Psst Hey kid, you an elbow vegan? Well don't worry any longer, because starting today, we have a solution for you! It's BeyondWenus. Tastes just like real wenus, but made entirely from discarded Baywatch plot points

Morgan's Rating: 4
Michael's Rating: 4

Episode discussion starts @14:06. Post-episode discussion starts @01:14:38.

Assorted show notes:

@06:32 Michael forgot he made a movie in college too. That brings the count up to 4.

@12:55 A Geocities interview with Jacqueline Collen.

@24:32 Please do not Google "Sonic Inflation" on a work computer.

@36:40 The Dahir Insaat Earthquake Bed.

@01:26:40 Peacock's Insane Christmas Movies.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Well I suppose it's time we finally tell you. Michael and Morgan are actually the same person. In case you haven't figured it out, Morgan is obviously the horny twin and Michael is the research twin.

Eric's Rating: 6
Morgan's Rating: 7
Michael's Rating: 7

Episode discussion starts @24:13. Post-episode discussion starts @01:28:11.

Assorted show notes:

@48:09 A reminder of what the octopus looked like

@01:34:52 The Oreo burger

@01:35:22 The banana pizza

@01:36:01 Eric says that they don't eat the cannibal sandwich in Wisconsin but this twitter account begs to differ

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

If there's horny ghosts, in your neighborhood. Who you gonna call? Baywatchers!

Parker's Rating: 1.5
Morgan's Rating: 2
Michael's Rating: 2

Episode discussion starts @06:47. Post-episode discussion starts @01:09:56.

Assorted show notes:

@01:17:03 The tweet in question

@01:17:25 The recorded follow-up to that tweet

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Beef boys! Exciting news! We're hosting our first Baywatch Rookie School Con at the Coronado del Soul. In order to register, you just need to become a ghost and buy tickets from the spooooooky gift shop. Don't worry, this gift shop does have an exit

Parker's Rating: 4
Morgan's Rating: 5
Michael's Rating: 6

Episode discussion starts @27:11. Post-episode discussion starts @01:36:04.

Assorted show notes:

@49:53 Said montage.

@50:51 Here is the debut. As well, here is the peak.

@01:11:03 Morgan's choice.

@01:11:27 Parker's choice.

@01:12:05 Michael's choice.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

It's the end of Ben! We are not sad to see him go, even if this is a particularly bad sign off. Come and join us on the beach for a reunion of the Red Knights (or more like the Red Tights amirite???). Also Morgan finally gets a Godfather.

Morgan's Rating: 5
Michael's Rating: 2.5

Episode discussion starts @22:49. Post-episode discussion starts @01:15:40.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

We're back! Morgan's back from vacation, so we're recording the episodes we don't have any guests for. Baywatch is hitting it's stride in Season 4, which means they've stopped writing interesting episodes and are just recycling their formulas

Morgan's Rating: 3
Michael's Rating: 4

Episode discussion starts @18:39. Post-episode discussion starts @01:15:18.

Assorted show notes:

@22:55 Hasslehoff Devouring His Cheeseburger by Goya

@23:48 Stills from Baywatch the Animated Series (if only it existed)

@33:44 Conversion rates for 1993

@01:08:11 Robert Kardashian's Cream of Wheat

@01:09:22 Lauren Conrad's Tequila Shot

@01:09:48 The Nicole Brown Simpson Chicken Nachos

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

It's time for a Very Special Episode starring a young Republican gymnast. Baywatch doesn't completely bungle depicting the Special Olympics, so that's nice. They didn't do a good job, but it's not as bad as we feared

Jon's Rating: 9
Michael's Rating: 7
Morgan's Rating: 3

Check out Jon's portfolio at: https://kawaiiguy.com/ and watch their Twitch streams at: https://www.twitch.tv/kawaiiguy.

Episode discussion starts @29:49. Post-episode discussion starts @01:32:23.

Assorted show notes:

@26:20 The Michael Phelps meal

@31:01 The fakest rock ever

@37:18 Hobie's tribute to vegetables

@45:35 The Garfield Pizza as well as a picture of Garfield Eats

@46:07: The founder of Garfield Eats

@47:44 More pics from Jon related to Garfield Eats

@54:17 The music from the original montage set to the video from the remaster

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Baywatch is back on it's racist shit, so that's fun. Homecoming is also back, that's actually fun! We talk about graffiti and introduce a new segment, our Pier Review

Homecoming's Rating: 0.5
Michael's Rating: 1
Morgan's Rating: 1.5

Episode discussion begins @22:34. Post-episode discussion begins @01:56:41.

Assorted Show Notes:

@01:05:37 The album Michael is referring to.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

In a shockingly horny episode of the podcast, we spend far too much time (and also not nearly enough time) talking about old Nickelodeon Game Shows. #ReleaseTheSnyderCutOfBaywatch #PleaseDontActuallyDoThat #IDontWantSynderFansOnMyCase #NumberOneCheerWorthyMoment.

Michael is drunk this episode. Please ignore how while he is drunk, he pounds the table a lot. Or just accept it. We're not your dad.

Tristan's Rating: 3
Michael's Rating: 6
Morgan's Rating: 4

Episode discussion starts @30:39. Post-episode discussion starts @01:44:38.

