If there’s one thing humans are great at, it’s setting up illusory boundaries for ourselves that don’t actually exist in reality.

You can… do anything you want. The only limits are those you place upon yourself.

I'm also hitting the checkbox on revisions for the introduction and chapter 1 of Make Your Own Glass Full. Let's get inspired!

Anyway, feedback can feel overwhelming, but a structure and plan for how you take that feedback and evolve can decrease the weighty feeling.

Strap in! Let's go!

My wife shared this wisdom, reminding me during tough times that I must partner with God. Knowing He's looking out for me provides reassurance. Even if things don't go as planned, trusting His plan helps me see the benefits, even in difficult situations.

• (00:00) - Motivational speakers miss the importance of collaboration and faith.
• (00:26) - Finding spiritual meaning in goals leads to desired results.
• (01:02) - We can't achieve everything alone; we need divine partnership.
• (01:18) - Partnering with God brings assurance and trust in His plan.

• (00:00) - The Personal Nature of Learning
• (00:43) - Different Insights and Impact of Learning Over Time
• (01:22) - Individual Paths and the Importance of Self-Acceptance

• (00:00) - The Struggle to Face the Cold Plunge
• (00:24) - Finding Light in the Darkness of Winter
• (01:21) - Inviting Light to Chase Out the Darkness

For breakfast, I have egg whites with veggies like spinach, peppers, onions, and ground turkey. I cook about 438 grams of egg whites from Costco. For dinner, I eat a salad with protein like chicken, ham, or tuna. The salad has spring mix, cucumbers, and tomatoes.

For lunch, I eat different foods like lunch meat. I know I'll have egg whites for breakfast and salad for dinner. I also enjoy a Greek yogurt dessert with flavored protein powder and whipped cream.

By eating the same foods daily, I reach my goals and keep the weight off. It's better than being overweight even if it seems boring to eat the same meals every day.

• (00:00) - Maintaining Weight Loss: My Daily Caloric Intake
• (00:22) - Breakfast: Egg Whites with Veggie Mix
• (00:51) - Lunch and Dinner: Protein with Salad
• (01:57) - Greek Yogurt Dessert: Consistency for Success

• (00:00) - Celebrating the Birth of Christ and His Impact
• (00:20) - Overcoming Weaknesses and Becoming More Like Christ
• (00:56) - Finding Hope and Relief through the Atonement of Christ

I joined a group called Superhuman Fathers, led by Kyle Carnahan. Here's what transpired: I met Kyle at an event in April this year and mentioned my interest in starting a coaching program for men. He bluntly asked why anyone would seek coaching from me when I was overweight. Admittedly, his words stung, especially since I had already lost 40 pounds and felt good about it. However, despite the initial shock, something within me urged me to listen to Kyle – he was speaking the truth and had wisdom to share.

We exchanged numbers, and Kyle later reached out to discuss how he could help me. Although hesitant at first (I knew joining his program would be inevitable), I eventually took the leap and found two vital aspects of our interaction. Firstly, despite Kyle's harshness, I sensed genuine love and support from him – not judgment. His comment about my weight was simply an honest observation.

Secondly, Kyle emphasized that people need to see and believe that you can provide them with their desired results. If they see someone struggling with their own weight trying to coach them towards self-improvement, trust is unlikely to form. Moreover, he highlighted that it's not just about physical appearance; it's about the discipline and personal growth that accompanies such transformation.

In conclusion, my journey with Superhuman Fathers has been both challenging and rewarding. Through Kyle's guidance and tough love, I've managed to not only shed pounds but also grow as an individual, gaining valuable insights into self-discipline and personal development.
The astonishing aspect of this journey is the personal growth and improvement in my business since joining Superhuman Fathers, as well as becoming a better husband and father. The best part? I'm nowhere near finished. This sustainable transformation isn't a fad diet or a yo-yo experience; it's genuinely aligning with who I am meant to be.

The love and support from Kyle, acknowledging that this is a spiritual process, has made this journey incredibly powerful. So, what does this transformation entail? I now eat according to macros, focusing on specific targets for fat, protein, and carbs. Initially, I didn't even know what macros were, but now they are an essential part of my eating habits.

Though I've lost about 30 pounds – slightly less than the MLM starvation cult – the visible changes in my physique are just the beginning. The real magic lies in the unseen, internal transformations that can only be felt and experienced. That's what makes this journey truly remarkable. Let's go!

• (00:00) - Cold plunge thoughts and weight loss journey begins
• (00:58) - Meeting Kyle and realizing the need for change
• (02:04) - Joining Superhuman Fathers and experiencing transformation

• (00:00) - Using an MLM starvation cult for weight loss
• (00:53) - Unsustainability of the MLM program
• (02:21) - The strict calorie intake of the MLM program
• (02:31) - Seeking the next step towards a healthier lifestyle

I decided that nurturing a love for my body was essential. Surprisingly, the workouts and dietary choices paled in comparison to this realization. It felt odd for a man to admit such a sentiment, but I recognized that loving my body would lead to treating it differently.

For the following two months, I concentrated on embracing my body, regardless of its shape or size or perceived flaws. Daily affirmations in front of the mirror became routine: "I love my body. This body is wonderful." Gradually, a shift in mindset and motivation emerged.

Around this time, my brother-in-law and sister were also losing weight, looking better, and feeling more energetic. Inspired by their progress, I resolved to make some changes myself. This decision came after six months of weekly personal training sessions – all leading up to the pivotal moment of choosing to love my body.

With this foundation in place, everything else followed suit. Tomorrow, I will share how I lost my first 40 pounds.

• (00:00) - Discovering the Importance of Loving My Body
• (01:00) - Treating My Body Differently Through Self-Love Journey
• (02:01) - Making Changes: The Start of a Weight Loss Journey

• (00:02) - Cold plunge thoughts.
• (00:25) - Weight loss journey begins: Lost 70 pounds in a year.
• (00:55) - Lack of motivation and hiring a personal trainer.
• (01:50) - Personal trainer sessions lacked intensity and action.
• (02:39) - Struggling with Exercise and Diet
• (02:55) - Frustration with Lack of Progress

And we are talking about citizenship and civility.

While I get quite bored of discussions about politics, I was able to reinforce some of the beliefs that I have around certain things. I think my biggest takeaway from this class is being able to articulate some things that I'd had thoughts about, but hadn't been able to articulate previous to taking this class.

And, there's value in that. 

[00:00:58] Defining Our Own Values

Number one, I really doubled down on my belief that we each have to define our own values, and the only way that we are going to have any success in our own personal life is if we really do define our own values and then stick to them.

I was coaching a school principal outside of class and this idea of her acting in alignment with her values came up and what made that conversation so powerful is that there was a situation where something happened and she didn't say anything but in her heart she knew that that thing that she didn't comment on was really important to her.

But she didn't comment on it. She was not acting in alignment with her values.

And when I suggested to her that she should act in alignment with her values, then she suddenly saw how important that was to her personally and what that meant.

This really helped her see that it's not about the values of the organization that you're working for, or about the values of the society that you live in, but it's about you acting in alignment with your own values.

When I mention this, people say, "Well, what if your values don't line up with my values?" Well, that happens. The real issue is can you respect and love someone enough to allow them to act in alignment with their values, even if those disagree with you? Now, in order for us to have a society that is civil and worthwhile, there are certain values that we need to have across the board like, it's not okay to kill people. We need to respect others. And if somebody doesn't have those values, then that can certainly make relationships with that person difficult. That can make interactions with them difficult.

But part of this is also that I truly believe that if left to their own devices, we all have goodness within us that helps us decide to have positive pro social values.

Personally, I call this the Light of Christ.

There are aberrations and people who are sociopaths who don't have those values, and there always will be. That's why we have laws as a society to make sure that people are acting in appropriate ways.

And this is a personal reflection for me. When you act in alignment with your values, then your story doesn't change. And this is something that I personally have struggled with, that my actions and what I do would change, and my teachers and people that I've led would say, Why is Jethro making this decision?

He made this totally opposite decision just a couple days ago. Why is he now making this other weird decision? And what I've personally realized through the discussions we've had in this class is that when I'm saying something to be heard or to be seen as special or doing something for attention, then my performance is going to be different.

When I act in alignment with my values, then I'm consistent with those values. Anytime I'm not acting in alignment with my values, I'm not consistent in how I behave. And that was a really powerful self awareness piece for me.

There were a couple instances this semester where People that I coach would say things like, "Yes, Jethro, I've heard you say that before," or "Yes, Jethro has told me this before." And what's reaffirming to me is that those were phrases that are deeply aligned with my values, and I think that that was a really powerful experience for me personally.

[00:05:26] See Others

The next big point that I want to talk about is that all the suggestions for civility in our conversations ultimately came down to one simple thing. That is to really see other people and see their value as human beings. The way I personally describe this is that I see them as children of God who have great potential.

And that's what works for me.

But regardless of whether or not you agree with that particular approach, really seeing people makes a huge difference.

That was a really big awakening for me. 

We talked about all these different ideas and ways of doing things, and ultimately what it always boiled down to was just see the other person and make sure they know that you see them, as a human being. That was really powerful for me.

[00:06:17] Education is the responsibility of parents

And then finally, my last reflection here is this idea of education being the responsibility of parents and the state merely supports parents in that responsibility. I think this is such a fundamental shift in how we have done school and approached school for so long that I would say most educators don't agree with that.

Most educators believe that it is their responsibility to educate kids, and they try to get parents to help them. It's the other way around, that the responsibility for education is the parents responsibility. And we as educators simply help them educate their kids. And I think the really challenging part about this is that when we do that, we lose some power and some control.

And so much of education is based on power and control that it makes it really difficult. And there's a lot of cognitive dissonance for educators when that happens.

[00:07:20] And the Marketing Class

And while I'm here, I will also comment on my marketing class that I took where I learned about HubSpot and Salesforce. And that was a pretty good class, definitely giving you real skills that are worthwhile and meaningful, so I appreciate that. The thing that I really took away from that class is that...

I am just all over the place with my content. 

I've got multiple podcasts in different areas. I've got social media channels. I've got this newsletter slash blog. I've got my blog on JethroJones. com and there's just so much and I really need to simplify and drill down to what it is that I really want to use for communication with my audience. I need to simplify.

That's what it ultimately comes down to. 

[00:08:20] Conclusion

So, in conclusion, big things. Number one, define your own values and act in accordance with your values. Act in alignment with your values. Number two. Really see other people. Number three, simplify.

[00:00:15] Dr. Stacey Gonzales: Yeah. Yeah.

I told my husband this morning at breakfast that my podcast is my playground and my, it's like my practice playground, and. After doing it 33 times, it's helped me not take myself so seriously. It's helped me have a space and a place to use my voice and process in a way that is safe. And so I've really appreciated this practice space.

[00:00:52] Jethro: What I think is funny is you're like this safe place where Anybody on the internet can go listen to it and figure out what I'm saying. That, that, to you is safe, is pretty remarkable.

[00:01:03] Dr. Stacey Gonzales: Thank you.

[00:01:04] Jethro: Yeah. So how do you feel about reception? Do you feel like people are listening? Have people reached out to you or mentioned it?

What do you think?

[00:01:14] Dr. Stacey Gonzales: No, I've not really heard anything from other people. I also think though, I've yet to figure out how to put contact info or anything like that. Like I sent you a potential opener. I don't know if you saw that or not, but like thinking about how do I frame an opener and a closer that's maybe prerecorded.

So that I don't have to every day when I start, have to worry about the opening and the closing piece. So cuz a lot of times I don't necessarily tell people about it in the podcast

[00:01:48] Jethro: Yeah, Uhhuh.

[00:01:49] Dr. Stacey Gonzales: The other thing that I was just thinking about is I wanna put it in a link to my podcast in my signature line, in my email. So I've been thinking about where are places and spaces that I can put this. As now I feel like, okay, pe people, if I put it out there, people are listening. This is where they can access it without me having to extra take extra time to think how do I promote it and where do I put it and do I tweet about it?

Do I, just some places I can put the info.

[00:02:19] Jethro: Yeah, so a couple things on that I would suggest. Number one, I would just have a script for the opening and the closing that you read each time, and then it will be it should be very short, like 15 to 20 words. And, hey, this is Stacey Gonzalez. This is in Public. You can connect with me here and then at the end, thanks for listening.

And. Blah, blah, blah, whatever you wanna say. Call to action, whatever. I think because you're talking so much about soul growth and your process through building that I think having people go to soul Growth and do whatever your lead magnet is there for. For that would be a powerful and worthwhile thing to do.

That's what it seems like to me. You can do whatever you want, of course. But that's what I think would be beneficial. Have a script and then just read that at the beginning and the end of whatever you do that day.

[00:03:16] Dr. Stacey Gonzales: Okay. And when you say have 'em go there, what? What do you mean by there?

[00:03:21] Jethro: Two, whatever you have set up for soul grow, soul growth of how people connect with you there.

[00:03:26] Dr. Stacey Gonzales: I see. Okay. Okay,

[00:03:29] Jethro: That to me that seems like the smartest place to send people.

[00:03:33] Dr. Stacey Gonzales: Okay. I see. Versus the B Podcast Network is, which is what I put at the front of it, I'll probably say as a part of the b podcast network.com.

[00:03:42] Jethro: Please do say part of the B podcast network, cuz we do want people to know that it is part of that. Yeah.

[00:03:48] Dr. Stacey Gonzales: Okay.

[00:03:48] Jethro: So the other thing that that I would suggest as it relates to that is you want people to connect with you on Twitter, on LinkedIn, and put that contact information in there as well.

And then that way you've just got this regular stuff that you're saying each time so that people know how to reach out and connect with you.

[00:04:12] Dr. Stacey Gonzales: Okay.

[00:04:16] Jethro: So what I'll do is I will get you a link that you can put in your signature that will get it out on all the platforms so that people can people can subscribe wherever they're comfortable. It's what I shared with morning motivation for educators. It's a similar link to that, that I shared in our base camp for the network.

So it'll have, Google podcast, Spotify, everything. And that's pretty easy to get and I'll get that for you so you have it. So what has been the hardest thing about doing this podcast?

[00:04:47] Dr. Stacey Gonzales: The hardest thing. Not knowing sometimes what to say, what to share. Days are really long and thinking what is the most relevant or salient or important thing that's top of mind when maybe I have 10 things. And then I do it usually at night, at the end of the day because I feel like that's the reflected reflection of the day.

But sometimes I'm really tired and my mind is not as sharp. At the end of the day. And that's probably a little bit hard also thinking I don't feel like I found my thing yet. And if that makes sense. I feel like I said, it's this playground, it's this pla practice space. I don't wanna make a What would that be called?

Like a shtick? I don't, and shtick is not the right word, but I feel like podcast host have their shtick or what they're known for and I don't feel like I know what my, what it is for me yet. Exactly. And I feel okay with that because I feel like when it's authentic and when it comes to me, I'll know.

But I'm watching or listening or reflecting for that thing that, that feels like the salient through thread to every day. And I just, I don't feel like I've I feel like I'm getting closer, but I don't have it yet.

[00:06:06] Jethro: Yeah. Yep. That that makes sense. And I think that's okay still. The fact is you've done 33 episodes and you've put time and energy into it. How has it benefited you by just doing it, regardless of what people are saying or if people are listening or anything like that.

