Open to What Is Transistor (https://transistor.fm) https://feeds.transistor.fm/open-to-what-is This isn’t the podcast I was supposed to create. I had something polished and impressive in mind. This is more interesting. You should listen to it. A bit of background: I’d already committed to publishing a daily podcast when I got (very, very, very) sick with Long (very, very, very long) COVID. So, I had a choice: I could give up, or I could keep my commitment and include my constant exhaustion, fever, foggy-brain, relentless cough —and do my best. I chose the latter. My “best” varies quite a bit according to how well or poorly I feel on a given day. The episodes are raw, out of order, unedited, with uneven audio quality, You’ll often hear my Pekingese, Bija barking in the background. Sometimes I talk to myself, sometimes I talk to you. Sometimes I have no idea who I’m talking to. It’s a true potpourri. And it’s not just overhearing me wax poetic through a stuffy nose about new insights and the insufferable discomfort of upended plans. There’s more! In between the fragments of thought, feeling, and utter nonsense, is a timely and universal story about expectations, meaning making, dropping all agendas, and discovering what’s possible when we Open to What Is. Tune in. Sample a few episodes. See if you can drop all expectations and allow yourself to be surprised and delighted by something you didn’t know you were looking for. Creative Futures Lab 56f376e1-0879-56cc-8179-71ab03658fdc no How To Human en Wed, 23 Jul 2025 10:35:45 -0400 Tue, 02 Dec 2025 17:25:08 -0500 https://img.transistor.fm/PDSSNX2BFcuJIuUgbbCjGhFkFyhxNOGeoAJ6q7JrWnQ/rs:fill:0:0:1/w:1400/h:1400/q:60/mb:500000/aHR0cHM6Ly9pbWct/dXBsb2FkLXByb2R1/Y3Rpb24udHJhbnNp/c3Rvci5mbS9zaG93/LzE5NDAxLzE2NjY3/MTYyMDYtYXJ0d29y/ay5qcGc.jpg Open to What Is serial Nicoleta Helén This isn’t the podcast I was supposed to create. I had something polished and impressive in mind. This is more interesting. You should listen to it. A bit of background: I’d already committed to publishing a daily podcast when I got (very, very, very) sick with Long (very, very, very long) COVID. So, I had a choice: I could give up, or I could keep my commitment and include my constant exhaustion, fever, foggy-brain, relentless cough —and do my best. I chose the latter. My “best” varies quite a bit according to how well or poorly I feel on a given day. The episodes are raw, out of order, unedited, with uneven audio quality, You’ll often hear my Pekingese, Bija barking in the background. Sometimes I talk to myself, sometimes I talk to you. Sometimes I have no idea who I’m talking to. It’s a true potpourri. And it’s not just overhearing me wax poetic through a stuffy nose about new insights and the insufferable discomfort of upended plans. There’s more! In between the fragments of thought, feeling, and utter nonsense, is a timely and universal story about expectations, meaning making, dropping all agendas, and discovering what’s possible when we Open to What Is. Tune in. Sample a few episodes. See if you can drop all expectations and allow yourself to be surprised and delighted by something you didn’t know you were looking for. This isn’t the podcast I was supposed to create. personal, vulnerable, uncertainty, culture, mindfulness, wellness Nicoleta Helén No No How To Human How To Human trailer 5be2be54-9255-4e95-a33b-fe99e2beb9ce https://share.transistor.fm/s/71222cc1 How often are you living the life you want to live, the way you want to live it?
How often are you waiting for permission?

Take what you hear from this messy human as an invitation;
To listen inward.
To sense outward.
And to feel less alone. 

]]> How often are you living the life you want to live, the way you want to live it?
How often are you waiting for permission?

Take what you hear from this messy human as an invitation;
To listen inward.
To sense outward.
And to feel less alone. 

]]> Tue, 01 Nov 2022 17:00:00 -0400 Nicoleta Helén Nicoleta Helén 225 An offering....that started as a sound test. An offering....that started as a sound test. personal, vulnerable, uncertainty, culture, mindfulness, wellness No Start Here: A Courage Warm Up Start Here: A Courage Warm Up full 7c7f9348-0e69-4233-ad01-abdf8344c30e https://share.transistor.fm/s/b94fad8c Courage is 
knowing
what's 
hardest
for
you
when no one's looking.

