In today’s episode we’re going to break down the latest gaming news from the last couple weeks from Nintendo, Playstation, and Xbox. Our Nintendo section will have a fun new sponsor from HGTV’s upcoming totally real and definitely not fake show Animal Crossing Happy Home Hunter! We’ve also heard rumblings about a new acquisition blob monster species in town by the name of Sony! Find out who they ate later in the show, you might be surprised. 

Rowdy : OOOH OOOH! We should give them a clue like if Sony were pushed off a bridge and survived because someone tied a BUNGIE cord around their ankle when they weren’t looking…

Travis : Shhhh, don’t give them good clues. We have to make sure they listen past the first part of the show. It’s like clickbait or a Kotaku headline but we’ll actually tell them later instead of scamming them.

Rowdy : Oh yeah, good point. 

Travis : Towards the end of the news roundup we’re going to make a cup of angry coffee to get ready for discussing the microtransaction hellscape we are now turning this world in to. If you haven’t heard about the latest Diablo Immortals and BMW news then buckle up sunshine because it’s going to be a bumpy, extremely overpriced ride!  

Rowdy : BMW, I thought we were a gaming podcast? 

Travis : Yeah well I thought cars couldn’t have Microtransactions or subscriptions for software based services but I was wrong!

Rowdy : After we get all angsty I will be declaring that I am no longer a console peasant and have joined the glorious PC Royalty because I bought a Steam Deck! I’ll give my impressions of the Switch-like Pc known as the Gabe Newell box that our Lord and Savior Gabe Newell has delivered to us. ALL BLESS THE STEAM DECK! 

Travis : Does everyone have to recite their love for the Steam Deck and pledge to Gabe Newell of Steam when they buy one of these? 

Rowdy: Yes. Yes they do….peasant. 

Travis : You are starting to sound like Lord Kromdore The God King of Gaming PCs. I don’t like it…

We’ll end the show with a special BONUS POINTS where we asked a bunch of Lamers on Twitter and Discord : “The Real World is Now A Game – What DLC or Microtransactions does or should it have?”

All this and more on the Lamer Gamers Podcast

Travis : Rowdy, cue the music! 

 
 Our sponsor this week (ok…so we normally do joke commercials but we do have a real one this week…) is the Portage Park Development Project - a thriving community in the Upland metaverse.

If you are from Chicago, Portage Park might sound familiar. That's because the Upland metaverse is based on real world cities and properties, and Portage Park is an actual neighbourhood in Chicago.

The metaverse version of Portage Park is the most developed neighbourhood in Upland with over 700 supportive members and property owners, enjoying competitions, community initiatives and local shops with monthly town hall meetings to connect with fellow Uplanders.

And now Racing is coming to Upland! Portage Park are developing a racing team ready to fight for the top step of the podium. We have a training academy for drivers and race tracks in development making the most of our shops and local attractions. We want to show the best Portage Park has to offer.

Come join us!

Discord - https://discord.gg/portagepark

Website - http://portagepark.me

Twitter - https://twitter.com/PortageParkDP

Shops:

Parkview Memorabilia - https://play.upland.me/nft-shop/nflpa-shop/48/48…

Tarrins - https://play.upland.me/nft-shop/nflpa-shop/49/49…

BE Academy - https://play.upland.me/nft-shop/block-explorer-shop/65/65…

Track Maps:

GP Circuit - https://felt.com/map/Portage-Park-Chicago-GP-Circuit-Upland-lCCMGS5FR76ZXlHipazaXD…

1/4 Mile Drag - https://felt.com/map/Portage-Park-Chicago-1-4-Mile-Upland-v2lQxHNbS6Sk19CbnjKXxnC

We’re back for episode 2 of the 4th season! It’s uhhh…it’s been a while. We were just really busy and not on a super secret mission to save the world by…

Rowdy: Dude..we can’t talk about that…they’ll hear us….they…they are listening.