[00:06:27] Dr. Stacey Gonzales: It's benefited me so much. It has helped me build my confidence. In speaking is even though for all of my career and I've been in front of audiences and I've spoken publicly and I've done all these things, this is a very different way of me speaking. And so it has opened me up to being more open and vulnerable.

And then it helps me when I'm not doing the podcast, when I'm in front of people. In person or on a Zoom. It helps me remember my words are, I can be calm and confident in my words.

[00:07:08] Jethro: Yeah

[00:07:08] Dr. Stacey Gonzales: it also helped me, I started doing like random Facebook's slides here and there, to stretch myself in a practice playground there.

And I would've never done that if I hadn't done the podcast. Never would've went on Facebook Live, ever.

[00:07:23] Jethro: Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. I think you're doing a great job. I'm loving it and I think it's wonderful that you're doing it and. This is an experiment and you could decide tomorrow I'm done and never do another one. And that would be totally fine and no big deal at all. If you're listening to this thank you.

We appreciate it. And share with anybody else and we'll see how long it goes on and what it grows into.

[00:07:49] Dr. Stacey Gonzales: Can I add one other piece before we jump? What you bring to this, I wanna share what you bring as the podcast producer that allows me to do this. Just what you just did and said, I do not feel any pressure from you. And because of that, it allows me to really lean in and be open and not feel like I'm disappointing you or not doing my part for the network or no...

And so today we were discussing our assessment activity that we do with superintendents and their teams, and we were having a pretty intense discussion around the terms. and payment and money around that part of the business. And we were on a conference call and I could tell that two of us were very aligned.

And so for about 15 minutes we went on and on around how we charge, why we charge, what we charge, the amount of people at the table. how school districts are funded and on and on and on. And the thing that became clear at one point is that me and one of my team members were going back and forth for about 15 minutes, and one person was quiet.

And so when I asked, I said, so what do you think? , that team member said, I'm not comfortable with this, but if this is the direction that you two want and you two have more experience than I do and this, and I can, I can go with it, but I, I'm not comfortable with it and I don't like this part and I don't like that part.

And, and the other person that I was in agreement with said, okay, well yeah, I get that, but okay, we're going to keep moving. and I knew that this was not the place and space for us to finish that conversation. And so delicately, I said, we're not in a rush and we're gonna pause. If one of us is not uncomfortable, we owe it to ourselves and to each other.

to con come back and to continue this discussion at a later time because we didn't need to have it settled. It was a conversation through a, um, about a potential client that hadn't even committed yet. Right. We were, we were planning conversations for some client meetings that we have this week, and so after I said that, after I said, you know, I don't feel this is.

Something that we should decide right here and now, and I don't think this is a conversation that we're ready for that quote, two-thirds vote, and however I said it in that moment was directly from my heart because I know that in order to really build something that lives beyond, me. That's legacy. That changes the world, that supports our nation's highest leaders and the challenges they face that we must, as the core team, as the team leading the work, must also be on our own growth path together.

And so what that means and what that looks like is taking time to sit with discomfort and uncertainty. . And then when you're consensus building on a team, you're not looking for checking every single box, but you want more boxes checked than not in alignment. Consensus is about alignment. Consensus is about understanding.

Consensus building is about conversation and collaboration. And so as I'm building these companies, , these critical conversations must be tended to and nurtured just like we do with our clients, our students, our family, those we love and care about. And so that is how I'm building in public today.

But for me this week, the focus really was on the education work that I'm doing on the growth path. And that work is work to support our school leaders work to help. Um, those on the front lines, leading public education in brave, bold, and innovative ways. One of the things that I'm learning for myself through this work is that it is requiring of me to be brave, bold.

And a new leader in a new way. You see, I spent 20 years inside of public education working my way up from a classroom teacher into the highest offices in some of the largest school districts in Illinois. And. While I had a really good ability to understand the nuance of education from a headspace, um, just an and, and a good ability to multitask and, and project manage and lead teams and people, and I did that at a great personal cost.

To myself. And so now what's really cool is I've got myself, Renee, and John. John is the founder of the Growth Path. He's been working with corporate leaders and corporate teams on this growth path, and Renee and I have partnered with him. to bring the growth path to the education space. And the interesting thing about education is once you build a solution that is quality, that begins to have a little bit of momentum behind it.

Doors. Doors begin to open. And this week I had just some really interesting doors open. And through those, through those meetings and conversations, it illuminated a bunch of things for me. But one thing that I did not anticipate was some of the missteps that I took as a new founder. Someone trying to build an entire company.

And that misstep, that miscalculation was in the area of my integrity. And I have a very, I have three core values, trust, communication, and integrity. And I violated my own integrity, um, between John Renee and I. And as a result of that, I needed to, for myself and for the team, um, have some conversations with them and own, own the fact that I lacked integrity in a decision and a choice that I had made.

And in the past, well, first in the past, I probably would've not even have done anything about it. I would've let it go. I would've swept it under the rug and been like, oh, it's fine. It's fine. But instead, I thought about the situation, um, reflected and knew we had this important meeting today at 10 o'clock.

Um, or I can't remember what time exactly, but we had an important meeting. So half an hour before the meeting we were gonna pre-game about the meeting and I knew that I had to out myself and open myself up to sharing my misstep, make no excuses about it, and allow myself to just share that with the team.

And it was so interesting cause I spent a lot of time and got some insights from my coach on how to approach this. And at the end of the day, once I actually met with the team and shared what I shared, they were like, oh, okay. I mean, it was, it was almost as if, um, they got it. They got it and they made the space for me.

It was safe for me. And that was that. And the lesson for me is, and then things, things just naturally opened up, um, from that point on for the rest of my day. And it really reminded me that this whole. Business opportunity. Um, and the opportunities that I'm creating with these two businesses, is my work, my leadership, my life, my hope to have a, a restart.

A new way of being, a new way of, of thinking. Um, a new way of moving forward as, as a leader. in ways that I couldn't do before because I was so busy and I was running in a a million different directions. And even if I wanted to be this kind of a leader as an educator, I, I didn't have the capacity to do it.

I didn't have the awareness, I didn't have the insights. And so what I appreciate most about this opportunity, Is in these early stages, what building these businesses is doing. For me personally as a human, I am a better person who has greater integrity as a result of this work. So if you are joining me on the growth path, I invite you to self-reflect with me.

I'm using this, uh, podcast as an exploration. As an experiment and I invite you to to join in with me. So thank you. Thank you for listening and being here on this Building Public podcast.

It is not about a cognitive understanding. It is about an experience that I'm creating in this space first for myself second. for those who hear it. And then third, for myself when I hear it again later, from a different perspective at a different point in time.

And my hope is through opening myself up and allowing. The insights, understandings, and moments to flow through me as I let them go, as I embrace the courage it takes for me to share openly and publicly in this space.

that this space becomes a catalyst.

A catalyst where the changes that I am experiencing, the transformation that I am sharing publicly while I'm in it in the moment.

Sparks in others. You see, I do not have the answers for your life.

I only know that the answers for mine are inside of me

in order for me to access those answers. What I am learning is to be still is to settle the noise.

I believe elite performers have a unique ability to separate the noise and distractions. From the vision and mission that they have.

And in those moments, those quick moments of decisiveness where they again pull themselves back to the focus. Distraction comes pull themself back, distraction comes, pull themself back. Distraction comes pull themself back. Their ability

to remain focused when distraction comes seems like one of the keys to the success and impact. that those who we might consider high performers.

Just before this recording, I was meditating and what came to me was that. . The reason why people say they can't meditate or doesn't work for them, they don't like to meditate, is perhaps

because meditation is very much like opening the hood of our vehicle

and when we. , open that hood or open our closet door. Sometimes we don't like what we've seen

many times. I think about my closet, and I have places in my closet for everything where my shoes go. Wear shirts are hung. Winter shirts, summer shirts. Spaces and places for everything in the closet,

and I tend to keep my closet pretty tidy, but little by little if on the daily I do not specifically put something back or I just throw a sweatshirt in, or depending on when the dirty clothes wash or all the things. That happen because our clothes are a daily part of our lives, it can get a little disorganized, and part of it is seasons change and change in clothes, and part of it is just pure laziness and inattention to detail

and at times,

it can seem like our mind might be like our closet,

and for many of us, when we get still and get quiet and start to look around and begin to notice, all that is behind the door.

It can be very overwhelming.

It can be very distracting, making it very hard for us to sit and be to just notice the thoughts as they. Plow through or pop through or come and go.

But the first step, the first step in meditation is to sit and to allow,

allow, allow it to be whatever it will be. Kind, gentle, gracious with ourselves. Cuz I talk to so many people every day and connect with many people.

I often hear the way they describe circumstances or things in their lives. One thing I notice is that many times people are really hard on themselves. I know I was, and there are moments when I am still and what has really been coming forward for me as I am stretching myself and growing. in these businesses and in my building public journey is gentleness, kindness, meekness, humility towards myself, giving myself the time and the space and the grace that I would hope.

Others would extend to me that I would extend to others. Like a child,

A child learning to walk. You wouldn't scold the child for stumbling or misstepping. Certainly not. You support the child and reach your hand out and say, let's try again. We're just practicing. This is practice. It's all practice. . So if you are joining me on this Build and Public podcast for the first time, welcome.

Thank you for being here. Thank you for taking the time that you've listened and gotten to this point.

This is a journey, not a one time event. It's an experience that will continue to unfold and evolve. . So I invite you to join me on my building public journey for Stacy Gonzalez. I'm looking forward to it.

Daily, and it's interesting because when I talked to my podcast producer about this show and what it meant to build publicly, he mentioned that it takes a lot of courage and. I didn't really feel that way when I said yes, I want to build a daily podcast. I just knew that I had something inside of me that I needed to share or wanted to share in a way that would be authentic and relatable.

I didn't know it would challenge me to grow in such profound ways, because showing up for yourself consistently every day, trying to have something new or have a reflection. that is insightful, that other people might wanna listen to instead of asking myself the question as I sit here in my, in my room alone, recording a podcast to myself of what do I need to remember today?

And so I invite you. to ask yourself that question because what I am learning for myself is that what I need is a space and a place where I can be completely safe in my bedroom by myself recording this podcast.

And I can have a place and a space where my voice is heard and will be potentially heard again by someone else,

and learning to use my voice has been a really huge learning growth for me. . Hmm. Learning to use my voice, learning to trust my voice,

learning to embrace my voice, all of it from that part of my heart and soul that is the most genuine

inviting you to yours. that space and place inside of you, where you are just you. And so I realize tonight's podcast was a bit of a departure.

I brought a different perspective, a different focus to try something in a way that might work for me better. I don't know. But this podcast, this space, this moment is about creating and learning to create. That is what I am building. Whether I'm talking about building a business or I'm talking about building myself, I'm building, and so

I'm letting go and I'm inviting you to bring your journey, your growth next to mine, and together, together we'll learn. A thing or two along the way. I'm Stacy Gonzalez. This is my Build in Public podcast. Thank you.

When I go for a walk with the dog in the morning, it feels great to be doing an activity that brings me grounding, that brings me joy. And so cooking dinner, or me and my husband didn't always bring me joy. Actually. It felt icky. I didn't like to cook dinner. I did not like to prepare meals. I felt like a task and a chore and really exhausting hard work, especially after a long day.

And so part of my decision to leave education and become an entrepreneur was so that I could have multi aspects to my life and all of those aspects. Could work together in a harmonious way. And I feel like the work I'm doing now and the way I'm approaching the work is feeling like it's in better harmony as I build out my ideal day, my ideal morning.

And so that's really to me what my growth path and my journey and. , this sole growth journey that I've been on, knowing that growth doesn't come in learning modules like we think in education, but they come when individuals make a commitment to each other, but more importantly to themselves. And I couldn't be more proud of who I am becoming.

On my entrepreneur journey and finding ways to balance my life better that works for me, such as recording a podcast while cooking, starting to to make dinner. And so with that, today's podcast is gonna be short. In order to build in public the life that is of your dreams than that you love, um, you have to do it differently.

And so I think my. building public journey is about me doing things differently and I'm appreciating the space to do that, to try things, to build my confidence and competence in public ways that feel open and safe, like this building public podcast. So if, if, if you are new, if you are just joining, welcome

My name is Stacy Gonzalez and. I just appreciate you being on this journey with me as I am becoming this calm, confident creator who is doing some pretty amazing things and, and at the end of the day, am really thankful for a space to, to share those things and keep a record. Um, because at the end of the day, that is what we have, right?

Um, so thank you for joining me on this journey and, um, I hope, I hope you will tune in as we continue to build together.

And that's the reason why I do this daily Build and public podcast is because every day we have an opportunity to learn something new. And every day we have an opportunity to take what we learn and integrate it into our lives in tangible ways, in practical ways. And so that's really what this podcast.

Is becoming, it is my learning journey, my documentation of being a founder and what it feels like to choose yourself, to choose business that serves you. First versus you trying to fit your life into your business. And so I'm really figuring out how to have my business fit my life, and it's been a really amazing and beautiful thing.

And so today, uh, I had the opportunity to, uh, have a meeting and I turned off. My email off my phone and I really stayed offline, um, over the weekend. And what happened is some of my team members actually sent some emails for today's meeting and I didn't look at my email. I, I wanted to do some meditation and I wanted to take my time this morning.

To be fully present in the moment, in the best way I know how, and so for me, that requires time and energy. I did a meditation. I went for a walk. I cleaned my house. I did some breath work. I took a cold shower, and so I put all my practices in place and I just gave myself space to prepare for this important business meeting that I had today.

And even despite all that preparation and even despite having the agenda ready and having multiple emails going, I was nervous and I was scared and I didn't know if I would successfully be able to navigate the meeting cuz it's new. And my team members and I were learning together. We're learning each other, we're learning about each other, we're learning to trust each other and all that to say it was an amazing meaning.

And it's so rewarding and and such a privilege to be able to see myself take these steps of courage and nobody knows. I feel it on the inside. Nobody knows what it's really like. I know what it's like. Take these steps of courage and trusting myself that I can. Be this person that I believe I am this business owner who is building amazing solutions that help people's lives change.

Providing space for people to be for love and following our hearts to grow and flourish. Cause that's, that's really what I'm doing. It's no different from when I was a teacher. Frankly, bringing people together around a shared vision. It's Cotter's work, right? If you know of John Cotter's work, the Eight Steps to Transformative Change as you get people invested in the Y and you build a guiding coalition.

Those are steps one and two, and we've got a strong why and we're building a guiding coalition, and people continually step up, come to the table. And make themselves available to support the vision, and it's so incredible and so humbling at the same time. So if you are on any sort of trust journey to yourself, if you are looking to breakthrough, tap into that little place.

Of courage within you overcome that little space of fear. If I can do it , if I can do it after 20 years in a completely different industry, not having any clue what I'm doing, you can do it too. Certainly. Certainly. I'm Stacy Gonzalez. Thank you for joining me on my building public learning journey.

The bad, the ugly of this founder's journey and yesterday was Thursday and I took the day off by and large and really just had nothing much on my schedule. Had a full open day and frankly did not do much. Um, had. Happened to have like a meeting or two. But, um, I took a nap and I watched a Netflix show and I played with my puppy and it was, it was thundering and raining out.

