Blunt But Brilliant

Episode 35-Nikki and Tary Examine Their Personal Red and Green Flags

Nikki Ivers and Tary Varnum — Fri, 22 May 2026 00:00:00 -0700

In this episode, Nikki and Tary share their insights into their own red and green flags in relationships, self-awareness, and everyday habits. They explore how honesty, boundaries, and self-acceptance shape their lives and connections.

Nikki's favorite item of the week
(paid link) https://amzn.to/4vg0hBK

Tary's favorite item of the week
(paid link) https://amzn.to/4t7vSUY

*As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Episode 34-Are you Feeling Stuck? Us Too! Here is What We're Doing to Get Unstuck.

Nikki Ivers and Tary Varnum — Fri, 15 May 2026 00:00:00 -0700

In this engaging conversation, Nikki and Tary explore the challenges of feeling stuck, share personal stories, and discuss practical strategies for overcoming emotional and mental barriers. From handling anxiety and emotional blockages to embracing change and self-care, they offer valuable insights to help listeners navigate their own journeys of growth.

Nikki's favorite item of the week
(paid link) https://amzn.to/41dfXbj

Tary's favorite item of the week
(paid link) https://amzn.to/4serJgn

*As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases

Episode 33-The Secret Rules We Live By

Nikki Ivers and Tary Varnum — Fri, 08 May 2026 00:00:00 -0700

We had to dig deep on this one! Join us as we discuss the secret rules we live by. Maybe we're not even aware of some of these rules as they're so ingrained in our subconscious. What are some of your secret rules of life that motivate you or help you to make decisions?

Nikki's favorite item of the week
(paid link) https://amzn.to/4dhSehn

Tary's favorite item of the week
(paid link) https://amzn.to/4bU9yGH
(paid link) https://amzn.to/4bZwIvo

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Episode 32-What We Thought Would Matter...But it Didn't

Nikki Ivers and Tary Varnum — Fri, 01 May 2026 00:00:00 -0700

In this episode, we explore the things we once thought mattered but turned out to be insignificant, sharing personal insights and lessons learned. From college degrees to material possessions, discover what truly brings value and happiness in life.

Nikki's favorite item of the week
https://miimmiic.com/products/no-183-tomato-vine-eau-de-parfum?variant=53200060186992&tw_source=google&tw_adid=&tw_campaign=23545898141&tw_kwdid=&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=23545904615&gbraid=0AAAAAoc8_2qFFRnXyOLK4NVdk_fzNiby-&gclid=Cj0KCQjw4a3OBhCHARIsAChaqJOxYLoILA6vGMvTDpMefaqjp0KZ355iKukejkI-rkJdDDGLHfaIK5saAhO9EALw_wcB

Tary's favorite item of the week
(Paid Link) https://amzn.to/4v1Z6pp
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Episode 31-You Can Have Financial Freedom With Some of These Easy Ways to Save Money

Nikki Ivers and Tary Varnum — Fri, 24 Apr 2026 00:00:00 -0700

This episode explores practical strategies for saving money, investing wisely, and planning for a secure financial future. Nikki and Mike (The But) share personal stories, tips, and mental models to help listeners start saving at any age and achieve financial freedom.

Nikki's Favorite Item of the Week
Microwave your unpeeled garlic cloves for 10 seconds for easy peeling!
(paid link) https://amzn.to/4tjUmKj
*As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Mike's Favorite Item of the Week
https://marleyspoon.com/offer/flash-sale-270m-2026?CLID=goog&v=USMSSEAGOOGBR270M01Q126FS&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=US|MS|SEA|GooG|BR|01|marley_spoon_e&utm_content=brand&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=648646267&gbraid=0AAAAADQxRyNnAjIZqhEWCjpfzKp-kJaxO&gclid=Cj0KCQjwm6POBhCrARIsAIG58CJ45phdWBhmSUNMDHn34yutkd5iRyoD_DAtB2J1DHUsKmI685lZ6FwaAvCJEALw_wcB

https://www.hellofresh.com/pages/meal-kit-delivery?c=NAT-S01-GOOG-50OFF-FB-RF-BAU-01&mealsize=3-2&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=GLG_US_google_Act_2025_Brand_WK31_50PctOff_FreeBfast_Refresh_Main&discount_comm_id=4a8baf67-7b32-4d03-86ad-53eafe280047&utm_content=act_paidsearch_seabrand&offer=50pctFS-BF&dis_channel=seabrand&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=1822059265&gbraid=0AAAAADvIZeZNUFeiIxUk_FNKk7rsAjshd&gclid=Cj0KCQjwm6POBhCrARIsAIG58CKq3svCZUFzbQfIsCZcimmsXi1F28-1v7X4DLyNTMyjXTVBe-NEqUoaAqM0EALw_wcB

https://www.blueapron.com/?srsltid=AfmBOoq26MBsu9nxLz4ELzmPi_IVOCBPhM31KiMS22-bX7IW8j0LEqt5

Episode 30-To Forgive or Not to Forgive...That is the Question

Nikki Ivers and Tary Varnum — Fri, 17 Apr 2026 00:00:00 -0700

What does forgiveness look like to you? Do you agree with the statement "Forgiveness is for the forgiver"? In this episode, we break down how we feel about forgiveness and what we need in order to forgive someone. We also discuss how we feel about someone forgiving us and how resentments build up.

Nikki's favorite item of the week
https://www.facebook.com/search/top?q=kami%20orange%20boundary%20coach

Episode 29-Wisdom vs. Knowledge: If I Could Go Back in Time....

