Calling a few good men: Join Dr. Gerry in an online community for Catholic men: www.catholicjourneymen.com 

Dr. Gerry is on the Hallow App under "mental health" and "relationships". He discusses discovering one's identity in God and then expressing that identity with others. He also provides four guided meditations. Sign up for a free trial on Hallow here:

https://hallow.ac9mny.net/c/2969053/982234/11108

Dr. Laura shares her struggle with anorexia that emerged in college and how she became obsessed with numbers (food and exercise) as a way to gain a sense of control. She describes how her extroverted personality started to change and her personality was “shrinking” and this was a sign that she was in an unhealthy place because she was losing her identity. 

“Put on, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.” (Colossians 3)

Dr. Laura notes that eating disorders don’t always have a physical appearance. Anorexia can occur to people who are average or overweight in appearance. It is concerning when all your activities revolve around food or avoiding food. There was also a loss of relationships. Dr. Laura also discusses the difference between the ongoing recovery model and the full recovery model. 

Dr. Gerry discusses how food can be celebratory but also be a way to self soothe negative emotions. Dr. Laura mentions the dietician Ellyn Satter. “It is being able to choose food you enjoy and eat it and truly get enough of it – not just stop eating because you think you should. ... Normal eating is giving yourself permission to eat sometimes because you are happy, sad or bored, or just because it feels good.”

Dr. Laura explains how eating disorders don’t always “stay in one box”. She discusses binge eating disorder which is now in the DSM (manual for diagnosing mental health disorders). 

Dr. Laura urges us to be gentle with ourselves. Halloween through New Years we get “assaulted” by unhealthy food. New Year’s resolutions can be a “twisted Lent” which is detached to God. Putting a moral judgment on food is often unhelpful. There is a difference between disordered eating versus an eating disorder. Give grace and gentleness and notice when we want to berate ourselves for being “bad”. We speak to ourselves with harsh and moral language which can lead to body related negativity which can lead to an eating disorder. We must learn how to manage our relationship with food in a healthy way rather than merely eliminating certain foods completely. 

“For you shall eat the fruit of your handiwork. Blessed shall you be, and favored” (Psalm 128)

Food in the proper order is beautiful and created in nature – just like sex in the proper context. Temperance doesn’t mean eliminating everything that is tempting but managing our relationship with things in healthy ways.

Dr. Gerry integrates the best advice from the mental health community with the wisdom of St. Thérèse of Lisieux. 
 
The importance of “doing less” and setting realistic expectations. 
 
Practical suggestions to turn this season into an internal spiritual pilgrimage by increasing meditation, practicing mindfulness (watchfulness), loving others, and receiving comfort from God and His saints. 
 
“Rejoice always. Pray without ceasing. In all circumstances give thanks.” 1 Thessalonians 5
 
“In trial or difficulty I have recourse to Mother Mary, whose glance alone is enough to dissipate every fear” -St. Thérèse of Lisieux

“Kindness and truth shall meet; justice and peace shall kiss.” Psalm 85

Dr. Gerry and Mac discuss remaining joyful and being intentional, penitential, and reverential this Advent season. Dr. Gerry explores the parts of us that do not want to be repentant, and how to address our parts that need self-soothing. Dr. Gerry brings up attending to our pain during the holiday season rather than escaping with problem behaviors. Attending to our own pain can help us to be truly repentant and relate better with our loved ones. 

“Conduct[ing] yourselves in holiness and devotion, waiting for and hastening the coming of the day of God” 2 Peter

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Dr. Gerry and Thomas discuss how to overcome the narcissism of addiction by facing the often difficult (and even terrifying) task of surrendering to God and reaching out to others for help. We must often wait and be watchful. Thomas provides practical strategies for addressing the gaping hole left behind from an addiction. Dr. Gerry discusses how our addictions reveal what we really need, and he explains how we need secure attachment with God and others to feel safe.

“Watch, therefore; you do not know when the Lord of the house is coming” (Mark 13)

Thomas discusses how to see people as subjects instead of objectifying them, and Dr. Gerry brings up the topic of conditioning and how to “rewire” the brain. Addiction robs us of our sense that we have any choice, but activities like fasting, prayer, and receiving the sacraments allow us to slow down and receive the love, mercy, and a renewed relationship with God which leads us to choose a new path and receive further graces of love, strength, healing.

“Yet, O Lord, you are our father: we are the clay and you the potter; we are all the work of your hands.” (Isaiah 63)

Dr. Gerry mentions Our Lady of the Inexhaustible Cup and how Christ provides Living Water. Dr. Gerry explains how addictions begin when a behavior soothes deep pain that we would prefer to avoid. Dr. Gerry and Thomas also discuss how to wait when it feels intolerable. Dr. Gerry discusses “stillness” or “hesychasm” – cultivating a spirit of slowing down, waiting, and sitting with and ing to the pain. It is important not to spiritualize problems but seek meaningful forms of accompaniment. Our current culture makes it difficult to wait. Dr. Gerry also alludes to the need for boundaries when engaging with a loved one with an addiction.

Learn more about Thomas Clements and Zenith Ministries here:

www.zenithministries.com
470-253-0802
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Listen to Zenith's latest podcast at https://zenithministries.com/podcast-series/

Human nature tends to want to be more like “goats'' than “sheep”. It’s important to reflect on our internal dispositions to learn how we can be more like the “sheep” in the Good Shepherd’s flock.

Key Verses in Sunday Mass Readings

“I will rescue them from every place where they were scattered
when it was cloudy and dark. 
I myself will pasture my sheep;
I myself will give them rest, says the Lord GOD.”

“And he will separate them one from another,
as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats.
He will place the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.
Then the king will say to those on his right,
'Come, you who are blessed by my Father.
Inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

At the natural level, sheep and lambs are vulnerable and not very smart. They are docile and follow without question. Many of these characteristics are difficult for human beings to embrace; our nature tends to rebel against those things.

Goats, on the other hand, are often troublesome, independent, headstrong, and agile. They get bored easily and get into mischief. Humans tend to be much more like goats at the natural level.

To grow spiritually, we need to work on fostering the nature and internal disposition of sheep. Dr. Gerry and Dr. Peter go through a structured association exercise this week and invite you to do the same. Dr. Peter explores what Dr. Gerry’s responses might mean about his internal disposition and tendencies.

Action Item

Go through this week’s exercise, work with your responses to the structured association exercise, and pray about your internal “goat” and “sheep” dispositions.

When God hands us our “talents” in life, He knows what we are able to do with them and expects us to use our gifts for His glory. It can be challenging to overcome fear and avoid “burying a God-given talent.” Learn about getting to what’s behind the fear and techniques to help you affirm yourself and perhaps get unstuck in some aspect of your life.

Key Verses from Sunday Mass Readings

“His master said to him, 'Well done, my good and faithful servant. 

Since you were faithful in small matters,

I will give you great responsibilities.

Come, share your master's joy.’”

“‘Master, I knew you were a demanding person,

harvesting where you did not plant

and gathering where you did not scatter;

so out of fear I went off and buried your talent in the ground. 

Here it is back.'”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

Just as the master gives each servant a different number of talents, God gives us different gifts. He knows what we can handle and expects only what He knows we can do.

We often get psychologically stuck, frequently due to a feeling of shame or inadequacy, that causes fear. We can be like the third servant who “buried his talent” out of fear.

We often react the same way as that third servant, putting the cause of his own actions back on the master. Instead, we need to address where that fear comes from, work on ways to affirm ourselves, and seek the advantages of taking a risk.

To overcome fear, we can address the feelings of shame and inadequacy and where those feelings originated, we can deflate the risk, we can take smaller steps.

During a role-play exercise, Dr. Peter pretends to be the third servant and Dr. Gerry works with him through his fear, illustrating how active, motivational listening can help someone consider alternatives. 

Action Item

Identify one thing in your life that’s “a buried talent.” Think about an advantage to making a change. What would happen if you tried? If you sense fear, walk it back and see what causes the fear. Bring that root cause to prayer, to a friend or to a counselor to address.

We are called by Wisdom, or the Holy Spirit, to grow in virtue and our relationship with God over the course of our lives, but we often face common psychological reasons that get in our way.

Key Verses from Sunday Mass Readings

“Resplendent and unfading is wisdom,
and she is readily perceived by those who love her,
and found by those who seek her.”

“O God, you are my God whom I seek;
for you my flesh pines and my soul thirsts.”

“We do not want you to be unaware, brothers and sisters,
about those who have fallen asleep,
so that you may not grieve like the rest, who have no hope.”

"The kingdom of heaven will be like ten virgins
who took their lamps and went out to meet the bridegroom. 
Five of them were foolish and five were wise. 
The foolish ones, when taking their lamps,
brought no oil with them,
but the wise brought flasks of oil with their lamps.”

Where Psychology Meets Catholicism

Intelligence is different from wisdom. We can have intelligence with evil, but we cannot have wisdom with evil. Wisdom is alive, a personification of the Holy Spirit.

We are called to be more God-like in our relationships. Consider the mode of receiver; sometimes it can be prudent to not say something that is true.

Wisdom seeks us out; it comes to us if we’re receptive to that gift of God. We are called during our lives to build up our “oil” -- our virtues, our human formation, our spiritual formation. We need to be deliberate so we are ready for the wedding feast.

Just like the unprepared virgins could not “borrow” oil, we can’t borrow a relationship with God, virtues or human development at the end of our lives.

Action Item

Try to assess your “readiness” this week. Consider your prayer life and think specifically about the human things that get in the way. For example, do you struggle with lack of discipline or structure that leads you to forget to pray? Is there a lack of accountability to prayer? Do you feel you have to be perfect in your prayer? These things tend to also get in the way of our human relationships as well.

Jesus turns the shame-filled, anxiety-ridden narratives of our lives into redemption and transformation. Often, we don’t recognize that when we’re on that journey, and it takes effort to gain that perspective.

Key Verses From Sunday Readings

“These are the ones who have survived the time of great distress;
they have washed their robes
and made them white in the Blood of the Lamb.”

“Beloved, we are God’s children now;
what we shall be has not yet been revealed.
We do know that when it is revealed we shall be like him,
for we shall see him as he is.”

“Blessed are the poor in spirit,
for theirs is the Kingdom of heaven.
Blessed are they who mourn,
for they will be comforted.”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

Remember that we didn’t create ourselves. We’re all handed the context of our lives, and we’re called to live it out in a unique way in our journey toward heaven.

We are not the authors of our life narrative; we are the editors. From a psychological perspective, we can change our perception about the events of our lives to see Providence and grow nearer to seeing us as God sees us: as His beloved children.

Remember that you're the protagonist of your story, and that God always gives you a guide to help you along your journey as the “hero” of your story. That may be God the Father, Mother Mary, one of the saints, or someone here on earth. 

When we experience shame, we accept the story that someone else tells us about our lives, which is often inaccurate or simply false.

If our story involves great pain, we sometimes come up with a different story to cope. In the short term that can be helpful, but it often causes anxiety and despair in the long run. We need to find a different way to bring a new meaning to our pain and our story. We need to find and accept that transformation that God is waiting to give us.

Action Item

Pick something that has been difficult in your life. What negative emotion do you experience when you recall that part of your story? Now, pause, and think about where you go with that emotion? Does it go to a lie? Apply the story of saints to your story: when suffering comes, find ways to find repentance or purification, and then make a path decision. Go to your guide, pray, and ask how you’re supposed to see your narrative in a new light. Ask God how He wants you to see yourself. 

People who have superiority complexes are usually trying to make themselves feel better by belittling others. When we can understand what’s behind the attitude, it can help us be more compassionate and loving toward them.

Key Verses from Sunday Mass Readings

“Thus says the LORD:
‘You shall not molest or oppress an alien,

for you were once aliens yourselves in the land of Egypt.’”

“Brothers and sisters:

You know what sort of people we were among you for your sake. 

And you became imitators of us and of the Lord,

receiving the word in great affliction, with joy from the Holy Spirit,

so that you became a model for all the believers

in Macedonia and in Achaia.”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

When we interact with someone exhibiting a superiority complex, we tend to either take a helpless stance and become a victim or we create our own superiority complex to try to compensate.

In some cases, our psychological reaction is to just accept it because “that’s the way he/she is,” be angry about it, or even gravitate toward it.

Take a step back to think about what’s driving that behavior. Often, we brush it off as someone simply being mean or difficult.