Travis: Oh..oh yeah…you mean we can’t talk about that covert operation where you managed to take on the world e…

Rowdy: What Travis is trying to say is we’ve had a really insane year getting back from pandemic life and haven’t had time to get an episode…

Travis : IT’S IN THE WATER…STOP TRYING TO KEEP THE TRUTH HIDDEN…

Rowdy: (club to the back of the head…random crashing sfx)

Rowdy:

Now there has been a lot going on since we’ve been gone but we’re going to pretend that none of that has happened and try to focus on the last couple weeks of gaming news for the News Roundup. (Travis wakes up and randomly yells I’m ok in the distance while Rowdy continues the intro…)

In today’s episode we’re going to do a short News Roundup where we’ll talk about a few things going on that we find interesting such as the new Pokemon Scarlet/Violet game announcement. Xbox announced a whole slew of games coming out within the next year. And Last of Us was remastered. 

Travis: Didn’t they already re-release it or something like that?

Rowdy: I’ll explain it to Travis…in simple words so he can properly understand it when we get to that segment. 

Then we’ll talk about some other announcements such as Dragon’s Dogma 2 and Final Fantasy …uhh…games. 

Travis: After the News Roundup we’ll have a special REVIEW BOMBS where we’ll read only the best, organic, absolutely pure, possibly even pescatarian and gluten free, 0 star reviews of Diablo Immortal in all it’s glory. 

We’ll end the episode with our new segment GAMES WE ARE HYPED ABOUT followed by Games We’ve been playing! 

All this and more on the Lamer Gamers Podcast

Now before we get started we’d like to let you know that we finally have SPONSORS on the show! We’ve been contacted by multiple fast food companies planning on releasing competition to the most epic console of all time, the KFC Console! So, expect a couple commercials during the show that will totally not interrupt your regularly schedule Lamer Gamers Podcast

Now before we get started with the show…Let’s check in on Rowdy now that he has finished the delightfully cheery, e-rated game of Bugsnax! 

Rowdy: BUNGER BUNGER BUNGER! THE BUGSNAX ARE CRAWLING IN MY SKIN! WE ARE ALL DOOMED! THEY ARE IN MY EYES!!!! THE END IS NIGH! THE GRUMPINATI IS REAL! BUGNSAX IS A LIE!!! (incoherent Rowdy ramblings and Bugsnax noises)

Travis: Oh…k….we’ll get right back to the Lamer Gamers Podcast because it seems Rowdy is in shock and shaking on the ground in the fetal position.. SOMEONE REMOVE HIS TINFOIL HAT…I NEED 10 cc’s of adrenaline and SOMEBODY HIT THE MUSIC STAT! 

In today’s episode Rowdy is going to give us his impressions of the Playstation 5 along with (games …)

LameTravis will give you his impressions playing the latest perpetually distracted viking simulator from Ubisoft aka Assassin’s Creed Valhalla

We break down the absolute worst retailer launch of a console this in the Lamer of the Week. It was not all it was cracked up to be…that’s a pun you’ll get later in the show… 

And finally we get to that Bonus Points where we asked a bunch of lamers and streamers if they believe the should have to pay to stream a video game. 

All that and more coming up on the Lamer Gamers Podcast

Now before we start the show, Rowdy and LameTravis asked the local seer for signs from the Norse gods. She claimed that to properly soothsay and see the signs that she needed a PS5 or Xbox Series S for…reasons… so we have been informed to raid, loot, and pillage the local Wal-Mart for new consoles, in the name of Odin and Thor!

Now let’s get prepare a bag with all the essentials we need for survival. Such as a canteen of water, canned food, MRE’s, a multi tool, swiss army knife, bear mace, and our Nintendo Switch because it is time to brave the cold dark wind as we WAIT IN LINE FOR A NEW CONSOLE!!! Oh wait…I’ve received a transmission from my trusty radio…apparently standing in line for the new console is not allowed…well darn…I guess I’ll go back to pressing F5 while recording the next episode of the Lamer Gamers Podcast 

And of course we’ll take the most egregious of news items to give the coveted LAMER OF THE WEEK award by the end of the news segment! 

Rowdy will also give us some insight on GENSHIN IMPACT! in this episode. 

