Behind The Line

Flipping Love Languages Upside Down: Caring & Processing

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 26 Dec 2023 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

**Rate & Review Behind the Line on Apple Podcast – here **

Picking up on last episode, this episode dives deeper into personal applications of The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. Today we look at specific ways to apply love languages to meeting personal needs for building yourself up, interrupting tendencies to tear yourself down, and considerations in processing traumatic experiences and high stress exposure. This episode leans heavy on the episode before, so if you missed it go back and start there!

Take the Love Languages Quiz here!

Episode Challenge:

· What is your love language(s)? How can you imagine applying your love language to how you process trauma/stress? How could you leverage your love language to help you interact with emotional intensity more effectively?

· Consider whether Beating the Breaking Point might be a fit to support you in filling the gaps in your training and enhancing your capacity for resilience in the face of persistent stress (choose the enhanced support experience – it’s worth it!). Learn more here, including what the program includes, our no-risk guarantee, and the high rated feedback from our past students.

Additional Resources:

Register for Beating the Breaking Point, our top-rated self-paced resilience training program tailor made for First Responders and Front Line Workers to protect against (and recover from) Burnout and related concerns (eg. Organizational Stress, Compassion Fatigue and Vicarious Trauma).

Connect, Rate, Review, Subscribe & Share!

Connect with me on Facebook and Instagram, or email me at support@thrive-life.ca. I love hearing from you! Subscribe and share this podcast with those you know. I appreciate every like, rating and review – every single one helps this podcast to be seen by other First Responders & Front Line Workers out there. Help me on my mission to help others just like you to not only survive, but to thrive – both on the job and off.

This podcast is designed for First Responders and Front Line Workers including Law Enforcement (Police, RCMP, Corrections, Probation Officers); Public Safety (Fire Fighters, Community Liaison Officers, Emergency Call-Takers and Dispatchers); Social Services (Social Workers, Community Outreach Workers, Addictions Support Workers, Housing Support Workers, etc.); and Public Health (Nurses, Doctors, Hospital and Health Support Staff) and anyone else who works in high exposure, high risk workplaces. Please help us to help our community heroes by sharing this free resource to those you know in these front line roles.

Flipping Love Languages Upside Down: A New Take on a Classic

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 12 Dec 2023 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

**Rate & Review Behind the Line on Apple Podcast – here **

The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman is one of the go-to books and resources for couples therapists and people seeking to care for each other well. But what if this same principle could go well beyond applications for couples and actually become a staple way that we think about ourselves, our needs, and be used as a tangible tool to build ourselves up and stop tearing ourselves down?? In this episode we are covering the fundamentals of love languages as a concept, and I am offering a new way to think about this classic concept that applies to you with love from you. If it sounds cheesy, think again, this has the potential to be a life-changing gift if you really take it and run with it. Try it, I dare you!

Take the Love Languages Quiz here!

Episode Challenge:

· What is your love language(s)? What kinds of things do others do that you really value and find meaningful in building you up? How do you sometimes engage in ways that use your love language against you to tear you down? How could you use some of the same principles to offer to yourself in ways that build you up, and reduce some of the things that you use against yourself that tear down?

Additional Resources:

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"That's What You Signed Up For": Seeking More Supportive Support

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 28 Nov 2023 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

**Rate & Review Behind the Line on Apple Podcast – here **

I recently had a listener reach out and share about an experience where she was sharing that she had suffered a hard critical incident to a close friend, and the friends response was, “well, that’s what you signed up for.” Last episode I offered my rant-y thoughts on the matter and promised to put together a follow-up episode to offer some alternative ways loved ones can offer support and ways that First Responders & Front Line Helpers can communicate your needs to the people in your life. And here it is! I really hope that this episode offers some tangible tools that will allow you and your loved ones to transform moments that could be felt as dismissive or disconnecting into opportunities for deepened connection, trust and care.

Episode Challenge:

· What are some ways you might adapt the language in some of today’s suggestions to make them your own? Who might you need to try this with?

Additional Resources:

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"That's What You Signed Up For": An Angry Tirade by Lindsay

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 14 Nov 2023 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

**Rate & Review Behind the Line on Apple Podcast – here **

I recently had a listener reach out and share about an experience where she was sharing that she had suffered a hard critical incident to a close friend, and the friends response was, “well, that’s what you signed up for.” …And my response may not have been all the therapeutic, helpful, responsive pieces it could/would/should have been…it may have sounded more like, “just go fuck right off”.

Admittedly, perhaps not my kindest response…but not without some reasons, and I’m sharing them with you today. If you have ever had this response of “this is what you signed up for” as a way of blowing off the validity and significance of what you have faced – this episode is for you. Not only is it for you, it is also for you to share with the ones you love so they know why that line is NOT ok and why it puts you at RISK.

This is probably one of my more rant-y episodes ever, and I will frontload that I swear, so be mindful of listening with child ears present. I will be putting together a follow-up episode that I will try to keep a bit cleaner and will work to offer some alternative ways loved ones can offer support and ways that First Responders & Front Line Helpers can communicate your needs to the people in your life.

Episode Challenge:

· What comes up for you when you hear, “well that’s what you signed up for”? What is your reaction? Do you believe that’s true? What would you say to someone in your life if they said that to you?

Additional Resources:

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Above & Beyond with Patrick Greenhill, Law Enforcement

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 31 Oct 2023 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

**Rate & Review Behind the Line on Apple Podcast – here **

Welcome to our final installment of "Above and Beyond", a series through October spotlighting the efforts of 3 amazing helping professionals who have taken their experiences and sought out ways to use their stories to support others in First Response and Front Line work. Today, I am joined by Patrick Greenhill. Among his accomplishments, Sgt. Greenhill was the Program Coordinator for Safe Passages, an initiative that opened the doors of police agencies as access points to substance abuse treatment services and other necessary ancillary services. The Safe Passages Initiative began in 2016 and has run in 14 Cleveland area police agencies since that time. The program was intended as a model program for public/private community partnerships to address overall community health and wellness. More recently, Patrick has partnered with a team from various backgrounds to develop The 4Rs Path: Emotional Resilience, Mission Readiness, Health Reintegration, and Retention which is focused on both individual and organization health and wellness. The 4Rs Path team is comprised of individuals from varied backgrounds and professional knowledge to include first responders, active-duty military, military veterans, and mindset performance coaches, among others. During this episode, we talk about the desire to help, the hurts from helping, the systems that support (or fail to support), and the hope to heal while remaining committed to the work.

Listen in to our conversation and share it with those you know.

Episode Challenge:

· Reflect on your story within the work you do. What have been some of the wins? What has helped you remain in it?

· Consider whether Beating the Breaking Point might be a fit to support you in filling the gaps in your training and enhancing your capacity for resilience in the face of persistent stress (choose the enhanced support experience – it’s worth it!). Learn more at the link above, including what the program includes, our no-risk guarantee, and the high rated feedback from our past students.

Additional Resources:

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Above & Beyond with Michael Sugrue, retired Law Enforcement

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 17 Oct 2023 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

**Rate & Review Behind the Line on Apple Podcast – here **

Welcome to our second installment of "Above and Beyond", a series through October spotlighting the efforts of 3 amazing helping professionals who have taken their experiences and sought out ways to use their stories to support others in First Response and Front Line work. Today, I am joined by Michael Sugrue, retired law enforcement and co-author of “Relentless Courage: Winning the Battle Against Front Line Trauma”. We talk about the events that led to Michael’s retirement and that inspire his book, co-authored with Shauna ‘Doc’ Springer. We dive into the learnings that have emerged from a career on the front lines, the impacts to family and loved ones, and his efforts to support others in preventing the same lived experience and finding support in the challenges of front line helping professions.

Listen in to our conversation and share it with those you know.

Episode Challenge:

· Reflect on your story within the work you do. What has impacted you? What stories stand out in your mind? If you wrote a book about your experiences, what would stand out to others? How might you share your story with people in your life?

· Consider whether Beating the Breaking Point might be a fit to support you in filling the gaps in your training and enhancing your capacity for resilience in the face of persistent stress (choose the enhanced support experience – it’s worth it!). Learn more at the link above, including what the program includes, our no-risk guarantee, and the high rated feedback from our past students.

Additional Resources:

Follow Michael Sugrue on Instagram and get the book, “Relentless Courage: Winning the Battle Against Front Line Trauma”.

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Above & Beyond with Nathan Kapler, Retired RCMP

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 03 Oct 2023 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

**Rate & Review Behind the Line on Apple Podcast – here **

We're BACK!!!

It has felt like a long but genuinely refreshing break and I am SO excited and grateful to be back in your inbox once again to share about a new season of the Behind the Line podcast, highlighting wellness strategies for hardworking helping professionals. I hope that you have been able to find pockets of calm, joy, silliness and connection over the course of your summertime, and that you and yours are settling into the new rhythms that seem to come with the early fall months. I have been grateful to hear from some of you during our summer break, and know that life never quits, so know that I also see you in your efforts to keep showing up even as life keeps handing you more and harder and heavier.

I will admit that while my summer offered some much needed refreshing, it also afforded me some new perspective that I have mixed feelings about sharing with you. Back in the spring, I was presented with the opportunity to make a big move for my clinical practice. I, alongside my family, decided to purchase a new office space for the clinic I own. It was an intense decision making process that depleted me quite a bit and resulted in the decision to take the summer off from podcasting in an effort to restore and rebuild capacity. It was also with the knowing that while the decision was made, the real rubber-hit-road of the decision would be coming in full force in the fall. We close on the deal in the coming month or so, and will begin a complete build out of the interior space...meaning that I will be continuing care for my full-time caseload of clients, managing our clinic, continuing projects like the podcast and supporting coaching my students inside the Beating the Breaking Point resilience training program, and overseeing the construction of our new expanded office space. Looking ahead to the additional demands on time and energy, I have made the hard but necessary decision to reduce the podcast frequency to bi-weekly. You will still be hearing from me with new episodes every other week, and I want to encourage you to use the alternating "off" weeks to catch up on episodes you may have missed from our last 3 seasons. I am hoping that this pace will allow me to continue bringing you valuable support while allowing me to balance work and life and all the other things!

And that brings us to our very first episode of season 4! For October, we are kicking off a series called "Above and Beyond", spotlighting the efforts of 3 amazing helping professionals who have taken their experiences and sought out ways to use their stories to support others in First Response and Front Line work. Today, I am joined by Nathan Kapler, retired RCMP member and host of the Ten Thirty Three podcast. We do a deep dive into Nate's experience of posttraumatic stress, addiction, recovery, and choosing to use his story to make change and inspire a different roadmap for others in law enforcement. Nate brings insightful, meaningful thoughts that apply to anyone in helping work.

Listen in to our conversation and share it with those you know.

Episode Challenge:

· Reflect on your story within the work you do. What parts stand out to you? How would you tell it to others, like someone considering entering the work? What has shaped you/changed you? How do you intentionally manage/mitigate how the work impacts you?

· Consider whether Beating the Breaking Point might be a fit to support you in filling the gaps in your training and enhancing your capacity for resilience in the face of persistent stress (choose the enhanced support experience – it’s worth it!). Learn more at the link above, including what the program includes, our no-risk guarantee, and the high rated feedback from our past students.

Additional Resources:

Learn more about Nathan Kapler and the Ten Thirty Three podcast at the podcast website, the Instagram page, or listen now on apple podcast or on youtube.

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Wholehearted Helping: Retaining Humanity in Hard Jobs with Dr. Hillary McBride

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 27 Jun 2023 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

**Rate & Review Behind the Line on Apple Podcast – here **

Have you ever felt like to do your job you are sacrificing parts of your soul? Like you have lost parts of your self and your belief in goodness? Front Line jobs demand a lot and expose you to some of the worst moments for people. Beyond the calls, the lack of support from the systems that “support” you can also undermine any sense of ok-ness. Retaining your sense of humanity and goodness and keeping your wholehearted desire for helping intact can be incredibly hard.

Bridging off of last week’s episode, I am honoured to be joined by Dr. Hillary McBride to continue the discussion on wholehearted helping.

Learn more about Hillary’s work here:

https://hillarylmcbride.com/ where you can learn more about her work as a therapist, speaker and the author of “Mothers, Daughters and Body Image”, “Embodiment and Eating Disorders”, and “The Wisdom of Your Body”.

Listen in to our conversation and share it with those you know.

Episode Challenge:

· Reflect on your experience of wholeheartedness in the work. What was the heart that brought you to the work at the start? How is it feeling now? How do you protect your heart? How do you keep being vulnerable with your helping heart?

· Register for Beating the Breaking Point (choose the enhanced support experience – it’s worth it!), my online resilience training program.

Additional Resources:

Check out some of our related episodes…
- Daring Leadership (Season 3, Episodes 34-41)

Connect, Rate, Review, Subscribe & Share!

This podcast is designed for First Responders and Front Line Workers including Law Enforcement (Police, RCMP, Corrections, Probation Officers); Public Safety (Fire Fighters, Community Liaison Officers, Emergency Call-Takers and Dispatchers); Social Services (Social Workers, Community Outreach Workers, Addictions Support Workers, Housing Support Workers, etc.); and Public Health (Nurses, Doctors, Hospital and Health Support Staff) and anyone else who works in high exposure, high risk workplaces. Please help us to help our community heroes by sharing this free resource to those you know in these front line roles.

Wholehearted Helping: Retaining Humanity in Hard Jobs with Jake Khym

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 20 Jun 2023 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

**Rate & Review Behind the Line on Apple Podcast – here **

Today I am joined by Jake Khym to talk about wholehearted helping. Jake is a Catholic leader with over 20 years experience in various religious and therapeutic settings. He has a Masters Degree in Counseling Psychology and a Bachelor of Arts in Theology with a concentration in Catechetics. Jake has worked in adult faith formation, seminarian and priestly formation, trauma therapy, and has had a private counseling practice for over 17 years. Currently, Jake offers human and pastoral formation to religious leaders, is a consultant to various ministries and organizations across North America, offers an annual Men's Retreat in British Columbia, Canada, accompanies male leaders on their journey of faith, and co-hosts two podcasts, Restore the Glory and Way of the Heart. With two children at university, Jake currently lives in Abbotsford, BC with his wife Heather and one of their three children.

Learn more about Jake’s work here:

Life Restoration Ministries - liferestoration.ca (Non-profit charity)

Restore the Glory Podcast - restoretheglorypodcast.com (podcast by two therapists sharing their personal and professional experiences)

Way of the Heart Podcast - wayoftheheartpodcast.com (podcast for men about living an intentional life with God)

Listen in to our conversation and share it.

Episode Challenge:

· Register for Beating the Breaking Point (choose the enhanced support experience – it’s worth it!), my online resilience training program.

Additional Resources:

Check out some of our related episodes…
- Daring Leadership (Season 3, Episodes 34-41)

Connect, Rate, Review, Subscribe & Share!

This podcast is designed for First Responders and Front Line Workers including Law Enforcement (Police, RCMP, Corrections, Probation Officers); Public Safety (Fire Fighters, Community Liaison Officers, Emergency Call-Takers and Dispatchers); Social Services (Social Workers, Community Outreach Workers, Addictions Support Workers, Housing Support Workers, etc.); and Public Health (Nurses, Doctors, Hospital and Health Support Staff) and anyone else who works in high exposure, high risk workplaces. Please help us to help our community heroes by sharing this free resource to those you know in these front line roles.

Blast From The Past: Daring Leadership Part 8

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 13 Jun 2023 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

We are finishing re-sharing a "Blast from the Past" series that I did back in Season 1 of Behind the Line. It was one of my favourite series and I think really important content for those who may have missed it the first time. The series takes a look at Brené Brown's work in her book, Dare to Lead, and discusses applications to helping professions where it is absolutely IMPERATIVE that we improve leadership and systems, because they are hella broken. I hope you'll share this series with your sphere of influence and that together we can make it different...

This episode included some time-based events that have now ended.

…And that’s a wrap! Today’s episode wraps up our series following Brené Brown’s work from her book, Dare to Lead. This episode includes the bits and pieces we skipped over along the way for the sake of time, as well as some thoughts to tie together the concepts from the book with the interviews with T.C. Randall and Jennifer Pound, as well as with general applications in a front line work pace and environment.

Some final thoughts and resources from Brené and Dare to Lead:

Armored Leadership vs. Daring Leadership – check out the list here.

Tools to Give & Receive Feedback – check out “The Engaged Feedback Checklist” here.

Concerns & Applications – I encourage you to listen to hear some of the feedback and concerns I’ve heard from listeners throughout this series and my thoughts on how we work to apply these conceptual level skills to the very real and challenging work on the front lines.

Episode Challenge:

Having listened to this series, what is one step you can take in our workplace to grow in your daring leadership? What are you willing to commit to and how does it align with your values and the leader you want to be? …Remember, “who you are is how you lead.”

Additional Resources:

If you haven’t yet, check out the free Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide to help you self-assess your experiences and exposure to burnout. Use this tool as information as you get honest with yourself about the impacts you have experienced – and start considering telling the story of your resilience as someone who has invested in their own wellness by looking into our Beating the Breaking Point Training Program designed for First Responders and Front Line Workers. You can grab the free indicators checklist here, and learn more about the training program here.

As discussed in todays’ episode, check out Brené Brown’s book Dare to Lead. You may also enjoy some of her other books, including Rising Strong; Braving the Wilderness; and Daring Greatly. These are some of my favourite books for personal development and wellness. She has a couple of other books that are also excellent, but if you’re new to her work, these are the ones I would highly suggest starting with.

Connect, Rate, Review, Subscribe & Share!

Connect with me on Facebook and Instagram, or email me at support@thrive-life.ca. I love hearing from you! Subscribe and share this podcast with those you know. I appreciate every like, rating and review – every single one helps this podcast to be seen by other First Responders & Front Line Workers out there. Help me on my mission to help others just like you to not only survive, but to thrive – both on the job and off.

Blast From The Past: Daring Leadership Part 7

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 06 Jun 2023 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

I am grateful to Jennifer Pound for joining me today. Some of the pieces that stood out to me in our conversation, as it relates to aspects of the system that need to change and tools that daring leaders can work to engage with more intentionally included:

· Limited training around PTSD and mental health related OSI’s, which reduces our ability to self-assess and identify our risks and needs early on in the process. This increases our risk for a greater degree of impact.

· Lack of accessibility to treatment or intervention support in a timely manner. A lack of clarity about the process and the steps to go through. A lack of support in navigating the process and a need for system advocacy for those needing support through the process while managing an OSI.

· Failure to support connection and bridging through the process of being off work with an OSI. This leaves a feeling of being abandoned by the system we have given so much to serve, cultivates resentment that enhances the impact of the OSI and exacerbates symptoms. During these times, we need connection and support and the effort needs to come from within the system, not from those who are struggling to get by while managing an OSI.

· A need for collaboration. Those who know the most about the impacts of the work are those on the front lines engaged in the work. Those in the upper levels of the system need to be open to hearing from others and willing to hear ideas and address needs collaboratively.

Episode Challenge:

Consider these questions: Were you trained in what to look for as it relates to your own mental wellness and work related stress injuries? Do you have a strong understanding of the process and steps if you were to need support within the system that you work? How can you increase your knowledge of these pieces to support your wellness need?

Additional Resources:

You can learn more about Jennifer and her work advocating for First Responders and Front Line Workers by checking out her blog, “Stay On The Line” at fuelforfirstresponders.com. You can also view recent media coverage on CBC, here; and on CTV here.

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Blast From The Past: Daring Leadership Part 6

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 30 May 2023 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

We are continuing to re-share a "Blast from the Past" series that I did back in Season 1 of Behind the Line. It was one of my favourite series and I think really important content for those who may have missed it the first time. The series takes a look at Brené Brown's work in her book, Dare to Lead, and discusses applications to helping professions where it is absolutely IMPERATIVE that we improve leadership and systems, because they are hella broken. I hope you'll share this series with your sphere of influence and that together we can make it different...

I am so thankful to T.C. Randall for joining me today, sharing his experience as an ER Nurse of 14 years now off on medical leave due to work-related PTSD. Our conversation today focuses on the impacts of broken systems to the very real people working to offer services and make a difference to our communities…people exactly like you. We also work to talk about our perspectives around what needs to change and where we can collectively work to transform the system from the inside out.

T.C. Also discusses these topics and more in his book, The View From The Wrong Side Of The Day: A Story About Nursing, PTSD And Other Shenanigans. You can snag a copy of his book here, or get it on your kindle here! Learn more about T.C. by checking out http://www.wrongsideoftheday.com/ and http://www.tcrandall.net/.

Some of my favourite discussion points that emerged during this conversation (where I got RILED UP!) and connected to the practical ways we can work to transform broken systems from the inside out included:

1. Cultural Level Change:

a. Reducing stigma around workplace mental health and wellness (speaking, clarifying, normalizing and supporting that no one comes out unscathed).

b. Increasing efforts toward prevention and early intervention including training staff in how to assess their status and know the next steps (or who to talk to in an effort to find out the next steps).

c. Normalizing support seeking, and clarifying ways to seek support and processes to access the appropriate support readily.

2. Management/Upper Level Change:

a. Changing the tendency toward reactive band-aid solutions, working instead to identify preventative strategies to reduce load and support the greatest investment which is into the wellness of the PEOPLE doing the WORK.

b. Engaging collaboratively (ie. LISTENING MORE THAN TALKING) with staff to understand the pressure points and actively working together to find creative solutions that actually work to solve the problems rather than juggling them.

3. Public Awareness Level Change:

a. Supporting information for the public around reasonable expectations and the challenges facing the parts of the system they may interact with the most.

b. Supporting information for the public around ways to support the system on a broader level as well as the front line staff most directly impacted.

4. Structural Level Change:

a. Making support accessible (with fewer hoops and WAY more clarity around how to navigate the process). This is both a workplace-level challenge as well as a community-access-to-services challenge.

b. More effectively identifying and supporting the levels of the system that add pressure (I loved TC’s comment of the new ER being like a bigger funnel on the same sized hose – if we don’t support the capacity and efficiency of community health as well as in-patient care, making changes to the ER’s capacity does little to reduce wait times, etc. This problem exists in so many ways that are not specific to ER’s and healthcare!).

c. Taking a stance of prevention and early-intervention in all levels of problem solving rather than being in a constant state of reactively putting out fires.

Episode Challenge:

If you haven’t yet, check out our free Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide to help you self-assess your experiences and exposure to burnout. Understanding where you stand is a huge step as we work to be our most effective selves and people, professionals and leaders.

Take some time to consider some of the areas of change we identified in this episode (listed above) and how these fit within your workplace system dynamic. What are the most significant areas that you see needing change, and what are some ways you can start to make inroads?

Additional Resources:

As discussed in todays’ episode, check out T.C. Randall’s book, The View From The Wrong Side Of The Day: A Story About Nursing, PTSD And Other Shenanigans. You can snag a copy of his book here, or get it on your kindle here!

Connected to our series on daring leadership, I also continue to encourage you to grab Brené Brown’s book Dare to Lead. You may also enjoy some of her other books, including

Blast From The Past: Daring Leadership Part 5

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 23 May 2023 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

We are continuing to re-share a "Blast from the Past" series that I did back in Season 1 of Behind the Line. It was one of my favourite series and I think really important content for those who may have missed it the first time. The series takes a look at Brené Brown's work in her book, Dare to Lead, and discusses applications to helping professions where it is absolutely IMPERATIVE that we improve leadership and systems, because they are hella broken. I hope you'll share this series with your sphere of influence and that together we can make it different...

Today’s episode covers the final aspect of daring leadership, following the work of Brené Brown in her book, Dare to Lead: Learning to Rise. This episode is all about how to handle the hard moments, and how to make them more fruitful for individuals and teams. The learning to rise process focuses on three main pieces: the reckoning, the rumble and the revolution.

The reckoning: This is all about awareness – building our own awareness of when we’re stumbling into a problem or hard interactions, cultivating awareness of our emotions and needs, and preparing to rumble. It means getting clear with ourselves and curious with others.

The rumble: This is the process of confronting challenges together – not in a confrontational way, but rather in a collaborative one with shared curiosity and a willingness to acknowledge the stories we are telling ourselves in an effort the seek clarity and to disconfirm our conspiracies and confabulations. This is where we talk about SFD’s (shitty first drafts) and the story rumble process for teams.

Brené identifies three questions we should ask ourselves about our shitty first drafts:

1. What more do I need to learn and understand about the situation?

2. What more do I need to learn and understand about the other people in the story?

3. What more do I need to learn and understand about myself?

The revolution: This is an acknowledgement that participating in daring leadership skills, particularly those around rising, is revolutionary. It is culture shaping and transformative.

During this episode I talked about a couple of Brené’s free online resources related to today’s topic, here they are (you can access these and other free resources from Brené here):

The Story Rumble Process (A Tool for Groups & Teams)

Dare to Lead Read Along Workbook (you can find exercises including the piece I mention about “permission slips” in here)

Episode Challenge:

Notice your SFD’s (shitty first drafts) in various parts of your life and try checking them out with the people in your life. “The story I’m telling myself is…”

Share this podcast with those you know who are in First Response & Front Line Work – emergency response workers, social services workers, healthcare workers, law enforcement workers, community support workers…the list goes on! Help us on our mission to support wellness and sustainability on the front lines.

Additional Resources:

Connect, Rate, Review, Subscribe & Share!

Blast From The Past: Daring Leadership Part 4

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 16 May 2023 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

We are continuing in our series on daring leadership following the work of Brené Brown in her book, Dare to Lead. Today we are focusing on the third area of courageous and daring leadership: BRAVING trust. In this episode we break down the BRAVING acronym for trust and discuss the value and importance of trust in cultivating committed and caring workplace cultures.

Brené and her team have already done the hard work of summarizing the acronym into a beautiful downloadable pdf, and you can find that here under The Braving Inventory. This link also offers access to several other free tools that are connected to her Dare to Lead work.

Episode Challenge:

Take some time to look over the braving inventory and consider your personal areas of strength and areas for growth. Consider your workplace and where these pieces show up in your workplace or fail to show up and consider some steps you can take to model some of these areas of deficit in your workplace.

Consider bringing the braving inventory into your team and open discussion about applications within your team/workplace.

Additional Resources:

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Blast From The Past: Daring Leadership Part 3

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 09 May 2023 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

As we continue our series on daring leadership, following the work of Brené Brown and her book Dare to Lead, today we are talking about living into our values. This is about being able to identify what is important to us and ways to engage in our lives that align with these values.

Too often we fail to reflect on our values and they become background to our daily choices. We go into survival mode, getting through the days and the challenges but lacking intention. Living into our values asks us to get clear on what really matters to us, the core aspects of what we believe matters most. It then means stepping out of survival mode and developing clear intentionality in behaving in ways that reflect these values, even (and especially) when it is unpopular or uncomfortable. To do this Brené outlines three steps:

Step One: We can’t live into values that we can’t name.

You can access a list of values developed by Brené and her team, here (click on the one called List of Values). Use this tool to narrow down one or two values that feel defining of you. Brené instructs that you can ask yourself these three questions to help guide the process (taken from Dare to Lead, 2018):

1. Does this define me?

2. Is this who I am at my best?

3. Is this a filter that I use to make hard decisions?

Step two: taking values from BS to behaviour.

This involves aligning your actions to the values you’ve identified – it’s where rubber meets road. Brené suggests three questions to help clarify these behaviours (taken from Dare to Lead, 2018):

1. What are three behaviours that support your value?

2. What are three slippery behaviours that are outside your value?

3. What’s an example of a time when you were fully living into this value?

Step three: empathy and self compassion, the two most important seats in the arena.

We need to use empathy to be curious listeners through the process of living into our values and allowing others to live into theirs. We need to utilize empathy to bridge between teams who have varying values as well as varying experiences of being in the arena that shape how they show up. We need self-compassion to manage when we fudge things up, to extend ourselves some grace and an assumption of positive intent.

Episode Challenge:

1. Use the List of Values curated by Brené and her team and narrow this down to one or two that feel defining for you. Use the questions above to help the process. If you are in a position of leadership, consider asking those in your team to do the same exercise and discuss the ways your values show up in your work.

2. Work through the “operationalizing” process to identify behaviours that allow you to walk your talk.

3. Consider your stance on operating from an assumption of positive intent. Does this feel easy/obvious to you that people are doing the best they can with what they have, or does it feel improbable/unlikely/rub you the wrong way? If you have someone in your life (work or otherwise) who you are struggling with, what would change about your approach to them/the situation if you were to know with 100% certainty that they are doing the very best they can with what they have right now? Would the situation with them feel different if you were able to know this was true?

If assuming positive intent is difficult for you, and if you struggle with other pieces like perfectionism, lack of self-compassion, etc., look below for additional resources that you may find helpful. I highly recommend all of Brené Brown’s work, although I think my favourite (aside from Dare to Lead) is Rising Strong…possibly because it was the first book of hers that I read and after that I was hooked!

Additional Resources:

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Blast From The Past: Daring Leadership Part 2

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 02 May 2023 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

For the next several weeks I am re-sharing a "Blast from the Past" series that I did back in Season 1 of Behind the Line. It was one of my favourite series and I think really important content for those who may have missed it the first time. The series takes a look at Brené Brown's work in her book, Dare to Lead, and discusses applications to helping professions where it is absolutely IMPERATIVE that we improve leadership and systems, because they are hella broken. I hope you'll share this series with your sphere of influence and that together we can make it different...

Today we are tackling empathy which involves a set of five skills. Together these skills and the act of engaging empathically is a lynchpin piece in the willingness to rumble with vulnerability – which is one of the four components of daring leadership identified by Brené Brown’s research.

During this video we identify the value of empathy lies in our ability to connect in a real and meaningful way with people, who are high value assets within systems and organizations. We need people to bring their best in order to offer the best services and supports to the communities you serve – and we help cultivate their best by offering them leadership that sees, hears, knows and values them as whole people. Empathy is a set of skills that when used together offers space for people to be seen, heard, known and valued – empathy works to see what someone is struggling with through the lens of what they feel about it. It is curious and willing to learn rather than know, and it creates meaningful connection which helps to grow safety, trust, confidence and commitment. Workplace cultures that place high value on their people in offering these pieces have repeatedly shown significant improvement in job satisfaction, reduced burnout and related medical/stress leaves, reduced absences, increased productivity and increased commitment to the job and workplace.

The Five Empathy Skills:

1. To see the world as others see it, also known as perspective taking

2. To be nonjudgmental

3. To understand another person’s feelings (and be able to accurately label feelings – AKA Emotional Intelligence)

4. To communicate your understanding of that person’s feelings

5. Mindfulness

Click here to watch a short video by Brené Brown on the difference between empathy and sympathy/advice giving/etc.

Click here to jump to one of my favourite tools for building feeling fluency – the Feelings Wheel (it’s great, I promise!!).

This episode is the third in a series covering the principles that emerged from Brené Brown’s research and writing. I would highly recommend her book, Dare to Lead, and would encourage you to consider reading along as we cover pieces of it. I generally highly recommend her resources which include podcasts, a Netflix special, a youTube video on empathy and a TedTalk about vulnerability and shame from a number of years ago.

Episode Challenge:

Take some time to think about how you interact with empathy. Maybe it’s something you use all the time, or maybe it’s been a skill you’ve undervalued, ignored or never learned. Take a look at the five empathy skills and notice which areas you could work harder at honing and improving. Consider where you could implement these skills more effectively to cultivate daring leadership and a culture of care within your workplace, as well as within your life outside of work.

Additional Resources:

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Blast From The Past: Daring Leadership Part 1

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 25 Apr 2023 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

Among the many challenges facing First Responders & Front Line Workers, systemic toxic workplace dynamics is a significant factor impacting wellness. Every front line worker I have ever known has identified this as a stressor they experience and has been a significant factor in the decline of worker wellness for far more people than it should be. Today we are talking about these realities, as well as a challenge to raise up a new generation of leaders who are equipped to lead from a place of wellness and with a focus on wellness, with a hope to create change to these toxic systems from the inside out.

In this episode I share some of my own experiences of toxic workplace environments as well as my experience learning about leadership and collaboratively creating an incredible workplace culture that has been life changing for myself and everyone else who works in this space. I also share some pieces that have shaped this – largely emerging from the work of Brené Brown in her book, Dare to Lead. The pieces from her book and quotes identified in today’s episode are below for reference, as is a link to this book and some of her others (they are all phenomenal!).

No matter what role you are in, you are a leader. You shape and influence because you exist within the system. It may be in small ways, but it counts. And what if we connected together and all our small pieces added up even quicker into something totally altering to the status quo of the broken system that continues to break good people.

Drawn from Dare to Lead by Brené Brown (2018, p. 4, 10-12):

Definition of Leadership: “I define a leader as anyone who takes responsibility for finding the potential in people and processes, and who has the courage to develop that potential.”

Her research identifies that there are three pre-requisites at the heart of daring leadership (as outlined in the definition above), and these include:

1. “You can’t get to courage without rumbling with vulnerability. Embrace the suck.”
She then outlines that courage, in this context, involves four key skill sets:
a. Rumbling with vulnerability

b. Living into our values

c. Braving trust

d. Learning to rise
Note: We will be covering these topics in coming episodes.

2. “Self-awareness and self-love matter. Who we are is how we lead.”

No truer words have ever been spoken. “Who we are is how we lead” is exactly why we need to work at investing in ourselves and cultivating our own sustainable wellness plan in order to be able to lead from a place of wellness and in a way that asks others to invest in their own wellness for the sake of organizational wellness and the supports offered down the line to the populations we are serving.

3. “Courage is contagious. To scale daring leadership and build courage in teams and organizations, we have to cultivate a culture in which brave work, tough conversations, and whole hearts are the expectations, and armor is not necessary or rewarded.”

We have to lean into our own courage – which, remember, connects back to being vulnerable – to be able to lead others to do the same. When we can be more real with each other, human with one another, there are more opportunities to connect authentically and work together in ways that can be transformative for all involved.

This episode is the first in a series covering the principles that emerged from Brené Brown’s research and writing. I would highly recommend her book, and would encourage you to consider reading along as we cover pieces of it. I generally highly recommend her resources which include podcasts, a Netflix special, a youTube video on empathy and a TedTalk about vulnerability and shame from a number of years ago.

Episode Challenge:

During the coming week, pay attention to where you have influence within your workplace. How can you anchor to your own wellness and model wellness to others within your workplace? How can you demonstrate care and valuing of others in the ways you wish leadership demonstrated? What would it look like to be vulnerable in ways that would enhance connection and leadership at work? And last but not least, consider sharing the podcast and related tools with others in your workplace – start a community of helpers who are motivated in becoming equipped to really make change to the system, together.

Additional Resources:

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Family of Front Line Heroes: Jackie & Kathy

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 18 Apr 2023 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

Today we are continuing our new series called “Family of Front Line Heroes” where I get the chance to speak with spouses and adult children of front line helpers who will be sharing about their experiences, the challenges they have faced, the joys associated with supporting someone on the front lines, and the needs they see for both front line helpers and the families that love them. My hope is that all of you listening will also encourage your family members to listen in and connect more together around how the job is served not only by you but also by your loved ones vicariously. And I hope that offers opportunities to open new conversations around what is cool, what is hard, and how you might support one another in the midst of it.

I am so excited to share Jackie Brandhorst and Kathy Cantrell with you! I'll admit, this is one of my favourite interviews EVER!

Dr. Brandhorst is an Associate Professor of Management and the director of the Integrative Business Experience (IBE) at the University of Central Missouri. She teaches courses in Business Communication, Management Communication, Management of Organizations, and Strategic Organizational Communication. Brandhorst specializes in organizational communication, employee well-being, and gender and professional identity in workplace contexts. Her research has been published in prestigious journals including NonProfit Leadership and Management, Gender, Work, and Organization, Human Resources Development Review, the Journal of Applied Communication Research, and the Journal of Management Education. She is a member of the National Communication Association and serves on the editorial board for the Journal of Women and Gender in Higher Education.

Kathy Cantrell served as stay-at-home mom and support system to her family for 30 years. She walked the journey of living alongside a career corrections officer while raising kids and navigating all of the challenges of family life.

Listen in to our conversation and share it with your loved one(s).

Episode Challenge:

· Connect with your partner and/or family and start some conversations about their experiences (the good and hard). Learn about their experiences and get curious about how to better know about, care about and support one another.

· Register for Beating the Breaking Point (choose the enhanced support experience – it’s worth it!), my online resilience training program.

Additional Resources:

Learn more about Jackie's work:

"Prison is power: Federal correctional officers, gender, and professional identity work" here
"Constructing barriers to Employee Assistance Program use by federal correctional officers" here

Check out the Prison Officer Podcast by Mike Cantrell, here.

Check out some of our related episodes…
- Front Line Families – Balancing the Cost & the Protection of Connection (S1E3)
- Front Line Families Series (S1E28-31)
- Voices from the Front Lines with Correctional Officer, Mike (S2E47)

Connect, Rate, Review, Subscribe & Share!

This podcast is designed for First Responders and Front Line Workers including Law Enforcement (Police, RCMP, Corrections, Probation Officers); Public Safety (Fire Fighters, Community Liaison Officers, Emergency Call-Takers and Dispatchers); Social Services (Social Workers, Community Outreach Workers, Addictions Support Workers, Housing Support Workers, etc.); and Public Health (Nurses, Doctors, Hospital and Health Support Staff) and anyone else who works in high exposure, high risk workplaces. Please help us to help our community heroes by sharing this free resource to those you know in these front line roles.

Family of Front Line Heroes: Heels & Holster, Kristen

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 11 Apr 2023 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

I am so grateful to be joined today by the Kristen. Kristen has been a police wife for 10 years to her Los Angeles metropolitan police husband. She is a working mom of two boys ages 5 and 7. She started @heelsandholster, a supportive community for police wives in 2021. She is the author of “Heelsandholster: a police wife devotional” available on Amazon. She is known for her funny, relatable short form videos on Instagram, Tik Tok and YouTube. You can also check out her blog, heelsandholster.com.

Listen in to our conversation and share it with your loved one(s).

Episode Challenge:

· Register for Beating the Breaking Point (choose the enhanced support experience – it’s worth it!), my online resilience training program.

Additional Resources:

Learn more about Kristen's work:

HeelsandHolster Blog, here.
HeelsandHolster: a police wife devotional (book), here.
@HeelsandHolster on Facebook, Instagram, Tik Tok & YouTube

Check out some of our related episodes…
- Front Line Families – Balancing the Cost & the Protection of Connection (S1E3)
- Front Line Families Series (S1E28-31)

Connect, Rate, Review, Subscribe & Share!

This podcast is designed for First Responders and Front Line Workers including Law Enforcement (Police, RCMP, Corrections, Probation Officers); Public Safety (Fire Fighters, Community Liaison Officers, Emergency Call-Takers and Dispatchers); Social Services (Social Workers, Community Outreach Workers, Addictions Support Workers, Housing Support Workers, etc.); and Public Health (Nurses, Doctors, Hospital and Health Support Staff) and anyone else who works in high exposure, high risk workplaces. Please help us to help our community heroes by sharing this free resource to those you know in these front line roles.

Family of Front Line Heroes: Proud Police Wife, Rebecca Lynn

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 04 Apr 2023 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

Today we are digging in to a new series called “Family of Front Line Heroes” where I get the chance to speak with spouses and adult children of front line helpers who will be sharing about their experiences, the challenges they have faced, the joys associated with supporting someone on the front lines, and the needs they see for both front line helpers and the families that love them. My hope is that all of you listening will also encourage your family members to listen in and connect more together around how the job is served not only by you but also by your loved ones vicariously. And I hope that offers opportunities to open new conversations around what is cool, what is hard, and how you might support one another in the midst of it.

I am so grateful to be joined today by the lovely Rebecca Lynn. Rebecca Lynn is the founder of Proud Police Wife (.com), a nationally recognized blog, where she provides support, encouragement, education, and resources to law enforcement families. She is also the founder and host of the Annual Police Wife Conference, a virtual conference featuring highly sought after speakers and resources to law enforcement spouses internationally. Rebecca Lynn is the author of The Peacemaker’s Wife, A Journal for Reflection and Encouragement for Police Wives and Girlfriends and Proud Police Wife: 90 Devotions for Women Behind the Badge. She holds a degree in Psychology and Master’s Degree in Education. Rebecca’s husband has been in law enforcement for 14 years and they have three small children.

Listen in to our conversation and share it with your loved one(s).

Episode Challenge:

· Register for Beating the Breaking Point (choose the enhanced support experience – it’s worth it!), my online resilience training program.

Additional Resources:

Learn more about Rebecca Lynn's work:

Proud Police Wife Blog, here.
Proud Police Wife Podcast, here.
The Peacemaker's Wife (book), here.
Proud Police Wife: 90 Devotions for Women Behind the Badge (book), here.
Proud Police Wife on Facebook and Instagram

Check out some of our related episodes…
- Front Line Families – Balancing the Cost & the Protection of Connection (S1E3)
- Front Line Families Series (S1E28-31)

Connect, Rate, Review, Subscribe & Share!

This podcast is designed for First Responders and Front Line Workers including Law Enforcement (Police, RCMP, Corrections, Probation Officers); Public Safety (Fire Fighters, Community Liaison Officers, Emergency Call-Takers and Dispatchers); Social Services (Social Workers, Community Outreach Workers, Addictions Support Workers, Housing Support Workers, etc.); and Public Health (Nurses, Doctors, Hospital and Health Support Staff) and anyone else who works in high exposure, high risk workplaces. Please help us to help our community heroes by sharing this free resource to those you know in these front line roles.

In The Thick of It: Small Steps for Quick Wins Part 4

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 28 Mar 2023 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

I am so glad to have you here and with me today as we wrap up our series on small steps for quick wins. Today I want to share some of the top ways you can use your body to help your brain and support your mental health, wellness and resilience.

Your brain and body are an intertwined system. Your brain offers feedback to your body, and likewise, your body offers feedback to your brain. When we know how the brain and body connect with one another, we can use the body as a tool to access supporting and managing the brain when it gets intense; along with being able to strengthen aspects of our physiological system in an effort to promote capacitates in our mental, emotional and psychological systems.

The tools I want to offer you today are pieces that you can do that use your body as an access point to supporting your brain and its related thinking, feeling, relating, resilience capacities. As with all the things we’ve discussed in this series, the more you can engage these tools with consistency, the more effective they will be and the more effective they will help YOU to be.

- Number 1: heart rate and oxygenation. In recent history, scientists discovered regions of the brain that have ongoing capacities for new cell growth – meaning that the human potential for ongoing neurological growth and connectivity is far more than we ever knew. The regions of the brain that showed the most capacity for new cell growth are uniquely oxygen-rich regions in the brain. What this means is that people with more effective cardiovascular health, are more likely to have promoted cell growth in these parts of the brain, offering them advantages in potential for learning and growth that surpasses people with less effective cardiovascular health.

Now, I started out saying that I wouldn’t make you get a gym membership – and I hold to that promise. I’m not saying you need to become a long distance marathon runner or triathlete…I’m saying that enhancing your cardiovascular health in any way, has a direct benefit for your brain. When you make your heart work, you are training your body to move oxygenated blood through your system. Any activities that get your heart rate up support this goal. You can have a dance party for 3 minutes to your favourite song, take a quick-paced walk on your lunch break, or do 20 jumping jacks.

Beyond offering your brain more oxygen and giving it new opportunities to reach new levels of potential, cardio-based activities also offer a great opportunity to express pent up emotional energy. Stress, fear, anger, and a host of other emotions play out not just emotionally but also physically. There is an energetic component attached to them. We want to shake or hit or cry or growl. Moving our bodies gives a mechanism to channel that energy somewhere and move it through and out rather than keeping it stuck and trapped inside. There was a famous clinician who wrote that “depression is anger turned inward” – when we trap emotional energy in our bodies with no outlet to channel it through, it burns and burdens and transforms into increasingly difficult things to cope with and heal from. Having a mixture of daily movements that support being able to put this energy somewhere can be really valuable in keeping us more emotionally stable. Having a mixture of situational movements we can access when we’re in a moment of particular high energy and need to have somewhere to channel it, is also really valuable. These might not be as big – they may be things like shaking your hands out or doing a quick run on the spot – the goal is to give your body a quick release to help it recalibrate in a given moment. When we are able to engage in activities that give somewhere for the energy to go, we give our bodies a tool to tell our brain that we’re safe and able to manage regulating our selves – and this is how our body gives feedback to our brain, which then help alleviate some of the stress feedback your brain offers back to your body.

- Number 2: muscle tension. When your muscles tense, it sends a feedback alert to your brain that there is something going on worth tensing up for. Your survival-centered brain interprets this as indicating threat must be lurking and further increases muscle tension to keep you at the ready to be responsive to whatever the possible risk might be. As you carry this tension over time, this feedback loop further and further entrenches itself.

Working to intervene at the level of our muscle tension, can send a new piece of information to our brain that the threat has lessened. And our brain can then come down a bit, which allows it to send an alert to your muscles to relax a bit more, and so on and so forth. We can use the exact same feedback loop to our benefit if we can mindfully intervene in it rather than ignore it or unhelpfully feed into it. Engaging in light stretching whenever you notice muscle tension coming up; regularly engaging in yoga or related stretching practices; and using tools like massage, heat and magnesium supplementation can all support building a new feedback loop that helps your brain re-train toward calm. Tools like an electric massager that can sit on a chair, or a foam roller, or an electric heating pad – these can all be used in ways that can support releasing and relaxing muscle tension to offer a new message to your brain about where you’re at.

- Number 3: muscle strength. Your body is constantly offering feedback to your brain. Things like your posture, your capacity to gather a deep breath and related pieces tell your brain something about how you’re doing and what it needs to be doing to keep you safe and ok. Engaging in strengthening activities can support you in a host of ways. I’ll give you an example – when I had my kids my body went through a ton of changes but among them was some significant postural changes. I suddenly lacked a lot of core strength, and was lifting babies, carrying babies, rocking babies, feeding babies…and all of this led to a kind of collapsed posture. I felt tight across my chest from hunching over to nurse or to cradle and my back muscles and core muscles weren’t strong enough to compensate. This collapsed posture impeded my ability to have the same depth of diaphragmatic breath, and led to a lot of other pain, discomfort and tension. All of this served to tell my brain something is wrong, we’re not ok, and so I would feel more anxious and stressed for absolutely no definable reason. I want to see my chiropractor who encouraged me to really focus on strengthening my back muscles to help pull my chest more open and to strengthen my core to help hold up my diaphragm more effectively. That advice was a game changer and made a tremendous difference in the experience I was having in my body as well as my emotional wellness.

So where are you hurting in your body? Where does the tension live? Where are you over compensating? What movements do you engage in regularly that may benefit from some functional mobility work and strengthening?

Beyond this functional movement pieces, strengthening practices also communicate to our brain an affirming sense of readiness and preparedness. Our brain likes when it feels like we are capable and ready to respond to anything. It feels calmed by believing that we are set. When we strengthen our bodies, even in small ways, it sends a signal to our brains that we are a little more prepared to handle something if it came our way than we might have been otherwise. And this lets ou...

In The Thick of It: Small Steps for Quick Wins Part 3

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 21 Mar 2023 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

Continuing our “In the Thick of It: Small Steps for Quick Wins” series, today we are talking about brain building exercises to support resilience.

For the purpose of todays episode, I want you to think of your brain like a muscle. Really, like a group of muscles. Each region of your brain performs different jobs to serve your needs, and much like a muscle, the more one region is used, the stronger it gets.

I’ve used this example before, but it’s been a long time and I think it has a lot of value, so bear with me. Think for a moment about bringing home a big pile of groceries. You go to the trunk of your car, reach in to grab 4 bags at once…which hand do you reach with? Most of us have one arm that we will tend to choose to overburden because it is our stronger arm. Without even thinking about it, we will reach in and grab those bags and haul them into the house using whichever arm our bodies unconsciously prefer as we internally know that it’s stronger and more dependable for this job. It becomes the arm that does the reaching completely unconsciously, it just happens.

If we think about your brain as a group of muscles, we can picture this the same way. When you have something stressful, challenging or heavy come up in your life – what part of your brain is unconsciously reaching to pick it up? What part of your brain is getting strengthened and is being unconsciously trained to do your heavy lifting?

The very real answer for many people, particularly those who work in high stress-related environments, is that their stress center, also known as the limbic system, has gradually and quietly become trained to be the muscle that does the lifting. Because we spend more time in survival responses than a brain was ever intended to spend time in, that muscle has gotten worked and worked and worked and has built itself up to feel really strong. Think of every stressful situation as a heavy weighted bicep curl for that part of your brain. Given your work, you have disproportionate exposure to stressful experiences, and so this part of your brain is doing bicep curls all the time.

What that means is that when something comes up – including not particularly end-of-the-world type things, like finding out your kid has a school project due that you didn’t know about – the part of your brain most likely to react and pick up the situation to run with it, is your stress center. If you have had times where your reaction to something has felt really disproportionate to the situation; or where you’ve felt really anxious or worried about something that is not a big deal; or where you quickly jump to shut down or numb in a scenario that overwhelms you more quickly than it probably should…those are solid indicators that your limbic system is running on overdrive and picking up things it has no business carrying.

So what do we do about it? Well, the goal is to strengthen a complimentary muscle group. If I have overworked my right arm, I probably need to spend some time investing in building up my left arm to try to match and better support the strain I’m putting on my right side. Similarly, if I have an overworked stress center limbic system, I need to invest in building up my executive function center frontal lobe. Your frontal lobe is the counterbalancing force to your limbic system. When the frontal lobe is strong, it helps keep the limbic system in check. The more intentionally we work at strengthening our frontal lobe, the better we can support our limbic system at picking up the things it is meant to pick up, but not the stuff that it’s not meant for.

How do you build up your frontal lobe, you ask? Well, here’s what you need to know about your frontal lobe. Your frontal lobe is the part of your brain responsible for what we call executive function. It is the director of your brain – it is highly reasonable, rational, and systematic. It loves things like language, order and sequencing (like 1 and then 2 and then 3), planning and organizing, grouping, differentiating (like knowing the difference between things), recognizing, labelling, and numbering. When we understand what this part of our brain does, we can work at building in exercises to support strengthening it. Here are some of my favourites:

1. Alphabet game: choose a category like fruits and vegetables, movie titles, actors/actresses, song titles, Disney characters…whatever you’re into…and work it through from A-Z. A, apple, B, banana, C, cantaloupe, D, dragon fruit…and so on and so forth. This exercise involves language, labelling, differentiation and sequencing. It sounds stupid simple to name things in alphabetical order, but it is just hard enough that it puts demand on your frontal lobe, and that’s what we’re looking for.

2. Name as many countries as you can. This activity typically inspires people to use a skill called cognitive mapping which involves thinking in your mind of a map and constructing an idea of where things are located in space. Interestingly, cognitive mapping is a highly frontal lobe task and really puts demand on your frontal lobe. Think of it like adding 10 pounds of weight to your workout. You can equally do variations of this activity where you name all of the streets you would drive on your way to somewhere you go regularly, or the stores you pass.

3. 5-4-3-2-1: name 5 things you see around you, then 5 things you hear, then 5 things you can feel – like touch, not emotion. Then name 4 of each, 3 of each, 2 of each and 1 of each. Try not to name the same things to mix it up and make it harder. Again, we’re asking your brain to engage in labelling, sequencing, grouping and differentiation. All of these are frontal lobe tasks.

