I Hate You. What's For Dinner? Transistor (https://transistor.fm) https://feeds.transistor.fm/i-hate-you-whats-for-dinner On I Hate You. What's For Dinner? we explore whether childhood explains everything. We'll ask our biggest questions about love and hate, rage and fear, and the awesome and mundane that all get smushed together when we're growing up. Tune in to make better sense of childhood, parenthood, and life in general. © 2026 Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan a98551df-e650-5433-96b7-81792e5b58a3 no Introducing I Hate You. What's For Dinner? en Thu, 17 Sep 2026 00:01:07 -0700 Thu, 17 Sep 2026 00:02:01 -0700 https://img.transistorcdn.com/FcqLsgymNT1zv5GKAcRdx4Z888PyoYag2eYFRTmN0Yg/rs:fill:0:0:1/w:1400/h:1400/q:60/mb:500000/aHR0cHM6Ly9pbWct/dXBsb2FkLXByb2R1/Y3Rpb24udHJhbnNp/c3Rvci5mbS8zZTAz/ZTZmNTMzN2QzM2Iw/N2JjNzNlMzQ3ZTlm/OGQwNS5wbmc.jpg I Hate You. What's For Dinner? episodic Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan On I Hate You. What's For Dinner? we explore whether childhood explains everything. We'll ask our biggest questions about love and hate, rage and fear, and the awesome and mundane that all get smushed together when we're growing up. Tune in to make better sense of childhood, parenthood, and life in general. On I Hate You. child development, parenting, clinical psychology, childhood psychology, family dynamics, developmental psychology, mental health Gillian Boudreau gillianboudreau@gillianboudreauphd.com No No Ep 19 - Unconditional Love and Identity Theft: Jamie Beth Cohen on Her Dad 19 19 Ep 19 - Unconditional Love and Identity Theft: Jamie Beth Cohen on Her Dad full cd4580c6-6cf3-4ea4-afdc-27650821d353 https://share.transistor.fm/s/5f0b8f98 A lot of us end up spending a significant part of our adult lives unpacking our childhoods. 


We obviously do a lot of that in therapy, for ourselves and the parents we work with. Some, like our guest, use their creative work as part of processing their past.


Today, we’re talking with Rob’s lifelong friend, author Jamie Beth Cohen. In our conversation, we revisit Jamie and Rob’s coming of age on the East Coast in the 80s and 90s, and do some speculating on what it’s like to be a kid these days. We also talk about the complicated work of conceptualizing parents who had both good and really harmful parts and how Jamie has infused her fiction and her essays with the difficult characters of her childhood.


Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • How both Jamie and Rob experienced not realizing that elements of their childhoods were not normal
  • How Jamie’s father’s spending and gambling shaped her relationship with money, work, and being an artist
  • Why Jamie couldn’t cut ties with her father and how it impacted the behaviors she tolerated in other relationships
  • How writing about her father has brought more understanding, but maybe not more peace
  • The stark differences in Jamie’s experience of being a teenaged girl and her daughter’s


Learn more about Jamie Beth Cohen:


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.:


Resources:

]]> A lot of us end up spending a significant part of our adult lives unpacking our childhoods. 


We obviously do a lot of that in therapy, for ourselves and the parents we work with. Some, like our guest, use their creative work as part of processing their past.


Today, we’re talking with Rob’s lifelong friend, author Jamie Beth Cohen. In our conversation, we revisit Jamie and Rob’s coming of age on the East Coast in the 80s and 90s, and do some speculating on what it’s like to be a kid these days. We also talk about the complicated work of conceptualizing parents who had both good and really harmful parts and how Jamie has infused her fiction and her essays with the difficult characters of her childhood.


Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • How both Jamie and Rob experienced not realizing that elements of their childhoods were not normal
  • How Jamie’s father’s spending and gambling shaped her relationship with money, work, and being an artist
  • Why Jamie couldn’t cut ties with her father and how it impacted the behaviors she tolerated in other relationships
  • How writing about her father has brought more understanding, but maybe not more peace
  • The stark differences in Jamie’s experience of being a teenaged girl and her daughter’s


Learn more about Jamie Beth Cohen:


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.:


Resources:

]]> Thu, 17 Sep 2026 00:01:00 -0700 Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan 4178 A lot of us end up spending a significant part of our adult lives unpacking our childhoods. 


We obviously do a lot of that in therapy, for ourselves and the parents we work with. Some, like our guest, use their creative work as part of processing their past.


Today, we’re talking with Rob’s lifelong friend, author Jamie Beth Cohen. In our conversation, we revisit Jamie and Rob’s coming of age on the East Coast in the 80s and 90s, and do some speculating on what it’s like to be a kid these days. We also talk about the complicated work of conceptualizing parents who had both good and really harmful parts and how Jamie has infused her fiction and her essays with the difficult characters of her childhood.


Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • How both Jamie and Rob experienced not realizing that elements of their childhoods were not normal
  • How Jamie’s father’s spending and gambling shaped her relationship with money, work, and being an artist
  • Why Jamie couldn’t cut ties with her father and how it impacted the behaviors she tolerated in other relationships
  • How writing about her father has brought more understanding, but maybe not more peace
  • The stark differences in Jamie’s experience of being a teenaged girl and her daughter’s


Learn more about Jamie Beth Cohen:


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.:


Resources:

]]> child development, parenting, clinical psychology, childhood psychology, family dynamics, developmental psychology, mental health No Ep 18 - Dad's Performance Review: Teddy Galligan on What Worked and What Didn't 18 18 Ep 18 - Dad's Performance Review: Teddy Galligan on What Worked and What Didn't full 3d37e88a-c46b-4089-8ccb-35208abc32d2 https://share.transistor.fm/s/7959834a Every parent has moments when they look at their kid and wonder, “Are they gonna be okay when they head out into the world?”


In the day to day struggles that come up with school, homework, activities, chores, siblings, we can lose sight of the big picture. Which makes it all the more delightful when you get to have conversations with your kid that make you realize that yeah, they’re going to be fine. 


Today’s episode is the result of one of those conversations. We’re joined by Rob’s son, Teddy, who very graciously agreed to record a conversation with his dad and his dad’s friend from grad school who he hasn’t seen since he was seven. We talk about shifting family dynamics as Teddy moves on to college, reflect back on some of the hard times between Rob and Teddy and what was fueling their conflicts, and even get Teddy’s take on new school versus old school parenting. 


Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • Teddy and Rob reflect on school years, the interruptions of COVID, and how the cycle of novice to established keeps repeating
  • The mindset challenges that drove a lot of Teddy’s conflicts with his dad early in high school, and how he came to recognize the stakes at play
  • Why Teddy thinks that new school collaborative parenting isn’t always the right answer
  • Unpacking how Teddy’s behavior could bring up jealousy, shame, and helplessness for Rob and how that colored their relationship
  • What Rob and Teddy hope for the future of their relationship


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.:

]]> Every parent has moments when they look at their kid and wonder, “Are they gonna be okay when they head out into the world?”


In the day to day struggles that come up with school, homework, activities, chores, siblings, we can lose sight of the big picture. Which makes it all the more delightful when you get to have conversations with your kid that make you realize that yeah, they’re going to be fine. 


Today’s episode is the result of one of those conversations. We’re joined by Rob’s son, Teddy, who very graciously agreed to record a conversation with his dad and his dad’s friend from grad school who he hasn’t seen since he was seven. We talk about shifting family dynamics as Teddy moves on to college, reflect back on some of the hard times between Rob and Teddy and what was fueling their conflicts, and even get Teddy’s take on new school versus old school parenting. 


Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • Teddy and Rob reflect on school years, the interruptions of COVID, and how the cycle of novice to established keeps repeating
  • The mindset challenges that drove a lot of Teddy’s conflicts with his dad early in high school, and how he came to recognize the stakes at play
  • Why Teddy thinks that new school collaborative parenting isn’t always the right answer
  • Unpacking how Teddy’s behavior could bring up jealousy, shame, and helplessness for Rob and how that colored their relationship
  • What Rob and Teddy hope for the future of their relationship


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.:

]]> Thu, 03 Sep 2026 00:01:00 -0700 Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan 4423 Every parent has moments when they look at their kid and wonder, “Are they gonna be okay when they head out into the world?”


In the day to day struggles that come up with school, homework, activities, chores, siblings, we can lose sight of the big picture. Which makes it all the more delightful when you get to have conversations with your kid that make you realize that yeah, they’re going to be fine. 


Today’s episode is the result of one of those conversations. We’re joined by Rob’s son, Teddy, who very graciously agreed to record a conversation with his dad and his dad’s friend from grad school who he hasn’t seen since he was seven. We talk about shifting family dynamics as Teddy moves on to college, reflect back on some of the hard times between Rob and Teddy and what was fueling their conflicts, and even get Teddy’s take on new school versus old school parenting. 


Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • Teddy and Rob reflect on school years, the interruptions of COVID, and how the cycle of novice to established keeps repeating
  • The mindset challenges that drove a lot of Teddy’s conflicts with his dad early in high school, and how he came to recognize the stakes at play
  • Why Teddy thinks that new school collaborative parenting isn’t always the right answer
  • Unpacking how Teddy’s behavior could bring up jealousy, shame, and helplessness for Rob and how that colored their relationship
  • What Rob and Teddy hope for the future of their relationship


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.:

]]> child development, parenting, clinical psychology, childhood psychology, family dynamics, developmental psychology, mental health No Ep 17 - Healthy Disappointment: What It Is and Why It Matters 17 17 Ep 17 - Healthy Disappointment: What It Is and Why It Matters full ebdde779-bc5d-447b-9087-dfc3db106621 https://share.transistor.fm/s/01c1ee63 At its most distilled, disappointment is just noticing a negative difference between what we expected and what actually happened. It’s a moment for recalibrating our expectations and learning from an experience.


Of course, we throw a lot of other feelings and experiences into the mix along with that gap, and that’s especially true when expectation and reality involves our kids. 


In this episode, we theorize about the purpose of disappointment, how it gets twisted up with how we were parented, and how that in turn affects how we raise our kids. We talk about shame versus disappointment, the paradox of controlling what you can while knowing you have very little control, and how to acknowledge our disappointment while maintaining an open attitude with our kids.  


Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • How disappointment often brings up shame, helplessness, anger, and anxiety directed at yourself and your kid
  • The often tricky relationship between performance and the right to be loved
  • How healthy disappointment recognizes the varied factors at play and releases excessive illusions of control over a situation
  • Psychoanalytic and evolutionary perspectives on why we feel disappointment
  • How parents can approach disappointment with more curiosity and less projection


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.:


Resources:

]]> At its most distilled, disappointment is just noticing a negative difference between what we expected and what actually happened. It’s a moment for recalibrating our expectations and learning from an experience.


Of course, we throw a lot of other feelings and experiences into the mix along with that gap, and that’s especially true when expectation and reality involves our kids. 


In this episode, we theorize about the purpose of disappointment, how it gets twisted up with how we were parented, and how that in turn affects how we raise our kids. We talk about shame versus disappointment, the paradox of controlling what you can while knowing you have very little control, and how to acknowledge our disappointment while maintaining an open attitude with our kids.  


Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • How disappointment often brings up shame, helplessness, anger, and anxiety directed at yourself and your kid
  • The often tricky relationship between performance and the right to be loved
  • How healthy disappointment recognizes the varied factors at play and releases excessive illusions of control over a situation
  • Psychoanalytic and evolutionary perspectives on why we feel disappointment
  • How parents can approach disappointment with more curiosity and less projection


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.:


Resources:

]]> Thu, 20 Aug 2026 00:01:00 -0700 Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan 3790 At its most distilled, disappointment is just noticing a negative difference between what we expected and what actually happened. It’s a moment for recalibrating our expectations and learning from an experience.


Of course, we throw a lot of other feelings and experiences into the mix along with that gap, and that’s especially true when expectation and reality involves our kids. 


In this episode, we theorize about the purpose of disappointment, how it gets twisted up with how we were parented, and how that in turn affects how we raise our kids. We talk about shame versus disappointment, the paradox of controlling what you can while knowing you have very little control, and how to acknowledge our disappointment while maintaining an open attitude with our kids.  


Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • How disappointment often brings up shame, helplessness, anger, and anxiety directed at yourself and your kid
  • The often tricky relationship between performance and the right to be loved
  • How healthy disappointment recognizes the varied factors at play and releases excessive illusions of control over a situation
  • Psychoanalytic and evolutionary perspectives on why we feel disappointment
  • How parents can approach disappointment with more curiosity and less projection


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.:


Resources:

]]> child development, parenting, clinical psychology, childhood psychology, family dynamics, developmental psychology, mental health No Ep 16 - Healing in Real Time: Lucy Bichsel on Bringing Parents Into the Room 16 16 Ep 16 - Healing in Real Time: Lucy Bichsel on Bringing Parents Into the Room full 8a8bbaf2-61c2-4390-b15f-aae341140ea5 https://share.transistor.fm/s/a0db25ea There are deep biases embedded in the literature and therapist training for how therapy is supposed to be done. Some of those norms have evolved and some of the rules still feel very rigid. 


Old school rules say that an adult who is working on issues from their childhood might talk about their mother every week for five years, but a therapist would never suggest the client bring their mom to a session.


But if both the adult child and parent are willing, why couldn’t we do things differently?


Today we’re talking with clinical psychologist Lucy Bichsel, who has been doing some unorthodox and very interesting work in her practice to help people make sense of some of their longest-held wounds. We dive into how Lucy expands the frame of individual adult therapy to allow parents and other important people into the room, potential pitfalls and opportunities for profound healing, and –– for anybody struggling with their relationship with a parent –– some of the patterns and dynamics we see pop up again and again for our clients. 


Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • How bringing an adult child and parent together shifts the enactment that happens between therapist and client to the original relationship
  • What Lucy learned the hard way about her role as a secure base for both her individual patient and their family member 
  • Why becoming a parent is often a catalyst for people to rethink their relationships with their parents 
  • Why reinterpreting the past isn’t necessarily the goal and how responsiveness in the here and now creates healing
  • How Lucy approaches working with families when intentions are good but defenses are high
  • How generational differences and caretaking for aging parents can create friction in child-parent relationships


Learn more about Lucy Bichsel PhD:


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.:


Resources:

]]> There are deep biases embedded in the literature and therapist training for how therapy is supposed to be done. Some of those norms have evolved and some of the rules still feel very rigid. 


Old school rules say that an adult who is working on issues from their childhood might talk about their mother every week for five years, but a therapist would never suggest the client bring their mom to a session.


But if both the adult child and parent are willing, why couldn’t we do things differently?


Today we’re talking with clinical psychologist Lucy Bichsel, who has been doing some unorthodox and very interesting work in her practice to help people make sense of some of their longest-held wounds. We dive into how Lucy expands the frame of individual adult therapy to allow parents and other important people into the room, potential pitfalls and opportunities for profound healing, and –– for anybody struggling with their relationship with a parent –– some of the patterns and dynamics we see pop up again and again for our clients. 


Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • How bringing an adult child and parent together shifts the enactment that happens between therapist and client to the original relationship
  • What Lucy learned the hard way about her role as a secure base for both her individual patient and their family member 
  • Why becoming a parent is often a catalyst for people to rethink their relationships with their parents 
  • Why reinterpreting the past isn’t necessarily the goal and how responsiveness in the here and now creates healing
  • How Lucy approaches working with families when intentions are good but defenses are high
  • How generational differences and caretaking for aging parents can create friction in child-parent relationships


Learn more about Lucy Bichsel PhD:


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.:


Resources:

]]> Thu, 06 Aug 2026 00:01:00 -0700 Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan 3783 There are deep biases embedded in the literature and therapist training for how therapy is supposed to be done. Some of those norms have evolved and some of the rules still feel very rigid. 


Old school rules say that an adult who is working on issues from their childhood might talk about their mother every week for five years, but a therapist would never suggest the client bring their mom to a session.


But if both the adult child and parent are willing, why couldn’t we do things differently?


Today we’re talking with clinical psychologist Lucy Bichsel, who has been doing some unorthodox and very interesting work in her practice to help people make sense of some of their longest-held wounds. We dive into how Lucy expands the frame of individual adult therapy to allow parents and other important people into the room, potential pitfalls and opportunities for profound healing, and –– for anybody struggling with their relationship with a parent –– some of the patterns and dynamics we see pop up again and again for our clients. 


Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • How bringing an adult child and parent together shifts the enactment that happens between therapist and client to the original relationship
  • What Lucy learned the hard way about her role as a secure base for both her individual patient and their family member 
  • Why becoming a parent is often a catalyst for people to rethink their relationships with their parents 
  • Why reinterpreting the past isn’t necessarily the goal and how responsiveness in the here and now creates healing
  • How Lucy approaches working with families when intentions are good but defenses are high
  • How generational differences and caretaking for aging parents can create friction in child-parent relationships


Learn more about Lucy Bichsel PhD:


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.:


Resources:

]]> child development, parenting, clinical psychology, childhood psychology, family dynamics, developmental psychology, mental health No Ep 15 - Grief, Relief, and Time to Reflect: The Gift of Endings 15 15 Ep 15 - Grief, Relief, and Time to Reflect: The Gift of Endings full 53a1cd34-3481-4e9b-a076-940fd7a33e4a https://share.transistor.fm/s/4f49b321 June is a time of transition for a lot of families. The end of the school year, graduations from one phase of schooling to the next –– endings and beginnings have a way of surfacing the feels.


And no one likes to process endings more than psychoanalysts. So as we’re at the end of the school year, and Rob has a child who just graduated high school — how?! –– we decided to spend some time today talking about endings. Rob shares some wisdom from his son’s head of school, Gillian talks about navigating change for kids and adults in a household, and we break down how the John Denver/Peter, Paul, & Mary classic “Leaving on a Jet Plane” encapsulates the vulnerabilities and fantasies of saying goodbye.


Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • The way so much of parenting becomes maintenance and banality, interspersed with moments of magic
  • How the wider community begins to play a bigger developmental role in the transition from little kid to big kid
  • Navigating adult transitional phases and relationships alongside your kiddos growing
  • How “Leaving on a Jet Plane” taps into the grief, love, and vulnerability of goodbyes of all kinds
  • How a child leaving the nest changes the center of gravity for the rest of the family
  • The relatively unsung genius of 38 Special


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.:


Resources:

]]> June is a time of transition for a lot of families. The end of the school year, graduations from one phase of schooling to the next –– endings and beginnings have a way of surfacing the feels.


And no one likes to process endings more than psychoanalysts. So as we’re at the end of the school year, and Rob has a child who just graduated high school — how?! –– we decided to spend some time today talking about endings. Rob shares some wisdom from his son’s head of school, Gillian talks about navigating change for kids and adults in a household, and we break down how the John Denver/Peter, Paul, & Mary classic “Leaving on a Jet Plane” encapsulates the vulnerabilities and fantasies of saying goodbye.


Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • The way so much of parenting becomes maintenance and banality, interspersed with moments of magic
  • How the wider community begins to play a bigger developmental role in the transition from little kid to big kid
  • Navigating adult transitional phases and relationships alongside your kiddos growing
  • How “Leaving on a Jet Plane” taps into the grief, love, and vulnerability of goodbyes of all kinds
  • How a child leaving the nest changes the center of gravity for the rest of the family
  • The relatively unsung genius of 38 Special


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.:


Resources:

]]> Thu, 16 Jul 2026 03:00:00 -0700 Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan 3317 June is a time of transition for a lot of families. The end of the school year, graduations from one phase of schooling to the next –– endings and beginnings have a way of surfacing the feels.


And no one likes to process endings more than psychoanalysts. So as we’re at the end of the school year, and Rob has a child who just graduated high school — how?! –– we decided to spend some time today talking about endings. Rob shares some wisdom from his son’s head of school, Gillian talks about navigating change for kids and adults in a household, and we break down how the John Denver/Peter, Paul, & Mary classic “Leaving on a Jet Plane” encapsulates the vulnerabilities and fantasies of saying goodbye.


Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • The way so much of parenting becomes maintenance and banality, interspersed with moments of magic
  • How the wider community begins to play a bigger developmental role in the transition from little kid to big kid
  • Navigating adult transitional phases and relationships alongside your kiddos growing
  • How “Leaving on a Jet Plane” taps into the grief, love, and vulnerability of goodbyes of all kinds
  • How a child leaving the nest changes the center of gravity for the rest of the family
  • The relatively unsung genius of 38 Special


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.:


Resources:

]]> child development, parenting, clinical psychology, childhood psychology, family dynamics, developmental psychology, mental health No Ep 14 - The Suicide Shroud: Dr. Alexis Tomarken on Silence, Blame, and Survival 14 14 Ep 14 - The Suicide Shroud: Dr. Alexis Tomarken on Silence, Blame, and Survival full 5a8e44d7-a19a-4713-93b0-aa7d936af6e8 https://share.transistor.fm/s/5a0f37ae In our society, we’re not good at openly talking about death. We’re even worse at speaking openly about death by suicide. 


