Curiously Kristen

Why We Don't Talk About Money + Why We Should

Kristen Dickey — Tue, 11 Jun 2024 06:00:00 -0400

In this episode we get curious about something that makes many of us super uncomfortable...TALKING ABOUT MONEY.
I share some great nuggets from Scott Galloway's new book "The Algebra of Wealth" as well as Morgan Housel's best-seller "The Psychology of Money." We talk about how freakin NEW many of our financial systems are (the 401K has only existed for 46 years, guys!!).
We talk about fiduciaries, compound interest, Roth IRAs, and other finance terms I just learned in the last 5-7 years lol.
We also dive into the psychology of why talking about money is so taboo and why many of us just never learned about it growing up. And I make the case for why we HAVE to talk about it.
"Not talking about money only benefits the incumbents" in the words of Mr. Galloway. The employers/not the employees, the rich/not the financially insecure. The incumbents want money to continue to be a topic shrouded in mystery and secrecy so they can continue to control it. SO LETS TALK $$$

References:
https://www.profgalloway.com/the-algebra-of-wealth-3/
https://www.amazon.com/Psychology-Money-Timeless-lessons-happiness/dp/0857197681
https://www.netflix.com/title/81410436
https://www.espn.com/watch/catalog/6ac8e68a-2f46-4197-8590-c63433791c9c/broke

Opening + Closing Audio: BRASKO "BACK TO YOU"

The Obstacle is The Way

Kristen Dickey — Tue, 13 Feb 2024 11:27:46 -0500

Been gone for a minute but....WE BACK, Y'ALL!! And today we're getting curious about a principal of Stoic philosophy that had such a huge impact on me that I literally tattooed it on my body: "THE OBSTACLE IS THE WAY"

As the former Roman Emperor, Marcus Aurelius, once said: "The impediment to action advances action."
AKA: The obstacle is the way.
AKA: The thing standing in the way BECOMES THE WAY.

We break down what this means exactly and how it applies to real life situations. I share a harrowing story of a computer problem that almost cost me my sanity (lol) and discuss the hardest part of boundaries (SPOILER: it's upholding them, not setting them).

Last, we talk about looking for the lessons in every hard situation. Seeing every difficult person as the messenger of a lesson we still need to learn.

REFERENCES: "The Obstacle is the Way" by Ryan Holiday (https://theobstacleistheway.com/)
INTRO/OUTRO MUSIC: Brasko "Back To You"

A Proven Habit-Building Hack: TEMPTATION BUNDLING

Kristen Dickey — Wed, 08 Nov 2023 09:50:03 -0500

This week we're getting curious about hidden potential (also the name of Adam Grant's newest book) + how to utilize temptation bundling to narrow the gap between our current self and future desired self. And just for funsies, I throw in a story about crying in my car....because IT'S OKAY TO FEEL YOUR FEELINGS. Good lessons in this one, guys.

References:
https://adamgrant.net/book/hidden-potential/
https://www.katymilkman.com/book
https://www.amazon.com/Mountain-You-Transforming-Self-Sabotage-Self-Mastery/dp/1949759229
Intro/Outro Music: "Back to You" by BRASKO

PART 2 with DeWayne McMurry AKA: STEEZUS on: Having to “sit with our shit” during lockdown, Drake-level petty moments, Super Mario Brothers as the greatest analogy for life, and much more

Kristen Dickey — Tue, 31 Oct 2023 13:35:26 -0400

In Part 2 of our talk with Steezus, we get curious about our inner child, having to “sit with our shit” during lockdown, Super Mario Brothers as maybe the best analogy I’ve ever heard for life, Drake-level petty moments, and why the idea of zero sum games in career success is complete bullshit #IDon’tWantYourPie (it’ll make sense when you listen :)).

Guest bio: DeWayne McMurry, widely known as “Steezus”, has garnered a remarkable influence in the skateboarding, sneaker and streetwear communities. Steezus has built a reputation as a trusted voice through digital content creation, utilizing his influential platforms to entertain and inspire his audience. He also advocates and raises awareness on the often-taboo topic of mental health, particularly from the perspective of a Black male in America. His expertise in content creation and social media strategy has made him a go-to resource and official brand partner for established brands like the NFL, Ghost Lifestyle, and Honest Skincare.