Nikki Ivers and Tary Varnum — Fri, 10 Apr 2026 00:00:00 -0700

If you could go back to an earlier time in your life with all of the wisdom you have now but not the knowledge of what's going to happen...would you? In this episode, we explore wisdom vs. knowledge. What is the difference and is one more important than another?

Nikki's favorite item of the week
https://www.kutfromthekloth.com/?&utm_source=affiliate&utm_medium=rakuten&utm_campaign=Partnermatic&ranMID=45100&ranEAID=wVnhk*alDNI&ranSiteID=wVnhk.alDNI-3GvQ6ZJVrhpqpq9H_MX7cw&pubname=Partnermatic&offerid=1637738&pubid=3893823&gad_source=1

Tary's favorite item of the week
https://www.amazon.com/Audible-Grim/dp/B0FQ65PSV9/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2A9FRU0CPVB6X&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.SLeI1AKDs_17c-omRHzmJyld9hqxG2CLzwBMC-ZOIFfp4aBGPqT4dv8TXqRH7Ece6Vf7XNDT0vghadzRjXJYqOCaRhLIC0i6HmP2p8qcq-PmLc7lVpY4LSGhPyFqaVQPxAACQghLddOF7nWY45NiRtlPLoEl7h9a4vFZoHWKvzh7ifZTLsMWmv3YXxXJ9bmQ5hX7cf8OqOEjYHDCpCp8A_0_q9cPsNT1DqtHszAy0S4.kbgntGb6YA4CbzM4aLfYoqCRdVenbHgg65h0bQYVz98&dib_tag=se&keywords=Grim&qid=1773863838&sprefix=grim%2Caps%2C165&sr=8-1

Episode 28-Doom Scrolling and How it Negatively Affects Us

Nikki Ivers and Tary Varnum — Fri, 03 Apr 2026 00:00:00 -0700

Most of us are scrolling through our phones everyday. We could be looking at social media, emails or texts. These things are fine in moderation, but it can become a problem when our scrolling habits tick over to doom scrolling. In this episode, we talk about the scrolling habits that affect us personally, why we do it, and how it makes us feel. We also discuss the effect doom scrolling has on our brains and different easy tricks we can utilize to quit this habit.

Nikki's favorite item of the week
(paid link) https://amzn.to/4c3Yh73
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Tary's favorite item of the week
https://www.amazon.com/Palmetto-Capsules-Essential-Phytosterols-SoftgelsSupports/dp/B0DZ2FDFTG/ref=sr_1_1?crid=QDB9S8NTE3FF&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.HMx_SkJNu5e3aUFrAmV-66D9yBUK8bcKr48gOZAqgdOK4aPO6ySLt6ayzQ-5uJu2E-7QAOfRBGvqqltUO7EPRGZC0BnQA8fs43Ny0IgZN0357z46yDex75gaqG4obyaU-hIeQjtzTy9wJ0IT2TngCXvojFn29R5b3aD94o5_ofZXU8RzjqoA8u003Ld1SOQvv_ZZowZZvQooMU2W3aaiWBV6UJ-sZOM1WdCeT4qpuWiMm58Co06zkusIPnBAZ3llAU84BOLwiaauDpYmyDGptQI7nGX7EE6FpUw5AwB3B8s.R8pdh9dw9p2SFg8ok-sCiEF4J0YZBmaPXJSFVNIlY4U&dib_tag=se&keywords=vivonu%2Bpumpkin%2Bseed%2Boil%2Bwith%2Bsaw%2Bpalmetto&qid=1773517106&sprefix=vivonu%2Bpump%2Caps%2C177&sr=8-1&th=1

Episode 27-How to Quiet Negative Thoughts

Nikki Ivers and Tary Varnum — Fri, 27 Mar 2026 00:00:00 -0700

Our friend, Mike, steps in for Tary this week to discuss negative thought loops and how to quiet them. We all have negative or intrusive thoughts. There is NOTHING wrong with you! Our brains are hardwired to think negative and positive thoughts as a biological survival instinct. We discuss several reasons why these intrusive thoughts pop up in our minds, and we give you lots of tricks to manage them. We also might sing a little bit, LOL!

Nikki's favorite item of the week
https://www.quince.com/women/100-organic-cotton-cropped-cable-sweater?color=big-sur-green&gender=women&tracker=collection_page__%2Fwomen%2Fsweaters-%26-jackets__All%20Products__224

Mike's favorite item of the week
https://ouraring.com/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=alwayson&utm_campaign=&utm_content=&g_campaignid=21633291994&g_adgroupid=165661507839&g_adid=772344593951&g_keyword=oura%20ring&g_keywordid=kwd-305035554360&g_locinterest=&g_locphysical=9030878&g_placement=&g_source={sourceid}&g_network=g&gclsrc=aw.ds&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=21633291994&gbraid=0AAAAAqpUsIl7ovo24A8vrA73cTXlPTqcJ&gclid=Cj0KCQjw37nNBhDkARIsAEBGI8Pi508dUzyYYoKTZ2iLgY2gWkwyhbWleoXzAFaRn_APpKW2QkcmEi4aAr4MEALw_wcB

Episode 26-What are the Basics of Self Care?

Nikki Ivers and Tary Varnum — Fri, 20 Mar 2026 00:00:00 -0700

We're going back to basics! You can't take care of anyone else if you don't take care of yourself. Self care doesn't always have to include visits to nail salons and spas. Self care comes in many different forms such as eating nutritious food, moving your body, drinking water and getting enough sleep. In this episode, we give you lots of ideas of how to take care of yourself that won't cost you any money or extra time during your busy day. You'll be surprised at some of the options we've come up with!