We had a lot of lightning storms and I like sat on the couch and watched the lightning and the rain and enjoyed it and appreciated it. And so yesterday I, at the end of the. Must have really taken my mind off because I forgot to record my Build in Public podcast . And so here is today's little late, but nonetheless podcast update.

And the thing that I want to share and talk about today is the idea of hustle. And women in particular who are middle-aged, such as myself, I'm 48 years old, who are building their second careers in ways that feel honest, true, aligned, and more soulful for them. And I meet with women regularly who are leaving their career.

um, the first careers similar to what I did and are navigating the complexities of building a business with the experiences and expertise that they have and doing it in a way that is digital, um, and allows them to build from a bootstrapped space. Um, because for many of us who have sacrificed for our children, Sacrificed for, um, our first careers and raising a family and being wives and, um, all the other things that come with that.

We are desiring to do things differently, and that means giving ourselves more space to create and be creative. Um, you know, not having to have all the answers, but putting plans in place and trusting that when. show up when we, um, operate from a place that is in alignment with who we are and the desires of our heart.

Opportunities will open up and unfold. And so as we think about this startup culture, hustle culture, uh, for many, we did that our first careers, and I'm not entru. in doing that again, this time around as I build this second, second foray, second chapter. And what's interesting is I find that I have a co-founder, Renee, um, she's on the, the last episode, if you wanna go back and hear that.

But we have different ways of working. Obviously no two people work exactly the same and. When I start to feel stressed about all the things that we could be doing, should be doing, um, you know, outside of the goals that we have in place, um, and all the details around the work. And she'll say something like, I'm gonna go take the dog for a walk and I'm gonna da, da, da.

and I know that what I'm feeling in that moment might be stressed about something and I'm thinking, well, I'd like to go take my dog for a walk right now. And the reality is, I can, I could stop. I could go take the dog for a walk. And so what I'm noticing is the mindset shifts and I'm giving myself time and space to understand.

Past mindset patterns that are limiting beliefs. And as a founder, in order to build a successful, uh, business, we must be really clear and open to the things that are, are limiting us. Because if they're limiting us, they're gonna limit the pro the progress. They're gonna limit our businesses. They're gonna limit the potential for other people.

when they engage with us. And so I take that really seriously and I spend a lot of time thinking about how, and, and not only thinking, but sensing my way through, um, and processing through from also a heart led space. How do I stay more open? How can I find the lifestyle and life that serves me first? So that I can serve others more openly, willingly, and with greater impact.

And that's a journey. And really for me, that is what I am finding to be the most challenging part of this founder's journey. It requires a different type of courage. Courage that comes from a deep place within. that feels very charged when um, it's time to take a step in faith, step into trying something new and be being someone new.

And really, cuz that's what this is about. It's about being who I believe I am in the, in the best way every day, kind of stepping into that, a new every day. And it's a different way of process. In a different way of being every day. And so as I continue to get clarity on that, um, sometimes I know I need to just give myself a break.

And that was yesterday. The work is hard. The work for me is mostly inner work. Um, and, and as I'm working through that inner work at times, my, I have to remember, I need to give myself grace, kindness, and time for my mind, my body. my emotions to catch up sometimes. And so that is the building public journey that I am on, and I'm excited for those of you who are on this journey with me, there's some great things in store for us that are coming and I encourage you to hold on, hold deeply inside to find those riches for.

[00:00:01] Dr. Stacey Gonzales: Welcome to today's Filled in Public podcast, and if you're new to the podcast, first and foremost, I just wanna thank you for joining. Welcome. I'm Stacey Gonzalez and this is a Build in Public podcast. Where we talk about the company that I'm building, I'm building two, but the one I mostly talk about is this one called Soul Growth with my business partner Renee Devore, who is also here with me live today.

Hi everyone. And so we are podcasting from our pajama party , and that's true. And so maybe it's a nice moment tonight to share. The founder's journey or origin story, if you will, of how Renee and I met and how, and four months later, we are now having our first pajama party at Renee's House, . So maybe we'll tell our story.

What do you think about that? Go for it. Yeah. Okay. So Renee had reached out to me on LinkedIn. in May of 2021. May of 2021. That's right. And I ignored her. Oh no. May of 2022. Yeah. Oh, 2020. Well, she ignored me. I did ignore her. And then did you

[00:01:26] Renee Devore: reach out again? I did. I reached out again. So we had moved from Vermont to Chicago in July and I was still looking for people to connect with and I couldn't understand why Stacy Gonzalez, who had left education and was successful transition transitioning out, would not get back to me.

And so, I don't do this very often, but I thought that I would try again in October and reached out to her again. And then I Then I heard from her in

[00:01:59] Dr. Stacey Gonzales: December. Yeah, two months later. That's right. And so I got fired from a sales job and I thought I should probably go through my LinkedIn and like refresh this and update this and.

And then I found this one. I'm like, oh my gosh, look at all these connection requests that have been sitting here for months. And I had hundreds of them. And so I found Renee's and I responded like, Hey, sorry for the delay. I mean, I did apologize. Oh, you did? I did. And we jumped on a call that next. Week.

And as we were chatting, I'm like, oh, okay. I feel like she's kind of cool. Like she's passed the telephone test , and I mean, it's true. Yeah, it's true. And so we decided to meet at a little local, um, tequila bar by our house for a drink and just get to know each other. And so it was, it was a nice enough conversation.

There was a little bit of business talk, but nothing, nothing. You know, like we weren't. Necessarily thinking we were gonna be in business together, were you thinking that? No, no. Well, you never thought you'd be, have a business partner. That's

[00:03:09] Renee Devore: later on

[00:03:10] Dr. Stacey Gonzales: in this story. She never thought she was gonna have a business.

And I had told her in that conversation. I'm like, yeah, I tried to have a couple business partnerships. They didn't work out. And so now I'm looking for my next thing. I wanna be a number one hire. A first hire with a a. You know, startups who have gotten. Their first round of funding. And so when I came back from the holidays and vacation, cuz it was like Christmas time, Renee had texted me and again, again, because she's, she wanted me this whole time and we ended up, I texted her back and I said, Hey, my husband's on the couch with a man cold.

And if we were friends like that, I would invite myself over to your house because she literally lives three miles from my. And the place in the community where I grew up for 35 years, the last 35 years, and she's like a nomad who's been all over the country, lived on the west coast, lived on the east coast, lived in Mexico, and like, you know, the universe just like dropped her into my backyard.

And so I'm like, Hey, can I come hang out at your place? She's like, sure, come over. I've got wine. And I walked into her. And I was like, who even lives? Like this is like Joanna Gaines here. Like how are things so cute and perfect and like decorated with unmatching matching things. like things that you would not put together naturally, but like when you put 'em together, they look super cute.

And so I just felt like really at home, obviously I like your home . Yeah, I'm here now in my pajamas. Yeah. Yeah. And. Then what were we doing? Oh, we were drinking wine because wine is definitely most necessary. And I saw this little soul growth card that she had that said, so, oh, you handed it to me. You said, I'm handing, I'm passing this out with this s e t-shirt shop called Soul Growth.

And I'm tell showing, giving this to women for like what they, what they, I wanna give them what I would. And I'm like, I love this soul growth. This is the business. We can make this into

[00:05:23] Renee Devore: business. Yeah. That's what happened. That's totally what happened.

[00:05:28] Dr. Stacey Gonzales: And then the next day we, oh no, that night we planned the next Friday or something to have our first business meeting.

January 19th, I think. Yeah. January

[00:05:37] Renee Devore: 19th. is when it all went down the first

[00:05:40] Dr. Stacey Gonzales: business meeting. And so today is April 19th. Oh my gosh.

[00:05:45] Renee Devore: It is. It's our four month anniversary. It's our four month

[00:05:47] Dr. Stacey Gonzales: anniversary. It's so exciting and so we have just been figuring it out as we go . Literally. Yeah. And following our heart.

Yeah. And watching what unfolds before us. Yeah, and I think the biggest thing about soul growth, After four months of talking about it and trying to get clear on what it is and what we do and who we serve and how we do it, and all the millions of questions that when you are supposed to like have a go to market plan.

And I think for us it's really about doing business differently and trusting that things will unfold exactly as they should in the timing that they should. like we're broker than we've ever been. Mm-hmm. , I've shared this a lot on this podcast. Yeah. But I feel more calm and confident and have inner peace more than I ever have.

Mm-hmm. Dao. And so this soul growth journey is that it's a journey we invite you to be a part of the journey. We're starting Soul Girl Sundays, which is gonna be a virtual community for women who want to connect. With their heart and soul and do business differently, and we're just really thankful that you're on this journey with us.

If you're listening to this, we invite you to join us and we look forward to getting to know you. Do you wanna say anything before we go?

[00:07:16] Renee Devore: No. Thank you for being a part of Soul Growth.

[00:07:20] Dr. Stacey Gonzales: Yay.

and that thing is confidence and trust. And that confidence and that trust is not in the multiple meetings with people. I had today, I talked to so many people. I had probably about six. No, that's not. That's not true. Uh, maybe six, one-on-one conversations at least, maybe seven or eight. And I had two children who were leaving home to go live away together in Texas,

and it's my husband and i's. , um, not first my husband and i's 25th wedding anniversary from our first marriage because we got divorced and married again. Um, so April 18th, 1998 was our first marriage, and so today was our 25th anniversary. And on top of all of that, I. struggle with confidence, and ultimately for me, that comes down to trust in myself

and the most times when throughout my day. , I can think about where my confidence is uncertain and I feel like I am walking on my own eggshells in my own body, that I choose an that moment to study myself and to calm myself and to find the inner. and it's not something I share very much with people because you sound anxious talking about your anxiety, and so it's something that I work really hard to regulate.

and to steady myself against and to stay grounded and focused, and

it's that confidence and trust that in the moment when I start to sense that unsettling in the moments when I'm in a convers. And I feel my voice starting to quiver and shake, and I feel my heart pounding and I start wondering if what I'm saying even makes any damn sense at times where most of my challenges today came from.

And there was one particular conversation today that. shook me, shook my confidence, had me questioning myself, had me wondering if I was crazy, and obsessing a little bit about it and overanalyzing it and talking to my husband about it and thinking about what am I going to , what, as I'm obsessing about.

I'm then remembering, oh, and I have to do my podcast tonight, and I don't have to do it. I want to do it right. I wanna do my podcast. What am I gonna talk about? Um, how about the fact that you've been obsessing for the last three hours about your confidence and conversations and trusting yourself, and how about you just talk about that and how I believe an entrepreneurial.

is truly a life that you build, the life that you wanna live as an entrepreneur. And in order to do that, it requires inner understanding of the parts of your life that you have to deal with for yourself that nobody can deal with, for you, that nobody can work through for you. And in those moments, in business that you are experiencing that I think that's when I, I'm able to realize this is my growth.

This is the part of the work that when your back's against the wall and you hold steady and you decide. , you're just gonna stay in the fight. And I feel like that's how, even when your confidence is shaken, and even when you're not sure you can trust your own self like that, that's where the growth happens.

And that's where you know that, that you are breaking through. And that's how I. That's where I'm at in this journey, and so thank you. Thank you for being on this journey with me as I continue to grow. Hopefully , the growth will become even more and more obvious from the day-to-day. Thanks for listening.

Uh, we live close enough and so she comes over to my, uh, house and we were working in the office today and I'm building out some technical, uh, requirements for the, uh, website and some Zoom live workshops that we're gonna be hosting to really bring women together. Um, we're calling it soul Growth. And as I'm trying to get this technology to work, I wanted to create a way for women to register and to have a model where they could pay what they wanted for the, um, opportunity to connect.

But I did want to offer some skin in the game for a couple reasons. Number one, the tech stack that we're paying. if minimally, um, we just get enough donations to help us pay for that, that would be great. As broke bootstrapping founders and Renee was working on some email copy for, um, some email campaigns that we're working on while she was writing.

I was working on these technical aspects and it was really getting quite frustrating at some points. , I could not create this series. The payment portal wasn't working. The donations weren't allowing, um, the donations to come up on the site. And all in all, um, it just was not functioning the way I had hoped it would, would function.

And so after like the second or third time, Renee looked at me and she said, why don't you just go for a walk? And I thought That's a great. . So I took the dog out for a little walk and just re-centered myself. And that is the thing about this soul growth journey. And what is, is the great thing about having a, a partner and also the difficult thing.

You, you see yourself, right? You see the frustration that you're facing and the other person, the other person hears it and, you know, working closely together on something. Has nothing yet, um, per se. And, and really trying to build something up digitally is quite the challenge. Uh, but what was interesting is that, uh, we got through that, um, she left probably about, you know, two o'clock today and then all of a sudden inspiration came and I was able to pull some things together, um, relative to a website that we've been working on really quickly and easily, and.

things ki the, the creative pieces, the Canva pieces, which usually I get a little, uh, str. I struggle with that. At times, the design aspects kind of just started to flow, and so today was a really productive day. Um, I've been, I've been really kind of playing around with my morning time, giving myself permission to.

really wake up and, and have kind of the practices I want without pressure in my day. And so that's been, um, amazing as well. This morning I just felt like I woke up at four before my alarm even went off, which is always my goal. The hope is that I, that I wake up by four. Um, I had a, I had a phone conversation with a woman that was gonna help do some volun volunteer.

Bros. We just had a great soulful conversation about personal and professional and, and mixing the two of those and what that means and looks like for us. And so, all in all, great day. I'm really tired and, um, gonna be going to bed early tonight, but really glad that, uh, things are starting to come together and excited about the Soul Girl Sundays as we launch.

If you're new to this podcast, I just wanna thank you for. and listening to my journey, I'm still working through what this podcast actually is, is looking and feeling like. Um, it's really still my experimental sandbox, my reflection place at the end of every day. And, uh, allowing me to have the space to learn, grow, reflect, and um, really be proud of the progress.

Um, and, and. Uh, that I'm on. Thanks.

You're going through the motions without being the motions. Without being in the motions. And today on our growth path work, which is the work with educators, it was really a challenging day for me because I feel like. Both the sole growth work I'm doing and the growth path work I'm doing, while very different in scope and how I'm approaching the work as a entrepreneur and a founder are also so similar and so aligned, and I feel like I don't really share much about the growth path work because.

that work seems more personal to me. That work is about the public education system in the United States. That work is politically charged with things so outside of my control that to ignore them seems, um, ignorant and to acknowledge them seems like I'm perpetuating to a narrative that. Really do not want to keep putting into the system.

I believe in the education system education, Nelson Mandela, quote from Nelson Mandela. Our education system and being catered is the most powerful weapon that you can have. It's the most powerful weapon in the world. Having access, access to knowledge and opportunity, and I keep the work I do with educators and education on a very tight narrative.

It's very stealth. It's very under. And I think the reason I do that and really focus on soul growth in this building public podcast is because the work in education, nobody understands on a soul level the difficulties and challenges that educators are facing, especially those in the highest position.

People don't understand. I would take a school superintendent and put him or her up against a corporate c e o any day of the week and talk about the challenges. You are talking about people literally bringing guns into schools. Uh, that, that pressure, that's, that is where politics aren't even coming into.

That is where you are on high alert all the time, but you don't have, see what our politicians have when you sit in those seats is you have, you have protections, you have some protections around you, and our local superintendents sitting in those seats do not have that. It is, it is hard. It is difficult.