The Pharisees exhibited a superiority complex because they felt threatened by Jesus’ work, healing and teaching. Sometimes Jesus punctures that attitude to teach them a lesson, but this week He gently shows them the correct path.

We need to learn who we are not by taking on a superiority persona, but through the eyes of someone who loves us. If we are well-grounded ourselves, we can see those who exhibit superiority more as God sees them, in their woundedness.

Action Item

Think of a situation when someone in your life exhibited superiority. Replay that scene and notice your reaction is or how you are triggered. You don’t need to excuse inappropriate behavior, but see if you can look past the exterior and see the person as a small child, see the insecurities. Can you soften your reaction?

Many of us feel trapped in some aspect of our lives, just as the Pharisees were trying to trap Jesus in their questioning in this week’s gospel. Just as Jesus had an unexpected answer for them, He has one for us if we’re willing to listen.

Key Verses from Sunday Mass Readings

“For the sake of Jacob, my servant,
of Israel, my chosen one,
I have called you by your name,
giving you a title, though you knew me not.”

“We give thanks to God always for all of you,
remembering you in our prayers,
unceasingly calling to mind your work of faith and labor of love
and endurance in hope of our Lord Jesus Christ,
before our God and Father,
knowing, brothers and sisters loved by God,
how you were chosen.”

“The Pharisees went off
and plotted how they might entrap Jesus in speech.”

“Then repay to Caesar what belongs to Caesar
and to God what belongs to God.”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

The Pharisees were trying to create a double bind with their questioning, giving Jesus only two impossible choices to select from. Often, we find ourselves in what seems like a double bind in some aspect of our own lives.

Just as Jesus showed them the true answer, destroying the idea that there was only a black and white option, He is ready and waiting to do that for us as well.

If we experience dissonance or a feeling of being trapped in an impossible situation or relationship, we are called to take that situation to God. Perhaps through prayer, speaking with a trusted loved one, or seeking professional help will give us that answer we’re seeking.

We need to learn to truly trust in God. Often, we want to trust God only if He gives us the answer we want Him to give us. We have to trust in His providence that whatever answer He gives us is best, even if it’s not what we think we want.

Action Item

Think about a situation that doesn’t appear to have a “right” answer. Seek and pray for truth in the situation. Then, seek a second set of eyes. Turn to a trusted friend or family member, priest, or counselor and bring the situation to them. Putting the situation into words can often help. Think about advice you’d give to someone else who is in the same situation to gain distance. Listen to your own advice. Bring that to prayer.

Just as the invited individuals in this week’s Gospel refuse to attend the king’s wedding feast, we often do the same in our lives. Although this can be attributed to sin or distractions, it can also come from psychological blind spots that we refuse to address.

Key Verses from Sunday Readings

“On this mountain the LORD of hosts
will provide for all peoples
a feast of rich food and choice wines”

“My God will fully supply whatever you need,
in accord with his glorious riches in Christ Jesus.”

“The kingdom of heaven may be likened to a king
who gave a wedding feast for his son.
He dispatched his servants
to summon the invited guests to the feast,
but they refused to come.”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

Parts of us may feel that we are not valued or good enough. Other parts of us may be very self-centered or narcissistic in nature, which can be a defense against shame or fear. When we are blinded by these psychological efforts to protect ourselves, we cannot know ourselves, know others, or know God accurately.

These psychological blind spots lead to misperceptions of who God really is, and can keep us from the wedding feast.

God is waiting to give us the very best--the choicest wines. However, He can only invite us. He gives us the freedom to accept or refuse His gift.

In our fallen world, few people exhibit the conviction and boundless love of Jesus. We, instead, often separate those things, which can result in polarization. 

When Jesus encounters sinners in scripture who sincerely ask who He is, He is right there with them. When the Pharisees are dead set against Jesus, He still loves them by trying to pierce through their questions and accusations.

Action Item

Recognize that we all have blind spots. In order to find yours this week, ask yourself “What do I blame God for?” Don’t think about it too much, instead, just write down what comes to mind. It could include things like the premature death of a parent, an abusive situation, a difficult marriage, a lost job, an illness, or anything else where you feel “wronged by God.”

Take this list to God in prayer. These feelings can generate blind spots that keep us from being in relationship with Jesus. Give God the space to work in your life and listen to Him.

Anxiety is often a symptom in our modern world and can be a real barrier to our relationship with God as well as to our own healing. Our cognitions and surroundings can clearly affect our mood while meditation and prayer can bring an unsurpassing peace.

Key Verses from Sunday Mass Readings

“The vineyard of the LORD of hosts is the house of Israel,
and the people of Judah are his cherished plant;
he looked for judgment, but see, bloodshed!”

“Brothers and sisters:
Have no anxiety at all, but in everything,
by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving,
make your requests known to God

Then the peace of God that surpasses all understanding
will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.”

“Finally, brothers and sisters,
whatever is true, whatever is honorable,
whatever is just, whatever is pure,
whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious,
if there is any excellence
and if there is anything worthy of praise,
think about these things.”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

In the early days of the Church, there was a high cost to being Christian. Anxiety was often external; you often had to be in or out. Today, we have a great deal of anxiety, but it’s often more internal, especially in the midst of the pandemic. These internal conflicts make us vulnerable because we can destroy our own “vineyards” by withdrawing from God.

From a psychological perspective, we can often be stuck in shame, which can then become a barrier to God’s love. We can end up sabotaging our relationship with God.

Remember that anxiety is a symptom of something that causes us to feel that we are not being loved or cared for. God calls us to get to the roots of anxiety, which allows us to enter into a relationship with Him, and then heal.

God won’t force us into relationship with Him. We need to remove those natural barriers and allow ourselves to accept His love.

The world often offers a false truth. Instead, hold onto objective truth and focus on the honor and worthiness that exists in creation. Don’t allow yourself to let the media and sources of bad news disrupt your peace.

Cognitions affect our mood. Work to elevate your thoughts to something higher.

Action Item

Participate in this week’s meditation led by Dr. Gerry, which is based on a passage from St. Francis de Sales. Access God’s gentle presence and unsurpassing peace through meditation and prayer.

Listening in charity and trying to understand another’s point of view does not mean we need to agree with the other person. When Christ calls us to unity, it’s important to understand He’s calling us to unify in a love for God and one another--not necessarily in a singleness of ideas.

Key Verses from Sunday Readings

“When someone virtuous turns away from virtue to commit iniquity, and dies,
it is because of the iniquity he committed that he must die.
But if he turns from the wickedness he has committed,
he does what is right and just,
he shall preserve his life.”

“Remember your mercies, O Lord.
The sins of my youth and my frailties remember not; 
Good and upright is the LORD;
thus he shows sinners the way.
He guides the humble to justice, 
and teaches the humble his way.”

“Complete my joy by being of the same mind, with the same love,
united in heart, thinking one thing.
Do nothing out of selfishness or out of vainglory;
rather, humbly regard others as more important than yourselves.”

“Rather, he emptied himself,
taking the form of a slave”

“'Son, go out and work in the vineyard today.'
He said in reply, 'I will not, '
but afterwards changed his mind and went.
The man came to the other son and gave the same order.
He said in reply, 'Yes, sir, ‘but did not go.
Which of the two did his father's will?”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

We often underestimate how much parents affect children, but we also underestimate our ability to be able to break out of old patterns.

We have freedom and choices to make; with that comes both hope and responsibility. 

We’ll be judged by how we play the hand we’ve been dealt, yet God provides many graces to those who seek to do His will. The requirement is our humility.

Humility is psychologically difficult for all of us. There is self-protection in pride. We need to seek humility and be small like a child, trusting that we have a loving Father in God and mother in Mary.

Right now, we see a great deal of division within the Church. We see infighting about liturgical practices, COVID responses, masks, and many other issues of the day.

When Christ calls us to unity, He’s asking for a unity of spirit and of love -- not a similarity of ideas. How can we all be part of the mystical Body of Christ? It’s easy to lose the ability to understand where another person is coming from in the divisiveness.

Action Item

Think about how you are both supporting the unity of the Church and how you are undermining that unity. Take those observations to prayer. What is getting in the way of greater unity? Envy? Fear? Jealousy? Take it to prayer because of how important unity is to Our Lord.

Work should not define the person, as it is often the case in today’s world. Instead, we have to see that the dignity of work comes from the fact that it is done by an individual made in the image and likeness of God.

Key Verses from the Sunday Readings

“For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
nor are your ways my ways, says the LORD.”

“Brothers and sisters:
Christ will be magnified in my body, whether by life or by death.
For to me life is Christ, and death is gain.
If I go on living in the flesh,
that means fruitful labor for me.”

“What if I wish to give this last one the same as you?
Or am I not free to do as I wish with my own money?
Are you envious because I am generous?”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

We often get to know ourselves through our work. However, sometimes work begins to define our worth or who we are. If someone loses a job and wonders “what am I good for,” he or she has lost sight of the value of life itself.

Work should not define us. Instead, our human nature can be more fully expressed through our work. Work is only one expression of ourselves.

The world tends to have a utilitarian view of life. Our goodness and value are too frequently tied to what we contribute in our work.

We are reminded by St.Therese of the Little Flower that it’s important to do “little things with great love.” The love is the important part of the work.

Action Item

Look at the different elements of your work, and try to identify an aspect of your work that you tend to under value. What do you recognize about yourself? What can you better appreciate about these aspects?

It’s important to understand the difference between the feeling of anger, which carries no moral weight, and the importance of learning to deal with anger in a healthy way psychologically. Doing so, not only affects us in a positive way, but helps us lift up the entire body of Christ.

Key Verses from Sunday Readings

Wrath and anger are hateful things,
yet the sinner hugs them tight.
The vengeful will suffer the LORD’s vengeance,
for he remembers their sins in detail.

The Lord is kind and merciful, slow to anger, and rich in compassion.
For as the heavens are high above the earth,
so surpassing is his kindness toward those who fear him.

At that, the servant fell down, did him homage, and said,
‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back in full.’
Moved with compassion the master of that servant
let him go and forgave him the loan. 

Then in anger his master handed him over to the torturers
until he should pay back the whole debt. 
So will my heavenly Father do to you,
unless each of you forgives your brother from your heart.”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

It’s important to understand that the feeling of anger carries no moral weight. Jesus is angry at multiple points in the Gospels. His is always a righteous anger that reflects justice, as is the king’s anger in this week’s Gospel reading.

As parents, we need to help our children with emotional regulation. We need to help them find ways that they can appropriately express anger in an acceptable way. It’s not psychologically healthy to believe that angry feelings are wrong.

As adults, we often need to learn the same thing. Often, we will either suppress anger, which means it eventually comes out in other unconscious ways, or we tend to lash out uncontrollably when we’re angry. Instead, we have to titrate anger, understand how to heal from wounds, and make the willful decision not to harbor anger.

It’s also important not to “spiritually bypass” anger, by saying, almost too casually, “Oh, I just forgive whatever wrong happened.” Although forgiveness is an act of the will, doing so casually, can have negative impacts both for yourself and others.

Finally, remember that learning to titrate anger must be done in relationship. This could be in relationship with God through prayer, reaching out for help with a therapist, or dealing with the people involved in the situation.

We are all connected in the Body of Christ. Not only do we need to help one another, but those interconnected relationships affect the health of the entire Church Militant.

Action Items

1. Identify what you’re angry about. If you’re unreasonably angry about something, look for what’s under that. It could be some unresolved event from the past. Be open to that.
2. What about this event is emotion and what about this is the will? Am I harboring it? Am I acting out or gossiping?
3. Choose something relational to do. Take it to prayer. Maybe you want to discuss it further with a confessor, with an individual, or with a therapist.

We need to embrace three basic principles, as well as overcome the common psychological barriers to these principles, in order to exercise real love to one another. Learn this week about how to overcome avoidance, isolation and resentment--and how doing so helps us love more fully and completely.

Key Verses of Sunday Mass Readings

“You, son of man, I have appointed watchman for the house of Israel;
when you hear me say anything, you shall warn them for me.
If I tell the wicked, ‘O wicked one, you shall surely die,’
and you do not speak out to dissuade the wicked from his way,
the wicked shall die for his guilt,
but I will hold you responsible for his death.”

“Brothers and sisters:
Owe nothing to anyone, except to love one another;
for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law.”

“Again, amen, I say to you,
if two of you agree on earth
about anything for which they are to pray,
it shall be granted to them by my heavenly Father.”

