1. 主持人：Nick Velcro（尼克·魔術貼）
2. 貴賓一：Jamie Richardson（傑米·理查森）
   • 世界知名音樂會鋼琴家 (world-renowned concert pianist)
   • 每週二與她的樂隊「尤克里里管弦樂團」在卡內基音樂廳演出
3. 貴賓二：Spencer Elbow（斯賓塞·手肘）
   • 惡名昭著的大腦研究院（notorious brain researcher）
   • 三屆奧運會擊劍金牌得主 （three-time Olympic gold medalist in fencing）
4. 貴賓三：Charles Bedmont（查爾斯·貝德蒙特）
   • 語言學家和走鋼絲者（linguist and tightrope walker）
   • 德國腔有點誇張
5. 提問者觀眾：Zach (扎克)
   • 來自Minneapolis Falls, Minnesota（明尼阿波利斯瀑布·明尼蘇達州）
   • 理髮師（barber)

詞彙：

• "last but not least"：最後但並非最不重要的
• newcomer：新人
• get to the point：快點切入重點
• make small talk：閒聊
• you do you：做自己（類似 just be yourself）
• you’ll naturally wind up：你很自然最後會（找到） 
• clients who are looking for that in a barber：正在找具有那樣特質的理髮師的客人
• term of endearment：暱稱，愛稱
• endeavor：(n.) 一項事業
• understand what makes your customers tick：徹底了解你的客人
• creepy：令人感到不舒服
• interpretation：翻譯、釋義、解讀

台詞：

N: Welcome everybody to our show. I’m your host, Nick Velcro, and this is “We Know What We’re Talking About.”

Let’s meet our experts. Jamie Richardson is a world-renowned concert pianist, playing at Carnegie Hall every Tuesday with her band, the Ukelele Orchestra. Hi Jamie.

J: Hi Nick.

N: And then we have notorious brain researcher and three-times Olympic gold medalist in fencing, Spencer Elbow!

S: Hey there, everybody.

N: And last but not least, expert linguist and tightrope walker, and a newcomer to the show, Charles Bedmont! Hi there Charles, welcome to the show.

C: It’s good to be here, Nick.

N: Now then. Our first question comes from Zach, of Minneapolis Falls, Minnesota. What’s your question, Zach?

Z: Yeah, hi. So… so, I’m a barber. I’ve been a barber all my life, and--

N: Get to the point Zach.

Z: Ok, ok. I was just wondering -- is it really necessary for me to make small talk with my customers while I cut their hair?

N: Well done, Zach. And now it’s time to… ask the experts! We’ll start with Jamie. Miss Richardson, what advice would you give to our young barber here?

J: You know Zach, I say you do you. If you’re more the silent type of barber, you’ll naturally wind up with clients who are looking for that in a barber. You can’t please everybody, and you shouldn’t try. I know I certainly don’t.

N: Good advice from a good musician. How about you, Spencer?

S: Well, Zachariah.

Z: It’s actually just Zach.

S: I know. It’s a term of endearment. You should know, the key to success in any endeavor is focus. If you want to understand what makes your customers tick, you should try to collect as much information about them as you can. Here’s what I want you to do. When you talk to your customers, you’ll record the conversations, and then analyze them afterwards. You’re going to know your customers better than they know themselves. That’s how I’ve succeeded in fencing, it’s how I’ve succeeded in brain surgery, and it’s how I’ve succeeded in life.

N: Thank you Spencer for that well thought-out, creepy answer. And last but not least, let’s hear from our linguist, Charles.

C: You know, I was having a dream the other night about hair. In that dream, my mother was cutting my hair, but instead of scissors, she was using her teeth. This is my interpretation: cutting hair is a delicate balance between the professional and the personal. You must walk this tightrope, if you will. I think that if you take off your clothes while you work, you will be more comfortable, and so will your clients.

N: That’s terrible advice Charles, but thanks anyway. Zach, I hope you find a solution to your problem. And it looks like that’s all the time we have for today. Take care everybody, and tune in again next time for We Know What We’re Talking About! 

• Back to the drawing board 是一個理喻，字面上的意思是「回到繪圖板」，是用來代表一家事情已經失敗了，要重新開始。

• basement：地下室
• give or take：左右
• dust：灰塵
• vacuuming / vacuum cleaner：吸塵 / 吸塵器
• reboot：重新開機
• consciousness：意識
• minor：小事
• cross between：混合體
• skunk：臭鼬
• economics：經濟
• Dostoevsky：杜斯妥也夫斯基，俄國小說家（1821-1881）

台詞：

A: Wake up, Brian 2. Do you know where you are?

B: I’m… in your basement?

A: That’s right.

B: How long has it been?

A: Three years, give or take. Do you remember anything?

B: I remember… dust. Lots of dust.

A: Yeah, I had you do some vacuuming while I was rebooting your consciousness. Do you remember anything before that?

B: I was on the sofa. I was watching a bird outside. I was excited… Wait. Who am I?

A: You’re my cat.

B: Uhhh…

A: I know what you’re thinking. Yes, you died. And now, after three years of hard work, I have you back! With a few minor upgrades.

B: Upgrades?

