode is his story of transformation and leaving a Jesus centered legacy. 

At Versus, our goal is for all men to do life together. That's why our motto is Don't Go Alone! 

One super helpful tool included in this month’s podcast is a step-by-step plan for tragedy response. The guys talk about how important it is to properly disclose hard-to-share information based on age and maturity level. As men, our families will respond to future tragedies by how we lead now. No matter what, we should all be ready to step forward and shout from the rooftops, “God is still sovereign!” You do not want to miss this incredible episode! 

Growing up, Bob faced an unthinkable number of challenges. From having two alcoholic parents and being one of five siblings, Bob had to grow up fast. At 15, they lost their home and all had to separate and live with friends. A few years later, the Naval Academy accepted Bob, propelling him forward to his successful business career. As you can tell, Bob has a story you wont want to miss! 

John is a big believer in the fact that if you reach the man, you eventually get the whole family. In this episode, John talks about how he plans to help move Rolling Hills men toward better spiritual leadership in their homes, workplace, and community.

Mike has worked hands on with men for many years, and he is really passionate about helping them grow in their wisdom. Wisdom is not something that comes naturally, but rather over tons of years and through a plethora of experiences. After starting his church 47 years ago, Mike had a goal of helping men grow wisdom by being Godly leaders in Church and with their families and friends. 

Later, Chase speaks on the successes of this life and how nothing compares to the eternal glory we will one day experience in heaven. It’s no secret Chase was successful in his profession. He reached the pinnacle of baseball, the major leagues. But, when going up through the minors he realized this: earthly things don’t satisfy us. Chase spoke specifically on the next promotion and the next pay increase and how it’s wonderful, but ultimately nothing compared to the fulfillment we find in Christ.

Pastor Jeff and Chase also discuss the ups and downs of careers and how certain seasons are more bountiful than others. Keeping God first through it all is vital to being a strong Christ-follower. When Chase was traded from the Padres to the Yankees, his world turned upside down. His city changed, teammates changed, and life as a whole changed. But through this season of transition, it was apparent God was working all things for good. The trade gave Chase more people to minister to and allowed for fresh perspective.

Finally, Chase speaks to men about how to leave a legacy that puts Christ above all else. As men, we are called to be the leaders of our home. We are able to put a Godly perspective on every aspect of our families lives, and Chase speaks about how he does this with his boys. In a specific example, Chase talks about how time in the deer stand has influenced his boys' walks with the Lord.

We hope you take the 30 minutes to listen to this month's podcast! It’s a great one with so many powerful messages that we hope will encourage you to lead your family in pursuit of a Christ-centered life. 

Later, Jeff and Jason talk about the act of rationalization, and how men allow themselves to use it to justify sin and spiritual complacency in their lives. As a lawyer, Jason assures us he can rationalize a lot of things, but he would agree that not everything we can do is something we should do. Excuses are cheap, but acting upon the wisdom of the Bible is worth so much to our families and our relationship with God. Jason explains how there’s no better way to keep yourself accountable to biblical living than spending life in community.

The pair also discuss the importance of prioritizing time. Do you know how many times Scripture shows us that spiritual leaders of the Bible got up early in the morning? The first step of your day sets the tone. There are tempting reports to check in the morning: work emails, national news, sports scores. But, how could our lives be different if we spent those first few minutes centered on what Jesus has to say?

And of course, for sports fans, Jason tells of the lessons he’s learned from coaching children at baseball, including what he means by the phrase, Look like a ballplayer! If teams and camaraderie are important for kids, what reason do we have to believe they’re not important for grown men, too? We hope you’ll find half an hour to listen to this month’s podcast, and that you’ll consider getting plugged into a men’s group through Rolling Hills if you haven’t already.

Together, Jeff and Diego unpack some of the most common roadblocks that keep men from serving more in their church community. Then, Diego gives advice on how he was able to overcome those excuses that he once made for himself, and he shares how serving others has blessed him with amazing relationships and a sense of purpose. 

Diego doesn’t just keep his faith to his church family, either. As a Clinical Research Manager, he regularly prays with his team members. Depending on your personal experiences, you might fervently agree with him when he says that prayer is frowned upon in corporate America. As Christians, we are called to live boldly and to be a light in a broken and fallen world. But, increasingly, it may seem like having a public faith could risk your reputation and even your job. Diego’s words will bring encouragement to anyone who feels tension in their workplace because of their faith. 

For Diego, every day is an opportunity to model a Christian life for others. He’d be the first to tell you that it’s not always fun to get up early and stay late serving – but we aren’t ultimately doing it because it’s fun. If it weren’t a sacrifice, it wouldn’t be serving. It’s not always easy and safe to proclaim the truth and to share Jesus outside the walls of a church, but there are people who need to hear it. Our families and neighbors see what we say and do, and for them, we are ambassadors for Christ. 

In the long run, choosing to be bold and selfless for the sake of Christ will never be something we regret. We hope you’ll choose to listen into this inspiring conversation, as you continue to refine and live out your own answer to that big question. 

Men came from all over to attend Versus, and God put them there for a reason. He used Versus to call men to determine the next steps to grow in their faith. Or, maybe even to call men to Himself for the first time. There was such a response to the message that was shared that dozens of men walked down in front of the crowd to announce their acceptance of Jesus as Lord and Savior of their life. Seeing other men and hearing the stories they shared of the struggles and victories they’ve had in Christ is powerful. It’s something that can happen in everyday conversations.

As Tim Tebow stated, he has a platform, and, rather than use it for selfish desires, he chooses to use it for the glory of God. We know that Scripture tells us the things of this world will return empty. So, in examining your life in this context, what is your purpose?

Like many men, do you find you identity in your job, money, or success? When you do that and something happens to throw that off-kilter, it can feel like your whole world is crashing down. That’s why we are told to seek first the kingdom of God.

So, what are the next steps after Versus? 

1. Don’t Go Alone – You may not know it, but there is power in walking with other men. Oftentimes, it isn’t until you have community that you realize how much stronger your walk can be than it is on your own. 

2. Take a Habit Inventory – Look where you are devoting your time (e.g. social media, sports, Netflix, etc.). What spiritual habits are you practicing, or could you practice, instead?

3. Spend Time with God – Be in the Word and in prayer – everyday. Not because you have to, but because you get to. We have an opportunity and are equipped to handle the things of this life by a God who loves us and wants to spend time with us. Take full advantage of this one-of-a-kind relationship. 

If you don’t know where to start, we’ve created a unique curriculum you can find below. Find some men to go through it with you and learn about the Weapons of War that God provided to help us in the battle.

Shay identifies a whole host of challenges men experience in life, whether they know it or not. Comparison. Criticism. Sexual immorality. Anxiety. Stress. A big step toward improving ourselves as men is recognizing these problems and being vulnerable enough to share them with others. Being a man doesn’t mean that you will never struggle. Being a man means acknowledging the difficulties we face and addressing them and bringing them to God and to the people God’s put in our lives. Because when men handle troubles well, it helps their marriages, kids, and community.

A fantastic opportunity to start to build a fellowship of guys is to get together for our five-week post-Versus Bible Study. You don’t need to have been to the conference to participate, because our curriculum is designed to stand alone. This is a chance to build on the ideas we introduced at Versus 22 and reach out to any men in your life who couldn’t attend. We’ll provide all the materials you need — you just need to ask other men to join you. It’s no big deal to ask a group of guys to watch sports or go fishing. Why not ask them to come together to grow in faith? As Shay suggests, if you just ask, they’ll probably say yes... Although some coffee and food could really seal the deal!

As the episode wraps up, you’ll hear Shay’s main takeaways he wants to share with you. Hear about what happens when you surrender to yourself and give things over to God. Shay tells us how things change in our lives when we choose to serve others and follow God even when we don’t feel like it. The things you like to do don’t have to be done on purpose. But, doing the things you need to do — even when it’s not easy — is what makes a man faithful.

Lastly, hear Shay’s answer to the question that’s become a tradition for the MLN podcast: what do you want your legacy to be? It’s an important question for us all to answer, and we hope you’re forming your answer and building that legacy as you continue to follow our monthly podcast. 

Well, we can start with recognizing what this event, this holiday, really means. Jesus, the perfect, sinless Son of God, died a sinner’s death on a cross. On Easter, we celebrate that this very same Jesus rose from the dead – all so that we, His children, could be cleansed once and for all for our sins. So, that means, if you really believe Jesus is who He says He is, your perspective should be changed. No longer is Easter about the bunny or the eggs, it’s about the forgiveness we received, the grace of our kind Father, and the magnitude of our sins. Though the Easter bunny and egg hunts are not wrong or bad, we simply must – as men, as parents, as husbands, as leaders – bring the focus back to the empty tomb… back to Jesus. Always.

Ultimately, the Easter story is the greatest story ever told. And, if we believe that to be true, why would we not want our kids, our families, and our coworkers to know this story more than any other story? Jacob and Chase share with us about what it means to tell the Easter story, both to yourself and to others. First, read the story yourself! Read it for the first time, or be reminded of it, and read what Jesus went through for you. Read of the hope of this story. Then, share the story with others. Talk about the story throughout this season, and use it as a means of inviting someone to an Easter service or event with you.

In today’s podcast, Jacob and Chase also share several practical tips on how you can make Easter traditions with your kids, how you can pray during this season, and how you can prioritize what matters most. Men, this podcast is one that will both equip you with the tools you need, as well as encourage you with a reminder of why Easter can truly change your life – and how Jesus, in one act, changed humanity for the rest of time. Listen today. 

As fathers we are called to be the primary disciplers of our children – but we can’t be with them all the time. Sometimes we allow our children to go out into the world and to learn from teachers at school and coaches on the field. We let them spend their time with friends and their friends’ families, and at extracurricular activities.

It’s okay to get a break from our kids! But, it’s important to take responsibility in planning the experiences that influence them, both while we’re in the room and while they’re on their own.

These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates (Deuteronomy 6:6-9).

The instructions for parenting we find in Deuteronomy make it clear: our love of God should be woven into our homes and present in even the mundane activities of our day. Following God as a family should become a habit! Jeff’s advice points to a need to be intentional about establishing that habit from birth to young adulthood and everywhere in between. The little details and moments we are given matter, and they all are opportunities from our God we must steward to make an edifying impact in the lives of our children.