Nikki's favorite item of the week
(paid link) https://amzn.to/4sFVbNn
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Tary's favorite item of the week
https://www.vagaro.com/alchemybeauty

Episode 25-Body Language and Behaviors Are a Stand Alone Language

Nikki Ivers and Tary Varnum — Fri, 13 Mar 2026 00:00:00 -0700

Our actions should match our words, and when they don't, that can cause a lot of confusion. In this episode, we talk about why our behavior needs to mirror what we say, how it makes us feel when it doesn't and what we can do to rectify the situation. Behaviors are a language of their own, and we're exploring the impact it has on our relationships.

Nikki's favorite item of the week
https://www.amazon.com/Taj%C3%ADn-Cl%C3%A1sico-Seasoning-5-oz/dp/B0000GL6RK/ref=sr_1_5?crid=1HT06BY19OMQP&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.05DYKLp1lz7XAsFtbuWjFbLaD9Vhgw_Cb7rxo69mbH63nqF_pmAEGIYIzqxvMNbCjoKM4p38SyUFUqTTROA7gXYNMScRt1UkM1E77cn46eEUOb4kd0kP-9Eq6sGKa4XdEtcWlQLqyEUjxTdvcBYf_Yo7M3Bu5NMdZDXd6PidDtO5lr9PrusQc5Bo_yaJUq7hZcj3S3me2W-BK_S2MwRA8hVpVwUy28M57PkqxJRbKhKxMHUwDSb-xu1h8xhJ5CeERu50vdCiA7AMzJwNKbgp21botasLb8R208-kj_7it3E.s2vt_NyhIfkS1fdHKuqolz8hc4onG-c7VhDH0vyHpIE&dib_tag=se&keywords=tajin%2Bseasoning&qid=1772058174&sprefix=tajin%2Caps%2C181&sr=8-5&th=1

Tary's favorite item of the week
(paid link) https://amzn.to/3PzXvaj
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Episode 24-Safety Language and Why We Need it in All of Our Relationships

Nikki Ivers and Tary Varnum — Fri, 06 Mar 2026 00:00:00 -0800

What is your Safety Language? Emotional safety allows for vulnerability without fear of judgment. In this episode, Nikki and Tary explore the concept of safety language in relationships, emphasizing the importance of emotional safety, trust, and effective communication. They share personal anecdotes, and provide insights on how to navigate conflicts constructively. The conversation highlights the significance of vulnerability, accountability, and managing one's own emotions to foster healthier relationships.

Nikki's Favorite Item of the Week
Cucumbers in Peanut Dressing (Measure with your heart or look up a recipe on Google)
Here is what Nikki puts in hers: Thinly sliced English Cucumber, peanut butter, soy sauce, rice vinegar, fried garlic or 1 clove grated, fish sauce or MSG or Caldo Chicken Bullion Powder, Honey or Sugar, Chili Crisp or Sriracha sauce for spice (if you like that). Cover and shake until smooth.

Tary's Favorite Item of the Week
(paid link) https://amzn.to/4dmH4I5
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Episode 23-Midlife Dating in the Modern World

Nikki Ivers and Tary Varnum — Fri, 27 Feb 2026 00:00:00 -0800

Has dating become so complicated that we need spreadsheets and algorithms? We don't think so! Once you get to the in person date, the meet and greet should be simple and easy going. Tary gives her best advice based on her current dating experiences as a midlife woman; what she prefers, what she doesn't like, and how to set boundaries around giving access to your personal business. We break down behavioral scientist, Logan Ury's, "Post-Date 8". These are questions you should ask yourself after every date to help you focus on emotional and physical comfort to help you determine if there is a genuine connection.

Nikki's favorite item of the week:
https://amzn.to/4chxVzx
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Tary's favorite item of the week:
(paid link) https://amzn.to/4chxVzx
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Episode 22-Nikki Left the House! Friends Meet Up Group Debrief and Lots of Butts

Nikki Ivers and Tary Varnum — Fri, 20 Feb 2026 00:00:00 -0800

Nikki finally left the house! Nikki and Tary debrief their weird night participating in a local friends meet up group. Plus, what we're saying about Tary's butt and butts in general. Seriously, don't you want to know? LOL!

Nikki's favorite item of the week
https://www.amazon.com/s?k=bvvu+womens+5+inch+swim+board+shorts&crid=2ME4YNPKNM0FB&sprefix=bvvu+womens+5+inch+swim+board+shorts%2Caps%2C229&ref=nb_sb_noss_1
(paid link) https://amzn.to/4tqgrXD

Tary's favorite item of the week
(paid link) https://amzn.to/4mmBeJr

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Episode 21-Breaking Down the Savior Complex

Nikki Ivers and Tary Varnum — Fri, 13 Feb 2026 00:00:00 -0800

Helping or assisting others is a kind thing to do, but if that help is attached to your need to save people or if you help people at your own detriment, then we may be talking about having a Savior Complex. What is a Savior Complex, how can we spot it in ourselves or others, why can it be detrimental to ourselves and others, and how do we stop helping people at our own expense? Listen here for answers to those questions and more!

Favorite items of the week were skipped this week in favor of an update on Nikki's dad.

Episode 20-Why is it so Hard for Us to Receive Care or a Compliment?

Nikki Ivers and Tary Varnum — Fri, 06 Feb 2026 00:00:00 -0800

How do you feel when someone gives you a compliment or wants to take care of you? If it gives you the "ick", then you're not alone. One of our goals this year is to learn how to receive compliments and genuine care. Come with us as we explore why we have such a negative internal dialogue regarding people caring for us and how we can improve our relationships by receiving care and accepting that others want to give it to us.

