Ex-it Strategy

Perinatal Mental Health: Understanding and Support With Veronica Kemeny

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 19 May 2026 04:00:00 -0400

Elizabeth Stevenson and Sarah J. Hink of New Direction Family Law, joined by associate attorney Tyler E. Kaestner, interview Veronica Kemeny, a licensed clinical social worker and co-owner of Anchor Perinatal Wellness in Raleigh, during Maternal Mental Health Awareness Month. They discuss perinatal mental health as an inclusive term covering trying to conceive, pregnancy, postpartum (up to two years), and non-birthing partners, and review conditions including depression, anxiety, OCD, PTSD, bipolar disorder, and psychosis. Kemeny explains warning signs such as impaired functioning and inability to sleep when given the chance, normalizes intrusive thoughts, and emphasizes the importance of trained providers due to stigma and misinterpretation. The conversation covers risk factors, medication concerns, impacts on relationships and divorce/custody cases, and resources like Postpartum Support International, nurse visiting programs, UNC’s perinatal inpatient unit, and Anchor’s intensive program, teletherapy, childcare, and free walk-in maternal mental health clinic at anchorperinatal.com.

00:00 UNC Perinatal Units

00:43 Meet the Guests

01:40 Veronica and Anchor Program

03:16 What Perinatal Mental Health Means

04:36 When Symptoms Become Serious

05:51 Red Flags Sleep and Safety

07:20 Intrusive Thoughts and Stigma

10:56 Screening and Provider Gaps

12:23 Risk Factors and Prevention

15:29 Resources Programs and Medication

17:36 Social Media Comparison Trap

17:52 Finding Realistic Support

18:54 Marriage Strain After Baby

19:22 Teamwork and Self Care Plan

22:17 Sleep Boundaries and Visitors

24:28 When to Seek Treatment

25:44 Divorce and Custody Bias

29:07 Free Nurse Visiting Programs

30:25 How to Get Help

31:42 Final Takeaways

The Complexities of Co-Parenting: A Legal Perspective

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 21 Apr 2026 04:00:00 -0400

Attorneys Sarah Hink and Elizabeth Stevenson return from a hiatus on the Exit Strategy podcast to discuss why custody is often the hardest part of divorce and separation, including the emotional challenge of sharing time with children. They explain that in the North Carolina counties where they practice, courts often start from a 50/50 assumption tied to the child’s best interests and a relationship with both parents, then look for reasons to deviate such as domestic violence, substance abuse, mental health concerns, lack of involvement, or inconsistency. They cover tools like temporary arrangements, tiered custody schedules with treatment requirements, reunification therapy, custody/parent fitness evaluations, guardians ad litem, parent coordinators, and parallel parenting. They warn against false abuse claims, alienation, and putting children in the middle, noting records can follow families and even be found online later.

00:00 Welcome Back Intro

00:20 Why Custody Gets Heated

00:43 Facing 50 50 Reality

01:57 Courts Start at 50 50

02:40 Give Them a Chance

03:32 Custody Can Change

04:00 Tiered Plans and Reunification

05:35 Evaluations and Expert Help

06:55 Parallel Parenting Tools

07:31 Kids Feel the Conflict

08:57 Legal Custody Decision Making

09:42 Third Parties Can Sue

10:11 Domestic Violence Impact

11:10 False Claims Backfire

11:56 Online Records and Kids Testifying

13:23 Parental Alienation Consequences

14:08 Honesty and Realistic Outcomes

16:08 Wrap Up and Final Thoughts

Divorce Decisions: Understanding North Carolina's Property Division

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 14 Apr 2026 04:00:00 -0400

Family law attorneys Sarah Hink and Elizabeth Stevenson of New Direction Family Law discuss North Carolina equitable distribution in divorce, emphasizing that most marital property and debt acquired from the date of marriage to the date of separation is typically divided 50/50, regardless of whose name it’s in, with values generally set as of separation. They explain separate property carve-outs (inheritances kept separate, premarital retirement/house interests) and when debts may be treated as separate (not benefiting the marriage). They warn against trying to manipulate accounts or incurring debt right before separation, and note most cases settle in required mediation if parties avoid “nickel-and-diming” personal property. They also highlight practical issues with houses, refinancing, credit risk, and the need to address property claims before an absolute divorce, which can waive equitable distribution rights.

00:00 Mediation Pitfalls

00:35 Meet the Attorneys

00:57 Equitable Distribution Basics

02:01 Marital Property Freeze Frame

02:33 Unequal Splits and Misconduct

03:44 Separate Property Exceptions

05:02 Messy Assets and Businesses

05:44 DIY Agreements and Prenups

06:41 Pets and Personal Property

07:17 Mediation and Nickel Dime Fights

09:39 Home Values and Letting Go

11:32 Debt Division and Credit Risks

14:06 Bankruptcy and Final Warnings

Divorce Survival Guide: Common Mistakes to Avoid

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 07 Apr 2026 05:00:00 -0400

Family law attorneys Elizabeth Stevenson and Sarah Hink of New Direction Family Law discuss common mistakes people make during separation and divorce, emphasizing that emotions can lead to regrettable decisions. They warn that social media posts, texts, DMs, and even posts by friends or family can be used in court, and note North Carolina is a one-party consent state where conversations may be legally recorded if the recorder is a participant. They advise clients to follow attorney guidance, timely provide required financial and other documents, and avoid hiding information. They caution against relying on “Google law degrees” or AI-generated content, which can be inaccurate and costly to review. They also stress avoiding reckless behavior (partying, DUIs), maintaining credibility with the judge, and being honest about finances and other issues.

00:00 One Party Consent Warning

00:35 Meet The Divorce Attorneys

01:12 Social Media Can Sink You

02:10 Texts DMs And Friends

04:02 Recording Rules Explained

04:41 Follow Legal Advice And Disclose

05:39 Bad Advice And AI Pitfalls

07:17 Reckless Behavior And Custody

09:11 Honesty And Credibility In Court

11:24 Money Mistakes And Hidden Assets

12:16 Wrap Up Key Takeaways

13:06 Final Sign Off

38 Billion and a Monkey

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 07 Oct 2025 04:00:00 -0400

High-Profile Celebrity Breakups & Legal Drama are making headlines. From romantic entanglements like Travis Kelsey and Taylor Swift to legal battles such as the Coldplay Kiss Cam scandal and the divorce of Jeff Bezos, this episode grants an insider look into the legal ramifications of celebrity relationships. Get expert insights on prenups, custody battles, and much more. Also, tune in for a healthy dose of humor involving pet monkeys. Don't miss out on this informative and entertaining episode.

00:00 Introduction and Team Setup
00:43 Family Law in the Headlines: The Coldplay Kiss Cam Incident
05:14 Celebrity Relationships: Travis Kelsey and Taylor Swift
08:54 Courtney Thorne-Smith's Divorce
11:50 Ryan Lochte's Custody Battle
16:13 Jamie King and Kyle Newman's Unusual Custody Case
17:01 Custody and Legal Decisions
17:38 Supervised Visits and Drug Problems
17:50 Understanding Shared Legal Custody
18:50 Nightmares of Custody Orders
19:40 Third-Party Decision Makers
20:16 Celebrity Relationships and Prenups
25:36 Kanye West's Controversial Actions
27:41 Real Housewives Drama
31:04 Cardi B and Offset's Public Disputes
33:28 Jeff Bezos' Massive Alimony
35:09 Concluding Thoughts and Monkeys

------ To contact us visit https://newdirectionfamilylaw.com/contact-us-today/

Understanding Parentage: Establishing & Disestablishing

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 23 Sep 2025 04:00:00 -0400

New Direction Family Law layers and staff discuss the complexities around parentage. They cover the process of establishing and disestablishing parentage, the legal implications, and the need for paternity actions. The team also explores issues related to legitimation actions, the legal challenges of changing a child's surname, and the complications that arise within same-sex parent families. Tune in for an informative discussion about the legal intricacies of parentage and the importance of having an attorney navigate these complicated matters.

00:00 Introduction and Team Introduction
00:36 Understanding Parentage: Establishing and Disestablishing
01:10 Affidavit of Parentage: Hospital Procedures
01:52 Paternity Tests and Legal Actions
02:43 Legitimation Actions: Replacing the Wrong Dad
03:36 Legal Implications of Birth Certificates
05:30 Disestablishment of Paternity: Legal Steps
07:41 Changing the Child's Surname
10:52 Complexities in Same-Sex Parentage
12:26 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

------ To contact us visit https://newdirectionfamilylaw.com/contact-us-today/

Alienation of Affection and Criminal Conversation in North Carolina

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 09 Sep 2025 04:00:00 -0400

We unpack the complex and often controversial legal topics of Alienation of Affection and Criminal Conversation. They discuss the nuances, historical context, and practical implications of these laws, which are still recognized in a few states, including North Carolina. The conversation includes real-life cases, the pros and cons of pursuing such lawsuits, and the potential impacts on all parties involved.

00:00 Introduction and Team Introduction
01:01 Introducing the Topic: Alienation and Criminal Conversation
01:33 Matt's Experience with Alienation Cases
02:16 Legal Nuances and Publicity of Cases
04:43 Breaking Down Alienation and Criminal Conversation
05:50 Defenses and Legal Strategies
07:20 Damages and Case Examples
08:49 Challenges and Considerations in Pursuing Cases
12:53 Mother-in-Law Drama
13:34 Alienation of Affection Law
13:54 Constitutional Concerns
15:41 Jurisdiction Issues
18:18 Office Affairs
21:12 Connivance and Framing

------ To contact us visit https://newdirectionfamilylaw.com/contact-us-today/

Preparing for Court: The Do's and Don'ts

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 19 Aug 2025 04:00:00 -0400

Join lizabeth A. Stephenson and Sarah J. Hink from New Direction Family Law as they delve into crucial insights for clients preparing to testify in family court. Alongside Cam, their coordinator, they discuss the intricacies of courtroom procedures, the importance of honest and concise testimony, and how to handle cross-examinations and character witnesses. From what to wear to how to manage your emotions, gain valuable advice on presenting yourself effectively in court. Whether it's a custody case, financial disputes, or spousal support, this episode covers everything you need to know to navigate your court appearance with confidence.

00:00 Introduction to New Direction Family Law
00:57 Preparing Clients for Testimony
01:46 Courtroom Basics and Client Preparation
03:36 Direct and Cross-Examination Tips
06:46 Character and Expert Witnesses
09:54 Handling Emotions and Courtroom Etiquette
11:08 The Importance of Genuine Emotions in Court
11:23 Challenges Judges Face in Determining Credibility
11:51 Handling Lies and Perjury in Court
13:56 Using Text Messages and Emails as Evidence
15:52 The Dangers of Faking Evidence
17:16 Respecting Court Protocol and Behavior
17:46 Financial Testimonies and Document Familiarity
18:51 The Waiting Game for Court Rulings
19:49 Preparing for Cross-Examination
21:43 Character Witness Preparation

Navigating Custody Issues Across State Lines

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 05 Aug 2025 04:00:00 -0400

Our hosts discuss the complexities of handling custody issues when co-parents live in different states. They delve into the legalities, jurisdiction matters, and real-life scenarios including military families and interstate relocations. The conversation highlights the importance of understanding state laws, getting court permissions, and the potential emotional and financial impacts on the children and parents involved. They also provide practical advice on dealing with such situations, emphasizing the significance of consulting with an attorney before making any moves.

00:00 Introduction and Greetings
00:41 Custody Issues Across State Lines
00:57 Jurisdiction and Legal Complexities
01:02 Case Study: California to North Carolina
02:01 Challenges of Interstate Custody
03:12 Real-Life Examples and Scenarios
05:06 Impact on Children and Families
06:27 Personal Experiences and Insights
09:22 Judicial Decisions and Fairness
09:50 Financial Implications of Custody Arrangements
10:41 Navigating Child Support and Extraordinary Expenses
11:04 Relocation and Its Legal Implications
12:50 Getting Permission to Move: Legal Steps
13:35 Factors Judges Consider in Relocation Cases
15:44 Emergency Custody and Relocation Challenges
17:30 Co-Parenting and Relocation: Practical Advice
19:57 Consulting Attorneys Before Relocating
20:38 Final Thoughts on Relocation and Custody

The Millennial Marriage Epidemic: A Default Parent Dilemma

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 22 Jul 2025 04:00:00 -0400

In this insightful discussion, we talk about the growing phenomenon of 'default parent' divorces among millennial marriages. The episode explores the dynamics of household responsibilities, the emotional toll of being the default parent, and how this imbalance often leads to marital discord and eventually divorce. The hosts share personal anecdotes, client experiences, and offer practical advice on managing these challenges through better communication, therapy, and allowing mistakes to foster growth in co-parenting.

