--- 

Here’s a story a lot of women know. You’ve been getting by — maybe not perfectly, but you’ve been getting by. And then something shifts. Suddenly the coping strategies that used to work don’t. The brain fog is different. The irritability is new. And nobody around you — including your doctor — seems to have a particularly good answer for why. For women with ADHD, the answer is often estrogen. And for too long, that connection has been wildly undertreated.

Linda Roggli has been living this story and researching it and coaching women through it for twenty years. She’s the founder of the ADDiva Network for ADHD Women 40 and Better, and she joins Pete and Nikki to trace the whole arc: what estrogen actually does for the dopamine-depleted ADHD brain, what happens when it starts its perimenopause roller coaster, why the Women’s Health Initiative study scared a generation of women away from hormone therapy that could have helped them, and what the science now says about timing, delivery methods, and who it’s actually for. It is a lot of information, delivered with the kind of warmth and hard-won clarity that only comes from someone who has personally been told by a doctor, “You’re not in menopause” — and then spent decades making sure other women don’t get that same non-answer.

Links & Notes

• Linda Roggli — professional certified coach, award-winning author, founder of the ADDiva Network for ADHD Women 40 and Better
• Driven to Distraction by Edward Hallowell and John Ratey — the book Linda’s therapist recommended at her diagnosis; she read it in the bookstore on the way home
• Women’s Health Initiative — the federal study whose 1990s findings caused a generation of women to stop hormone therapy; Linda explains why the study was fatally flawed
• Dr. Patricia Quinn — ADHD specialist whose research on estrogen-only therapy for ADHD women
• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (01:52) - Patreon.com/TheADHDPodcast
• (02:55) - ADHD Aging, Hormones, and More
• (05:18) - Linda Roggli

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Here's something nobody tells you about aging with ADHD: the part that feels like decline might not be decline at all. It might be retirement. Or perimenopause. Or just the fact that the external structure that quietly managed your symptoms for thirty years finally disappeared — and nobody warned you it was doing that much work. The question isn't whether your brain is changing. It is. The question is whether you understand why, and what the research actually says about where it leads.

Dr. Brandy Callahan is a clinical neuropsychologist, Canada Research Chair in Adult Clinical Neuropsychology, and the founder of the LiBra Lab — the Lifespan Brain Health Lab at the University of Calgary. Her research sits at the intersection most researchers haven't bothered to explore: what happens to the ADHD brain across decades, and specifically, what connects ADHD to elevated dementia risk. What she's finding — about allostatic burden, about the gap between how people perform in a lab versus how they function in a grocery store on a Sunday afternoon, about what a lifetime of navigating a neurotypical world may actually cost the brain biologically — is the conversation this series has been building toward. There is hard news in here. There is also, genuinely, a lot of hope.

Guest Spotlight

Dr. Brandy Callahan, PhD, RPsych is a clinical neuropsychologist, Associate Professor of Psychology at the University of Calgary, and a Canada Research Chair in Adult Clinical Neuropsychology. She is the founder and principal investigator of the LiBra Lab — the Lifespan Brain Health Lab — which focuses specifically on ADHD in women and in older adulthood, and she came to ADHD research not through personal experience but through a memory clinic, where she kept meeting older adults being evaluated for dementia who turned out to have lived their whole lives with undiagnosed ADHD. Her current research is investigating what may drive elevated dementia risk in adults with ADHD — including allostatic burden, cerebral small vessel disease, and the biological cost of decades of chronic stress. She is also currently running ADHD Her, an online study about girls and women with ADHD across the lifespan, open to participants from age 8 to 87. Learn more at libralab.ca, and find the ADHD Her study by searching "ADHD Her" online.

Links & Notes

• LiBra Lab
• ADHD Her Study (online, open to participants ages 8-87
• LiBra Lab participant registry (RADAR)
• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (06:40) - What does a research neuropsychologist actually do?
• (09:18) - How does EF Age?
• (15:45) - Charting the Decades
• (23:06) - The Shame Cycle... Missing in the Lab
• (24:23) - Alostatic Burden
• (37:50) - So... where's the hope?

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What happens to your sense of self when the coping strategies you've relied on your whole life start to give out? For a lot of us, "pushing through" wasn't just a strategy, it was the story we told ourselves about why we kept making it. And when that story stops being true, what we're left with can look a lot like grief.

Dr. Kathleen Nadeau has spent decades sitting with people in that moment. She's interviewed 150 older adults with ADHD about what the losses actually feel like — the unmet retirement fantasies, the disorientation of late diagnosis, the particular sting of watching younger generations get the support that was never offered to them. She knows what keeps people stuck. And she has a lot to say about what's possible on the other side.

This is the second episode of our ADHD and Aging series, and it goes somewhere we didn't fully anticipate. Kathleen pushes back on the idea that aging with ADHD is mostly a story of subtraction. She makes the case, grounded in decades of research, that our brains are more malleable than we've been told, and that the real question is never "how do I push through this" but "where do I need to plant myself."

Links & Notes

• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (03:52) - ADHD and Aging

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"You forgot because you didn't care enough." Most people with ADHD have been told that — or have told themselves that — more times than they can count.

Dr. Daniella Karidi returns to challenge it. She's a PhD researcher from Northwestern who has spent her career studying memory in ADHD, and her opening argument is one of those ideas that reframes everything that comes after: forgetfulness isn't a failure. It's the default of the system.

This episode also kicks off a new series on ADHD and aging — what happens when the structure we've built around our ADHD starts to change, how to tell normal forgetting from something more serious, and why brain fog in perimenopause and menopause is absolutely not your imagination.

Dr. Daniella Karidi is the founder of ADHD Time and a board member of CHADD Greater Los Angeles. Find her at adhdtime.com and on YouTube at ADHD Time on Air.

Links & Notes

• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (01:30) - Join the Community: Patreon.com/theadhdpodcast
• (02:49) - Memory & ADHD with Dr. Daniella Karidi
• (33:19) - Aging Issues
• (39:44) - Declining Cognition, Aging, and ADHD
• (55:23) - Visit ADHDTime.com

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If you've ever given everything to a friendship and been left wondering what went wrong, Caroline Maguire has a gentle but clarifying answer: you probably gave too much, too soon, to someone who hadn't yet earned it. That's not a character flaw — it's the ADHD brain doing what it does when it finally finds someone who sees it. The dopamine hit of new connection can tip straight into hyperfocus, and suddenly you're all-in on a relationship that hasn't had time to prove itself. Caroline calls it the impulsive friendship cycle, and she has spent years helping neurodivergent adults find their way out of it.

Caroline is a social emotional learning expert, ADHD coach, and author of the award-winning Why Will No One Play With Me. Her new book, Friendship Skills for Neurodivergent Adults, arrives April 14th — and it's not another book that asks you to fix yourself to fit a friendship model built for someone else's social battery. Instead, she starts with a reframe that carries the whole conversation: our friendship struggles are not a personal failing. They're a neurological mismatch between the way we were taught to connect and the way our brains actually work.

In this conversation, we dig into the masking vs. adapting distinction that has already sparked significant conversation in our Discord community — including what makes the difference between reading a room and suppressing yourself entirely. Caroline walks us through the ice cream scoop method for building trust slowly, what "emerging friend" means and why it matters, how to troubleshoot a friendship before you decide it's over, and the unmasking story she never expected to tell — including the moment Ned Hallowell called her out on a mask she didn't know she was wearing.

This episode is part of our ongoing relationships series, and it may be the most practical and personally honest conversation we've had in it yet. The book is available for pre-order now, with bonus resources, at any major bookseller.

Links & Notes

• Caroline Maguire
• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (02:35) - Introducing Caroline Maguire
• (04:03) - Friendship Skills for Neurodivergent Adults
• (16:32) - Adapting versus Masking
• (29:19) - Over-extending "Friendship"
• (42:16) - About the Book

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If you've ever spent an entire day performing a version of yourself that felt nothing like the real you — holding it together at work, seeming calm when you're not, passing as organized — you already know something about masking. But knowing it and understanding it are two different things. Dr. Sharon Saline returns to help Pete and Nikki unpack what masking actually is: hiding traits, suppressing impulses, and overcompensating to appear more polished than you feel. It's a coping mechanism that can be useful, but for adults with ADHD, chronic masking carries real costs — increased anxiety, emotional exhaustion, a growing disconnect between who you show the world and who you actually are.

One of the most important distinctions in this conversation is the difference between masking and presentation. We all show up differently in different contexts — there's a version of you at work, with close friends, with your partner. That's not masking; that's healthy. Masking is specifically about hiding, about a core sense of deficiency that says if people see the real me, they'll reject me. Sharon traces this directly to the social anxiety spectrum — and to the RSD, perfectionism, and imposter syndrome that so many with ADHD know intimately.

So what does it look like in practice? Saying yes when you mean no. Staying quiet when you have something to say. Overpreparing to look like you know everything so no one discovers you feel like you know nothing. And at work, pretending you have it all under control when you're drowning — rather than simply asking for what you need. Sharon draws a crucial line between protective masking (I will never feel safe here) and productive masking (I don't feel comfortable yet) — and that distinction is where the path forward starts to open up.

Lowering the mask isn't about tearing it off all at once. It's about identifying the patterns — the people and places where you've felt safe before — and using those as your guide. It's about noticing the physical sensation of safety when it shows up, and recognizing that you deserve spaces in your life where you don't have to perform in order to belong. Sharon also reminds us that for AuDHD people especially, masking has often been an essential survival tool, and that owning your challenges with honesty — and even humor — is ultimately far less exhausting than the alternative.

Links & Notes

• Dr. Sharon Saline — drsharonsaline.com
• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (02:42) - When Masking is a Strategy
• (04:02) - What is Masking?

--- 

It's not the blow-ups that do the most damage in a relationship — it's the quieter stuff. The look you misread, the deadline you missed again, the apology you've given so many times it stopped meaning anything. For those of us with ADHD, these small misconnections harden faster because we arrive already carrying a lifetime of being told we're too much or not enough. Dr. Dodge Rea is back to help us name what's really happening beneath the surface when relationships start to calcify.

Dodge walks us through the concept of misattunement — the challenge of being both intact and in touch at the same time — and why ADHD brains and neurotypical brains can miss each other without anyone being at fault. He shares a powerful reframe: "It's not your fault and it's not your fate, but it is yours." Both partners have ownership work to do, and it starts with putting down the shame long enough to actually talk about what's hard. From the kitchen stepladder analogy to his expanded Ferrari metaphor, Dodge offers language that makes the invisible patterns in ADHD relationships finally feel speakable.

Pete and Nikki bring their own experiences to the table — Pete on the fear of being "generalized forgetful" and Nikki on the compassion required from the non-ADHD partner. Together they explore why shame makes everything about your value, how all-or-nothing thinking accelerates the spiral, and what it looks like to meet your experience with authenticity instead of defensiveness.

Links & Notes

• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (03:41) - The Relational Toll of ADHD over Time with Dr. Dodge Rea
• (05:23) - Misattunement
• (18:09) - Conflict
• (27:29) - The 5'2" Story
• (40:33) - What Does The Work Look Like?

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If you have ADHD, chances are you've developed a deeply ingrained habit of apologizing — for being late, for forgetting, for talking too long, for existing in a way that feels like an inconvenience. In this episode, Nikki and Pete unpack why over-apologizing is so common in the ADHD experience and how rejection sensitive dysphoria fuels the cycle. They explore what happens on the receiving end when apologies become emotional labor for someone else, and why pre-apologizing can actually undermine your credibility and prevent others from having their own authentic reactions.

The conversation moves from apology into repair — a critical distinction. Where an apology is one-directional, repair is a two-party activity built on acknowledging impact, taking responsibility, and resetting the relationship. Nikki walks through the framework of acknowledge, repair, reset, and Pete shares a powerful lesson from his own therapist: your power ends with your skin. You get to own your part, but you don't get to own someone else's forgiveness timeline. They also dig into why self-compassion isn't optional — it's the foundation that makes real repair possible.

This episode also comes with a free downloadable resource: "Repair Scripts for Real Life: The ADHD Repair Guide," featuring five ready-to-use scripts for situations that come up for ADHDers every single week. Grab your copy Right Here!

Links & Notes

• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (01:41) - Looking for Membership?
• (03:40) - How to Repair without Over-Apologizing

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Being called "low maintenance" feels like a win — until you realize the price you've been paying to earn it. In this episode, Pete and Nikki dig into why so many people with ADHD build their identity around not needing anything from anyone, and what happens when the bill comes due.