All that and more coming up on the Lamer Gamers Podcast

Then we’ll announce the LAMER OF THE WEEK award winner along with some that didn’t quite get that coveted golden Lamer trophy. 
And we’ll end the show with some BONUS POINTS where we asked a bunch of Lamers if they planned on getting either a PS5 or an Xbox Series console along with an explanation of when…and why. 

Now we have invoked the powers of Lamestrodamus to inform you that we are on the verge of war…a console war…we’ve seen the signs. Fan boys gathering in social media spaces yelling snarky digital snippets at each other known as tweets. Angry, disaffected PC Master race types clinging to their multi-threaded multi-thousand dollar machines but not too close so they avoid 3rd degree burns from the heat coming out the back. Nintendo just kinda laying around doing whatever the heck Nintendo does kinda like Switzerland in WWII.  Microsoft claims they have found some sort of monolithic box that points green ray traced light up to the heavens. And Sony, in a fit of disassociated rage wrapped a binder around a modem screaming to the world about how Unreal everything is. Being concerned about these signs we traveled far and wide looking for signs of the upcoming war and were eventually led to the sage Lamestrodamus living under a bridge that claims he shared these same visions of two giant console titans that won’t fit on your tv stand together. Lamestrodamus confirmed our suspicions with some tea leaves, an Ouija board, some Nitro brew coffee, and a 20 piece box of chicken nuggets. Now that we have confirmed our suspicions of the future in the gaming world we can better inform you of what is to come. Now lets get started.

Now we’re going to follow in the footsteps of the Devolver Direct and build up some fake hype for our podcast in our official LAMER GAMERS PODCAST DIRECT. We’re going to be taking hype for our podcast, paying Google, Twitter, and Facebook thousands of dollars to load it into an advertising cannon and will blast away your faces with all the podcast hype! Nobody really cares if a podcast is good or has a loyal following NO..you either have to associated with a multi million dollar media company or pay for advertising so we’re going the low route and will advertise about how OR MAYBE GET ON IHEART RADIO so…are you ready for the most awesome, intense, podcast that hits all the right notes of a money making podcast? Well in this episode we’re going to talk about murder, conspiracy, use allll the cuss word (maybe even some we make up), natural disasters, reality tv, and as much low brow entertainment news about celebs and youtubers as possible. You ready for this? Let’s get started! (wait…we’re still doing a gaming podcast….) Yeah, forget that other stuff , we just want people to download this, who cares about making a good podcast anymore. 

Don't have time to listen to the whole episode? Check below for time stamps or find it in segments at Lamer Gamers Bytes on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you cast your pods! 

Intro of Intense Hype 00:00:24
News 00:03:44
Rumors 00:48:51
Game Impressions 01:03:46
Bonus Points 01:23:10

So we will be back next week with our main quest style show. If you are looking for the News Round Up unfortunately that isn’t happening today but we have changed our main quest format to hit the news and rumors first so you can go back and listen to the first part of the last 3 or 4 episodes and get caught up. We will do our best to have it back for next month. Unfortunately with all the summer gaming news and 2 brand new consoles coming out soon there is really too much news to do sidequest shows lately. 

Now before I let y’all get back to work or back from lunch or maybe even you are about to have another round with Ganon…June was our biggest month since the Google search engine algorithm change. I want to send an extra special thank you to everyone that has listened to us and subscribed. We’ve managed to grow the show without help from search engines for over a year. Without everyone sharing the show we probably …well…ok…we’d probably still because Rowdy and I really…REAALLLY like talking about video games but all of you Lamers make it way more fun… Alright folks that’s going to be it for me. If you are out here in the States I hope you had a Happy Independence Day weekend and to everyone in the world thank you once again for listening to the Official Podcast for the Lamers and Working Class Gamers here at the Lamer Gamers Podcast! 