And so part of the work that I am so impassioned about doing is support. Are leaders in those most highest seats in our local public schools, and I believe that that is going to need to look differently. Battle lines have been drawn in this country, , that is just facts. And in order to lead schools, which lead our children, which lead to a free and.

Thinking society, which of course has problems. Yes, it has problems. Of course it does. It is a government regulated institution. Yes, it has problems, but if we are to change things, the change has to come from multiple places without it being so over. And so that's part of the work that we are building on the growth path.

And I cannot do that work if I do not have a platform and a ability to showcase how work can be done differently with superintendents. And I've been building behind the scenes and I'm. To say it's time to do things differently. It's time to stand up. Some work for educators, for superintendents, those leading the work on the local levels, those in the trenches that others do not understand, and it's time to give 'em a platform.

And so this week my focus has been on building. Both my own soul growth journey, but also allowing others to build the growth path education journey in order to move things in the public K-12 education space. Because no matter how far away I get from being an entrepreneur and doing things differently, I will always have the heart of a teacher, the heart of education in this country, and what it is, what isn't, what it has meant for me and so many at the heart of who I am and what I do.

And that is today's soul growth building public journey.

I live in the Chicagoland area where , the winters are really, really dark and really, really cold, where you aren't even sure that nature exists outside because things are frozen over. And right now it's April and this week things suddenly changed. The weather turned and we've had an entire week in the eighties.

And what's been so interesting is the energy and the aliveness that has come with this sudden change in temperature. There are people out in my neighborhood walking. There are dogs. . Being excited on walks and people waving and the kindness that strangers are exhibiting is quite remarkable. And a reminder that after long, cold, dark winters, that spring and summer will emerge.

And that's what my cell. Personal journey has been like, one of the books that I really appreciate and have enjoyed is Thomas Moore's, dark Knight of the Soul. And in that book, he really describes this journey where when we are in the dark, deep, dark, cold places of our. . Um, we're really the only ones that know what we're going through and know what that experience is like when we cannot feel sense, see, hear, or understand that there's anything for us on the other side of this darkness.

And suddenly things start to appear. Life emerges. Energy begins to move in significant and meaningful ways, and that. What has happened not only in the Chicagoland area where I live, but also for me in this soul growth business journey. This week I was really struggling with some of the digital aspects around the build out of our soul growth community and mastermind groups, and was struggling.

Some of the details and the copy and the digital assets that needed to be built out and really was in this kind of this dark place around marketing. And you know, people have asked me, oh, if you had somebody gave you a million dollars or a hundred thousand dollars right now to do something with for the company, what would you do?

And I've. Hire a marketing strategy team, a go to market strategy around these digital assets, because if you're building a digital company, having digital assets that are aligned that represent who you are and what you do, I think is probably one of the, if not the most important aspects of a digital presence.

Now, the things that you create and put into the world are representative of the vision, the mission, the values, the identity of the company. And that is hard. That's hard work. That's deep work. That's that's challenging work. And so as Renee and I have been muddling through that work, we've been doing the best that we can with the skills that we have, right?

Our skills are in teaching, our skills are in leading. skills are in trusting and building, not necessarily designing digital artifacts to build digital systems. And this week I had a really powerful conversation with someone who I believe is, is I'm not ready to talk exactly about what suddenly occurred because I wanna give it some time and space and opportunity to grow in bloom.

But I just wanna take this podcast. This moment to acknowledge this inflection point, this suddenly that we are experiencing. And so growth. You know, it's one thing to build a company based on a product. It's another thing entirely to build a company based on a sheer belief. The goodness of humans and the desire of human beings to want to operate from a deeper place, a more fulfilling place, a space and a place where it is really grounded and rooted in their identity.

And so that's what we're aiming for. That's what we're going for, is we are building soul growth. And I think this week has challenged me in some ways, um, to just sit down and start. Building out a Luma page and building out a, um, a zoom, you know, live event and just putting it out there and, and having it be paid and expecting people to see the value, um, understand the value and wanna participate.

And so, um, a little nervous, a little excited on both ends, but still consistently continuing to show up. And I think that. The ultimate purpose of being on a soul growth journey , is that no matter what is happening, no matter what we're feeling, no matter what is coming our way, we continue to show up on this soul growth path.

So I am Stacy Gonzalez, and if you are new to this podcast, I appreciate you listening. Thank you for taking the time to think deeply about what you. For your soul, for your journey, what does your soul growth look like? What does it mean for you? Invite you to share that with us. Join your journey with ours.

Thank you.

And I'm gonna share my high of today and my low. And then I'm gonna pass this over to Renee for her to share what was her high and her low. And I think for me, the high today was, um, for the past two days, Renee has been coming to my home work. We live very close in proximity to each other. And before I even like totally get into that, let me back up for a second.

And thank you and welcome you to the podcast. I was so excited about the day that I forgot to welcome my listeners. So thank you for being here today. But back to what I was sharing, Renee and I live very close to each other, and the best part of that is we get to work together in person. And while that is lovely and amazing, sometimes it's also difficult and causes me to be face-to-face with some of the difficulties of the work that we are standing up right now.

And so today we were working on building out some backwards. Some curriculum, uh, for some work that we're doing. And it just was really challenging. And while Renee and I were working, I could feel on the inside how I was starting to get a little stressed out about it. And I wanted to be very open. I was hoping that I could listen to what she was having to say.

Kind of take her ideas, put 'em into structure, help us. To an end outcome and through the course of trying to figure out how to engage with one another around this work, we just had this moment where, what did you say to me when I said, I'm done now. What did I say? How did that happen? You

[00:02:18] Renee: just said, I'm done.

And I was like, well, that didn't

[00:02:20] Dr. Stacey Gonzales: feel good. Yeah. I said, I'm done. And she said, well, that didn't feel good. And then what happened? Do you remember?

[00:02:30] Renee: No. And then you kind of went on and just like we were trying to navigate each other where we were in that particular timeframe. Um, and then you got emotional.

[00:02:40] Dr. Stacey Gonzales: I did get emotional. It was a really hard conversation and I think the hardest part was I was feeling very, we're gonna get off up here. I was feeling super, like I was trying so hard to be flexible and I. Really wanting to allow your creativity to shine through. I wanted to be really open and I wanted to be really, um, like available to what your thoughts were.

And so I was trying really hard to like push aside what I was thinking and hone into what you were thinking. And, and then it just, I, I think I got overwhelmed at some point,

[00:03:28] Renee: but I also. Because you were not coming as you are. Like you were, you were showing up differently in order to serve me. Mm. Which I think that there's benefits to that, but I think it was almost like over overkill to the point where it, it confused things you were working like over time.

Yeah. To try and navigate the project that we were working on and also, uh, you know, connect to whatever my needs were, how I operated and. I think that that's part of how the, the overwhelm piece of this all came

[00:04:03] Dr. Stacey Gonzales: to be. Yeah. And so what I realized when we kind of had this moment where Renee was like, yeah, that didn't feel great the way you just said that.

Like, I, cuz I was like, I'm done now and

[00:04:20] Renee: we can laugh at it now. We can. We weren't laughing at it. We weren't laughing five hours ago.

[00:04:25] Dr. Stacey Gonzales: Um, I think what it really made me realize was that I, I can have a voice in the process as well, and I can, um, also set boundaries. Around Here's how I'm thinking something should look or feel.

Um, and I think I just wasn't doing that today. Mm-hmm. greatly. Mm-hmm. .

[00:04:51] Renee: Well, I think the, the other thing that also, uh, showed up today was this fear that you, you, yeah. Abandonment. Fear. Yeah. The fear that you carry forward into this relationship of thinking that it could end at any time, and then if you take the wrong step or do the wrong thing or say the wrong thing.

I'm gonna leave this partnership and I think that that was, um, a really important breakthrough for both of us today. For me to hear that and then you giving me examples of like, when I say in 10 years I wanna be retired and living in Mexico, . You thinking that that means I'm just, you're breaking up with me today.

Break up with you 10. From now today. Yeah. Yeah. Um, and that just isn't the case. I think we both have been through, like me getting into my first, uh, you know, engagement at the age of 47. Like I worked really hard to get to that place, to be in this healthy, nurturing, loving, uh, relationship with my partner.

And you've done the same with your Tim, you know, coming around Yeah. In your second marriage to him. . Um, which I think is important also, but we've had to work really hard to get there. Mm-hmm. . Um, and that should serve us in this relationship too. So we should learn what we've gained in creating those relationships with our partners, you know, uh, and how that connects with us here in our business partnership.

[00:06:22] Dr. Stacey Gonzales: And so for tonight's soul Growth Building Public journey, we

[00:06:28] Renee: are inviting you

[00:06:29] Dr. Stacey Gonzales: to explore. , what do you need as you think about your own partnerships, relationships, uh, what do you need for yourself when it comes to being fulfilled in business and the work that you're doing? Because even when it's hard, I feel like for us, Even when it's hard, like today was kind of hard on some levels.

It was also really rewarding. It was also really fulfilling to know that we can have conflict, we can have challenge, but that does not mean we have to stay there. We can, we can work through it. And that was kind of the big takeaway for me today. And we were

[00:07:10] Renee: able to show up. We had another meeting. This, yeah, we did this evening, like we ended our, like that meeting she's talking about at.

This afternoon and we had another engagement at five o'clock that we had to, we had to come ready to, yeah, to be a part of and to not be able to like carry that baggage from that conversation, that emotion that we, we had and that conversation and carry that forward and be able to leave that behind, I think is super powerful, um, as well.

[00:07:42] Dr. Stacey Gonzales: So thank you for joining. Building public journey. If you are following us and you're listening to this um, podcast, we appreciate you and we invite you to join with us on your own soul growth journey.

And it's a Friday, and it's Easter weekend, and it was a really busy day today and very emotionally charged. Um, a lot of conversations that did not go great for me today and, and some that did go great. Um, but certainly I had a whopper of a conversation. Um, and in yesterday's podcast I shared the email about the women that I had invited to help me build out the digital platform.

And on our call today to do introductions, um, as I started to open discussion around the value. around what they were hoping for and what would they want to get out of this experience of volunteering to help build this. It, um, was, became very apparent to me that one of the women in particular, um, felt that I was not clear in what I was asking her to do.

and that I was coming across as directive potentially, and

it was a really difficult, I could tell as she was kind of very graciously and professionally explaining to me my lack of clear communication that I. listened and thanked her. And then we had a call, we had a call after after that. And a couple things about, about that is it really helped me realize, like as I've been reflecting on it today, what do I need to do?

Well, I think I need to write a, kind of like a report, a narrative. Um, when I was. Building the education team. I had a committee, one of my, um, committees in the district. And so I created an entire booklet, um, of information about what that, that would look like, um, and how we would meet and connect and gather and all kind of like the rules and, and regulations.

and I think that's too much. But I do think I need something documented. And so I need to start creating some documentation and I'm gonna need some space and some head space to do that. And so I've gotta really look at my calendar and think about how I want to, um, start that process so that way Renee and I have information.

Um, and we have, we have an ability to connect with others without us being there. And then maybe making like a little video or something, right? So there's a video if you wanna watch it, and here's a, here's a handbook. Um, and so all that to say it was a really, it was a tough. , I had a lot of anxiety today.

I felt like I took a lot of big risks with people today in conversations and some felt like I stumbled and I failed and I, um, but I got back up and I went over to Renee's and I felt really badly because she. Was really feeling bad about her father's death and, and grieving. She was just really grieving.

Um, but I was glad that I got to go over there and be there for her. And so this founder's journey is unlike anything I've ever experienced before. It is stretching me in such new ways and. parts of me that are becoming more creative, more open, more thoughtful. And then there's these other parts of me that are like, how is this all gonna work out and where are the pieces gonna come together?

And um, and I have this plan. Are, can we really make, can we really get to what we need to get to? So anyways, all that to say, I'm really thankful for this time in this space to, um, build in public with you. So thanks for being on journey with me and really looking forward to, um, keeping this building public journey going.

So this one is gonna get delivered and shipped no matter what. So I'm Dr. Stacy Gonzalez and. Co-founder of Soul Growth, a boutique and unique lifestyle brand, creating soulful experiences in a community of women who desire to live the life they love and deserve. And that's what I did today, my day today, while not perfect because nothing is perfect, was as close to.

my ideal day as I would like, and that's on the work front. I think there's some things I could definitely shore up on the personal front, but on the work front and on how things flowed and how I was able to articulate and move in and through the work today felt really empowering, felt really aligned, felt like I.

Kind of in that flow state zone, if you will, and that included some really amazing time connecting with my family. I did a one-on-one coaching session with my son, who's 22 and was super open. Two, sitting down and doing a coaching session. And what I realized in that, because I don't know about you, but if, if, if you've ever done any sort of coaching, um, the most difficult part is being a translucent, transparent mirror.

Maybe translucent trans. No opaque. Opaque, opaque is the word. I'm sorry, opaque, where the other person can see the. Clearly in you without any judgment, without any reservation. And it really requires this beautiful openness is the way I describe it. And it was, it was just such a nice moment. I happened to have time today and he came upstairs and I just asked, and I knew that would be something that would be really, um, maybe meaningful if he wanted that.

And so that was great. And then we. All these calls today regarding, um, some other work, uh, Renee and I do with education and educational leaders. And things are just pinging and firing, and I can feel my strength, my inner resolve, my confidence, my clarity, my ability to trust my instincts, just every day exponentially becoming more and more reliable, more and more certain.

And so at about, I don't know, two 30 or so today, Renee called me for like the 18th time and she was checking in like, how's your energy? We've been doing a lot today. There's been a lot of things happening. And I said, yeah, I'm feeling great. Like you wanna go on a field trip? And so she popped over to my house, which is awesome because literally I have a co-founder that lives three miles away from my house.

Which still, every time I think of that and say that it, it just is such a reminder of how blessed and lucky I am. And so we jumped in the car. It was beautiful, beautiful day in Chicago. So we jumped in the car. We, uh, put like, you know, a little thing in the gps, we found this little gem gem store, this like hidden gem store.

Picked out a few little things and then we ended up going to the restaurant, uh, Mexican restaurant, tequila bar where we met for the very first time in December, December 20th, in fact. And so it was just a really lovely, beautiful day today. That was a reminder of showing up, setting our intention.

Executing, executing, executing and executing. Um, and not placing boundaries on the ac, on the outcomes, not placing boundaries on the results. Placing boundaries on the execution. And that is, I think, the highlight for me. I make the plan, I put the boundaries on the execution, and I watch the results unfold.

And for whatever reason, I had this notion for a very long time that I could control results, that I could control outcomes. And that has completely changed for me. And that mindset shift. It's changing my life. It's changing my life. It's changing my life when it comes to how I think about value exchange, um, in particular, when I think about money and the value of money as an input versus the value of money as an output, totally different, right?

And so all these little things are popping, um, and the growth feels like it's happen. so quickly, and it's almost as if I can't reflect quickly enough. So thank you. Thank you for being on this reflective journey with me as we are building something important and if you are wondering about what's next for you, if you are at a place.

you know, there's some change. There's some inner inkling of a sense somewhere in there that's calling you to take a step into yourself. Then I encourage you to do it. I encourage you to, to get still, to listen, to allow. Still small voice to lead you into what's next for you. And you don't have to question it, and you don't have to have it all figured out, and you don't need to know the answers, but maybe you just take one step, one step, uh, towards yourself.

