Key Takeaways
Passion Isn’t Infinite—It Needs Structure
Passion gives momentum, but without rest and boundaries, it can lead to burnout. Intentional pauses and balance fuel sustainable energy, avoiding the trap of “too much of a good thing.”

Harmonious vs. Obsessive Passion
Harmonious passion allows joyful engagement without overwhelming life. Obsessive passion, however, brings stress, and disrupts other aspects of well-being. Balance between dedication and detachment is crucial for long-term fulfillment.

Purpose is the Compass; Passion is the Fire
Purpose guides, passion energizes. Purpose without passion can feel like homework, but passion without purpose can lead to burnout or lack of direction.

Give Yourself Grace—Life is About Exploration
Discovering passion isn’t a one-time epiphany. It’s about staying curious and allowing passions to evolve over time. Embrace the moments of flow and joy, but remember that rest and self-awareness are key to sustaining those passions.

Memorable Quotes
“Passion and purpose aren’t separate—they’re two sides of the same coin. Purpose gives direction; passion provides the fuel.”
“Rest isn’t the opposite of passion; it’s the fuel that keeps the fire burning strong.”
“If you’re running on just purpose, life can feel heavy. If you’re running on just passion, you can lose direction.”
Reflective Questions
Are you balancing passion with intentional rest and structure?
How do you differentiate between harmonious and obsessive passion in your own life?
What steps can you take to ensure your purpose and passion align for a balanced, fulfilling journey?
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As George shares, living a life in alignment with purpose isn’t just a milestone. It’s a daily commitment, a continual practice of showing up fully as ourselves. It’s about being real, engaging with purpose consistently, and allowing it to shape the way we approach each day.

Key Highlights from Our Conversation
1. Discovering Patterns Through Experimentation
George emphasizes that before we align, we experiment. He talks about the importance of trying new things and exploring different paths to understand what truly resonates. This experimentation reveals patterns, allowing us to start crafting a life that’s in sync with who we are.

2. Aligning Actions with Core Values
Alignment isn’t about achieving a one-time goal; it’s about connecting our insights with our actions. George shares how he found his groove in creating content, educating, and guiding others—an outlet that perfectly aligns with his mission to educate and inspire. When your work syncs with your values, you’re not just checking off tasks; you’re fulfilling a purpose.

3. Living with Purpose, Daily
Purpose isn’t a destination; it’s a practice. George reminds us that purpose requires us to show up and live it daily. It’s an active commitment, not a box to tick off. Living purposefully is a journey, and it’s about staying true to our values in everything we do.

Why This Matters
Living with purpose doesn’t happen by accident. It’s a process of reflection, experimentation, alignment, and practice. When we stop just “getting by” and start aligning with what truly matters to us, life feels more meaningful. This episode is a reminder that purpose isn’t a one-time revelation—it’s a daily practice that brings us closer to our true selves.

Related Episodes:
Embracing the Journey: Navigating Life’s Twists and Turns
Authenticity and Alignment: How to Show Up as Your True Self
Finding Joy in Purposeful Work
Quotes to Reflect On
“Purpose isn’t a one-time discovery. It’s a daily practice that you engage with consistently.”
“When your actions align with your purpose, that’s when life really starts to click.”
“Purpose is the compass that guides us through the storm.”
This episode offers a powerful reminder: when you align your actions with purpose, you’re not just living life; you’re creating a life that’s deeply meaningful.

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The Four Cornerstones of the Superhuman Framework aren’t just theory—they’re a blueprint to shift how we show up in the world. In this episode, George and I break down each cornerstone and discuss what it looks like to embrace them fully. If you’ve ever felt like there’s more to life but weren’t sure how to tap into it, this conversation will give you the tools to do so.

Key Highlights from Our Conversation
1. Defining the Four Cornerstones: George walks us through the core principles—Passion, Purpose, Persistence, and Love—and explains how these cornerstones work together to form a balanced, powerful approach to life and work. We talk about why they’re essential not just for high achievers but for anyone looking to live a more intentional life.

2. Passion: Fueling Our Journey
Passion isn’t just a buzzword; it’s the energy that drives us forward, even when the going gets tough. George shares personal stories of how passion has been his compass, helping him navigate both successes and setbacks. We dive into why finding and nurturing our passions is critical to a fulfilling life.

3. Purpose: The Anchor in the Storm
Purpose gives us direction. It’s not about following someone else’s roadmap but discovering what we’re truly here to do. We discuss how identifying and aligning with our purpose provides a sense of stability, even in chaotic times. George shares insights on how to find your purpose and let it guide your decisions.

4. Persistence: The Power to Keep Going
Persistence is the grit that keeps us moving when passion alone isn’t enough. George talks about the importance of resilience, especially for high achievers who often face burnout. We explore practical ways to cultivate persistence, so you can stay the course without sacrificing your well-being.

5. Love: The Core of It All
Love isn’t just a feeling; it’s the thread that connects everything we do. From loving the people around us to finding self-compassion, love fuels our ability to live authentically. George explains why love is the cornerstone that holds everything together and how we can all bring more of it into our daily lives.

Why This Matters
The Four Cornerstones of the Superhuman Framework offer a path to living beyond the superficial markers of success. This episode is a reminder that life is more than just achieving goals; it’s about becoming a person who lives with integrity, resilience, and genuine connection. If you’re ready to challenge the default settings of your life and embrace something deeper, this episode is for you.

Related Episodes:
How to Cultivate Passion in Everyday Life
Finding Purpose in Uncertain Times
Building Resilience: Persistence Without Burnout
Practicing Self-Compassion and Love
Powerful Quotes from the Episode
“Passion fuels the journey, but purpose gives it direction.”
“Persistence isn’t about ignoring the obstacles; it’s about knowing why you’re willing to face them.”
“Love is the cornerstone that holds everything together. Without it, all the success in the world feels empty.”
“When you live with purpose, every decision feels like a step toward something meaningful.”
If you’re ready to embrace a framework that goes beyond the hustle, tune in to this episode and start building your superhuman foundation.

Together, they dig into what each cornerstone means in real, actionable terms. From love as the connection fueling our relationships and pursuits, to purpose as the compass guiding us through uncertainty, to passion as the energy that makes hard work feel worthwhile, and persistence as the grit to keep going—these are more than just words; they’re essential to living a life aligned with who we truly are.

If you’re ready to ask yourself, “What kind of life am I building?” and “What drives me to keep going when things get tough?” then this episode will serve as both inspiration and a practical guide. Whether you’re starting fresh or looking to reignite your journey, the 4 Cornerstones offer a roadmap to live intentionally and meaningfully, with purpose and joy in every step.

🌱 Related Episodes:

How to Make Vulnerability Your Superpower
Is Self-Care Selfish, Bullsh*t, or Actually Valuable?
✨ Takeaway Quote: "You're the architect of your own life. What you build—and the passion, purpose, and persistence you bring to it—is what makes the journey extraordinary."

This episode is personal, it’s real, and it’s something we need to talk about, especially for those of us who pour ourselves into work that we care deeply about.

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Burnout is a term that gets thrown around a lot, but what happens when the thing that used to light you up—your dream job, your passion project—suddenly becomes the source of your stress? How do you navigate that emotional and physical toll when you still care so much about what you’re doing?

George and I roll up our sleeves in this episode to address these questions, and we don’t shy away from sharing our personal stories and struggles with burnout. I even talk about my own recent health scare and how it forced me to rethink how I balance life and work. If you’ve ever found yourself teetering on the edge of burnout while doing what you love, you’re not alone, and this episode is for you.

🌱 Related Episodes:

• How to Make Vulnerability Your Superpower
• Is Self-Care Selfish, Bullsh*t, or Something Actually Valuable?
  
  

A lot of times, people talk about burnout in abstract terms—just another buzzword. But George and I wanted to shift the conversation to focus specifically on what happens when burnout hits in work that brings you joy and purpose. When you’re doing something you’re passionate about, burnout doesn’t always feel like an option because you love what you’re doing. But even when you’re in love with your work, burnout can still creep in—and it can be more devastating when it does.

I share my experience of having to hit the pause button recently because of a significant health scare. It forced me to ask tough questions about rest, boundaries, and how to keep showing up for the things that matter without running myself into the ground.

Burnout Topics We Cover

burnout, emotional clarity, health scares, work-life balance, self-care, productivity, mental health, communication, passion, stress management

Highlights from Our Conversation

• Defining Burnout in Work You Love: We start by acknowledging how burnout presents differently when you care deeply about your work. It’s not just physical exhaustion; it’s emotional fatigue that leaves you questioning the very passion that got you started in the first place.

• George’s Burnout Thermometer: George introduces the concept of his “burnout thermometer,” a personal gauge he’s developed over time to check in with himself before burnout takes over. This involves identifying the warning signs before it’s too late and taking intentional steps to avoid a crash.

• The Importance of Rest and Reflection: One of the biggest lessons I’ve had to learn is that rest isn’t the enemy of productivity; it’s a necessary part of the process. We discuss how to recognize when it’s time to step back and how to do it without guilt—especially for all my fellow Type A’s who struggle with letting go!

• Practical Tips for Avoiding Burnout: From micro-breaks to setting boundaries, we break down real, actionable strategies for avoiding burnout, even when it feels like stepping away is impossible. George and I both share how we’ve had to prioritize ruthlessly and learn how to say “no” or “not now” to protect our mental and physical health.

• How to Rebalance Your Workload: We know that stepping away isn’t always realistic. But you can still rebalance your workload and make time for the things that matter most. We talk about how to delegate, communicate, and prioritize effectively so that you don’t end up burning the candle at both ends.

• Understanding the Consequences of Ignoring Burnout: What happens when you don’t listen to your mind and body? We get real about the very real consequences of burnout—from physical illness to career stagnation. And if you’re thinking, “It’s just a rough patch, I’ll get through it,” this episode might change your perspective on what’s really at stake.

Quotes About the Importance of Burnout

“You can’t pour from an empty cup. Take care of yourself first.” - Unknown

“Burnout is what happens when you try to avoid being human for too long.” - Michael Gungor

“The truth is that burnout is a sign that something needs to change, not that you should just push through.” - Carly Ferguson

“Sometimes the most productive thing you can do is rest.” - Mark Black

“You can do anything, but not everything.” - David Allen

“Burnout doesn’t happen because we’re solving problems; it happens when we’ve been solving the same problem over and over.” - Susan Scott

“Rest and self-care are so important. When you take time to replenish your spirit, it allows you to serve others from the overflow. You cannot serve from an empty vessel.” - Eleanor Brownn

“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.” - Anne Lamott

“Burnout is nature’s way of telling you you’ve been going through the motions, your soul has departed; you’re a zombie, a member of the walking dead, a sleepwalker.” - Sam Keen

“Rest is not idle, not wasteful. Sometimes rest is the most productive thing you can do for body and soul.” - Erica Layne

“It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.” - Lou Holtz

“Self-care is not selfish. You can’t serve from an empty vessel.” - Eleanor Brownn

“Sometimes the best way to love what you do is to step away for a moment and come back refreshed.” - Unknown

“You owe yourself the love that you so freely give to your work.” - Unknown

“Burnout doesn’t have to mean giving up on your passions, but it does mean adjusting how you approach them.” - Unknown

“You can’t g...

We’re breaking down what bravery actually feels like in the real world. Sometimes it feels like you’re about to puke. Sometimes it’s quiet, personal, and shows up in ways that nobody else will ever see. Bravery isn’t about waiting for some magical feeling of confidence to wash over you—it’s about stepping into the scary stuff anyway, even when your brain is screaming:

“Abort mission!”

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So if you’re sitting there wondering how the heck you can be braver in your everyday life without having to slay a dragon or leap off a building, this one’s for you. George and I are diving into the ways we’ve both shown bravery in our own lives (it wasn’t glamorous), and how you can start recognizing those small but powerful brave moments in your life, too.

Bravery isn’t some magical state of being where everything suddenly feels great and you know exactly what you’re doing. (If that happens, let me know, because I’ve been missing out.) It’s messy, it’s uncomfortable, and it often looks like taking tiny, awkward steps forward when you’d rather curl up in a ball. But if you’re still moving forward—no matter how scared, unsure, or uncomfortable you feel—you’re already doing it. You’re already brave. And that’s the whole damn point.

So stop waiting for bravery to feel epic. Start giving yourself credit for the brave things you’ve already done, and get out there and do the next scary thing. Because trust me, you’re braver than you think.

🌱 Related Episodes:

• How to Make Vulnerability Your Superpower
• Is Self-Care Selfish, Bullsh*t, or Something Actually Valuable?
  
  

Bravery Topics We Cover

everyday bravery, quiet courage, overcoming fear, bravery vs. fearlessness, cultural expectations of bravery, taking action despite fear, personal growth through discomfort, mindset shifts for bravery.

Highlights from Our Conversation

• Bravery Isn’t Fearlessness (Because Let’s Be Honest, Fear Never Fully Goes Away): Let’s cut to the chase—if you’re waiting to magically feel fearless before taking action, you’re going to be waiting forever. Bravery isn’t the absence of fear; it’s showing up and doing the thing with fear tagging along for the ride. We break down how fear and bravery are basically two sides of the same coin, and why being scared doesn’t disqualify you from being brave. In fact, it’s kind of the whole point.