Pete defines maintenance as the information, time, supports, accommodations, and care that let you function without constant internal triage — and argues that nobody is maintenance free. Together they explore the privatized support behaviors that keep ADHDers silent: not asking for written instructions, not requesting deadline extensions while drowning, saying "whatever works for you" when you have strong preferences, and hiding the enormous effort required to look effortless.

The conversation introduces two low maintenance archetypes — the Ghost, who disappears when overwhelmed and returns like nothing happened, and the Fixer, who over-functions to become indispensable and then collapses. Pete and Nikki explore what both patterns cost: exhaustion, resentment, mystery anger, relationship distortion, and identity erosion.

This is an episode about learning to say "I matter" — two words that don't require a journaling practice or a checklist, just the courage to believe them. Plus, Nikki drops a powerful reframe: when you start asking for help, you open the door for others to do the same.

Download the Relearning Maintenance Worksheet that accompanies this episode right here!

Links & Notes

• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (01:40) - Support the Show on Patreon
• (03:05) - What does it mean when we say we're Low Maintenance?

--- 

This episode turns into a stealth self-care intervention when James Ochoa joins Pete and Nikki and immediately drags “motivation” out of the tidy, planner-friendly realm and into the messy, bodily reality of fear, avoidance, and chronic stress. They start with the familiar ADHD paradox—knowing exactly what to do and still not being able to do it—and James reframes that stuckness as normal rather than shameful, then introduces “resourcing” as the practical antidote: not a single trick, but layered supports (internal and external) that make motion possible even when meaning, willpower, and good intentions aren’t showing up.

From there, the conversation gets uncomfortably specific in the best way, as Pete uses a long-avoided dermatologist appointment to walk through what “functional pressure” and relationship-based accountability can look like in real time. They explore why the hardest part is often the moment before the call, why eight-out-of-ten certainty is a workable target, and how to build a personal “wind-making” kit—scripts, sensory cues, body movement, tiny rituals, and other anchors that help you cross the threshold from uncertainty to action. The live chat brings in real-world complications (sleep issues, pain, dental trauma, AuDHD scripting and emotion tagging), and James offers concrete, compassionate ways to get support without muscling through alone—because the point isn’t to never fall off the wagon, it’s to get better at restarting.

Links & Notes

• James Ochoa
• Focused Forward by James Ochoa
• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (04:09) - Introducing James Ochoa
• (04:52) - Finding Meaning
• (20:58) - Making Your Own Wind
• (36:12) - Chronic Stress and Adult ADHD
• (41:11) - Writing, Writing, Writing

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That “this year will be different” promise feels so good when it’s fresh… and so brutal when the old patterns quietly return. In this episode, Pete and Nikki unpack why that boom-and-bust cycle hits so hard for ADHD brains: the early dopamine of a new system (or a newly organized sock drawer), the unrealistic maintenance expectations baked into most productivity advice, and the emotional crash that follows when the setup doesn’t hold.

They dig into the real trap underneath the resolution mindset—living in the gap between who you were yesterday and who you hope to be tomorrow—and how to pull your attention back to the only place you actually have leverage: today. Along the way, they talk about why asking for help can feel so risky (hello, shame and RSD), how to regulate before you ask, and what it looks like to reframe help as advocacy instead of rescue. The goal isn’t becoming someone new. It’s learning to support the person you already are, with more time, more buffer, and a lot less self-punishment.

Links & Notes

• Free download! How to Ask for Help Without the Guilt

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (03:11) - Letting Go of the "This Year will be a Different Story" Story 😉

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When you're running on empty, your emotions hit harder and last longer. This week on Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast, Pete and Nikki explore what happens to emotional regulation when you're already depleted—and what you can actually do about it.

Building on last week's conversation about compassionate reframing, this episode dives into the physiology behind emotional dysregulation and RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria). Pete shares insights from the polyvagal theory and the concept of the "vagal brake," explaining why breathing alone isn't enough when you're in fight-or-flight mode.

Nikki breaks down the differences between emotional regulation, emotional dysregulation, and RSD with real examples that anyone with ADHD will recognize. Then they walk through practical grounding techniques that actually work—from ice cold water to wall push-ups to finding safe connection with others.

You'll learn why your ADHD brain feels emotions at 100% when others are at 50%, why that negative comment from ten years ago still lives rent-free in your head, and how to create safety for your nervous system when you're already overwhelmed.

Plus, get the free downloadable guide: "Regulate and Reframe: A Guide for Emotional Dysregulation and RSD" with simple tools to help you ground, reset, and find your way back to safety.

Links & Notes

• Download Regulate and Reframe: A Guide for Emotional Dysregulation and RSD
• The Polyvagal Theory by Stephen W. Porges
• Polyvagal Perspectives by Stephen W. Porges
• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (03:45) - Emotional Regulation
• (12:15) - Signs Your Tank is Empty

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Pete and Nikki kick off the new season by naming the thing nobody wants to put on a vision board: the post-holiday crash. If you’ve come out the other side feeling “behind,” they argue you’re not failing—you’re recovering. And because ADHD loves a transition about as much as it loves a quiet restaurant, that return-to-normal whiplash can hit harder than you expect.

The temptation, of course, is to fix the feeling by buying a brand-new feeling: new planner, new system, new you, new personality, new carbon-based lifeform. Nikki gently drags that impulse into the daylight and offers a more realistic move—skip the reinvention and reestablish one anchor routine you already know helps. Something small, repeatable, and boring in the way that’s actually useful, whether it’s hydration, an end-of-day reset, or getting sleep back on purpose instead of by accident.

They also lean into compassionate reframing—swapping the “I blew it” narrative for language that’s both true and less cruel—because shame is a famously unreliable productivity tool. There’s a new resource tied to that idea, too, and it’s meant to be the quick handrail you grab when January starts acting like a performance review.

Links & Notes

📃 Download Compassionate Reframing for the ADHD Brain

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (03:07) - You're Not Behind... You're Exhausted

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To close out Season 31, we turned the microphones over to someone who knows us better than almost anyone in our community: Melissa Bacheler, our DiscordMom, friend, and occasional chaos agent. Instead of the usual coaching, planning, and problem-solving, Melissa surprises us with a full-blown quiz-show-style conversation designed to reveal stories we’ve never told on air. No points, no pressure—just questions that spark nostalgia, laughter, and a surprising amount of self-reflection.

Melissa steers us through three big categories: personal hobbies, memories from childhood and adolescence, and a handful of wildly imaginative “what if” scenarios. Nikki talks about her deep love of puzzles, watercolor, country music, and solitude. Pete shares his affection for filmmaking, collaborative storytelling, woodworking, and turning every car he’s ever owned into a “Doctor.” Together, they trade stories about childhood fears, nicknames that should never have been uttered in public, their dream cars, early celebrity crushes, and the music that scored each decade of their lives.

And then Melissa goes for the big swings: Who would coach Pete if he could choose any fictional character? How would Nikki run the show if Pete were abducted by aliens—or voluntarily uploaded to the cloud, which frankly sounds inevitable? The answers—if you’ve listened to the show long enough—are deeply on brand.

This is a relaxed end-of-season celebration with the person who keeps our Discord running and our community grounded. Thank you for an incredible Season 31—and yes, Season 32 begins in the new year!

Links & Notes

• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (01:47) - Support the Show on Patreon!
• (02:46) - Quiz Show!
• (04:57) - Hobby Lob-by
• (17:47) - Nostalgia Nuggets
• (38:41) - What If Fantasies

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Emotional planning sounds like one of those concepts you think you already understand — until you realize it has nothing to do with mood journaling, crystal grids, or color-coding your feelings. What Nikki brings forward in this conversation is something far more practical: the idea that ADHD motivation doesn’t start with logic. It starts with emotion. And if we learn to work with that reality instead of trying to muscle our way through it, the whole experience of getting things done changes.

This episode was sparked by a discussion inside GPS, where members were reflecting on our earlier conversation with financial coach Nicole Stanley. Nicole talked about how emotionally meaningful goals are the ones we actually stick with — even when motivation falters. That hit a nerve. If emotional meaning helps us save money, why can’t it help us take out the trash, send the email, or finally make that dreaded insurance phone call?

From there, Nikki pulls the curtain back on the truth most ADHDers already know in their bones: motivation isn’t something you summon by force. You can’t shame yourself into momentum. You can’t logic your way into action. And no amount of telling yourself you “should just do it” will magically conjure wind in your sails.

We talk instead about how to invite motivation in: through novelty, stimulation, environment shifts, sensory comfort, short timers, playful challenges, and co-working with others who get it. We look closely at body doubling — not as a trend, but as an ADHD-power-tool that reliably flips the activation switch for so many of us. We explore how accountability creates connection, how structure eases initiation, and how changing a setting (or a soundtrack… or even a pen) can lighten the emotional load of tasks we avoid.

And finally, we dig into the heart of emotional planning: identifying meaning in the task itself. Not fake meaning, not “I should care about this,” but real alignment — who benefits, what value the task honors, and how it makes life easier for future you. By the time Pete unexpectedly processes his own insurance-related avoidance live on the show, emotional planning has become more than a coaching tool. It’s a reframing — one that reminds us that motivation isn’t a moral quality; it’s a relationship between emotion and action.

If you’ve been stuck, stalled, circling a task like it’s a shark in shallow water, this episode gives you both language and strategy to step toward it with less dread. It’s not about forcing motivation. It’s about building the conditions where motivation has an easier time finding you.

Links & Notes

• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (01:40) - Support the Show at Patreon.com/theadhdpodcast
• (03:25) - Emotional Planning
• (13:52) - Invite Meaning In

--- 

Aging with ADHD often hides in the background of our conversations, even though so many of us feel its effects every day. In this episode, we bring it forward with help from Jami Shapiro, whose work sits right at the intersection of ADHD, transitions, and later-life planning. She’s a senior move manager, ADHD coach, and the voice behind Grandma Has ADHD. Her mix of humor, candor, and lived experience sets the tone for a conversation that feels both comforting and disarming.

Jami’s ADHD diagnosis arrived in her mid-40s, long after she had built a career, raised children, and weathered major life changes. The bigger surprise came later: realizing her mother had been living with ADHD as well, completely undiagnosed into her seventies. That discovery reshaped not only Jami’s understanding of her family history but also the emotional patterns she had carried for decades. It softened old misunderstandings and gave her and her mother a way to talk to each other that hadn’t existed before.

From there, the conversation widens into the many transitions that come with midlife and beyond—downsizing, empty rooms once filled by children, changing routines, and the simple pressure of making decisions when every choice feels weighty. Jami explains how emotional intensity, uncertainty, and decision fatigue show up more sharply for ADHD adults, especially as responsibilities shift and long-established structures fall away. She walks us through what makes these transitions overwhelming and what actually helps when “just start somewhere” doesn’t land.

We also spend time on the parent–child dynamic that emerges when adult children try to help their aging parents with organizing or downsizing. Jami gives a clear look at why these roles easily tangle, how shame gets triggered on both sides, and why a neutral guide often makes the work calmer for everyone involved. Her stories from years of senior move management reveal patterns that many families will recognize instantly.

There’s also a practical side to this conversation: how to create a floor plan before a move, how to sort sentimental objects without spiraling, how to use photos and “family show-and-tell” conversations to preserve memories, and how to stay grounded when technology becomes a barrier. Jami talks openly about scams, tech overwhelm, and the very real worries older adults carry about cognitive decline—topics that are easier to avoid than to name, but essential for keeping ourselves and our loved ones safe.

The heart of this episode is simple: learning about ADHD later in life doesn’t erase the years behind you, but it can change how you interpret them. It can ease old guilt, untangle family stories, and give you permission to approach the next chapter with more clarity and less self-blame. Jami’s work is full of that spirit, and her guidance makes the process of aging with ADHD feel less isolating and more like something we can navigate together.

Links & Notes

• Jami Shapiro
• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (01:46) - Support the Show on Patreon
• (02:32) - Introducing Jami Shapiro • Aging with ADHD
• (11:48) - Transitions
• (22:05) - Scams and Cognitive Decline
• (26:32) - Giving Up vs Letting Go
• (31:38) - Where to Start?
• (37:34) - Technology
• (41:10) - What age is "Older?"

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We’re revisiting a classic — and for longtime listeners, a foundational topic: the Tolerations List. These are the small, nagging things we put up with every day — the crooked picture, the squeaky door, the wrong clock time — that quietly drain our focus and energy. Pete and Nikki first talked about tolerations all the way back in episode 106, and a decade later, they’re still finding new lessons in this deceptively simple coaching exercise.