References:

Ghost Lifestyle - https://www.ghostlifestyle.com/ (use code "STEEZUS" for 20% off)

NFL Shop - https://www.nflshop.com/ (use code "STEEZUS" for 20% off)

Dogpound Gym - https://www.thedogpound.com/

Honest Skincare - https://www.honest.com/skincare-products/face-moisturizers/hydrogel-cream/B01S0900V3FLS.html

Intro/Outro Music: "Back To You" by BRASKO

DeWayne McMurry AKA: STEEZUS on: Brand-Building on Tik Tok, Working Out Amongst Celebs, and the Importance of Networking

Kristen Dickey — Tue, 24 Oct 2023 03:00:00 -0400

In this episode we're talking to DeWayne McMurry, widely known as “Steezus”, who has garnered a remarkable influence in the skateboarding, sneaker and streetwear communities over the years. Steezus has built a reputation as a trusted voice through digital content creation, utilizing his influential platforms to entertain and inspire his audience. He also advocates and raises awareness on the often-taboo topic of mental health, particularly from the perspective of a Black male in America. His expertise in content creation and social media strategy has made him a go-to resource and official brand partner for established brands like the NFL, Ghost Lifestyle, and Honest Skincare.

In Part 1 of our talk, we get curious about the importance of networking, why anyone trying to build a brand needs to be on Tik Tok, what it's like working out amongst celebrities, and much more. You'll also hear a funny story about how we met (spoiler: it was through a dating app lol).

References:
Ghost Lifestyle - https://www.ghostlifestyle.com/ (use code "STEEZUS" for 20% off)
NFL Shop - https://www.nflshop.com/
Dogpound Gym - https://www.thedogpound.com/
Lil Wayne "Celebration" music video - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ki21aILhoI

Intro/Outro Music: "Back To You" by BRASKO

A Candid Conversation with Emmy Award Winning Producer, Melanee Young Taylor

Kristen Dickey — Tue, 17 Oct 2023 08:37:27 -0400

In this special guest episode, we're getting curious with Emmy Award Winning Producer, Melanee Young Taylor, about:

The pros and cons of freelance production work vs full time,

the prevalence of casting couchy-ness in the entertainment biz,
WTF is climate tech,

70yr old d*ck pics,

“Corporate” hoops,

working with your significant other,

A rollercoaster fertility journey,

our shared hatred of baby shower games,

and the irrational fear cotton balls (a real phobia fyi)

WARNING: Explicit episode. If the mention of menstrual cups makes you cringe...this one probably aint for you, babe :)

Links:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/melanee-taylor-77b13421b/

https://www.instagram.com/filmmyniners/

https://www.persefoni.com/

Audio Intro/Outro/Transitions: "Back To You" by BRASKO

Riding The Wave: Cheez-It Cravings, Bad Credit Scores, and the Fly on Your Neck

Kristen Dickey — Tue, 10 Oct 2023 14:57:12 -0400

In this episode, we talk about "riding the wave" of the emotions we feel. A concept initially introduced to me by my nutritionist, which was later reinforced at a Buddhist meditation retreat, and that I now try to implement into my mindfulness practice as much as possible. It's hard not to let ourselves be swept away by overwhelming emotions - especially when we feel things REALLY deeply. #ScorpioProblems But the zoom-out practice of "riding the wave" can give us more awareness of our emotional state. And in that awareness lies the power.

What Steve Jobs, Leonardo da Vinci, and Abraham Lincoln Have in Common

Kristen Dickey — Tue, 03 Oct 2023 13:35:22 -0400

What do Steve Jobs, Leonardo da Vinci, and Abraham Lincoln have in common?

They are AUTODIDACTIC LEARNERS.

Find out what this is and why we should all take advantage of it in the pursuit of our curiosities.

We Rarely Know the Whole Story

Kristen Dickey — Thu, 28 Sep 2023 20:18:05 -0400

In this episode I give several examples of random conversations i've had with complete strangers where they end up telling me something that just FLOORS me. When it comes to strangers and loose acquaintances, our brains have a tendency to hyper magnify our perception of them based solely on that interaction in that moment. We don't have the context or the depth of knowledge about them that we have about a close friend or loved one. And most people aren't going to word vomit all of their problems onto you during a fleeting conversation. Having that awareness that there's so much we DON'T know is crucial to our ability to default to kindness. Be the first to offer vulnerability to give someone else the space to mirror it back to you.

Why We Gossip + How To Stop

Kristen Dickey — Tue, 19 Sep 2023 18:27:19 -0400

In this one we're getting curious about gossip. Why we do it and how to stop. Gossip can definitely stroke our fragile human egos. It can make us feel important or superior or like the gate keeper of valuable information. But we know those eco-centric feelings are fleeting and that we'd ultimately be much better happier if our conversations were more positive and productive. Here I give several strategies for curbing that pesky gossiping habit + how to limit your exposure to those afflicted with the gossip bug or discreetly redirect those convos to more positive things.