And so as I'm taking one step and greater alignment towards myself, so thanks for being on this building public journey with me and, uh, looking forward. To seeing where we continue to grow.

Stacy Gonzalez, and I am the co-founder of Soul Growth. We are a boutique and unique lifestyle brand, creating soulful experiences both digitally and in person for women who desire to live the life they love and deserve. How did that sound? That is the first time that I feel like I got somewhere close to who we are.

What we do, who we serve, and how we serve them. Um, I don't think it's exactly right, but it's closer and I can feel every day myself getting a little more clarity. And so for today's build and public update, I've got some really exciting news. At least it's exciting for me. Uh, Renee and I spent the majority of the day today.

In a end of quarter review and of quarter one and a quarter two goals, uh, building exercise, and we just formed this partnership in January. Of this year, and it is now April 4th. And what's so interesting to me is we've, we've had a lot of, uh, personal success with one another. And this process tonight of us spending the time to really deeply reflect on how far we've come and what we've done in 90 short days has been really incredible.

and the thing that stands out to me the most in this whole process of the past 90 days, which has felt like a complete whirlwind, is that we have really allowed ourselves to vet our partnership. We've spent time with each other, significant time. Uh, we've brought our partners together several times to get to know each other.

Uh, we've embedded, um, them into our family and. Invited them in. Um, I have a really big extended family and we often have family parties and Renee and her partner have been invited to both, um, dinner with my, my family, my kids, along with my extended family, which there's about 18 of us, and it's a mad house, but it's a lot of fun.

And so this first 90 days, the thing I'm walking away with the most is that every. Test of our partnership. I feel like we have genuinely passed with flying colors, and that is probably the thing I am the most proud of, personally and professionally for myself because I am not operating or functioning in business with dysfunctional.

Or toxic patterns of behavior, and I am also working with a partner that is showing up to this partnership every day in a very emotionally mature way. With a whole lot of self-regulation, a whole lot of ability to, um, self soothe, right? Like all of the emotional inner work that needs to be done in order to be healthy.

And I think in schools in particular, there is a lot of trauma that continues to happen and a lot of people cannot operate in ways. Are conducive to, um, professionalism. And so to be able to build a soulful company, a boutique and unique lifestyle brand that creates soulful experiences. When I look back at the past 90 days, that is what Renee and I are doing with each other.

And what an awesome foundation as we go into quarter two with our goals. And so I'm gonna share. Some of the goals that we have created for ourselves today, um, as we sat together for hours, upon hours on end, um, working on this. And so here's, here's where, where we're setting our goals. We, we really only have three, th four.

We have four big goals, and they are to increase brand awareness. Um, that that will be done through, and I'm, I'm looking at my sheet as I'm, as I'm sharing. So thank you for bearing with me on this. Um, we've got specific measurements on. LinkedIn and Instagram. So currently TikTok sits at 122 followers.

Sole growth, LinkedIn. We're actually looking at the sole growth business page on LinkedIn has 138 and Instagram has 52. This is under Renee. So Renee is the lead on this. Um, we wanna increase followers across all three platforms by a thousand people at the end of the, um, 90 days. The way Renee is gonna do that is she is going to have, um, a TikTok Instagram and a LinkedIn post queued up every day for the next 90 days.

In addition, uh, build 10 connections. Meaningful people who are doing similar work digitally or in person. And so really also thinking about curating the connections. And then she's gonna record, uh, daily metrics across the three platforms. The topic, the views, the likes, the comments, the, the dms. Uh, I have a little baby part in there where I'm gonna keep working my Twitter 15 minutes every day commenting, tweet.

Our second goal is to launch a soul growth paid community, community platform with 50 women, uh, and the following components by May 7th. So I've got a lot of work to do, um, to get this done. This is my big rock, so I'm researching for community. With the pros and cons of the digital sites, and I need that short up by, um, uh, April 11th.

I wanna determine the platform. I've already got some ideas, but I really want to, to solidify some things. Uh, we're gonna have a soft launch on April 30th. Um, and this week also I've got market research to do. So we've, we've got a group of about 25 women who have met with us, who have been helping us along the way.

And so I've got some market research to do on the things they're looking for, pricing, what they'll pay for, what that might look like. Um, so that's the second big goal. And then the third big goal is to explore grant. and narrow down to one quality grant that we are gonna apply for by April 30th. And this really fe feeds into, um, what I'm thinking about with potentially working with a venture studio.

I mentioned this, I might have mentioned this a couple podcasts ago, but, um, I'm really intrigued by this partnership approach that Venture Studios take with pre-revenue, pre idea startup founders. Um, I think I have a really unique background and experience that is attractive to potential venture studios.

Um, coming from an education background where I have deep experiences running up people, processes, um, programming in large, comprehensive, bureaucratic, structured. Organizations, uh, in the education industry, highly regulated, right? And so I have these really, really rich experiences around what it takes internally to ensure that.

Students, staff, all stakeholders are communicated with that. Uh, communication flows. Operations flows. And so I think that, and um, I also have a doctorate in ed tech, which is so interesting because never in a million years did I think getting a doctorate in ed tech would lead to me leaving education and being in the tech startup space that.

Never on my radar when I got that degree. In fact, um, the reason I got it was because I had two master's degrees already. One in leadership and one in English literature, and I thought, I don't need another leadership degree. And I was a leader at that time. I was already a school administrator, I was running a school, so I thought, I don't need to do that.

Um, what am I interested in? I love to learn. I love using technology in my c. And so I, as I started to look at programs around me, I found this amazing research based institution, um, in one of our state universities in Illinois, that I was in this amazing doctoral program in education technology with people from all over the country.

and in all different professions, and it really opened my eyes. It nobody was in the startup space, interestingly. Um, well there were people, but it was like, in my head it was more foreign business. I didn't even understand startup at the time, frankly. Um, this was 20, you know, 20 10, 20 12. Um, and so, What that experience has brought to me was just this deep love of what technology can do when positioned correctly to genuinely change the world.

So all that to say, um,...

Today was a particularly difficult day. I woke up with a splitt. migraine, it felt like somebody had taken a knife and shoved it right into my left upper temporal lobe or right above my eye and it hurt so bad and I got up and about 6:37 AM took some medication and laid back. And I had been really just struggling through the weekend, uh, with some real low energy, especially Sunday, yesterday, where I was feeling a great sense of overwhelm.

I, and I had some things that I wanted to sit and work on, and nothing was coming to me. Nothing was clicking. Um, tasks that I had just weren't coming together, and I just let myself, um, kind of sit with these icky feelings, you know, did some extra meditation, did a cold, kind of a cold plunge, cold bath in hopes to get a little bit of relief or gain a little bit of clarity and insight.

And frankly, it didn't. and then when I woke up today with this massive migraine and I had some business meetings scheduled, I really paused myself and took an inventory of, of what was happening now in my physical body. After yesterday, my emotional body and my mental body seemed completely out of whack.

And so in my business meeting today with Renee, my business partner and I, I just got real honest and open with her and said to her, I'm really struggling today. I am not feeling great emotionally, mentally, physically. I think it's all, even these physical symptoms. My stomach was real upset. I was nauseous.

I said, these physical symptoms seem to me to be connected to these emotional and mental blocks I'm having, and we just kind of, we had another meeting with somebody who's helping us build out our soul growth Sunday. platform and aspects. Her name is Stacy as well, and we were supposed to have a, our meeting with her today, and I just said, I, I don't want that meeting.

I think we need to pause that. Um, her, Renee and I needed, we had some things that we needed to talk about and I just was not at a place. I, I just didn't have the typical energy that I'm used to.

I felt bad about it for a moment, and the, and the better, the better, the worse I was feeling about myself, um, the worse it was getting. . And so talking to Renee, talking to my husband, talking to Stacy, I called Stacy and I said, you know, we're we're we, Renee and I have a whole day strategy meeting tomorrow.

And I said, you know what? We will connect with you later this week. I'm just not feeling myself and I feel badly admitting that, and in the past though, I would've pushed. I would've showered, I would've put on my game face. I would've told myself, suck it up it. You're not here for you. You're here for others, and you just need to do it.

And I would've been really harsh to myself. And as I was talking to Stacy, I said, I don't know I've ever worked and prioritized my mental or emotional health in such a way like this. , maybe the first time I've been really open with my colleagues about how I was feeling, and Stacy actually turned and said to me, well, you're doing things differently and you're learning through.

You're actually doing your sole growth right now. What I. is how you are doing your soul growth journey right now. Everything you've just said to me is the soul growth journey and you're actually, you're not thinking about it because you're doing it. You're being it right now. And that really allowed me to even let go a little bit more.

It allowed me. See that this isn't Stacy Gonzalez. Every day down in the dumps, depressed, anxious, overwhelmed, sick to my stomach, whatever. This was one day, and as I thought back to my administrative career, that was every day I felt anxious, depressed, stressed out. I was taking all sorts of medications to try to manage and cope with and deal with and, and numb the stress, or at least get a little bit of relief with from it so I could function in my day to day.

And now, so in three months, I took one quote unquote mental health day for myself when I needed it. I'd say that's a really big win. And so, I'm really thankful for the opportunity to do things differently and to create the life and lifestyle that I want and desire as I'm building soul growth. Thanks for listening and being on this journey with me.

this week. I built my own inner confidence. I built Inner Resolve. I built stronger connections to my past and how they influence and impact my world every moment and even today in this moment. And so I'm just gonna juxtapose. The first conversation I had at Monday and who I was, and the last conversation I had just now, and who I was to demonstrate this inner growth.

So on Monday, I had a conversation with a woman from my OnDeck community, and I had this idea of doing some leadership workshops in there and all. , I was kind of visualizing this, but I had this nervous, anxious energy around talking to her and I was really psyching myself out about it and just kind of doing my inner work around how do I channel that energy in a, that, um, allows the right words to come out with her.

And I could tell after that call on Monday. that I was awkward and areas of insecurity were popping their head. But the beauty of it was I could see them and hear them on the call and notice them and recognize them and accept them and allow them to be what they, what they were, what they are. And at that time, I didn't need to do anything with those facts.

I didn't need to feel guilty or ashamed or. Uncertain. I just, I was able to get off the call and think, wow, I made a really not, I made a really big deal about this, but there was a lot of, um, thoughtfulness I wanted to put into this call. And what I saw in that call on Monday was kind of these aspects of me that were uncertain, unsure.

and go deep in myself throughout the rest of the week to, to wonder why that is and why I'm doubting and second guessing myself instead of showing up fully me. Then, um, I had, I'll, I'll, I'll mention a second, conversa a second thing. In between these two bookend conversations last night, um, a community that I have been a part of for over a year and a.

ended and these two co-founders who started this community were really authentic, genuine sales leaders from this Thursday night sales community, um, Scott and Amy. And when I first came into the community, I didn't know anything and I was a little bit cock. and the way the community is set up, there's hundreds of people on a zoom.

Everybody's muted and you can ask a question and come off mute. And so I was asking a question cause I was looking for a sales role, so I was asking a question, something about sales, and the gentleman, Scott, who's one of the community leaders he is.

a pretty, like, I guess I would describe him as a no nonsense type of a guy. He's definitely one of those guys who has graduated from the school of hard knocks and he has D put in the work to, um, crush. through limiting beliefs and other people's perspectives and come out like, this is who I am. You either like it or you don't.

I've got the, I've got the receipts to back up who I am, so f you if you don't wanna be on my train. Kind of a, kind of a personality, but with such a genuine heart. And so when I came in, I came in, um, asking a question, being very loud, being very, , um, maybe a little bit operating for my ego. And he really shut me down in that instance and kind of came back at me and snapped at me a little bit and was like, don't interrupt me.

Let me finish, or I'll put you back on mute. Said something kind of gruff. And last night as I was communicating and sharing all that, that both of them had meant to me and how much I've grown over the last year as a result of being in that community. , I was able to articulate beautifully in that space what I had learned and how thankful I was that he did come at me that way because it really caused me to look inside myself and find these areas where I was egotistical and I was coming in, um, with preconceived ideas of who people were and how things would be.

And I'm not like that. and that's a result of immersing myself in spaces and places and looking at everyone as my teacher, I can learn something from everyone that I encounter. And so my bookend, so I had this conversation just got off off of it about an hour ago with a woman who represents a venture studio and they really.

Our Purpose driven. Purpose Built, built, and they look for humans who have interesting backgrounds, experiences coupled with pre idea, um, revenue gener, tech, tech revenue generating, um, ideas to build, to build with, and. Got on that call, I knew who she was. Um, we had engaged via Twitter and I looked, I did all my research on who she was and what she had done and built.

She's built and scaled and sold five different companies, and I just knew who I was in that conversation and I was so confident and. on what to say, how much to share, when to stop talking, when to listen, when to interrupt, and ask questions. What things would be important, and it gave me a renewed energy and focus in two ways.

One, and that being me and being myself fully is the way to go and to grow and to trust that I have fully everything inside of. That I will know what to say, when to say it, how to say it, and in what spaces and places it will be respected, honored, and received. And knowing that deeply how I feel right now.

I did not feel that on Monday in my first conversation, and so my inner growth this week is palpable and I have the evidence inside to prove it, and I am so. to take what I've been building, what I've been learning over the entire course of my lifetime, and now start to see it come into reality, um, in new ways.

And so thank you for being on this build in public journey with me. It is something that I'm really excited and thankful, um, that I have this space to share.

[00:00:27] and he is one of the smartest men I know. Analytical, mathematical. When you think physics teacher and you have an image in your head, that is certainly who I am married to a hundred percent in some ways, shapes and informs. And what makes that so fascinating is that I started my career as an English. And so when you think English teacher, you probably have an image, [00:01:00] and if you've heard my podcast with me dressing as a tree in class, that certainly is true as well.

[00:01:06] The thing that we have in common is that we are both amazing teachers and we are both very, very deep thinkers, um, in different ways, but in important. that transfer into the hearts and minds of young adults. And so what is so beautiful about Tim Gonzalez's ability to dig in deep is he has depth of understanding that is a lot of it locked and stored inside of his brain.

[00:01:41] Obviously he teaches that every day to students. But in our world, what's been great is he's been on spring break this week. and not only do we have this, um, very intellectual relationship where we're always studying something, [00:02:00] and we also have our own very unique and different, um, spiritual, uh, interests.

[00:02:10] but very different. Where my spirituality at this point in my life is very much into the deep research around, um, Tibetan Buddhism and different types of spiritual connections surfacing for myself, um, especially through the use of my meditation practices. And Tim's is very much through a Christian lens, um, and, and through a biblical scholar lens.

[00:02:42] And so this week he has been studying deeply, uh, the book of Genesis and in particular deconstructing it and teaching himself Hebrew and studying it from a Hebrew perspective and going back into a bunch of. [00:03:00] Uh, Jewish Scholars works and Hebrew Scholars and taking notes. He's got notebooks and notes, notebooks of notes, and in fact, he's out in the living room right now watching a History Channel show on the universe.

[00:03:17] And then I come in and I pause him and I say, oh my gosh, you're never gonna believe what. My, um, I have a number seven 17 that has always been important to me. And Renee, my co-founder, has a number one 11. And so she sh shared me her TikTok and she had 111 followers and 17 717 views on her TikTok channel.

