Life in the Grey

Shouldn’t I be past this? Healing evolves, not erases

Mums At The Table — Fri, 01 May 2026 06:00:00 +1000

Have you ever walked away from a conversation thinking, I should have said something . . . or maybe, I’m glad I didn’t? In this episode, we sit in that uncomfortable in-between and ask ourselves: When is it wise to speak up and advocate for our rights, and when is it actually okay to step back and “escape”?

We’re unpacking our own wrestles with assertiveness, people-pleasing, self-protection and pride. This is one of those nuanced, no-easy-answer conversations. Just two of us thinking out loud about power, safety, timing and what the wiser move might look like in the grey.

Related links:

The episode when Faith talks about highways and off-ramps.

✨ Ready to be a little kinder to yourself? Download our free 5-day self-compassion challenge—with daily prompts, gentle exercises and tools to help you stop the spiral of self-criticism and start speaking to yourself like a friend.

Should I speak up? Choosing the wiser move

Mums At The Table — Wed, 01 Apr 2026 06:00:00 +1100

Big feelings again? Let’s not rush to “regulate"

Mums At The Table — Sun, 01 Mar 2026 06:00:00 +1100

Ever found yourself naming your child’s (or partner’s, or your own) big feelings and then thinking, “Okay, so why aren’t we calm yet?” Nope, it's not just you. In this episode, we chat about why “self-regulation” has started to feel like a pressure-filled performance metric, rather than the compassionate tool it’s meant to be. How do we sit with the discomfort? When should we question our timelines for “getting over it”? This is what it looks like in real life: Messy, human and very much still a work in progress. Join us in the grey.

Related links:

Article: "Emotional regulation isn’t about staying calm. It’s about this"

Should we be nervous? The comments are in

Mums At The Table — Sun, 01 Feb 2026 07:00:00 +1100

We did the thing you’re never quite sure you’re ready for—we read the comments. The thoughtful ones, the confusing ones, the ones that made us pause, nod or quietly rethink things. If you’ve ever hesitated before opening a comment thread, or wondered what happens on the other side of the mic, come sit with us.

Notes/additional info:

At 3:07, the individual Melody is referring to is Roxane Gay, not Rosamund Gay.

Related links:

Episode 010: "Who's helping who? When support feels like an accusation"
Episode 001: "Are you a failure? When proven methods don't work for you"
Episode 002: "Are you judging me? Or is it my trauma?"
Episode 004: "Is my body wrong? Unlearning the lies about our bodies"
Episode 009: "Is it me? Rewiring relationships without gaslighting myself"
Article "Four guiding questions for discerning what's yours to carry—and what you need to lovingly set down"

What’s shifted? Reflecting on past episodes

Mums At The Table — Thu, 01 Jan 2026 05:59:00 +1100

In this episode, we’re looking back at the moments from past conversations that stuck with us. The ones that shifted something inside us weeks or even months later. As we celebrate a whole year of Life in the Grey (what?!), we’re revisiting the episode that changed the way we see relationships and unpacking why some dynamics feel so complicated once we’re a little older, wiser and more healed.

Related links:

Episode 009: “Is it me? Rewiring relationships without gaslighting myself”
Episode 001: “Are you a failure? When proven methods don't work for you”

Am I a bad person? Feeling annoyed at those you love

Mums At The Table — Mon, 01 Dec 2025 06:00:00 +1100

Ever feel guilty for getting annoyed at the people you love most? You’re not alone. In this episode of Life in the Grey, we explore that tricky space where love and irritation collide. From fleeting frustrations with your partner, child or friend to the guilt that sneaks in afterward, we talk through why these feelings happen, what they really mean and why having them doesn’t make you a “bad person.”

Related links:

Article: “What to do when my child is out-of-control” (about emotional regulation)

Who's helping who? When support feels like an accusation

Mums At The Table — Sat, 01 Nov 2025 07:00:00 +1100

Ever had someone’s well-meaning advice leave you feeling more judged than helped? Or maybe you’ve been on the other side—tried to help someone and ended up feeling like your “support” wasn’t received the way you meant it? In this episode of Life in the Grey, we explore something we call “presumptuous care”, when help comes with assumptions, expectations or even unintended guilt.

Related links:

Article: “The quiet power of helping less”

Is it me? Rewiring relationships without gaslighting myself

Mums At The Table — Wed, 01 Oct 2025 06:00:00 +1000

This isn’t a “how-to” episode. It’s more of a “come sit with us while we wrestle” kind of conversation, even with a phrase as cringe as, “It’s not you, it’s me”. We talk about friendships that both give life and drive us up the wall, kids who push every button and the uncomfortable truth that sometimes the problem isn’t them—it’s us. But not in the shame-filled, “I’m the worst” kind of way. More in the, “Wait . . . maybe my expectations are the real trigger here” kind of way. If you’ve ever asked yourself whether your reaction says more about your past than the person in front of you, you’ll feel right at home in this one.