The silence that so often accompanies suicide–what our guest calls “the shroud of suicide”–creates additional burdens for surviving family members, especially women who survive their spouses. The expectation to shield others from the full weight of the death, to even erase the facts of the experience, is an enormous pressure that has long-term consequences across generations.


Today, we’re in conversation with our former classmate, Dr. Alexis Tomarken, talk about two of her papers that discuss intergenerational trauma and the heavy burden of our collective discomfort with suicide. Alexis movingly weaves together psychoanalytic theory, her work as a therapist, and personal experience to show that putting words to life’s most difficult experiences is not only vital to personal integration, but impacts future generations as well.


Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • How our society treats suicide as crime, blames surviving women, and actually increases risk
  • Why open discussion and processing is more effective at the prevention of “suicide contagion” than hiding from it
  • Why the goal, especially for a surviving parent, is to keep the door open to communication with children, not to seek resolution
  • How therapists’ and clients’ lived experiences inevitably interact, even without therapist disclosure
  • How the blame and shame placed on women survivors is emblematic of gendered expectations of healing and caretaking


Learn more about Dr. Alexis Tomarken:


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.:


Resources:

]]> In our society, we’re not good at openly talking about death. We’re even worse at speaking openly about death by suicide. 


The silence that so often accompanies suicide–what our guest calls “the shroud of suicide”–creates additional burdens for surviving family members, especially women who survive their spouses. The expectation to shield others from the full weight of the death, to even erase the facts of the experience, is an enormous pressure that has long-term consequences across generations.


Today, we’re in conversation with our former classmate, Dr. Alexis Tomarken, talk about two of her papers that discuss intergenerational trauma and the heavy burden of our collective discomfort with suicide. Alexis movingly weaves together psychoanalytic theory, her work as a therapist, and personal experience to show that putting words to life’s most difficult experiences is not only vital to personal integration, but impacts future generations as well.


Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • How our society treats suicide as crime, blames surviving women, and actually increases risk
  • Why open discussion and processing is more effective at the prevention of “suicide contagion” than hiding from it
  • Why the goal, especially for a surviving parent, is to keep the door open to communication with children, not to seek resolution
  • How therapists’ and clients’ lived experiences inevitably interact, even without therapist disclosure
  • How the blame and shame placed on women survivors is emblematic of gendered expectations of healing and caretaking


Learn more about Dr. Alexis Tomarken:


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.:


Resources:

]]> Thu, 02 Jul 2026 03:00:00 -0700 Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan 4248 In our society, we’re not good at openly talking about death. We’re even worse at speaking openly about death by suicide. 


The silence that so often accompanies suicide–what our guest calls “the shroud of suicide”–creates additional burdens for surviving family members, especially women who survive their spouses. The expectation to shield others from the full weight of the death, to even erase the facts of the experience, is an enormous pressure that has long-term consequences across generations.


Today, we’re in conversation with our former classmate, Dr. Alexis Tomarken, talk about two of her papers that discuss intergenerational trauma and the heavy burden of our collective discomfort with suicide. Alexis movingly weaves together psychoanalytic theory, her work as a therapist, and personal experience to show that putting words to life’s most difficult experiences is not only vital to personal integration, but impacts future generations as well.


Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • How our society treats suicide as crime, blames surviving women, and actually increases risk
  • Why open discussion and processing is more effective at the prevention of “suicide contagion” than hiding from it
  • Why the goal, especially for a surviving parent, is to keep the door open to communication with children, not to seek resolution
  • How therapists’ and clients’ lived experiences inevitably interact, even without therapist disclosure
  • How the blame and shame placed on women survivors is emblematic of gendered expectations of healing and caretaking


Learn more about Dr. Alexis Tomarken:


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.:


Resources:

]]> child development, parenting, clinical psychology, childhood psychology, family dynamics, developmental psychology, mental health No Ep 13 - As Always, Start with Yourself: Kirk Martin on Calmer Parenting 13 13 Ep 13 - As Always, Start with Yourself: Kirk Martin on Calmer Parenting full a6ddf527-a6a6-4e00-b6a0-65793b0d4c0c https://share.transistor.fm/s/919deecc Everyone struggles sometimes when their kids have strong opinions or feelings and they need them to just do the thing already. And when frustrations are high, it can be easy to slip into the kind of old-school parenting a lot of us were raised with and that we might be trying not to replicate.

Our guest today, Kirk Martin, host of the Calm Parenting Podcast, knows those struggles intimately. In our conversation, he shares his journey with his son, Casey, and how he came to realize that he needed to throw out the old-school parenting playbook and change his whole way of thinking about autonomy, respect, and collaboration with his child.

We talk about why clinging to parental autonomy isn’t actually useful when you’re in a power struggle with your kid and what parents who might be at their wits’ end can do to shift those dynamics in a positive direction.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • How Kirk’s own oppositional tendencies gave him insight into the feelings and fears underneath the power struggles
  • Strategies for giving kids autonomy while maintaining boundaries and guardrails
  • Why parents have to manage their feelings of embarrassment or shame when their kids don’t do things the “right” way
  • Reframing disrespect and attitude as information that something’s up and an opportunity to connect
  • Normalizing that things will go wrong and allowing yourself compassion 
  • Why Kirk encourages parents, and especially dads, to problem-solve with their kids like they would with their coworkers 


Learn more about Kirk Martin:


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?

Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.:

]]> Everyone struggles sometimes when their kids have strong opinions or feelings and they need them to just do the thing already. And when frustrations are high, it can be easy to slip into the kind of old-school parenting a lot of us were raised with and that we might be trying not to replicate.

Our guest today, Kirk Martin, host of the Calm Parenting Podcast, knows those struggles intimately. In our conversation, he shares his journey with his son, Casey, and how he came to realize that he needed to throw out the old-school parenting playbook and change his whole way of thinking about autonomy, respect, and collaboration with his child.

We talk about why clinging to parental autonomy isn’t actually useful when you’re in a power struggle with your kid and what parents who might be at their wits’ end can do to shift those dynamics in a positive direction.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • How Kirk’s own oppositional tendencies gave him insight into the feelings and fears underneath the power struggles
  • Strategies for giving kids autonomy while maintaining boundaries and guardrails
  • Why parents have to manage their feelings of embarrassment or shame when their kids don’t do things the “right” way
  • Reframing disrespect and attitude as information that something’s up and an opportunity to connect
  • Normalizing that things will go wrong and allowing yourself compassion 
  • Why Kirk encourages parents, and especially dads, to problem-solve with their kids like they would with their coworkers 


Learn more about Kirk Martin:


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?

Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.:

]]> Thu, 18 Jun 2026 00:01:00 -0700 Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan 4022 Everyone struggles sometimes when their kids have strong opinions or feelings and they need them to just do the thing already. And when frustrations are high, it can be easy to slip into the kind of old-school parenting a lot of us were raised with and that we might be trying not to replicate.

Our guest today, Kirk Martin, host of the Calm Parenting Podcast, knows those struggles intimately. In our conversation, he shares his journey with his son, Casey, and how he came to realize that he needed to throw out the old-school parenting playbook and change his whole way of thinking about autonomy, respect, and collaboration with his child.

We talk about why clinging to parental autonomy isn’t actually useful when you’re in a power struggle with your kid and what parents who might be at their wits’ end can do to shift those dynamics in a positive direction.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • How Kirk’s own oppositional tendencies gave him insight into the feelings and fears underneath the power struggles
  • Strategies for giving kids autonomy while maintaining boundaries and guardrails
  • Why parents have to manage their feelings of embarrassment or shame when their kids don’t do things the “right” way
  • Reframing disrespect and attitude as information that something’s up and an opportunity to connect
  • Normalizing that things will go wrong and allowing yourself compassion 
  • Why Kirk encourages parents, and especially dads, to problem-solve with their kids like they would with their coworkers 


Learn more about Kirk Martin:


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?

Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.:

]]> child development, parenting, clinical psychology, childhood psychology, family dynamics, developmental psychology, mental health No Ep 12 - The Body Says NO: Casey Ehrlich on PDA (Pervasive Drive for Autonomy) 12 12 Ep 12 - The Body Says NO: Casey Ehrlich on PDA (Pervasive Drive for Autonomy) full 78dae93a-5709-4340-8b9f-ab80588e0e52 https://share.transistor.fm/s/3b703396 All of us have some level of innate desire for autonomy and equality. But for some, the need for autonomy and equality tangles with Survival Brain in ways that have major impacts on their well-being, even overriding basic survival needs like food, sleep, hygiene, or physical safety.


Though it can sometimes look that way from the outside, PDA (Persistent Drive for Autonomy or Pathological Demand Avoidance) is not just a knee-jerk, “You can’t tell me what to do!” PDA causes outsized reactions to perceived threats–threats which can be invisible or confusing to parents, educators, and therapists.    


Today’s guest, PDA expert Casey Ehrlich, defines PDA as a nervous system disability that requires a holistic approach that goes beyond in-the-moment behavioral intervention. In our conversation, she movingly recounts how her personal experience raising children with PDA caused her to turn her research background to understanding what PDA is and developing and validating an approach to managing this challenging disorder. And we talk about PDA’s impacts on kids and families, what makes it so mind-bending for outsiders, and how sometimes disrupting and confronting systems can be a benefit of having a PDA brain.


Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • Why Casey defines PDA as a neurotype separate from other kinds of demand avoidance seen with autism, executive dysfunction, or anxiety
  • Five common elements of PDA that can help parents identify and differentiate it from other concerns
  • How PDA-ers’ orientation toward autonomy, equality, and justice can become a source of personal and community strength
  • How a drive for autonomy can show up with other neurotypes, and when it crosses into PDA
  • Casey’s experience navigating two very different presentations of PDA and burnout with her two kids
  • Tools for parents to observe patterns and collect data, (mostly) keep their cool, leave space for their own feelings, and protect their boundaries and sense of self


Learn more about Casey Ehrlich, PhD:


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.:


Resources:

]]> All of us have some level of innate desire for autonomy and equality. But for some, the need for autonomy and equality tangles with Survival Brain in ways that have major impacts on their well-being, even overriding basic survival needs like food, sleep, hygiene, or physical safety.