00:00 Introduction and Team Introduction
00:44 The Default Parent Epidemic
01:46 Impact on Relationships and Divorce
03:11 Gender Roles and Societal Expectations
04:40 Challenges in Co-Parenting Post-Divorce
12:39 Historical Context and Modern Dynamics
14:41 Advice and Solutions for Default Parents
17:06 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Estate Planning Meets Family Law: Generational Wealth & Trusts

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 13 May 2025 04:00:00 -0400

In this insightful discussion, Cameron, the Marketing and Business Development Manager at New Direction Family Law, and Elizabeth Stevenson, a partner at the firm, dive deep into the intricate intersection of estate planning and family law with Hampton Crumpler, an attorney at NC Planning. They explore the complexities of generational wealth, trusts, wills, and how these elements play crucial roles in divorce, custody battles, and property division. Key topics include the impact of prenuptial and postnuptial agreements, protecting assets for children from previous marriages, the importance of regularly updating estate plans, and understanding the differences between revocable and irrevocable trusts. Tune in to gain valuable insights into how smart estate planning can save time, money, and stress for your family.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction

00:57 Intersection of Estate Planning and Family Law

01:34 Prenups, Postnups, and Estate Planning

07:15 Trusts for Minor Children

10:15 Revocable vs. Irrevocable Trusts

12:26 Blended Families and Q-Tip Trusts

15:12 Importance of Having a Will

18:32 Inherited Property and Marital Assets

21:06 Tax Consequences of Inherited Money

21:30 Trusts and Taxation

22:22 Real Estate and Inheritance

23:47 Estate Planning and Separation Agreements

25:44 Gifts and Marital Property

27:09 Handling Property in Divorce

28:58 Importance of Estate Planning

31:53 Updating Estate Plans

33:02 Legal Representation in Divorce

34:49 Getting in Touch with an Estate Planning Attorney

37:17 Final Thoughts on Estate Planning

Tips for Choosing the Right Divorce Attorney

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 06 May 2025 04:00:00 -0400

In this episode, Elizabeth Stevenson and Ashley Oldham of New Direction Family Law discuss the crucial process of selecting the right divorce attorney. They cover essential steps such as the importance of initial consultations, building a trust-based relationship, understanding retainer fees, and ensuring transparent communication. They also emphasize the value of honesty and document organization in achieving the best legal outcomes. This episode provides valuable insights for anyone navigating the complexities of divorce.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome

00:31 Choosing the Right Attorney

01:30 Initial Consultation Importance

01:51 Client Intake Process

04:33 Confidentiality and Trust

09:40 Financial Considerations

11:16 Document Organization

15:37 Final Thoughts and Contact Information

Military Divorces: Tips and Insights from Family Law Experts

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 29 Apr 2025 04:00:00 -0400

Join Elizabeth Stevenson from New Direction Family Law and her colleague Ashley Oldham as they discuss the unique challenges of military divorces. In this episode, they delve into the nuances of divorce for military families, covering topics such as pension division, custody arrangements, and the Uniform Deployed Parents Custody and Visitation Act. Ashley, a board-certified family law specialist with extensive experience in military divorces, provides valuable insights on jurisdiction, survivor benefits, and child support. Whether you're a service member or a spouse, this episode is packed with essential information to help navigate the complexities of military divorces.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction

00:38 Military Divorce Overview

02:33 Jurisdiction in Military Divorces

03:54 Custody Issues in Military Divorces

09:49 Division of Military Pensions

15:55 Domestic Violence and Military Personnel

17:25 Military Support Programs and Conclusion

Protecting Your Business in Marriage with Matthew McGonagle

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 18 Mar 2025 04:00:00 -0400

Join Sarah Hink and Ava Jeanette from New Direction Family Law as they chat with guest attorney Matt McGonagle about crucial aspects of business creation, estate planning, and protecting your business in the event of divorce or death. They discuss the importance of having proper legal agreements like operating agreements and shareholders' agreements, and dive into the complexities of trusts, estate planning, and marital protections. Learn how to safeguard your business and assets against unforeseen life events in this insightful podcast episode.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Welcome

00:54 Matt McGonigal's Legal Expertise

01:15 Business Creation and Protection

03:43 Divorce and Business Ownership

06:27 Trusts and Estate Planning

15:22 Final Thoughts and Contact Information

Learn more about Matt McGonagle, a board certified specialist with the North Carolina State Bar – Estate Planning and Probate Law

Learn more about New Direction Family Law: https://newdirectionfamilylaw.com/contact-us-today/

How to get a Domestic Violence Protective Order

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 04 Mar 2025 04:00:00 -0500

In this episode, Sarah J. Hink and Ava K. Jennette from New Direction Family Law discuss the procedural steps involved in obtaining a domestic violence protective order (DVPO) in North Carolina. They offer advice on resources such as local domestic violence resource centers and highlight the essential details needed in the complaint form, including specific allegations and dates. The discussion includes what to expect during the ex parte hearing, service of the abuser, and the return hearing. They also cover the potential consequences of violating a DVPO, the importance of including all relevant incidents in the complaint, and the role of Legal Aid in assisting victims. The episode provides comprehensive guidance for those looking to pursue or defend against a DVPO, emphasizing the importance of legal representation.

00:00 Introduction to the Episode

00:30 Understanding Domestic Violence Protective Orders

01:39 Filing for a Protective Order

02:25 Details and Allegations in the Complaint

06:30 The Ex Parte Order Process

08:47 Preparing for the Return Hearing

09:57 Defending Against False Allegations

13:17 Consequences of Violating a Protective Order

17:56 Renewing a Protective Order

19:56 Final Advice and Resources

Learn more about New Direction Family Law: https://newdirectionfamilylaw.com/contact-us-today/

Navigating Absolute Divorce in North Carolina - Absolutely

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 18 Feb 2025 04:00:00 -0500

Join Sarah Hink and attorney Ava Jeanette from New Direction Family Law as they delve into the intricate process of filing for absolute divorce in North Carolina. Learn about the requirements such as the mandatory one year and one day physical separation, the importance of resolving property and alimony issues beforehand, and the nuances related to service and court filings. They also discuss unique scenarios involving military service and incompetency. Whether you're doing it yourself or seeking professional help, this episode provides essential insights to guide you through the divorce proceedings.

00:00 Introduction and Guest Introduction

00:39 Understanding Absolute Divorce

01:33 Filing for Divorce in North Carolina

04:06 Checklist Before Filing for Divorce

05:17 The Divorce Filing Process

06:18 Service Issues in Divorce

07:53 Court Procedures and Attorney Involvement

14:02 Special Cases and Unique Scenarios

16:27 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

Learn more about New Direction Family Law: https://newdirectionfamilylaw.com/contact-us-today/

Rings, Romance, and Real Talk... Prenups!

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 04 Feb 2025 04:00:00 -0500

Understanding Prenuptial Agreements: Protecting Your Future and Assets

In this episode of New Direction Family Law, Elizabeth Stevenson and Sarah Hink discuss the importance of prenuptial agreements, especially for individuals entering second marriages or who have children from previous relationships. They explain how prenups can protect personal assets, manage debts, and anticipate changes in circumstances, such as starting a business. The conversation also touches on the misconceptions about prenups, the emotional and financial implications, and the necessity of discussing finances openly before marriage. Tune in for real talk on romance, prenups, and safeguarding your future.

00:00 Introduction and Importance of Prenups

01:01 Meet the Team

01:37 Discussing Prenups and Common Misconceptions

03:05 Debt and Financial Transparency in Marriage

06:16 Prenups and Business Ownership

10:31 Changing Prenups: Legal Advice

10:41 Prenups and Children: Legal Limitations

11:11 Prenups and Infidelity Clauses

11:25 Public Policy and Prenups

12:22 Prenups and Coercion

12:55 Timing and Prenups

13:29 Prenups for Second Marriages

14:10 Strange Prenup Clauses

15:11 Postnups: Similarities and Differences

15:58 Prenups and Business Ownership

17:03 Prenups: Personal Decisions and Legal Advice

Learn more about New Direction Family Law: https://newdirectionfamilylaw.com/contact-us-today/

Suddenly Single: Coping with Unexpected Separation

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 21 Jan 2025 04:00:00 -0500

In this episode, Elizabeth Stevenson and Sarah Hink from New Direction Family Law discuss the complexities and emotional challenges of separation and divorce. They share practical advice on handling separation, especially in cases of domestic violence, financial complications, and child custody. They also introduce Cam Heinsohn, their new marketing and business development manager. The conversation touches on real-life scenarios, legal strategies, and the emotional toll of ending a marriage, aiming to provide guidance and support for those going through such a difficult time.

00:00 The Hardest Part of Separation

00:58 Introducing the New Podcast Member

02:04 Suddenly Single: Coping with Unexpected Separation

05:43 Handling Separation Conversations

11:39 Navigating Separation: Initial Steps

12:08 Living Arrangements and Legal Implications

13:27 Financial Responsibilities During Separation

15:44 Court Orders and Legal Actions

18:39 Consulting an Attorney: When and Why

20:48 Emotional and Practical Support

21:28 Finding Strength and Moving Forward

Learn more about New Direction Family Law: https://newdirectionfamilylaw.com/contact-us-today/

High-Conflict Divorce: The Role of Parenting Coordinators

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 07 Jan 2025 04:00:00 -0500

In this episode of 'The Exit Strategy: Your No Bullshit Guide to Divorce,' experienced attorneys Elizabeth Stevenson and Sarah Hink from New Direction Family Law discuss the vital role of parenting coordinators in high-conflict divorce situations. Learn how parenting coordinators, either attorneys or mental health professionals, are appointed to assist co-parents in making decisions and improving communication.

Discover how this essential service can help avoid prolonged court battles, reduce legal fees, and ensure the best interests of the children are prioritized. Tune in for expert insights on how to navigate co-parenting challenges effectively.

00:00 Introduction to the Exit Strategy

00:18 Meet the Attorneys

00:42 Understanding Parenting Coordinators

01:05 Role and Appointment of Parenting Coordinators

01:51 Challenges in Co-Parenting

03:53 Legal Implications and Court Involvement

05:03 Benefits of Parenting Coordinators

07:22 Practical Advice for Co-Parents

17:16 Final Thoughts and Contact Information

Learn more about New Direction Family Law: https://newdirectionfamilylaw.com/contact-us-today/

Navigating Taxes During Divorce: Expert Tips from Jason Deshayes

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 24 Dec 2024 04:00:00 -0500

In this episode of 'The Exit Strategy: Your No Bullsh$t Guide to Divorce,' hosts Elizabeth Stevenson and Sarah Hink from New Direction Family Law are joined by Jason Deshayes, CEO of Cook Wealth. They discuss the crucial role of financial planning and tax preparation in the context of divorce. Topics include tax liabilities, the importance of transparency in joint tax filings, handling separate and joint accounts, and the significance of consulting with CPAs and financial advisors. The episode aims to educate listeners on making informed financial decisions during and after a divorce, ensuring a smoother transition from victim to victorious and from bitter to better.

00:00 Spotting Financial Red Flags in Relationships

00:21 Introduction to the Exit Strategy Podcast

00:53 Meet the Expert: Jason Dehe from Cook Wealth

01:34 The Role of Spouses in Tax Preparation

02:38 Understanding Joint Tax Returns and Liabilities

03:37 The Importance of Financial Transparency in Marriage

04:08 Navigating Financial Conflicts During Divorce

05:22 The Benefits of Filing Taxes Separately

07:31 Managing Separate and Joint Bank Accounts

10:08 Handling CPA Conflicts During Divorce

13:59 Dividing Assets: Brokerage vs. Retirement Accounts

16:08 Navigating Financial Confusion

17:21 The Role of Financial Advisors

17:58 Tax and Wealth Management

18:30 Cash vs. Retirement Funds

19:26 Alimony and Tax Implications

21:16 Pre-Planning for Divorce

23:52 Financial Planning for Smaller Budgets

29:10 Services Offered by Wealth Management Firms

31:43 Conclusion and Contact Information

Learn more about New Direction Family Law: https://newdirectionfamilylaw.com/contact-us-today/

All I want for Christmas is... An Annulment?

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 10 Dec 2024 04:00:00 -0500

Join Elizabeth A. Stephenson and Sarah J. Hink from New Direction Family Law as they explore the often misunderstood topic of annulments and how they differ from divorces. They discuss various grounds for annulments in North Carolina, including bigamy, mental incapacity, and underage marriage with parental consent. Elizabeth and Sarah also touch on some complex cases they’ve encountered and provide insights into legal protections and agreements that can safeguard your future. Whether you're considering an annulment or a divorce after the holidays, this informative discussion will help you understand your options.

00:00 Holiday Wishes and Legal Choices

00:04 Understanding Annulments

01:09 Legal Grounds for Annulments in North Carolina

01:48 Bigamy Cases and Legal Implications

04:00 Age and Mental Capacity in Marriage

06:49 Impotence and Annulment

09:51 Consent and Manipulation in Marriage

11:14 Hallmark Movies and Mistaken Beliefs

11:40 Fraud in Marriage: Proving the Case

14:14 Annulment vs. Divorce: Legal Differences

15:23 Cohabitation Agreements and Property Rights

17:12 Prenups and Postnups: Protecting Your Assets

19:36 Final Thoughts and Holiday Wishes

Learn more about New Direction Family Law: https://newdirectionfamilylaw.com/contact-us-today/

Top 10 Things to Know When Going Through a Divorce

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 09 Jul 2024 04:00:00 -0400

Summary: In this episode, Elizabeth Stephenson, Sarah Hink, and Jen Bordeaux from New Direction Family Law share the top ten essential tips and advice for navigating through a divorce. They cover both legal and personal aspects, offering practical insights and supportive guidance to help listeners manage this challenging period in their lives. From financial independence to emotional support, these tips aim to provide a comprehensive understanding of what to expect and how to handle various situations during a divorce.

Key Points:

Your Kids Will Be Okay
- Emphasize the importance of shielding children from conflict.
- Tips on co-parenting and maintaining a healthy relationship with your children.
Love Your Kids More Than You Hate Your Ex
- Avoid speaking negatively about your ex in front of your children.
- Focus on your children's well-being rather than on past grievances.
There's Always a Way to Make It Work Financially
- Discuss strategies for financial independence.
- Importance of understanding your financial situation and planning accordingly.
Don't Use Your Attorney for Emotional Support
- Seek professional counseling for emotional needs.
- Focus on using your attorney for legal advice and strategy.
Things Might Get Worse Before They Get Better
- Prepare for potential escalation of conflict during the process.
- Stay focused on long-term outcomes and personal growth.
Focus on Yourself and Set Boundaries
- Prioritize self-care and establish clear boundaries with your ex.
- Use tools like Our Family Wizard for communication.
Unfriend or Block Your Ex on Social Media
- Avoid the temptation to stalk or engage with your ex online.
- Protect your mental health by limiting exposure to potentially upsetting content.
Treat Communications as Though They Will Be Read in Court
- Always maintain a respectful and factual tone in written communications.
- Understand that any communication could be used as evidence.
Surround Yourself with Supportive People
- Lean on friends, family, or support groups for emotional support.
- Avoid people who encourage negative or aggressive behavior.
Don't Rush into Dating After Divorce
- Take time to heal and reflect on your past relationship.
- Ensure you are emotionally ready before starting a new relationship.

Resources Mentioned:

Our Family Wizard and other co-parenting tools.
Professional counselors and therapists.
Support groups and online communities for divorced individuals.

Call to Action:

Follow New Direction Family Law on TikTok for more tips and insights.
Reach out to a professional counselor for emotional support.
Consult with an attorney to understand your legal rights and options.

Conclusion: Divorce can be a challenging and emotional journey, but by following these ten tips, you can navigate it more effectively. Focus on your well-being, seek appropriate support, and take one step at a time to ensure a better future for yourself and your children.

Courtroom Drama: How to Avoid Being a Hot Mess

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 25 Jun 2024 04:00:00 -0400

Summary: In this insightful episode, Elizabeth Stephenson, Sarah Hink, and Jen Bordeaux from New Direction Family Law discuss essential tips and advice for anyone preparing to go to court. Drawing from their extensive experience, they provide practical do’s and don’ts to help listeners present themselves effectively and navigate the courtroom with confidence. The episode covers everything from appropriate attire and punctuality to emotional control and the importance of honesty.