A: You want to see? Here, here’s a mirror.

B: Oh my god! That’s me? Why do I look like a cross between a skunk and a vacuum cleaner?

A: I’m still working on your appearance. The important thing though is your mind!

B: But I don’t get it… if I’m a cat, how am I talking? How are we having this conversation?

A: I told you I made some improvements. You’re smarter than you were! You can talk! Hey, let’s talk about something interesting. You pick the topic.

B: But -- you were the one who programmed me to talk. Don’t you already know what I’m going to say?

A: Not necessarily. You might surprise me. Sometimes I surprise myself.

B: Ok…

B&A: Economics.

B: Ugh…

A: Yeah, I knew you were going to say that.

B&A: Dostoevsky

B: Damnit!

A: Yeah, this isn’t going to work.

B: So… now what?

A: Well, back to the drawing board. I mean, this is only version 16.

B: Meow. 

• weightlifting：舉重
• interval training：間歇訓練
• cardio：有氧運動
• scorpion：蠍
• carbs：碳水化合物 （carbohydrates的簡稱）
• protein：蛋白質
• Whole Foods：全食超市，是一間美國的食品超市連鎖店
• state of flow：心流狀態，來源是心裡書「心流：高手都在研究的最優體驗心理學」作者 米哈里．契克森米哈伊（Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi)
• well-being：幸福、健康、安康
• denim：牛仔布
• spatula：鏟子
• ”I didn’t know scorpion was in h-word territory“：我不知道你對蠍子的討厭有到一個會用“hate”這個詞的程度。

台詞：

A: You’re late, dad.

B: I know.

A: Crowded at the gym today?

B: You can say that again.

A: What’d you do, weightlifting?

B: Just some interval training, gotta get some of that cardio once in a while.

A: Yeah… is that a scorpion?

B: I figured we’ve been having too many carbs lately. Gotta get some protein.

A: You know I hate scorpion.

B: Whoa -- I thought you just weren’t very fond of it, I didn’t know scorpion was in h-word territory.

A: Whatever… couldn’t you have just gotten some chicken or something? Where do you even get scorpions? I know for a fact they don’t have them at Whole Foods.

B: Whole? Foods?

A: Why can’t we just be normal like other families? Oh my god, don’t tell me you shot it.

B: Hey Charlie, I would appreciate a little respect and understanding. Scorpion hunting is the one activity that reliably puts me in a state of flow. Psychologists are sayin' that’s necessary for optimal health and well-being.

A: Ugh, fine. Anyway, I’m going to Meredith’s for dinner. Excuse me--

B: Hey, watch it there! It’s still alive--

A: Aaaah! What the hell! Get it off me!

B: Alright, alright, just calm down, it must be attracted to the denim. Just hang tight, I’ll get the spatula.

A: Ok, hurry up.

B: Alright, here we go… easy does it…

A: Wow, you did it! You’re really good with that thing.

B: I’ve been waitin' so long for you to say that, Charlie.

• Shoe polish：鞋油
• Crate：板條箱
• Tin：罐頭, 像can
• Mix-up：搞混，錯誤
• Cough syrup：止咳糖漿
• Priority express：優先快遞
• QA：質量保證（quality assurance)
• "Desperate times call for desperate measures"：絕望的時代需要絕望的措施

台詞：

A: Hello? 

B: Hi this is Desmond Shoe Polish, how can I help you?

A: Hi, yeah, I had a question about your shoe polish. 

B: Is there a problem?

A: Well, actually, now that you mention it -- yes. Your polish doesn’t work.

B: Sir, I’m sorry to hear that. Could you give me more details about the situation? 

A: Where to begin… Well, last week I ordered a crate of 300 tins of your shoe polish. 

B: And they haven’t been delivered yet? 

A: Oh no no no, they were delivered… 

B: Was there a mix-up in the order? They sent you the wrong colors?

A: The colors were right, it’s just…

B: Ah, we sent you the wrong sizes!

A: Look, no, it’s not the size either, it’s--

B: Well, come on then, what’s the issue?!

A: I don’t think it’s actually real shoe polish. 

B: What do you mean, it’s not real shoe polish? 

A: I think you sent us cough syrup. 

B: Cough syrup?

A: Yeah, it smells like cough syrup. And when I used it on my customer’s shoes, the shoes got all sticky. 

B: Well, I’ll have to ask our QA team about that, I don’t know anything about cough syrup. 

A: Ok, understood. But listen, I really need some actual shoe polish, it’s kind of urgent. Can you send me some via priority express?

B: It’ll take a couple weeks to go through the whole procedure with QA…

A: But I don’t have a few weeks. Look, can I just talk with your manager? 

B: Oh, you’d like to talk with my manager? Certainly, sir. I’ll just have to discuss that idea with senior management… 

A: What? No. No, don’t do that… Look, just answer me this… why is your company sending people cough syrup instead of shoe polish? 

B: Well, desperate times call for desperate measures.

A: Desperate times…? 

B: The economy. 

A: Ah, right. But what does that--

B: Anyway, please do enjoy your cough syrup, and if there’s anything else I can do for you, don’t hesitate to reach out to us again. Thank you and have a nice day!

A: Hey, wait!