Though it can sometimes look that way from the outside, PDA (Persistent Drive for Autonomy or Pathological Demand Avoidance) is not just a knee-jerk, “You can’t tell me what to do!” PDA causes outsized reactions to perceived threats–threats which can be invisible or confusing to parents, educators, and therapists.    


Today’s guest, PDA expert Casey Ehrlich, defines PDA as a nervous system disability that requires a holistic approach that goes beyond in-the-moment behavioral intervention. In our conversation, she movingly recounts how her personal experience raising children with PDA caused her to turn her research background to understanding what PDA is and developing and validating an approach to managing this challenging disorder. And we talk about PDA’s impacts on kids and families, what makes it so mind-bending for outsiders, and how sometimes disrupting and confronting systems can be a benefit of having a PDA brain.


Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • Why Casey defines PDA as a neurotype separate from other kinds of demand avoidance seen with autism, executive dysfunction, or anxiety
  • Five common elements of PDA that can help parents identify and differentiate it from other concerns
  • How PDA-ers’ orientation toward autonomy, equality, and justice can become a source of personal and community strength
  • How a drive for autonomy can show up with other neurotypes, and when it crosses into PDA
  • Casey’s experience navigating two very different presentations of PDA and burnout with her two kids
  • Tools for parents to observe patterns and collect data, (mostly) keep their cool, leave space for their own feelings, and protect their boundaries and sense of self


Learn more about Casey Ehrlich, PhD:


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.:


Resources:

]]> Thu, 04 Jun 2026 03:00:00 -0700 Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan 3913 All of us have some level of innate desire for autonomy and equality. But for some, the need for autonomy and equality tangles with Survival Brain in ways that have major impacts on their well-being, even overriding basic survival needs like food, sleep, hygiene, or physical safety.


Though it can sometimes look that way from the outside, PDA (Persistent Drive for Autonomy or Pathological Demand Avoidance) is not just a knee-jerk, “You can’t tell me what to do!” PDA causes outsized reactions to perceived threats–threats which can be invisible or confusing to parents, educators, and therapists.    


Today’s guest, PDA expert Casey Ehrlich, defines PDA as a nervous system disability that requires a holistic approach that goes beyond in-the-moment behavioral intervention. In our conversation, she movingly recounts how her personal experience raising children with PDA caused her to turn her research background to understanding what PDA is and developing and validating an approach to managing this challenging disorder. And we talk about PDA’s impacts on kids and families, what makes it so mind-bending for outsiders, and how sometimes disrupting and confronting systems can be a benefit of having a PDA brain.


Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • Why Casey defines PDA as a neurotype separate from other kinds of demand avoidance seen with autism, executive dysfunction, or anxiety
  • Five common elements of PDA that can help parents identify and differentiate it from other concerns
  • How PDA-ers’ orientation toward autonomy, equality, and justice can become a source of personal and community strength
  • How a drive for autonomy can show up with other neurotypes, and when it crosses into PDA
  • Casey’s experience navigating two very different presentations of PDA and burnout with her two kids
  • Tools for parents to observe patterns and collect data, (mostly) keep their cool, leave space for their own feelings, and protect their boundaries and sense of self


Learn more about Casey Ehrlich, PhD:


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.:


Resources:

]]> child development, parenting, clinical psychology, childhood psychology, family dynamics, developmental psychology, mental health No Ep 11 - Toward What Matters: Sarah Markowitz on CBT, Values, and Choice 11 11 Ep 11 - Toward What Matters: Sarah Markowitz on CBT, Values, and Choice full 3a6921fe-b1d8-4fc7-97c6-da451d3773c0 https://share.transistor.fm/s/a670ed2c There are many ways to do therapy, and many reasons why people gravitate to certain modalities, both as patients and practitioners. 


And while there are some who will insist that their way is the way, we’re happy to acknowledge where our preferred methods overlap and diverge with others, and how different therapies can help people arrive at the same place of better self-understanding and moving through the world with more ease. 


Today, we’re chatting with Gillian’s longtime friend and Cognitive Behavioral Therapist extraordinaire, Sarah Markowitz. We get into what’s similar in CBT and a psychodynamic approach, what’s different, and why these schools of therapy tend to appeal to certain people. We also talk about the tricky balancing act between direction and curiosity for therapists, educators, and parents when engaging kids on behavioral change.


Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • How Sarah investigates resistance to change from a stance that is both directive and client-centered
  • How building experience as therapists leads to more overlap in our approaches than not
  • The layers of thoughts, rules, and core beliefs that CBT uncovers over time
  • How both therapists and parenting advice have shifted to be more descriptive than directive
  • How Sarah’s logical, but not rigid, household, along with swimming, summer camp, and horses, shaped her ability to self-regulate and her default state under stress 


Learn more about Sarah Markowitz:


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.:


Resources:

]]> There are many ways to do therapy, and many reasons why people gravitate to certain modalities, both as patients and practitioners. 


And while there are some who will insist that their way is the way, we’re happy to acknowledge where our preferred methods overlap and diverge with others, and how different therapies can help people arrive at the same place of better self-understanding and moving through the world with more ease. 


Today, we’re chatting with Gillian’s longtime friend and Cognitive Behavioral Therapist extraordinaire, Sarah Markowitz. We get into what’s similar in CBT and a psychodynamic approach, what’s different, and why these schools of therapy tend to appeal to certain people. We also talk about the tricky balancing act between direction and curiosity for therapists, educators, and parents when engaging kids on behavioral change.


Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • How Sarah investigates resistance to change from a stance that is both directive and client-centered
  • How building experience as therapists leads to more overlap in our approaches than not
  • The layers of thoughts, rules, and core beliefs that CBT uncovers over time
  • How both therapists and parenting advice have shifted to be more descriptive than directive
  • How Sarah’s logical, but not rigid, household, along with swimming, summer camp, and horses, shaped her ability to self-regulate and her default state under stress 


Learn more about Sarah Markowitz:


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.:


Resources:

]]> Thu, 21 May 2026 00:01:00 -0700 Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan 3940 There are many ways to do therapy, and many reasons why people gravitate to certain modalities, both as patients and practitioners. 


And while there are some who will insist that their way is the way, we’re happy to acknowledge where our preferred methods overlap and diverge with others, and how different therapies can help people arrive at the same place of better self-understanding and moving through the world with more ease. 


Today, we’re chatting with Gillian’s longtime friend and Cognitive Behavioral Therapist extraordinaire, Sarah Markowitz. We get into what’s similar in CBT and a psychodynamic approach, what’s different, and why these schools of therapy tend to appeal to certain people. We also talk about the tricky balancing act between direction and curiosity for therapists, educators, and parents when engaging kids on behavioral change.


Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • How Sarah investigates resistance to change from a stance that is both directive and client-centered
  • How building experience as therapists leads to more overlap in our approaches than not
  • The layers of thoughts, rules, and core beliefs that CBT uncovers over time
  • How both therapists and parenting advice have shifted to be more descriptive than directive
  • How Sarah’s logical, but not rigid, household, along with swimming, summer camp, and horses, shaped her ability to self-regulate and her default state under stress 


Learn more about Sarah Markowitz:


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.:


Resources:

]]> child development, parenting, clinical psychology, childhood psychology, family dynamics, developmental psychology, mental health No Ep 10 - A Theory of Everything: The Primary Colors of Emotional Experience 10 10 Ep 10 - A Theory of Everything: The Primary Colors of Emotional Experience full dde04b8a-57ec-4392-b4f2-a2cb3c3feacc https://share.transistor.fm/s/25e37aca It might sound silly, or even impossible, to have a theory of everything that might show up in our clinical work.


And yet, when we’re sitting with people who are stuck or sitting with people that are suffering, so often it comes back to one of a few fundamental feelings, and all of the emotional gradations that come from them: safety, grief, and shame.


Today, we’re digging into these emotional primary colors that are at the root of so much of what we see in our clinical practices, how they show up and shape family dynamics, and how our personal experiences shape the lens that we bring to our work and how we frame the world.


Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • The patterns of behavior shaped by safety and belonging that Gillian recognized in her clients as parallels from her childhood
  • Why nurturing an environment that is consistently safe and loving is a lot harder than it sounds
  • How feelings of unsafety, grief, and shame show up for parents and kids
  • How shame functions as a product of survival fear and also a measure of if we deserve to be seen and loved
  • Why family and child counseling often needs to start with the parents and the family system 


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.:


Resources:

]]> It might sound silly, or even impossible, to have a theory of everything that might show up in our clinical work.


And yet, when we’re sitting with people who are stuck or sitting with people that are suffering, so often it comes back to one of a few fundamental feelings, and all of the emotional gradations that come from them: safety, grief, and shame.


Today, we’re digging into these emotional primary colors that are at the root of so much of what we see in our clinical practices, how they show up and shape family dynamics, and how our personal experiences shape the lens that we bring to our work and how we frame the world.


Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • The patterns of behavior shaped by safety and belonging that Gillian recognized in her clients as parallels from her childhood
  • Why nurturing an environment that is consistently safe and loving is a lot harder than it sounds
  • How feelings of unsafety, grief, and shame show up for parents and kids
  • How shame functions as a product of survival fear and also a measure of if we deserve to be seen and loved
  • Why family and child counseling often needs to start with the parents and the family system 


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.:


Resources:

]]> Thu, 07 May 2026 03:00:00 -0700 Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan 3289 It might sound silly, or even impossible, to have a theory of everything that might show up in our clinical work.


And yet, when we’re sitting with people who are stuck or sitting with people that are suffering, so often it comes back to one of a few fundamental feelings, and all of the emotional gradations that come from them: safety, grief, and shame.


Today, we’re digging into these emotional primary colors that are at the root of so much of what we see in our clinical practices, how they show up and shape family dynamics, and how our personal experiences shape the lens that we bring to our work and how we frame the world.


Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • The patterns of behavior shaped by safety and belonging that Gillian recognized in her clients as parallels from her childhood
  • Why nurturing an environment that is consistently safe and loving is a lot harder than it sounds
  • How feelings of unsafety, grief, and shame show up for parents and kids
  • How shame functions as a product of survival fear and also a measure of if we deserve to be seen and loved
  • Why family and child counseling often needs to start with the parents and the family system 


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Learn more about Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Learn more about Rob Galligan, PhD.:


Resources:

]]> child development, parenting, clinical psychology, childhood psychology, family dynamics, developmental psychology, mental health No Ep 09 - Fear, Resistance, and Flow: Paula Tursi on Letting Parenting Happen 9 9 Ep 09 - Fear, Resistance, and Flow: Paula Tursi on Letting Parenting Happen full 75762741-87b1-4dbb-a61a-0ebd5ba5beae https://share.transistor.fm/s/94aba9e0 Fear has a way of obstructing our development as people, as parents, and partners and friends. Our anxieties make us grasp for control when what we really need to do is get out of the way and let things unfold.