These tools are great to use when you are in stress – I often teach these to people who struggle with panic attacks as it forces the brain to recalibrate and redistribute energy to balance out panic and stress responses. That said, they are also great to use more generally as an effort to strengthen proactively. Imagine using this in stress response mode as lifting something in a moment of need; but that would be made way easier if you had done regular lifting and exercise to build up strength before having the moment of need. We want to do the same for your brain – we want to train it in down times, to build it gradually to be more effectively responsive in moments of real need.

Episode Challenge:

· Register for Beating the Breaking Point (choose the enhanced support experience – it’s worth it!), my online resilience training program.

Additional Resources:

Check out some of our related episodes…
- Impacts of Trauma Series (S3E9-13)
- May Mini’s (Quick Tips for Regulation) (S2E35-39)

Connect, Rate, Review, Subscribe & Share!

Connect with me on Facebook and Instagram, or email me at

In the Thick of It: Small Steps for Quick Wins Part 2

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 14 Mar 2023 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

We are coming back to our new series, “In the Thick of It: Small Steps for Quick Wins”. During this series I will be bringing you some of my favourite tools. These are things that are not rocket science, are totally able to be integrated into your life, no matter how crazy and chaotic it is, and that are guaranteed to make a difference if you apply them consistently.

I teased this one a bit at the end of last week’s episode, so you might already know that this week we’re talking about how we tell the story. Last week we talked about Opposite Action, which is a way we can actively engage in doing something different with our trauma experience. Opposite action is practical and tangible – it is about doing different. Today, as we talk about story, we are talking about thinking different and actively participating in shaping the narrative of who we are, how we’re defined, and how we allow our trauma and experiences speak to this in us and about us.

Often, the stories we tell about ourselves and the events that have happened to us and around us, are dictated from the most vulnerable and fearful parts of us. As a result, they tend to be narrated from a place of shame, self-judgement, unreasonably high expectations and so on. We will be likely to see ourselves as the villain – sometimes even twisting stories where we are clearly the victim into stories where that still means it was somehow our fault because we “allowed” bad things to happen to us.

We are storytellers. Our brains are wired this way. Thinking back on human history, we have always told stories and used this as a key tool in passing down information, keeping next generations connected to previous generations. We are constantly telling stories – of ourselves, of others, of our experience.

While we are well versed at telling stories, we are not generally well trained in telling them accurately or completely. It can be a little bit like the telephone game when you’re a kid – the message at the beginning gets warped along the way and distorted into something totally different as it gets passed along. …The same phenomenon happens with stories inside of our own heads. Instead of a message being passed from one person to the next, it’s being passed through multiple filters in your mind. Filters that scan for embarrassment, shame, stupidity, failure, weakness and anything else perceived as necessary to protect you from the parts of you that feel inadequate.

I’ve mentioned many times before on this show that your brain is naturally wired to give higher valuing to negative experiences as these are important for learning and keeping yourself safe. The good things are already good, but the bad things, those we need to pay attention to so we don’t let them continue to happen. As a result of this, the filters in our heads tend to be largely dictated by the negative skews we hold rather than any positive ones, and by default, our brain will run the story of an experience or who it believes us to be through these filters, ultimately popping out a distorted version of a story at the end that is often extremely inaccurate but feels very real and true to the parts inside of us.

The real challenge is that operating from a place of believing that this story is true leads us to acting from belief that we are much like the villains in spiderman. It paints us into a corner, believing that we are destined to be weak, unacceptable, unlovable, helpless, powerless, stupid, and so on. The filters will continue to find confirmation by biasing stories on an ongoing that further reflect these, and we will feel increasingly helpless to the belief that we aren’t enough.

To change the default we have to do a few key things:

1. Notice when your brain is telling a story. Try to catch it in the act.

2. Be aware of your personal classic filters – we all have a few that tend to stand out and be the heavy lifters when telling stories about ourselves.

3. Be intentional about catching the default story and confronting it with context – help your brain learn there is more to the story than what the filters would have it believe.

4. Experiment with telling alternative stories. You don’t have to believe them, but you have to be able to entertain that they are possible, as much as the default narrative might be. For example, one of my filters is stupid, I often judge this of myself due to past experiences. When my feeling is embarrassment and my internal judgement is stupid, I get curious about what else might be happening. And you know what is often a more accurate story? I tried something that felt risky, and it didn’t go perfectly, but it was BRAVE. This story tends to be far more accurate but is harder to tell because it is certainly not the default. It takes intentional effort at interacting with my default systems, and digging beneath the quick and dirty assumptions my brain will jump to.

Episode Challenge:

· Register for Beating the Breaking Point (choose the enhanced support experience – it’s worth it!), my online resilience training program.

Additional Resources:

Check out some of our related episodes…
- Impacts of Trauma Series (S3E9-13)
- May Mini’s (Quick Tips for Regulation) (S2E35-39)

Connect, Rate, Review, Subscribe & Share!

This podcast is designed for First Responders and Front Line Workers including Law Enforcement (Police, RCMP, Corrections, Probation Officers); Public Safety (Fire Fighters, Community Liaison Officers, Emergency Call-Takers and Dispatchers); Social Services (Social Workers, Community Outreach Workers, Addictions Support Workers, Housing Support Workers, etc.); and Public Health (Nurses, Doctors, Hospital and Health Support Staff) and anyone else who works in high exposure, high risk workplaces. Please help us to help our community heroes by sharing this free resource to those you know in these front line roles.

In the Thick of It: Small Steps for Quick Wins Part 1

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 07 Mar 2023 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

During the month of March, we are going to be launching our latest series called “In the Thick of It: Small Steps for Quick Wins”. During this series I will be bringing you some of my favourite tools – things that are not rocket science, are totally able to be integrated into your life, no matter how crazy and chaotic it is, and that are guaranteed to make a difference if you apply them consistently.

Today I want to tell you about one of my all time favourite tools – called Opposite Action. Before I tell you about the tool, let’s talk about when you are going to use it.

The most substantial way we can use this tool is when we are in trauma reactivity. When you experienced something traumatic, you had a response in the moment. It might have been to fight back, to run away, to hold still and wait it out, or to placate the situation to get through it by the skin of your teeth. More commonly we know these responses as fight, flight, freeze and fawn. I’m going to add a response type that many of you in First Response and Front Line Work might actually feel is more appropriate to when you are in work-related crisis situations, and I call it “Hold”. Hold is a weird mix of all of the trauma responses. It’s a little like freeze, because you are staying in the situation. It’s a little like fawn, because you might have to talk someone down or come across like an ally to try to deescalate. It's a little like fight because you may have to take action and engage. And it’s a little like flight because you are on edge and ready to move. When you are the responder in a crisis, your job is to stay. The role is to hold. To run into the fire when everyone else is running away. While this is the job, you are still human within your work and your brain is still firing off all of the natural stress responses, it’s just been trained to background those responses and hold in the moment.

Whatever our response to a trauma-related event might have been, and regardless of whether the trauma is work related or something else, that response becomes imprinted on us and embedded in the wiring around the memory of that experience.

Commonly, the response we had in a moment, is not the response we wish we could have had when we look at it in hindsight. And when it becomes embedded into our systems, it can become the triggered response over and over and over and over again. And that my friends, is crappy. Because each time we repeat this, it becomes further embedded into the wiring AND it starts to generalize not only to that one specific experience, but to others that your brain perceives as sufficiently similar.

Think about it like taking a pen and scraping a line into a wood surface. One time wouldn’t be particularly deep, but if you kept doing it over and over, that divot would get deeper and deeper and become harder to repair. That’s what it’s like when you repeat trauma reactions over time – the neurological connections around it become more and more deeply entrenched.

Now here is where opposite action come in to play – opposite action is like sandpaper. Every time you engage this tool, rather than further entrenching the trauma response you are creating a new neurological pathway, and every time you repeat this you are undermining the trauma reaction pathway. It like taking a piece of sandpaper and running it over that gouge. Slowly but surely, the trench we wore will smooth out and look brand new.

Ok, so how do we use opposite action? Start with these 3 questions:

1. When you think back on the traumatic experience what do you wish you could have done or said in that situation?

2. When the traumatic situation happened, what was your need?

3. When you reflect on your body’s response to the traumatic experience, what would be the opposite of however it was made to feel and respond?

In focusing on these questions and the responses that naturally come in answering them, you will get a sense of what would be a corrective emotional experience. In the moment of a traumatic experience, we lack choice and the freedom to make decisions – something hard is thrust on us without our vote and we are just left to figure it out. But as we continue to live with the impact of that experience, we have choice in how we allow it to continue living within us – in our bodies and in our responses.

Opposite action can show up in specific moments of being triggered, but also in general decisions you make to support yourself being aligned to the kind of person you choose to be. …This will connect a bit to where we’re headed in next weeks’ episode around the story we tell ourselves. If you are a member of the Beating the Breaking Point support experience, my enhanced resilience training program, you will find a worksheet in the training vault that includes and extensive list of examples of opposite actions. If you’re not yet a member – I really encourage you to go check it out – the program includes my signature self-paced online training along with access to a private support community where you can connect with me for support in applying your learning, and our growing training vault with bonus materials to help you continue to grow in your resilience.

Episode Challenge:

· Register for Beating the Breaking Point (choose the enhanced support experience – it’s worth it!), my online resilience training program.

Additional Resources:

Check out some of our related episodes…
- Impacts of Trauma Series (S3E9-13)
- May Mini’s (Quick Tips for Regulation) (S2E35-39)

Connect, Rate, Review, Subscribe & Share!

This podcast is designed for First Responders and Front Line Workers including Law Enforcement (Police, RCMP, Corrections, Probation Officers); Public Safety (Fire Fighters, Community Liaison Officers, Emergency Call-Takers and Dispatchers); Social Services (Social Workers, Community Outreach Workers, Addictions Support Workers, Housing Support Workers, etc.); and Public Health (Nurses, Doctors, Hospital and Health Support Staff) and anyone else who works in high exposure, high risk workplaces. Please help us to help our community heroes by sharing this free resource to those you know in these front line roles.

Normal People Problems: Crisis Response Clutter Management with Simply Organized for You

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 28 Feb 2023 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

As we continue in our “Normal People Problems” series we are diving in to the common challenges of managing a home and the unique and nuanced features of staying organized while working in first response or front line work. I am delighted to be joined by the pair behind Simply Organized For You, Christine & Naddine. These two professional home organizers know their stuff and are sharing their tips for staying on top of things.

Check out Simply Organized For You on their website, or go be soothed by their pretty pictures on Instagram!

Episode Challenge:

· What are some of the challenges you face in managing your home that are impacted by your work? What are some small ways you can work at implementing systems that support feeling more on top of your home?

· Register for Beating the Breaking Point, my online resilience training program.

Additional Resources:

Check out Simply Organized For You on their website, or go be soothed by their pretty pictures on Instagram!

Check out some of our related episodes…

- S1E28-31 Front Line Families Series (especially E29 & E31 on parenting with Heather Toews and single parenting with Maria)

Connect, Rate, Review, Subscribe & Share!

This podcast is designed for First Responders and Front Line Workers including Law Enforcement (Police, RCMP, Corrections, Probation Officers); Public Safety (Fire Fighters, Community Liaison Officers, Emergency Call-Takers and Dispatchers); Social Services (Social Workers, Community Outreach Workers, Addictions Support Workers, Housing Support Workers, etc.); and Public Health (Nurses, Doctors, Hospital and Health Support Staff) and anyone else who works in high exposure, high risk workplaces. Please help us to help our community heroes by sharing this free resource to those you know in these front line roles.

Normal People Problems: First Response Finances with Sandy & Albert

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 21 Feb 2023 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

As we continue in our “Normal People Problems” series we are diving in to the common challenges of mastering money and the unique and nuanced features of finances while working in first response or front line work. I am honoured to be joined by Sandy Yong, author of The Money Master: What They Don’t Teach You About Wealth & Investing, and her husband, Albert Ho, nurse and author of Checkmate: How to Win The Sales Game in Healthcare.

Today we touch on the challenges of saving, maximizing opportunities to build wealth, and being proactive around planning for today and into the future with our finances.

Check out Sandy’s work including her awesome book, The Money Master, here. Learn more about Albert’s work and his book, Checkmate, here. We are honoured to have 2 of each book to offer as a free giveaway thanks to Sandy & Albert – jump over to my social media on Facebook and Instagram and comment on one tip you took away from this episode to earn a chance to win a copy!

Episode Challenge:

· What are some of the challenges you face in financial literacy and financial planning that are impacted by your work? What are some small ways you can make some proactive steps forward?

· Register for Beating the Breaking Point, my online resilience training program.

Additional Resources:

Connect, Rate, Review, Subscribe & Share!

This podcast is designed for First Responders and Front Line Workers including Law Enforcement (Police, RCMP, Corrections, Probation Officers); Public Safety (Fire Fighters, Community Liaison Officers, Emergency Call-Takers and Dispatchers); Social Services (Social Workers, Community Outreach Workers, Addictions Support Workers, Housing Support Workers, etc.); and Public Health (Nurses, Doctors, Hospital and Health Support Staff) and anyone else who works in high exposure, high risk workplaces. Please help us to help our community heroes by sharing this free resource to those you know in these front line roles.

Normal People Problems: Front Line Parenting with Karen

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 14 Feb 2023 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

As we continue in our “Normal People Problems” series we are diving in to the common challenges of parenting and the unique and nuanced features of parenting while working in first response or front line work. I am thrilled to be joined by one of my favourite people on earth, Karen Peters. Karen is a child and family therapist who specializes in parenting support, and she is bringing the goods!

Today we touch on the challenges of shift work, the difficulty of being present at home, the transition from work to home, the impact of calls that impact our sense of safety for our kids, and more.

Check out Karen’s work including her awesome parenting podcast, Parenting in the Trenches, as well as her many free parenting resources available here, and her valuable paid programs included in her Living Room Learning platform, here.

Episode Challenge:

· What are some of the challenges you face in parenting that are impacted by your work? What are some small ways you can work at supporting you while supporting your kiddos?

· Register for Beating the Breaking Point, my online resilience training program.

Additional Resources:

Check out some of our related episodes…

- S1E28-31 Front Line Families Series (especially E29 & E31 on parenting with Heather Toews and single parenting with Maria)

Connect, Rate, Review, Subscribe & Share!

This podcast is designed for First Responders and Front Line Workers including Law Enforcement (Police, RCMP, Corrections, Probation Officers); Public Safety (Fire Fighters, Community Liaison Officers, Emergency Call-Takers and Dispatchers); Social Services (Social Workers, Community Outreach Workers, Addictions Support Workers, Housing Support Workers, etc.); and Public Health (Nurses, Doctors, Hospital and Health Support Staff) and anyone else who works in high exposure, high risk workplaces. Please help us to help our community heroes by sharing this free resource to those you know in these front line roles.

Normal People Problems: Shift Work Nutrition with Raina

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 07 Feb 2023 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

Today I am joined by Raina Beugelink, a registered dietitian who is luckily (and happily) married to a first responder. She’s worked in private practice for almost ten years in weight management and chronic disease management. She feels incredibly passionate about supporting shift workers and first responders increase their energy and improve their health, as she’s seen firsthand the toll it can take on them and their families. She’s worked with police officers, dispatchers, fire fighters, paramedics, heavy equipment operators, physicians, nurses, and other front-line workers use nutrition strategies to fuel their body properly for shift work.

Raina is joining me as we dive into a new series called “Normal People Problems” where we identify common problems plaguing most people (things like nutrition, finances, parenting and home management) and try to tackle them from the angle of understanding and recognizing the additional hurdles faced by those working in First Response and Front Line Work.

During this episode we talk about common challenges in supporting better nutritional choices – like shift work/circadian rhythm; time for prep/planning; stress and the inclination toward junk; workplace cultural norms and more. Raina breaks down some tips and tricks to support better choices with minimal added stress, and offers further solutions through her services and her online program – both of which you can check out here.

Episode Challenge:

· Where are the stumbling blocks for you in supporting better nutritional health? What are some small side steps that could help you make some changes?

· Register for Beating the Breaking Point, my online resilience training program.

Additional Resources:

Check out Raina’s services and program – here’s what she had to share about it:

I felt frustrated by the lack of good, clear, practical strategies for shift work. Everything I saw on shift work nutrition resources included recommendations like: eat healthy at night, exercise, get enough sleep. WE KNOW THAT, but it’s easier said than done. After doing a lot of research, I set out to create a program that would give shift workers a step-by-step approach to fuel their body well for shift work. The Shift Fix is a hybrid of recorded and live teaching and Q&A sessions spanning 12 weeks that covers topics like supporting circadian rhythm, individual chronotype, what to eat, when to eat, caffeine, sleep, and stress management strategies. To learn more, visit www.shiftworknutrition.com or follow on Instagram/Facebook @shift.work.dietitian.

Check out some of our related episodes…

- S2E9-15 Back to Basics Brain Health Series (includes episodes with sleep expert and other amazing professionals)

Connect, Rate, Review, Subscribe & Share!

This podcast is designed for First Responders and Front Line Workers including Law Enforcement (Police, RCMP, Corrections, Probation Officers); Public Safety (Fire Fighters, Community Liaison Officers, Emergency Call-Takers and Dispatchers); Social Services (Social Workers, Community Outreach Workers, Addictions Support Workers, Housing Support Workers, etc.); and Public Health (Nurses, Doctors, Hospital and Health Support Staff) and anyone else who works in high exposure, high risk workplaces. Please help us to help our community heroes by sharing this free resource to those you know in these front line roles.

What To Do When You've "Done" The Work: Reconnecting to the World

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 31 Jan 2023 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

We have been talking about how to know when you have “done” the work of healing from trauma and stress-related concerns. We have touched on what to look for to let you know that you are through the thick of it, as well as what comes next to maintain the gains you’ve worked so hard for. Today, we are focusing in on the last major piece of the puzzle that comes when you have done the hard work of healing. To tell you about it, I am going to quote from Judith Herman’s book, Trauma and Recovery, which is known as one of the foundational works on trauma therapy and from which most trauma therapies are based. In the book, Judith proposes a 3 stage model for treating trauma – stage one involves building safety, which includes coping skills, reducing actual risk, and supporting people in their ability to regulate their emotions and feel safer in themselves. Stage two is about processing, reconciling what has happened to who we see ourselves as. And stage three, is about reconnecting to the world. Now, as we have gone through the process of healing and growing and refining, we are different, and the people we will want and need around us will likely change too. Here is what she says in her opening paragraph about this final stage:

“Having come to terms with the traumatic past, the survivor faces the task of creating a future. She has mourned the old self that the trauma destroyed; now she must develop a new self. Her relationships have been tested and forever changed by the trauma; now she must develop new relationships. The old beliefs that gave meaning to her life have been challenged; now she must find anew a sustaining faith. These are the tasks of the third stage of recovery. In accomplishing this work, the survivor reclaims her world.”

When living in trauma, we are often living in connections that either contributed to perpetrating the trauma, or were salient figures in supporting us to stay the same in our trauma. Especially when trauma started early in life, it has been an embedded part of who we become and the people we bring into our lives only know us as that person. That person who fears conflict and doesn’t tend to stand up for themselves. That person who learned to people please and bends themselves over backwards for others. That person who learned to be a grown up as a kid and hyper-functions making everyone else around them able to take a backseat while they do all the things for everyone.

Even when our trauma comes later in life, we are shaped by it and the relationships we craft and create are invariably shaped by it too. Relationships with people who knew us before our trauma may experience distancing, confusion, hurt around how we’ve been changed. Trust is often damaged. The sense of safety within the relationship is often wounded.

The process of healing brings awareness to how we are in and with ourselves, but also how we are with others…and how they are with us. We start to see places where we need boundaries to protect ourselves from those that routinely hurt us. We start to notice places where we are routinely hurting others. We try on new ways of being and interacting, and sometimes people in our lives embrace this, but often they don’t. They are used to us being the version of self we’ve been, and change feels uncomfortable for them. They can not only struggle to accept new and growing versions of us, but actually be pretty aggressively against it. We start to see how people in our lives are invested in us being less healthy versions of ourselves…because it benefits them. Maybe because we do things for them, maybe because it allows them to feel superior, maybe because they don’t know who they are to us if we aren’t needing them to hold us up or fix us anymore.

For many who have gone through the painful and brave process of healing, the hardest part of the process is realizing that many of the people they are surrounded by contribute to keeping them stuck. Another hard piece is realizing that those who contribute to their health have been hurt by the vicarious impacts of trauma too, and that some of those relationships may have been badly damaged, sometimes beyond repair.

As we move through the process of healing and come out the other side, one of the big jobs ahead of us is figuring out how we carry our newfound selves into relationships. Both existing relationships that will need to adapt to meet our present selves, as well as new relationships that we will want to grow with intentionality to ensure that they serve who we are NOW rather than finding our way back into old patterns. So, what do we need and how do we do this?

1. Take an inventory. Look at who is in your life right now. Take some time to really consider each person. Get curious about your relationship with each one. What are they great at? What do they feed in you? What do you bring to that relationship? Is it valued? Are there unhealthy patterns in this relationship that need to be addressed? Is this a person who is open to addressing and adjusting? You will likely discover some key people who will venture forward with you on this journey. You will also likely discover more people who will not. With this discovery come natural grief, and you need to know that this is ok. We may grieve releasing people that we wish could come with us but who we can’t afford to risk our progress for. We may grieve that some of the people we will choose to remain in contact with will never be the kinds of relationships we wish they were – they may need to be highly and rigidly boundaried to protect me while retaining some level of contact. This is often true of some family ties. We may also grieve that we have gone through the work of healing and now are in the position of having to make some of the decisions – we can know that they are better for us and yet not without loss and pain.

2. Grieve what needs to be grieved. Changes in us invariably lead to changes in our relationships with others. Sometimes for the better and sometimes for the harder. As we become people who clarify our needs, set our boundaries and ask for support, we may discover that not everyone in our lives is as excited to get on board and change with us as we hoped. I often tell clients to prepare for this, to know that it will come, so they aren’t surprised by it. Allow room for grief. Grief needs to be felt. Bottling it only delays it and makes it bigger when we finally let it come out, so make room for it and know that it is ok to have it for awhile.

3. Enhance the relationships that can grow with you. As you inventory and see who is able and willing to grow with you, invest energy into these people and relationships. Be aware of what you bring to these interactions and to work at keeping this in alignment to the person you are choosing to be. Relationships are the easiest breeding ground for going back to old patterns – they tend to trigger us more easily and elicit from us stronger reactions than just about anything else. Some of the key ways to work at enhancing relationships actually begin within you.

a. Being mindful – really setting an intention for interactions and being able to slow things down when they get sticky.

b. Being self-aware – really knowing your needs, your limitations and where your lines are.

c. And being communicative – really having the skills to share what you are noticing, needing and hoping for.
These skills allow us to support healthy relationship. We recognize that people aren’t mind readers, they don’t know what is going on for us, and t...

What To Do When You've "Done" The Work: Retain Resilience

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 24 Jan 2023 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

Today, I want us to talk about resilience, and how we work at retaining the resilience we have cultivated so that we don’t find ourselves in over our heads again. This piggybacks on what we talked about last week – we can’t know what we need to do for resilience if we can’t see the forest for the trees and know what’s going on for us. Awareness is ALWAYS the first and most important step – everything else works from there.

Now, resilience is a word that I find has some cultural impressions and even stigma around. I was actually scrolling through social media recently and a past colleague who I respect and admire, had posted on his page a meme that said something to the effect of “I hope to never be called resilient ever again, don’t praise me for surviving things I had no choice but to survive and pretend that made me stronger.” I get it. Resilience has connotations of meaning things like “bouncing back”, being unaffected by hardship, somehow being stronger than the hardships that hit us. I wish I could tell you where all of that bullshit came from…I blame extreme versions of positive psychology and tendencies toward toxic positivity where being positive is used as a mechanism to retreat from facing what’s hard, calling shit what it is and rather uses positivity to ignore and avoid under the guise of “healthy”. Those definitions of resilience are total crap. And I get to say that because I literally created a training program all about resilience and not once do we talk about “bouncing back” other than to recognize that it’s a lie we’re sold about resilience.

In my training program, Beating the Breaking Point, we actually go into detail defining what resilience is. I start the lesson on resilience with a quote by Leon Megginson that says, “It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.” Hear that? It isn’t about being strong, it’s about being adaptive. Here is the working definition we use in the program to talk about resilience, are you ready?:

“An ability to recover from or adjust to misfortune, stress or change in a way that accepts the truth of the suffering, acknowledges the depth of impact the suffering has (note the tense, the impacts of suffering may be a continuing state to some extent or degree), and seeks to make the suffering and its impacts a meaningful part of our self-narrative.”

In the course we spend time breaking this definition down and if your interest is piqued, I am going to encourage you to find the link in the show notes and check out the training. What I am going to say about it here for our purposes today is that resilience isn’t about bouncing back and being fine, it’s about adapting to what has hit us which includes incorporating the impact it has had into how we think about and know ourselves, and how we choose to carry this forward with us. The meaning-making process we use to engage with the things that happen to us informs our capacity to be resilient. And if you have really engaged in the work of healing, you have already done so much of this.

Healing and processing trauma, stress and other pieces like this involves making meaning of it. It means embodying a story about what happened to us and what we believe that then means about us - who we are as a result of what we’ve been through. If you have worked through processing and healing, you have already developed and embraced resilience as a part of who you are, because you made the uncomfortable choice to work at how you make meaning and considered changing how you made meaning of things that happened to you.

So now, the work after having done the hardest parts of healing, is to keep what you’ve worked so hard to gain. To work at retaining the resilience you fought so hard for. How do we do that? Well…let’s go back to our working definition but from the lens of retaining resilience. To recap, resilience is:

So let’s break it down…

1. An ability to recover from or adjust to misfortune, stress or change in a way that accepts the truth of the suffering. What does this mean for us practically when we’re working to retain the resilience we’ve invested so much into accomplishing? Well, I am actually going to suggest that this breaks down into a few ways and that it’s best to start backward.

a. First, we have to start by being aware of and acknowledging that suffering exists. We’re back to square one from last week, assessing. We have to have our eyes open to what’s going on for us and where we are experiencing suffering. You may not name it suffering, it may be called something else, but if we don’t see it and name it, we can’t do anything with it and we’re back to ignoring or avoiding until it builds up enough to bite us in the ass.

b. Second, we have to be honest about the suffering. This means telling a full story about what is going on for us, not just the easiest or default version of the story. Here’s an example, when my husband and I get in a disagreement, I can tell a story about how he’s a jerk…or I can step back and be aware that I haven’t been sleeping well lately, I’ve been feeling more on edge and am probably more sensitive to him. While he may still be a jerk, I can also own that I am contributing to some amount of the suffering I’m experiencing by not supporting my needs more effectively. It’s not an either/or, it’s working at describing the fullness of what’s happening.

c. And third, we have to accept this as the starting point. To recover from something, we have to own that it is what it is.

2. Let’s tackle the next part of the definition: Resilience acknowledges the depth of impact the suffering has. Resilience doesn’t just pay lip service to what is happening, it looks closely at the impact that is playing out in and around me. It works to recognize the impact in the past, present and what I may carry forward into the future. When you have done work on processing your experiences and you are working to retain resilience, this is about continuing to acknowledge the ongoing impacts some of your experiences may have on you. I have shared before a story from my childhood about a teacher who yelled at me and told me I was stupid and would never amount to anything. The impacts of this have been far reaching in my life, in hard ways that impacted my self-esteem and confidence for a long time and undermined my sense of my own intelligence, but also in ways that pushed me to prove otherwise – leading to a Master’s degree that I am grateful for. To this day I have moments where her voice creeps into my head. They are often in really silly moments and the feeling connected to it is usually embarrassment and shame. I am familiar with them and can often see them coming. While I have done the work of healing my trauma around this experience, it doesn’t erase that it happened or completely nullify all of the impacts. That said, when it shows up, now instead of becoming embroiled in the impacts, feeling the complete depth of embarrassment or shame, I can usually giggle at it. I’ll say things to myself like, “hey you, I see you there, I know what you’re about. I can understand why that’s coming up right now, but we’re ok, we don’t have to go to that place, we get to...

What To Do When You've "Done" The Work: Assess & Adjust

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 17 Jan 2023 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

The last couple of episodes we established some of the things to look for to help guide you in knowing where you are at in the process of healing. To get here you’ve put in a ton of work, and I’m sure that it has not been easy. But, now what??

The primary focus is to stay on top of things and to maintain all you’ve worked so hard to accomplish. How do you do that? Well, this may sound too simple, but the answer is this: assess and adjust.

Let’s start with assess. One of the reasons that people wind up in burnout, traumatic stress responses and other stress-related challenges, is because they let things that were too big go for too long without recognizing them for what they were and doing something effective about them. When we avoid, ignore, and leave things too long, pretending that we’re “fine”, we make it all so much worse. Now, I want to be clear that I don’t think people generally purposefully neglect their trauma thinking that it will magically get better. I do think that people generally have no idea what they should be looking for to help them know that’s what they are dealing with AND I think that people generally get so caught up in the daily demands of life that they legitimately miss noticing how bad things are getting until it’s SO bad that it stops them in their tracks.

I also think that our trauma is not just made up of the big stuff alone. It can be an additive effect where big and small things pile on top of each other, so gradually and progressively, that we don’t fully notice it until the pile becomes smothering. It isn’t as straightforward as that really traumatic call – it’s often childhood experiences, mixed with marital stress, financial uncertainty, parenting stress, and then on top of that add the work-related exposure to traumatic material…and then on top of THAT, add the toxic and often dysfunctional organizational systems within which we are not sufficiently supported to face what you tend to face. And then there’s the jerk in the grocery store parking lot, and the mean mom at your kids school, and the boss you can’t stand…it is an amalgamation of these big and small offenses, difficulties and traumas that shape our experience in nuanced ways until we realize that they have completely eroded our sense of self and stability within our own existence.

If you have done the work of healing, or are in the process of that work, you’ll know that some of the greatest discomfort comes in the reckoning. For many of my clients the hardest part of their work will be the effort at becoming aware of their own shit. Stopping and really looking at it. No longer ignoring it, avoiding it and passing it off like it’s normal and fine and the same as what everyone else is dealing with. To see it for what it is, is uncomfortable, to the point of distressing sometimes. Naming it and recognizing that it’s worse than we’ve given it credit for is unsettling. And yet, if we can’t see it and name it and know what it is, then we can’t ever do work to interact with it.

So in doing the work, we carry with us this newfound capacity to call a spade a spade. We have done the very uncomfortable work of peeling back the layers and looking at each and every one of them with new eyes. We have developed tools like awareness, mindfulness, self-compassion and boundaries, to support us in carrying this forward. And that is a key part of where we need to focus our time and our attention once we have done the bulk of our healing work. …Because life won’t stop life-ing. It will continue to throw new things at you, and it will be tempting to fall back into old habits of ignoring and avoiding and pretending it’s all good. If we don’t want to find ourselves right back where we started, we have to change how we approach the whole process.

So here is what you can be working on investing in: schedule 2 types of check-ins. First, a daily check in. I know this might sound like a lot, but doing this will cost you less time, energy and frankly money than if you find yourself having to return to intensive therapy down the road! On a daily basis, have a time where you sit and reflect on your day and how you felt in it. What went well? What felt life-giving? Where did you shine? Who showed up for you? What was challenging? Did you rise to the challenge(s) or are there learnings around how you would want to approach those differently a next time? What was hard or uncomfortable? What did you do with the hard or uncomfortable and how do you feel about how you handled that? Where was your mood at and what contributed to shaping that? What did you do to help shape it? …While this might sound like a lot of questions, you should be able to do this in about 7-10 minutes, which I am almost certain you can afford to carve out the time for. Oh, and yes, all of these questions will be in the show notes for you to reference.

The next type of check-in I want you to schedule is bi-monthly (so every other month). I want you to print off our Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide and complete it. Notice where you’re at, and use the triage guide as a roadmap to help you stay aligned in using skills that keep you well. Keep your completed checklist! Find a pretty binder or cool folder to store these, and each time you do one, compare it to the one or ones before. Notice patterns, as well as any changes that indicate worsening symptoms. Use the guide to help map out tools to support you in staying on track, or getting back on track if you’ve been veering off of them.

This brings us to “Adjust”. Assessing involves awareness and making the time to see the forest for the trees so we don’t ignore and passively avoid. Adjusting takes the information we glean from our self-assessing and considers what we need to keep ourselves in a place that feels aligned with our goals and connected to the people we have worked so hard to be.

Adjusting doesn’t have to look like big sweeping changes. More often than not, it’s about small tweaks. But it all starts with seeing where we’re at risk so we can be effective and accurate in making tweaks that actually serve the needs we have rather than just throwing a ton of shit at the wall and hoping something sticks. Here’s an example – my daily and bi-monthly assessments might indicate that I’m feeling more tense and burnt out, and I am aware that I have been giving a lot and not taking time for myself to have quiet time alone, which I find to be rejuvenating. Seeing the problem clearly, and the needs that are connected to this, I can make some small adjustments that can start moving me in a better direction. Things like waking up 15-20 minutes earlier to have some quiet time with my coffee and a book in the mornings has actually honestly been a valuable part of my journey. It’s not huge, it doesn’t demand much from me, and it gives back in disproportionate ways. To make this tweak, a couple other tweaks also had to happen – my nighttime routine had to adjust a bit to be able to get enough sleep to not begrudge this earlier waking up – but with that, it feels so much better than resenting everyone for taking up time and energy and never getting my own need for time alone met.

Adjusting can look like changes and adaptations to your self-care. Maybe you need a bit more time for self-care, maybe you need to adjust some self-care that used to work but isn’t meeting the need anymore, maybe you need to adjust the heart you are bringing to your self-caring actions. Adjusting can also look like changes and adaptations to your boundaries. Maybe you need to practice stronger boundaries with someone in your life. Maybe you need to hold s...

What To Do When You've "Done" The Work: How To Know (Part Two)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 10 Jan 2023 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

If you missed the intro to our latest series last week, here’s a quick recap:

Based on listener feedback, we received a request to talk about how to know when you’re done the work of trauma processing, and what to do once you have “done” the work of therapy or healing. If you missed last week, you’ll want to be sure to go back and start there as it was part one of a two-part intro around how to know when you’re done the work – and today’s episode follows closely as part two.

I gave you 3 things last week including:

1. You are not ignoring, avoiding and distracting a substantial amount of the time.

2. Coping feels established and stable. And

3. We are aware of our common triggers, the feeling of being triggered, and have a tool kit to support us.

Carrying on from there, here’s what you can look for:

4. You are noticing that you are generally experiencing more good days than not, or that you are better able to hold the tension that a day is not defined wholly by negative experiences. I remember one of the most profound things I have heard someone say was in a class I took on addictions. Our professor brought in two men who were recovering addicts and one of them said this thing that I wrote down and reflect on often. He said, “I learned that I can’t let a bad minute turn into a bad hour, turn into a bad day, turn into a bad week, and so on.” What he was talking about was the slippery slope that our brain can be when something hard or perceived as bad happens to us or around us – if we aren’t careful of our mindset or allow our stress center to take that ball and run with it, it will run down a path that says that everything is ruined. The whole day is bad, maybe even the week…maybe even my life. When trauma and stress are telling our story, they tell it from this kind of lens. As we heal, we start to discover pockets of curiosity where maybe not everything is terrible all of the time; maybe I’m not terrible all of the time. We start to hold newfound tensions, that hard things can happen, and that I can also be ok. That we can allow our minutes and hours and days and so on to be defined not only by my perception of hardship, but also by my perception of goodness. As we heal, it’s a bit like a horse wearing blinders – the blinders start to open up and gradually come off – allowing us to not just see what’s straight ahead of us, but far more context and periphery. We get exposure to not just the stressful thing before us, but have access to the care we experience, the connection to hope, the memories of fun – and together this offers us a more well-rounded and accurate experience of the world within which we exist.

5. Problems are more present tense than past. If you are a loyal listener of this show, you’ll know that the part of your brain that manages stress and trauma responses doesn’t have a clock. What that means is that it experiences ALL stress and trauma as if it’s occurring in the present moment – even when we’re recalling events long since over and done with. Last week I quickly summarized that the process of healing from trauma and stress concerns involves helping our brain to relocate stress-related memories to the parts of your brain that are meant to hold and contain contextualized memory recall. As we do this, our experiences begin to feel old, distant, a bit faded, and contextualized within the time and conditions within which it happened. We can recall experiences without feeling like we’re reliving them, and we can recognize that we did what we could, and that it’s over now. As we heal and experience this distancing from past experiences, we get to interact more with present-day problems. There is room for the present-day problems, and when we interact with them, they are less triggering to the past and less informed by reactions that come from being triggered. You will notice that the problems you bring up with people – your therapist, trusted friends or loved ones, will have a more current-day context. There are still problems, they are still impactful, but they are real problems that we can interact with a make choices around now – not things long gone that we have no more influence over changing.

6. Closely connected to number 5, problems feel proportionate to present stressors and less informed by past experiences showing up in the present. This is really connected to that triggering piece. If you haven’t heard us talk about triggering on the show before, go check out our “Trigger Happy” series – Season 2, Episodes 22-25. Triggering is what happens when our stress center is still holding a lot of our memories, and keeping them highly activated in a largely misguided effort to protect us. When present-day problems happen, our stress center is scanning those experiences for any hint of connection to our past stressful/traumatic experiences with the goal of preventing the present-day problem from turning into experiences like our trauma again. When this happens, our reactions to present-day problems tend to be extremely disproportionate to the current situation. We are highly reactive, and likely to have our reaction be really out of whack with what the current situation would normally call for. We see this come up a lot in conflicts with partners and kids where reactions are intensely disproportionate, but it may also show up at work or driving in traffic or other random places. When we have done the bulk of the healing work, our brains have relocated our trauma and stress memories and contextualized them in a way where we can notice the difference between now and then. As this happens, we are able to remain more present in situations and respond to them in a way that is more in line with what the situation in its purest form needs from us. This doesn’t mean we won’t still have reactive moments, but they’ll be reactive because this moment genuinely calls for it, not because I’m so triggered by past experiences that I can’t see the forest for the trees and become overreactive to the current scenario.

7. I am able to be calm and connected rather than calm and disconnected. This is one of my favourite things to ask my clients about. Often I have clients who will come in and share that they’ve been feeling calmer lately – and the question I always ask is, are you calm and connected, or calm and disconnected? Depending where they are in the process, calm and disconnected is often the answer. As we move through trauma processing, sometimes the brain feels threatened at the thought of relocating trauma memories and experiences – your brain believes is needs these to keep you as safe as possible from them happening again. What this can mean is that your brain will learn to dissociate, which really just means tuning you out for periods of time, in an effort to cope and keep you from moving through the work of processing. Dissociation often does feel like calm – we feel kind of numb and tuned out…but that’s not the same as healed. It is actually it’s own version of a stress response and a defining feature of being not done the work depending on the degree and extent to which we’re experiencing it. When we have done really good healing work, we can experience spaces of being in our bodies and feeling calm and connected to ourselves and the world around us as opposed to calm thanks to disconnected dissociative efforts at coping.

8. Support systems are beginning to emerge and are an intentional area of development. Support systems don’t manifest themselves overnight. They ta...

What To Do When You've "Done" The Work: How To Know (Part One)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 03 Jan 2023 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

As we kick off this new year, we are also kicking off a new series here on Behind the Line and covering a topic we haven’t tackled before. Back in the fall I put out a question to my followers on social media, and I was so grateful for the thoughtful responses. The question was simply, what would you like to hear about on the podcast? And yes, for those of you who listen but aren’t following me on facebook and Instagram, I do connect there and engage with your questions, feedback and I love getting your thoughts and input as we continue to shape this resource and build a community of amazing helpers together. So please do jump over and follow me @lindsayafaas, and reach out with your feedback. I work really hard to always respond to every comment, question, and DM. Ok, back to our topic for today – one of the fantastic responses I received to my question was this: what do you do when you are “done” the work of trauma therapy?

Such a great question, and I am so glad someone was brave enough to ask it. And when I sat with it I came up with some other questions, like how do we know when we’re done? What helps us know that we’ve done the work and are out the other side of processing and healing our trauma? And this is what we’re going to be talking about today and next week, in a two part breakdown of how we know we’re done the work; and then we’ll spend the rest of January tackling what we do once we recognize ourselves as done the work. How do we maintain what we’ve accomplished and protect ourselves from finding our way back into old patterns and recreating experiences that hurt us. If you know anyone who has faced trauma, this might be a great series to share with them too.

For some who listen religiously, this will be a recap – but I want to make sure we all have this important background understanding. When trauma is experienced, it is experienced and interpreted through our stress centre. Our brain activates a very specific region that handles the traumatic event or events and does what needs doing to survive it. The upside to this is that your stress center is very good at survival. The downside is that it’s not so great at a lot of other things. When the traumatic event is experienced with high stress activation, the memory of that event can get locked into that same region of the brain, which, by the way, does not have access to a clock or sense of time. This is not the part of your brain meant to hold memories, everyday kinds of memories get stored in other regions that have greater access to context and a sense of time, which is why they will over time fade a bit and start to feel old and distant. Traumatic memories, locked into this region that has no clock, will tend to feel very real and we can remember them in a way that feels like reliving the experience as a result. The goal of trauma processing is to help the brain relocate the memory to its usual memory storage banks by helping the brain to contextualize and make meaning of the events in a way that lets it off the hook for our fundamental survival.

When I work with clients, there are a number of things I am looking and listening for that let me know we’ve made some really substantial progress and that we have moved through the bulk of their trauma.

1. You are not ignoring, avoiding and distracting a substantial amount of the time. This doesn’t mean that you don’t ever scroll your phone, or that you don’t ever delay a decision – but these are done with intention. When we are in our trauma, we will mindlessly engage in these ways of tuning out. We will actively avoid anything that triggers our trauma, we will avoid conflicts that make us feel uncomfortable or reignite our insecurities, we will distract and numb from our discomfort. When we have healed our trauma, we will turn toward the discomfort and be curious about what is making us uncomfortable. We will face it, engage with it, and not let it get in our way or cause more harm. We interact with discomfort, and lean in to our newfound skills and resources to manage through it to see that we can do hard things, we can navigate hard conversations, we can deepen connection through healthful conflict. We don’t let things shut us down. We may make choices to shut ourselves down for short periods of time to reset, reconnect with our needs, consider our intentions and next steps, but then we re-engage. It is done with purpose and mindfulness.

2. Coping feels established and stable. We have routines and supports firmly in place. We know about our own needs, we are comfortable getting curious about ourselves, and we are willing to intervene in caring ways to ensure our own ok-ness. We have a hit list of things we know help us feel more steady and secure. We regularly engage in thoughtful actions that gesture caring and meaning to our own selves. We have awareness of when we’re feeling off, and are prepared with tools to become curious about this and engaged in meeting our emerging and evolving needs. We don’t just engage in coping as a response to a bad day or hard experience, we are engaged in it constantly in big and small ways to preventatively support our own stability.

3. We are aware of our common triggers, the feeling of being triggered, and have a tool kit to support us. We understand that triggering can happen, even when we have done a lot of healing work. Triggering is the bodies way of trying to keep us safe. We value our body’s effort, but recognize that not all triggers mean unsafety, and we have tools to support our body in calming down and finding safety again. We know what things are likely to trigger us and approach these things with gentleness toward ourselves and compassionate understanding for our body’s efforts at self-protecting. We know what our bodies feel like when triggered, how to assess and know what’s happening for us. When we experience this, we use grounding tools to help our brain recalibrate and trust that this process will gradually continue to embed new networks that promote a sense of safety where once we felt unsafe.

Episode Challenge:

Sit with the three indicators of healing outlined in today’s show. Where are you at in your process of healing? What work is yet to be done? What are areas that may need some attention to continue to move you in the direction of healing and posttraumatic growth??

Additional Resources:

Self-assess indicators for burnout and related concerns by using our free Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide.

Check out some of our related episodes…

- S1E15-18 about processing (this was specific to the pandemic but has principles that can be applied more broadly)

- S2E5-8 covers information on therapy

- S2E22-25 talks about trauma triggering and managing reactions to triggers

- S3E1-4 on alternative therapeutic approaches to healing when talk therapy hasn’t been enough

- ...

Quiet in the Chaos: Connection Inward & With Others

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 27 Dec 2022 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

We have been look at simplifying and finding genuine meaning in the midst of the chaos of the holiday season. This week we are focusing in on how to connect with our own selves, and how this is a stepping stone to strengthen relationships with others. Don't miss this discussion on immersing ourselves in studying our own internal landscape - it may sound a bit cooky, but it is essential!!

Episode Challenge:

Sit with the questions outlined in the show: What does your internal landscape look like? What does it feel like? How has it changed? What is growing? What is changing? What is dying off and making way for new growth? How can you spend time here and get to know it's idiosyncrasies better? What would knowing about this allow you to bring to other relationships? How might you imagine other people's internal landscapes?

Additional Resources:

Self-assess indicators for burnout and related concerns by using our free Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide.

Check out some of our related episodes…
· S3E5-8 Reclaiming Self Series (being in alignment with values and being the people we want to be)

Connect, Rate, Review, Subscribe & Share!

This podcast is designed for First Responders and Front Line Workers including Law Enforcement (Police, RCMP, Corrections, Probation Officers); Public Safety (Fire Fighters, Community Liaison Officers, Emergency Call-Takers and Dispatchers); Social Services (Social Workers, Community Outreach Workers, Addictions Support Workers, Housing Support Workers, etc.); and Public Health (Nurses, Doctors, Hospital and Health Support Staff) and anyone else who works in high exposure, high risk workplaces. Please help us to help our community heroes by sharing this free resource to those you know in these front line roles.

Quiet in the Chaos: Reflect, Refine, Recharge

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 20 Dec 2022 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

We have been diving into simplifying and finding genuine meaning in the midst of the chaos of the holiday season. Today we are digging into what we value and looking at how this can evolve and change over time. We are talking about how to reflect on what serves us, as well as what doesn't serve us well; how to refine what we choose to better reflect what serves us meaningfully; and ways to recharge in the midst of it - both passively as well as actively.

Episode Challenge:

Sit with the questions outlined in the show: What serves you well during this season? What used to serve you well but no longer does? What has never served you well? How might you refine your choices to maximize what serves you well, and reduce the things that don't? And how can you seek out spaces and activities to recharge - both passively (chill out time) and actively (memory making fun or engagement)?

Additional Resources:

Self-assess indicators for burnout and related concerns by using our free Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide.

Check out some of our related episodes…
· S3E5-8 Reclaiming Self Series (being in alignment with values and being the people we want to be)

Connect, Rate, Review, Subscribe & Share!

This podcast is designed for First Responders and Front Line Workers including Law Enforcement (Police, RCMP, Corrections, Probation Officers); Public Safety (Fire Fighters, Community Liaison Officers, Emergency Call-Takers and Dispatchers); Social Services (Social Workers, Community Outreach Workers, Addictions Support Workers, Housing Support Workers, etc.); and Public Health (Nurses, Doctors, Hospital and Health Support Staff) and anyone else who works in high exposure, high risk workplaces. Please help us to help our community heroes by sharing this free resource to those you know in these front line roles.

Quiet in the Chaos: Values & What Matters Most

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 13 Dec 2022 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

Last week we opened the conversation of finding quiet in the chaos of the holiday season and working to shape the expectations we allow to have placed on us to be more reflective of who we want to be, what feels important to us and what we choose for ourselves during this season. I shared that our family loves a lot of really meaningful traditions and rituals and I already feel like we are well into them. We have our tree up and decorated, the lights on the house, and this past weekend marked the 4th annual Faas Family Sing-along Christmas party, barring the couple of years we missed from covid.

If you don’t know, I am married to a musician, a trained jazz pianist, and music is a huge part of our holidays. The Faas Family sing-along is a family favourite event, but it is one I will admit I have had to practice loving. I mentioned last episode that I am something of a perfectionist, and if I reflect on my family upbringing, one of my early learnings was to be stressed about how others perceive your home. My mom was always really conscientious about people coming to our home, scrubbing every surface and having everything pristine before anyone arrived. I absolutely inherited this pressure to have everything look just so, and have had to work hard at reducing the pressure I put on myself. Because if I let myself, I will rob the experience of every ounce of joy by being so stressed out about small things out of place or stains I can’t get out and how others might judge me.

What I’ve realized, is that no one has time or interest in caring much at all about what my house looks like. Barring stinky gross mess, I think most people are just thrilled to have something fun to do with people they like and could care less about whether my bathroom vent has been scrubbed until it’s shining or if my ceiling fan has some dust on it…and yes, that is the level of pressure I once held for myself.

People love our sing-along for the family friendly vibe, the fun games and atmosphere and the yummy food and good company. I love our sing-along for those same reasons. Each year, I work to simplify the food so it’s delicious but doesn’t keep me handcuffed to the stove missing out on the time with our people. I work to simplify the processes so that I can focus on what matters when it matters most and have a lot of it done and out of the way so I can really enjoy being in the moment.

What a lot of this boils down to is values. Last week we talked about expectations, and these emerge from the values we hold. Now, our values can be decided by us, but they can also be dictated by our histories and the values others laid upon us. We have to interact intentionally and question our values to be sure that we are living by values that feel truly aligned with the kinds of people WE choose to be in the world. While I still value cleanliness, I have scaled that value to know that I value people more. I value relationships more. I value being in connection more. And so, whether or not my home is pristine, I will not allow that to dissuade me from inviting people to come be in my life. I will not have a standard of perfection that separates me from connections I care about. I continue to value how people think of me, but no longer fear them thinking poorly of me. Instead, I think that people are either in alignment with what I value or perhaps not, and if not, I am not prepared to twist myself into a pretzel to fit their values and expectations. If that means releasing some relationships where we are not aligned and serving each other well, that’s ok with me, it leaves more room for the people who are really on the journey of life with me.

I want to encourage you to sit with your values. What matters to you. At the end of the day, what do you want to be known and remembered for? What stands out as most important to you? What is the legacy you long to leave? …Now, take these values and refine them to how they show up in the holiday season. If you value caring for people, what does this look like at the holidays? Does it look like expensive gifts or engaging from a place of service? If you value quiet time to yourself, how does this show up in the holiday season? Are you overcommitted and need to scale back, or have you done a great job setting time aside to meet your needs? Do you have values that feel in opposition to one another or mutually exclusive? What does it look like to try to balance these or meet a little bit of each need during the holidays?

As you refine your values, you will be able to more intentionally choose what to say yes to, what to say no to and where to put your time and energy. It won’t mean that there aren’t lots of invitations to spend your time and energy in a whole bunch of places that are out of alignment – the invitation will be there – but it will be a little bit easier to decide what you sacrifice for and what you don’t. You’ll have a better capacity to hold boundaries that allow you to exit the holidays feeling like you lived that out really well and got what you needed from them, rather than reflecting on them from a place of “thank God that’s over!”

Episode Challenge:

Sit with the questions outlined in the show: What matters to you. At the end of the day, what do you want to be known and remembered for? What stands out as most important to you? What is the legacy you long to leave? …Now, take these values and refine them to how they show up in the holiday season. If you value caring for people, what does this look like at the holidays? Does it look like expensive gifts or engaging from a place of service? If you value quiet time to yourself, how does this show up in the holiday season? Are you overcommitted and need to scale back, or have you done a great job setting time aside to meet your needs? Do you have values that feel in opposition to one another or mutually exclusive? What does it look like to try to balance these or meet a little bit of each need during the holidays?