• The Everyday Acts of Bravery You’re Probably Overlooking: Listen, yes, jumping out of a plane might be brave, but so is setting a boundary with someone when you’ve spent your whole life being a people-pleaser. We dive into the tiny, everyday acts of bravery that don’t get any applause but make all the difference—things like saying “no,” asking for help, or simply getting through the day when life feels heavy. Trust me, these are the real MVP moments of bravery.

• Why Hollywood’s Definition of Bravery Is Screwing You Over: Society—and yes, Hollywood too—has trained us to think bravery is all about big, visible acts of heroism. But in reality, most bravery happens when no one’s watching. We talk about how these warped ideas about bravery have messed with our heads, and why comparing yourself to some superhero storyline is a surefire way to feel like you’re not measuring up. Spoiler: You don’t need a cape or a grand gesture to be brave.

• George and I Share Our Not-So-Glorious Brave Moments: We’re getting real about the times we’ve had to be brave—and spoiler, it didn’t look like the movies. From business decisions that scared the hell out of us to moments of personal growth where we had no idea what was coming next, we talk about the times we didn’t feel brave at all in the moment but looking back? Yeah, we were. If you’re waiting for some epic brave feeling to hit before you make your move, we’re here to tell you: that’s not how it works.

• Stop Waiting for the Feeling—Just Do the Damn Thing: If there’s one thing we want you to take away from this episode, it’s that bravery isn’t some feeling that sweeps you off your feet. It’s about moving forward when you’re scared out of your mind. We break down why waiting until you feel ready is a trap and how the most important thing you can do is just start. Whether that’s having the tough conversation or finally taking the leap on something you’ve been putting off—just go.

• How to Start Acting Bravely (Even When You Don’t Feel Like It): Want to know how to be braver in your everyday life without feeling like you’re gearing up for battle? We’ve got you covered. George and I walk you through practical, real-life strategies for stepping into those moments of discomfort and taking action, even when you’re not feeling particularly bold. It’s not about waiting for bravery to arrive—it’s about building it as you go.

• Recognizing the Brave Moments You’re Already Crushing: Here’s a hot take: You’re already braver than you think. Seriously, when was the last time you gave yourself credit for all the times you’ve been brave, even when it didn’t feel like it? We talk about how to look back at your own life and recognize those small moments of courage that probably flew under the radar—and why you should start celebrating those wins, like, yesterday.

Quotes About the Importance of Love

“Bravery is the capacity to perform properly even when scared half to death.” - Omar N. Bradley

“It is not the strength of the body that counts, but the strength of the spirit.” - J.R.R. Tolkien

“Bravery is being the only one who knows you’re afraid.” - Franklin P. Jones

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.” - Winston Churchill

“The bravest thing I ever did was continuing my life when I wanted to die.” - Juliette Lewis

“You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’” - Eleanor Roosevelt

“Bravery is the audacity to be unhindered by failures, and to walk with freedom, strength, and hope, in the face of the things...

Summary of the Show: In this insightful episode, George B. Thomas and Liz Moorehead dive deep into the complexities of love, asking the provocative question: “When did love become uncool?” They explore why love, despite being central to human experience and relationships, is often dismissed or downplayed in today’s culture. George reflects on his personal journey with love, from sermons he gave as a teenager to his current understanding of different types of love—ranging from agape (unconditional love) to pragma (enduring love). The conversation touches on how love has been commercialized, trivialized, and distorted by pop culture, leading many to shy away from embracing or discussing love openly. They also delve into how true love goes beyond romantic notions and encompasses self-love, compassion, and commitment to others' well-being.

Quotes:

• “Love isn’t just a fleeting feeling; it’s what makes happiness deep and lasting when we tie it into everything we do.” - George B. Thomas
• “When love drives us to seek justice and fairness, we help build a more compassionate world.” - George B. Thomas
• “It’s okay to be vulnerable in showing your love. If discomfort equals growth, why not embrace it?” - George B. Thomas
• “True love isn’t supposed to be stressful; it’s the unlock element for everything else in our lives.” - George B. Thomas

Scriptures:

• 1 Corinthians 13:4-7: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."
• 1 John 4:18: "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."
• Proverbs 10:12: "Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs."
• Colossians 3:14: "And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."

Reflective Questions:

1. Self-Assessment: How comfortable are you with openly expressing love in your life? Are there areas where you hold back due to fear or societal expectations?
2. Cultural Perception: In what ways has pop culture influenced your understanding and expression of love? How might that perception be limiting your relationships or self-growth?
3. Types of Love: Which forms of love (romantic, self-love, agape) are most prevalent in your life? How can you cultivate a more balanced approach to expressing and receiving love?
4. Barriers to Love: What past hurts or societal pressures keep you from fully embracing love? How can you begin to dismantle those barriers?
5. Daily Practice: What intentional practices can you incorporate into your routine to make love a more active and consistent part of your life?

Show Summary :

In this special check-in episode, George and Liz reflect on their personal growth journeys over the past year while discussing vulnerability, self-worth, and the lessons they've learned. The conversation is honest, raw, and full of insights as they explore the challenges of consistency, embracing vulnerability as a superpower, and navigating the balance between boundaries and walls. They share their highlights and lowlights, address tough questions about self-belief, and offer practical advice for listeners on overcoming mental barriers and stepping into their true potential.

Quotes:

• “You can be on a football field and you know the boundaries. But if I lock the doors, you can't even get into the stadium. I wasn’t letting people into the stadium to play the game that is life.” - George B. Thomas
• “I was too loud, too tall, too strange—and I see worth in that now.” - Liz Moorehead
• “When you pour love into yourself, it becomes easier to pour love into your world.” - Liz Moorehead
• “If discomfort equals growth, why would I run from discomfort? I’m embracing it and moving forward.” - George B. Thomas

Relevant Scriptures:

• Psalms 46:10: "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."
• Proverbs 16:3: "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans."
• James 4:6: "But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’"
• Philippians 4:6-7: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."

Reflective Questions:

1. Self-Assessment: How has your relationship with self-worth evolved over the past year? Are you more or less confident in your abilities and value?
2. Vulnerability and Growth: What walls have you built to protect yourself from discomfort? How can you begin to dismantle them to allow for growth?
3. Consistency and Focus: What areas of your life need more focus to maintain consistency? Are you saying yes to too many things?
4. Support Systems: Who can you trust to help you navigate moments of vulnerability and self-doubt? How can you strengthen these relationships?
5. Belief in Possibilities: How has your belief in what’s possible for your future changed over time? Are you excited or anxious about the path ahead?

Quotes We Used:

• “Pacing yourself is essential. A holistic approach is a marathon, not a sprint. You don't have to overhaul your life overnight.” - George B. Thomas
• “A holistic approach doesn't mean focusing on everything equally at once. It’s about prioritizing what needs attention now and making intentional adjustments.” - George B. Thomas
• “Holistic well-being is like the glue that holds all the other pieces of our lives together.” - George B. Thomas
• “Balance is not something you find; it's something you create.” - George B. Thomas

Scriptures We Usedt:

• Psalms 46:10: "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."
• Proverbs 16:3: "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans."
• James 4:6: "But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’"
• Philippians 4:6-7: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
• Proverbs 11:2: "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom."

Reflective Questions:

1. Self-Assessment: How do you currently approach your life holistically? Are there areas that feel out of balance?
2. Prioritization: Which aspects of your life need immediate attention, and how can you begin to address them holistically?
3. Mindset Shift: How can you gradually shift your mindset towards a more holistic approach without overwhelming yourself?
4. Support Systems: Who in your life can help you maintain a holistic balance? How can you strengthen these relationships?
5. Consistency Over Time: What small, consistent actions can you take today to start building a sustainable, holistic lifestyle?

Summary of the Show: In this episode, George B. Thomas and Liz Moorehead explore the significance of resetting our relationship with physical health. George shares his journey from focusing on weight loss to aiming for a pain-free life, emphasizing the importance of creating a lifestyle that supports overall well-being. They discuss the mental barriers, such as fear and limiting beliefs, that can hinder our health goals and provide practical strategies to overcome them. The episode highlights physical, mental, and emotional health interconnectedness and the need for a holistic approach to achieve a balanced and fulfilling life.

Quotes We Used:

• “When I shifted my mindset from losing weight to reducing pain and enhancing my quality of life, everything started to fall into place.” - George B. Thomas
• “Our bodies, minds, and souls are interconnected. Taking care of our physical selves leads to a more fulfilled, energized, and purposeful life.” - George B. Thomas.
• “Physical health is the great equalizer to the other framework elements in the Superhuman Framework.” - George B. Thomas.
• “Consistency and making sustainable changes are key. It’s not just about shedding pounds; it’s about creating a lifestyle that supports overall well-being.” - George B. Thomas

Relevant Scriptures:

• Psalms 46:10: "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."
• Proverbs 16:3: "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans."
• James 4:6: "But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’"
• Philippians 4:6-7: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."
• Proverbs 11:2: "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom."

Reflective Questions:

1. Self-Assessment: How do you currently approach your physical health? Are there areas where you struggle to maintain consistency?
2. Mental Barriers: What limiting beliefs or fears prevent you from prioritizing physical health? How can you address and overcome these barriers?
3. Holistic Approach: How can you integrate physical, mental, and emotional health practices into your daily routine for a balanced and fulfilling life?
4. Small Changes: What minor, consistent changes can you improve your physical health without feeling overwhelmed?
5. Support Systems: Who can support your journey towards better physical health? How can you strengthen these relationships?

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Exploring the stigma surrounding mental health, understanding its roots, and providing strategies to overcome this stigma while promoting mental well-being and emotional intelligence.

Summary of the Show:

In this episode, George B. Thomas and Liz Moorehead tackle the sensitive topic of mental health stigma. They share personal stories and insights about the importance of addressing mental health openly and without shame. George discusses the historical context of mental health stigma and its evolution, emphasizing the need for a supportive community and open conversations. The episode highlights the role of emotional intelligence in building stronger relationships and the importance of maintaining mental health for overall well-being. They provide practical strategies for seeking help, fostering self-awareness, and developing emotional resilience.

👨‍💻 Join the community.

Quotes:

• “You don't have to control your thoughts. You just have to stop letting them control you.” - Dan Millman
• “Building emotional intelligence is only possible if you stay mentally healthy or can get through the ish and get to the point where you might think that you're mentally healthy.” - George B. Thomas
• “Healing takes time, and asking for help is a courageous step.” - Mariska Hargitay
• “The quality of your thoughts dictates the quality of your life.” - Liz Moorehead

Scriptures:

• 2 Corinthians 12:9-10: "But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For Christ's sake, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
• Proverbs 16:3: "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans."
• James 4:6: "But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’"
• Philippians 4:6-7: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus."
• Proverbs 11:2: "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom."

Reflective Questions:

1. Self-Assessment: How do you currently handle discussions about mental health in your personal and professional life? Are there areas where you feel stigmatized or uncomfortable?
2. Emotional Awareness: How can you improve your emotional intelligence to understand better and manage your own emotions and those of others?
3. Support Systems: Who are the people in your life with whom you can trust to discuss your mental health? How can you strengthen these relationships?
4. Mental Health Practices: What daily or weekly practices can you implement to improve your mental well-being?
5. Breaking the Stigma: How can you contribute to breaking the stigma around mental health in your community?

Strategies for Overcoming Mental Health Stigma:

1. Regular Self-Reflection: Set aside time each day for self-reflection to evaluate your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Acknowledge moments of stigma and strive to change them.
2. Seek Professional Help: Don’t hesitate to seek professional help when needed. Therapy can provide valuable insights and coping strategies.
3. Educate Yourself and Others: Learn more about mental health issues and share this knowledge with others to reduce misinformation and stigma.
4. Practice Emotional Intelligence: Use mindfulness, empathy, and effective communication to develop your emotional intelligence. This helps you build stronger relationships and understand others’ perspectives.
5. Create a Supportive Environment: Foster an environment where open discussions about mental health are encouraged. This can be within your family, workplace, or community.
6. Use Technology Wisely: Leverage technology for positive mental health practices, such as online therapy sessions or mental health apps, while setting boundaries to avoid digital overwhelm.
7. Balance Social Media Use: Be mindful of your social media use. Focus on positive interactions and limit exposure to harmful or triggering content.

This episode encourages listeners to overcome mental health stigma by fostering open conversations, seeking professional help, and practicing emotional intelligence. Individuals can improve their mental well-being and build stronger, more authentic connections by creating a supportive community and promoting self-awareness. The conversation emphasizes the importance of breaking down barriers and proactively addressing mental health for a fulfilling and balanced life.

Balancing authenticity and well-being in our lives to enhance personal growth, build stronger connections, and navigate challenges with grace and resilience.