Easier said than done. 


Today, we have Gillian’s dear friend and “soul mother,” Paula Tursi, with us. Paula is a New York-based yoga and meditation teacher, spiritual guide, writer and thinker who is at once deeply spiritual and highly pragmatic. In our conversation, we talk about the role of fear in the challenges we face, how she transformed her relationship to fear, and how getting out of our own way can change our lives and our parenting. 


Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • Defining the roots of fear through the lens of survival and internal resistance
  • How the way we’re seen in childhood ripples through our lives, for good and ill
  • How the way we assign meaning to our visceral feelings impacts how we live and parent
  • Balancing parental guardrails and trusting kids to know themselves and what they need
  • How accepting where we are in the moment helps us move forward and live more fully
  • How to show kids they’re loved, safe, and seen even at the hardest moments


Learn more about Paula Tursi:

Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Connect with Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:

Connect with Rob Galligan, PhD.:

]]> Fear has a way of obstructing our development as people, as parents, and partners and friends. Our anxieties make us grasp for control when what we really need to do is get out of the way and let things unfold.


Easier said than done. 


Today, we have Gillian’s dear friend and “soul mother,” Paula Tursi, with us. Paula is a New York-based yoga and meditation teacher, spiritual guide, writer and thinker who is at once deeply spiritual and highly pragmatic. In our conversation, we talk about the role of fear in the challenges we face, how she transformed her relationship to fear, and how getting out of our own way can change our lives and our parenting. 


Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • Defining the roots of fear through the lens of survival and internal resistance
  • How the way we’re seen in childhood ripples through our lives, for good and ill
  • How the way we assign meaning to our visceral feelings impacts how we live and parent
  • Balancing parental guardrails and trusting kids to know themselves and what they need
  • How accepting where we are in the moment helps us move forward and live more fully
  • How to show kids they’re loved, safe, and seen even at the hardest moments


Learn more about Paula Tursi:

Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Connect with Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:

Connect with Rob Galligan, PhD.:

]]> Thu, 23 Apr 2026 03:00:00 -0700 Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan 4062 Fear has a way of obstructing our development as people, as parents, and partners and friends. Our anxieties make us grasp for control when what we really need to do is get out of the way and let things unfold.


Easier said than done. 


Today, we have Gillian’s dear friend and “soul mother,” Paula Tursi, with us. Paula is a New York-based yoga and meditation teacher, spiritual guide, writer and thinker who is at once deeply spiritual and highly pragmatic. In our conversation, we talk about the role of fear in the challenges we face, how she transformed her relationship to fear, and how getting out of our own way can change our lives and our parenting. 


Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • Defining the roots of fear through the lens of survival and internal resistance
  • How the way we’re seen in childhood ripples through our lives, for good and ill
  • How the way we assign meaning to our visceral feelings impacts how we live and parent
  • Balancing parental guardrails and trusting kids to know themselves and what they need
  • How accepting where we are in the moment helps us move forward and live more fully
  • How to show kids they’re loved, safe, and seen even at the hardest moments


Learn more about Paula Tursi:

Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Connect with Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:

Connect with Rob Galligan, PhD.:

]]> child development, parenting, clinical psychology, childhood psychology, family dynamics, developmental psychology, mental health No Ep 08 - Keeping it Authentic (and Surprising): Dr. Matt Morrison on Raising Kids and Therapists 8 8 Ep 08 - Keeping it Authentic (and Surprising): Dr. Matt Morrison on Raising Kids and Therapists full 3bfb06cf-ecaa-4b4d-bac1-e3b2fcf0c8d8 https://share.transistor.fm/s/af89f9a4 Establishing safety and trust is how we create connections and personal change, in therapy and in life. If we aren’t open to new experiences or perspectives, it’s a lot harder for any of us to get to all the good, gushy, connected stuff that helps us grow. 


Today, we're with our friend and colleague, Dr. Matt Morrison, who is the training director of Long Island University's Psychological Services Center. Matt brings his experience supervising student psychologists and joins us to talk about his work on the therapeutic stance (aka how to be as a therapist). We get into how discipline and discovery in the therapeutic relationship counteract anxiety and fear, how that connects with stepping out of self-fulfilling prophecies and allowing for surprise in parent-child relationships, and the advice we’d give to student and early-career therapists.


Matt also shares his experiences of growing up with a depressed parent, how being the center of a parent’s world creates pressure and conflict, and how honesty and hanging in there together can bring healing to the relationship.


Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • The basics requirements of a therapeutic stance that promotes reflection, positive risk-taking, and change
  • Why therapy and parenting require a capacity for surprise, along with discipline 
  • How anxiety blocks coming from a stance of curiosity as therapists and parents
  • The challenge of balancing curiosity and honesty in relationships
  • How developing self-awareness of our internal competing interests builds agency to create change
  • How Matt’s parents modeled honesty and willingness to engage in conflict, even at the toughest times


Learn more about Dr. Matt Morrison:

Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Connect with Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Connect with Rob Galligan, PhD.:

]]> Establishing safety and trust is how we create connections and personal change, in therapy and in life. If we aren’t open to new experiences or perspectives, it’s a lot harder for any of us to get to all the good, gushy, connected stuff that helps us grow. 


Today, we're with our friend and colleague, Dr. Matt Morrison, who is the training director of Long Island University's Psychological Services Center. Matt brings his experience supervising student psychologists and joins us to talk about his work on the therapeutic stance (aka how to be as a therapist). We get into how discipline and discovery in the therapeutic relationship counteract anxiety and fear, how that connects with stepping out of self-fulfilling prophecies and allowing for surprise in parent-child relationships, and the advice we’d give to student and early-career therapists.


Matt also shares his experiences of growing up with a depressed parent, how being the center of a parent’s world creates pressure and conflict, and how honesty and hanging in there together can bring healing to the relationship.


Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • The basics requirements of a therapeutic stance that promotes reflection, positive risk-taking, and change
  • Why therapy and parenting require a capacity for surprise, along with discipline 
  • How anxiety blocks coming from a stance of curiosity as therapists and parents
  • The challenge of balancing curiosity and honesty in relationships
  • How developing self-awareness of our internal competing interests builds agency to create change
  • How Matt’s parents modeled honesty and willingness to engage in conflict, even at the toughest times


Learn more about Dr. Matt Morrison:

Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Connect with Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Connect with Rob Galligan, PhD.:

]]> Thu, 09 Apr 2026 03:00:00 -0700 Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan 3986 Establishing safety and trust is how we create connections and personal change, in therapy and in life. If we aren’t open to new experiences or perspectives, it’s a lot harder for any of us to get to all the good, gushy, connected stuff that helps us grow. 


Today, we're with our friend and colleague, Dr. Matt Morrison, who is the training director of Long Island University's Psychological Services Center. Matt brings his experience supervising student psychologists and joins us to talk about his work on the therapeutic stance (aka how to be as a therapist). We get into how discipline and discovery in the therapeutic relationship counteract anxiety and fear, how that connects with stepping out of self-fulfilling prophecies and allowing for surprise in parent-child relationships, and the advice we’d give to student and early-career therapists.


Matt also shares his experiences of growing up with a depressed parent, how being the center of a parent’s world creates pressure and conflict, and how honesty and hanging in there together can bring healing to the relationship.


Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • The basics requirements of a therapeutic stance that promotes reflection, positive risk-taking, and change
  • Why therapy and parenting require a capacity for surprise, along with discipline 
  • How anxiety blocks coming from a stance of curiosity as therapists and parents
  • The challenge of balancing curiosity and honesty in relationships
  • How developing self-awareness of our internal competing interests builds agency to create change
  • How Matt’s parents modeled honesty and willingness to engage in conflict, even at the toughest times


Learn more about Dr. Matt Morrison:

Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Connect with Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Connect with Rob Galligan, PhD.:

]]> child development, parenting, clinical psychology, childhood psychology, family dynamics, developmental psychology, mental health No Ep 07 - Getting the Grown Ups to Listen: Bradley Tusk on What Really Matters in Parenting and Politics 7 7 Ep 07 - Getting the Grown Ups to Listen: Bradley Tusk on What Really Matters in Parenting and Politics full b48cf2cb-dc45-45da-9020-baf77ea4462a https://share.transistor.fm/s/e88e743d Ask any activist or philanthropist why they do what they do, and they’ll likely have a story about why they care so deeply about their causes. Sometimes those stories go even deeper than they consciously realize.


Today’s guest, Bradley Tusk, philanthropist, venture capitalist, author, and one of Rob’s dearest friends, is committed to ending childhood hunger and saving democracy through mobile voting. Our conversation delves into progressive politics and the tensions that can exist between implementing policy and lived realities, especially in schools. 


And while it does get heated, we ultimately uncover a deeper, more vulnerable understanding of the parts of Bradley’s story that motivate him to do this work. Per usual, it comes back to childhood.

 

Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • What working in city and state government in his 20s taught Bradley about tangible impacts and the psychology of politicians
  • How social inadequacy, superiority, and othering show up across the political spectrum
  • The challenges Bradley sees to government that more effectively and equitably serves its constituents
  • The tension between the needs of students and the needs of teachers and administrators in educational policy and funding
  • Breaking down the roots of Bradley’s intense motivation to put children first, politically and personally   
  • How mobile voting could bring real constituent accountability to politics


Learn more about Bradley Tusk:


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Connect with Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Connect with Rob Galligan, PhD.:


Resources:

]]> Ask any activist or philanthropist why they do what they do, and they’ll likely have a story about why they care so deeply about their causes. Sometimes those stories go even deeper than they consciously realize.


Today’s guest, Bradley Tusk, philanthropist, venture capitalist, author, and one of Rob’s dearest friends, is committed to ending childhood hunger and saving democracy through mobile voting. Our conversation delves into progressive politics and the tensions that can exist between implementing policy and lived realities, especially in schools. 


And while it does get heated, we ultimately uncover a deeper, more vulnerable understanding of the parts of Bradley’s story that motivate him to do this work. Per usual, it comes back to childhood.