Key Points:

Introduction and Overview (00:00:00)
- Hosts introduce themselves and the topic of the episode.
- Elizabeth and Sarah share their extensive courtroom experiences.
Courtroom Etiquette: Do's and Don'ts (00:01:18)
- Importance of dressing appropriately for court.
- Avoiding casual attire such as running shorts, flip-flops, and tank tops.
Respect and Behavior in Court (00:02:12)
- Respecting the judge and courtroom officials.
- Do not interrupt the judge or make inappropriate gestures.
Punctuality is Key (00:06:00)
- Always arrive on time for court hearings.
- Plan your route and parking in advance to ensure timely arrival.
Emotional Control (00:05:19)
- Importance of maintaining composure and controlling emotions in court.
- Avoid eye-rolling, sighing, and other negative expressions.
Preparation and Honesty (00:12:12)
- Being prepared with all necessary documents well in advance.
- Always be honest with your attorney and in court to avoid damaging your case.
Courtroom Procedures and Expectations (00:14:53)
- Understanding the flow of a court case and what to expect.
- The significance of hearing prep meetings and following your attorney’s guidance.
Children in Court (00:10:41)
- Avoid bringing children to court unless absolutely necessary.
- Impact of childcare challenges for low-income families attending court.
Community and Judicial Support (00:16:14)
- Appreciation for the judicial community and legal professionals.
- The importance of respecting the legal process and the roles of everyone involved.
Conclusion and Final Thoughts (00:17:08)
- Encouragement to follow the discussed tips for a smoother court experience.
- Mention of New Direction Family Law's TikTok account for more insights.

Resources Mentioned:

New Direction Family Law TikTok account for additional tips and insights.

Call to Action:

Follow New Direction Family Law on TikTok for more helpful content.
Reach out to your attorney with any questions or for further guidance on preparing for court.

Pride Month Special: Navigating Family Law for LGBTQ+ Couples

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 11 Jun 2024 04:00:00 -0400

Summary: In this special Pride Month episode, Elizabeth Stephenson, Sarah Hink, and Jen Bordeaux discuss the intricacies of family law as it pertains to same-sex relationships. The episode delves into the legal challenges and considerations for LGBTQ+ couples, particularly in North Carolina. Topics include custody issues, child support, surrogacy, adoption, and the recent Court of Appeals case affecting same-sex couples. The hosts emphasize the importance of legal guidance and community support for LGBTQ+ families.

00:00 Introduction and Greetings

00:49 Busy Times in Family Law

01:16 Pride Month and Family Law

01:56 Legal Nuances of Same-Sex Marriage

03:22 Common Law Marriage Explained

04:34 Recent Court Case on Same-Sex Custody

11:55 Surrogacy and Adoption Considerations

13:33 Community Support and Resources

15:39 Conclusion and Call to Action

Key Points:

Introduction to Pride Month
- Overview of the significance of Pride Month.
- Brief discussion on the recent uptick in divorce and separation cases.
Legal Landscape for Same-Sex Couples
- Examination of the laws applying to same-sex marriages in North Carolina.
- Challenges faced by same-sex couples regarding asset division, spousal support, and custody.
Recent Court of Appeals Case
- Analysis of a recent case involving custody and child support for a non-biological parent in a same-sex relationship.
- Discussion on the legal interpretation of “mother” and “father” in child support statutes.
Common Law Marriage and Custody
- Explanation of common law marriage and its non-recognition in North Carolina.
- Legal nuances in custody and child support for same-sex couples.
Adoption and Surrogacy Considerations (00:12:30)
- Importance of legal contracts in adoption and surrogacy.
- Steps involved in ensuring parental rights and responsibilities are protected.
Community Support and Resources
- Highlighting local resources and support systems for LGBTQ+ families.
- Encouragement to engage with local community centers and legal professionals.
Advocacy and Legal Reform
- Call to action for legal reforms to ensure equality and fairness for all families.
- Importance of voting and reaching out to legislative representatives.

Resources Mentioned:

Local LGBTQIA+ community centers and support groups.
Legal professionals specializing in family law for same-sex couples.
Mental health professionals with a focus on LGBTQ+ issues.

Call to Action:

Get involved in local advocacy for legal reforms.
Reach out to community resources for support and guidance.
Contact legal professionals for advice on family law matters.

Terminal Trials: Custody Concerns

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 30 Apr 2024 04:00:00 -0400

Episode Summary:
In this episode, Sarah Hink, a seasoned family law attorney, explores a significant North Carolina Court of Appeals case that sheds light on custody disputes, particularly focusing on the implications of a parent's terminal illness and the subsequent legal maneuvers to ensure the well-being of the child involved. With Elizabeth Stevenson absent due to other legal obligations, Jen Bordeaux steps in to co-host, ensuring the conversation remains insightful, informative, and engaging. The episode delves into the complexities of custody appeals, the importance of timing in legal filings, and the rights of biological and non-biological family members in custody cases.

Key Topics Discussed:

The role of the Court of Appeals and its function in the legal hierarchy.
A deep dive into a recent Court of Appeals case from Guilford County, highlighting the challenges and strategic legal actions taken amidst a parent's terminal illness.
The legal nuances and implications of filing motions to modify custody and intervene in ongoing custody cases.
The significance of a parent's death on custody disputes and the intervention rights of grandparents and other relatives.
Insights into proving a parent unfit and the legal hurdles involved in non-biological family members seeking custody.
Discussion on the legal strategies and emotional considerations necessary when planning for custody amidst life-changing events like terminal illness.
The limitations of wills in dictating custody outcomes post a parent's demise.

Episode Highlights:

Learn about the critical importance of timely and strategic legal filings in custody disputes, especially in light of terminal illness.
Discover the legal complexities surrounding custody modifications, interventions, and the unique challenges faced by non-biological relatives in securing custody rights.
Gain insights into the real-life impact of family law issues on the well-being of children and the importance of experienced legal counsel in navigating these challenges.

Recommended Resources:

Previous episodes on topics such as parental alienation and the legal challenges faced by same-sex couples in custody disputes.
Consultation with a specialized family law attorney for personal guidance and support in custody and family law matters.

Closing Thoughts:
The intersection of family law with deeply personal life events such as terminal illness presents both emotional and legal challenges. This episode highlights the crucial role of informed legal action in safeguarding the future of children caught in the midst of custody disputes. Through a discussion on a poignant Court of Appeals case, listeners are reminded of the complexities of the legal system and the vital need for expert legal advice in these sensitive situations.

Reminder: For those navigating similar challenges or seeking legal counsel, it's essential to consult with a knowledgeable family law attorney to understand the best course of action for your unique circumstances.

The Art of Divorce Rituals: Breaking Bonds, Building Bridges

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 16 Apr 2024 04:00:00 -0400

Episode Summary:
In this episode of the New Direction Family Law podcast, hosts Sarah Hink and Jenn Bordeaux are joined by Elizabeth Barbour, a seasoned life and business coach with 24 years of experience, and the author of "Sacred Celebrations: Designing Rituals to Navigate Life's Big Transitions." Coming from Asheville, North Carolina, Elizabeth shares her profound insights into the importance of rituals in marking significant life changes, particularly focusing on divorce. The conversation uncovers the therapeutic power of creating personalized rituals to process and celebrate the end of a marriage, alongside the grieving process akin to dealing with death and loss. Through Elizabeth’s personal stories and expertise, listeners are guided on how to create meaningful rituals that acknowledge the past, heal the present, and welcome the future.

Key Topics Discussed:

The significance of rituals in navigating life transitions, especially divorce.
Elizabeth Barber’s journey into life, business coaching, and her inspiration behind her latest book.
Personal divorce rituals: Elizabeth shares her experiences with two divorces and how rituals helped her heal.
Suggestions for divorce rituals include symbolic actions like walking the Great Wall of China and hosting backward weddings.
The concept of a "familyversary" to maintain family bonds post-divorce.
Ideas for involving children in divorce rituals to ensure they feel included and secure.
The importance of closure, letting go, and setting positive intentions for the future.

Episode Highlights:

Learn about the unique and empowering ways people have chosen to mark their transition from married to single life.
Discover how rituals can serve as a tool for healing, closure, and even celebration amidst the pain of divorce.
Understand the impact of divorce on families and how to create rituals that honor the changes while reinforcing family continuity.

Guest Contact Information:

Elizabeth Barbour
Website: https://elizabethbarbour.com/
Book: "Sacred Celebrations: Designing Rituals to Navigate Life’s Milestone Transitions" available on Amazon and Elizabeth's website.

Closing Thoughts:
Divorce, much like any major life transition, brings with it a mixture of emotions, from grief and loss to relief and new beginnings. Through the lens of Elizabeth Barber's expertise and heartfelt advice, this episode invites listeners to embrace the healing power of rituals. By marking the end of a marriage with intention and grace, individuals can find peace and pave the way for a hopeful future.

Remember: Safety first! If any ritual involves fire or physical activity, take necessary precautions to ensure a safe and positive experience.

Betting Against the House: When Gambling Threatens Marriage

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 02 Apr 2024 04:00:00 -0400

Episode Summary:
In this insightful episode, Sarah Hink, an experienced attorney and partner at New Direction Family Law, is joined by Jennifer Bordeaux in the absence of Elizabeth Stevenson. As North Carolina embraces March Madness, the duo dives into the recent legalization of online sports betting in the state, its implications for family dynamics, and how it intersects with legal considerations in family law. They explore the excitement of the NCAA basketball season, the thrill of online gambling, and the potential dark side of gambling addiction and its impact on relationships and financial stability.

Key Topics Discussed:

Introduction to the legalization of online sports betting in North Carolina.
The excitement around March Madness and the state's basketball teams.
The potential fun and risks associated with online gambling.
Gambling addiction as a serious concern, affecting relationships and leading to financial instability.
The significance of financial transparency and communication in relationships.
Legal implications of gambling in divorce and separation cases, including financial disputes and the division of debt.
The process of discovery in legal cases to uncover hidden gambling debts.
Strategies for addressing gambling issues within a relationship, including postnuptial agreements and seeking professional help.
The importance of financial literacy and awareness, especially for women.
The role of financial counseling and support in understanding and managing finances.

Advice for Listeners:

Be vigilant about the signs of gambling addiction and its impact on your relationship and finances.
Maintain open communication about finances with your partner, and seek joint solutions to manage gambling behaviors.
Consider legal advice early if gambling becomes a contentious issue in your relationship, especially concerning separation or divorce proceedings.
Engage in financial education and counseling to better understand and manage your finances, particularly in the context of marriage and potential separation.

Closing Thoughts:
While online gambling brings a new layer of excitement to sports and entertainment, it also poses significant risks that can escalate into serious relationship and financial problems. Awareness, communication, and proactive legal and financial planning are key to navigating these challenges.

Facebook Legal Advice Fails: The Not-So-Fine Print

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 23 Jan 2024 04:00:00 -0500

Overview: This episode of "Exit Strategy" delves into the risks and misunderstandings surrounding seeking and giving legal advice on Facebook. Hosts Elizabeth A. Stephenson, a family law attorney, and Jennifer Bordeaux, specializing in marketing and beyond at New Direction Family Law, dissect real examples from social media, highlighting the misinformation often spread in these platforms.

Key Points Discussed:

The Danger of Unqualified Legal Advice: The hosts emphasize the pitfalls of taking legal advice from unqualified individuals on social media, particularly Facebook. They analyze several examples where advice, often well-meaning, is legally incorrect and potentially harmful.
Legal Misconceptions: Common misconceptions about family law, such as separation regulations, child support, and property division, are addressed. The hosts clarify these issues, contrasting them with the inaccurate advice found online.
Importance of Professional Guidance: The conversation repeatedly stresses the importance of consulting a professional attorney for legal matters. The hosts discuss how personal experiences and opinions shared on social media cannot replace tailored legal advice.
Varied Legal Outcomes: The episode highlights how legal outcomes can significantly vary based on individual circumstances, underscoring the limitations of generalized advice on social media.

Closing Thoughts: The hosts conclude by urging listeners to be cautious with the information on social media and to seek professional legal advice for their specific situations.

Listen to the full episode for an in-depth exploration of the complexities of legal advice in the age of social media.

Love, Marriage, and How Not to End Up in a True Crime Podcast with Amanda Lamb

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 09 Jan 2024 04:00:00 -0500

Our Guest:

Amanda Lamb is a veteran television crime reporter with more than three decades of experience and is also a podcast host and producer. She works for award-winning WRAL TV in Raleigh, North Carolina.

Amanda currently hosts and produces a weekday morning podcast called the WRAL Daily Download. She has also hosted and produced two true crime podcasts and has another on the way. Follow the Truth was released in 2021 and won the prestigious regional Edward R. Murrow award for excellence in journalism. What Remainswas released in 2022. The Killing Month is scheduled for release in the summer of 2023.

Amanda has written and published a dozen books. Her fictional murder mystery series includes: Dead Last, Lies That Bindand No Wake Zone. Amanda is also the author of three true crime books based on murder cases she covered for WRAL including: Deadly Dose, Evil Next Door, and Love Lies. She has published four memoirs, one about caregiving and three about parenting, including: The Living Room, I Love You to God and Back, Girls Gone Child, and Smotherhood, and two children’s books, I Love You to God and Back and We Are Not the Same. Amanda writes a monthly blog on WRAL’s website called “Go Ask Mom.”

To learn more about Amanda and her work go to www.alambauthor.com. You can also follow her on social media.

Facebook: @wralAmandaLamb @stagemight

Twitter: @alamb

Instagram: @wral_amanda_lamb.

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Episode Overview:
This episode of "Exit Strategy" features Amanda Lamb, a seasoned reporter from WRAL, as she discusses various aspects of crime and domestic violence and her experiences in reporting and authoring books on these topics.

Key Discussion points:

True Crime Books: Lamb talks about her books, including 'Deadly Dose' and 'Love Lies,' which delve into high-profile murder cases involving domestic violence.
Domestic Violence Insights: The conversation highlights the complex nature of domestic violence, touching upon its psychological aspects, including financial control and emotional abuse.
Legal Perspectives: Lamb and the hosts discuss the legal implications and challenges in domestic violence cases, emphasizing the difficulty in prosecuting non-physical forms of abuse.
Impact on Children: The episode underscores the lasting impact of domestic violence on children, with Lamb discussing this theme in her mystery series and real-world cases.
Investigative Challenges: Lamb highlights advancements in DNA technology and their role in solving cold cases, sharing insights from her true crime podcast projects.
Personal Projects: Amanda discusses her upcoming projects, including a book set in the mountains about a missing hiker and a podcast about women transforming their lives post-50.