Summary of the Show:

In this episode, George B. Thomas and Liz Moorehead discuss embracing humanity by balancing authenticity and well-being. George shares his insights on openness about feelings and experiences, emphasizing the significance of trusted relationships for sharing vulnerabilities. They explore how showing vulnerability fosters genuine connections, builds emotional resilience, and helps develop a positive inner environment. The conversation covers practical strategies for maintaining authenticity, practicing self-compassion, and ensuring holistic well-being. They also highlight the role of emotional intelligence and self-acceptance in enhancing personal and professional relationships.

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Quotes:

• “Embracing vulnerability allows for genuine connection. It builds a sense of community. It helps you develop emotional resilience by facing and sharing your true self, your whole ass human, which essentially you're showing up as you.” - George B. Thomas
• “Self-compassion, positive self-talk, and vulnerability create a positive and loving environment within ourselves, radiating outward to those around us.” - George B. Thomas
• “Our humanity begins as a collective. The first step is decentering the me and tapping into the we, which unlocks truly special things.” - Liz Moorehead
• “It's okay to struggle with this. We all have moments of doubt and fear. The key is not to be perfect but to be persistent in our efforts to connect with our humanity.” - George B. Thomas

Scriptures:

• Psalms 46:10: "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."
• Proverbs 16:3: "Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and he will establish your plans."
• James 4:6: "But he gives more grace. Therefore it says, ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’"
• Philippians 4:6-7: "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
• Proverbs 11:2: "When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom."

Reflective Questions:

1. Self-Assessment: How do you balance authenticity and well-being in your life? Are there areas where you struggle to be completely honest with yourself or others?
2. Emotional Awareness: How can you practice self-compassion and positive self-talk? What impact does this have on your daily life and relationships?
3. Support Systems: Who are the people in your life that you can share your vulnerabilities with? How can you strengthen these trusted relationships?
4. Authenticity: How can you show up more authentically in your personal and professional life without fear of judgment?
5. Emotional Intelligence: What steps can you take to improve your emotional intelligence and better understand and manage your emotions?

Strategies for Balancing Authenticity and Well-Being:

1. Regular Self-Reflection: Set aside time each day for self-reflection to evaluate your thoughts, feelings, and actions. Acknowledge moments of inauthenticity and strive to correct them.
2. Practice Self-Compassion: Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you would offer a friend. Embrace your imperfections and celebrate your strengths.
3. Seek Support: Engage with trusted friends, family, or professionals to share your vulnerabilities and seek guidance.
4. Cultivate Emotional Intelligence: Enhance your emotional intelligence through mindfulness, empathy, and effective communication. Use mindfulness techniques to stay aware of your emotions.
5. Build Positive Habits: Incorporate healthy habits into your daily routine, such as regular exercise, adequate sleep, and nutritious eating, to support your physical and mental well-being.
6. Set Realistic Expectations: Understand perfection is unattainable and focus on progress instead. Set realistic goals and appreciate your efforts and achievements.

This episode encourages listeners to embrace their humanity by balancing authenticity and well-being. By practicing self-compassion, seeking support, and cultivating emotional intelligence, individuals can navigate challenges with resilience and build stronger connections. The conversation emphasizes the importance of continuous growth, self-reflection, and a positive inner environment that radiates outward, contributing to a more compassionate and connected human experience.

In our conversation, we discuss the concept of holiness and its relevance to both religious and non-religious individuals. That's right! We're not here to preach religious doctrine of any kind. And although we do bring our own personal stories to the table, they are much more diverse than you might think.

In fact, we spend a lot of time discussing science. We explore the idea that holiness is about nurturing and cultivating the essence within us — whether we view that "essence" through a religious, spiritual, or completely secular lens — and that it can be achieved through various practices and beliefs. We emphasize the importance of living ethically, being kind, and constantly working on personal growth.

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We highlight the common ground between different religions, secular belief structures, and global philosophies when it comes to the pursuit of holiness. Nurturing the soul and embracing holiness is essential for inner peace, personal growth, and finding meaning and purpose in life. It involves self-reflection, building meaningful connections, and embracing curiosity. It also leads to better mental health, resilience, and fulfillment.

It is important to guard the heart and focus on self-awareness. Nurturing the soul helps navigate challenges with grace and strength, and fosters compassion and empathy. It brings balance, harmony, and integration to all aspects of life. 

Topics We Cover

holiness, spirituality, religion, ethics, personal growth, compassion, kindness, nurturing the soul, holiness, inner peace, personal growth, meaning and purpose, self-reflection, meaningful connections, curiosity, mental health, resilience, fulfillment, self-awareness, challenges, compassion, empathy, balance, harmony, integration, personal growth, meaningful life

Takeaways + Highlights

• Holiness is about nurturing and cultivating the essence within us, regardless of religious or non-religious beliefs.
• Living ethically, being kind, and constantly working on personal growth are key aspects of holiness.
• Different religions and philosophies share common ground when it comes to the pursuit of holiness.
• Acts of charity, empathy, and awareness are important practices in the journey towards holiness.
• Holiness is a journey within ourselves, where we strive to live authentically and make a positive difference in the world.

Quotes About Humility

"The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind." - Caroline Myss
"To live a pure unselfish life, one must count nothing as one's own in the midst of abundance." - Buddha
"Holiness does not consist in doing extraordinary things. It consists in accepting, with a smile, what Jesus sends us. It consists in accepting and following the will of God." - Mother Teresa
"When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy." - Rumi
"You must find the place inside yourself where nothing is impossible." - Deepak Chopra
"We can never obtain peace in the outer world until we make peace with ourselves." - Dalai Lama
"The unexamined life is not worth living." - Socrates
"In the midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you." - Deepak Chopra
"The spiritual journey is the unlearning of fear and the acceptance of love." - Marianne Williamson
"Spirituality is not adopting more beliefs and assumptions but uncovering the best in you." - Amit Ray
"The most powerful weapon on earth is the human soul on fire." - Ferdinand Foch
"It is not the length of life, but the depth." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Spirituality is not about being fixed; it is about God being present in the mess of our unfixedness." - Michael Yaconelli
"Prayer is not asking. It is a longing of the soul. It is daily admission of one's weakness. It is better in prayer to have a heart without words than words without a heart." - Mahatma Gandhi
"The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Your sacred space is where you can find yourself again and again." - Joseph Campbell
"True holiness consists in doing God's will with a smile." - Mother Teresa
"We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience." - Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
"The quieter you become, the more you can hear." - Ram Dass
"Just as a candle cannot burn without fire, men cannot live without a spiritual life." - Buddha
"Holiness is not the luxury of the few; it is a simple duty for you and me." - Mother Teresa

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
"Awakening is not changing who you are but discarding who you are not." - Deepak Chopra
"Holiness is not freedom from temptation, but power to overcome temptation." - G. Campbell Morgan
"It is in the heart that the soul finds its life." - Rumi
"The only journey is the one within." - Rainer Maria Rilke
"To be a soulful person means to go through life with a sense of awe and appreciation, recognizing that you are part of something much larger than yourself." - Oprah Winfrey
"Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without." - Buddha
"The great thing in the world is not so much where we stand as in what direction we are moving." - Oliver Wendell Holmes
"Holiness means embracing what is most human in us." - Jean Vanier

George shares his definition of humility as a blend of religious beliefs and psychological growth. He also shares a personal story of how a motorcycle accident taught him the importance of humility. 

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I reflect on my own experiences of humility and how they shaped my perspective on love and relationships. Humility is essential for personal growth and building strong, respectful relationships. It fosters a mindset of continuous learning, openness to new ideas, and willingness to learn from others. Humility helps build stronger relationships by increasing the ability to listen actively, value others' contributions, and create a foundation of mutual respect and trust.

It encourages empathy, compassion, and understanding of others' imperfections, reducing conflicts and promoting collaboration. Humility keeps individuals grounded, realistic, and approachable, preventing arrogance and entitlement. It is a key component in the journey to a life beyond one's default.

Topics We Cover

achievements, battle, relaxation, weight loss, lifestyle change, humility, definition, religious beliefs, psychological growth, personal story, motorcycle accident, love, relationships, humility, personal growth, relationships, continuous learning, openness, empathy, compassion, collaboration, grounded, approachable

Takeaways + Highlights

• Finding a balance between work and relaxation is a constant battle for many people.
• Humility is a blend of religious beliefs and psychological growth, involving recognizing our limitations, serving others, and having a balanced self-esteem.
• Humility can be learned through personal experiences, such as George's motorcycle accident, which taught him the importance of deflating the ego and focusing on others.
• Humility is not about putting oneself down, but rather having a clear understanding of one's strengths and weaknesses and being open to feedback and growth.
• Experiencing great love can be a humbling experience, as it requires putting the other person's happiness and well-being above one's own. Humility fosters a mindset of continuous learning and openness to new ideas.
• Humility helps build stronger relationships based on mutual respect and trust.
• Humility encourages empathy, compassion, and understanding of others' imperfections.
• Humility reduces conflicts and promotes collaboration.
• Humility keeps individuals grounded, realistic, and approachable.

Quotes About Humility

"Humility is not thinking less of yourself, it's thinking of yourself less." - C.S. Lewis

"True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less." - Rick Warren

"Pride makes us artificial and humility makes us real." - Thomas Merton

"Humility is the solid foundation of all virtues." - Confucius

"The only wisdom we can hope to acquire is the wisdom of humility: humility is endless." - T.S. Eliot

"A great man is always willing to be little." - Ralph Waldo Emerson

"Humility is nothing but truth, and pride is nothing but lying." - Saint Vincent de Paul

"There is no respect for others without humility in one's self." - Henri Frederic Amiel

"Humility is really important because it keeps you fresh and new." - Steven Tyler

"The higher we are placed, the more humbly we should walk." - Marcus Tullius Cicero

"The greatest friend of truth is Time, her greatest enemy is Prejudice, and her constant companion is Humility." - Charles Caleb Colton

"Humility is the essence of love and intelligence; it is not an achievement." - Jiddu Krishnamurti

"I believe the first test of a truly great man is in his humility." - John Ruskin

"Humility is the only true wisdom by which we prepare our minds for all the possible changes of life." - George Arliss

"Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less." - Ken Blanchard

"A humble person is more concerned about what is right than about being right." - Ezra Taft Benson

"Real genius is nothing else but the supernatural virtue of humility in the domain of thought." - Simone Weil

"Humility is a great quality of leadership which derives respect and not just fear or hatred." - Yousef Munayyer

"Humility is the mother of all virtues; purity, charity, and obedience. It is in being humble that our love becomes real, devoted, and ardent." - Mother Teresa

"One cannot be humble and aware of oneself at the same time." - Madeleine L'Engle

Now! Let's talk about this week's conversation. George and I discuss the importance of honesty in relationships and personal growth. We highlight how honesty builds trust and credibility, strengthens relationships, and encourages accountability. We also emphasize the need for self-awareness and reflection to identify areas for improvement.

And, of course, we got personal. That seems to be a big theme, recently.

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I share a personal experience of having an honest conversation with a friend to address a long-standing problem in their friendship. And George discusses a difficult conversation he had with his father to mend their strained relationship. Both examples demonstrate the challenges and rewards of maintaining integrity. \

Our conversation explores the challenges of being honest and maintaining integrity in personal and professional relationships. It emphasizes the importance of self-reflection, learning from mistakes, and taking small steps towards greater honesty. 

Of course, we couldn't ignore how important it is to strike a clear balance between honesty and empathy, as well as the role of intentions in communication, and the need for active listening, when pursuing truth with others. We also highlight the significance of creating a supportive environment that values open and honest communication. Our discussion concludes with the reminder that progress, not perfection, is the goal in developing greater integrity.

Topics We Cover

honesty, relationships, trust, credibility, accountability, personal growth, self-awareness, reflection, communication, self-reflection, mistakes, empathy, active listening, support, progress

Takeaways + Highlights

• Honesty is the cornerstone of all success and builds trust and credibility in relationships.
• Being honest with others strengthens relationships and encourages accountability.
• Honesty with oneself leads to personal growth and a higher standard of living.
• Honesty creates a positive and supportive environment and promotes authenticity.
• Having difficult conversations and addressing issues honestly can lead to stronger and more meaningful connections. Developing greater integrity requires self-reflection and learning from mistakes.
• Being specific and direct in communication reduces misunderstandings.
• Active listening and creating a supportive environment are key to fostering open and honest communication.
• Progress, not perfection, is the goal in developing greater integrity.