[00:03:48] And I, and I walked in and I'm like, oh my gosh, look what the universe is sending my way. And you may think. that these two diametrically opposing ideas [00:04:00] or philosophies may be so far apart that they could cause us to be disconnected. But actually what's the beauty of this is it's causing us to connect deeper, which is a really beautiful thing.

[00:04:13] And so as I am beginning to really embrace this build in public, I am watching. My soul journey, my soul growth journey, and his soul growth journey in very different ways begin to grow. On another note, I feel like in the past week, just this week, I really stretched myself. I had some difficult conversations that pushed me.

[00:04:44] I'm watching opportunities open up, and I've got some ideas for some workshops that I'm gonna be launching. I'm creating more content regularly. I'm taking this podcast, I'm putting into a chat, G p t, I'm turning [00:05:00] it into content. I'm creating content. Um, on Twitter. I made a Twitter thread. Yesterday I'm tweeting a lot more, so I'm really kind of immersing myself into that space and somebody who helps, um, pre idea, early idea, startup founders, um, with a, um, a company that's like a creative studio reached out to me and I'm having a meeting with her on Friday.

[00:05:30] So I just keep putting myself out there, creating this content, trusting the process. and allowing it to unfold. It's definitely a different lifestyle that I'm used to and I'm learning to really embrace it, provide the structure I need for myself and my day-to-day, but I'm growing. I can feel my confidence growing.

[00:05:59] I can [00:06:00] feel my clarity growing. I can feel my. Energy and focus, being able to, um, point me in the direction I need to be in flow state more often, more, um, continually for longer periods of time. And so for all of those reasons, I am so thankful for anyone who is along listening on this journey with me and little by little, this build and public.

[00:06:34] will continue to grow. Thanks for listening.

[00:00:48] I did not do a podcast update yesterday because my brain was so tired. That when I got home from taking the dog to a agility training, [00:01:00] I literally fell asleep at about eight 30. I didn't set an alarm and I slept until about 7:00 AM and the reason I was so tired was because I am stretching myself in such dynamic new ways that it is causing me.

[00:01:25] to tap into new energy sources, new ways of using my brain, um, and new, um, chemical reactions I feel like are kind of forming, um, in my body. And so I'm gonna talk a little bit today about, um, my. and when we actually start to build new [00:02:00] neural pathways, what it feels like and the amount of energy that takes.

[00:02:06] And I, I'm not coming at this from a scientific perspective or a research perspective. I am coming at this from the little bit that I understand about neural pathway. How they're formed, how they're made, and what happens when we start to apply pressure and change and discomfort to those new neural pathways.

[00:02:31] And we start to grow and change and notice the growth and change. And so last week I had a Monday morning meeting scheduled for yesterday, for Monday morning at eight 30 and last Friday and all through the weekend I. A great amount of time envisioning this meeting. Not so much the meeting in and of itself because I had a really, this really big [00:03:00] idea around the meeting, but, and, and the outcomes I was hoping for with this person, and I recognized that I have a great ability to make a.

[00:03:12] And execute on that plan and typically get the expected outcome that I want. I have a brain that understands planning, execution, and expected outcome, and in my past career as an educator, I could predict within a certain amount of accuracy the expected. , and that's a really good thing, but it's also a really dangerous thing for an entrepreneur because as an entrepreneur you cannot control people and outcomes.[00:04:00]

[00:04:00] And so as I am learning to create conversations and because really I believe the work is around conversations. The conversations provide insights to the plan that I have for building these businesses that I'm working on, the growth path in education and in schools, and sole growth with women and leaders and connecting to themselves.

[00:04:28] And so these two businesses, while I have plans, I have. . Um, every day I gain a little bit more clarity and insight and so a conversation like for example, I'm looking at my calendar right now, a conversation, a meeting I have scheduled on Friday. I'm gonna have new information and new insights for that meeting by the time we.[00:05:00]

[00:05:00] of course I have a plan for that meeting. Of course I have ways of being, but until I actually get on the call and see what it feels like and see who, um, I am and who this other person is on the call, somebody I haven't met before, I don't know where our areas of connection, synergy, creativity will occur.

[00:05:23] And not planning for that is new for. not anticipating 85 chest moves of what might happen is actually a new, creating new neural open neural pathways. For me, allowing a plan to unfold as and adjust that plan as I go is very new for me. Um, one of the things for me that has been really hard has been when I make a plan, And things don't go according to [00:06:00] the plan and having to adjust the plan or things aren't perfect, perfectionism thinking.

[00:06:06] And so yesterday I had this conversation planned scheduled and I kind of knew what I wanted from the conversation or what I had hoped for. And I really had to do this deep inner work on how do I show up to this conversation and. say what I'm thinking without trying to manipulate something to the, an outcome that I'm hoping for.

[00:06:36] And in the, in the call, I was kind of awkward and I was having a lot of anxiety before the call. I actually, in talking to my husband, Tim Gonzalez about this before I got on the. That morning I was having a lot of anxiety and I actually cried and I was just processing through because I could feel [00:07:00] at least what it felt like to me, my neural pathways changing, me embracing this new version of me in this, um, first conversation and then yesterday all day.

[00:07:17] my conversations opened up and I allowed them to continually open up before me, but it took a lot of energy for me, and so I'm learning how to structure my day, my time, my energy, so that it serves me and it serves me and the areas that I wanna focus. I don't have it perfected yet. It will never be perfect, frankly, but I am closer to my every day being the ideal day that I believe I deserve, [00:08:00] that I believe will serve me and allow me to best serve others.

[00:08:07] And it's a work in progress and friends. That is what I am truly building in public. Thanks for listening, and this is Stacy Gonzalez on today's Build in Public podcast.

[00:00:06] and this idea is stretching me and causing me to think differently about who I am, how I'm showing up in the world, and what I want to create and do.

[00:00:29] What I realized about this exciting idea that I have is I get caught up in the 85 different moves and chess pieces that could possibly happen if I began to go down this road and when I worked in education for 20. , that was the way you had to operate. [00:01:00] You had to operate with such a level of precision and accuracy, and it makes sense because there's thousands of kids, thousands of parents.

[00:01:12] There are lots of people who need lots of structure and clarity around what to do, when to do it, how to. , um, where to go, how to be right. And it just, that structure is so important to manage and navigate the complexity of those, the, the sheer amount of human beings and spaces and places together. Right.

[00:01:40] That makes sense. But when I got into the business space, I'm like, that is not how this works. People are virtual. People move and create and make choices when they are inspired and connected and [00:02:00] connected in with who they are and who they believe they can be by partnering with you. And in my first career, I had to convince people and show people and demonstrate to people why being innovative would work because they were already partnered with.

[00:02:21] I was the boss. I had the authority, but I also had the vision and the hope for them to see greater versions of themselves. Cause any project I ever did, whether it was kids or with adults, it was never about me. I knew. That I could get the thing to happen. Whatever X thing is, whatever project, whatever um, thing we were creating, we it would, it would get done.

[00:02:54] You're in a system that's set up to get things done at the end of the day, but [00:03:00] I wanted to get it done in a way that manifested change in insights in the heart of every person that encountered whatever it was that we were building, whether it was a virtual career day, whether it was a redesign of a library, whatever it.

[00:03:15] and I always knew that the insider secret was about the hearts of people. And so helping people see a version of themselves that they desire to be is really what it has been and is about.

[00:03:39] And so as I. take steps on this build and public journey. This idea came to me and I started to cultivate this idea, and it has to do with community and community building. And so [00:04:00] last night as I was thinking about it, I started to go into like 85 different chest moves of my vision and how to make this.

[00:04:09] And then I have a really great friend named KP, who I called this morning and I said, can you listen to me talk through this idea I have? And she said, absolutely. And as I was sharing and talking, it all logically made sense. She could follow. It seemed like a potential win, but the thing about it is, It starts with one conversation, one critical conversation that I have scheduled on Monday and this conversation I cannot anticipate the outcome of, but I, I can prepare for the conversation and that's step one.

[00:04:56] And I've got some ideas of what steps 2, [00:05:00] 3, 4, 5, 6 may. . But until I show up to that conversation, I won't even know if there's synergy. I've been using that word a lot too. Synergy, right? My energy plus your energy. Do they match? Is it a good use of our time and energy to come together and design and build something?

[00:05:28] Because my mentor, John Max, Told me there's three prices that people pay in business. They pay with their time, they pay with their energy or capacity, and they pay with their money. And by the time you've talked about the first two, the third one is easy. And I'm like, yes, yes. That I, I see that now I get that.

[00:05:57] So in this conversation that I'm gonna have on [00:06:00] Monday, . I'm really looking forward to sharing what I've noticed in this community over the past eight weeks, what I believe is possible, but I'm also interested in hearing about what the hope is and what they want more of in this community, and if I can be a accelerant or an activator to that with the idea.

[00:06:29] Which I think is pretty good, but if they're not ready for it, here's what I've also learned. If they're not ready for it or if it's not in alignment and I try to force something, it's no good. It's no go and it's not good for anybody. And then all it becomes is hard work that is grueling and not energy filled and energy fueled, and I'm not interested in doing that kind of work.

[00:06:54] So as I head into. The weekend. [00:07:00] I thank you for listening. I thank you for being on this Soul Growth inner work journey with me as I learn every day how to be more aligned with who I am so I can be better for everyone else. Thank you.

[00:00:53] I started today knowing that there were some things off kilter [00:01:00] and my business partner and. Had a conflict two days ago that really rattled me that really rattled me.

[00:01:15] And the reason it rattled me is because it quickly started to trigger inside of me a old past pattern. And hostile aggressive reaction, and I noticed it pretty quickly and in our call, attempted to

[00:01:49] understand and validate her perspective, but the manner in which she was talking to. Really [00:02:00] was triggering me to the point where I couldn't respond in a way that felt calm, confident, peaceful, or aligned. And so we got off the call.

[00:02:22] I knew that there was more that I needed to process as a result,

[00:02:30] and so today

[00:02:35] I woke up feeling very uncertain, very bad about this conflict. And yesterday was a busy day, so we didn't have a chance to really sit down and chat and talk through what had happened. And I also felt like I need some time to process. She [00:03:00] needs some time to process, but in my world, this feeling of this conflict was, would be in the way of any sort of conversation.

[00:03:12] Zoom, face-to-face. Even written work. And I had a whole day open today without any meetings, and so I just determined that I was gonna allow myself to go deep and go into my soul growth journey. And the way I started it was at about nine. I knew I wanted to take a cold bath, a um, plunge, if you will, but the way I do my cold bath is I [00:04:00] let the water, the cold water fill the tub as opposed to getting into a cold plunge.

[00:04:08] And the reason. I do cold showers, cold plunges is because it's a reminder for me that I can persist through discomfort. That discomfort does not hurt me, cannot kill me, cannot control me. And in today's Cold Bath this morning,

[00:04:40] Just focused on being grounded. And I kept saying to myself, just stay open. Don't close down. Don't have opinions about this. Don't tell any stories to yourself about what you're feeling. You don't need to do anything, but just [00:05:00] experience this moment and you're okay. And so that's how I started. and then I put on, um, a meditation soundtrack with, which was music.

[00:05:18] And I put this light up on my ceiling and I laid in bed and was in a somewhat meditative, somewhat open space, and I could feel. at different moments, emotions and pain and feelings struggling through my body. And the thing that I did was I told myself, just stay open. Don't close. Don't close. Relax and release.

[00:05:56] Let it go. Let it flow. It will flow through you. [00:06:00] You're okay. And. Then this creative energy came in where I started to create content both publicly on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, and behind the scenes in Slack communities, email, texts, and dms. And the difference with this communi. Compared to before my bath meditation was that I was going in a layer deeper, more vulnerable, more open, more um, authentic.

[00:06:50] And the words flowed pretty well and beautifully in some cases. And what it reminded me [00:07:00] was that I can. Myself showing up digitally in 2D because for the majority of my first career, all of my first career, I spent that in spaces and places in 3D and physical spaces with people and. , different energy exists when you are in cafeterias with hundreds of kids every day and in buildings with people and walking in and out of meetings versus the safety and comfort of your home.

[00:07:33] And so there's a new level of vulnerability and awareness that I am exhibiting and testing. Quote unquote testing out in the virtual space and have I found the spaces and places where I feel safe enough to be in community with others, but to be [00:08:00] fully me showing up. And so that is where this build and public journey is beginning for me today.

[00:08:13] And I. That my willingness to sit with discomfort and allow myself to process through difficult conversations and communicate in new and healthy ways with healthier boundaries will help other people in their business and personal endeavors, and that's why I'm building in. The soul growth journey. Thank you for listening today.

[00:00:30] When I was a new teacher, I had so much enthusiasm and I was so open, and I had such a vision and purpose and mission because I knew I was there to inspire kids, to see themselves and to take risk. and to connect with literature so they could [00:01:00] connect with themselves. So I was teaching this short story called The Most Dangerous Game, and I dressed up like a tree.

[00:01:07] Literally. I got camo. I asked the science teacher who was a hunter, I could borrow some camo. I dressed up in his camo gear. I got leaves from like a fake plant and like put it all in my. I put like green, like green under my eyes, you know, kind of like, um, army paint on my face camouflage. And when the kids walked into my classroom, I was standing outside the door dressed as a tree and I.

[00:01:44] vaguely. Remember my mentor who at the time like made this big deal out of it, like Stacy doesn't care. She comes in like a tree. She just like, and she like loved it. And I'm sure other teachers were like, what? Who is this woman? Like what is [00:02:00] she doing? And I don't know, it just like it felt so, right. It felt like, of course this is how you get kids to connect.

[00:02:08] Like this is what we do, this is how we. , it, never occurred to me to feel self-conscious or to question the fact that I would walk into school. Trust is a tree, and those are some of my earliest career memories in my first career where I just, I was a great teacher and kids connected with themselves in deeper ways because of how I showed up in the c.

[00:02:39] And so today I was on a mastermind group call and the icebreaker was, if you were a tree, what tree would you be and why? And I hadn't even thought about that story, which I actually wish I would've cuz I would've shared it. It would've been a great story. But as I [00:03:00] was preparing for tonight's build in public podcast,

[00:03:08] I started thinking about how I talked about being a tree today and this vision I have of myself as a tree and my roots being deeply planted and my leaves stretching and glistening up towards the sun and bending and being open and receiving. and I feel the most calm, confident, and strong inside that I have felt in a long time, that I have felt like when I was back in the day and that new teacher showing up as a tree.

[00:03:57] Right? [00:04:00] And if you look at the. Of what's happening in my life right now relative to financial security and success. It's pretty dismal, and by most accounts and purposes and, and right from other's perspectives, I'm. , it's, it would be reason for freaking out. Actually, the old me would be freaking out, right?

[00:04:38] The corporate past me when I had a ton of money and had no inner peace, no ability to even see or remember the tree. And so there's a part of me, especially when it comes to. What I'm noticing, like the [00:05:00] fact that I'm, I am pursuing this with everything I have, but it is causing pressure and stress on those I love and it's impacting my family and they're sacrificing for me and, and I am standing tall and steady like the.

[00:05:25] and trusting my roots are deep and trusting that my, my leaves and my branches remain open to receive. And so I don't know what will happen. I don't get to have the insight to know what's gonna happen in the. , but I know that this is a testing moment for me, and this is a defining [00:06:00] podcast because right now, externally things look really dismal.