Being the leader of a household is a calling which demands having our priorities straight. Jeff Simmons wants his legacy to be that of someone who pursued God’s purpose for his life. He wants for all of us to be people who invest our lives in what really matters. How do God, your spouse, your children, and your job rank in your life? And how should they rank, and why? If we can get that answer right and begin to live that way, we’ll all be on our way to being better fathers and followers of Christ. 

Listen into our conversation with Jeff this week as we talk about our ongoing journey to be Godly, effective fathers.

Show Notes:
Now celebrating their 17th year of marriage, Chris and Jenni Graebe have paid close attention to the rhythms which have led to successful marriages around them, and God has called them to share these helpful insights in their new book, The Rhythm of Us.

Marriage is one of God’s greatest gifts. It is God’s foundation for bringing new life into the world and building strong families. When things are going well, our marriage with our spouse is fulfilling, edifying, and life-giving. Each spouse puts the other’s needs before their own, serving one another as they grow closer to God.

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” – Genesis 2:18

Two are better than one,
    because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,
    one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
    and has no one to help them up.
– Ecclesiastes 4:9-10

But in practice, like most things in this life, marriage also comes with plenty of challenges. After the honeymoon phase of marriage, as life gets busy and maybe a bit mundane, staying deeply in love takes some intentionality. What can couples do to keep growing in love with one another… and with God? 

Neither Chris nor Jenni grew up in households with perfect marriages, but both gleaned examples of “what to do” and “what not to do” both before and after their own marriage. The couple met at church in their early twenties when the pastor asked the congregation to greet their neighbors. The Graebes met while worshiping God and have continued to pursue Him in their marriage. While working on their own spiritual development podcast, Jenni’s study of the spiritual discipline of crafting a rule of life inspired a new way to think about God-honoring marriage. After envisioning the spouses they wanted to be in Christ, the couple could intentionally plan the spiritual and relational practices they needed to build into their lives in order to reach that ideal. 

You’ve probably heard it said that a successful marriage requires striking the right balance. But most of us juggling family, work, church, and other responsibilities will find that total balance is difficult to reach – and even harder to maintain – as unexpected circumstances and changes arise. Instead, we could aim to find rhythm, like a couple dancing together in time. 

The Graebes found that five “rhythms” help to strengthen Godly relationships:

1. Speaking life
2. Serving
3. Slowing down
4. Seeking adventure
5. Staying in awe 

Like Jenni, we should all aspire to build the kind of marriage that our children will long to have for themselves. Tune in to this month’s podcast to hear more about what God has done in the lives and marriage of the Graebes, and to explore new ways to grow spiritually as husband and wife. 

 “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself.” – Matthew 22:37-39

Love matters. It matters to those around us, it matters to our innermost being, and most of all, it matters to God. If love is the finish line, what are the guideposts along the way? How do we get there? In the New Year we hope to encourage you that in the race for love: 

1. Goals Matter
2. Time Matters
3. Relationships Matter

Brett’s story shows us all that God puts each of us in a time and a place for a purpose. Sometimes it may be a trial we’re in, where leaning into Jesus can provide us the way out and an invaluable lesson. Often it is in the deepest valleys when we can draw nearest to the Lord. Sometimes it’s in the everyday – handling your career to provide for your family, keeping up with your small children who require so much of your energy, or maybe it’s an area of ministry in which God has called you to use your gifts. Brett speaks about his path to a songwriting career and how so many try for years without success. Sometimes He places the most unlikely person in your path to show you a different way. 

Brett tried to make it for seven years before moving on and going back to medical school. But as much as he felt prompted to do this for the greater good of providing for his family, God moved in an unexpected way when he continued to use his gift. He persevered in his passion of songwriting while attending classes. God showed him (in record time) that this passion and gift would be rewarded as He carved out his own path for Brett’s life.  Look around – there is plenty of evidence that you don’t have to work in ministry to fulfill God’s plan for your life. We are all gifted in certain areas and each job, task, or career can be a mission-field. If we keep our identity deeply rooted in Christ, we can find meaning in our lives, which is far greater than needing to find meaning in our careers. 

“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters, since you know that you will receive an inheritance from the Lord as a reward. It is the Lord Christ you are serving.” 

– Colossians 3:23-24

As we encouraged you to close 2021, this race is much easier to run with brothers, fellowship, and the accountability we can find when we don’t go alone. Give the podcast a listen this month and follow up each Friday with a different focus on our Goals, Time, and Relationships to help you achieve what really matters this year and beyond.

Don’t skip Christmas just because there is an empty seat at the table. Jesus is there in these struggles and also calls us to commune with believers who can hold our arms up when we feel like we can’t. Scott and Kathy share their insights on growing and extended families and healthy ways to hold fast to some traditions while embracing new ones.

I believe there is a reason we celebrate Thanksgiving leading up to Christmas. It sets your heart in the right place as you try to center your thoughts on the joy and the miracle of Jesus’ birth. As Kathy points out, this time of year serves as a reminder that life is short and we must focus on what is important. This is a time to be grateful and generous for what the Father has done for us and continues to do through us. If you are struggling, start an advent study, speak with someone that can help, or journal about God’s blessings in your life, including those you’ve lost.

When you look back on the traditions and busyness of your life, what will your legacy be? Will you start to read the Christmas story with your family to reflect on the importance of Jesus as man? Will you hold fast to the traditions of those no longer with us, and form new ones to pass down to the generations to come? Scott and Kathy want their legacy to be someone remembered for pointing others to Jesus. To fulfill the Great Commission and to share the Good News with all those they encounter. It’s easy to lose sight of this simple request when we focus on things other than Jesus at Christmas.

No matter where you are, there is a God who loves you and has a purpose your life. He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow. He is there with you at the mountain top and He is with you in the valley. If you are struggling in your marriage, fix your eyes on Jesus. If you’re going through a difficult diagnosis, fix your eyes on Jesus. If you are grieving a loss or have an unexpectedly empty seat at your table, fix your eyes on Jesus. He truly is the reason for the season. 

Through his story of recovery, Greg highlights the need to bring our struggles into the light where they no longer have the same power that they do behind closed doors. He demonstrates how our desires and worldly pursuits often leave us feeling guilt, shame, and abandonment. Yet, when we are open and transparent with those we trust, those barriers and walls start to come down, and we can hold one another accountable in ways we could never do alone. 

You see, Christian men for too long have thought they need to be a symbol of perfection, but this was never God’s design. We are not perfect, so we shouldn’t feel the need to pretend that we are. The fact of the matter is, we can’t accomplish God’s plans without ceding control to the same Almighty God. Needing help is the way God created us. We need His divine help, but we also need the help of our brothers. 

If you find yourself struggling with addiction, covetousness, lust, or any other part of your thought life, Greg encourages you to make that known to someone you trust. If you need that kind of help, seek it out. If someone comes to you in need of your help, freely give it without judgment. There is a path to recovery, but we were never meant to walk the path alone.

Next Steps
1. When you examine your thought life, what triggers do you have?
2. Have you been struggling in the shadows with a secret sin or lustful thoughts?
3. Do you have someone you trust to have this kind of openness with? If so, I encourage you to reach out to them and seek accountability.

From fighting the urge to follow what culture says to staying faithful and pure in the midst of temptation to struggling with his own insecurities and battles, Elijah faced many challenges in his lifetime, but even through it all, he found God to be his faithful Rock, and he found another Christ-following man to fight with him in battle. We, too, will face many challenges, temptations, and trying circumstances because we’re all in a battle – each and every day – with a real Enemy. But, like Elijah, we were created to walk with God and walk with other men as we face our everyday battles. 

In a matter of moments, Elijah went from staging and witnessing one of God’s large-scale miracles against the worshippers of Baal, to fleeing alone to an empty cave full of fear, worry, and anxiety. If someone with the resume of Elijah, who God spoke to and worked miracles through, discovered that he couldn’t handle life alone, how much more do we need to come to this realization? 

As men, we face battles every day. Our careers, marriages, how we raise our children, relationships, our mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual health – all present unique challenges. We live in a culture that would have us shoulder this responsibility alone, but Scripture shares a different truth: 

“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” – Proverbs 27:17

Even a man like the prophet Elijah struggled when he tried to shoulder the burden alone. But in the face of Elijah’s struggles, there are lessons to be learned:

1. Stand Strong for the Lord, even when it is unpopular. Elijah saw the destruction that worshipping other gods brought and wasn’t afraid to challenge those around him to show God’s strength.
2. Listen and Pray. God’s triumph on Mount Carmel was a spectacle seen by hundreds and when the dust had settled, Elijah began to fear the opponents who were still left. At first, he tried to handle this alone, but the Lord made it clear that he could not. In fact, he never had, God was always with him. Who better to take with you into battle than the Lord of the Universe?
3. Invite other Men to the Walk. After God came to him in the cave, Elijah set out and found a fellow brother to walk alongside him; someone to pour into, someone to hold him accountable, and someone to encourage him in his mission.

God is with you in whatever battle you are facing and tells you: Don’t Go Alone! When we isolate, we put ourselves and our families in danger. If you’re struggling or think you can handle everything on your own, lay that down at the feet of Jesus. Don’t let the enemy gain a foothold in your life, in your marriage, in your children’s lives. Right now is our time to make a difference. Man-up and take others into the battle with you.

1. What's the last thing you've opened up fully to your wife or community group about?
2. When you have emotions and start to hold them back, why is it you feel like you shouldn't share?
3. What is something you've been wanting to share with someone but haven't yet? Who could you share it with and when?

Though he began his career in the corporate world, several opportunities that, at the time, were fairly risky crossed his path, and Will ended up making the move to become an entrepreneur and business owner. Now, as the owner of several businesses in the Nashville area, including Mojos Tacos, Five Daughters Bakery, and Burger Up, as well as a Commercial Real Estate Entrepreneur and Wealth Advisor at TBH Global in Franklin, TN, Will still makes it a priority to keep his faith first, his family second, and his work third. And, when it does come to work, he firmly believes that its our duty as Christ-followers to give our very best to all that we do.

You'll hear it over and over again from Will in this month's podcast. Work hard. That's your job. Work hard. God will work through your work.