Quotes About Honesty + Integrity with Others

"Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching." - C.S. Lewis

"Honesty is the fastest way to prevent a mistake from turning into a failure." - James Altucher

"Integrity is telling myself the truth. And honesty is telling the truth to other people." - Spencer Johnson

"The high road is always respected. Honesty and integrity are always rewarded." - Scott Hamilton

"Honesty is the cornerstone of all success, without which confidence and ability to perform shall cease to exist." - Mary Kay Ash

"In the end, you should always do the right thing even if it's hard." - Nicholas Sparks

"Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody's going to know whether you did it or not." - Oprah Winfrey

"The truth may hurt for a little while, but a lie hurts forever." - Unknown

"Honesty is the best policy. If I lose mine honor, I lose myself." - William Shakespeare

"Integrity is choosing your thoughts and actions based on values rather than personal gain." - Chris Karcher

"When you walk a life of honesty, you live a life of truth." - Therese Benedict

"Integrity is not something you show others. It is how you behave behind their back." - Unknown

"Honesty and integrity are absolutely essential for success in life – all areas of life. The really good news is that anyone can develop both honesty and integrity." - Zig Ziglar

"Integrity means that if our private life was suddenly exposed, we'd have no reason to be ashamed or embarrassed. Integrity means our outward life is consistent with our inner convictions." - Billy Graham

"To be persuasive we must be believable; to be believable we must be credible; credible we must be truthful." - Edward R. Murrow

"No legacy is so rich as honesty." - William Shakespeare

"Integrity is making sure that the things you say and the things you do are in alignment." - Katrina Mayer

"If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything." - Mark Twain

"The greatness of a man is not in how much wealth he acquires, but in his integrity and his ability to affect those around him positively." - Bob Marley

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The conversation unpacks with unflinching candor the themes of self-deception and honesty. I talk about the experience of finding inspiration for writing and realizing the role of confusion in enabling self-deception. And George went there by discussing his struggle with weight and the lies he told himself.

We both talk about the importance of self-reflection and being honest with ourselves. Practicing radical honesty with oneself can boost personal integrity, enhance emotional resilience, and improve decision-making. It promotes a sense of calm and stability, leading to overall well-being and a happier, more fulfilling life.

By being honest with ourselves, we align our actions with our true values and beliefs, leading to a greater sense of self-respect. It also helps us confront uncomfortable truths and reduce internal conflicts. Practicing radical honesty allows us to make sustainable positive changes in our lives and live in alignment with our true selves.

Topics We Cover

honesty, self-deception, self-awareness, negative self-talk, inflated ego, personal growth, self-deception, honesty, self-reflection, confusion, weight, lies, radical honesty, personal integrity, emotional resilience, decision-making, well-being, self-respect, uncomfortable truths, internal conflicts, positive changes, alignment

Takeaways + Highlights

• Self-deception can manifest in negative self-talk and an inflated ego, both of which can hinder personal growth.
• Being self-aware allows us to learn from our mistakes and avoid falling into the trap of self-deception.
• Honesty with ourselves is crucial for personal growth and maintaining a balanced perspective.
• Self-deception can lead to a distorted self-perception and prevent us from recognizing our weaknesses.
• It's important to avoid extremes of self-deception and strive for a more balanced and honest view of ourselves. Self-deception can manifest in negative self-talk, stories we tell ourselves, and beliefs that shape our thoughts and actions.
• Confusion can be a result of setting conditions that enable it and waiting for answers instead of seeking them.
• Self-reflection and regular time set aside for introspection are crucial for gaining a clear and honest understanding of oneself.
• Fear can lead to self-sabotage and staying small in life, but confronting fears and choosing clarity over comfort can lead to growth.
• Being honest with oneself and others is essential for building healthy relationships and addressing issues.
• Identifying and challenging the lies we tell ourselves can help break free from self-deception and live authentically. Practicing radical honesty boosts personal integrity and self-respect.
• Being honest with oneself enhances emotional resilience and reduces internal conflicts.
• Radical honesty improves decision-making and promotes a sense of calm and stability. It allows for sustainable positive changes and living in alignment with one's true self.

Quotes About Honesty + Self-Deception

"Self-deception is nature; hypocrisy is art." - Mason Cooley

"We are more often frightened than hurt; and we suffer more from imagination than from reality." - Seneca

"The easiest person to deceive is one's own self." - Edward Bulwer-Lytton

"The first principle is that you must not fool yourself, and you are the easiest person to fool." - Richard Feynman

"Self-deception is a pessimistic definition of optimism." - Theodor Reik

"There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting." - Buddha

"Lying to ourselves is more deeply ingrained than lying to others." - Fyodor Dostoevsky

"We are not deceiving anyone, but we are often deceiving ourselves." - Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

"Nothing is easier than self-deceit. For what each man wishes, that he also believes to be true." - Demosthenes

"The most difficult thing in life is to know yourself." - Thales

"Self-awareness doesn’t stop you from making mistakes, it allows you to learn from them." - Peter Shepherd

Related BYD Episodes

• Redefining Hustle in a Culture That Celebrates Destructive Levels of Busy-ness
• Genuine Positivity vs. Toxic Positivity and the Movement to Criminalize Emotions
• Adopting an Owner's Mentality in Your Own Life
• Fact vs. Fiction: What Is a Growth Mindset, Really?
• Victim vs. Victor Mentality: Knowing + Living the Difference
• How to Set Healthy Expectations that Cultivate Growth, Confidence, + Self-Trust
• The Power of Language: Choosing Your Words to Shape Your Destiny

In this episode, George and I explore the role of humor in our lives and how it can be used to hide old resentments or mask uncomfortable discussions. We reflect on their own dreams and goals and the importance of taking them seriously, as well as the impact of our goals on our lives and the lives of those around them.

The conversation explores the role of humor as a shield and its impact on personal growth and relationships. We discuss how humor can be a diversion, providing emotional relief and social bonding. We also delve into the power of humor to change perspectives, diffuse tension, and challenge authority. 

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Our chat also took an unexpectedly deep turn, as I shared my personal experience of using humor to seek validation and connection, while George reflected on how humor has been both a shield and a sword for him. 

However, humor can also aid in achieving goals by providing emotional relief, reducing stress, enhancing focus and productivity, and strengthening social bonds. Maintaining a balanced use of humor can create an atmosphere conducive to achieving goals and living a life beyond our default.

Topics We Cover

highlights, lowlights, weight loss, goals, humor, dreams, animal spirit cards, humor, shield, diversion, emotional relief, social bonding, perspective change, deflection, empowerment, vulnerability, connection, humor, shield, weapon, distraction, avoidance, procrastination, strain relationships, harm credibility, emotional relief, stress reduction, focus, productivity, social bonds, positive mindset, resilience, team dynamics, enjoyable work environment, morale, motivation, balanced use

Takeaways + Highlights

• Taking goals seriously can lead to personal growth and positive change in one's life.
• Humor can be used as a shield to hide old resentments or uncomfortable discussions.
• Reflecting on dreams and goals can help uncover unfulfilled desires and lead to a more purposeful life.
• Journaling about the prompts from the animal spirit cards can provide valuable insights and self-reflection. Humor can serve as a shield, providing emotional relief and social bonding.
• It can be a diversionary tactic, deflecting attention from deeper emotions or issues.
• Humor has the power to change perspectives and reframe negative situations.
• It can diffuse tension and prevent confrontations, making difficult conversations more manageable.
• Humor can challenge authority and highlight social issues.
• Vulnerability and genuine connection are essential for true understanding and personal growth. Using humor as a shield or weapon can distract us from our goals and undermine our focus.
• Humor can provide emotional relief and reduce stress, enhancing our productivity and resilience.
• Appropriate humor can strengthen social bonds and improve team dynamics.
• Maintaining a balanced use of humor can create a positive and productive work environment.
• Humor can be a valuable tool in achieving our goals and living a fulfilling life.

This week is a different kind of episode. George was hospitalized for almost a week last week unexpectedly due to an inflammation issue with his heart. He's home, healthy, happy, and on the road to recovery with a renewed outlook how he wants to approach life.

But we knew that, this week, we needed to throw out our planned outline for a candid conversation about what he went through, and how many of the topics we've been discussing on Beyond Your Default fortuitously came barreling to the forefront of his experience while he was in the hospital.

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Our conversation, of course, immediately drilled into the topic of rest and how important it is. George went on to share the lessons he learned around self-care — a topic he was previously resistant to — and relinquishing control.

He also discussed the importance of creating space in his life for the things he enjoys and taking control of his own healthcare. George also explored the previously held beliefs he had that were challenged during his hospital stay, such as feeling like he had no space and relying too heavily on medication.

⚡ Go Deeper: How to embrace an owner's mentality in your own life

But he focused on more than just his health and personal aspects of this journey. We also talked about the impact his hospitalization had on his role as a business owner of Sidekick Strategies, and the trust he had in his team to handle things in his absence. 

We also discussed the lessons he hopes our listeners can learn proactively from his experience without having to go through it themselves. While these types of life events can be crystallizing in terms of helping us pivot our mindsets and beliefs in healthy ways, think about how much more you could achieve if you didn't wait for life to stop you in your tracks to see how you need to alter your path.

Topics We Cover

rest, self-care, hospitalization, relinquishing control, trust, business, self-care, health, hospital, inflammation, space, medication, active participant, non-negotiables, reflection

Takeaways + Highlights

• Taking time for rest and self-care is essential for avoiding burnout
• It's important to listen to your body and seek medical help when needed
• Relinquishing control and trusting your team can lead to a sense of peace and allow for personal and professional growth Create space in your life for the things you enjoy and prioritize your own well-being.
• Be an active participant in your own healthcare and make self-care and healthcare non-negotiables.
• Reflect on previously held beliefs and be open to challenging and changing them.
• Ask yourself important questions about your health and well-being before a crisis occurs.

This week, we’re talking about one of the most precious resources we have at our disposal (if not the most precious resource) in our Beyond Your Default journeys, and that is time.

If we were forced to define our relationship with time on Facebook, it would 100% be “it’s complicated.” Too often, we feel at a deficit with time, desperately wanting more of it, and never seeming to have enough of it. In fact, six in 10 Americans say they already don’t have enough time in a day to get everything done.

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On the other extreme, then there are those seasons of waiting for what we want to happen most, and then all we seem to have is time. Excruciating stretches of time where we wait for life to begin. Time also comes under greater scrutiny when you start looking at your life purposefully and saying, “I need to make changes to grow the way I need to.”

Think about the previous topics we’ve discussed where this couldn’t be more apparent:

• Rethinking the time we have at our disposal for a powerful and purposeful morning routine that will help us start our days in the best way possible.
• Why seasons of waiting can kill you, where you curse how much time you have at your disposal if you don’t learn how to re-prioritize the small things in life.
• Being present in this moment in time.
• Or heck, going back to the very beginning of this podcast, understanding the power of timing and how it can impact your life.

⚡ Go Deeper: How to embrace an owner's mentality in your own life

All of these conversations force us to put time back under a microscope. And yes, the conversation around time is a complex one. So in this first episode about time, we’re going to lay the foundation for completely rethinking how we define, think about, and talk about it. Because when you make changes internally around those three areas, you’ll be surprised by what becomes possible.

As William Penn once said, “Time is what we want most, but what we use worst.”

I think it’s time we change that.

In this conversation, George and I discuss the complexities of our respective relationships with time, the feeling of not having enough time, and the excruciating stretches of waiting. We emphasize the need to redefine how we think about and use time, and the impact it has on our past, present, and future. 

⚡ Go Deeper: Victim vs. Victor Mentality: Knowing + Living the Difference

George and I also talk about the importance of mindfulness and energy management in maximizing our time, as well as the idea of living our lives as a story that we write along the way. We also examine the different ways we can define and think about time, and how our relationship with time can shape our well-being.

We end our conversation by delving into the power of language and how the words we use to talk about time can influence our perception and behavior. Finally, George provides practical ways to rethink our relationship with time and make positive changes in our lives.

Topics We Cover

time, relationship with time, gratitude journal, Fast and Furious, waiting, mindfulness, energy management, time, narrative, control, mindset, language, perception, well-being, priorities, reflection, goals, time wasters

Takeaways + Highlights

• Time is a precious resource that impacts all aspects of our lives.
• Our relationship with time can be complicated, with feelings of not having enough time and long stretches of waiting.
• Redefining how we think about and use time can lead to a more fulfilling life.
• Mindfulness and energy management are key to making the most of our time.
• Being aware of the seasons of life and architecting our own story can give purpose to our time. We are the authors of our own lives and have the power to shape our narrative.
• The way we define and think about time can impact our relationship with it.
• The language we use to talk about time can shape our perception and behavior.
• Prioritizing and focusing on essential tasks can help us make the most of our time.
• Reflecting on how we use our time and setting clear goals can lead to personal and professional growth.
• Identifying and minimizing time wasters can free up time for more meaningful activities.

I'll be honest, I was not ready for this episode. So, let's skip the preamble and dig right into our conversation, which is all about the critical importance of learning how to be vulnerable. But what the heck is vulnerability?
We define vulnerability as the courage to face potential emotional exposure, risks, and uncertainty, while still moving forward. 

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In this episode, George and I discuss the importance of vulnerability in your Beyond Your Default journey, and how it can lead to personal and professional growth. We share their own experiences with vulnerability and how it has impacted our lives, for better and for worse. 

Although being vulnerable can be scary—or even rejected as an option due to external pressures—vulnerability is not a sign of weakness, but rather a superpower that allows for genuine connections and authentic living. That's why a large part of this episode is dedicated to debunking hey common misconceptions about vulnerability and highlight its strength and power.