Nikki's Favorite Item of the Week
https://www.ulta.com/p/cheirosa-71-hair-body-perfume-mist-pimprod2043065?CATARGETID=330000200003157012&CAPCID=795177924702&CATCI=dsa-491275539515&CAAGID=102603773200&CADevice=c&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=9833191174&gbraid=0AAAAAD9rLH6cZWdnJK_dQT6Jmhn8BeAlt&gclid=CjwKCAiAs4HMBhBJEiwACrfNZV3be83e1Xv4gn5HcgNkwUxI0a8qQiw4JbSKsth0wO72oSX75xkwfRoCThUQAvD_BwE

The Grapefruit Seed Extract Nikki Talks About
https://www.amazon.com/Nutribiotic-Liquid-Concentrate-Fluid-Ounce/dp/B0002JHZO8

Tary's Favorite Item of the Week
(paid link) https://amzn.to/4dhNoRa
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Episode 19-How it Feels to Have an Avoidant Attachment Style

Nikki Ivers and Tary Varnum — Fri, 30 Jan 2026 00:00:00 -0800

We all have an attachment style that is formed through early interactions with our childhood caregivers. This episode is a personal telling of what it is like to have an avoidant dismissive attachment style and how it effects Nikki's life including her marriage. If you have this same attachment style, or if you're involved with an avoidant dismissive, you'll want to listen to this. Change and progress can me made, with professional support, to move into a secure attachment style for anyone willing to recognize the need for the change and putting in the work to get there.

Nikki's Favorite Item of the Week
(paid link) https://amzn.to/47DxRYm
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Episode 18-How to Look and Feel Your Best in Midlife

Nikki Ivers and Tary Varnum — Fri, 23 Jan 2026 00:00:00 -0800

We are looking and feeling the best we've ever felt, and we want to share our secrets with you! We're here to talk about all of the skincare, haircare, hormones, peptides and everything else that's making us live longer and feel fabulous. Midlife doesn't have to be a drag. We're having the time of our lives, and we want you to join us.

Nikki's Favorite Item of the Week
(paid link) https://amzn.to/4sMfc57
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Episode 17-Why I Went No Contact With My Father

Nikki Ivers and Tary Varnum — Fri, 16 Jan 2026 00:00:00 -0800

Tary is out this week, so Nikki takes the opportunity to tell her story about why she finally had to go "no contact" with her father. Get ready for the decades long heartbreaking story of the downfall of a family due to one man's alcoholism, narcissism and mental illness. Unfortunately, the harassment continues, and Nikki gives an update of the latest scheme that her father has implemented to try and get her attention.

If you or anyone you know is in crisis and/or struggling with suicidal or self harming thoughts, please call the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 or go to 988Lifeline.org to start a live chat. The Lifeline is available 24/7/365, day or night, free and confidential.

The world is a better place with you in it.

Nikki's Favorite Item of the Week
(paid link) https://amzn.to/4cmCUht
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Episode 16-Let's Normalize People Not Liking Us

Nikki Ivers and Tary Varnum — Fri, 09 Jan 2026 00:00:00 -0800

We know that it can hurt when someone doesn't like you. Maybe you did something to offend them, they're jealous, or there may not be a reason at all. How do we get past the hurt or humiliation of another person not liking us? Listen to this episode for tips and coping tools on how to deal with this type of situation. Instead of worrying about why another person doesn't think that you're their cup of tea, let's learn to take care of ourselves and stop losing sleep over trying to control another person's narrative.

Nikki's Favorite Item of the Week:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1451695195/?bestFormat=true&k=proof%20of%20heaven&ref_=nb_sb_ss_w_scx-ent-bk-ww_k0_1_12_de&crid=1NZ7TITP2SAKM&sprefix=Proof%20of%20Hea
(paid link) https://amzn.to/4dWqPSd

Tary's Favorite Item of the Week:
(paid link) https://amzn.to/4tmCUEV

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Episode 15-The Christmas Debrief

Nikki Ivers and Tary Varnum — Fri, 02 Jan 2026 00:00:00 -0800

Is there anyone else, other than us, that needs to debrief their Christmas holiday? We need to vent! The too much of everything really got to us this year, and we have things to say. If someone sends you an RSVP to an event, and you don't respond, please don't show up last minute and expect us to accommodate you! Ok, that feels better. HO, HO, HO...ughhhhhhhh. Join us in venting out all of your holiday stress. We're here for you!

Nikki's Favorite Item of the Week:
(paid link) https://amzn.to/4dgomSt

Tary's Favorite Item of the Week:
(paid link) https://amzn.to/4dgomSt

As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.

Episode 14-Accountability 101

Nikki Ivers and Tary Varnum — Fri, 19 Dec 2025 00:00:00 -0800

There's nothing we want more in a relationship than accountability. How do we admit we were wrong and not take a huge hit to our ego? The more accountable we are for our actions, the more people will trust us. Saying we're sorry, then changing the inappropriate behavior so that it doesn't happen again goes a long way with our friends, coworkers and loved ones. We also discuss the other side of accountability which is being able to receive an apology and what to do if we feel like we're being taken advantage of.

Nikki's favorite item of the week:
https://topfoxx.com/products/small-bella-coffee-tangle-free-aviator-sunglasses

Episode 13: Idiot Compassion (Yeslighting) vs. Wise Compassion

Nikki Ivers and Tary Varnum — Fri, 12 Dec 2025 00:00:00 -0800

What is the difference between practicing idiot compassion versus wise compassion? Idiot compassion is when you're more focused on avoiding conflict and feeding your own ego. Wise compassion acts with courage and wisdom to address the root cause of another's suffering. Wise compassion gets to the heart of the issue instead of staying surface oriented and placating or enabling the other person. Idiot compassion can also be called "Yeslighting". In this episode, we dig into some of our own experiences of yeslighting, wise compassion and how it has changed the structure of our lives. We all need to learn how to bring more wisdom into our lives by practicing true compassion and accepting it when it's given.