Assorted show notes:

@04:40 I am suspicious this is not Chip Hipkins

@20:40 The Playboy cover that got this police officer fired from the NYPD

@25:06 15 questions with Yasser Arafat

@32:20 The Pam Anderson mixtape

@01:18:43 The situation Mitch is in that Morgan is describing

@01:35:36 This is the remastered montage with the music from the original airing

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Well, this is a heavy one, so it's a little hard to write a good joke description. Mitch deals with PTSD after almost failing to save a kid and we try to find ways to talk about it while making the show still listenable. How did we do? You tell us

Morgan's Rating: 7
Michael's Rating: 8

Episode discussion starts @21:58. Post-episode discussion starts @01:13:09.

Assorted Show Notes:

@01:22:35 Picture Michael is referring to about Sweden

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Well in theory this is a part 2, but let's be honest. It's not. The only thing that connects these episodes is the return of Helen! You gotta know when to Holden, you gotta know when to float 'em (the answer is don't float them because that's how you get the bends)

Helen's Rating: 4
Michael's Rating: 5
Michael's Racoon Rating: 1
Morgan's Rating: 4

Find Helen at the Falling in Love Montage Podcast
Helen's Twitter: @helenherbstl

Episode discussion starts @12:10. Post-episode discussion starts @01:12:40.

Assorted show notes:

@14:57 The album art for the Sun 60 album this is from

@17:45 You're Gone by Samantha Ryan

@52:55 Okay so maybe not a kid but he does look weird

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Remember kids, never get a Goku cake, never get someone a book for their birthday, never go surfing without a leash, and definitely never try to cure your bulimia by almost getting eaten by an octopus.

Why doesn't Star Wars have octopus aliens? 8 arms 8 lightsabers George Lucas call us.

Helen's Rating: 5
Morgan's Rating: 6
Michael's Rating: 6

Find Helen at the Falling in Love Montage Podcast
Helen's Twitter: @helenherbstl

Episode discussion begins @11:04. Post-episode discussion begins @01:23:30.

Assorted Show Notes:

@28:46 This is shot that made Helen and Michael burst out in laughter

@29:02 Here's a shot of the octopus's face

@29:10 The trifecta of octopus shots

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

This episode is just so full of hot air. Hot air balloons that is! Well, just one balloon, but it's in here like a lot.

Sparkle's Rating: 5
Michael's Rating: 5
Morgan's Rating: 6

Episode discussion starts @16:25. Post-episode discussion starts @01:47:00.

Assorted show notes:

@54:45 Telly Savalas beach photos 1, 2, and 3

@01:35:45 Bill Pickett picture

@01:43:24 VENGEANCE THE SHARK

@01:51:28 The Nathan Fielder related tweet

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Oops all Pelicans. Have you pet a pelican recently? Some of them are cops and we don't endorse those birds. Fuck those birds. Like Zeus would.

Reeves's Rating: 1.5
Michael's Rating: 4
Morgan's Rating: 4

Please check out Reeves at KEXP.org!

Episode discussions starts @33:06. Post-episode discussion starts @01:57:18.

Assorted show notes:

@16:44 Pictures of Giant Gonzalez's suit, #1 and #2

@23:14 Dave Meltzer's horrifying room

@33:35 Michael forgot to record it but luckily he pretty much perfectly replicated his voice in his impression

@47:39 Here is the video of Fraiser as The National Morgan was looking for

@59:00 Okay so not on every action but there's a decent amount of farting!

@01:17:30 Here is the shirt on Etsy. But here is where you can actually buy it

@01:19:09 Morgan no

@01:23:05 "I'm gonna murder this child"

@02:02:29 The Garfield cup drama

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose. 

In this very special episode, Michael and Morgan have been taken out of commission by a purple jellyfish, so we have to bring in some help to continue on with our mission.

Stay tuned for our upcoming Disney+ Deal.

Robert's rating: 6
Valerie's rating: 2
Jami's rating: 6

Episode discussion starts @7:22. Post-episode discussion starts @36:01.

Assorted show notes:

@00:51 We're being held against our will. Send help

@12:40 This scene is reused from season 2 episode 11 "If Looks Could Kill"

@24:24 As much as we would like to skool these NEWBS, they are correct that CJ and Mitch have not dated previously. Good job guest hosts!

@37:07 Michael and Morgan do not condone slander of Hobie 2

@42:52 Michael and Morgan do not condone promotion of the band U2

@44:56 We're being held against our will. Send help

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Baywatch is the Koo-Koo-Kookiest
Baywatch is the Ki-Ki-Kickiest
Baywatch is the Groo-Groo-Grooviest
Baywatch is the living end, friend

Join our watch along of Lidsville episode 1 here!

Morgan's Rating: 2
Michael's Rating: 2
Morgan's Lidsville Rating: 9
Michael's Lidsville Rating: 9

Episode discussion starts @03:14. Post-episode discussion starts @29:57. Lidsville episode discussion starts @46:06. Post-Lidsville discussion starts @01:13:34.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Morgan's Rating: 6.5
Michael's Rating: 7

Episode discussion starts @21:00. Post-episode discussion starts @01:28:52.

Assorted show notes:

@59:39 Iconic Thomas brand English Muffins

@01:00:33 KAPSALON

@01:16:32 Andrew said it checks out

@01:35:02 You'll have to see the tweet to truly appreciate it

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

We both recommend that you watch Pam and Tommy if you like our podcast and want more info about Pam Anderson. Also if you don't like our podcast, why have you listened this far?

Morgan's Rating: 5
Michael's Rating: 5

Episode discussion starts @15:54. Post-episode discussion starts @01:28:26.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Paul's Rating: 8
Michael's Rating: 8
Morgan's Rating: 4

Episode discussion starts @24:31. Post-episode discussion starts @01:30:34.