Conclusion:
The episode provides a comprehensive look at domestic violence, its societal impact, and the role of media in bringing these stories to light, driven by Amanda Lamb’s extensive experience in crime reporting and storytelling.

New Year, New Me - How to prepare if you’re considering divorce in 2024

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 12 Dec 2023 04:00:00 -0500

Hosts: Elizabeth Stephenson and Jen Bordeaux from New Direction Family Law.

Topic: Preparing for and navigating separation and divorce.

Key Discussions:

The tendency for people to consider separation post-holidays.
Consultations as a tool for preparation and planning, offering legal advice and a "toolbox" for navigating separation.
Addressing fears and misconceptions about custody and financial survival post-separation.
The importance of individual plans and strategies in the context of family law.
The role of attorneys in providing guidance and representation.
Specific Advice:
- Different aspects of family law: custody, child support, spousal support, and property distribution.
- Approaches to dealing with joint property and finances in separation.
- The ethical boundaries of consultations and the importance of confidentiality.
Audience: Individuals considering separation or divorce, seeking practical and legal advice.
Tone: Informative, supportive, addressing complex emotional and legal aspects of separation with clarity.

Breaking the Rules: What to do if Your Ex Isn't Following a Court Order or Separation Agreement.

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 29 Aug 2023 04:00:00 -0400

The episode's topic is the serious implications of violating a court order, specifically in the context of family law.

Violating Court Orders:

Discuss common ways people violate court orders, including not following custody or child support orders.
An explanation is that judges are not pleased with non-compliance and the importance of settling cases to have a say in the outcome.
Once a judge gives an order, it must be followed. Even if one has a custody order, law enforcement may not get involved.

Remedies for Violation:

If one is constantly late for exchanges or violates the order in other ways, the remedy often starts with contacting an attorney.
Options include contacting the other party's attorney to resolve the issue without court intervention.
If resolution is not possible, filing a motion for an order to show cause and motion for contempt is the next step.

Repercussions and Types of Contempt:

Courts have a wide range of repercussions. Two types of contempt are discussed: civil and criminal.
Civil contempt can lead to jail until compliance is achieved, and criminal contempt is seen as punishment.
Discussion on the power of judges to modify custody or support orders and the likelihood of immediate payment once jailed.

Understanding Court Orders:

Importance of having an order in place and the challenges if there's no signed order in the court file.
Frustration when parties continue to do as they please without a signed order and the limits of what attorneys can do in such cases.

Criteria for Contempt and Costs:

Trivial violations like being 15 minutes late may not be enough for contempt.
The financial aspect of filing another motion and going to court is highlighted.

I Want Out: How to Tell Your Spouse You Want a Divorce

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 15 Aug 2023 04:00:00 -0400

You don't want to start the beginning of the end conflicted. So when possible be kind.

Discussion About Guests and Support:

Mention guests who have supported people during a divorce.
Emphasizing the need for support for those who have been through divorce.

Introduction of Tracey Stracener with Simply Thrive Therapeutic Associates:

Discussion about her role in supporting people through divorce.
Introducing the topic: telling your spouse that you want to leave.

Tracey Speaks About Her Practice:

Overview of working at Simply Thrive Therapeutic Associates, focusing on trauma therapy.
Discussing the trauma involved in asking for a divorce and the delicate nature of the subject.
Emphasizes her love for working with women and her approach to therapy.

Discussion on Therapy and Moving Forward:

Tracey details her work with individuals, couples, and families.
The hosts and Tracey discuss the theme of moving forward.

Navigating the Emotional Aspect of Divorce:

Discussion on how to handle telling a spouse about wanting a divorce.
Consideration of keeping secrets and preparing for the other person's reaction.
Discussion about taking various individual responses to a divorce request.

Dealing with Narcissistic Personalities:

Reflection on encountering narcissistic personalities in their line of work.
Contemplating how to approach a conversation with someone with a narcissistic personality.

From Tin Cup to Enforcing a Prenup: Our Take on Kevin Costner's Divorce

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 01 Aug 2023 07:19:11 -0400

Introduction
- Elizabeth Stephenson and Sarah introduced themselves from New Direction, Family Law.
- They discuss their passion for trash-talking and telemetry.
Main Topic: Rich People's Divorces
- The topic concerns divorces, specifically among the rich, covering issues like child support, custody, and property.
- More money is involved, but issues are similar to average divorces.
Kevin Costner's Divorce Drama
- Focusing on the Kevin Costner divorce drama from his longtime wife, who married in 2004.
- Discussion of a prenuptial agreement.
- Elizabeth and Sarah role-play representing wife and husband, respectively.
Property Issues
- Fifty-eight thousand square feet property with various amenities discussed.
- They are debating over property rights and why the wife has to leave.
- The property includes the main house, fishing lodge, guest house, baseball field, etc.
Child Support and Prenup
- Child support amount: around $129,000 a month.
- Prenup required Kevin Costner to pay $1.4 million to his wife.
- Concerns about how long she can survive on that sum.
- Humorous discussion on dividing up pots and pans in the divorce.
Caretakers and House Maintenance
- Discussions about the extensive care required for the property.
- The debate over environmental issues and large houses.
Legal Considerations
- Discussion on prenup legality and limitations regarding child support.
- The hosts mention the surprise at the large child support order in this case.
Overall Tone
- A mix of serious legal insights and lighthearted banter about celebrity lifestyles and legal proceedings related to divorce.

Til Death or Divorce Do Us Part: The intersection of family law and estate planning featuring Adam Hopler

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 13 Jun 2023 04:00:00 -0400

Guest: Adam Hopler, an Estate Attorney from the firm Hopler, Wilms, & Hanna PLLC.

Adam shares about his personal background, including his experience of practicing law in Durham for 12 years and being a father to six kids.
Discussion about the intersection of family law and estate planning: how divorce and separation can impact one's estate and the importance of consultation with estate attorneys.
The podcast addresses certain scenarios where it becomes essential to speak with an estate attorney, such as in cases of separations involving substantial estates or closely held businesses.
Adam elaborates on how estate planning isn't just about the individual but also about those around them, who may end up dealing with the consequences of inadequate planning.
Discussion on the need for life insurance and how it's meant to cover debts so that dependents don't have to.
The podcast addresses the importance of revisiting estate plans periodically due to life changes and gives an example of how the pandemic has accelerated these changes for many.
Adam talks about the significance of beneficiary designations and shares an anecdote from his law school days.
Discussion about what happens if a person dies without a will, or 'intestate', in North Carolina, with particular emphasis on the role of a spouse and children in the division of the estate.
The hosts conclude with a discussion on the importance of estate planning, even in complex family situations, such as split families, and during periods of separation before divorce is finalized.

Note: For expert advice tailored to your specific circumstances, it is always recommended to consult with a certified legal professional in your area.

How to Talk to Your Children about Divorce

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 30 May 2023 04:00:00 -0400

Guest: LINDSEY OHLER, PSY.D.

Introduction:
Hosts Elizabeth Stevenson and Sarah Hink from New Direction Family Law invite Dr. Lindsay Ohler to discuss a critical topic - how to approach the conversation about separation and divorce with children.
The Emotional Impact of Divorce on Children:
Dr. Ohler emphasizes the profound emotional effects of divorce on children, comparing the experience to grief. She highlights the need for care and gentleness while discussing separation with children, regardless of age.
The Perceptive Nature of Children:
Discussing how even if parents try to shield their children from their disputes, children are intuitive and often sense that something is wrong.
Breaking the News as a United Front:
Dr. Ohler recommends both parents be present when informing children about the divorce. This provides a united front and reassures the child.
Approaching Different Age Groups:
The conversation varies based on the child's age. For a two-year-old, keep the explanation simple. For older kids, explain the logistics of the new living arrangements without delving into the details of the separation.
Creating Comfort in New Spaces:
Encourage children to participate in creating their new spaces in separate homes. This could include choosing room colors or selecting mementos from their previous home.
Discussing Divorce with Teenagers:
Teenagers, who tend to pick sides, balance their time with parents and friends. Parents must maintain control of their emotions during the conversation, provide reassurance, and refrain from oversharing details of the divorce.
Protecting Sensitive Information:
Parents must secure any divorce-related documents (both hard copies and electronic) to prevent their children from stumbling upon them and causing potential distress.
Effect on Adult Children:
Even adult children might struggle with their parent's divorce, questioning their relationships and family identity.
Therapy for Children:
Therapy could benefit children as young as three, helping them navigate the emotional turbulence during a divorce.

Stay tuned for more episodes as we navigate the complexities of family law together.

Divorcing a Sociopath with Kerrie Droban

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 25 Apr 2023 04:00:00 -0400

In this episode of the New Direction Family Law Podcast, Elizabeth, Sarah, and guest Kerrie Droban discuss the pathology of the criminal mind and identify the traits of sociopaths, psychopaths, and narcissists in the context of family law. They also provide strategies for victims to protect themselves and unmask their abusers during litigation.

Elizabeth and Sarah from New Direction Family Law are joined by Kerrie Droban, an award-winning true crime author and criminal and family law attorney.
Kerrie Droban shares her expertise on the pathology of the criminal mind, focusing on identifying the personality disorder traits of narcissists, psychopaths, and sociopaths.
While not all of these personalities have criminal intent, their dangerous behaviors make them a threat to those around them.
Victims of abusive relationships with dark personalities often suffer psychological abuse, leading to gaps in their stories, making litigation difficult.
Unmasking the psychopath, narcissist, or sociopath is the key to getting the victim out of the abusive relationship and prevailing in litigation.
Kerrie shares strategies to educate people in the courtroom about these personality disorders to gain a stronger position in litigation.

https://www.kerriedroban.com
zhivagolaw@gmail.com

Kerrie’s books on Amazon

Kerrie’s writing workshop

Instagram

zhivagolaw@gmail.com

I Always Feel Like Somebody's Watching Me: Is Your Spouse Spying on You?

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 11 Apr 2023 04:00:00 -0400

What do you do if you think someone is stalking you, digitally or in real life...

Spying is a common issue in family law cases.
People may spy on their spouses because they suspect infidelity or substance abuse.
Hiring a private investigator or conducting your own investigation by looking through trash or tracking purchases can gather evidence.
Spouses may spy by following their partner, audio or video recording, accessing emails or phone data, or installing tracking devices on cars or personal items.
AirTags can be used to track people discreetly.
If you suspect someone is spying on you, talk to an attorney and consider having a specialist scan your devices.
Change passwords, set up new email accounts, and be aware of your surroundings to protect your privacy.
Mental health concerns may need to be addressed if someone is overly paranoid about being spied on.

Divorce Lawyers at Your Service for Service Members

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 28 Mar 2023 15:00:00 -0400

Sarah, a partner and attorney at New Direction Family Law, interviewed Ashley Oldham, another partner, and attorney at the same firm, about military divorces.
Military divorces have unique challenges, such as deployments, custody during deployment, and division of military pensions and benefits.
There are three bases for jurisdiction under federal law regarding military pensions: consent, domicile, and residency for reasons other than military assignments.
To benefit from certain accounts, no set length for marriage is required. Still, if the marriage overlaps with military service for ten years, the spouse can receive direct payments from the Defense Finance and Accounting Service.
It is crucial to pick an attorney who knows enough about military divorce to understand what they do not know and can outsource to others.
In a military divorce, all military entitlements count for child support, not just taxable income.
The frozen benefit rule, which affects how much of a pension a former spouse is entitled to, has changed with the National Defense Authorization Act and may be worth less than expected due to disability benefits.
Survivor benefits are unitary benefits, meaning they go to one person, but the pension can be divided among multiple spouses.
Military attorneys are available for legal assistance, but they may not be licensed in the state and may not be knowledgeable about family law.

Relocation Relocation Relocation

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 28 Feb 2023 04:00:00 -0500

In this episode:

What are some reasons that the court would say you can move or not move during a divorce? Domestic violence is a completely different circumstance.
Some of the things the court considers is:
- will it benefit the child
- family
- crime statistics
- culture & art
- an opportunity to make a better living
Many times a separation agreement will outline terms related to relocating.
What can happen if a parent does move with the kids without a court order?
The age of children and connections they have with friends, school, sports, and their community often will factor into a judges decision as well.

Help your friends going through a divorce go from victim to victorious and bitter to better.
If you like The Ex-it Strategy, visit our website to subscribe for free, and you'll never miss an episode. And if you like the Ex-it Strategy, We'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two).

Prenups - Love em or hate em

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 14 Feb 2023 04:00:00 -0500

In this episode:

What is a prenup and why is it important
Advantages and disadvantages of prenups
When should a couple consider getting a prenup
Common misunderstandings and myths about prenups
What should couples consider when creating a prenup
What are the legal requirements of a prenup
How do you make sure that a prenup is legally binding
What happens if a prenup is challenged in court
How can couples protect their assets and interests with a prenup

2023 FAQs with Super Lawyers

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 24 Jan 2023 14:00:00 -0500

In this episode

I've been separated for a week can I get on tinder?
We just got married on a week ago, it was a mistake, can we get an annulment?
I've been living in NC for a while now and I need to change my custody order, but it is from another state. How do I do it?
I think my spouse is hiding income during the divorce, how do I find out?
There is no custody order in place but the other parent is with-holding the child from me. What can I do?
I've been separated for a bazillion years and I want to file but I don't know where my ex is now?
If I'm willing to separate and leave the home, should I take the kids with me?
If I choose to leave the house do I loose the rights to my house?
My divorce is final, but we didn't do anything with the house we jointly own. Do I still get my equity from the home?
My soon-to-be-ex wants the divorce, they should have to pay for it, can we make them?
Is cryptocurrency considered martial property?
Do you have experience working with narcissistic behaviors?
Have we seen an uptick in divorces since COVID-19?

What's It Worth? Business valuations with David Amiss

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 27 Dec 2022 04:00:00 -0500

In this episode

David assists attorneys, business owners, and other professionals in determining the value of a company or interest. He focuses primarily on family law, gift and estate, and mergers and acquisitions.
His clients enjoy working with him because of his years of experience and choice to pursue long-lasting, trusted relationships. David strives to go beyond just providing a report; instead, he finds ways to communicate why business value is important and help his clients understand every aspect.
David works with Carr, Riggs & Ingram (CRI), a Top 25 nationally-ranked accounting and advisory firm driven by relationships to cultivate growth.
What do you need to do to get an accurate business evaluation? We talk about the process.
In a divorce, people often assume their spouse's business is worth more than reported because of money paid under the table, etc. David says you can pay his firm 10-20k to forensic investigation if you believe they are hiding money, but you may be losing money if they are not.
There are three ways to determine the valuation of a company
- The asset approach (the fair market value of those assets minus debt)
- The market approach (looking at the sale price of other businesses similar to the company being evaluated)
- The income approach (value=benefits over risks)
When two spouses are in the same business, they each secure services of a firm to get the business evaluated. How do you handle it when the valuations differ?