Timestamps
News: 2:20
Rumors: 31:53
Impressions: 49:30 
Bonus Points: 1:07:44

Now let’s start a café for pokemon and train the most ornery of bidoofs to create a venti, half-whole milk, one quarter 1%, one quarter non-fat, extra hot, split quad shots including 1 1/2 shots decaf Columbian espresso with 2 1/2 shots organic, non-gmo, fair trade, single origin Ethiopian yurga-cheffe espresso at 203 degrees farenheit, no foam latte, with whip, 2 packets of splenda, 1 sugar in the raw, a touch of vanilla syrup and 3 short sprinkles of cinnamon in the latest episode of the Lamer Gamers Podcast!  

In today’s episode we’re going to talk about some of the top gaming news from this week including the Game Gear Micro surprise release, Nyko is now offering relief for people and Nintendo’s affected by their Portable Dock, new Minecraft Dungeons DLC releasing in July, and we’ll read Sony’s announcement about the PS5 debut has being postponed. Afterwards we’ll give you impressions of Xenoblade Chronicles Definitive Edition, Minecraft Dungeons, Maneater, and Assassin’s Creed Origins.  Then we’re adding a special BONUS POINTS section where we ask a couple questions to end the show including What if Cyberpunk 2077 sucks and does Travis think that Google Stadia is worth buying after he’s finally played Stadia Pro.

Now let’s eat a suit of armor and the license plates from every single state and Mako our way to the Clovis Bay as we Hammerhead our enemies to their watery graves in the latest episode of the Lamer Gamers Podcast! 

As a quick note –We will no longer say the name of the current sickness plaguing our lands. Instead, we shall refer to it as THE GOBBLES because if you don’t wear a mask while eating garbage turkeys you will most definitely get the gobbles. It’s absolutely ridiculous but the unfortunate reality of content creation at this moment does not allow those of us to speak of the virus on our shows because the people that power the shadows on the wall at Google, Twitter, etc… will make our podcast less visible to the public. 

Now that we’ve broken down our hundredth piece of gear we looted from mobs of boxy looking zombies and creepers (huh) then enchanted said armor and weapons with the ability to bring lightning down from the heavens to smite these low polygonal minions  LETS GET STARTED… 

Now let’s put on some blindfolds and jump into a giant flying mech to fight in the most epic of battles with what looks like a Home Depot on steroids in the latest episode of Lamer Gamers Podcast BECOME AS GODS edition! BECOME AS GODS BECOME AS GODS BECOME AS GODS (need to get everyone in the background to do this if possible)

This week we are going to do something new…something special. WE’RE GOING TO PLAY GAMES! 

Rowdy – “Don’t we do that all the time though?”

Travis -  “Yeah, but we’re going to stream them this week”

Rowdy – “Oh, nice”

Travis – It’s the LAMER GAMERS ACTUALLY GAME  - GAMING WEEK! We’re going to stream a game every day of the week at 4pm Pacific/ 5pm Mountain/ 6pm Central/7pm Eastern on twitch.tv/lamergamerspodcast – Rowdy what are you playing next week and what days?

Rowdy – Monday 4/20 simplyTravis and I will be visiting each others islands on Animal Crossing New Horizons. It’s gonna be an MTV cribs style episode. It’s also the first time we’ve seen each other's islands. Should be interesting.

Tuesday 4/21 Resident Evil 3 Remake from the beginning. It’s my second playthrough of the game and I'm gonna play as much as possible, maybe even play through the whole game.

Travis – And on Wednesday and Friday I’m going to be playing the game I never stop talking about…Pillars of Eternity 2 Deadfire! I will be roleplaying the character Bartleby : The Beckoner of Bad Ideas by reading all of his choices and narrating everything that is not voice acted in the game. I have imported the “Everything Bad” save from Pillars of Eternity 1 and will try to tick off the gods even more! So join me and Bartleby as we hide behind a shield, throw explosives, and let my literal skeleton crew do all the fighting! Now I will be streaming as Bartleby a couple times a week and we’ve already had more than 150 views of this series on Youtube so far! 

On Thursday we'll join up with the Game Witness Discord to play some Smash Bros on the Switch! 

If you can’t catch the stream live, don’t worry! We’ll upload everything to the Lamer Gamers Youtube page so you can keep up with all the fun! 