Additional Resources:

Self-assess indicators for burnout and related concerns by using our free Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide.

Check out some of our related episodes…
· S3E5-8 Reclaiming Self Series (being in alignment with values and being the people we want to be)

Connect, Rate, Review, Subscribe & Share!

Quiet in the Chaos: Expectations & Simplifying

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 06 Dec 2022 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

December has arrived and we are into that time of year that many people experience as a love/hate relationship. The holiday season can come with a lot for us. There can be a lot of joy and excitement and connection, but there can also be a lot of overwhelm, stress, and grieving. For many who work in First Response and Front Line Work, there are added factors, like being on call or working over the holidays while the rest of the world seems to be allowed to hibernate and enjoy their families by the fireside. The season can come with closeness as well as resentment. It can come with a sense of quiet or a sense of chaos.

Acknowledging that the holidays are a time that can be very mixed, I want us to take a little time each week during this month to focus in on how we can create some quiet in the chaos and choose the kind of season we want to have rather than it feeling forced upon us.

I’ll be honest, I love so much about the holidays. I love the magic – the surprises – and the traditions. I love that my kids are still ages where they love santa. That they are old enough to remember our rituals and to get excited about doing the things that matter to our family each year. I will also admit that I hate the commercialism, I hate the shopping mall, I hate the many demands on my time and energy, I hate the pressure for perfect. And because of all of this, I have, year to year, worked to focus on ways to simplify our holidays to be able to really enjoy them rather than feeling like I am consumed by them.

I’ll be real, it hasn’t come easily or gone perfectly. I am prone to perfectionism, and if I am not careful to hold myself in alignment with my hearts longing to be in the moment with my people, I can easily get caught up in the busy-ness and noise – trying to find that perfect gift or twisting myself into a pretzel trying to throw the perfect holiday party.

Really what I am attempting…and I think what many of us feel a craving for…is counter-cultural. And stepping outside of the norm, going against the grain, is difficult. You’ll be challenged at every turn, called back to the uncomfortable familiarity of the cultural standards. …And yet, I know that I don’t love how I feel within the cultural standards. I don’t love the pressure and the fatigue. And I don’t want my kids to carry that feeling with them into their internalized values as they grow and eventually wind up in my position trying to pull this off with their own families one day.

If I think of what I want to gift my kids, I want them to have the gift of knowing how to rest. I want them to have the gift of knowing how to slow down. I want to gift them the ability to release expectations placed on them, and the courage to choose their own path. I want for my kids to have the capacity to hold space for their own families, to have closeness and connection and deep meaning in the precious moments shared with those we choose to spend our lives with. I want my kids to remember the magic, not the stuff. I want for them to pass along a legacy of magic and hope and joy.

When I reflect on these longings in me, I feel called back year after year to simplifying and I find that this brings me to the reflective place around my expectations as well as the expectations I feel placed upon me. If I leave them unchecked, these expectations can become a burden, an albatross around my neck that I am forced to carry. And then it’s no wonder that the season feels like pressure and exhausting – I am carrying something unwittingly and it costs something.

But when I enter the season willing to tangle with the expectations, notice and name them, I get to take some power back and decide which ones I am going to carry with me and which ones I will leave behind. I get to invite the opportunity to be a conscious chooser of what I will focus on during the season, and a conscious chooser of what I have no interest in carrying with me. We are back to this word we hit so often on this show – the word is intentional. Entering the holiday season thinking about the expectations we bring in with us and whether or not these are what we actually want and choose to live by allows us to be intentional. It allows us to set our intentions and align to them. It gives us the chance to lean in to who we choose to be during this season.

My encouragement to you is to not run into this season full force without pause. Don’t let the seasons chaos dictate how you engage it and how, at the end of it all, you’ll feel about it. Take some time and sit with these questions:

1. What was your early learning about the holidays? What was modeled for you?

2. What, from that early learning do you want to keep? What did you love that you would like to continue?

3. What, from your early learning do you want to leave behind? What does not serve you that you would like to discontinue?

4. What, based on your life now, energy and interests, feels most in alignment with who you want to be and the values you hold in the holiday season?

5. What, based on your life now, energy and interests, feels not in alignment with who you want to be and the values you want to hold in the holiday season?

6. What can you do to simplify out the things that are not in alignment? And what can you do to maximize focus on the pieces that feel highly aligned?

Episode Challenge:

Sit with the questions outlined in the show (see above)

Additional Resources:

Self-assess indicators for burnout and related concerns by using our free Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide.

Check out some of our related episodes…
· S3E5-8 Reclaiming Self Series (being in alignment with values and being the people we want to be)

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Impacts of Trauma: When the Body Says "No"

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 29 Nov 2022 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

We have been on a journey this whole month, talking about early indicators to be watchful for and aware of as people who work in higher risk jobs. If you’ve been listening, you’ll know that we’ve been talking about the things that let us know that we are changing, being changed, and that we need to know what to look for so that we can intervene early and catch it before we’ve gone too far down the rabbit hole.

We have touched on the heavy hitters – hypervigilance, dissociation, numbing and avoidance… which together make up the main criteria used to diagnose things like posttraumatic stress disorder. We have talked about how these show up, both early on as well as when we are moving deeper into traumatic stress and stress-related injuries. We have also talked about what we can do to catch them and meaningfully intervene in them to try to protect ourselves from spiralling further down.

Today, we are talking about the indicators our bodies give us when they are done, and we are going to talk about some of the early indicators that can give us a heads up that our body is crying out for us to do something before it’s too late.

For the purpose of our topic today I want to share a metaphor that I have used in an episode before but it was a long time ago now. I want you to imagine that your body is like a baby. When a baby wants or needs something, it usually starts by giving a couple little snorts or small vocalizations to try to get a caregivers attention. They might start moving around more or making facial expressions to denote that they have a need. An attentive and attuned caregiver might catch these early signs of need and join the baby in figuring out what the need is and seeking it meet it. And if that happens successfully, the baby settles and all is good with the world. But if the caregiver misses those initial efforts, the baby gets more restless and will up the ante. The baby will cry out louder to make sure its heard. Again, if a caregiver attends and attunes here, crisis can be averted by interacting with the baby and meeting the need. But if the caregiver fails to join the baby here, the baby will have to up the ante again. And this can go on and on until the baby wails to the point that even when the need is met, the baby is inconsolable and it take so much effort and energy for all involved to work at calming that baby back down. It gets dysregulated to the point that it’s whole nervous system is on fire and it can’t bring itself back down for an extended period of time.

Your body is like that baby.

When you experience stress over prolonged periods of time, your body will begin to send alerts to let you know that your nervous system is taking a hit and has some needs to balance back out. It will start by offering small indicators that something is up. A few headaches or digestive issues or feeling a bit off, like you’re coming down with something. An attentive and attuned caregiver to ourselves might notice these and see them for what they are – a way of my body communicating with me that it needs more care, less stress and some support to manage.

…But most of us (myself included!) will tend to ignore these, and worse yet, probably be annoyed by them and frustrated that they hold us back from doing all of the things we need to get done. We’ll push through and rationalize them away as changes in the weather or barometric pressure or food poisoning or that bug everyone says is going around…and on and on. And then you know what happens? The baby gets louder.

Your body learns that you aren’t listening. You can’t be trusted to be the attentive, attuned caregiver to your own self and it has to get louder to get your attention. So it does. You might notice new patterns and frequency and intensity of headaches, brain fog, dizziness, digestive issues, muscle pain, sensitivity to light and sound, immune issues and so on. You might need to take days off because of it. You might notice you are taking more sick days than usual. You might notice that you are feeling less well but others in your family don’t seem to be catching the same bugs.

Again, if we can be the attentive and attuned caregiver, we have an opportunity to interact with ourselves and build trust with our brain and body by being actively responsive to the needs we are hearing and picking up on. …It’s funny because I see parents do this all the time with kids – kid says they have a stomach ache every morning for a week, and parents know that while it might be a stomach bug, they are just as curious about what is going on at school that might have that kid feeling tight and tense and ill. We know stress shows up in kids bodies and we explore that with and for them. But with us, we have a tendency to gloss over it, push past it, shush it, demand that it shut the fuck up so we can keep functioning to the level we have demanded of ourselves, and if it doesn’t go away it’s probably cancer. …Ok, that might be a bit dramatic, but only a little – we for sure do have a tendency to assume that for us it is just an annoyance or something medically serious. We fail to account for how our bodies serve as a feedback and alert system for ALL that is going on with us, medically but also psychologically.

We know that our brains impact our mental health and wellness. Did you know that your gut is considered your second brain? That it has many of the same functional capacities as your brain to give orders and exert influence over your bodies systems including your immune function and nervous systems? Our bodies are these incredibly intricate interconnected systems – the design features are beautiful in their immense complexity. We were designed to have every part of us offer feedback to other parts of us – to have delicately nuanced interconnectivity. But all of this design is useless to us if we don’t stop to listen to it, and develop the capacity to know what to listen for. Again, like the baby, our bodies don’t speak a language we understand, there is some guesswork and trial and error involved – but if we join and attend and attune…ie, TRY and make an effort, we come to learn the language. We develop a parent-like knowing of what the specific grunts and gurgles mean, and we grow in our ability to be responsive to the needs.

Gabor Mate, in his fantastic book, When the Body Says No, writes this: “The salient stressors in the lives of most human beings today — at least in the industrialized world — are emotional. Just like laboratory animals unable to escape, people find themselves trapped in lifestyles and emotional patterns inimical to their health. The higher the level of economic development, it seems, the more anaesthetized we have become to our emotional realities. We no longer sense what is happening in our bodies and cannot therefore act in self-preserving ways. The physiology of stress eats away at our bodies not because it has outlived its usefulness but because we may no longer have the competence to recognize its signals.”

We cannot act in self-preserving ways because we may no longer have the competence to recognize our body’s signals. That is what he identifies as he outlines a myriad of stories that demonstrate ways that our bodies will continue to get louder and louder and louder in an effort to make us listen and serve our own needs. In his book, he talks about a host of cases of significant medical disease that emerge in connection to longstanding stress exposure. He argues that when we ignore and ignore and ignore our bodies, they will eventually force us to meet the needs. Our bodies will force us to stop working by making it impossible to work. They will force us to stop meeting the ...

Impacts of Trauma: Numbing

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 22 Nov 2022 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

Today we are continuing in our series on the impacts of trauma, and we are really trying to focus on the early indicators that alert us that trauma is starting to take a toll. The goal we are working toward is to be able to notice these earlier so we can catch them and intervene earlier and prevent ourselves and others from landing in my office…or worse. Your job as a First Responder or Front Line Worker comes with risks – we know that. It isn’t new information. And no one is better than the risks. Like I have said SO many times on the show before, nobody comes out unscathed. Nobody.

So given that the risks are real and that the promise is that you will be scathed by it – how do we minimize the scathing, or the harm to you that results from it? That is really what we’re trying to tangle with here, is how to we contain the scope of the impact. How do we limit the extent to which your beautiful, meaningful life – along with those of the people you care about like your partner, kids and family – is detrimentally impacted by the toll the work exerts?

We have talked so far in this series about several early indicators including hypervigilance – being on hyper-alert and the resulting fatigue; dissociation – your bring tuning you out to manage the degree of stress it’s experiencing for too long; and nightmares and flashbacks – intrusive ways your brain works at making sense of what it’s been through. Today we are talking about yet another indicator, and total honesty, I think it is likely the most prevalent and most salient early indicator of the lot. I see this one showing up more in my own life and in the lives of those I work with in the early phases of burnout, occupational and traumatic stress than any other category. And here it is: numbing.

If you listened to the episode on dissociation from a couple of weeks ago, I mentioned that dissociation is kind of connected to numbing. Dissociation is a mechanism by which our brain overrides us and tunes us out so it can take a break from the immense stress response cycle and hypervigilance it was not meant to deal with on an ongoing basis. Similarly, numbing is a mechanism by which we choose to check ourselves out. It is also closely related to avoidance – the desire to not go near discomfort or sit in pain or suffering for any length of time.

I mentioned a moment ago that numbing is one of the most prevalent and significant of early indicators…the other thing I should mention is that it is also one of the most ignored, justified, denied, rationalized and otherwise inappropriately excused of the indicators. And why is that? …Well, because the things we tend to use to numb, tend to be largely socially acceptable tools for distraction, comfort, and/or “coping”. They are behaviours and activities that make us “feel better”. They “calm us”. …Except that they aren’t being used to strategically support us, rather they are being used to temporarily mitigate our discomfort, interrupt our ability to process in favor of something that feels good for the moment, and over the long term, they cut us off from ourselves by distancing us gradually from interacting with our own thoughts, feelings, needs, worries, and more.

So, what does numbing look like. Well – the easy to name ones that likely you would think of as obvious would include drinking and drug use. I would also include self-harming behaviours, and extreme type behaviours like constant partying, dangerous promiscuity and related activities. These types of behaviours tend to serve by temporarily chemically diluting our feelings of suffering, or temporarily chemically enhancing our feelings of elation in an effort to drown out our experiences of hardship that we feel ill-equipped to process effectively.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I love a glass of wine while I watch trashy chick flicks on a Friday night. I am not saying that drinking is bad, or that drugs and medication are bad, or that having a good time and enjoying sex are bad. What I am saying is that when these things are used in excess or used explicitly to avoid our own experience, they can rapidly become problematic coping and lead into addictions that can be incredibly difficult to break. And I think we all know and see in others around us, the tremendous catastrophic effect that addictions can have on peoples lives. People lose partners, access to their kids, relationships with loved ones, the ability to do their jobs safely, and so much more. The cost can get steep, quickly.

But beyond the obvious and extreme forms of numbing – there are a TON of other ways we numb, all the time. How much time do you spend scrolling on your phone? Does that time increase or decrease when your stress is higher or it’s been a tough day at work? How much TV have you been watching? Again, does this amount of time go up or down when it’s been a hard day? How much have you spent on online shopping? How many bags of chips have you eaten…or here’s a more timely one, how many candies have you stolen from your kids Halloween stash hoping they won’t notice??

The truth is, numbing can look like a lot of really common, normal behaviours. And more than that, they can look like behaviours that when used a very specific way can actually be a component of healthful coping…but when taken too far, become a new problem all their own.

Recently I had a chat with my daughters kindergarten teacher. My daughter is the oldest in the class and is a force of nature by personality, I’ve been told the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. Her teacher told me that they have been working a lot on leadership. She strained when she said the word. I asked if that was a whole class thing – no. It was not a whole class thing. My daughter is working on leadership. I asked what that means, working on leadership, and I was told that my fiery girl possesses an incredible amount of power over her classroom dynamic, and that she could either use those powers for good, or for evil. Those were the teachers exact words. They, apparently, are learning to use her powers for good, by helping kids to listen and pay attention rather than get into silly moods that have every child bouncing off the walls. …Side note, I am SO grateful not to be a kindergarten teacher and believe every single one of them deserves a freaking parade. I could not do that job.

I share this story because, as I have mentioned in other episodes, adults are just children in tall bodies, and much like my 5 year old daughter, we have to decide if we will use our powers for good or for evil. Will we make choices that maximize the value something offers us, or will we take it to extremes where it suddenly has power over us? Can we work to use tools to serve us, or will we overuse them to the point that we are serving them?

Whether it is scrolling your phone or having a drink, these things can be nice, self-caring actions that can communicate to our brain and body that we acknowledge ourselves and acknowledge our need for a little bit of space or distance or distraction from what has felt hard, and welcoming of some chill, some enjoyment, some treating.

But when it goes too far and becomes habitual to the point that we don’t know how to cope without it; exclusive to the point that we don’t know how else to cope if not it; or excessive to the point that it absorbs us and leaves little else, we have a problem.

And this is where the tricky part lies. Defining where we move from decently healthful normal coping into problematic unhealthy addictive numbing. Because most of us start many of these activities in the normal healthy zone. They tend to be occasional and enj...

Impacts of Trauma: Nightmares & Flashbacks

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 15 Nov 2022 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

You guys, we are back and talking some more about early indicators for trauma and stress-related injuries that are common to front line workers. We’ve been talking about how important it is to be familiar with what to look for in yourself and those around you, so you can catch things early and ensure your wellness. For your sake, for the sake of the job you love, and for the sake of those who love you. This is crucially important stuff you guys, believe me, I know – because it’s what every client who ends up in my office for stress-related injuries says they wish they had known and done more about sooner to prevent having to get so deeply caught in it, where the impacts are incredibly damaging to them, their families, their potential to continue in jobs they have loved, and so much more. I have these conversations every single day, and I don’t want you to end up in an office like mine having the same regret-filled conversation if you don’t have to.

We’ve talked about what to watch for around hypervigilance and dissociation and today we are talking about nightmares and flashbacks.

Now, many people who think about traumatic nightmare and PTSD-related flashbacks likely think of what we see in movies – really intense experiences that make you wake up in a cold sweat or knock the wind out of you while engaged in some totally mundane task. While this can be what nightmares and flashbacks look like when traumatic stress has really taken hold, they aren’t the early indicator presentation, and that’s what we really want to focus on for today.

Before nightmares ramp up to the level of cold sweats and screaming in your sleep, they begin with less intensity but should be an early alert that something is up for us. Let’s talk for a minute about what sleep and dreaming is all about, and that will help us to better understand why and how nightmares play a role as early indicators around our wellbeing.

When you sleep, your brain begins a really important task called consolidation. I tend to think of this process, kind of like the mail room in a busy law firm on TV shows like the Good Wife. When you go through the day, you have a constant stream of input – data that is coming into your brain. Some of it is important, a lot of it is pretty meaningless, but your brain won’t necessarily know what it what until time has passed. For example, your brain might be aware of tree branches blowing outside your window while you are talking to your spouse or kids – and generally that input of the branches blowing would be pretty meaningless and unimportant…unless one of those branches suddenly broke and blew through your window…suddenly that background noise peripheral input becomes vitally important data that your brain is able to bring to the forefront and use to enact action to duck out of the way. Think of each piece of data – noises, visual input, smells, and so on – as a piece of paper in that busy mail room. By the end of the day it has amassed and there is a ton of material to sort through.

Your brain doesn’t have time all day to deal with organizing and sorting all of that material, it’s too busy dealing with the next bit of input coming in and working to determine if, in that moment, it is background or foreground information that you need to interact with. So, in the quiet of night when your brain gets to tune out it’s high degree of perceptive awareness of things like sights and sounds, it goes to work dealing with the mass of material you collected that day. Again, think of the mail room and workers sorting through papers – deciding what goes where. Does this need to be kept? Do we need it soon, like a presentation I have to give tomorrow? That might go into our short-term memory stores. Or do we need it for sometime further in the future? That might get put into our long-term memory bank. Is it something that is related to our survival? That needs to be kept locked in an air tight safe in our trauma center. If it doesn’t need to be kept, maybe it can be shredded and forgotten.

During the night, while you sleep, your brain is busy working on this sorting and filing process, scrutinizing each piece of data. And your brain, wired as it is for imagery and stories, tends to create visual representations and narratives – like shadow puppets of the things it’s working on.

Imagine that your brain pulls up something about your day that was stressful with your partner, deciding what to do with it, while also pulling another file up of a movie you watched starring some hot actor or actress…suddenly in your dreams you are having an argument with Brad Pitt who is your husband but obviously Brad Pitt isn’t your husband. Your brain smushes the shadow puppets together and concocts stories that often make very little sense when we wake up, but while we’re in it feel like they make perfect sense.

Psychology has a long history of “interpreting” dreams. I will admit, this isn’t something I do, but the idea is that we process symbolically through our dreams. In some ways we have common symbols that tend to mean common things in what we are trying to make meaning of; but at the heart of it what’s happening is that our brain is combining symbols of various things it is processing and trying to sort through simultaneously and then working to tell a story with it…because that is what our brains love to do. Why do you think we love fiction books and fantasy films and TV shows with intricate plot lines? We are wired for stories. From the beginning of time, people have told stories to translate key information. We have documented stories in pictographs and then written word. It shouldn’t be surprising that our dreams would be marked by story-making.

The thing about early indications of stress, is that we might not be finding ourselves recalling explicit nightmares of detailed events that reflect what we’ve been through. At the early stage, it will likely be less obvious than that. It will show up as more restless sleep – you might get feedback about that from your partner or from your fitbit, or just feeling more fatigued in the mornings. It will show up in dreams that feel more active – not necessarily intense nightmares, but dreams that circle around themes like helplessness, powerlessness, being chased or chasing after something, or other distressing kinds of feelings in the midst of the dream. These might gradually rise to the level of nightmare – again, perhaps not specific nightmares that re-enact the exact details of a traumatic lived experience, but images and stories that reflect fear, helplessness and horror.

The difficulty of nightmares – whether on the mild end or the intense end, is that they happen when we feel powerless to do anything about them. We can feel the victim of what is happening in our sleep. And this can give rise to a totally new problem, which is that this then builds a relationship to sleep that feels victimizing. It can lead us to stay up later, feel more anxious about going to sleep, use things like leaving a light or TV or music on – intended to bring distraction and comfort but also adding a dimension of ongoing input your brain is having to wrestle with attending to while desperately needing to turn this off to be able to focus on its job of consolidation. It can become a vicious cycle, because as we delay, avoid and degrade the quality of our sleep, we also give our brain less room to work with to do the consolidation job it can ONLY do while you sleep. That means that over time, there will be a backlog. You brain won’t be able to get through a day of material during the night, so it will hold it over for tomorrow night, and so on and so on. Add to that that you are in a job whe...

Impacts of Trauma: Dissociation

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 08 Nov 2022 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

We are continuing in a new series around what to look for and be aware of as professionals more exposed and more likely to suffer from things like PTSD and related occupational stress injuries. This comes after so much feedback that I hear about first responders and front line workers getting a lot of lip service advising to be on the lookout and conscientious about the risks for stress-related impacts of the job – but then aren’t given any information or tools to help know what the hell to actually be looking for that would let them know they aren’t ok…until they are SO not ok that the wheels have completely come off and course correcting is WAY more work than it needed to be.

Our goal in this is to help equip you with the warning signs. I want you to know the things to be noticing and on the lookout for. I also want you to have this resource to offer to your people – your spouse, close friends or family members – so they can know what to be on the lookout for – because they are often to ones who will see it first. And along with all that, I want you to be equipped to be an ambassador for change within your workplace, and to have what you need to help notice warning signs in others you work alongside to give them feedback and support them in seeking what they need before it is so much further down the rabbit hole.

We want to catch things early. Like any disease, the earlier we catch it, the more options we have to treat it and the less invasive the treatment needs to be. When we don’t know what to look for and let it persist way longer unchecked, the consequences can be so much more catastrophic and working back from it is so much more difficult. It doesn’t have to be that way. If we can help to catch it early and intervene when it’s not too far gone, the process is not so difficult. This is exactly why I built tools like the free downloadable Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist and Triage Guide – which if you haven’t gotten it yet, go to our website (link above) and grab it. The checklist helps you to self-assess early indicators for things like burnout, compassion fatigue, PTSD and occupational stress injuries. It is a really powerful tool if you use it on a semi-regular basis to track where you’re at and notice early on any changes in your wellness.

Among the indicators that the checklist tracks, one of the key symptoms associated with stress-related injuries is a phenomenon called dissociation.

If you are not familiar with the term dissociation, let’s take a minute to break down what it means. Dissociation is a neurophysiological tool your brain uses to distance itself from stress and overwhelm. It is adjacent to numbing – it’s our brain checking out for chunks of time or to varying degrees all of the time. The dictionary definition of dissociation is, “the disconnection or separation of something from something else or the state of being disconnected.”

Now, it’s important to know that everyone dissociates. Everyone has experiences where they check out mentally. Whether or not you dissociate is not in and of itself an indicator of a problem – it is a human mechanism to manage a world that can be inundating and it’s our brains way of managing the flow of energy it’s expected to dedicate to interpreting and interacting with it all. When we talk about dissociation we talk about it on a spectrum, from mild to severe and complex. On the mild end of the spectrum, and what is in keeping with normal human experience, is things like watching TV and zoning out to the point that you don’t know what’s happening in the plot and have to back track a bit to catch up with what’s going on. Another example is “highway hypnosis” and that feeling of getting to a destination but not really remembering the choice-points involved in doing the drive.

So, what are we looking for when dissociation is going beyond normal coping into problematic? What should we be looking for?

Well, one of the markers may be less about whether you miss the plot line in a show, and more about the frequency with which these normal level dissociative experiences are happening. To disconnect and zone out once in a while is one thing, but when it’s happening on a daily basis – that’s a sign of a problem. So one of the things to be looking for is normal, mild level dissociation happening at a frequency that is increased. Do you find yourself reading and re-reading, and re-reading again the same 3 sentences of a book when you used to be an avid reader? Do you have difficulty keeping track of steps in a process? Do you walk into a room and forget what you were there to do?

…Now some of these things can be associated with distractibility – like having a lot on our minds – as well as with aging, and true story, those can be legit reasons. But sometimes people mistakenly chalk up some of these early indicators as “getting older” when in actual fact they are symbols of stress taking up more space in our minds and our brains trying to quash the impact of that by tuning us out a bit, because we aren’t doing the shit to help make it better more actively.

If you used to be a decently present person and you are noticing, or getting feedback from others that you seem more checked out than you used to be, that’s some solid feedback to listen to.

More moderate-level indicators are struggling to be present in conversations with loved ones, needing to ask for people to repeat themselves multiple times to get what they are saying. Having people repeat your name multiple times to get your attention. Excessive mindless scrolling. Feeling like you lose time – minutes or hours where you can’t account for what you were doing or thinking. Some have difficulty FEELING present in moments – like they are there in body and can see their kids joy on Christmas morning, but can’t bring themselves to FEEL a part of it.

And on the severe end of the spectrum people will lose significant chunks of time that they can’t account for. Often people who end up in this end of the spectrum have experienced such severe trauma over such a prolonged period of time in their lives, that their brains have taught themselves to segment off into parts and this shows up as something called dissociative identity disorder, which is the terminology used to refer to what was once known as multiple personality disorder. A very real experience that I work with in my office on a regular basis, this degree of dissociation is virtually always in response to very early experiences of incredibly significant trauma that is frequent and unsupported. It is the brains only way to cope and function, to parse itself into segments that can exist in and face demands from different parts of life.

Now, DID is a bit beyond the scope of what we’re going to try to tackle today, but I bring up this end of the spectrum because I don’t think it gets enough attention, AND, because I think it is more prevalent in helping professionals than anyone actually knows about. While I can’t speak to this from a quantitative research perspective, anecdotally I will say that so far every single client I have ever worked with who has dissociative identity disorder works within first response and front line work. And it’s not that first response and front line work makes someone more at risk for DID, I actually theorize that the relationship goes the other way around. I tend to believe that people who experienced significant wounding in childhood develop into adults who want to make a difference and help to make the world a better, safer place. I also tend to think that...

Impacts of Trauma: Hypervigilance

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 01 Nov 2022 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

Since starting this podcast, one of the most frustrating things I hear all too often is that as front line workers you are told to be aware of trauma. To be looking out for PTSD. To be on alert that you are at higher risk for stress-related mental health concerns. …But then never being told WHAT to look for. Not knowing what exactly PTSD looks like, feels like. How to know when there’s a problem, before it’s so bad that you can’t convince yourself to get out of bed and face the world.

That trend is so very concerning to me. While I know we have made gains in reducing the stigma of mental health concerns and that things like therapy are being made more accessible and are encouraged more by workplaces now than ever before in history – what does any of that matter if we aren’t equipping people with the basic knowledge of what the hell to look for? How can we expect people to get support and do the work to help themselves if they don’t even know there’s a problem?

This stood out to me most starkly a while back, and I have referenced it a number of times on the show since then, when Jenn Pound came on and talked about her PTSD symptoms manifesting physically. She felt sick, like she had a bad flu that she just couldn’t shake. No one told her what to look for. Despite posters from occupational health that said to be watchful for indicators of occupational stress injuries, no one clarified what exactly to be on watch for. So it went on and on and on, untreated, assumed to be some bug. Until it got so bad that it could no longer be chalked up to the flu. And by then, the damage was so severely done that it becomes a totally different kind of ballgame to try to play out.

I hate this. I hate that this is a thing. I hate that you are trained to identify markers of mental health concerns in those you serve, but aren’t trained to look for your own. Whose brilliant idea was that?!?

So during this series, we are going to talk about some of the hallmark concerns that show up in people who are exposed to trauma and high stress experiences. We will also talk about some of the less hallmark but equally need-to-know pieces to be aware of. Of all of the series’ I have done on this show, this one is among the most important and I hope that you will listen, use what we talk about, and please, please help others working alongside you by sharing it as far and wide as you possibly can. This is the stuff that can help us turn the tide on so much of what is plaguing front line workplaces. We can make it different guys, but I need your help.

Today I want us to talk about hypervigilance.

Hypervigilence is the word we use to describe the feeling of being on high alert. That feeling when your body feels tense and activated, ready to do what it needs to do to keep you or others safe. It’s an on edge feeling. A heightened feeling.

When we’re in vigilance, there are a number of changes that happen for our brains and bodies. This state is the readiness that would, in a stress inducing situation, give way to fight, flight, freeze or fawn responses. When we feel it, muscle tension increases, blood flow changes, body temperature changes, breath rate and heart rate both change. Our senses will tend to feel heightened, looking and listening for indication of threat. Our brains will tend to get super focused, scanning and assessing.

That’s vigilance…but what about HYPERvigilance? Well, this is vigilance on speed. It is an activated state that carries with us, regardless of the scenario. It’s extra, beyond what we need and beyond when we need it. When nothing stressful or threatening is happening, it is energy directed to waiting for something that isn’t coming. More often than not, it’s wasted energy. And it’s ridiculously depleting.

Why would your brain want you to be on edge when you’re having a bubble bath, or trying to fall asleep under your comfy blankets, or when you are sipping your coffee in your favourite chair in the morning? …Well, because stress and trauma generalize.

What that means is that our brains expand stressful and traumatic experiences in an effort to protect us not just from bad things that have happened but also from any possibly affiliated things even in close proximity to a thing that’s happened. And they think a great way to serve you is by having you ready for anything, all the time.

Some people would talk about this as triggering. And they are connected. A trigger is exposure to something that our brain has associated with a traumatic experience (whether consciously or not), and when our brain picks up on that trigger, it elicits a hypervigilant response – an over-the-top protective activation even though there is nothing of particular importance to be activated by right this moment. For lots of people, vigilance will come up in very specific situations, when triggered by specific stimuli related to specific past events or experiences. For others, their vigilance will feel persistent and unabating.

The thing about hypervigilance is that number one, it’s not natural. And number two, it’s not helpful. What do I mean by not natural? Well, while vigilance is a natural protective response, HYPERvigilance does not work with what our bodies were intended to give us. Our bodies are meant to have a reactive, self-protective response to threat but it’s meant to be very time limited. It’s meant to come up, advise me to fight for my life or run as fast as my feet with take me or hold my breath and hope to God it’s over soon…and then it’s meant to subside gradually as our system finds itself in safety again. Our brains and bodies didn’t plan for being in persistent threat where safety is never known or felt. They aren’t meant to run in this state all the time – the energy cost is WAY too high and the depletion connected to it is immense. Which is why for many people who live in this state they struggle with fatigue, irritability, feeling like they have a short fuse. The vigilance burns the wick so short that there isn’t much left to work with. On top of that, hypervigilance is rarely helpful. Your brain is choosing to stay stuck in vigilance because it believes that despite not being made to do this, it’s better to stay here than lower your defenses and risk something happening you weren’t ready for. …It’s maybe not terrible in theory, but in actual practice the issue is that your body carries the toll – the cost of being in this activated state for a prolonged period of time. It actually becomes LESS responsive, LESS capable of thinking and problem solving and handling something if a threat did end up popping up. The cost is more than whatever benefit it generally offers and it can dramatically reduce our capacity to manage through a stressor or traumatic experience because we’re walking into it so very depleted rather than with our best skills and capacities intact. If fact, for some, the persistent extent of hypervigilance leads to a new problem we’ll be talking more about in another episode – dissociation. Quickly for today, dissociation is when our brain and body numbs out in an effort to cope with too much activation – it checks out because the cost is too high. And this happens often in connection to hypervigilance costing too much for too long.

Now, we’ve been naming that so much of this happens without feeling like there is a lot of conscious choice to it. Your brain and body are mapping these things without your vote, and often it feels like you’re just along for the ride. Worst ride ever.

So how do we take the reins and get off the ride? Well, two things…and one caveat.

First, opposite action...

Support & Anchoring (Reclaiming Self Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 25 Oct 2022 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

We have been talking about alignment for the last few weeks – the way we intentionally align ourselves with the kind of people we want to be. We’ve been talking about how to be the authors of our own stories, rather than bystanders while life writes our story for us. We’ve talked about how to be a scientist and use curiosity, experimentation and learning to craft alignment and tweak it to serve us and our goals for our own lives.

Today we are wrapping up our series on reclaiming self, and focusing on the one other key piece in creating a life we feel the authors of.

If you think about authors…and scientists, for that matter…they have a couple of things that we need to have too.

An author has a team. An editor, a publisher, a guild…people to bounce ideas off of and workshop with. They consult to ensure that their story is grounded and believable. They have others read their work to get feedback. They are not an island. While some writers can be reclusive, in the midst of it they are checked by others who support their vision and share their goals, to ensure the end product is a reflection of what they intended it to be.

A scientist as a team too. An ethics board who approves experiments, an academic body who guides the process, a funding organization, research assistants, academic mentors… Again, check points. People who are invested in the project, who want to see it do well and support keeping it on track. People who ask hard questions when things seem to be going off the rails or aren’t aligning with the plan. They are people to be accountable to, to keep the project honest and in integrity…most of the time anyway.

So, the part one takeaway is that we need a team. We need people in our corner who get our plan and intentions and support us in making that come alive. We need people we can be honest and vulnerable with who are willing to walk with us and check us and hold us accountable to who we say we’re going to be.

The other thing that authors have is a plan. Before they put pen to paper, or keyboard to blank word document, they create a plan. The identify the key characters, who they are and what their deal is. They outline the basic plot points and some of the anticipated twists and turns. They imagine and envision some of the substantial details and note them. Outlining all of these pieces helps a complex work of fiction to be broken down AND it acts as something for the author to anchor to. So when things get a bit off course, they can come back to the outline and re-hash things. It acts as a tether, to keep them honest to the vision for the project.

Similarly, a scientist has to have a plan before they can start running experiments. They have to have a breakdown of what they are curious about, what they think will happen, and how they plan to go about finding out the answer. They have to have a rationale for why they are doing what they are doing and convey how their actions steps will serve to advance what we know about a subject.

In both cases, these plans are what authors and scientists share with those in their circle. They disseminate the plan to the people in their respective spheres of influence and by knowing the plan, the people in their lives can better support the integrity of the work. They can see when things are going off the tracks and are equipped to call it out and name problems before they become so catastrophic that they undermine the quality of the end product, or lose a ton of time, money and energy for those invested in it.

Questions to Consider:
- Who are YOUR people?
- Who are the people who you can be honest and vulnerable with?
- Who can you communicate your plan to?
- Who can help you stay accountable in crafting the person you choose to be?
- Think about your plan - What would it look like to be the person you want to be? What would that person look like? How would they feel? What kinds of things would they do? What would be notable about them? And what needs to happen to move you from where you are right now in the direction of that vision of yourself?
- What is the story you want to tell about yourself?
- How would you like your story to be remembered?
- What do you hope you would be known for?
- And how to you take steps toward being more in alignment with that person?
- Who you might need to help you get there?
- What kinds of accountability would you need?
- Who do you know who has skills that would be helpful to your efforts?
- What would you need to communicate to them for them to support you well?
- What permissions might they need to be effective?

Episode Challenge:

Register now for our Beating the Breaking Point Resilience Series & Survival Guideto help guide you in aligning with your goals of health, wellness and resilience both at work and in your life outside of the work you do. Register now for $100 off from October 18th-27th, here!

Reflect on where you’re at and what you might need by using our free Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide.

Additional Resources:

Register for our Beating the Breaking Point Resilience Series & Survival Guidefor $100 off from October 18th-27th, here!

Connect, Rate, Review, Subscribe & Share!

This podcast is designed for First Responders and Front Line Workers including Law Enforcement (Police, RCMP, Corrections, Probation Officers); Public Safety (Fire Fighters, Community Liaison Officers, Emergency Call-Takers and Dispatchers); Social Services (Social Workers, Community Outreach Workers, Addictions Support Workers, Housing Support Workers, etc.); and Public Health (Nurses, Doctors, Hospital and Health Support Staff) and anyone else who works in high exposure, high risk workplaces. Please help us to help our community heroes by sharing this free resource to those you know in these front line roles.

Learning & Adjusting (Reclaiming Self Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 18 Oct 2022 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

The process of considering alignment and experimentation involves asking questions about what might fill my bank account back up. What feeds my spirit? What brings energy? What replenishes? Or, at minimum, what limits the rate at which I get depleted?

Last episode I shared some examples from my own life and what felt noteworthy to me as I shared them was just how small and simple most of them were. Taking a multivitamin, experimenting with when I exercise and what kind of exercise I enjoy most, trying out something silly like crochet…none of it is big or particularly complicated or time consuming. It really is just slowing down enough and leaving my curiosity on that makes the difference. And honestly, what we’re talking about is learning.

The process of learning happens when we try something out, take information from that experience, and adapt that into what comes next. We learn whether we are conscious of it or not – our brains are constantly taking in information, recognizing patterns and adapting expectations to those patterns. For example, if I come home and am greeted by grumpy, snarky kids and a grumpy husband and a messy house, my brain over time learns to expect this and probably creates an adjusted mood of being grumpy too. If you are a brain and behaviour psychology geek like me you’ll know that this is basic conditioning and the model for how we learn pretty much everything.

Harnessing the power of learning gives us conscious level control over the factors and allows us to shape the outcomes. Let me say that again, because this is key – harnessing the power of learning gives us conscious level control over the factors and allows us to shape the outcomes.

The thing about scientists is they don’t just run one experiment, write the results and then stop. They ask new questions, better questions, more informed questions because of what they have learned so far. And they use it to keep on learning. They invest not in the specific outcome but in the process of curiosity and learning. They are in it for the growth, not the end result.

And the thing is, we need to keep that piece at the forefront because we aren’t ever going to be a finished product. The truth about life is that it keeps changing. And the truth about people is that we keep changing because of it and within it. What fit and aligned for you as a teenager probably doesn’t fit or align quite the same way today. That doesn’t mean that it didn’t align way back when…it just means that you’ve grown and need to have what supports you grow with you. It might look like aspects of what once fit for you, but it might have to be adapted to fit who you are now and what your life looks like now. And it might be brand new things you’ve never even considered before, because that might fit better and be more aligned than you ever could have suspected.

What I am saying is that you need to be willing to try, and when you feel like you’ve found a sweet spot enjoy that but don’t get complacent in it. Keep observing. Keep noticing. Keep being curious – because that sweet spot can be amazing but it won’t last forever and if you keep your curiosity on, you’ll notice when it’s not so sweet a lot quicker and be able to adapt more effectively than if you get complacent and fail to notice that things aren’t feeling like they fit for you quite the same way. To some extent I see this showing up for a lot of clients I work with who struggle with low-grade depression – they keep doing what used to work and fail to account for the fact that it’s not working anymore. They feel caught and have low energy and so trying new things, stepping out of the routine and comfort zone, feels so hard and uncomfortable that their depression just won’t let them do it…but then that continues to feed the depression…and it’s a downward spiral of stuck on top of stuck on top of stuck. If we can be open to curiosity, we can catch it earlier, adapt it and find a new sweet spot rather than getting caught in that spiral.

I know we talk about intention a lot, and it’s for good reason – being an engaged participant in our own lives really makes the difference between a life lived and a life well-lived. We need to have our eyes open, we need to be seeing and noticing what’s going on for us and around us, to be able to be active in shaping the story of our lives. Being passive to this allows everyone and everything else to tell our story, to decide who we are. If you want to be the author of your story, you have to own it. You have to sit down, look at your character and make choices that shape that character to be the fullest version of themselves. Life will try to convince you to put down the pen and just hang on for the ride, and it’s your job to do the hard work of sitting down each day, picking up the pen, and writing the story. Just like a book character, you’ll face bumps and hardship, it will test your character and shape you – but you can be active in that process and you can intervene on behalf of yourself to support an ending to the story you can feel proud of.

Episode Challenge:

Reflect on where you’re at and what you might need by using our free Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide.

Additional Resources:

Register for our Beating the Breaking Point Resilience Series & Survival Guidefor $100 off from October 18th-27th, here!

Connect, Rate, Review, Subscribe & Share!

This podcast is designed for First Responders and Front Line Workers including Law Enforcement (Police, RCMP, Corrections, Probation Officers); Public Safety (Fire Fighters, Community Liaison Officers, Emergency Call-Takers and Dispatchers); Social Services (Social Workers, Community Outreach Workers, Addictions Support Workers, Housing Support Workers, etc.); and Public Health (Nurses, Doctors, Hospital and Health Support Staff) and anyone else who works in high exposure, high risk workplaces. Please help us to help our community heroes by sharing this free resource to those you know in these front line roles.

Experimentation & Self-Discovering (Reclaiming Self Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 11 Oct 2022 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

The really cool but often uncomfortable thing about life changes is that they open up an opportunity, a potential, for learning and growth. They tend to push us into a place of HAVING to do something differently, and by extension, learning about ourselves, what fits for us and what doesn’t, and sorting our way through how we either contort ourselves or how we make things contort to fit us.

Like I said, it tends to be uncomfortable – because as people we crave routine, stability, predictability, and so on. We like to know what to expect and have a clear sense of what is coming next. Being pushed out of our comfort zone, out of our routine and predictable, and being forced into new and unknown terrain, is going to feel uncomfortable. And that’s ok. …But it is also what makes stage of life changes feel so overwhelming and daunting. If we aren’t accustomed to uncomfortable…if we aren’t open to discomfort for the sake of growing…then we’ll have a tendency to shut down, enter survival mode, hope to God the discomfort ends soon, and likely not take much from the opportunity other than negative self-perceptions and resentment toward the transition.

Certainly I can appreciate digging heels in and not wanting to enter a time of transition or change. I have had my fair share of metaphorically curling up into a ball and waiting for it all to be over, refusing to participate in the opportunity for growth. Often when the invitation intime of change felt unwanted and forced upon me with all the doom and gloom feelings of the world ending…Sometimes even in changes that were good and that I had a hand in choosing…because it felt big and hard and called me into discomfort I wasn’t fully prepared to face.

That said, out of these experiences I have learned a lot and have tried to adapt toward embracing these opportunities rather than trying to run and hide from them. And today I am sharing the number one trick I can offer around how to engage and embrace times of transition – whether happy and hopeful changes, or hard and unwanted ones. Here it is: Be a scientist.

Ok, here’s what I mean. Scientists, by nature, are curious. They are open to possibilities and interested not in any one specific agenda or outcome (or at least they aren’t supposed to be…) but rather interested in learning a little more and allowing that to lead to new questions and directions. Scientists make educated guesses, but go where the data takes them. They set a hypothesis and try to prove it wrong rather than prove it right. They are willing to try things out and when they don’t work out the way they expected, they take that as learning. And you guys, THIS is what we have to do in our lives.

So, let’s talk about experimentation and being a scientist. Now, we’re going to start in a place that will likely be familiar if you are a loyal listener of this show. Every good scientist starts by asking a question. That is where the process begins. And to ask the question to begin with, they need to have noticed a pattern or oddity that elicits the curiosity to say, “why?”. And that brings us back once again to the need for AWARENESS. We have talked about this SO many times before on the show – that we can’t take intentional steps in any direction if we don’t first have awareness of where we’re at and how it relates to where we imagine wanting to be or go. Scientists ask questions based on observations – they notice a thing and then get curious about it and ask more questions.

The first step in acting like a scientist in our lives is to have some carved out scientist time. To have time set aside where we can slow down and notice. When we are caught up in the survival mode moment-to-moment chaos of our days, or when we numb out or distract ourselves in every down-time moment, we deprive ourselves of the opportunity to take stock and notice what is happening in us and around us. Having moments of quiet pause throughout a day and a week is what allows us to take note of patterns, oddities and other bits and pieces that can inform the questions we ask next.

Step two in being a scientist is to ask a question. We’ve taken time to pause, we’ve looked inward and outward, and there are some things we’re noticing. One of the insightful pieces that came up for me about a year ago was awareness that there is a craving for reconnecting with things I used to love and enjoy. I noticed feeling nostalgic in weird moments – a great example was watching Olympic rock climbing with my kids, and while I was never a great climber…or even a very good climber…I used to rock climb and really enjoyed this. It actually was a really meaningful life line for me at a particularly difficult time in my teens and continued to be an important part of my life in early adulthood. I kept saying to my kids, “mommy used to do rock climbing” and each time it felt sad and disconnected from anything they know about me now. So, I got to asking some questions: “why is sadness the feeling that comes up when I think about this?”, “what is it I miss about climbing”, “what would it look like to try to climb again?”, “what would get in my way from climbing again?” and so on.

Now let me be clear, I didn’t run out and buy a harness and throw myself into climbing. That’s not real life. But, it opened up thoughts that I hadn’t allowed to live there before and it has yielded some amazing moments for me and with my kids and family that I am so grateful for. It turns out, my son loves climbing too. He and I went for a mommy-son date last winter to a bouldering gym and it was the best bonding. As a family we hit up a kids climbing gym while on holidays and made some fantastic memories together. And while hiking around Squamish, one of our favourite places on earth, we would make climbing challenges and compete with each other and it brought endless laughs and some epic stories the kids will tell on repeat.

This brings us to step three of being a scientist…experimenting. When we have awareness and some questions, we can take time to formulate a plan. But the key to this plan is unlike most planning in our lives where we have a sense of certainty and a need to know how it will all turn out, we’re going to enter this planning with curiosity and openness to it going in unexpected ways and being ok with that. Rigidity is not our friend here, the goal is to try some things and learn from them. It might look like experimenting with things you have done before, or adapting things you’ve done before to fit into life now, or it might look like trying out totally new things.

I feel like what should be obvious to you is that none of this is rocket science, but when we treat it like science of some kind, we can become intentional about how we choose to engage in our lives and lean in to what we’re in rather than fighting against it or succumbing to the weight of it. During this episode I share that 2021 was a crappy year for us. It was incredibly hard and I wouldn’t want to do it again. But, I also learned a lot about myself. I learned that I am capable of more than I ever knew. And I learned how to care for myself ridiculously well in the midst of a really trying time – which gives me so much confidence in my ability to care for myself even better as we shift gears into a time where I don’t have to be all things to all people all of the time. Because of 2021, I feel equipped and battle-tested for what comes next. I don’t feel afraid of the process and experimenting now feels like second nature – an adventure to learn to adapt to the moment I’m in. My hope it that you will come to feel that way about it too, and I would love to hear about your adventures in experimenting and discovering alignment.

Alignment (Reclaiming Self Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 04 Oct 2022 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

I’m not sure where you are at in your world right now – maybe you feel like you are totally killing it…maybe you feel like you’re drowning. Maybe you are somewhere in the in-between. As for me – I am in this weird and uncertain and beautiful stage of change and transition. I know that change can be scary for a lot of people, myself included, for sure. But this stage, I’m finding myself embracing it – reveling in it, actually. And as I have been working through this in my own life, I am aware that this is something we all go through and I thought we could spend the next few weeks talking about stages of life, adjusting to meet the changing moments, and working to re-align ourselves each and every time to work at being the people we want to be.

Stages of life are kind of funny to me. We all know they happen – that we ebb and flow between stages where we feel really capable and on top of things, to a time where we feel tired and lagging, to stages of insecurity and anxious uncertainty, back to stages of being our best selves. We have felt them. We see them clearly when we look back and recognize in hindsight that we were working through something challenging there, or were in a highlight phase of our lives back when… Yet, despite knowing about these ebbs and flows cognitively, we often struggle to own and recognize them for what they are in the moment. We fight them, or fall victim to them. We feel caught up and struggle to see the forest for the trees. In the thick of it, we feel like it’s about us – how we aren’t good enough, strong enough, on top of it enough, intentional enough…

During this episode, you’ll hear me share about some of my own present-day journey around stage of life transitions. About being aware and conscious in making the choices that support being in alignment with who I long to be as I see this shift happening in, under and around me. I think much of this is what we all face, and I hope we can share in it together.

Over the coming weeks, we are going to explore together some of the ways we can claim ourselves and seek to align and re-align ourselves with who we want to be when we face changes in our stage of life. The beginning of all of these efforts though will always be the same: AWARENESS. We can’t ask good questions or be intentional in enacting an action plan, or purposefully move to align ourselves, if we lack awareness of where we’re at and what needs to happen to move us where we want to go. We can’t get found if we don’t know we’re lost. And we can’t make the most of any given stage if we’re unaware that we’re in it.

Episode Challenge:

Reflect on where you’re at and what you might need by using our free Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide.

Consider whether our Beating the Breaking Point Resilience Series & Survival Guidemight be the right fit to help guide you in aligning with your goals of health, wellness and resilience both at work and in your life outside of the work you do. We are getting ready to offer the 7-part online training program at reduced rate one last time from October 18th-27th, so for now just go check it out and if you have any questions about it reach out and ask!!

Additional Resources:

Connect, Rate, Review, Subscribe & Share!

This podcast is designed for First Responders and Front Line Workers including Law Enforcement (Police, RCMP, Corrections, Probation Officers); Public Safety (Fire Fighters, Community Liaison Officers, Emergency Call-Takers and Dispatchers); Social Services (Social Workers, Community Outreach Workers, Addictions Support Workers, Housing Support Workers, etc.); and Public Health (Nurses, Doctors, Hospital and Health Support Staff) and anyone else who works in high exposure, high risk workplaces. Please help us to help our community heroes by sharing this free resource to those you know in these front line roles.

Alternative Approaches to Healing: Neurotherapy

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 27 Sep 2022 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

Today I am so excited to be joined by Michael Mariano, neurotherapy expert, and we are diving into the benefits of neurotherapy including neurofeedback, biofeedback and related tools. I am so grateful for this conversation including Michael’s show and tell with some of his equipment so you can get an idea of what it all looks like. You can listen to this episode, or watch and see the show and tell time on YouTube! Check out the links in the “Additional Resources” section below for more info on neurotherapy, and for Michael’s information if you would like to follow up with him.

Episode Challenge:

Take 5 minutes to complete our listener feedback survey!! Help shape the future of Behind the Line to ensure that it is meeting your needs and covering topics that matter most to you. If you complete the survey before September 30th you will be entered to win a $50 amazon gift card!
Complete the Behind the Line Listener Feedback Survey, here.

Reflect on where you’re at and what you might need by using our free Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide.

Additional Resources:

Neurotherapy Related Resources:

· Biofeedback Certification International Alliance

· International Society for Neuroregulation & Research

· The Association for Applied Psychophysiology & Biofeedback Inc

Michael Mariano Contact Info (Office in New Westminster, BC): michaelroymariano@gmail.com

Enter to win a $50 Amazon Gift Card by taking 5 minutes to complete our Behind the Line listener feedback survey, here.