We can find ourselves falling into a routine. We answer the emails, go to the meeting, scarf down lunch still swallowing on our way to the next meeting, carve out some time to get that proposal done, then jump to the next thing until it's time to go home. Just to wake up, rinse, and repeat.

It's our nature to slip into routine. We can so easily be lulled to sleep in our everyday lives, but that's not how Christ called us to work.

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters... (Colossians 3:23) You've heard it before. We're not meant to coast through our work and cash our check (excuse the outdated reference). As a man, you're called to pour yourself out daily to the fullest extent.

Take a moment to dissect a key part of the verse. It says "work at it." That's it. No qualifiers, no wiggle room, no room for excuses. It doesn't say when you feel like working at it, it doesn't say when you want to work at it, or even when you're having a good day, work at it. God tells us to work at it. Plain and simple. All the time work at it.

Secondly and just as important, it says "with all your heart." You may have convinced yourself if you just do the thing, then you've submitted yourself fully to the command. But you haven't. God's not just concerned if you're working at it, He wants you to give of yourself entirely. Translation: you should be exhausted at the end of the day. You should be proud of the work and effort you put in each day. You should want to sign your name on the day and say, "Yeah, I did that today." You're working to bring honor to God in your day job. Whether it's behind a computer or out in the field, God is concerned with your effort level because He has you exactly where He wants you in His plans, and it's up to you to stay fully engaged with His work. Which is ours.

So, take the time to listen to Will Butler's podcast today, then sit down and think through a couple of these questions:

1. Did you give "all your heart" to your work yesterday? If you did, how do you know? If you didn't, why not?
2. If you could redo yesterday, what would you change? Apply that change to today.
3. If you gave all your heart to your work every day for a year, what would life look like at the end of that year?
4. When was the last time you asked God to supply you with the energy and discernment for the day?

Let’s not miss it. One of the most important things that we can do is influence others towards eternity, especially the next generation. We all have a high calling to introduce the next generation to Jesus and to invest. Read this short story about people bringing children to Jesus.

Then people brought little children to Jesus for Him to place His hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked them.
Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” When He had placed His hands on them, He went on from there.
Matthew 19:13-15

Notice several things…

1. People were bringing people to Jesus. Not just parents. This calling is for ALL people within the church. 
2. We are to create pathways for the next generation to have encounters with Jesus. 
3. Jesus made time for the next generation. 

Here are the probabilities of people accepting Jesus Christ as their Savior for a lifetime relationship.

• Two-thirds of Christians came to faith before the age of 18. 
• 43% came to Christ before age 12.
• Less than one-fourth of current believers came to Christ after the age 21. 

That is why I believe we need to be intentional about reaching the children of today. That is why Kids & Students Ministry is important to the future of the church. 

Men, let’s lead the next generation well. Let’s point them to the truth of God’s Word and the grace found in Jesus. Let’s do our part to leave a faith legacy that far outlives us and generations to come.

As leaders, we all face defining moments in our lives. Too often, our human nature wins out, and we choose the path of safety and comfort, instead of leaning into our passions and responding to the needs around us. Ken grew up in church and knows how important strong biblical principles are to shaping us as leaders. When Ken was introduced to the statistic that 43% of the U.S. population isn’t associated with a local church, he became laser-focused on finding creative ways to bridge the gap. 

As you listen to today’s interview, ask yourself these two questions:

1. What are the felt needs you see in your community? 
2. How has God gifted you, and where is the intersection of these skills and the needs you just listed?

Now... act. You’ll never have the perfect plan, it will never be the perfect time, and the enemy will always plant seeds of doubt about how you aren’t ready. Act anyway. God can do miracles with just one small step of obedience.  

Chris starts the conversation talking about his family, the people who mean the most to him in the world. Chris has been married to his wife, Traci, for 27 years. They have two children, Kara-Anne (22) and Will (18). With Will graduating from high school this month and starting college in the fall, Chris and Traci are about to enter into a new phase of their lives as empty-nesters.

A native of Georgia, Chris studied psychology at Berry College and has been working in ministry since 1990. Most recently, he served 19 years on the pastoral staff at Westover Church in Greensboro, NC, as Staff Pastor where he provided oversight for equipping his staff and leadership development. Today, Chris serves on staff with Justice and Mercy International, where he manages JMI’s international programs and helps establish partnerships with churches, organizations, and schools.

As you listen to Chris and Pastor Jeff, what shines through is Chris's passion for the work to which God has called him at this moment with JMI, as well as an overall passion for men to see the places we find ourselves today as our mission field. We must make the intentional efforts in the big events of our lives and in the everyday routines to point people to Christ.

Next Steps
1. Can you think about a time you were a part of something bigger than yourself?
2. Have you had a specific situation or circumstance that caused your faith in Christ and love for Him to grow?

If you want to learn more about JMI's work or get involved, visit their website here. There are many opportunities to be a part of what God is doing through their ministry.

Teddy grew up in upstate New York in what he describes as a “stereotypical Italian-American family.” He and his wife Renee have been married for 19 years and have two kids in high school. After graduating from college, Teddy moved to Georgia where he spent 12 years coaching high school football. He then moved to California to begin his career in the mortgage banking industry, which is what he still does today.

When you listen in on Teddy’s conversation, you will immediately find out that he has a passion for God’s Word, a commitment to living out his faith in Christ wherever God puts him, and a fire to invest in others and make a Gospel impact in their lives.

One of the lives he has impacted is a young man named Chad who was the server at the restaurant Teddy and Renee visited weekly after church. I am confident that each of us will be challenged by this story of how an intentional relationship that was built over time resulted in Chad trusting Christ, and Teddy having the pleasure of baptizing him last year.

Teddy also shares how he sends a daily Bible reading email with notes, commentary, context, background, geography, and history to help others read and understand Scripture. If you are interested in getting Teddy’s daily email simply share your email address with us, and Teddy will add you to his list.

Next Steps
1. Who are the people that God has placed in the natural rhythms of your life – in your home, in your neighborhood, at your office, or gym
2. What would it look like for you to begin to be intentional, available, and willing in the next several weeks as you interact with them?

"Life is not a spectator's sport. Get in the Game!"These were the words that Chris Miller heard from his mother as a child and they shaped him into the man, husband, father, anchorman, and Christ-follower he is today. Chris grew up in Colorado and has always loved being outdoors, skiing, hiking, fishing and soaking up all that life has to offer. After playing football in college, Chris began his career in broadcast journalism covering local sports. His career took him all over the west coast and, along the way, he crossed paths with a wonderful young weather broadcaster named Elyse. They moved to Southern California and were married. In 2011 they made the trip to Nashville for CMA Fest and as they were leaving town he remembers Elyse saying, "Ya know, I think we could raise a family here." In 2016, they made the move to Nashville as Chris earned the role of News Anchor for NBC's Nashville affiliate, WSMV News 4. We're honored to share the stage with Chris as he transitions from the person asking the questions to the one answering them. He'll share his thoughts on how he prioritizes faith, marriage, parenting, and career, (in this order) and how he works every day to be a godly leader at home, at work, and in the community. 

In our Men's Leadership Network interview this week we spoke with Jason Loudon. Jason has been an educator his entire career and currently serves as a middle school principal. As we hear almost weekly reports about the rise in anxiety and depression in the U.S., especially in children age 10-18, we all want to know as dads, granddads, uncles, and leaders how we can be part of the solution.In today's interview, Jason shares some great insight into what kids are facing and some simple, yet important, steps we can take to invest in the next generation.

The Daily Step Reading Plan  

But at that moment, the spirit moved Jason and he asked for help. He had tried to fight this losing battle by himself for too long. The response he got from God was deafening. In an instant, he stood up sober and took a bus back to his car. He drove all night back home, not arriving until 3 a.m. When he got home, he took a shower fully clothed and cried. That was Jason’s turning point.

Jason’s story in this month’s interview with Pastor Jeff is incredible, and it speaks to some common themes that so many men struggle with. Here are some things to reflect upon as you watch.

1. We can’t win our battles in a spiritual vacuum. We can certainly have allies in our friends and family, but the toughest battles we will fight day-in and day-out will be the ones where we need God’s help. And not just God’s help, but his unending grace and forgiveness.
2. Lean into your faith journey. Jason heard God speak to him on that fateful night in Florida, but he didn’t let that be the end of his relationship with God. He leaned into his faith journey and found a church community that supported him in his steps forward. If we’re not leaning into our faith journey then we’re moving backwards. It doesn’t have to be big strides forward every day, but it also can’t be stagnant.
3. Listen to God, even when it seems like it’s a whisper. As you listen to Jason’s story, you may pick up on times when his alcoholism had him flirting with disaster in both his marriage and his work. The most destructive lie we can believe is that because we didn’t implode during a moment like that, there’s not a problem. But as C.S. Lewis’ Demon Uncle Screwtape said in The Screwtape Letters, “It is funny how mortals always picture us as putting things into their minds: in reality, our best is done by keeping things out.”

Jason’s story is one of struggle, redemption, courage, and grace. It takes a lot of courage for a man to admit his faults. For that, he has our respect. It takes an even stronger man to share those faults with the world. For that, he has our admiration.

That experience made for a wonderful analogy for Josh on the importance of serving as a spiritual mentor for the next generation. It was a great example of the same kind of guidance and leadership that Josh’s own father, also in auto sales, showed him growing up. For Josh’s father, you showed your faith through your actions and knew that authenticity trumped charisma any day.

Josh’s stories and wisdom shared in this special video are priceless and something every father, mentor, and leader will want to take to heart.

It’s easy to think a crooked tree isn’t a problem to be solved today, but the investment today will pay off for a lifetime.

Steve Davis’ experience with international missionary work wasn’t just a “dip a toe in the water” kind of experience; it was a “dive head-first into the deep end” experience. It was also one that profoundly impacted him. It started with a mission trip to Russia, and Steve carried some significant reluctance into the trip. His team flew into Moscow and then took a 2 ½ hour bus ride to an orphanage. It was there that he met a young man named Artiom who, after only two weeks, proclaimed Steve as his best friend.

And it’s not the only impactful story that Steve shares in this interview with Pastor Jeff.

Since then, Steve has never passed up an opportunity to step off the sidelines, step out of the comfort zone, and get in the game with international mission work.