Where Psychology Meets Catholicism

Here are the three principles and the common psychological barriers that prevent us from achieving them:

Principle One: Don’t try to escape the pain. Although it’s human nature to try to stop pain and suffering, we are called as followers of Christ to approach suffering differently. The typical psychological barrier is avoidance, whether that be addiction, binging on food or videos, or simply not addressing the issue. Instead, try to bring that pain to God, ask for His will and understanding. Try to see God’s providence, but accept the fact that we may not be able to understand. Instead, we may need to rely on faith.

Principle Two: Don’t do it alone. Whatever the pain, come together with loved ones in prayer or ask for help. Address conflict, and find ways to accept the love and support of others. The psychological barrier to this principle is isolation. Although it’s good to take time to pray and reflect, don’t sink into stonewalling, resentment and harboring of anger.

Principle Three: Destroy your enemies with love. It’s easy for us to brood about someone’s mistreatment or wrongdoing, but this can have a negative effect on us more than the other person. The psychological barrier here is getting locked into negativity. For example, if we’re so worried about someone stealing from us that we can no longer be generous. Instead, try to remain detached and recollected.

One thing to keep in mind is that every person is at a different development point psychologically. It’s important to think about what is available in your arsenal of responses. In some cases, it may be best to walk away. Understand that this is a dynamic process. Work toward these principles while also being humble enough to know your limitations.

Action Item

Choose someone you’re having a conflict with, and try to put these principles into action to make a true act of love this week. 

It’s so easy to forget to try to see the events of our lives from God’s perspective instead of our own. We want to be in control, and instead of looking with eyes of faith at our personal crosses, we tend to get angry, sad and disappointed in what appears to be an injustice, suffering, or other wrongdoing on God’s part.

Key Verses from Sunday Readings

“You duped me, O LORD, and I let myself be duped;

you were too strong for me, and you triumphed.

All the day I am an object of laughter;

everyone mocks me.”

“But then it becomes like fire burning in my heart,

imprisoned in my bones;

I grow weary holding it in, I cannot endure it.”

“Do not conform yourselves to this age

but be transformed by the renewal of your mind,

that you may discern what is the will of God,

what is good and pleasing and perfect.”

“‘God forbid, Lord! No such thing shall ever happen to you.’

He turned and said to Peter,

‘Get behind me, Satan! You are an obstacle to me. 

You are thinking not as God does, but as human beings do.’”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

Just as Jeremiah has an “I’ve had it with you, God!” reaction in the first reading this week, how often do we feel that way about God? Yet, Jeremiah has this solid relationship with God, which is like “fire in his heart” giving him strength to see God’s providence.

Just a few verses before this week’s Gospel reading, Jesus calls Peter His rock, establishing him as the vicar of Christ. Yet, just moments later, Jesus is rebuking Peter. In this week’s Gospel, Peter is seeing Jesus’ upcoming crucifixion only in two dimensions -- only through human eyes. With no crucifixion, there is no redemption. That’s the third dimension; that’s what God sees.

We need to transform our minds to discern God’s will. We can’t understand all the events of our lives, especially the difficulties and sufferings with human reason alone.

We need to renew our minds, addressing the psychological factors that get in the way of seeing in that third dimension, of seeing God’s perspective and His providential love.

“Lord, that I may see!” We need to ask for God’s help and make an effort to see God’s providence. We need to listen, be small, trust in God -- and appreciate how difficult that is for us as fallen humans.

Action Item

Get in the habit of trying to see God’s perspective. Take three sheets of paper and some quiet time and space. Think of something that’s troubling you. It can be something small that just happened or something more long-standing.

On the first sheet of paper, simply write down what comes to mind about that situation.

Pray that the Lord will help you see His perspective, ask to be enlightened. On the second sheet of paper, write down your perceptions and thoughts again.

On the third sheet of paper, try to let God write it down. Ask Him how He sees the situation. If you have trouble with this step, reflect on why and bring that to prayer. For example, “Lord, I’m having trouble hearing you because I’m feeling so angry, hopeless, depressed, anxious, etc.”

As human beings, we learn who we are in relationship to others. Because of our sin and the sin of others, this often results in an inaccurate picture of who we really are. We usually don’t see ourselves as God sees us, which often results in feeling “lost”. Learn how to begin to change that--and how we can allow Christ to “find” us.

Key Verses from Sunday Readings

“On that day I will summon my servant

Eliakim, son of Hilkiah;

I will clothe him with your robe,

and gird him with your sash,

and give over to him your authority.”

“For who has known the mind of the Lord

or who has been his counselor?

Or who has given the Lord anything

that he may be repaid?”

“And so I say to you, you are Peter,

and upon this rock I will build my church,

and the gates of the netherworld shall not prevail against it.”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

We learn who we are in relationship to others. When we grow up in dysfunctional families, this often leads to a lack of affirmation. We cannot see ourselves as beloved children of God if those around us do not treat us as such.

Even the best of parents and teachers, in the human fallen state, cannot help us develop a true sense of how valuable and loved we are by God. There will always be distortions.

Think of how many of us “know about” Jesus -- but how many of us really “know” Jesus?

Jesus constantly selects people who are flawed and imperfect during His time on earth to help show them who they are in His eyes. We are the work of His hands--we are works of art.

We need to learn to be found by God by  loving ourselves, and we do that by bring ourselves into relationship with Our Lord and Our Lady.

Action Item

Take some time this week to participate in an experiential exercise led by Dr. Gerry. He helps us imagine ourselves being called by name at the River Jordan by Jesus. Bring your experiences, feelings and thoughts from this exercise into your prayer life this week.

Learn the four essential things that are needed to allow God to grant our hearts’ desire.  We also discuss the common psychological impediments to each of these things in petitionary prayer.

Key Verses in Sunday Readings

“The foreigners who join themselves to the LORD,

ministering to him,

loving the name of the LORD,

and becoming his servants—

all who keep the sabbath free from profanation

and hold to my covenant,

them I will bring to my holy mountain

and make joyful in my house of prayer.”

“For God delivered all to disobedience,

that he might have mercy upon all.”

“At that time, Jesus withdrew to the region of Tyre and Sidon. 

And behold, a Canaanite woman of that district came and called out,

‘Have pity on me, Lord, Son of David! 

My daughter is tormented by a demon.’

But Jesus did not say a word in answer to her. 

Jesus’ disciples came and asked him,

‘Send her away, for she keeps calling out after us.’”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

Sometimes we tend to look down on petitionary prayer or see it as only being acceptable if the petition is requested for someone else. In this week’s Gospel, the Canaanite woman begs for Our Lord’s help. Despite the fact that Jesus seems to dismiss her at first, she perseveres.

When God says what seems like “no”, it should increase our desire to ask again to grant our prayers, according to His will. We need to be humble and enlightened by faith and trust that He wants to give us what is the very best for us.

Here are the four essentials things we need to have and do to allow God to answer our prayers:

1. Have a Worthy Request. Be sure that you come to Christ with a pure intention in your petitionary prayer. Sometimes, we may feel that we are certain something is good for us but may not see all the details. Be sure to add to your prayer a request that God’s will be done in His answer. 
2. Confidence in Christ. Most of us have faulty God images that are based on our worldly relationships. It’s easy to lose confidence in Christ when people have disappointed us. Instead, we need to learn to see God for who He really is and have the utmost confidence and trust in Him.
3. Stay Engaged. Just like the Canaanite woman, we need to be persistent in our request. Be humble and patient. Many of us may have a fear of rejection, which can lead us to give up on God or on working on our relationship with Him. Instead, we have to work to stay engaged, struggling and wrestling with God through our prayer request.
4. Humility. Sometimes, making a petitionary request can activate shame, which can close us off to further engagement with Christ. The Canaanite woman is not full of pride. She accepts being compared to a dog and continues to make her request for the healing of her child. She is transparent and vulnerable to not only Christ, but to the disciplines and others in that public setting.

Action Item

Consider the four essential things and think about where you might have psychological impediments to petitionary prayer. Then bring those things to Our Lord in prayer and ask Him to help you overcome them so you can grow in relationship with Him.

Many of us need to learn to down-regulate and re-focus our attention on God in order to better cope with the challenges of daily life. Learn a simple process that can help you slow down before making an impulsive decision.

Key Verses from Sunday Readings

“Then the LORD said to him,

‘Go outside and stand on the mountain before the LORD;

the LORD will be passing by.’”

“Kindness and truth shall meet;

justice and peace shall kiss.”

“‘Lord, if it is you, command me to come to you on the water.’

He said, ‘Come.’ 

Peter got out of the boat and began to walk on the water toward Jesus. 

But when he saw how strong the wind was he became frightened;

and, beginning to sink, he cried out, ‘Lord, save me!’”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

In this week’s gospel, Peter follows his heart and asks to go out to our Lord. While he’s focused on Jesus, he’s walking on water, but when he notices the wind and the waves, he starts sinking. We often focus ‘on the wind and waves’ of our lives and lose our focus on Christ.

However, Peter has great resiliency. As soon as he begins sinking, he calls out immediately to Jesus for help. He draws his trust and resiliency from Christ.

Christ calls Peter in the midst of the wind and the waves; He calms the storm after Peter walks out to him. In order to hear and respond to Christ, we need to not only quiet our external environment but also quiet ourselves internally. We need recollection.

We need to learn to filter out unnecessary external stimuli so we can focus on what’s important. We need to attend to our physical bodies, slow down our breathing, down regulate so that we can problem-solve with God’s direction, presence and assistance.

Action Item

This week when we are tempted to be impulsive, try the following technique. Remember SLPTA:

S: Stop, don’t act immediately.

L: Listen internally, reflect, check on your emotions and your physical state.

P: Pray and be recollected.

T: Think about the best course of action in this situation.

A: Action. After slowing down and moving through these steps, then decide on your action.

It’s easy to understand that we often translate our human experiences into how we do or don’t relate to God. If we have lacked safety and security in an important human relationship, it makes it very difficult for us to trust God. Finding ways to work through that disconnect is a key to a more intimate relationship with Him.

Key Verses from Sunday Readings

“Brothers and sisters:

What will separate us from the love of Christ?

Will anguish, or distress, or persecution, or famine,

or nakedness, or peril, or the sword?”

“No, in all these things we conquer overwhelmingly

through him who loved us.”

“The hand of the Lord feeds us; he answers all our needs.”

“When Jesus heard of the death of John the Baptist,

he withdrew in a boat to a deserted place by himself.

The crowds heard of this and followed him on foot from their towns.

When he disembarked and saw the vast crowd,

his heart was moved with pity for them, and he cured their sick.”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

When we suffer with psychological issues like anguish and distress, God is ready to help us conquer them overwhelmingly.

We’re always stuck in this place of tension where we have one foot in the spiritual reality of God and the other foot stuck in our secular world where we’re often disappointed in the people and relationships around us.

One main psychological issue in attachment theory is feeling safe and secure. When we lack this in a part of our human lives, we face a psychological catch-22. If we’ve experienced a lack of safety or security in our childhood, we assume safety and security will not be in future relationships. Therefore, we also don’t seek it.

It’s hard to consciously ask God for safety and security when we unconsciously don’t believe it’s there.

God gives special graces to those who have suffered from abandonment, abuse or death of a father figure. Often, there’s both a spiritual and natural hunger for God the Father who draws us into an even more intimate relationship with Him.

When the crowds seek Jesus while He’s grieving in this week’s Gospel, He helps them. We are not an inconvenience to God. When we turn to Him, He is waiting for us.

Action Item

This week, work on creating an affect or emotional bridge. Consider sometime in your past when you’ve lacked safety and security, perhaps when you got separated from a parent in a store or were frightened by something. Take that to prayer, and walk through that experience with God, Jesus, Mary or one of the saints by your side. Engage God in a conversation about the experience, ask questions, share how you’re feeling, and allow Him to help you heal through that memory. The exercise combines prayer with working through attachment aspects of safety and security.

Sometimes we think that doing God’s will is about simply bearing the cross and giving up good things in this life. However, when we do God’s will, it often leads to unexpected joy -- a greater joy than we would have imagined.

Key Verses from Sunday Readings

“Give your servant, therefore, an understanding heart

to judge your people and to distinguish right from wrong.”

“We know that all things work for good for those who love God,

who are called according to his purpose.”

“The kingdom of heaven is like a treasure buried in a field,

which a person finds and hides again,

and out of joy goes and sells all that he has and buys that field.”

“When he finds a pearl of great price,

he goes and sells all that he has and buys it.”

“Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a net thrown into the sea,

which collects fish of every kind.”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

It takes a level of humility to believe that doing God’s will ultimately brings us the greatest joy. Often, we equate God’s will with bearing the cross or giving up a good.

For example, some people who struggle with addictions may believe they need whatever they are addicted to in order to survive, but once they are able to give that up, often with professional help, they find themselves so much more joyful and free.

We often create our own “yokes” or problems that are not what God intends for us. We need to ask Him what we need; sometimes, it’s not apparent what we need to find the joy that God intends for us.

The net in this week’s gospel is cast to collect everything: different fishes and other sea debris. It’s not our place to sort it out. God will do that in the end. Although we can judge actions as right or wrong, it is not our place to judge intentions or souls.

Even if we do not verbally share judgments, if we harbor them in our hearts, it still affects our relationships with others. We must recognize how little we understand about others’ intentions.

Action Item:

Ask yourself, “What do I have to give up to do God’s will?” Think about what comes to mind, and remember it can be an objectively good thing. Then, ask “Will giving that up bring me more joy? More freedom? More peace?”

We need to understand that God doesn’t expect us to pray perfectly. In fact, it’s okay to pray badly -- and we need to get better at praying badly. From a psychological perspective, we need to take risks in prayer to deepen our relationship with God.

Key Verses from Sunday Readings

“And you taught your people, by these deeds,

that those who are just must be kind;

and you gave your children good ground for hope

that you would permit repentance for their sins.”

“You, O LORD, are good and forgiving,

abounding in kindness to all who call upon you.”

“The Spirit comes to the aid of our weakness;

for we do not know how to pray as we ought,

but the Spirit himself intercedes with inexpressible groanings.”

“While everyone was asleep his enemy came

and sowed weeds all through the wheat, and then went off.

When the crop grew and bore fruit, the weeds appeared as well.

The slaves of the householder came to him and said,

‘Master, did you not sow good seed in your field?

Where have the weeds come from?’

He answered, ‘An enemy has done this.’”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

G.K. Chesterton says, “If a thing is worth doing, it’s worth doing badly,” which is counter to the world’s message that we have to do things perfectly. This can lead to us being afraid or to avoid trying things, especially in prayer.

Think about how a good father helps a child to learn to talk. He works to understand what the toddler is trying to say, help him with grammar and diction, and helps him put his needs and thoughts into the right words. We are to be like little children with God. He promises us in this week’s readings that He will help us.

Remember that prayer is all about relationship with God. He looks at me; I look at Him. Many of us may get wrapped up the perfect form of prayer. God wants a relationship with us; not a perfect performance of prayer.

The translation of “weed” in this week’s gospel is actually Darnel ryegrass, which looks a lot like wheat, gets impossibly tangled with wheat, and can host a poisonous microbe that can cause hallucinations. The only main, recognizable difference is the fruit: the seed of wheat is brown while the seed of Darnel ryegrass is black

Just like some people in the world, it looks good and perhaps holy on the outside, but has poisonous fruit. However, God assures us that He will take care of it in the end. Our job is to do the best we can. We can pray badly; He will compensate for us. He’s only asking that our hearts are in the right place; He will do the rest.

Action Items

This week, try one new thing in your prayer that you think might bring you into a deeper relationship with God. It might be singing a hymn badly. It might be having a heart-to-heart discussion about something important; maybe you can’t express your fear, anxiety or worry in the right words, but try. Recognize how God helps you in the effort.

The parable of the sower and the seed is about being receptive to God’s gifts and promptings. It’s a story that’s meant to touch our heart and soul as well as to be intellectually understood. Learn how to be spiritually and psychologically more receptive to the soil of God’s word.

Key Verses from Sunday Readings

“We know that all creation is groaning in labor pains even until now;

and not only that, but we ourselves,

who have the firstfruits of the Spirit,

we also groan within ourselves

as we wait for adoption, the redemption of our bodies.”

“A sower went out to sow.

And as he sowed, some seed fell on the path,

and birds came and ate it up.

Some fell on rocky ground, where it had little soil.

It sprang up at once because the soil was not deep,

and when the sun rose it was scorched,

and it withered for lack of roots.

Some seed fell among thorns, and the thorns grew up and choked it.

But some seed fell on rich soil, and produced fruit,

a hundred or sixty or thirtyfold.

Whoever has ears ought to hear.”

“Gross is the heart of this people,

they will hardly hear with their ears,

they have closed their eyes,

lest they see with their eyes

and hear with their ears

and understand with their hearts and be converted,

and I heal them.”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

Jesus teaches in parables to help Him reach our hearts just as we teach our children moral lessons through fables and stories. Jesus wants us to learn in an integrated way--not just intellectually through studying our catechism--but through stories that can change our heart, soul, and even affect our body sensations.

When Jesus talks about seed falling on the hard path, we can see that psychologically as a closed mind. When we are afraid or cognitive inflexible in hearing, the seed is landing on that hard path.

The rocky soil are the moments of trial and persecution. We all may know we need to stay calm and recollected, but when life’s irritations or frustrations arise, it’s easy to get carried away by our passions and allow that seed to wither away in those moments.

Seed falling among the thorns could mean our attachments to worldly cares and riches or they may refer to things like anxiety that shades the seed and steals its nutrients, preventing it from truly growing.

The good soil is receptive. The essence of life is in the seed, but the seed needs the soil. There’s a necessary relationship. It’s interesting to note the Latin root of humus, which is the organic material in the soil, is the same as humility, which is needed to be in relationship with Christ.

Action Item

Practice at least one of the four ways to hear with your heart, or do all four this week:

1. Allow yourself to be influenced by God and by loved ones. Be receptive to the soil.
2. Spend some time in reflection, perhaps in your prayer, spiritual reading, or observations. Let those experiences sink in.
3. Make some space to be with those reflections. Slow down daily life. Let go of distractions. Allow the nourishment in the soil to reach your heart.
4. Take some kind of action. That’s the fruit. Do something differently as a result.

It’s often easier for us to read about God or execute spiritual practices than to have a true relationship with Him due to psychological wounds from our past. We need to learn to open our hearts to allow God to give us an experience of His comfort and care.

Key Verses from Sunday Readings

“See, your king shall come to you;

a just savior is he,

meek, and riding on an ass,

on a colt, the foal of an ass.”

“Brothers and sisters:

You are not in the flesh;

on the contrary, you are in the spirit,

if only the Spirit of God dwells in you.”

“Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened,

and I will give you rest.

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,

for I am meek and humble of heart;

and you will find rest for yourselves.

For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

Two secular psychologists promote an Idealized Parent Figure Therapy protocol where patients are asked to create perfect, imaginary parent figures to relate with in order to heal. As Catholics, we already have perfect real parents in God the Father and the Blessed Virgin Mary. We need them to re-parent us.

.

Learning to feel reassured and comforted from God the Father and Mary is not a mental exercise. It’s a matter of becoming a small child full of simple trust. This is difficult because many of us have been hurt when we’ve allowed ourselves to become vulnerable to people in our lives. Because of these experiences, we don’t want to allow ourselves to be vulnerable to God.

When the Gospel says “my yoke is easy,” the translation of easy is “fits”. God selects a yoke that fits us perfectly; just as a carpenter can make a yoke for an animal that fits it perfectly. When we pick our own yokes, our own crosses, our own practices, we sometimes experience pain, chafing and greater difficulties. 

Action Item

This week, reflect on where you go for comfort when you’re in your dark place. Do you try to find consolation in your spouse, children, or friend? Or in alcohol, food or TV? Then, start doing St. Ignatius’ particular examination of conscience that focuses on a particular vice and its opposite virtue. Ask God to help you trust Him to be the ultimate source for comfort and consolation. Ask Him to help you experience that.

Although there is some overlap of good that comes from both secular and Catholic-based psychology, they are often diametrically opposed when it comes to finding true happiness. Humanistic psychology is often focused on self while psychology based on a Catholic worldview is focused on selflessness.

Key Verses from Sunday Readings

“Since he visits us often, let us arrange a little room on the roof

and furnish it for him with a bed, table, chair, and lamp,

so that when he comes to us he can stay there.”

“Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me,

and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me”

“Whoever receives a prophet because he is a prophet

will receive a prophet’s reward,

and whoever receives a righteous man

because he is a righteous man

will receive a righteous man’s reward.”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

There’s a theme in this week’s readings that focus on service and hospitality for those called to a more direct and active mission for God. In helping those called to achieve their mission, we achieve ours.

We are called to live out our duties of state, and within that, we are asked to look for ways to be selfless in serving Christ.

Many people make sacrifices from a worldly perspective: giving up time with family to succeed in a career, leaving homeland to serve in the military, passing up expensive items for financial security. 

Are we willing to make the same level of difficult sacrifices for Christ? Psychologically, it’s harder to pick up the cross to serve God in a radical way.

We are steeped in the message that secular psychology delivers: if we reach our full human potential, we will be happy.

The gospel instead tells us that in giving up worldly things to serve God, we undergo a process of sanctification that will radically transform us to finding our true selves and true happiness.

We can’t understand the cross with human reason only, it requires divine revelation to accept the “hard road” especially when secular psychology pushes us to find the easier way, the way of safety and comfort, the path that we’re naturally inclined to take.

Action Item

Pray about something you can do that’s selfless for someone else. Really listen to someone you don’t like or don’t agree with. Let others go first, in line or on the road. Make a financial sacrifice. Replace the time you spend playing video games or watching TV with prayer or service this week.

No amount of knowledge or control will help us overcome our fear, only a trust in God’s love will help us truly overcome fear. We must exercise courage, despite our feelings of fear, in order to grow in this virtue.

Key Verses from Sunday Readings

“I hear the whisperings of many:

‘Terror on every side!

Denounce! let us denounce him!’”

“O LORD of hosts, you who test the just,

who probe mind and heart,

let me witness the vengeance you take on them,

for to you I have entrusted my cause.”

“See, you lowly ones, and be glad;

you who seek God, may your hearts revive!”

“Jesus said to the Twelve:

‘Fear no one.’”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

Fear is a natural human response. People can do things to make their fear better or worse.

We make fear worse when we lose our sense of time and leave the present moment. We either remember bad scenarios in the past or worry about what might happen in the future. Instead, focus on the present and ask yourself, “Do I have everything I need right now?”

Knowledge, intellect, and human control doesn’t give us an increased sense of safety. Secular psychology that focuses on increasing self-confidence doesn’t work in the long run.

Instead, we have to have a primary sense of God’s love. He is our source of safety and security. Remember God knows everything that’s happening now and will happen. He’s in control.

Fearlessness is being out of touch with your own fear and not understanding of others’ fear. Courage is taking positive action in spite of feeling fear. Remember Our Lady was afraid when she was searching for Jesus in Jerusalem, and Jesus was afraid in the Garden of Gethsemane.

You have to make a choice between suppressing fear or rallying courage. Suppressing fear often leads to a shrinking “safe space” while rallying courage helps you rise to the challenge and expands your world.

Action Item

Pray and discern what you’re fearful about, ask for God’s help, and then take an action to practice courage. It could be a particular phone call you don’t want to return or a specific action you’re afraid to take. Trust in God and do what is right. Put yourself in a situation to practice courage.

Addiction can be a false idol, distancing us from the Body and Blood of Jesus as well as dehumanizing and isolating ourselves from one another.

Key Verses from Sunday Readings

"Remember how for forty years now the LORD, your God,

has directed all your journeying in the desert ...

He therefore let you be afflicted with hunger,

and then fed you with manna.”

“The cup of blessing that we bless,

is it not a participation in the blood of Christ?

The bread that we break,

is it not a participation in the body of Christ?”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

The context of the second reading this week discusses how there used to be a belief that demons resided in food, and by partaking of that food, you had the demon within you. The teaching, then, talked about how that could not co-exist with the Eucharist.

When we have an addiction to something, it’s like allowing that demon or enslavement into us. Those things cannot co-exist with our Christian life. However, from a psychological standpoint, we tend to want to compartmentalize ourselves: we can try to hold our Christian self and tuck away this addiction into another part of us in order to hold onto it.

The problem is that once that addiction seeps into the rest of our lives, it can overwhelm our entire selves and systems, drawing us into relationship issues, shame, and other serious problems.

We need to bring out that part of us, at least to ourselves and to our confessor and admit this addiction is an enslavement and not compatible with the whole. We need integration of self. Watch for the two bad fruits of addiction: dehumanization and isolation.