[00:06:09] But from where I am sitting inside, things are so beautiful and I can see it. And so that is the place. Where I'm sitting right now in my tall oak tree. Calm, confident, beautiful space. Thank you for listening and being with me on this building public journey.

[00:00:49] And I think that's the thing for me that has really stuck out for me as a former educator and somebody who has [00:01:00] spent an entire career, uh, building around cognitive abilities and intellect and understanding and knowing things deeply, which I think is really important. , and that's certainly a learning journey, but that's all focused on what our minds can do from a very cognitive standpoint.

[00:01:33] And what I'm really interested in now is how do our souls grow and evolve and what does it mean for people? , they have a intuition or a sense that comes from outside the mind that really is pivotal in their lives, [00:02:00] and then the journey that they take as a result of that. And so I had an opportunity today with somebody that I talked to to.

[00:02:16] what I believe was the beginning point of my soul growth journey. And so over the next couple of days, I'm gonna share some of the moments, but especially that core first moment of when I knew that I was on.

[00:02:44] spiritual journey or a more existential journey versus a reading, writing, math, spelling, learning, cognitive journey. And I'm really excited [00:03:00] about this platform and this opportunity to not only explore my soul growth journey, but the journey of others. and I know that this will continue to evolve as I continue to move forward on this journey.

[00:03:21] So stick with me. We're gonna get some structure in place as I've had some time to play around in this podcast playground. And, uh, looking forward to seeing where we take this thing.

[00:00:12] I feel like at this point, after eight episodes, that I should have greater clarity.

[00:00:26] the direction I should go with this podcast, and instead today I feel less clarity, less enthusiasm, more confusion, and more overwhelm than I've had in some time. Not just about the podcast, but about all of it. I woke up today really tired, [00:01:00] very low energy, and I'm still working really hard on my ideal day because I have this vision that if I put the right parts and pieces together for my ideal, Every day will be ideal, and ultimately that will lead to an ideal life.

[00:01:32] And so today it's a Monday, and every Monday my business partner and I have a Monday meeting, and so we have three. Parts of the business that were standing up and today we spent the majority of our time on Soul Growth, [00:02:00] which is a audience building business play. At this point, our strategy is to build an audience, and when you first start building a brand and an audience,

[00:02:19] It's a lot of work and it's getting that clarity on the direction to head, and so we landed on a Sunday series called Soul Growth Sundays, which will be a workshop type event every Sunday. and we're gonna launch this starting in three weeks from now in in mid-April. And there's so much to do [00:03:00] around it and it's a little overwhelming.

[00:03:02] And I was already really tired today and had meetings back to back all day. And so as I'm reflecting. today's progress. I'm not feeling great about things. Um, I'm not feeling very productive and because we don't have a system in place yet around contact creation and the types of content that we wanna create, because we don't know who.

[00:03:43] Our audience is yet exactly. It's been just feeling a little overwhelming today, and so

[00:03:59] I'm [00:04:00] just being kind and gracious to myself and allowing myself to be real with this today. And. trusting that as we gain more clarity on what exactly we do, who we serve, how we serve that audience, um, I have to remember, we just, we just started this and it's okay that we don't have it all figured out in.

[00:04:38] Six weeks, right? Uh, so today's a day where I'm recording this podcast in my dark living room. I was cranky to my husband tonight. My daughter went back to college in Texas, and I am [00:05:00] doing the best I can today and this moment of me sharing. The non enthusiastic version of myself, I suppose, is the best that I've got for today.

[00:05:16] And so that is what I'm sharing and trusting that not every day will feel this hard and this messy, and even if they do, it's okay. And so that's the best I have for today.

[00:01:08] And so yesterday I had a meeting that I prepared for with a superintendent because one of the parts of soul growth is we have. Company that we're standing up or service product called the Growth Path. And the growth path is for superintendents and their leadership teams. And it's a training and coaching model where we provide an assessment relative to emotional intelligence, uh, mindfulness communication, uh, conflict resolution.

[00:01:50] For individuals on the superintendent's cabinet team. And then as a result of that assessment, we find where [00:02:00] the strengths and areas of growth are for the team and for the individuals. We present that back to the superintendent and come up with a plan. And as you may or may not know, I had a sales role.

[00:02:18] Last year that I got fired from for not being successful in that role. And I can see now why, um, first of all, John, who is the creator of the growth path, uh, with all the content, who's also a mentor of mine, has been taking me through what I'm learning sales to be, which really is a dance. And up until this point, , I have been dancing like the clunkiest, most out of step dancer, stepping on people's toes, stepping, tripping over my own [00:03:00] toes.

[00:03:01] And so yesterday we met with the superintendent and had this really beautiful conversation. and dialogue. And I really, you know, my, my role in that, um, as a former school district administrator was really as the door opener. And what was also interesting was I felt a little bit like I had been given a backstage pass, had been given access to these two men.

[00:03:37] Um, And what I noticed in the way that they engaged with each other in discussion was really genuine and authentic. Yet they each knew that there was a business purpose in mind and[00:04:00]

[00:04:00] there was so much. that happened in that meeting. But here's the thing, that was really fun. So today on our debrief call, uh, with Renee, cuz there's three of us, me, John and Renee are, are doing the growth path. And today on our debrief call, um, with Renee, John said, I said, oh, that meeting went so good. I feel really good about this.

[00:04:21] Like, we're gonna get this account, I'm hoping right? Get this, the business. and I said, um, in my old job, they would tell us to predict the percentage of close, um, for our pipeline, right? And so, so I said, okay, I, I think I know what percentage of certainty with which I feel like this, this would, will get this, their business.

[00:04:50] And so John said, okay, , think of your number. , I'll think of mine and we'll say it at the exact same time. Okay, you ready? And I'm like, oh yeah, I got my number, I got my number right. [00:05:00] And so Nays listening, um, and John's like 1, 2, 3, go. And I say 70%. And he says, 20% . And, and I just start cracking up and uh, he says, Well, tell me why you picked 70%.

[00:05:24] And I said, well, he was very open to what we talked about. He seemed, um, like, you know, really excited about what we were doing, and he could see maybe some of the benefits of it. John said, well, He hasn't talked to his board and he hasn't even talked to the leadership team, nor did he really, um, commend anything to us.

[00:05:56] So we've still got a lot of work to do. [00:06:00] And he was like, oh, right. And so while it was a great conversation, the sales process is about moving those conversations forward. , getting to know each other, making sure that we are in alignment and that that the hope that we have and the hope that he has can really be delivered.

[00:06:30] And so that's a process that takes time. And so today, um, I worked on identifying five superintendents that I know that. we're going to, um, get meetings with and talk with. And the really interesting thing is, and what I'm so [00:07:00] thankful for is what an amazing mentor John has been in my life. I was telling Renee this morning how.

[00:07:12] He is this like grandfatherly wise grandfatherly figure in my life that has had this successful business and has this business acumen that I've not really had anyone in my life that is ha, that has had that or been or shown me. And so yesterday, sitting physically. in a meeting with John as the captain and me as like the first mate, right?

[00:07:49] Really allowed me an opportunity to experience the sales process, not talk [00:08:00] about the sales process in a cognitive way, but to experience. , and that's really the work that we wanna do with the growth path and with soul growth. This work is not about thinking, it's about being, it's about living and creating containers where people can experience new ways of being in safe spaces.

[00:08:34] and it's creating containers of safety where people can be vulnerable and seen and they can see themselves in ways that maybe they haven't looked at themselves before. And so while today was what I feel a little bit of a lower energy day, I [00:09:00] slept, um, overslept, not overslept, but I let myself sleep because I was up at three 15 the prior day and, and didn't go to bed.

[00:09:09] And so I let myself sleep, uh, sleep in. Um, I missed my morning meditation practice, my journaling. So today just was off on a number of, of things for me. And, um, I'm allowing that to be what it is and trusting that, um, tomorrow will be better as I move forward. I.

[00:00:41] And so last week was my first executive coaching session, and one of the things that I've worked with a coach for a very long time, not a very long time, about two years on my own, with my own coach that I've hired. And then, um, when I was [00:01:00] working as a school district administrator, I always believed in the power of having a coach, and so I, um, have hired coaches throughout my, my career.

[00:01:13] And one of the things that I've learned over the years of working with a coach and why I think having a coach is so valuable is that you get out of your coach what you put into it. . And so, um, I have six coaching exce sessions available with an executive coach who works specifically in the space of tech startups and good coaches.

[00:01:44] Um, I'm, I'm a trained coach as well, um, through a solution focus training. And what I've learned is that good coaches, um, aren't there to do the work for you at, at all, right? They are there to support [00:02:00] you in your work. And the way I describe it is like this. Here's a metaphor, if you will, of how I think about the coaching process.

[00:02:11] Wake up in the morning and I'm standing on the edge of a cliff every day.

[00:02:21] and I know in order to show up to my life fully, my quest is to step off the cliff, to trust myself, trust that I have everything I need inside of me to be successful. In a free fall, if you. and there's this saying, um, it's a Buddhist saying that, my coach actually sent to me that, and I don't remember who the author is, but it goes like [00:03:00] this.

[00:03:00] The bad news is you're in a free fall without a parachute. The good news is, is there is no ground.

[00:03:13] and so I've extended that a little bit to What does it mean when you have a coach? Well, when you have a coach, you're free falling, but you have somebody in the free fall with you to hold your hand for a moment or two and to help you see. and take in the beauty as opposed to that, um, wind in your face and that level of panic, right?

[00:03:42] But somebody to hold your hand and say, oh, look over there. Look at the mountains over there. Oh, look over there and see what's, what's shiny and fun and exciting over there. Right? And so I had my first session with my coach. Last week and in [00:04:00] preparation for that session, which kind of gave me the idea of why I write for, um, my podcast episodes now, is because I wanted to be super, super prepared.

[00:04:14] It was a 45 minute meeting. I wanted to get the most out of that meeting, um, for myself, right? The point of working with a coach is that you determine the value that you want out of it, and it's really what you put in. You get out.And so I wrote this letter and when we got in the call, um, , you know, we said, hello, whatever.

[00:04:40] And she said, I can tell you about me, but not everybody needs that. You know, whatever it is you need. I said, well, I wrote something to you and I'd like to read it to you because this is what I want to grow in. So may I read it to you? And she said, sure. [00:05:00] And so, for today's podcasting, I'm gonna read to you what I wrote to my coach.

[00:05:10] I am meeting with Heather today. I have done a lot of work over the past two years, unraveling my identity, reducing unconscious reactions, which have reduced unwanted outcomes. I've learned more deeply who I am, what I can be, who I can be, what I can control, and what I can. I've removed toxic people from my life, experienced much inner healing from childhood trauma, and I'm finding the people in spaces who embrace me.

[00:05:49] I've made great strides in understanding how to care for myself, be emotionally resilient and self-regulated. I've worked on my soul in a deep and meaningful way [00:06:00] through sound baths, meditation, breath work, journaling, connecting to nature. Training a dog, even reading books and immersing myself into numerous communities, among other things to understand in a deeper way who I am, how my unique gifts and talents can be leveraged to make the world a better place.

[00:06:24] As a sexual abuse survivor, I've overcome a broken marriage and found complete restoration like when we were 19. My husband and I are more in love now and connected better than ever because I have learned to respect myself and my body. I am trusting myself in deeper ways. I feel my intuition beginning to wake up and my eyes are opening.

[00:06:49] In December, I met Renee. We have become business partners and friends. This new relationship is a true gift to me because through our interactions it is [00:07:00] showing me who I am. Renee has strong boundaries and has been on her own soul growth journey and doing her own inner work. Last week we had a successful in-person launch of soul growth.

[00:07:12] Our company, the areas I'd like to focus our sessions on is creating a money mindset of abundance versus lack, shortage, scarcity, et cetera. I've been examining my limiting beliefs around money and the patterns of behavior. They have been unconsciously looping. Here are some of the limiting beliefs. If you work really hard, you'll make more money.

[00:07:41] You must prove your value by your hard work and actions. Saving and investing are the only ways to abundance. If you want need more money, you must work harder, longer, smarter than. Having and owning nice things is okay, but never be flashy or a big shot. Never [00:08:00] talk about money. It's inappropriate. Always live below your means and you'll be okay.

[00:08:06] People are more important than things, so if you have great relationships, you should be happy with that. It's enough Making or having a lot of money will cause you to be greedy and stingy. You don't know the details of others who became millionaires. Extremely wealthy, so it can't happen for you. You're too old to build a wealth legacy for your family and company in the manifestation of these limiting money.

[00:08:34] Beliefs in my life look like this. Some of them always looking for a deal, a sale or discount when I'm making a purchase. Never wanting to pay full price because I'm worried I'm being taken advantage of. Feeling triggered and guilty. Anytime my kids ask for something where I have one who asks for something all the time and one [00:09:00] child who never asks for anything,

[00:09:05] I'm not sure what other surface patterns are in motion, but I am certain that is time for change and I need help moving from a lack and scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset. Well, this shift feels a bit more challenging than other obstacles I faced. I think the reason is I'm fully aware and ready and open to see this change manifest with the other limiting beliefs I've overcome.

[00:09:31] I was also working on building my emotional resiliency, self-regulation, clear mind, et cetera. Today I feel I have some foundational pieces in. I have a meditation practice, journaling and ability to operate from a place of much greater clarity and higher vibrational energy. Because of that, I believe I am open and ready to transform in this area, create new and open new neural pathways, and [00:10:00] experience new ways of being so I can provide for myself and my family, as well as create a company where others are better and able to also experience the inner transformation power like I have.

[00:10:11] So I'm open and ready to meet this challenge head on, a...

[00:00:46] My update so that there is some succinctness, I dunno if succinctness is a word, but some succinctness a point to where we're headed, where we're going. So hopefully, [00:01:00] hopefully, um, episode number five takes us a little bit deeper and into the next level. So, first things first, I need to get my cheaters on.

[00:01:15] Because I'm 48, and so I need to be able to see the words on the page. All right, here we go. You ready? I'm beginning to move through deeper portals into becoming more fully who I desire to be. Three years ago, I was walking on the beach. It was New Year's day 2020. We were on a family vacation, and my husband and I went to take a walk on the beach during the day.

[00:01:46] I was still working at the time as a school district administrator. I didn't know how miserable I had become. On our walk, I asked my husband if he had a word of the year. [00:02:00] I asked him because I wanted to share mine. Frankly, I didn't really care about his. He said he was not sure. But I, I was certain. I had my word and the intention behind it.

[00:02:17] Clarity, and with that word came a whisper: "live from spirit first." At the time I didn't even really notice the whisper, but I sense. I wasn't sure even what it meant because I had not known anyone who had "lived from Spirit first." I'm honestly not even sure I even knew what that meant, nor I would say I fully even know now, although I'm getting clearer every day as I focus on my spiritual practice.

[00:02:58] Soon after the [00:03:00] vacation ended, I came home and I wrote on my whiteboard 18 months and began to make plans to leave my job and launch out on my own and start my own business. Little did I know before starting any business, my inner world would come crashing down all around me. It's an interesting thing, this living from spirit first. Many times,

[00:03:28] what I'm finding now is a new intention arises in our soul, a knowing, a longing, a deep sense that it's time. In the past, I met these types of subtle insights with enthusiasm and excitement because new challenges and insights, of course, bring new opportunities. What I failed to realize then is that this live from spirit first, [00:04:00] this clarity actually means dig deeper, go darker, address old patterns of behavior that no longer serve a new way of being, and this

[00:04:18] began the digging.