Connect, Rate, Review, Subscribe & Share!

Alternative Approaches to Healing: OEI & EMDR

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 20 Sep 2022 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

As we continue in our series on alternative approached to healing, today I am sharing about my background in using Observed Experiential Integration (OEI) as well as a related therapeutic approach called Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR). Both of these therapies integrate neurological understandings of trauma/high stress experiences and the ways these experiences map themselves out into the brain and body. Both approaches rely very little on talking and much more of visual processing. Listen in to hear how they work and how they can be of tremendous benefit to First Responders and Front Line Workers struggling with posttraumatic stress, burnout, compassion fatigue, anxiety, panic, and other occupational stress injuries.

For Further Reading…
OEI:
https://sightpsych.com/
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/232561961_Observed_Experiential_Integration_OEI_Discovery_and_Development_of_a_New_Set_of_Trauma_Therapy_Techniques
https://thrive-life.ca/innovation-in-trauma-therapy-oei/

EMDR:
https://www.emdria.org/about-emdr-therapy/
https://www.apa.org/ptsd-guideline/treatments/eye-movement-reprocessing

Episode Challenge:

Reflect on where you’re at and what you might need by using our free Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide.

Complete our listener feedback survey and be entered to win a $50 Amazon gift card as a thank you for helping us make Behind the Line even better! Jump here to complete the survey now.

Additional Resources:

Don’t forget to complete our listener feedback survey and be entered to win a $50 Amazon gift card as a thank you for helping us make Behind the Line even better! Jump here to complete the survey now.

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Alternative Approaches to Healing: Psychedelic Assisted Psychotherapy

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 13 Sep 2022 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

Today I am joined by Registered Clinical Counsellor, Claire Weiss, who is sharing about her work is psychedelic assisted psychotherapy. Hear her story to brought her to this alternative treatment method as a client and a clinician, and learn about a non-traditional treatment intervention that has been shown to be helpful for many “treatment resistant” individuals. As a follow up to our interview, Claire provided a long list of resources (thanks Claire!!):

Videos

Talks given by some of the leaders in the field of psychedelic-assisted psychotherapy:

Mary Cosimano: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvt6ZpzByMs

Rick Doblin: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9XD8yRPxc8&t=872s

Robin Carhart-Harris: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MZIaTaNR3gk

Roland Griffiths: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81-v8ePXPd4

Rosalind Watts: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8kfGaVAXeMY

Mendel Kaelen: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehi0Cfm4DQM

Netflix Docuseries: How to Change Your Mind

Magic Medicine Documentary: https://youtu.be/6UX8HMXZVbA

Patient Experience Videos

https://vimeo.com/130995470

https://vimeo.com/51254785

https://youtu.be/xYhtXI4Prpo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyc7iM7ZNrA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sST7BvFfEGw

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TIVIfQaqVG4

More patient videos can be found here: https://www.heffter.org/media/

Podcasts

https://www.plantmedicine.org/podcast/psilocybin-scientific-research-dr-garcia-romeu

https://www.plantmedicine.org/podcast/psilocybin-patient-experience-dr-lynn-marie-morski

*The above podcast has episodes on every psychedelic and more!

https://tim.blog/2018/05/06/michael-pollan-how-to-change-your-mind/

https://tim.blog/2015/03/21/james-fadiman/

*Scroll down at the above webpages to locate the recording. Tim Ferris has a lot of content on psychedelics if you search his episodes

Books

How to Change Your Mind: What the New Science of Psychedelics Teaches Us About Consciousness, Dying, Addiction, Depression, and Transcendence – Michael Pollan

Consciousness Medicine – Francoise Bourzat

Research Hubs

John’s Hopkins: https://hopkinspsychedelic.org/index/#research

Heffter: https://www.heffter.org/study-publications/

MAPS: https://maps.org/research/other-research (scroll down for psilocybin studies)

Episode Challenge:

Complete the Behind the Line Listener Feedback Survey, here.

Reflect on where you’re at and what you might need by using our free Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide.

Additional Resources:

Enter to win a $50 Amazon Gift Card by taking 5 minutes to complete our Behind the Line listener feedback survey, here.

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When Talking Doesn't Work (Alternative Approaches to Helping Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 06 Sep 2022 06:00:00 -0700

Show Notes:

I’ve been trying to lean in to the openness to the not knowing more generally in life these last many months. It’s not my knee-jerk – I’m pretty hardwired toward planning, perseverating, anxiety and hyper-controlling. Settling in to the unknown and trusting that I’ll have what I need whenever I end up needing it – trusting that I have done what I can and allowing the rest to fall where it may – is not usually in my comfort zone. Yet, I’m finding it to be my saving grace lately. Curiosity and trust. Those are the muscles I am exercising a lot more regularly, and it’s been really cool to see how this allows me to relax into uncertain situations without sacrificing any of my capacity to be meaningfully involved or capable. I don’t think I’m alone in trying to micro-manage and control things in an effort to make everything be ok – my hunch is you might be in the same boat. Given that, you may also understand how uncomfortable it can be to try to shift from that mode to something less vigilant and “on top of things”. But it’s been simpler. Calmer. Nicer in a lot of ways. And it has allowed me to consider and explore ideas I wouldn’t normally have even allowed space to exist. Now, that has been true in my world and life generally but also as it relates to my work and the topic we’re kicking off with for Season 3 of Behind the Line.

A few months ago we had a guest on the show, you might remember, Kelsi Sheren from Brass & Unity. As a quick recap, Kelsi is a retired artillery gunner with the Canadian Armed Forces. She shared her story of experiencing PTSD and struggling with treatment resistance to traditional or conventional therapeutic interventions. I so valued this conversation and her calling out of the limitations of many conventional therapy models – because the truth is that they don’t work for everyone. And I really appreciated that she brought up a topic that in my profession is still pretty controversial, but I believe is really important, and that is the topic of psychedelics for PTSD treatment. When she brought it up I honestly had a moment of shock – not because of what she was sharing but because I realized that we had not yet spoken of this in a year and a half of this show existing. We did a whole series on therapy in the fall of 2021, and somehow I missed talking about some key pieces. As soon as I got off the interview with Kelsi, I reached out to 2 colleagues and asked them to schedule interviews for a new series I wanted to do to kick off season 3, and so here we are and we are jumping in talking about alternative treatment modalities for those who are struggling to find the right fit in conventional therapy.

Over the coming weeks I am going to introduce you to two amazing clinicians and the ways that they work outside of the conventions of traditional talk therapy to support healing and change. You’ll hear from my friend and colleague, Claire Weiss who specializes in Psilocybin-Assisted Psychotherapy, as well as my colleague, Michael Mariano who specializes in neurotherapy. You’ll also hear from me about non-verbal trauma processing approaches like EMDR which stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing; and OEI which stands for Observed Experiential Integration.

For today, I want to start by talking about why talking doesn’t always work.

Let’s start with this. As a therapist, I may be biased, but I genuinely believe therapy works. I have witnessed time and time again the incredible power of the therapeutic process, including the influence of talk therapy in shaping or reshaping how we think, feel and engage in the world. I have had so many opportunities to watch people make substantial shifts and live lives more aligned with their core values. I have seen people re-write their internal narratives and discover freedom from the stories they were handed. I have myself been shaped by therapy, growing from the opportunity to look more closely and intentionally at myself, my choices, my ways of perceiving, and considering alternative ways to going about it to be more the person I want to be. I want to be clear that I am not saying that talk therapy isn’t helpful – on the contrary, it can be incredibly helpful and consequential in changing someone’s life. That said, it has it’s place and it has it’s limitations, and chief among it’s limitations is in the processing and healing from trauma.

We have talked on this show a number of times about how traumatic experiences get encoded into our brains. We’ve talked about how the regions of the brain associated with trauma memory as unique and struggle with things like time and context. One of the other things these regions struggle with is language. That’s right, when we store traumatic memories, we store them in a part of the brain that doesn’t have particularly keen access to our language center. Our brain has to work hard to connect the memory to words to describe it, and often when people share about their traumatic experiences they find that they stumble trying to find the right words, or randomly blank on words. The part of our brain that is awesome at language is our frontal lobe, which is also where we do our really good thinking, decision making, learning, and so on. As we’ve identified in many other episodes, the frontal lobe part of your brain essentially gets turned off when trauma happens, and this also occurs when we go into memory recall of traumatic events. Whenever we are putting demand on the part of our brain that manages stress and stores trauma, our brain recalibrates itself to give more resources to the stress center and less resources to other parts of the brain including our frontal lobe.

So think about that for a minute – if you are going for therapy to work on traumatic experiences or the impact of trauma over time, and you are being asked to recall or share about the impact trauma has had for you – the act of doing what needs to be done means that language is automatically reduced. Which means that talk therapy is going to have a MUCH harder time accessing what it needs to, and supporting you in navigating what you need to move through, in an effort to rewire how your brain has stored that traumatic information. Talk therapy for trauma can feel very slow and very difficult, as it leaves people sitting in their traumatic experiences with minimal equipping to move through and out of it. It rests heavily on talking being the tool that gets us through, but the part of the brain that connects with that isn’t likely to be online. Unfortunately when people have tried talk therapy and found it ineffective in helping them with their trauma and symptoms, they tend to scrap therapy altogether. But what if there are other ways at getting to your brain that don’t rely so heavily on a skill that isn’t online? What if we can find some workarounds that get us there through some sneaky back doors?

For decades now trauma therapists around the world have been searching for the back doors. We have been working to be creative and emerging brain science has helped move us forward in better understanding how we can access and reprogram trauma. I won’t say that we have all the answers, because man alive, the brain is a complex thing and I’m not sure we’ve even scratched the surface of all that there is to know about how it works. But I will say that we have learned a lot and that we’re taking what we’re learning and working really hard to find better ways to provide support to people who don’t find conventional therapy to be doing the trick.

I remember about 6 years ago I went to a training by one of my psychology idols, Bessel van der Kolk. Dr. van der Kolk is known as a trauma expert. He has been at the forefront of the most significant and consequentia...

How Have We Made It Here?!?

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 30 Aug 2022 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes

What an amazing summer it has been! It has been fun, challenging and inspiring to connect with so many incredible guests and get the chance to share their stories with you this summer. I hope that you have found something meaningful to take from our Voices From the Front Lines series.

This episode wraps up Season 2 of Behind the Line – 52 straight weeks of podcast episodes. We’re keeping it short and sweet today, as I work on bringing you a brand new and really exciting season of Behind the Line. We are nearing 2 years of this podcast being out in the world, and it has been such a rollercoaster ride! From the very beginning I wanted this podcast to focus on bringing you the tool and information you need as front line helpers to remain as sustainable as possible. I have always wanted and continue to focus on having this resource echo your needs and interests – so my invitation today is to use the link in the show notes to complete our podcast survey. The survey is short and only takes about 5 minutes to complete. It allows you the opportunity to share what you think would be most helpful to hear about on the show in our upcoming season. I take your feedback super seriously and will use it to shape upcoming episodes and series. If you complete the survey before September 30th, you will be entered to win a $50 amazon gift card. The survey will remain available after September 30th for those wanting to provide feedback after that time.

Jump to Survey Link here.

Episode Challenge:

Complete our season wrap up listener feedback survey now and be entered to win a $50 amazon gift card!! Jump here and take 5 minutes to help shape the future of Behind the Line.

Additional Resources:

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Voices from the Front Lines with SFPD Deputy Chief (ret.), Jim

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 23 Aug 2022 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes

I love getting a chance to talk with veteran helping professionals – the wealth of insight and wisdom is invaluable. Today I am honoured to be joined by retired San Francisco Police Department Deputy Chief, Jim, who spent over 30 years working with the San Francisco PD in various capacities. He continues to be involved in law enforcement as an educator in the Criminal Justice Studies Department at San Francisco State University, a writer with police1.com, and as host of the Policing Matters podcast.

Jim and I spoke about the pieces that contributed to his sustainability in a 30+ year career in law enforcement. We talk about mental health, promoting resilience, and so much more.

During this episode I also mention the Beating the Breaking Point Resilience Series & Survival Guide, an online program that works to fill the gaps in your training and offers you a comprehensive and personalized guide to promoting your wellness and sustainability, both on the job and off. Learn more about this program here.

Episode Challenge:

Reflect on where you’re at and what you might need by using our free Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide. Signing up for this resource is also how you can jump on our email list where we’ll send you reminders up new podcast episodes and bonus resources.

Additional Resources:

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Voices from the Front Lines with Paramedic, Jeff

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 16 Aug 2022 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes

I so enjoyed today’s talk with Paramedic, Jeff. I heard Jeff’s story in a news article – you can find it here on CBC and here on CTV news. He shares bravely, openly and vulnerably about his experience of mental health decline and crisis as a result of his exposure within his work. He describes his intentions of taking his own life and shares about what helped him through this incredibly difficult time in his life. I am beyond grateful for this conversation, for the laughs we had a chance to share along with the willingness to talk about hard topics that need more air time.

Jeff now participates as one of the founding members of the Detachment Technique, a program designed to support those on the front lines with moving through shock and processing the immediate aftermath of trauma. You can learn more, here.

During this episode I also mention the Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide, a free tool that allows you to check in (over and over again!!) and see where you are at as it relates to burnout, compassion fatigue, and related traumatic/stress exposure concerns. Don’t just use this tool as a one-and-done – it is designed to be something you reuse on a regular basis that can help mark changes in your mental wellness status and offer you some interventions to work your way back to steady ground. You can snag the tool for free on our website here.

Episode Challenge:

Additional Resources:

Grab our free Workplace Suicide Risk Prevention infographic, used as a tool to promote education, understanding and tools for meaningful support by workplaces and teams.

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Voices from the Front Lines with International Nurse, Shannon

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 09 Aug 2022 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes

I have known Shannon Brink for years, but always as an acquaintance who was a friend to other friends. It wasn’t until our interview today that I was left with the question – how were we not BEST friends?? Because, Lord help me, we had the BEST conversation and I am so grateful for it. I hope you enjoy it too.

Shannon began her nursing career here in British Columbia, Canada. She is a mom of 4 kids ages 6-12, and moved with her family to Malawi a few years ago (pre-COVID). We talk about the balance of parenting and career, the many iterations of adaptation required in this crazy thing called life, what coping has looked like and our shared thoughts on being intentional, and a ton of real talk on how freaking hard life can be. I SO appreciated how real Shannon is and that she brings a refreshing truth, honesty and vulnerability to how she engages in the topics we touched on today. You guys are going to LOVE her.

Learn more about Shannon’s blog, https://www.shannonbrink.org/.

Check out her children's book about anxiety, "There's a Dragon in my Pocket: A Story About a Boy and His Fear", here.

You can also follow her on Instagram, here.

During this episode I mentioned the CBT for the Family: Tools for Life online course by my good friend and phenomenal colleague, Child and Family Therapist, Karen Peters. To learn more about the program and her other awesome parenting resources (including her podcast, Parenting in the Trenches), click here.

Episode Challenge:

What are some ways you have had to adapt? What are some areas where you may need to do some adapting now – and what would that look like? How can you build in space/time to semi-regularly inventory and re-inventory areas that need some tweaking so you don’t get lost in the shuffle and monotony?? – we would love to hear your thoughts and you can share on my social media.

Additional Resources:

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Voices from the Front Lines with Fire Chief, Steve

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 02 Aug 2022 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes

After reading about this Fire Chief’s story in a CTV News article, I am so grateful to be joined today by Steve Serbic. Steve is also an author, speaker and mental health advocate who also hosts his own podcast. You can check out all the info below to learn more about Steve’s work. Today we chat about his journey through a career in fire service, including his own challenges with mental health, leaning into vulnerability, battling shame and stigma, and seeking to help others do the same. He name drops some of my favourite thinkers including Gabor Maté and Brené Brown (LOVE!) and shares a wealth of wisdom that anyone could benefit from.

Learn more about Steve on his website, here.

Check out Steve’s book, “The Unbroken: A Firefighter’s Memoir” here.

Take a listen to Steve’s podcast, “Undercover Mental Health” here.

Episode Challenge:

What are some ways you can be leaning in and supporting your mental health needs more effectively?

Additional Resources:

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Voices from the Front Lines with Corrections Officer, Mike

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 26 Jul 2022 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes

I can hardly wait to share this episode with you! Today I am joined by retired Corrections Officer, Mike, who shares about his long and successful career working in prisons both at a state and federal level in the united States. He shares about the importance of support, the need for coping, the tools for sustainability and so much more. No matter what kind of First Response or Front Line Work you do, there are some awesome takeaways from this one that are applicable across the board.

Mike is the host of the Prison Officer Podcast – check it out here. You can also find him writing for CorrectionsOne.com, here(search Mike Cantrell).

Episode Challenge:

Who are your support people who keep you grounded? Who are your mentors and allies within the work? What helps you sustain an identity outside of the job you do?

Additional Resources:

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Voices from the Front Lines with Law Enforcement Officer, Sachin

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 19 Jul 2022 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes

I am honoured to be joined by Law Enforcement Officer, Sachin, who is working to create systems-level change in his own unique way…by running. Hear Sachin’s story and our conversation about discovering our unique gifts, exploring ways to use our gifts to serve the collective, shifting mindsets to step out of the monotony, and all kinds of other great and inspiring bits and pieces.

Learn more about Sachin and support his efforts to raise money for organizations supporting First Responders and Veterans through intense runs. Also, follow his incredible journey toward running across Canada in 2025 in support of mental health resources for those serving our communities on the front lines.

Follow Sachin on Instagram here.

The latest on Sachin’s website: https://www.sachinmotion.com/

Episode Challenge:

What gifts are uniquely yours? What do you bring to the table and how do you contribute to serving “the collective”? How do you imagine this will shift and change over time? What do you hope it will look like in the future?

Additional Resources:

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Voices from the Front Lines with Social Worker, Ash (Summer Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 12 Jul 2022 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:
Today I am joined by physicist turned social worker, Ash, and we are getting into it. Ash shares his journey into helping professions, his passion for the work, and we talk about the many stumbling blocks and our great ideas around how to fix it and save the world…some highlights we dig into:

connecting on a human level
the temptation to use the professional hat to distance from the hard work of being with people and doing helping professions
The BIG question about WHO is pushing people into the river? And thinking more proactively to reduce the pressures on the system.
Managing burnout on a systems-wide scale and being the change we wish to see (for a refresher of our Dare to Lead series, check out S1E19 -S1E27!)
Being harmed by witnessing harm to others and managing the hard days
Processing through the hard things rather than pushing past or ignoring them
What it looks like to find meaningful connection in the midst of the work
The value of THERAPY (are we seeing a theme??)
Not being mad at the rose, changing the soil

Episode Challenge:

Additional Resources:

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Voices from the Front Lines with Paramedic, Steven (Summer Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 05 Jul 2022 06:55:00 -0700

Today I am joined by Steven. Steven is currently a licensed paramedic with Harris County Emergency Corps, a 911 EMS agency in Houston, Texas, his native home. With 15 years in healthcare, he lives by his fraternity’s motto of providing service without expectation. After his time as a Hospital Corpsman in the Navy, Steven went on to obtain undergraduate degrees in EMS, his master’s degree in healthcare administration and is currently working towards completing his doctorate. With a goal of creating health policies that helps everyone, Steven hopes to one day work alongside congressional leaders where his talents and abilities can really be helpful to those in the EMS field. His hobbies include research, bowling, mentoring, and traveling. Along with being a lifelong learner, Steven has also been known to pass along his knowledge with his passion for teaching in the field of EMS.

Steven and I are diving in to the expectations and surprises of entering front line work. We also touch on working as a member of the BIPOC community (check out his awesome article about being a black paramedic below!), the highs and lows of the work, and investing in making a difference in the future of the profession. Check out some of the highlights:

Navy Corpsman, Paramedic, PhD student looking to impact policy and change the world
Changing the world by rising the ranks, and exerting influence from a position of authority for good rather than evil/neutral – yep, we talk about Brené Brown and “Dare to Lead” (go back and check out S1E19 -S1E27 to hear all about the series we covered on the topic of changing Front Line Work from the inside out!)
The difference between expectations entering the work (TV made me think…) vs the reality (turns out it’s not all trauma!) and community care.
Being from the BIPOC community - working to build diversity in the profession and facing challenges in being seen.
The joy of teaching and growing the profession. Being a gatekeeper and supporting next generations in being a better version of the profession. The benefits to the teacher of teaching – being made better by the experience of teaching.
The big wins and the regrets.
The tools to stay sustainable – heads up, the answer is THERAPY! …And self-care (shocking, right!?!).
Top advice: Take some time off. Think about yourself, allow yourself to matter, you are a limited resource, do things that keep you ok.
Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide – click here to grab it! Use it over and over, try it monthly-quarterly to help assess risks for burnout and catch it before it gets too big.
Yes, we talk more about Brené Brown, because she’s worth it and her work is GOLD.

Episode Challenge:

Additional Resources:

Check out Steven’s article, “My Experience as a Black Paramedic” here.

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Escape Hatch with Artillery Gunner Turned Entrepreneur & Social Activist, Kelsi (Escape Hatch Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 28 Jun 2022 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:
I am thrilled to be joined today by Canadian Armed Forces veteran, artillery gunner, Kelsi Sheren who is now the founder and CEO of Brass & Unity, a jewelry company on a mission to support mental health and wellness for veterans and first responders. Kelsi, a survivor of PTSD as a result of her service, had to shift gears in a big way and has done some incredible things in launching a business in the fashion industry, pivoting to meet the changing demands through a pandemic, all the while donating a percentage of all profits to organizations that support veterans and first responders. I have been waiting to have Kelsi on for the perfect episode, and this is it!

Check out Kelsi and Brass & Unity:
https://www.instagram.com/kelsie_sheren/
https://www.instagram.com/brassandunity/
https://brassandunity.com/
Brass & Unity book
Fashion Magazine Article

Episode Challenge:

Register now for the Self-Care Dare 5 Day Challenge for First Responders & Front Line Workers. This will be the last time we run the Dare as a live 5 day challenge, so jump in while you still can. You'll get 5 days of video lessons that are quick but intensive guides through 5 key domains of self-care. We peel off all the fluff about self-care and dig into the heart of what it really means to care for your self with intention and consistency. From there, you'll also get a ton of worksheets and brainstorm prompts to help you map out your own personalized self-care plan that you can take and adapt as your life continues to evolve and change. And finally, you get access to a private facebook group where we will connect through all 5 days to deepen the learning, personalize insights and ensure that you carry what you learn along with you for the long haul. Previous students of the Dare have reached out months and even years later to share about how what they learned continues to make a difference in their lives TODAY...and that includes our incredible guest last week, Mariah. The dare is only $10 to join, you get lifetime access to the videos and materials, and I hope you will join me! Click here to register now. Registration closes at 11:59pm PST on Monday July 4th and the Dare kicks off for those who take the leap, bright and early on Tuesday July 5th. Invest in you, register now.

Additional Resources:

Check out Kelsi and Brass & Unity:
https://www.instagram.com/kelsie_sheren/
https://www.instagram.com/brassandunity/
https://brassandunity.com/
Brass & Unity book
Fashion Magazine Article

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Escape Hatch with 911 Dispatcher, Maria (Escape Hatch Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 21 Jun 2022 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:
Today I am joined by Maria Pelletier, former Ambulance Communications Officer now working in dispatch at a Fire Department in Southwestern Ontario and acting as an Account Coordinator and Social Media Manager for CRACKYL Magazine (Firefighter lifestyle and health magazine that focuses on the individual rather than the industry). PTSD survivor and single mom of 2 girls. Juggling all the bits with determination and grace. Listen in as we talk about her learning and experience in needing an escape hatch and the ways in which she discovered prioritizing her wellness without continuing to sacrifice her self. Info about Maria is below under Additional Resources!

Episode Challenge:

Register now for the Self-Care Dare 5 Day Challenge for First Responders & Front Line Workers. This will be the last time we run the Dare as a live 5 day challenge, so jump in while you still can. You'll get 5 days of video lessons that are quick but intensive guides through 5 key domains of self-care. We peel off all the fluff about self-care and dig into the heart of what it really means to care for your self with intention and consistency. From there, you'll also get a ton of worksheets and brainstorm prompts to help you map out your own personalized self-care plan that you can take and adapt as your life continues to evolve and change. And finally, you get access to a private facebook group where we will connect through all 5 days to deepen the learning, personalize insights and ensure that you carry what you learn along with you for the long haul. Previous students of the Dare have reached out months and even years later to share about how what they learned continues to make a difference in their lives TODAY...and that includes our incredible guest today, Mariah. The dare is only $10 to join, you get lifetime access to the videos and materials, and I hope you will join me! Click here to register now. Registration closes at 11:59pm PST on Monday July 4th and the Dare kicks off for those who take the leap, bright and early on Tuesday July 5th. Invest in you, register now.

Additional Resources:

Check our Maria's work with Crakyl magazine:

https://crackylmag.com
https://www.instagram.com/crackylmag/
https://www..twitter.com/crackylm
https://www.facebook.com/crackylmag/

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Escape Hatch with Entrepreneurial Firefighter, Mike (Escape Hatch Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 14 Jun 2022 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:
Today I am joined by Mike Pertz, an American Firefighter and entrepreneur. Mike is the owner of firefighternow.com as well as the face of firefighternow on YouTube. His work focuses on supporting preparedness for prospective and new fire service members in starting out their careers.

Mike and I talk today about the challenges associated with front line work, the need for an escape hatch, and ways in which he has developed an escape hatch in his life. We talk about the bait of the pension, the need for reclaiming control, and practical ways to build out a personalized escape hatch plan. Check out Mike's blog post about great escape hatch ideas for firefighters, here.

Episode Challenge:

During this episode we talk about the need for "pause points" - intentional times that we set aside on a semi-regular basis to do a self-check in and make efforts to adjust and adapt our approach in an effort to ensure we're moving in the direction we want to go. Take some time to sit with your calendar and plan in a time to do this quarterly for the coming year. PUT IT IN YOUR CALENDAR! And when it comes around, allocate and hour or so to review where you're at, consider where you hope to be and what needs to happen to get from where you are to where you're going. Use our free Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide to help assess your mental health status and guide decisions to promote your wellness. Signing up for this resource is also how you can jump on our email list where we’ll send you reminders up new podcast episodes and bonus resources.

Additional Resources:

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The Backup Plan (Escape Hatch Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 07 Jun 2022 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

In your line of work, you are trained to be prepared for the worst. You train for the worst case scenarios, you anticipate and plan for these, so that anything short of this will be easy peasy. All I’m asking us to do is the same as it relates to your career plan. When people go into front line work with the conscious, or not-so-conscious expectation that they are going to stay in it until they retire, they tend to get caught in a stuck place when they discover that their mental health, their physical health, their relationships and their lives are increasingly suffering as a result. I’m not saying that everyone ends up here and that it’s impossible to make it to retirement age working in this field, but what I AM saying is that putting all your eggs into this one basket is treacherous when we know the stats.

During this series you will be hearing from some fantastic guests who are sharing their individual paths to creating their own escape hatches. Some of them have pulled the rip cord and exited the work, opting to shift gears into other passions; and others remain in the work and seek to balance out the weight of the work by having some side-hustles that give them an exit for if or when they might need it. For today, I want to open the topic and make the argument for why we need to be considering our own personal escape hatch. I also want to offer a few suggestions for what you can be thinking about to help apply this in your own world.

When I talk with First Responders and Front Line Workers in my daily life – whether it’s clients in my office, or friends in my personal life – I tend to hear about a few major stumbling blocks when it comes to the work. These are the things that suck us into the work and can keep us stuck, even when we’re noticing that it’s coming at a significant personal cost.

1. The benefits tend to be pretty good. While never ideal or perfect, many front line professions benefit from pretty decent extended medical plans that feel hard to turn down or walk away from, especially if you have kids in braces!
2. The vacation time. Most front line professions operate under a seniority system, so the more hours you’ve put in the more prioritized you are when selecting vacation days. It is hard to imagine giving this up to start back at 1 in a different career or with a different employer.
3. The pension. The ever-present yet elusive carrot dangled to keep you in for as long as possible. I hear about this one a LOT. If I just put in 5 more, 7 more, 12 more years, then I’ll get that sweet, sweet pension and I will be able to live my dreams…travel, spend time with my kids and grandkids, do fun activities… Someday.

Now let me say that none of these are bad things to anchor to or bad reasons to stay in whatever kind of work you do. These are legitimate factors that absolutely need to play into your decision making. That said, so does your health and wellness. Because none of these things are going to matter much if you aren’t well enough to benefit from them.

This is the thing that really gets to me: how often I hear front line workers who were a couple of years away from retirement how have had to go off due to PTSD or related OSI’s, share that they realize now that while they will have the pension (or close to what they planned for), their ability to enjoy it will be compromised due to their symptoms and related limitations. Their plans to travel feel tripped up by their acquired panic related to being in enclosed spaces. Their interest in connecting more with family is compromised by their persistent triggering in social situations. Their desire to do more activities feels turned on its head thanks to chronic agitation, hypervigilance and tension that limits enjoyment of most pursuits. I also hear, all to often, about reflections of others in their professions – how so and so retired and then was almost immediately diagnosed with cancer or some other terminal illness; or how such and such co-worker retired and three months later died of a heart attack. The amount of time I spend in a week hearing stories of feeling baited by the dangled carrot of the pension will never cease to amaze me…because somehow it continues to lure and trick people into sacrificing so much of their lives in hopes that they will be the exception.

So, when we talk about considering what it looks like to craft your own personal escape hatch, we’re talking about finding ways to lean more intentionally and strategically into your values in an effort to reap the payoff that helps to balance out your life and energy more effectively and sustainably. I think there are three primary reasons to consider an escape hatch:

1. Your mental and physical health. We have talked SO many times on this show about the impacts of persistent stress, both on your mental health as well as on your physical wellbeing. In addition to stress and high degrees of exposure risking things like PTSD, you are also in a line of work that is more exposed to actual physical threat and are more likely to suffer from work-related illnesses or pain concerns. Investing in an escape hatch, whether you ever pull the rip cord and really make the leap from your front line work all the way into something else, or not, allows you to consider what matters to you and to invest intentionally into aspects of you that can support more global health.
2. Your financial health. I often see people off work and on reduced income due to being on WorkSafe or Long Term Disability. They never expected to be faced with this limit on their income earning ability. They are used to picking up overtime whenever something breaks down and needs fixing. And suddenly, they are in a big pickle. Now the pressure is even higher to get back to work and stay in the work at all cost, because the losses of a time off work have been so high. Having alternatives and investing in other areas of your life that have some kind of financial reward can be huge in supporting you through a time where your income is reduced. Not only that, having interests that aren’t necessarily paid (for example, coaching a sports team or volunteering with an organization) can again contribute as a buffer to the impact of the work you do, keeping you more balanced and less likely to need to go off work.
3. To be a legitimate plan B. I hope you never need it. My wish for you is to have a long and rewarding, fulfilling career… But just in case you need it, it would be good to have an alternative you could jump to if you really needed to. And it would be great to have it there and ready to go instead of being in a desperate moment of realizing that you have put all your eggs in a basket that is tumbling down and crashing.

With all of that in mind, let’s talk about how you can start considering what an escape hatch might look like for you. There are 3 steps you can start taking right now that can help set you in the right direction.

1. Talk with a financial advisor. Every person on earth, no matter how much or how little they make, should speak with a financial advisor. I don’t care if you invest or don’t, if you have a lot in your bank account or just a little – the reality is that financial advisors are able to help you anticipate and make reasonable guesstimates better than you are likely trained to do on your own. I have heard many stories of people believing they had to work another 10 years to be able to retire, only to speak with a qualified advisor and learn that all of their goals would be possible in 2-3 years if they made a couple strategic choices. Do...

Bi-Lateral Stimulation (May Mini's Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 31 May 2022 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes
Our brains are made up of 2 hemispheres - right and left - which operate relatively separately from one another. These two halves are connected by a bundle of nerves (the corpus collosum) which acts as a relay station, passing information back and forth and helping your brain to organize and be responsive to information. Like any relay station, your corpus collosum can get bombarded with too much data and this can cause it to slow down and overload. To help it we can do a couple of quick and easy exercises that can support it in getting information flowing more efficiently and effectively, meaning your brain can get back to giving you its best. Known as bi-lateral stimulation, these couple of skills are used commonly in trauma therapy and have been incorporated into protocols for EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization & Reprocessing), a well-known and highly effective therapeutic treatment intervention for trauma processing along with other mental health treatment and benefits. While it looks "stupidly simple", it can do a ton to help our brains give back to us -- try it!!

Episode Challenge:
Try using these bi-lateral stimulation exercises whenever your stress, anxiety or reactive responses (ie. triggering, etc.) starts to ramp up. If you were to put your stress/anxiety/etc. on a scale of 1-10, where 1 is no stress and 10 is the worst most devastating degree of stress, these tools do best in the 4-7 range, although can also be useful at the higher end along with other grounding skills (refer to previous May Mini's episodes).

Struggling with emotions, mood and dysregulation? Feeling not yourself and having a hard time snapping out of it?? Use our free Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide to self-assess your risks for burnout and to make some adjustments to support resilience, wellness and sustainability.

Additional Resources:

Learn more about the Beating the Breaking Point Resilience Series & Survival Guide – a complete program that offers a step by step road map to build a plan for sustainability and wellness, designed just for First Responders & Front Line Workers and the challenges you face. This program was painstakingly developed to fill the gaps in your training and shows you how to invest strategically in YOU, so that you can continue to invest so much into others and your community. We make registering for this program as risk free as possible, and offer group pricing for 10+ participant staff training. Click the link above to learn more and register, or reach out to support@thrive-life.ca with any questions and for group rates.

Connect, Rate, Review, Subscribe & Share!

Connect with me on Facebook and Instagram, or email me at support@thrive-life.ca. I love hearing from you! Subscribe and share this podcast with those you know. I appreciate every like, rating and review – every single one helps this podcast to be seen by other First Responders & Front Line Workers out there. Please share to those you know and help me on my mission to help others just like you to not only survive, but to thrive – both on the job and off.

Sensory (May Mini's Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 24 May 2022 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes
Our brains and bodies operate on a feedback loop. When something stressful happens, our brain knows about it because our bodies give a cascade of responses that alert that something's up - and when our brain believes we're in stress, it tells our bodies to be on high alert. When we are in persistent stress, this feedback loop starts to have a hard time knowing what safety, calm and ok feel like. We can help teach our system to regulate and find a way back to ok, not in the BIG sweeping choices we make day to day, but in the little in-between moments. Today we're talking about ways to use our 5 senses to promote regulation for our bodies AND brains and use this feedback system to our advantage in giving ourselves an out from the stress cycle.

I mentioned "binaural beats" in this episode - check out your preferred app store and search binaural beats to try this out. Works best with headphones/earbuds!

Episode Challenge:
Get curious about what senses your body values and start EXPERIMENTING with different tools to see what helps. Here are the ground rules: you have to try something more than once to find out if it helps or hinders! These are small adjustments so you need to try for a bit before you can tell if it's making a difference. Compare it to eating salad one time and hoping you drop 10 pounds...it's not going to happen, but if you make that adjustment every day for several days and weeks, it will add up to getting you to your goal. This is the same deal, use these skills throughout the day and you'll see the pay off.

Additional Resources:

Connect, Rate, Review, Subscribe & Share!

Connect with me on Facebook and Instagram, or email me at support@thrive-life.ca. I love hearing from you! Subscribe and share this podcast with those you know. I appreciate every like, rating and review – every single one helps this podcast to be seen by other First Responders & Front Line Workers out there. Please share to those you know and help me on my mission to help others just like you to not only survive, but to thrive – both on the job and off.

Grounding (May Mini's Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 17 May 2022 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes
Two more tools to add to your growing toolkit for stress management, emotion regulation and mental health support. Today we are covering 2 skills used for grounding and helping our brains to be more present. These are super useful when struggling with panic, anxiety, high stress or difficulty regulating emotions. These two exercises help turn your prefrontal cortex ON which helps to counter-balance your stress center. They are also AWESOME to try with kids when they are struggling to regulate - I swear by these at my house!

5-4-3-2-1
Name 5 things you see, 5 things you hear, 5 things you feel (tactile touch, NOT emotional feelings)...
...then 4 of each ...then 3 of each ...then 2 of each ...then 1 of each.

Alphabet Game
Choose a category (eg. fruits and vegetables; movie titles; actors/actresses; song titles; singers/bands; countries; etc.) and work through that category from A-Z trying to find one word within that category for each letter of the alphabet. If you get stuck, skip and move on -- no one is judging your ability to find a word for each and every letter, we're just trying to get your prefrontal cortex to activate, so if you are stuck on a letter and it's ADDING stress, skip it!

Episode Challenge:
Try one or both of these exercises when you feel like your emotions or mood are getting the better of you. The more consistent you are in using them, the better they'll work, so try to notice when you tend to feel more dysregulated and work to bridge these activities into these times/spaces/situations. It might be helpful to write them down on some sticky notes and put them in key places where you would see them when feeling dysregulated - like on your dashboard if you get stressed while driving, or on your shopping list if you struggle in stores, etc. You can also tell a loved one about this so they can help prompt you to initiate the activity and you can turn it into a game together!

Struggling with emotions, mood and dysregulation? Use our free Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide to self-assess your risks for burnout and to make some adjustments to support resilience, wellness and sustainability.

Additional Resources:

Connect, Rate, Review, Subscribe & Share!

Connect with me on Facebook and Instagram, or email me at support@thrive-life.ca. I love hearing from you! Subscribe and share this podcast with those you know. I appreciate every like, rating and review – every single one helps this podcast to be seen by other First Responders & Front Line Workers out there. Please share to those you know and help me on my mission to help others just like you to not only survive, but to thrive – both on the job and off.

Relaxation (May Mini's Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 10 May 2022 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes
Check out this weeks mini episode - a quick coping tool you can use TODAY! Try this progressive muscle relaxation exercise and allow the tension to melt away. This episode is best enjoyed from the comfort of a cozy chair, or another quiet and comfy spot - probably not great while driving or operating other heavy machinery!!

Episode Challenge:
Try this exercise 2-3 times this week and notice how you feel before, during, and after the exercise. Tweak and adapt any parts that you feel aren't working for you, but try to keep this up for at least 2 weeks and see how you feel. Try to be strategic about when you might put this activity into your day (great as part of a work wind-down routine before walking into your house, or as part of a bedtime routine!), and be considerate about where you set yourself up to ensure that you have the quiet and calm environment that will help this exercise give you the most bang for your buck.

Struggling with a LOT of tension? Use our free Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide to self-assess your risks for burnout and to make some adjustments to support resilience, wellness and sustainability.

Additional Resources:

Connect, Rate, Review, Subscribe & Share!

Connect with me on Facebook and Instagram, or email me at support@thrive-life.ca. I love hearing from you! Subscribe and share this podcast with those you know. I appreciate every like, rating and review – every single one helps this podcast to be seen by other First Responders & Front Line Workers out there. Please share to those you know and help me on my mission to help others just like you to not only survive, but to thrive – both on the job and off.

Worry Jar (May Mini's Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 03 May 2022 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:
Your turn! Watch the video, listen to the audio and then put it into practice. Choose 10-20 minutes ideally daily, but at least 2-3 times in a week, and try the worry jar activity described in today's episode. You can use scrap paper ripped into strips and a tupperware container, or fancy it up and make it special with some pretty or fun coloured paper and a nice mason jar or a cool box from the hobby store. Spend some time identifying the things you are worried about (externalize them outside of your head), and then spend some dedicated time worrying about them without other distractions. Give your brain the chance to get it's worries out, so it doesn't try to force your worries on you in the quiet hours of the evening as you try to get to sleep! Try this exercise consistently for at least 2 weeks and notice what benefits come from it - are you falling asleep a bit quicker? A little less easily agitated with people around you? A bit more calm? Does your fitbit show that your resting heart rate has gone down a bit? Less tension in your neck and shoulders or stomach? The more consistent you are, the more you'll stand to gain.

Episode Challenge:
Do the damn thing!! See the show notes above and take the challenge!

Self-assess your risks for burnout and get some pointers to help prevent/reduce the impacts of burnout by clicking here to download our free Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide.

Additional Resources:

Learn more about the Beating the Breaking Point Resilience Series & Survival Guide – a complete program that offers a step by step road map to build a personalized plan for sustainability and wellness, designed just for First Responders & Front Line Workers and the challenges you face. If you like Behind the Line, you are going to LOVE Beating the Breaking Point!

Connect, Rate, Review, Subscribe & Share!

Managing Guilt (On Leave Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 26 Apr 2022 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

Today we are finishing up our On Leave series – we are going to focus on managing guilt and other tough feelings that tend to come up when we’re away from the work we have loved and been committed to doing. Whether we’re off work due to injury, illness, mental health concern or some other reason, being off often comes with a host of emotions – big and small, obvious and more innocuous, that can disrupt our ability to focus on recovering and can force us to struggle more when we’re trying so hard to pick ourselves up.

When I first sat down to outline the On Leave series, I intended for this episode to be a conversation about self-care and how this needs to adapt when we’re off work. But as I started getting into the details of the series and this episode, I realized that while self-care is a piece, what we actually need to talk about is bigger – deeper. We need to talk about the yucky stuff that lives underneath that tends to make the time off really tricky, and can prevent us from being able to utilize self-care strategies and adapt them to our needs. What is the dark underbelly I’m referring to? Well… guilt, shame, neglect, abandonment, loneliness, identity… these are the heavy hitters on the list.

Let’s take these one at a time and talk about how they tend to show up most commonly in being off work, and then we’ll work at talking about how we try to move through them and make our way to something more recovery-oriented.

Guilt. Guilt is a feeling whose job it is to let us know that we have done something wrong. Appropriate guilt shows up when we have violated someone else’s boundary and behaved in a way that is contradictory to our own values. It’s the emotion that causes us sufficient discomfort to move us toward apologizing, making amends and being accountable. It is what helps us drive change within ourselves in order to live more in alignment with who we see ourselves as being and how we wish for others to experience us. Guilt, when appropriate, is actually a really helpful emotion that allows us to have morality and ethic – it guides us in engaging in ways that are principled and grants us the capacity to have a relatively functioning society.

Now, you may have noticed that I used the word “appropriate” a couple of times in there to describe guilt that is meaningful and helpful. The challenge with guilt is that we can have a tendency to inappropriately generalize it to situations where it doesn’t belong. We can “feel badly” for what we perceive to be a problem, even if it’s not – or if it’s not our problem to feel badly about. Here’s an example: I often hear people who are in First Response and Front Line Work roles share that they feel guilty for going off work when they are fully aware of the staffing crisis their specific workplace and profession are facing. The guilt weighs heavy on them and the wrestle to use the time off to focus on their own wellness and recovery because they are wracked with the emotional burden of guilt surrounding removing themselves from the staffing rotation. The problem with this is that going off work isn’t violating anyone’s boundary. Feeling guilt for going off work doesn’t serve anyone in terms of having accountability and amends and repair and moving forward with changed behaviours. The guilt for this is not yours – it belongs with the system that fails to staff appropriately, or under recruits; it belongs with the upper-level directors and managers who have failed to offer more support and manage staff retention; it belongs to the professions that have limited access to entering the field; it belongs to the government level funding limitations… guilt for the staffing shortages belongs in a lot of places, but it doesn’t belong with you.

Look, I get it. It’s hard to be off work and hear from co-workers about how they are drowning. It’s hard to not be emotionally connected to that. We’re empathic and we feel a sense of awareness of what it feels like to be in their shoes. Yet we, as one singular person, are not going to be the difference between drowning and thriving. And we can’t help others if we’re not ok.

The trickiest thing about guilt is that we have culturally tied it in many ways to another feeling: shame. If you haven’t read Brené Brown’s work yet, do it. This is her wheelhouse. She and others who research shame have identified over and over again that shame is the one feeling that offers nothing. Guilt communicates something to us, it says that that thing I said or did was hurtful and not ok, and I need to work to repair that. Shame says that because I said or did that thing that was hurtful, that there must be something wrong with me, that I am bad. Guilt gives us the discomfort to move us toward repair. Shame just undermines our sense of self, and it can rob us of feeling like we have worth. Guilt has the power to move us toward an outcome that is connective and healing. Shame serves zero positive function, it only erodes.

I often find myself drawing the difference between guilt and shame for clients, and it frequently feels revelatory to consider that guilt – an uncomfortable emotion – serves a meaningful function; and that shame – an all-too-familiar and even more uncomfortable emotion – only serves to harm us and others. When I allow shame to have a voice in my head, it not only undermines my internal sense of worth, value and meaning, but from that place it impacts how I am likely to show up in my world – which vicariously robs others of what I might otherwise bring to the table. Shame makes us play small and fearfully. It makes us worried about how others will see us and terrified that they might see what I fear is true of me. It makes us pull back and hide in the shadows for fear of being fully seen and exposed. This feels simultaneously protective of my shame and totally isolating and lonely.

When I talk with people who are off work, especially from helping professions, there is a lot of pride that comes with the work they do. It feels like it means something about them that they do the job they do. And that’s cool…mostly…but then it also feels like it means something about them when they CAN’T do what they did for a period of time, or perhaps ever again. This has a tendency to elicit self-judgements and a shit ton of shame. It means I can’ hack it, I’m not strong enough, I failed, and so on. When we think about sitting in these feelings and self-thoughts, it doesn’t seem like the greatest place from which to experience healing and recovery, does it?

On top of guilt and shame connected to being off work and how we make meaning of ourselves for being off work; we can also face another set of emotional challenges: neglect, abandonment and loneliness. All too often I hear people who are off work share about how they wrestle with the discrepancy between what their work team meant to them when they were working, versus how that same team ghosted once they went off. Unfortunately this is a really common experience. First response and front line workplaces tend to language concepts like “brotherhood” and “family” into their workplace identities. They focus heavily on “having each others backs”. They are often professions where we spend a disproportionate amount of time together compared to other kinds of job, and we spend it entrenched in stress where it is an “us against the world” approach to interacting with whatever comes our way today. While all of this can contribute to really bonded workplace teams, it can also feel really difficult for those who exit this dynamic to take a leave from work. We can feel out of the loop, not included and forgotten. Some workplaces are...

Refining Self-Advocacy (On Leave Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 19 Apr 2022 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

Today we are talking about self-advocacy. We’re going to dig in to the difficulties people tend to have with self-advocating, the need for it in time off work, and how to go about refining these skills to implement them on behalf of ourselves well.

So let’s open with what it means to self-advocate. Self-advocacy means clearly identifying our needs and clearly expressing those needs to others in an effort to have them met.

Here are some of the major stumbling blocks to self-advocacy:

1. We are bad at knowing our needs.
2. We are bad at serving our needs.
3. We aren’t great at communicating and expressing our needs effectively to others.

Ok, so when it comes to self-advocacy, step one is to know what you need. To be able to clearly identify your needs does not just magically happen. Despite the fact that we spend all day with ourselves, we are not great at taking the time and space to slow our rolls and get to know ourselves.

The thing about knowing needs is that it takes time and investment. Think about how you’ve learned what any person in your life has ever needed ever. Likely you have taken the time to notice or ask or walk alongside their journey to observe and recognize their needs. You recognize feedback from when you’ve stumbled into doing something that serves their needs well, and the feedback that comes from when we fudged it up. We take that and track it so that we can offer the best we can to the people we care about and reduce the things that really don’t work for them.

It is the same for us. We need to carve out time and space to explore and examine our own needs. We need to enter this time and space with curiosity and openness. This is not a one and done – needs change and evolve as we do – so we need to check in with ourselves on a semi-regular basis to see what new needs have developed, what old needs are no longer feeling necessary, and adjusting our meeting of needs to adapt to how they flex. When it comes to examining and identifying needs I have a few tips:

1. Start with basics. If this process feels big and overwhelming, start with the most basic building blocks first and grow from there. Think about your basic needs like sleep, nutrition, movement, hydration, and connection.
2. Notice others. We tend to be better at noticing the needs of others than our own, so take some time to observe others in your life. What needs to they indicate having? Ones that they serve for themselves or that they ask others to serve with them? What needs bring out a sense of “oh man that sounds SO good!” when you hear about them or cause a reflection of “goodness, I really should be doing that.”?
3. Observe yourself. Notice where you feel disappointed by others for not mind-reading your needs. Observe when you feel let down by yourself or those around you. Take notice of times where your mood shifts and be curious about what need this might be indicating. A quick tip is that many emotions serve the function of highlighting unmet needs, so recognizing moments where emotions feel disproportionate to a situation or more intense than they would normally are some solid prompts to alert you to some needs that require more attention.
4. Remain curious. Needing is a fact of living as a human in this world. Being needless isn’t a thing, it’s not possible. Allow yourself to enter this process with ongoing curiosity and try to manage any self-judgement that comes up along the way. I know that in my life I can get critical of the amount of down-time I need, and yet when I don’t meet this need it negatively impacts everyone in my life. I get curious about variations of down-time that work for me and I experiment with this as this evolves over time, but I know that I need it and try to find acceptance that this is my need given all that I am asking myself to do the rest of the time.

Once we identify our needs, the next step is to DO something with them. That’s right, it is not enough to name it, we have to serve it – otherwise it remains a need crying out for attention, which will tend to show up in less and less convenient ways in various parts of our lives. I mean, that’s the real thing about needs, they aren’t wants, they are NEEDS. Our bodies and minds are demanding them and will take action against us to emphasize their demands if we fail to pay attention or actively ignore for too long. This can look like increased irritability, volatile emotions and mood swings, extreme overwhelm or extreme numbing or disconnection, and a whole lot more.

When it comes to prioritizing and engaging with our needs, here are my suggestions:

1. Brainstorm. Let’s say that I need to get more sleep, that’s the need I’ve identified. The reality is there are lots of ways to meet that need, and I may need to do one or some or all of them to satiate the need I have. I might need to go to bed earlier which might mean changing some of my evening routine to work toward settling down to bedtime at a different time. I may need to work on the quality of my sleep rather than the quantity and this might mean exploring melatonin or medical sleep aids. I may need to shift my morning routine to sleep a little longer if that’s when my best sleep happens is in the morning. I may need to track my sleep to get a better sense of where the struggle is. I may need to ask for help and seek out a sleep expert to get a handle on my sleep. I may need to do some trauma therapy work to reduce nightmares and panic waking… There are a ton of interventions to work at meeting the very general need of getting more sleep. Brainstorming these, actually writing them down and coming up with more than just one version of how it looks to meet a need can be really helpful in making our starting point feel more accessible. Once I have a solid list of ideas, I get to pick and choose one or a couple to start with, and like we’ve already discussed, I can check in and review and then add or make adjustments where needed.
2. Start somewhere and build from there. Let’s use an example like recognizing that I need to drink more water in a day. How much water? How can I know where my sweet spot is? Well, let’s start by making some specific rituals like drinking a full glass of water when I wake up in the morning, taking a large water bottle with me and finishing it by the end of my work day, and drinking one full glass of water with each meal. This would be a pretty solid starting point and likely some of these are times I’m already having a glass of water. From here, I’m going to agree to doing this for a couple of weeks or a month and then checking in with myself to see how I’m feeling and if I need to adapt this further. This is really anchored to the idea that something is better than nothing and taking small steps in a direction matters as it accrues over time.
3. Incremental steps. Research has shown repeatedly that incremental steps are more effective at sustaining behavioural change than big sweeping ones. Do NOT try to change your sleep, your diet, your exercise, your friendships, and a whole bunch of other things all at once. It’s tempting, I know, to feel overwhelmed by the degree to which your needs have gone unmet when you start really looking at them. Seeing how far we feel we have to go from where we are if we haven’t paid close attention to our needs can feel stagg...