Action Items

If possible, have a priest come bless your home. However, Dr. Gerry shares a short prayer you can use to sanctify your devices and living space, turning them over to God’s service. Dr. Peter suggests that you explore any negative reaction to saying such a prayer over a particular item or place, which can give you insight to a potential attachment or addiction.

Our God concept is what we profess to be true as faithful, orthodox Catholics and is based on our catechism and the teachings of the Church. Our God image, however, is what we feel in our unconscious about God when we’re in our dark place. We experience tension when our God concept conflicts with our God image.

Key Verses from Sunday Readings

"The LORD, the LORD, a merciful and gracious God,

slow to anger and rich in kindness and fidelity."

“For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world,

but that the world might be saved through him.”

Where Catholicism Means Psychology

Everyone has a God concept. This is what we profess to be true about God and what we know intellectually. It reflects the teachings of the Church, the Bible and our catechism. It’s what we believe in our conscious mind.

We also have a God image. This is what we feel to be true about God in our unconscious when we’re in our dark place. It’s often based on our experiences in this sinful world and incorrectly generalizes to God.

We experience tension when there is conflict between our God concept and our God image. In a way, we need to internally evangelize those unconscious parts of us that hold an untrue God image.

Much of our God image is formed before we are two years old and definitely before the age of reason. For instance, if we’re taught that God loves us and will protect us, but then experience abandonment, abuse or neglect as a child, it’s easy to generalize those human experiences to God.

You can’t reason your way out of an incorrect God image. You have to allow God’s grace to provide an experience to help you remove these psychological impediments.

Action Item:

Answer the following questions to help you begin to understand your personal God image. Begin by imagining you’re in your dark place. It may be a place of depression, anxiety, shame or inferiority. Reflect on these questions:

1. How do you feel? How do you feel about God?
2. What are your assumptions or beliefs?
3. How do you generalize these beliefs to God?
4. What does your body feel like?
5. What are your resulting attitudes?
6. What are your temptations?
7. What are your acts?

Bringing these reflections to consciousness can help you understand what to pray for. God wants our brokenness so He can heal us.

Ending power struggles with spouses, children and within other important relationships requires an acknowledgement of what you can own on your part, a recognition of the other as a child of God, and an understanding of the need we all have of one another.

Key Verses from Sunday Readings

“Then there appeared to them tongues as of fire,
which parted and came to rest on each one of them.
And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit
and began to speak in different tongues,
as the Spirit enabled them to proclaim.”

“As a body is one though it has many parts,
and all the parts of the body, though many, are one body,
so also Christ.”

“Jesus said to them again, ‘Peace be with you.
As the Father has sent me, so I send you.’
And when he had said this, he breathed on them and said to them,
‘Receive the Holy Spirit.’”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

Just as Christ chose to “need” us to complete His mission on earth, we “need” one another in our individual lives as well as within the Body of Christ.

Power struggles within relationships are often counter to this mission; they are divisive. From a psychological perspective, power struggles are often about “winning” an argument or trying to control or change another person. They do not “give life” or “restore” the other as we are called to do.

Jesus calls us to be in harmony in the Body of Christ. In order to do this, one person in the power struggle must be self-possessed, calm and recollected to de-escalate the situation. Remember, you can only control your portion of the conflict.

Nearly all, if not all, conflict has two sides. Own the part of the conflict that is yours. Apologize if it’s warranted and you are in a place to say you’re sorry.

Remember to see the other person as God does: as a beloved child made in His image and likeness. Use that image to help cultivate respect of the other, even in conflict.

Parents often demand respect from their children. Instead, work to create an environment for respect to flourish. This could start with praying together or doing positive activities to foster a change within the family system.

Recognize that we all have an interdependancy within the family and within the body of God. 

Action Item

After a power struggle or before one occurs, think about and even write down the part of the conflict you can own, how you can recognize that, and if an apology is appropriate. Recognize the other person is a beloved child of God. Consider the important role that person plays in your life, not only in what they are or do for you, but what they encourage you to work on in yourself. 

By understanding the psychological factors that contribute to why we struggle with faith and doubt, we can bring them into our conscious awareness and deal with them directly. This, in turn, opens our hearts to be able to better accept God’s grace and His gift of faith.

Key Verses from Sunday Readings

“He presented himself alive to them

by many proofs after he had suffered,

appearing to them during forty days

and speaking about the kingdom of God.”

“When they had gathered together they asked him,

‘Lord, are you at this time going to restore the kingdom to Israel?’”

“They said, ‘Men of Galilee,

why are you standing there looking at the sky?

This Jesus who has been taken up from you into heaven

will return in the same way as you have seen him going into heaven.’”

“May the eyes of your hearts be enlightened,

that you may know what is the hope that belongs to his call.”

“The eleven disciples went to Galilee,

to the mountain to which Jesus had ordered them.

When they saw him, they worshiped, but they doubted.”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

We see the apostles’ doubt throughout all the readings and the gospels over the last several weeks. It was hard to believe in the resurrection even though Jesus was there with them. Many of us also struggle with doubt today.

Often, there are psychological factors underlying why we struggle with faith and doubt. We need to bring those factors out of the unconscious to the conscious so we can address them.

As a result of original sin, we suffer psychological as well as physical consequences. Because of things like trauma or dissociation, parts of us may not be in union with Christ. Those parts can then breed doubt or intrusive thoughts.

Just like the serpent created doubt in Adam and Eve’s minds in the garden of Eden, he may use our doubt as a hook, which opens us to temptation that can lead to sin. 

Sometimes our doubt may be trying to “protect” us from some perceived danger, which may actually be an underlying problem in our relationship with God. We need to bring these things to the surface so we can work with them in a deliberate and prayerful way. 

Action Item

Participate in this week’s experiential exercise, which Dr. Peter leads you through at the end of the program, to see if you can uncover any psychological reasons for doubt.

The real reason to be obedient is because God loves us and He has the perfect plan for our lives. Obedience is the way to discover that plan.

Key Bible Verses from Sunday Readings

“Always be ready to give an explanation

to anyone who asks you for a reason for your hope,

but do it with gentleness and reverence,

keeping your conscience clear,

so that, when you are maligned,

those who defame your good conduct in Christ

may themselves be put to shame.”

“If you love me, you will keep my commandments.

And I will ask the Father,

and he will give you another Advocate to be with you always,

the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot accept,

because it neither sees nor knows him.”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

Our world often equates being obedient to relinquishing freedom. However, being obedient actually makes us more free to become more fully ourselves.

Children learn about obedience through their relationship with their parents. If obedience is used along with fear to force acceptable behavior, this affects how that person sees obedience to God later. Although it’s extremely difficult, demanding obedience as parents must always be surrounded with love. Parents should try not to discipline in anger, which is difficult in times of stress.

We have many psychological motivations for our actions. For instance, if we have bad thoughts about ourselves because we do bad things, we might try to convince ourselves that those things are actually good to justify our actions. Other times, we may feel bad about one area of our life and try to overcompensate in another area to “make up” for the first instead of addressing the root of the issue.

Any psychological disorder is a problem with love. Sin is anti-love, anti-relationship.

God sends us the Paraclete, who is a comforter and helper who will make us strong and brave. We have a mission to fight for Love and fight for the Good. 

Action Item

This week, think about your “cause” right now, how you will fight for Good. Consider who reflects the Holy Spirit in your life; who is your support and helper?

We often have psychological barriers to recognizing Our Lord. Learn how to identify and remove things such as grudges, old assumptions, and memories that tend to distort how we see and understand Jesus.

Key Verses from Sunday Mass Readings

“The word of God continued to spread,
and the number of the disciples in Jerusalem increased greatly;
even a large group of priests were becoming obedient to the faith.”

“You are ‘a chosen race, a royal priesthood,
a holy nation, a people of his own,
so that you may announce the praises’ of him
who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.”

“Thomas said to him,
‘Master, we do not know where you are going;
how can we know the way?’
Jesus said to him, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life.’”

“Philip said to him,
‘Master, show us the Father, and that will be enough for us.’
Jesus said to him, ‘Have I been with you for so long a time
and you still do not know me, Philip?’”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

We’ve had a theme of trying to recognize Jesus in recent Sunday readings: story of Thomas, the road to Emmaus, and the sheep recognizing the voice of the Good Shepherd. Do we recognize Jesus in our life?

When Thomas asks Jesus to show them the way, Jesus says He is the way, the truth and the life. That implies an intimate relationship with Jesus.

The early Christians recognized Christ in the holiness of those among them. They didn’t become Christians because of their learning or intelligence; they were chosen as leaders because of their love for one another and for non-Christians.

We often have a failure of the faculty of imagination. We are not open to possibilities that are beyond our limited vision. We need to be able to visualize how to let go of the filters that block our clear vision of who Christ is for us.

Action Plan for the Week

Participate in this week’s exercise designed to help you identify psychological obstacles to recognizing Jesus. Things like grudges, old assumptions, memories, resentment, and a lack of a providential worldview can be like sheets of distorted glass in front of us, which warps our perspective and relationship with Christ.

When Jesus, the Good Shepherd, calls us to be His sheep, He’s calling us to be docile. This often means listening to Him through others, being humble, and being open to others’ concerns, and even criticisms, about us.

Verses

Now when they heard this, they were cut to the heart,

and they asked Peter and the other apostles,

“What are we to do, my brothers?”

Peter said to them,

“Repent and be baptized, every one of you,

in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins;

and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.

If you are patient when you suffer for doing what is good,

this is a grace before God.

For to this you have been called,

because Christ also suffered for you,

The gatekeeper opens it for him, and the sheep hear his voice,

as the shepherd calls his own sheep by name and leads them out.

So Jesus said again, “Amen, amen, I say to you,

I am the gate for the sheep.

All who came before me are thieves and robbers,

but the sheep did not listen to them.

I am the gate.

Catholicism Meets Psychology

It’s human to want to defend ourselves and our ideas when someone comes to us with concerns or criticism. Our natural inclination is to defend and argue to get our point across.

Christ reminds us of the importance of relationship: He knows His sheep by name. We need to focus on loving the other person and that relationship instead of winning the argument, even through a difficult conversation and criticism.

If we are defensive and argumentative, we tend to damage the relationship with God, one another, and even ourselves. This often leads to suffering, isolation, and disconnection.

Instead, we should be open to being influenced, work on being docile, and listen to the voice of the Good Shepherd through the conflict.

Remember that God’s Providence works through all people and situations. Even if there’s no truth in what the other person is saying, God has something for you to learn or take away from that experience. If we can be open to that, we maintain connection with Christ and may be able to understand something deeper in the relationship itself as well.

Action Item

When someone criticizes you this week: stop, drop and listen. First, stop your natural immediate reaction to get defensive. Second, drop your objection and simply try to see what the other person is giving you. Finally, listen, by trying to understand that person’s experience is, focusing on the relationship. God may be opening a door for deeper understanding and relationship.

We must have a firm, stable, constant and unshaken confidence in God. According to St. Thomas, “Confidence is a hope fortified by solid conviction.”

 Key Verses from Sunday Mass Readings

“Therefore my heart is glad and my soul rejoices,

my body, too, abides in confidence;

because you will not abandon my soul to the netherworld,

nor will you suffer your faithful one to undergo corruption.”

“Jesus himself drew near and walked with them,

but their eyes were prevented from recognizing him.”

“With that their eyes were opened and they recognized him,

but he vanished from their sight.

Then they said to each other,

‘Were not our hearts burning within us

while he spoke to us on the way and opened the Scriptures to us?’”

“Therefore my heart is glad and my soul rejoices,

my body, too, abides in confidence;

because you will not abandon my soul to the netherworld,

nor will you suffer your faithful one to undergo corruption.”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

When we are children, we tend to see our parents as god-like figures. We are totally dependent on them, and we are born with a complete trust in them. As we grow up, we are disappointed in the fallen nature of those around us.

How our natural idealization of our parents ends plays a big role in how we come to see God. For example, if we are abused, neglected or traumatized as children, it’s easy for that god-like image to be shattered, and it’s understandable that we develop a lack of confidence in God.

We naturally begin to idealize other people such as teachers, romantic partners, or celebrities, seeking something that only God can provide. If all these idealized people disappoint us, we develop an unconscious belief that God will also let us down.

These human wounds blind us to God, just as the disciplines were blinded to Jesus on the road to Emmaus. But just like Jesus “opened their eyes,” He can open our hearts to Him, giving us the grace to experience this unshakable confidence, if we allow Him.

In order to develop a firm confidence in Christ, we must integrate our mind, heart, soul and body into one. This requires an experienced relationship with God to develop that complete trust and overcome a human fear of abandonment.