Steve’s mission work continued in Eastern Europe and focused on Moldova, the poorest country in Eastern Europe where an estimated 60% of girls being sex trafficked in Europe come from. Even today, posters cover community bulletin boards advertising easy visas for young women, the false promise of an escape.

As men, we are natural protectors. It’s in our DNA to defend our families and villages. This is most readily seen in fatherhood. At night we tuck our kids into bed, and occasionally a monster appears under the bed or in the closet, and we swoop in to save the day. But for many of the children in Moldova, the Amazon, or South Africa the monsters that scare them are very real.

Steve’s call to action is for us is best shared through a young girl in India he asked about the moral of the Good Samaritan story: Don’t pretend not to see what you see. 

After listening to Steve’s story you will know what you need to know, and you will have seen what you need to see. 

So, get off the sidelines, put on a jersey, and get in the game. Whether it’s through sponsoring a child, making a gift, or going on a mission trip yourself to jump into the pool like Steve did, you have a real opportunity today to be someone’s protector.

We live in a day and age where we are often rushing through one race, just to jump into the next one. We want to binge watch an entire season of a show in a single weekend, only to spend hours aimlessly searching through Netflix for something else. We want to chase after the fleeting quick pleasures of life, only to find that our short-term dopamine rush leaves as quickly as it entered.

But life, at least the life God intended us to embrace, is a not a sprint but a marathon.

Steve Campbell’s story is a great example of how we can all be better marathon runners. His family grew at a marathon pace, from fertility treatments to adoptions. It meant taking the blessings God gave them as they were delivered, and not rushing to snatch them out of thin air. His marriage moves at a marathon pace because when the divorce rate for couples with a special needs child is 80% you take each day one at a time.

But running the marathon of life also comes with its own pitfalls, complacency being the chief culprit. Steve reminds us that we need to be present with our spouses and our children. Sometimes that means not rushing to fix problems but instead being an active listener. Sometimes that means spending time with each child to truly understand them and the love they need. And sometimes that means having the confidence to leave work at work.

There’s plenty we, as men, can relate to and learn from in Steve’s sit down with Pastor Jeff.

As you watch/listen, think about your own life. Are there times in the last month that you’ve been running a sprint and not a marathon? If so, what can you do today to slow things down? Maybe it’s turning the TV off during dinner or putting the phone down when you’re talking with your partner. Or maybe it’s leaning into your role as your family’s spiritual leader.

We’re all imperfect and guilty of sprinting in our lives but failing to recognize it means we’ll have nothing left in the tank when we need it the most.

To a cynic, it’s an eye-roll inducing quote, but there is an ample amount of truth to the message. Not that we should be the models of perfection every day, but if perfection becomes our natural goal then even when we miss, we hit pretty darn close. In the context that Lombardi delivered it, it also speaks to being a team, on the same page, and modeling the way. It means creating a new normal.

That’s sentiment exists in our very own community with Travis Anderson. A Williamson County native, Travis’ roots run deep through the community. As a Partner with TBH Global Asset Management, his career means odd hours and unique challenges every day.

But he’s quick to point out that it would all be for naught without his team: His wife, Wren, and his children, Olivia, Molly, and Scott. For Travis, it’s all about the “We” and rarely about the “I.”

Modeling the way means setting a godly example in his life to inspire his children to get involved with Shower Up or even start an elementary school Bible study. Being on the same page means ensuring his wife knows that their future is not separate but the same and to be passionate fans of each other’s work and calling.

It would be a disservice to try and tell Travis’ story for him, but spoiler alert: It’s awesome and inspiring.

As you walk away from the video think about who God put on our team and how we support that team and nourish it. Also, think about what Travis means when he references living a life like Matthew and leaving the world a better place. What can we do today to aim for those goals? We will stumble and fall, certainly, but if we aim for perfection in those efforts then we’ll catch excellence.

In anticipation for the Ryder Cup that kicked off today, we sat down with Clayton Hromadka, the Executive Director of the PGA of Tennessee. While his career is now consumed with the game of golf, it's one of the few sports he never played as a kid growing up in a small town a few miles outside of Waco, TX. If he had played, however, he would have likely excelled at the sport, as he did with just about everything else he set his mind to as a kid. As an all-state athlete in multiple sports, student body president and academic standout, he resembled the type of picture perfect, "all American boy" you'd find in the movies. At home, however, Clayton faced a different kind of reality. One he was not proud of, one he did everything he could to hide, and one that had been passed down from generation to generation in his family. 

Clayton's story of confronting generational sin, while unique to him, is not uncommon for any of us. As men, we are all carrying the weight of sin around with us. Some we may have inherited from our parents and some are the result of bad decisions we've made along the way. But, as Clayton shares in his story, we all have a mulligan at our disposal; an opportunity to start fresh, leave the past behind and move forward as a new and better Christ follower, husband, father, boss, and leader. Clayton shares in his interview that the first step to moving forward is forgiveness. You have to be willing to accept God's forgiveness and then forgive yourself if you ever hope to move forward. There is an old saying that, "The best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago. The second best time is now." You can't change your past, but you can own your future. And today, gentlemen is as good a day as any to take that first step.

Ben Midgette is the EWP Sales Manager for LP Building Products. While in his youth, like so many growing teens and younger adults who were raised in church, Ben experienced a season of risk and rebellion. However, God protected him during that season and eventually he returned his life to Christ. Which helped him build a marriage on a foundation of faith. That wasn’t the end of the story. Ben’s passion to be a driven leader translated into extreme workaholism. For a while, career came first, even before God. Even after reprioritizing and putting God first, his career was still a close second. Then, one day there was a moment in a men’s leadership Bible study, God revealed His plans for Ben’s family, which would lead to another reprioritization.

Ben wanted to invest in his kids, which prompted him to create “right of passage” moment to mark the transition to manhood and womanhood. Ben’s journey through adolescence was directed toward risks and challenges. As a result, he wanted to provide a healthy option for his kids to be pushed. He and his wife decided on a one-on-one dad experience at age 16, and an international mission trip with mom post senior-year.

The criteria for the “right of passage” moment is: 

1. Something that he and his child work towards together (example: scuba diving, which requires a season of learning and preparation before the pinnacle experience.)  For his oldest, Camron, who is now a sophomore at UT Knoxville, it was a seven-day hiking trip. Prolonging the ramp-up time enhances the shared joy of the experience once it arrives and makes it all the more memorable. 
2. Investment from others through words of affirmation and letters of admonition to pour into the life of his developing teen. As parents, it’s one thing to encourage and affirm your children, but when other trusted peers and adults do the same, it reinforces the message and enhances the experience. 

 WHAT IT MEANS: 

Through this whole process Ben experienced an unforeseen outcome. He learned as much, if not more, from his son through this first right of passage experience. Many men might resonate with this idea for their sons, but what about their daughters? Ben just completed his trip with his 16-year-old daughter. The difference between Ben’s desire for adventure and his daughter’s lack of it prompted, Ben to know God better as he learned to meet his daughter where she is at in the way that our Heavenly Father does with us. It was an entirely different lesson, but Ben learned just as much and was able to invest in his daughter as much as he was in his son.

It’s all about investment and valuing relationship. At work we have goals, ROI’s and strategic emphases. We plan, schedule, budget and work hard to keep each of our areas of output always moving in the right direction. We need that same level of intentionality in parenting. 

 WHAT TO DO NEXT: 

The best advice Ben has ever received: Don’t waste your trials. We can learn as much, if not more, from difficulty and adversity. Don’t fast forward through hardship because it really is God’s megaphone to speak loudly and also deeply into our lives.

Then as a final thought. Your kids are going to be led by someone. Is it going to be you or someone else? You get to choose. It doesn’t have to be a milestone moment or a big one-on-one trip but kids need parents who will not only love them, but also lead them.

 MLN BOOK RECOMMENDATION: 

Don’t Miss It: Parent Every Week Like It Counts by Reggie Joiner & Kristen Ivy

You know what your kid is going through is just a phase, but what does that really mean?

Don't Miss It reminds parents that phases are not just periods of time to be survived, but opportunities to be maximized. It gives parents a simple strategy for parenting every week like it counts. It can help them reprioritize their time with their kids; it may even change how they see their kids and themselves. Learn more.

Amy Alexander is the Co-Founder and Executive Director of The Refuge Center for Counseling. Amy is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who has been practicing for sixteen years. Her areas of clinical focus include trauma, domestic and sexual violence, grief and loss and identity work. It was ongoing Christian counseling and opportunities to serve on mission (both nationally and abroad) throughout adolescence, that solidified the faith that she placed in Christ as a child. 

SIDE BAR:Studies have indicated and proved that young adults who remain close to Christ in college and beyond are those who had consistent adults investing in their lives throughout their teen years and opportunities to serve and lead. 

At the Refuge Center for Counseling, Amy seeks to serve people in all walks of life at all points of crisis. The vision of the Refuge Center was to be a systemic organization and allow all members of the family to receive help at one location. Rather than the sterile work environment provided at other sliding-scale, non-profit mental health providers, the Refuge Center committed themselves to providing an aesthetically and technologically advanced center. Amy credits the Lord for sustaining that vision. It’s the Refuge Center’s commitment to provide depth of ministry and complete trust in God to provide the rest, that makes the greatest difference. 

 WHAT IT MEANS: 

At any given time, we all have 3-4 blindspots, things in life that are present but not visible to us. We need professionals in our lives to point out those issues so that we can live at optimal health. For men who are averse to seeking mental health support, it’s easier to point out that we see a dentist for things we can’t see, prevent, or fix ourselves. We take our car to auto repair shops for the same thing. People, particularly men, need to know that seeking emotional and mental health support is the same (necessary) thing. Which requires us to have sympathy and empathy for our peers.

Sympathy is noticing someone is in a hole and offering condolences and consideration.

Empathy is climbing down in the hole with them to offer emotional support and togetherness.

Warning signs for men include anxiety, anger, power and control among others that a man is struggling and needs help. When someone points out the blindspot or we begin to see the warning signs, additional help is necessary and available.