Developing Self-Direction Skills (On Leave Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 12 Apr 2022 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

We are continuing our series around being on leave and how we can support ourselves in recovering well while off work. Whether we’re off work for a physical injury or a work-related mental health concern, we discussed last week that the experience of being off work can be trying and difficult. Without a plan and intention to ensure the best outcomes possible, we can be left floundering and this can either create or exacerbate things like depression, anxiety, hopelessness, and/or uncertainty and can magnify things like sleep concerns, meeting basic needs like nutrition and movement, isolating from relationships, and feeling detached from interests, hobbies and activities. Total honesty, without a plan, going off work can be a recipe for disaster – not because it needs to be, but because no one guides us through it. No one lays out for us the challenges we’re likely to face and the tricks for circumnavigating these with the least amount of friction possible. That is, until now. I hope that this series gives you tools that allow you to feel like whether you are in a time off work or considering going off or concerned that someday you may have to go off, that you will have the ability to walk that journey with awareness, foresight and capacity. I hope you’ll feel prepared for the stumbling blocks to watch for and feel equipped with tools to side step them or reduce their degree of impact, allowing you to use a time off work to focus on your actual job, which is to recover, and that you would have what you need to do that WELL.

On last week’s episode I named the most common concerns I hear about from the many clients I have served over the past many years who have been off work due to various injuries and mental health concerns. The very first challenge I called out in the episode was the difficulty we as people face with self-motivation/self-directed decisions. And that’s what we’re diving deeper today.

I shared last week that most of us have been trained from very young to experience motivation from external sources. The amount of time we are left in a day to do self-directed things is pretty limited. We’ll be picking up some pieces from James Clear’s book, Atomic Habits. Find the link to the book and his Ted Talk in the “Additional Resources” section below.

· The Backward Myth of Motivation: Here’s the backward myth about motivation. We have been taught to believe that motivation is a magical unicorn that spontaneously shows up one day. We treat it the same as inspiration. It is this random thing that strikes and is awesome but then leaves and we sink. Here’s the backward part: motivation does not come before action. Motivation comes as the result of action. As we do a damn thing, we feel increasingly motivated to continue doing the damn thing. But it starts with the doing, not with the magical feeling of being motivated to do. And here’s the myth part: that we need motivation in order to take action. That we are somehow reliant on feeling this magical unicorn feeling as a prerequisite to taking an action.

· Benchmarks: You have likely always had some benchmarks that marked the course of your day. When you wake up, when you eat meals, when you do certain activities, when you go to sleep. Likely these have, to some extent, been dictated by outside factors. At one time in life your parents told you when to do these things, then an employer told you when you had to be at work and you made the other pieces fall around that. While off work, the benchmarks often quickly fall to the wayside. Sleeping in until random times, having nowhere to go and nothing specific to do any given day, not participating in regular routines like getting dressed, brushing teeth and hair and preparing for the day within certain time parameters all become tempting.

· Incentives: We are most likely to have successful outcomes when we experience small rewards that keep us in the game. Especially as we work to develop, implement and maintain new routines, it is important that we experience some incentives. Human brains are wired to engage with things that feel rewarding – which is part of why we tend to fall off of the bandwagon around routines and other kinds of personal growth changes pretty quickly – they feel hard and if they don’t come with some immediate and ongoing wins our brains struggle to stay in it. When off work and trying to develop an internal drive to do the things that are good for us, it takes effort and intention and just straight up work. It can be tiring and lack any sense of immediate reward or value. If we want to be able to do this well, we’re going to need to stack the deck in our own favor and this means coming up with ideas of what feel rewarding to you – big and small things – and finding ways to sprinkle these into your days and weeks.

· Make it easy: James talks about making new habits easy for ourselves. He gives an example of wanting to develop a habit of playing guitar. In this example he suggests that you leave your guitar in the middle of your living room, making it something you are more likely to stumble upon several times in a day. If we take this idea and extrapolate it, really he’s talking about removing friction. It’s about reducing the barriers to doing the damn thing, and elevating our chances of being successful

· Limit the numbing: Too often I hear things like video games and TV to be the answer to this question. I also hear about alcohol, smoking, and other substance dependence use as means to pass the time. While these things can have some value here and there, these are not activities that should be occupying the vast majority of our time when we’re off work. Now, let me say that I totally get why they are the go-to things. They are easy, they can feel rewarding, we tie them to our impressions of relaxation and that feels good for a bit. They are accessible, and given the kind of work you do they are also delightfully mind-numbing, which is often the thing we crave when our brains have felt overstimulated from the work and just want to disconnect from life. Again, in small doses a lot of this is fair and fine – but when we have a lot of time on our hands, these pieces do not tend to help us, they tend to sink us.

· Find Productive/Meaningful Interests: Productivity and a sense of being contributory and meaningfully engaged in our own lives and our family’s life is actually a significant human need. We crave feeling a sense of purpose, clarity of expectations, and a path from where we are to where we want to be. Work likely filled this for you and without that thing we go to every day, we can struggle to identify other areas that can bring this out in us. So, we get a bit lackadaisical and veer towards activities that ask little of us, but also give little back to us.

This is actually one of the reasons I so strongly encourage you guys to work at developing interests and activities that bring you a sense of meaning outside of your work even when you’re working – because these are the things that can float you if you are ever off work. It’s so much easier to just keep doing or do more of things you already have in place. It is so much harder to explore and consider what you might do when you are in the thick of it and needing access to something that brings a sense of purpose and meaning quickly. Having hobbies and interests can give us something to focus on that can be not only a great way to fill the time off work, but can actu...

Stumbling Blocks On Leave (On Leave Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 05 Apr 2022 06:00:00 -0700

Show Notes:

Today we are kicking off a new month with a new series and we’re focusing on how to survive and support sanity while off work. This is a topic that I have become very familiar with thanks to my extensive work as part of the WorkSafeBC provider network for almost a decade, as well as my work with clients through ICBC and other long term disability groups. I have walked alongside so many clients who have struggled with the experience of being off work, and I know that some of you listening may have taken leaves from work in the past, are on a leave right now, or are considering taking a leave. I know that many are struggling to stay at work right now given the ongoing degree of pressure and demand along with short staffing and high exposure, so this topic feels particularly relevant right now. I’m going to try to make this series applicable to any off work experiences – whether that’s for a mental health concern, or a physical injury, or even a maternity leave. You know I love practical, so my goal is to make this as practical and useful as possible. We’re going to call out the stumbling blocks that commonly show up when people are off work, especially when it’s for an extended period of time, and we’re going to talk about what to focus on and prioritize in an effort to keep your sanity and use the time off to recover well.

Our focus for this episode is to call out the common challenges facing those who are off work. I have seen these be fairly consistent regardless of the type of injury or reason for being off work, although certainly exacerbated by mental health concerns or injuries that restrict motivation or limit access to supports.

· Self-motivation or internal-motivation. The truth is, our culture and society have been shaped to drive external motivation. We have been trained from really young to be up at a certain time to get to school, where an adult directs our time and attention, and tells us when we get to eat and play and even go to the bathroom. We come home to adults who tend to direct our steps – put your shoes away, do your homework, eat your dinner, get ready for bed… Our experience of self-directed time through a significant part of our lives is really contained to a handful of hours spread throughout the day where we get to make some autonomous choices based on our interests. Even as adults, our time is directed by when I need to be at work, the expectations of my workplace which are externally determined and directed, and the obligations of home and adult life impose some amount of demand on our “off time” which continues to restrict our self-determined time to a pretty limited span. So, to be off work tends to shine a light on how we have failed to train ourselves to choose, direct and motivate our own time. Without an imposed routine carved out FOR us by work schedules and adult life demands, we can be left feeling like we’re floundering.

· Everything takes longer than expected. The reality is that the process of working with insurance providers is SLOW. Sometimes painfully slow. The layers of bureaucracy are heavily present and people are often surprised by the delays and the complexities in decision making and access to needed assessments, services and supports. Many people find that the pace further degrades their symptoms, leaving them suffering and lacking the support they need when they need it most. The truth is this is the nature of the beast, and only so much can be done about it. There are shortages in health and limited specialists and that is just the tip of the iceberg. The key here is knowing that the pace is slow. If you can walk in knowing that this is likely to be the case, it will hopefully shape more reasonable expectations. Talking with others you know about their experiences can help shape your expectations and help you get a sense of what “normal” looks like where you live. I will also say that this is a really good reason to be somewhat pro-active about the decision to go off work if it is for mental health related concerns. Often those struggling with depression, anxiety, posttraumatic stress, and so on, wait and waffle in the uncertainty of whether they really NEED to go off for some time before making the decision when things feel REALLY bad. Believe me, I get that it’s not an easy decision to make, but if we leave it until we are at our very lowest low and then the process takes time and ADDS stress, it is going to feel further harmful rather than helpful. If we can give ourselves permission to put the process in motion a little sooner, we may not be in such dire straights and desperation for support from a system that has difficulty meeting that degree of need quickly enough. Many of those I work with reflect this and share that they wish they had gone off sooner – both in terms of having a bit more left in the tank to face the challenges of the system when going off, as well as having a little less cumulative impact to work through to come out the other side.

· Confusion, uncertainty and fear of the big bad insurance company. The reality is that entering this kind of system puts a lot of power into the hands of people who don’t know you – and that can be terrifying. I’m not going to sugar coat it, this is absolutely a legitimate feeling and concern. Decisions around diagnoses, approved limitations and restrictions and determinations around return to work can be huge, life-altering decisions – and in this process many of these are out of your hands. The system is broken in a lot of different places, and so there are often challenges with clear communication, clarity of expectations, and a sense of next steps. This would be hard for anyone, regardless of the type of injury, but for those off for mental health related concerns or injuries impacting cognitive function such as head injuries, this can feel completely overwhelming. I see this a lot in my work – a client who is wrestling with severe anxiety or posttraumatic stress being left waiting with little information or communication is a situation that is going to obviously lead to worsened symptoms. The nature of the process can, in its own right, undermine the wellness of the person who is supposed to be focused on recovery.

I wish I had some quick-fix tips to make this particular piece easier. I don’t, unfortunately, but I can offer a couple of reflections. My experience working in insurance-affiliated care for a little over a decade is that I have seen more humanity in decisions than I expected to. I have connected with many claim managers who have shown tremendous empathy, who have worked diligently to advocate for workers, and I have even seen some bend the rules to benefit workers who really need that bit of extra support. I wish I could say this is a universal expectation you can have, but while it may not be universal I have seen it be far more common than I think most people expect when they are dealing with an insurance company. I have also seen a lot of growth in understanding within these companies. More and more of them are implementing mental health departments with staff getting specialized training in understanding and working to support people through mental health work-related concerns. As this has expanded I have seen the result of this being better care for those experiencing mental health related injuries. I have also seen greater understanding of what healing and recovery look like. For example, back in the day, it was somewhat frowned on for workers who were off work to participate in hobbies and activities – because if you can do that, why can’t you go to work?! But over the last several years, and I think through education ...

Normal Daily Living (Being Normal Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 29 Mar 2022 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:
Today I am delighted to be joined once again by TC Randall. He brings his wealth of wisdom as an emergency room nurse of 14 years, as well as his experiences of having gone off work with PTSD, all of which he details in his fantastic book, The View From The Wrong Side of The Day that you can check out here. Today we are talking about the impact of first response and front line work on our daily living activities. Hear us chat about...
- The impact of the adrenaline highs and lows on our capacity to engage in life outside of work
- Developing awareness, recognizing our own limits and keeping boundaries to protect ourselves
- Finding outlets and thinking back to what we used to connect with. Using close approximations to develop interests and outlets.
- How we tell stories shapes our reality; using empathy to contextualize people and balance the negative skew
- Acknowledging the systemic limitations that keep us stuck and the need to be rebels on the inside

Episode Challenge:

Reflect on where you’re at and what you might need by using our free Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide.

Additional Resources:

Check out TC's book here.
Check out the book recommendation TC offered during this episode (We're All Perfectly Fine, by Jillian Horton), here.

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Normal with Kids (Being Normal Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 22 Mar 2022 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

I am joined again today by an amazing guest who I am thrilled to get to explore the topic of "being normal" with our kiddos alongside. Child and Family Therapist, Registered Clinical Counsellor, Heather Toews is with me today. Heather has worked as a social worker doing child protection work, experienced her own burnout, transitioned to supporting adoptive families, and then transitioned to counselling with Child & Youth Mental Health as well as in private practice. Heather works from an attachment focus and has bravely ventured into creating a course to support parents who are striving to care for a child who has experienced trauma. I would invite you to check out the Trauma Attuned Parent Program if you, someone you know, or populations you work with, are caring for a child impacted by traumatic lived experiences. Her course is phenomenal and has been used by group homes for staff training as well as many families working to develop the skills to be therapeutic intervenors in the lives of their children. She has created two versions of this program, a standard version as well as a specialized version tailored to the unique needs of Foster & Adoptive families. Her work is beautiful and passion-filled and I am so grateful to know her.

Today Heath and I are talking about the challenges facing First Responders & Front Line Workers in "being normal" in their relationships with their kiddos. We highlight the challenges in coming down of the day, the tendencies to be revved up or numbed out, the impacts to our kids and our relationships with our kids over time, and tools to try to get this in check so we can develop healthful, attached and attuned relationships with our mini-me's.

In this episode we talk about:

Common challenges faced by front line parents
What happens when hyper-vigilance leads our parenting choices
The tendency to numb and the complications to "present parenting"
Finding value in the mundane (this is where the magic is - we promise!!)
The good, bad and ugly of how our work impacts our families
The need to focus on small windows of connection
Considerations around child-led and parent-led play

Check out Heather's Trauma Attuned Parent Program here. I honestly can't say enough about this program. I find myself recommending it as a fantastic adjunct to therapy to support parents in being able to be real change-makers and meaningful support providers to their kids while working through the process and healing alongside their child. Every play therapist who knows me has heard me preach about this program, because it equips parents to not just "try" or "do the best they can" to help their kids, but to actually show up in evidence-based therapeutic ways to intervene meaningfully, and I hope you will go check it out!

Check out my previous episode with Heather (S1E29 - "Front Line Families & Parenting") here, where we talk about creating rituals of disconnection and some other really practical tools to work at being more present at home and with our kids.

Episode Challenge:

What are some parent-led play ideas that would fit for you with your kiddo(s)? If you're kids are older, what are conversation topics or activities you can engage in together? Can you commit to working at being present for 10-30 minutes alongside them doing this activity a couple of times each week?

Reflect on where you’re at and what you might need by using our free Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide.

Additional Resources:

Check out Heather's Trauma Attuned Parent Program here. If you are a parent of a child who has been impacted by trauma, I would highly recommend this. Also, if you work with populations where this resource might be of value, I would invite you to research it (feel free to follow up and ask questions) and recommend it to those you serve. Touch base with me at support@thrive-life.ca and I can put you in touch with Heather.

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Normal Partner Relationships (Being Normal Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 15 Mar 2022 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

I am honoured to be joined by my friend and colleague, Chelsea Beyer. Chelsea is a Registered Clinical Counsellor, PhD Candidate, and university instructor in the Department of Psychology. She is trained as a sex therapist, and works with people who are struggling with a range of mental health and relational challenges, and has been practicing in the Lower Mainland for five years. Her Doctoral research focuses on the intersection of women’s embodiment and sexual satisfaction. The heart of her clinical work and research is the desire to help people feel more at home in their own bodies.

Today Chelsea is joining me in a conversation working to highlight the challenges facing First Responders & Front Line Workers in "being normal" in their intimate partner relationships. We are diving into everything from the daily monotony of life together over time, to arguing over what matters to us, to talking about our needs and values, to finding what we need for spicy sex. We would highly encourage couples to listen to this one together.

In this episode we talk about:

The physiology of stress and trauma and the ways this impacts our ability to do relationship (hyper-arousal and hypo-arousal)
The difficulty of finding empathy for the silly monotonous things in life when what I've done today is SO big
The need to acknowledge what we're bringing to the table
Identifying our internal and external context and using this language to facilitate connection
Recognizing needs to facilitate moving toward closeness and intimacy, including sex

Chelsea also shares about a great research and author, Emily Nagoski. Check out the books we talk about in this episode:

Come As You Are (book) here on Indigo.
The Come As You Are Workbook (companion workbook) here on Indigo.
Burnout (book) here on Indigo.

Episode Challenge:

Listen to this episode alongside your partner. Be open to hearing their thoughts on how your work shapes your relationship, and talk about ways to apply some of the pieces raised in this episode that seem most pertinent to YOUR relationship.

Reflect on where you’re at and what you might need by using our free Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide.

Additional Resources:

Check out the books we talk about in this episode:

Come As You Are (book) here on Indigo.
The Come As You Are Workbook (companion workbook) here on Indigo.
Burnout (book) here on Indigo.

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Normal Friendships (Being Normal Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 08 Mar 2022 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

It is always one of the fun joys of this podcasting thing that I get to invite on some of the people I love most in the world to talk with all of you. Meredith Luipasco is a pediatric nurse working in southern Alberta. She is also married to a member of the Canadian Armed Forces, and is the daughter of a paramedic and a nurse. She GETS the first responder thing. She has also been one of my best friends since the first grade. As we walk this Being *Normal* series, we wanted to dive into the ways in which front line work changes our ability to be "normal" in friendships and some of the ways both Meredith and I have learned to cultivate some normal within the not-normal of the work. Through this conversation there are some really valuable pieces that emerged, including things like:

Valuing how our experiences shape us, and that we're coming from different places that inform us differently
Managing our own self-importance and being careful about comparative suffering
Protecting our own energy
Naming our needs & "taking the cake" as Meredith so eloquently puts it
Honouring that our needs change over time
Identifying needs and looking for "close approximations" to find some fulfillment even if it's not the most ideal version all the time
Communicating clearly, honestly and vulnerably with people in our lives
Being flexible and adaptable to evolving life circumstances, needs and abilities

Episode Challenge:

Invest in your wellness and sustainability – for you and for those who care about you. Use coupon code BTBP100Off to get access to my Beating the Breaking Point resilience training program. This reduced rate is available until 11:59pm on Thursday March 10th. Click here to jump right to the registration page.

Reflect on where you’re at and what you might need by using our free Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide.

Additional Resources:

Learn more about the Beating the Breaking Point resilience program, including our no-risk money-back guarantee. If you are ready to take your resilience to the next level, register now using code BTBP100OFF now.

Connect, Rate, Review, Subscribe & Share!

This is NOT normal (Being Normal Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 01 Mar 2022 06:55:00 -0800

Today we are really pulling back the curtain on first response and front line work and naming the elephant in the room. You guys, I hate to be the one to tell you, but what you do is NOT normal. Ok, maybe that wasn’t totally revelatory…

Back in the fall I put out a request on social media and to those who follow me by subscribing to my email list, and I asked for you to tell me what you wanted to hear about on the show as I put together my plans for 2022 topics and interviews. And this topic was chosen by YOU. So today, as requested, I am launching this new series that I’m calling “Being Normal”. Over the coming weeks we are going to talk about the impacts the work has on our ability to be normal outside of the work in our friendships, in our intimate partnership relationships, in our relationships with our kiddos, and in our daily living activities. Not only will you be hearing from me, but I have lined up some fantastic guests to join me to share their experiences, wisdom and insights as we work at finding some normal in the very not-normal of the work you do.

For today we are setting the stage for this awesome series and really working to name the ways in which the work is not normal, and…here’s the harder part to swallow: Not only is your work NOT normal, but the longer YOU spend IN it, the more difficult it becomes to feel and be normal in your life outside the work AND the more uncomfortable you likely feel in spaces that are relatively normal.

So – before we dive too far in today let me preface all of this by saying that I know normal is a word that comes with some judgements. When I use it for the purpose of our discussions throughout this series, I intend it to mean typical to the average adult person in everyday living and interactions. For instance, when someone sees something dangerous, crisis-related or chaotic unfolding before their eyes, the typical human response is wired to go AWAY from that scenario. Human beings are wired to limit exposure to risk, threat and potential for harm for the purpose of survival – that is how we’re built and would be reflective of the average response. Part of what is NOT normal about your work is that you are trained and eventually re-wired to run TOWARD the danger, crisis or chaos. Not only that, over time that re-wiring can become increasingly hardwired in to not only run toward danger, crisis or chaos but to actually feel more comfortable IN danger, crisis and chaos, leading us to seek out or even create situations that satiate this craving. Can we just acknowledge that that’s NOT normal? This is actually a piece I talk quite a bit about and work to breakdown in my Beating the Breaking Point resilience training program where we talk about the adrenaline rollercoaster and the way it changes our brain’s pathways and responses over time. Neuro-physiologically you are changed by the work, we could map it, and normal-people jobs don’t generally have this kind of functional impact on their actual neuro-biology.

In preparation for today’s episode, I spent some time brainstorming a list of things that are not normal about the work you do, and that result in creating some not-normal problems for you in your daily life outside of the work. Fun, right? My guess is that you might think of some others, and feel free to shoot me a message because I might circle back to them in another episode.

Let’s start with the parts of your job that are not normal:

1. If you work shift-work, shift-work is NOT normal. There is not a human on earth who is wired to engage in rotating shifts flipping between days and nights on 12 hour shifts for a 4 day 4 off set. It’s not a thing. I get that emergencies happen 24 hours a day and that staffing needs to fairly distribute hours and all that jazz…but that doesn’t mean anyone is built to withstand the demand of it – particularly long term. The physical fuck-up that comes from this has consequences – we talked about some of that during our episode with sleep specialist Dr. Glenn Landry on Season 2 Episode 12 – and those are not consequences that the average joe-citizen faces. Circadian rhythm disorders can lead to significant health concerns, as well as mental health impacts.

2. Dark humor is NOT normal. I will be the first to say that dark humor is a requirement for survival in the work you do and there is no shame for using it. That said, it’s also important to identify that it’s not normal. Humour has always been a method of coping for humanity, regardless of what it’s connected to, but humour grounded in human suffering isn’t generally used by people in everyday life. We’ve likely all had those moments of exposing a dark humour moment in a room with people who don’t get it and having that moment of shocked silence – that’s a solid reflection of how not-normal this is.

3. Running toward the danger rather than away is NOT normal. Like I already mentioned, human beings are wired first and foremost for survival. We have a deeply rooted genetic code that comes with generational learning that has trained us to go away from scary, intense, risky situations to keep ourselves safe above all else. Now, this one tends to be a bit of a combination of two factors: personal pre-work training factors, and then professional training factors. We need to acknowledge that some people enter the work BECAUSE they already feel wired to run toward the danger. Often this comes from personal experiences with intensity and potentially trauma that have trained us in our personal lives to frame a role that feels more secure, valuable or otherwise capable in high-risk, high-stress situations. To be totally honest, in my work I have found a disproportionate number of my first response and front line work clients have histories of childhood abuse, neglect, or trauma that led them to feel passionately about helping while simultaneously uniquely equipped to be in danger, stress and chaos because it has been all-too-familiar for so very long. Now this isn’t everyone’s story, but it is a story I hear a LOT. For others, as well as for those who come into the work training with some degree of comfort in the risk, the training does the rest. The training forces our brains to re-wire and teaches us to shut down or shush our normal human responses in order to choose to go toward the risk. While this is what allows you to be awesome at what you do, I’m also going to tell you that it comes with a cost.

4. Being a part of everyone’s worst day is NOT normal. I can’t think of any other industry where every interaction is someone’s worst day. Where nearly every interaction has some degree of life or death. That’s NOT normal! Most other professions have measurable wins that show up on a semi-consistent basis that people can anchor to and feel reflective of their effort. There’s something they can point to and feel good about. Walking into situations knowing that this is someone’s worst day, over and over and over again, and experiencing the wins as few and far between and difficult to measure is not normal.

5. Living a constant cliff-hanger is NOT normal. The adrenaline response of being on a call or dealing with a situation is one thing, but the worst is not knowing what happens once your part to play is done. As the dispatcher you may not know what happens once you’re off the call, the fire fighter doesn’t know what happens once the ambulance pulls away, the medics don’t know what happens once they release to the hospital staff, the emerg staff don’t know what happens once they stabilize and send off to whichever unit…each int...

Trigger Prevention (Trigger Happy Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 22 Feb 2022 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

On today’s episode we are wrapping up our Trigger Happy series by talking about trigger prevention. Let me be really clear that when I say trigger prevention, I do NOT mean AVOIDANCE. Preventing triggers is an active state, it means being engaged and working to reduce the likelihood that something potentially or actually triggering will yield a strong stress reaction. It is a pre-emptive effort at unpairing or limiting the extent to which a stress or trauma-related pairing produces all of the survival responses we’ve been talking about throughout this series. Avoidance on the other hand, is about just not coming into contact with triggers at all. Avoidance is a passive state…although it doesn’t always feel passive when you’re driving way out of your way to avoid driving by that one intersection or have to find an entirely new place to shop to avoid that one grocery store, or whatever the case may be. Avoidance is trying to let your brain off the hook to not have to do the big reaction, but as we discussed a couple of weeks ago, it actually creates a whole new set of problems. You see, as we avoid something our brain thinks, yep, this is a great idea, and it will work harder and harder to continue avoiding that trigger…and it will start to generalize that trigger to other pieces kind of like it…and as we avoid more we actually create increased anxiety and reaction to the trigger. Not so off the hook then, are we?

For our purposes, I am going to break trigger prevention down into two major categories that I’m going to call Personal Resilience Strategies, and Event-Related Resilience Strategies.

Let’s start with personal resilience strategies. Have you ever noticed the difference between doing something challenging on a day when you have had lots of rest, feel calm, feel meaningfully connected to others, and so on; versus on a day when you’ve barely slept, feel frazzled and find yourself feeling lonely and adrift?

When we face triggers, it is energy depleting and a resource suck. If we enter those moments already depleted, there is only so much we can draw from, and once that is tapped out it becomes a LOT harder to cope with the trigger and manage it. This opens up a window for the trigger to feel so much more intense and to hijack you so much further into your stress reactions, further entrenching the trigger as an association with negative and stress-related experiences. So, when we talk about personal resilience strategies, we’re talking about the pieces that help us build a buffer so that when we interact with triggering we are entering the moment with the fullness of our energy and resources in place. If we can focus on building our personal resilience by investing in intentionally attending to and growing our buffer, we are more likely to prevent, or at least, reduce the intensity of impact from a triggering experience.

Like I said before, this isn’t an avoidance strategy – it’s an active strategy that requires that you invest in your buffer continuously and consistently. I know that sounds like a lot of work, but if I could promise you that investing here was guaranteed to yield less frequent or intense triggering, wouldn’t it feel worth it?

When we talk about personal resilience strategies, the focus is on strengthening the parts of our brain that help us feel calm, collected, and anchored – buffered from or quickly responsive to the random things that come up and try to knock us over. Working to enhance things like sleep, fitness, nutrition, hydration, being grounded and mindful, feeling nurtured, connected and cared for by self and others, and limiting exposure to counter-productive pieces like screens, substances, and other mindless numbing or counter-productive distraction. These are the focal points of personal resilience.

Now, I know that covers a lot of ground and might feel a bit overwhelming to tackle. Don’t get stressed out, the goal is not to go from depleted and struggling to do any of these pieces to jumping all in to all of them. That won’t be sustainable and sets us up to fail. For now, focus on just a couple of tweaks and then build off of it.

Need some ideas? Choose two of these suggestions and work on them for a week or two, and then try adding in one or two more. Slowly but surely, you will grow your personal resilience and it will invariably have an effect in supporting your capacity to navigate triggering. And side-benefit, they have a bunch of other advantages too! Try going to bed 10-20 minutes earlier than you might normally. Drink one full glass of water first thing after you get out of bed in the morning. Take a quality B complex supplement daily. Turn off screens 30 minutes before going to bed. Stretch for 5 minutes before going to sleep or stretch for 5 minutes on your lunch break. Delay alcohol or substance consumption by drinking one full glass of water first. Talk or text with a friend or loved one. Connect with someone who makes you laugh. Spend 5-10 minutes outside in the fresh air at some point during your day.

If you’ll notice, none of these things are big things. They are all small and do-able. If you incrementally work to bridge some of these pieces into your daily routine, the additive effect will be consequential in helping to grow your buffer and support your personal resilience as you face challenging days and triggering moments.

If you want to level-up your personal resilience beyond the starter suggestions I’ve listed here today – I’m going to suggest two things. First off, go to episodes 9-14 of season 2 where we did our Back to Basics Brain Health series and covered topics like sleep, fitness, nutrition, screens, mindfulness and so on, in detail with experts within each field. You’ll get additional suggestions to grow your personal resilience repertoire from those episodes. The other suggestion I would make is to check out my Beating the Breaking Point resilience training program designed specifically for First Responders and Front Line Workers. The program was built based on my experience working with those on the front lines and seeing the gaps in your training that set you up for major blows to resilience and sustainability, and I packed everything that is most important for you to know, along with tons of tools to develop a personalized resilience action plan, into the program. Those who have gone through the training have given really positive feedback and we’ve seen the program used by full staffs in an effort to promote resilience and wellness broadly within organizations. You can learn more by clicking the link in the show notes. Just as a quick heads up, we will be running a promotional reduced rate coupon code for this program starting next week if you want to snag the course for $100 off. Listen in next week for details or keep your eyes peeled for those of you who are on our email list or follow me on social media, we’ll post about it there as well.

Ok, let’s move on to Event-Related Resilience Strategies. There are two parts to this category – the first is about risk reduction, and the second is about harm reduction. Risk reduction is a front-end prevention strategy. It’s about trying to minimize or reduce the risk that stressful or traumatic things will happen in the first place. Let me clarify again that this is NOT the same as avoidance. An example of avoidance might be avoiding an intersection because I was in an accident there and I find it trigge...

Trigger Management (Trigger Happy Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 15 Feb 2022 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

Today we are getting really practical as we get further into our Trigger Happy series and talk about tools and strategies for trigger management. If you’ve missed the last two episodes, make sure you go back and check them out. Today’s topic really builds on what we’ve been learning about the last two weeks, and references pieces from the last two episodes that may not make the same amount of sense if you haven’t been following along, so I would encourage you to go back and start at Season 2 Episode 22 so that you get all you can out of this. Through this series, we’ve been talking about triggering – the experience that happens when we have a knee-jerk, psychological and physiological reaction in the present to something that reminds us of a stress-inducing or traumatic event that happened in the past. We’ve talked about how triggers can be really sneaky, subconscious and nuanced. We’ve also identified that the reactions they evoke in us can feel really automatic and outside of our control. And last week we talked about how the discomfort of triggering can lead us to get really crafty at avoiding triggers, but that this can create a series of new problems and that what we really need to do is tackle our triggers head on, but in a way that keeps safety intact. And that’s where we’re picking up today. When we face a trigger, we need some tools in our toolbelt to help us hold on to safety, and to support our brain in keeping the prefrontal cortex online. Today’s topic is going to equip you with the tools you need in that toolbelt.

So let’s jump right in. We’re going to talk about two main types of trigger management categories and I’m breaking them down based on the part of the brain we’re trying to help. So, we’re going to talk about limbic system regulatory tools and we’re going to talk about pre-frontal cortex activating tools. Again, if you skipped the first couple of episodes from this series, you’ll want to go back and start there so you know what I’m talking about here. As a super quick recap for those who have a memory like mine and need it – let’s remember that triggering is what happens when our stress/trauma centre is provoked by a reminder to something it has previously encoded and identified as a warning connected to a prior lived experience. When this happens, your brain thinks that this trigger represents the possibility that the bad thing that happened before COULD be happening again and activates your stress centre in order to get you ready to deal with it and prevent it from being like it was before. Your limbic system is the part of your brain most responsible for your stress survival responses and it gets all fired up really quickly. As we identified at the start of this series, your limbic system is also a fuel hog and it shuts down many of the other systems in your brain in an effort to give it all of your resources to help it do its job. When we’re triggered in a situation where a survival response is not needed to keep us safe, we need to regulate the limbic system to help is slow its roll; and we need to get the other parts of our brain back online to keep us present and anchored to our higher-level resources and capacities.

Alright, so let’s start with limbic system regulatory tools. If you remember back to the first episode in this series, two weeks ago, I told you that your stress centre has a huge influence on your physiology. It can change your heart rate, breathing, circulation, and so much more and all in an instant once something threatening is perceived. Fascinatingly, your body is among the most incredible feedback loop and this is no different when it comes to your stress response. What do I mean by feedback loop? Well, think about it like this. I’m laying in my bed relaxed and ready to fall asleep when I hear a startling noise. My limbic system quickly interprets that noise as a potential threat and starts having an effects on my physiology to prepare me for what might come next. Part of the physiological changes my stress centre is putting in place allows me to have heightened awareness, a highly attuned sensory system helping me to be extra-on guard and able to perceive additional indicators of risk. So I get out of bed and I creep down the stairs and I see something move from the corner of my eye, and that new information gets fed into my system acting as confirmation that yes, something’s up. As I move toward what I saw, my brain now has me even more highly aware of what is around me in preparation for how I might need to be able to grab something to fight with or know where an escape route is if I need to run away. As additional bits of information get fed into my system, it offers feedback to my brain that either confirms or denies the need for this stress response; and as my brain receives that feedback, it determines whether and how to amp up or slow my response. That’s the loop. And that’s what we need to take advantage of.

How, you might ask? Well, first, we need to get intentional to feed the loop SOMETHING. Once the stress centre has been provoked, your brain is itching to find confirmation of risk and threat. To help it detach from the sense of intense need to engage in risk scanning and threat assessment, we need to give it something that offers the opposite kind of feedback. So instead of giving it data that enhances its sense of confirmation around risk, we need to feed it pieces that strongly indicate the opposite of threat: safety. I’ll get to what that looks like in just a sec, but I want to make it really clear that when we get triggered and the stress centre gets activated and cascades into all of the physiological responses connected to this, it’s a bit like hitting the gas on a train going full steam ahead. To stop it, we can’t just let it coast its way to a stop, we need to actively pump the breaks. What this means is that we shouldn’t just ride out our stress reaction, because of a piece we identified last week, which is that it leaves the connection between the trigger and the reaction as is. So, for example, let’s imagine that I have been exposed to some stress-inducing situations that have involved loud noises before, and then I have this experience of a startling noise as I am trying to fall asleep. The noise is startling in its own right, but it’s also triggering times that have previously felt unsafe for me. The noise yields a disproportionate reaction in me. If I just leave that as is and try to ride it out, I am further conditioning this response that loud noise yields uncontrollable, disproportionate stress reactions, and the feeling of powerlessness that goes with it. Every time we are confronted with a trigger, we are being given an opportunity to teach our bodies something different, and we need to get really intentional in using these opportunities for all they’re worth.

Ok, so what do we feed into the feedback loop? Well, we’ve already talked about how the limbic system exerts a lot of influence over your physiology, and that it is keenly attuned to feedback from your physiological sensory systems to help it in doing its job of assessing and reacting, so we’re going to get crafty and use this to our advantage. Sensory input is a key way we can work to regulate the limbic system and help bridge our brain to a new potential connection. Smell, sight, sound, taste, touch…I know it might sound simple, but that’s exactly why it works. Here’s what you’re going to do – when triggering happens in situations where your risk of actual harm is low but your brain and body are having a hard time agreeing with you, you are going to input sensory pieces that affirm your safety or act as reminders of good, fine, ok, calm times. Here are some ideas:

...

The Avoidance Dance (Trigger Happy Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 08 Feb 2022 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

As we open today’s topic on the avoidance dance, I want to acknowledge that avoidance is a totally normal reaction to things that are uncomfortable or actively painful. We avoid all kinds of things that we’ve had previous experience with or exposure to that has taught us that we don’t want to do it again. Avoidance is a stress reaction that comes from having learned something. We talked about this last week – if we think back to caveman times, and I go down a path and am confronted with a bear, my brain is going to take a multisensory movie that remembers the smell of sweet berries and the sound of a gurgling stream and the next time I head down a path with the same scent and sound my brain is going to be triggered in an effort to help me avoid another close call with big jaws and sharp claws. In that kind of a context, it can be a really good thing that we learn from our exposure to stressful stimuli in an effort to support our actual survival.

The challenge is that these avoidance prompts can become bigger or more generalized than is helpful to us, and if we’re not careful we can fall into the trap of learned helplessness.

For those who haven’t taken a psych class in a long time, let’s do a quick review. Back in the 1960’s Martin Seligman did research involving dogs. PETA would have a field day with this research, but at the time it was common practice. Seligman’s research was on classical conditioning, which is about the relationship that forms between two stimuli when they are consistently presented together. In this case, when a bell would ring, the dog would get a mild electric shock. After a short time of being presented together, the dogs would show a reaction as if they were being shocked whenever the bell would ring, even if the shock wasn’t administered. The bell became such a strong warning sign of the impending shock that the dogs came to assume and physiologically respond as if the shock happened simply because the bell rang. The researchers then took this one step further. They built a cage with two sections divided by a low fence that could easily be jumped by the dogs. One side of the cage was able to administer a mild electric shock, and the other side was electricity free. The dogs were placed on the side with the shock, and for any dogs who had not previously been in the bell experiment, they would quickly jump the fence and be free from the shock. Meanwhile, the ones who had been a part of the bell part of the experiment just laid down and didn’t even bother trying to find out if they could get away from the shock. This is what Seligman termed Learned Helplessness. The dogs had learned that they couldn’t escape or evade their fate…even though in this case they could have. The learning became so deeply held that they gave up trying and just stayed in it.

Now, here’s where the research becomes interesting for our purposes. After they completed this phase of the research they asked a new question – can we break associations once they’ve been made? Essentially can we reverse learned helplessness…and the answer, is YES. In the case of the dogs, the researchers tried a number of things, including demonstrations of them stepping over the fence, bribery with reward as well as punishment to try to get the dogs to jump over to the non-electrified side of the cage. But the thing that worked was when the researchers physically picked up the dogs and moved them - when the dogs were forcibly given the opportunity to see for themselves that this side would be different. After two times of being carried over, the dogs started to regain their capacity for curiosity and were able to direct this toward their self-preservation rather than trying to conserve energy by lying down and waiting out the pain. Similarly, the researchers would ring the bell and NOT administer the shock, and while the dogs continued to have a physiological reaction as if they were being shocked for a little while, after several repetitions, the dogs learned that the bell was no longer associated with the shock. This process of unlearning a conditioned association is called extinction. We’re extinguishing the connection and the related reaction.

Ok, so what does this mean for us as humans almost 80 years later? Well, there are three key learnings I think we can draw from this that relates to stress exposure and the question of avoidance as a coping tool for dealing with triggering.

First, triggering is simply a more nuanced version of conditioning. In the Seligman studies, the conditioned stimuli are easily identifiable. Bell, shock, fear. Put those three together enough times and bell will yield fear even in the absence of shock. In life, we rarely get such a clean example. While facets of a stress-inducing or traumatic event can feel clear or obvious, others can feel far more difficult to identify. For example, in a car accident it might seem obvious that the survivor might develop a triggering reaction to driving, driving in conditions similar to the accident, like at night or in the rain, and maybe even to just being in a car or thinking about being in a car. Those are the easy ones. But there are far more subtle connections that can be made as well. For example, if the accident happened after leaving the house following an argument with a parent or spouse, the feeling of being angry can become a trigger because it was present at the time of the incident and serves as a connection to what happened. If the accident happened in a rural area with the smell of farms and manure; or near a fast food joint in all its greasy glory…these prompts can be so subtle that they are not even consciously in our awareness…but then we go to grab a burger and experience a flurry of flashbacks and feel totally insane. Remember last week we talked about why triggering exists – that it’s intention within your brain is for survival purposes, which is your brains absolute top priority and objective. While it can be extremely uncomfortable, inconvenient, and sometimes even newly dangerous (having panic attacks while driving is not safe for anyone on the road), it’s for a reason and it’s trying to do the important job of keeping you safe.

The second thing we can take from Seligman’s research is that avoiding exposure on the front end is a good idea. If we can prevent the consistency of exposure to the pairing of stimuli, we can reduce the power of the connection and the degree of damage we suffer as a result. This is where trigger prevention measures come into play. If we can work to provide ourselves with a buffer, a protective layer that helps us to keep our prefrontal cortex active during stressful events, we can reduce the consistency with which triggers are paired with events that feel significantly negative. What if, in the dog studies, the bell were paired with the shock sometimes but not all the time, AND it was paired with getting delicious food sometimes but not all the time, AND it was paired with getting pets and cuddles sometimes but not all the time, AND it was paired with getting a bath sometimes but not all the time – if the stimuli (the bell) were presented in a host of situations that evoked positive, negative and neutral feelings, it would likely become background noise. Not specifically becoming a hallmark of anything in particular. Similarly, if we can build experiences that evoke a variety of feelings with the things that could otherwise become triggers, we can be proactive at nipping triggering in the bud.

Another way we can prevent the consistency of exposure to the pairing of stimuli is by reducing our exposure more generally. I’m not saying avoid triggering here – I’m saying limit exposure to the stress and trauma to be...

Talking Triggers (Trigger Happy Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 01 Feb 2022 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

Today we are getting trigger happy and we’re kicking off a new series for the month of February all about triggering.

What exactly is triggering? At the most foundational level, triggering is an emotional, psychological, and/or physiological reaction to stimuli that is outside of our control. Triggering usually feels unexpected, automatic, and like it takes over. It can feel unconscious, and difficult to consciously override and regain control of ourselves. It can be a feeling, like sadness or fear; it can be psychological, like flashbacks or intrusive thoughts; it can be physiological, like racing heart or difficulty breathing; and it can be, and more often than not is, a combination of these things all rolled together.

Being triggered is more than just getting worked up about something. I was watching something on the news recently and the commentator used the word triggered to describe someone who was worked up about a topic, and while I can appreciate that the term can feel useful to mark the significance of someone’s reaction – it’s not quite the same thing. What the newscaster was identifying was someone taking offense to something and expressing their sense of being bothered. While it can be reactionary to get offended, it is usually connected to our beliefs and values, which we have some ability to look at, choose, and change if we want to.

Meanwhile, triggering – true triggering – doesn’t feel optional. It is connected not to beliefs or values that we have some say in developing or altering, but to how our brains have interpreted, internalized, and held onto events that we didn’t get a vote in choosing. Triggering isn’t about getting upset by something or someone – it’s more like being held hostage to a brain that had to face something hard and continues to feel subjected to that experience.

What’s worse is that for many who experience triggering, they don’t always know what they are triggered by or even what experience that trigger connects back to. And this is where it really feels like being held hostage – because we can feel swept up in reactions that take our bodies over, turn our day upside down, impact our ability to focus or function effectively, and we might not be able to even really know why.

So let’s break down the mechanics of what is happening when triggering occurs. Your brain, while highly complex and interconnected, is also segmented into regions and areas that do different kinds of jobs. For example, we’ve talked a lot on the show before about the pre-frontal cortex which is the part of the brain just behind your eyes and forehead, and how this part of the brain is responsible for things like language and executive functioning which really means our ability to make decisions, problem solve and manage complex information. The pre-frontal cortex is essentially the manager of your brain. It takes information from other areas, like memory and values and so on, and funnels these pieces into how we want to choose to engage, respond or interact with things that are happening in our lives now and into the future. Being in your pre-frontal cortex, having this part of your brain actively turned on and working, is pretty much the opposite of being in triggered mode. This part of our brain helps us to feel grounded, present and in control. It feels regulated and capable.

So where does triggering live in your brain? Well, it’s pretty interesting actually. There are studies, and I actually had the chance to do my master’s thesis research on just such a study, where researchers use EEG or other brain-scan data to see what happens in the brain when we trigger the crap out of someone. How do we do this, well, depending on the population we’re studying, we might use images of something scary or associated with a traumatic event they’ve experienced, or we can use something called script-driven trauma provocation where the participants actually write the story of a traumatic event, which gets narrated and turned into an audio that they listen back to while hooked up to whatever brain-scan tech is being used. I know it sounds cruel, but it has been a significant tool in understanding exactly what happens inside the brain when people get triggered and the results are genuinely fascinating and informative in terms of how we go about thinking about triggering as well as how we go about trying to treat triggering.

When a brain is exposed to a trigger – something that your brain feels is in some way directly or vaguely tied to a traumatic or stress-inducing event that left a mark – your brain perceives this trigger as a threat, just like the event that your brain believes it represents. Essentially your brain has this background system running all the time that is scanning for risk and threat and looks for it through the lens of what it has already known to be fear inducing. When it picks up on any small reference to something that aligns with its previous experiences, it sets off an alert system in an effort to batten down the hatches to self-protect from anything even remotely like your previous experiences from ever happening again. When your brain perceives something that seems affiliated to risk, it quickly activates your limbic system. What is the limbic system? It’s a region in your brain that is near the back of the brain tucked up right above your brain stem at the base of your head and top of your neck. Your limbic system is the area of your brain responsible for your stress response including fight-flight-freeze-or-fawn response.

Before we keep going, I’m going to pause here for a moment because there are some really important things to know about your limbic system.

First off, your limbic system is highly connected to a ton of your physiological responses. You know how your heart beats without you consciously thinking about it? Same with your breathing, your temperature regulation like sweating or shivering, your blood pressure and other unconscious moment-to-moment physiological basics? Your limbic system, when it perceives stress or a need to protect, automatically exerts influence over all of these systems. It’s why your heart will speed up, your breathing will become more shallow, it even shifts blood flow away from your extremities and into your core. It does all of this to prepare you to be able to fight back, run away, or manage the risk in whatever way best leads to survival.

Second, your limbic system has its own version of memory storage. Because it is so highly responsible for altering your physiological state, it tracks events and stores memory like a muti-sensory movie. It believes that it needs to recall all aspects of a traumatic or stress-inducing event in order to be able to effectively prevent it from recurring in the future. So it takes note of additional information that regular memories, non-traumatic memories, wouldn’t normally care to remember. Things like smells, body positioning, vague sounds, lighting…all kinds of things that are way over and above what normal memory systems care to give strong attention to.

Third, your limbic system doesn’t own a watch. While other parts of your brain have access to a clock that lets it know whether something was past, present or future, your limbic system only deals in the now. It doesn’t care if your heart beat 10 seconds ago, or frankly whether it will beat 10 seconds from now, it only cares that it is beating. The tricky thing about this is that memories connected to this area and stored as a multi-sensory movie, aren’t stored as memories from something that happened (past-tense) but rather as something that is continuing to be happening whenever it gets…you guessed it…triggered.&nb...

Cultivating Connection (Detangling Identity Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 25 Jan 2022 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

Today I am joined by one of my favourite people to have on the show, Jenn Pound. Jenn is a retired RCMP staff sergeant and has been a guest on the show a number of times. Today we’re also joined by a friend of Jenn’s, Greg Scollon. Now, if you don’t already know, we’ve been working through a series on detangling identity and we’ve been talking about the need to protect our sense of self, our identities, from becoming entangled and enmeshed with the work roles we serve in. We have, throughout the series, talked about the risks of over-identifying with the job, particularly when the work you do is so crisis driven and out of your control. We have also talked about practical tools for supporting greater protections around our identity, including building balance and crafting control. Today we are talking about cultivating connection and I am so pleased that we get to talk about this and related topics with two people who have been there, done that, and got the T shirt.

Jenn retired from the RCMP after discovering that she was facing post traumatic stress injuries from her time working with the Integrated Homicide Investigation Team in Vancouver. She has shared in previous episodes about the impact of the work, and the lack of support she received when she most needed it. The systemic dysfunction and lack of support was career ending for this incredible woman who is a legacy member – married to an RCMP member, the daughter and sister to RCMP member’s – she was all in. But when push came to shove, they weren’t all in for her.

When I asked Jenn if she would be interested in joining me for an episode during this series, she offered connection to a friend, Greg, and when I heard his story I was thrilled to have them both on. Greg worked for Shaw. That’s right, he’s not a first responder, but his experience being suddenly let go from work he had poured himself into is relevant and I think that his insights from going through the process of loss and reinventing himself are significantly meaningful for you to hear.

Listen in on our conversation and gain insight from the wisdom of our guests.

Episode Challenge:

How are you cultivating connection? How can you make this a continual area of investment?

Sign up for the Self-Care Dare waitlisttoday to be the first to find out when registration opens and secure one of the limited spots in this cohort of the dare.

Reflect on where you’re at and what you might need by using our free Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide.

Additional Resources:

Check out Jenn’s blog, Fuel For First Responders.

Use (and re-use!!) our free Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide. Check in with yourself around indicators for burnout and make sure you are being preventative or intervening when you need to in order to curb burnout’s impact on your life, both on the job and off. Signing up for this free tool also gives you access to our regular emails with new podcast episodes and other special resources designed just for you on the front lines.

Connect, Rate, Review, Subscribe & Share!

Crafting Control (Detangling Identity Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 18 Jan 2022 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

Today we are continuing our series on detangling identity and we’re focusing this episode on crafting control.

The challenge with the kind of work you do, is that while it draws people who enjoy feeling in control – it is an unending stream of out-of-control mess. Whether it’s the calls or the work-related risks or the organizational dynamics, there is SO much that happens that is not in our control.

So, what do you think that means when we’ve enmeshed our sense of identity, our sense of self, with our work? US Marine Corps veteran and behavioural scientist, Dr. Kevin Gilmartin wrote the book “Emotional Survival for Law Enforcement” and summarizes this so well. He says, “If the job becomes your life, and you don’t control your job, then you don’t control your life.”

Nailed it.

I said during last week’s episode that your work is a really important part of who you are. But the KEY is remembering and being intentional about keeping it a PART. A portion. Just a piece. Think of it like a pie chart. Work is a valuable piece of who you are – it says something about you that you do what you do. But if the piece of the pie chart your work occupies is the biggest slice of the pie, or outweighs the amalgamation of several other slices of the pie, then your balance is out of whack and you need to go back to last week’s episode to take a look at how you rebalance. If your work piece of the pie is dictating too much about who you are, how you feel, and how you value yourself in your world or experience value in the world, then you are running some serious risks and Dr. Gilmartin is hitting it on the head. Our work is so often outside of our control. The job is literally responding to crisis. The defining nature of crisis is NOT in control. And while we’re trained to enter into the chaos and intervene to help, the truth is that we can only ever do so much, and it is almost always REACTIVE which feels much less in control than preventative or responsive. On top of that, even within the organizational framework, we can often feel at risk of an adversarial or blatantly aggressive or hostile workplace dynamic that further undermines our sense of stability or control. Decisions that affect us are made without consultation and we are left to hold the repercussions.

If this is what we are using to define us, no wonder so many are burning out, experiencing mental health concerns and struggling to continue. When I make my identity tied to something that is so unstable, it is internally de-stabilizing. As we internalize an identity that defines us based on an environment and experience that can be so tumultuous, we internalize the chaos and the helplessness and the lack of control. And these features start to increasingly take hold inside of us and dictate how we feel, how we think and how we engage in our lives.

THIS is why it is so deeply risky to make work our life.

Now, I’m going to say, AGAIN, that work is of course an important part of your life. Yes, you have to work to pay the bills. And yes, you are allowed to love your work, feel passionately about the work you do, and invest deeply into the work you care about. Just not exclusively, or mindlessly.