Help your friends going through a divorce go from victim to victorious and bitter to better.

If you like The Ex-it Strategy, visit our website to subscribe for free, and you'll never miss an episode. And if you like the Ex-it Strategy, We'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two).

Military Divorce with Attorney Ashley L. Oldham

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 13 Dec 2022 04:00:00 -0500

In this episode

We talk about the different aspects of divorce as it applies to military families.
We discuss pensions and how the National Defense Authorization Act changed what a spouse winds up with a divorce. It gives spouses of service members a pension that ends on the day of divorce instead of the full percentage.
If you are getting ready to marry someone in the military, we discuss prenups and specifics surrounding military cases.
One of the most challenging aspects of a military marriage is the potential of moving often and having a spouse who travels a lot.
Military members have the highest divorce rate of any profession.
We discuss child custody issues for children of military divorce, which can get complicated with the frequent travel required for military service members.
North Carolina specifically has the uniform deployed parents custody and visitation act that allows service members to delegate some of their custodial time to a new spouse or a family member while deployed.

Help your friends going through a divorce go from victim to victorious and bitter to better.

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Legal Fees: Who, What, Why, When and How Much?

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 15 Nov 2022 09:00:00 -0500

In this episode

Why do you have to pay for an initial consultation. This is the reserved time for you to sit with your attorney to get a snapshot of what's going on and answer your questions, educate you of your legal rights and options, and help you develop your plan moving forward.
You will be listened to and not "talked-at."
Make sure you tell us all the facts, we are not biased or judgmental. We want to help you.
Really what an initial consultation boils down to is information gathering.
It is an extremely comprehensive consultation.
If you do a consultation does that mean we are your attorney? No. It does conflict us out from representing your opposing party.
If I found an online template that is much cheaper, why should I hire an attorney? We discuss this mentality.
We talk about how legal fees work, what a retainer is, and how an attorney bills for their time.
We define what an hourly rate is from your attorney's perspective.
Can the opposing party pay for your initial retainer?

Help your friends who may be going through a divorce go from victim to victorious and bitter to better.

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Do You Really Want Your Day in Court?

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 25 Oct 2022 06:00:00 -0400

In this episode

Let's take a relatively simple case where you have temporary custody and support hearing that is limited to two hours with two issues. It will likely take your attorneys four to six hours to prepare.
We walk through some common outcomes for time spent in court in various situations.
All the judge has to go on, often times is the credibility of the testimony of those on the stand. So freezing up or not representing yourself well can be very costly.
We talk about the sad fact that "people lie all the time."
In our experience it never goes as you plan.
A lot of people don't understand that your attorneys are timed in court and the time needs to be spent on issues that can effect the outcome, not just the issues that have upset you personally.
Post separation support is difficult to settle because there is no equation like there is in child support.
We talk about the efficacy of mediation and why we love it.
If one person has more money than their spouse, it can be sad reality that they can litigate their spouse until they're broke. It is sad, but it does happen.
If someone offers you mediation you should attempt it in good faith.

Help your friends who may be going through a divorce go from victim to victorious and bitter to better.

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Adam Levine Sliding into DMs: Was it Illicit Sexual Behavior?

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 04 Oct 2022 08:00:00 -0400

In this episode

We discuss what is happening in celebrity news in the case of Adam Levine. Has he cheated in the eyes of the law?
From Adam Levine "I used poor judgment in speaking with anyone other than my wife in any kind of flirtatious ma manner, I did not have an affair. Nevertheless, I crossed the line during a regrettable period in my life. In certain instances, it became inappropriate. I have addressed that and taken proactive steps to remedy this with my family."
North Carolina is a no fault state, so whether or not someone cheated is not necessary for a divorce in our state.
We talk about what constitutes as illicit sexual behavior in North Carolina and what it effects legally.
What do attorneys and judges look for in proving alienation of affection?

Help your friends who may be going through a divorce go from victim to victorious and bitter to better.

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Understanding Parental Alienation

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 09 Aug 2022 04:00:00 -0400

In this episode

The idea around parental alienation is that one parent is doing things to alienate their child from the other parent. It could be saying bad things about the other parent, not allowing communication, restricting access, etc.
Richard Gardner was the first one to coin this term. Here are a couple of facts about him:
- He had no research experience.
- It was based on nothing but clinical opinion.
- He was a part-time clinical professor as a psychoanalyst.
- And it was horrible.
- It was very misogynistic.
- He would always say 90% of the time, it was mothers alienating a father.
Some examples of parental alienating; Telling false stories about the parent, telling negative stories, not communicating with the parent with the other parent, and not allowing access. Inflexible, Pretty restricting, acting like the other parent is dangerous, portraying them as difficult or scary to the child. These are all things that can do damage to a child's relationship with that parent.
The cases most strongly presented to the court are when there's actual physical withholding of the children. Everyone asks at what point can the child decide they don't want to go in the visit, and it's not going to matter. There is no actual age that a child can determine if they want to go in for a visit.
Do we talk about the effects on the children of this behavior by their parents?
Do we talk about what tips would you give the other non-alienating parent?
If you could manage to tell good stories, boost their image, be flexible, promote access, and promote that relationship, your child benefits from that relationship. If you damage that relationship, you are hurting your child. Parental alienation, when it's severe, is considered child abuse.
Most of the time, both parents share some responsibility for this. Maybe one parent is doing a lot of the alienating behaviors, but the other parent might be doing some as well.

Help your friends who may be going through a divorce go from victim to victorious and bitter to better.

If you like The Ex-it Strategy, visit our website to subscribe free, and you'll never miss an episode. And if you like the Ex-it Strategy, We'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two).

Divorcing in Today's Real Estate Market

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 26 Jul 2022 04:00:00 -0400

In this episode

Meredith Pope is a realtor with Inhabit Real Estate. And Christina Jasper is a mortgage lender and the branch manager at Benchmark Mortgage.
They both specialize in helping people going through divorce and separation work and helping people decide what they're gonna do with their house? Who's gonna keep it, and how are we gonna finance it?
A lot of times, the house is the biggest asset or cash asset. They may have some retirement or something, but that's all people many going through divorce have to divide.
Christina and Meredith explain that it is possible for you to make a stable financial plan when you've had to take care of the kids for five years or have a lower-paying job.
Rental prices are going up. This is the best time for those folks actually because the market is cooling off a little bit, and there are more opportunities now than there were even a couple of months ago.
They explain that communication should be separate because there are so many opportunities to disagree. Meredith, and people like her, can serve as that much-needed mediation.
Christina and Meredith recommend resolving the financial issues, contract, and separation agreement first and THEN putting custody or custody and child support in a court order because you can modify those in the future.
One reason they love their job is seeing their clients making individual decisions when they're used to making joint decisions. They go from not knowing which end is up to empowered individuals capable of making it on their own.

Help your friends who may be going through a divorce go from victim to victorious and bitter to better.

If you like The Ex-it Strategy, visit our website to subscribe free, and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like the Ex-it Strategy, We'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two).

Who's Speaking Up for the Kids? with Kelli McGonagle

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 05 Jul 2022 04:00:00 -0400

In this episode

Kelli declared at eight years old that she wanted to be an attorney. Her caring and compassionate nature, and her passion for advocating for children, led her to the practice of family law.
Kelli seeks to help families through some of the most difficult times in their lives while keeping the best interest of the children and her clients at the forefront when advocating on their behalf.
Kelli is originally from South Carolina but enjoyed her undergrad years in the mountains of North Carolina at Western Carolina University where she majored in Business Law. After graduation, Kelli headed west to the University of Tulsa College of Law where she worked on her first family law cases as a student with the Boesche Legal Clinic, and later as a Licensed Legal Intern at a family law firm. Kelli was admitted to practice in Florida and began her legal career with Children’s Legal Services of the Florida Department of Children and Families, advocating for abused and neglected children. Kelli and her family relocated back to North Carolina in 2009 and refocused her practice on serving families here in the triangle area.
When not assisting clients, Kelli serves as a volunteer Guardian ad Litem with District 11, being the voice of children who are abused, neglected, or dependent. As a board member of the Cleveland Area Backpack Buddies, she is privileged to work with an outstanding group of volunteers and area elementary schools to alleviate the needs of food-insecure children and families in her community. At the heart of all Kelli does, are her four daughters. She and her husband enjoy cheering them on in all that they do and spending time together as a family.
We discuss what to expect when you first reach out to a lawyer. It's important to remember that you can turn back, it doesn't mean you have to get separated or divorced but you can get all the info you need to make an informed decision.
Often times people see us after getting separated and don't have the benefit of the advice we could have offered before taking some actions.
We discuss the importance of not just googling for information or relying on what a friend learned from their divorce because the information may get lost in translation or not be applicable to your case.

Help your friends who may be going through a divorce go from victim to victorious and bitter to better.

If you like The Ex-it Strategy, visit our website to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like the Ex-it Strategy, We'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two).

Domestic Abuse: Identifying, Getting Help and Providing Support (Part 2)

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 21 Jun 2022 04:00:00 -0400

In this episode

Tasha Sullivan, MSW – Senior Director of Domestic Violence Services talks about what InterAct is and how it can help people who find themselves in an abusive relationship.
InterAct is the only provider of domestic violence and sexual assault services in Wake County, North Carolina - saving lives, rebuilding lives, and securing safer futures for individuals and families in our community.
Tasha started at InterAct as a volunteer and has now been there for over 15 years.
Everyone can be affected by domestic violence, it does not discriminate.
InterAct has multiple 24-hour programs and they are most busy in the middle of the night.

Tasha talks about all the programs that InterAct offers to the community:

InterAct’s three 24-hour crisis lines serve as lifelines for victims and survivors of domestic and sexual violence who need to take immediate steps toward achieving safety.
InterAct has a full-time presence in each of Wake County’s two domestic violence courtrooms. Additionally, victims of domestic violence can electronically file for a domestic violence protective order at InterAct.
InterAct provides individual counseling, case management, and support to victims and survivors of rape and sexual assault.
InterAct’s Emergency Shelter Program serves as a “home away from home” for Wake County families who have experienced domestic violence and need emergency shelter.

Mentioned in this episode:

If you're interested in volunteering all the opportunities are listed on the website.

Help your friends who may be going through a divorce go from victim to victorious and bitter to better.

If you like The Ex-it Strategy, visit our website to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like the Ex-it Strategy, We'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two).

Domestic Abuse: Identifying, Getting Help and Providing Support (Part 1)

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 07 Jun 2022 04:00:00 -0400

In this episode

Today's guest is Ryan Kelly, MSW, Associate Director of Victim Services from InterAct.
Ryan shares about her role and InterAct and how she helps survivors of domestic abuse.
Ryan shares about the ways domestic violence shows up in relationships, physical abuse is often only one piece of the problem. She breaks down the power and control wheel that is taking control over their partner.
Do you feel like you have the autonomy to do what you want to do and feel safe? This is a good gauge to identify if you are in an abusive relationship.
We highlight how domestic violence does not discriminate against race, sex, or socioeconomics.
We talk about what to look for in relationships that could be red flags of domestic abuse:
- Does it progress quickly
- You see an attack on autonomy
- The perpetrator attacks healthy relationships in the survivor
Ending a relationship with an abusive partner can be dangerous.
We need to become better at listening because people in an abusive relationship may not directly disclose abuse.
We also need to get better at believing people when they disclose abuse and not find excuses for abusive behavior.
You don't need to know the truth to support someone, often asking questions about the nature of the abuse can cause the survivor to feel like you are victim-blaming.
The National Coalition to Against Domestic Violence estimates about 10 million men and women in the United States experience intimate partner violence per year.
The pandemic exasperated the instances of domestic abuse.
The good news is that a lot of people transition successfully from being victims to survivors.

Mentioned in this episode:

If you're interested in volunteering at InterAct all the opportunities are listed on the website.

Help your friends who may be going through a divorce go from victim to victorious and bitter to better.

If you like The Ex-it Strategy, visit our website to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like the Ex-it Strategy, We'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two).

How to Effectively Communicate with a Hostile Ex

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 10 May 2022 04:00:00 -0400

In this episode

Lepage Associates is home to a highly experienced team of experts dedicated to helping you with your concerns.
They recognize that when people seek a psychologist, therapy, or psychiatric services, they are experiencing a problem they would like solved.
By the time you start to think about seeking a mental health service, you have likely tried at least some alternatives, and those have not improved the situation to your satisfaction or given you the answers you seek.
BIFF: Quick Responses to High Conflict People, Their Hostile Emails, Personal Attacks, and Social Media Meltdowns
Dr. Lepage gives an overview of what her practice does.
We talk about ways to communicate with ex-spouses that are not disruptive to co-parenting.
"Brief" is a really good communication style to learn.
The more irritated or agitated we are, the harder it is to be our best selves as a parent that day. So to the extent, we can keep boundaries in our own lives and not jump into these pools of hostility when we don't have to, it's not only great for our own mental health, but it's great for our parenting.

Rules for effective communication

Always ask, "Do I need to reply to this at all?"
Leave out the three "A's"
- Advice
- Admonishments
- Apologies

Mentioned in this episode:

Help your friends who may be going through a divorce go from victim to victorious and bitter to better.

If you like The Ex-it Strategy, visit our website to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like the Ex-it Strategy, We'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two).

Open Marriages: Define it and Notarize it.

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 19 Apr 2022 04:00:00 -0400

In this episode

We talk about the Will Smith and Chris Rock drama, and how Will's marriage is well known as a non-traditional or open marriage.
We share about open marriage stories we've heard as lawyers.
We are great at drafting contracts, if you'd like a non-traditional marriage agreement reach out to us.
What percentage of marriages are open? Less than 1%.
What percentage of open marriages end in divorce? 92%
In North Carolina, the Paramore can get in trouble by two claims: Alienation of Affection and Criminal Conversation.
- Criminal conversation is basically the simple fact that you had sex with a married person.
- Alienation of Affection is basically you have interfered in this relationship, this marriage, and had an affair with the person and caused them to leave their spouse.
Most of these claims typically settle instead of going to trial, generally, they're used as a negotiation point.