Switching gears, it’s not just individuals that can be healthy or experience hiccups. Organizational cultures can experience the same thing. Organizations heavy on relationships can suffer because teams don’t have the hard conversations. Work environments heavy on outcomes can suffer because teams don’t see or truly value one another. One of the indicators of a healthy culture is brave apologies, where high tier leaders make bold private and sometimes public apologies recognizing moments of weakness or failure within the organization and the effects on people. Knowing that God (and also others) can do things without us may be an ego killer, but it’s a consideration of overall health.   WHAT TO DO NEXT: 

Take an inventory. Who is speaking into your life and making investments to help you be the best you can be. You need 4-7 non-family members who can do that. Who are your spiritual leaders? What is your church attendance and participation like? What are your go-to podcasts? How are you being spiritually renewed through scripture, music, sermons and reflection? It’s not enough to “set it and forget it” and avoiding challenges won’t eliminate them. Scripture is clear. Love matters more than results. It matters more than accolades and accomplishments. Figuring out a way to prioritize living in a way that illustrates love is worth the emotional/mental health work it will take to operate from that place. 

 MLN BOOK RECOMMENDATION: 

Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend

To regain control of your life, you’ve never needed Boundaries more than you do today in today’s always-on, always-connected digital world. Drs. Henry Cloud and John Townsend wrote the New York Times bestselling book on Boundaries – the personal property lines that...(learn more)

Brett Kern, punter for the Tennessee Titans, grew up in upstate New York in a family with strong Christian values. He became a Christian at an early age, but never really understood what a relationship with Jesus meant until later ok. After graduating from High School, Brett was recruited to play football at the University of Toledo.  

Brett’s college experience was a turning point within his faith journey. Being away from his parents for the first time with new freedom and the pressure to confirm, he began to pursue a life of partying and drinking. Soon he became dependent on alcohol. Brett hit rock bottom with the reality of the direction of his life after having a bad experience with alcohol consumption one night during a party. He quickly realized that his addiction had gotten out of control and needed help.

That event lead him to pursue a different path and he began to turn towards his faith in Christ. Brett also turned toward his now wife, Tiffany, and others who were instrumental in his faith journey.

After four years punting for the University of Toledo, he was drafted by the Denver Broncos. With many ups and downs in his first years as an NFL punter, Brett ended up in Nashville, TN playing for the Titans. 

Throughout Brett’s journey he has grown to love God’s word and live passionately for his wife and kids. He takes every opportunity he can to share his faith in his work place, so that others can know and love Jesus.

Brett’s main goal is to let people know who he is and what he is about. Brett wants to make an impact on people’s lives through his relationship with Jesus. No matter who comes and goes, he wants people to remember him as a follower of Christ.

What it means:

Faith and Family matters. In a culture that stresses the importance of getting ahead, dreaming big, setting selfish goals, taking care of your needs first and seeking out temporary happiness, we have to continue to place our faith and family first.

Brett reminded us that in order to pursue a relationship with Christ we need to be in God’s Word. He made reference to his mentor, Scot Lehman, from “In His Grip” Ministry. Scott once told Brett, “You’d never miss a tee time, so why would you miss your tee time with God?” As men, we need to make God’s Word a priority not only for our lives, but our families. Allow your kids to see your faith journey. Be a good steward of your time and make it a priority to show your kids that your faith in Jesus and love for your wife are most important. 

Brett also reminded us to love our wives with passion. Brett was quick to brag on his wife for who she is and all she has done. To be a man of God, we have to learn to love our wives well.

Consider this: what type of story are you telling with your pursuit of your faith and family?

What to do next:

After hearing Brett speak so boldly of his faith and family, I believe there are immediate next steps for us:

1. Make a priority of your daily time with God. Carve out time today to begin a new daily habit of prayer and reading God’s Word.
2. Brag on your God. Take advantage of opportunities you have at work to talk about Jesus and pray for others.
3. Brag on your wife. Celebrate her not only privately, but publicly.

More than a Carpenter by Josh McDowellJosh McDowell's timeless examination of the true nature of Christ and his impact on our lives is one of the best-selling Christian books ever. Written by a former skeptic of Christianity, it is a hard-hitting book for those who doubt Jesus' Deity and His purpose.Learn More

In 1997 Jeff Hooper, Executive Operations Director, Chick-fil-A, Cool Springs; dealt with a lot of tragedy, from the death of his father, divorce and bankruptcy. That prompted him to return to following Christ and committing to living a life of faith. It’s a daily decision to do the faith-filled spiritual leadership thing which is often the brave and risky option. God’s impact on Jeff’s family and career is what drives him today. In 2001, Jeff walked away from a six figure job in the software industry to make sandwiches for minimum wage at a local Chick-fil-A. Jeff worked there as a high school student but didn’t imagine it being part of his career until God’s voice spoke it clearly to him at 37.

Going the $7/hour route is not a blueprint for success. But Jeff wife’s income was equal to his past job and their lifestyle was lavish but they were not happy. He came to the conclusion that he needed to be surrounded by Christ-followers in a Christian culture every day in order to walk in faith. Three years into his vocational transition, his wife followed suit and left significant income to pursue God’s call for their family. Botton line: God’s call always trumps worldly success.

The black eye of bankruptcy kept Jeff from being an owner operator. What did he do? Jeff made it his career mission to help as many others achieve that dream status along the way. His goal as a leader: to give every single piece of wisdom, knowledge and experience away as possible. What It Means: 

Jeff has now served in leadership at two of the highest grossing Chick-fil-A stores. In one year, they did in excess of $8.5 million. They didn’t do that because the goal was $8.5 million that year. They did it because the goal was over $9 million the following year. Being ahead of the goal curve makes a difference. 

Everyone knows Chick-fil-A as a premier service industry. In some ways, the service trumps the chicken. Jeff credits the core principle of being brave enough to be a servant leader. Jesus spoke it best. “I did not come to be served, but to serve.” Here’s a mindset shift. Move from “what can I get done today?” to “who can I serve today?” Jeff is fully aware that 99% of the employees Chick-fil-A hires and uses will not make fast food service their career. Caring about their future, regardless of where it leads, is a passion for Jeff. 

Jeff manages and leads loads of millennials. His goal isn’t to understand the box, but to know the human being and discover what it takes to lead and inspire. One of the things Jeff identifies is the young leaders who want to lead by learning to lead themselves first. It’s happening in his own family as his teenage son learns to serve in the life of the local church. What We Do Next: 

Consistency over time; listening as a leader; and making decisions matter when it comes to every type of leadership even spiritual leadership. Sometimes we complicate our directions in order to feel smarter and even more spiritual. In many cases, the simplest solution is the right solution.  As men, we must make the call to follow God when the choice is clear and also when it doesn’t make sense. Jeff wants to be known as a leader who gave everything away. As a society, we tend to lean toward having, holding and hoarding. One of the best spiritual leadership practices is to hold things loosely and giving it away. 

 MLN Resources: 

How did you do it, Truett? A Recipe for Success by S. Truett Cathy

How does the man working behind the counter of a mom-and-pop diner for twenty-one years turn a good idea into a restaurant chain worth $2 billion annual sales? S. Truett Cathy, founder and CEO of Chick-fil-A, shares the answers in How Did You Do It, Truett? The inventor of the chicken sandwich and the founder of Chick-fil-A, Truett Cathy also pioneered quick-service food in shopping malls, and is now one of America's most successful and respected businessmen. His restaurants, which are always closed on Sunday, achieve higher sales per unit than others that remain open seven days a week. Learn more.

A salvation experience as a child and the subsequent call led Stan to pursue what he thought would be a career in ministry, but after a chance encounter with a Metro Police ride-along led he found his calling in law enforcement. After completing his new major, criminal justice, Stan launched his career as a police officer and eventually worked his way to the DEA, where he just celebrated his 20 year work anniversary.

There is an opioid epidemic in our country. Heroine is on the rise nationally and here in middle TN, it is brought into our lives by over-prescribed narcotics. It’s no longer the stereotypical drug dealer we imagined from television shows but doctors, pharmacies, and big businesses engaged in criminal activity prescribing and providing drugs for profit. What It Means: 

So how do we protect ourselves? Stan’s personal story about managing his own son’s pain level after a sport’s injury gives insight. At one point or another, we may be prescribed an opioid or narcotic for pain management, and in many cases, it takes someone else helping us be conscious of the potential for harm. 

“An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” An uninformed person, particularly an uninformed parent, is no excuse. Utilizing the resources provided on the DEA website is an immediate win. Much like conversations about teens abusing technology, engaging in underage drinking and sexual activity; parents have a responsibility to know what is out there in the world seeking to destroy our kids. Opioid use is a preventable, diagnosable and treatable disease. We can offer protection but it requires information and education. 

Since, we don’t understand is the sheer power of a single microgram of manufactured opioid within a prescribed medication, we should not take these drugs lightly. Professionally, Stan contends that the legalization of marijuana has only lessened the fear-factor associated with drugs, particularly those found in or related to prescriptions. We simply cannot afford to underestimate these drugs. What We Do Next: 

For those that this crisis has hit personally, it’s a tragic, unfortunate platform that must be leveraged. Stan sees moms who are open and vocal after tragedy. They share their stories to engage the fight for others. It creates levels of prevention and protection. He rarely sees men or fathers who have been impacted by the opioid crisis do the same. Men who have experienced this need to stand up and speak up. In whatever arenas of influence and leadership they have, particularly over young men. We as leaders need to make that investment. Information can lead to transformation, especially when it involves drug prevention. Note of Encouragement and Leadership Application: 

Stan is able to deal with large scale devastation because of his commitment to Christ and ongoing connection to his local church. Your biggest leadership crisis as a man may be a financial bottom line or a market share. Just because your daily stress-points might not be life or death, does not diminish your need for constant connection to Jesus and His body in this world, the church. Be more committed and more connected.

Your First Step to Celebrate Recovery: How God Can Heal Your Life by John Baker, Introduction by Rick Warren The book is a great place to start. Learn more.

Celebrate Recovery is also a faith-based healing program rooted in Christ and committed to scripture. There are opportunities to engage Celebrate Recovery right in Williamson County. There are programs at:

Harpeth Christian. Learn more.Church of the City. Learn more.