I’m not asking you to not do your job. Really, what I want it the opposite of that – I want you, with all of the amazing skill, training and experience you’ve acquired, to be a kickass contributor to the work for a long, long time to come. Our communities need you. They need skilled, experienced people who ARE passionate about the work and committed to being in the thick of it. But we are losing really great people – veteran skilled staff – because the job got too big and swallowed them whole. What I want for you is to be mindful and intentional about keeping the job in its place – as a piece of the pie. And in so doing, I want you to craft something that is far more sustainable. Something that keeps you able to remain in the work for as long as you choose to be in it.

Last week we talked about balance and distributing our interests and sense of self across multiple “pillars”. An important piece of this process is anchoring to building aspects of my life that I have control over.

When we spend a significant proportion of our time in a workplace that really lacks control, we need to build a life outside of that that really enhances our connection to control, even in seemingly small ways. It is also really valuable to work at implementing pieces within your work day that give some amount of control back wherever you can find it. There are two specific aspects to crafting control that I want to encourage you to focus on.

The first is refining your values and the second is drawing your boundaries.

When it comes to refining your values, it’s really a matter of taking the time to step back from the auto-pilot nature of life to really dig in and be intentional in thinking about what matters to you most. Life has a tendency to get us caught up in the moment-to-moment of the daily grind. We can get hung up in some of the survival mode that life calls us into. We’re busy. Work life, home life, fixing the leak in my house or taking my car in for the weird noise it’s been making, visiting that ailing family member, getting that call out of the blue that says my pet needs surgery or someone I care about is leaving their spouse… Life doesn’t stop life-ing. The pace is high and we get caught in the current of it. It’s not that we intentionally fall out of living into our values, it’s that we lose track of time. But then, before you know it we have lived a life of reaction to whatever has come at us any given minute – feeling out of control and left with that funeral question but without the time left to cast a different kind of vote for how people will talk about and remember us. When we can make the time, prioritize the space, to get clear about our values – and to re-clarify them on a semi-regular basis – we are more likely to shape choices that allow us to live into our values even when life keeps life-ing.

When you are working to refine your values, I want you to think about where in your life you have experienced a sense of control. Think back – as a child or teen, as a young adult all the way to this time in your life – when have you felt like your best self? What kinds of activities or interests brought this out in you? Where did you feel like you were owning life? What are your greatest skills? Where do you shine? Who are the people who bring out the best in you?

Inventory the answers to these questions, along with that most central question – what would you hope that people would remember about you or say about you at your funeral? What characteristics about who you are and how you are in your life do you hope make the greatest impact on the world and those in your life?

These are your values. These are the spheres of control for you.

Identifying these, and taking time on a semi-regular basis to re-evaluate your values and how you are going about living into them, is the single most important thing you can do to help build a sense of control in your life. And in crafting an increased sense of control, we help protect ourselves from the impact of the areas in our lives where we experience reduced control.

As you identify your values, try to get creative in thinking about how you can connect to these. It may not be the same and it may not be perfect, but aim for close approximations. For example, one of the areas in my life where I have experienced a high degree of control and feeling in my ...

Building Balance (Detangling Identity Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 11 Jan 2022 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

We are into our latest series on detangling identity and we’re going to talk today about building balance.

Here is the thing about balance: life balance is not a fixed point. Life, and people within life, are never fixed points. We are always changing and adapting. Life is always moving and flexing. Ebbing and flowing. Think of it a bit more like balancing on a stand up paddle board on ocean waves. You might find a balance at one moment when the waves are calmer and the water is more still, but then the wind picks up, the waves hit a bit harder and each moment is effort to find and re-find balance under the fluctuating conditions. The tricky thing about building balance in our lives is we won’t ever be done with it. It isn’t a one and done. We won’t find this wonderful balance point and be able to just ride that out indefinitely. Life will come along and give us some waves, and we’ll need to re-adjust and re-discover balance all over again.

I know that likely sounds a bit daunting, and I’m not going to lie, it can be. But here’s the good news – once you build balance that feels good to you, most of the adjustments will be tweaking. Like the stand up paddle board – it’s starting that’s the hard part. It is learning to find your centre and strengthening your body to remain centred in moving conditions that is difficult. Once you get used to it, get good at it, the adjustments are pretty small tweaks moment-to-moment to respond to fluctuations in the water conditions.

As we look at detangling our identities from our profession, we need to focus on building balance so our identities are an amalgamation of who I see myself to be in various diverse parts of my life. Last week I suggested thinking about this like investment banking. When we build our identities in exclusive ways, like into our profession, or another common one is into our role as parents, and tie them to things that invariably come to an end or can be pulled out from under us, we put all of our eggs into one very janky basket. So then, if I’m off work, or I retire, or my kids leave home, my sense of self feels jeopardized because that basket just got yanked and my whole self is tanked without it.

In investing they talk about diversifying your portfolio. Financially is isn’t wise to take your hard earned money and put it all in one company’s stocks. Because if that company takes a hit, you are along for that ride in a very deep way. The recommendation is to spread what you want to invest into a few areas so that if one takes a bit of a hit, it’s likely counterbalanced by something else that’s doing well, and over time you can better ride the ebbs and flows that are a natural part of the market, coming out ahead overall. The same theory is true for us as people. We need to conscientiously and intentionally diversify our personal portfolios. We need to invest our sense of self into differing areas so that if I’m off work for a stretch of time, the part of me that feels tied to that is supported by other things that also and equally meaningfully define me.

So, where do we invest ourselves to be able to achieve a greater return on our investment? How do we do this whole diversified portfolio thing for our own personal balancing act?

It starts by cultivating interests and prioritizing time to be versions of ourselves that feel good, affirming, meaningful, and so on. Dr. Kevin Gilmartin, who literally wrote the book on emotional survival for law enforcement and whose work extends into most first response and front line work experiences, talks about “I usta syndrome”. That before the job officers tend to have a lot of friends, hobbies, interests, activities, and so on. But then, as they pour into the job and start spending more time with work-mates doing work-related things, they invest more and more into their work lives and less and less into their personal life roles outside of t he work. So it becomes, “I usta fish, I usta go out with friends, I usta go camping” and so on. What did you usta do? What used to mean something to you? What used to feel fulfilling or interesting to you? What have you always been curious about trying but never done? What was your favourite thing to do as a child? What do your friends like to do that you could get into with them? What does your partner or your kids like to do that you would be up for participating in?

I was reading an article written by psychologist Dr. Rachelle Zemlok (link below), and in it she shares this story:, “Joel Fay (Retired police officer, founding member of First Responder Support Network and lead clinician at West Coast Post Trauma Retreat) was quoted stating ‘As I stood there an image came to mind, that of a roof being supported by a single pillar. If that one pillar were removed the entire roof would collapse. But I had a lot of pillars in my life besides work. I had friends, family, volunteer work, sports, and many other interests. I could afford to lose this one pillar. At that moment I knew I was going to be OK.’”

That’s what we’re trying to do here. We’re trying to be intentional about building up other pillars to support the weight of life. Work is a pillar. It is an awesome pillar. We can get a lot out of our work and it does get to be a facet of our identities. But that’s where we need to be conscientious – am I allowing it to be a facet or have I defaulted into making it the whole shebang?

If we are identifying that we need some additional pillars and that we need to work at building in some more balance, there is going to be a temptation, and it’s the tendency to go to extremes. As we recognize the risk we’re at by making work the fullness of who we are, we are likely to try to swing to the other extreme and try to build 5 new pillars at the same time. That won’t work, and here’s why – people suck at sustaining extremes. So yes, you’ll join a gym and you’ll book a camping trip and you’ll buy some fishing gear and you’ll pick up knitting, and , and , and…and then you’ll likely fall off of doing all of it because it’s too much too fast. Start small, make it incremental, and recognize that building things…anything…doesn’t happen overnight. Like we said at the start, balance is not a one and done fixed and move on kind of issue. If we pile on too much too quickly, it will feel like that huge wave that came out of nowhere and rocks us off balance and tosses us into the ocean. If we can do it a little at a time, it’s like the smaller waves that our bodies can have a chance to be responsive to adapting to a little bit and a little bit. If you want to start working out more, don’t sign up for a marathon – start by going for a walk on your lunch break a couple times a week. If you want to volunteer don’t sign up to some kind of weekly commitment, but maybe agree to help out occasionally here and there. And don’t commit to things in diverse areas all at the same time. Space it out, see how it feels to add in a thing then another thing and let yourself notice the balance before adding anything more.

When you are considering what pieces to add in, focus on your values. Many of us commit to the work because we value helping and caring for people and making the world a better place. That’s a cool value, but one that can also get draining if we’re not careful. Get curious and creative about ways to lean into this value without depleting yourself. For example, my grandma knits mittens, toques and scarves for homeless people. She does it at her own pace while she watches the news and sips her coffee. It is a hobby she enjoys that she is able to turn into something that contributes toward a value and that she feels passionate about. If we value time with o...

The Risk of Becoming the Job (Detangling Identity Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 04 Jan 2022 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

Today’s episode we are kicking off a new series on de-tangling identity from the work we do. In this episode we talk about the commonness of enmeshed identity with work, cultural norms that support this kind of enmeshment, as well as the risks involved. In coming weeks we will tackle skills to work at de-tangling our identities from the work we do.

In this episode I cite a couple of articles – check them out here:

The Atlantic article by Derek Thompson, here.

Psychology Today article, “You are not your work”, here.

BBC article, “Why we define ourselves by our jobs” with quotes from Anne Wilson, here.

Episode Challenge:

Reflect on where you’re at and what you might need by using our free Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide.

Additional Resources:

In this episode I cite a couple of articles – check them out here:

The Atlantic article by Derek Thompson, here.

Psychology Today article, “You are not your work”, here.

BBC article, “Why we define ourselves by our jobs” with quotes from Anne Wilson, here.

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Emotional Grounding & Brain Health (Back to Basics Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 28 Dec 2021 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

These last couple of weeks we’ve talked about physical grounding to help anchor our bodies to the present. We have also talked about mental grounding to help our brains turn on the prefrontal cortex and offer counterbalancing support to the stress centre in an effort to approach times of stress with our whole brains working to solve problems rather than just our survival mode working on overdrive. Today we are going to talk about emotional grounding – another term for which is “self-soothing”. And when we use these three forms of grounding together, consistently and intentionally, we gift ourselves with an increased capacity to notice and honour our needs, as well as the needs of others, and we allow ourselves the opportunity to make strategic choices about how we respond in situations rather than feeling knee-jerk reactive to them.

Now, if “self-soothing” sounds like “baby-ish,” know this: I often tell my clients that adults are just children in tall bodies. While our brains have matured just a little bit more than the brains of our kids, we still share much of the needs, wants, hopes and wishes of our child selves. We gained reason and logic, but we didn’t outgrow the need for support, care, nurturing and soothing. That’s not how brains work. Somewhere along the way, though, we decided that needing care and soothing was a “baby thing” or “weak” and we made it a cultural no-no to model what it looks like to do adulthood self-soothing. So we developed new habits to manage this gap – drinking, drug use, self-harm, binge eating, binge watching TV, endless social media scrolling – these are all our version of semi-socially acceptable self-soothing in adulthood. Notice how many of these things are not particularly healthy?

To be clear: the goal of emotional grounding is not to remove emotion, it’s to support our emotions to keep them within a range that seems ok given the conditions we’re facing, and that allows us to be in the present moment feeling appropriately about the thing we’re doing without undue influence from past or future.

Healthful emotional grounding aka self-soothing looks like and how we implement this in adulthood:

1. Find faces you can trust. Try imagining the face or voice of someone you know and trust and care about, or look at photos of someone you care about, and imagine what comforting thing they might say to you in this moment.

2. Practice kind self-talk. When you are watching a kid try something and they mess up, would you say, “oh my god, you’re such a screwup, you’re terrible at everything!” …I sure hope not! When we’re talking to kids, we tend to have this ability to hold a lot of grace and be gentle and kind, compassionate and coaching. But with ourselves, if we don’t meet our own standards we rake ourselves over the coals. As previously mentioned, adults are just kids in tall bodies. You brain hasn’t stopped needing that kindness and grace just because you got bigger. We need to work at speaking to ourselves the way a good parent or teacher would speak to a child. “You are working really hard at this, it’s ok that you’re not perfect at it” or “This is tough, but I have done tough things before, I know I am capable of facing this” or “I’ve been struggling with this on my own for long enough, it’s ok to ask for help.” These are all examples of kind self-talk that we can work at implementing in lieu of our harsher self-criticisms, which don’t tend to help us make positive change and keep us stuck in feeling shitty.

3. Snuggle. A pet, a kid, a partner, a pillow, a stuffed animal – find something and cuddle. We are wired from birth for cuddling. Cuddling is what helped us regulate as infants, to feel safe and cared for by our caregivers, and we never lose that innate longing for close connection and emotional reassurance. Research has shown that our “cuddle hormones” help to regulate stress, relax our bodies, and regulate our systems.

4. Play. Sometimes when we are feeling big feelings that are hard, we can work to regulate them by doing the opposite. When my mood is sinking, going to the park and swinging or playing tag can be an instant mood shifter. You can do this with a pet, kids, a partner, friends – go be playful or silly or spontaneous. Do something you used to enjoy, or try something new. Be a goof. Look silly. Be ridiculous. Give the child inside your tall body a chance to run wild for a beat, and notice how it feels different.

5. Focus on favourites. Some people like to list things they are grateful for, others list their favourites of things – food, music, movies, places, books, etc. Whatever it is for you, catalog the good, the likes, the meaningful things in your life. Doing this helps us remember to see the forest for the trees and helps us step back from the immediacy and intensity of what we may be struggling with to see that our lives are bigger and have lots of good too.

6. Find a safe place. Whether it’s a real place you have been, or an imaginary place you wish existed, choose a place that you can visualize and go to. Try to imagine yourself there with all your senses – what would you see in this place? Trees, ocean, stream, …? What would you feel in this place? A breeze, cool water, warm sunshine…? What would you smell in this place? Fresh cut grass, salt water, sweet flower scents…? What would you hear in this place? Crashing waves, chirping birds, stillness…? Try to fill the visualization out to make it as real as possible. Make this a safe place you can come to in your mind any time you like. Meditating on a safe place, focusing in on visualization like this, has been shown to reduce stress activation and support capacity for regulation.

7. Listen to music. Music can be so evocative. It can elicit emotions in us we weren’t having 5 seconds ago. It can be tied to memory and nostalgia, good, bad and otherwise. Find some music that feels comforting, soothing, or evokes emotions that feel good to you. Have a playlist saved that you can jump to whenever you might need it.

When it comes to us doing these pieces for ourselves, our major stumbling block is likely to be stigma. Not just stigma from others, like I don’t want people to see or know what I’m doing for fear of being judged; but also stigma from within ourselves that judges ourselves critically as weak or something for needing these things. Here’s what I want to make really clear: EVERYONE needs these things. It is literally how brains are wired, and you are not magically the one unique brain in the world that doesn’t need these things or is better than this. While our culture like to praise independence and self-sufficiency and a bunch of other bullshit, it is also a culture that has increasing mental health challenges. What that tells us is that how we are setting up expectations is NOT in alignment with how we’re wired, and we need to do it differently. So yes, this might be uncomfortable, and it might feel counter-cultural, but good! The culture is breaking us, so let’s be counter-cultural. Let’s declare a new direction for our culture and value supporting ourselves so that we can sustainably support and value others without breaking ourselves for it. Let’s recognize our own needs, be attuned to meeting them, and create more effective wellness so that we’re not on the verge of burnout every minute of the day. Let’s make new expectations and take ...

Mental Grounding & Brain Health (Back to Basics Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 21 Dec 2021 06:00:00 -0800

Show Notes:

We are back talking about grounding skills and ways to strengthen and resource our brain so that our brain can do it’s best, allowing us to be OUR best. Last week we talked about some basics around what grounding is and how it works. We also focused on practical and applicable strategies for physical grounding, which uses our bodies to help turn on parts of our brain that help to counterbalance our stress centre and regulate our system. Today we are going to be taking it one step further and we’re talking about mental grounding activities.

Before we go into the practical skills, let’s pause for a minute and make sure we feel really clear on what we’re doing and why it matters – because feeling really tethered to it mattering is what will help us engage the skills rather than stay in our default patterns.

I want you to think of your brain like a muscle. I know it’s not technically a muscle, but let’s pretend for a minute because in a lot of ways it has some parallels in how it operates. The more you use a muscle, the stronger it gets. When we need a muscle or muscle group to work for us in significant ways, we can benefit from taking time to stretch it, strengthen it, and so on. We also stand to benefit from strengthening surrounding and supportive muscle groups to help facilitate the success and sustainability of the muscle or muscle group that we demand a lot from. If we don’t carefully attend to caring for these muscle groups that we rely on, we risk injury.

Your brain, if we can use the muscle analogy, has areas that tend to get worked out at a far higher rate than others. Our lives, from quite young, train us to be very conscientious about the future – thinking, planning, anticipating, worrying, about what comes next. We also train our brains to be highly aware of the past – reflective, learning, ruminating about what has happened so we can try to recreate what’s gone well and deflect from reliving things that haven’t gone great. These pieces of our experience, past and future, tend to activate the areas of our brain connected to our stress centre, giving it a pretty consistent workout. Add to that being in a job that is high stress and demanding, along with being in a daily life that tends to be pretty demanding in its own right, your stress centre has learned to be a pretty dominant force in your brain because it is the muscle you use most.

Meanwhile, using it so often and asking it to lift so much of the weight of life, can lead it to being exerted to exhaustion. We risk injury, ie. mental illness and related concerns, if we don’t offer it some support.

This is where grounding comes into play. Grounding activities, particularly mental grounding activities, help to activate your prefrontal cortex. Your prefrontal cortex is the part of your brain that is responsible for all your higher-order characteristically human capacities, like language, problem solving, rational thinking, and so on. Our prefrontal cortex is where our executive functioning lives – this is the part of us that can assess, make decisions and determine next steps. When your prefrontal cortex is working, it acts as a support system to your stress centre – when your stress centre says “time to freak out”, your prefrontal cortex, if sufficiently strong, will jump in and say, “hang on a sec, let’s assess and go from there.” The problem is that our stress centre is connected to a very long evolutionary history of keeping us safe – it jumps to conclusions and acts without consulting your prefrontal cortex. Because we have trained our stress centre to be really strong, it dominates the conversation in our mind. It calls the shots without consultation. This is why we have to train our prefrontal cortex – the more intentional we can be about working out our prefrontal cortex, the stronger a voice it will have to demand that our stress centre take a breath before reacting and allow a more balanced conversation to unfold.

Again, if we anchor to the muscle analogy – think of your stress centre as your abs. You do a ton of crunches and sit ups and bicycles – you do this every single day and over time you get some killer abs. Now, think of your prefrontal cortex as your back muscles. If you don’t equally work to strengthen your back, having killer abs will be largely ornamental and not super functional. Strong abs without a strong back sets off your alignment, weakens your posture, and limits your ability to engage in activities with the full strength that your abs have to offer. When you value the supportive muscle groups, you support your whole self and that’s what we’re aiming for. You’ve done a great job working out your stress centre. I’m sure it is really strong – but is it helping you? Is it capable of doing what you need it to do, when you need it to do it, in a way that benefits you? My hunch is that the answer is no. My guess is that your stress centre leads you to overreact or underreact in certain situations. That it might lead you to freeze in some situations, and go overboard, exhausting it’s own reserves, in other scenarios. I would bet that it often leaves you feeling regret about how you handled something, or uncertain about what to do next. And I bet it costs you a lot of energy. Energy you likely don’t feel you have to spare.

So, if we are going to train our brain to strengthen the prefrontal cortex to help balance out our stress centre, let’s get to it. Today we’re going to talk about 7 totally practical activities you can do, anywhere, anytime, to help with mental grounding – and yes, you’ll find these in the show notes as a quick reference if you need them after you’re done listening. Let me state that these work best when practiced and can be used whenever as a training tool. That said, these can also be fantastic tools to pull out in moments of high stress, particularly if you’ve practiced them in times of lower stress, to help turn your prefrontal cortex on and give it a vote in the decisions your stress centre is making. When people do therapy for anxiety, panic attacks, and things like that, grounding activities are some of the first things we cover as they can be really effective ways to help the brain regulate fairly quickly.

1. Use short term recall. Your prefrontal cortex loves to notice differences and distinctions, track things and make use of short-term recall. Try a memory game – google “spot the difference pictures” and you’ll find an endless collection of images where your brain can work to find the distinctions. Similarly, playing memory with the flip cards, or playing that game with your kids where you line up items and take a few away to see which ones are missing, can be great fun ways of strengthening your prefrontal cortex…and theirs! Also games like bop-it or simon where you have to keep track of an order can be easy to do solo or with others.

2. Play a categories game. I often suggest to my clients that they play the alphabet game. Choose a category – fruits and veggies; singers; song titles; movie titles; Disney characters; dog breeds…legitimately it could be virtually anything, and work the category through from A-Z. Try to find at least one thing for each letter. If you get stuck, remember that the point of the activity is not to actually find something for each letter, it’s to turn on your prefrontal cortex and regulate your stress centre, so if you’re starting to get stressed that you can find a fruit or veggie that starts with x, skip it and move on. No one will ever know, you are not being tested.

3. Use math. Your prefrontal cortex is heavily involved in all things n...

Physical Grounding & Brain Health (Back to Basics Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 14 Dec 2021 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

In today’s episode we are continuing to work on back to basics for brain health and we are finishing this series by address grounding. What exactly is grounding? Grounding is a term we use to describe various activities that help people to feel anchored to present time, space and capacity. So often in the busy-ness of our lives, we get caught up in thinking about the past, or focused on the future. Thinking of that next place I need to be or reflecting on that time way back when… When we are spending time in past or future, ruminating about things that have happened or anxious about the next thing to happen, we activate our stress center. Our stress center's job is to help us manage significant stressors – but when we’re talking about past or future, there’s not a lot we can do about those stressors right now – so our body just sits in the distress of having our stress center running without anywhere to put that energy that meaningfully changes or supports the past or future scenario. The role of grounding is to help us anchor back to the present moment, in our present space, in our present day selves.

When we engage in grounding activities, we help to quiet the stress center of our brain AND we help to resource it by strengthening connections to the best thinking parts of our brains (the pre-frontal cortex). The benefits of strengthening these connections between your stress center brain and your awesome thinking brain is that when stress comes, you will have enhanced capacities to navigate the stress from a place that utilizes some of your best thinking resources. If we don’t work to build these connections, we’ll be more likely to feel overwhelmed or shut down by stress, unable to find a way to navigate it, or being reactive to stressors rather than thoughtfully responsive to them.

For today we’re going to focus on physical grounding activities, and in coming weeks we’ll talk about mental grounding and emotional grounding. Blending activities related to all three together will give you the most bang for your buck in supporting your brain, so it can give back to you in big ways. So do be sure to listen to all three episodes and pick out some action items that you are going to try out sometime during your week.

Alright, Lindsay’s list of physical grounding activities:

1. Interact with hot and cold. Using temperatures to help our bodies anchor can be really useful. One version of this is holding an ice cube, or putting an ice pack on your neck, or submerging your hands in cold water; and then if you want, try alternating this with a heating pad or submerging in warm water. The sensory feedback of more extreme hot and cold is something our brain will tend to focus in on and prioritize over other kinds of fleeting thoughts, so using temperature can be a great way to help your body connect to present and anchor here.

2. Actually get grounded. A few weeks ago Dr. Catherine Multari, the naturopathic doctor who joined us for our episode on nutrition and supplementation and the brain shared a suggestion to go out into your yard, take your shoes off and spend some time with your feet in the grass. Plant yourself. Root yourself. There is something that ties us to the earth and connecting to nature is a part of who we are. Another version of this is putting bare feet into sand or digging with bare hands in the garden. It is the tactile connection between us and the earth.

3. Use sensory objects. Have you seen those fidget spinners or those silicon poppers that they make for kids to manage ADHD or tendencies for stimulation? Having some kind of object that encourages tactile connection can be super helpful for adults too and can be extra useful in stressful situations. For example, I often suggest that clients going to court choose a tactile object – a particularly smooth rock that feels soft and calming to the touch, a pendant necklace or bracelet that has some bumps on it that they can touch, or similar kinds of things. This tactile feedback when practiced can help remind our brain to ground, calm and regulate even in more stressful situations. I have some stress balls I love the feel of, and a necklace that has some pointy parts that are helpful to ground me, and a rock I carry in my purse at all times that is a bit bumpy. They are objects that I can draw attention to, that give my brain sensory feedback and move it into interpreting that sensory information – when I use them regularly in calm moments, they build a connection to being calm – so when I use them in more stressful moments they prompt my brain to associate with calm and bridge me back to the part of my brain that has access to calm, logical, capable, and so on.

4. Breathe. Obviously we are breathing all the time and that should be a no brainer, but most of the time, particularly in higher stress, we are breathing wrong. Most people, whether they know it or not, breathe relatively shallow a significant amount of the time, and hold their breath more often than they realize. Taking deep intentional breaths, and building breathing activities into your daily life can make a big difference to your general health and wellbeing, benefit your brain, and support more effective stress management. We’ve talked on the show before about box breathing as an easy example of a breathing technique you can try out – as a reminder in box breathing you breathe in for a count of 4, hold for a count of 4, exhale for a count of 4 and hold for a count of 4. Do this for a few rounds, and then resume normal breathing.

5. Savour something. Choose a flavour or a scent and savor it. Draw awareness to it and allow yourself to really soak it in. Find a mint you love, a gum you love, a small candy you really enjoy and focus on the flavour. Alternatively, find scents that make you feel calm or give you a big breath and find ways to access that scent wherever you can. I do this in all kinds of ways. I keep mints I like at my office, lip chaps I love the smell of in my purse, a roll on essential oil that helps me breathe more deeply and feel more energized, and other essential oils that I diffuse at my home, at my office and in my car that make me feel calm and connected to good things. Be in the moment with the smell or the flavour and really focus on enjoying it. What I love about this is that these pieces tend to be able to fit into small moments and be portable, so they can be easily accessible in a lot of workplaces or on quick breaks.

6. Move your body. I think we’ve heard a lot between our episode on fitness and our episode on mind-body connection, about how movement is good for us. When we are moving our bodies we need to have some amount of connection to where we are and how we’re moving so we don’t bump into someone or knock something over. Being in movement means having some amount of present moment conscious awareness. You can also use moments of movement to build your grounding skills – for example, while you’re out for a walk, really focus on your breathing. Try breathing in for 3 steps, hold for 1, breathe out for 5 steps, hold for 1. Play around with the count, but use this as a time to focus. Another alternative is being out for a walk and really paying attention to what you hear around you.

Keep in mind, the more you practice the better grounding works – don’t give up and do lots of repetition. Simple is better – don’t make it complicated. And last but not least, get creative and find ways to bring grounding into every part of your day – at home on your own, at the park with your kid...

Screens & Brain Health (Back to Basics Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 07 Dec 2021 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

Today we continue our series on Back to Basics for Brain Health and we are diving into the digital era’s great controversy – screens and brain health.

Let’s start with talking about the common challenges that come up around digital health for First Responders and Front Line Workers. Some of the most common ones I hear in my office include feeling tired and finding social media scrolling, video games or TV to be easy, passive ways of feeling like they are “doing” something without actually having to “do” much of anything. Another concern is that engaging with screens becomes addictive – we seek the stimulation, the noise, the comfort of the busy-ness around us. There is significant reward to scrolling and stumbling on that hilarious cat video, or hearing an alert that let’s us know someone has liked something we’ve posted, or watching just one more episode of whatever the latest show is… Another challenge is that so much of what we once did is now on our devices. My husband criticized me awhile back for being on my phone a lot while the kids were in the room, and at first I agreed that it was likely more than I wanted to model – but I also realized that when I was a kid my parents ignored us for lengths of time to read the newspaper, call their families, read a book, read the mail, and so on – and now ALL of that is on my devices. So no wonder we’re spending so much time in front of screens! It’s also true that screens are just a very significant and unavoidable part of our day – interacting with screens and technology has become a central aspect of many workplaces, schools, and other public venues. It is also a part of our home lives as we help kids navigate homework or seek to connect with friends for a game or online chat. It is so embedded into our tasks and needed actions that even if we restricted use for pleasure, we would still find ourselves spending a lot of time in front of a screen.

Recognizing that there are some trip wires that get us hung up in a ton of screen time – let’s talk about the impacts. The research has largely focused on the impacts for kids and I think a lot of parents feel concerned about their kids screen time and work to manage that as well as they can given whatever factors are at play for their family. For adults, the difficulty is we don’t have our own adult to censor and help us manage our behaviour. We have to self-impose restrictions or guidelines that serve us well as people in relationship with tech. And that’s tricky, because one thing most people struggle with is some version of self-control.

The thing about self-control is that it’s not fun. The reward isn’t obvious or direct – it isn’t as rewarding as finding that hilarious goat yoga meme that makes you giggle every time you think of it. So doing self-control feels like it means depriving ourselves of something rewarding for some long-term benefit we don’t feel a clear sense of achieving that feels too far into the future to really hang our hats on. Which is why, even when we try really hard to reduce screens or regulate other parts of our lives, we will tend to inevitably fall back into old patterns.

We talked about this concept a bit with Zam in the episode on fitness and brain health. We talked about how the long term reward of fitness is worth it but feels hard to wade through the uncomfortable parts early on where there are fewer short-term rewards to keep us motivated. He talked about the intangible rewards and anchoring to these, and we also talked a lot about having to really anchor to WHY it matters.

We’re going to have to take a similar approach when it comes to talking about screens, self-control, and working to side-step the tendency to fall back into old patterns.

Before we start talking about how we’re going to shift and shape our relationship with our devices, let’s first acknowledge some of the significant impacts our existing relationships with tech have on our brain and our wellness. I want us to feel grounded in the WHY for wanting to take a step back from our coveted devices. And trust me, I’m talking to myself as much as I am to the rest of you!

Let’s start with this one – the advent of tech the way we experience it today has meant that we never get to turn OFF. The whole entire world is literally CONSTANTLY at our fingertips. Yes that means cat memes, but it also means that email from your boss, and news about bombings in Syria, and text messages from your mom guilting you for missing Thanksgiving, and, and, and… It is never ending and can become inescapable. It gives people who used to have more concrete boundaries in place, like your boss or co-workers, a level of access to you that they likely shouldn’t have – and it can feel suffocating. This has meaning for our poor brains that are holding way more than they were ever meant to, and not granting our brains a break from stimulation, expectation, demands, and information overload. There is some indication that this degree of connectivity is related with increasing anxiety rates. I can appreciate that the access to be connected to feels meaningful for us – but the reality of what it means to be “on” all the time has real consequences in terms of our wellness. For example, one study found that adults exposed to more than 6 hours a day of screens (including TV and computers) were significantly more likely to suffer from depression.

One of the pieces cited in studies linking devices to mental health concerns like depression is not just to do with the information overload, but also with the sedentary nature of engaging in device use. We are finding ourselves to be an increasingly sedentary culture. I hear from a lot of First Responders and Front Line Workers this echo of “I was run off my feet my whole set, when I’m on my days off I don’t want to move.” And I get it – although I likely have the opposite problem as someone who is literally paid to sit all day. But this circles us back to that interview with Zam a few weeks ago – movement is one of the pieces that benefits our brain and our bodies in such meaningful ways, and the problem with devices is that they tend to really trip us up from getting the movement we need. They keep us engaged but stuck all at the same time, and that can be a contributing factor to mental health declines into depression.

Alright, we also have to call out the impact of screens on sleep and we’ve already talked about sleep’s impact on your brain. We touched on this one a bit in our episode two weeks ago with Dr. Glenn Landry. The problem with screens and sleep is primarily two-fold. First, the blue light wave emitted by screens and other lights mess with our brains ability to produce melatonin at the right time when it’s time to feel sleepy. This can make it harder for your brain to fall asleep and can mess with your sleep cycle – which then has negative consequences for your ability to feel regulated and capable when it’s time to wake up and face another day…especially when this adds up on an ongoing. Aside from the blue light issue, we also face the challenge of “revenge bedtime procrastination” which we also touched on with Glenn in our episode on sleep. We didn’t go far into it, so let me take a second here. Revenge bedtime procrastination is identified as a tendency to feel like we’ve earned some time to ourselves at the end of a long hard day. Work is finally done, dinner’s been made, the kitchen is clean, the kids are in bed, I FINALLY have some time to do something for ME. So we put on a show, that turns into 2, 3, 4 episodes; or we open a social media platform and scroll and scroll and scroll and scroll – and suddenly 3 hours have gone by and I should have been in bed 2 hours ago and…well…since I’m already so late ...

Mind-Body & Brain Health (Back to Basics Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 30 Nov 2021 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

Thanks so much to Olivia Mead from Yoga for First Responders – check out YFFR and learn more here.

I am grateful for our conversation and the chance to dig into the brain science behind yoga and insights into training our brains to offer their best back to us. I so value Olivia’s background and deep-rootedness in the research as well as her commitment to supporting our community heroes who serve and sacrifice.

We talk in this episode about taking yoga out of the chic studios and getting back to gritty training that we can use in real life. We talk about the essential aspects of mind-body connection and use of breath work and related yoga tools to support life in high stress. We also dig into the research and rant a bit about the system…you’ll love it!

Olivia Mead is the Founder and CEO of the non-profit organization YogaShield® Yoga For First Responders® (YFFR). Olivia is a life-long yoga practitioner and has studied Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, Human Performance, and Trauma-Sensitive Yoga for Veterans. She has taught yoga since 2003 and has focused primarily on public safety since 2013 starting at Los Angeles Fire Department and Los Angeles Police Department. Since then Olivia has taught thousands of first responders and military personnel around the country and has spoken at several trade conferences, events, and public safety agencies. Olivia is a member of the Law Enforcement Educators and Trainers Association and the International Society of Fire Service Instructors.

Olivia shares about YFFR’s app which you can find by clicking here or by searching for YogaShield (YFFR) in google play or app stores.

You can also find YFFR on social media @yogaforfirstresponders on Facebook, and Instagram.

Episode Challenge:

Choose at least one takeaway from today’s episode and work on applying in your life! And if you’re brave enough, tell us about it – reach out on Facebook and Instagram (@lindsayafaas), or email me at support@thrive-life.ca and share what you’re up to, how you’re making use of what you are learning during our Back to Basics for Brain Health Series and how it’s going.

Additional Resources:

Absolutely do go and check out YFFR and learn more here. They have a ton of resources and supports and are genuinely trying to help make a difference for those who sacrifice so much on the front lines.

And if you haven’t checked it out yet, or it’s been awhile since you used this tool to self-assess and check in with your wellness, grab our free Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide to help assess where you’re at on the burnout spectrum and to get proactive in course correcting.

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Sleep & Brain Health (Back to Basics Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 23 Nov 2021 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

Thanks so much to Dr. Glenn Landry, sleep specialist and creator of the Survive Shift Workprogram. Glenn has generously offered our listeners a 40% discount on this program using exclusive coupon code: BEHINDTHELINE. To learn more about Glenn’s work, his program, and private sleep coaching services – you can learn more at elitesleep.ca.

During this episode we talk about the common challenges with sleep facing those who work on the front lines, including falling asleep; staying asleep; nightmares; panic waking; and “bedtime revenge procrastination”. Dr. Landry walks us through what it means to build a sleep window, protect the sleep window and allow sleep to fill it. He offers some useful tools like the “sleep accountant” and addresses proper sleep architecture. All of this and so much more in included in his comprehensive sleep training program designed for shift workers, and if you struggle with sleep quantity or quality, I would highly recommend taking a look at his program and making use of the exclusive discount he has offered out listeners.

Episode Challenge:

What is one thing you can take from today’s episode and begin applying TONIGHT when you head for bed? If you’re open to it, I would LOVE to hear what you are going to work on – so give me a shout out on social media @lindsayafaas on Facebook or Instagram, comment with your thoughts on this episodes video on my YouTube channel, or shoot me an email at support@thrive-life.ca and let me know how you are working to apply what you are learning from our Back to Basics series.

Additional Resources:

Check out Dr. Landry’s program, Survive Shift Work and use the exclusive 40% discount for our listeners (coupon code BEHINDTHELINE)
Accessing Surviving Shift Work is done in 4 easy steps:

Click on this link https://education.elitesleep.ca/courses/surviving-shift-work
Create a new account
At the checkout, enter this coupon code: behindtheline
Make sure to click the _Apply_ button to activate your code

If you haven’t, go check out our free Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide – a downloadable self-assessment tool to screen for burnout and related concerns that also offers steps to get on the road to prevention/recovery.

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Connect with me on Facebook and Instagram, or email me at support@thrive-life.ca. I love hearing from you and tailoring this podcast to meet YOUR needs! If you love what we’re doing, please share this podcast with those you know. I appreciate every like, rating and review – every single one helps this resource be seen by other First Responders & Front Line Workers out there. Help me on my mission to help others just like you to not only survive, but to thrive – both on the job and off.

Nutrition & Brain Health (Back to Basics Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 16 Nov 2021 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

Today I am joined by naturopathic doctor, Catherine Multari to discuss common challenges faced by First Responders and Front Line Workers when it comes to nutrition, and strategies to benefit our brains to support sustainable health through nutrition and supplementation. And yes, we go WAY beyond “salad good, junk food bad” and work to make our conversation applicable to real people with real lives and the need for convenience in the midst of the chaos.

Catherine Multari is a licensed naturopathic doctor. She has been practicing in Port Moody, BC for two years. Previously Catherine was an elite athlete competing in the sport of rowing for team Canada on the international stage. Her experience as an athlete highlighted the importance of health basics- sleep, nutrition, supplementation and visualisation. Following her athletic career, Catherine has spent the last 7 years diving deep into the basic pillars of health and transitioning to a clinical role- where she now helps patients of all ages and backgrounds build a health foundation that can figuratively wither any storm. To connect with Dr. Multari, email info@portmoodyhealth.com.

During this episode we talk about common presentations of First Responders and Front Line Workers in Dr. Multari’s office – including inflammation, feeling exhausted, fatigued or lethargic, struggling with racing thoughts, and a general sense of feeling not healthful or experiencing a full, rich and connected life. We talk about ways our nutrition choices can add to this picture, creating a vicious cycle, and ways to step out of the cycle. We also discuss common supplementation needs for those in high stress jobs, and the ways these benefit your brain so you can keep doing what you do to the best of your ability.

To learn more about Dr. Catherine Multari, check out her work here.

To access more information about naturopathic medicine, check out:

The College of Naturopathic Physicians of BC

The Canadian Association of Naturopathic Doctors

Each province has it’s own regulatory college of Naturopathic Doctors, search to find one in your area.

Episode Challenge:

Choose ONE THING from today’s episode to work at implementing in your own life, and then tell us about it! We want to hear from you – so find me on Facebook and Instagram, or email me at support@thrive-life.ca and let me know what you chose and how it’s going.

Reflect on where you’re at and what you might need by using our free Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide.

Tell those you know about the podcast, and that they can find it on our website, here; on most major podcast platforms; and on YouTube. Help others access these resources.

Additional Resources:

Our free Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide to self-assess burnout and identify immediate next steps to turn things around.

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Fitness & Brain Health (Back to Basics Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 09 Nov 2021 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

Thanks so much to Aaron Zamzow (aka “Zam”) for taking the time to join me today. What a gift! Zam is the owner of Fire Rescue Fitness, with a background in personal training and then experience in the fire service. He has blended these pieces to create intentional fitness program to develop functional fitness tailored to the needs of the job.

Today we connected to chat about the impacts of fitness on brain health. We dig into the challenges and barriers that get in the way of prioritizing fitness, ways to circumnavigate these barriers, and tools for implementing meaningful change to give our brains their best chance. He breaks it down in some really straightforward and totally do-able steps that you are going to LOVE.

A little more about Zam:

Aaron Zamzow has over 18 years of firefighting experience as an on-call paid firefighter in Golden Valley, Minnesota and is currently a career Firefighter/ EMT and Training Officer in Madison, Wisconsin. He is the owner of Fire Rescue Fitness, a company that creates workout programs and fitness articles that focus on getting Fire Rescue Athletes "fit for duty." Aaron holds a Bachelor of Science degree in health and wellness, is a NSCA-Certified Strength and Conditioning Specialist, a NASM-Certified Personal Trainer, a Precision Nutrition Practitioner, and an ACE Peer Fitness Trainer.

He has also, worked in the fitness industry for over 25 years and has experience working with the general population as well as athletes from the NBA, NFL, and NHL. He is the author of numerous fitness programs catered toward Fire Rescue Athletes (firefighters, EMTs and medics). He has recently been published in and writes for Firehouse, Fire Rescue Magazine, Lexipol, FR1 and numerous other first responder publications. He has consulted with numerous departments on the best practices for firefighter fitness and has also managed personal training departments and teams for some of the largest health club chains and fitness businesses. He is excited to bring his enthusiasm and knowledge of the fitness industry and fire/ ems service to the program.

Aaron (Zam) is on a mission to help transform, motivate, and educate 100,000 firefighters, EMTs, and medics to get “fit for duty.”

Check out Zam’s programs! Learn more about Fire Rescue Fitness here, and try out the 28 day free trial here. Check out Zam’s blog resources listed below under “Additional Resources”.

Episode Challenge:

Choose one of the stand-out suggestions that Zam offered in our conversation today and make a plan to implement is starting NOW!

If you want to dive deeper into broadening your wellness repertoire and really digging into building your brain and your reserves, invest in you! Take a look at the Beating the Breaking Point online resilience training program that I developed tailored to support the key needs of First Responders and Front Line Workers in reducing burnout and enhancing sustainability. Don’t forget, from now until Thursday November 11th, we are offering Beating the Breaking Point for $100 off! This is the last chance to register for the program at reduced cost for 2021, and I hope you choose to invest in you and your sustainability by joining. I carefully crafted this program and tailored it to the needs I heard arise most frequently from my clients. The things they wished they had known sooner, the things that might have helped prevent them from landing in MY office – that and more is what you’ll find inside Beating the Breaking Point.

If you don’t know a lot about the program, the quick recap is that it’s a 7-week online training designed specifically for First Responders and Front Line Workers. It develops tools for resilience while acknowledging the ways in which your job isn’t like other jobs. The program includes a thorough and comprehensive workbook designed to help you personalize the information and put together a rock solid plan for sustainability, and if you’re not sure if it’s right for you, it’s ok, because we back it with a 30-day money back guarantee. You can learn more about the program and all the details at here and register here using coupon code BTBP100OFF.

Additional Resources:

Check out Zam’s programs! Learn more about Fire Rescue Fitness here, and try out the 28 day free trial here.

Check out some of Zam’s blog posts on topics related to our conversation today…

20+ Reasons First Responders Should Workout

Healthy Nutrition Leads to More Resilient First Responders

The 5 Fitness Tips Every First Responder Needs to Follow

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Back to Basics Brain Health

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 02 Nov 2021 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

We’ve wrapped up our therapy 101 series and we’re moving into a new series called “Back to Basics”. In my role as a therapist, I find that a lot of my time with clients, especially when they first start coming to therapy, is spent supporting them in addressing some pretty basic concerns – things like sleep, nutrition, movement, and other pieces that contribute to their brain health and their brains ability to be resilient. We have to address these pieces because if we don’t, they’ll continue to undermine the work we’re trying to do. These basics are the framework for everything. Throughout the series we will be bringing on experts to talk about each topic.

Today, we’re going to do a bit of a brain basics primer – an introduction, if you will, to our brains and how our brains are impacted by high-stress, predictably unpredictable jobs that can involve shift work, toxic dynamics and a host of other challenges. We’re going to talk about how stress effects you even when you think you’re not *feeling* stressed, and how to help your brain do it’s best job – which in turn helps you do yours.

Episode Challenge:

Invest in you! Take a look at the Beating the Breaking Point online resilience training program that I developed tailored to support the key needs of First Responders and Front Line Workers in reducing burnout and enhancing sustainability. Don’t forget, from now until Thursday November 11th, we are offering Beating the Breaking Point for $100 off! This is the last chance to register for the program at reduced cost for 2021, and I hope you choose to invest in you and your sustainability by joining. I carefully crafted this program and tailored it to the needs I heard arise most frequently from my clients. The things they wished they had known sooner, the things that might have helped prevent them from landing in MY office – that and more is what you’ll find inside Beating the Breaking Point.

If you don’t know a lot about the program, the quick recap is that it’s a 7-week online training designed specifically for First Responders and Front Line Workers. It develops tools for resilience while acknowledging the ways in which your job isn’t like other jobs. The program includes a thorough and comprehensive workbook designed to help you personalize the information and put together a rock solid plan for sustainability, and if you’re not sure if it’s right for you, it’s ok, because we back it with a 30-day money back guarantee. You can learn more about the program and all the details here and register here using coupon code BTBP100OFF.

Additional Resources:

Reflect on where you’re at and what you might need by using our free Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide.

Connect, Rate, Review, Subscribe & Share!

When Goldilocks Meets Therapy (Therapy 101 Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 26 Oct 2021 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

Thanks so much to T.C. Randall, ER Nurse of 14 years and author of The View From The Wrong Side of The Day (Buy his book, it’s great!), as well as Jennifer Pound, recently retired RCMP Staff Sgt. and face of the Integrated Homicide Investigation Team (IHIT) in Vancouver, and creator of the blog Fuel For First Responders.

We broke this conversation about their experiences navigating therapy with an occupational stress injury into two parts. This week we talk about finding the right fit with a therapist and working to recover.

Go back to the previous episode to hear our talk about the difficulties navigating the system and accessing support that fit.

Episode Challenge:

Where have you had success in seeking support? What types of support have been most helpful to you? Are they meeting your needs right now?

Reflect on where you’re at and what you might need by using our free Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide.

Register now for the Self-Care Dare 5 Day Challenge for First Responders and Front Line Workers! Registration will close November 1st at 11:59PM. The dare kicks off on November 2nd. Registration is only $10 and includes 5 days of video lessons around 5 key domains for self-care; bonus resources and worksheets to develop a bombproof and sustainable self-care plan; access to our private facebook group to connect, problem solve and hone our skills; and fun prizes along the way to keep you pushing forward. If you are needing to up your self-care game, join us and take the dare.

Additional Resources:

Buy T.C.’s book: The View From The Wrong Side of The Day
Check out Jenn’s blog: Fuel For First Responders

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Therapy Is Like A Pair Of Jeans (Therapy 101 Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 19 Oct 2021 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

We broke this conversation about their experiences navigating therapy with an occupational stress injury into two parts. This week we talk about the difficulties navigating the system and accessing support that fit.

Join us next week for the rest of the conversation about finding the right fit and working to recover.

Episode Challenge:

What learnings can you take from T.C. and Jenn’s experiences? How does your organization map out a path to accessing support when there is need?

Reflect on where you’re at and what you might need by using our free Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide.

Additional Resources:

Buy T.C.’s book: The View From The Wrong Side of The Day
Check out Jenn’s blog: Fuel For First Responders.

Connect, Rate, Review, Subscribe & Share!

The Skinny on Therapy and Finding Your Fit (Therapy 101 Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 12 Oct 2021 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!! I prefer giving over receiving, so for my birthday week I declare a blitz giveaway of my full resilience training program, Beating the Breaking Point, designed specifically for First Responders and Front Line Workers!! Go to the page and click to register before 11:59PM on Monday October 18th. Use code BIRTHDAY to get this 7-part online training program for ONLY $99!

Today we’re continuing our series on therapy 101 – focusing today on where to look for a counsellor; what to look for in a counsellor; what to ask a potential counsellor (and how to go about doing that); and what to expect from counselling (particularly early on).

Where to look for a counsellor: Different people stumble into counselling through different routes, and it’s important to acknowledge that there are lot’s of ways to find a professional support person.

- Google, how did we ever live without it?? The great thing about google is the ability to find someone conveniently located to you or to search for someone who specializes in a particular area of need. The downside to google and scanning clinicians’ websites is that it doesn’t disclose a lot about the persons personality and whether they’ll be a fit for you.

- Online counselling-specific directories, tend to ask specific fill-in-the-blank questions that allow prospective clients to compare and contrast clinicians skills, interests and so on a bit more side-to-side.

- Professional association directories, offer some amount of safety in knowing that the clinicians represented on the directory meet some minimum criteria for education, training and experience.

** NOTE: I know I shared at length in last week’s episode about how counselling is not regulated in many areas, so this might seem confusing. Professional associations are not the same as regulatory colleges – professional associations are run by the group they represent. An example of this is the BC Association of Clinical Counsellors – I register with them, meeting their inclusion criteria, and I pay them annually to be allowed to represent myself as a Registered Clinical Counsellor (RCC). They have an ethical guideline that I am required to abide by to remain a member in good standing, but the guidelines are formed and enforced within the group, and the only ultimate outcome of failing to abide is to be barred from membership but can’t strip me of my ability to continue to practice since the profession overall is unregulated where I live and work. A regulatory body is intended for public safety to ensure that practitioners meet expectations and offers recourse if expectations are not met including being barred from continuing to practice altogether. Professional associations role is to support their members, but they do offer a layer of protection to the public in having some specific criteria for acceptance. **

- A referral from your GP

- Word of mouth referral from a friend or someone you know

- Other professionals who are often connected to counsellors they’ve worked in parallel with – like lawyers, chiropractors, naturopaths, or other para-medical professionals tend to know clinicians whom they trust to refer to.

- Non-profit or government funded agencies can offer referrals or direction including crime victim assistance, ministry of child and family development, community mental health, legal aid, and first nations health. These groups tend to be well-connected to their respective community organizations and privately operating mental health professionals and can suggest who might be a good fit for your needs.

What to look for when looking for a counsellor:

1. Education. The main professional associations across Canada require that their counsellors have a Masters Degree in psychology. Individuals who have completed this level of education will have done a four year undergraduate Degree as well as a Masters program typically between two and three years in length. These programs include training in assessment, treating psychological disorders, working with individuals/couples/families/children, and working with a variety of wellness concerns including relationship issues, work issues, addictions concerns, grief and loss, etc. These programs also include intensive practicum/internship experiences where students complete a given number of hours directly counselling clients under the supervision of a professional.

2. Registration with a Professional Association (if not in a regulated area). You want to see letters after their name. In areas that are regulated, this is taken care of for you. But for those in unregulated areas, look for registration with a professional association which helps to protect the client. Finding a registered counsellor acts as a bit of a safeguard – you know they had to pass specific criteria to get registered which means that they have the fundamental things they need to effectively help you. Belonging to a professional association requires your counsellor to abide by specific ethical guidelines and it gives clients a place to voice any concerns/complaints. In addition, belonging to an association means that your counsellor is getting regular information about training, resources, and other information that allows them to be even better at their job.

3. Be specific about what you want.

a. First, be clear about what kind of clinician you are looking for. Check with your extended medical coverage to see what credentials they cover, and look specifically for someone who meets that. It stinks to go see someone and connect with them only to discover that you can’t get reimbursed for those sessions after the fact. Clinicians do not know which medical programs cover which credentials, so you have to do this piece of diligence to ensure that you are finding someone who will be covered.

b. Second, be clear about what you are needing counselling for and find someone who specializes in that area. Just like there are GP’s who are generalist medical practitioners, and then there are specialists who focus on a specialized area of medical practice, therapists similarly have generalists who work with a range of needs but aren’t necessarily deeply versed or trained in any given one, as well as highly specialized clinicians who invest in dedicating themselves to a specific area of treatment. So if you’re looking for relationship counselling, don’t go to someone who tends to focus on depression. If you’re looking for counselling around a recent or past trauma, don’t go to someone who prefers to do career counselling. If your work factors in as a significant aspect of what you hope to work on in therapy, I would really encourage you to seek out someone who has a specialization in working with trauma, as well as experience working with other First Responders and Front Line Workers, as you are a somewhat unique demographic and tend to benefit from someone who gets your unique challenges.