Assorted show notes:

@22:41 If you like hearing about the history of mixed martial arts, this video by Secret Base is a fantastic watch

@46:45 We forgot to mention that Pam Anderson is Canadian so it's all sorts of geopolitically confusing

@54:47 Please worry for Michael

@01:21:57 Here is the Pastamania menu, BROTHER

@01:22:50 Hulk Hogan shaped pasta, BROTHER

@01:25:35 A pasta sandwich. As well, here is an assorted album of other spaghetti pics

@01:27:11 Paul claims this is a meatball sub. He's not seeing the bigger picture

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

This is a Milpo Sclint stan podcast #JusticeForMilpo.

Reeves' Rating: 11/3
Michael's Rating: 8/3
Morgan's Rating: 4

See Reeves' KEXP profile, along with his socials, here!

Episode discussion starts @12:11. Post-episode discussion starts @01:51:27.

@08:33 An extremely cursed image

@19:20 The Google ad for searching Candy Corn

@20:15 A tweet that captures Morgan's heart

@53:10 Please view the visage of this man

@53:44 An album of Milpo

@54:24 "No more shitposting or schizoposting, time for Sclintposting. Post this image to instantly sclintpill yourself"

@54:34 "everybody loves to powerscale anime characters but i dont see anyone talking about if milpo sclint would have survived on the eastern front"

@1:40:19 "What about this picture?" Michael says he had to pick between that and: this one

@01:48:28 A screenshot of Mitch's party

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Reeves' Rating: 2
Michael's Rating: 3
Morgan's Rating: 3

Episode discussion starts @35:06. Post-episode discussion starts @2:09:12.

Assorted Show Notes:

@01:15:56 Here is the picture of the senior home and the belly dancer

@01:16:28 Morgan's horrifying picture

@01:17:05 The terrifying hallway

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

On this episode we ask the all important question, who directs the directors? Join us for our sendoff of Guido. We will never forget the iduido of you.

As well, we disprove a previous statement made on this podcast that there "is no Baywatch hentai". Jon found it for us.

Morgan's Rating: 7
Michael's Rating: 7
Jon's Rating: 8

Check out Jon's portfolio at: https://kawaiiguy.com/ and watch their Twitch streams at: https://www.twitch.tv/kawaiiguy.

Episode discussion starts @29:05. Post-episode discussion starts @01:47:27.

Assorted show notes:

@14:00 The picture of Darin Heams shared with Jon

@1:02:38 Here is the article that Jon is reading from regarding Hasslehoff's chicken legs

@01:24:38 Here is "The Guido Face"

@01:56:33 I present to you Baywatch Hentai. Image #1. Image #2. Image #3.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

This is the buried secret of Baywatch. In our most M. Night Shyamalan episode, we talk about the right amount of ham for a Baywatch episode.

Did you know how many surf terms could be a euphemism for sex? We try to figure out the answer to this age old question.

Who guards the lifeguard's life when the lifguard's life needs guarding? Hmmm?

Morgan's Rating: 9
Michael's Rating: 3

Episode discussion starts @06:54. Post-episode discussion starts @59:23.

Assorted show notes:

@37:16 The image Michael is looking for is the artwork for this episode!

@41:15 I highly encourage you to go on your own Google Image search for this because you'll find some pretty great stuff

@41:51 https://www.cinemablend.com/superheroes/batman/someone-added-jim-carreys-riddler-to-the-batman-trailer-and-i-cant-look-away

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

We're back! It's our first time having a guest return for part 2 and it's a delight. We talk about the dangers of gambling and how badly the 90s handled the concept of addiction.
Also if anyone has a hookup on a thermos of Sweet and Sour sauce, tweet at us

Episode discussion starts at 20:00
Post episode discussion starts at 1:22:10

Val: 8
Morgan: 2
Michael: 3.5

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Valerie's Rating: 7
Michael's Rating: 3
Morgan's Rating: 3

Episode discussion starts @30:01. Post-episode discussion starts @ 01:40:07.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

If you want to see Michael's attempt at flipping text, click here https://prnt.sc/26cbl5g

Morgan's Rating: 4
Michael's Rating: 5

Episode discussion starts @11:13. Post-episode discussion starts @19:57.

Assorted show notes:

@02:55 The first ugly Christmas sweater Michael found

@03:51 The second ugly Christmas sweater Michael found

@45:31 Please refer to Michael's attempt at flipping text above

@55:29 See-Saw Love

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Morgan's Rating: 1
Michael's Rating: 1

Episode discussion starts @11:59. Post-episode discussion starts @54:38.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Episode discussion begins @9:58
Episode discussion ends @1:11:13

Morgan's Rating: 8
Michael's Rating: 8

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Morgan's Rating: 6
Michael's Rating: 4

Episode discussion starts @14:27. Post-episode discussion starts @01:09:44.

Assorted show notes:

@13:50 Here is the poster for Return of the Roller Blade Seven.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

We're bringing you the premium 90s nightclub experience this episode. Loud music, plastic ferns, and combination fast food restaurants.

Morgan's Rating: 2
Michael's Rating: 2

Episode discussions starts @10:36. Post-episode discussion starts @01:20:25.

Assorted show notes:

@1:03:50 This video covers the entire history of The Slipnutz.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Homecoming's Rating: 4
Morgan's Rating: 8
Michael's Rating: 7

Check out Homecoming on his theater podcast the BrodwayBesties.
As well, see Homecoming's written works on his blog.
And Homecoming has a video game podcast as well!

Episode discussion starts @24:00. Post-episode discussion starts @01:45:10.