REFERENCES:

https://www.linkedin.com/in/stephen-m-r-covey-6400191a5/
https://jamesclear.com/great-speeches/the-anatomy-of-trust-by-brene-brown

Intrinsic and Extrinsic Motivation

Kristen Dickey — Tue, 12 Sep 2023 14:23:10 -0400

In this episode we get curious about what motivates us. We dig into the two types of motivation that drive our behaviors: INTRINSIC and EXTRINSIC motivation. These two types of motivation can both work + can work in tandem, but in the long-run - intrinsic motivation serves us best.

Whose peace are we keeping?

Kristen Dickey — Tue, 05 Sep 2023 05:00:00 -0400

Today we're getting curious about "keeping the peace". Or more specifically, WHOSE peace we're keeping. Are we at war with ourselves in order to keep someone else's peace? We talk about the "fawn" nervous system response, people-pleasing, taking stock of our connections, and the mindful pause between someone's words and our response to them.

We're not in a mood. A mood is in us.

Kristen Dickey — Thu, 31 Aug 2023 10:55:00 -0400

In this episode we're getting curious about how the mood we’re in can affect the way we see things (AKA "Affective Realism"). The MOOD is the impermanent, fleeting thing. WE are the constant. Every mood we have, every emotion we experience is temporary. It will always change.

I share a bit about my recent journey across the country, my first few days home in California, and how I'm holding a lot of different emotions simultaneously right now. This is something I think we're all doing all the time. We rarely can capture how we feel with one mood. Because our lives are composed of so many different ever-changing parts. So it's time to show ourselves compassion and let all those different emotions co-exist at the same time.

The Right To Change Your Mind

Kristen Dickey — Tue, 22 Aug 2023 05:00:00 -0400

In this episode we're getting curious about the right to change your mind. With my move home to California coming up, I've been thinking about how our minds can change about both big and small things in our lives. And how we usually judge ourselves far more harshly than anyone else for changing our minds. This is about allowing yourself to grow and evolve. To reinvent and redefine who you are. How the people meant for you will accept all evolutions of you. And how ultimately, you don't need anyone's permission to change - other than your own.

Yucking Someone's Yum

Kristen Dickey — Tue, 15 Aug 2023 05:00:00 -0400

Today we're getting curious about "yucking someone's yum". Think about any conversation you've ever had where someone is sharing a personal preference of theirs. Your first instinct is probably to consider what YOU think about that thing. If YOU like it. It YOU had an experience with it you want to share. But when it comes to people having different perspectives and preferences than us - we don't need to yuck their yum. We can openly listen without injecting our personal feelings about that thing. We can get curious about their experience instead of replying with our own. We can live and let live. We can NOT yuck their yum.

Making the Law of Attraction work FOR YOU

Kristen Dickey — Tue, 08 Aug 2023 05:00:00 -0400

We do not attract what we WANT, we attract what we ARE. And today, we are curious about the Law of Attraction. We break down the three key components of it, dig into some common misconceptions, and give real + actionable ways to make the Law of Attraction work FOR YOU.

The Paradox and the Power of Choice

Kristen Dickey — Tue, 01 Aug 2023 09:50:53 -0400

Today we're getting curious about the PARADOX and the POWER of CHOICE. How us humans want to feel agency and control over the choices we make, but also can be easily overwhelmed by having too many choices. We talk about several interesting studies related to this - from an online dating platform founder who leveraged the power of choice to drive app downloads, to a grocery store that uncovered the paradox of choice through two different jam displays. Wanting agency over your decisions is real. But so is analysis paralysis. Let's dive in.

Our Own Harshest Critic

Kristen Dickey — Tue, 25 Jul 2023 05:00:00 -0400

Today we're getting curious about why we're our own harshest critic. We tie in a few related lessons from the new Barbie movie (go see it, guys. seriously.), we touch on the "Spotlight Effect" and we end with a 2-prong actionable approach for becoming more compassionate and loving toward ourselves.

WE CANNOT SHAME OURSELVES INTO CHANGE. WE CAN ONLY LOVE OURSELVES INTO EVOLUTION.

Asking For The Help You Need

Kristen Dickey — Tue, 18 Jul 2023 08:43:23 -0400

In this one, we're getting curious about asking for the help you need. I know a lot of people, like me, tend to think we can do it all ourselves. We have this self-critical narrative that says asking for help = weakness. We don't want to be vulnerable or reliant on anyone else for anything. But when we quiet our ego and let go of our stubborn pride, we allow ourselves to ask for and receive that help. We build stronger bonds with the people in our lives and we take that unnecessary pressure off ourselves. Give yourself permission to ask for what you need. You'll be surprised how the universe will answer the call.

Consider the Source

Kristen Dickey — Wed, 12 Jul 2023 12:19:07 -0400

Today we're getting curious about considering the source. About being discerning when it comes to filtering out the input/advice others give us and making sure that it really makes sense FOR US.