Alright, you’v...

In The Room Where It Happens (Therapy 101 Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 05 Oct 2021 18:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

Today we are kicking off our series on therapy for First Responders & Front Line Workers and the topics we’re hitting in this episode include: what therapy is all about, where to find a counsellor, and what to look for in a counsellor.

What a therapist is: This will vary depending on where you live. Here in British Columbia, and in many provinces throughout Canada, counselling and therapy are not “regulated” professions. What that means is that literally anyone can go out and call themselves a counsellor or a therapist without having any specific training, experience or demonstrable competency whatsoever. In other professions like nursing or medicine or even massage therapy, someone cannot call themselves a nurse or a doctor or an RMT unless they are registered with the appropriate professional college. This system ensures some amount of protections for the general public that when they are seeing someone with a specific designation they know that have met some minimum competency criteria to operate under that designation. Unfortunately in counselling, no such publicly held system exists to protect those seeking support at times where they are most vulnerable

** If you want to get involved in voicing your concern about public safety and advocate for professional regulation, check out the links provided below under “Additional Resources” to organizations working in various provinces across Canada to lobby provincial governments to do better. **

If you live in one of the provinces or states where counselling is regulated, it will be easier to find a therapist who is qualified and competent. If you live in BC or in an unregulated area, your efforts in finding a qualified counsellor will be a bit more difficult.

When we talk about what therapy is about, it’s about finding safety with a professional who works to serve your best interests by ensuring their own competency and credibility in whatever area of practice you are needing support in. It is really important that we identify the shortcomings of our system so that we can seek out explicitly the kind of support that is most likely to result in beneficial outcomes. It let’s us go in with our eyes wide open, and not feel as tripped up when we see some of the challenges for exactly what they are.

What therapy is for: Therapy, when done right, is intended to be a safe space to talk through and make sense of the various challenges you’re facing, alongside someone who is trained to walk you through that process in ways that are grounded in what we know to be effective from research. Much like many other medical professions, therapy is about listening to concerns, assessing needs and triaging interventions to support recovery and healing. Now, that’s a broad example and can apply to all kinds of different concerns, whether it’s trauma and PTSD related issues, or relationship concerns, or mood related challenges, or addiction issues, or general stress and difficulty coping, counselling works to give you a space to step back from the busy chaos of life, grow some clarity and work to develop tools to meet needs and make change.

What therapy is about (and isn’t about): Many people think that “sharing” in therapy means divulging every minute painful detail of our lives. Reliving our traumatic experiences. Feeling all the feels of every hardship ever experienced. That’s not therapy. While therapy may involve some amount of some of these things, therapy is NOT therapeutic or effective if we spend every minute drowning in all the hard stuff. Therapy is a balancing act of acknowledging the hard, finding space for clarity, feeling what we need to feel to support us in making choices about what we need and navigating change. A therapist’s role is to help us hold that balancing act – to not let us drown in the hardness of it all. To hold the tension of all that is hard with all that is good; all that’s been lost with all that’s been gained; all that’s been hopeless with all that is hopeful.

How to know when counselling is right for you: There is never a bad time. You may have times where your needs are not as acute or high, these tend to be times where we’re less inclined to seek therapy because we’re doing ok – but it also tends to be the time where we could be doing some really meaningful work from a place of greater capacity and internal strength to be preventative and proactive in supporting our wellness going forward. For example, if I have a history of depression but right now I am not feeling depressed, it might seem like I should wait to seek counselling for when I’m struggling…but what if I spent this time while I’m in my well place working to develop a plan for when I’m not doing so well? What if I used the energy, motivation and capacity I have in my well time to invest in developing some resources and supports, some interests and self-care, some strategies and tools for managing my depression long-term. Wouldn’t that be better than waiting for when my mood drops again and then desperately seeking out someone to help pull me out of it?

There isn’t a wrong time to seek counselling, but all too often our tendency is to wait until we’re in the deepest darkest hole possible. The hard thing about waiting for that place, is that it’s so much harder to get out. It takes longer. And it can feel too slow. On top of it, given some of the practical limitations we’ve already identified in getting into seeing someone and accessing support, the process of recovering can be even more delayed and prolonged.

My suggestion would be to use the Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist and Triage Guide to help guide you. If you are showing moderate to severe ratings on the checklist, you would benefit from seeking professional support. If you are in the mild to moderate range of the ratings, you would benefit from engaging in some pro-active and preventative measures to support your sustainability to help keep you from going down when hit by more stressors, or as the seasons change and it’s gloomy outside, or other factors hit.

If you are in that mild to moderate range and not sure that therapy is the right fit right now, I would also encourage you to consider jumping in on our next round of the Self-Care Dare which is an intensive 5 day challenge designed specifically for First Responders and Front Line Workers to hone their self-care and grow their tool kit for wellness and sustainability. We’ll be launching the next dare in October 19th, so keep an eye out for that or sign up for our email newsletters to be the first to access registration.

Episode Challenge:

Check out the Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide and assess your needs for support. If you sit in the mild to moderate range, consider joining the Self-Care Dare 5 Day Challenge for First Responders and Front Line Workers to get a jump start on building a bombproof self-care plan to keep you sustainable.

Additional Resources:

Find the original blog posts on our clinic website (as well as a bunch of other awesome ar...

In the Dark Hole (Suicide Prevention Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 28 Sep 2021 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

Today we are finishing our series on suicide risk prevention, and in some ways we’re wrapping up in the place I intended for us to start. Today we’re talking about what it is like to be the person in the deep dark hole. We’re going to talk about the slippery slope that tends to send us into the hole, how to recognize the hole we’re in, ways to work at intervening to try to find a ladder back out and resources and supports that can help to do that

What leads us into the dark hole: Suicide does not happen in a vacuum. By and large, it doesn’t come out of thin air. It is most typically the “last resort” option that someone can perceive in an effort to cope with too much for too long. For some it is a means of escaping the heaviness of the world. For others it is a sense of controlling what I can in a world where I feel as if I control very little. It often feels tied to a sense of helplessness and hopelessness, and sometimes a belief that the world would be better off without me. Getting to that place doesn’t just happen, like one day I’m totally fine and the next day life isn’t worth living. Most often it is a gradual wearing down of my sense of capacity, control and hope for a future that feels meaningful.

When we face gradually additive stressors, we don’t tend to notice the impact these are having on our mental health and wellness as dramatically as we would if one terribly catastrophic thing were to happen. The gradual and cumulative effect adds a little bit and a little bit and a little bit until we feel so overcome that we can’t continue.

For many on the front lines the problem is a bit convoluted. On the one side, you are a normal person. You have normal people problems. Problems that can in their own right be pretty stressful. Children who are sick or have special needs, elderly parents you are supporting, financial strain, and the zillions of day-to-day life stressors, big and small, that we’re having to navigate. Then, you have the problems you face as a result of the work you do. Your Tuesday is being present for someone’s worst day, on repeat. You are exposed to suffering, desperation, pain and so much more within conditions that can feel toxic and/or dysfunctional. All the while you are seen to be this kind of noble person with a noble profession, that can make us feel somewhat restricted from being permitted to fall apart or be human in some of the spheres we’re in. We’re busy, trying to coordinate and negotiate the intersection of our normal people lives with our professional lives. Oh, and our professional lives colour everything. What we see, hear, know and are exposed to in the work taints how we feel and engage outside of the work. We get more guarded, vigilant, hyper-aware – we’re tuned into risk and threat and work to be ready to jump into action no matter what venue we’re in. And to manage all of that, there’s the numbness. The thing that gives a break from feeling the intensity of it all piling up…but not really. Not really, because it’s still all right there. And I have to do it all again tomorrow.

The pace and complexity of navigating these multiple facets of who we are and what our lives are composed of, along with hereditary predispositions, can move us toward physical and psychological health concerns. Sleep is disrupted, appetite, coping behaviours like substance use or screen time, fatigue, irritability, mood swings… We can gradually move down this path and into spaces like burnout, compassion fatigue, vicarious trauma, posttraumatic stress disorder, depression, anxiety, and so on.

Now, this slippery slope of gradual compounding stressors and the associated mental health concerns I’ve just listed do not in themselves mean that someone will become suicidal. However, the risk for suicide increases exponentially when stressors are high, coping is low, and mental health concerns have become present. The risk increases further if we have had any previous experiences of suicidal ideation or actions, as well as if we know someone who has attempted or died by suicide.

Unfortunately it is common that those in First Response and Front Line Work don’t know what to look for. We hear a lot of the right buzzwords about breaking the stigma, getting help, seeking support – blah, blah, blah. But not being given clarity around what it looks like to need to do these things. We look around and it seems like everyone is struggling, so we assume this is just how it is and we keep on going. We silence ourselves, sometimes even from ourselves, to keep putting one foot in front of the other. And we can march ourselves right into that deep dark hole without a clear path out. So tired by the time we get there that we can’t muster the strength to look for a path out. That’s the helpless, hopeless place.

I don’t want that for you. For any of you. It’s why we need to have these conversations – need to confront the uncomfortable things in an effort to equip ourselves. I want you to be the person who does know. The person who saw the indicators and did something about it BEFORE it got so deep and dark.

Knowing what to look for: we need to get really clear about the things that lead us into the dark hole. The thing about life is that it tends to keep moving – which can be part of the problem we find ourselves faced with. We get caught in meeting the day-to-day challenges, along with the big and small stresses that show up along the way, in tandem with a career that is predictably unpredictable. The nature of life continually moving along, is that we can get a bit dragged along for the ride, leading into some perpetual version of survival mode. We can be so caught up that we fail to notice the forest for the trees – we lose track of how we’re doing, whether our lives feel in alignment with what we want or like or would hope for. These pressures and tendencies to feel stuck by the cumulative weight of life can happen for many in the work, but this can be exacerbated by a hereditary predisposition to mental or physiological health concerns, as well as any amount of experiences throughout our lives of trauma or more severe stress. When we have overlap of these kinds of risk factors, it is going to be important to have awareness of what we need to be looking for – our own personal indicators and risk factors that let us know that we’re not doing so well, need support or otherwise need to attend to what’s happening.

For example, if I know that I have family members who struggle with depression and anxiety, that I have a family member who has attempted suicide, that I have some early life exposure to stress, that I have my own history of struggling with low mood sometimes, and that on top of my work right now I am also facing stress related to separation or financial concerns or something like that – the interaction of these multiple risk areas and stressors can quickly add up to feeling unable to cope. As these add up, we can grow increasingly helpless and hopeless, overwhelmed and out of control, disconnected and devalued. This is the place where risk becomes significant, particularly if we begin to pair this with planning or fantasizing about methods to end our lives, beliefs that others in our lives would be better off without us, untreated acute mental health concerns, and access to lethal means. As these factors combine and layer on top of one another, the day-to-day life stuff can easily tip the scales and the exposure to suffering within the work can sit differently. We can start to see ourselves in the stories of those we work with, or wish to trade places with those we are serving. Those can be some solid indicators that we are pretty deep in the hole.

Grief & "Business as Usual" (Suicide Prevention Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 21 Sep 2021 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

We are continuing our series on suicide prevention and today we are talking about how we cope when we haven’t been able to prevent a suicide – what we do when our workplace is impacted by the loss of a co-worker who has died by suicide. As we’ve identified in this series so far, those working in first response and front line work are at a higher risk of suicide than the average population, and as such it also means that we’re at higher risk of grieving the loss of a co-worker to suicide. I know that for many of you, it’s hard to not be stumbling on yet another anniversary of the death of someone you’ve worked with – that it can become numbing to cope with the sheer volume of compound losses. For others, the frequency may not be so high, and when co-worker suicides happen you may feel shocked and uncertain how to hold it. We’re also left with this expectation to keep going. To show up and put in your shift set. To carry on carrying on and act as if it’s “business as usual”… in part because to some extent, it is. You are an essential service who is at a higher risk for suicide, and there is expectation that you figure out how to manage the risks of the job, including the loss of people you have been connected to.

WARNING: While you may be able to avoid, ignore, numb or stuff our grief-related feelings around a given loss, or maybe even a series of losses – this will eventually sink you in it’s own right. Avoiding it isn’t actually avoiding it – it’s not steering you away from the iceberg right ahead – it’s more like covering your eyes while careening directly toward it. If you don’t deal with grief and emotions, it will eventually deal with you. That’s a promise, and I have a ton of clients who would echo that this is 100% true.

Common emotions that emerge when someone in our sphere dies by suicide include:

- Guilt. We can feel like we should have seen it coming, should have known somehow, should have done more, connected more. We can carry a sense of guilt for not knowing the person was struggling, or for not taking indications of risk more seriously, or for taking actions to help but these not being successful in preventing suicide.

- Anger. Often being a witness to the aftermath of a suicide leaves us feeling angry with the person who committed suicide. Anger for the impact this leaves behind for those left to continue living and working out how to carry forward with this significant event now a part of their story. We can also experience anger toward situations, people and systems that we perceive as being participants in the factors leading to suicide.

- Sadness. When a person matters to us and we lose them, sadness is an appropriate emotional symbol of the mattering they held within you. Sadness can feel uncomfortable for many, we’re still working to dispel long-held cultural myths about sadness equating with weakness. Sadness is really about missing and grieving something or someone that mattered to us. It is an echo of their mattering, and we shouldn’t want to trade that – because ultimately we are creatures of connection and having people matter to us and mattering to others is the most fundamental aspect of human living.

- A jumble of emotion. There’s an episode of a cartoon called “Daniel Tiger’s Neighbourhood” – it’s a spin off of Mr. Rogers Neighbourhood and I highly recommend it. In one of the episodes he sings a little song about how “you can feel two feelings at the same time.” Most of my clients have heard this little jingle because it’s valuable for us to know and understand. Humans rarely feel a single emotion. More often than not we feel not only one or two emotions, but rather a host of emotions simultaneously – sometimes even competing or mutually exclusive seeming emotions. We’re complex, and our emotions reflect our innate complexity. Sometimes we can be feeling guilt, anger and sadness all at once. We can remember good times and feel gratitude for those moments and memories while also feeling angry that we’ve been robbed of more time with a person we care about. The jumble of emotions can lead into expressions of our emotions that can feel hard to name or make sense of – frustration, irritability, mood swings, difficulty making sense of things, confusion, difficulty sleeping, and so on. We can struggle to know how to make sense of this thing that has happened – often feeling like we’re left with so many questions unanswered.

- Numbness or Action. For those who have worked within first response or front line work where crisis response is part of your moment-to-moment work every single day of your career, you may also find that you jump over emotions and move directly into numbness – the tuning out of feelings to continue on functioning; or into action mode – where you try to do and solve and fix and manage rather than be and feel.

- Disenfranchised grief. One of the strange emotions that can emerge as a co-worker to someone who has died by suicide, is feeling not entitled to having an emotional response. After all, you aren’t their spouse or child or family member or close friend. You worked together. That’s it, right? We can feel like our feelings need to not matter, or that the feelings we feel are silly or disproportionate. Meanwhile, in first response and front line work, co-workers often work very closely with one another. Shifts are often 8-12+ hours, spending more time together during waking hours of the day than that person likely will with their spouse, children or other close people in their personal lives. Many first response and front line work organizations are built on concepts like brotherhood or family. There is mutual respect, protection, and looking out for one another. These are professions where we rely on one another to stay safe and solve problems that can be life and death. You are riding out the highs and low’s of that together, and it builds an allegiance and bond that runs deep and has impact much like it might for those in the persons personal sphere.

These plentiful and big feelings tend to be why we try to hard to avoid and steer clear of really feeling them. It seems too big, too much, and we have to keep functioning somehow. The thing about grief is that it’s often compared to skidding on ice – when you slam on the breaks and steer to fight the skid it tends to get a whole lot worse, but when you let go of the gas and steer into the skid you tend to course correct a heck of a lot quicker with less likelihood for total catastrophe. When we try to do all we can to avoid grief, we make it worse and it becomes a bigger problem to get ourselves out of on the other side. Meanwhile, if we can try to let go on controlling it a bit and allow ourselves to move with the direction it’s steering us, we tend to be able to come out of it less damaged.

Grief can feel nebulous because it doesn’t really have a strong sense of timeline. It’s hard to say when we’re done grieving – some, myself included, would say that likely we never really are “done”. Grief ebbs and flows – days will feel easier and then harder again, triggers will happen that prompt us back to remembering and grieving a new piece connected to the loss of someone who has mattered to us. The thing about grief is that it is an emotional symbol of our living. If we’re really living, we’re really doing this life thing where we are connecting, feeling meaning in connection with others, and...

Elephant in the Room (Suicide Prevention Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 14 Sep 2021 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

We are continuing on with our series on suicide prevention for First Responders and Front Line Workers in the workplace. In today’s episode we’re talking about how to name the elephant in the room and really identify the risks of suicide within front line workplaces. I know that it can feel hard and uncomfortable to confront this topic – we can find it difficult to look it in the eyes. I’ve talked to so many people about this and consistently what I hear is this: we’re afraid of naming it, because naming it makes it real, and if it’s real, we might discover that we can’t handle it. And what would happen then? The wheels would fall off. It would all fall apart. We might fall apart. And we can’t risk that, so we keep that elephant in the corner, acting as if it’s not there, because that somehow seems safer. Meanwhile, people are dying. People you know. People who you share something in common with. …So is it really safer?!

During this episode I mention a couple of statistics and research articles – you’ll find links to them here if you want to take a closer look:

- The Ruderman Family Foundation white paper report here.

- Paramedic PTSD rates here.

- Stats on trauma, PTSD and suicide (not mentioned in this episode but helpful) here. Additional article here.

How to support suicide prevention in the workplace:

1. We have to start by doing the very hard thing of calling out the big fat stinking elephant. Putting it in the corner isn’t helping anybody, and it may actually be putting everyone at higher risk. We can’t change problems that we can’t identify – naming the issue is the biggest step we can take toward making it different.

2. Next, we need to help other people name it too. One of the most significant barriers to seeking support around mental health concerns and suicide risk is, you guessed it, STIGMA. We fear that people will judge us, think less of us, be afraid of us, reject us, or a host of other fears. We need to work at cultivating conversations that help people know that we are safe to talk with, and work to build safe communities within our workplaces…yes, even when, or ESPECIALLY when, the overarching workplace dynamic is hostile or dysfunctional. Bringing up mental health and suicide can be uncomfortable, but the more you do it the more normal it becomes. And modelling this gives permission for others to do the same – it sets an example that we can grow more openness and gesture care for each other by bringing up the hard topics. Note that those afraid that naming suicide promotes suicide – this has been debunked repeatedly in the research. The truth is, asking the question shows you care to ask a hard question. It shows someone who might be struggling to feel worthwhile that they are worth it enough for you to be uncomfortable asking about their safety and their needs. Talking about suicide does not increase suicide. It opens the issue to allow people who might be headed that direction to feel seen, heard, known and valued – resulting in less risk, not more.

3. Knowing what variables tend to increase risk for suicide can be valuable as you assess yourself and the risk for those around you. Check out the handout I created for workplaces to support navigating suicide risk prevention by clicking here and snagging the pdf – it offers a good quick-reference guide to prompt you through what pieces to look for, questions to ask, and steps to take. Search Behind the Line Lindsay and then go to our podcast page to access the show notes to snag this resource.

4. Recognize barriers to support and help to circumnavigate where possible. The truth is, there are a lot of barriers to support. Stigma is among them but not the only factor that limits people from connecting with the support they need to find a way out of the dark holes we can feel caught in. For many, the cumulative stress that leads to mental health concerns that then dig us into the dark hole leaves us without the energy or the sense of resources to be able to seek out the support we need, or the energy to access it even if we know where to go and what to do. On top of that, resources themselves can be few and far between – particularly right now, we are facing a practical shortage in accessibility to physicians, psychiatrists, counsellors, mental health programs and so on. In our own clinic, we have seen our prospective client intake emails nearly double month over month since early this year as a result of the ongoing pandemic and related stress and anxiety. The reality is that it can be hard to find professional support with availability – often facing really long waitlists – and it can be challenging to find someone who feels like the right fit. There can also be practical barriers, like finances, transport, childcare, hours of availability clashing with shift schedules, and things like that. It can make the complexity of getting help so much harder in reality than it might seem like to an outsider of the situation.

Finding the energy to traverse these many hurdles when already feeling caught in the dark hole place can feel insurmountable. Having close people offer to help make phone calls, bridge to supports, and get a foot in the door can be a huge help. These gestures of practical support, while valuable in scaffolding to professional support, is actually even more valuable in gesturing care to someone who feels hopeless. It becomes emblematic of the hope that continues to exist in the world, and this can mean more than you know to someone who is caught in it. If it’s you that’s caught in the dark hole, while I know that it can feel impossibly difficult, reach out and let someone in your life know that you’re struggling. If you can, be clear about what kind of help you would find helpful – what can they do to meaningfully support where you’re at right now?

5. Be a beacon of hope. Let’s remember that more often than not, people aren’t committing suicide because they want to die. More often than not, people are committing suicide because they can’t see a way out of the dark hole. They feel like death is the only way to escape how complicated, hard and hurtful the world can be. Or, they feel like death is the one thing they can control on a life that feels too far out of control to rein in. The common tale of suicide is despair, disconnection, helplessness and hopelessness. When we see this story being lived out, in someone we know or in ourselves, what is the need? The need is hope. The need is to feel empowered in our lives. The need is connection and care. The need is to be seen, heard, known and valued. The need is practical sometimes, digging out of tangible constraints that feel like they can drown people – support navigating bankruptcy, divorce, the loss of a loved one, and so on. The need is to have others show up to fight alongside, offering the glimmer of hope that I’m not alone in the battle.

There are all kinds of ways we can work to support needs like thi...

Risky Business (Suicide Prevention Series)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 07 Sep 2021 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

Welcome to season 2 of Behind the Line! We are kicking off this season with a big topic: suicide prevention in the workplace for First Responders & Front Line Workers. As we head into this series, I anticipate it will bring up some discomfort, and possibly some grief for those who have been impacted by the loss of co-workers or others due to suicide. Today’s episode will cover some of the requisite skills we’re going to need as we walk into this topic together for the coming month. I’ve included some additional resources and tools for each week of this series, so come back to the show notes to find more, and please share this series with others in your life.

Friday September 10th is Suicide Prevention Day – learn more about First Responder trauma and suicide risk prevention here.

During this episode I identify the high risks for First Responders and Front Line Workers in developing increasingly complex mental health concerns and risk for suicide as a result of burnout and related difficulties. If you haven’t yet, please check out our Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide for self-assessing burnout and risks for related concerns. Share this resource within your workplace and to those you know in First Response and Front Line work.

As we navigate into this difficult topic, today’s episode focuses on four key pre-requisite skills that we’ll need firmly in place to go through this series together: Clarity; Boundaries; Bravery and Empathy. For each of these we identify what it is, how it relates to suicide risk prevention, and ways to practically integrate each skill starting NOW.

Clarity. Clarity can seem like a fairly simple and straightforward concept – to be clear about something. But the challenge with clarity is that it doesn’t come without some effort. Clarity doesn’t tend to just land in our lap – it requires that we carve out some space and time to shut out the noise and focus in. We need to get clear, we don’t just stumble into it. To work on our wellness and develop skills to reduce the risk for suicide and the mental health concerns that tend to lead toward suicide, we need to cultivate a routine to stepping back from the noise and chaos to get clear about the challenges we’re facing, the impacts those challenges are having on our wellness and our lives, the needs we may have in the midst of these challenges, and the strategies for supporting these needs by using or developing supports, resources and tools. I say often that we can’t address problems we aren’t aware of – this is what clarity is really about – seeing what is happening, getting clear on breaking it down and figuring out what needs to happen to reduce or resolve it.

Feeling caught in a never-ending spiral of meeting unreasonable demands from our employer and the public, mixed with sacrificing so much of ourselves to the work, along with the detrimental impact this tends to gradually have on our relationships with spouses, children, family and friends can set us on a trajectory toward hopelessness, helplessness and powerlessness - and this is a dangerous combination. Prioritizing time for clarity and working to anchor to the things we value and leaning into being the person who lives out our values can be protective - it can help divert us from the trajectory and keep us rooted to hope, connection, and empowerment.

So how do we implement clarity? Start by doing two things – first, download our Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist and Triage Guide– print off several copies of the self-assessment page. Next, set aside some time in your calendar on a monthly basis to start. Each month during this time, use the self-assessment to see where you’re at. Use this to ask yourself some key questions about the areas where you seem to be struggling and what you can do to help support those areas more proactively for the coming month. If you want to dive even deeper, have your spouse/partner or a trusted person in your life fill out the assessment as they see you and ask for their feedback on ways you may need to be focusing on supporting your wellness differently. This is a practical way you can start carving out time and space for clarity and a structured tool that can help prompt questions to kick things off. As you feel more comfortable and confident in this process, you can grow your questions to consider additional areas of your life not covered in the indicators checklist to further refine your clarity as it pertains to your life and the person you want to be within it.

Boundaries. We talk a lot about boundaries out there in the world. It’s one of those topics that we’re really good at paying lip service to but tend to be less skilled at actually meaningfully engaging. Boundaries often bring up fears for people about offending or hurting other people’s feelings; worries about creating distance in relationships and alienating people in our lives. It also tends to bring up stuff in our culture about humility, self-deprecation and servitude and believing we need to be giving and gracious towards others. That said, they say that you can't pour from an empty cup, and it's true. If we don't set limits to protect our cup and what's in it, it will quickly be dumped out and run dry. And then what? Then we are at higher risk for burnout, compassion fatigue, vicarious trauma, posttraumatic stress, anxiety, depression, relationship difficulties, and yes, suicide.

Boundaries have two pieces:

1. Internal Boundaries: these are limits I set with myself. Limits like, I'll only stay at an event for an hour to ensure I'm home in time to get the rest I need; I'll only pick up shifts a maximum of twice in a month to ensure that I value my days off and carve out "me time"; and so on. These are boundaries that I may never speak outside of my own head, but are limits I set within myself to identify what I value and how I will go about reflecting that value and protecting it from getting swayed by things outside of my values.

2. External Boundaries: these are more like the classic boundaries we think of that we set outwardly with other people. It may include boundaries with co-workers about our willingness to engage in debriefs, or limits with others in our lives around the questions they ask about our work (eg, "have you ever shot somebody?"), or a million and one other examples of limits that need to be set to teach those in our lives how to respect us well and care for our values alongside us.

When we engage in identifying areas where we need boundaries (internal AND external), and when we work at enacting these consistently to protect what matters to us, we get to lean into what matters to us more and more, and feel less and less constrained by distractions and needs that aren't our priority. We get to live more of the lives we long for, and this helps to protect us from some of the hard things I mentioned earlier, like burnout, compassion fatigue, vicarious trauma, and concerns leading to suicide.

To implement this skill, I want you to find some time and make a short-list of people who tend to overstep your boundaries or ask a lot of you; or situations where boundaries would help protect your time, energy and values. It’s a short-list, so...

Front Line Families & Single Parenting

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 29 Jun 2021 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

Thank you to Maria for joining me today and sharing her story and thoughts around ways to manage the balancing act of front line work and the unique challenges of single parenting. I so deeply appreciate her willingness to share her insights.

During this episode Maria shares about the challenges she has faced in finding a balance – an ever changing balance to be sure! She shared about having to “always be on” and that others who have a partner or additional help may not understand the feeling of constant pressure and having to be everything to everyone. We talked about what it is like to be “on” at work, caring for everyone’s needs, and then “on” at home, having to manage all of the household and parenting tasks solo, while also trying to maintain mental health and sanity.

Maria shared about her own learnings and ways she tries to balance – some of her insights include:

- Simplify wherever possible. Make use of meal delivery services or grocery pre-order services to take some of the stress out and reduce time spent doing the “task-y” stuff.

- Focus on what matters. Maria shared about her custody arrangement and that when she is with her kids she tries to let other things go by the wayside to focus on what is in alignment with her values – sharing time with her kiddos.

- Have grace. Remember that the time with kids is short in the scheme of things. “The days are long but the years are short” so they say. Try to hold grace for your self and for all the expectations to spend time, make mistakes, and find connection.

- Give permission to NOT be perfect. Allow permission for yourself to be human and to share that with your kids. Be mindful to keep it in the realm of age-appropriate, but know that it’s ok to not always be at your best with your kids and that this can benefit them in the long-term, to see and know that as adults they don’t have to meet unreasonable standards.

- Find care for you in the small moments. This is something Maria shared learning about when participating in the Self-Care Dare 5 Day Challenge for First Responders & Front Line Workers. We talk a lot about the “big and small moments” and that often it’s the small moments that count for a heck of a lot when they add up. When single parenting and trying to balance so many pieces, the “big” self-care things tend to be harder to find the time and space for, but we can get REALLY creative about finding small things and letting them add up to mean something significant. If you are curious what this can look like for you and how to implement a strategic plan to enact this, sign up for the waitlist to join the Self-Care Dare when we run it next!

Episode Challenge:

Share today’s episode with someone you know who is balancing front line work and single parenting. We know that divorce rates are disproportionately high amongst First Responders & Front Line Workers, so help us spread some support to those who may be struggling to feel seen, heard, known and valued as they walk a journey that can feel really isolating. If you are a front line working and single parent, I challenge you to consider some of the things you already do to show yourself some care, and to consider some small things you could add in to help grow your self-care repertoire.

Additional Resources:

Get on the waitlist for the Self-Care Dare 5 Day Challenge for First Responders and Front Line Workers!

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Front Line Families & Family Life

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 22 Jun 2021 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

Today we are continuing in our series on front line families and the topic today is around family life and cultivating a legacy with intention. During this episode I invite you to think back and reflect on your own experiences within your family of origin; your experiences throughout your lifespan; and the multi-generational impacts that continue to show up and inform who and how you are today. I encourage you to work at engaging similarly in understanding the context and “baggage” of others in your life who you are close with.

During this episode we talk about how our experiences shape us, and can have deep impact in our present-day lives if left unchecked. We discuss the process of looking at our context and growing awareness of the ongoing impact that our experiences have for us. From there, we talk about how awareness arms us with the ability to have power over our experiences and be intentional in shaping how we continue to allow these to influence our lives. We talk about the idea of legacy and being a “legacy change-maker” – anchoring to how we want to be remembered and living into being the kind of person I hope others would see me as.

It is hard to summarize today’s episode, so I am going to encourage you to listen carefully and revisit this one if it’s helpful. I also think that this topic is extremely needed, and I hope that you will share it with those in your life that you think would benefit.

**If there are other concerns that come up often in your home that you would like me to tackle in another episode, shoot me an email at support@thrive-life.ca and let me know.

Episode Challenge:

Engage in the exercise described in the episode – take time to reflect on your family of origin, your experiences throughout your life, and the multi-generational factors that impact you. Spend some time, whether in your mind, with a journal, with a trusted person, or with a counsellor considering how you want to be intentional around the legacy you leave and what it looks like to live into the values you choose to carry forward.

Additional Resources:

Register now for the Self-Care Dare 5 Day Challenge for First Responders and Front Line Workers! We had SO much fun the first time that I can hardly wait to do it again!

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Front Line Families & Parenting

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 15 Jun 2021 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

Today I am joined by clinical counsellor Heather Toews to discuss the challenges facing First Responders and Front Line Workers who are also juggling the art of parenting. We spend time talking about the difficult transition from work to home, from the perspective of Heather’s previous experience as a child protection social worker. We talk about the impact of what we see on the front lines and the ways this can infiltrate our parenting. And we dig into some tangible ways to work at supporting ourselves and our kids to separate the influence of work from home (*hint, you’re going to hear about self-care!*).

Heather created an awesome handout that you can snag here, that reviews some of the concepts we discussed today and can act as a reminder prompt as you work to develop your transition skills. And check out her parenting program for parents of children with trauma, Trauma Attuned Parenting.

Episode Challenge:

Work on crafting your list of play ideas that you enjoy – extend an invitation and initiate play/silly/connection in an area that you feel comfortable in that your kids also enjoy.

Additional Resources:

Check out Heather’s Trauma Attuned Parenting Program, here and learn more about her work supporting families struggling with the impacts of trauma.

Register now for the Self-Care Dare 5 Day Challenge for First Responders & Front Line Workers!

Connect, Rate, Review, Subscribe & Share!

Front Line Families & Partnering

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 08 Jun 2021 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

Today we are shifting gears from our series on daring leadership to a new series on front line families. Tin this episode we are focusing on partnering and the challenges that couples face as a result of the unique stressors involved in first response and front line work. I break down 4 of the common concerns I hear from front line couples/families and work to get clear on the heart of what’s happening and some skills to regroup and reconnect.

The 4 common concerns I hear from front line families include:

1. My partner struggles to be present with me and our family. Even when my partner is home, it feels like they aren’t connected.

At the heart of it: I miss my person.

What’s needed:

For the front line working partner: Efforts at skill building around grounding and being present at home. Investing in tools for anchoring and mindfulness can be a big support in really being home when you’re home and getting to fully enjoy what life outside of the work can bring you.

For your partner: Understanding and a shift in expectations that at times your brain will check you out. Clarification around what tends to trigger “checking out” can be helpful for them to have the ability to see it coming and support adjusting and adapting expectations in moments that are harder to remain connected.

2. My partner struggles to talk about what is happening with them. I get that they are trying to protect me from what happened in their day, but I feel like I’m losing connection to knowing them.

At the heart of it: I miss my person, and feel missed by them.

What’s needed:

For the front line working partner: Developing conversational topics that allow for you and your partner to join around common interests and shared subjects. If you can’t talk much about work, invest in finding other topics to bring up and share in together. Try the Gottman Card Deck app (google play link / apple store link) for conversation starters and check out their Love Map deck to work at joining and supporting one another in feelings seen, heard, known and valued.

For your partner: Again, shifting expectations is going to be important. Recognizing that we may not get to connect around “what happened in your day” the same way other couples do, but not allowing this to deter connection. Changing the types of questions we ask or ways we connect can be helpful. Supporting the effort to find shared meaning and subjects for connecting around goes a long way.

3. My partner struggles with emotions. They seem to rage or be numb, without much in between.

At the heart of it: I’m worried for my person and worry that our family doesn’t know what to expect.

What’s needed:

For the front line working partner: Efforts at skill building around emotion regulation and being present are again going to be significant here. Invest hard in tools that support your capacity to regulate. This might include some boundaries around the transition home, extra buffer in your commute, doubling down on self-care, investing in therapy, etc. You need to be clear with your partner about what you need and what your plan is. Coming up with a code word/phrase/gesture can help to alert people in your life that you’re having a hard moment and need to check out for a bit – with the agreement that you will use this time to actively engage in tools to manage your extremes and come back when you can be connected.

For your partner: Understanding and a shift in expectations that these challenges are common for first responders and front line workers. Clarity about their concern and support in skills to help navigate. Tons of self-care to support their own needs (see below).

4. Given my partner’s struggles, I feel like I carry the weight of keeping everything at home afloat, and I feel like my partner doesn’t see how much I take on or have compassion for how hard it is on me at times.

At the heart of it: I’m struggling too and need to be seen, heard, known and valued.

What’s needed:

For the front line working partner: Investment in your partner. Acknowledging their efforts and sacrifice. Energy expended to offer support. Listening to their day with openness and non-judgemental capacity. Compassion for their bad days.

For your partner: Accept help from your partner and others. Invite people in to your struggle, even if it’s a therapist/professional who can support you well. Take care of yourself and focus on your own needs. Provide clarity to your partner about your needs and how they can help meet them.

**If there are other concerns that come up often in your home that you would like me to tackle in another episode, shoot me an email at support@thrive-life.ca and let me know.

Episode Challenge:

Try out the Gottman Card Deck app (google play link / apple store link) – it can be a lot of fun if you let it!

Additional Resources:

Sign up for the waitlist for the Self-Care Dare 5 Day Challenge for First Responders and Front Line Workers! We had SO much fun the first time that I can hardly wait to do it again!

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Daring Leadership & Tying It All Together

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 01 Jun 2021 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

Before we jumped into the episode topic, I mentioned a couple of exciting pieces…

1. Our social media contest is happening now until June 7th. Find me on Facebook and/or Instagram and follow the contest rules to score a chance to win a fun prize!

2. We are running the Self-Care Dare 5 Day Challenge for First Responders & Front Line Workers again at the end of June. Registration will open June 15th and the dare will kick of June 29th, but you can get early access to registering by going to our podcast page (here) right now and signing up for the waitlist!

Some final thoughts and resources from Brené and Dare to Lead:

Armored Leadership vs. Daring Leadership – check out the list here.

Tools to Give & Receive Feedback – check out “The Engaged Feedback Checklist” here.

Episode Challenge:

Additional Resources:

Remember to check out our social media contest and let us reward you for helping us get the word out to others who are struggling on the front lines (links to social media below). We want to grow our reach and support those in need. We also want to hear from you and tailor this resource to offer you the support you need most. AND sign up for the waitlist for the Self-Care Dare 5 Day Challenge for First Responders and Front Line Workers! We had SO much fun the first time that I can hardly wait to do it again!

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Daring Leadership & Fuel for First Responders (with Jennifer Pound, Retired RCMP)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 25 May 2021 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

Episode Challenge:

Additional Resources:

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Daring Leadership & The View From The Wrong Side Of The Day

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 18 May 2021 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:
I am so thankful to T.C. Randall for joining me today, sharing his experience as an ER Nurse of 14 years now off on medical leave due to work-related PTSD. Our conversation today focuses on the impacts of broken systems to the very real people working to offer services and make a difference to our communities…people exactly like you. We also work to talk about our perspectives around what needs to change and where we can collectively work to transform the system from the inside out.

1. Cultural Level Change:

a. Reducing stigma around workplace mental health and wellness (speaking, clarifying, normalizing and supporting that no one comes out unscathed).

c. Normalizing support seeking, and clarifying ways to seek support and processes to access the appropriate support readily.

2. Management/Upper Level Change:

3. Public Awareness Level Change:

a. Supporting information for the public around reasonable expectations and the challenges facing the parts of the system they may interact with the most.

b. Supporting information for the public around ways to support the system on a broader level as well as the front line staff most directly impacted.

4. Structural Level Change:

a. Making support accessible (with fewer hoops and WAY more clarity around how to navigate the process). This is both a workplace-level challenge as well as a community-access-to-services challenge.

c. Taking a stance of prevention and early-intervention in all levels of problem solving rather than being in a constant state of reactively putting out fires.

Episode Challenge:

Additional Resources:

Connected to our series on daring leadership, I also continue to encourage you to grab Brené Brown’s book Dare to Lead. You may also enjoy some of her other books, including Rising Strong; Braving the Wilderness; and Daring Gr...

Leadership & Learning to Rise

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 11 May 2021 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:
Today’s episode covers the final aspect of daring leadership, following the work of Brené Brown in her book, Dare to Lead: Learning to Rise. This episode is all about how to handle the hard moments, and how to make them more fruitful for individuals and teams. The learning to rise process focuses on three main pieces: the reckoning, the rumble and the revolution.

Brené identifies three questions we should ask ourselves about our shitty first drafts:

1. What more do I need to learn and understand about the situation?

2. What more do I need to learn and understand about the other people in the story?

3. What more do I need to learn and understand about myself?

The revolution: This is an acknowledgement that participating in daring leadership skills, particularly those around rising, is revolutionary. It is culture shaping and transformative.

During this episode I talked about a couple of Brené’s free online resources related to today’s topic, here they are (you can access these and other free resources from Brené here):

The Story Rumble Process (A Tool for Groups & Teams)

Dare to Lead Read Along Workbook (you can find exercises including the piece I mention about “permission slips” in here)

Episode Challenge:

Notice your SFD’s (shitty first drafts) in various parts of your life and try checking them out with the people in your life. “The story I’m telling myself is…”

Additional Resources:

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Leadership & Trust

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 04 May 2021 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

Episode Challenge:

Consider bringing the braving inventory into your team and open discussion about applications within your team/workplace.

Additional Resources:

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Leadership & Our Values

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 27 Apr 2021 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

Step One: We can’t live into values that we can’t name.

1. Does this define me?

2. Is this who I am at my best?

3. Is this a filter that I use to make hard decisions?

Step two: taking values from BS to behaviour.

1. What are three behaviours that support your value?

2. What are three slippery behaviours that are outside your value?

3. What’s an example of a time when you were fully living into this value?

Step three: empathy and self compassion, the two most important seats in the arena.

Episode Challenge:

2. Work through the “operationalizing” process to identify behaviours that allow you to walk your talk.

Additional Resources:

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Leadership & The Power of Empathy

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 20 Apr 2021 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

The Five Empathy Skills:

1. To see the world as others see it, also known as perspective taking

2. To be nonjudgmental

3. To understand another person’s feelings (and be able to accurately label feelings – AKA Emotional Intelligence)

4. To communicate your understanding of that person’s feelings

5. Mindfulness

Click here to watch a short video by Brené Brown on the difference between empathy and sympathy/advice giving/etc.

Click here to jump to one of my favourite tools for building feeling fluency – the Feelings Wheel (it’s great, I promise!!).

Episode Challenge:

Additional Resources:

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Broken Systems, Leadership & the Rumble

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 13 Apr 2021 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

Today we are in week two of our series on daring leadership and cultivating a new generation of leaders who are equipped to lead with courage and transform the broken systems from the inside out. We are continuing to follow Brené Brown’s work, primarily from her book, Dare to Lead. Today we are focusing in on the first of four skills sets that she identifies as components of courage, which is a key facet of daring leadership.

As a reminder…

Brené Brown defines leadership as, “anyone who takes responsibility for finding the potential in people and processes, and who has the courage to develop that potential.” (emphasis mine).

And the four skills that are key components of courage include:

a. Rumbling with vulnerability

b. Living into our values

c. Braving trust

d. Learning to rise

This episode is focused on rumbling with vulnerability, and next week will be a part two of this topic digging into empathy and shame resilience a bit further as well as some additional concepts and skills that fall within rumbling with vulnerability. Following weeks will focus on the other three skills identified above.

The idea of the rumble comes from a speech made by Theodore Roosevelt in 1910: "It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”

This quote lays the groundwork for the idea of vulnerability and risking being in the arena, which isn’t always glorious, but is the only path to glory – the spectators (the “cheap seats” as Brené calls them) do not. Brené defines vulnerability as, “the emotion that we experience during times of uncertainty, risk, and emotional exposure.” Can you think of a time where you had to show courage and bravery where you didn’t feel uncertainty, risk and/or emotional exposure?!? Vulnerability is often misperceived as weak, but it is in actual fact directly tied, invariably, to every act of courage that has ever taken place.

Rumbling with vulnerability really just means that we are interacting with this uncomfortable space – that we’re not taking the easy way out and choosing the “cheap seats”, but that we are looking honestly at our own stuff, and inviting interactions with others that are open and willing to touch on things that can be uncomfortable but are also very meaningful. It means taking off the armor and being real, with ourselves and others.

Here is a link that shows the “Armored Leadership” versus “Daring Leadership” lists that come from Brené’s work – check it out here.

We acknowledge that we are often working in settings (and living in settings more generally for that matter!) that demand that we armor up. The broken sharp edges of the system require armor to survive, but this is also a contributing factor to burnout – we starve people of feeling seen, heard, known, and valued because we only reward the armor, which is not sustainable. This is why we need to change the system – to reward brave, courageous interactions that grow vulnerability and wholeheartedness.

This episode is the second in a series covering the principles that emerged from Brené Brown’s research and writing. I would highly recommend her book, Dare to Lead, and would encourage you to consider reading along as we cover pieces of it. I generally highly recommend her resources which include podcasts, a Netflix special, a youTube video on empathy and a TedTalk about vulnerability and shame from a number of years ago.

Episode Challenge:

Think about your sphere of influence. How can you offer small steps toward wholeheartedness within your sphere? How can you connect with others who are willing to do the work to do the same?

Additional Resources:

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Changing the System from the Inside Out

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 06 Apr 2021 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

Drawn from Dare to Lead by Brené Brown (2018, p. 4, 10-12):

Definition of Leadership: “I define a leader as anyone who takes responsibility for finding the potential in people and processes, and who has the courage to develop that potential.”

Her research identifies that there are three pre-requisites at the heart of daring leadership (as outlined in the definition above), and these include:

b. Living into our values

c. Braving trust

d. Learning to rise
Note: We will be covering these topics in coming episodes.

2. “Self-awareness and self-love matter. Who we are is how we lead.”

Episode Challenge:

Additional Resources:

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Processing a Pandemic with Courtney Jewell

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 30 Mar 2021 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

Courtney Jewell is an ICU nurse in Calgary, AB. In November 2020, during the "second wave" and the wave of anti-mask backlash from those with "COVID-fatigue" and the ongoing politicization of masking, Courtney posted her frustration on her social media. It went viral and was picked up by news sources across Canada (check out the Global coverage here). Here is what she shared, and you can link to her post here.

"I have been absolutely disgusted by the comments made by fellow Albertans on Facebook posts and news articles. These horrific Internet Trolls are spreading misinformation and baseless conspiracy theories about Covid-19 in our province. These awful people, hiding behind their computers are accusing Nurses and Doctors and data analyst of inflating the numbers, lying about the overwhelmed state of our hospitals, trying to fear monger or even trying to take advantage of all the overtime pay.

It’s gross, and I this is what I want to say to every terrible, ignorant person out there who has been changing my perception of humanity...we will still be there for you!

Despite all the crap you are spreading on-line, when you come into Emerg, with your eyes bulging out of your head because you can’t breathe...we’ll take care of you. Even at great risk to our own health, we will do everything we can to help you oxygenate better as Covid starts to ravage your lungs. And when you deteriorate, we will sedate you, intubate (put a breathing tube in) and transfer you to one of the EXCELLENT ICU’s we have across this province! Even though you’ve been spreading on Facebook that these critical care areas are empty and full of lazy staff that just want to collect overtime pay, we will care for you. We will carefully flip you onto your belly (prone positioning) so that your lungs can have a better chance to oxygenate. We will chemically paralyze you but be nice enough to make sure that you are well sedated so that you are not awake, paralyzed and scared. We will call your terrified and worried family members to tell them that we are doing EVERYTHING we can to save your life. When you go into acute renal failure we will put you on CRRT and become your kidneys for you. As the virus over takes your body, we will support your blood pressure, carefully titrating life saving medications so that you don’t suffer a cardiac arrest. We will bath you, clean your mouth and make sure to lubricate your eyeballs every two hours. I know you think we are just lazy and bored, but we’ll still do all this for you.

We will treat you with respect and dignity and compassion, because that is what we do. No matter what you have said, what you have done, we will care for you. Because that’s just who we are. We are not hero’s but simply people with compassion and who have a desire to help....we don’t need to be attacked right now.

And you know who else we care for??

We will care for your older brother who had a heart attack last night, and your son who was drinking and driving and smashed into a pole. We will care for your niece who had her first baby and then suffered a massive postpartum hemorrhage and your cousin who had a mental health crisis and poured gasoline over himself and lit himself on fire. Your mom who had a massive cancer surgery and your uncle who fell down the stairs and is now a quadriplegic. Because despite what you are telling everyone on-line, we are full of these patients as well.

So my dear ignorant, misinformed Internet Troll, even though you tried to take me down, make me lose my faith in humanity, I’ve decided that you won’t win. And when the reality of this crisis hits you in the face, or destroys the health of someone you love, we’ll be there for you.

I will stop reading the comment sections and continue to teach my kids that when there is a crisis...look for the helpers. And of course, to love thy neighbor!

So much love to my brothers and sisters, fighting in ICU’s across the province, especially to the staff at the Peter Lougheed here in Calgary. We, at the Foothills ICU are thinking of you guys!"

I so enjoyed this conversation with Courtney, and I hope that you found it meaningful too. It would be great to show Courtney some love for coming on and sharing her heart. We would love to hear what you found meaningful from this conversation - share with us on my Facebook or Instagram and I'll make sure Courtney gets tagged in! You can also give a shout out to Mike Sangster whose awesome post we share at the end of this episode.

I am also grateful to Mike Sangster, a pediatric PT from Halifax, who shared this (link to original post here):

"Anyone who really knows me knows that I love Spider-Man. I have loved Spider-Man since I was a kid. I wanted to be a superhero when I was six years old, and that dream never really left me, which probably explains why I chose pediatrics. Some of my patients call me Spider-Mike. This all started in my early career when a young patient and I shared our love for the webslinger and he told me that Spider-Man was the only real superhero because “Peter Parker was just a regular guy, just like us, who happened to be bitten by a radioactive spider”. Made sense to me.

In times like these, many people call healthcare workers heroes. Some celebrate us by making noise in the streets every night, giving us discounts at stores, and even thanking us for our service in the street. At the face of it, that makes sense. People need heroes because heroes save us when there is trouble. Heroes overcome the villains. Heroes give us hope. At the start of the pandemic I thought that maybe this was my Spider-Man moment. However, as I reflect on the past number of weeks, I know that none of us working in healthcare are heroes. Sure, we wear masks, face shields, gloves, and the PPE equivalent of a cape, but in truth we are a lot more like Peter Parker than we are Spider-Man. Peter Parker is a person, “just a regular guy” in the words of my patient, who is just trying to figure it all out. Behind his mask, he has suffered loss and experienced victory. He has doubts and sometimes wants to retreat. He feels every hit in every battle, noting in the movie ‘Spiderman: Far From Home’ that even though he is Spider-Man “it still hurts”. But he keeps showing up. He is scared that who he is puts his family and friends in danger. He longs for normalcy. And there is no superhero PPE to protect his heart and his mind.

We aren’t heroes. We are Peter Parkers. Behind the mask we are just trying figure it all out and do our best. And it hurts. But we will keep showing up.

One of the great Spider-Man quotes comes from Uncle Ben who says: “With great power comes great responsibility”. All of us have the power and indeed the great responsibility to flatten the curve. Please do your part, follow the guidance of our health leaders, and know that we will be there when you need us.

#nottodaycovid"

Thank you to those willing to talk with me, share their...

Processing In Community

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 23 Mar 2021 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

In today’s episode, we are talking about how to process our experiences (COVID-related or otherwise) with others in our lives. We are talking about shaping interactions intentionally and pro-actively – whether these be with colleagues who “get it” or our communities of supporters outside of the work who don’t necessarily get it, but care about us and want to offer what they can. We talk about seven key steps to setting up an interaction for success in an effort to process and make sense of our experiences. These seven steps are laid out in a free downloadable pdf info sheet that you can snag, here.

Episode Challenge:

Download the free pdf info sheet that pairs with this episode, and use it to work through the seven steps in at least one interaction this week. Challenge yourself to step outside of your comfort zone and try it out!