@01:08:10 Hulk Hogan has to admit in court he does not have a 10 inch penis.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Better watch out Beef Boys! Jake and the Fatman is back! This episode sounds so good because we got a new CPU (ChiPotle cinematic Universe). We expand on our most famous prank (HubHub) and Michael learns an important lesson.

Helen's Rating: 3
Morgan's Rating: 7
Michael's Rating: 7

Helen's Falling in Love Montage Podcast
Helen's Twitter: @helenherbstl

Episode discussion starts @23:02. Post-episode discussion starts @01:37:55.

Assorted show notes:

@16:33 Michael and Morgan basically had this exact same conversation again on 11/28 in person, forgetting that they had already had this conversation before.

@36:57 Michael is referring to "The Texas-Jerusalem Crossroads" by Lift to Experience.

@43:02 This is reference to the comic strip "Cathy" where the main character Cathy frequently says "Ack Ack Ack".

@46:56 You may remember that the feud between Michael and Morgan's mom started when Michael mixed up West Side Story and Grease. It has since turned into a blood feud.

@49:35 This is a picture of one of Morgan's cans of Flamin' Hot Mtn Dew.

@01:07:11 Dear past Michael: I tried but could not find any without going through some dangerous sections of DeviantArt.

@01:20:40 This is the Bjork Clown.

@01:28:28 Click here to learn more about the Scania flag!

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Morgan's Rating: 3
Michael's Rating: 3

Episode discussion starts @14:19. Post-episode discussion starts @01:06:31.

@55:39 Like I'm walking on sunshine.

@01:14:37 The tweet referencing the "25 hour day".

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Sparkle's Rating: 4
Morgan's Rating: 6
Michael's Rating: 5

Find Sparkle's Podcast Sunday School Cinema here.

Episode discussion starts @12:23. Post-episode discussion starts @01:52:03.

@45:29 The mystery kitchen appliance. Here is what it ends up being: https://www.rcvintage.com/?name=HARVEST-YELLOW-STOVE&product=1030444097.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Morgan's Rating: 5
Michael's Rating: 6

Episode discussion starts @17:17. Post-episode discussion starts @01:16:56.

Assorted show notes:

@00:00 Note that for this episode there will be a lot of images referenced. An album has been made of these imagines in order of when they are referenced in the episode. Enjoy these horrible images!

@20:19 Here is Bert Kreischer's The Machine bit.

@36:17 Michael does not know what eminent domain means.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Morgan's rating: 8
Michael's rating: 8

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Morgan's Episode Rating: 5
Michael's Episode Rating: 4 (Secretly a 5) --- Yo Wtf Morgan? - Michael
Morgan's Two Parter Rating: 6
Michael's Two Parter Rating: 6

Episode discussion starts @17:20. Post-episode discussion starts @01:01:30 .

Additional show notes:

@01:11:30 Article on Bishop Sycamore.

@01:17:39 A disgusting looking soup.

@01:20:28 A better looking soup.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

I'm not sure why, but Morgan's audio has a bit of a hum to it this episode. Sorry about that.

Morgan's Rating: 7
Michael's Rating: 8

Episode discussion starts @31:27. Post-episode discussion starts @01:36:19.

Assorted show notes:

@4:32 The interview with David Hasslehoff in Men's Health

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Morgan's Rating: 2
Michael's Rating: 2

Morgan's Season Rating: 3
Michael's Season Rating: 4

Episode discussion starts @22:00. Post-episode discussion starts @01:16:28.

Assorted show notes:

@3:32 Fred Durst's new look

@17:39 Neglected Characters early 2000s webcomic. And, here is the second one.

Ar:t by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

John's Rating: 5
Morgan's Rating: 6
Michael's Rating: 5

Episode discussion starts @19:31. Post-episode discussion starts @01:35:57.

Assorted show notes:

@16:24 The image Morgan is referring to.

@45:45 Here is the first horrible image (that Michael sent to Morgan) that Morgan posts

@46:27 This is the second image

@47:27 And the last horrible Cool Cat image

@1:23:18 A look at future Vito courtesy of John

@1:34:15 A very dated picture

@01:46:21 THIS IS KORFBALL

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose

Featuring, yet again, The Drop King himself Robert Persinger!

Robert's Rating: 5
Michael's Rating: 2
Morgan's Rating: 7

Episode discussion starts @14:52. Post-episode discussion starts @01:25:10.

Assorted show notes:

@33:22 It was not a two parter. In fact, it is the very next episode!

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

To find Reeves, you can check him out on KEXP! https://www.kexp.org/djs/reeves/.

Morgan's Rating: 5
Michael's Rating: 5.4
Reeve's Rating: 3.9/3.1

Episode discussion starts @13:42. Post-episode discussion starts @01:57:43.

Additional show notes:

@01:34:57 Here is a link to the Baywatch original television soundtrack on Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5UhB5rW4Msew0zxfBHuQqO?si=0034e11713134e88.

@01:44:37 This is the Ebay link Morgan is referring to.

@01:46:06 Michael was wrong! There is going to be a Dark Side of Baywatch airing on August 19th on Vice.

@02:06:14 You are hearing the tail end of a conversation that we had out of podcast where I asked for that one line to be inserted.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

No, we will not post links to Sonic Hyperinflation in the show notes.

Check out Ali's podcast at: https://whathappened.show/

Morgan's rating: 6
Michael's rating: 7
Ali's rating: 7

Episode discussion starts @10:29. Post episode discussion starts @01:57:54.

Assorted show notes:

@29:33 Here is a picture of the insides of a waverunner.