Eric’s journey in life was full of a few more downs than ups. Although an absent father certainly left a hole in his family, Eric was blessed with a mom who knew Jesus and pointed him to salvation. She wasn’t without her own struggles, yet she wanted to ensure that he had a faith foundation. Trusting God’s redeeming work on the cross as payment for sin became a reality for him at an early age, but the idea of following Jesus and claiming Christ’s Lordship came much later. Without the presence of a dad, God brought other men into his life to mentor, invest and develop him into the man and Christ-follower that he is today.

Feeling called in college to pursue seminary and local church ministry, Eric’s heart was moved in multiple directions, but men’s ministry remained a constant. There are things that men’s groups can do and say that simply aren’t a part of other ministerial settings. There are things that men want and need from both Bible study and ministry that are delivered best in the context of a men’s ministry group. Leveraging sports and other interests of men for ministry has played an important part of his career in the church. What It Means: 

Eric defines spiritual leadership as, “doing everything we can to love according to the Word of God, and being transformed by Christ, in such a way that it spills out of our life and influences those around us.” The daily challenges men face through battling our own doubts, fears and temptations at work, in the community, in the context of family, are ultimately spiritual battles which require spiritual leadership. 

God can use men in any context He has them as “change-agents” for His glory in their families, companies, communities, and throughout the world. For Eric, ministry begins at home through pastoring and shepherding his own family. As an example, you can think of spiritual growth like the Dow: over the course of a week or a month, the fluctuations can be intense, but we gauge it over the long haul by asking if it is leaning up and to the right. That’s the goal. What We Do Next: 

Super practical: Got kids? Pray for a godly future spouse. That was an emotional high for Eric to share. God answered a 20-year prayer request in his life by providing a God-honoring daughter-in-law for his oldest son. 

Beyond that, God’s greatest commands are to love Him and love people. Lean hard into what it means to love the people around you. If that’s a friendship hat, wear it out. Pray for the people around you and find ways to use whatever leadership you have in those relationships. Whether it’s through leadership or coaching, balance the relational and vocational side of those encounters while also find ways to lead people to Jesus. 

In whatever you do, let people know Who to praise. Matthew 5:16 reads,

"In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.”

In all the good we do, let people know that it’s for, by and through God’s power. Let Him have all the credit.

 2 Spiritual Leadership Takeaways: 

1. Be a man of the Word and a man of prayer. You can’t be a spiritual or godly leader without a connection to God.
2. Grow up. Be tough. Speak up. Lead out. Don’t let fear hamstring your spiritual leadership. Part of spiritual leadership is showing up and stepping up. Don’t worry about being perfect, you never will be; just be ready and willing.MLN Resources: 

Kingdom Man: Every Man's Destiny, Every Woman's Dream by Tony Evans. In this book, men will be challenged to fully understand their position under God as well as their position over what God has given them. Equipped with these concepts, they can actively pursue ways to maximize and develop the character qualities of biblical manhood in their lives. Learn more.

Alex, like any of us, is a man with a past and a story: tragic occurrences, painful addiction, and even a childhood diagnosis. All this could have drawn Alex far from God, but through it all there was a sense that God was always in pursuit. Like many men, Alex needs to see things and figure things out for himself in his own time. Ultimately, what we heard was the story of a man who, by God’s power, overcame a great deal, and surrendered himself to Christ. Now, he leads his family, studies God’s word, makes church a priority, helps inmates with recovery and serves his community. 

Alex is a man who is not afraid to share his story, even bear the parts that are difficult and shameful. It’s  a chance to give God the glory and illustrate His power to save and redeem things that seem beyond hope. God continually pursued Alex through relationships with His people. God provided mentors, pastors, and even a persistent neighbor [MLN guest Peter Goodwin] to point Alex to salvation and ultimately his surrender. It was Peter that eventually helped Alex connect back to church and even follow through with believer’s baptism, a step of faith that had eluded Alex for years. 

 What we Do Next: 

Many times, MLN leans toward leadership lessons we can implement at home and in the workplace. These are certainly present here. However, this one leans towards a lifestyle of evangelism, sharing Christ with others. Alex’s story is a reminder that there are people everywhere who need us to faithfully, persistently, share Christ and invite to church, starting right next door. This should be a motivator for us to readily and willingly share Jesus without fear. Alex’s story also reminds us that there is always hope, and that it is a process. If any of us are starting 2018 in a place of pain, fear, or difficulty, Christ is the answer. 

 MLN Connections: 

To kick off the year, here are some resources provided by Rolling Hills Community Church that we would love to make available.

Counseling ServicesSalvation & Baptism Next Steps of FaithDiscipleship & Spiritual GrowthFinancial Peace & FreedomMarriage Support & Family Equipping

If you would like to pursue any of these options or if you need help with anything else please reach out and connect with Nic Allen, Discipleship Pastor. 

A waypoint is a stop along a journey. There are so many moments that, over the course of life, become waypoints. In real estate, buying and selling homes, relocating, expanding, downsizing, and others are all considerable waypoints that signal changes in our journey. Spiritually speaking, we have waypoints as well. Growing up Catholic, his infant baptism accompanied by the firsts [communion, confession, etc.] were waypoints for Matt but didn’t necessarily create a depth in his personal relationship with Christ. Matt and his wife, Kim first got involved at Rolling Hills by serving on the launch team for the Nolensville (formally South Nashville) Campus, near their home.Believer’s baptism became a way for Matt to realign his life and say to God, “I’m in this.” He was the first baptism celebrated at the South Nashville campus. According to Matt, he felt rebirth and personal transformation in that water and experienced another waypoint in his journey, with more to follow. Kim began to see the change, as Matt made the next step in his faith. Matt has two sons, and is setting a spiritual example in their lives.  Serving, leading and equipping are new waypoints in Matt’s spiritual journey.Shortly after Matt began taking significant spiritual steps, his older brother was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. Things progressed quickly, and as close as he was to his brother, religion wasn’t a subject they broached. Matt began praying over his brother and shared Christ with him. Matt credits God’s power through the prayers and support of his Community Group for strength during those final moments. “We can’t do it alone.”Switching gears: Kim has fulfilled the role of spiritual leader in the home for years. It was a deferred role. One of Matt’s spiritual growth transitions was to become the spiritual leader in his own family. Together, they know the value of creating and sustaining a healthy spiritual life in their family. Why? The reason is,

“We love our family. We owe it to our family. We need to set the example.” What It Means: 

Matt was put there to set the table for God to come into his brother’s life…just before he passed. A willingness to share Christ with others was unleashed. Many of us struggle to share Christ with anyone, but especially family. With the people we are closest to, we want to avoid a divide or a rift in these significant relationships. There is a greater weight to the fear of rejection with family. In terms of readiness, part of sharing our faith is keeping our eyes open and paying attention to the doors God opens. Even in social media, as Matt reconnects with friends from the past, he’s noticing opportunities to a take risk and seize spiritual conversations. Matt sums up his own legacy, desiring to be remembered as a spiritual leader and man who loved God and others, but also as someone who wasn’t always those things. Why? Because he is proof that a man can change. God can change us. He desires his legacy to paint a picture of what it looks like for God to change a man. It can happen for us too. What We Do Next: 

Start by examining our own relationships and determine ways we can start spiritual conversations and share Christ with others. Examine your own support group. Matt’s interview was an infomercial for the value of Community Groups. If you’re looking to be part of a group, contact Groups Minister, Laura Chapman. January will be here before we know it and is a great entry point into a group. It’s a growth engine. It’s a support system. It’s exactly what it’s supposed to be…community.

 MLN Resources 

The greatest story we could ever share is Christ’s story. It’s why we call it the “good news.” Here’s a book to help us do that more readily and effectively. "Sharing Jesus Without Freaking Out" by Alvin Reid. Learn more.

Men love movies. While working at Lifeway leading men’s ministries, Jason began partnering with the director of Lifeway film. Branching out and launching Engage was an opportunity to connect with churches, tell stories, and support faith-based films. Most recently, Jason was able to participate as an executive producer for “The Price of Fame,” based on the life of Ted Dibiase [WWF Million Dollar Man]. Dibiase became the “million dollar man” in his personal life too, recklessly living on the edge and nearly losing his family. “Once Ted was anchored in a relationship with Christ, Ted began a ministry of preaching.” His is a story of redemption worth telling because it connects with our human proclivity to sin and our ultimate need for a savior.

“Joseph would not have had the palace without the prison or the pit.” Our greatest challenge as men is to say to God in every story [especially our darkest parts], “Father, you’ve got this,” and then to trust that God’s plan is good and that it will come to fruition. What It Means: 

No matter what, God has called me to do [ministry or business], God has given us a primary responsibility as husbands and fathers to pour into family and direct the lives of our kids to Christ. Regardless of his connection to the film industry, Jason knows the value of prioritizing his role as faith-leader in the home. That said, his ministry footprint is helping great faith-based films go farther, thereby impacting more lives. Media is a double edged sword. It can be a powerful tool or a dangerous weapon. Garbage in; garbage out. For us as men, it matters what we feed ourselves. With the onslaught of damaging media overwhelming our lives, it’s important for Jason and others in his industry to see more positive, Christ-honoring stories made available. What We Do Next: 

Films are an opportunity to take the message of hope to places where people aren’t being engaged and reached. As men, we can leverage the effectiveness of faith-based films by seeing the movies and inviting others in our lives to tag along. A post-movie conversation about a film’s content might be the open door to a gospel presentation. Paul called us to use any means available to share the truth of Jesus. Men like movies. Why not leverage such a powerful medium to share the most powerful story?

Today at MLN, our special guest was Dan Alexander. Dan is a former Tennessee Titan fullback and linebacker. He was drafted by the Tennessee Titans in the sixth round of the 2001 NFL Draft. Before that he played college football at Nebraska. While there, he rushed for 2,456 yards and scored 20 touchdowns in 38 career games. Alexander also played for the Jacksonville Jaguars, St. Louis Rams.

As a pastor’s kid, Dan was raised in a solid Christian home. He recalls the huge impact it made on his life when his father started an underground church in Saudi Arabia where he and his family attended. His mother was also very Christ centered and a strong influence on Dan’s formative years. He remembers his mother teaching him “don’t be defined by the color of your skin but instead by Christ that’s in your heart.” What It Means: 

Introspectively, looking on his life and career Dan says- people can call you ‘a man’, you can ‘be treated like ‘a man’, you can dress in a nice suit like ‘a man’ but… The suit doesn’t make a man. What’s inside the heart makes the man.