Help your friends who may be going through a divorce go from victim to victorious and bitter to better.

If you like The Ex-it Strategy, visit our website to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like the Ex-it Strategy, We'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two).

Giving Grace and Growing Resilience

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 05 Apr 2022 11:16:32 -0400

In this episode

SAFEchild stands for Stop Abuse For Every Child and is a Wake County organization that offers a full range of child abuse prevention and intervention services to children and families at no cost.
Cristin DeRonja, SAFEchild’s executive director since 2015, joined the organization in 2004 and has served many roles. She has worked with first-time moms as a mentor for SAFEchild’s Welcome Baby program, drawn upon her family systems training as a program facilitator for several SAFEchild parenting groups, including the Nurturing Program and PLUS, and presented the Funny Tummy Feelings program in schools to first graders.
Cristin was instrumental in establishing the SAFEchild Advocacy Center in 2010 and achieving SAFEchild’s National Accreditation in 2017.
Cristin shares about the services offered to parents both victims and abusers that focus on stopping the cycle of abuse and rehabilitation.
Some of the biggest protective factors that decrease child maltreatment is having positive social connections.
- We discuss how COVID has impacted SAFEchild over the past few years.
It is very easy to access the services of SAFEchild by visiting their website and filling out the intake form.
They offer free parenting classes, medical evaluations, and more.
Cristin offers advice to parents: "You don' need to have all the answers yourself. Knowledge is power."

In This Episode:

Help your friends who may be going through a divorce go from victim to victorious and bitter to better.

If you like The Ex-it Strategy, visit our website to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like the Ex-it Strategy, We'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two).

You Got Served

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 22 Mar 2022 04:00:00 -0400

In this episode

Jamie comes back onto the show for a second time.
Jamie is a private investigator that works for Blackman Detective Services.
We talk about serving papers and how important it is to keep a case moving in the court system.
We talk about the different levels of serving people that private detectives take, but that doesn't always work smoothly so they have to find the person and hand the papers to them personally.
PI's have even used newspaper ads to find hard-to-find people.
Jamie shares some funny stories of times when people were being difficult that are sure to make you laugh.

In This Episode:

blackmenpi.com
Call them at 919-821-0016

Help your friends who may be going through a divorce go from victim to victorious and bitter to better.

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Super Lawyer Answers to Frequently Asked Questions

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 08 Mar 2022 04:00:00 -0500

In this episode, Elizabeth and Sarah provide answers to some of the most frequently asked questions regarding North Carolina divorce law.

Some of these questions include:

Do you really have to be separated a year to file for divorce?
What if the other party will not leave your home?
Do you have to have a separation agreement or court order to be legally separated?
Why is the day of separation so important?
Can you and your spouse use the same divorce attorney?
What is the difference between legal and physical custody?
What does the court look at when determining custody?
Why do I have to provide so much financial information to my attorney and the other side?

Help your friends who may be going through a divorce go from victim to victorious and bitter to better.

If you like The Ex-it Strategy, visit our website to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like the Ex-it Strategy, We'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two).

Getting Under to Get Over: When to Start Dating Again

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 15 Feb 2022 04:00:00 -0500

In This Episode:

Infidelity relationships outside of the marriage account for almost 60% of separation and divorces.
This episode airs the day after Valentine's Day 2022, so happy valentines day!
How soon can you date:
- At least wait until you're separated, (legally, not just a verbal agreement)
When you're separated in NC, you have to be separated for a year and a day before you can get divorced.
We talk about all the issues that can come up from dating during your separation.
We discuss some of North Carolina's outdated laws.
We suggest not talking about your dating, separation, or divorce on social media.
Consider not introducing the person you are dating to your children until they have time to heal and adjust from the divorce.
Elizabeth talks about the four-seasons rule. This means being with someone with all four seasons to get to know them more completely.
We talk about how judges consider common arguments given by people going through a divorce when it comes to dating, kids, and co-parenting agreements.
If you're still in the middle of custody issues and you still got a custody trial come. For sure, that girlfriend or boyfriend is going to be subpoenaed to come and testify at court. And they're going to get all their documents subpoenaed until you're just making it even more difficult.

Help your friends who may be going through a divorce go from victim to victorious and bitter to better.

If you like The Ex-it Strategy, visit our website to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like the Ex-it Strategy, We'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two).

Divorcing in a Pandemic

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 07 Dec 2021 04:00:00 -0500

In This Episode:

During the pandemic there has been an increase in domestic violence. We have to protect people in violent relationships. That's something we've observed just as family law enterprise.
We also talk about coming out of the pandemic (we hope), and what we've learned just in our practice, people staying at home together. Did it make their situation better or worse?
What do you do when you and your spouse or ex have different opinions on vaccinations, even before the pandemic?
How has covid changed the dating environment for people who have gone through separation/divorce, and now they find themselves getting back in the playing field. COVID has complicated dating for sure.
That's why our job is challenging sometimes is that people are on different ends of the spectrum and can't find a middle ground and if it becomes a legal issue like a separation or custody agreement, it can be difficult to navigate those challenges without some outside help, especially when people find themselves at an impasse or tend to bring out the worst in each other.
We talk through the crazy housing market and how to deal with that. Some couples may not be able to afford to purchase two new places either financially or because of availability and find themselves faced with learning how to live together with their ex.
Our job, as your attorney, is to let you live your life and parent your children. We get to be the bitch. We get to determine when to talk to the other party.
Our job is to get you out of this mess and let you work on yourself.
We discuss whether we feel that virtual mediations are still as effective as in-person mediations were pre-COVID or do they have their advantages or disadvantages?
Question: Have you seen or heard a lot of people that just feel like right now it's too expensive to get divorced with some of the stuff that happened with COVID?

Help your friends who may be going through a divorce go from victim to victorious and bitter to better.

If you like The Ex-it Strategy, visit our website to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like the Ex-it Strategy, We'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two).

Save the Holiday Drama for Your Mama

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 23 Nov 2021 04:00:00 -0500

In This Episode:

We talk about custody issues that come up during the holidays. What to do and what to avoid if you're dealing with a contentious or congenial custody dispute this holiday season.
When thinking about your custody agreement this season it's important to think long term: think about what's important to you, what traditions you want to have going forward.
We discuss some other do's and don'ts about the holidays. Issues like don't drink too much when you have your kid because it may be something that makes its way into court or your custody agreement.
Your feelings through the holidays are valid, whether you are single or divorced.
Over this holiday season, take care of yourself. Invest in your self-care, take a hot bath. But, especially if you're going through the separation process and there's litigation. Watch yourself and don't do anything that is in the heat of your emotions that could blow up everything regarding a custody agreement.
Change takes time for people to adapt and just be careful going through the holidays and recognizing that for your kid's state of mind as well. And please give yourself some grace. This isn't easy stuff to go through.
People celebrate and grieve and they do things for themselves in different ways. So you just find what works for you.

Links To Things I Talk About:

Help your friends who may be going through a divorce go from victim to victorious and bitter to better.

If you like The Ex-it Strategy, visit our website to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like the Ex-it Strategy, We'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two).

Custody Schedules: How Bitter are You?

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 09 Nov 2021 11:00:00 -0500

In This Episode:

There are all sorts of ways to handle custody agreements. In the best-case scenario, we would hopefully be able to resolve custody with some sort of parenting agreement or separation agreement.
How do you enforce a contract? First of all, what do you need to have a contract? You need two reasonable people, even though they both have a position they want, are willing to (not necessarily meet in the middle) but compromise.
We talk about the differences between a parenting agreement and a separation agreement.
There is not a template for custody. People have different needs specific to their family, different temperaments, what is important to them, mental health issues, etc.
We discuss what happens when one party breaches the contract.
Who controls the decisions for your children, especially when it affects the other parent? What are ways to navigate these issues?
We discuss what terms you can include in your custody or separation agreements.
What happens when your ex starts to date? Can you control whether or not they bring their significant others around your children? The answer might surprise you.
If you came into contact with certain issues in your marriage it is likely that similar or the same issues will show up in your co-parenting relationship.
We talk about the role of parenting coordinators and their role in separation agreements and parenting agreements.
We discuss what a court order is and how it can be useful when people don't hold up their end of the agreement.
It's important to document issues that come up with your custody arrangement with your spouse, keep good factual records not a record of your feelings. "You call your friends you text your ex."

Links To Things I Talk About:

The origin of the phrase "Mind your Ps and Qs."
If you're listening and you think you might need a parenting agreement or can, or it's all issues, separation agreement, then, talk to your attorney or us. Or if there are issues already with co-parenting really consider doing a custody consent order.

Help your friends who may be going through a divorce go from victim to victorious and bitter to better.

If you like The Ex-it Strategy, visit our website to subscribe free and you'll never miss an episode. And if you really like the Ex-it Strategy, We'd appreciate you telling a friend (maybe even two).

Mom Life with Special Guest Fizzy

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 12 Oct 2021 04:00:00 -0400

Today's guest is Fizzy she is the Senior Paralegal and Operations Manager at New Direction Family Law. What started her love for family law was Fizzy's own experiences as a victim and survivor of domestic violence and her experience with custody battles and working with the court system. This also gives her another level of empathy that she is able to use to help her clients. Fizzy talks about how hard it is being a single mom and how some people wish that the other parent would disappear but she does not wish that on anyone. Fizzy talks about the importance of community and the community that she found were the moms of her son's friends. Fizzy talks about how one of the hardest things about being a single mom in her situation is being able to help her son emotionally when it comes to the complicated relationship with the father and navigating whether or not he wants a relationship with him. Fizzy talks to people who are currently stuck in domestic violence and how they can get out and there is light on the other side of the tunnel. As Fizzy's son is growing up she now has to navigate the world of teaching her son how to be respectful and kind especially when it comes to dating. They all talk about the importance of seeing a mental health professional and how to get over the things that are holding you back from receiving help for you and your child. Fizzy talks about how her child is biracial and the talks that she has had to have with him and how him growing up is a lot different from the way she got to grow up but he has found coaches to help mentor him. Fizzy's best advice for single parents is to make a plan and to stick to that plan so that they can be prepared.

Dad Life with special guest Tim

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 21 Sep 2021 04:00:00 -0400

In today's episode, they talk to Tim about his experience of the long custody battle for his daughter and his experience as a single dad raising a multiracial daughter.

Tim shares that in his experience we live in a society where mothers are often given preference when it comes to custody and how he had to overcome that stigma to win custody in the court system.

After going to court regularly over the past 6 years Tim now has full custody. We talk candidly about how that extended process has impacted the life of his daughter.

Tim shares advice on how to handle it when the other parenting party is saying negative things about you to your child and how in that situation you need to take on a more empathetic role. You should not talk negatively about your spouse in front of your child as it can lead to choosing sides or pitting the child against the other parent.

What's the best advice Tim can give to anyone who is going to court after a divorce to fight for custody? It's the importance of having a strong support system, having the right kind of relationship with your attorney, and presenting a clear, consistent, and case with details and facts.

He goes into even more depth about the cultural bias that is surrounded by single dads and how he has navigated through that and also some of the interactions he has had with other parents.

In his closing remarks, Tim shares how in his experience you need to ascertain when to go to court and when to let it go. Often times things that seem like big issues can be worked out with the spouse instead of lengthy and expensive court sessions. This can be particularly difficult when the other parent is challenging but you need to choose your battles.

Marriage is Hard. Divorce is Hard. Choose Your Hard.

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 27 Jul 2021 04:00:00 -0400

In this episode of the Exit Strategy, we are joined in the studio by the hosts of the Girls That Do Stuff podcast, Sarah Madras and Jenny Midgley.

Elizebeth and Sarah talk about how they don't necessarily want or push people to get a divorce, their job is to come to the best solution to everyone's problems. Although many people who have gotten as far as consulting a divorce attorney already have their mind made up.

Sarah talks about how she keeps her wedding dress on a mannequin outside of her room because "why not display something that you spent so much money on." She is setting the stage for walking down the hall to their bedroom to remind them of their wedding vows.

Jenny talks about her wedding day and the issues that happened leading up to her big day.

We discuss and debunk the stereotypical roles of husband and wife and talk about how they have evolved.

We talk about the importance of flexibility when choosing a partner and discuss the "red flags" that you need to look for in your partner before you decide to get married.

Sarah talks about how John Gottman the marriage researcher and his retreat helped her marriage. It gave them tools for communication that revolutionized their relationship.

Sarah and Jenny talk about navigating friendships with people outside of your marriage and their opinions about getting professional help.

We talk candidly about the seasons of marriage, what they are and how to navigate through them in a healthy way that can make your relationship stronger.

If you'd like to hear some advice from people who have worked hard on their marriage about what worked for them, how it's not always the honeymoon phase, and how it takes work to make it work, then this episode is for you.

You have to choose your "hard." Staying in a marriage is hard. Divorce is hard. The choice is up to you.

Your Ex Needs a Psych Eval and Maybe You Do Too with Julianne Ludlam, Ph.D.

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 13 Jul 2021 04:00:00 -0400

Dr. Ludlam has her Master’s degree in Early Childhood Risk and Prevention from Harvard University and a Ph.D. from Alliant International University in Clinical Psychology. Her research and clinical interests have centered around the topic of trauma and trauma-related disorders.

We also spend some time talking about parental evaluations. She is primarily responsible for doing evaluations both for diagnostic purposes and for court cases.

We talk through what often leads up to the court order for psychological evaluations. They can be very beneficial for the court and often therapeutic for the person being evaluated.

There are a couple of types of evaluations. One is where every party, husband, wife, new boyfriend, new girlfriend, and kids are processed. Those are often long and can be expensive.

They also do parental capacity evaluations. Although there is no test for what makes someone a good parent so they look at multiple things like personality traits, are there disorders, do collateral interviews with people who could observe the person parenting, look at health records, mental health records. They are multi-modal and multi-source. It's only after weighing all the elements that they can make recommendations.

Cases are often not clear-cut in favor of single custody. The goal is two healthy parents and giving them the tools to get there.

The first step is an interview. Your side of the story. Start to finish. Then we do psychological testing.

Judges really depend on the expertise of the evaluators because they have no dog in the fight as a non-biased third-party source.

There are some cases where children in a divorce case are interviewed. We talk about parental alienation. What is it? Why is it brought up so much in divorce cases? It's pretty complex. It's not just one thing. It involves things like communication, how they talk about the other parent, are they sharing information, are they restricting access. Many parents don't realize they are doing even doing it.

You can find out more about Dr. Ludlam and her firm KKJ Forensic & Psychological Services on their website.