 

Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • What working in city and state government in his 20s taught Bradley about tangible impacts and the psychology of politicians
  • How social inadequacy, superiority, and othering show up across the political spectrum
  • The challenges Bradley sees to government that more effectively and equitably serves its constituents
  • The tension between the needs of students and the needs of teachers and administrators in educational policy and funding
  • Breaking down the roots of Bradley’s intense motivation to put children first, politically and personally   
  • How mobile voting could bring real constituent accountability to politics


Learn more about Bradley Tusk:


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Connect with Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Connect with Rob Galligan, PhD.:


Resources:

]]> Thu, 26 Mar 2026 03:00:00 -0700 Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan 4053 Ask any activist or philanthropist why they do what they do, and they’ll likely have a story about why they care so deeply about their causes. Sometimes those stories go even deeper than they consciously realize.


Today’s guest, Bradley Tusk, philanthropist, venture capitalist, author, and one of Rob’s dearest friends, is committed to ending childhood hunger and saving democracy through mobile voting. Our conversation delves into progressive politics and the tensions that can exist between implementing policy and lived realities, especially in schools. 


And while it does get heated, we ultimately uncover a deeper, more vulnerable understanding of the parts of Bradley’s story that motivate him to do this work. Per usual, it comes back to childhood.

 

Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • What working in city and state government in his 20s taught Bradley about tangible impacts and the psychology of politicians
  • How social inadequacy, superiority, and othering show up across the political spectrum
  • The challenges Bradley sees to government that more effectively and equitably serves its constituents
  • The tension between the needs of students and the needs of teachers and administrators in educational policy and funding
  • Breaking down the roots of Bradley’s intense motivation to put children first, politically and personally   
  • How mobile voting could bring real constituent accountability to politics


Learn more about Bradley Tusk:


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Connect with Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Connect with Rob Galligan, PhD.:


Resources:

]]> child development, parenting, clinical psychology, childhood psychology, family dynamics, developmental psychology, mental health No Ep 06 - Trickle Up! Ron Williams on Purpose, Legacy, and Spreading Abundance 6 6 Ep 06 - Trickle Up! Ron Williams on Purpose, Legacy, and Spreading Abundance full 77d6df61-2770-4e21-863a-d7cb9e0f424a https://share.transistor.fm/s/58951c02 Survival brain impacts the way we parent, and in many ways, it’s the bedrock of our cultural myths. A survival mindset frames the world as a zero-sum game where we have to fight each other for resources. In this model, individualism and pulling yourself up by your bootstraps are the only ways to succeed, and are equated with moral goodness.

We see the impacts of survival-based thinking all around us. People seek external, material markers of status and success that have them always reaching for the next thing and, therefore, never reaching satisfaction.

Our guest today is Ron Williams, a venture builder, systems thinker, and Gillian's bestie.  Ron’s big idea – that there is enough for all of us and we’re in this together –asks us to rethink our metrics for success to create positive change for individuals and communities. We talk about evolutionary and psychological underpinnings of selfishness and empathy, and swapping out greed with social good.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • How zero-sum, short-term thinking contributes to social instability and unsatisfying lifestyles
  • Why leaning too hard on one survival strategy often backfires, whether in parenting or in business 
  • How the relentless pursuit of money, status, and power breaks down capacities for empathy and connection
  • What it takes to shift the narratives about wealth and status and inspire people to think collectively
  • How Ron’s early exposure to both possibility and inequality in America shaped the ways he questions our systems, and informs how he parents

Learn more about Ron Williams:


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Connect with Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Connect with Rob Galligan, PhD.:

]]> Survival brain impacts the way we parent, and in many ways, it’s the bedrock of our cultural myths. A survival mindset frames the world as a zero-sum game where we have to fight each other for resources. In this model, individualism and pulling yourself up by your bootstraps are the only ways to succeed, and are equated with moral goodness.

We see the impacts of survival-based thinking all around us. People seek external, material markers of status and success that have them always reaching for the next thing and, therefore, never reaching satisfaction.

Our guest today is Ron Williams, a venture builder, systems thinker, and Gillian's bestie.  Ron’s big idea – that there is enough for all of us and we’re in this together –asks us to rethink our metrics for success to create positive change for individuals and communities. We talk about evolutionary and psychological underpinnings of selfishness and empathy, and swapping out greed with social good.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • How zero-sum, short-term thinking contributes to social instability and unsatisfying lifestyles
  • Why leaning too hard on one survival strategy often backfires, whether in parenting or in business 
  • How the relentless pursuit of money, status, and power breaks down capacities for empathy and connection
  • What it takes to shift the narratives about wealth and status and inspire people to think collectively
  • How Ron’s early exposure to both possibility and inequality in America shaped the ways he questions our systems, and informs how he parents

Learn more about Ron Williams:


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Connect with Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Connect with Rob Galligan, PhD.:

]]> Thu, 12 Mar 2026 03:00:00 -0700 Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan 3661 Survival brain impacts the way we parent, and in many ways, it’s the bedrock of our cultural myths. A survival mindset frames the world as a zero-sum game where we have to fight each other for resources. In this model, individualism and pulling yourself up by your bootstraps are the only ways to succeed, and are equated with moral goodness.

We see the impacts of survival-based thinking all around us. People seek external, material markers of status and success that have them always reaching for the next thing and, therefore, never reaching satisfaction.

Our guest today is Ron Williams, a venture builder, systems thinker, and Gillian's bestie.  Ron’s big idea – that there is enough for all of us and we’re in this together –asks us to rethink our metrics for success to create positive change for individuals and communities. We talk about evolutionary and psychological underpinnings of selfishness and empathy, and swapping out greed with social good.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • How zero-sum, short-term thinking contributes to social instability and unsatisfying lifestyles
  • Why leaning too hard on one survival strategy often backfires, whether in parenting or in business 
  • How the relentless pursuit of money, status, and power breaks down capacities for empathy and connection
  • What it takes to shift the narratives about wealth and status and inspire people to think collectively
  • How Ron’s early exposure to both possibility and inequality in America shaped the ways he questions our systems, and informs how he parents

Learn more about Ron Williams:


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Connect with Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Connect with Rob Galligan, PhD.:

]]> child development, parenting, clinical psychology, childhood psychology, family dynamics, developmental psychology, mental health No Ep 05 - Connection Is Survival: Parenting for the Loneliness Epidemic with James Ellis 5 5 Ep 05 - Connection Is Survival: Parenting for the Loneliness Epidemic with James Ellis full 59430866-626a-49b8-badf-8e7309fec843 https://share.transistor.fm/s/5f36d17e Human beings need connection. We’re social creatures. But we are increasingly isolated, lonely, and dissatisfied.


Today, we’re joined by our friend and colleague James Ellis, who’s here to help us understand the deep cultural roots and uniquely modern influences of our modern loneliness epidemic. This one goes beyond parenting as we dig into the ways our culture narrows our view of who can meet our emotional needs and has us chasing perfection in those relationships. 


We also get into why social skills and adaptability are just as–and maybe more–important as good grades for our kids’ futures. We also discuss how loneliness begets violence against the self and others. And of course, we can’t talk about the loneliness epidemic without talking about social media and pop psychology’s impacts on how we relate to each other.


Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • Three major factors that have reshaped the social landscape 
  • Why we avoid seeking connection, even when we know we want and need it
  • How our modern illusion of infinite choice turns us into perfection-seekers in relationships
  • Why we have to learn to tolerate disappointment from our loved ones, and how cultivating more close relationships helps
  • Why parents need to emphasize soft skills like flexibility, adaptability, and sociability in order to future-proof their kids 
  • How forging connections really does boil down to making the effort to show up, over and over again


Learn more about James Ellis, PhD:


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Connect with Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Connect with Rob Galligan, PhD.:


Resources:

]]> Human beings need connection. We’re social creatures. But we are increasingly isolated, lonely, and dissatisfied.


Today, we’re joined by our friend and colleague James Ellis, who’s here to help us understand the deep cultural roots and uniquely modern influences of our modern loneliness epidemic. This one goes beyond parenting as we dig into the ways our culture narrows our view of who can meet our emotional needs and has us chasing perfection in those relationships. 


We also get into why social skills and adaptability are just as–and maybe more–important as good grades for our kids’ futures. We also discuss how loneliness begets violence against the self and others. And of course, we can’t talk about the loneliness epidemic without talking about social media and pop psychology’s impacts on how we relate to each other.


Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • Three major factors that have reshaped the social landscape 
  • Why we avoid seeking connection, even when we know we want and need it
  • How our modern illusion of infinite choice turns us into perfection-seekers in relationships
  • Why we have to learn to tolerate disappointment from our loved ones, and how cultivating more close relationships helps
  • Why parents need to emphasize soft skills like flexibility, adaptability, and sociability in order to future-proof their kids 
  • How forging connections really does boil down to making the effort to show up, over and over again


Learn more about James Ellis, PhD:


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Connect with Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Connect with Rob Galligan, PhD.:


Resources:

]]> Thu, 26 Feb 2026 05:41:26 -0800 Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan 3867 Human beings need connection. We’re social creatures. But we are increasingly isolated, lonely, and dissatisfied.


Today, we’re joined by our friend and colleague James Ellis, who’s here to help us understand the deep cultural roots and uniquely modern influences of our modern loneliness epidemic. This one goes beyond parenting as we dig into the ways our culture narrows our view of who can meet our emotional needs and has us chasing perfection in those relationships. 


We also get into why social skills and adaptability are just as–and maybe more–important as good grades for our kids’ futures. We also discuss how loneliness begets violence against the self and others. And of course, we can’t talk about the loneliness epidemic without talking about social media and pop psychology’s impacts on how we relate to each other.


Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • Three major factors that have reshaped the social landscape 
  • Why we avoid seeking connection, even when we know we want and need it
  • How our modern illusion of infinite choice turns us into perfection-seekers in relationships
  • Why we have to learn to tolerate disappointment from our loved ones, and how cultivating more close relationships helps
  • Why parents need to emphasize soft skills like flexibility, adaptability, and sociability in order to future-proof their kids 
  • How forging connections really does boil down to making the effort to show up, over and over again


Learn more about James Ellis, PhD:


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Connect with Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Connect with Rob Galligan, PhD.:


Resources:

]]> child development, parenting, clinical psychology, childhood psychology, family dynamics, developmental psychology, mental health No Ep 04 - There's a Place for Everyone: Lauren Hough Williams on Inclusion for all Neurotypes, Family, and Dignified Risk 4 4 Ep 04 - There's a Place for Everyone: Lauren Hough Williams on Inclusion for all Neurotypes, Family, and Dignified Risk full 6e343d41-8110-45af-8b2b-d43707b0f289 https://share.transistor.fm/s/8bc169c7 How do you raise kids who approach the world with curiosity, compassion, and the drive to make their communities more supportive and inclusive?