In this episode, they explore how tolerations evolve over time and how ADHD brains are especially vulnerable to letting them pile up. Nikki brings fresh perspective from her early coaching school days, where the idea originated as a way to identify and release mental clutter. They dive into how tolerations become invisible over time — from broken stove knobs and unpainted bathrooms to window coverings that never got ordered. Together they unpack the emotional undercurrent of these seemingly minor annoyances: why we live with them, how we rationalize them, and what it means to decide which ones are worth fixing versus simply accepting.

They also revisit one of their most endearing long-running debates: is it a toleration or a project? From broken dishwashers to cluttered garages, they draw the line between avoidance, acceptance, and intentional deferral. And, in true ADHD fashion, they discuss how everything feels urgent — until you realize that not everything is.

By the end, Pete and Nikki offer a practical guide to managing tolerations using the GPS Planning color system: identifying red (urgent), green (important), and blue (non-urgent) tasks, and intentionally tackling the ones that genuinely lighten your cognitive load. You’ll learn how to make the invisible visible, how to reclaim small pockets of energy, and how to let go — compassionately — of the things that no longer deserve your bandwidth.

Links & Notes

• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (02:07) - Support the Show on Patreon!
• (03:34) - Tolerations
• (22:37) - Tracking and Prioritizing Tolerations

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This week, we’re talking about what it means to be both introverted and ADHD, and how those two identities can collide—or beautifully harmonize—when you finally understand yourself. Our guest is Kyrus Keenan Westcott, better known as Ky, the creator behind The Vibe With Ky. With more than 1.5 million followers across TikTok, Instagram, and Facebook, Ky has become a leading voice for ADHD awareness, mental health, and the art of adulting without apology.

Ky joins Pete and Nikki to share his story of a late ADHD diagnosis at age 35—how it reshaped his understanding of his past, and how he processed it through stages of grief, anger, and acceptance. We talk about what it means to find peace after years of wondering, “If I had only known sooner.”

Then we dig into introversion. Ky helps us debunk the myths—no, being an introvert doesn’t mean you hate people, and it’s not the same as social anxiety. It’s about energy: how you spend it, how you recover it, and how to protect it through healthy boundaries. From managing “introvert guilt” to learning the beauty of traveling solo and saying no without shame, Ky brings humor and humanity to the experience of living quietly in a loud world.

Oh, and yes—there’s Gilmore Girls talk. Plus, Ky reveals his brand-new fragrance collaboration: “Why Did I Walk Into This Room?”, a cherry-pie-and-cinnamon scent honoring the spirit of adult ADHD.

If you’ve ever wrestled with the feeling that you’re “too quiet,” “too tired,” or “too late,” this episode will remind you that your timing and your energy are perfect—just the way they are.

Links & Notes

• Why Did I Walk Into This Room? collaboration with The Vibe With Ky
• The Vibe With Ky
• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (03:24) - Introducing Kyrus Keenan Wescott
• (12:26) - Introversion
• (36:58) - Ky's ADHD Fragrance!

--- 

When Dr. Nachi Felt first joined us, he introduced two big ideas that stuck with a lot of listeners—the Cycle of Ambiguity and the Cycle of Agency. Those conversations gave language to what so many of us experience every day with ADHD: the frustration of getting stuck, and the relief that comes when we finally start moving again.

This time, Nachi is back to take the next step forward with something new: the Cycle of Accountability. It’s not about guilt or discipline or “holding yourself to higher standards.” It’s about what happens when you stop treating accountability like punishment and start seeing it as connection—to your values, to your sense of purpose, to the people who matter to you.

Together, we dig into how meaning drives motivation for ADHD brains, why avoidance feels so sneaky and familiar, and how the smallest acts of self-acceptance can spark real change. Along the way, Nachi talks about trauma, growth, and what it means to finally believe that you matter enough to take ownership of your own story.

Links & Notes

• Clearheaded by Dr. Nachi Felt • Sign up and get the introduction to the new book right now!
• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (01:56) - Support the Show: Https://patreon.com/theadhdpodcast
• (02:48) - Introducing Dr. Nachi Felt
• (04:52) - The Cycle of Ambiguity
• (22:54) - The Cycle of Accountability
• (45:05) - Clearheaded by Dr. Nachi Felt

--- 

We love to say it: “Your future self will thank you.” It’s a mantra for hopeful planning, a reminder that the effort you put in now will pay off later. But for people with ADHD, that phrase can land like a challenge you keep failing to meet — because the gap between Now You and Future You can feel impossibly wide.

This week, we welcome back our friend James Ochoa, licensed professional counselor, author of Focused Forward, and creator of the new reflective tool 11Q Your ADHD. Together, we’re digging into what makes long-term planning feel so fraught for ADHD brains — and how we can reconnect with the version of ourselves we’re trying to help.

We’ll talk about the emotional weight of goal-setting, how perfectionism sabotages progress, and why redefining responsibility as self-support — not pressure — changes everything. James highlights how planning isn’t about control or productivity; it’s about compassion. When you treat “future you” like someone worth caring for, you create the emotional safety that makes real progress possible.

We also explore practical scaffolding: tools, community, and systems that “have your back” when motivation dips — because ADHD management isn’t a solo project. Whether you’re learning to forgive past missteps or just trying to make tomorrow a little easier, this conversation will help you find hope and grace in the small choices that compound over time.

And stay tuned — James introduces his new project, 11Q Your ADHD, a reflective experience designed to help you strengthen your internal guidance system and cultivate a kinder, more curious relationship with yourself.

Future You isn’t a stranger. They’re someone you can start taking care of — today.

Links & Notes

• 11Q Your ADHD - Free Vision Exercise | James Ochoa
• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (01:43) - Support the Show at Patreon.com/theadhdpodcast
• (02:27) - Unapologetically ADHD is OUT!
• (03:38) - Introducing James Ochoa
• (05:57) - Visualizing Your Future Self
• (16:50) - A Sidebar on Trust
• (39:03) - 11Q Your ADHD

--- 

In 1992, a struggling advertising executive in Manhattan walked into his Upper East Side doctor's office with what he thought might be a revelation. His boss had just been diagnosed with ADHD, and the symptoms—the scattered thinking, the time that evaporated, the constant feeling of running to catch up—sounded eerily familiar. The doctor listened, nodded, and delivered his professional opinion: "ADD is a myth created by the media. You just need to do more crossword puzzles."

Alan Brown took that advice seriously. For five years, he became exceptional at the New York Times crossword puzzle—almost able to complete the notoriously difficult Saturday edition. His ADHD, however, remained completely uncured.

This week on Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast, Alan Brown—now known as the ADD Crusher—returns after nine years to unpack a question that haunts nearly everyone with ADHD after diagnosis: Now what?

Because here's what nobody tells you: getting diagnosed is the easy part. The hard part is learning to ask for what you need without drowning in shame. The hard part is figuring out how to advocate for yourself when the very act of asking feels like admitting defeat.

Alan walks us through a discovery that transformed his career: the moment he refused a shared office space and, instead of being fired or labeled difficult, ended up with a private office overlooking lower Manhattan. It wasn't magic. It wasn't luck. It was understanding something fundamental about advocacy that most people miss entirely.

The conversation reveals two deceptively simple mindset shifts that unlock the door to effective self-advocacy. The first: replacing "I suck at this" with "I'm trying." The second: swapping "I should be able to" with "I am willing to." These aren't just feel-good affirmations—they're the difference between staying stuck and making progress.

But there's a deeper pattern here in the concept of "expansionist thinking"—the ADHD superpower of seeing connections and possibilities everywhere—and how it becomes weaponized against us. One small failure explodes into "I suck at everything." One unmet expectation spirals into complete self-doubt. Understanding this pattern is the first step to interrupting it.

Throughout the conversation, a central question emerges: When are you at your best? Not when do you think you should be at your best. Not when does everyone else seem to be at their best. When are you actually, genuinely at your best? Answer that question honestly, and you've identified every accommodation you'll ever need.

Alan shares his upcoming presentation at the ADHD conference in Kansas City—"Ten Simple Mindset Shifts for More Doing and Less Stressing"—and offers his free ebook at ADDCrusher.com: "Five Things We're Doing Every Day That Make Our ADHD Worse."

Because it turns out the real question isn't whether you deserve accommodations. The real question is: what becomes possible when you finally ask for what you need?

Links & Notes

• ADDCrusher.com
• International Conference on ADHD 2025
• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (01:53) - Support the show by becoming a Patron today!
• (02:51) - Introducing Alan Brown
• (03:23) - ADHD Advocacy
• (10:27) - The Meta Shame of Self-Advocacy
• (14:07) - Mindset
• (33:56) - How do you know what to ask for?
• (44:00) - Find Alan

--- 

Imagine this: one person spends ten minutes with their doctor, walks out with a prescription, and calls it an ADHD diagnosis. Another spends an entire day in a psychologist’s office, testing memory, attention, and executive function, only to arrive at the very same conclusion. Which one is “real”? Which one counts?

In this episode, Pete Wright and Nikki Kinzer talk with psychologist Dr. Amie DeHarpporte, who has spent her career living at the intersection of these contradictions. Once a high school teacher and now a specialist in ADHD assessment, Dr. DeHarpporte has seen how elusive—and yet how desperately needed—a clear diagnosis can be. She explains why ADHD is simultaneously overdiagnosed and underdiagnosed, how TikTok has blurred the boundaries of what people think ADHD looks like, and why the process is as much art as it is science.

But the story isn’t just about tests and checklists. At its heart, a diagnosis is about validation—about someone finally saying, yes, what you’ve been experiencing all these years is real. Dr. DeHarpporte takes us inside her practice, showing how thorough assessment can unravel years of shame, rewrite self-narratives, and reveal strengths hidden in plain sight.

What you’ll discover is that ADHD diagnosis isn’t a binary. It’s a lens, a way of telling the story of your life with more clarity. And sometimes, that clarity is the most important prescription of all.

Links & Notes

• Dr. Amie DeHarpporte’s practice: Portage Psychology
• Unapologetically ADHD paperback release October 28
• Support the Show on Patreon
• ADHD Discord Community
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (02:43) - Support the Show!
• (05:12) - Introducing Dr. Amie DeHarpporte
• (06:53) - The Diagnosis Space
• (13:47) - What goes into a diagnosis

--- 

Here's a puzzle that will stop you cold: ADHD has exploded into public consciousness. More diagnoses than ever. More research. More conversations. And yet? Turn on your television. What stares back at you?

The class clown. The scatterbrained sidekick. The walking punchline.

Something doesn't add up.

This disconnect—between lived reality and screen reality—forms the heart of this week’s conversation with Matthew Fox, whose passion for dissecting genre media runs as deep as their own neurodivergent experience. Fox hosts Superhero Ethics and other podcasts that examine the ethics woven through our most beloved stories. But today, they’re hunting bigger game.

Consider this: Maria von Trapp. "How do you solve a problem like Maria?" Sound familiar? Fox argues she's ADHD incarnate. Flighty. Unpredictable. Out of focus. The nuns can't pin her down. Neither can we, apparently. Because nobody—not once—uses the words.

That's the pattern. Characters burst with hyperactivity, impulsivity, attention challenges. Dennis the Menace in the '50s. Tigger bouncing through the Hundred Acre Wood. Calvin racing after imaginary adventures. All ADHD-coded. None explicitly labeled.

Why does this matter? Because children search desperately for themselves in stories. Adults do too, though less consciously. When representation gets frozen in stereotype—or worse, buried in subtext—it shapes how teachers see students, how employers evaluate talent, how we see ourselves.

The conversation zigzags through terrain both familiar and startling. Percy Jackson, where ADHD becomes a god-given power. Phil Dunphy, the endearing but scattered dad. Jake Peralta solving crimes through controlled chaos. Then the darker territory: Barney Stinson using ADHD as an excuse for predatory behavior.

But here's where it gets interesting. Fox points out a part of the conversation that is too often forgotten: the gender patterns. Hyperactive male character? Meet his organized, grounding female partner. It's everywhere once you see it. Brooklyn Nine-Nine. Modern Family. New Girl. The narrative is always the same—love of a steady woman tames the chaotic man.

And buried within all of this lies a more uncomfortable truth. In our hunger to see ourselves on screen, we claim characters who were never intended as representation. We read ADHD into Kirk and Spock, into Hiccup and his dragon, into anyone who shows even a glimmer of recognition.