@01:30:26 If you've never seen the My Brand/Look With Your Special Eyes commercial, now is your chance. Additionally, here is the follow-up.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Michael's Rating: 2
Morgan's Rating: 2
Morgan's Rating: 8
Michael's Rating: 8

Episode discussions starts @8:39. Post-episode discussion starts @25:39.
Part 2 discussion starts @32:49. Post-episode discussion starts @1:36:47.

You watch the content of our part 2 of the episode here!

Assorted show notes:

@48:29 We decided it was funnier to present a stupid idea, say we'll do it, and then not actually do it. You can listen to the theme song if you watch the episode!

@55:18 Here is the South Park clip in question.

@1:43:17 Michael got it wrong. It's The Arrogant Sons of Bitches.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Ratings don't matter for this episode nor do time stamps because Michael would like to not remember this episode of Baywatch (Morgan and Em disagree).

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Episode discussion starts @06:43. Post-episode discussion starts @01:30:20.

Assorted show notes:

@33:24 The Ben Shapiro Aquaman clip.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

We have decided that every 30 years, we'll have a big podcast episode in honor of Big Monday. There will be two of these and then we will be dead. But they'll be really great episodes (to be determined)! 

Morgan's Rating: 4
Michael's Rating: 5

Episode discussion starts @16:29. Post-episode discussion starts @1:28:00.

Assorted show notes:

@31:25 Is it chicken or is it fish? I know it's fish but is it chicken?

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Jami's Rating: 9
Michael's Rating: 10
Morgan's Rating: 11

Episode discussion starts @11:30. Post-episode discussion starts @01:45:08.

Assorted show notes:

@01:06:03 The image Morgan is referring to is the picture for this episode. Enjoy

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Morgan's Rating: 5
Michael's Rating: 7
Sandcrab722's Rating: 9

Episode discussion starts @13:20. Post-episode discussion starts @01:22:17.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

We do apologize for some bumpy noises coming from Michael's mic. That is getting fixed very soon!

Morgan's Rating: 7
Helen's Rating: 6
Michael's Rating: 7

Helen's Falling in Love Montage Podcast
Helen's Twitter: @helenherbstl

Episode discussion starts at @09:54. Post-episode discussion starts @01:29:29.

Assorted show notes:

@01:52 Here are the said rare photos of Joseph Pilates.

@01:07:16 Here is the image Michael is referring to.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Morgan's Rating: 2
Michael's Rating: 3

Episode discussion starts @11:25. Post-episode discussion starts @01:22:16.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Morgan's rating: 2
Michael's rating: 4

Episode discussion starts @14:05. Post-episode discussion starts @01:23:55.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Morgan's Rating: 3
Valerie's Rating: 6
Michael's Rating: 3

Episode discussion starts @09:24. Post-episode discussion starts @01:26:23.

Assorted show notes:

@17:35 A picture of Success Rice.

@46:05 Michael is referring to the dog pictures on this page for Alpo products.

@57:46 There all is aching.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Michael's Rating: 0
Morgan's Rating: 0
Sandcrab277's Rating: 1

Episode discussion starts @23:33. Post-episode discussion starts @01:41:57.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Morgan's rating: 1
Michael's rating: 0

Episode discussion starts @09:03. Post-episode discussion starts @01:17:53.

Assorted show notes:

@36:50 Here is one of the Pat Cashman Taco Time commercials. Also, Pat Cashman was on Almost Live and here is a classic sketch from him. Moreover, in a serendipitous moment, we found audio from the Hoyle Card game Michael referenced.

@46:31 Michael was very wrong. In fact, the man lost half an entire hand from catching an axe (which Michael was correct about) but, he was king of the Iron Islands and his name was Harras Hoare (here's his wiki page).

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Hey, it's almost Summer. Don't you want to start dating someone this summer? Now that the vaccine is widely available, don't you miss human contact? Well if so, tweet at us @RookieSchoolPod and we'll act as a match maker and send you a free LoveSync button!

Morgan's rating: 4
Michael's rating: 4
Jami's rating: 5

Episode discussion starts @14:47. Post-episode discussion starts @01:53:30.

Assorted show notes:

@17:24 Here's the Apple Powerbook. It's the precursor to the MacBook Pro!

@19:40 But future Michael has! $20 in 1991 is $38.97 in 2021. Thus Mitch, assuming he gets paid salary to work 40 hours a week, makes $74,822.40, before tax, in 2021.

@01:41:33 Here is the clip (Michael embellished as usual). In fact, he eats cereal with no milk! Just like Jami!

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Morgan's Rating: 6
Michael's Rating: 5

Episode discussion starts @07:40. Post-episode discussion starts @01:24:32.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Sandcrab277 Rating: 1
Morgan's Rating of Sandcrab277's Rating: 1
Michael's Rating: 3
Morgan's Rating: 2

Episode discussion starts @10:09. Post-episode starts @01:10:48.

Assorted show notes:

@04:48 I present to you the IMDB page for Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2.

@42:16 Some research shows that "A Busman's Holiday" is a "Vacation or form of recreation that involves doing the same thing that one does at work". Apparently its called that because back in the day, buses were horse driven. If a busman wanted to go on vacation, he would take the bus still, thus not having much of a different experience than his work day.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Morgan is super echoy this episode because he just moved and didn't have his full podcasting setup ready.

Morgan's Rating: 7.5
Michael's Rating: 7.5

Episode discussion begins at @07:11. Post-episode discussion begins at @1:24:00.

No assorted show notes this week because Michael didn't have time!

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

This man, and this show, are truly life-changingly positive influences not just on our lives as the hosts, but hopefully on your lives, dear listeners. What we're saying is that we are here to save your soul.