Action Plan for the Week

Participate in this week’s experiential exercise, which is led by Dr. Peter at the end of the episode, to help you begin this human integration and grow your confidence in God.

Forgiving is good for you. However, it's important to understand the difference between decisional and emotional forgiveness, the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation, and the role that mercy plays to elevate human forgiveness to a supernatural level.

Key Verses from Sunday Mass Readings

"Let the house of Israel say,
'His mercy endures forever.'
Let the house of Aaron say,
'His mercy endures forever.'
Let those who fear the LORD say,
'His mercy endures forever.'"

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
who in his great mercy gave us a new birth to a living hope
through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead,
to an inheritance that is imperishable, undefiled, and unfading,
kept in heaven for you."

“Receive the Holy Spirit.
Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them,
and whose sins you retain are retained.”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

Decisional forgiveness is an act of the intellect and the will. Emotional forgiveness is the following of the heart. The first is a decision to be made; it can take years or even decades for the latter to follow.

Forgiveness does not justify or condone the sinful act that occurred. Instead, it is a choice that is made to free yourself from harboring anger.

Forgiveness is a gift that you can offer. The receiving or accepting that gift by the other person is a separate component, which may not occur or may take longer to happen. If the gift of forgiveness is given and received, you achieve reconciliation.

Dr. Gerry cites several interesting psychological studies as well as a story of heroic forgiveness from the New York Times in this week's episode. Many studies find that the act of forgiving contributes to better emotional and physical health.

Dr. Peter reminds us that forgiveness occurs at the human, natural level. God's mercy is the infusion of grace, propelling forgiveness into the supernatural realm.

Action Plan for the Week

Identify something small that your spouse, child, or close friend does repeatedly that annoys you. Let go of the resentment or frustration, and make a decision to empathize with what they are doing and why they are doing it. Commit to forgiveness and observe what happens inside yourself.

Just as Mary Magdalene and all Jesus’ disciples were shell-shocked on Easter morning, we are often confused about the events of our own lives. Dr. Gerry and Dr. Peter talk about how we cannot rely solely on our limited human vision to understand why God allows the things that happen in our own lives, but instead rely on what we know from divine revelation.

Key Verses from Sunday Mass Readings

"I swear by myself, declares the LORD,
 that because you acted as you did
 in not withholding from me your beloved son,
 I will bless you abundantly."

"The LORD calls you back,
 like a wife forsaken and grieved in spirit,
 a wife married in youth and then cast off,
 says your God.
 For a brief moment I abandoned you,
 but with great tenderness I will take you back."

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
 nor are your ways my ways, says the LORD."

"I will give you a new heart and place a new spirit within you,
 taking from your bodies your stony hearts
 and giving you natural hearts."

"We know that Christ, raised from the dead, dies no more;
 death no longer has power over him."

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

Early on that first Easter Sunday morning, the disciples were utterly shell-shocked. The faced uncertainty and couldn’t understand the crucifixion. It’s similar to the fear and uncertainty that we might all be experiencing with COVID-19. We must not rely on our unaided human vision but on what we know from divine revelation.

If we did not form solid attachments as children, it’s easy to feel forsaken in difficult times. Today, with the closing of our churches, we may feel abandoned. God tells us this week that His love will never leave us. 

We often distort and confuse things in our minds or rely on our feelings. It’s important to remember that our subjectivity isn’t the measure.

From a neurological perspective, parts of our brain go offline when we experience trauma. As a result, we feel like both the past and future are collapsing into the present. Although that is a natural phenomenon, it has tremendous spiritual implications.

God, as a good father, can’t gratify us all the time. He must frustrate us with events that are good for us, but we often don’t understand why these things happen in the moment.

Action Items

Look at the image of Mother Mary holding Jesus and the sheep, and put yourself in the position of the sheep when you are upset, worried or anxious. Imagine Mary taking care of you in those moments.

Pray the Litany of Trust.

As the coronavirus crisis stretches into the Triduum this year, we have a unique opportunity to embrace suffering in union with our Lord. Just as everything was stripped away from Him; many things are being stripped away from us this year. It's time to embrace His suffering and unite ourselves with the Body of Christ.

Key Verses from Sunday Mass Readings

"Even as many were amazed at him
so marred was his look beyond human semblance
and his appearance beyond that of the sons of man
so shall he startle many nations,
because of him kings shall stand speechless;
for those who have not been told shall see,
those who have not heard shall ponder it."

"Son though he was, he learned obedience from what he suffered;
and when he was made perfect,
he became the source of eternal salvation for all who obey him."

"Pilate said to them,
'Take him yourselves and crucify him.
I find no guilt in him.'"

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

Remember that our natural psychology will rebel against suffering. We were not made to suffer; suffering entered the world through original sin. We need the light of faith to illuminate the natural.

Secular psychology doesn't help as much in a situation like COVID-19 because you don't have the theological virtue of hope; you only have optimism. That's not enough; you can't reason your way out of the suffering that's happening now.

Christ illustrates the paradox during His passion. He is the King of Kings and the suffering servant at the same time. We are made in His image and likeness, yet suffering without our sacraments, Mass and easy access to our priests this Holy Week.

Everything from a worldly standpoint failed around Jesus. The trial was a farce. His friends disappeared. The civil and religious systems collapsed for Him. COVID-19 is doing the same for us in 2020. It's stripping away everything from many, including jobs, security, health, and control. We have a unique opportunity to experience Good Friday in our bare humanity this year.

Action Plan for the Week

Remember that Christ first experienced the paradox of being God and the suffering, disfigured servant at the same time. It's our turn now to embrace the current opportunity, in union with the Body of Christ, the Church, on a global scale. 

The uncertainty and disruption of the global pandemic reveals the areas where we need to be perfected and challenges us to make an intentional effort to connect with God.

Key Verses from Sunday Readings

The Lord GOD has given me

a well-trained tongue,

that I might know how to speak to the weary

The Lord GOD is my help,

therefore I am not disgraced;

I have set my face like flint,

knowing that I shall not be put to shame.

My God, my God, why have you abandoned me?

Watch and pray that you may not undergo the test.

The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

The current crisis can trigger unresolved adversity from our childhood and past. Dr. Gerry recalls the stress associated with his father’s job loss from his childhood that are now surfacing in the current pandemic.

Individuals who have lived through other adversity can thrive in the current situation because they have already learned to be resourceful. You can apply that resourcefulness to more intentionally turning to God.

When the whole world seems threatened with the virus, its economic fallout, and its unknown length and affect, we have no choice but to rely on God and His providence. It becomes a stark reminder for many of us who depend on our own efforts on a day-to-day basis.

Most of us are like Peter. We have every intention of following our Lord, but it suddenly gets really hard when we face adversity to truly trust Him.

Stresses like the current pandemic are going to reveal the areas we need to work on to be perfected. We need to work through our range of emotions, lament our brokenness, and surrender to God. Jesus expresses and works through His range of emotions during the Passion in His humanity.

Action Item

Be determined to persevere. Grapple with our emotions during the crisis, express and accept them, and surrender to God. Try to make an empathetic connection with someone in your life who is struggling, perhaps an elderly relative or someone acutely affected by the pandemic, and be Christ to them.

Things that make us afraid or anxious now usually connect to a past perceived life-or-death event. We need to allow Jesus to bring life back into those fearful, numb, “dead” parts of ourselves.

Key Verses from Sunday Readings

“O my people, I will open your graves

and have you rise from them.”

“If the Spirit of the one who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you,

the one who raised Christ from the dead

will give life to your mortal bodies also,

through his Spirit dwelling in you.”

“When Jesus saw her weeping and the Jews who had come with her weeping,

he became perturbed and deeply troubled, and said,

‘Where have you laid him?’

They said to him, ‘Sir, come and see.’

And Jesus wept.

So the Jews said, ‘See how he loved him.’”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

Dr. Peter reflects on his own fear about the current coronavirus crisis and financial fallout and connects it back to being hospitalized alone as a 10-year-old boy. As that child, he learned that fear was dangerous and anger gave him control and power.

Although adaptive responses like anger and control can be useful in some situations, they are not helpful in all. Changing those automatic ways of responding requires insight and prayer.

Many fearful and anxious moments, like people fighting over water or toilet paper, tap into a basic human fear of death and desire for survival.

We all have parts of us that are numb, disconnected, despairing or even dead. Grappling with the causes and turning to our Lord can help us bring those parts back to life.

We all ask, “Why?” Martha and Mary wondered, “Why didn’t Jesus come before Lazarus died?” We ask, “Why is the coronavirus happening? Why did I lose my job? Why did my loved one get sick? Why doesn’t God do something?”  Just like Jesus loved Martha and Mary and wept with them, He is with us, understands our sorrows and struggles, and loves us through them.

Action Item:

God provided the Israelites with manna for the day. When you are fearful, anxious or stressed, stop and ask yourself, “Do I have what I need right now? Am I safe right now?” and then explore what you think you need that you don’t have. Take that to prayer.

Dr. Gerry shares his own journey as a survivor of child abuse, how it formed his own thoughts about himself, and how he eventually found light, love and healing through God as he and Dr. Peter explore this week’s readings.

Key Verses from Sunday Mass Readings

“Not as man sees does God see,
Because man sees the appearance
But the Lord looks into the heart.”

“Even though I walk in the dark valley
I fear no evil for you are at my side.”

“Awake, O sleeper,
Arise from the dead,
And Christ will give you light.”

“‘Rabbi, who sinned, this man or his parents,
That he was born blind?’
Jesus answered,
‘Neither he nor his parents sinned;
It is so that the works of God might be made visible through him.”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

As a victim of abuse, Dr. Gerry shares that, as a child, he always believed he did something wrong to deserve the abuse, just as the Pharisees believed the blind man deserved his blindness due to sin.

For children, it’s too overwhelming to believe your caregivers are abusive or neglectful. Instead, they need to believe they are bad because the perception is they have control. If they can become good enough, they won’t deserve the abuse or neglect anymore and it will stop.

This coping response has significant consequences psychologically. It’s easy to believe you’re outside redemption, suffer from isolation and begin to despair.

It’s hard to go to God when you feel like He’s abandoned you. It’s like a psychological auto-immune disorder: we tend to avoid what we need most.

Jesus touches the blind man’s eyes and then tells him to wash and see. When we allow Jesus to touch us while also doing our part by getting help if needed, we become a soldier of light.

With that healing can come the recognition that greater good can come from bad things that God allowed to happen. 

Action Plan for the Week

* Do an act of kindness for your body this week. That might be taking a relaxing bath, having a massage, getting your nails done, or anything else that appeals to you personally. Recognize God’s love in that activity.

* If you find it difficult to see God’s love in caring for your body, notice that and bring that to prayer or to a therapist to understand why.

When we are disappointed, it’s easy to lose hope in God. Take the time to reconnect with past pains, bring them to Jesus, and allow Him to give us hope again.

Key Verses from Sunday Readings

“In those days, in their thirst for water,
the people grumbled against Moses,
saying, ‘Why did you ever make us leave Egypt?
Was it just to have us die here of thirst
with our children and our livestock?’” 

“And hope does not disappoint,
because the love of God has been poured out into our hearts
through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” 

“Many of the Samaritans of that town began to believe in him

because of the word of the woman who testified,

‘He told me everything I have done.’

When the Samaritans came to him,

they invited him to stay with them;

and he stayed there two days.”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

* Participated in a guided imagery exercise in this week’s show to identify an unresolved hurt or disappointment in your life.

* When we face disappointment or lose a dream, we often immediately blame God as the Israelites did. Although God sometimes asks a lot of us, He never disappoints. His ways are not our ways; God sometimes doesn’t act in the way we want or see best.

* We rely too much on our human perspective and assume we “know” that the cause of our disappointment is rooted somehow in God’s failure or cruelty. We tend to harden our hearts. As humans, we tend to block out those pains and disappointments and move on without dealing with them. We have a natural inclination to not bring those things to God.

* Consider the Samaritan woman and her lost hopes. Jesus comes to her and gives her more than she ever could have hoped for: an encounter with the Messiah. Previously a shunned outcast in our village, she is the one to bring Jesus to others after allowing Jesus to come to her.

Action Items

Participate in this week’s guided imagery exercise. Remember a past hurt or disappointment and visualize its color, form, shape, and details. Recognize that it exists and bring it to Jesus, Mary, Joseph or a favorite saint, or your guardian angel in prayer and tell them about it. Not because they don’t know, but because you don’t know. Ask for help in carrying it, for greater hope, and for the steps needed in healing.

