Just Trying To Help Transistor (https://transistor.fm) https://feeds.transistor.fm/dilemmas I’m Jake Ernst and I’m a therapist. Life's already hard enough. Managing the stress of modern life shouldn't be. © 2025 Jake Ernst 872d44e7-d2c7-5293-b37f-450684adbf8d no Jake Ernst en Sun, 25 Feb 2024 10:48:37 -0800 Tue, 02 Dec 2025 18:27:10 -0800 https://img.transistor.fm/pIRhRQ6YdDJEP4WMlA4WfW_e4ilBwqYQ4YqiTDnabu0/rs:fill:0:0:1/w:1400/h:1400/q:60/mb:500000/aHR0cHM6Ly9pbWct/dXBsb2FkLXByb2R1/Y3Rpb24udHJhbnNp/c3Rvci5mbS9zaG93/LzQ0MDM5LzE3MDA0/NDc2MDUtYXJ0d29y/ay5qcGc.jpg Just Trying To Help episodic Jake Ernst I’m Jake Ernst and I’m a therapist. Life's already hard enough. Managing the stress of modern life shouldn't be. I’m Jake Ernst and I’m a therapist. Therapy, Relationships, Mental Health, Stress, Jake Ernst, Advice, "How To", How-to, Self-help Jake Ernst mswjake@gmail.com No No The kids who talk like adults The kids who talk like adults full 84797e2b-c975-452c-bfd1-7a21f4848141 https://share.transistor.fm/s/8e5045b0 The case for a slower childhood to help kids congruently meet their developmental milestones. Why we need to resist adultification amidst pressure for kids to think, speak, and act like mini-adults.

]]> The case for a slower childhood to help kids congruently meet their developmental milestones. Why we need to resist adultification amidst pressure for kids to think, speak, and act like mini-adults.

]]> Sun, 25 Feb 2024 10:48:36 -0800 Jake Ernst Jake Ernst 686 The case for a slower childhood to help kids congruently meet their developmental milestones. Why we need to resist adultification amidst pressure for kids to think, speak, and act like mini-adults.

]]> Therapy, Relationships, Mental Health, Stress, Jake Ernst, Advice, "How To", How-to, Self-help No Jake Ernst How social media re-wired us all How social media re-wired us all full e7f4a646-cab2-4d37-a6d3-32dcc5e2f0cd https://share.transistor.fm/s/7d430390 Here’s how social media and mobile internet use re-wired our social and emotional instincts to make us more primal, pre-social, irrational, inward, and inauthentic.

]]> Here’s how social media and mobile internet use re-wired our social and emotional instincts to make us more primal, pre-social, irrational, inward, and inauthentic.

]]> Sun, 18 Feb 2024 08:04:51 -0800 Jake Ernst Jake Ernst 878 Here’s how social media and mobile internet use re-wired our social and emotional instincts to make us more primal, pre-social, irrational, inward, and inauthentic.

]]> Therapy, Relationships, Mental Health, Stress, Jake Ernst, Advice, "How To", How-to, Self-help No Jake Ernst Can the internet replace a parent? Can the internet replace a parent? full 27f9c5e2-3df8-4aae-ae06-854504081aac https://share.transistor.fm/s/533ec6fe Many of today’s kids are being raised by the internet and its apps and algorithms are taking on parent-like roles. Here's how the internet is replacing our connections with companions and caregivers.

]]> Many of today’s kids are being raised by the internet and its apps and algorithms are taking on parent-like roles. Here's how the internet is replacing our connections with companions and caregivers.

]]> Sun, 11 Feb 2024 15:06:51 -0800 Jake Ernst Jake Ernst 709 Many of today’s kids are being raised by the internet and its apps and algorithms are taking on parent-like roles. Here's how the internet is replacing our connections with companions and caregivers.

]]> Therapy, Relationships, Mental Health, Stress, Jake Ernst, Advice, "How To", How-to, Self-help No Jake Ernst The cost of being chronically online The cost of being chronically online full ff55f537-edc2-4cc8-9e47-22a5b045dbc3 https://share.transistor.fm/s/316fe001 A lot has changed over the last few years when it comes to our use of screens, social media, and the internet. It turns out, there are significant costs associated with being online way too much.