Is that enough? Should it be?

Whether you're searching for positive examples for your children or trying to untangle how decades of media have shaped your own relationship with neurodivergence, this conversation might just shift how you watch ... everything.

Links & Notes

Shows and Movies

• Modern Family - Phil Dunphy as ADHD-coded character
• Brooklyn Nine-Nine - Jake Peralta as positive ADHD representation
• How I Met Your Mother - Barney Stinson as problematic ADHD portrayal
• New Girl - Nick and Jess relationship dynamic
• The Simpsons - Bart Simpson and Ritalin episode (2000)
• Community - Abed Nadir as autism-coded character
• Parenthood (TV series) - Autism representation
• Arrow - Felicity Smoak as ADHD-coded character
• K-pop Demon Hunter - Zoe as positive ADHD representation
• The Sound of Music - Maria von Trapp as ADHD-coded
• Finding Nemo/Finding Dory - Dory as ADHD representation
• How to Train Your Dragon - Hiccup as ADHD-coded

Books and Characters

• Percy Jackson series by Rick Riordan - ADHD as demigod trait
• Calvin and Hobbes - Calvin as ADHD-coded
• Dennis the Menace - Classic hyperactive representation
• Winnie the Pooh characters as neurodivergent representation

Podcasts by Matthew Fox

• The Ethical Panda
• Superhero Ethics
• Star Wars Generations
• Marvel Movie Minute (co-hosted with Pete Wright)
• The Once and Future Parent(Coming soon!)

Links & Notes

• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (02:06) - Support the Show and Become a Patron!
• (02:42) - The ADHD Representation Paradox
• (03:32) - Introducing Matthew Fox

--- 

Money is rarely just about math—it’s about stories, habits, emotions, and, for ADHDers, often a deep sense of shame. In this episode, Pete and Nikki sit down with Nicole Stanley, financial coach and founder of Arise Financial Coaching, to unpack the hidden ways ADHD intersects with our finances—and how we can finally start to build a healthier, ADHD-friendly relationship with money.

Nicole shares her own diagnosis journey and the challenges of postpartum depression, financial anxiety, and feeling “not enough” as a new mom. From there, she walks us through how our early experiences shape money beliefs (most of us make up our financial mindset by age seven!), and why traditional budgeting advice so often fails the ADHD brain.

This conversation is a blueprint for anyone who’s ever felt overwhelmed, behind, or just exhausted trying to “do money right.” Nicole reframes key concepts: how to spot the real root of your financial stress, why automating your systems might be better than trying to “budget harder,” and how to emotionally connect to your goals so you’re actually excited to follow through.

Plus: what financial coaches really do, how ADHDers can leverage dopamine to create a positive money loop, and the five core financial problems that every person needs to identify before they can move forward. Whether you’re in credit card debt, unsure where your money’s going, or just sick of feeling behind—this episode is your permission to drop the shame and start where you are.

Links & Notes

• Arise Financial Coaching
• YNAB (You Need A Budget)
• Become a Supporting Member
• Join the ADHD Discord Community
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

Books Mentioned in This Episode:

• The Simple Path to Wealth by J.L. Collins
• Your Money or Your Life by Vicki Robin & Joe Dominguez
• I Will Teach You to Be Rich by Ramit Sethi
• Happy Money by Ken Honda
• You mean I’m Not Lazy, Stupid, or Crazy?! by Kate Kelly & Peggy Ramundo
• Die with Zero: Getting All You Can from Your Money and Your Life by Bill Perkins

• (00:00) - Introducing Nicole Stanley
• (02:39) - Nicole's ADHD Journey
• (05:27) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (08:14) - ADHD Money Assumptions
• (14:01) - The Areas of our Financial Lives
• (18:41) - What does it mean to "retire well?"
• (34:06) - The Five Potential Problems in Your Financial Life
• (41:21) - Coaching, Counseling, Advising, Accounting

--- 

Money and ADHD: two words that often stir up stress, shame, or avoidance. But what if we stopped thinking of planning as punishment and instead saw it as a path to clarity, confidence, and even peace of mind? This week, Pete and Nikki welcome Ben Barlowe and Ernie Reppe—the Budget Nerds of YNAB—to talk about why the word budgeting is going out of style and how we’re still all-in on the money mindset.

They share how to build a money mindset that’s about purpose, not restriction, and why giving every dollar a job is the simple shift that makes all the difference. From impulse spending and forgotten bills to shame spirals and the fear of facing financial reality, this conversation gets real about the unique challenges ADHD brings to money management—and how to take the sting out of them.

Whether you’re brand new to planning your finances or you’ve tried before and burned out, this is your invitation to make peace with your money and take back control.

Links & Notes

• Getting Started with YNAB with Ben and Ernie
• YNAB for High Income Earners
• Get your 34-day Trial of YNAB
• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (02:37) - Become a Patron at patreon.com/theadhdpodcast
• (02:58) - ADHD and Money with Ben Barlow and Ernie Reppe from the Budget Nerds
• (13:17) - The Budgeting Mindset: Give Every Dollar a Job
• (23:29) - What are the big questions to help you start your money plan?

--- 

Side hustles can be exciting, creative, and empowering—especially when you have ADHD. But they can also be overwhelming, unsustainable, and, let’s be real, joy-draining if you’re not careful. In this kickoff to our new series on ADHD and money, we’re talking all things side gig—from handmade crafts and tutoring gigs to late-night freelance projects and full-on mini-businesses. We break down the benefits and challenges of turning your interests into income, while exploring the emotional and executive function landmines that too often get left out of the conversation.

We look at the upsides: hyperfocus, creativity, independence, and the opportunity to build something meaningful on your own terms. And we also name the hard stuff: shiny object syndrome, burnout, disorganization, and the pressure to monetize every hobby. Whether you’re side hustling by choice or necessity, we’ve got practical strategies to help you stay on track—planning tools, body doubling, automation tips, and pacing ideas that won’t crush your ADHD brain.

So before you burn the midnight oil trying to ship Etsy orders and do your day job, take a breath and join us for a real talk about protecting your energy, your time, and your joy.

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (03:11) - Side Hustles

--- 

Music isn’t just background noise—it can be a tool. This week, we’re joined by Dr. Kevin J.P. Woods, cognitive neuroscientist and Director of Science at Brain.fm, to explore the science behind audio designed to do something: improve focus, enhance rest, and support attention regulation, especially for ADHD brains.

Dr. Woods breaks down the neuroscience of “functional music,” explaining how Brain.fm uses phase-locking, neural oscillations, and lab-validated protocols to guide your brain toward desired cognitive states. We dig into why ADHD brains might respond especially well to this kind of auditory support—and how students and adults alike can use it to manage study sessions, reduce overwhelm, and even fall asleep more easily.

If you’ve ever tried to study to lo-fi beats, felt overwhelmed by silence, or needed a reliable way to shift your brain into focus mode, this one’s for you.

Links & Notes

• 🎧 Brain.fm – Get a special 30-day free trial to give it a real spin!
• 🧠 Follow Dr. Kevin J.P. Woods on LinkedIn
• 📝 Learn more about how we support students with ADHD at Take Control ADHD
• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (03:17) - Introducing Kevin Woods, Ph.D. and Brain FM
• (04:13) - The Cavalier Setup
• (11:07) - Entrainment
• (16:19) - Audio and the ADHD Brain
• (19:39) - Audio and Emotional Regulation
• (21:28) - Expectation Affect
• (23:35) - Realistic Expectations and Use
• (26:41) - Context Switching and Friction
• (29:29) - Who makes the music?
• (33:04) - One more thing on Context Switching
• (39:09) - How are people using it?
• (43:12) - Yet to come...
• (46:05) - Get Brain.FM

--- 

Memory isn’t just about recall — it’s about learning, encoding, storing, and retrieving information in ways that actually work with your brain. In this conversation, Pete Wright and Nikki Kinzer continue the ADHD in College series with returning guest Dr. Daniella Karidi, diving deep into the practical study strategies that help students and adults build lasting memory.

From note-taking that actually supports learning, to strategies for sleep, nutrition, and asking for help, Daniella lays out a roadmap that makes studying less overwhelming and more effective. Whether you’re heading into a new semester, studying for certification, or just trying to remember what’s in that self-help book you just read, this episode gives you tools that can help you work with your ADHD brain — not against it.

Links & Notes

• Join Focus on ADHD Books | Bookclubs
• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (02:33) - Daniella Karidi, Ph.D.
• (05:26) - Predicting Success in College
• (21:47) - The Classroom Experience
• (29:18) - Repetition and Finding Distinction in Information
• (40:52) - Energy
• (45:38) - Asking for Help

--- 

Welcome to Season 31 of Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast! In this episode, Pete and Nikki kick off the Back-to-School Series for college students with ADHD by tackling one of the most essential—and overwhelming—skills for academic success: planning. From understanding the logic of a syllabus to building an ADHD-friendly workflow using calendars, task managers, and learning management systems, this episode is packed with practical, real-world strategies to help students plan smarter, not harder.

You’ll learn how to create your “College Workbox,” build semester-overview tools, and develop weekly and daily habits that support executive function and reduce academic stress. Pete also brings in insights from his experience as a former university faculty member to help students understand what instructors actually notice—and what they don’t. Whether you’re starting your first year or returning to campus as an adult student, this is your guide to planning a semester that works for your brain.

Links & Notes

• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (02:22) - College Planning
• (05:04) - The College Workbox
• (14:30) - The Syllabus

--- 

In this bonus drop for all listeners, Pete and Melissa peel back the curtain on their personal email habits—and how ADHD continues to complicate even the simplest message. This is the fifth installment in the ongoing email challenge (the first four were re-released to Patreon earlier this year), and it’s a rich mix of confession, coaching, and curiosity.

We recap where the challenge began in 2018 and what we’ve learned since then:

• How triage habits evolve (and fail) over time
• The mental and emotional load of email procrastination
• The shame spiral of watching your unread count climb into oblivion

Then we shift into what’s new:

• Melissa’s accidental inbox apocalypse
• Pete’s haunted January shame project
• Tools that actually reduce friction: Gmail + Gemini, Superhuman, Spark, and a candid look at Mailbird
• AI’s promise in cutting through clutter without replacing your brain
• The challenge of confusing your workbox with your inbox

Melissa is launching a personal email rehab project and will be posting updates in Patreon for Deluxe members and above. Pete’s committing to finally clearing out that January shame stack. And together, they’re setting the stage for a December follow-up episode—because this work isn’t one-and-done, it’s ongoing.

🧠 Key Takeaways:

• Triage isn’t the problem—action is.
• Email should be emotion-free (but often isn’t).
• AI isn’t the enemy—it might just be the assistant we’ve always needed.
• If you feel bad about your email habits, you’re not alone—and that doesn’t mean you’re broken.

📌 Links Mentioned:

• Superhuman
• Spark Email
• Mailbird
• Gmail + Gemini

• (00:00) - The Email 2025 Update!
• (04:54) - The Season Recap
• (07:06) - Where are you now?
• (15:31) - What did we not tackle?
• (28:18) - The Inbox and The Workbox

--- 

It’s summer rebroadcast season! Ok, let's get this out of the way: We're big fans of You Need a Budget. Like, huge fans. Massive, life-changing kind of product fans. So you can imagine that we're a bit beside ourselves this week.

See, for someone who has had struggles with money in the past, discovering a tool that has the capacity to rewire your brain around budgeting and spending is a pretty big deal™. That's YNAB, a budgeting tool like no other. Even better, while the team had not intention to make a budgeting tool that can work for folks with ADHD brains, for a lot of us, they did just that.

Jesse Mecham is the Founder of YNAB and personal finance expert. He hosts the You Need A Budget Podcast, the Beginning Balance Podcast and is the Wall Street Journal best-selling author of the book of the same name, You Need A Budget. The Smart Money Mama herself, Chelsea Brennan, introduced us to YNAB in 2020 and the tool quickly landed at the top of our list of favorite, life-changing services, so Jesse is here not only as a budgeting guy we think you might like to meet, but because we are legit fans.

YNAB isn't a sponsor of this show, but we encourage you to visit right away and sign up for their 34-day free trial and see how it works for you.