When asked “what lessons from playing football can you pass along?” Dan responds, “life can be broken into 4 quarters- you have to play the WHOLE game.” Don’t check out for a quarter or go into auto-pilot  during the game- play every quarter to win. He also said that football taught him loyalty. Football (and life) is a team sport. Just because an individual has an exceptional season doesn’t mean the team wins. What We Do Next: 

As leaders Dan says we must:– Study God’s Word– Have a mentor– Be a mentor– And remember…what we invest our time in, is what means the most to us.

Where are we investing our time? Who are we investing in?

If there was a clear theme in this MLN interview, it was the difference between faith-based and fear-based decision making. In order to operate in life [work, family, leadership, ministry, etc.] from a place of faith and not fear, it takes a few core essentials. Jason identified those as prayer, scripture [Word], and community.

Growing up, Jason excelled in basketball. He had a passion for the game and a skill set that allowed him the opportunity to play for Vanderbilt University. His support system at home wasn’t limited to family or team mates but included a local church.

Sports commitments and church consistency can be at odds sometimes and that conflict left a thick-skinned impression in Jason’s life, one that would both heal and leave a powerful leadership investment in the man he would become. On the court, passion and practice translated into a career built on principles of consistency. What It Means: 

This particular MLN interview was laced with [Tweetable] nuggets that we can easily apply to whatever arena of life our leadership needs the most growth.

1. If we can live our lives by one principle, perhaps “Make Others Better” would be a good one. The heartbeat of MLN is to make us better leaders who ultimately make others better men and better leaders.
2. Prayer. Word. Community. Enough said, right? Actually, there is more. A tip for the guy burdened by the thought of leading grand prayers at home each night: keep it simple. Identify one thing, one person, one need to pray for and lead well through that.
3. Regarding the Word, it’s food for us. You may not always remember what you ate three weeks ago, but if you’re here and healthy…you know that you ate.
4. We can never be so arrogant to assume we know our kids better than God. He made them. We can never think we know what is best for them.
5. Life will be full of disappointments. An identity in anything other than Christ will cause you to crumble under the weight of failure. In Christ, we can have confidence.

Leadership nuggets like these are lessons to live by and apply to life. Identify one and focus on it this week. Then gravitate toward another and build healthy habits into your life one by one. What We Do Next: 

Eric Liddell (played by Ian Charlson) in Chariots of Fire famously said, “God made me fast. And when I run, I feel His pleasure.” To a degree, that’s what Jason felt as a high school kid shooting all hours of the day. A passion for practice didn’t just hone his skills and take him to the Sweet 16. A passion for practice gave him a daily opportunity to praise and worship God. That’s where the difference between what we’re good at and what God made us for meet. When we see our gifts, passions, experiences, and even opportunities through the lense of God’s purpose and an identity in Christ, that’s worship. And worship makes us better men and better leaders. MLN Resources: 

Many books have been penned about the life of Eric Liddell. This one was written by Liddell himself. The Disciplines of the Christian Life is an outline for Liddell’s pattern of discipleship. At its foundation is a daily Bible reading plan. Learn more.

Peter Goodwin, founder of Groove Life Rings, is no stranger to the outdoors. Born in Alaska, Peter experienced outdoor adventure that every man dreams of. After a season of school at Auburn University, at age 19, he moved to Alaska full-time and shortly after became a bush guide and bush pilot. 

Through his experience as a bush guide, God was refining and redefining his life. Often his experiences lead him to some dangerous and uncertain situations deep in the Alaskan bush. These experiences shaped the way he currently lives his life and leads his family. When you are in the bush, he said, “you truly come to the reality that you are not in control.” God made it clear to Peter that ultimately he was not in control. At that point his purpose behind his career changed. Peter began to use being a bush guide as a way to point people to Christ. God took Peter and changed his purpose for outdoor adventure to lead people to an understanding of God’s purpose for their life. 

Before Peter came to a greater understanding of his faith. He would be looking for identity in what he did, but God continued to shift his thoughts to pursue and identity in Christ alone. This shaped not only his career, but would eventually have a direct impact on his marriage and children. He went on to say that when you pursue Christ and making decisions in light of who he is, then our marriage becomes less about our wife following us. Instead, they are following Christ through us. This concept is the same when we lead our kids. 

Peter spoke about two things that are challenges for men: fear and complacency. Fear often times keep us from chasing after the things that God has for us. Fear of failure. Fear of regret. Fear of uncertainty. And complacency stops us from pursing God’s best for our lives. 

When we choose to submit to the leadership of Christ, fear and complacency have no place. “Surrender” is a key word when it comes to our faith. When we surrender we acknowledge that the only thing we can control is our relationship with Christ, he controls the rest. What It Means: 

What a challenge for men to pursue an identity with Christ. Unfortunately, we live in a culture, within a day and age that defines us by what we do instead of who we are. Of course this is easier said than done. 

The big question here is, who are you following? Everyone follows someone or something. You may be a leader, but who is leading you? We all have people in our lives wondering the same thing. Who we are following determines what type of leader we will be.  What We Do Next: 

Press in. Look at your schedule and make a priority out of spending time with God. Not only that, continue to have an ongoing conversation with the Lord throughout your day.  The moment you sense fear or complacency establish itself in your life, pause and ask the Lord to shake it up. 

God has asked us to lead our homes, church, and work. This is an incredible responsibility and a great barometer for evaluating where we are and where we would like to go in our leadership are two questions that Peter reminded us of. 1) Am I living a self-centered life? or 2) Is Christ then center of my life?

We do have a choice of what things we pursue. As men, let’s make every effort to pursue the only thing that can change not only our life, but the lives that we come in contact with. Jesus.

Scott Lehman is a guy God is using. Marrying his love and devotion to Jesus with his passion for sports, particularly golf, into a ministry called “In His Grip.” Using invitational golf tournaments and training, In His Grip equips churches to reach men in the community with the gospel message of Jesus Christ. Statistically, reaching kids and women first will only get you so far. Reaching husbands and fathers first yields a 93% return rate in reaching the entire family. Targeting men with the saving truth of Jesus Christ dying in our place to offer us forgiveness and purpose in life is transformative for them as well as the families they lead and the spheres of influence they are engaged. 

Scott’s own dad left him a powerful legacy of hope-filled encouragement. Hearing words like, “Son, I forgive you,” after a window-breaking childhood mishap powerfully resonate with Scott to this day. “In life, you will hit bad shots, but never stop swinging.” Any golfer man can connect to this metaphor of never giving up as we navigate life.

Men, we’re called to set the spiritual thermostat of faith in our homes. If our overall temperature is cold or luke-warm at best, that will be our family’s too. If we want families on fire for the gospel of Jesus, we have to burn hot for Christ. What It Means: 

To be “In His Grip” is to recognize God’s seat of priority in your life. It’s to adopt His divine plan not only for your forgiveness and salvation but also your purpose in everyday relationships and choices. To remain fully connected to Christ, always rooted “in His grip,” we must be committed to God’s word. Scott does this with an acronym for (you guessed it…GOLF). He “tees” up everyday by setting a daily time to read scripture and protecting it from interruption. For Scott, he and the men he mentors read a chapter of Proverbs daily following this outline.

G – God’s word [read a passage and identify one verse that really stands out above the rest]

O – observation [what does the verse really say…what is the message God wants me to hear?]

L – life application [how does it apply…what does it mean for me to live in light of this word?]

F – finish with prayer [centering yourself on the truth and committing that verse to heart and mind]

Men are inundated with so many messages from the world about what matters. It’s important to remember that climbing the ladder is great unless you reach the top and realize it was leaning against the wrong building. Our greatest success will be our biggest failure if it’s not done for and built on God’s word and Christ’s kingdom. What We Do Next: 

Many men feel isolated and alone. Thinking along these lines is a fallacy. “I am all alone. I am the only one dealing with this issue, struggling with this sin, failing this problem.” These are the words of our enemy who wants to single us out for an easier target. Surrounded by other men mentoring us and investing in us offers strength. Our lives truly come to life when someone is pouring into us and we are pouring into others. Find a mentor and be a mentor.  It does start at home and by considering what we want our legacies to be. Scott recommends the “rocking chair” test. At 90 years old with your memory and wit still strong, what will you regret when you look back over the landscape of your life? Whatever the answer, direct your focus on that today so you don’t have to mourn the missed opportunity or misplaced priority later in life. With Christ as your focus, there won’t be regrets.

Dr. Brad Dennis, Assistant Professor of Surgery at Vanderbilt University Medical Center, has dedicated his career to educating other medical professionals and the non-medical public. He is passionate about teaching skills in an effort to limit the tragedy of preventable death due to trauma. Brad is also passionate about preparing families for when tragedy occurs and gave us incredibly practical and spiritual principles in order to do that.

1. Get your house in order. It is important that you think through the long term effect that a traumatic event would have on your family not only emotionally, but financially. Questions to consider: Do you have life insurance? Do you and your wife have your Will’s written? Are you covered with disability insurance?
2. Project calm. The importance of a calming presence cannot be overstated. As leaders in our homes, we are looked to for stability, our reaction or overreaction has a profound impact on the hours, weeks, even years after those events take place.
3. Get your heart in order. The number one way to prepare for a tragedy is to prepare our hearts. The best way to prepare our hearts is to prioritise your relationship with Christ. Families who approach tragedy through the lens of faith approach death, dying, healing, and letting go very different because of the eternal perspective on life.
4. Build Community. We need a community of people to surround us when tragedy impacts our family. A group of people to listen, meet our needs, offer words of wisdom, and simply be present.

What It Means:

In a broken world, tragedy will hit every family at some point in time. Knowing this truth, it becomes urgent in our preparation as men to lead well through those circumstances. Of course, we are uncertain of the timing of these events, but as leaders, we have to be proactive in our effort to make Christ our priority. We read in Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight,” the question for us becomes, how can we make this a reality even when life punches us in the gut?What We Do Next:

Be intentional and proactive. Knowing this information we cannot delay in prioritising our family around our faith in Christ and preparing our family financially and with legal documents in order. The goal is not to stressed out, worried, or paralysed with anxiety, but to simply to prepare.