]]> A lot has changed over the last few years when it comes to our use of screens, social media, and the internet. It turns out, there are significant costs associated with being online way too much.

]]> Sat, 03 Feb 2024 15:47:34 -0800 Jake Ernst Jake Ernst 778 A lot has changed over the last few years when it comes to our use of screens, social media, and the internet. It turns out, there are significant costs associated with being online way too much.

]]> Therapy, Relationships, Mental Health, Stress, Jake Ernst, Advice, "How To", How-to, Self-help No Jake Ernst We are wired for struggle We are wired for struggle full 810fd0fa-95bf-4a50-816f-8dac79bf0d87 https://share.transistor.fm/s/7f1ecfd7 Unpacking four reasons why struggle is necessary: Stress is required for evolution. Challenge is required for growth. Discomfort is required for adaptation. Frustration is required for resilience.

]]> Unpacking four reasons why struggle is necessary: Stress is required for evolution. Challenge is required for growth. Discomfort is required for adaptation. Frustration is required for resilience.

]]> Sun, 28 Jan 2024 14:07:41 -0800 Jake Ernst Jake Ernst 654 Unpacking four reasons why struggle is necessary: Stress is required for evolution. Challenge is required for growth. Discomfort is required for adaptation. Frustration is required for resilience.

]]> Therapy, Relationships, Mental Health, Stress, Jake Ernst, Advice, "How To", How-to, Self-help No Jake Ernst Living life as avatars of ourselves Living life as avatars of ourselves full 93720df6-1270-4cf6-8b54-5435599a6347 https://share.transistor.fm/s/5670e95d Reflections on a six-month fast from social media. I wanted to share the questions I'm asking myself after taking time away from addictive apps and algorithms.

]]> Reflections on a six-month fast from social media. I wanted to share the questions I'm asking myself after taking time away from addictive apps and algorithms.

]]> Sun, 14 Jan 2024 18:57:27 -0800 Jake Ernst Jake Ernst 993 Reflections on a six-month fast from social media. I wanted to share the questions I'm asking myself after taking time away from addictive apps and algorithms.

]]> Therapy, Relationships, Mental Health, Stress, Jake Ernst, Advice, "How To", How-to, Self-help No Jake Ernst Becoming emotionally honest Becoming emotionally honest full 61046b91-d22e-4dfc-8e4e-cbf2f6a474b7 https://share.transistor.fm/s/882a6fd8 The case for a new direction when it comes to the way we approach our emotions. Emotional honesty as a pathway for becoming free.

]]> The case for a new direction when it comes to the way we approach our emotions. Emotional honesty as a pathway for becoming free.

]]> Sun, 03 Dec 2023 16:49:59 -0800 Jake Ernst Jake Ernst 619 The case for a new direction when it comes to the way we approach our emotions. Emotional honesty as a pathway for becoming free.

]]> Therapy, Relationships, Mental Health, Stress, Jake Ernst, Advice, "How To", How-to, Self-help No Jake Ernst Sabotaging our own success Sabotaging our own success full 2354747f-aed9-4d7a-8d44-bb8caba4fad0 https://share.transistor.fm/s/9696a66e Holding ourselves back from progress, leaning away from our strengths, freezing in the face of fear, reclaiming our worth, and taking ownership over our lives.

]]> Holding ourselves back from progress, leaning away from our strengths, freezing in the face of fear, reclaiming our worth, and taking ownership over our lives.

]]> Sun, 26 Nov 2023 15:22:26 -0800 Jake Ernst Jake Ernst 778 Holding ourselves back from progress, leaning away from our strengths, freezing in the face of fear, reclaiming our worth, and taking ownership over our lives.

]]> Therapy, Relationships, Mental Health, Stress, Jake Ernst, Advice, "How To", How-to, Self-help No Jake Ernst Worked up over "What Ifs" Worked up over "What Ifs" full 903be5ff-b917-4e4b-8ad8-d9d1365684c9 https://share.transistor.fm/s/e3783a99 What if this happens? Or what if that happens? Well what if this? What if that? A deeper look into the way we think and react in times of stress. What to do when you have a case of the "What Ifs".

]]> What if this happens? Or what if that happens? Well what if this? What if that? A deeper look into the way we think and react in times of stress. What to do when you have a case of the "What Ifs".