Today, we’re talking to Gillian’s dear friend Lauren Hough Williams about how her childhood shaped her into an expert in building systems where everyone has a place. 


In this episode, we dig into how Lauren’s position as the eldest of five siblings helped to create her community mindset. We discuss the role of privilege and its attendant sense of safety in facilitating risk-taking. And, we learn how Lauren’s mom crafted a happy, chaotic home, all the while imparting wisdom and sly humor in equal measures. We also learn how professional experts in childhood become “experts” in their own home, winning some and losing some as we try to parent well and bring our professional knowledge into our parenting our own kids.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • How volunteer basketball games helped teenage Lauren recognize that inclusive environments benefit everyone
  • How Lauren’s family and early education modeled community orientation and compassion as core values
  • How Lauren’s parents created a supportive, safe environment inside the inherent chaos of a large family
  • What Lauren learned from her mom about letting go of perfectionism and urgency, and maintaining a sense of humor as a parent
  • Why Lauren’s professional life as an educator and coach doesn’t seamlessly integrate into her parenting


Learn more about Lauren Hough Williams:


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Connect with Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Connect with Rob Galligan, PhD.:

]]> How do you raise kids who approach the world with curiosity, compassion, and the drive to make their communities more supportive and inclusive?


Today, we’re talking to Gillian’s dear friend Lauren Hough Williams about how her childhood shaped her into an expert in building systems where everyone has a place. 


In this episode, we dig into how Lauren’s position as the eldest of five siblings helped to create her community mindset. We discuss the role of privilege and its attendant sense of safety in facilitating risk-taking. And, we learn how Lauren’s mom crafted a happy, chaotic home, all the while imparting wisdom and sly humor in equal measures. We also learn how professional experts in childhood become “experts” in their own home, winning some and losing some as we try to parent well and bring our professional knowledge into our parenting our own kids.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • How volunteer basketball games helped teenage Lauren recognize that inclusive environments benefit everyone
  • How Lauren’s family and early education modeled community orientation and compassion as core values
  • How Lauren’s parents created a supportive, safe environment inside the inherent chaos of a large family
  • What Lauren learned from her mom about letting go of perfectionism and urgency, and maintaining a sense of humor as a parent
  • Why Lauren’s professional life as an educator and coach doesn’t seamlessly integrate into her parenting


Learn more about Lauren Hough Williams:


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Connect with Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Connect with Rob Galligan, PhD.:

]]> Thu, 12 Feb 2026 03:00:00 -0800 Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan 3043 How do you raise kids who approach the world with curiosity, compassion, and the drive to make their communities more supportive and inclusive?


Today, we’re talking to Gillian’s dear friend Lauren Hough Williams about how her childhood shaped her into an expert in building systems where everyone has a place. 


In this episode, we dig into how Lauren’s position as the eldest of five siblings helped to create her community mindset. We discuss the role of privilege and its attendant sense of safety in facilitating risk-taking. And, we learn how Lauren’s mom crafted a happy, chaotic home, all the while imparting wisdom and sly humor in equal measures. We also learn how professional experts in childhood become “experts” in their own home, winning some and losing some as we try to parent well and bring our professional knowledge into our parenting our own kids.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • How volunteer basketball games helped teenage Lauren recognize that inclusive environments benefit everyone
  • How Lauren’s family and early education modeled community orientation and compassion as core values
  • How Lauren’s parents created a supportive, safe environment inside the inherent chaos of a large family
  • What Lauren learned from her mom about letting go of perfectionism and urgency, and maintaining a sense of humor as a parent
  • Why Lauren’s professional life as an educator and coach doesn’t seamlessly integrate into her parenting


Learn more about Lauren Hough Williams:


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Connect with Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Connect with Rob Galligan, PhD.:

]]> child development, parenting, clinical psychology, childhood psychology, family dynamics, developmental psychology, mental health No Ep 03 - “I’m Doing the Song!” Ash Diggs on Cat’s in the Cradle, Comedy, and Family 3 3 Ep 03 - “I’m Doing the Song!” Ash Diggs on Cat’s in the Cradle, Comedy, and Family full df7598ec-35a5-4aab-a2ee-f5ecb480fc54 https://share.transistor.fm/s/d93b72c2 Most parents set out with the best of intentions to prepare their children for the world. Of course, our actions and behaviors don’t always have the intended effect. Parenting is hard, and sometimes we screw up in ways that damage our kids and our relationships with them.


So what do we do with our parenting regrets?


Today, comedian Ash Diggs joins us to talk about the regret and repair in parent-child relationships, using the classic Harry Chapin tear-jerker “Cat’s in the Cradle” as our jumping-off point. We dig into why that song hits some of us so hard, how class and race impact parental survival brain, and the evolution of parent-child relationships when everyone is willing to look at themselves and try something new.


Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • How parents’ focus on achievement and stability can affect mental health and relationships
  • Why turning real-life pain into comedy can be a double-edged sword
  • How his parents’ willingness to engage in hard conversations has allowed their relationship to positively evolve
  • The not-so-simple relationship between material safety and psychological safety


Learn more about Ash Diggs:


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Connect with Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Connect with Rob Galligan, PhD.:


Resources:

]]> Most parents set out with the best of intentions to prepare their children for the world. Of course, our actions and behaviors don’t always have the intended effect. Parenting is hard, and sometimes we screw up in ways that damage our kids and our relationships with them.


So what do we do with our parenting regrets?


Today, comedian Ash Diggs joins us to talk about the regret and repair in parent-child relationships, using the classic Harry Chapin tear-jerker “Cat’s in the Cradle” as our jumping-off point. We dig into why that song hits some of us so hard, how class and race impact parental survival brain, and the evolution of parent-child relationships when everyone is willing to look at themselves and try something new.


Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • How parents’ focus on achievement and stability can affect mental health and relationships
  • Why turning real-life pain into comedy can be a double-edged sword
  • How his parents’ willingness to engage in hard conversations has allowed their relationship to positively evolve
  • The not-so-simple relationship between material safety and psychological safety


Learn more about Ash Diggs:


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Connect with Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Connect with Rob Galligan, PhD.:


Resources:

]]> Thu, 22 Jan 2026 00:01:00 -0800 Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan 3474 Most parents set out with the best of intentions to prepare their children for the world. Of course, our actions and behaviors don’t always have the intended effect. Parenting is hard, and sometimes we screw up in ways that damage our kids and our relationships with them.


So what do we do with our parenting regrets?


Today, comedian Ash Diggs joins us to talk about the regret and repair in parent-child relationships, using the classic Harry Chapin tear-jerker “Cat’s in the Cradle” as our jumping-off point. We dig into why that song hits some of us so hard, how class and race impact parental survival brain, and the evolution of parent-child relationships when everyone is willing to look at themselves and try something new.


Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • How parents’ focus on achievement and stability can affect mental health and relationships
  • Why turning real-life pain into comedy can be a double-edged sword
  • How his parents’ willingness to engage in hard conversations has allowed their relationship to positively evolve
  • The not-so-simple relationship between material safety and psychological safety


Learn more about Ash Diggs:


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Connect with Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Connect with Rob Galligan, PhD.:


Resources:

]]> child development, parenting, clinical psychology, childhood psychology, family dynamics, developmental psychology, mental health No Ep 02 - Help! My Survival Brain is Parenting My Kid 2 2 Ep 02 - Help! My Survival Brain is Parenting My Kid full 93071393-b85e-475e-83ff-7d504c097ed0 https://share.transistor.fm/s/b6186d92 Survival brain is a universal feature of parenting. When our inner cave person is activated, fear dominates, as we worry about our kid’s ability to survive a dangerous world. When survival brain comes online, everything is an emergency, our ability to think rationally is short-circuited, and molehills become mountains. As our brains quickly spiral, we imagine that the kid who isn’t doing his homework tonight will be doomed to a lifetime of failure and destitution. 


While the threat-mitigation behavior coded in our DNA helps us protect our offspring from the most dire threats, it prevents us from accessing the patience and perspective we need for everyday kid problems. Survival brain eats up our mental resources when activated, and once it’s firing we can’t get to our wiser mind no matter how hard we try.       


So what is a modern parent with a cave person brain supposed to do? How do we quiet the huge reactions we have to family problems that are big, but not dire? How do we know when a threat actually is dangerous enough to warrant an emergency response? How do we tame the survival brain so it will leave enough juice  to run our wisdom-centers? 


Today we’ll talk about how primal survival instincts operate for parents. We’ll talk about how survival brain drives parents’ actions and how kids’ mental health struggles are rooted in their need to feel safe. We will also discuss how therapy helps parents navigate through even the most difficult moments with their kids, including school refusal, substance abuse, and eating disorders.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • The way survival instincts block our ability to access higher-level thinking
  • How survival brain distorts reality, causes disproportionate reactions, and spreads to others
  • A reframe for shifting perspective and limiting scope to right here, right now
  • How therapy gives parents a space to speak the unspeakable, and how that disrupts unhealthy family dynamics 
  • The role of making sense of seemingly impossible situations, which enables new perspectives and opens up solutions to even the stickiest problems 
  • How talk therapy creates a foundation of safety and understanding that other modalities (like CBT and DBT) build on for comprehensive treatment plans
  • What parents can do when things are stable to support family regulation and wellbeing

Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Connect with Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Connect with Rob Galligan, PhD.:



]]> Survival brain is a universal feature of parenting. When our inner cave person is activated, fear dominates, as we worry about our kid’s ability to survive a dangerous world. When survival brain comes online, everything is an emergency, our ability to think rationally is short-circuited, and molehills become mountains. As our brains quickly spiral, we imagine that the kid who isn’t doing his homework tonight will be doomed to a lifetime of failure and destitution. 


While the threat-mitigation behavior coded in our DNA helps us protect our offspring from the most dire threats, it prevents us from accessing the patience and perspective we need for everyday kid problems. Survival brain eats up our mental resources when activated, and once it’s firing we can’t get to our wiser mind no matter how hard we try.       