⚡ Go Deeper: How to embrace an owner's mentality in your own life

We examine why people struggle with being vulnerable, particularly men and women, and the societal expectations and conditioning that contribute to this struggle. We also provide practical tips for shifting mindset around vulnerability, such as self-reflection, normalizing conversations about complex feelings, practicing small acts of honesty, reframing vulnerability as a strength, and practicing empathy. 

Finally, we talk about the benefits of vulnerability, including enhanced self-awareness, increased resilience, personal healing, and growth in self-esteem.  We also emphasize the importance of starting small and choosing the right people to share with, and the transformative impact vulnerability can have on personal growth and relationships.

Topics We Cover

vulnerability, personal growth, professional growth, courage, emotional exposure, risks, uncertainty, genuine connections, authentic living, vulnerability, misconceptions, strength, struggle, societal expectations, conditioning, mindset shift, self-reflection, emotional conversations, small acts of honesty, reframing, self-esteem, empathy, benefits

Takeaways + Highlights

• Vulnerability is a superpower that allows for personal and professional growth.
• Embracing vulnerability means being open to both the good and the bad that can come from genuine connections and facing new challenges.
• Vulnerability is about showing up and being seen, no matter the stakes.
• Failure is not a reflection of worth, but a stepping stone to greater knowledge and growth.
• Vulnerability requires the courage to face potential emotional exposure, risks, and uncertainty.
• Vulnerability is not a sign of weakness, but a powerful tool for creating trust, authenticity, and personal success. Vulnerability is often misunderstood and seen as a weakness, but it is actually a strength that requires courage and authenticity.
• Common misconceptions about vulnerability include that it is weakness, oversharing, seeking sympathy, or playing the victim.
• Vulnerability is important for personal and professional growth, deepening connections, and fostering authenticity.
• People struggle with vulnerability due to fear of rejection or judgment, fear of losing control, past trauma or negative experiences, and societal expectations and conditioning.
• Shifting mindset around vulnerability involves self-reflection, normalizing conversations about feelings, practicing small acts of honesty, reframing vulnerability as a strength, and practicing empathy.
• The benefits of vulnerability include enhanced self-awareness, increased resilience, personal healing, growth in self-esteem, deepened emotional bonds, trust-building, improved communication, and mutual support.

Quotes About Vulnerability

“The intention and outcome of vulnerability is trust, intimacy and connection. The outcome of oversharing is distrust, disconnection - and usually a little judgment.” ― Brené Brown

“What happens when people open their hearts?"
"They get better.”

― Haruki Murakami

“We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known, and when we honor the spiritual connection that grows from that offering with trust, respect, kindness and affection. Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them – we can only love others as much as we love ourselves. Shame, blame, disrespect, betrayal, and the withholding of affection damage the roots from which love grows. Love can only survive these injuries if they are acknowledged, healed and rare.” ― Brené Brown

“When we were children, we used to think that when we were grown-up we would no longer be vulnerable. But to grow up is to accept vulnerability... To be alive is to be vulnerable.” ― Madeleine L'Engle

“We cannot selectively numb emotions, when we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions. Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren't always comfortable, but they're never weakness.” ― Brené Brown

If you’ve listened to this show for any length of time, you’ve likely heard us reinforce that George and I are not having these conversations with you from a place of feeling as if we’ve seen it all, learned it all, and conquered it all. Quite the contrary! 

Do we consider ourselves your guides, here to help you along, as you make your way through your own Beyond Your Default journey? Certainly, but we are guides who are making the same journey, as well – faults, failures, lessons learned, and all.

(And if this is your first episode with us, now you know!)

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That’s why, periodically, we take an episode to check in with each other. We ask each other questions about the specific topics we’ve covered on this podcast with you all, and speak honestly about our wins, our struggles, and the surprises we’ve encountered.

The last time we checked in with each other was right before Thanksgiving — that's almost six months ago, if you can believe it. Where were we at mentally and emotionally back then? Let's take a look ... 

For George, his big focus was continuing to cultivate the close and purposeful circles of friends, family members, and others as a means to stay grounded. He also talked about that while you were excited about the future and what it could hold, you were also looking at it with a little dose of fear.

To quote George:

“I want to be careful not to lose myself in this process. And so I'm always kind of like, am I doing too much? Am I doing too little? And again, that anxiety and the need for deep breaths and meditation shows up and I'm like, all right, dude, man, just quit freaking overthinking it and just like, let it be organic, but is organic enough? Then the cycle starts all over again.”

⚡ Go Deeper: What does it really mean to possess a healthy growth mindset?

Personally, I discussed how I was struggling to be more open and trusting with people, but I was getting better at it. I also talked about how self-forgiveness was my primary focus after a challenging year where I made a lot of changes in my life (moving, a divorce, and so on), I made a lot of mistakes, and I was also learning to get to know this new version of me who wanted more and better, in the right ways.

To give you a snapshot of where my head was at, at the time, here’s what I shared:

“I think one of the things that has been the most illuminating is realizing that sometimes I was holding myself accountable for things that I did not need to hold myself accountable for. That I was making myself responsible for the feelings of other people and not understanding that I am not responsible for everything. Because that’s how I was trained to think growing up. I’ve learned that self-forgiveness is hard, but you also have to make sure that you are looking at your life clearly.”

⚡ Go Deeper: How to embrace an owner's mentality in your own life

Since then, we’ve done a lot of life stuff and grown quite a bit. 

We’ve also talked about a ton of new topics since then, including imposter syndrome, being present, finding happiness when all feels lost, seasons of life, our relationship with failure, setting healthy boundaries, toxic morning routine myths, making the choice to embody a victor mentality, anger, growth mindsets, and more. 

So, before we move into our next batch of conversations, we're taking this week to pull back the curtain on our own personal Beyond Your Default journeys. During this episode, I ask George questions about how things have been going since our check-in last November, and he does the same for me. Our hope is that by sharing what this type of committed self-work looks like behind the scenes — the good, the bad, and the downright ugly — that we can make it easier for you to remain motivated and inspired in your journey.

Topics We Cover

Personal growth, vulnerability, self-awareness, mistakes, self-forgiveness, trust, focus, patience, unrealistic expectations, seasons of life, self-care, supportive relationships, change, seasons of life, decision-making, self-perception, self-care, morning routine, boundaries, rest, stability, surprise, anniversary celebration, personal growth, self-care, disconnecting, victim mentality, victor mentality, self-awareness, selfishness, growth mindset, morning routine, and health.

Takeaways + Highlights

• Vulnerability and learning from mistakes are essential for personal growth.
• Self-forgiveness and trusting others can be challenging but necessary for progress.
• Focusing on the right things and consistently doing good leads to positive outcomes.
• Practicing patience and letting go of unrealistic expectations improves well-being.
• Embracing the seasons of life and surrounding oneself with supportive people is important for personal development.
• Self-care and being open to change are crucial for a fulfilling journey. Seasons of life require us to act and make decisions accordingly.
• Being hard on ourselves can hinder our growth and progress.
• Making decisions as the future version of ourselves can lead to greater success.
• Rest and stability are important elements of a healthy morning routine.
• Setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care are ongoing challenges. Disconnecting from technology and taking time for oneself is important for personal well-being.
• Shifting from a victim mentality to a victor mentali...

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Imposter syndrome is a phenomenon that was identified by two female clinical psychologists, Suzanne Imes and Pauline Rose Clance, back in 1978, and it's defined as:

"... the condition of feeling anxious or not experiencing success internally, despite being high-performing in external, objective ways. This condition often results in people feeling like 'a fraud' or 'a phony' and doubting their abilities."

Yikes. By a show of hands, how many of you have ever felt that way in your lives? I know I have ... on many, many occasions. But guess what? Apparently, so did Neil Armstrong! Here's an incredible story from critically acclaimed author Neil Gaiman about his meeting with the first man on the moon:

Wild, right? Clearly, if imposter syndrome is something even the first man on the moon has struggled with, this is something we need to be talking about. Which is exactly what George and I do this week. 

In this episode, George and I discuss imposter syndrome and its impact — and that includes sharing our own personal experiences falling into the imposter syndrome trap. In addition to exploring the root causes and aggravating factors of imposter syndrome, we also talk about the fact that "imposter syndrome" can sometimes mask systemic issues regarding gender inequality and racism. Because sometimes "working on your feelings" isn't really the answer. 

⚡ Go Deeper: What does it really mean to possess a healthy growth mindset?

Later on in our conversation, we emphasize the importance of understanding and overcoming imposter syndrome to unlock authenticity and live a fulfilling life beyond your default. But it's not easy, as we're easily influenced by cultural factors. On top of that, success and recognition can exacerbate feelings of being an imposter. Social media can also both help people feel less alone in their experiences and amplify feelings of imposter syndrome.

Finally, we talk through practical tips and habits for dealing with imposter syndrome include listing your wins, talking about your feelings, changing negative thoughts, and celebrating small victories. Cultivating confidence and kindness for oneself involves treating yourself with kindness, setting achievable goals, practicing mindfulness, and giving back to others. Now, let's get into it.

Topics We Cover

Imposter syndrome, self-doubt, authenticity, growth mindset, overcoming challenges, cultural factors, family pressures, systemic racism, gender inequality, success, recognition, social media, self-reporting, mental health, confidence, kindness, emotional honesty, and toxic positivity.

Takeaways + Highlights

• Imposter syndrome is a condition where individuals feel anxious and doubt their abilities despite external successes or objective assessments of their skills.
• Imposter syndrome is a shared experience and can be pervasive in various aspects of life.
• Understanding and overcoming imposter syndrome is crucial for personal growth and living a fulfilling life.
• High-pressure work environments, social comparison, and the pursuit of perfection can aggravate imposter syndrome.
• Root causes of imposter syndrome include family expectations, academic and professional environments, and personal traits like perfectionism.
• We need to be careful that conversations around this topic can slap an imposter syndrome label on circumstances, systems, and environments that promote inequalities for groups based on their race, gender, sexuality, or other identifiers. Sometimes the answer isn't "work on your feelings of confidence," but rather something needs to change within those spaces to foster genuine equality, diversity, and more.
• Success and recognition can paradoxically increase feelings of being an imposter.
• Social media can both alleviate and amplify feelings of imposter syndrome.
• There is an increase in self-reporting of imposter syndrome, possibly due to a more open conversation about mental health.
• Practical tips for dealing with imposter syndrome include listing your wins, talking about your feelings, changing negative thoughts, and celebrating small victories.
• Cultivating confidence and kindness for oneself involves treating yourself with kindness, setting achievable goals, practicing mindfulness, and giving back to others.

Questions We Discuss

• Why is George specifically so passionate about this topic?
• Why does this conversation matter to our beyond your default journey?
• How have we struggled with imposter syndrome in our lives?
• What do we see as some of the aggravating factors of imposter syndrome or its root causes?
• There’s research showing year over year increases in people reporting they struggle with imposter syndrome. Why is that?
• The two clinical psychologists who coined this phenomenon forcefully state that success does not really “cure” imposter syndrome. What are ways in which we've PERSONALLY experienced or created the alleviation of imposter syndrome for yourself?
• What advice do we have for someone suffering from imposter syndrome, whether we're talking about practical "in the moment" exercises or ways to cultivate confidence and self-compassion in the long run?
• If you could leave our listeners with one challenge as they go into this week to see the brighter, bolder, better side of themselves that you know others see within them with ease?

Man, has there been a topic recently on this podcast where the idea of “being present” hasn’t come up?

We talked about it during our episode about the importance of recognizing and embracing the small things in life. We talked about it last week during our episode on happiness, what it really is and how to find it during times of hopelessness. It also featured prominently in our conversations about fear, acknowledging our seasons of life, weathering the storms in life through stillness, and countless others. 

There is no doubt that being present matters. 

Yet so many struggle with this. To be honest, that includes me.

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Like “just be happy,” “just be present” feels like a deceptively simple concept that so many find to be lingering just out of reach. Like when you tell someone you’re depressed and they’re like, “Oh, well, you can just choose positivity.” Thanks, Gina. That's not a toxic way of thinking at all.

So, that’s what we’re tackling today … what it means to truly be present, how to integrate such a mindset into your life in a way that’s practical, accessible, and sustainable, and so much more.

⚡ Go Deeper: What does it really mean to possess a healthy growth mindset?

During our conversation, we share their personal struggles with being present, including the culture of busyness, technology distractions, stress and worry, and a lack of mindfulness practice. We also discuss the impact of trauma on being present.

We share their strategies for staying grounded in the present, such as going for walks, practicing morning devotions and meditation, and setting boundaries with technology and other people. This part of our talk explores the unavoidable challenges of being present in a fast-paced, technology-driven world.

Finally, we emphasize the importance of being present and offer practical tips and techniques for cultivating mindfulness in daily life. The benefits of being present include deeper connections with others, better focus, personal growth, and a greater appreciation for life's small moments.

Topics We Cover

Being present, mindfulness, living in the moment, culture of busyness, technology distractions, stress and worry, trauma, grounding, setting boundaries, being present, mindfulness, challenges, distractions, pressure, expectations, connections, focus, personal growth, and appreciation.