Next week we will be back to our regularly scheduled podcasting with the April News Round Up! See you guys next week…

Rowdy – Don’t you mean starting Monday …we’re going to see them Monday when we play Animal Crossing and show off our cribs.

Travis – Oh yeah! See y’all Monday and thanks for listening the Lamer Gamers Podcast!

Now, before we start the show…we’re going to try to do something never attempted before. We are going to press the X button on all three consoles and a keyboard simultaneously to hopefully alter the space time continuum and force Nintendo to never release the CD I version of Zelda. You got your controllers ready? Let’s hit the X button in 3…2…1…GOOOOO 

Now we’re going to chop trees, go fishing, collect fossils, shoot balloons out of the sky, find another freaking egg, make fish bait so I don’t fish eggs out of the water, talk to another animal, catch a sea bass, go to an island, try to find tarantula island, make my own tarantula, no scope an egg balloon, get bit by a tarantula while shooting a balloon, break a shovel, break a net, break a fishing pole, go to another island to offload these freaking apples, hit Zipper bunny with a net again for fun, jump over this river, pay Tom Nook to build a bridge, pay Tom Nook for another room and THEN START IT ALL OVER AGAIN TOMORROW! 

• Sony PS4 & PS5 - 00:01:48
• Nintendo Switch - 00:35:33
• Microsoft Xbox - 01:08:01
• Multiplatform & PC - 01:34:43

In today’s episode we’re going to talk about the 10 Games to Escape the World With..because right now everybody needs a little bit of escapism with all the craziness going on with the Coronavirus Pandemic. I think it’s going to be a good show, what do you think Rowdy – 

I think it’s going to be sick.

This podcast may go viral. 

Before Rowdy makes anymore inappropriate jokes about this episode if you like the stuff we do here on the show make sure to check out @lamergamerscast on Twitter, www.lamergamers.com/subscribe, and throw a review down on Apple Podcasts or Podchaser!

Now, let’s get started with our first show where we are extremely socially distanced on opposite sides of the rivers in the Steamy Swamps of South East Texas! 

Now we’re going to grab a stick and a shell to make a magical staff, roll some dice to determine our stats, and go on an epic adventure for glory, loot and hitting save every single time we do something questionable. And that questionable thing we’re going to do right now is fight off the threat of the calamitous and cranky crustacean with claws of calamity named Septa the Ineffable that is holding our microphones that we kinda need to record the latest episode of the Lamer Gamers Podcast. TO BATTLE! 

Welcome to the Lamer Gamers February Newscast! This episode is part of the service we provide for the people who don’t have the time to keep up with all the news and the twitters. We are going to break down the top news from the month for each console and a sort mixture of multiplatform and pc stuff we find interesting along with the most convincing rumors, the most ridiculous fake gaming news, the games that released for February, and even the games to look forward to in March! 

Now that we have a cartoonishly large load of gaming news loaded up in our podcasting trebuchet let’s get started!

In today’s episode I will talk about all things Beta. Now I don’t mean like the kinda beta that somebody may call you in a political internet argument, I’m talking about beta games and operating systems! I’ve recently signed up for Xbox Insider to check out if the new user interface they keep talking about is really all it’s cracked up to be then after that I’ll grab some magical playing cards to cast a fire spell as I burn through the Phantasy Star Online 2 closed beta! To finish things off I’ll sign up for a sketchy operation to modify my body because I want to join a cybernetic fight club in the Bleeding Edge beta! The match begins in 3…2…1… GO! 

Before we jump into the Xbox Insider Beta if you like the stuff we do here on the show make sure to share this podcast with a friend and hit subscribe on whatever fancy podcast player you are using! You can find out more at www.lamergamers.com/subscribe

After the unboxing and impressions Rowdy5000 plays through the first few levels to give you an idea of what the quality of the game is and how it plays. Will this game be too strenuous for you? Is it game enough or is it just lame? Watch the video to find out!