Separation Agreement or Court: What You Should Know (Part 2)

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 29 Jun 2021 04:00:00 -0400

You're going to get a court date and have the opportunity to state your case before a judge, but it can be a long road. It can be for two months. It may be six months. You can ask your spouse to pay child support or your bills during this time, but it is not guaranteed. This is the reason many divorce attorneys and counselors suggest prenup agreements.

The custody is often decided in an hour in court. Most judges default to 50/50 custody unless there are obvious situations.

So how do you prepare for court? Your attorney will prep you for your testimony and get comfortable telling your story. Your attorney will prep you to know the dates in your story. Your attorney cannot lead you through. You need to rehearse and be prepared.

Often the best advice would be to go to mediation and settle and avoid going to court. But from the beginning of the process, you need to be honest with your attorney for them to best help you.

Never make up an answer. You can say I don't remember or ask to see the message if asked about a text message.

We walk you through a typical four-hour trial. What you can expect, and how you can be prepared. This unique behind-the-scenes tour of a traditional divorce case may open your eyes, but you will learn a lot about how to conduct yourself in court, what to do, what not to do, and how to best prepare for your opportunity tell your story to the judge.

Divorce Survival Guide: Reality Checks & Richard Obsessions

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 08 Jun 2021 04:00:00 -0400

When he’s not sketching random thoughts, he’s running a podcast about the NJ Punk Scene from the late 90s to early 2000s. He also owns an animation company. We chat about creating his comic @dailyBred and how he wrote his first book and, later, his most recent book, The Couple's Checklist.

Every day he wakes up and draws his comic and posts it to his Instagram. The character is basically him and his thoughts.

After a year or so of drawing the character, Mike put together a book of a collection of his comic. He created "How to get Divorced." In writing the book, he discovered he was sharing his divorce story.

Mike candidly shares the story of his divorce and the emotions he went through you during the divorce process and eventually forgiving his ex.

From his perspective, it felt like they went from very loving one day, the relationship ended. Part of dealing with the loss of his marriage, Mike sold all his possessions and hit the road to Austin, Texas, with plans to travel up to Seattle as well. He gave up drinking for five months. Nothing seems to help. He heard of LandMark and attended the seminar, which some people think is a cult. Someone at the seminar said, "I just realized he was just not into me," and it clicked for him.

He felt like he needed to forgive his wife and the person for who she left him. He felt like he regained control of his life. But that didn't magically fix everything. He still had issues with relationships and personal growth to accomplish. He had to learn to let go of not wanting to date.

Divorce: It Takes a Village

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 25 May 2021 08:10:09 -0400

We highly recommend you check out Kate's podcast, The Divorce Survival Guide. She is also a certified divorce coach and we talk about what that means.

"Should I stay or should I go?" is an area that she coaches people on, she also has an online course of the same name.

Kate shares her story about how she got into divorce and discernment coaching.

After her successful career in acting (including Grey's Anatomy) and successful divorce. She learned it's not simple, or cut and dry. Her and her ex have spent a lot of time doing therapy, recovery, and putting in the work.

I help women heal from emotional abuse and work through the process of discerning that throughout their divorce. ~ Kate Anthony

You can find a large community of people on the Should I Stay or Should I go her Facebook page. It's heavily moderated and a strong community for people looking for support.

“No matter what stage of the process you’re at, there is always someone whose life parallels yours and who you can take comfort in. As alone as I’ve felt at times, I realize that I am far from alone in this group.” ~Kate Anthony.

50% percent of first-time marriages, 67% of second marriages, and 74% of third marriages end in divorce.

One of the things that Kate has learned and in doing this for as long as she has is that most women who come to her if you're up in the middle of the night Googling, should I stay or should I go? And you land on my page and you call her, or you join her Facebook group you're not in a really healthy, happy relationship. Women don't know that they get to choose. We spend so much time waiting. We wait for men to ask us on dates. We wait for men to ask us to dance. We wait for them to ask us to marry them. We wait. And so we spend most of our lives, not an active choice about the relationships that we're in, but you do have the ability to choose.

Separation Agreement or Court: What You Should Know (Part 1)

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 04 May 2021 04:00:00 -0400

It's a common misconception that you have to file certain paperwork when you want to separate, but this is not the case. We talk about one of the first steps to getting a separation which is a separation agreement.

A separation document is a contract to agree on how you want to go about things like child support and how you want to handle your finances.

We talk about a few things that people without separation agreements do and how much of a mess they have made for both parties.

One of the downsides of a separation agreement is the other party can decide not to sign it or not take it very seriously. If this should happen, we recommend that you go up to your ex-spouse and have an open-ended conversation about important matters with them.

So you want to start your separation agreement, but you don't know where to start? It would be best if you started by gathering all of your important financial documents to fully inform your legal team to give you the best legal advice that we can offer.

What do you put into your separation agreement? You put in who will have custody and the details of that custody agreement in there and how you want to handle your finances from here. We advise you don't put too much in there, but you can really put whatever you feel is necessary to have a successful separation.

When you or your partner does not abide by your agreement, we will try to negotiate without going to court, but if one party does not hold up their end of the deal, it will be taken to court, and it is a liable contract.

If you want to change your agreement, if both parties agree, then you can come into the office and get whatever you want to change, whether it is a new custody agreement or if it is a new amount of child support, it can be changed.

Overall, the benefits of a separation agreement are that it is legally binding and that your partner cannot back out if they sign it. It is also helpful because it can save you money by spending less time in court, and it will just be a lot less stress on everyone.

The Kids Are Alright

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 13 Apr 2021 04:00:00 -0400

We talk about how we are excited to be getting vaccines and people are starting to come back into the office.

Will McGlone is a good friend of Jen's and is the guest on the show. We talk a little about college-years and how Jen and Will became friends at ECU.

We are excited to talk to Will about his experience and remembrance of his parent's divorce during his childhood now that he is grown up and has a wife and children of his own. Will's parents got divorced when he was five years old.

Many people think that the kids don't know what going on when mom and dad are fighting all the time, but we believe the kids know.

Will talks about how his parents told him they were going to get a separation and we share the stories of when our parent's told us as well.

Custody can be one of the hardest things to understand as a child and is often misunderstood from the child's perspective. It is difficult when one of the parents moves states away and it changes the dynamic of the relationship.

One thing that seems to be a unifier in stories of divorce is the desire for the children of divorce to raise their kids in a different kind of environment.

With the benefit of age and hindsight, we discuss whether or not we wish our parents would have stayed together. Also, we share advice for the parents going through a divorce about important things kids need to hear during separation and divorce.

We know it may feel difficult or impossible right now but kids are resilient and they will be okay in the long run.

Take It or Leave It: Things you can or can't take when you leave your marriage.

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 30 Mar 2021 04:00:00 -0400

As divorce attorneys, we get asked this question a lot. We cover it in depth in this episode. It's important that you have a plan for leaving a relationship and this information can save you a lot of time and stress.

Marriage Advice from Divorce Attorneys

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 16 Mar 2021 04:00:00 -0400

The benefit of Premarital Legal counseling is that we would just tell you what happens, for example, if you open a joint bank account or you keep your money separate, or you inherit a million dollars from your grandfather? So marriage and of itself is legally recognized by the state. It is under the realm of law. So why not understand the laws that have to do with marriage?

This is different than premarital counseling in that it is not designed to help you uncover and process emotions.

Do you understand how the laws work around property in North Carolina? What about credit card debt? This can be very eye-opening for couples and help facilitate important conversations that many young couples may not think to have before tying the knot.

Many couples assume that their money in their 401K is theirs alone and in the event of a divorce they keep it all, or their money is in a separate bank account so they wouldn't need to share it. This is incorrect. What about debt from college? What about credit card debt? What about a family inheritance? The answers may surprise you.

These are important conversations to have before marriage.

Once you get married you have a fiduciary duty to your spouse, we unpack what that means.

We also talk about issues surrounding privacy and access to accounts, knowledge of passwords, and locked phones. You should be aware of where your accounts are, your bank, mortgage company, etc. Privacy is another conversation best facilitated before problems arise and can be another component of Premarital Legal Counseling.

A simple conversation about budgeting, how you want to budget, what your financial goals are can be very beneficial to engaged couples.

Step by Step, Day by Day: The Good, Bad & Ugly of Step-Parenting

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 02 Mar 2021 04:00:00 -0500

There is a good chance if you get divorced and have children that step-parents will be a part of your future. It's not all bad, but emotions can run high.

We prefer the word bonus-parent instead of step-parent.

We discuss the story from E-News about Kate Hudson and their podcast called Sibling Revelry where they talk about the drama surrounding the stepbrothers and sisters and step-parents in their lives.

We answer many of the common questions that we hear as attorneys about step-parents. If the child is safe most courts are going to encourage building a relationship with their bonus family. Even though emotions about it may run hot, we encourage people to get counseling and focus on co-parenting.

When do people introduce children to a possible new spouse. We talk about the options and offer our insights.

In the majority of our cases when step-parents come into the picture it's a good thing.

We talk about TPR, which is the termination of parental rights and how that will lead to step-parent adoptions. These cases can be some of the most meaningful cases for our attorneys. We don't get a lot of happy days in court but step-parent adoptions are very special.

Divorce Your Ex, and Your Social Media

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 16 Feb 2021 04:00:00 -0500

Social media. We love to hate it. On average people are spending hours every day on social media.

Some of the ways social media can change our lives:

Social media is distracting us from actually spending time with one another.
The ability to stalk each other.
We are oversharing.
We are more likely to become addicted to attention.
Focusing on strangers' lives rather than our own.
Jumping to conclusions.

We put our best lives on social media but nobody knows what's behind those pictures.

Dating apps and social media have made it easier to immediately connect with someone. This could lead to us looking for something new and better instead of working on existing relationships.

After the demise of a relationship, what should you know about your social media accounts? Simply put, don't be dumb. Use common sense when posting about old and new relationships because it is likely that information could be used against you in your divorce and separation.

Judges don't like people blasting their ex on social media. Not to mention your child or your child's friends' parents can find your dirty laundry you air on social media.

We talk about how this generation was given the advice to not post a picture of yourself having a beer on social media and now a bunch of people from the previous generation was posting selfies in the nation's capital during the siege. Facebook is the number one source for online divorce evidence.

Here is a simple list of DON'Ts for your social media during your separation and divorce:

Don't forget to change your passwords
Don't take selfie's at the courthouse
Don't badmouth your former spouse
Don't badmouth the judge
Don't allow yourself to be tagged inappropriate photos
Don't post anything you wouldn't want to be read on the stand
Don't use your friends as a social media spy
Don't forget to disconnect clouded services so your texts and photos don't show up on your ex's device.
Don't lie to your attorney about what's out there

1 in 3 divorces starts as an online affair. 25% of couples fight about Facebook at least once per week. 30% of Tinder users are married. Less than half of people confront their spouses about what they discover online.

Everyone Has a Right to Security

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 02 Feb 2021 09:23:51 -0500

The ruling is on the domestic violence protective order. You have to allege certain relationship statuses to have standing to really move for this under our current statutes.

Currently, you have to show that you are spouses or former spouses to get a domestic violence protective order. Or that you are persons of the opposite sex who are not married, but had lived together or currently live together, that you have a child in common or a parent and child or grandparent-grandchild relationship.

Those words "opposite sex" are in our statute. You could not, before this case came down, if you were in a same-sex relationship, seek a domestic violence protective order. Until this came down we were the only state in the country that did not provide equal protection for people who are in a same-sex relationship.

At the trial court level, the plaintiff, the person asking for the protective order went to the domestic violence court in Wake County and asked for this. And the judge said these facts are egregious. This is awful what happened. And where had you been in an Opposite sex relationship you would get a protective order, but since you are not, I cannot find that domestic violence occurred because the statute does not afford that to you. And then that was appealed to the court of appeals, which is where we got our recent order from thankfully.

If you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship what are some resources/options for them?

Reach out to Interact of Wake County
Talk to a friend or loved one that you trust and make a plan to get out of that relationship
Talk to an attorney

Boobs Versus Dudes

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 19 Jan 2021 04:00:00 -0500

Back in the day, we had the tender years doctrine that if you had a small child that the mother stayed home for most of it. That played into many custody decisions. The roles of men and women in marriage have changed a lot in the past 50 years. The current law says there is no preference one way or another.

Although most of the cases we try are boobs versus dudes, there are cases where it's dudes versus dudes or boobs versus boobs...

While we empathize with parents who are living in a new normal where they don't get to see their child as often as they would like because of divorce, it's not always the case anymore that custody goes to the mother. Many fathers step up and that's what we want to see because it is often in the best interest of the children.

Just because dad hasn't done it, doesn't mean he can't or doesn't deserve a chance to try.

Most cases in wake county start at 50-50 custody agreement with no preference.

You can't take a 100% household and divide it into two 100% houses. There will need to be a compromise.

We discuss the difference between temporary and permanent custody orders.

We talk about nesting, where the kids stay in the same house and mom and dad rotate into that home.

We talk about how sometimes in a courtroom the judge will admonish the parents for being vindictive or not putting the best interest of the kids ahead of their personal feelings.

We talk about the current news of Kelly Clarkson's divorce who was recently awarded primary physical custody due to trust issues between the parties and there being conflict.

12 Myths of Divorce

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 05 Jan 2021 04:00:00 -0500

MYTH #1 - Prenups are only for the rich and famous

Prenups are like insurance for your marriage, never think about divorce when you are getting married but it happens. You don't necessarily have to have wealth at the time you are married but you should have a plan for the wealth you may acquire.

MYTH #2 - Most divorces are nasty drawn-out battles in court

Most? No. Some? Yes. Many people are able to discuss things, have an agreement, and can be simple.

MYTH #3 - If your spouse cheats on you, you will get primary custody of the children

False. The worst husband can be the best father and the worst wife can be the best mother. The only time it will come into play is if your spouse developed a relationship with someone who is not a good person to be around the kids. This could be alcohol or drug problems, etc.

MYTH #4 - There has to be someone at fault to be able to get a divorce in North Carolina

We are a no-fault divorce state, you have to be separated for a year and a day and only one of you has to have the intent to be separated.

MYTH #5 - Divorce without kids are easier

It is not necessarily easier without kids. Pain is pain. Hurt is hurt. There are a lot of different aspects to separation and divorce and you can't necessarily compare yourself with other people.

MYTH #6 - You have to file "separation papers" in order to file for divorce

If you walk out the door with the intent to be separated permanently, you are legally separated and the year and one-day timer start ticking. It does not have anything to do with property, kids, or spousal support. You are separated for all intents and purposes, whether that person wants to be or not, you do not have to be served with anything.