Tary's favorite item of the week:
https://lumineuxhealth.com/products/whitening-strips-14-treatments?srsltid=AfmBOorZmnIGiWzRY4lWS-D-opAf24dN2LkSRak8qcPvpkUkdYMhOnP8

Nikki's favorite item of the week:
https://www.shopicebrrg.com/products/icebrrg-shaker?srsltid=AfmBOor-Z-Yh78WgOnyb0gcSPXtAuwLG721E5DPC-UfY6oxxzQbSAFOp

Episode 12-Happy Holidays! Christmas Traditions, Gifts and Traumas

Nikki Ivers and Tary Varnum — Fri, 05 Dec 2025 00:00:00 -0800

Sleigh bells are ringing, and Santa is coming! In this episode, Nikki and Tary talk about their families' Holiday traditions in the 1980's and how it compares to their current traditions with their growing families. Christmas can also be a hard time for families and kids that are dealing with addictions, depression or illness. Nikki shares her "Christmas Trauma" that formed the way she celebrates the holidays and made her appreciate the family that she and Mike have built.

Nikki's favorite item of the week
https://sequencing.com/

Tary's favorite item of the week
https://www.amazon.com/Lights-Out-Into-Darkness-Novel/dp/B0FL2T86WF/ref=sr_1_1?crid=NCTWCNLZ15JS&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.Sb0l4rCbehjLv0SQhXlQ_t9nH1IXoFX0YNmLSCfiNU0eLzj3BFKvVKi4MuuhhM3hmlZl88JhlDxpD83Un0KHsin0h1sUDAYGA4kFUhPA_q8GM_esWEh8g4BQ-lbZtUJoTUSVKZlumIyEEJt9ptZXWMbIu3CRM0ioWvg-h2VrkSnb_qxKMIE5Ct4Mojn51VJ1nh4BZeW2-XLjd6rOV9buufk8W_tmeCC1bz0gPY-3iO0.p7AokzQSIQh61uxJ22GAJWV1pS35Aj6FD2ZT_IGdym4&dib_tag=se&keywords=navessa+allen+lights+out+series&qid=1764707865&sprefix=navessa+allen+light%2Caps%2C171&sr=8-1

Episode 11-Intuition Isn't Magic...lt's Science!

Nikki Ivers and Tary Varnum — Fri, 28 Nov 2025 00:00:00 -0800

We have a gut feeling that a lot of people out there need to hear this. Intuition used to be thought of as some kind of mystic psychic thing that people didn't really understand. Well, it's not magic...it's science! Albert Einstein thought intuition to be a "sacred gift" and "the only real valuable thing". He also believed that while the rational mind is a useful servant, intuition is the source of true discovery and innovation. Research shows that our "gut feeling" is rooted in past experiences, accumulated knowledge, and core instincts. At certain times, our brains are flipping through gobs of learned information at lightning speed to make sense of a situation. While this is happening, we might feel a bit sick to our stomachs, off balance, headachy or tingly. That is the "gut feeling". In this episode, we'll share with you why it's important to listen to your inner voice, how to pay attention to your intuition, and the benefits you receive when you learn how to do this.

Nikki's Favorite Item of the Week
https://snif.co/products/crumb-couture?_pos=1&_psq=crumb&_ss=e&_v=1.0

Tary's Favorite Item of the Week
https://www.amazon.com/Cobbe-Handheld-Pressure-Showerhead-Substance/dp/B0BJDPJNN3/ref=sr_1_3_sspa?crid=3ISDFOBCMPE3L&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.65SO_FX0GH0XiWwo9fSa8sYfXo48lDD43fuKkWxfbrGBLRib0Z-7xB9C8G7CS1uF7H6bhbo-sLXBD4E3w_8iyzHkLlkK0SleMJTrXDcqo5-AYvLb98h4JOGcBlNec_FAC6Cv1djPkkrq7x50GAEFNP7V4lUPZl0Czal1AA02eGsNUvz4RG5hUcRGSZL0b8YqSFpJK-FOk5sLv8tkMDoTTLUCXCEvEoA4Eu6wq4C8VaZT325EMFz3AS48203GbwvH7_0XD_C4GEamPbSon8m7NSI7mFlv2xbDGjxx_5Goklw.Qncetbv7wMKDFI5Jc3fE7G_ySuhhmLA7BXkeTHlv5OE&dib_tag=se&keywords=shower%2Bhead%2Bfilter%2Bfor%2Bhard%2Bwater&qid=1763236233&sprefix=shower%2Bhead%2Bfilter%2Caps%2C183&sr=8-3-spons&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9hdGY&th=1

Episode 10-Oxytocin: The Love Hormone

Nikki Ivers and Tary Varnum — Fri, 21 Nov 2025 00:00:00 -0800

Oxytocin is a hormone produced in the pituitary gland that makes us feel connected to others. Interestingly, it also can make us feel more empathetic and plays a role in fidelity. In this episode, we reference many different studies that show how oxytocin seems to help us stay monogamous in our relationships, improve mental health, combat addictions and feel connected to our loved ones. We'll tell you what you need to do in order for your body to produce this "love hormone" so that we can all live longer, healthier and more fulfilling lives.