]]> Sun, 19 Nov 2023 17:12:19 -0800 Jake Ernst Jake Ernst 634 What if this happens? Or what if that happens? Well what if this? What if that? A deeper look into the way we think and react in times of stress. What to do when you have a case of the "What Ifs".

]]> Therapy, Relationships, Mental Health, Stress, Jake Ernst, Advice, "How To", How-to, Self-help No Jake Ernst The anxious need to be helpful The anxious need to be helpful full f1a1393f-f0ff-4c26-810a-e7844d929217 https://share.transistor.fm/s/88bb8f6c Sometimes our stress and anxiety drives our helping response. What to do when your anxiety drives you to intervene beyond reason, plus a few notes about resisting the anxious urge to solve it all.

]]> Sometimes our stress and anxiety drives our helping response. What to do when your anxiety drives you to intervene beyond reason, plus a few notes about resisting the anxious urge to solve it all.

]]> Sun, 05 Nov 2023 14:42:14 -0800 Jake Ernst Jake Ernst 735 Sometimes our stress and anxiety drives our helping response. What to do when your anxiety drives you to intervene beyond reason, plus a few notes about resisting the anxious urge to solve it all.

]]> Therapy, Relationships, Mental Health, Stress, Jake Ernst, Advice, "How To", How-to, Self-help No Jake Ernst What it feels like to matter What it feels like to matter full df21f5d5-728d-42f6-a038-f07b81fccad7 https://share.transistor.fm/s/3b641394 Mattering is a core human need but we don't talk enough about why mattering matters. This week, I'm peeling back the therapy curtain to bring you the questions I ask my clients when I get the sense that they feel like they don't matter.

]]> Mattering is a core human need but we don't talk enough about why mattering matters. This week, I'm peeling back the therapy curtain to bring you the questions I ask my clients when I get the sense that they feel like they don't matter.

]]> Sun, 22 Oct 2023 14:46:27 -0700 Jake Ernst Jake Ernst 485 Mattering is a core human need but we don't talk enough about why mattering matters. This week, I'm peeling back the therapy curtain to bring you the questions I ask my clients when I get the sense that they feel like they don't matter.

]]> Therapy, Relationships, Mental Health, Stress, Jake Ernst, Advice, "How To", How-to, Self-help No Jake Ernst Turning towards what's troubling us Turning towards what's troubling us full 31d2bd13-31aa-4bff-91ea-fdba9f4949b4 https://share.transistor.fm/s/7096104c A note about confronting our most challenging moments, the courage that comes from facing what’s in front of us, and the importance of turning towards instead of turning away.

]]> A note about confronting our most challenging moments, the courage that comes from facing what’s in front of us, and the importance of turning towards instead of turning away.

]]> Sun, 15 Oct 2023 16:23:11 -0700 Jake Ernst Jake Ernst 692 A note about confronting our most challenging moments, the courage that comes from facing what’s in front of us, and the importance of turning towards instead of turning away.

]]> Therapy, Relationships, Mental Health, Stress, Jake Ernst, Advice, "How To", How-to, Self-help No Jake Ernst Wishing things were different Wishing things were different full a76e0c19-4416-4dc5-8c0b-4d0a09cdf4d5 https://share.transistor.fm/s/a38f0826 Disappointment, dissatisfaction, and life regrets. Examining the brain's tendency to wander and long for a different reality. Navigating the struggle of wishing things were different than they are.

]]> Disappointment, dissatisfaction, and life regrets. Examining the brain's tendency to wander and long for a different reality. Navigating the struggle of wishing things were different than they are.

]]> Sun, 01 Oct 2023 18:30:30 -0700 Jake Ernst Jake Ernst 678 Disappointment, dissatisfaction, and life regrets. Examining the brain's tendency to wander and long for a different reality. Navigating the struggle of wishing things were different than they are.

]]> Therapy, Relationships, Mental Health, Stress, Jake Ernst, Advice, "How To", How-to, Self-help No Jake Ernst Why aren't we talking about social health? Why aren't we talking about social health? full d425947d-a9ab-4553-bdd6-faa4019a36ee https://share.transistor.fm/s/01527a46 Rising rates of loneliness, unprecedented rates of separation and divorce, a drastic decline in friendships. We need to keep talking about social connection, how to stay in relationships, and how to strengthen our collective social health.