It’s often difficult to believe that God delights in us because, as fallen human beings, we fail to affirm and delight in one another.

Key Verses from Sunday Readings

“I will make of you a great nation,

And I will bless you;

I will make your name great,

So that you will be a blessing.

I will bless those who bless you

And curse those who curse you.”

“He saved us and called us to a holy life,

Not according to our works

But according to His own design

And the grace bestowed on us in Christ Jesus before time began.”

“While He was still speaking, behold,

A bright cloud cast a shadow over them,

Then from the cloud came a voice that said,

‘This is my beloved Son, with who I am well pleased;

Listen to Him.”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

We learn about God the Father through our earthly fathers or father-figures in our lives. If our own fathers were distant, absent or abusive, our understanding of God the Father is often erroneous.

Parents need to delight in their children, not simply provide for their physical needs and tolerate them. They need to cherish and value children for who they are, not what they do.

By blessing and affirming one another with kindness and gentleness, we can spread that blessing, which ultimately comes from God, to those around us.

God is not interested in micromanaging us; if we work to seek His will for our lives, He will delight in us because we are made in His image and likeness. We have much room for creativity in how we do His will.

Jesus, in His humanity, needed to hear His father say, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.” We, in our humanity, need to feel that God delights in us as His beloved son or daughter.

Action Items

Use an image that speaks to you about receiving God’s love. While you’re praying, imagine yourself as a child sitting on God’s lap, having your feet washed by Jesus, swaddled as a baby in St. Joseph’s arms, or any other picture that can help you experience God’s love in a human way.

Bless or affirm someone this week, not for what they do, but for who they are.

Dr. Gerry: Our temptations reveal our true needs.

Dr. Peter: Giving into temptation usually begins with doubting God’s ability to meet our needs.

Key Verses from Sunday Readings

“The serpent asked the woman,
‘Did God really tell you not to eat
from any of the trees in the garden?’”

“God knows well that the moment you eat of it

your eyes will be opened and you will be like gods

who know what is good and what is evil.

The woman saw that the tree was good for food,

pleasing to the eyes, and desirable for gaining wisdom.”

“But the gift is not like the transgression.

For if by the transgression of the one, the many died,
how much more did the grace of God
and the gracious gift of the one man Jesus Christ
overflow for the many.”

“He fasted for forty days and forty nights,
and afterwards he was hungry.
The tempter approached and said to him,
‘If you are the Son of God,
command that these stones become loaves of bread.’”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

• Satan is a real person and tempts us within a relationship. First, the devil tries to introduce doubt as he did with Eve, which attacks faith. Then, we begin to mistrust God, which means we lose hope. Finally, we commit sin that is against love. 
• Behind every sin is often a true, good, legitimate need that is not being met. We turn to sin as a distorted way to meet a real need. Satan tempts us to do so.
• Jesus is a real person, and we see His humanity in his hunger. Satan tries the same tactic, tempting Jesus to use His power in distorted ways in order to satisfy His true and legitimate need for food.
• Unlike Adam and Eve, Jesus repudiates Satan and trusts that the Father will meet His needs. Angels were sent to minister to Him; Jesus gets everything Satan promises, but in the right way, through His Father.
• Catholics often think sin is only about vice, but psychologically, the sin is usually an outward manifestation of an inner pain. 
• For example, young men who struggle with purity often find a greater temptation when they feel closer to God. Why? If they believe that relationship equals fusion, they falsely believe that getting close to God means they will be annihilated. The temptation, then, is a means to survival. 

Action Items

Dr. Peter: Ask in prayer, “In what parts of my life do I doubt God’s love?” Ask where you are hurting.

Dr. Gerry: As you prepare for reconciliation during Lent, identify the real need that is behind each of your recurring sins. That need might be better self-care, connection with others, or the need to be seen. Then think of a way to meet that real need in a healthier way to avoid that sin.

Dr. Gerry: Choose God’s love over human judgment.
Dr. Peter: How does my history with authority figures impact how I see God and the Church?

Key Verses from Sunday Mass Readings

“If you choose you can keep the commandments, they will save you;

if you trust in God, you too shall live …

No one does he command to act unjustly,

to none does he give license to sin.”

We speak a wisdom to those who are mature,

not a wisdom of this age,

nor of the rulers of this age who are passing away.

Rather, we speak God’s wisdom, mysterious, hidden.”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

* Children learn about rules with a carrot-and-stick approach. They do good to receive rewards and to avoid punishment. God calls us to obey with a mature heart. We are called to obey from an act of love.

* Human reason and rationalization will not get us there. It makes no human sense to love our enemies. Instead, we need God to teach us His wisdom to transcend human reason to love as He loves.

* Our culture teaches us to take care of ourselves, which can often snowball into anxiety. It goes against human nature to trust Him completely. Ask God to help us be humble, childlike and trusting to receive His love.

* Our experience with our human parents or others in authority affects whether we believe God is a good parent. If someone was abused by a church official, it’s difficult to separate the evil human act from the love of Christ.

* We often would rather to be happy than holy. Jesus was not always happy. He was angry with the moneychangers in the temple, sad at the death of Lazarus, and anxious in the Garden of Gethsemane. However, he was always at peace.

Action Items:

Dr. Peter: Write down issues you have with authority. By writing them down, you may better be able to understand why you have trouble in your relationship with God.

Dr. Gerry: Notice when you have a human judgment and what is your immediate reaction. Pause and just notice it. You can stop there, or you can further reflect on it. Try to move from human judgment to a spirit of love, stillness and recollection.

Dr. Peter: We despise in others what we don’t tolerate in ourselves.

Dr. Gerry: Stop mislabeling yourself.

Key Verses from Sunday Readings

“Share your bread with the hungry,
shelter the oppressed and the homeless;
clothe the naked when you see them,
and do not turn your back on your own.
Then your light shall break forth like the dawn,
and your wound shall quickly be healed”

“His heart is steadfast; he shall not fear.
Lavishly he gives to the poor;
His justice shall endure forever;
his horn shall be exalted in glory.”

“Jesus said to his disciples:
‘You are the salt of the earth ….

You are the light of the world.’
Nor do they light a lamp and then put it under a bushel basket;
it is set on a lampstand,
where it gives light to all in the house.”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

* Christ says clearly that if we do good deeds, our wounds will be healed. Sometimes reaching out to others helps us get outside of ourselves and does help heal wounds.

* However, we have to remember to start with ourselves. We have to have our own house in order: making sure we are not hungry, naked and homeless from a psychological perspective. It’s hard to help others if we don’t trust that God will take care of us.

* At the same time, we can’t be only attentive to ourselves and our relationship to God. Christ calls us to be that light to the world by our actions.

* We often take one negative belief and generalize it for ourselves and others, which is unhealthy. Often we learn these negative messages early on and suffer from a malformed conscious.

* Look for the perceived benefit in the negative belief. For example, if a parent calls a child an idiot and he calls himself an idiot, that may be the only way he can connect with the parent.

* Christ is calling us out of our shame to be the light of the world.

Action Items

Dr. Gerry: Notice the lie in mislabeling yourself this week. Remind yourself of the truth. Take one small action to demonstrate that truth.

Dr. Peter: Ask God or Mary, “what’s getting in the way of my light shining?” It could be fear or failure to trust God.

Dr. Peter: Emotions are morally neutral, but what we do with emotions can be good or bad.

Dr. Gerry: The path to holiness is through love.

Key Verses from Sunday Readings

"You shall not bear hatred for your brother or sister in your heart.
Though you may have to reprove your fellow citizen,
do not incur sin because of him.
Take no revenge and cherish no grudge against any of your people.
You shall love your neighbor as yourself.
I am the LORD."

“Brothers and sisters:
Do you not know that you are the temple of God,
and that the Spirit of God dwells in you?
If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy that person;
for the temple of God, which you are, is holy.”

"You have heard that it was said,
You shall love your neighbor and hate your enemy.
But I say to you, love your enemies
and pray for those who persecute you.”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

• The readings have a progression from internal to external. God wants us to avoid “bearing hatred in our heart” first before we take action to “love our enemies.”
• When we hold someone else’s faults, criticisms and negativity, we foster hatred in our own hearts. Getting caught up in online criticism of the world and the Church plays on our vanity.
• Practicing “holy indifference” allows us to be responsible for only our own actions and remain detached from others’ actions. It allows our identities to be free and recollected.
• Paying attention to our daydreams can help us diagnose our primary emotion. Do we relive situations looking for the perfect cutting comment? Do we plan out what we’ll do next time that coworker irritates us?
• When you make a self-sacrifice, consider whether you lose your identity or build up your identity to determine if you are being holy or being a doormat. You have to be able to say “no” in order to freely say “yes.”

Action items

Dr. Peter: Think about which emotion dominates you, then try to practice first in your heart how you can love in that situation instead.

Dr. Gerry: Pray for someone in politics or the Church whom you despise.

Dr. Gerry: Take risks, and do not live in fear.
Dr. Peter: We don’t know the thoughts of our hearts.

Key Verses from Sunday Readings

“For he is like the refiner’s fire,
or like the fuller’s lye.
He will sit refining and purifying silver,
and he will purify the sons of Levi,
Refining them like gold or like silver
that they may offer due sacrifice to the LORD.”

“Since the children share in blood and flesh,
Jesus likewise shared in them,
that through death he might destroy the one
who has the power of death, that is, the Devil,
and free those who through fear of death
had been subject to slavery all their life.”

“Behold, this child is destined
for the fall and rise of many in Israel,
and to be a sign that will be contradicted
--and you yourself a sword will pierce--
so that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed.”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

* The heart is the seat of our emotions. We have so many things hidden in our hearts, in our unconscious, that would be helpful to us if they were revealed to us. Mary can help reveal those things to us.

* God gives us Our Lady, the perfect mother, who loves us. She can help us not only spiritually but in emotional and psychological ways, and in ways that our earthly mothers could not.

* Jesus becomes like us to save us. He’s in the trenches with us. He shares our blood and flesh to relate with us. He suffered and was tested so He can help us when we suffer and are tested.

* Death has power to destroy us, but Christ came to destroy death. Often, we don’t really believe and so we live in fear of death and stay enslaved.

* We may understand that Christ conquered death in our minds, but it may not reside in our heart. We need to take a risk, understand possible suffering will follow, and trust He will refine us through the process.

* Dr. Gerry and Dr. Peter share how Souls and Hearts has done this for them personally.

Action Items

Dr. Peter: Ask Mary in prayer, “What do I need to know about my own heart right now?” Keep your eyes and ears open for the answer. It may come in prayer, in a comment from someone else, or in your scripture reading.

Dr. Gerry: Pick one risk you know you need to take, accept there may be discomfort or suffering, and trust God enough to take that risk. It can be small: talking to a new person, applying for a new job, or sharing something you believe in a conversation. Make trust in God greater than your fear.

Dr. Gerry: Letting go of control of others and of the outcome.

Dr. Peter: To really love someone, really listen to them first.

Key Verses from Sunday Mass Readings

"Anguish has taken wing, dispelled is darkness:

for there is no gloom where but now there was distress.
The people who walked in darkness
have seen a great light."

"For the yoke that burdened them,
the pole on their shoulder,
and the rod of their taskmaster
you have smashed, as on the day of Midian."

"I urge you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ,
that all of you agree in what you say,
and that there be no divisions among you,
but that you be united in the same mind and in the same purpose."

"For it has been reported to me about you, my brothers and sisters,
by Chloe’s people, that there are rivalries among you.
I mean that each of you is saying,
“I belong to Paul,” or “I belong to Apollos,”
or “I belong to Cephas,” or “I belong to Christ.”
Is Christ divided?"

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

• God is calling us to all Him to "smash" those things that lead us to darkness. For many of us, that means letting go of those little things that lead us to daily frustrations, that take away our peace. Dr. Gerry shares his personal frustration with people who are late.
•  Remember that there's always some good or reason that's behind those things people do and say that frustrate you. Dr. Peter explores that a frustration with being late may be protecting you from embarrassment. Appreciate the good and purpose, but then make choices that allow you to stay recollected and try not to take it personally.
•  God's call to unity is relevant in our extremely polarized world and Church today. Each faction has a good motive. Listening to those who don't share your perspective doesn't mean you're giving up ideals or truths. Instead, it is a means to understanding and loving them.
•  Dr. Gerry and Dr. Peter share several examples this week. One explores the idea of God as mother. An individual who wants to see God as mother may be trying to equate God with good, but perhaps had a horrible earthly father. Someone arguing by citing scriptural references to God as father will be missing the deeper issue. Listening and loving doesn't mean agreeing with the other's beliefs. 