Tary's favorite item of the week:
https://theherocompany.co/?srsltid=AfmBOopf_ODqqGO1NItgtFxZc6zOCLG2xyAlw7yFWLL-VxynApemYF8Z&zCountry=US

Nikki's favorite item of the week:
https://www.amazon.com/CeraVe-Repair-Cream-Circles-Puffiness/dp/B00JJPMXDO/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3R81Q2BPCBSCX&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.nT1G4mXP8ASLSRmgdKpv-qiE-mi-RqlAautLySQ5_q_nObFjvv2gOGqMfYpP_mk_NC4LG9bvLugAlLNIEw3ERspUzMZxEwqs1IlzlyW9A5sI_kmjSQd5ThSzfx8Vy-wAz7XKYTbk8DPXC5GbywN6iRoZMiiUxUcHQT_BLKvom7LIdGwJeUw2cIebXSj652PMYmtnd7EQSDGRScZvzxq6oOf6ccW6MEWVxn6UvLCXnhKzeFIeAiwyvAHVY0LPIixz46aXmmPwkYe8T5qH9ix6qHIW1HWPsmbMs7l0V80ZzKE.ct_f4VdEWm--BgU6JO-RF5pJb40x0hiEYEY27peqS3I&dib_tag=se&keywords=cerave+eye+repair+cream&qid=1762212875&sprefix=cerave+eye%2Caps%2C177&sr=8-1

Episode 9: We're Not Nice. We're Kind. There's a Difference

Nikki Ivers and Tary Varnum — Fri, 14 Nov 2025 00:00:00 -0800

There is a big misconception out there that you have to be nice in order to be kind. Not true! Women, especially, have a tendency to be nice even when they're in danger emotionally or physically, and we are here to give you permission to STOP BEING NICE. Being nice is very surface oriented where being kind comes from a place of genuine care, empathy, compassion and a desire to act in another person's best interest...even if it's hard. Let's all start standing up for ourselves while also doing the right thing. We hope you think differently about what it means to be nice vs. kind after listening to this episode.

Nikki's favorite item of the week
https://www.amazon.com/l-f-Long-lasting-High-pigment-Cruelty-free-Bold-Faced/dp/B0DFMXLWN2/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?crid=JZW1FZM4D0YU&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.c4AWaaWQqDu6Ph3zueiesGeFT5-eGXPFmJTPtJ1hpdBLEw1RG5ZE0lno1B45KTYzJwnvNtTa_ndsB6tur40e9aN5rOIBN9q3VcdJZ03VETHXPZ-a3mO0f1M1-VHMju6qS3oS6jVtuJ_patZksG4MM0KOa4m4LSAgF0Nvo3v0a3m2o6P1D3rM6grr2B0aXBMUU3qUUELlsfi-ykP5COoz9_Sk2FYujuPY3f0o7hwJbkKXWUFCDyyR8nENkRnNGX40Zvm4jitfR3LD_ynN7qMW92ahB_uw3YxIOUbUdM0jOUk.7eiAAi69sYgI0Q7ladvGYZU4rt6Ya5zMvEwjtjVbb_I&dib_tag=se&keywords=elf%2Bcamo%2Bliquid%2Bblush&qid=1761271916&sprefix=ELF%2Bcamo%2Caps%2C177&sr=8-1-spons&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9hdGY&th=1

Tary's favorite item of the week
https://www.ilovehalloween.com/americas-best-pumpkin-patches/

Episode 8-Rev Your Engines! Dark Romance as a Book Genre and Culture

Nikki Ivers and Tary Varnum — Fri, 07 Nov 2025 00:00:00 -0800

We are going down the Dark Romance rabbit hole, and we invite you to join! Dark Romance culture is exploding on BookTok, and we are here for it. Listen while we discuss the different genres, themes and dating culture that involves anti-heroes such as uber masculine bikers, mob bosses and more. Dark Romance books can get VERY SPICY, and so does this convo, so try not to clutch those pearls too tight while we deep dive into this intriguing subculture!

Tary's favorite item of the week
https://www.amazon.com/TOWKING-Heavy-Duty-Off-Road-Traction-Storage/dp/B0F541DDH8/ref=sr_1_1_sspa?crid=3ER7LZOIF4VYA&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.lFneh1tv5DB0nWu53HfkBpxMbqRrAldo2MN5sNTDrq-sMiIZx1mB5v6D3FtaIyw1-4CEN05r0yf4ddweAetiw3SiAQ3u2zVED9G4BeS0xNL280prcV076mM3O09XBX1Of_HerkcT_AyYngskIDvIl8PW5m8xmfW8mZnpfqH1veiXpPApAeuvwgFel4cU4Ec3-POv5B4EW0kT7L_DftCEKkPicJsq_cp5b0or7dDso1Y.2rYudKU-v2vn8yb0IekRSwSqvZw04cfAFKp4Vk9BrjI&dib_tag=se&keywords=towking%2Btraction%2Bboards&qid=1760657565&sprefix=towking%2Btraction%2Bboards%2Caps%2C149&sr=8-1-spons&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9hdGY&th=1

Nikki's favorite item of the week
https://www.costco.com/p/-/room-service-womens-shawl-collar-pajama-set/4000255907?storeId=10301&partNumber=4000255907&catalogId=10701&langId=-1&krypto=xcWiMTPLlrfA7kGD8qvafkCXa5RROwsp%2F1XhIEWLPi9%2BwJEPLysTNMS%2F1XAyNo6A3Stxuv5PsL2S9pO%2FobE5ujv3azpOQrxA7WfKa2ftdLk1xUukQLJJ8NnrhgNieamA

The book Nikki talks about in this episode
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CNJCSZRL/?bestFormat=true&k=camera%20shy&ref_=nb_sb_ss_w_scx-ent-pd-bk-d_k0_1_10_de&crid=56YJ0R4LPRHV&sprefix=camera%20shy

Episode 7-Self Expression: How to Be Yourself

Nikki Ivers and Tary Varnum — Fri, 31 Oct 2025 00:00:00 -0700

Self expression is an active way to show others our true personality. We can do this in many different ways such as art, sports, personal style, or just doing anything we love. This episode gives you suggestions on how to find your authentic true self and why it's so important for your overall health. Stop masking your amazing unique personality, and show the world who you really are!