Morgan's rating: 11/Bonann
Michael's rating: 10/Bonann

Episode discussion starts @15:03. Post-episode discussion starts @01:08:46.

No additional show notes this time because everything is explained if you just listen to Gregory J. Bonann.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

For this episode, we have an album of images we refer to, you can view this album here: Baywatch Rookie School: Fish Tie Regalia.

Morgan's S1 fashion rating: 7
Michael's S1 fashion rating: 8
Valerie's S1 fashion rating: 8

Assorted show notes:

@31:52 The Tidus laugh.

@36:40 If you Google Image search Lilia Smitty, the first two results are the outfits Morgan is referencing, the blue outfits with tassels.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Why is Eddie so shitty to a pregnant woman? Just, like, chill dog. Now in fairness, as near as we can tell, he didn't know how babies were made until this episode but still.

Morgan's rating: 8
Michael's rating: 9
Morgan Season Rating: 6.5
Michael Season rating: 7

Episode discussion @29:14. Post-episode discussion @01:38:51.

Assorted show notes:

@25:34 To make this more clear, episodes of season 2 of Baywatch were receiving $300,000 upfront per episode in earnings before any other revenue data came in. Thus, they were pre-airing earning $300,000 each episode

@52:44 A map of Baywatch from this episode.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose

Warning, this episode contains the most intense sexual chemistry ever seen on screen. Spoilers: it's between Mitch and a Tree. Better make sure the horny police don't find you listening to this. Baywatch Do What Nintendon't.

Morgan's rating: 5
Michael's rating: 7
Michael Bar Fight Rating: 6 (originally 8)
Morgan Bar Fight Rating: 5.5

Episode discussion starts @08:46. Post-episode discussion starts @01:19:12.

Assorted show notes:

@20:40 Luigi Primo has some thoughts on the matter.

@29:13 Maki Itoh's Twitter.

@01:13:44 Here is an article on the Sonic bible.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Morgan's rating: 6
Michael's rating: 7
Emily's rating: 6.5

You can listen to Idle Curiosities at milfparty.icu

Episode discussion starts @04:49. Post-episode discussion starts @01:09:14.

Assorted Show Notes:

@11:38 Neither Michael nor Morgan won their bids on the items since they got even more expensive by the time of the auction closing and we weren't going to spend $600 on Baywatch memorabilia.

@24:37 The story of Radiohead and Chiptole.

@37:37 "Pounding drumps".

@45:32 Weenie Hut General.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Morgan's rating: 5
Michael's rating: 4.5

Episode discussion starts @08:52. Post-episode discussion starts @01:17:12.

There are no assorted show notes for this episode because all of our references are self-explained! That could be a good or bad thing!

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Morgan's rating: 6.5
Michael's rating: 3

Episode discussion starts @06:44. Post-episode discussion starts @01:19:13.

Assorted Show Notes:

@44:35 Michael meant to say Damo Suzuki. Instead, he referenced a Pro-Wrestler he had been watching earlier that day, Daisuke Sakamoto. This episode was a trip.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

John Gilbert's Twitter: https://twitter.com/jmagil.

Morgan's rating: 5
Michael's rating: 5
John's rating: 5

Episode discussion starts @03:38. Post-episode discussion starts @1:26:15.

Assorted show notes:

@45:12 Michael means to say "The Artist".

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Morgan's rating: 4
Michael's rating: 3

Episode discussion starts @02:52. Post-episode discussion starts @01:17:27.

Assorted show notes:

@15:43 We'd liked to issue an important correction here. Tad Ghostal IS Space Ghost. That's his real name. His brother is Chad Ghostal. His grandpa may or may not be Macho Man Randy Savage.

@26:26 Look at this creepy piece of hunk.

@51:03 Please follow Luigi Primo on Twitter and on Instagram. If you don't already enjoy him, please watch this video: https://twitter.com/BestPizzaChef/status/1280974876942241798.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Listen to Ali more here: https://whathappened.show/

Morgan's rating: 4
Michael's rating: 5
Ali's rating: 4
Bar fight rating: 8/Sonic

Episode discussion starts @07:33. Post-episode discussion starts @01:52:02.

Assorted show notes:

@20:52 An obscure reference to when Janelle Monae's Sir Greendown was being put to Disney's Salvador Dali film. This reference is incredibly niche and we apologize.

@35:22 There's quite a few S Club 7 movies. Personal favorite is: S Club 7 Back to the '50s.

@45:23 The TikTok Ali references (but on YouTube).

@50:29 A reference nobody gets.

@51:55 As referenced last week, here is the Sonic The Hedgehog bar fight scene.

@01:31:33 Our Cameo from Nick Gage can be found on our Twitter!

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Morgan's rating: 6.5
Michael's rating: 5

Episode discussion starts @08:10. Post-episode discussion starts @57:10.

Assorted show notes:

@09:38 Sonic The Hedgehog movie bar fight scene.

@44:05 Spoilers for the show Ashes to Ashes, a show nobody has ever watched, start at this time stamp.

@45:11 Spoilers for Ashes to Ashes end here.

@1:05:23 Aubrey Plaza impersonating Sarah Silverman.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Morgan's rating: 1
Michael's rating: 1

Episode discussion starts @01:47. Post-episode discussion starts @13:31. Movie review discussion starts @15:23. Post-movie review discussion starts @01:46:38.

Assorted Show Notes:

@15:23 We are not tagging this movie because everyone who does seems to get their stuff taken down and you need those 12 minutes of Baywatch discussion!

@32:41 Here is said promo transcribed. Or if you want to watch the video version, which is even better, here you go.