Related links:

Article "Four guiding questions for discerning what's yours to carry—and what you need to lovingly set down"

Do I have to? Stop telling me what to do

Mums At The Table — Mon, 01 Sep 2025 06:00:00 +1000

Ever felt cornered by someone’s absolute certainty—about parenting, health or even quinoa—and found yourself scrambling to defend your every thought? In this episode of Life in the Grey, we unpack the magic of two little words: “It depends.” Not as a cop-out, but as a way to hold space for nuance, curiosity and compassion—without caving to the pressure to agree or advise—saving you from quinoa-induced stomach cramps.

Related links:

Article "Parenting without the guilt"
Article "4 simple ways to manage screen time for kids"

I'm sorry? Taking blame that was never yours

Mums At The Table — Fri, 01 Aug 2025 06:00:00 +1000

In this episode of Life in the Grey, we dive into the messy and uncomfortable relatable territory of apologies, blame and that sneaky little voice that tells us everything is somehow our fault. From saying sorry to our kids (even when our ego protests), to navigating guilt, expectations and the fine line between accountability and over-apologising—we’re talking about all of it.

Is saying sorry always the right thing? What if you don’t agree with the other person’s version of events? And how do you know if you’re standing in integrity or just gaslighting yourself?

Related links:

Article "Why we should say sorry to our kids"
ABC News article “Why women say sorry too much and what to say—and do—instead”

Why is everyone a narcissist but me?

Mums At The Table — Tue, 01 Jul 2025 06:00:00 +1000

You know how everyone’s a psychologist these days? Throwing around words like “narcissist” or “trauma” like they’re personality types on a BuzzFeed quiz? In this episode, we chat about what happens when labels get tossed around too quickly—especially the big ones. Where’s the line between naming something helpful and just slapping on a diagnosis that doesn’t fit? And what does it mean for our relationships when we get it wrong?

Related links:

Article: “Is your child a bully? Here’s what to do”

Is this who I am? Escaping the boxes we’re put in

Mums At The Table — Sun, 01 Jun 2025 00:00:00 +1000

Have you ever been labelled something—like “not a morning person”—and then felt like people stopped seeing anything else about you? In this episode, Melody vents about a friend who just won’t let go of the “night owl” label, even though she’s up at 6am most day. And Faith shares the time a doctor didn’t believe she could be struggling with mental health . . . because she had make-up on. Together, we explore how labels and stereotypes—even the ones that seem harmless—can box us in, shape expectations, and sometimes stop us (or others) from seeing our full potential. But are labels always bad? Can they sometimes help us access the support we need? We talk about the grey space between helpful and harmful, the danger of self-fulfilling prophecies, and how adopting a growth mindset can change the narrative.

Related links:

Article: "The hidden danger in saying 'He’s just shy'"
ABC news article “Giving people with mental health issues a diagnostic label could do more harm than good”

✨ Ready to be a little kinder to yourself? Download our free 5-day self-compassion challenge—with daily prompts, gentle exercises and tools to help you stop the spiral of self-criticism and start speaking to yourself like a friend.

Is my body wrong? Unlearning the lies about our bodies

Mums At The Table — Thu, 01 May 2025 00:00:00 +1000

From the flawed origins of BMI to the deeply ingrained narratives that tell us our bodies need to be “fixed”, we unpack the emotional weight of these beliefs and what it takes to unlearn them. In this episode of Life in the Grey, we dive into the unspoken rules and expectations around body image, health and self-worth. Tune in as we explore what it really means to love and appreciate our bodies—just as they are.

Notes/additional info:

At 12:11: A technical issued caused a change in our audio quality. Sadly, we were unable to fix it post-recording. Sorry!

Related links:

ABC news article “The really old, racist and non-medical origins of the BMI”
Faith's story: “I used to hate my body—here’s what changed”
Some “Health at every size” content influencers:

Should I feel guilty? How calling food bad or unhealthy hurts us

Mums At The Table — Tue, 01 Apr 2025 00:00:00 +1100

Is food really “good” or “bad”? In this episode of Life in the Grey, we unpack the hidden power of language in shaping our eating habits, self-perception and even how we talk to our kids. We explore how labels influence our choices, the origins of food guilt, and why shifting toward a more balanced perspective matters. Join us as we challenge old mindsets, question the power of words and try to live in the grey.

Related links:

Article and more information on moralising food labels

Are you judging me? Or is it my trauma?

Mums At The Table — Sat, 01 Mar 2025 00:00:00 +1100

From childhood memories of scrutiny to caring what others think in our adulthood, we explore the lasting impacts of judgement on our lives and relationships. How does the feeling of being judged shape our present-day reactions? How do we hold space for the grey areas where assumptions meet reality?

Notes/additional info:

At 6:20 Melody actually means "if they can't see you, you can't see them" and not the other way around as recorded.
7:24: When theory of mind develops, children start understanding people have different opinions and different points of view, and will judge them based on that.
7:33: Theory of mind is not a bad thing as it also helps children develop empathy and compassion for others.

Related links:

Are you a failure? When proven methods don’t work for you

Mums At The Table — Sat, 01 Feb 2025 00:00:00 +1100

Why do good, practical advice miss the mark in life's messy realities? We dive into the complexities of technical solutions versus relationship challenges, and explore the power of pausing, practising self-compassion, and embracing the grey areas of life and relationships.

Related links:

Parenting in the grey: Why it’s okay when expert advice don’t work