Nikki and Tary's favorite item of the week:

https://tv.apple.com/us/show/shrinking/umc.cmc.apzybj6eqf6pzccd97kev7bs

Episode 6-Magical Questions: How to Cut Through the Small Talk

Nikki Ivers and Tary Varnum — Fri, 24 Oct 2025 00:00:00 -0700

Are you tired of talking about the weather or what you do for a living? Are you an introvert that feels tortured by small talk? We've got you! In this episode, you'll learn how to ask the right questions in awkward social settings to cut through the small talk and really get to know people. Magical questions are questions that everyone wants to answer and everyone wants to hear the answers. You can use this technique at any social gathering where you don't know anyone, or you can use it to spark interesting discussions with your friend and loved ones. Ready, Set, Connect!

Tary's favorite item of the week
https://www.netflix.com/title/81783093

Nikki's favorite item of the week
https://www.amazon.com/LiBa-Massager-Trigger-Fibromyalgia-Scratcher/dp/B098VZKHWB/ref=sr_1_5?crid=36V0GGZR0U0C9&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.vHEVVsWNO_EnJJOGQ_jaxAmGiluRg3pb6nFDNcm58jsMf8vQ9_SQs9cmHmVoE1e7k7gr0MXEzEVnYX2oomoVpDL3n2j0oRh56lwugthvYnIO8rDhauxTFsRyEA_zJ5bU7l291sAzzd1K6UiR6oI4xI7VcxIP7nYEHfw-Ev8fpEvySarSq7bJq727IMBVWilDSrKJ7-8-nYIGQjYVfYxaiWAd3-EwBPDCy62em6TgoKFnmmto-u1v69SqBW1A2xK95ywJbWP9-xF98onOEUneU8qma_nEo_Tig2K2DkqHX4Y.LAIEjHi-LWXJqeBRWFFAo8kmwktJm6_Z3zr51FDNjME&dib_tag=se&keywords=liba%2Bback%2Band%2Bneck%2Bmassager&qid=1759787543&sprefix=liba%2Bneck%2Caps%2C165&sr=8-5&th=1

Episode 5-Personal Boundaries

Nikki Ivers and Tary Varnum — Fri, 17 Oct 2025 00:00:00 -0700

Having healthy boundaries is the best way to have healthy relationships in all aspects of your life including romantic relationships, friendships and work, but it can be a confusing concept. In this episode, Tary and Nikki talk about 7 different types of personal boundaries, how to set them and how to protect them. You'll learn what to do and what not to do when someone violates your boundary. Let's all get better at boundaries together!

Tary's Favorite Item of the Week
https://www.amazon.com/Kitsch-Exfoliating-Scrubber-Cellulite-Lymphatic/dp/B09RYLXT1D/ref=sr_1_5?crid=2Q70DYI9U2PI8&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.gLEqA4ASdQS8eeJU78egSTs0XRid8DVzfVIZibiwoVOb_YWq2UZEdEOJXuLqCLA4Ma2Y1JyaxhyxIgCInma6I6Q5YTxfSI53_U7hs_-lNk4-wvL-f3SmqsFK7F4fNy7HzZbB7o51ZZ9nlF_vcrItlIEuzQSRcrWB8lbgLjmxNW373GZvj4dVgpGQZ8BPFEsF0jO1cS_dLRMlswxKqqSGqhmgs7dL8gjAVChslEKwSkt-wC4HyQJYsAxrzh_BfOnJkEe3AIRsWDTD67ub9uR0krxTC6yHH4ofo8hxP_bP1Sk.mYzl-DnB04srNyIPI0Wy-jt8bzMGQXWYCq-MJWJzAdY&dib_tag=se&keywords=Kitsch+Dry+Brushing+Body+Brush&qid=1759781168&sprefix=kitsch+dry+brushing+body+brush%2Caps%2C162&sr=8-5

Nikki's Favorite Item of the Week
https://www.netflix.com/title/81630027

Episode 4-The Third Option

Nikki Ivers and Tary Varnum — Fri, 10 Oct 2025 00:00:00 -0700

Decision making is a part of our everyday lives, but sometimes we just get stuck. The third option is a technique Tary and Nikki have been using for a while to help the decision making process go easier. The option to do nothing is also a valid position to take, and we'll tell you why and how to do it properly. Be prepared to step out of your box, get creative, and make decisions like a boss!