It's about knowing
where you hide.
where you shut down.
where you berate yourself

And 
it's
taking
a 
small 
   step
    forward.

]]> Courage is 
knowing
what's 
hardest
for
you
when no one's looking.

It's about knowing
where you hide.
where you shut down.
where you berate yourself

And 
it's
taking
a 
small 
   step
    forward.

]]> Wed, 02 Nov 2022 15:26:24 -0400 Nicoleta Helén Nicoleta Helén 493 The Beginning of Opening to What Is The Beginning of Opening to What Is personal, vulnerable, uncertainty, culture, mindfulness, wellness No Inner Commitment: Discovering Your Resonant Lexicon Inner Commitment: Discovering Your Resonant Lexicon full a76a2e3c-bb5f-4f18-8a3e-194f666c5da1 https://share.transistor.fm/s/3fedf263 Whenever I make certain ways of being/thinking/feeling a problem (and, by implication, elevate some ways of being/thinking/doing as superior to others) I'm acting like a ranking system. I morph into an evaluation mechanism, and divide myself up into warring parts.

There's Good Me. Bad Me. Extraordinary Me. Disappointing Me.  All these categories that are just a reflection of how I perceive the world outside me.)  And the more that internalize this system and the longer I'm in dialogue with myself this way, the farther from my intention I get. Because what happens is not that all the parts of me suddenly fall into line. It's not like berating myself magically inspires the resistant parts of me suddenly rise to the occasion and I magically behave the way I think I ought to behave.

On the contrary. The more I engage with my thoughts and feelings as though all I am is content to be quantified by some omniscient ranking algorithm, the more shallow, narrow, and defended my experience of myself and of others becomes. 

]]> Whenever I make certain ways of being/thinking/feeling a problem (and, by implication, elevate some ways of being/thinking/doing as superior to others) I'm acting like a ranking system. I morph into an evaluation mechanism, and divide myself up into warring parts.

There's Good Me. Bad Me. Extraordinary Me. Disappointing Me.  All these categories that are just a reflection of how I perceive the world outside me.)  And the more that internalize this system and the longer I'm in dialogue with myself this way, the farther from my intention I get. Because what happens is not that all the parts of me suddenly fall into line. It's not like berating myself magically inspires the resistant parts of me suddenly rise to the occasion and I magically behave the way I think I ought to behave.

On the contrary. The more I engage with my thoughts and feelings as though all I am is content to be quantified by some omniscient ranking algorithm, the more shallow, narrow, and defended my experience of myself and of others becomes. 

]]> Thu, 03 Nov 2022 20:40:00 -0400 Nicoleta Helén Nicoleta Helén 789 The more I try to engage with my thoughts and feelings as content to be quantified by some omniscient ranking algorithm, the more shallow, narrow, and defended my experience of myself and of others becomes. The more I try to engage with my thoughts and feelings as content to be quantified by some omniscient ranking algorithm, the more shallow, narrow, and defended my experience of myself and of others becomes. Culture, mental health, media, technology, wellness, algorithms, IFS No Inconveniences Practice Inconveniences Practice full da7ca558-038f-4e95-af30-68b3d1030047 https://share.transistor.fm/s/e78278b6 Fri, 04 Nov 2022 20:58:00 -0400 Nicoleta Helén Nicoleta Helén 937 Enter into courtship with disruption. Enter into courtship with disruption. personal, vulnerable, uncertainty, culture, mindfulness, wellness No Lighthearted Heartache Lighthearted Heartache full edc99b52-77e8-45e3-b1d4-af2c2d4c18d6 https://share.transistor.fm/s/20b1f552 This human thing doesn't have to be such a big deal. Especially when it feels like a really big deal.

]]> This human thing doesn't have to be such a big deal. Especially when it feels like a really big deal.

]]> Sat, 05 Nov 2022 20:59:19 -0400 Nicoleta Helén Nicoleta Helén 497 Enter the paradox. Enter the paradox. personal, vulnerable, uncertainty, culture, mindfulness, wellness No Goodbye Expectations - Part 1 Goodbye Expectations - Part 1 full f1fda8e6-19f3-4135-ac88-6eeb15dc4d69 https://share.transistor.fm/s/49e7de69 'Goodbye' expectations...like any fairytale, I'm loathe to let you go. 