Additional Resources:

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What We Need To Process A Pandemic

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 16 Mar 2021 06:55:00 -0700

Show Notes:

In this week’s episode we are talking about the pieces that we need to have in place to set ourselves up for success as we work at processing experiences, including (but not limited to) something with the magnitude of a freaking pandemic. If you missed last weeks episode, you’ll want to go back and start there as much of this weeks episode is predicated on understanding what it means to process, which was the focus of last week’s discussion. Also, in case you missed it and would find it helpful, I’ve included the link to last week’s info sheet – a pdf download that you can access by clicking here. You may find this tool helpful to support you in covering your bases while you work at processing.

Key pre-requisites for processing:

1. Safety Is Key. The opposite of stress and trauma is safety. Safety helps to reassure our brain and our body that we are out of the hot-seat moment of a significant stressor or traumatic event and that we can let our guard down a bit. It lets our brain and body take a break from scanning for threat, assessing for risk, and running anticipatory scenarios to be prepared for all of the possible outcomes. Safety also helps us keep our brains and bodies anchored in a context that recognizes that we have not-so-safe experiences but that we also have some safe ones – which helps it to process from a lens that knows and feels connected to the fact that the world isn’t all bad or hard or stressful all the time. Skills to support safety include mindfulness practices which we talked about in Episodes 7, 8, and 9 of Behind the Line (check out our library of episodes here to listen to these)

2. Balanced Brains Process Best. In your work you run the risk of over-training the stress-center part of your brain (which we talked about in Episode 7). To help support the most effective processing, we need to ensure that we are cross-training our brains so they can use all their best resources to help us make sense of our experiences. We do this by consistently utilizing resilience skills, mindfulness practices and self-care routines (if you want to review these concepts, check out episodes 1, 2, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, and 14…yes, I know that’s a lot, but they cover these exact pieces – listen while you are commuting or exercising or doing the dishes – you got this!)

3. It’s Not JUST About The Story. When we are processing, it’s not about just telling the story of how things went, it needs to be our story of how what happened impacted us. We need to be able to take time to really look at it, and be willing to be honest with ourselves about the scope and scale of impact.

4. Connection. Anchoring ourselves into a community of people who help us to feel seen, heard, known and valued is imperative. This helps us to contextualize our experiences from a frame of reference that knows we have worth and helps to counteract some of the crummy thinking, perceiving and skewed/biased internal narratives that we tend to carry with us and allow to inform our meaning-making processes. Reach out to your people to help feel connected to being seen, heard, known and valued – and if you don’t have this kind of support, get really intentional about working to build it.

Episode Challenge:

Review any of the suggested episodes that you may have missed to help round out your skills to support great processing. Keep working at implementing consistent resilience, mindfulness and self-caring skills – it’s a gradual process, and it’s ok to play the long game.

Additional Resources:

If you haven’t yet, check out the Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide to help you self-assess your experiences and exposure to burnout. Use this tool as information as you get honest with yourself about the impacts you have experienced – and start considering telling the story of your resilience as someone who has invested in their own wellness by looking into our Beating the Breaking Point Training program designed for First Responders and Front Line Workers. You can grab the free indicators checklist here, and learn more about the training program here.

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What It Means To 'Process' A Pandemic

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 09 Mar 2021 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

COVID-19 has hit the world hard, in ways we were largely unprepared for. But no one was hit quite the way First Responders and Front Line Workers were. Being in the thick of it, with your own fears and risks, showing up because you’ve committed to helping – there’s been no time or space or support to step back and really take stock of all that’s happened. All that’s been asked of you. During this episode I share my concern that if we don’t ensure our front liners are equipped to process what they’ve had placed on them, we risk losing a swath of really incredible helpers to burnout, and that would be such a tremendous loss for our communities and an absolute shame.

The content of this episode was a bit more dense than usual, so I have created an info sheet to summarize the concept of processing that you can access by clicking here. You may want to consider printing this off and using as a reference, particularly if you practice journaling or other practices where you engage in reflection, as you may find this helpful to guide some of those practices. I suggest in the episode that you may find it helpful to listen to this episode a couple of times through to help anchor the concepts.

Episode Challenge:

- Spend some time reflecting on how you are processing the story of the pandemic in your own life. What factors are you listening to? Are there one or more factors you need to pay more attention to? What is the story your psyche is putting together? Are there additional perspectives or context that you need to bring in to help the story fit in a way you can integrate and hold as your own?

- Consider registering for the Beating the Breaking Point course, currently at reduced cost using coupon code BTBP100OFF. Click here for more info, or here to jump to the registration page.

Additional Resources:

- Info sheet created to partner with this episode can be accessed by signing up here.

- Learn more about the Beating the Breaking Point training here. Register here using coupon code BTBP100OFF before the end of the day on March 11, 2021 to access the training for $100 off.

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Connect with me on Facebook and Instagram, or email me at support@thrive-life.ca. I love hearing from you (really – it’s my favourite!)! Subscribe and share this podcast with those you know. I appreciate every like, rating and review – every single one helps this podcast to be seen by other First Responders & Front Line Workers out there. Help me on my mission to help others just like you to not only survive, but to thrive – both on the job and off.

Doing the $h!t and Making It Happen

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 02 Mar 2021 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

This week we are finishing off our 5 week series on self-care, and today’s episode focuses on how we make lasting change and habits to go the distance. During this episode I talk about the Stages of Change Model by Prochaska and DiClamente which includes 6 stages. I have created an infographic that summarizes the stages and you can find it here. The Stages of Change Model is helpful in clarifying that change is not a one-and-done kind of process – it takes time, effort and repetition. We may slip and feel like we’ve gone “backward” sometimes – but know that it’s never really backward, it’s always one step closer than you were before.

We also discuss James Clear’s book, Atomic Habits, as well as a video resource he offers on his website that you can check out here. In his work he talks about four stages of habit formation which include: noticing, wanting, doing and liking. It looks a bit like this:

· Noticing: Get really clear on the habit you want to create or eliminate. This isn’t just noticing there’s an issue, it’s noticing how that issue works in your life and getting really explicitly clear on what you are going to do to change it. For example, it’s not enough to say “I’m going to do more self-care” – it needs to look more like, I am going to go to avoid screens after 10pm, and be in bed by 10:30pm every night after doing 15 minutes of stretching.

· Wanting: Once you’re clear on what you are going to change and the commitments you are willing to make to make it different, you need to set things up to help you get there. James talks specifically about your physical environment being a significant factor in either supporting or derailing our habit formation and he says, “You don’t have to be the victim of your environment, you can also be the architect of it.” This might mean things like setting an alarm to remind you to stop screens at 10pm, having fresh sheets on your bed to invite you to crawl in at 10:30, and a space set up with your yoga mat and some chill music to do some stretching before you hit the sack.

· Doing: I love what James says about this: “shut up and put the reps in.” When it comes to doing, we just have to do. Over and over again. Habits come through repetition, and as we do something more it becomes more and more a part of us and who we perceive ourselves to be.

· Liking: Human nature is such that we are provoked to do things when there is a sense of reward. One of the challenges with many of the “good for us” things is that the reward is less immediate. James suggests creating a reward system to promote engaging in habits that don’t have immediate gratification and offers the idea of marking a calendar with an X for each day you do the new habit. Work to get a string of X’s and then try not to break the chain. Might seem silly, but it works!

Last of all we talk about how the system you belong to will tend to offer mixed messages about self-care. It will likely encourage you to do it, but then slap you upside the head when you do. It’s tricky, and unfortunately it is hard and slow to change the system, so focus on what you have control over and not what you don’t. You can do you. You can control taking a deep breath, scrunching your shoulders up and then releasing them down and away from your ears, you can control your screen time and your sleep on days you’re not working…

At the end of the show I also let you know that for the next week, until March 11th, we are offering the Beating the Breaking Point course to our listeners for $100 off the regular price. If you don’t know much about this course, check it out here. When you’re ready to register, click here and use code BTBP100OFF.

Episode Challenge:

If you’ve enjoyed this series on self-care, you’re going to LOVE Beating the Breaking Point, and I would really encourage you to consider registering before March 11th using the code BTBP100OFF. The 7 part online course can be done at your own pace, and is risk-free with a money back guarantee. Check out the info page for more details by clicking here, or jump to the registration page here to sign up. If you’re not sure whether the course is the right fit for you, I would encourage you to snag our free Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide to help assess where burnout is at for you right now – you can sign up to get it here.

Additional Resources:

Stages of Change pdf infographic

Atomic Habits by James Clear

James Clear’s Website & Video

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Brass Tacks: Making Self-Care Practical

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 23 Feb 2021 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

As we near the end of our 5 week series on self-care, this episode focuses on getting practical and ensuring you are equipped to build a plan that will stand the test of time. Here are the key areas we talk about during this episode:

1. The core of what we are doing here is showing care, make sure you are orienting your plan back to this over and over again.

2. It has to fit. Make your plan flexible and diverse so it can meet the changing needs of your daily life and circumstances. Don’t put all your eggs into one basket – make sure you have ideas that you can use if you are sick or hurt, if you are in an especially hectic time and need to squeeze self-care into less time than usual… Anticipate scenarios and proactively construct contingencies.

3. Keep it repeatable and consistent. Our brains learn through repetition, and your brain loves consistency. While not every action will be a daily part of your routine, engaging in efforts of care often and consistently will be key to helping your brain and body learn to calm, regulate, and experience safety and trust – which are all significant in helping to prevent/reduce the impacts of stress, burnout and even trauma.

4. Your plan needs to transcend location and context. To be sufficient to flex to your changing days, you will need enough diversity in your plan to shift from flying solo at home to being in a group training at work, to cheering on the sidelines of your kids soccer tournament…and everything else you run into.

5. Best when shared. New routines are most likely to succeed when shared with others. It engages a sense of commitment, possibly even accountability, that supports our success. Tell someone about your plans, and share how they might be able to help you be successful.

6. Review regularly. Check in with yourself on a semi-regular basis. How is it going? How have you been feeling? Are there areas of your plan that need improving or could be honed? Check in with those close to you, what have they noticed about the changes you’ve been making? Are there areas they see that could use improvement? Use this to catch stumbling blocks early and pivot your plan to keep out of the weeds. Here is the prompt I suggest in the show: "I’ve been working for the last little while on practicing more self-care to help me manage my stress. I wonder if you have noticed any changes in me, and if you could help me reflect on what is going well and what I could continue working to improve on.”

Your plan will be uniquely your own, and it will change over time. Let it. Allow it to grow with you as you continue to grow and evolve. Be an active participant in your plan, review often and don’t let it get stale. Experiment, let it be fun. And remember, we are working at this to pour into you – because this world needs you, and you do best when you are taken care of.

Episode Challenge:

If you have started drafting a plan, consider applications from today’s episode to ensure it is as practical and useable as possible!

Join the Self-Care Dare 5 Day Challenge for First Responders & Front Line Workers (registration closes March 1, 2021)

Additional Resources:

Self-Care Dare 5 Day Challenge for First Responders & Front Line Workers

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Me, Myself & I: Making Self-Care Personal

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 16 Feb 2021 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

A self-care plan needs to reflect you – your interests, needs and lifestyle. It has to fit like a glove, or you’ll be fighting against it rather than allowing it to work for you. In this episode we are digging in to strategies to help us personalize a plan that will be as unique as you are, and the framework to support adapting that plan as you grow, change and evolve as a person over time, or as your needs or time change due to situations and circumstances. Remember, the point of a comprehensive plan – one with lots of ideas and diversity, keeping in mind the areas we discussed last episode (time, budget, energy & context) – is that it can flex with you and your life as you face new challenges or constraints. During this episode I also share some ideas and examples of self-care to help get your brainstorming juices flowing – but I have also included a couple of links to helpful online resources with lists of ideas if you need a jumping off point.

As you develop your personalized self-care plan…

1. Take an inventory of what you already do. This will likely fall into a few categories, but remember from last episode, almost anything can be classified as self-care if it’s done with a heart (ie. intention) of demonstrating care. Spend a few days keeping track of the actions that you do all the time, and notice which ones fall into the categories below:

a. Activities you already engage in with the intention of self-care (eg. You may already choose a nice smelling shampoo, or spend time listening to your favourite music in the car).

b. Activities you do often and could have a heart of care incorporated into them relatively easily (eg. Taking a shower everyday but normally rushing through it from a functional focus – shifting this to being a bit slower and enjoying noticing the warm water, the sound of the water falling, the smell of your soap, etc.; Your daily commute normally being to whatever is on the radio – shifting this to finding and loading some great music you love, or nature sounds, or interesting or funny podcasts/audiobooks onto something that can come with you)

c. Activities that you do often that you can create some passive self-care to go along with you (eg. Turning an essential oil diffuser on in your environment while you attend to other things; turning on your favourite music/podcast/audiobook while you do dishes or fold laundry)

2. Cover your basic needs. These are the things that need to happen, whether or not they feel nice, in an effort to ensure your health and wellbeing. These include doctors check-ups, dentist visits, hygiene, visits with specialists (physio, massage, doctors, therapist, etc.), as well as ensuring that you are eating nutritious foods that give your body it’s best chance, drinking enough water and getting enough sleep. Think of the things you would do for a kid in your care – eat your vegetables, limit your screen time (I know, that’s a tough one!), get the things done that need to be done.

3. Look for things you like. Once you know what you are already doing well or could adapt to be more caring, and you cover your basic needs, move on to the fun stuff. This requires knowing, or being willing to learn about, what you like. For some this may be a bit uncomfortable, as many of us disconnect from our own likes and interests in an effort to do for others. Be willing to experiment and try some things on. Need some ideas…

a. Go back in time. Think about what you used to like when you were a kid. Were you a daredevil? An artist? A bookworm? When you think back to the time in your life when you were the least inhibited and most capable of connecting to joy and hilarity, what did you gravitate towards? Use these as a jumping off point and try to connect them to actions your adult self can engage in.

b. Look around. Take notice of what other people seem to do and enjoy. Use this as a tool to start your experimentation and try things out you might never have thought to try before – then see what fits for you and what doesn’t.

c. Know thyself. Think about what you know of yourself – your personality, characteristics and traits. Beyond your interests, what are the core aspects of you that need spaces to shine? Are you more introverted or extraverted? Do you tend towards action? Competition? Connection? Quiet contemplation? Look for ways to allow these parts of you to shine.

d. Focus on your 5 senses. Your senses are used both for survival and for pleasure. Because of the work you do, they are likely used to being used for survival functions and are associated with stress responses, so we need to work at offering a counter-balance where they connect to good, calm, fun, and other non-stress-related experiences. Seek out smells that make you feel calm, incite a deep breath, or provoke positive memories; seek sounds that help you feel grounded or nostalgic to good parts of your past; seek out flavours that help you connect to the present moment like a cup of coffee, a piece of chocolate, or a mint; seek visual cues that anchor you like your favourite colour, or photos from positive experiences; seek textures that help to feel calm or cared for, like warm fuzzy socks, cozy slippers, a comfy blanket, silky jammies, etc.

Listen to your body and enact the parts of your plan that meet your needs moment-to-moment. Going to the gym may be part of your self-care plan, but if you’re feeling sick or hurt, you need to have something else to do instead that meets your need without doing more damage than good. Make sure to take time to notice how you’re doing throughout the day and use your self-care plan as a reference to spark ideas for what you can offer yourself to help add to your emotional bank account. Remember, we are caring for ourselves because investing in ourselves is great and it allows us to give to others more effectively.

In the Self-Care Dare 5 Day Challenge for First Responders & Front Line Workers we will be working at putting all of these pieces together into a concrete plan that you will start putting into practice beginning day one. I hope you’ll join me!

Episode Challenge:

Start working at personalizing your plan. I encourage you to make notes and write down your ideas and thoughts about how and when different ideas would be implemented.

Join the Self-Care Dare 5 Day Challenge for First Responders & Front Line Workers – it’s going to be fun!!! …And what a great gesture of your investment in you, for only $5.00!?

Additional Resources:

The Self-Care Dare 5 Day Challenge for First Responders & Front Line Workers

Self-Care Ideas List

Products I Love:

Car Diffuser

Architecture 101: Making Self-Care Strategic

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 09 Feb 2021 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

In this episode we are talking about the strategy involved in creating a useful, meaningful and sustainable self-care plan. For plans to be useful they have to actually be grounded in reality and practicality – without that they’ll just sit on the backburner, never being implemented. Our goal is to understand the ways to diversify our self-care plan to ensure we have a plan for every circumstance. During this episode we talk about 4 key areas to keep in mind as you consider crafting a self-care plan:

1. Keep time in mind: self-care actions need to be diverse in terms of the time they take. Some need to fit into 5 minutes or less, others within 30 minutes, and others may be longer. Accessibility is key to making self-care consistent and useful, and you should have more things that take less time included in your plan, as time is often hard to come by.

2. Keep expense in mind: just like self-care needs to be diverse based on time, it also needs to be diverse based on expense. You cannot go for a 2 hour massage everyday…well, maybe some people can but most of us can’t. So plan actions that cost nothing, are cheap and then range from there. Again, there should be far more activities on the free or cheap end of the spectrum than the expensive end.

3. Keep energy in mind: diversify your activity planning based on the energy it takes. You may have days where you are up for a hike, and others where brushing your teeth feels like Everest. Ensure you have a range of ideas that you can use when you are low energy or sick, as well as when you are moderate and higher energy.

4. Keep context in mind: consider activities you can do wherever you are and whoever you’re with. While it might be ideal to engage in self-care when you have a night to yourself at home, this will not always be an option. Come up with creative ideas for showing a heart of care whether you’re at home or getting groceries; whether you are on your own or with one or more people.

We also cover some reminders:

· Self-care won’t always feel good. Self-care includes nice things that feel good, but it also includes regularly scheduling dentist visits and caring for your basic wellness.

· Self-care involves setting boundaries and saying “no” sometimes – with ourselves and with others.

· Self-care involves experimentation and self-reflection to notice what you like, what you don’t and how to continually adapt as your preferences and needs evolve.

Episode Challenge:

To begin, start by meeting basic needs – hydrate, eat nutritious foods, engage in hygiene activities, prioritize sleep habits, limit substances, limit screens, prioritize base health needs including doctor/dentist appointments. If you are already doing all of these things – bravo! I would encourage you to reflect a bit on whether you are doing them with a heart of care for you or out of a place of routine or obligation and consider if there are ways to could shift your mindset about them a bit to lean heavier into the caring for self heart.

And, register for the 5 day challenge here!

Additional Resources:

The Self-Care Dare 5 Day Challenge for First Responders & Front Line Workers

https://theblissfulmind.com/self-care-strategies/

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Mythbusting: What Self-Care ISN'T...

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 02 Feb 2021 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

Today’s episode kicks off a 5 week series on self-care. I know, everyone and their dog talk about self-care but what is it really all about – can it be more than bubble baths and spa days? Join me as we focus today’s episode on dispelling the myths about self-care and focus on the science around how this tool works as a foundational element of a strategic action plan for wellness to create sustainability, both on the job and off.

In this episode, we cover 4 common myths and work at debunking them, including:

1. Self-Care is Selfish: Nope! Selfish means to excessively or exclusively focus on self at the expense of others; but self-care is all about supporting and replenishing self in an effort to give more and better to others. It is actually the best gift we can give!

2. Self-Care is a fluffy/girly/dumb waste of time: Nope! Self-care is for everyone and there are a million and one ways to do it that have nothing to do with bubble baths, painting nails or facials (…although those can be nice for some!). Future episodes will dig into brainstorming self-care options for everyone, so come back for the next few episodes!!

3. Self-Care is just random feel-good stuff: Well…yes, but also nope. Yes, self-care is a bunch of activities that can feel good, but that’s not what it’s really about. At the core, it is about showing ourselves demonstrable gestures of care, because these help our brain and body strengthen skills to regulate stress, soothe complex emotions, and feel more deeply connected to others and rooted into our lives. Self-care actions yield improved health and wellness on multiple measures – so don’t get caught believing it’s just fluff, this stuff really makes a difference!

4. Self-Care is complicated/time consuming/expensive/etc.: I mean, it can be, but it doesn’t have to be. Self-Care can look like a lot of things, and we will cover this in more depth in future episodes in this series to prove that self-care can be simple, straightforward, cheap and fit into your schedule.

Episode Challenge:

- Consider your preconceived notions about self-care. What myths were you buying into and how can you work at challenging them now that you know a bit better?

- What kinds of self-care are you already doing? Remember, lots of things can count, but they should include a heart of care to really have meaning!

- Check out The Self-Care Dare 5 Day Challenge for First Responders & Front Line Workers and consider joining – the challenge starts March 2nd!! Register here.

Additional Resources:

The Self-Care Dare 5 Day Challenge for First Responders & Front Line Workers

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Boots on the Ground Mindfulness - An Interview with a Member of the RCMP

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 26 Jan 2021 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:
Thanks again to Ryan for sharing his experience as a member of the RCMP who is integrating mindfulness skills and willing to talk about what this looks like. I so value those who are willing to speak up and speak out to help change the culture in front line workplaces. I hope you enjoy listening in to this conversation and encourage you to take note of the ways that Ryan shares how he works at anchoring into what he values as a way to be mindful and maintain sanity (listen to Episode 4 for more on what this looks like), as well as attunement to the environment skills to regulate and be more present (listen to Episode 8 where we talk about this type of skill). For more ideas on ways to integrate mindfulness into your daily life, both on the job and off, check our Episodes 7 & 8 where we talk about how to incorporate mindfulness.

I mentioned at the end of this episode that I would LOVE to hear how you are working at applying mindfulness after listening to these episodes - you will find my contact info below and I genuinely mean it, reach out and let me know what you're doing and how it's going.

Episode Challenge:
Make a list of things you value and use this to start trying out the anchoring skill discussed in this episode. Try using this to prompt you to think about why you do what you do and why it all matters on a semi-regular basis during your week. Remember, it only takes a couple minutes and doesn't require anything fancy.

Additional Resources:
Check out Episodes 2, 7 & 8 if you haven't already!!

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Connect with me on Facebook and Instagram, or email me at support@thrive-life.ca. I love hearing from you! Subscribe and share this podcast with those you know. I appreciate every like, rating and review – every single one helps this podcast to be seen by other First Responders & Front Line Workers out there. Help me on my mission to help others just like you to not only survive, but to thrive – both on the job and off.

Mindfulness Arsenal for a Tactical Advantage

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 19 Jan 2021 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

In last week’s episode (Episode 7 if you want to hunt it down), we made the case for why mindfulness matters and how it helps to strengthen the parts of your brain that help to counterbalance your stress centre and the overwhelming amounts of persistent stress you face as a result of your work. This week, we focus on practical mindfulness tools and ways to incorporate these into your daily life as a consistent practice. Consider these skills a workout for your brain – little bits often add up to mean more than you might think.

Breathing Skills
· Square Breathing: Inhale for a count of four, hold for a count of four, exhale for a count of four, hold for a count of four. Remember, the goal is not to breathe this way all the time, the goal is to help your brain focus on a single, present task: your breathing. Try doing this type of breath for a couple of rounds, then breathe normally for a minute or two, then try to do a couple more rounds.

· Mantra Breath: Choose a word or phrase to focus on as you inhale and exhale, include imagery in your mind if you find this helpful. In this episode I suggest “inhale relaxation” and “exhale tension” as one of my favorite.

Meditation Skills
· Mantra Meditation: Choose a word or phrase to focus on – ideally something in alignment with what you would like to be thinking or feeling, such as “still”, or “peace”. Find a comfortable place to sit or lay down, preferably somewhere with minimal distractions if possible. Close your eyes if you like, or find a neutral place to look. Set a timer for whatever amount of time you prefer (I usually choose about 5-7 minutes), and reflect on your mantra. When other thoughts pop into your head just notice them, and gently guide your mind back to your mantra.

· Imagery Meditation: Choose an image to focus on – I describe a scene with a small stream in this episode. Find a comfortable place to sit or lay down, preferably somewhere with minimal distractions if possible. Close your eyes if you like, or find a neutral place to look. Set a timer for whatever amount of time you prefer (I usually choose about 5-7 minutes), and reflect on your image. Try to become very aware of sights, smells, textures, temperatures, etc. of the place you have chosen – immerse yourself in it. When other thoughts pop into your head, just notice them. You can even incorporate this into your image, like my example of the thoughts being leaves that fall on the stream and watching the water carry them gently down stream and away from me. Work to gently guide your mind back to your image.

**Caution: Those with complex trauma histories, particularly early developmental traumatic experiences, may have difficulty meditating or engaging in mindfulness practices as your nervous system has been trained that things that are meant to be safe are more often dangerous, and can lead your body to become reactive to “safe” things or feelings. You may need to tread more carefully using these skills, and may need to build in additional protections. I encourage you to search for trauma-informed mindfulness or meditation practices to get specific tools that may better support you as you work to engage and strengthen the part of your brain that helps to support and counterbalance your stress and trauma centre.

Mindful Movement Skills
· Structured Movement: Yoga, Tai Chi and other movement-based practices that incorporate mindfulness and breath. See below for a recommendation of my favorite yoga app that changed me from a yoga hater to a yoga lover!

· Movement + Mantra: Choose a word or phrase and try to focus on this as you engage in some kind of movement activity like a walk, bike ride, or dance party in your living room. When other thoughts pop in, just notice them and guide your mind gently back to your mantra.

· Movement + Breath: As you engage in any movement activity – a walk, bike ride, hike, dance party… - notice your breath and try to focus on connecting your breath to your movement. For example, while walking, try breathing in for 3 steps, hold for one step, breathe out for 3 steps and hold for one step.

· Movement + Attunement: As you engage in any movement activity, work to focus on noticing the things around you. Use your 5 senses and really take notice of sights, sounds, smells, tastes, and textures/touch sensations. When thoughts pop in, just notice them and guide your mind back to noticing things around you.

Everyday Attunement Skills
· Attending & Describing: Use your 5 senses to notice things around you in everyday moments. You can do this anytime, anywhere. Notice the colours of things, different textures, etc. Or describe an everyday activity in detail to yourself as you do it – really notice what you’re doing and attend to your actions and environment.

Episode Challenge:
Choose one or two of the skills described in this episode and find ways to implement them in your daily life at least once a day. Try to find at least one skill you can use while you are at work. Focus on making it consistent – use timers or reminders to help prompt you until these skills feel habitual. Adapt any of the skills described to help it fit for you.

Additional Resources:
If you want to go deeper into utilizing mindfulness skills, I’ve included a couple of resources you may find helpful including links to two meditation/mindfulness apps that I have heard great things about, and my favorite yoga program (it made me a yoga-lover after years of HATING yoga!!). You can also easily google things like “guided imagery”, “quick meditation”, or “meditation scripts” to help guide your development in some of these areas.

Check out the Calm App here.

Check out the Balance App here.

Check out the Down Dog yoga program here.

Working Out Your Mindfulness Muscles

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 12 Jan 2021 06:55:00 -0800

Show Notes:

Today’s episode digs into the myths and truths about mindfulness in an effort to make the case for implementing mindfulness skills as a part of our strategic wellness action plan. An episode like this is necessary because I see SO many front line workers roll their eyes when we talk about mindfulness and related skills, like they can’t imagine this kind of “new-age BS hippy-dippy junk” (actual words I’ve heard from clients and those I know) can be useful to them. But the science doesn’t lie, and it behooves us to take a closer look at how some simple and seemingly small tools can make a big difference in strengthening areas of our brain that help to counterbalance the impacts of ongoing, persistent stress and trauma.

First Response & Front Line Work invite us to over-train the parts of our brains that are responsible for risk management and survival – making this the part of the brain that feels most able to respond even when it’s not appropriate. When we over-train this part of our brain and fail to train the parts intended to counterbalance and regulate the stress response areas, we end up having stress responses to everything all the time…which is exhausting and our brains are not meant to live in full-time, which then leads to numbing and dissociating. It’s a catch 22. We have to work at integrating skills that work to strengthen parts of our brain that help to carry the load and give our stress system a break now and then by being capable of picking up some of the heavy lifting. Mindfulness skills, when developed as a practice, can be a big part of how we strengthen these other systems to help ourselves have a more diverse and more human experience. At it’s core, mindfulness is a group of skills or practices that support our brain and body in being connected to the present moment, in space and time.

In the next episode, we are going to talk about specific mindfulness tools that you can start to incorporate into your daily/weekly routine. But in the meantime, I offer a few categories of mindfulness skills in this episode including:

1. Meditation: No religious/spiritual associations required. Meditation is intended to be a dedicated time of quiet contemplation of the present. This can look like a lot of things and doesn’t have to last for long. If you’re new to meditation, I would encourage you to look up “guided meditation” and find some audios that walk you through the process.

2. Movement Based Mindfulness: Obvious options like yoga or tai chi integrate mindfulness into the movement by encouraging being aware of how poses/movements feel and your breath while you engage in the movements. Meanwhile, other options like going for a walk and gently working at bringing your mind back to noticing what you are seeing/hearing/smelling, etc. as you walk can be a version of movement-based mindfulness as well. Moving our bodies has a ton of benefit to work stress out of our systems and restore homeostasis (ie. stabilize), and incorporating mindfulness into movement of any kind can help quiet the stress centre and enhance the parts of our brain that work to counterbalance our stress centre.

3. Cognitive Directing Skills: These skills focus on how we attend our thoughts. Directing our thinking to really attend to what is around us and what we are doing in present space and time can help us strengthen connections to the parts of our brain that help counterbalance the stress centre. Describing everyday tasks, surroundings, etc. in detail can be a great, small way to start.

Start small, add some pieces in a little bit at a time, and experiment to see what fits for you. Mindfulness is not a magic bullet, but when done consistently it adds up to be significant and meaningful. The sooner you start the sooner you’ll see your brain strengthening and growing connections that benefit you. Try using prompts like post-it notes or reminders on your phone to help you get into a routine.

During the episode I mentioned a couple of links I would put in the show notes, including the article from UC Berkley which can be found here, and a link to my favorite yoga app which can be found here.

Episode Challenge:

Try to notice any reactions or preconceived notions that might be barriers to adding mindfulness skills to your arsenal.

Find a couple of guided meditation practices that you can add into your weekly routine, they don’t have to be long, but aim for a few days out of your week. Then gradually add additional skills.

Listen in next week when we’ll talk about some of my favourite mindfulness skills and ways you can use these to inspire your own scrappy and creative interpretations that fit you and your life the best.

Additional Resources:

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A New Hope (...paradoxically episode four??)

Lindsay Faas — Tue, 05 Jan 2021 06:59:00 -0800

Show Notes:

In today’s show we are talking about the importance of hope in surviving life on the front lines, and how to go about engaging with hope intentionally and strategically. Too often we take hope for granted or we undervalue it. But without hope, we don’t stand a chance in this line of work. And because of the work you do and what you interact with, hope tends to be quickly eroded – often without realizing it – and we’re left with being swallowed up by the suffering witnessed day to day. Hope doesn’t just happen, we have to pay attention, and today we are going to talk about specific, tangible ways to do just that.

Your brain naturally values negative experiences as a survival mechanism to ensure your welfare – but unfortunately this can cut hope out of the picture if we’re not careful. The average Joe-citizen doesn’t have to worry about being quite as intentional as their daily lives don’t tend to bombard them with hardship, life-and-death stress, and deep human suffering. But for those on the front lines, the part of the brain that manages the shit works on overdrive while the part of the brain that manages hope is left to wither away, neglected. We have to be intentional to exercise the part of our brain that does hope so we can give it a chance to do some of the heavy lifting when we need it.

In this episode I talk about 6 tangible ways to engage in strengthening the hope part of your brain. To summarize this information and offer some helpful prompts to guide you are you start implementing these tools into your daily and weekly life, I created a worksheet that you can snag by signing up here.

As a quick review, these include…

1. A helper’s heart

2. Scan for good

3. Context is key

4. Gratitude is hope’s cousin

5. Active rest to restore

6. Complain constructively

Clear as mud? Snag the worksheet to have a solid reminder and some prompts for success. Happy exercising!! …Just what everyone expected to kick off the New Year, right!?

Episode Challenge:

Download the worksheet that pairs with this episode by signing up here, and try to integrate at least 2 of these tools into your week this week. I would love to hear how it goes – tag me on social media to your pictures out hiking or a snippet from your gratitude journal!!

Additional Resources:

The Gottman's work was mentioned in this episode, and their work has excellent applications for couples seeking to strengthen relationship. Here are a couple of my favorite books from their work and links to snag them on Amazon:

The Gottman's "7 Principles for Making Marriage Work"
The Gottman's "The Relationship Cure"

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2020: The Good, The Bad & The Ugly (A Front Liners Year In Review)

Lindsay Faas — Mon, 28 Dec 2020 22:00:00 -0800

Show Notes:

This year has been a lot of things, and it has called us to be flexible, adaptable and responsive in a myriad of ways.

Thanks to my roles as a trauma therapist and the director of the largest counselling clinic in my area, as well as being a mom of school-aged kids, spouse to a stay at home parent stuck with kids all day, friend and family member, I have had so many vantage points to observe some of the challenges that COVID has brought to light for us.

Remember, we increase our power in situations when we can accurately identify what we’re working with and the challenges we’re facing. We can only help something when we know about it. We have to give voice to the challenges to have any chance of engaging them. There is value in talking about the good the bad and the ugly of what this year has called us into and drawn out of us.

· 2020 has been a year of anxiety.

Shattered assumptions refers to our general assumptions as humans that our lives are generally predictable. We’ve all experienced shattered assumptions this year. When we experience shattered assumptions, it is a moment of reckoning. A moment of realizing that the world and life is not as predictable as human nature would like to try and pretend that it is. And when we realize our vulnerability, the degree that we lack control and predictability in our everyday lives, we feel it in our bodies, often as anxiety.

· 2020 has been a year of fear.

Fear is about a real and present danger. For First Responders and Front Line Workers the fear has been real and a combination of the obvious interactions in the work you do, but also the “average Joe” experiences of having to be mindful of the grocery store trips, or dentist visits, or what your kids bring home from school. The fear centre of our brains is that it is not meant to operate for any length of time. The challenge with what we have faced in 2020 is that the fear feels constant, and yet the markers of safety are also confusingly all around us – our bodies don’t know what to do with it. I’m in my home, I’m safe and warm and fine…yet I might also feel fearful that I’ve just brought home the plague from shift today…your brain doesn’t know how to hold these at the same time and it leaves us in this awkward dissonance that is hard to make sense of and impossible to settle into.

· 2020 has been a year of grief.

In addition to the grief witnessed and felt at work, there is also likely grief that is personal and on varying levels. Grief is connected to loss, and for many there have been a number of losses this year. As a culture, we’re not well versed in how to hold grief and move through it. It is uncomfortable so we try to divert from it or avoid it. The challenge with grief is it’s a bit like driving and skidding on ice – you have to steer into it to correct. Much like the skid, if you try to fight it, by avoiding or distracting, it will often make it so much worse. But in the pace of this year, working overtime shifts, short-staffed and exhausted, there has been little time to process grief well even if we knew how to steer into it.

· 2020 has been a year of loneliness.

Social distancing has been a significant weapon in the battle against COVID-19, but we are also seeing the toll on mental health and wellness at all levels. We are lonely and overwhelmed and trying to distract and numb in whatever ways we know how.

2020 has also been…

· 2020 has been a year of being pushed to our limits.

This year we have been called to adapt. You have shown up, day after day. You have witnessed so many hard moments. You have managed through the fear and anxiety and grief and loneliness and you are somehow still putting one foot in front of the other. You have probably even found some moments of normal, maybe even enjoyment, in the midst of it.

· 2020 has been a year of challenging our thinking.

This year has called us to step outside of the monotony and the status quo of our thinking. Assumptions were shattered, our vulnerability had the spotlight turned onto it full blast, and we have had to sit with that and wrestle with it a bit.

· 2020 has been a year of gratitude.

As humans, we have a tendency neurobiologically to place a high value on negative experiences. Biologically this makes sense as negative experiences are ones the brain perceives as being relevant to shape future behaviour. Psychologists and Beuro-Scientists talk of a ratio of positive experiences or interactions to negative ones – usually a 5:1 ratio. We need more positive experiences or interactions to outweigh a single negative one because our brains don’t naturally allocate as much space for them. Gratitude is a part of this, and one we have need to rely more heavily on to get through this year.

Episode Challenge:

Three things to focus our intentions on going in to 2021:

1. Take time. Time to breathe, time to feel, time to grieve, time to reflect, time to be grateful. All of the things that allow us to shape the direction we want to go begins with us taking the time to shape it.

2. Get Grateful. Because you see and participate in so many negative moments and aspects of experience in your work, you have to be even more intentional about exposing your brain to positive experiences, interactions and thoughts to hit the ratio to counterbalance the intensity of your daily life. Take time every day, multiple times a day if you can, to pause and look carefully for moments that were good, enjoyable, calm, connected, silly, funny, interesting, hopeful… Notice these moments, scan for them throughout your day, catch them when they happen, and let them occupy space for more than the fleeting moments when they happened. If you are going to pour energy into any thing in your life for the coming year, this is the place to pour in.

3. Anchor. Last week’s episode we talked about anchoring in. Anchoring is about what we connect to, what we use to ground ourselves into a sense of safety, stability, connectedness, meaning and mattering. Notice what you tend to anchor into. Where do you derive a sense of meaning? What makes you feel like you matter? What helps you to feel calm, safe or stable? If a lot of your answers revolve around your work, I’m going to suggest that you work at investing in some other areas of your life to help offer some balance and additional support.

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Sailor Slang, Investment Banking and Front Line Wellness

Lindsay Faas — Mon, 21 Dec 2020 22:00:00 -0800

Show Notes:

Anchoring is a process of connecting with intention to the people, things and experiences that matter to us. Anchoring helps us to feel a sense of stability and security even when things get bumpy. It helps us to feel connected to what feels meaningful and mattering about us and about our lives.

Much like a ship attempting to anchor into varying types of underwater surfaces, we can try to anchor to different aspects of our lives. Being intentional about knowing and choosing those aspects that create the greatest sense of connection to meaning, helps us to get the best results.

Anchoring into First Response and Front Line Work as an exclusive or highly valued sense of meaning can be risky. While the work can be incredibly meaningful, it is also extremely complex.

Learning to engage in anchoring effectively and intentionally is a layer on creating a strategic action plan.

We need to focus on two key things when anchoring to meaning as it relates to the work:

1. Anchor into the work WELL. Anchoring into the work can be risky, but can be done well if done with intention. This means taking deliberate time intended to focus on the aspects of the work that feel affirming, connected and meaningful. This time is valuable to help us prevent burnout, but also to have time where we are checking in and assessing how we’re doing – how hard is it to come up with what feels meaningful and mattering? This might help us to notice when we’re headed down a slippery slope and work more effectively to intervene.

Suggested Exercise: End of work day 15-10 minute breathing activity. Take deep breaths, stretch your muscles and shake out tension while thinking about the parts of your day that felt meaningful, connected, affirming, mattering, etc. Do this before heading for home.

2. Anchor in, outside of work: Work cannot be the exclusive aspect of meaning. Putting all of our eggs into this one basket is dangerous. We need to follow the advising of investment banking and diversify our portfolio. Invest in activities, relationships and interests that develop aspects of meaning outside of your work. Be intentional about seeking out hobbies, continually developing interests, explore areas of curiosity, connect meaningfully in relationships, kickstart a side-hustle, pour into volunteerism, or dive into social justice initiatives. You are more than the work you do – allow other skills sets to shine, and find meaning in flourishing as a whole and multi-faceted person.

Episode Challenge:

· Think about your own family transitions (holidays, significant life events, and/or daily living). What do these say about what you? What do they say about what you value? Are there ways to reconnect with the meaning in these, or to develop new traditions/routines that would help hone your developing sense of anchoring into meaning?

· Make a plan to anchor into your work well, and to anchor outside of your work. What would this look like? What traditions would you want to try to implement? What kind of time would you create and what would it include?

· Try out the end-of-the-work-day-pause that was mentioned in this episode.

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Front Line Families - Balancing the Cost & The Protection of Connection

Lindsay Faas — Mon, 14 Dec 2020 22:00:00 -0800

Show Notes:

Thank you to Meredith for joining me today to talk about her experiences as a front line family member from multiple vantage points. Meredith was raised by two front line parents, her mom as a nurse and her dad as a paramedic. She became a nurse herself and has been working on the front lines for 13 years. She married a member of the Canadian Armed Forces and they are raising their three young kids and working to balance life on the front lines. I am so thankful for Meredith’s vulnerability and openness. Meredith shared her insight and wisdom – here are a few of my favourite quotes that came out of our conversation:

- “That’s kind of the approach that they’ve taught me to take in life. Is just like, where’s your next clue? Where’s your next clue? …That’s been helpful, you know, to deal with emergencies, and trauma, and life, and the hardships…” (5:45)

- “It’s very interesting to reflect back on what you remember in your childhood versus how you piece it together now in adulthood.” (10:38)

- “And like all great parents, you kind of shelter from the hard. And so, you want to protect and keep, you know, those barbed wires from the fence away from the little hearts that you’re entrusted with.” (11:40)

- “Again, like not perfect, at all…like throwing stones at a glass house, I get it! But that’s kind of where I’ve tried to focus and where I’ve found some relief and some coping strategies in the angst and the hardship of first responding and some of the things that you see and experience.” (15:50)

- “Trying to find those places to sink yourself into and feel whole are just transient and, you know, that 2020 lens is just such a big mirror of how strong and brave we all are in hard times but also exposes the cracks and shows, you know, where we all live just under the surface and how hard life is.” (16:30)

- “One of my favourite pieces about us and about the idea of us (and it could happen with any couple, it doesn’t just need to be first responder couples), but the grace that we offer each other in regards to the hard days and the stressful things that we experience. Everyone has a different way to communicate, which is no secret, and him and I utilise just a really simple traffic light emoji, and we kind of check in with each other daily to see where we’re at in the traffic light…and that just allows you without words to position yourself and be the least amount of vulnerable but still vulnerable to say ‘this is a hard day’ or ‘things are going great’ and not miss each other in the wind. Because there’s nothing worse than one person having the worst day as a first responder coming home to someone who’s had the best day, and you come in and just like vomit your whole life on them and they come in and are like so cheerful and not ready to receive that information.” (20:30)

- “I am totally vulnerable in the fact that if I’m a puddle on the floor my kids will see it, they will learn from that and know that you can be weak and brave all at the same time.” (31:00)

- “You know, it’s hard in relationships to speak words out loud and feel like you’re being very, very clear and very, very explicit and still not have the resolution of being heard. It’s just so defeating. And so, the 5 love languages, have been like a prescription and a necessity for us to be able to not miss each other in regards to our needs.” (35:30)

- “Some of the specific instances in our routine I’ve intentionally carved out to be the instigator, and I’ve intentionally carved out Matt to be the instigator. Because there are a lot of times where I am the bystander, just like hearing the mayhem but not necessarily involved. And that might actually be the bigger impact that, you know, my work and my life and how I interact with people is having on my kids is the fact that, you know, it’s hard to set boundaries when your work comes home with you.” (39:30)

- “And you don’t necessarily notice when it bleeds onto other people in your life. You kind of just selflessly feel that you can take this on and you have capacity, without acknowledging that maybe other peoples capacity is tied to yours, or tethered may be a better word, and how your decision making in regards to boundaries and interactions can affect kind of your safe space at home when it’s all blurred.” (40:30)

Resources Discussed In This Episode:

The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman (discussed in the episode, offers clear language and easily applicable tools to connect as a couple, also generalizable to other people you care for or interact with in your life).

The Five Love Languages For Children by Gary Chapman (this was not discussed in the show but is an awesome resource for parents to support connecting with their kids).

We discussed the concept of being a Bystander, Witness, Participant or Instigator in different moments in our lives with the people we care about. To help support connecting and finding protection in connection, I put together a Being "With" Cheat Sheet that includes prompts with ideas to kick-start some of these postures or ways of being with others. You can sign up to snag the infographic cheat sheet tool here.

Episode Challenge:

If you're looking to up the ante and challenge yourself to build your wellness, get intentional about catching yourself in bystander moments and notice when they happen and what's going on for you when these moments happen. What kind of day has it been? What are the pressures that have added up? What have you done/are you doing to actively manage and cope with those pressures? Then, try to engage more into witness, participant and instigator whenever you can. Get creative and have some fun. Say yes to things. It might feel uncomfortable, but keep trying it - it gets easier!! If you really want to push to the edges, post a picture of you conquering this challenge with your loved ones and tag me on Facebook or Instagram - I would love to see you joining our family's ninja-fight hilarity!!

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Cars, Potholes and Strategic Action Plans for Wellness

Lindsay Faas — Mon, 07 Dec 2020 22:00:00 -0800

Show Notes:

In an effort to get proactive, we are talking about what it looks like to develop a strategic wellness action plan.

A strategic action plan for wellness is crafted, personal and intentional. It works to respond to your unique needs, interests and situation. It is created to support your resilience.

In this episode we define resilience as: "an ability to recover from or adjust to misfortune, stress or change in a way that accepts the truth of the suffering, acknowledges the depth of impact the suffering has, and seeks to make the suffering and its impacts a meaningful part of our self-narrative."

I have broken down this definition into the parts described in the podcast, and you can grab the infographic summary here.

Take the next step in creating your strategic wellness plan. Click here to sign up and access the tool mentioned in this episode, the Beating the Breaking Point Indicators Checklist & Triage Guide

I would love to hear from you! Send your feedback, and your ideas for topics you would like to hear covered to support@thrive-life.ca

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram where I post additional resources, share about new episodes and keep connected with my front line friends.

Subscribe to and share this podcast with those you know. I appreciate every like, rating and review – every single one helps this podcast to be seen by other First Responders & Front Line Workers out there.

Thank you for helping me on my mission to help others just like you to not only survive, but to thrive – both on the job and off. Together, we can change the culture of front line work from the inside, out.

Reclaiming Control and Getting Proactive on the Front Lines

Lindsay Faas — Wed, 11 Nov 2020 12:53:40 -0800

Show Notes:

First Responders & Front Line Workers face unique challenges including persistent stress and systems that tend to focus on reactive supports rather than proactive ones.
Reactive support can be helpful, but fails to account for the compound effects of life on the front lines.
Proactive support focuses on prevention and early intervention tools to and helps to keep our metaphorical "mess" under control.
Critical incidents do not exist in a vacuum. Critical incidents are a hard part of the work you do, but they are not the defining features of what is difficult in your work - it is way more complicated than that, and the wellness supports you implement need to meet that degree of complexity.
Reaction is never as strong as prevention - so focus your efforts and energy on prevention. Remember the adage, "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure."
Prevention and being proactive involves a strategic action plan that is personal to you, where you're at, and your context.

I would love to hear from you! Send your feedback, and your ideas for topics you would like to hear covered to support@thrive-life.ca

Follow me on Facebook and Instagram where I post additional resources, share about new episodes and keep connected with my front line friends.

Behind The Line

Flipping Love Languages Upside Down: Caring & Processing

Flipping Love Languages Upside Down: A New Take on a Classic

"That's What You Signed Up For": Seeking More Supportive Support

"That's What You Signed Up For": An Angry Tirade by Lindsay

Above & Beyond with Patrick Greenhill, Law Enforcement

Above & Beyond with Michael Sugrue, retired Law Enforcement

Above & Beyond with Nathan Kapler, Retired RCMP

Wholehearted Helping: Retaining Humanity in Hard Jobs with Dr. Hillary McBride

Wholehearted Helping: Retaining Humanity in Hard Jobs with Jake Khym

Blast From The Past: Daring Leadership Part 8

Blast From The Past: Daring Leadership Part 7

Blast From The Past: Daring Leadership Part 6

Blast From The Past: Daring Leadership Part 5

Blast From The Past: Daring Leadership Part 4

Blast From The Past: Daring Leadership Part 3

Blast From The Past: Daring Leadership Part 2

Blast From The Past: Daring Leadership Part 1

Family of Front Line Heroes: Jackie & Kathy

Family of Front Line Heroes: Heels & Holster, Kristen

Family of Front Line Heroes: Proud Police Wife, Rebecca Lynn

In The Thick of It: Small Steps for Quick Wins Part 4

In The Thick of It: Small Steps for Quick Wins Part 3

In the Thick of It: Small Steps for Quick Wins Part 2

In the Thick of It: Small Steps for Quick Wins Part 1

Normal People Problems: Crisis Response Clutter Management with Simply Organized for You

Normal People Problems: First Response Finances with Sandy & Albert

Normal People Problems: Front Line Parenting with Karen

Normal People Problems: Shift Work Nutrition with Raina

What To Do When You've "Done" The Work: Reconnecting to the World

What To Do When You've "Done" The Work: Retain Resilience

What To Do When You've "Done" The Work: Assess & Adjust

What To Do When You've "Done" The Work: How To Know (Part Two)

What To Do When You've "Done" The Work: How To Know (Part One)

Quiet in the Chaos: Connection Inward & With Others

Quiet in the Chaos: Reflect, Refine, Recharge

Quiet in the Chaos: Values & What Matters Most

Quiet in the Chaos: Expectations & Simplifying

Impacts of Trauma: When the Body Says "No"

Impacts of Trauma: Numbing

Impacts of Trauma: Nightmares & Flashbacks

Impacts of Trauma: Dissociation

Impacts of Trauma: Hypervigilance

Support & Anchoring (Reclaiming Self Series)

Learning & Adjusting (Reclaiming Self Series)

Experimentation & Self-Discovering (Reclaiming Self Series)

Alignment (Reclaiming Self Series)

Alternative Approaches to Healing: Neurotherapy

Alternative Approaches to Healing: OEI & EMDR

Alternative Approaches to Healing: Psychedelic Assisted Psychotherapy

When Talking Doesn't Work (Alternative Approaches to Helping Series)

How Have We Made It Here?!?

Voices from the Front Lines with SFPD Deputy Chief (ret.), Jim

Voices from the Front Lines with Paramedic, Jeff

Voices from the Front Lines with International Nurse, Shannon

Voices from the Front Lines with Fire Chief, Steve

Voices from the Front Lines with Corrections Officer, Mike

Voices from the Front Lines with Law Enforcement Officer, Sachin

Voices from the Front Lines with Social Worker, Ash (Summer Series)

Voices from the Front Lines with Paramedic, Steven (Summer Series)

Escape Hatch with Artillery Gunner Turned Entrepreneur & Social Activist, Kelsi (Escape Hatch Series)

Escape Hatch with 911 Dispatcher, Maria (Escape Hatch Series)

Escape Hatch with Entrepreneurial Firefighter, Mike (Escape Hatch Series)

The Backup Plan (Escape Hatch Series)

Bi-Lateral Stimulation (May Mini's Series)

Sensory (May Mini's Series)

Grounding (May Mini's Series)

Relaxation (May Mini's Series)

Worry Jar (May Mini's Series)

Managing Guilt (On Leave Series)

Refining Self-Advocacy (On Leave Series)

Developing Self-Direction Skills (On Leave Series)

Stumbling Blocks On Leave (On Leave Series)

Normal Daily Living (Being *Normal* Series)

Normal with Kids (Being *Normal* Series)

Normal Partner Relationships (Being *Normal* Series)

Normal Friendships (Being *Normal* Series)

This is *NOT* normal (Being Normal Series)

Trigger Prevention (Trigger Happy Series)

Trigger Management (Trigger Happy Series)

Normal Daily Living (Being Normal Series)

Normal with Kids (Being Normal Series)

Normal Partner Relationships (Being Normal Series)

Normal Friendships (Being Normal Series)

This is NOT normal (Being Normal Series)