• (00:36) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast
• (02:59) - Support the Show: Become a Patron at Patreon.com/TheADHDPodcast
• (06:00) - Introducing Jesse Mecham
• (13:16) - The Tenses of Money
• (16:15) - The Four Rules
• (17:13) - 1. Giving Every Dollar a Job
• (20:17) - 2. Embrace your True Expenses
• (25:23) - 3. Role with the Punches
• (26:35) - 4. Aging Your Money
• (29:45) - The Elusive Emergency Fund
• (33:05) - What if you hate "Budgeting"
• (34:35) - Your Credit Card and You
• (39:01) - What if you're overwhelmed?
• (42:49) - YNAB as a Couple
• (46:04) - Kids

--- 

It’s summer rebroadcast season! We all have that one project—the thing we swore we’d get done before the end of summer. Whether it’s clearing out a garage, taming your inbox, or finally tackling that closet of doom, this episode is your nudge to pick a project and actually finish it.

Nikki and Pete walk through how to choose the right project (hint: it should matter to you), how to break it into manageable steps, and how to stay intentional through the planning and execution process. They cover tools, strategies, scheduling, and the power of visualizing your “after” moment. Plus, they unpack the ADHD hurdles that can get in the way—and how to overcome them.

Want to share your One Project? Post it in the Discord and we’ll check in with you!

--- 

It's Summer Rebroadcast Season! If you’re a well-practiced student, you probably have your own system and set of practices for doing that job. Taking notes, studying, preparing projects, taking exams ... you know what works for you, right?

It turns out, it’s pretty easy to develop a false sense of security in our own systems to the point that they might not actually be helping you do the real work of being a student. This week on the show, we offer the timeline for effective study habits — originated at the University of Arkansas — a simple, straight-forward process to help you learn to study effectively and deliver the results you want.

Links & Notes

• Timeline for Effective Study Habits (PDF)
• Anki Flashcards
• Quizlet

Notetaking

I know, these are both iPad Pro focused, but I encourage you to watch them for process, not technology, if you’re thinking about how to engage in material.

• 🎥 Samuel Suresh: “How I Take Notes with My iPad Pro in Lectures”
• 🎥 Ali Abdaal: “How I take notes on my iPad Pro in medical school”

Zettlecasten

If you’re not on the market for a new note-taking system, do not click on these links. There be monsters! If you’re embarking on any sort of research — and you have fun with this kind of stuff — you might just find Zettlekasten and some of the software tools that enable it really exciting.

• 🎥 Shu Omi: “Zettlekasten Note-taking Method: Simply Explained”
• 🎥 Shu Omi: “How to take Smart Notes in Roam Research”
• 🎥 Curtis McHale: “Getting Started with a Zettlecasten System”
• 🎥 Curtis McHale: “What Makes a Good Zettlekasten Note”
• 👨‍💻 Roam Research
• 👨‍💻 Obsidian

• (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast
• (01:31) - Support the Show: Become a Patron!
• (03:18) - The Timeline for Effective Study Habits
• (05:10) - Before Class
• (08:34) - During Class
• (11:07) - One Note-taking Strategy: Zettlekasten
• (15:52) - During Class... some more
• (19:40) - After Class
• (22:40) - The Exam

--- 

Join Pete and Nikki this week as they dive into the world of planning tools, focusing on the concepts of "inboxing" and "workboxing” from their new book, Unapologetically ADHD. They explore the challenges of managing the constant influx of information and tasks that come with ADHD, emphasizing the importance of a systematic approach.

Nikki and Pete discuss the common struggle of finding the "perfect" tool, acknowledging the allure of shiny new apps and planners. They encourage listeners to shift their focus from finding a magical solution to developing a personalized system that works for them. This involves viewing tools as part of a cohesive whole rather than isolated entities.

The conversation takes a turn as they explore the role of impulsivity in planning. They introduce the concept of strategically introducing "friction" to combat impulsive decision-making, particularly when it comes to adopting new tools or systems. This involves setting up personal commitments and boundaries to prevent ADHD tax-inducing purchases.

Tune in to discover practical strategies for managing inboxes, optimizing work time, and navigating the world of planning with ADHD. Pete and Nikki offer valuable insights and actionable advice to help listeners find a system that brings calm and control to busy lives.

Links & Notes

• Available Now: Unapologetically ADHD by Nikki Kinzer and Pete Wright
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:39) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (03:00) - The Workbox
• (07:26) - Inboxing
• (11:47) - Members: This is the part where Pete hurt his ankle.
• (13:14) - Key Principles of Inboxing
• (15:15) - Workboxing
• (25:46) - Managing Impulsivity
• (30:58) - Breaking Down Myths

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Time and ADHD, they’re just not great bedfellows Just as soon as time’s wind is at your back and you feel like the world is opening up to you, it can turn and make hours feel like days. We’re talking about the messy and inconsistent nature of time as we continue our exploration of our new book, Unapologetically ADHD (which you can order right here!)

Pete introduces the idea of time as an antagonist for individuals with ADHD, comparing it to a complex villain with a rich backstory. But it’s still a villain. And you know who does villains well? The Good Place, that’s who.

We emphasize the importance of recognizing and accommodating the fluid nature of time for individuals with ADHD, urging you to embrace strategies that align with your unique experiences. We highlight the significance of self-compassion and understanding in navigating the challenges of "ADHD time," encouraging you to find humor and acceptance in your relationship with time.

Links & Notes

• The Good Place (TV show)
• Jeremy Bearimy (Know Your Meme)
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:51) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (03:18) - Get Unaplogetically ADHD! https://takecontroladhd.com/adhdbook
• (05:06) - The ADHD Time Zone

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We spend a lot of time building gates and systems to protect ourselves from distraction of ADHD. But, what might we be losing at the expense of saying No? This week on the show, Pete talks about control and ADHD. Spinning off of the concept of Margin as discussed by Shawn Blanc and Richard Swenson before him, what does it mean for ADHD when our systems and processes that we use to protect ourselves and our focus cause us to run out of margin in our lives and run headlong into a broader world that doesn’t understand us?

Links & Notes

Thank you for supporting The ADHD Podcast on Patreon!

Giving up Control at Work — Shawn Blanc

Margin from The Focus Course — Shawn Blanc

Margin: Restoring Emotional, Physical, Financial, and Time Reserves to Overloaded Lives_ by Richard Swenson

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There aren’t many practitioners writing about today’s topic. Unless, that is, you look up the collected works of Dr. Bill Dodson. Dr. Dodson is an award-winning board-certified psychiatrist and specialist in adult ADHD and his contributions to the study of Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria bring him to the show today. According to Dr. Dodson, nearly all those living with ADHD live with some level of rejection sensitivity, and thanks to the poor training on the ADHD connections to the condition, patients are going misdiagnosed and mistreated as a result.

Today on the show, Dr. Dodson joins Nikki Kinzer and Pete Wright to discuss Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria and provide new language to frame a state those living with ADHD know all too well.

About Dr. William Dodson

Dr. Bill Dodson is a award-winning board-certified psychiatrist and specialist in adult ADHD. While Dr. Dodson has been on the faculties of Georgetown University and the University of Colorado Health Sciences Center he is primarily a clinical practitioner who tries to combine evidence-based practice techniques with practice-based evidence.  In addition to being named a Life Fellow of the American Psychiatric Association, and recipient of the national Maxwell J. Schleifer Award for Distinguished Service to Persons with Disabilities, Dr. Dodson is one of two experts from the US to the World Anti-Doping program for the development of guidelines for the use of ADHD stimulant medications in the world’s athletes.

Links & Notes

• Dr. William Dodson at Additudemag.com

• (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast
• (03:08) - Become a Member of The ADHD Community
• (05:12) - Introducing Dr. William Dodson
• (06:37) - What is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria?
• (11:43) - Defining Characteristics of RSD?
• (14:21) - Mental health trends
• (18:07) - RSD and Imposter Syndrome
• (20:59) - RSD and Gender
• (26:29) - Treatment paths for RSD
• (34:58) - RSD and ADHD Coaching
• (44:28) - Finding Dr. Dodson

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As we kick off our summer break, we’re re-releasing a few classic episodes that still hit home—like this one on email from way back in 2017. Yes, some of the tools we mention (hello, Evernote) have aged out of our workflows, but the core ideas about attention, overwhelm, and building ADHD-friendly systems are still spot-on. Think of this as a time capsule with a message that’s still relevant today. Enjoy the listen, and come say hi in the Discord while we’re on break!

Billions of us send hundreds of billions of email messages every single day. Email is bigger than any other social platform around the world and thanks to the explosion in mobile Internet, we’re doing more and more emailing every day in the palms of our hands. Is this how you want to live? Is your ADHD brain adopting to the always-open door to your life that is electronic mail? This week on the show, we’re talking about changes in lifestyle, behavior, and technology you can make to impact your relationship with email for the better!

Links & Notes

• Gmail
• Edison Mail
• Airmail
• Mailbird

• (00:00) - A Message from the Future Past!
• (01:36) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast
• (02:10) - Follow-up: ADDA Webinar Thanks! — Celebrating Mistakes
• (05:13) - Thanks for your support on Patreon!
• (08:40) - Follow-up: Where does the diagnosis start?
• (11:48) - Follow-up: Learning to love yourself
• (15:20) - Let's talk about Email and the ADHD Brain
• (19:28) - Challenging Email Behavior and Lifestyle
• (26:52) - Stop filing. Just stop it. Please, stop it.
• (29:34) - Workbox versus Inbox
• (37:48) - Switching Costs of Changing Behavior
• (40:59) - Revisiting "Inbox Zero" and ADHD
• (45:58) - Apps that make email better

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We all know the moment when we realize we’ve said “yes” too many times. Maybe it’s a blinking cursor. Maybe it’s a half-warm cup of coffee gone cold. Maybe it’s your third attempt to open the same email. But in that moment, something tilts: the awareness that saying yes to one thing has meant saying no to something else… and no one told your brain.

This week on The ADHD Podcast, Pete and Nikki crack open the economic principle of opportunity cost—not in the language of Wall Street, but in the tender, messy vocabulary of ADHD. What happens when our neurological defaults make the unseen costs of our choices invisible? When our brains are wired to chase novelty, to dodge rejection, and to overestimate time like it’s a limitless currency?

Pete revisits the metaphor of the “red line”—a hard truth learned from a boss long ago, now a framework for managing finite energy with zero-based budgeting. Nikki unpacks how ADHD minds experience the psychic toll of every task: the emotional bandwidth, the recovery periods we never account for, the cost of starting something after we finish something else. They offer not only the language for what’s happening beneath the surface—but permission. Permission to stop measuring ourselves against neurotypical expectations. To say “I’m making space for this” instead of “I’m giving up on that.”

If you’ve ever felt the heavy guilt of unmade choices, or the strange sorrow that follows a hard-earned win, you’ll find resonance here. Because at the intersection of ADHD, opportunity, and peace, there’s a small sign that reads: You can stop lying to yourself now. You’re doing just fine.

Links & Resources:

• Download the Opportunity Cost Planning Worksheet
• Join the ADHD community on Discord: takecontroladhd.com/discord
• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (01:42) - Become a Patron at patreon.com/theadhdpodcast
• (02:42) - Opportunity Costs

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We tend to think of memory as a vault—something that, if built correctly, should always open on command. The vault metaphor is tidy, satisfying, and wrong. In truth, memory is more like a three-legged stool balanced precariously on a floor that shifts beneath us. For people with ADHD, that floor isn’t just shifting—it’s often crumbling. And still, we’re asked to sit perfectly still.

This week, we’re joined by Dr. Daniella Karidi—executive coach, cognitive scientist, and founder of ADHDtime—for a conversation that reframes what we know about memory. She maps its steps—encoding, storage, retrieval—and then shows us exactly where, and why, those steps falter in the ADHD brain. What emerges is a picture of fragility—of a system doing its best under conditions for which it was never optimized.

We explore working memory, the critical minute when new information is either transformed into long-term knowledge or simply lost to distraction. We talk about why prospective memory—remembering to do something in the future—is especially difficult for ADHDers, and how most of our strategies fail because they focus on what to remember, not where or when we’ll need to recall it.

But perhaps the most radical idea Daniella offers is this: Forgetting is not failure. It is human. And for ADHD brains, it’s not about being careless or lazy—it’s about a system built for immediacy, not for invisible timekeeping. The key is not to “try harder,” but to scaffold smarter. Memory isn’t a moral issue. It’s an engineering problem.

Daniella shows us how to work with our memory instead of against it, from post-its and memory palaces to understanding state dependence and the power of meaningful cues. This is a conversation for anyone who has ever walked into a room and forgotten why, missed a meeting they cared about, or been told—once again—that they “just need to focus.” If memory has ever felt like a betrayal, this episode is the beginning of forgiveness.

