How to live

Nostalgia

How to Live — Sun, 22 Feb 2026 04:59:12 -0500

In this episode, Kunal returns to Sydney and discovers that the nostalgia he felt wasn't about the place at all—it was about who he was when he lived there. Through uncomfortable Airbnbs, expensive breakfasts, and the contrast between memory and reality, he uncovers a powerful truth about how we carry our own magic wherever we go. Key takeaways: - The joy we associate with past places often belongs to who we were, not where we were - We're constantly changing, which means our relationship to memories and places evolves too - The qualities that made past experiences meaningful—curiosity, openness, wonder—can be accessed anywhere Subscribe to How to Live wherever you listen to podcasts and visit howtolive.blog for more reflections on living intentionally. Timestamps: (0:30) The visceral experience of returning to Sydney (1:20) When nostalgia meets uncomfortable reality (2:45) What made Sydney special the first time (4:10) The mechanics of memory and attachment (5:25) The realization: the magic was in who he was (6:40) Navigating constant change and letting go of past versions (8:15) Accessing those qualities without returning to the place (9:20) Building resilience through self-awareness

The Concert

How to Live — Sun, 15 Feb 2026 06:25:52 -0500

In this episode, Kunal shares a surprising discovery: his most profound meditation experience happened not in his carefully curated meditation space, but in a plastic chair at an Ed Sheeran concert, surrounded by 70,000 people and eating potato chips. Key takeaways: - The infrastructure we build around presence—perfect conditions, quiet rooms, ideal timing—can become a form of control rather than support - When all exits close (no phone signal, nowhere to go, sound too loud to think), presence becomes effortless rather than something to achieve - We're already present; the real question is why we keep choosing to leave the moment we're in Subscribe to How to Live wherever you listen to podcasts and visit howtolive.blog for more insights on finding presence in unexpected places. Timestamps: (0:15) Introduction and the unexpected meditation at a concert (1:20) The infrastructure built around meditation practice over ten years (2:35) When perfect conditions become a form of control (3:45) How the exits closed—no phone signal, nowhere to go (5:10) The monastery and the concert: two different doors, same room (6:25) When volume becomes a kind of silence (7:40) Solitude in a crowd of 70,000 people (8:50) Stop choosing not to be present (9:45) Closing thoughts on infrastructure and presence

Postcard

How to Live — Fri, 13 Feb 2026 12:47:52 -0500

In this episode, Kunal shares how four years of living with a stunning Lisbon view taught him that postcards stop being postcards when they become your everyday reality—and why the discomfort of difference might be exactly what helps us see beauty again. Key takeaways: - The extraordinary becomes ordinary without contrast—appreciation requires fresh eyes and comparison to maintain perspective - Difference usually registers as discomfort, but it serves a hidden purpose: revealing what we've stopped noticing in our familiar lives - Inviting visitors into your space lets you borrow their wonder and rediscover the postcards you've been living inside all along Subscribe to How to Live wherever you listen to podcasts and visit howtolive.blog to read the full essay and explore more reflections on seeing your life with fresh eyes. Timestamps: (0:15) Introduction and returning to Lisbon winter sunrises (1:05) The invisible building and postcard view (2:20) When extraordinary becomes ordinary (3:30) Why contrast is essential for appreciation (4:45) Learning to see discomfort as a mirror (6:15) Borrowing visitors' fresh eyes as practice (7:30) Expectation, disappointment, and gratitude (8:50) The practice of seeing what's actually here

One Word For 2026

How to Live — Sun, 11 Jan 2026 04:22:40 -0500

In this episode, Kunal shares why he abandoned traditional goal-setting in favor of choosing a single word to guide his entire year. Speaking from Lisbon after reviewing his journals, he reveals how this practice shifted him from efficiency to effectiveness—from moving fast to moving in the right direction. Key takeaways: - Efficiency and effectiveness aren't the same: goals can make you move quickly toward things that don't actually matter - We control the "how" not the "what": your one word becomes a compass for the hundreds of daily decisions that compose your life - Leverage means focusing energy wisely: as we gain experience and lose youthful stamina, working smarter beats working harder Subscribe to How to Live wherever you listen to podcasts and visit howtolive.blog to read the full essay and discover Kunal's complete reflection on choosing "leverage" for 2026. Timestamps: (0:15) Introduction and the journal review ritual (1:10) Why goals create efficiency but not effectiveness (2:20) The one thing we actually control: the "how" (3:35) How a one-word intention serves you instead of the reverse (4:45) Last year's word "inspire" and learning to say no (6:10) The word "flow" and surrendering control of outcomes (7:25) Introducing 2026's word: "leverage" (8:15) The sleep insight that sparked everything (9:30) Evolution from adequate at many things to excellent at few (10:45) Working smarter with limited energy and greater wisdom