[00:04:22] And the way I explain this is kind of like anyone who spent any time in therapy,

[00:04:29] in fact, many therapists will even say as well, when working with clients that at the beginning of the therapeutic process is really the easiest. It's like going to the gym. When you first start, you begin to see and feel how hard it is and how many times it gets worse before it gets better. Because a great therapist knows before you can help a [00:05:00] client rebuild their life the way they desire.

[00:05:04] There's a lot of mess to clean up and unless the client is ready to do the dirty work, there will be little to no progress. And so in January of 2020, I stepped through a new portal of self-discovery. I began to open up my heart and mind to examine new ways of being, and this is the journey I've been on. My desire is to use this space, this build in public podcast as a playground to document my journey each day, sensing using it as a stepping stone into greater understandings and new ways of being.

[00:05:50] To understand who I am, moments to illuminate memories to enhance a building space, a safe [00:06:00] space. Where I trust myself to show myself and you, dear listener, where I've been, where we've been, and where we can go together full well knowing the journey will unfold before our very eyes.

[00:00:33] So I'm just gonna tell the story to the best of my ability of what happened today.

[00:00:48] Renee and I had a meeting with this woman named Laura Hollow. who owns a shop in [00:01:00] downtown Chicago, in the city called Soul Chicago. And the way we met her was in a divine alignment.

[00:01:15] And so, um, how it happened was one day, about a month ago, , Renee was wearing her sole growth hat. Cause we have swag like the sweatshirt I'm wearing, and she went into this restaurant. Bar in the city and met this man who said, soul growth. What's that? I've never heard of that. And she said, of course you haven't.

[00:01:40] It's a new company that I'm building and it's to empower women and create safe spaces where they can connect and heal and be seen and heard and understood and supported and cared for and loved and be vulnerable. Help him. And he said, [00:02:00] oh, well, do you know my daughter? Holloway and she said no. She said, well, he said, well, you need to meet her.

[00:02:08] She owns a place called Soul Chicago. It's a protein, a little like a protein bar, juice bar, protein bar, um, and next to this health club in the city. And so Renee connects with her on. Instagram and they end up meeting, Renee goes down to this place called Soul Chicago. While she's there, all these other people walk into this space and they just make these instant connections.

[00:02:42] And Renee says, I'd love for you to meet my business partner. And so I went and met Laura at Soul Chicago about two weeks ago and we wanted to make another appointment for her to like help us workshop out. She has multiple successful [00:03:00] businesses, um, and runs various events in the transformation empowerment space.

[00:03:13] And so Chicago, while it's a. Physical location is about creating space for people to connect and get to know each other and kind of build this soul space, right? She calls it her soul family. And so today while we were there, these two women walked in, one of which was her former roommate three years ago when the pandemic hit.

[00:03:51] And this woman was, um, there with her, her friend. So this woman that used to live with Laura [00:04:00]Holloway, named Adriana, this other woman named Nicole, who lived, um, who was her best friend. . And so when they walked in the door, Laura knew who they were. She got up, hugged them, and they were like, oh, hey. And like we just strike, struck, striked up a conversation, started to begin a conversation with them, with Renee and I, cuz Laura was busy, like helping customers and getting smoothies.

[00:04:26] And as we were connecting really genuinely and authentically with these two women, all of these signs for me that I was right where I needed to be kept popping up for me. Such as, I would say something flippantly, for example, um, I was making some reference about being a school administrator and like people don't understand [00:05:00] how taxing and challenging it is running schools and district

[00:05:04] and the safety and security of all students and the level of, um, difficulty with social media. And you're just hoping, and I make a comment and I say, and you're just hoping CBS news doesn't show up and the front of your building. That's the level of crisis every day. And the one woman, Adriana looks at me and she's like, I'm a news anchor for CBS news.

[00:05:30] I'm like, of course you are. And so I've had this knowing inside of me that my calling is stepping into me.

[00:05:51] And I've been afraid of that because the level of courage. [00:06:00] that it's taking me to speak from a place of truth when it comes to other people

[00:06:15] has been an area that I have struggled with because in the past I feel like I have this gift. Of insight and intuition and a deep sense of spiritual connection with most, if not all people,

[00:06:40] but I've given away the gift or not been not treated, the gift I have to connect and speak truth, life, love into others' lives. in ways in which they can hear it and receive it, and I've wasted it maybe, or I've, there's, [00:07:00] I think there's, um, a saying around like, um, a ring and a pig snout or, um, like, don't put your, like, uh, there's some sort of a reference.

[00:07:14] I can't, like, I don't have the image of it, but like giving, you have this beautiful gift and you're giving it to somebody who just, they don't need it. They can't see it. It's not the time for them. And so I spent, I think the first 48 years of my life with these gifts I have for people that they weren't ready for.

[00:07:35] And I didn't know who was ready or who's not. Like I just didn't have that sense of intuition or, or Right. And so what started happening today in this five hour conversation with these, with Renee and I and these three other women? Was that we had this magical space and place where I [00:08:00] was being challenged inside to share deep things that I'm like, I don't know if these women can receive this.

[00:08:08] I don't know if they're ready to hear this. I don't know how to say this to them. And, and it wasn't about what I was saying. It was about this sense and this sense in my heart and my heart pounding and being like, no, Stacey, it's safe, and you can share that and you can tell them whatever it was through a couple of different things through the conversation and I was saying to them like, I, I feel like I have something to share, but I'm a little nervous or whatever.

[00:08:36] And Laura said to me, well, one way that you. work on that is by saying, may I share something with you or would it be right? Would it be all right if I share how I'm feeling, or you know, would you like to hear? She's like, if you're not invited, cause I, I've just been waiting for people to ask me versus me asking if I can share with them.

[00:08:59] [00:09:00] And it just lifted this space for me where I thought, okay, I can do that. I can, you know, then it's on them. They can say no. They can say yes, and then it is all I need to do after I have this, this, this feeling, this sense on the inside that there's something here for them. All I need to do is offer it.

[00:09:25] Ask, ask permission. Do they want this? And then if they say no, then I move on. And if they say yes, then I, then I let go and let it flow. because I know it is coming from such a pure place of genuine wanting to give them a gift. And there's a scripture that says, your gifts make room for you and put you before great men.

[00:09:53] And I can even see just from this conversation today [00:10:00] how not only is this

[00:10:05] encouraging my own sense of being a great human, but seeing how other people are being drawn to me, these great, amazing people who really see me and want to support, validate, help, whatever. So it was just a real outside of like, Like the thing I said at the beginning, like the CBS News, there were just a bunch of little things like that that nobody but me and the person who's saying it would know, like my inner world of how crazy ironic that is, that you're saying this thing and I just have these tangible outcomes of something that you're, you're talking about.

[00:10:48] And so I feel like it was a breakthrough day and. The open, the channel is open. The uh, I'm ready. I'm stepping [00:11:00] into it. I'm open to it, and so I think that's all I need to share for today.

[00:00:08] Okay, here we go. So my hi for today. Um, my hi is I attended this amazing podcast event and actually Jethro, who is the producer of the show, was there as well, and it was for contact creators. But the thing that really stuck out to me about that was how having a podcast is really, um, about clarifying who you.

[00:00:40] Clarifying who you are. Um, and then even like this, right? Consistently showing up allows a podcast to become more than a podcast. It becomes a marketing tool, a lead generation machine, a, um, opportunity to really craft any sort of outreach or sales, [00:01:00] sales, um, pitch. I don't want the word pitch, but like sales kind of outreach, networking that you're doing.

[00:01:05] And so there was just some really good. In there, um, in particular how to think about, um, using podcasts as a creator to build your brand awareness by going onto other people's podcasts, um, along with building your own. And so I think that that kind of just illuminated for me. Um, and then the way to reach out, to get onto people's podcasts that you admire and respect.

[00:01:31] I went over a bunch of tools, um, around that, and I just thought, , you know, it was really helpful and gave me ideas. Nothing that I really am ready to necessarily implement yet, but certainly that kind of, I tucked away in the back of my mind. My low today is I, um, I woke up, I, I slept in a little bit, woke up at six, and I just had this heavy.

[00:01:54] Feeling in my chest during, during my morning meditation this morning, um, I could feel [00:02:00] like this, this pressure kind of in my, in my chest. Um, and then I felt it a few times today, once when I was talking to my son. at dinner, and I don't, I don't like, I don't know where it's, why or where it's coming from, and I just kind of noticed it, and, and nothing was wrong.

[00:02:17] I felt like everything was emotionally energy good today. So, um, just, just notice, notice that I hope I have, uh, tomorrow. Just really cool, Renee. Um, my co-founder and I are meeting with a woman named Laura Hollow. Laura Holloway, um, is a female entrepreneur who so cool. Um, Renee met because she was wearing our soul growth, um, swag hat, and she was downtown.

[00:02:48] We live in Chicago and she was down in the city. and some guy said her soul growth, I don't know what that is. And she's like, well, or I've never heard of it. And she's like, of course not. It's a brand new company that we're starting and he is like, tell me about it. She shared [00:03:00] a little bit, right? We're here to, um, support and empower women, create experiences and safe spaces for them to, um, dig into their authentic.

[00:03:10] Um, and reconnect with themselves. And so, um, he said, oh, it sounds like something that my daughter has done. You should connect with her. Her name is Laura Halloway and she has a place called Soul Chicago of course. And so we've met with her once already. She has about eight nonprofit wellness centers on the West coast in LA and around there, um, she opened up a juice bar in Chicago, which is where we're actually meeting her at her juice bar tomorrow.

[00:03:37] And then, um, she, um, does event retreats. Um, but, you know, very niche boutique retreats. They cost about 40 grand a person, um, for, for a very like, um, influential high, high net worth wealth individuals. And, um, and then she does [00:04:00] all this volunteer work, um, on the south side of Chicago. So just a really cool person who has, um, branding.

[00:04:07] Um, social media audience experiences. And so looking forward to meeting with her tomorrow to really start to hone out the, uh strategy around building soul growth as a brand and category. Thinking about maybe a newsletter, what might that look like? Um, what type of content creation strategy do we wanna use, to really start thinking about building an audience and then allowing that audience to kind of connect back with us and share what, their insights are.

[00:04:42] Um, lesson learned. Hmm. My lesson learned today, is actually a really cool one. I was really thoughtful this morning. I had an important call at nine and um, this was a call that could lead to [00:05:00] a consulting contract. and I've been crafting my story for that call and my journey, and I wanted it to be succinct and, um, I wanted to have the call go well and smooth and get the hope I wanted, which was to land a in-person meeting with this individual.

[00:05:19] And so I got up this morning. I did my, you know, I spent my time, I kept my phone. Interesting. I kept my phone on on d n d, um, do not disturb. And I did not wanna check any emails, texts. I did not wanna communicate with anybody, um, until I had my first call with this, this guy I felt like protecting and saving all of my energy, um, was important.

[00:05:44] And so that was really cool, um, because I walked to the park at this favorite park called Potawatomi Park by my house. And so I walked over there and I allowed that space to be the space where I'd have this call. And the call went great and I landed the [00:06:00] meeting. So, um, my lesson learned is protect my morning time, protect my energy in the morning, and, um, go to the places and spaces where I feel

[00:06:13] aligned, empowered and touched in tune, um, if I can, and, um, have my calls or conversations from there. So that was really cool metrics. I actually have like day three real metrics, which is super cool. So I just did 3 simple metrics, um, that I can track every day. So Twitter, I have 2,877 Follow. And on LinkedIn I have 15,267 followers.

[00:06:44] And then there's this other metric when you go to tech there that tells you how many profile views. So I have 1002 profile views. So not sure what those, um, metrics will continue to evolve into. Um, but I think [00:07:00] just looking at the metrics is a really great practice. , I'm still doing my one hour meditation in the morning, and I did do that this morning as well.

[00:07:09] So thank you. And day three in the books.

Building that into community, seeing what our audience, community members, partners, whatever terminology we end up using want to pay for, like what are the things and the needs. But I just feel like there's so much more information and insights that we need. And we don't have the, we don't have it yet.

We don't have it yet. The low, here's my low, I woke up at 2:15 AM.  and I was awake cuz I'm the person who, like, when I wake up, I'm pretty much awake and I have on Wednesdays I have a 5:00 AM class coaching class. And so I was like, I don't wanna go back to bed. And I'm fighting with myself.

I'm fighting with myself about my hour meditation, which I've committed to for my own soul growth. This is my soul growth journey. And so I'm going back and forth about. Hour meditation and when am I gonna do, and I could sleep for another hour and then I could get up at three 15. Cause that my class starts at 5:00 AM So I'm like, okay, 3 45, whatever.

And as I'm laying in bed, I'm doing my meditation in my head and I'm like, this is dumb. Just get up and do the meditation. So my low was, I, it was hard to sit through the meditation. I struggled, my back was hurting, like all these things. But did the meditation. My hope is that I continue to make progress.

My. Breaking of my limited beliefs around wealth creation, revenue generation money mindsets. I spent time yesterday with my coach. I think I might have mentioned it, but I went through all these false money mindsets and narratives that I've been carrying around with me for a very long time, and so I.

Revisited those Today, I kept to my commitment, which is my journal here of documenting when any limiting beliefs popped in my head or any celebrations. And then I'm committed to writing a 15 minute journal about what I noticed around my money mindset today. And lesson learned. My lesson learned.

You know when you know, and there's these layers inside of us that we have a sense around something. And so usually something starts with a little bit of this whisper, this questioning, this inner feeling that you can't see you don't, it's not clear, it's murky, but there's like something down there.

I think it's, maybe in an unconscious, subconscious, something like that's like this inkling of a intuition an inkling of here's an area where you could grow and go further. And I've learned that the first step. When you go from unconscious incompetence to unconscious competence, there's four steps involved, and that first step is the hardest.

When you go from what you don't know, you don't know. To having this like little sliver sense feeling like that's the money mindset for me when I really was like, oh wait, there's something there. There's these beliefs. What are the beliefs? What are the thoughts? I don't know. I don't know them fully, they're not fully exposed, but I'm sensing there's something there and it's deep and it's buried in there.

That to me is the reminder that it takes time and that step is where most people reject what they're sensing and feeling and they don't allow that felt sense to come up. And so I think that's part of the sole growth journey for me, is I wanna get like into those unresolved unconscious spaces and start to do work there.

Because I did all this work on the shit that I did see on the surface and the lack of self-regulation and the lack of ability to cope and all the anxiety and all that stuff. And so now that's cleared out and I'm really stable, I'm really healthy, I can now spend time on the deep layer underground stuff.

And so that's a lesson learned. That's a reason why to take care of your mental and emotional health and then metric. . Okay, so meditating an hour a day might not be my metric. Maybe it's my personal metric, but I don't know that it's a business metric. But if I got this clarity where I started this whole conversation today on starting to see how soul growth is an audience building company, category defining, brand defining play, if you will, strategy first, then my metric

would be some sort of social media. Renee and I had a great conversation today about TikTok. I went, I had a post that I did on LinkedIn yesterday that did really well, performed really well. So I think I could start to think about metrics. That I could easily figure out and a content generation strategy.

So those are all the things I've been thinking about and I appreciate this time to, to make this little podcast today. Okay, bye.