Tary's favorite item of the week
https://www.amazon.com/Housemaid-Freida-McFadden-Housemaids-Watching/dp/B0D96PRTK2/ref=sr_1_5?crid=1CD1DHEQPSGQ7&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.NpKCwZNiHePS8Kz4Nn7ysyf7gljdZYg06f75Z3hDVOjwoifiWPVDPDjZ-DgrIqsW0XT05euviEbD5Ezj8AODV5eQ-ykj2HBuwdVxOL3Ahskit4pM1Vhbn9cKWqrxWMjur9YmCjqA9paDnaAgyeRige8iN24eLl524cDQkS_pw0NJlA_427eOVv_1U2Lsez4CkV08CAWCAbG4hrd3tHjkCpqOlZ70akOiMdr2SVZfVqg.jeU59b2Cm3FF4BTEZUms41gTDqUJ59AG0vanDa6SPmw&dib_tag=se&keywords=freida+mcfadden+the+housemaid+series&qid=1759189529&sprefix=freida+mcfadden+the+hou%2Caps%2C187&sr=8-5

Nikki's favorite item of the week
https://www.amazon.com/Clyecfra-Salicylic-Strength-Moisturizer-Hydration/dp/B0DP597DVZ/ref=sr_1_2_sspa?crid=1Q1HGRZGRKA0S&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.VAjOEcwRcqaLRhp4WgBPhMK0Ry3qGaXdJbwz_2zwT8G4gjkyg2zAp5TmWxaHiVHnM6zRertRSPC-6JYVPT6nHgQVTFnMiun-3smfXPDEnDiBOHc937PNCmhEn-Tx01lg0Nab3iHndpzPEIUNUHdjV9Z5EDMOKwF26yPF4K_EJSXcOOyO_ONMP_qGmVytm5d4kOalntAzOZarI-KE76L1vDzTxhYGnuj2qJ0by0I3QwxtgjR7cao-5vi4No4hcxPePSDvBbW_-unlhyajnJ-VaqsaXOUupUC3vBR-HW2cX6g.efGh0DUWzHNNcCuFqzTTY_DWW6IXS299-freYYAVYYg&dib_tag=se&keywords=urea%2Bcream%2B60%2Bpercent%2Bfor%2Bfeet%2Bmaximum%2Bstrength&qid=1759189617&sprefix=urea%2Bcream%2B%2Caps%2C187&sr=8-2-spons&sp_csd=d2lkZ2V0TmFtZT1zcF9hdGY&th=1

Episode 3-Toxicity Series Part 2 "Toxic Relationships"

Nikki Ivers and Tary Varnum — Fri, 03 Oct 2025 00:00:00 -0700

This is the second installment of our Toxicity Series. If you are, have been, or might be involved in a toxic relationship...this episode is for you. Nikki and Tary explore the signs and symptoms of a toxic relationship and also give ideas on how to extract yourself from these situations if needed. Trigger warning: Talk of physical, mental, emotional, psychological and sexual abuse in the last 5 minutes of the episode.

If you are the victim of domestic abuse, you can call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or click here: https://www.thehotline.org/

Tary's favorite item of the week
https://www.amazon.com/l-f-Vitamin-Brightening-Soothing-Cruelty-Free/dp/B0F3JCDFVT/ref=sr_1_1?dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.9kmQZYNRa85Lc_ef01Fvr6W1LZyCupN1vqPVdJKCNSJTs4GTHUuaPBIdWGUp8I1kAUlKj6Oc9KDEnlnpNuyZy_RfdJQGhPqjW2AebgqCXhRYoGGZAZ6VlBeImMm4FaAaEkO4_5S7pRv4aJ8YqAgN88_PSJfAANkmAtvLpBYJirzGdXmVbMp5ER5C0GKPR9DKyG_w6HuUBVdD5FNP1peVwUD9ABnsO9un5F6L04DHxz0Bogwy6RlGmRNINXKu8jh0NOKVeSUST1KTI1RVYbqHzlTQqvZuJeyZQDuzXqY4hjs.aevx6srqXJdmOW2YqSzuM-cpXAG87474y4Hed2Wvz_Y&dib_tag=se&keywords=ELF%2Bskin%2Bbright%2BIcon%2BVitamin%2BC&qid=1759179480&sr=8-1&th=1

Nikki's favorite item of the week
https://my.shortstorybox.com/?tag=gads-13956835817-132767285216-575789878079/short%20story%20box&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=13956835817&utm_adgroup=132767285216&utm_content=575789878079&utm_term=short%20story%20box&matchtype=e&network=g&device=c&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=13956835817&gbraid=0AAAAAC-ufTkUalGhVsGxHnAmSWb9BTlzU&gclid=Cj0KCQjw3OjGBhDYARIsADd-uX5axBmTGLeNcfQN2oHMvybg4ORNsU-iDFcppBkrvfzR2JHWQ2qmAFwaAqPqEALw_wcB

DM us "Short Story" through our Facebook page, Blunt But Brilliant Podcast, for a link to get your first $25 styling fee with Short Story Box waived.

Episode 2 - Toxicity Series Part 1 "Toxic People"

Nikki Ivers and Tary Varnum — Fri, 26 Sep 2025 04:00:00 -0700

Toxic people are all around us. They can be our partners, coworkers, family members or friends. Even WE can be toxic sometimes. This episode takes a look at how to identify a toxic person, how to deal with a toxic person and what to do if we discover that we are the toxic person. Nikki also tells a relatable story about a work incident that will now forever be referred to as "The Bell Situation", and Tary thinks that we should invent a Bingo card for dating. What strategies do you have to keep yourself grounded when interacting with toxic people? Let us know by following our Facebook page. We love to hear your comments and suggestions!

Episode 1 - Hi, It's Nikki and Tary!

Nikki Ivers and Tary Varnum — Wed, 24 Sep 2025 12:08:46 -0700

Welcome to Blunt But Brilliant! Get to know your cohosts on this "Meet and Greet" with Nikki and Tary. We share who we are, how we met, and where we hope to take this podcast. We also talk a little bit about our tried and true method of problem solving and decision making we call "The Third Option". We love suggestions and comments, so follow our Facebook page, and let us know what you're thinking.