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (01:29) - Support the Show: Become a Patron!
• (02:32) - Introducing Dr. Daniella Karidi

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In this episode of Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast, Pete and Nikki sit down with Dr. Dara Abraham—board-certified psychiatrist, women’s mental health expert, and founder of Dr. Dara Psychiatry—to explore the complicated and under-discussed relationship between ADHD and hormones.

Dr. Dara walks us through the key hormonal transitions across the lifespan—puberty, pregnancy, postpartum, perimenopause, and menopause—and how each stage uniquely disrupts ADHD symptoms and medication effectiveness. She shares why estrogen is your brain’s best friend, how hormonal shifts wreak havoc on dopamine regulation, and why women are so often dismissed when seeking help. From the science of hormone replacement therapy to practical tips for self-advocacy and lifestyle support, this episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating the double whammy of ADHD and hormonal change.

Whether you’re struggling with brain fog, sleep disruptions, or medication that suddenly stopped working—there’s help, there’s hope, and Dr. Dara is here to share it.

Links & Notes

• Adult ADHD Specialist - Dr. Dara's Comprehensive Psychiatry Care | Comprehensive Treatment
• Connect with Dr. Dara on LinkedIn
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database
• Join the ADHD Discord Community
• Become a Patron

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (02:03) - Support The Show: Become a Patron!
• (03:03) - Marker 3
• (03:16) - Introducing Dr. Dara Abraham • Hormones & ADHD

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When you live with ADHD, you might be used to the mental whirlwind — the dopamine chases, the deadline surges, the exhaustion that follows. But for many, there’s a deeper and more insidious battle happening in the background: chronic illness. This week, Pete and Nikki welcome clinical naturopath and passionate advocate Jules Galloway to unpack the tangled web between ADHD, adrenal fatigue, autoimmune conditions, and the gut-brain connection.

Drawing from her own experiences with late-diagnosed ADHD and years of working with neurodivergent clients, Jules explains how chronic stress and inflammation can alter the architecture of the brain, and how burnout isn’t just a buzzword — it’s often a physiological crisis. From cortisol testing and histamine intolerance to why so many ADHDers feel like they’re constantly “wired but tired,” this episode brings clarity and compassion to a deeply misunderstood intersection of mental and physical health.

Jules also shares practical, empowering strategies for healing — from stabilizing blood sugar with protein-rich meals to reducing inflammation through gut health and sustainable lifestyle changes. It’s a conversation full of insight, empathy, and real-world tools for anyone struggling to understand the full-body impact of living with ADHD.

Links & Notes

• Jules Galloway’s website: julesgalloway.com
• 🌿 Get 1 month FREE access to ADHD Naturally (no credit card required): julesgalloway.com/adhd-naturally-freebie
• Follow Jules on social: @julesgallowayhealth
• Join the Taking Control ADHD community on Discord: takecontroladhd.com/discord
• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (01:24) - Learn More! Support the show! Join the Community!
• (02:24) - Introducing Jules Galloway
• (07:35) - ADHD and Chronic Stress
• (10:25) - Inflammation
• (14:17) - Burnout
• (33:21) - Histamine
• (40:57) - Sustainable Wellness wtih ADHD and Chronic Disease
• (51:43) - Learn more and get a gift!

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What happens to ADHD when the scaffolds of career and parenting fade, and we’re left navigating a world that’s quieter, slower… and far less structured?

This week on Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast, Pete and Nikki are joined by one of the most influential voices in ADHD research and advocacy: Dr. Kathleen Nadeau. An internationally recognized expert and the author of 14 books on ADHD, Kathleen is the founder and director of the Chesapeake Center—one of the largest private ADHD specialty clinics in the U.S. Her career has been defined by breaking new ground for underserved ADHD populations, and today she turns our attention to one of the most overlooked groups of all: older adults.

Drawing on extensive research—including interviews with more than 150 individuals for her groundbreaking book Still Distracted After All These Years: Help and Support for Older Adults with ADHD—Kathleen guides us through the realities of aging with ADHD. She brings nuance, humor, and urgency to topics like isolation, structure loss, hormonal shifts, executive dysfunction, and the ADHD tax that shows up in the fine print of Social Security forms and medical claims. We discuss how declining circadian rhythms and deep sleep disruption may connect ADHD to increased dementia risk, and why the U.S. is still lagging behind global standards in using hormone replacement therapy to support cognitive health in aging women with ADHD.

But this conversation isn’t about despair—it’s about reinvention, resilience, and the power of community. Kathleen shares powerful stories of support groups that thrive beyond professional guidance and offers practical strategies for maintaining purpose and mental clarity well into our later years.

If you or someone you love is navigating ADHD after 50, this is the episode that finally speaks to that experience—with candor, compassion, and hard-won insight.

Links & Notes

• Still Distracted After All These Years: Help and Support for Older Adults with ADHD by Dr. Kathleen Nadeau
• The End of Alzheimer’s by Dr. Dale Bredesen
• “The How and Why of Sleep” NIH Video Lecture
• The Chesapeake Center
• The Villages
• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (02:19) - Support the Show at patreon.com/theadhdpodcast
• (02:50) - Introducing Dr. Kathleen Nadeau
• (03:47) - How Does ADHD Evolve as we Age?
• (11:15) - Later Adult Diagnosis
• (20:46) - Hormonal Changes

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What if the relentless chase for productivity isn’t a sign of progress—but a trap?

This week on Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast, Pete and Nikki return to the idea they began exploring with Dr. Ari Tuckman: the Productivity Trap—a psychological cul-de-sac where effort doesn’t equal accomplishment, and perfectionism becomes performance. But this isn’t just about missed deadlines or overloaded to-do lists. It’s about identity. About shame. About what it means to be “enough” in a world that rarely says you are.

From a deceptively simple mantra—“You don’t have to be productive all the time”—springs a story of emotional reckoning. Pete recounts how Nikki’s offhand remark evolved into a viral merch moment, while Nikki shares coaching experiences that reveal the heartbreak (and humor) of managing ADHD in a culture obsessed with output. They dissect the nuance between urgent and important, spotlight how AI can support executive function, and confront the myth that productivity is linear.

This is not a conversation about how to get more done. It’s a conversation about why we believe we must.

Links & Notes

• You Don't Have to Be Productive All the Time
• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (02:07) - Support the Show on Patreon!
• (02:45) - Merch Announcement!
• (05:23) - The Productivity Trap

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It’s not that people with ADHD don’t want to be productive. It’s that they’re often trapped in a paradox: striving to do more, while silently blaming themselves for not doing enough. That tension—between internal ambition and external expectations—is the focus of this conversation with returning guest clinical psychologist Dr. Ari Tuckman.

In this episode, Ari joins Pete and Nikki to explore the deep psychology of productivity, the social pressure to “look busy,” and the subtle ways perfectionism becomes a form of avoidance. Along the way, they discuss the myth of the perfect planner, why your to-do list is lying to you, and what happens when you finally admit you just don’t want to do the thing. With humor, heart, and a healthy dose of hard-earned insight, Ari introduces lessons from his new book, The ADHD Productivity Manual, revealing how managing productivity starts not with apps or alarms—but with radical honesty.

Because the real challenge isn’t doing more—it’s knowing what matters enough to do at all.

Links & Notes

• The ADHD Productivity Manual by Ari Tuckman, Psy.D
• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (01:41) - The Productivity Trap with Ari Tuckman
• (02:50) - The ADHD Productivity Manual by Ari Tuckman
• (04:41) - Where is the ADHD Productivity Groove?
• (21:33) - Perfectionism
• (25:27) - Getting Clear
• (28:01) - "I don't wanna"

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Imagine your brain as a control room. On most days, the switches flick and the dials turn just as they should. But then something small—an unanswered text, a missed deadline, a critical glance—trips the wrong lever. Suddenly, that control room is submerged. The signals blur. The system floods.

This week on Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast, Pete and Nikki sit down with two returning champions of clarity and compassion: Dr. Sharon Saline and Dr. Dodge Rea. Together, they unravel the hidden mechanics of emotional flooding—not as a character flaw, but as a neurological response shaped by fear, history, and a sometimes-overzealous amygdala.

Through stories, science, and metaphor (including rogue trains and Wile E. Coyote’s ill-fated cliff dives), they reveal what happens when the ADHD brain short-circuits under pressure—and what we can actually do about it. Along the way, you’ll learn how shame disguises itself as control, how the body signals what the mind can’t process, and why sometimes the most strategic thing you can do is… go to the bathroom.

This is a conversation about reframing of the narrative so many ADHD adults carry with them: that being overwhelmed means being broken. It doesn’t. It never did.

Links & Notes

• Learn more about Dr. Sharon Saline: drsharonsaline.com
• Learn more about Dr. Dodge Rea: dodgerea.com
• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast
• (01:41) - Support the Show: Become a Patron Today https://patreon.com/theadhdpodcast
• (03:22) - Emotional Flooding with Dr. Sharon Saline and Dr. Dodge Rea
• (22:19) - The Consequences
• (25:53) - Is Emotional Flooding a sort of Trance?
• (29:35) - The Regulation and Recovery Process
• (41:03) - The Five C's
• (45:33) - The g.r.a.c.e. Sequence

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There’s a moment—maybe you’ve lived it—when the email goes unanswered, the dishwasher remains unloaded, the phone rings but your hand doesn’t move. You’re not tired. You’re not lazy. You’re just… stuck.

We call it overwhelm. But what if that word is too small? What if what you’re feeling is your brain's way of saying, This system is not working for me?

In this episode of our Duos series, we bring together two people who have spent their careers listening to the quiet, misunderstood signals of ADHD: Dr. Tamara Rosier, author of Your Brain’s Not Broken and You, Me, and Our ADHD Family, and Brooke Schnittman, author of Activate Your ADHD Potential.

Tamara talks about emotional flooding—those tidal waves of feeling that hit before a single task is done. Brooke explains how to pause just long enough to choose a different direction. Together, they unpack why ADHD-related overwhelm isn’t a sign of failure, but a clue. A trailhead. A door.

Because maybe, just maybe, the problem isn’t that your brain is broken. Maybe it’s that the world was built for a different kind of mind. Maybe the first step isn’t pushing through. It’s listening.

📚 Links & Notes

• Your Brain’s Not Broken by Dr. Tamara Rosier
• You, Me, and Our ADHD Family by Dr. Tamara Rosier
• Activate Your ADHD Potential by Brooke Schnittman
• Coaching With Brooke
• ADHD Center of West Michigan
• Guided IFS Therapy Session / Exercise for Inner Healing | Dr. Richard Schwartz & Dr. Andrew Huberman
• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (02:47) - Introducing Brooke Schnittman and Tamara Rosier
• (04:50) - Overwhelm
• (20:28) - Techniques to Break The Pattern
• (44:13) - Learn More!

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Shame is a formidable force—an emotional wildfire that can either illuminate our path to growth or consume us in cycles of self-blame. For individuals with ADHD, this complex emotion is often amplified, lingering far beyond its utility as a corrective signal. But why? And more importantly, how do we break free?

This week on The ADHD Podcast, hosts Pete Wright and Nikki Kinzer embark on an exploration of shame spirals with two powerhouse guests: James Ochoa, LPC, renowned ADHD pathfinder and author of Focused Forward: Navigating the Storms of Adult ADHD, and Dr. Nachi Felt, an ADHD specialist and professor at Columbia University where he teaches Psychopathology and helps direct the Cognition and Neuroscience Research Lab.

Together, they dissect the neurobiology of shame, its insidious tendency to hijack our presence of mind, and the ways in which ADHD uniquely intensifies its grip. James and Nachi offer profound insights into the role of self-awareness, self-acceptance, and the often-overlooked power of resourcing—the practice of cultivating internal and external tools to navigate emotional turbulence.

From the interplay of trauma and shame to the game-changing realization that the same agency that allows us to sit in shame also allows us to stand up and move forward, this conversation is both a course in emotional resilience and a rallying cry for self-compassion.

With humor, wisdom, and a touch of Brooklyn-style candor, this episode invites you to challenge your inner narratives, embrace the possibility of rewriting your personal stories, and ultimately, reclaim your incredible sense of self-worth.