]]> 'Goodbye' expectations...like any fairytale, I'm loathe to let you go. 

]]> Sat, 05 Nov 2022 22:44:00 -0400 Nicoleta Helén Nicoleta Helén 807 What does it look like to let go of expectations? Why is it so hard to say 'goodbye' to all our ideas about how life is 'supposed' to go? What does it look like to let go of expectations? Why is it so hard to say 'goodbye' to all our ideas about how life is 'supposed' to go? expectations, creativity, coaching, design No Goodbye Expectations - Part 2 Goodbye Expectations - Part 2 full 5e9ae24d-e4c7-48c7-a3ed-0cbe907ff576 https://share.transistor.fm/s/bfda4116 As you hear, my voice isn't great. I'm coughing a lot, that is just going to be part of what this is.
This work is not polished, I'm not polished. This is not edited. Much of it is offered without context or explanation.

You might get clips and bits and pieces from before I got sick, and you might get some supporting dialogue around that, or it might just come in without explanation.

The intention is to offer the doing of something - the doing of a thing (creating and sharing content) in a way that I believed I simply could not do six months ago. I couldn't do this because I would've refused to do this.

Anything approaching this raw, unpolished, offering six months ago was not something I was willing to do.

I didn't even know that I wasn't willing. I assumed that I shouldn't be willing. And I missed out on the magic that only happens amidst uncertainty and letting go. 

]]> As you hear, my voice isn't great. I'm coughing a lot, that is just going to be part of what this is.
This work is not polished, I'm not polished. This is not edited. Much of it is offered without context or explanation.

You might get clips and bits and pieces from before I got sick, and you might get some supporting dialogue around that, or it might just come in without explanation.

The intention is to offer the doing of something - the doing of a thing (creating and sharing content) in a way that I believed I simply could not do six months ago. I couldn't do this because I would've refused to do this.

Anything approaching this raw, unpolished, offering six months ago was not something I was willing to do.

I didn't even know that I wasn't willing. I assumed that I shouldn't be willing. And I missed out on the magic that only happens amidst uncertainty and letting go. 

]]> Sun, 06 Nov 2022 23:00:00 -0500 Nicoleta Helén Nicoleta Helén 319 Part 2: The quiet gift of unmet expectations and foiled plans. Part 2: The quiet gift of unmet expectations and foiled plans. uncertainty, creative, making, risk, expectations No Gentleness Gentleness full 4d0c2204-fa90-453f-bcee-e1cf53043089 https://share.transistor.fm/s/a7cc2bc9 I used to think of compassion, specifically self-compassion, as weakness.

Gentleness seemed flaccid. 'Be gentle': It seemed like a consolation prize to offer to someone inept and fragile. 
I heard it as a veiled insult.

Be gentle with yourself. (.....because you can't handle anything more than that, you poor, pitiful thing.)


Now I know better.

]]> I used to think of compassion, specifically self-compassion, as weakness.

Gentleness seemed flaccid. 'Be gentle': It seemed like a consolation prize to offer to someone inept and fragile. 
I heard it as a veiled insult.

Be gentle with yourself. (.....because you can't handle anything more than that, you poor, pitiful thing.)


Now I know better.

]]> Mon, 07 Nov 2022 11:00:00 -0500 Nicoleta Helén Nicoleta Helén 292 When you hear words like gentleness and compassion, what comes to mind? When you hear words like gentleness and compassion, what comes to mind? compassion, mindfulness, courage, reflection, journal No Joan Didion Joan Didion full 3b44b8ae-1705-4370-bf59-591822966b47 https://share.transistor.fm/s/ba94c34e How do you know what you're thinking? How do you clarify what you're looking at?
How do you know what you see? What it means? What you want and what you fear?

]]> How do you know what you're thinking? How do you clarify what you're looking at?
How do you know what you see? What it means? What you want and what you fear?

]]> Mon, 07 Nov 2022 12:00:00 -0500 Nicoleta Helén Nicoleta Helén 397 Some quotes and some riffs. Some quotes and some riffs. Joan Didion, reflection, writing, courage, art, human No Pretense of Accident Pretense of Accident full 8aadc905-e993-4695-ab97-349e90268a75 https://share.transistor.fm/s/498d83c9 The second we decide that one way of being is good. Then we know that means that the other ways of being, or another way of being, is bad. There's this this whole drama that unfolds. It's dualistic thinking. It's a constant unfolding. 