Takeaways + Highlights

• Being present means living in the moment and engaging fully with the now, both physically and mentally.
• Mindfulness is a broader practice that includes being present and involves a conscious awareness and acceptance of your inner state and thought process.
• The culture of busyness, technology distractions, stress and worry, and a lack of mindfulness practice can all hinder our ability to be present.
• Setting boundaries with technology and other people can help us stay grounded in the present.
• Being present can lead to a greater sense of stability and mental, physical, and emotional well-being. Being present is a hot topic because staying in the moment is tough for most people in our fast-paced, technology-driven world.
• Our minds are natural storytellers and problem solvers, constantly thinking about the past, future, or creating scenarios that may never happen.
• Modern lifestyle and technology make it easy to get distracted and lose focus on the present moment.
• Being present requires facing our feelings and thoughts head-on without distractions, which can be uncomfortable but leads to personal growth.
• Practicing mindfulness and being present can improve relationships, enhance focus, and bring more joy and appreciation to life's small moments.

Questions We Discuss

• When we say “being present,” what specifically are we talking about here? How are we defining it? And what's the difference between being present and mindfulness?
• Do we struggle with being present in the moment currently? If so, how? And how does not being present negatively affect or impact us?
• Do we engage in any practices of mindfulness or present moment grounding? If so, what are they? And how do they positively impact us?
• The conversation around being present is a popular one for a reason – so many people struggle with it. Why do you think that is?
• We've touched upon the importance of being in the present moment in previous episodes to your Beyond Your Default journey, but what do we see as the key benefits to prioritizing a mindful, present moment mindset, no matter how busy you are?
• What are ways in which folks can easily start to embrace a present moment mindset in their daily lives? Whether they are daily or weekly practices, or "break glass in case of emergency" options we love?
• What becomes possible in life and in our personal Beyond Your Default journeys when you prioritize a present moment mindset?

Quotes About Being Present

“If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath.” ― Amit Ray

“Do not ruin today with mourning tomorrow.” ― Catherynne M. Valente

“If it’s over, then don’t let the past screw up the rest of your life.” ― Nicholas Sparks

“The power for creating a better future is contained in the present moment. You create a good future by creating a good present.” — Eckhart Tolle

“Life gives you plenty of time to do whatever you want to do if you stay in the present moment.”
— Deepak Chopra

“There is surely nothing other than the single purpose of the present moment. A man’s whole life is a succession of moment after moment. If one fully understands the present moment, there will be nothing else to do, and nothing else to pursue. Live being true to the single purpose of the moment.”
— Yamamoto Tsunetomo

“Your entire life only happens in this moment. The present moment is life itself. Yet, people live as if the opposite were true and treat the present moment as a stepping stone to the next moment – a means to an end.” — Eckhard Tolle

“The present moment is the only time over which we have dominion.” — Thích Nhất Hạnh

I’m a big fan of data, and I’ll be honest. When I looked up the Google search trends for the term “how to just be happy,” I wasn’t terribly surprised by what I found – a marked increase over the past five to six years. 

Why did I choose this term specifically? Because it's one I've caught myself searching for on multiple occasions over the past few years. I decided to dig a little deeper to see how we're all doing. As it turns out, we're not doing so great. In 2022, a Gallup poll found that happiness among Americans had hit record lows. 

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At first I was surprised, but as I thought about it, the numbers made a lot of sense. We were still wrestling with the long-tail effects of the COVID-19 pandemic. I know back in 2022, I wasn't feeling so hot. I decided to keep digging, because I couldn't help but wonder if those numbers were heavily influenced by the coronavirus "hangover" efforts. 

Well, not really. Just last week, new research came out that showed the United States did not crack the top 20 happiest countries in the world for the first time ever.

Why? There are a lot of reasons, in addition to what we experience as individuals in our own lives. Global events, the pandemic (still), a lack of optimism about the future, increased polarization in politics, and a marked rise in loneliness – particularly among younger generations who have grown up in remote education and work environments. I could go on. 

⚡ Go Deeper: What does it really mean to possess a healthy growth mindset?

Which is why today's conversation is probably the first of many episodes tackling the idea of happiness. What is it really? Why does it feel so out of reach more than ever? What can we learn from each other? Where do we honor our emotions while also working toward brighter tomorrows?

About this this episode

One of the things I love about this show is our willingness to explore the gray and acknowledge the realities of how challenging all aspects of living a life beyond your default really means. For example, as we’ve talked about in the past, it is a choice to embrace a victor mentality in your own life rather than giving into the easy and insidious comfort of feeling like life is happening to you.

On the other hand, the growth mindset community also has a massive problem – toxic positivity, wherein folks are encouraged to dismiss or simply “rise above” complex, negative emotions, when they are entitled to experience and process those emotions in a way that makes sense for them.  

⚡ Go Deeper: What is toxic positivity, and why is it so toxic?

So, in today’s conversation about happiness, you won’t find any false platitudes or dismissive sentiments. Instead, we’re going to dive into the deep end of the beyond your default pool to discuss in a meaningful way what it takes to find and create happiness in an age where hopelessness is becoming more and more common.

Please note, this conversation features sensitive topics regarding mass violence that may be difficult for certain members of our audience.

Takeaways + Highlights

• Happiness is a personal and individual journey that requires self-reflection and understanding. Sometimes it may require moments where you have to acknowledge you're building a life to someone else's standards rather than your own.
• As Americans, we need to be aware of our tendency to lead toward a tunnel-visioned mindset regarding our identity, as well as the sometimes corrosive idea of American exceptionalism. Geographically, it makes sense why we struggle to embrace more global perspectives — about happiness or anything else, for that matter — but it is our responsibility to look at these challenges as a global narrative. And that we should be looking to learn from those who are different from us. We're better together.
• The consumption of news can have a significant impact on one's perception and happiness. However, there are necessary conversations around privilege to be had, related to our ability to disconnect from what the news is. So the idea here is to find the blend that works for you, while maintaining a mindful news of the sources of news you consume and how often.
• Defining happiness and setting personal goals can lead to a more fulfilling and joyful life. But it requires us to be clear on what we consider happiness, without looking to others or pop culture to define what happiness is for us. 
• The journey to happiness involves letting go of baggage, embracing personal growth, and redefining one's relationship with the world. Happiness is a subjective concept that cannot be universally defined.
• Creating something that helps humans be better humans is a fundamental goal.
• Happiness is not dependent on perfection or success.
• Practicing gratitude can cultivate a more joyful and fulfilling life.

Questions We Discuss

• How surprised were we by the data about American levels of happiness?
• Have we struggled with happiness in our own lives? Either due to personal reasons, community issues, or world events?
• What does happiness mean to us? How do we define happiness now, and how has our definition changed over time?
• Is there a universal definition for happiness?
• What do most people get wrong about happiness and what it takes to be happy?
• What are ways in which folks can honor their feelings about the world, or what’s happening in their lives, and also explore ways to find or create happiness in their own lives?
• How do you work through your own moments of hopelessness toward a happier mindset now?
• If you could leave our listeners with one way to challenge themselves about their own relationship with happiness in the coming week, what would it be?

Happiness Quotes

“Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.” ― Abraham Lincoln

“Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.” ― Dalai Lama XIV

“They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, and something to hope for.” ― Tom Bodett

“Take responsibility of your own happiness, never put it in other people’s hands.” ― Roy T. Bennett

George has always been radically honest in these episodes when we talk about topics that evoke feelings of confusion, aversion, or frustration. For example, when I first handed over the outline for our episode on self-care, he admitted that he was unsure about the topic and where it was going — even though he trusted my vision for the conversation.

Now, it’s time for me to pony up and do the same. When George Slacked me early last week (on Tuesday at 3:31 p.m., to be exact) that he wanted to have a conversation about the seasons of life.

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Specifically, he said he wanted to talk about:

“Being comfortable with the understanding that seasons change. Life changes."

As I read those words, I could feel a physical response in my body, and not a particularly pleasant one. Of course, whenever that happens, I've come to realize that my discomfort is a sign that I should lean into whatever is making me feel emotionally chaffed. 

The term “seasons of life” sounds so romantic, gentle, and downright poetic. But the passage of time, the changing of seasons in our own life – when we notice them – can feel jarring, confusing, or even upsetting. That's why this week's conversation was so powerful, even if it did make me squirm in my chair.

⚡ Go Deeper: What does it really mean to possess a healthy growth mindset?

Yes, accepting, navigating, and celebrating our different seasons of life can lead to personal growth and happiness, but doing so is not without its hurdles. So, in this episode, George and I explore the challenges people face in accepting and celebrating the different seasons of life and provide insights on how to shift thinking around this concept.

As we also openly discuss the challenges we've faced in accepting the seasonality of our own lives, we also talk about the benefits of leaning into this discomfort, and what makes this type of thinking so worth it. Remember, so much of this comes down to trusting yourself, so you can make room for new experiences and growth in each season of life.

Takeaways + Highlights

• Life is made up of different seasons, each with its own purpose and lessons.
• Change is constant, and it is important to embrace and learn from each season.
• Struggles and discomfort are often part of the process of growth and transformation.
• Understanding and embracing the seasons of life can lead to personal growth and happiness.
• Challenges in accepting and celebrating seasons of life can arise from a fear of change and a desire for things to stay the same.
• Shifting thinking around seasons of life involves recognizing that change is a normal part of life's rhythm and finding comfort in the knowledge that tough times are temporary.
• Embracing the seasonality of life can bring benefits such as finding joy in the present moment, learning from experiences, staying hopeful, and discovering one's purpose.
• Reflecting on past seasons and the lessons learned can provide insights into personal growth and shape one's identity and direction in life.

Questions We Discuss

• What the heck prompted George to bring up this conversation?
• When we say "seasons of life," what does that really mean? Are there different types of seasons we should be thinking about?
• In what ways have we struggled to either acknowledge or accept this idea of seasons in your life?
• When did your attitude shift about the seasons of life?
• Why do you think others may struggle to accept or celebrate the seasons of life?
• What are ways in which others can shift their thinking around them?
• What are the benefits of embracing this mindset of seasons?
• What is one question you should encourage our listeners to challenge themselves with as they go through this upcoming week?

Letting Go Quotes

"For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven: 2a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; 3a time to kill, and a time to heal; a time to break down, and a time to build up; 4a time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 5a time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing; 6a time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to throw away; 7a time to tear, and a time to sew; a time to keep silence, and a time to speak; 8a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace" (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8)

“Even seasonal situations can bring with them lessons that last a lifetime. If the love doesn’t last, it prepares you for the one that will.” – Mandy Hale

“There is a season for everything under the sun—even when we can’t see the sun.” – Jared Brock

“If you feel stuck, move. You're not a tree.” ― Germany Kent

“Times of suffering will come, use them. To grow into a better version of yourself. Use the dirt to grow flowers. Let the storm water them. Watch them grow in the sunshine." ― Eric Overby

“Spring and summer are the ones that want winter to come the most because spring and summer owe their beauty to winter! Don't be sad when winter comes to your life, those winters will make your spring and summer more beautiful!” ― Mehmet Murat ildan

“In life, we need to go through a naked tree season in order to turn nothingness into meaning.”
― Luis Enrique Cavazos

One of the most liberating, progressive things we can do for ourselves is to let go. Let go of what? Well, it depends on the situation — anger, expectations, the need to be right, the desire for absolute control, the hunger to know every and all outcomes, disappointment, shame, guilt, sadness ... the list goes on.

But even though I think many of us intellectually understand how much benefit there is to letting go, we still struggle to do it. When we're challenged in those emotionally charged moments to let go, sometimes we'll end up clinging tighter to the very thing that is holding us prisoner.

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Sometimes it's because we're afraid.

Of the unknown. Of what will be left (if anything) in the place of whatever we're releasing. There are a thousand little reasons why. In my case, personally, it's a spectrum of reasons. On one end, it's trauma that traps me. On the other end ... well, it's because a guy was super hot. And hotness can go a long way toward corrupting my ability to make smart decisions about my future.

That's why George was so passionate about us addressing this topic. Whether it's the hotness of others, fears, or traumas from our past that keep us holding onto the people, places, and things that no longer serve us, we all deserve a chance to move forward.

⚡ Go Deeper: What Self-Forgiveness Looks Like in Practice + Why It Matters So Much

In this conversation, George and I discuss the challenges of letting go and the reasons why it can be difficult for people to put into practice. We explore the skills needed to let go, as well as the emotional attachments and fear of the unknown that hold people back. We also share personal experiences and examples of letting go in personal and professional life.

Our conversation highlights the importance of self-reflection, acceptance, and future focus in the process of letting go. We examine the benefits of letting go, such as reduced stress, improved relationships, and personal growth. We also look at the consequences of failing to let go, including chronic stress and missed opportunities. Ultimately, our goal in this week's episode is simple — to empower you to remove the roadblocks standing between you and a joyful, fulfilling life.