How to Become

Kunal Gupta — Sun, 11 May 2025 13:14:38 -0400

On this Mother’s Day and her milestone birthday, I reflect on my mother, now living far away. Distance has allowed me to see her in a new light, recognizing her beyond just "Mom"—as a person with quiet strength and sacrifices unseen. As I've grown, her influence has become more apparent in my actions and instincts, showcasing how deeply she shaped me. I’ve learned that gratitude isn't just expressed in words, but in embodying the values she instilled in me. This realization has brought me closer to her, leading me to understand that to honor her is to become a reflection of her love and lessons.

How to Blackout

Kunal Gupta — Tue, 06 May 2025 14:47:28 -0400

The author recounts a blackout experienced with their partner, contrasting it with a previous mild outage. Initially surprised and disconnected from the digital world, they gradually embraced the stillness by engaging in spontaneous cleaning and meaningful conversations. This disconnection from technology led to a deeper connection with each other. The blackout became an unexpected source of joy and intimacy, highlighting the value of being present without distractions. The experience prompted them to recognize the importance of intentional disconnection from daily life to foster connection and mindfulness, echoing practices from various cultures that prioritize moments of silence and retreat.

How to Start

Kunal Gupta — Mon, 28 Apr 2025 11:45:23 -0400

The author reflects on the psychological barriers that can make seemingly simple tasks feel overwhelming, using the example of refreshing their AI newsletter website. Despite believing it would be a quick task, cognitive load—stemming from decision-making, expectations, and perfectionism—made the task feel heavy. They eventually found the determination to start while on a flight and completed the refresh in under an hour, realizing that resistance often arises from a protective instinct rather than laziness. The piece emphasizes the importance of understanding when to push through resistance and how to make starting feel easier by reducing cognitive load, sharing burdens, and cultivating self-compassion.

How to Anything

Kunal Gupta — Tue, 22 Apr 2025 13:07:12 -0400

The author reflects on the belief that anything is possible but acknowledges the pitfalls of trying to do everything. This approach led to superficial involvement in many areas, causing confusion about their true purpose. Over time, they realized that effective tradeoffs are essential, teaching that prioritizing focus is a strength, not a weakness. While societal pressures encourage constant expansion and saying yes, the author now values intentional choices and clarity over urgency. Ultimately, they embrace the idea that while they can do anything, true progress comes from making deliberate choices about what to pursue, creating space for growth and deeper engagement.

How to Learn

Kunal Gupta — Mon, 21 Apr 2025 10:05:08 -0400

After giving a talk on AI trends, the author was approached by a university student eager to learn AI. The student shared his efforts in online courses and projects, demonstrating genuine enthusiasm for learning, which prompted the author to reflect on his own learning journey. He recalled the joy of exploring and failing freely as a child, contrasting it with the goal-oriented, linear learning he experienced in adulthood. The author emphasized the importance of embracing learning as an experiential journey rather than a means to an end, encouraging the student to keep creating and experimenting for the sake of curiosity, not just for potential success or monetization. This encounter served as a reminder for the author to reconnect with the playful, instinctive nature of learning he once had.

How to Write

Kunal Gupta — Mon, 21 Apr 2025 09:56:41 -0400

The author reflects on the question of how to write effectively, moving beyond the common advice of "just start." They reveal that writing has been a significant form of self-expression for them, taking various forms like blog posts, personal notes, and journal entries. They point out that writing should be a personal journey rather than a task for grades, and that the pressure to produce perfect work can stifle creativity. The real challenge lies in thinking and feeling deeply about one's ideas before writing. The author emphasizes the importance of creating mental space—through solitude or reflection—to cultivate insights, leading to effortless writing. Ultimately, they conclude that effective writing begins with making space to think, listen, and feel, as the words are already within.

How to Make Friends

Kunal Gupta — Sat, 05 Apr 2025 12:10:35 -0400

Making friends as an adult is a complex process that requires introspection, intentionality, and consistent effort. It starts with a decision to prioritize friendship, viewing it as essential rather than a luxury. Adult life often feels isolating due to remote work and diminishing spontaneous interactions, so individuals must actively create opportunities for connection. This involves stepping out of comfort zones, showing vulnerability, and accepting that initial efforts may feel awkward or challenging. Over time, relationships can gain momentum, transforming into meaningful connections characterized by authenticity and support. Ultimately, genuine friendships contribute significantly to individual well-being, underscoring their importance in a fulfilling life.