@49:32 It's actually Invisible Man vs Invisible Stan and it's amazing.

@01:07:33 2nd semester of Spanish, Spanish love song.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

You can tell how much we loved this episode based on how much time we spend talking about Pokemon instead.

Morgan's rating: 3
Michael's rating: 5

Episode discussion starts @04:10. Post-episode discussion starts @01:09:29.

Assorted Show Notes:

@11:54 A compilation of The Californians skits from SNL.

@15:41 Craig starting at Mitch and Alison dancing with the subtitle of "Since I Cried".

@01:06:57 The Lapras scene from Pokemon...set to a music video. Go to the 1 minute time stamp.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Morgan's rating: 4
Michael's rating: 3

Episode discussion starts @04:00. Post-episode discussion starts @53:27.

Assorted show notes:

@25:47 If you wish to torture your ears, here is The Gerogerigegege's "Tokyo Dynamite" in full on YouTube.

@57:24 To simulate this experience, play this song in 3 tabs at the same time.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Morgan's rating: 6 (so dumb that it's a 6)
Michael's rating: 8 (for fun) 2 (for quality)

Episode discussion starts @03:04. Post-episode discussion starts @01:15:06.

Assorted Show Notes:

@21:46 The last boss of the game before Andross on the easy route of Venom in Star Fox 64 is a golem running away from you.

@28:46 Darby Allin.

@43:19 "Well, like most members of America's cultural elite, I worship Pan, the goat god" - Duke Phillips from The Critic.

@01:10:12 The demon Finn Bálor. 

https://archiveofourown.org/works/26018740

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

 S1 E8: Cruise Ship. This is a bit of a longer one because we spent a fair bit of time talking about the portrayal of sexual assault in this episode.

We also talk about The Flash, Bluegrass-Disco, and the cooooolest character of all time.

Morgan's rating: 9/Tod out of 10
Michael's rating: 9/Tod out of 10

Episode discussion starts @10:14. Post-episode discussion starts @02:09:01.

Assorted Show Notes:

@19:15 The sad story of BulletBall.

@51:47 Morgan's wish is our command. Saturday Night Hay Fever is free, legally, on archive.org. Here's the link!

@01:11:28 Here is the Attitude Era Podcast talking about said promo which makes absolutely no sense.

@01:41:50 Here is a picture of the glorious Tod. This guy comes out of nowhere in this episode and is over the top 90s.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22604650/chapters/54022180

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Morgan's rating: 7.5
Michael's rating: 8
Robert's rating: 7

Episode discussion starts @08:06. Post-episode discussion starts @01:31:16.

Assorted Show Notes:

@06:17 Please refer to this Neoseeker article from someone with way too much time on their hands who compares the Fusion Dance vs the Potara Earrings.

@23:11 The Nathan For You "I Love You" scene.

@39:10 A table from Wikipedia on the legality of bestiality state-by-state.

@41:08 Michael is making a reference to a joke from episode 4 of the podcast, our episode on S1 E3 Second Wave. In that episode there was a joke about the main villain's rat tail hair, the "Rat Tailed Mullet Men", and Iceman Chuck Liddell showing up to an art opening.

@01:11:50 Using this picture from Wikipedia of every incarnation of The Doctor as a frame of reference, are Michael's descriptions accurate?

@01:28:11 In simple terms, the Filioque establishes the existence of the triad Son - Jesus Christ - Holy Spirit. It's frequently contested between Eastern and Western Christianity in terms of doctrine.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Morgan's rating: 8
Michael's rating: 5

Episode discussion starts @03:14. Post-episode discussion starts @01:35:45.

Assorted Show Notes:

@31:10 Baywatch Movie Nights (Not all Baywatch related but very deep into the show so far).

@01:16:57 If you want to skip spoilers for the Watchmen TV show, skip to @01:18:17.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Morgan's rating: 8.5
Michael's rating: 8.5-9

Episode discussion starts @07:35. Post-episode discussion starts @01:30:20.

Assorted show notes:

@04:16 You can watch music videos for (most) of the original songs from the remastered version of Baywatch here.

@04:45 Check out Kylie Diehl's soundcloud!

@04:54 Steve Bertrand's website.

@01:16:44 Dragon Ball Z Fusion Reborn plot synopsis.

@01:21:36 Brian David Gilbert's "Understanding Kingdom Hearts" video which is laugh out loud funny.

@01:22:53 Videogamedunkey's "Kingdom Hearts Explained" which is shorter and also laugh out loud funny.

@01:29:31 My Boo 64.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Morgan's rating: 7.5
Michael's rating: 6.5-7

Episode discussion starts @08:20. Post-episode discussion starts @01:34:04.

Assorted Show Notes:

@01:25 Here is a clip of the fall: https://twitter.com/BulletClubIta/status/1302412376940204033. There is no blood in this clip but it might be uncomfortable to watch if you haven't seen a lot of Pro-Wrestling.

@39:52 If you want to know why Orange Cassidy is the greatest thing ever, please refer to this YouTube video. Also please refer to this VERY old video of a drunk Orange Cassidy holding a fish. Most say he is still hungover from this night.

@01:30:47 If you have 40 minutes to kill, please enjoy the exceptional odyssey of Funhaus's quest to unlock the song "Mothers Be Aware" in Dance! It's Your Stage.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Michael gets a better mic next week! Morgan also learns not to leave a fan on during recording later in the show's run.

Episode discussion starts @03:24. Post-episode discussion starts @01:30:37.

Morgan's rating: 7.5-8
Michael's rating: 7.5-8

Assorted Show Notes:

@05:40 Manos Hands Of Felt.