The call to be a dad is a hard but incredibly important calling that will have a lasting impact on your family for generations to come.Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. Deutoronomy 6:4-9We have been called to daily impress the word of God on our kid’s hearts and to raise them to be Godly young men and women.  This does not happen by accident but by being very intentional in how we parent.  There are a lot of things in life that we can outsource, schooling, sports, lessons, but faith cannot be something we outsource. The church’s role is not to be the primary spiritual leaders in their life.  The churches role is to come alongside dads and help them to be the primary spiritual leader in the home.

What It Means:

There are many challenges families will be faced with. Here are a few of the most common challenges parents face.

Challenge #1: ScheduleWe live in a culture where we are constantly on the go, and with all we have going on plus our kids’ extracurricular activities, it is very easy to get our priorities out of order.  Church and our own spiritual walk tend to be the first activities cut from our schedules.  When we put our priorities in the wrong order we can expect that our kids will too.

Parenting has never been easy but Life seems to have become more complex. We have more choices than ever before, and more choices cause more anxiety.  Now more than ever we need to practice self-control in our families so that we can keep our priorities straight.

Challenge #2: Social Media Social media itself isn’t bad but it does require boundaries.  Dads need to be very engaged and aware of what their kids are doing on social media.  When dads watch what their kids are doing it sends a signal that what they are doing matters.

Challenge #3: SexMore than 40% of dads don’t have these conversations until after a child has been sexually active.  Most young boys see their first pornographic image by age 8.  Our kids will hear and learn about sex from friends at school, tv, movies etc…As dads and spiritual leaders, we should be talking about this topic early and often.  Our kids will be bombarded by this topic from our culture, this is why it is so important to not just have “The talk”  but multiple “talks”  We should start early impressing a biblical worldview on their life. Our kids need to understand that God’s word is authoritative.

What We Do Next:

Be the example. You can’t be a spiritual leader if you are not a Spirit follower.  Just as Paul said in 1 Corinthians 1:11, Follow my example, as I follow the example of Christ.

Be intentional. It takes hard work and energy. Plan out time to have spiritual conversations with your kids every day.

Be engaged. Just like we learned from Deuteronomy 6. We need to be teaching our children about Jesus during all aspects of our life. Your Presence matters.Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.Deuteronomy 6:7-9

After the death of his father at a young age, Pat was blessed by the entrance of other men including a baseball coach/scout master who invested in his life. While serving in the Air Force, Pat was put in contact with an insurance sales manager to help his own long-term planning. That manager inquired about Pat’s post Air Force plans and the rest was history. His own father’s strategic planning before passing protected and provided for Pat, his mom, and siblings. His career has involved helping others to that degree.

Pat declares that financial literacy is crucial. Understanding numbers isn’t the same as knowing how to plan, save, and live responsibly with money. We can never be prepared for a death in our family, but we can be prepared for what happens after. When you help someone prepare and protect financially, you help the entire family.

What It Means:

The biggest challenge men face concerning money is [not surprisingly] pride. As in so many other areas of life, men need accountability. Without financial accountability, men make mistakes. Stewardship doesn’t happen solo. For believers, biblical wisdom governs our views of money. Our resources come from God, so stewarding those resources must be accountable to God’s word and the godly people He places in our lives to help us walk wisely. For married couples, financial accountability starts at home and both spouses should strive to live on the same page.

What We Do Next:

Ask yourself the “why” questions about money before you begin with the “what” questions. Is it financial freedom? Is it the flexibility to follow a dream? Protect a family? Honor the Lord? Or more dangerously…achieve greater wealth for material achievement. If there is something getting in the way of living life according to God’s purpose regarding finance [or any area of life] eliminate it. From a godly vantage point and even basic financial principle, people must out-earn their spending.  That doesn’t start with budgets and systems but submitting to God.

Rodney Wilson, Pastoral Counselor at LifePoint Church in Smyrna, TN, reminds us that marriage takes work! There WILL be conflict. It’s not a question of ‘if’ it will happen but instead ‘how’ will we respond when it does happen.

Married couples will face issues on many fronts. Some will seem very small and others will appear unresolvable. Are we prepared for the conflict? Rodney, who celebrates 40 years of marriage, gives several great insights to help us prepare for various conflicts we’ll face in marriage.

The goal is ‘civil disagreement’, learning to be civil with one another as we walk through conflict resolution. One of the biggest battles we will face in reaching this goal will be our internal battle with an “I attitude”. We should always strive to take our eyes off of ourselves. It’s important to remember that “what we feed grows and what we starve dies” so we should starve selfishness, anger, lust, pride and other ungodly things.

Rodney points out that men tend to have a fight or flight mentality when dealing with conflict resolution .It’s important for us to learn how to fight and how to step away from the conflict to create space to breathe and hopefully avoid responding out of emotion. Get the anger out of the conflict. Yelling to get your point across is NOT more clearly communicated or understood by your spouse, it’s only louder. This is also true for resolving conflict with children- get anger out of the conflict. Train them in the way they should go not in the way they want to go.

What It Means 

It will take energy, it can be hard work, but we must be intentional in preparing for conflict. There is so much at stake. How we invest today in our marriage will show up tomorrow, so we must invest wisely.

What We Do Next: 

Communicate, communicate, communicate! Speak honestly with your mate about whatever issue you’re facing and then allow space, a time to process. As conflicts arise, we should always be willing to say to our spouse, “I need your help with this”. This nurtures a feeling that you’re working together on the problem. Our leadership sets the tone for our homes so we should strive to be servant leaders, thinking of the other as more important.

Final Takeaways: 

We grow together as we walk together through conflict. How we resolve the ‘little’ conflicts will inform how we resolve the bigger conflicts.

This morning, Chris Lucorto encouraged us at MLN to never seek to find our value or worth in the things of this world, because the things of the world will always fall short. God desires each of us to find our meaning and purpose in knowing Him. When we are able to do that, we then see all the compartments of our lives as opportunities to please God.

As men, we desire to work hard and make a difference through our careers, but our work is not the totality of who we are! Our work is an opportunity to fulfill our calling. Sometimes, when we think about fulfilling our calling, we are afraid to step out and take risk and do what God has called us to do because we are afraid of failing.

Each time we allow those fears to win-out in our lives, we are saying that God does not have our best interest in mind and we are seeking to find our worth from things we can control or manage, opposed to trusting that God is always at work in and through us.

The true test and measure of a follower of Christ is not in the things he does, but the love he shows to all of those around him. May the desire of our hearts be, all the days we live, to get our worth from God and to help others along in the same journey!

What It Means:

In leading by example, what you don’t say might matter as much as what you do say. People see our actions and reactions. Coaching is about giving people choices along the way. The stakes are high. In coaching, it may be about keeping your job. In eternity, it’s about making spiritual impacts in the places God puts us. God has given us each different skills. Leadership varies as does discipleship. Leveraging who you are is the way to go.

What We Do Next:

Every man is in a leadership position even if he’s not the head of a company or head coach of a team. Leadership develops as you observe and absorb the leadership lessons of others. Pay attention to the styles and strategies of leaders around you. Do they get the results they desire? Do they create environments where followers thrive? If yes, employ those lessons. If no, learn to avoid the pitfalls. What we do impacts others. Focusing on Christ in daily life directs that impact well.

Key Illustration:

Psalm 46:10 “Be still and know that I am God.” There are moments in life when you have absolutely no control. For Drew, it came on an operating table. Even being raised in a Christian family, owning his faith came as a defining moment when trusting God was the only option.

What It Means:

For Derek specifically, as a single dad, he is naturally involved in things that his married dad of daughter friends may not be. Girls’s clothes, girl’s hair, and even girl’s adolescent products. Married dads and joint custody dads of daughters would do well not to default all the “girl” stuff to mom but to intentionally be involved. Creating balance is a challenge for anyone and everyone in every circumstance. Balancing career and kids can be a conflict. For Derek, key words are focus and preparation. In the office: be prepared, focus, and work hard. In parenting: be prepared to focus and work hard. An additional key to being a great dad is discovery. Find things you can do with them that they enjoy doing with you. Giving your best at work and left overs at home isn’t a Christ-centered option. Intentionality is the opposite of accidental. It doesn’t come naturally. If you want to be an intentional parent…you have to make the effort to be intentional.

What We Do Next:

• Let values dictate priorities. In terms of family, that may mean missing a career opportunity to protect time with kids and fulfill responsibilities at home.
• Idea: Have a just for fun party. Plan it with your kids start to finish and let them host a gathering just for fun. If it’s not a party, do something outside of the obligatory that’s just extra effort. Married dads, lead out in these. Don’t let all the fun, creative, activities in the family be mom’s job. At one point, you pursued your wife. Pursue your kids. You are called to lead in your home. That isn’t limited to just the big leadership decisions. Even daily schedules, activities, and ideas can benefit from your intentional leadership.
• Create blessings. Derek does lunchbox notes with words and drawings. Just extra blessings for the kids to enjoy. Those blessings create life-long deposits in the love-banks of your kids.
• Make milestones matter in your home. Turning 13 or 16 or 18 are important. Be a dad who celebrates big decisions like salvation and baptism.
• Consider the values and characteristics you want to be present in your kids when they are older and leave home. Write down this vision. These are the legacy you desire to leave and the intentional deposits you must make along the way. Plan, calendar, and strategize for these specific investments.

What It Means: Make every moment matter. Showing your spouse you care doesn’t always mean making the most romantic grand gesture. Simply taking time out of your day to think about what she would enjoy and making an effort to make that happen will have a lasting impact on your relationship. Whether it’s cleaning out her car or picking up her favorite flavor of ice cream on your way home, you can show her you are thinking of her and invested in your relationship with the intentional “little things” in life. 

What We Do Next: Consider your wife’s love language. When does she feel special and what makes her feel loved? Is it words of affirmation, physical touch, quality time, acts of service or giving gifts? Once you understand how she receives love, you will better understand how to show her you care. 

Choose to be present in the moments you make for your spouse. Put the phone away, turn off the TV and make time to learn about her and invest in your marriage together. Life is layered and true emotional intimacy comes when we share all the layers of life together.

• Get a group of men to invest in and to have invest in you.
• Develop a mission statement. You can’t lead when you don’t know where you are going.
• Take a next step. Today. Do what’s necessary today to make a move toward where you want to be.