]]> The second we decide that one way of being is good. Then we know that means that the other ways of being, or another way of being, is bad. There's this this whole drama that unfolds. It's dualistic thinking. It's a constant unfolding. 


]]> Mon, 07 Nov 2022 23:00:00 -0500 Nicoleta Helén Nicoleta Helén 1260 A little of this, a little of that. A moment in time. A mind with no agenda. Open questions, inner conversations and old whispers about the weight of expectations. A little of this, a little of that. A moment in time. A mind with no agenda. Open questions, inner conversations and old whispers about the weight of expectations. non-dualism, exploration, self-enquiry No Open Space Open Space full 184e982d-6252-499e-813c-30ddfdc5dca0 https://share.transistor.fm/s/4398c59b Where does your mind go in the in-between spaces?

]]> Where does your mind go in the in-between spaces?

]]> Tue, 08 Nov 2022 11:00:00 -0500 Nicoleta Helén Nicoleta Helén 298 Open Space: How do you fill it? Open Space: How do you fill it? emptiness, openness, space, shunyata, inquiry, pause, betweenness No Centering Practice Centering Practice full 87147633-15ed-4303-bcdb-ca96ab6267bc https://share.transistor.fm/s/999fcf8f Getting or being 'centered', is not about inhabiting any particular form or state of mind. It is isn't a location or a destination. And at the same time, it includes all of these things. This short practice invites you to lightly investigate the boundaries of your center. 

]]> Getting or being 'centered', is not about inhabiting any particular form or state of mind. It is isn't a location or a destination. And at the same time, it includes all of these things. This short practice invites you to lightly investigate the boundaries of your center. 

]]> Tue, 08 Nov 2022 22:00:00 -0500 Nicoleta Helén Nicoleta Helén 360 A practice to reconnect with the centeredness of your center. A practice to reconnect with the centeredness of your center. personal, vulnerable, uncertainty, culture, mindfulness, wellness No Human Human full 5ec2edcc-b39d-4bf2-9ca2-d0d36dda907b https://share.transistor.fm/s/7d97d2e7 What is your relationship with control? Do you tend to fight against unwanted parts of your experience? Does resistance move you forward or hold you back? 

Let this short self inquiry practice serve as a gentle invitation to get curious about your relationship with control and surrender. 

]]> What is your relationship with control? Do you tend to fight against unwanted parts of your experience? Does resistance move you forward or hold you back? 

Let this short self inquiry practice serve as a gentle invitation to get curious about your relationship with control and surrender. 

]]> Fri, 11 Nov 2022 05:00:00 -0500 Nicoleta Helén Nicoleta Helén 369 What is your relationship with control? Do you tend to fight against unwanted parts of your experience? Does resistance move you forward or hold you back? What is your relationship with control? Do you tend to fight against unwanted parts of your experience? Does resistance move you forward or hold you back? control, self enquiry, surrender, resistance. willfulness, creativity, reality, acceptance, coaching, human No Dignity Dignity full 10f3036f-abea-4720-a6c2-5070113cbc81 https://share.transistor.fm/s/afb9b55f What would it be like for you to freak out with dignity? Inhabit wisdom alongside confusion? Be totally committed while welcoming spacious curiosity?

In this brief embodied inquiry, we'll explore your relationship to dignity and related concepts. You'll have an opportunity to notice the unspoken rules shaping your inner lexicon, play with paradox, and explore ambiguity.  

]]> What would it be like for you to freak out with dignity? Inhabit wisdom alongside confusion? Be totally committed while welcoming spacious curiosity?

In this brief embodied inquiry, we'll explore your relationship to dignity and related concepts. You'll have an opportunity to notice the unspoken rules shaping your inner lexicon, play with paradox, and explore ambiguity.  

]]> Fri, 11 Nov 2022 12:00:00 -0500 Nicoleta Helén Nicoleta Helén 605 What would it be like for you to freak out with dignity? Inhabit wisdom alongside confusion? Be totally committed while welcoming spacious curiosity? What would it be like for you to freak out with dignity? Inhabit wisdom alongside confusion? Be totally committed while welcoming spacious curiosity? paradox, dignity, ambiguity, boundaries, coaching, language, space, No