]]> Rising rates of loneliness, unprecedented rates of separation and divorce, a drastic decline in friendships. We need to keep talking about social connection, how to stay in relationships, and how to strengthen our collective social health.

]]> Sun, 24 Sep 2023 09:19:13 -0700 Jake Ernst Jake Ernst 595 Rising rates of loneliness, unprecedented rates of separation and divorce, a drastic decline in friendships. We need to keep talking about social connection, how to stay in relationships, and how to strengthen our collective social health.

]]> Therapy, Relationships, Mental Health, Stress, Jake Ernst, Advice, "How To", How-to, Self-help No Jake Ernst Being in a state of constant chase Being in a state of constant chase full 9ce576db-3350-4a9e-8f16-7e3ca50f5b28 https://share.transistor.fm/s/aa44bce0 Many of us feel like we aren't good enough when we aren't doing enough. The state of constant chase keeps us chronically pursuing goals without ever feeling a sense of accomplishment. There's another way.

]]> Many of us feel like we aren't good enough when we aren't doing enough. The state of constant chase keeps us chronically pursuing goals without ever feeling a sense of accomplishment. There's another way.

]]> Sun, 17 Sep 2023 19:31:36 -0700 Jake Ernst Jake Ernst 775 Many of us feel like we aren't good enough when we aren't doing enough. The state of constant chase keeps us chronically pursuing goals without ever feeling a sense of accomplishment. There's another way.

]]> Therapy, Relationships, Mental Health, Stress, Jake Ernst, Advice, "How To", How-to, Self-help No Jake Ernst Releasing the need for control Releasing the need for control full a677163d-d636-4b21-b963-1394d430c4b4 https://share.transistor.fm/s/eedb11bd Unraveling the control paradox— how we manage our fear of not having control by trying to gain more of it. How to release our need to be in control of outcomes and let go of our tendency to control others.

]]> Unraveling the control paradox— how we manage our fear of not having control by trying to gain more of it. How to release our need to be in control of outcomes and let go of our tendency to control others.

]]> Sun, 10 Sep 2023 16:30:11 -0700 Jake Ernst Jake Ernst 849 Unraveling the control paradox— how we manage our fear of not having control by trying to gain more of it. How to release our need to be in control of outcomes and let go of our tendency to control others.

]]> Therapy, Relationships, Mental Health, Stress, Jake Ernst, Advice, "How To", How-to, Self-help No Jake Ernst Keeping up with appearances Keeping up with appearances full 0df7a696-abe6-4ed1-a152-2de278193f72 https://share.transistor.fm/s/7d17ae08 Keeping up with appearances is far from enjoyable. It’s exhausting to pretend like everything is fine all the time. It’s annoying to constantly perform as the person who has it all figured out. It’s frustrating to feel like we have to conform to achieve a sense of belonging. The burden of maintaining a facade of unwavering positivity, even when our true emotions and experiences don't align, can weigh heavily on us. Here's what we can do instead.

Read the full article here: Keeping up with appearances by Jake Ernst on Substack

]]> Keeping up with appearances is far from enjoyable. It’s exhausting to pretend like everything is fine all the time. It’s annoying to constantly perform as the person who has it all figured out. It’s frustrating to feel like we have to conform to achieve a sense of belonging. The burden of maintaining a facade of unwavering positivity, even when our true emotions and experiences don't align, can weigh heavily on us. Here's what we can do instead.

Read the full article here: Keeping up with appearances by Jake Ernst on Substack

]]> Sun, 03 Sep 2023 07:20:24 -0700 Jake Ernst Jake Ernst 677 Keeping up with appearances is far from enjoyable. It’s exhausting to pretend like everything is fine all the time. It’s annoying to constantly perform as the person who has it all figured out. It’s frustrating to feel like we have to conform to achieve a sense of belonging. The burden of maintaining a facade of unwavering positivity, even when our true emotions and experiences don't align, can weigh heavily on us. Here's what we can do instead.