@09:49 The trailer for Neil Breen's "Double Down".

@24:36 Mostly the "Dead Person Impersonation" trope. Not exactly the same thing as the episode but it is used similarly to remove power from your "protagonist" in a way that makes you, the viewer, feel powerless to help them.

@46:15 A reference to the Reply All episode "The Case Of The Missing Hit" in which a man tries to find a song that has been stuck in his head for years, going as far as recreating it from memory.

@46:35 Referencing the Central Park musical number (time stamped for the scene from full film) from Creating Rem Lezar which is 1/3 Doo-Wop, 1/3 rap, and 1/3 ballad over violin.

@49:25 The Slap is an 8 episode mini-series based off an Australian series of the same name. It details the fall-out of a group of friends after one of them, at a party, slaps someone else's misbehaving child. The American version and Australian version are mostly the same, besides the fact that Australian television has far greater amounts of nudity.

@59:45 Here is an example of the Wall Of Death from an Exodus show.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

We learn about the dangers of storm drains, the importance of lockers, the 5 Ls, and why you shouldn't tell professionals how to do their jobs if you're not in that profession.

Episode discussion starts @04:33. Post-episode discussion starts @01:14:45.

Assorted Show Notes:

@05:41 What we did not realize yet is that we are watching different versions of the show! Morgan is watching the original version and Michael is watching rips of the Amazon Prime version.

@10:44 Michael is lying. Baywatch brings her up many many more times.

@21:00 The Book Of Henry was best described as "an infectious movie. There's a decent risk that knowing about this movie will make you insufferable to friends and family as you insist on recounting every mind-numbing twist in excruciating detail."

@01:05:37 A reference to the convoluted time travel plot of the movie Primer.

@01:19:32 We are referring to Jared Harris.

@01:21:33 The YouTuber Clemps has gone over the lore of every game in the Drakengard/Nier franchises. His video on Drakengard 1 is essential viewing given it's now infamous lore. Especially since, other than Nier Automata, these games are not fun to actually play, just fun to talk about.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Episode discussion starts @02:43. Post-episode discussion @01:05:44.

Assorted Show Notes:

Yes, we address next episode how Michael keeps calling Erika Eleniak "Erina" this entire episode.

@01:25 The theme song for season 1 (and only season 1) is "Save Me" by Peter Cetera. In non-Amazon Prime re-airings of this season, the theme song is the very different "Above the Waterline" (also called "Overboard") by Kim Carnes. For the Amazon Prime remaster, they use the season 2 (and onward) theme song of "I'm Always Here" by Jimi Jamison. For the rest of season 1, Michael will be watching the Amazon Prime remaster, featuring "I'm Always Here", while Morgan is watching the original version, featuring "Save Me".

@01:56 The band Sugar, lead by Bob Mould, released their debut album Copper Blue in 1992. In 1989 (1 week after the pilot movie aired), Bob Mould would release his first solo album "Workbook". This was a mostly folk rock album, which was quite different from his previous work heading the legendary Post-Hardcore and Hardcore Punk band Hüsker Dü.

@16:40 There are "songwriting camps" where a bunch of people get together and write songs. This infamous Vulture article details how these camps write songs for artists such as Rihanna.

@23:10 Please feel free to browse the Wikipedia article for Celebrity Fit Club so you too can immerse yourself in how Hollywood tried to commoditize guilt and fat-shaming based weight loss programs.

@27:13 https://shirtz.cool/.

@52:36 On the 22nd of September, 1989 (when this episode was aired), the U.S. Dollar to Japanese Yen exchange rate was 1 USD = 145.5 JPY. This means that 5000 Yen would have been worth 34.36 USD, even less than Mitch and Craig's closet by the beach.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.

Also, we recorded in the same room for this one, so don't worry the audio quality gets better next episode (Michael gets a better mic soon too).

Episode discussion starts @08:49. Post-episode discussion starts @01:57:32.

Assorted Show Notes:

@02:53 Mädchen Amick, who plays Laurie in this episode, plays Shelly Johnson in Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me.

@05:58 To learn more about David Hasslehoff's role in America's fight over TV propaganda in Baltic countries, check out the documentary "Disco and Atomic War" by Jaak Kilmi from 2009. This is also the source for information on Baltic countries and their obsession with softcore porn films.

@08:23 The L.A. Noire face we frequently reference.

@11:46 The Baywatch wrestling episode is specifically about the actual WCW Bash at the Beach 1995 event. This episode (Season 6 Episode 15) aired the year after the event even though it was meant to promote the event. Whoops!

@17:10 If you want to torture yourself with The Gobbledy Gooker, the whole segment from 1990 is available on WWE's YouTube channel. This is the same pay-per-view where one of the most famous wrestlers of all time, The Undertaker, debuted. Also of note, is this segment where the Gobbledy Gooker hangs out with other wrestlers in the most campy fashion possible.

@41:15 For more information on "The Thin Blue Line" feel free to browse this Wikipedia entry that you can get the point of in 10 seconds of reading.

@45:55 Michael is referencing Krzysztof Kieślowski, famous for his Three Colours trilogy about the values that each color of the French flag represent. Across the three films he does fade outs that cut back to the actor in the same spot as if no time has passed. These are meant to imply deep thought or a subtlety to the scene in question.

@01:09:57 More detailed description of the Moabites and the Midianites (Ammonites).

@01:32:50 The Chris R scene from The Room.

@01:51:35 The Wikipedia entry for the movie Big Fish.

Art by Katie Rose @kilogramrose.