So what is a modern parent with a cave person brain supposed to do? How do we quiet the huge reactions we have to family problems that are big, but not dire? How do we know when a threat actually is dangerous enough to warrant an emergency response? How do we tame the survival brain so it will leave enough juice  to run our wisdom-centers? 


Today we’ll talk about how primal survival instincts operate for parents. We’ll talk about how survival brain drives parents’ actions and how kids’ mental health struggles are rooted in their need to feel safe. We will also discuss how therapy helps parents navigate through even the most difficult moments with their kids, including school refusal, substance abuse, and eating disorders.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • The way survival instincts block our ability to access higher-level thinking
  • How survival brain distorts reality, causes disproportionate reactions, and spreads to others
  • A reframe for shifting perspective and limiting scope to right here, right now
  • How therapy gives parents a space to speak the unspeakable, and how that disrupts unhealthy family dynamics 
  • The role of making sense of seemingly impossible situations, which enables new perspectives and opens up solutions to even the stickiest problems 
  • How talk therapy creates a foundation of safety and understanding that other modalities (like CBT and DBT) build on for comprehensive treatment plans
  • What parents can do when things are stable to support family regulation and wellbeing

Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Connect with Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Connect with Rob Galligan, PhD.:



]]> Thu, 08 Jan 2026 03:01:00 -0800 Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan 3142 Survival brain is a universal feature of parenting. When our inner cave person is activated, fear dominates, as we worry about our kid’s ability to survive a dangerous world. When survival brain comes online, everything is an emergency, our ability to think rationally is short-circuited, and molehills become mountains. As our brains quickly spiral, we imagine that the kid who isn’t doing his homework tonight will be doomed to a lifetime of failure and destitution. 


While the threat-mitigation behavior coded in our DNA helps us protect our offspring from the most dire threats, it prevents us from accessing the patience and perspective we need for everyday kid problems. Survival brain eats up our mental resources when activated, and once it’s firing we can’t get to our wiser mind no matter how hard we try.       


So what is a modern parent with a cave person brain supposed to do? How do we quiet the huge reactions we have to family problems that are big, but not dire? How do we know when a threat actually is dangerous enough to warrant an emergency response? How do we tame the survival brain so it will leave enough juice  to run our wisdom-centers? 


Today we’ll talk about how primal survival instincts operate for parents. We’ll talk about how survival brain drives parents’ actions and how kids’ mental health struggles are rooted in their need to feel safe. We will also discuss how therapy helps parents navigate through even the most difficult moments with their kids, including school refusal, substance abuse, and eating disorders.

Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • The way survival instincts block our ability to access higher-level thinking
  • How survival brain distorts reality, causes disproportionate reactions, and spreads to others
  • A reframe for shifting perspective and limiting scope to right here, right now
  • How therapy gives parents a space to speak the unspeakable, and how that disrupts unhealthy family dynamics 
  • The role of making sense of seemingly impossible situations, which enables new perspectives and opens up solutions to even the stickiest problems 
  • How talk therapy creates a foundation of safety and understanding that other modalities (like CBT and DBT) build on for comprehensive treatment plans
  • What parents can do when things are stable to support family regulation and wellbeing

Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Connect with Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Connect with Rob Galligan, PhD.:



]]> child development, parenting, clinical psychology, childhood psychology, family dynamics, developmental psychology, mental health No Ep 01 - Evolving Every Day: How Parenting Transforms Us 1 1 Ep 01 - Evolving Every Day: How Parenting Transforms Us full adb9f208-7339-43a1-8003-07db07d0f7e1 https://share.transistor.fm/s/bf21d51a If you came into our therapy rooms, we definitely would be asking you about your family of origin. It’s where it all starts.


As psychologists who work with families and who are currently raising kids, we’re obsessed with how childhood experiences impact caregiving, and how parenting transforms us. Where did our parents come from? How were they raised? How did they bring us up? And how do we parent our kids as a consequence of our family history? These are the questions that hold the key to what we do well and where we trip up as humans and as parents.


In today’s episode, we’re talking about our experiences of being kids, how forces like career and financial stability impact raising kids, what our kids have taught us “on the job,” and the role of grandparent energy in parenting.


Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • How social and cultural environments influence parenting norms, implicitly and explicitly
  • Our very different takes on being only children, and a commonality that bonded us
  • How experiencing survival mode as adults brought new context to our relationships with our parents
  • Why addressing the fears that activate survival brain is essential for being the kind of parents we want to be
  • Our biggest unlocks as parents, and where we still struggle with the pressure to be perfect


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Connect with Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Connect with Rob Galligan, PhD.:


Resources:

]]> If you came into our therapy rooms, we definitely would be asking you about your family of origin. It’s where it all starts.


As psychologists who work with families and who are currently raising kids, we’re obsessed with how childhood experiences impact caregiving, and how parenting transforms us. Where did our parents come from? How were they raised? How did they bring us up? And how do we parent our kids as a consequence of our family history? These are the questions that hold the key to what we do well and where we trip up as humans and as parents.


In today’s episode, we’re talking about our experiences of being kids, how forces like career and financial stability impact raising kids, what our kids have taught us “on the job,” and the role of grandparent energy in parenting.


Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • How social and cultural environments influence parenting norms, implicitly and explicitly
  • Our very different takes on being only children, and a commonality that bonded us
  • How experiencing survival mode as adults brought new context to our relationships with our parents
  • Why addressing the fears that activate survival brain is essential for being the kind of parents we want to be
  • Our biggest unlocks as parents, and where we still struggle with the pressure to be perfect


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Connect with Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Connect with Rob Galligan, PhD.:


Resources:

]]> Thu, 08 Jan 2026 03:00:00 -0800 Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan 3506 If you came into our therapy rooms, we definitely would be asking you about your family of origin. It’s where it all starts.


As psychologists who work with families and who are currently raising kids, we’re obsessed with how childhood experiences impact caregiving, and how parenting transforms us. Where did our parents come from? How were they raised? How did they bring us up? And how do we parent our kids as a consequence of our family history? These are the questions that hold the key to what we do well and where we trip up as humans and as parents.


In today’s episode, we’re talking about our experiences of being kids, how forces like career and financial stability impact raising kids, what our kids have taught us “on the job,” and the role of grandparent energy in parenting.


Listen to the full episode to hear:

  • How social and cultural environments influence parenting norms, implicitly and explicitly
  • Our very different takes on being only children, and a commonality that bonded us
  • How experiencing survival mode as adults brought new context to our relationships with our parents
  • Why addressing the fears that activate survival brain is essential for being the kind of parents we want to be
  • Our biggest unlocks as parents, and where we still struggle with the pressure to be perfect


Learn more about I Hate You. What’s For Dinner?


Connect with Gillian Boudreau, PhD.:


Connect with Rob Galligan, PhD.:


Resources:

]]> child development, parenting, clinical psychology, childhood psychology, family dynamics, developmental psychology, mental health No Introducing I Hate You. What's For Dinner? Introducing I Hate You. What's For Dinner? trailer 8600b510-3dfb-4109-b230-982472661e5b https://share.transistor.fm/s/2d81ce94
Your kid slams his bedroom door in your face, and five minutes later, he's giving you puppy eyes asking for a snack. Why is he like that?

On I Hate You. What's For Dinner?, we explore whether childhood explains everything.

We're Gillian Boudreau and Rob Galligan—two clinical psychologists in private practice who met in our psych PhD program a couple decades ago. Since then, we've been mulling over what hurts and what heals in people. As psychologists who work with kids and families, we're constantly mining childhoods past for memories and clues.

We'll be featuring guests who are musicians, comedians, entrepreneurs, therapists, and writers. Each episode asks: Who were you when you were little, and how has that made you who you are now?

The psychoanalytic theory, neuroscience, and developmental psychology we studied in grad school often feel like the secret decoder ring to people's toughest problems. These everyday struggles often come down to what we want the most and what we're most afraid of.

We'll ask our biggest questions about the love and hate, the rage and fear, and the awesome and mundane that all get smushed together when we're growing up.

Tune in to make better sense of childhood, parenthood, and life in general.

***

Follow or subscribe to I Hate You. What's For Dinner? wherever you get podcasts.

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Your kid slams his bedroom door in your face, and five minutes later, he's giving you puppy eyes asking for a snack. Why is he like that?

On I Hate You. What's For Dinner?, we explore whether childhood explains everything.

We're Gillian Boudreau and Rob Galligan—two clinical psychologists in private practice who met in our psych PhD program a couple decades ago. Since then, we've been mulling over what hurts and what heals in people. As psychologists who work with kids and families, we're constantly mining childhoods past for memories and clues.

We'll be featuring guests who are musicians, comedians, entrepreneurs, therapists, and writers. Each episode asks: Who were you when you were little, and how has that made you who you are now?

The psychoanalytic theory, neuroscience, and developmental psychology we studied in grad school often feel like the secret decoder ring to people's toughest problems. These everyday struggles often come down to what we want the most and what we're most afraid of.

We'll ask our biggest questions about the love and hate, the rage and fear, and the awesome and mundane that all get smushed together when we're growing up.

Tune in to make better sense of childhood, parenthood, and life in general.

***

Follow or subscribe to I Hate You. What's For Dinner? wherever you get podcasts.

]]> Fri, 24 Oct 2025 07:32:31 -0700 Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan Gillian Boudreau & Rob Galligan 125
Your kid slams his bedroom door in your face, and five minutes later, he's giving you puppy eyes asking for a snack. Why is he like that?

On I Hate You. What's For Dinner?, we explore whether childhood explains everything.

We're Gillian Boudreau and Rob Galligan—two clinical psychologists in private practice who met in our psych PhD program a couple decades ago. Since then, we've been mulling over what hurts and what heals in people. As psychologists who work with kids and families, we're constantly mining childhoods past for memories and clues.

We'll be featuring guests who are musicians, comedians, entrepreneurs, therapists, and writers. Each episode asks: Who were you when you were little, and how has that made you who you are now?

The psychoanalytic theory, neuroscience, and developmental psychology we studied in grad school often feel like the secret decoder ring to people's toughest problems. These everyday struggles often come down to what we want the most and what we're most afraid of.

We'll ask our biggest questions about the love and hate, the rage and fear, and the awesome and mundane that all get smushed together when we're growing up.

Tune in to make better sense of childhood, parenthood, and life in general.

***

Follow or subscribe to I Hate You. What's For Dinner? wherever you get podcasts.

]]> child development, parenting, clinical psychology, childhood psychology, family dynamics, developmental psychology, mental health No