Read the full article here: Keeping up with appearances by Jake Ernst on Substack

]]> Therapy, Relationships, Mental Health, Stress, Jake Ernst, Advice, "How To", How-to, Self-help No Jake Ernst Absorbing everyone else's emotions Absorbing everyone else's emotions full f01a384c-2b44-481d-93f5-742dac11e51b https://share.transistor.fm/s/27478148 This week, I'm talking about our tendency to take on other people's emotions. This can happen at work, in relationships, and with our close family members. At its extreme, this is a pattern known as emotional enmeshment. In this episode, I talk about how to build emotional autonomy, reclaim our own emotional identity, and curb our tendency to take on the emotions of everyone around us.

Read the full article here: Absorbing everyone else's emotions by Jake Ernst on Substack

]]> This week, I'm talking about our tendency to take on other people's emotions. This can happen at work, in relationships, and with our close family members. At its extreme, this is a pattern known as emotional enmeshment. In this episode, I talk about how to build emotional autonomy, reclaim our own emotional identity, and curb our tendency to take on the emotions of everyone around us.

Read the full article here: Absorbing everyone else's emotions by Jake Ernst on Substack

]]> Sun, 27 Aug 2023 13:52:55 -0700 Jake Ernst Jake Ernst 683 This week, I'm talking about our tendency to take on other people's emotions. This can happen at work, in relationships, and with our close family members. At its extreme, this is a pattern known as emotional enmeshment. In this episode, I talk about how to build emotional autonomy, reclaim our own emotional identity, and curb our tendency to take on the emotions of everyone around us.

Read the full article here: Absorbing everyone else's emotions by Jake Ernst on Substack

]]> Therapy, Relationships, Mental Health, Stress, Jake Ernst, Advice, "How To", How-to, Self-help No Jake Ernst Breaking free from being busy Breaking free from being busy full 7eab6b7a-79e5-4a47-9465-30e21968abe1 https://share.transistor.fm/s/d7b87726 Lately, I've thinking about how common it is to believe that busy is better. This week, I'm talking about how to break free from being busy and how to shift from chaos to calm. It's hard to let go of our need to be busy and drop the identity of "the busy bee". For many, it's just not easy to find stillness and take off the busy badge.

Read the full article here: Breaking free from being busy by Jake Ernst on Substack

]]> Lately, I've thinking about how common it is to believe that busy is better. This week, I'm talking about how to break free from being busy and how to shift from chaos to calm. It's hard to let go of our need to be busy and drop the identity of "the busy bee". For many, it's just not easy to find stillness and take off the busy badge.

Read the full article here: Breaking free from being busy by Jake Ernst on Substack

]]> Sun, 20 Aug 2023 21:06:29 -0700 Jake Ernst Jake Ernst 595 Lately, I've thinking about how common it is to believe that busy is better. This week, I'm talking about how to break free from being busy and how to shift from chaos to calm. It's hard to let go of our need to be busy and drop the identity of "the busy bee". For many, it's just not easy to find stillness and take off the busy badge.

Read the full article here: Breaking free from being busy by Jake Ernst on Substack

]]> Therapy, Relationships, Mental Health, Stress, Jake Ernst, Advice, "How To", How-to, Self-help No Jake Ernst The illusion of effortless wellbeing The illusion of effortless wellbeing full c0e576d3-a07a-4de8-a759-0943f252d363 https://share.transistor.fm/s/1b4ae1a1 "Everyone seems to have it all figured out!" "Why can everyone do it but me?" Moving beyond picture-perfect and resisting the performance of wellness. Shattering the illusion of effortless wellbeing.

Read the full article here: The illusion of effortless wellbeing by Jake Ernst on Substack

]]> "Everyone seems to have it all figured out!" "Why can everyone do it but me?" Moving beyond picture-perfect and resisting the performance of wellness. Shattering the illusion of effortless wellbeing.

Read the full article here: The illusion of effortless wellbeing by Jake Ernst on Substack

]]> Sun, 13 Aug 2023 10:30:59 -0700 Jake Ernst Jake Ernst 550 "Everyone seems to have it all figured out!" "Why can everyone do it but me?" Moving beyond picture-perfect and resisting the performance of wellness. Shattering the illusion of effortless wellbeing.

Read the full article here: The illusion of effortless wellbeing by Jake Ernst on Substack

]]> Therapy, Relationships, Mental Health, Stress, Jake Ernst, Advice, "How To", How-to, Self-help No Jake Ernst