Resources & Links:

• Take Control ADHD Discord Community
• Support the Podcast on Patreon
• James Ochoa’s Work & Books
• Dr. Nachi Felt’s ADHD Resources
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (01:53) - Support the Show!
• (04:21) - The Nature of Shame Spirals

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There’s an inflection point when technology shifts from novelty to necessity. The printing press. The telephone. The internet. And now, artificial intelligence. For those with ADHD, the rise of AI presents an especially tantalizing paradox: a tool that promises to sharpen focus and streamline tasks, yet one that, if wielded carelessly, could just as easily become another source of distraction.

In this episode of The ADHD Podcast, Pete Wright and Nikki Kinzer take us into the heart of the paradox. They begin with a simple but profound question: How do we make AI work for us, rather than the other way around?

It starts with a refresher on prompt engineering—the art of structuring AI queries with precision. It’s not unlike training a dog. Give vague instructions, and you’ll get unpredictable results. But with the right prompts, AI can become an invaluable assistant, distilling complex information, organizing thoughts, and even generating study guides.

But then comes the tension. The unease. The creeping realization that AI—like all powerful tools—has a darker side. What of the Paperclip Problem, a thought experiment that suggests AI, if left unchecked, could optimize itself into oblivion, consuming all available resources (including us) in its relentless pursuit of efficiency. Far out? There are those who argue not so far as you think.

The conversation then shifts to the Goldilocks Zone—that elusive middle ground where AI enhances productivity without eroding autonomy. Pete shares his meticulously curated AI toolkit: Perplexity AI for research, Grammarly for writing, TextExpander for automation, and Adobe Voice Enhancer for audio clarity. Each tool, when used correctly, reduces cognitive load. But over-reliance? That’s where the danger lies.

By the end of the discussion, one thing becomes clear: AI is neither savior nor saboteur. It is a mirror, reflecting back the habits and intentions of its user. The question isn’t whether AI will replace us—it won’t. The real question is: Will we use AI to become more of who we are, or will we let it decide that for us?

Links & Notes

• Perplexity AI – AI-powered research assistant
• Poe.com – Multi-model AI chat platform
• Grammarly – AI-enhanced writing assistant
• Adobe Voice Enhancer – AI-driven audio clarity tool
• Coda.io – AI-integrated database management
• Join our Discord community
• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (03:06) - Prompt Engineering
• (12:52) - The Problem with AI
• (19:09) - The Goldilocks Zone
• (23:00) - Some Tools
• (26:03) - Gell-Mann Amnesia

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Artificial intelligence is everywhere—shaping how we work, think, and even how we manage our ADHD. But is AI a game-changing cognitive assistant or just another digital white whale primed to swallow our focus whole?

This week, Pete Wright and his AI-curious co-pilot Nikki Kinzer embark on tour of ADHD and AI. With AI tools evolving at a dizzying pace, the duo explores how these technologies can either empower or derail neurodivergent minds.

Throughout the episode, they share some of the tools making waves in the ADHD community, from AI-powered task managers like Motion and Reclaim to text-based assistants like ChatGPT and Claude. They also unpack the critical distinction between AI as a thought partner versus an unreliable oracle—one that is often confidently wrong.

But AI isn't just about efficiency. Pete and Nikki probe the philosophical and ethical dilemmas AI presents: Is AI truly augmenting human potential, or are we handing over too much cognitive agency to machines?

Links & Notes

• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database
• Join the ADHD Discord community
• Explore AI tools we talked about on the show
  • Motion AI
  • Reclaim AI
  • Todoist AI
  • Notion AI
  • Coda
  • Poe AI
  • Perplexity AI
  • Brain.fm

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (02:41) - Support the Show: Become A Patron!
• (04:35) - AI
• (09:05) - ADHD & Your AI Sidekick
• (12:37) - AI Models
• (19:22) - Sidebar: Perplexity AI
• (21:48) - AI Tools

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Friendship. It’s a word that evokes warmth, nostalgia, and—if we’re honest—a twinge of confusion. Because once upon a time, it was effortless. A shared lunch, a game of tag, and suddenly, a best friend was born. But then, something happened. Adulthood. And with it came the slow realization that making and keeping friends isn’t just harder—it’s an entirely different proposition.

We've heard the lamentations before: Why is this so difficult? Why do friendships slip away? Why does it feel like rejection when it’s just… life? Enter Caroline Maguire. She is no stranger to the complexities of human connection. A coach, a teacher, and the award-winning author of Why Will No One Play with Me?, Caroline has made it her life’s work to decode the unspoken rules of friendship—especially for those with ADHD.

Today, she returns to the podcast with answers and a roadmap. What if the secret to adult friendships isn’t just about finding the right people, but about understanding the invisible structures that hold relationships together? What if the problem isn’t you, but the way we misjudge who is truly a friend? What if, in our rush to connect, we’re skipping the essential steps that turn acquaintance into ally?

From the hidden psychology of trust to the overlooked power of consistency, this episode pulls back the curtain on the friendships we crave—and the ones we lose. Pete wrestles with the ghosts of old friendships, Nikki examines the seasons of connection, and Caroline offers not just wisdom, but action. Because friendship, like any great endeavor, requires more than just longing. It requires intention.

Links & Notes

• Caroline Maguire on Instagram: @authorcarolinem
• Why Will No One Play With Me? by Caroline Maguire
• Join the Taking Control: The ADHD Discord Community
• Support the Show on Patreon

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (02:20) - Support the Show: Become a Patron.. Please? :)
• (03:05) - Introducing Caroline Maguire
• (04:20) - What makes a friend?
• (10:32) - Different Friends for Different Seasons
• (25:50) - Anxious Over-correction
• (28:27) - How Apps Change Friend-finding
• (33:58) - What do we do?
• (45:32) - Learn More

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What if the very quality that makes those early, intoxicating moments of romance so vibrant—the spontaneous weekend getaway, the surprise bouquet of flowers—later becomes the source of relationship friction? The human brain, particularly one wired with ADHD, contains multitudes of contradictions, and nowhere is this more evident than in how impulsivity shapes our intimate partnerships.

This week on the show, relationship expert Melissa Orlov peels back the layers of impulsive behavior in ADHD relationships with Pete Wright and Nikki Kinzer. Pete's personal confession—renting a convertible for a romantic coastal drive during courtship, then later purchasing an entire car during what should have been a routine oil change—illuminates the Jekyll-and-Hyde nature of impulsivity that Melissa has observed in thousands of couples.

"It came from somewhere," Melissa notes of impulsive words and actions that wound our partners. But where? The answer lies in a neurological tightrope walk between present-moment reward and long-term relationship consequences. The ADHD partner experiences the euphoria of now, while their significant other bears witness to the aftermath, creating an asymmetrical emotional experience that compounds over time.

What of verbal impulsivity—those cutting remarks that can never be unsaid? Melissa offers a revelation that ADHD partners are "blessed with the ability to move on quickly," while non-ADHD partners ruminate, creating relationship dissonance long after the moment has passed.

Let us take our cues from Melissa's "verbal cues," pattern interrupters in relationship conflict. The deliberate absurdity of an agreed-upon word like "hamburger" or "aardvark" serves as a circuit breaker during emotional escalation—a linguistic tool that transcends the heat of argument to preserve relationship integrity. It's a Safe Word, but for your ADHD.

This is an invitation to understand how neurological differences fundamentally shape our perception of time, commitment, and connection—and how awareness of these differences might just be the greatest relationship skill we can develop.

Links & Notes

• ADHD Marriage
• Intent to Action Membership Program
• The ADHD Effect on Marriage
• The Couple's Guide to Thriving with ADHD
• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast
• (01:23) - Support the Show! Become a Patron!
• (02:24) - Introducing Melissa Orlov
• (07:42) - Auto-Impulsivity
• (10:16) - Impulsivity is Not a Monolith
• (13:22) - How We Fight
• (16:06) - Trust & Boundaries
• (19:54) - Fidelity
• (21:27) - Breaking out of Impulsive Patterns in Relationships
• (26:00) - Collaborating with the Non-Impulsive Partner
• (32:03) - Transparency
• (35:08) - Emotional Dysregulation & Verbal Cues
• (42:14) - Learn more about Melissa's work

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Imagine two people standing on opposite sides of a canyon. One, tethered to the rhythms of neurotypical expectation—cause and effect, action and consequence—a world in which forgotten keys are just that: forgotten keys. The other, moving through a landscape of impulsivity, of fractured attention, of a thousand micro-failures that feel, at times, like an existential indictment. They love each other. They try to reach across the chasm. But the bridge they need is invisible.

This week on The ADHD Podcast, Pete Wright and Nikki Kinzer embark on a three-part exploration into ADHD and relationships. Their guide this first week: Jonathan Hassall, an ADHD and executive function coach with a background in psychiatric nursing and ADHD research. Jonathan has spent years decoding the paradoxes that arise when ADHD meets the relentless machinery of relationships.

Why do partners of those with ADHD feel unheard? Why does an innocuous comment about condiments over lunch spiral into a silent war? Why do people with ADHD sometimes feel like perpetual disappointments in the eyes of those they love? And is there a way—a real, tangible way—to undo the corrosive misunderstandings that accumulate over years, even decades?

Jonathan argues that the real problem isn’t ADHD itself. It’s adaptation—or rather, the failure to adapt. The rules of engagement in relationships often assume a kind of neurological symmetry that simply doesn’t exist when one or both partners have ADHD. And when partners misinterpret behavior—when forgetfulness looks like indifference, when emotional reactivity looks like hostility—the result is a slow erosion of trust.

But what if there were another way? A way to recalibrate, to assume goodwill, to dismantle the myths and rebuild a foundation not on correction, but on understanding? From the science of emotional regulation to the power of a single moment of grace, Pete, Nikki, and Jonathan dissect the anatomy of ADHD relationships and ask the most fundamental question of all: What does it take to be truly seen?

Links & Resources:

• Jonathan’s book: Decoding Doing
• Learn more about Jonathan Hassall’s work at ConnectADHD Coaching
• Join the ADHD community on Discord: TakeControlADHD.com/discord
• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to The ADHD Podcast
• (01:44) - Support the Show on Discord, Socials and Patreon!
• (02:42) - Introducing Jonathan Hassall
• (03:38) - ADHD & Relationships

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ADHD doesn’t just complicate relationships—it shapes them. From romantic partnerships to friendships, family dynamics, and workplace interactions, the traits of inattention, impulsivity, and hyperactivity ripple across every connection. Romantic relationships often bear the brunt, with ADHD symptoms leading to miscommunication, frustration, and even intimacy challenges. Couples may struggle with mismatched libidos, impulsive behaviors, or emotional dysregulation, but understanding ADHD’s role can transform these struggles into opportunities for deeper connection.

Family and professional relationships, too, are affected. ADHD parents often wrestle with providing structure or consistent discipline, creating chaotic home environments that strain relationships with children and partners. At work, impulsivity, time management issues, and difficulty following through on commitments can complicate team dynamics and career growth. Socially, the ADHD brain’s challenges with focus and emotional regulation can lead to feelings of rejection or isolation, making it harder to build and sustain friendships.

The science behind these struggles lies in the ADHD brain itself. Impaired dopamine regulation impacts empathy, social cognition, and emotional recognition, all of which play critical roles in relationships. Comorbid conditions like anxiety, depression, or substance use disorders further complicate matters, while genetic factors often ripple across generations, creating patterns of behavior that shape family and social dynamics. But the good news? With the right diagnosis, treatment, and tools, ADHDers can overcome these challenges and thrive in their relationships.

In this episode, Nikki Kinzer and Pete Wright explore the intersection of ADHD and relationships, unpacking the science, the stories, and the strategies that foster connection. From structured communication techniques to empathy-building exercises, they offer actionable advice to help ADHDers and their loved ones navigate challenges and unlock the unique strengths ADHD brings to relationships. Whether you’re navigating romance, family life, or professional interactions, this episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking to better understand ADHD’s role in human connection.

Links & Notes

• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (03:13) - ADHD Relationships

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Emotional dysregulation is one of ADHD’s most disruptive yet overlooked symptoms. It’s not just a passing mood or a fleeting frustration. For those with ADHD, emotions can spiral into sudden waves of intensity—anger, hurt, joy, or anxiety—seemingly out of nowhere. This week, Nikki and Pete explore the science and strategies behind this turbulent experience, offering insights to help listeners navigate its challenges.

At its core, emotional dysregulation is the brain’s difficulty managing emotions effectively. The overactive amygdala—the emotional alarm center—reacts strongly, while the underactive prefrontal cortex struggles to rein it in. When dopamine levels are low, the prefrontal cortex can’t regulate the amygdala, resulting in overwhelming emotional reactions. These aren’t just limited to anger or sadness; moments of extreme joy, excitement, or frustration can also feel uncontainable.