Action Plan for the Week

Dr. Peter: Ask an open-ended question; one that can't be answered with one word. For example, "What was that like for you?" It shows that you're opened to listening. You'll be surprised at what you hear.

Dr. Gerry: Choose one thing that's an emotional burden or something that's frustrating to you. It can be small like heavy traffic or being late. Choose to let it go, allow God to smash that burden, and accept the peace He's giving you instead. 

Dr. Gerry: Our mental filter prevents us from allowing God to show His glory through us.

Dr. Peter: We don’t know who we are because we don’t know who Jesus is.

Key Verses from Sunday Mass Readings

“The LORD said to me: You are my servant,
Israel, through whom I show my glory.”

“It is too little, the LORD says, for you to be my servant,
to raise up the tribes of Jacob,
and restore the survivors of Israel;
I will make you a light to the nations.”

“I did not know him,
but the one who sent me to baptize with water told me,
‘On whomever you see the Spirit come down and remain,
he is the one who will baptize with the Holy Spirit.’
Now I have seen and testified that he is the Son of God.”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

* If Jesus’ cousin, John the Baptist, says “I did not know Him,” do we really know Christ? If we don't know Jesus, then we can't really know ourselves. Not really understanding who we are is one of the four reasons people seek therapy.

* In our society, our identities are often tied to our jobs, our roles, and what we produce, not that we’re made in the image of God.

* If a woman’s identity is tied to being a mom and her kids grow up and leave, she may wonder who she is and what her purpose is now. If individuals retire from jobs that have defined them, they may not see a reason for their existence.

* Tying our identity to what we do causes distress. Our true identity is developed in relationships with God and others.

* We often have positive or negative mental filters that color everything about the Church, our families, or other aspects of our lives. We tend to pick one thing and dwell on it.

* Jesus comes to “raise and restore.” How can we imitate Him? We need to put our security in Him, not in ourselves. We need to break our mental filters so we can see truth in ourselves and others.

Action Items

Dr. Peter: Go into prayer, and ask Jesus, “Who are You? What do I not understand about You?”

Dr. Gerry: Break a mental filter about your family or the Church, and affirm the goodness and beauty in them instead.

Dr. Gerry: We have to receive in order to give.

Dr. Peter: What we judge most harshly in others is often what we hate about ourselves.

Key Verses from Sunday Mass Readings

“Here is my servant whom I uphold,
my chosen one with whom I am pleased,
upon whom I have put my spirit;
he shall bring forth justice to the nations,
not crying out, not shouting,
not making his voice heard in the street.
a bruised reed he shall not break,
and a smoldering wick he shall not quench.”

“In truth, I see that God shows no partiality.
Rather, in every nation whoever fears him and acts uprightly
is acceptable to him.”

“And a voice came from the heavens, saying,
‘This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.’”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

• When the prophet speaks of a “bruised reed” in this week’s first reading, he’s talking about us. Often, we may feel discarded if we are not “useful” as a bruised reed is no longer useful. However, Jesus comes to us in gentleness, welcoming us in our brokenness.
• Sometimes we reject ourselves, or reject others, because of imperfections. Jesus’ message is counter to that human tendency. He seeks the wounded.
• When we see something we don’t like in someone else, it’s often really something we hate in ourselves. Dr. Peter shares a personal example of hating weakness because of a wrong belief that he had to do everything himself. He recognized is as a survival instinct but also accepted his dependence on God.
• Jesus shows us the way through His baptism. God says, “you are my beloved Son,” before Jesus ever does anything in his public ministry. God loves Jesus for Who He is, not what He does.
• God puts His spirit in us. We have to be prepared to receive it first before we can give.

Action Plan for the Week

Dr. Peter: Look at who you judge and what you judge them for. Write down what you don’t like. See if you can embrace that in yourself and recognize some good it has brought you.

Dr. Gerry: Affirm someone today. Tell them a truth about who they are, not what they’ve done. Notice how they respond.

Dr. Gerry: You can celebrate and choose to be grateful.

Dr. Peter: Where are we are seeing Jesus? More importantly, where are we not seeing Jesus?

Key Verses from Sunday Mass Readings

“It was not made known to people in other generations
as it has now been revealed
to his holy apostles and prophets by the Spirit:
that the Gentiles are coheirs, members of the same body,
and copartners in the promise in Christ Jesus through the gospel.”

“Lord, every nation on earth will adore you.”

“Where is the newborn king of the Jews?
We saw his star at its rising
and have come to do him homage.”

“They were overjoyed at seeing the star,
and on entering the house
they saw the child with Mary his mother.
They prostrated themselves and did him homage."

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

• Recognize that God calls the whole world to Him through this feast.
• The Magi who were not Jewish saw the star and went looking for Jesus. How many other people were nearby and failed to see the same star? Why do some people see while others do not, even when they look at the same situation?
• God gives us things to see every day. Do we see the star? Do we recognize Him?
• Many things blind us. We all have prejudices that keep us from seeing Jesus and recognizing the gifts He sends us.
• During the holidays, we can be blinded by all the details. Although it’s sometimes hard to feel joy, we can choose to be grateful.
• It’s important to look back and be thankful for 2019 and acknowledge mistakes, and then look forward to see what we can do better and where we can get support.

Action Item

Dr. Peter: Look at Our Lord in prayer. Ask the question, “Where am I not seeing you, Jesus?” Listen for the answer. If you don’t hear right away, keep asking in prayer or ask your confessor.

Dr. Gerry: Thank one person for simply being in your life.

Dr. Gerry: You can make a positive change in your family system.

Dr. Peter: Take a step-by-step approach to living out the virtues.

Key Verses from Sunday Mass Readings

“God sets a father in honor over his children;
a mother's authority he confirms over her sons.
Whoever honors his father atones for sins,
and preserves himself from them.”

“Put on, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved,
heartfelt compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.”

“Wives, be subordinate to your husbands,
as is proper in the Lord.
Husbands, love your wives,
and avoid any bitterness toward them.”

“Rise, take the child and his mother and go to the land of Israel,
for those who sought the child's life are dead.
He rose, took the child and his mother,
and went to the land of Israel.”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

• God calls us to the Holy Family’s level of perfection but doesn’t discount how difficult that might be within broken family systems.
• Subordination of wives to husbands is often a difficult verse within traditional Catholic marriages. Although final authority is needed, husbands are also called to love their wives as Christ loves His Church
• A husband must not simply excise his desires and authority but put his wife’s interests above his own as Joseph protects Mary and Jesus. Mary is joyfully obedient because she knows Joseph loves her and is looking out for her and Baby Jesus first.
• We need to proactively make changes within our family systems to move toward the perfection and virtues God wants for us.

Action Item

Pick on virtue from the second reading and do one proactive thing daily to live that virtue. Don’t simply react to the events of the day. Then, watch to see the ripple effect in your family system.

Schedule and prioritize 20 minutes every day to sit and talk with your spouse. Consider doing “snippets” with children. Set aside 5-10 minutes for each child daily to give them your full attention in a game, story or conversation.

Dr. Gerry: We need to let go of self-sufficiency to experience belonging and receive God’s help.

Dr. Peter: We need to identify the obstacles that keep us from being psychological ready to obey God.

Key Verses from Sunday Mass Readings

“The LORD spoke to Ahaz, saying:
Ask for a sign from the LORD, your God;
let it be deep as the netherworld, or high as the sky!
But Ahaz answered,
"I will not ask! I will not tempt the LORD!"”

“Through him we have received the grace of apostleship,
to bring about the obedience of faith,
for the sake of his name, among all the Gentiles,
among whom are you also, who are called to belong to Jesus Christ;
to all the beloved of God in Rome, called to be holy.”

“When Joseph awoke,
he did as the angel of the Lord had commanded him.”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

•  We are called to belong to Jesus Christ, but we often rely on ourselves and the world to do it alone.
• An inordinate level of self-sufficiency leads to isolation from God and others.
• God speaks directly to both Ahaz and Joseph this week. Ahaz puts his trust in the Assyrians, not in God. In contrast, Joseph obeys immediately.
• Why? Joseph was psychologically and spiritually ready when God called him.
• Look at all the Christmas decorations and see them as signs of Our Lord’s coming.

Action Items:

Recognize the negative effects of self-sufficiency.

Open yourself to God and others in the spirit of hope.

See the signs of Jesus’ coming in all the Christmas decorations and activities.

Go in front of the Blessed Sacrament and ask: “What is getting in the way of me being psychological ready to obey you, Lord?” Don’t figure it out on your own. Listen for that answer; it might come right away or later. Be open to that answer.

Dr. Gerry: We store trauma and wounds in our bodies, and Christ brings healing during Advent.

Dr. Peter: We need to identify our psychological blindness, know ourselves better, and then work to change.

Key Verses from Sunday Mass Readings

“Strengthen the hands that are feeble,
make firm the knees that are weak,
say to those whose hearts are frightened:
Be strong, fear not!”

“Then will the eyes of the blind be opened,
the ears of the deaf be cleared;
then will the lame leap like a stag,
then the tongue of the mute will sing.”

“Make your hearts firm,
because the coming of the Lord is at hand.”

“Amen, I say to you,
among those born of women
there has been none greater than John the Baptist;
yet the least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he."

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

• Realize we all have blind spots and that it’s human to hide from ourselves and not want to see them. These blind spots are consequences of the Fall and original sin.
• Be humble and ask others to tell you what you’re not seeing. The most important thing is to seek. Asking loved ones to help you may allow God to work through them to answer you.
• We cannot overcome psychological lameness by sheer force of the will. We need to prepare ourselves and achieve better readiness.
• Understand the “order of operations” in dealing with good and bad emotions. First, attend to body; then to the emotions. This will eventually reveal cognitions.
• Use your body, breathing and prayer to reduce unwarranted fear and anxiety.

Action Item

Ask a loved one to help you find your blind spots. Ask the person to pray and reflect about what you’re not seeing or hearing in your life. Work to tolerate that vulnerability, and be open to how God might be talking to you through this individual.

When you experience good and bad feelings this week, focus on where you feel that emotion in your body. Make a note of those physical feelings to help you gain body awareness.

Dr. Gerry: Empathy includes listening before reacting.

Dr. Peter: Sin is whatever harms relationships.

Key Verses from Sunday Mass Readings

“Then the wolf shall be a guest of the lamb,
and the leopard shall lie down with the kid …
The baby shall play by the cobra's den,
and the child lay his hand on the adder's lair.”

“May the God of endurance and encouragement
grant you to think in harmony with one another.”

“When he saw many of the Pharisees and Sadducees
coming to his baptism, he said to them, "You brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the coming wrath?
Produce good fruit as evidence of your repentance.”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

• Existing family systems are often hostile and resemble the natural discourse between predator and prey. God’s vision and hope is peace and harmony. How do we get there?
• We also have this conflict between parts within ourselves, the part that cuts us down or the small part that’s afraid.
• Five steps to developing mutual empathy: anticipate the other’s feelings, be open to influence, be curious, experience vulnerability, and abandon trying to have power over the another.
• John the Baptist’s harsh warning is an expression of love for the Pharisees.
• Sin is not just about breaking the rules but about severing relationships.

Action Item

Take your list of attachments from last week and write down how they negatively affect relationships.

Pick an important relationship and practice the five steps to mutual empathy.

Write down the successes you’ve achieved.

Dr. Gerry: People who believe they can change will change.
Dr. Peter: Let go of those bright, shiny objects in your life.

Key Verses from Sunday Mass Readings

“Come, let us climb the LORD's mountain,
to the house of the God of Jacob,
that he may instruct us in his ways.”

“It is the hour now for you to awake from sleep ....
Let us then throw off the works of darkness
and put on the armor of light.”

“Therefore, stay awake!”

Where Catholicism Meets Psychology

•  Readings call us to grow closer to God this Advent.
• Part of God’s instruction is a better understanding of the human person.
• We need to let go of our psychological baggage before we can climb the mountain.

Action Items

Pray and reflect about your attachments.

Write down what weighs you down and keeps you from climbing God’s mountain.

Do a cost/benefit analysis. What will happen if I change? What will happen if I don’t change?

Think about what your attachment represents and what need it fulfills.

Select a healthier, holier way to fulfill that need.