We're asking ourselves a few very important questions before soliciting feedback from anyone:
Does this person have experience in the area of difficulty I’m dealing with?

Have they overcome this same problem themselves?

Have they been successful in this thing I’m trying to pursue?

And if they have, can they be truly objective about MY situation?

Because they don't have to live with the outcome of the actions we may take based on their advice - WE DO.

Emotional Sign Posts + The Wolf You Feed

Kristen Dickey — Tue, 04 Jul 2023 05:00:00 -0400

In this episode, we're getting curious about our emotions as sign posts. As signals that show us what we deeply value. As data, not directives.
We talk about the polarity of our thought patterns and about being deliberate with which "wolf we feed." We talk about observing without absorbing and finding the lessons in situations that feel incredibly painful...but are often our biggest opportunities for growth.

REFERENCES:
https://www.susandavid.com/book/

The Beginner's Mindset

Kristen Dickey — Tue, 27 Jun 2023 05:00:00 -0400

In this episode, we're talking about The Beginner's Mindset. I give several personal examples of new things I've tried in the last year alone, we talk about the vulnerable courage it takes to be a first-timer, and the "prep loops" we have to be careful not to get stuck in. We also touch on Imposter Syndrome and the concept of "firing bullets, THEN cannonballs". This is a good one, y'all.

REFERENCES:
https://www.amazon.com/Outliers-Story-Success-Malcolm-Gladwell/dp/0316017930
https://www.amazon.com/Atomic-Habits-James-Clear-audiobook/dp/B07RFSSYBH
https://www.amazon.com/Great-Choice-Uncertainty-Luck-Why-Despite/dp/0062120999

Change Catalysts

Kristen Dickey — Tue, 20 Jun 2023 05:00:00 -0400

Today we’re getting curious about change. The catalysts for change, the reasons it’s hard to change, and why allowing ourselves to change in ways that align with our true selves is the only path to real growth.
We dig into a few psychological concepts like "Identity Foreclosure" and the "Sunk Cost Fallacy" and I share a recent story of road rage.
We know the hard things in life won’t suddenly cease to happen because we’ve decided to change. If anything, our decision to change will be the REASON we approach those situations differently and in a healthier way.

Leave the Small Fights for Small Fighters

Kristen Dickey — Tue, 13 Jun 2023 05:00:00 -0400

In this episode we talk about leaving the small fights for small fighters. Or in other words, being discerning about what we do and do NOT give our energy to. It's about picking our battles, shedding our ego, and acknowledging that some people are just committed to misunderstanding us. It's up to us to decided whether or not we value all the unsolicited opinions thrown at us. Whether someone is even in a position to advise us. And whether we even care what they think. We preserve our peace of mind when we choose to not give our time or energy to those small fights and instead pour it into the things we DO care about.

Let Go

Kristen Dickey — Tue, 06 Jun 2023 05:00:00 -0400

In this episode I share a few lessons about "letting go" from a silent + technology-free Buddhist meditation retreat I attended. We also talk about the "let them" theory. People's behavior tells us a lot about what they value. Let them do what they want to do, so we know what they'd rather do. Let them reveal themselves to us without us trying to influence them one way or another. Then we can truly know if that connection is even worth keeping.

Friction Points

Kristen Dickey — Thu, 01 Jun 2023 05:00:00 -0400

In Episode 3, I share a personal story i've been writing on and off for the last year. It's a story of what I call "friction points". A story of wandering, of not knowing anything besides what DOESN'T feel right. Then choosing to not only listen to that feeling, but to act on It - and trusting that the path it leads to is the right one.

Stand Guard at the Door of Your Mind

Kristen Dickey — Tue, 30 May 2023 15:19:43 -0400

In Episode 2, we talk about the difference between reacting and responding, being the bouncer of your own mind, and not letting all the inevitable annoyances/inconveniences/triggers of our day-to-day control our mood. We don't choose our emotions but we DO choose how we respond to them. And that's the real power.

FFTs

Kristen Dickey — Tue, 23 May 2023 13:11:54 -0400

Brene Brown coined the term "FFTs" several years ago in HER first podcast episode of "Unlocking Us"...and MAN are these Fucking First Times hard. In episode 1, I give a little background on who I am, my various tools of procrastination in starting this podcast, why words don't mean shit, and a few of my favorite quotes on creativity and taking action.

REFERENCES:
"Brene on FFTs" - https://open.spotify.com/episode/6UAoHu3VQJNrZcBubo4ABF
Elizabeth Gilbert "Big Magic" - https://www.amazon.com/Big-Magic-Creative-Living-Beyond/dp/1594634718/