And then we have our dear friend, Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), a particularly painful form of emotional dysregulation. RSD amplifies the sting of perceived rejection or criticism to an intense, often unbearable level. These emotional wounds, though short-lived, can ripple through relationships, self-esteem, and productivity. Many people find themselves stuck in cycles of avoidance, self-doubt, and shame, all of which undermine their ability to connect with others and move forward in their lives.

But there is hope. It turns out there are actually actionable strategies to manage emotional dysregulation, from mindfulness practices and therapy to building awareness of emotional triggers. Simple steps, like labeling emotions, taking deep breaths, or stepping away to reset, can make a real difference. For some, professional help, whether through coaching, medication, or therapy, provides essential tools to regain emotional balance and build resilience.

This episode sheds light on a hidden aspect of ADHD that affects everything from relationships to self-esteem. It’s a reminder that while emotional dysregulation is challenging, it’s also manageable with the right tools, support, and understanding.

Links & Notes

• ADDitude: Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria and Emotional Dysregulation
• Beyond BookSmart: ADHD and Emotional Dysregulation
• Emotion dysregulation and right pars orbitalis constitute a neuropsychological pathway to attention deficit hyperactivity disorder
• Uncovering the Roots and Evolution of Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria - Neurodivergent Insights
• Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria and ADHD with Dr. William Dodson — Take Control ADHD
• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (02:00) - Support the Show: Become a Patron at patreon.com/theadhdpodcast
• (03:51) - Emotional Dysregulation
• (14:50) - The RSD Connection
• (20:17) - So... what do you do?

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Why is making a decision sometimes the hardest thing in the world? For those with ADHD, the labyrinth of choices can feel impossibly complex. Each twist and turn demands attention and energy—resources that are already stretched thin. This week Nikki and Pete peel back the layers of decision-making through the ADHD lens, unraveling why such a seemingly simple act can feel like scaling a mountain.

At the heart of it lies one of ADHD’s most challenging riddles: the executive functions. These are the mental tools we use to plan, prioritize, organize, and remember, but for those with ADHD, these tools often feel dull or misplaced. Enter the paradox of choice. Too many options? Paralysis. Too much time? Overthinking. Too little time? Impulsivity. Each scenario is riddled with traps.

Decision-making with ADHD is an art, not a science. It’s messy, it’s nonlinear, and it requires flexibility and self-compassion. Join Nikki and Pete as they navigate this intricate process, offering insights, stories, and strategies to help you make decisions that feel right—without the second-guessing, the self-doubt, or the endless spiral of overthinking.

Links & Notes

• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (02:26) - Become a Patron • Support the Show!
• (03:28) - Decisions, Decisions, Decisions!
• (26:24) - This is the How-To Part

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What happens when life throws you off course? The meeting runs late, the pipes freeze, or the day crumbles before it even begins. For most people, problem-solving is instinctive. For those with ADHD, however, it’s a far more complex process—one filled with creativity, frustration, and unpredictability.

This week, Nikki and Pete explore the unique challenges and strengths of ADHD-powered problem-solving. The ADHD brain can shine in adversity, using creativity and hyperfocus to tackle unconventional problems. But it also struggles with all-or-nothing thinking, freezing under pressure, emotional overwhelm, and the need for more time to process situations.

Nikki and Pete offer practical strategies to navigate these challenges. Start by clearly identifying the problem without spiraling into blame or “what-ifs.” Ask yourself: Is this my problem to solve? Often, the stress you carry isn’t yours to fix. Once you know the answer, reframe and readjust—communicate, prioritize, and take action, no matter how small.

The episode also emphasizes mindset shifts. Acceptance isn’t giving up; it’s understanding that plans change and perfection is unattainable. Letting go of unnecessary blame and giving yourself grace are keys to moving forward. Nikki and Pete share insights from Dr. Edward Hallowell and discuss the importance of pausing to regulate emotions before tackling problems.

Finally, they highlight the power of talking it out. Verbal processing can help you hear your thoughts, shift your perspective, and uncover solutions you didn’t see before.

This is just the beginning. Next week, Nikki and Pete will dive into decision-making, showing you how to choose wisely, even in chaos. For now, this episode is your guide to shifting gears, embracing your ADHD brain, and solving problems with creativity and resilience.

Links & Notes

• CrazyBusy by Dr. Edward Hallowell, The ADHD Serenity Prayer, Google Books
• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (01:50) - Support the Show: Become a Patron!
• (03:06) - Problem-Solving
• (22:28) - This quote is from CrazyBusy by Dr. Hallowell. We found it after the fact.

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WARNING: This episode contains discussions of youth bullying and suicide.

What does it mean to transform heartbreak into hope? For Tony and Cassi Bellezza, the loss of their son Anthony was not the end of his story—it was the beginning of a mission. Anthony, a vibrant and compassionate child who lived with ADHD, inspired those around him with his unique ability to see the world through a lens of kindness. But his journey wasn’t without challenges: navigating school accommodations, transitioning between educational systems, facing bullying, and finding outlets for his passions.

In this episode of The ADHD Podcast, hosts Nikki Kinzer and Pete Wright sit down with Tony and Cassi to explore the roots of Anthony’s Way - The Road to Kindness, the non-profit they founded to honor their son. They discuss how Anthony’s struggle—and his empathy—became the foundation for a program designed to help children and teens with ADHD not just survive, but thrive.

From the challenges of private school 504 plans to the life-changing impact of extracurricular activities, Tony and Cassi share personal stories of advocacy, resilience, and the profound importance of kindness. They also dive into the organization’s innovative Holistic Care Model, their Kindness Scholarship program, and the transformative power of community support.

This is a conversation about ADHD, yes—but it’s also about legacy. It’s about how one family took their pain and turned it into a movement. And it’s a reminder that kindness isn’t just a value—it’s a roadmap to something greater.

Links & Notes

• Learn more about Anthony’s Way - The Road to Kindness
• Sign up for the Road to Kindness Event
• Second Annual Walk for Kindness: February
• Support the organization
• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (03:15) - Anthony's Way—The Road to Kindness

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We’ve all been there, haven’t we? Stuck. Not physically stuck, mind you, but mentally ensnared. Trapped in a linguistic labyrinth of our own making. For those of us navigating the intricate pathways of ADHD, this feeling of confinement can be particularly acute. It's a subtle trap, often disguised in the seemingly innocuous words we use – words like "just" and "only." These linguistic termites, seemingly insignificant on their own, can gnaw at the foundations of our self-worth, leaving us feeling perpetually inadequate.

Think about it. How often have you dismissed your accomplishments with a self-deprecating "Oh, it was just a small project"? Or downplayed your efforts with an apologetic "I only managed to get half of it done"? These seemingly harmless qualifiers, these verbal tics, are more potent than they appear. They're the building blocks of what Nikki and Pete call out as the "Language of Limitation."

In this episode of The ADHD Podcast, they explore the hidden architecture of this linguistic prison. They explore how these self-limiting phrases, often echoes of childhood pronouncements and internalized criticisms, shape our perceptions and perpetuate a cycle of negative self-talk. It's an exploration of the power of language – how the words we use, both internally and externally, can either liberate or confine us. The pull apart the mechanics of reframing with strategies to dismantle the limiting narratives we’ve constructed around ourselves. They explore the art of mindful communication, offering techniques to navigate the often-treacherous terrain of social interactions.

Language is a tool, and like any tool, it can be used to build or to destroy. Join Nikki and Pete as they illuminate the path toward linguistic liberation, one "just" and "only" at a time. It's a journey worth taking.

Links & Notes

• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (03:05) - Join the Community!
• (04:09) - The Language of Limitation
• (22:45) - Structured Journaling

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What if, instead of chasing perfection, we celebrated progress? What if the courage it takes to live with ADHD wasn’t just acknowledged but honored? This week on The ADHD Podcast, Nikki Kinzer and Pete Wright (Nikki and Pete) challenge us to pause, reflect, and rewrite the stories we tell ourselves. This isn’t about doing more or trying harder—it’s about recognizing the monumental effort ADHDers put into simply existing in a world that often misunderstands them.

Here’s the truth: ADHD is not a character flaw. It’s not your fault. It’s real, complex, and challenging. Yet, too often, those with ADHD dismiss their victories, minimize their strengths, and shoulder blame that isn’t theirs. Nikki and Pete remind us that this cycle of self-criticism—those loud should statements and limiting beliefs—isn’t helping.

Living with ADHD takes courage, adaptability, and resilience. But ADHDers rarely give themselves credit for what they do accomplish. This episode is a rallying cry to celebrate just that—everything you’ve already done, no matter how small it seems.

Because:

• Progress, not perfection, is what matters.
• Resting counts.
• Lowering expectations isn’t giving up—it’s being realistic and kind.
• Asking for help shows wisdom, not weakness.

And above all, ADHD is something you have, not who you are.

This isn’t about celebrating accomplishments. It’s about rejecting perfectionism, reframing expectations, and creating a mindset that allows you to thrive. ADHD doesn’t define you, but it does shape how you live—and that’s something to honor.

So pause. Recognize your efforts. Celebrate what you do. You’ve got this.

Links & Notes

• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (03:50) - Celebrating What We Do

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In episode 3001, Nikki and Pete embark on a journey into the heart of the "try-hard trap." It's a familiar snare, isn't it? That relentless, gnawing feeling that we're not doing enough, that we should be doing more. That we're perpetually falling short of some invisible, yet omnipresent, standard.

Pete and Nikki explore the insidious ways in which societal pressures, internalized expectations, and the ever-present lure of FOMO (fear of missing out) conspire to keep us perpetually spinning on the hamster wheel of "trying harder." But what if, just what if, the key to unlocking our potential lies not in more effort, but in less? What if, as Pete suggests, true progress comes from letting go of the illusion of control, the unattainable ideal of perfection, and the corrosive power of self-criticism?

This isn't about surrendering to inertia, sinking into the couch, and embracing a life of indolence. Far from it. It's about recognizing the inherent limitations of our ADHD brains, and working with them, not against them. It's about embracing "good enough" as a legitimate, even laudable, achievement. It's about finding a sustainable pace, setting realistic expectations, and celebrating the small victories along the way.

Nikki offers practical strategies for navigating the try-hard trap. She emphasizes the importance of self-awareness, understanding our individual energy rhythms, and communicating our needs to others. It's about recognizing that disappointing people is sometimes necessary, even healthy. It's about prioritizing self-care, setting boundaries, and recognizing that we are ultimately responsible for our own well-being.

Links & Notes

• Buy the Book! Unapologetically ADHD is Available Now
• Find us on Bluesky! @TakeControlADHD • @PeteWright • @NKinzer
• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (06:07) - The ADHD Try-Hard Trap
• (15:04) - What We Mean by Letting Go

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Clutter. It's the silent scream of the modern age. A creeping accumulation of stuff that somehow, insidiously, steals not just our physical space, but our mental bandwidth, too. We’re drowning in it, folks. Drowning in a sea of forgotten birthday presents, impulse buys gathering dust, and that project – that project – we swore we’d finish… someday. Sound familiar? It should. Because this isn’t just about messy desks and overflowing closets. This is about cognitive overload, the subtle but persistent drain on our executive functions that leaves us feeling scattered, overwhelmed, and perpetually behind.

On this episode of Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast, Nikki and Pete dive headfirst into decluttering, exploring the peculiar relationship between our stuff and our sanity. They unpack the surprising statistics – the sheer volume of possessions we rarely use, the days of our lives lost searching for misplaced keys – and dissect the emotional baggage that comes with letting go. It’s a struggle many of us know all too well: the guilt, the shame, the nagging feeling that we should be more organized.

Think of this episode as a cognitive cleanse, a much-needed decluttering of your mental attic. It's a conversation that will resonate with anyone who has ever felt the weight of their possessions, the insidious creep of clutter, and the liberating potential of a clean slate. Join Nikki and Pete as they navigate the messy, often emotional, but ultimately rewarding journey of taking control of your space, your time, and your mind.

When you’re ready, join us for the 2025 Declutter Challenge!

Links & Notes

• Support the Show on Patreon
• Dig into the podcast Shownotes Database

• (00:00) - Welcome to Taking Control: The ADHD Podcast
• (03:05) - Discord! Patreon! More ADHD Fun!
• (04:25) - It's Decluttering Season!