Takeaways + Highlights

• Letting go is a crucial step in personal development and allows for growth and learning from past experiences.
• By releasing negative emotions and accepting the past, one can find peace, emotional well-being, and focus on the present.
• Letting go frees up mental space, leading to improved mental clarity, focus, and productivity.
• It is important to let go of control and embrace the unknown, as clinging to expectations and trying to predict the future can hinder personal growth and limit potential.
• Letting go creates space for abundance and allows for the things that are meant for us to come into our lives. Letting go can be challenging due to a lack of awareness and skills, emotional attachments, and fear of the unknown.
• Self-reflection, acceptance, and future focus are key in the practice of letting go.

Questions We Discuss

• Why is this conversation important to our collective beyond your default journey?
• When we say "letting go," what does that really mean?
• Why is it important for us to learn to let go?
• Why is it so hard for people to put this into practice, even though we know how valuable it is?
• How have we struggled in the past with letting go?
• When we say "letting go," what don't we mean?
• What does letting go look like in practice?
• What are the benefits of learning how to let go? And what are the consequences?

Letting Go Quotes

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.” ― Steve Maraboli

“Some people believe holding on and hanging in there are signs of great strength. However, there are times when it takes much more strength to know when to let go and then do it.” ― Ann Landers

“Abundance is a process of letting go; that which is empty can receive.” – Bryant H. McGill

“All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.” – Havelock Ellis

“People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.” – Thich Nhat Hanh

One of George's favorite sayings that has really stuck with me is this: “How you do the small things in life is how you do all things.”

Not only is that a powerful maxim we should all think about in the context of our own lives, his statement also got me thinking about the role “small things” should play in our lives.

For example, have you ever found yourself stuck in a "waiting" mindset? What I mean by that is, rather than focusing on and experiencing gratitude for where you are in the present, you find yourself perpetually longing and waiting big, shiny, new things to come along.

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"I'll be happy when I finally have a relationship."

"When I get that new job, everything will be perfect."

"All I need is a new place to live, and then I'll be locked in."

"One day I'll have the life I've always dreamed of, but until then ..."

Looking ahead and planning for the future is key to possessing a growth mindset, but taken to the extreme, we run into problems. Specifically, we fail to recognize that we're living our lives fully and completely right now, while also overlooking the small things that are happening in our lives.

Now, while George's statement and my example of "missing the small things in life" may seem different on the surface, they share a distinct and important commonality. They're both related symptoms of the same larger root problem that many of us suffer from without even realizing it.

While BIG moments and BIG milestones certainly matter, the beauty of life (and often the true measure of our character) are found most often (and in greater abundance) in the "small things."

⚡ Go Deeper: How to Set Healthy Expectations to Cultivate Confidence, + Self-Trust

When I say small things, I want to be clear on what I’m talking about — small things can be small, seemingly insignificant choices, small events that pale in comparison to the milestones or achievements we seek, small actions or activities we engage in every day without thinking. 

Join George and I this week as we devote a big amount of attention to the small things. Together, we explore the concept of how you do small things is how you do all things, and how focusing on the small things can lead to a more fulfilling life. We also discuss the consequences of overlooking small things and the benefits of cultivating a reverence for them, as well as share practical tips for maintaining focus on the small things and appreciating their value.

Small Things Takeaways + Highlights

• Knowing the difference between milestones vs. destinations helps us appreciate the journey, not just where we're trying to go.
• Incorporating mindfulness into daily life can profoundly change how one perceives and experiences the world. By being fully present and engaged, individuals can appreciate the nuances of their experiences, leading to a deeper appreciation of life's small joys and a reduction in stress and anxiety.
• Cultivating a reverence for the small things teaches the value of simplicity, showing that happiness does not always stem from grand achievements or possessions but often from simple, everyday experiences.
• Think about getting a smile from someone you don't know, feeling the sun warm on your face, someone doing something nice for you, taking a quiet minute to yourself, or that happy feeling you get when your favorite song comes on. These small things happen daily, and even though they might seem tiny, they help shape how we feel and go through life.
• Small things matter so much because they accumulate to define the quality of our daily lives. Each small choice or experience, though seemingly inconsequential on its own, contributes to a larger tapestry that shapes our overall well-being and perception of life.
• The little things we do every day without thinking, like brushing our teeth or saying thank you, turn into habits. These habits shape our lives more than we might realize. When we make good small choices, they add up to good habits, which make our lives better.
• Giving our full attention is like a special present we can offer ourselves and the people around us. It means really diving into whatever we're doing or whoever we're talking to, which makes our work better and our connections with others stronger.
• This conversation is really important because it helps us see that life isn't just about the end results but also about how we get there and the experiences we share along the way.

Questions We Discuss

• Why is this conversation important to our collective beyond your default journey?
• “How you do the small things in life is how you do all things.” Where did that come from, and did you always believe that?
• Whether we’re talking about small choices we make or small experiences that seem inconsequential at the time, why do these small things matter so dang much?
• What are the consequences of overlooking or missing the small things?
• Why do we think folks so often overlook the small things?
• Have we ever lost focus on the present day choices and happenings because we were too focused on the future or didn’t realize the power of a present moment?
• How do we maintain presence and focus in the current moment?
• How can people better focus on the small choices and happenings in their lives?

We've been dancing around the topic of self-care for a while now. Because, whether you're talking about understanding the line between genuine helpfulness and destructive self-sacrifice, or setting healthy boundaries for yourself in life and in relationships, self-care looms in the background. 

OK, "self-care looms" sounds more ominous than I intended, but I stand by it. Particularly since, much like our episode about toxic positivity, the conversation about self-care is also chock full of misconceptions, myths, and toxic online portrayals of what it means to get "self-care" right.

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In fact, self-care has become such a confused topic, even George openly admitted during this episode how skeptical he was when I handed over the outline for this week:

"I think why others and me struggle (with self-care) is because we don't have an action plan for it. Many times, we don't understand what it is. When I started to do the research (for this episode), I was like, 'Why are we even talking about this?' Liz, I slacked you and said, 'How do you feel about this topic? Are you excited about it?' I didn't understand what it really was."

Was I upset when he shared this? Absolutely not! 

Because what he and I both discovered is how he is the perfect example of why this self-care conversation is needed. What is self-care? What isn't self-care? Is self-care selfish or indulgent? These are the questions so many of us struggle to answer — heck, even me, and I'm fully on board the self-care train. (Choo-choo!)

⚡ Go Deeper: How to Set Healthy Expectations to Cultivate Confidence, + Self-Trust

Join George and I as we discuss the importance of self-care and the challenges people face in prioritizing it. We also explore the impact of upbringing on self-care practices and the misconceptions surrounding it. We examine the critical differences between self-care and self-indulgence, emphasizing the need for balance. We also share our personal favorite acts of self-care and provide advice for integrating self-care into daily life.

Self-Care Takeaways + Highlights

• Self-care is about nurturing and caring for oneself in order to thrive.
• Understanding and prioritizing self-care requires self-awareness and recognizing the importance of one's own well-being.
• Self-worth plays a significant role in one's ability to prioritize and engage in self-care.
• Guilt and lack of awareness can hinder one's ability to make self-care a priority. Self-care may not have been modeled or explained well during childhood, leading to challenges in prioritizing it.
• Self-care is not about neglecting basic needs or escaping reality; it involves nourishing actions that promote overall well-being.
• Self-care is necessary and not selfish; it is good stewardship of the gift we have to offer others.
• Finding the balance between self-care and self-indulgence requires self-reflection, mindfulness, and moderation.
• Start small, identify enjoyable activities, schedule self-care, and practice self-compassion to integrate it into daily life.

Questions We Discuss

• When we say self-care what do we mean? And why is it so important?
• How would we each describe our current relationships with self-care? Is it something we do well? Where do we struggle? Have we experienced issues with it in the past?
• Why do so many of us struggle to find time for (or create space for) self-care for ourselves?
• What isn't self-care?
• Is self-care selfish? And where do we draw the line between self-care and self-indulgence?
• How has social media negatively impacted our understanding of self-care?
• What advice do we have for folks who struggle to find ways to integrate self-care into their lives?
• Why is our ability to integrate self-care into our own lives so critical to our beyond your default journeys?

Self-Care Resources

• What is self-care? (with examples)
• The truth about self-care myths
• 5 things people get wrong about self-care
• Why self-care isn’t selfish
• Self-care isn’t selfish or superficial

Self-Care Quotes

“I lied and said I was busy.
I was busy;
but not in a way most people understand.

I was busy taking deeper breaths.
I was busy silencing irrational thoughts.
I was busy calming a racing heart.
I was busy telling myself I am okay.

Sometimes, this is my busy -
and I will not apologize for it.”
― Brittin Oakman

“Self-care is never a selfish act - it is simply good stewardship of the only gift I have, the gift I was put on earth to offer others. Anytime we can listen to our true self and give it the care it requires, we do it not only for ourselves, but for the many others whose lives we touch.” ― Parker Palmer

“Just when you feel you have no time to relax, know that this is the moment you most need to make time to relax.” ― Matt Haig

The concept of possessing a servant's heart has its roots in religion, specifically Christianity: "The servant’s heart means to help others in love without expecting something in return, serving in appreciation of the gifts God has already given us." However, embodying a servant's heart ideal is universal, meaning one can lean into this way of life through a wholly secular lens. 

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We are moving beyond those traditional religious connotations for this very reason in this week's episode. The idea of servanthood — of being helpful and genuinely of service to to others — is a core competency that we must all develop in order to live a life that is beyond our default.

Our conversation examines the evolution of a servant's heart, as well as the critical role of self-care and setting boundaries in maintaining a healthy balance. We talk about the potential pitfalls of excessive helpfulness and the need for self-awareness in navigating the complexities of being of service to others — including my personal journey of addressing unhealed people-pleasing tendencies and my inclinations to "keep the peace" in emotionally unstable environments.

George and Liz also discuss the importance of self-awareness and avoiding burnout. We explore examples of genuine helpfulness and the concept of servant leadership, as well as practical steps for taking baby steps towards a more servant-minded life.

Our Favorite Helpfulness Tips

• Regularly check in with yourself to avoid burnout and prioritize self-care.
• Genuine helpfulness involves being proactive, honest, and transparent.
• Servant leadership focuses on the needs of others before considering your own.
• Start with small acts of kindness and active listening to cultivate a servant-minded life.

Questions We Discuss

• When we say "servant's heart" what does that actually mean? Conversely, what isn't a servant's mentality?
• George has made no secret of the fact that his mindset has radically shifted over the years. That he struggled with anger and working through feelings of "but where are my blessings" – when and how did that change?
• Why is helpfulness core to living a life beyond your default?
• How and when do you see "helpfulness" lapse into becoming problematic?
• How do you find a balance between being helpful and knowing when you need to help yourself?
• Where is the line between genuine helpfulness vs. people-pleasing and trauma-born attempts to regulate the emotions of a situation?
• What does genuine helpfulness look like in practice?
• If someone struggles to break out of a default that is more self-focused, how do we encourage someone to take baby steps toward a more servant-minded life?

Last episode, we talked about one of the greatest challenges we all face when we go in search of true personal growth — knowing the difference between genuine optimism and toxic positivity. This week, we're digging into the other insidious extreme that seems to crop up in growth mindset circles, and that's a relentless pursuit of productive, proactive, forward movement at all times. 

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Choosing a course of inaction or stillness is often viewed as a cop out move, steeped in passivity. That's why quotes like, "The only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing," OR "The only man who never makes mistakes is the man who never does anything," from Theodore Roosevelt are so popular. 

Heck, we love those quotes, too. And if you've listened to previous episodes of this show, you know George and I are huge fans of being the proactive architects of our own lives through the adoption of an owner's mentality, making the choice to be the victor instead of the victim, and so on.

Still, we believe in balance. You cannot be moving forward at all times. Not every moment — particularly deeply emotional moments — should be met with brute force productivity. In fact, sometimes the best course of action is inaction. Sometimes the most radical way forward is to choose intentional stillness. 

⚡ Go Deeper: How to Set Healthy Expectations that Cultivate Growth, Confidence, + Self-Trust

In this episode, George and I share personal stories of how we've wrestled to strike that balance between productivity and stillness with profound results.

As George pointed out in our chat:

"Listen in the journey of beyond your default, stillness is not just about physical inactivity. It's a profound mental and emotional practice. It's about stepping out of the autopilot mode of existence and knee-jerk responses, and engaging with life in a way that is more conscious, thoughtful, and authentic."

Over the years, in our own ways, we've learned the hard way that action isn't always the best way forward, as well as what the consequences of failing to embrace moments of stillness truly are. So, join us for this illuminating conversation in which we uncover the power of stillness, of going within in pursuit of peace and personal growth. It's not always easy — that fine line between purposeful inaction and deferential passivity is a fine one — but it's essential.

Questions We Discuss

• Why was George quite literally bouncing with excitement about this episode?
• When have we learned the hard way that action isn't always the best course of action?
• How have we put moments of stillness into practice in our own lives, and what were the results?
• What is the difference between purposeful stillness and immobilized passivity that's going to bite you in the ass later on?
• What are we doing internally during that time of stillness? What purpose does inaction serve for us? Is it a catalyst for an internalized process?
• How do you know when stillness is the right choice?
• When do you know it's time to start taking action again?
• How do you handle it when folks react poorly to your choice to not take action? Where a reaction is wanted from you?
• Why is learning to be still such a critical part of the beyond your default journey?