Big thanks to Casey Adams Photography and Good For Nothing Gaming for helping us get this together! You can find Casey's instagram at https://www.instagram.com/caseyadamsp... and Facebook page at https://www.facebook.com/cadamsphotog...

Check out our friends at Good For Nothing Games at https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCV6A...

This is video is brought to you by the Lamer Gamers Podcast which is the Official Podcast for the Lamers and Working Class Gamers. You can find the Lamer Gamers Podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Youtube, or wherever you cast your pods! Check out www.lamergamers.com/subscribe to find it on your favorite player! We release content weekly on Mondays so subscribe to listen in.

Our shows tend to follow two paths. A MAIN QUEST and SIDEQUESTS.  The main quest podcasts you will find the latest gaming news, views, rumors, fake news, and more! We also have another main quest where we give you a round-up of all the biggest news at the end of the month for each console in our Newscast. Then we tend to do a sidequest on a random chosen topic with either both hosts or solo.

You can also join our discord at https://discord.gg/2gHnf4E to hang out and play some games. We allow content creators to share their creations in the #creators-space room so feel free to join the party! 

Thanks again for checking out the Lamer Gamers Podcast from the steamy swamps of South East Texas! The Lamer Gamers Podcast is the Official Podcast for the Lamers and Working Class Gamers. Follow us on twitter @lamergamerscast for more!

Welcome to the Lamer Gamers January Newscast! This episode is part of the service we provide for the people who don’t have the time to keep up with all the news and the twitters. We are going to break down the top news from the month for each console (and maybe pc) along with the most convincing rumors, the most ridiculous fake gaming news, the games that released for January, and even the games to look forward to in February! We might even read some of their more entertaining comments from user reviews on Metacritic. 

Now that we have a cartoonishly large load of gaming news loaded up in our podcasting cannons let’s get started! 

Today we’re going to talk about the Pokemon Direct from January, the console wars heating up again, and as always talk about the games we’ve played recently! Now that we have the a bunch of pokeballs and the episode loaded up in our podcasting cannons let’s hit that transition music!

Today we’re going to talk about waaaay too much news! We’ll first talk about all the games we’ve been playing recently then dive into the ridiculous amount of news that we have feasted on this Holiday Season such as what happened at the Game Awards. Xbox Series X news bonanza, Sony’s State of Play, Nintendo’s Indie World Showcase and more! Then we’ll hop over to our rumors section Fake News to discuss rumors ranging from Metroid games (plural), Pokemon news that well..is fake news, and some interesting rumors walking up to the plate for Sony. Now that we have the show loaded up in our podcasting cannons let’s go! 

Now that we have the introduction taken care of it’s time for me to put glowing red noses on my dogs, hitch them up to a sleigh, and don my orange and cyan Santa hat as we ride on through the night to bring you the Lamest Gamest Holiday Guide for 2019!         

NOW PIG! NOW BELL! NOW SHORTSTACK! TO THE TOP OF THE PORCH! TO THE TOP OF THE WALL! NOW DASH AWAY! DASH AWAY! DASH AWAY ALL! 101

Now let’s all get in line, let a hundred flowers bloom, and start goosestepping towards the glorious future of this special sidequest edition of the Lamer Gamers Podcast. 

Today we’ll be talking about a ton of games since our most recent 500 year flood. This ones name was Imelda. Then we’re going to talk about Inside Xbox vs State of Play, Hori Split Pad Pro review, and alll the fake news.

We drove more than 250 miles from the steamy swamps of Southeast Texas to the majestic hipster haven in the hill country known as Austin...also in Texas... to experience...virtual war. And by that I mean Dan Carlin’s virtual reality experience War Remains which gave us the chance to experience the sights, sounds, and explosive immersive reality behind World War I trench warfare. 

Today we’re going to walk you through what we experienced at War Remains and discuss the history behind World War I. As we walk through the experience we’ll dive into what it was like to be a soldier on the front line, in the trenches, and up in the air. We’ll finish up by discussing how this use of gaming technology is viewed by a historian vs a gamer. Now that we have our marching orders it’s time to load up and move on out!