MYTH #7 - I can't move out without an agreement in place because that is abandonment

It is and it isn't. Most of the time it is not. We unpack the differences in our discussion.

MYTH #8 - If we have equal custody, there won't be child support.

In theory that can be true, but it is more than custody time that is taken into consideration. If he makes $150K and she makes $30K then there will likely be child support. This is calculated on guidelines.

MYTH #9 - We've only been married a short time, we need an annulment.

Annulments are rare. Things like illegal marriages, incest, fraud, bigamy, mental disease, and impotence but not the short amount of time many people believe is an option. There may be looser laws in Vegas, but in North Carolina, if you are married for a week, you need to be separated for a year before you can get a divorce.

MYTH #10 - I can't get a divorce because my spouse won't agree to it or sign

It just takes one person to not want to be married. The sheriff will take them their papers.

MYTH #11 - My ex will sign his or her parental rights away

This is not possible. You can relinquish your rights, but there has to be a termination proceeding against you. And that has to be legitimate, you can't just file it or sign a paper.

MYTH #12 - Even though we are separated, my spouse is sleeping with someone else... That's an affair, right?

Legally that's correct, but mostly it is not. It is not a law that is often enforced. We cannot legally recommend that you commit an antiquated crime.

Chris Hicks: Family Law from a Male Perspective

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 22 Dec 2020 04:00:00 -0500

Many people usually think family law attorneys are female. Chris talks through his experiences practicing in a small town to now practicing in Raleigh. Chris has been practicing law for 10 years and is originally from Benson NC.

We discuss the differences in family law courts in rural counties and city counties. Especially in regards to standard visitations. Judges are limited to an hour to hear your case and they start with 50/50 custody and unless something significant is brought up that is usually the normal ruling.

Often times people have an opinion about whether they want their divorce lawyer to be male or female, all our attorneys are very qualified and care about who the client is now what they are.

We ask Chris about working with clients to reach goals that we as their attorney's know they cannot reach. His response: "Regardless of how we think factually or whatnot, their feelings are valid, they are living it. And that's what I tell them a lot of times in that first meeting. I say I've known you for an hour. I don't know your soon to be Ex from Adam. I am hearing what you're saying and we're going to try to do the best we can. My job is to make your life a little bit better by the time we are done, I really cannot solve all your problems."

We talk about how Christmas and the pandemic has made a crazy season for divorce lawyers.

More about Chris:
Chris is a native North Carolinian, born and raised in Benson. After attending the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill where he double-majored in Political Science and Communications, Chris graduated from the Saint Louis University School of Law. Chris joined a law firm in Harnett County shortly after graduating and returned back to North Carolina.

Chris’ early practice focused on family law, but also involved criminal defense, civil litigation, competency proceedings, juvenile defense, veteran’s treatment courts and cases against the Department of Social Services. With this broad range of experience, Chris has been exposed to the many issues that clients may be experiencing during a separation. More importantly, he has helped people going through all types of crises, whether it’s divorce, death, addiction or mental illness.

Chris has narrowed his practice to family law, as this allows him to pursue his passion of connecting with people who need help during difficult times. He also enjoys the process of litigation, from the initial client meeting all the way to trial. Chris works hard to be a champion for his clients through what can seem like a daunting and overwhelming experience.

Away from the office, Chris spends his free time with his wife and daughter, visiting Raleigh-Durham’s museums, restaurants and parks. He also enjoys golf, basketball and fishing.

Digital Forensics with Derek Ellington

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 24 Nov 2020 04:00:00 -0500

Having been involved in the IT industry for 30 years, Derek has seen the change in perception from what personal computers used to seem safe because people used them in the privacy of their homes, to today when it is easy to trace our activities online. He also notices the courtships and illicit affairs are accelerated by technology.

He also unpacks retro sex, which is a phenomenon of reconnecting with someone you haven't seen in 10-30 years and hooking up with them after reconnecting digitally.

In his career of going through 1000s of phones and devices, he has seen virtually everything.

In digital forensics, everything leaves a trace. You may not be able to recover deleted info but you can usually find a trace.

"If someone is engaging in a lot of misconduct, even if it's not infidelity if it's gambling or poor habits... even if they try to cover their tracks, there is going to be some information."

Derek shares a story about a man who was using prostitutes and found a creative way to issue payment. The women he associated with all had amazon wish lists, and he would purchase the items off their list so the only thing he looked guilty of was having a bad amazon habit.

One of the areas that they look at a lot is video game communities. People who play games online can develop just as strong as a relationship as those in real life. If you're a parent who thinks your kid is too young for a phone, but they have a video game platform with an internet connection and camera, you may need to take a closer look.

Derek talked about online privacy, and what happens when privacy is compromised.

You can find out more about Derek on his website. And watch his talk on TikTok mentioned in this epsiode.

Dirty Little Secrets - Private Investigators with Jamie

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 10 Nov 2020 04:00:00 -0500

Jamie bought Blackman Detective Services in November of last year, and they provide full-service PI work. They help attorneys, businesses, and individuals with everything from background checks to criminal investigations, process services, and all the "fun stuff."

In a previous episode, we talked about the alienation of affection and the cheating that goes on in relationships, and how that affects divorce and legal separation. What is needed in court to prove infidelity is inclination and opportunity. It can be difficult to prove, but phone records and evidence collected from a private investigator can seal the deal.

Jamie talks about what it is like following a cheating spouse, what they can and cannot do.

We talk about what an initial consult with a private investigator sounds like and the next steps to start an investigation.

Can trackers be used on cars by private investigators? Yes, but there are rules.
Can you legally record a cheating spouse? We get into the specifics.

The EX-it strategy asks Jamie what most people's reaction is when presented with evidence of infidelity from a private investigator. Often it's denial. Is there a difference in reaction between men and women? Jamie's answer is, "hurt is hurt."

As long as the case originates in North Carolina, Blackman Detective Services can follow that case out of state. They often find workers in other states.

Blackman starts with a retainer and often is billed hourly. A normal domestic case can cost anywhere from $1000-$7000.

We ask what her weirdest case was. The answer may surprise you.

We offer some next steps for spouses who cannot afford legal representation or the services of a private investigator and organizations that can provide help.

You can also check out the Blackman Detective Agency's podcast called "The Sleuth" wherever you get your podcasts.

The emotional fallout of an affair with Dr. Susan Orenstein

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 27 Oct 2020 04:00:00 -0400

Dr. Susan Orenstein is a licensed psychologist and the founder and director of Orenstein Solutions. Susan has committed her professional career to help individuals and couples improve their relationships. She helps her clients learn to communicate more effectively and build intimacy inside and outside of the bedroom.

In our previous episode, we talked about the fallout of affairs and we discuss the emotional side of affairs with Dr. Susan.

Dr. Susan believes that the deceit involved with an affair is one of the most challenging emotions to work through.

We discuss the reasons people cheat with Dr. Susan

A mid-life crisis
Travel for work without setting proper boundaries
Substance abuse
A personal crisis that you are not addressing directly
An exit strategy from an unhappy relationship

Dr. Susan has a podcast called "After the First Marriage" Do you need a sounding board to help you through a divorce? If you’re inundated with divorce advice and aren’t sure how to sift through the good, the bad, and the ugly, tune into the After the First Marriage podcast.

We discuss how couples get intimate again after an affair. Dr. Susan describes several scenarios from her experience counseling couples. And we discuss dealing with the fallout of emotional affairs.

Find out more about Dr. Susan at www.orensteinsolutions.com

Illicit Sexual Behavior

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 13 Oct 2020 04:00:00 -0400

Decisions made to have a physical affair will have an effect on the divorce proceedings, spousal support, and sometimes custody.

In our experience, emotional affairs carry many of the same consequences of physical affairs and occasionally feel more insidious than the actual affair.

We discuss many of the "why's?" that lead up to an affair.

Is the statement, "Once a cheater, always a cheater" true?

What is surprising to many people is that in NC it is actually a crime to have an affair. It's fornication and adultery under the criminal statutes which is a class two felony that doesn't just apply to adultery. It's any adults not married to each other who shall lewdly and lavishly associate, bed, and cohabitate together, They're guilty of a class, two misdemeanors.

This is why we advise our clients to plead the fifth on related questions when in court.

We talk about what evidence we need to collect to prove that an affair happened in a court of law. The answers may surprise you: inclination and opportunity.

We get into the details of the financial repercussions of an affair, who gets awarded what in court, what gets awarded to dependent spouses, custody of children in an affair, and the use of private investigators. We will be joined by a private investigator in the next episode.

We talk about the role of forgiveness in an affair and what that means legally should you get divorced sometime in the future.

NC is one of the few states, six states, that have alienation of affection which is a legal means to sue the paramour (person who was the other person in an affair) If you can to show that you had a loving and strong marriage and this person came in and destroyed that relationship then you can sue them for damages for destroying that relationship.

Lesli Doares - How to be seen and heard in your marriage

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 29 Sep 2020 04:01:00 -0400

Lesli shared why she got started in her practice. A little girl was brought to her who was the rope in her parents' tug of war who was only five at the time. She realized she needed to work with the parents to really be effective at helping people in her situation.

We talk about the myth of the "Mind reading school of marriage." Where we wrongly assume that our spouse can read our mind, know what we're thinking, and what we desire them to do. The solution is to spend a lot of time talking about our expectations.

"Many times you don't know you have expectations until someone violates them." -Lesli

There are some common things that people hear about marriage that it takes work, and it takes compromise, and it takes sacrifice. And I say, if you're doing any of those things, you're heading down the wrong path. When we think of compromise, we think you give up something. I give up something, we meet in the middle sacrifice. We're giving up something. It's the giving up that's the problem. If I feel like I have to give up something, then I opened the door to resentment. Versus if we negotiate to a decision, we're choosing this path. Meaning that the other paths aren't being chosen, we're not giving them up. We're just choosing this and it's a much more positive way of looking at it.

Marriage is a very unique relationship. There are things that undermine it and things that make it stronger. Successful relationships find ways to address those issues. There is also no "normal."

Some of the Ex-It Strategies clients come into the relationship not knowing how they grew apart and what Lesli lets her clients know is that if that's the situation you find yourself in you can learn to grow back together, if you want to.

We discuss discernment counseling. It is a form of counseling that helps people make a decision to either get married, stay married, or file for divorce. It's a very specialized type of counseling that Lesli is trained in.

What are irreconcilable differences?

One of you wants children and the other doesn't
One of you wants to be monogamous and the other doesn't

Other than those two most things can be worked through by a couple willing to do the work.

For Lesli, any issue that someone is addressing is a sign that the marriage can work.

Lesli breaks down her program to help people work through the "chore wars" with the division of labor in the household. It may not ever be equal but you can make it equitable.

How Do You Know When to Go?

New Direction Family Law Firm — Tue, 29 Sep 2020 04:00:00 -0400

Is there a good time to leave a marriage? Our answer is if you are in danger. Questions to consider:

Do you feel safe?
Are you scared?
Are your children safe?

It is time to get a domestic violence protective order. We do that because you can't make the other person go.

Other than that specific situation the answer to when is the good time to leave is: It depends.

Many people decide to wait until the kids are out of high school. We discuss the pros and cons of this approach, but again your situation is different and there is no cookie-cutter answer. That's where a counselor and attorney can help you sort out your feelings to make a decision.

So what if you decide to leave?
We get a lot of questions about how finances will be handled.

There are two main issues to consider. Many people focus on growing their careers and let their unhappy relationships go to the backburner. However, while you are out there building your empire you need to remember that your spouse will likely share in the financial benefits of your effort. Also, people find themselves in the position of wanting to separate but realizing that they cannot afford to split.

We discuss spousal support and what judges want to see from people seeking this type of compensation in a divorce.

What about affairs? When is the right time to leave? Again the answer is "it depends." It really comes into play with spousal support and custody. This may be the time to hire a private investigator. If you are contemplating an affair we advise that you should separate first. The amount of complexity it will add to a divorce is not worth the hassle.

If you choose to work through the affair you can also consider a post-nuptial agreement that lays out what would happen if another affair would occur.

Ex-it Strategy - Meet the Hosts

New Direction Family Law Firm — Wed, 16 Sep 2020 10:59:22 -0400

Elizabeth is from Cary, NC and she grew up in a toxic family with an abusive father. Her parents stayed together for the kids. This is something they hear all the time as family law attorneys. Part of that is why she focuses on family law and it's all she has done professionally. Elizabeth has a master's and bachelor's in social work and worked in the nonprofit field before she began her practice. She has been married and divorced when her child was two so has experienced many of the aspects of divorce both personally and professionally.

Sarah is a native of Raleigh, went to law school at Cambell. She discovered family law and fell in love with it. She loves dealing with people and getting to know them and why they tick. She is a big fan of true crime and juicy stories about understand why people do the things they do and the psychology behind it. She also loves going to court and litigating, the aspect of law that is arguing the law and what's right, and why things should be the way they are as opposed to what the other side things. So family law allows her to practice all these passions while getting to help people and walk beside them on the road of separation, divorce, and custody battles.

Many people may assume the work of family law attorneys would be depressing, but Elizabeth and Sarah feel it's the best job in the world because they get to help make people's lives better every single day.

People don't get married thinking this is only going to last a short time. Most go into it thinking it is for life so when it ends it is like a death. It's traumatic. On this show, we are going to share the good, the bad, the ugly, and over 30 years of stories. Laughter can be a potent medicine to deal with trauma and hardship and we're here to help you find some relief and let you know other people are dealing with this too. You're not crazy for feeling your feelings.

You will also hear from Jen Bordeaux, who is our director of public relations during the show. She helps keep us on track and reach out to the community. We also plan on having special guests to walk through these important and interesting topics on upcoming episodes.

We hope to walk with this through you so when you come out on the other side you go from victim to victor and from bitter to better.

Legal disclaimer:

The information in this podcast is provided for general information purposes. Only it may not reflect the current law in your jurisdiction. We are North Carolina attorneys. And by listening to this episode or any of the other episodes, you understand that there is no attorney-client relationship between you and New Direction Family Law, or Elizabeth, or Sarah and there's no attorney-client relationship here. No information contained in this episode should be construed as legal advice from us or the individual author host guests or anyone else we have on this podcast. And it's not intended to be substituted for legal counsel or subject matter in anything else. No listener of this episode should act or refrain from acting on the basis of any information provided. Included in or assessable through this episode without seeking appropriate legal advice on your particular facts.