Toxic positivity is the act of avoiding, suppressing, or rejecting negative emotions or experiences. Here's what's fascinating about toxic positivity though. While verbs like "avoiding," "suppressing," and "rejecting" sound overtly negative, acts toxic positivity are cloaked in — you guessed it — positivity. 

Good vibes only! Everything happens for a reason! You can choose to be happy!  On the surface, these sentiments sound well-intentioned and, well ... positive.

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Good vibes are a good thing. Contextualizing circumstances as part of a greater narrative can offer a new perspective. We do have points in our lives where we need to make the conscious choice to pick ourselves up emotionally and move forward with the mindset of a victor rather than a victim.

However, there is a distinct line between possessing a growth mindset that is healthy and creates space for processing your emotions, and demonizing your emotions (positive and negative) as signs of inherent weakness or irrationality. Unfortunately, this line is becoming more blurry in personal growth, as well as entrepreneurial circles. 

⚡ Go Deeper: How to Set Healthy Expectations that Cultivate Growth, Confidence, + Self-Trust

And that's where our conversation begins. 

In this episode, George and I explore the aggressive push for emotional productivity and the insidious attractiveness of toxic positivity. Our conversation highlights the importance of acknowledging and honoring all emotions, as well as the need for empathy and understanding in supporting others. We also get real about our own struggles with toxic positivity — both as recipients and givers of toxically positive advice.  

Questions We Discuss

• Why is it so important to talk about toxic positivity in the context of personal and professional development?
• What are our personal experiences with toxic positivity?
• Why is there such an aggressive "push" to be 100% productive about our emotions all the time?
• How does toxic positivity manifest in spirituality?
• Where is the line being between toxic positivity, and genuine optimism and adopting a victor mentality?
• Why is it important for us to honor our feelings and emotions?
• How do these challenges manifest in how men and women are expected to handle/suppress their emotions at opposing extremes?
• How would you suggest folks respond to someone if they find themselves in t
• What is possible when we allow ourselves to experience our true feelings and emotions?

Toxic Positivity Resources

• What is toxic positivity and why is it so harmful? (ADAA)
• Toxic positivity at work (Science of People)
• How to handle toxic positivity at work (The Muse)
• A warning for leaders, don't confuse optimism and toxic positivity (Forbes)
• The toll toxic positivity takes on educators (NEA)
• Growth mindset vs. toxic positivity (Elizabeth Gardiner)
• Don't push away your negative emotions (The Atlantic)

Toxic Positivity vs. Genuine Optimism

Quotes About Emotions

"Your intellect may be confused, but your emotions will never lie to you." — Roger Ebert

“Your emotions make you human. Even the unpleasant ones have a purpose. Don't lock them away. If you ignore them, they just get louder and angrier.” ― Sabaa Tahir

“So often we're not allowed to feel upset--even for a minute--without the world rushing us to do something about it. But why can't I feel upset?” ― Allyson Dinneen

"Avoiding negative emotions is like trying to hide in the darkness; face them, and you'll find the light."
— Anita Moorjani

“Hope confronts. It does not ignore pain, agony, or injustice. It is not a saccharine optimism that refuses to see, face, or grapple with the wretchedness of reality. You can't have hope without despair, because hope is a response. Hope is the active conviction that despair will never have the last word.” — Cory Booker

“Contrary to popular belief, there are no negative emotions. There are only emotions that are harder to experience or that cause more distress for certain people. And the more you suppress those emotions, the harder they are to manage.” — Whitney Goodman

Feeling like you've failed at something sucks. But how should you handle and react to that failure? That depends on who you ask. In some of the more toxic positivity-loving pockets of the growth mindset crowd, you may be coached to overlook uncomfortable feelings, because to sit with your feelings is demonstrative of a weak mind who is unable to look at life through an unflinchingly "logical," growth-focused lens. 

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Of course, the other extreme isn't great either. Wallowing in self-pity, lapsing potentially into a victim mentality, and allowing failure to color your ability to move forward is also equally destructive.

As a process-loving gal, I love when there are a simple set of instructions to follow in complex situations — a playbook you can whip out, whatever the case may be, that will guide you through whatever wilderness you find yourself in. Unfortunately, that's not quite how failure works. 

Failures come in all shapes and sizes. In some cases, yes, we made a mistake, and we have to pick ourselves back up and take the lessons we've learned with us as we move forward. In other cases, we may not have failed at all, we just can't see the big picture yet.

⚡ Go Deeper: What It Means to Forgive Others (+ Why It Matters)

Or, we're going to look back on a "failure" as the best thing that ever happened to us. Heck, sometimes we only think we failed because someone told us we did — by their standards. In reality, however, we're doing just fine, and we should be listening to our own compass instead. 

So, this week, George and I dive into the deep end of failure. We share personal stories of failure, discuss the importance of grit and resilience, and talk about the importance of being able to sit with uncomfortable feelings. A great companion episode to this is our conversation about cultivating your ability to practice self-compassion and forgiveness. 

Questions We Discuss

• How did early failures in our lives color how we contextualized failure in our lives?
• How do we define our relationship with failure now?
• Why does failure hurt so much?
• How does the toxic positivity movement play into how some of us try to address our own failures?
• In hindsight, what failures in our lives were actually blessings in disguise?
• How do we handle folks in our lives who will always perceive us as failures, by their standards?
• What do you see as the key differences between folks who are able to bounce back from failures and those who get stuck?
• What's worse than failure? And what would a life completely devoid of failure look like?
• How can someone who struggles with fatalistic or catastrophic thinking work to shift their perspectives on the failures in their own lives?

Essential Companion Episodes

• Victim vs. Victor Mentality: Knowing + Living the Difference
  In the heat of the moment, when anger or fear flashes through our bodies, it can feel easier (healing or cathartic, even!) to point at the world and yell, "Why are you doing this to me?!" 
• Forgiveness, Part II: The Healing Power of Forgiving Ourselves
  Much like other "big life concepts" such as love and happiness, our ability to express and bestow forgiveness to others begins with our ability to find forgiveness and self-compassion within.

Failure Resources

• Why Some People Succeed After Failure When Others Flounder (Northwestern University)
• 7 Ways to Bounce Back Stronger After Failure (Forbes)
• How Do You Bounce Back from Failure? (AskReddit)
• How to Transform Failure into a Positive Experience (NIH)
• Strategies for Learning From Failure (HBR)

Well, we're not talking about ultimatums. We're not talking about avoidance of others. We're not talking about limitations either. Boundaries are a set of personal guidelines or rules you set as a beyond your default-living human to safeguard your well-being and your values.

🌱 Go Deeper: What Is a Growth Mindset, Really? (Fact vs. Fiction)

But why are boundaries so important? What do unhealthy boundaries look like? And how can you tell if you have issues with boundaries in your own life? On this week's episode of Beyond Your Default, George and I pull back the curtain on our own evolving relationships with boundaries over the years to answer these essential life questions and more.

Questions We Discuss

• When we say "boundaries" what are we really talking about? How are boundaries different from ultimatums, avoidance, and limitations?
• What's the difference between internal boundaries and external boundaries?
• Why are boundaries absolutely essential to this journey?
• What are some of the common reasons folks can end up having boundary issues?
• How have George and I struggled with boundaries throughout our lives? Were there any catalyst moments that pushed us to change our approach?
• How can folks tell if boundaries are in issue in their life?
• What does setting healthy boundaries look like?
• Look, sometimes setting boundaries will not always please people — what should those moments tell us?
• What is one question you want to challenge our listeners to think about over the coming week, when it comes to their own boundaries?

Signs You May Have Boundary Issues

• Overcommitting: Regularly taking on more than you can handle or feeling pressured to agree to every request or opportunity.
• Difficulty Making Decisions: Relying excessively on others for decision-making can be a sign of unclear personal boundaries.
• Tolerating Disrespect or Poor Treatment: Continually allowing others to treat you disrespectfully without addressing it.
• Feeling Overwhelmed or Drained: Consistently feeling exhausted or overwhelmed, especially after interactions with others, can indicate poor boundaries.
• Neglecting Self-Care: Consistently putting others' needs before your own to the point where your own well-being suffers.

Morning Routine Resources

• Establishing Effective Personal Boundaries (Vanderbilt Medical)
• Trust, Safety, and Respect (The Importance of Boundaries)
• 8 Signs Someone Has a Problem with Boundaries (Psychology Today)
• Toxic Behaviors: 12 Examples of Unhealthy Boundaries (Psych Central)
• 15 Signs of Unhealthy Boundaries in Relationships (Marriage.com)

• Wake up anywhere between 4 a.m. and 6 a.m.
• NEVER, EVER hit snooze, only people wasting their life away hit snooze
• Workout at home
• Go to the gym
• Do yoga
• Or run three miles
• OR start with a mobility workout and then do a second workout of plyometrics
• Empty the dishwasher
• Do your morning skincare routine
• Complete your daily gratitude journal
• Then, if your faith is a priority, the Bible or pray
• Then complete your morning pages, if you subscribe to The Artist's Way
• Then read for 25 minutes from a book that enriches your mind
• Meditate
• Do positive affirmations in the mirror
• Eat a well-rounded home-cooked breakfast
• Or don't eat anything because you're fasting
• Or make a homemade smoothie with raw vegetables and fruits and vitamins
• Drink 32 ounces of water
• Review your emails and answer anything outstanding
• Make your plan for the day
• But also don't think about work at all, that's your time
• Give yourself a pep talk
• Do something that brings you joy, like reading a book
• Listen to a podcast while sitting under a light therapy lamp
• Take a hot shower
• No, scratch that, take a cold shower
• No, no wait – sit in an ice bath for no more than 15 minutes
• Complete a visualization for manifestation
• Go on a trail hike and watch the sun rise
• Make your bed
• Don't check your social media
• Go forest bathing
• Don't forget your kids! Make them a balanced breakfast and a lunch for school!
• Also, have you meal prepped? Might want to pop that roast in the slow cooker before you leave for your morning commute or move to your home office for the day.

Now, once you complete this to do list, you can start your day!

OK, to be fair no one suggested you should do all of these things before you hit 9 a.m. — and don't get me wrong there are a lot of good ideas on this list. But as we start this new year, with many of us eyeing personal growth and improvement as part of our roadmap going into 2024 (myself included), we need to have a conversation about how out of hand the idea of The Perfect Morning Routine ☀️ has become.

🌱 Go Deeper: What Is a Growth Mindset, Really? (Fact vs. Fiction)

There are so many "absolutely essential" recommendations out there for what we're all supposed to be doing each morning as go-getters who want more out of life than the status quo, it almost feels like we need an extra 24 hours before the sun rises to do everything we're supposed to do.

So, where is the line between a healthy morning routine and a morning routine that is toxic and unrealistic? And how do you make the right choices for your own morning routine? 

Questions We Discuss

• Respectively, what are our current relationships with the idea of a morning routine?
• What do our mornings currently look like, and how do we wish they would change? How have our morning routines evolved and adapted over time?
• What are the good, the bad, and the ugly reasons the growth mindset crowd is so freakin' obsessed with the idea of the perfect morning routine?
• What are the most toxic morning routine recommendations we've seen, and how can you tell the difference between a healthy morning routine idea and one that is toxic?
• How should folks with a growth mindset go about constructing their own morning routine? How can someone know what advice to follow and what advice to ignore?

Key Takeaways

• Morning routines should be personalized and sustainable, rather than following a one-size-fits-all approach. You need to be mindful and purposeful in your choices.
• The obsession with optimizing morning routines can lead to unrealistic expectations and increased stress.
• Designing a morning routine that aligns with personal goals and values is more important than following popular recommendations.
• Morning routines should focus on intentionality, flexibility, and setting oneself up for success.
• Consistency and prioritization are key in creating a morning routine that works for individual needs and lifestyles. Clean and organized spaces can have a significant impact on the quality of morning routines.
• When constructing a morning routine, it is important to personalize it based on individual needs, preferences, and goals.
• Approach mornings with intention and focus on simplicity and sustainability to create a nurturing and adaptable routine.

Morning Routine Resources

• Are these morning routine myths ruining your day (Early to Rise)
• The myth behind morning routines (Forbes)
• Morning routine statistics (Dream Maker)
• More morning routine statistics (Thrive My Way)

Quotes to Inspire Your Mornings

“Every morning you have two choices: continue to sleep with your dreams or wake up and chase them.”
— Unknown

“Meditate five minutes each morning and see it wake up your entire life.” ― Waylon H. Lewis

“Your energy in the morning is a clean slate, and you get a chance each day to build it up the way you want.”
― Mridula Singh

“There is never enough time to do everything, but there is always enough time to do the most important thing. It’s not a matter of time; it’s a matter of desire.” – Nina Yau

“Lose an hour in the morning, and you will spend all day looking for it.” – Richard Whately

“New morning, new moment of miracles.” – Lailah Gifty Akita

“The first hour of the morning is the rudder of the day.” – Henry Ward Beecher

“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive – to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.” – Marcus Aurelius